#Ughhhh it's just like. Inside thoughts shouldn't always be made outside statements

[edwardallenpoe]

EXACTLY this

But ALSO

I've seen a lot when talking to acquaintances and even strangers that because I'm fat and black they'll try to uplift me and try to affirm my femininity. Like, "I know it must be hard at your size, I totally understand, but you got this girl, you're as pretty as anyone else!!!" Like. Thank you.?????? you could just. Say I'm pretty.

That's the struggle, right? I'm GNC, and I'm fat, and I'm black with natural hairstyles (Afro, cornrows, now Locs, all of which are gender neutral), so I don't try to adhere to white gender norms and so no one compliments me because I'm not what they want, but the people that do compliment me is trying to encourage me and be hyper-accepting while completely missing the mark.

I don't need a congratulations. I don't need to be told I'm "woman enough" or I'm "just so brave" because I'm fat and have a natural hairstyle in public. I've accepted who I am. I LIKE who I am. stop making assumptions about my self esteem. Just say you like my style.

It's just, like op said, people make assumptions about people's gender expression based on the shapes and colors of your body even though those things inherently have nothing to do with it. When people see me, they see a butch lesbian, which I am, because that's how I present, but they also assume I'm cis and because I'm fat I must be insecure and secretly want to be feminine and just resorted to masculinity because of bullying and I'm miserable. STOP. DOING. THAT.

Me personally?? If I see someone, all I'm assuming is that they're wearing clothes they put on their body to be in public and that is ALL. I don't know how they identify!!!! I don't know what their perception of femininity and masculinity is!!! Until they tell me "hey, I consider myself x/y/z" I'M NOT ASSUMING SHIT

ok but racism and fatphobia in the queer community is crazy btw. Like sometime you gotta ask,

Are they butch/masc or are they a poc? Are they fem or are they white? Are they androgynous or are they skinny? Is their hair style choice non conforming or is it just not straight/fluffy? Honestly sometimes I see some strange things being said up in here, and irl too. I just. Idk mann