#Uh if you're wondering: the name of my FNAF 3 guard is Susanna (Susie) Campbell
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makerofmadness · 2 years ago
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@umbrarkzoo felt like you'd wanna be tagged in this so you can see dndnndndnd ('cus I know you like these)
Anyway I felt like posting incorrect FNAF quotes again here ya go (under the cut)
may accidentally repeat a quote from a past post 'cus I've made too many to keep track of and it's been a while ok-
quotes taken from the Perchance generator, I just insert the characters in manually if I find something I can work with
One quote features my hc version of the FNAF 3 guard (maybe I'll post more about that someday I just wanted to use her for one quote).
Toy Freddy: I need a long word.  Toy Bonnie: T-rex but the long one.
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Jeremy Fitzgerald: How do you do that?  Michael Afton: I'm fearless.  Fritz Smith: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad.  Michael Afton: I'm mostly fearless. 
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Golden Freddy: Slash gamemode creative.  Freddy: Dude, this isn't Min-  Golden Freddy: *starts levitating* 
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Funtime Freddy: Okay, two person huddle.  Bon-Bon: You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug.  -
Toy Chica: You're pathetic!  Toy Bonnie: You're pathetic-er!  The Puppet: You're both losers.
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Michael Afton: Can you name a single city in Oklahoma?  Ennard: Oklahoma City, bitch! 
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Jeremy Fitzgerald: Let’s watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl.  Fritz Smith: Okay.  Jeremy Fitzgerald: And make out during the scary parts.  Fritz Smith: Th-  Fritz Smith: The scary parts.  Fritz Smith: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl. 
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Monty, tearing up the room: Where are they?  Monty looking under a pillow: Who moved them? Who moved my children?  Monty: Somebody moved my M&M's, and now I am going to start killing.
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Michael Afton: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?  Helpy: Lefty, probably.  (insert lawsuit joke here)
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Roxy: If I'm extra sarcastic with you it probably means I'm flirting with you or you really annoy me and I can't handle your crap... have fun figuring out which one. 
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Funtime Freddy in a horrible German accent: Bill Nye is on break, I'm Bill Nein.  Michael Afton: Can I go to the bathroom?  Funtime Freddy, in the same horrible German accent: Nein! 
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Roxy: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere...  Gregory: Only as their rodeo clown. 
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Michael Afton: WHO THE FUCK-  Helpy: Whoa, language!  Michael Afton: I speak fucking English!  Henry Emily: ... 
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Crying Child: I wanna sleep for 40 hours.  Michael Afton: You know that's called a coma, right?  Crying Child:  Crying Child: That sounds so refreshing, I could totally go for a light coma right now. 
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Michael Afton: I only have 6 weeks left to live.  Jeremy Fitzgerald: Oh my god, really?!  Michael Afton: It's just a guesstimate based on the choices I've made.
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Circus Baby: You use humor to deflect your trauma.  Michael Afton: Awww, thanks-  Circus Baby: That’s not a good thing.  Michael Afton: All I’m hearing is that you think I’m funny.
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Michael Afton: Susie, you're my best friend.  FNAF 3 Guard: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend.  FNAF 3 Guard: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!
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Michael Afton: Hey guys, today my brother pushed me, so I'm starting a kickstarter to put him down.  Michael Afton: The benefits of killing him are that I would get pushed way less. 
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Michael Afton, making coffee: This is going to fix everything. 
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Daycare Attendant: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance?  Roxy: No.  Gregory: No.  Daycare Attendant: Didn't think so. 
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Jeremy Fitzgerald, talking about Ennard: Is this a friend of yours, Mike?  Michael Afton: Kind of? Not really. They're in my life and there's nothing I can do about it. 
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Michael Afton: *trying to buy a Father's Day card at Hallmark*  Michael Afton: Excuse me, do you have any that just say "You are my dad?"  Associate: Well, I-  Michael Afton: How about "You banged my mom?"  Associate: No...  Michael Afton: You know what, I'll just get a blank one.  Michael Afton: *writes* You are a father. This is a day. Here is a card. 
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Sun: Hopefully Roxanne has learned a lesson about respecting other people's feelings.  Roxy: Oh, shut up and die Sun.
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Fritz Smith: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.  Jeremy Fitzgerald: *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to his knees and sob while apologizing profusely*  Fritz Smith: That one. I want that one.
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Glamrock Freddy: Vanessa, is that legal?  Vanessa: When there's no cops around, anything's legal!
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Toy Chica: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism.  The Puppet: And you came to me? 
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William Afton: What goes up but never comes down?  Michael Afton: The amount of stress you're bringing this family. 
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Gregory: I wish I could control wasps and bees to sting my enemies.  Glamrock Freddy: You’re too young to have enemies.  Gregory: You don’t even know. 
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Vanessa: Here are two pictures. one of them is your room, and the other is the garbage dump.  Monty: *points at a picture* That one is the dump.  Vanessa: tHEY'RE BOTH YOUR ROOM!  -
Funtime Freddy: The time to act is now.  Funtime Freddy: Wink, wink.  Circus Baby: Don't say "wink wink". Just wink.  Funtime Freddy: Oh, sorry.  Funtime Freddy: Wink. 
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Vanessa: Where are my fucking keys?  Glamrock Freddy: Officer Vanessa, Gregory is around, can you say it a little nicer?  Vanessa: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING KEYS?! 
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Gregory: Good morning. As you begin your day, remember that violence is always an option and often the answer.  Glamrock Freddy:  Gregory:  Glamrock Freddy: ...Please, go back to bed. 
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Michael Afton: Hey Mr. Emily, do you have any hobbies?  Henry Emily: Swimming..  Michael Afton: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to-  Henry Emily: In a pool of self hatred and regret. 
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Michael Afton: So I have made the decision to trust you.  Circus Baby: A horrible decision, really. 
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Ennard: You should have realised, Eggs Benedict, if the scooper didn't kill you, we would.
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