#Username hellsfryingpan i owe you my life and firstborn son

[spacejasontodd]

"Joe!! Get your lazy ass over here!!" My crackhead of a Vice President shouted.

I put my short white hair in a messy bun as I stared at my reflection's blue orbs giving me a proper gander before throwing on a hoodie and heading downstairs. Vice President Kamala Harris was already at the table, taking a swing of her vape in between downing more vodka like the socialist commie she was.

"Pack your shit and go! I needed money for the presidential campain so I sold you!"

"You can't do that, you can't just sell me to some young hot tail!!" I cried out with tears streaming down my pretty, sharp cheekbones.

"I never even wanted you to be my President! Now go to your room and pack!!"

"Why are you doing this!!"

"Because I love being the President and hate you!!!"

Before I could even stumble and trip on my way up the stairs, there came a knock to the White House's door. The handle was pulled without waiting for an answer, and suddenly I was very glad I wasn't stuck in an unlocked stall.

"'Ello luv! We're your new owners!" Said Harry One Direction, making himself right at home like the Colonizer he was.

"B-but I'm Irish!" I croaked, dumbfounded.

"Nonsense! We both know they've revoked your ancestry card thanks to your war crimes! Now get your bags and let's go, our private jet is waiting." Harry winked at me smiling devilishly and amidst all this chaos all I could think was...

Would Obama be jealous?

"Kamala Harris raised 50+ million dollars after Biden dropped out!" you fools.... that's the money she got from selling Biden to One Direction :(