#Understand that white women deserve empathy and spaces to grieve but they shouldn't have the monopoly on victimhood and trauma.

[runthepockets]

This sentiment applies to pretty much every point in history, but in particular I'm thinking of the 2010s and what an insane time it was to be an intersectional feminist back then. You had all of these cis white women (and hell, even white trans people who were still stuck in the hegemonic cultural mindset they were raised around) being like "yeah basically if you hate my very narrow and ass backwards ideas of womanhood and femininity (RE: BEING A USELESS BURDEN THAT EXISTS FOR NOTHING BUT BEING EMOTIONALLY TRAMPLED OVER, CHILD BEARING, GENERAL FRAGILITY, AND A SEVERE LACK OF EMPATHY) or any of the art I make that conveys this shitty sentiment then you hate all women and there's no hope for you".

Criticism of men's violence and emotional incompetence / willful ignorance is warranted, of course. Nothing will change if you don't speak up, everyone needs a space to vent, and even if we see the deconstruction of patriarchal mindset in our lifetimes, most attitudes and opinions will not always be perfect. But making an identity out of forming a big circle jerk over Lana Del Ray, relating to that mean, racist little white girl from Lady Bird (2018), and stewing in a pot of your own misery all day every day just does not compare, nor is it terribly accessible, relatable, or interesting to anyone outside of a very specific identity and experience, nor is it sustainable for a political movement.

Like idk dude, I grew up around a lot of black girls and latinas who would beat your ass 6 ways to Sunday if you said anything remotely disrespectful about their abilities as a woman. People of all races and nationalities still empathize with Lauryn Hill and think fondly of Aaliyah. Nicki Minaj moved mountains for middle school girls in 2010, and though the initial reaction to her was pretty rough, by 2012 even the guys had been endeared enough to her to start including her in musty dorm room debates about who was reshaping the rap game alongside Kanye and Wayne. Me and my homies bumped Bad Girls by M.I.A at the end of every day my freshman year of high school. As a black man I think Skate Kitchen (2018) was one of the coolest movies to come out of the last decade.

These are all women, same as you-- possibly even less popular due to their nonwhite status-- but with diverse experiences, self awareness, and approaches to nuance that speak to a wide variety of people and set them apart, thus the outpour of support from all sides. I don't think womanhood itself is the problem here, I think you're just boring and mean with all the tools in the world at your fingertips to expand and elevate your mindset, but none of the know how to use any of them. If anything I think you should talk to somebody.

I think we fucked up by letting white people be the face and voice of the majority of the feminist movement.