#VERSE ... ‘ ghosts‚ gnomes‚ true love. ( mainverse. )

[pistolslinger]

@builtmyth​     / /      sc.

        " . . . i'm just saying, murder is an option. "

[pistolslinger]

@thebcstofus​ said:

‘ i made a life out of chasing a ghost. ‘ ( from Colm! I was gonna pick a happier one, I really was...)

        HEARING COLM ADMIT it sends a wave of shock through jesper.  his father had never been the most loquacious of people — his presence in jesper’s life had always been marked by the feeling of steady, warm hands on his shoulders, or squeezing him tight in a comforting hug.  but never had he been a supplicant voice in jesper’s head.

     “ ma’s ghost? ”  he almost doesn’t want to say it, as if afraid that acknowledging this will scare colm off into silence again.  but he wants to hear this.  he wants to hear his father say something, anything, about his own grief.  maybe if they spoke about it — aditi’s ghost, hovering over them both all this time, could settle or vanish.  anything.  he’d take anything.  “ i wondered why you never . . . why you never remarried. ”

     here comes the hard part.  here comes the part that puts a lump in his throat.

     “ i . . . i was worried that you just — i thought you’d just resigned yourself to being lonely until you . . . ”  died.  he can’t even SAY the word.  “ why chase ghosts?  didn’t you always tell me not to chase foolish things, huh?  why couldn’t you — ”

[pistolslinger]

@starsloved​ / tamar said:

“do you think they’ll remember me?” boot kicks the dirt lightly as they walk, inhaling the smell of her old home. the fresh air. some days tamar did miss it. she grins as she spots the fahey’s farm in the distance, looking at jesper. “i mean boulder and fíonn were smaller the last time i was here.”

       “ BOULDER STILL REMEMBERS THE TEACHER’S SON who threw a stone at him, and that was yeaaaaars ago — ”  the fahey’s draft horse was, perhaps, the pettiest creature alive — but that long memory of his also made him terribly fond of anyone who gave him treats.  which tamar and tolya had done, gleefully.  jesper flashes her a brilliant smile, hooking his arm in hers and picking up the pace slightly.

home was closer than it had been in years for jesper — perhaps for tamar, too.  in all that time she’d spent travelling, he had to wonder where she thought her roots lay, if any.  he hopes it’s here.  he hopes her memory had laid down roots on this land, on this farm, with him.

“ fíonn was just a baby, though.  you may need to spoil him a little before he warms up again — it’ll be fine, ”  there, in the distance, he hears it.  the familiar stomp of hooves — heavy and fast, accompanied by a loud nicker.  boulder has smelled them on the wind, and he has come running.  jesper’s heart swells in his chest, and the last vestiges of homesickness in his soul begin to fade out.  “ here he comes!  there’s our boy!  boulder!  boulder, look who it is! ”

[pistolslinger]

@heartrendes​ said:   ' matthias is snoring, i can't sleep. scoot. ' she mumbles and nods at his bed. ' c'mon, i'm sleepy. '

     HE KNOWS; he can hear it for himself.  to helvar’s credit, he had an oddly tuneful snore — it sounded like a tank tearing across a field of gravel, but his inhales and exhales were comically uniform.  knhhhrrroooooo.... shoo.  over and over.  the sound of it wafted down the hall and into jesper’s room.  he groans as nina commands the space next to him, but isn’t awake enough to protest beyond a weak whine.  

     “ why can’t ya jus’ — turn ‘im over? ”  he manages, tucking his elbows in to make room for her on the narrow, lumpy bed.  once she’s situated, he automatically throws an arm across her chest, squashed in beside her and actually kind of happy with the sudden warmth in his cold room.  “ he’s only snoring on account of being on his back — if you stopped using the boy like a mattress, he’d snore less! ”

[pistolslinger]

@heartvalor​​ / wylan said:

he’s been watching their cat for half an hour. not a word spoken in pure fear of spooking her again. looking up when jesper comes in.  ‘ did you get the fish ? — im not against a good bribe. ’  a slightly wicked grin shows on his features, but it’s mostly a teasing one.  ‘ i just want her to love being here — and to know that we won’t hurt her. ’

       THERE’S A JOKE, ON THE TIP OF HIS TONGUE, about bribes and down payments, and how wylan has been fully indoctrinated into the barrel’s way of striking deals — but jesper loses his train of thought at the sight of the grin.  when wylan smiled, it was as if jan’s features had been shaved off his face — and having marya around for comparison always made it more striking.

he clearly got that mischievous little grin from his mother.

“ i have chicken . . . ? ”  the cook had given him an odd look at his request for any scraps, almost offended that jesper had overlooked the pastry she had just shoved in the oven.  when he’d explained, no, no, it’s for this mangy cat outside — she had this knowing little look on her face as she handed him leftovers from last night’s dinner.  jesper could only guess at why.  

“ she wouldn’t keep coming back if she didn’t already love it here, ”  he sits down next to wylan slowly, also not wanting to scare the cat away with anything sudden or startling — he’s unable to resist planting an absentminded kiss on wylan’s cheek, though.  “ besides.  you have a very calming presence.  if brekker keeps showing up here, you know what that means, don’t you? ”  that kaz is actually part cat . . . ?  that might require more study.  “ it means our home is very welcoming, very safe, and has the best scraps in all of kerch.  here, you give her the first piece. ”

as he hands over the meat, he shoots wylan a curious, thoughtful look.  “ do you usually feed strays like this?  i wouldn’t question it, only — cook gave me a VERY funny look when i asked her if we had anything to give to the cat.  like, she was surprised, but not too surprised . . . ? ” 

[pistolslinger]

@heartvalor​ said:

there’s a sigh from the wraith as her feet land on the bedroom floor of the van eck manor. ‘ you should leave the window more often. it makes surprise visits more fun. ‘  finally back from sea and ready to see her dear friend. flashing him a smile before walking quick steps to hug him.

      AT FIRST, JESPER THINKS HE’S HALLUCINATING.  it’s been a long week already, but the day had dragged on so long, it felt longer than the week.  his lids are struggling to stay open as he slugs back home from the crow club — he’s about ready to just sink, face - first, into bed and not move for another seven days.  then, he hears her.  inej.  a bleary glance up to make sure he wasn’t having some kind of odd dream about his friend, jesper feels his breath catch in his throat, his heart starts thumping in his ears.

in the next second, jesper is on his feet, energised suddenly and wholly, and rushing to give her a bone - crushing hug.  he barely has time to form words, to think of an appropriate greeting — all he can think about is the cheeky smile she offers up, before he mutters: “ i can’t leave it open, what if brekker gets in instead of you? ” 

[pistolslinger]

@crowgreeds​ said:   ❝  why do you stick around?  what is it you think you see in me?  ❞

      BEING FRIENDS WITH KAZ HAD AS MANY CONSEQUENCES as there were perks — his rampant mistrust and suspicious nature were mere footnotes in that list.  what is it you think you see in me?  that felt like a trick question.  there was no right answer, but kaz was also notoriously difficult to hit with emotional reasoning, too.  

jesper shrugs, turning away so kaz doesn’t see the flash of confusion in his eyes.  if he didn’t know any better  ( and he did, jesper knew better )  he would have assumed that the question came from a place of sincere disbelief.  “ i’m not foolhardy enough to trust appearances when it comes to you, ”  it’s more honest than he had intended to be; perhaps it was a little unkind, too.

“ i stick around ‘cause you’d be endlessly bored without me.  is that what you wanted to hear, or would you prefer i sing your praises a bit? ” 

[pistolslinger]

@builtmyth​ said:   “ We don’t fight fair. ”    ( not accepting. )

       “ AH.  SO WE’RE NOT TAKING PRISONERS TONIGHT? ”  par the course for the dregs, then.  jesper casts a dubious look over at kaz, before quietly shutting his office door with a click.  the waiting dregs outside — some gathering weapons, some anxiously watching the windows and streets — seemed as excited as they were nervous.  the tension and energy before a possible but unconfirmed fight was an almost tangible thing, like jesper could reach out and grab a fistful of it from the air.  “ we’re out of luck, as far as healers and mediks go, tonight.  if the fight turns ugly before you can make a deal with the liddies . . . ”

nonsense worries, of course.  kaz could broker a deal with anyone.   jesper would not let himself doubt.  “ i sent some of the younger ones ahead in search of a stray medik.  we still have names for ones from clinics that owe us money or favours.  and i should warn you, by the way: if i wind up at home with a bullet hold or cut anywhere, wylan may actually poison your tea, ”  a pause.  jesper perches on kaz’s desk, fingers drumming along his knees.  “ it’s cold out.  stupid cold, ”  your leg gets worse in the cold, doesn’t it?  “ let me go instead, deliver an invite to the liddies.  tell them to meet here.  a fight out on the ice could be lethal in a pointless way. ” 

[pistolslinger]

@builtmyth​ ♥’d.

        “ SO . . . THE COUNCIL OF TIDES going sniffing around dregs territory doesn’t freak you out even a little? ”  not that jesper had ever taken inej’s information gathering talents for granted, but shit — learning these things had been faster with her around.  he has half a mind to ask kaz, why haven’t you gotten a new spy yet?  but . . . well, that question answered itself, really.  who could fill inej’s tiny, dangerous, shoes?   “ because it should.  if word gets out the tides are against us in any way, i don’t think it’s going to add anything good to our reputation.  i don’t need to explain to you what ideas that’ll give to rival gangs, so let me just . . . let you in on what it’s doing to half my recruitment jobs: it’s scaring all the normally desperate little pigeons away.  what do we do? ”

[pistolslinger]

@drusja​ said:

‘ i have to confess something to you, ’ there’s a long pause before she bats her lashes at him. ‘ i might’ve spilled pasta sauce on our hoodie. ’

      HE HAS NO WORDS.  NONE AT ALL.  the look of utter betrayal on his face says more than anything he could verbalise.  dimly, jesper realises she had said our sweater, which could only mean — one of the many, HUNDREDS, of sweaters that had gone missing from his wardrobe was now dying in nina’s laundry hamper, somewhere.

he may just cry.

“ . . . pasta sauce doesn’t come out, nina, ”  his voice quivers as he says it, hands coming up to clasp her shoulders tight.  “ just . . . tell me the truth.  what’re the chances of the sweater surviving?  is there a cure? ”

[pistolslinger]

@drusja​ said:  ‘  words aren’t necessary. they won’t change anything. ’   ( not accepting. )

      “ WE’RE FRIENDS WITH BREKKER; you know that isn’t true in the least bit, ”  jesper takes his eyes off the pistol he’s cleaning, swivelling his glance over to make sure nina hasn’t paced a hole through the floor.  whatever she’s been antsy about, for once — jesper hasn’t the slightest clue.  “ if words meant fuck all in the long run, i doubt we would have survived half the shit we got into — remember, we talked our way out of certain doom, multiple times.  we lied right to death’s face, and it changed plenty in our lives. ”

there’s a spot of dirt stuck to the pearl, and jesper is slowly but surely losing all patience trying to get it out.  he doesn’t know what this damn stain is, but . . . hmn.  with a cautious look around the room  ( closed door, windows shut, only nina present — )  jesper curls his fingers in an approximation of what his mother had once shown him, gesticulating slowly, until the stain tracked into his pearl handles . . . slowly crumbed off.  huh.  i guess the small science is good for something.

“ am i to assume you DIDN’T argue your way out of something for once? ”  what an odd thought; what a seemingly impossible outcome.  nina could talk ravka to ruin and rubble if she were left to it — hell, he kind of thought that was her plan for fjerda.  she would step foot in the snow again and talk and talk until the druskelle’s ears bled, until they surrendered for the price of silence.  “ come on now, out with it — what happened? ” 

[pistolslinger]

RAW AS HELL. ( not accepting! )

@heartrendes​ said:   ”Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he’s created here on earth?”

     NOT THE SAME WAY that nina means it, but yes . . . he does.  if jesper had but one minute to speak to any god — any god at all, but especially the ones that determined fate and luck — he would take perhaps ten seconds to aim and fire.  for his mother, for matthias.  for the endless grisha who suffered before death, and the grisha that had to survive without them.  for the thousands of faceless victims of the slaver ships.  the gods ought to be afraid.  if they dared ignore the suffering below them, then they had better stay in the heavens; there was no shortage of their creations on earth that had sharp teeth, sharper claws, and a vested interest in settling scores.

     but THAT is too grim a thought to voice aloud.  jesper’s face is blank, his eyes unfocused and staring down into his drink.  “ you’re asking the wrong person, neens.  i’m not a praying man.  you’d better ask inej about this, instead. ”

[pistolslinger]

SNKT SNKT.  ( not accepting! )

@starsloved​ said:   you won’t believe what you’ve missed. / from tamar

       “ TRY ME.  MY ABILITY to believe in just about anything has improved astronomically over the last few years, ”  flying grisha, walking corpses, inej’s parents appearing almost from thin air — it’s been a fucking ordeal.  as he puts his boots up on the table, jesper flashes tamar a bright smile, brows rising curiously.  “ how d’you feel about a little wager?  whoever has the craziest story wins.  loser buys the next round of drinks. ”

[pistolslinger]

MANY WAYS TO HURT.

@builtmyth​ said:   ‘  you  want  a  better  story .  who  wouldn’t ?  ’

     THIS IS NOT a conversation to have while drunk, even in the company of one’s most trusted and beloved.  that he’s thinking of kaz in junction with the word beloved is absolute proof that he needs to stop nursing the bottle in his hand before he blurts that out.

     brekker means the world to him, but admitting it was a sure fire way to poison them both.  so he takes another ill advised sip of the whiskey, and laughs at the assertions.  who wouldn’t?  their story is mired with pain, pain in the shape of their absent friends, and the non - existent grave matthias lay in.  it’s not so much a story as it is a warning; a tragedy.

     “ i thought we would all still be here at the end of it, is all, ”  inej sitting between them, as she always did.  nina close by and sprawled over matthias, who would have abandoned all pretences about his love for her, his friends.  wylan tucked into jesper’s side, where he’d normally be.  but it’s just jesper and kaz, this night.  even the knowledge that wylan was still close, and that inej and nina would return one day . . . it didn’t quite feel enough.

     “ i wanted us all to be here, kaz.  we deserved that. ”

[pistolslinger]

@7thdevil​ said:  💬 for nina.

         " well?  what happened?  i want all the details! "

[pistolslinger]

INFERNAL DEVICES.   ( selectively accepting. )

@builtmyth​ said:   ‘  is  it  because  i’m  better  looking  than  you  ?  ’

     HE’S HEARD A lot of far - fetched nonsense from kaz in his lifetime, but this truly took the fucking cake, and the rest of the bakery with it.  jesper snorts into his drink, barely escaping from the choke - laugh without alcohol in his lungs.  the sound of it pulls eyes in their direction from across the crow club; had he been paying attention, he would have noticed the confusion on many faces.  did kaz tell a joke?  one crow whispered to another.  does kaz know what a joke is?  came the response, loud enough for jesper to hear.

     this time, he doesn’t inhale his drink laughing.  he does, however, stifle his own chuckle to a deeply amused smile.  it falls flat the second he realises — he can’t tell if kaz is joking or not.  that . . . blank look had always been inscrutable, but now it was starting to feel worrying.

     “ . . . oh, kaz, i’m not going to call you ugly, ”  jesper props his chin up on an open palm, leaning in over the table slightly.  “ you’re not ugly.  your face has . . . well, a certain flavour, ”  salty.  bitter.  “ but i’m also not going to let you delude yourself into thinking you’re better looking than me.  good friends just don’t do that to each other.  so, no — i do not think the breweries let you have first pick of new alcohol ‘cause of your looks.  i think it’s ‘cause everyone in town is a little spooked by you.  i’m just saying, if you handled these transactions with a little more charm, you might get more alcohol for less money, like i could. ”