#Unchecked and unedited sorry if typos

[radio-charlie]

"Well. Looks like your butthead god had a golden boy brand to maintain. So he outsourced the power-tripping sadism he really wants to indulge all the time to me."

The sinners look at you, their lips quivering, some eyes brimming with tears. One starts screaming uncontrollably.

"O Satan, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please spare me. I didn't mean to kill him, he was just trying to get into our room and really angry and crazy like how he gets after work sometimes. And I was worried about my Abby." The person gulps, heaves, gradually goes glassy-eyed. Fingers clutching at their clothes absently, like the ghosts of little spiders. " Where's my Abby...? Where did my little girl go. Are you in heaven. Are you here with me too. "

You look at them for a bit, then guide them to a little fire decal chair in the corner. It's surprisingly comfortable. There's a glass of water on the side table next to it.

"I don't think Abby is here, but I'll check the registry for you later."

There's an Arab hijabi woman who's been hiding away from the rest, watchful and silent the entire time. You look over at her and ask:

"Hello ma'am. And what are you here for, may I ask...?"

The woman takes a bit of time to size you up, then answers:

"I don't know. My life was sunnah. I loved and gave as much as I could. But I am here with my whole village. One day we were alive, next day we weren't."

Somebody else moves to speak after she's finished, but cringes back into the shadows. You can't make out much of their features, but notice that they have a hoodie on. It has a blue, pink and white flag of some kind on the left sleeve.

Some familiar bile rises in your throat, but you know by now that you have to swallow it back down. You have to be strong, for God's most hated sinners.

"I see." You step away so that you can address everybody at once. "Okay. Now that you're all here, there are just some things I have to explain to you."

"You're not here because you did anything wrong. You're just here because God doesn't like you."

"Isn't that... Kind of the same thing though?“

"Not anymore it ain't."

Your charges' eyes are saucer wide now.

"What do you mean...? We get an eternity of horrific torment just because some really powerful and shitty guy thinks we're gross? Figures. “ The person in the hoodie is finally talking. There isn't even a hint of tremor in their voice. "Y'know, they really had us going with the whole 'oooh, we'll be so different from the old system, we'll set things right and give you all heaven on earth if you just help us to where we need to be' schtick. And now we're just fucking stuck here with you. After everything."

You don't say anything, instead hitting a little fire-shaped button with your paw. The temperature suddenly descends to a nice and balmy 22 degrees Celsius. A minibar pops out of the floor, as does a massive buffet filled with goodies to satisfy all dietary restrictions. Some really cheesy bossanova begins to play from an invisible PA setup.

Inexplicably, there's also an onsen and a couple of massage chairs all of a sudden.

"Look kid. God told me I'm your punishment. And if you're really as bad as all that, nothing should be worse than an eternity of comfort that your monstrous sinner self does not deserve."

You waggle your eyebrows in what you believe is a conspiratorial manner. There's another button next to the fire shape. You hit that too and some very convincing screams start playing on loop.

"Sorry, just try to tune that out while you're here. Daddy God's a loser who doesn't like getting his hands dirty, but he wants to know I'm meeting my KPI."

The souls of the damned balk at everything for a bit, and then start wandering around to check out all the different doohickeys that have manifested in the space.

"Have fun guys. Remember: you're here forever."

There’s good news and bad news. Bad news, you’re in hell. Good news, you’re not being punished. You are the punishment.