#Usually that package lasts me two or three weeks instead of one day xD

[bowithoutadaemon]

Accidentally left the frozen fish filets out on the counter over night.... Guess that answer the question of what I'm making for dinner.

[szopenhauer]

What was your last dream about? pamiętam tylko tyle, że M. powinna uważać na jej byłego

Would you like to build/design your own house? yes

Do you have a cherished childhood teddy bear? it’s not really a teddy but yeah

Are you psychic in any way? it seems

Are you a good dancer? meh

Are you a good singer? nooo

Are you a good cook? not the worst

Are you a good artist? maybe

Are you a good listener? try to be 

Are you a good public speaker? but don’t like to 

Are you a good babysitter? might be but hate that

Are you a good dresser? have my own style

Are you a good comedian? I’m funny :P

Are you a good cleaner? not good enough

Are you a good actor? I am

Are you a good writer? just like to write

Do you ever get chills & goosebumps when you listen to music? tell me about it...

What was the last song that had that effect on you? not sure which was last

Do you know what any of your siblings did over the weekend? I don’t care

Was the last book you read a hardback or paperback? paperback

What was the last thing you required the use of a spoon for? I was eating breakfast

The last time you ate something, was it in a bowl or on a plate? neither XD

Can you recall the last time you held hands with someone? I can

What was the last thing that made your heart melt? hmm...

Can you recall the last time you visited a bookshop? not the exact day but yep

Did you purchase anything? I don’t think so

Have you been wearing homemade masks or store-bought ones? both

Do you call yourself stupid a lot? sometimes

Are you listening to music right now? not rn

What is your newest favorite website? aliexpress?

Do you have a headache right now? had before today

What month is your birthday, and what month would u change it to if you could?  February and would like June, July or August that’s why I will spend my name day during summer instead of spring with my sister

Have you ever had to use an epi pen? not yet

Do you know the names of 3 of your neighbors? (list if you can): personal

What was the last grocery store you shopped at?

Do memories from your past come back to haunt you ? frequently

Have you ever seen an angel? or a ghost

Have you ever seen a demon? that time in a mirror?...

What color was the last sweatshirt you wore? grey

What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Vinnie’s tiny bird next to her signature?

Do you ever find yourself just writing/typing out your feelings? my tumblr is full of this shit

Whose house were you at last, besides your own? my current partner’s

Do you like your teeth? not really

Does piano music tend to calm you down? wouldn’t say so

What’s something you need to get done soon? ugh...

Is your best friend awake right now? they are

If I came to your house, could I find any kind of chocolate? ask my mother

Who was the last person to upload a picture with you in it? M.

Do you ever wear sleep masks when you sleep or shower caps when you shower? neither

Don’t tell me lies, so where’s your man? where’s Nat? XD

Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex? dad

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? yasss

Have you ever kissed under water? hell no

Have you kissed anyone whose name starts with a M? hahaha

Would you kiss the last person who texted you, on the lips? done and I hopefully will

Camping with a ton of friends or hotel with a few friends? hotel 

Could you go the rest of your life without a cigarette? absolutely

Have you ever wanted something you couldn’t have? like health

How is your boyfriend/girlfriend doing and where are they now? she’s angry, has a flu and she’s working

What was the last topic you read about? DID?

Do you prefer Windows or Mac? Windows

What’s the best amusement park ride you’ve ever been on? I’m not a fan of rides tbh

Would you know how to read a house blueprint? partially?

Do you keep notes on your phone? What sort of things do you write? used to on my old cell

Do you remember much from high school? tought so

Has anyone ever come out to you? yup

What was the last album you listened to in full? Red army choir or Anastasis?

Do you have Disney+? we don’t

Have you ever sent a package or letter to a foreign country? postcards

How many jobs do you have on your resume? 0

Are you comfortable with leaving the house without any makeup on?: I don’t wear makeup

Do you have any expensive hobbies?: if I had money...

What length do you like to keep your nails at?: short

Have you ever felt physical pain in a dream?: but not as much as Nat 

Have you ever had Christmas carolers come to your house and sing for you?: when I was a kid

What’s your favorite Studio Ghibli film?: Porco Rosso?

What did you learn from your last failed relationship?: can we not talk about it...

What’s something on your to-do list that never actually gets done?: I’m a huge procrastinator

Have you ever been really passionate about something but then lost interest? If so, what was it?: collages

What’s the worst thing about being male/female (whichever you are)?: period, being able to get pregnant and have female kinds of cancer etc.

What movie has the best special effects?: I’m into practical special effects more than cgi but... there’s too many to name

When did you last have a vision test?: ages ago 

[thewatchau]

Librarian Katrina, Bard's Journal? xD

(Send me Drabble Prompts!)

Fellow Watchers,

After the events at Gáire Roosts last week, I completely forgot to write an the account of my journey and miscellaneous events that occurred during my stay in House Jameson. While the trip itself was a personal venture to fill out some paperwork and catch up with peers in the Bard’s Guild, some of my experiences on the trip and during my stay may be of interest to The Watch. 

The journey itself went surprisingly well. I set out at the end of the month, the morning after King Sean held his most recent charity event in the capital. Much of this winter’s snowfall is still piled up in dense banks along the roadsides of House Jackie, but the roads themselves were clear and manageable as ever. I made excellent time, reaching Runner’s Haven in less than two days.  

Once there, I personally ensured that all of your letters and messages made their way into trustworthy hands. I was told to inform you all that, while spies have continued to crop up across Duilintinn, few have attempted to interfere with the duties of messengers and riders across the kingdom. Clearly, whatever evil power holds sway over these poor souls cannot convince them to violate our traditional values on such matters, and for that, I am grateful.

In addition, it was here that I received word about the King’s troubling response to The Watch. Messengers at the outpost graciously distributed my letter on the subject to the garrisons and outposts on my behalf as I continued my journey. 

After another three days journey, I reached Fort Conchúr. Despite the responsibilities that awaited me at the Bard’s Guild, over a day’s journey to the south, I ended up spending a full day at the garrison recuperating from the long journey. 

Okay, that’s a lie. I spent the whole day in the library working on the paperwork I needed to turn in at the guild. You know, the stuff that I probably should have done before I left, but instead carefully ignored in their waterproof canvas package until the day before my arrival.

Thankfully, Librarian Kat of House Jameson was at her usual place among the bookshelves, accompanied by her newly-appointed familiar, Diaval. The mountain of forms were far easier to endure with Kat’s quiet, knowing company as she reminisced about her days learning how to tend the books all around us. She joked that we should burn useless files such as these, which served no purpose other than to analyze our abilities at something we don’t particularly feel like doing… but in the end, we settled for lighting a stove instead and shared hot drinks to keep warm as the sun dipped below the horizon. 

I must say, Diaval is an extraordinarily intelligent and well-behaved animal; whoever conducted and approved his familiar status knows what they’re doing. He barely made a sound as I worked; the only time I even noticed him pacing at Kat’s feet was when she seemed to take ill for a moment. I can hardly blame Kat for her moment of disconcertion; I nearly dozed off in my seat multiple times throughout the evening. It’s a wonder the two of them don’t lose all sense of time amidst the ancient tomes. I feel like I could get lost in the knowledge within them for a century, and the cold drafts coming from between the stone walls of Fort Conchúr certainly have a knack for keeping you huddled up indoors.

Unfortunately, spending one hundred years in The Watch’s library is not possible when you have guild business to attend to in the south. I took my leave of Kat, Diaval, and Fort Conchúr the next morning, planning to arrive at the guild by the next day. Of course, this was precisely when Watchers at the Roosts spotted signs of The Enemy’s movements near the forest border. Mage Artist Fay, a fellow Watcher and friend who had been in the Western Forest during my brief stay in Fort Conchúr, managed to intercept me on the road and relay the news, stopping only briefly to point me in the direction of the outpost before continuing towards Fort Conchúr. The rest, of course, is history. 

My journey back to Fort Stiofán began two days ago, and Lord willing I should arrive at the garrison in five days time. I’m currently spending another evening of far more enjoyable writing in the library of Fort Conchúr with Kat. She was the one who suggested I write to you with all that’s occurred on my journey, though she is unaware of the glowing appraisal of her company I’ve included within this letter. While such an account may not be particularly helpful in our watch for The Enemy, I truly believe that such stories of mundane contentment and peace amidst the tides of chaos are exactly what we need to carry positivity and encouragement into the days ahead.

With Warm Regards,

Bard Emily Keyes

Written to fellow members of The Watch in the Third Month of the Year One Thousand Six Hundred and Fourteen.

[tumblunni]

10 facts about trixie!

Oh wow, totally forgot I got this meme earlier this month??I’m sorry, buddy!

10 Trixie Facts:

* The protagonist adopted her, and they’d only been together for about three or four years before the zombie apocolypse started. But they’re absolutely, utterly a fire-forged bond that can never be broken. Mum spent like a decade trying to adopt a child, every time Trixie doubts that she’s really wanted her mother has a whole cabinet full of paperwork proving otherwise! And Trixie doubts so much because she was a ‘multiple offender’ at the foster home, she was almost adopted several times but all the people before Ms Boyd always returned her before even a year had passed. She was considered a problem case and so she became one, she became a cynical mess who never even tried anymore. But somehow this lady just would not give up on her no matter how much she tried to chase her away, and now she’s finally got the first stable home in her lifetime, and her first experience of a good parent......whiiiiich ended up being a problem, because Mum Boyd’s excessive optimism has led to keeping her daughter’s zombie around and pretending like nothing has happened. Trixie never predicted the full extent of her mother’s dedication on that day she asked “please never give up on me”.* At the start of the game, zombified Trixie’s awareness of this weird tall person who follows her around is pretty much a constant doubt emoji. So probably I’m gonna mix it up with occasional comedic interludes from her perspective, to break up all tha sad. Plus also to make it clear that this zombies do actually have some degree of a soul, and this isn’t just a story there’s no point in reading cos its guaranteed to have a bad ending.ANYWAY WHERE WAS IThe only part of herself she initially retained (aside from adorable grumpyness) was just this weird voice in the back of her head saying “Don’t eat this one.” And she’s pretty frustrated that it doesn’t even have the decency to run away like the others!She doesnt really know that she’s forgotten anything, so she’s been like

“Why is it here. What is happening. Its shaped like a thing but it isn’t. Why won’t it go away.”Just a wild haze of comparing this thing’s behaviours VS every other human, seriously where is the correlation, what is wrong with this “mum” and how do you define a “mum”. Is it like some sort of elite human superweapon??And even the heartfelt moments are totally ruined when you see inside Trixie’s head and she’s just like “WHY IT TOUCH ME”. Just slow zoom in on her terrified face mid-hug and the meme calculations fly across the screen..

* Eventually the conclusion she comes to is “It can’t be a food, it has to be another zombie.”When she first started trusting her mother again, it was from the perspective of a fellow predator, essentially. I mean, we have this nest here and we go hunting and scavenging together, right? We have those great bonding experiences like when we fought all those “bandit”! But this thing never seems to eat anything, and its weirdly obsessed with stuff that doesn’t matter, like these “money” that hurt my teeth.Conclusion: This is just a stupid zombie that needs my help to learn how to zombie.So she’s like a patronizing but affectionate tough love mentor to the Stupid Tall One, and sometimes she humours her and does the weird thing where you grab but do not eat each other. And I mean.. its a pretty sweet deal! It may be stupid but it’s tall! And it has a stick that goes boom! All i have to do in return is wear these weird itchy wool skins on top of my skin and not eat the other tall stupid things. It must be saving those for later.

* Aaaa I kinda have stopped doing Facts and its more like I’m just explaining the character’s story

* What number even is this

* OKAY ACTUALLY A TRIVIA FACT:Trixie has a weird fascination with those shampoo bottles shaped like fishes.Or I might make up a new original equivelant to avoid copyright issues, lol. Some sort of animal-shaped packaging with a collectable aspect! I thought it would be a fun thing you could find in the game. This ruined post-apocolyptic world and you’re trying to assemble the full set just to see your kid smile again, even if only for a moment. Surprisingly sad moments from shampoo fish!Tho cos Trixie is so grumpy and cynical she’s a bit embarassed about this silly hobby and tries to deny it at every turn. Just like *ASBSOLUTE BEAMING KAWAII EYES* “I hate it. I hate it so much it must sit on this shelf so I can hate it forever.”I was thinking maybe even they could kinda fullfill a small purpose as a mini portable garden? You’d modify them into small plantpots and could grow some minor herbs and flowers that you can carry around in your backpack. Just a nice way to make things feel a bit more normal, which is kinda necessary to our protagonist mom’s mental health. optimism meter or somethin?

* She likes her hat a lot. I probably need to figure out how to draw it looking more beaten up and less matching with the rest of her outfit, its meant to be one of the few things she kept when she was just a regular roaming zombie. It was like the first sign her mum had that she did at least remember something of her old life.Oh, and her mum likes collecting different badges to put on it. It started off as kinda similar to putting a bell on a cat so you know when its trying to escape, but now Trixie’s grown to like this strange human invention of the jangly forehead noise. She’s learned to take it off when the two of them are doing stealth operations, and even use it as a distraction to misdirect the enemy. Or to get away from the Tall Stupid One for a moment. Seriously what a dope, this ‘mum’ actually thinks its got me trapped! (Though the mittens are far harder to outsmart, who invented this evil hand covering?)

* Gameplay-wise, i think Trixie would be like a powerful speedster compared to other zombies. Kids surviving the infection isnt very common, and they usually die off quickly. They’re obviously not as strong as normal ones and theyre not exactly gonna get any stronger. But her advantage is that she’s more mobile because there’s kinda less complex machinery to animate, yknow? She’s got more speed and she’s smaller than pretty much every other enemy on both sides of this conflict, she can rush in with a kind of stealth and dexterity nobody expected zombies to possess.And the condition progresses faster in younger hosts, so the more supernatural side of her abilities is already manifesting early on. Her conciousness isnt really coherant enough to learn how to use it though, at the start its just like randomized limit break type bursts of shadow energy.Though, I mean, this doesn’t mean that she isn’t a physical attacker. She’s just more like long strings of multiple-hit combos, getting the same result even with her much lower attack stats. And still, even a weak zombie is stronger than the strongest human, aka the mum. mum is like a super survival hulk who can lift a damn sofa over her head, but that doesnt really help when fighting zombs so she’s usually a ranged gunner instead. I feel like its gonna work in a kind of elemental triangle with like.. human ranged/’tech attacks’ are effective against zombies, and melee isnt, but then zombie melee is super powerful and they arent able to compete with humans when it comes to ranged strategy. And then when the enemy is human vs human, you have a lot more trouble doing complex gunfighting, and your melee can actually compete against each other. or something. i’ll figure out whatever works best!

* Oh, but I think trixie also has more tech attacks than other zombies, because her personality as a human was very cynical and always prepared for anything. But she’d start off with no techs and only develop them as she regains her memories.One cute idea I had was her being able to turn soda cans and mentos into distraction grenades, and then like one out of ten attacks actually deals damage instead. Cos when you’ve got everyone frustrated dodging your exploding cans, they dont expect just a full can of tuna to bean them in the forehead XD

* I haven’t fully developed the circumstances of how she got infected, but I think it’s something where both her and her mom blame themselves for it. Like, maybe it was a confrontation with bandits or something, and Trixie did something reckless that led to them getting caught? But then Mum is like ‘oh god I failed to proect you’ and blames herself for her naive shonen protagonist optimism causing her to fall for some sort of trick, and then Trixie got bitten while saving her from it. So really they both messed up, its just tragic that only one of them lived to learn from it...

* Oh and for Maximum Tragedy, I don’t think it was even a fatal wound. It was probably like just a really small scratch and Mum kept trying to reassure Trixie that it would be fine, sinking into delusion while her poor 11 year old kid is the one who realized she was gonna die and was the only one willing to do something about it. So she had to suffer slowly fading away from illness over the next week, being TERRIFIED that her mum was refusing to let her go, and any second now she could become a zombie and kill her while she wouldnt even try to defend herself. So in the end, while Mum was all sitting in the corner all “ha.. ha... its just an ordinary cold... gotta stay positive”, Trixie packed a small bag of personal effects and ran away into the night, to find a place to die alone.in the end though, she left it too late and couldnt make it very far. Her last memory as she lay there dying was seeing the silhouette of her mother appearing on the horizon and knowing she’d failed to protect her :(

* Fun fact: no failure of protection actually happened, the two of them are both still around one year later, and if this writer has any say in it then I’m gonna find some damn way to write a happy ending.>:(

[faintlyof]

I can’t wait for things to settle down a bit. I’m even more all over the place than ever these days.

Well not just these days, for a few months now cuz things went a little crazy toward the end of last year and they havent really settled down since. Ao it’s been like 8 months of nothing being constant and it’s wreaking havoc on my routines. ;^;

I’ve been trying to eat more healthily and I’ve mostly successfully integrated a salad into my every day life and I’ve been able to drink at least 500mL of water every day minimum for at least a month now, but my cravings for breads and sweets have been insatiable. I’m trying to get back to my pre-pandemic weight (It’s only like 4kg less!!) but I can’t seem to stop myself from inhaling everything bread-y or sweet. I’ve tried buying less, but all that means is I’ll eat an entire package in one sitting instead of eating a little bit less in two or more sittings. >< I know I’m stress eating but I can’t seem to stop it. >< I kind of had a decent routine going for a bit but then...

Well, what with the pandemic and everything, works gotten so...Ugh scattered, I don’t know. I used to work at three schools at set times on set days. Then, at the beginning, we cancelled kids classes for a bit and I lost my main source of exercise! But then those weeks passed and the classes started again and then the pandemic got worse and some classes switched to online (which wasn’t an option before so no one had any training because...it wasn’t a thing so why would anyone have training?) and then things progressed more and all in person classes were cancelled, but then that caused a huge drop in class amounts so they had to close schools and my main school and one of my other ones were some of the smaller ones and just completely closed, so I got a super long vacation period (Golden Week was like 4 days this year but I got 9 days off) and then going back to work, since my schools were closed, I got moved to other schools and the times have all changed and some days they don’t have enough work so they just tell me not to come in but only like a day in advance.

And all the schools I’m at are significantly farther than my regular schools. And I already usually work evenings. So I’m getting back to my train station around 11-11:30 and all the grocery stores are closed because there’s a pandemic so I can’t grocery shop as usual, I have to go to a different train station and then I can’t always get my usual foods and next thing I know I’ve got a basket of bananas, fruit juice, bread, oreos, chocolate, crackers and some other type of cookie.

And basically what I’m saying is I can’t live like this. xD: Also, I have to wear a mask all day every day at work and I’m pretty sure once summer comes I am going to die. I understand why it’s important and I completely agree that we all should be wearing masks. That doesn’t make it any less inconvenient and uncomfortable though.

I already have a lot of trouble with temperature regulation. I’m pretty sure I’ve already told my stories here before. (Recap: Used a hot tub when I was like 10, spent the entire night barfing, cautiously tried a hot tub in high school, had a massive headache and terrible nausea the rest of the day, took a cool, 10-minute bath a few years ago, passed out the second i tried to stand up despite having actively taken action to prevent that ((short bath, cool bath, door open, glass of water before, let all the water drain before even attempting to move, fan on, the works))) Basically, on top of the mask being uncomfortable and squeezing my face so much it gives me a headache within minutes and the straps rubbing my ears raw, it makes me so hot that i get queasy real quick.

I’m just tired of everything right now, sorry. I’m pretty sure I had a point at the beginning of this rant but I’ve lost track of it now. :/