#Uncertain Reality

[blujaydoodles]

I've had the lad on the brain a lot lately, so this mistletoe dooble is a direct sequel to this one from last year 😌

[mejomonster]

Deeply love twink sherlock holmes in chapter one and the awakened. I appreciate how he liked his imaginary friend to call him Sherry. How he still calls for Jon (and in a way, himself, for help). I love that he calls for Watson and made a friend he can Trust even when his grip on reality is going to hell. And John Watson is such a good goddamn friend, he protects Sherlock against Mycroft, calls Mycroft out directly, and oh man is he a good friend. A real family made type of friend. I love that this version of Sherlock has genuine mental health struggles, its acknowledged, and I like how it influences the cards Mycroft tries to push and and showcases the respect Watson has for people (and less front and center but always present, informs how compassionate Sherlock is for people who suffer at the hands of professionals who don't know how to treat or pueposely abuse - he already had a propensity to be kind, and care for victims, this additional backstory trait just adds that he can relate personally and tends toward noticing how vulnerable people can become to danger when in situations without power over their own lives). I like that Chapte One made some bold fucking writing choices, basically writing their own version of the Sherlock character by deciding to make their own origin story for him. And then to continue using those characterizations (grown and developed but from initialized from unique backstory) to do more with that characterization, continue to evolve it and utilize it. I really appreciate those choices. They're interesting. They do deviate this version of Sherlock from other versions to a greater degree, but also add something unique to this one which at least for me emotionally resonates. I appreciate that The Awakened does not ignore Chapter One, but as a full "new interpretation" in a way, remembers cordona, remmebers Violet, remembers Sherlock's struggle to find closure, his grief, his family pains, and continues to recognize how those choices would keep informing how he experiences things, how he grows.

[alpacacare-archive]

If i think about noelle deltarune too hard i just crumple and die a little. I just want to give her her sister back and never replay the game again

[minorfamilysupremacy]

disabled vegas is the most important vegas to me.

[drumlincountry]

today I took ANTI-DEPRESSION MEASURES like MAKING DELICIOUS STEW and DONATING TO PALESTINIAN CHILDREN'S RELIEF FUND and GOING FOR A RUN

[brittlebutch]

never going to get past matrix resurrections choosing to make neo someone with a distorted perception of reality being gaslit and manipulated into compliance by his therapist, i’m so normal about it

[rearranging-deck-chairs]

the amount of Friends Who Turned Out To Be Not What They Seemed between the s10 finale and the 14 specials is so sad, good luck trusting anyone ever again buddy

[girlyliondragon]

I wish I could selfship again.

I hate that I can't latch onto a character like I used to back then. Ex-'friends' hurt my ability to connect to characters on such a closely personal level so badly I'm straight up too scared to even try anymore bc hardly anyone understands outside the few oldest friends I (hopefully still) have.

My longest was three whole years, even me getting married to the character I selfshipped with and everything (it was one of those Cozy Games where you could date and marry an NPC character ala Stardew Valley-like, which helped the immersion, I felt actually married in my case), but then people made me feel ashamed to like the character for reasons I do not feel comfortable saying (lot of asspulling to put it lightly) to where I distanced myself from them, and then I couldn't get that close connection back again, I look at them and I just feel grief. Same with my last attempt here. Coercive ex from my last toxic "relationship" that I didn't even fucking want to begin with due to mental health tried to basically force me to "get over" my fictional attachments to focus on shitty real life as if that would fix me or at least make me happy as if a middle ground couldn't be had, which only hurt the mental thread more. Feel like had that not happened I'd actually be allowed to still heal in that regard. Bc I literally feel broken and empty otherwise so forever Fuck You with your "it's just fiction so get over it already" shit as if you thought you could fix me and my relationship with the unreal. I was literally fine. :/

I want to feel a closeness to fiction again. I really hate that the feelings I get for characters are so fleeting now when I want it to last longer. Past shit has really hurt there and idk how to get that back.

Like that link was broken ever since early 2023. The headspace I've tailored since I was 12 is just broken and it's been so hard to remake it anew. It really does hurt as someone who had been doing this since I was very young, now it's like I can't to the degree I did then anymore.

But moreso than anything it fucking pisses me off.

[blue-mood-blue]

There is a lesson to be taken from Peter Nureyev's life so far, and it can be summed up with a handful of words, easy to recall:

Eventually, everything falls away.

It sounds pessimistic. It isn't; it's solely pragmatism that has Nureyev repeating the phrase in his quiet moments, his peaceful moments. It is an important concept to remember if he wants to survive with any small sliver of himself held intact. Eventually, whatever he holds in his hands will crumble into dust. Eventually, the places he leaves behind will fade and bleed into watercolor nonsense, not worth looking back on. Eventually, he will be alone again. So go the tides: anything given will eventually recede.

Eventually, he has to wake up.

He did on Mars. Not quickly, not all at once, and not with nothing to show for his time - but the treasured and fragile something that Nureyev held onto through handcuffs, through a card game, on a train, in a tomb... that was gone, and it was only what he'd come to expect. It was no great surprise. He opened his eyes to gentle sunlight, a cold bed, and told himself so. No great surprise. It all ends somewhere.

The Carte Blanche is sturdier than most. The halls stay the same, and the people do, too, and its happiness - traitorous, dangerous happiness that always carries just a tinge of unease because that's the warning knell of things that can't be trusted - is grounded by the small dissatisfactions and imperfections that make it real. Vespa sneers, he argues with Juno, he bleeds from his injuries and feels every pinprick of the stitches, and all of it adds to the evidence that he's been dealt a good hand instead of just very good dreams. It's reality, he thinks. It's tangible, he tells himself, reaching out to run gentle fingertips along the edge of Juno's hair, coaxing a surprised smile.

It can't last. It can't stay.

Nureyev... can't stay.

"What happens when I wake up in the morning and all of this is gone?" Nureyev isn't sure why he asks it. He doesn't like the expression the words put on Juno's face, and he can follow the line of Juno's thoughts - all the way to the wrong conclusion.

"It won't be." He's finally stopped apologizing, finally taking Nureyev's word that he doesn't need to anymore even though Nureyev isn't sure that Juno really believes him yet. "I'll be here, along with all the rest of it." He smiles. "And probably Rita hammering on our door because we overslept."

"But will I be here?" Nureyev doesn't ask until hours after Juno's fallen asleep. He already knows the answer. And he waits, hands held loose around a future he is already losing.

[doomgay]

you know its bad when something that's been eating at me for weeks has begun to infiltrate the otherwise sacred realm of my dreams

[theendofmybody]

once again can't sleep because I'm thinking of all the ways the x files could have been a better show. alas

[blujaydoodles]

hair sketches... to be honest I think I made it a little too wavy, especially the ponytail, but I still like these 😌

[vitasexualiiis]

fukuchi and fukuzawa’s friendship hits different when you’ve had a toxic obsessive teenage besties situationship with a lowkey narcissist

[elegyofthemoon]

HI HAZE I hope ur having a better day today!! ;w; i love you! /pl

hey nick! days just starting while im answering this. truthfully things still kinda feel like a dream - yesterday at least felt like it, but trying very hard to manage between responsibilities and trying to reconnect with myself/doing things i like

though today there are some stuff i need to get done bc i dont think ill have time to focus on them this weekend. so just gotta push a little harder 👍🏼

[jeanstapleton]

irt that theory i also kinda...dont want it to be something completely metatextual like watching an ep & then suddenly transitioning to an external character writing the actual story would have as much of an impact as "woah it was all a dream!!". i do want the fabric of reality to have intentionally been tugged at by the characters themselves. humans in the fargo universe are average joe schmoes but like anyone else we have the power to shape our own reality, & fargo just takes that a step further with its gothic storytelling; the unavoidable feeling of being watched or judged or even ignored by a higher power, and the desperation that comes from that. i also agree with the rule of three & the idea of dot, munch, & gator having three mandatory choices ahead of them once their arcs reach their conclusion since it emphasizes the importance of autonomy that much more. just without the idea of things looping back like funny games. the ticket number in the court scene with danish had 313 on it to start with, so in my opinion, munch & dot will fully examine their three choices, while gator in his narrow-mindedness will choose one.

[etherbonded]

oh third sem with my goro is a thought and a half because holy shit !! goro would be pissed if his protag accepted maruki's deal !! And what makes things more interesting? I think Mukuro and Maruki (p5) would combine forces to create the reality too. Additionally, the thought of the previous generation of PTs ( aka AS ) noticing that something's off and finding out about the Marukis' (p5) reality??

i have so many thoughts....