#Uta's Abandonment Issues™

[stars-mars13]

One Piece Character Angst/Angst HC's

(some are a mix of my random typed out thoughts and others I've heard from ppl)

Law:

Thinking about how Law has probably slowly started to forget Cora's face, how he has so many medicinal books about the frontal lobe and memories and how to regain memories just to be able to remember Cora's face.He'll break down in tears and the other heart Pirates have to comfort him but every time they wrap their hands around him the only one he can think of is Cora and his warmth and how much he misses it. Thinking about how the main three Heart Pirates, Shachi, Penguin, and Bepo all remind him of Cora in some way. How some days it'll be too hard to even look at any of the Heart Pirates because every time he does he catches glimpses of Cora. How meeting the first three Heart Pirates and remembering how he met them always brings him back to remembering Cora. How he probably blocks out memories from that time and anytime they try to reference that period of time, he'll tell them in a bit of a panic that he can't remember and so they'll have to help him. They tell him over and over so he can't forget again. Thinking about how those three are probably the ones who bought Law the material and the sewing kit that he would later use to make his clothes that he incorporates Cora into.

Thinking about how the reason Law hated the female version of himself is because it just reminded him of his little sister. Sweet Lami, who if she had the chance to grow up, would probably look something like how he did. That's why he was so quick to change back, cuz he couldn't and wouldn't think of her. He couldn't think of seeing her empty eyes, her cold, empty eyes. He couldn't think of how he couldn't save her. And during Lami's last seconds all she could think of was her brother, all she could think of was going with him and getting ice cream and playing and doing all the things he promised. And actually thought of these things a smile made its way onto her face. And that's how he found her smiling, smiling, smiling, smiling, always smiling. And that's why seeing Cora's dead body with that same smile made it all the more worse. He hated it. What were they smiling about? Were they really so happy to leave him? Did they feel at peace? Why couldn't he save them? Why couldn't he take their place? If he had even a sliver of a chance to do so, he would.

Sanji:

Thinking about how Sanji pulls that his hair when stressed, because he just has to reassure himself that he's no longer in that helmet, no longer in that cell, that cold dark desolate cell with no one but himself. How whenever it gets too quiet he has to go outside on the deck, go around the other straw hats, because if it's too quiet he's back in that cell again.

Thinking about how one of the main reasons Sanji hated being on Okama Island was the dressing up. Because when he went back to his room one those nights and saw himself, he would spiral into a panic attack because he hadn't seen HER in so long and- GOD, he really does have her eyes, and- and her nose and her mouth. And he just looks so much like her and he HATES it. He's reminded of it every time they succeed in getting him in a dress and putting makeup on him. He feels his hands shake and his breath quickens and eventually the Queens notice. At first they think it's because he just doesn't want to accept this version of himself, but they then realize that's not the case. Sanji hates it because it reminds him of his mother, the one person who showed care and loved freely, even though she would never be free. It haunts him. He hates it even more during WCI, when Reiju mentions how much he looks like her. He can see it in her eyes that whenever she looks at him, all she sees is their mother. He learns to love it eventually, to realize that looking like her means he has another piece of her with him. How it made him look more human. Even though, with the modifications coming in, he no longer felt like he was.

Doflamingo:

Thinking about how whenever Doffy's left alone he'll get that voice in the back of his head, the one he hears whatever he thinks of Rosi, the one that just yearns for his younger brother. The voice in the back of his head screaming and crying for his baby brother. The one that doesn't understand why or how he's gone. The one that doesn't understand that HE'S the reason why his precious baby brother whom he loves so much is dead.It increased ever since he went to Impel Down. It cries and screams and begs for it's little brother. But he pushes it down, he doesn't acknowledge that the reason that he can't see or have his little brother in his arms is because of himself. He doesn't comprehend that all of this is his fault. The voice screams at him that it's all his fault, that he's a monster, that he needs to burn. But he doesn't listen, why should he? His precious baby brother's dead now, after all.

Uta:

Thinking about how Uta probably kept singing because she hated how quiet it was in that house. She had no one to talk to. Her father, the man she trusted with her entire being had thrown her away. She still hears his voice when she sings, complimenting her when she hits the correct notes and reassuring her when she doesn't. She lies awake at night wondering why he left her. Maybe she wasn't a good musician, that's okay, she'll just practice more and maybe he'll come back for her.

Or maybe, just maybe, she was a bad daughter. Maybe he was just tired of her. Maybe he got tired of her being bad. Maybe he didn't like her playing around and being loud. But she and Luffy played around and he never said anything bad. Then again, he always seemed to like Luffy more. She could see it in his eyes whenever he looked at Luffy. She doesn't blame him, Luffy shines brighter than the Sun. Her jealousy of him would never burn brighter than Luffy himself. That's probably it. He doesn't want her because he has Luffy. He probably didn't want her in the first place. She was just dull copper in that pile of shining gold in the treasure chest which he found her. But at least she had Ben! But then, why didn't Ben help her? Did Ben not like her either?

...Did any of them?