#UGHHHH im in mourning all over are you serious

[satoruxx]

… are you saying i was actually a widow the whole time???

[cloudcountry]

I wanted to ask why you hated Idia so much back then and the reason you adore him?

im gonna start telling people to pay me whenever they ask why i hate(d) idia because ive got this question easily 20 different times and frankly i'm losing money by not accepting payment

im not writing all that again i'm so tired of explaining it over and over ughhhh its not your fault min its just i seem to be a skipping record with how often i've had to repeat the same thing over and over and over for a YEAR and people just KEEP ASKING like ok you want to know about my relationship with idia shroud PAY UP!!!!!

anyways...i havent written about the things i adore about him yet so...

first first first!! the thing that made me gasp the softest gasp i have ever gasped in my life when i first saw it...his pink hair. its a bit superficial i guess but now that i like idia i think he's stunning. he's so hauntingly beautiful, especially when he's just a little bit flustered and the tips of his hair turn pink. what i would do to see his whole head turn pink PLEASE.

i also think his smile is so silly, even though it's usually accompanied by his smug ass voice "should'a leveled up more!" SHUT UP!!!!! i love his sharp teeth theyre so goofy nd silly but in a cute way. honestly i think his scowl is cute too, idk maybe i just like his lips but watching them twist up in annoyance when he rolls his eyes is attractive to me dont ask i dont know either. does that say something about me? maybe. i'm content with not knowing.

onto less superficial things...i just finished reading book six yesterday and it struck me how idia's heart is genuinely so beautiful. he loves so gently and fully, but with devotion that would destroy the world if he let it loose. being loved and treasured by idia is a privilege, because once he lets you in he would do anything for you (just dont fuck it up or i will beat you up im being so serious LEAVE HIM ALONE)

the extent to which he cares for ortho is so beautiful and so heartbreaking. "leave it to your big bro" im dead. everything he does is for ortho to have a safe and fulfilling life and honestly...it kind of seems like idia is trying to pay ortho back in a sense? like you died (because of me), now i will spend the rest of my life mourning you as punishment. he wants to give him the best life possible and thats just so ourgourgouhgohou,,,, his grieving is so complex and yet its so simple. heartbreaking i tell you.

on a lighter note, he's very passionate about the things he's into as well. one thing about figuring our how to like idia was turning my reaction to his condescending jabs from "oh he's such a know it all bitch what the hell people are literally just indulging in his interests what is wrong with him?" TO "oh he's just excited and getting an adrenaline rush, it's going to his head. he's happy. :)" and that was absolutely growth on my part because. ok AUBURN LORE TIME but i used to have a friend who was very condescending and a HUGE know it all (irl IRL IRL) and i think they definitely impacted how i saw idia because i saw bits of them in him. and since they hurt me so much i projected my experiences with them onto idia, so the first time i met him in game i wrote him off immediately and hated him after i saw what he said to others and how he acted.

but one of the many problems with that approach was that i missed the gentler sides of him. the way he goes back to school for ortho. the way he powers through the masquerade social for ortho. his idea of yuu being "valuable emotional support." his love of cats, regardless of how bad he scared grim. his love of star rogue and the way he made the sequel actually happen, albiet unintentionally. i spent so much time resenting him because "of course he's just another one of those." that i didn't stop to notice anything about him except for those bad moments. and of course, i'm not ignoring them now, i just see them differently. i see him differently.

of course i love that he's relatable, and that he's smart, and i love how when he's comfortable he loses his filter and becomes idia shroud instead of just being Scared of them, but i think that's just. social anxiety. and yk what ive said this before but even when i hated him i would NOT stand for anyone coming for his anxiety. like yeah i hate idia shroud but BITCH GET AWAY FROM HIM. YOU DONT KNOW WHAT ANXIETY IS LIKE!!! put me in nrc right now idia shroud needs someone who will yell at people for him and thats going to be ME. i dont care who you are you say shit you are earning my IRE. trey clover got yelled at. no one is safe.

can i just say i love how you said "reason" like there's only one JDSJSDJSD LMAO IDK IT WAS JUST FUNNY TO ME when i love someone i have multiple reasons and i love every part of them, even the bad annoying icky parts (in fact, if you can't love their bad parts too is it even love...? i dont know, we all have different definitions anyway. some might think tolerating their bad parts is love too and we'd both be right.) theres no one reason i just think he's lovely inside and out now. he's an angel, basically.

[blog-in-a-corner]

TSOTBL - Plight

YALL IM SO SORRY THIS IS COMING OUT LATE SJFHFNJ

Kim couldn't stop thinking about the cave system behind the library. It was so very intriguing, she could explore it all day. Unfortunately she couldn't, as Lucinda and Aaron didn't let anyone go inside, for everyone's safety of course.

“Hmph it's not fair, that cave is so cool and I can't even explore it….” Kim moped, body flopped over the couch. “Aww c'mon Kim, there's still the library...!” Garroth reminded, trying to lighten her up. “True, true, but still…” Kim mumbled, bummed out. “Maybe when we're done with the lodge, we can go somewhere you'd like.” Garroth suggested. “I just wanna go back home. To my rock collection, my tamagotchis, and my two frogs, Peanut and Tater Tot…” “Don't worry Kim, we'll all be home soon.” “Yeah... what are you gonna do right now anyway?” “I think I'm going to go and read my book right now.” “Again? I mean, I understand how addicting a good book can be, but you've been spending hours in your room reading for the past few days now. Sometimes it feels like I don't see you unless we all eat, or have to clean.” “Stop nagging me about it geez! There's nothing to do here, so what if I spend most of my time reading a book? It’s just something I really like, why is that such a problem?!” Garroth snapped at Kim, defending himself. “Hey I was just saying! Geez, I….I didn't mean to make you upset, I'm sorry…” Kim trailed off, feeling bad. “Ahh erm, no I'm sorry. I'm just used to people.…point is I'm sorry! I shouldn't have snapped at you that way, it was uncalled for.” “Ah it's all fine, maybe I'll give that book of yours a read! Judging by how much you like it I'm sure it must be good!” “Oh, um, sure… I'll let you give it a read….I guess...but I'll give it to you when I'm done with it because you read faster than I do!” “Oh yeah true. Well I guess I'll see ya later then?” “Yeah sure.” Garroth said, walking to the stairs. “Well, I guess it's just you and me couch.” Kim said to herself, slowly dozing off on the couch, as everyone else were in their own rooms.

Aphmau was by herself in her room, lying down on her bed, contemplating and reminiscing.

“Urghh Kim's not happy with me...she probably thinks I didn't talk to Zane about the whole being mean thing. I can't just put Zane's feeling aside, and the Ro'meave family drama is not a can of worms I want to keep opening, but just….argh why do I have to be caught between this crap!” Aphmau sighed to herself, smacking a pillow on her face. “Then there's this whole Aaron thing! Are we broken up, are we not, do I still want him, does he still want me, ugh! It's all so frustrating! The only person I don't have any troubles with right now is Lucinda, and that's because Lucinda is the best at avoiding drama….even when it came to breaking up with Ivan, as ugly as the situation became she handled it better than I would have…”

Aphmau stared at the ceiling of her room, it was cracked, with some of the wood from under showing out. The years of the lodge were so very visible from just the wood alone.

“Drama, drama, drama...this is highschool crap. Why can't I just be friends with everybody instead of deal with all of this family drama and romance problems...I wish I could give up sometimes, but what kind of friend would that make me? To just give up when things get hard? Not a very good friend to say the least….” Aphmau thought to herself, sighing audibly. “What kind of friend am I being by letting all this drama slip through my fingers? I should just straighten up and handle this like an adult! Because guess what I am one! But...I don't know, Aaron wanted to get away from all the drama and I don't want to make things worse by accidentally creating tension between everybody, it's already enough that I'm here….ughhhh why Irene why!”

She slumped to her side and grabbed her phone. She began to look through her photos.

“Gosh, despite everything that happened way back in highschool, I still miss the days where I could just hang out. Whether it was spending hours playing video games with Garroth and Laurance while snacking on junk food, or binge-watching anime with Katelyn and Kawaii~chan. Now here I am with all of...this I guess. I shouldn't be so negative though, I had good times then, even when the whole Jury thing happened...if I had good times then, then I can have good times now! I just have to stay positive.” She sighed, in a sense of relief. “Now let's just...take a lil’ breather to not think about all this crap.” Aphmau muttered, as she flopped over on the bed.

Lucinda was fiddling with her wand, alone in her room, casting spells.

“Praefexero.” Lucinda muttered, waving her wand around the room. Magic twirled around the room, in various shapes and colors, it faded almost as soon as it came.

“Nothing...let me try one more time. Praefexero…!” once again magic made its way around the room, but it faded as it did before. “Nothing? Dammit Praefexero!” Lucinda shouted in frustration, this time the spell poofed into a cloud of smoke unlike the previous times. “Calm down Lucinda, calm down, getting frustrated just makes things worse…” She coughed, clearing the smoke with her hands. “I know there's something about this place there's gotta be! But I'm not getting any readings! This place isn't normal, that much I can guarantee!” She grumbled, putting her wand away. “Stupid magic, what good is being a prodigy if I can't even detect what the hell is wrong with this place...Kim's acting weird, the cave was full of all sorts of bad energy, Garroth's acting kinda off too but I don't know if it's anything serious or if he's just being dumb again, I haven't been able to sleep at all these past few days and just! Ughhhh!” Lucinda smacked her head against the wall, groaning in frustration. “I just want to go to sleep….or have some kind of shut eye at the very least…guess I'll have to just bear with it.” Lucinda looked down at her wand, it was a really simple wand. “I almost regret bringing this wand, I wish I didn't leave my better wand at home. Then again I didn't anticipate this shit to happen at all, I wasn't about to bring an incredibly expensive wand to some run down shit hole.” Lucinda sighed, slumping down on her bed.

________________________________________

Zane was walking down the stairs, heading to kitchen.

“Man I can't wait until I'm able to leave this stupid lodge.” Zane muttered to himself. “I've just about had it with all of this cleaning crap. Why couldn't they send professionals out here. Cheapskates.”

As Zane walked by he noticed Kim, fast asleep on the couch.

“Hmm only if I had a marker would I scribble on her face. But Aph would probably scold me.” Zane thought aloud, turning his attention back to the kitchen. “Guess I'll make myself a cup of coffee while I'm down here.”

Zane went over to the kitchen and set some water to heat.

“Huh? Where the hell did my coffee cup go? I put it in the cabinet...so help me if one of these neanderthals is using my coffee cup-” “Looking for this?” A voice said from behind him. “GAH WHAT THE-Kim?!” Zane yelled, spooked by Kim's sudden appearance. “What are you doing standing behind me-and why do you have my coffee cup?!” “I just found it.” Kim said rather blatantly, holding the coffee cup out in front of herself. “You better have not used it or I swear I'll-” “So how's Garroth?” Kim interrupted Zane bluntly, putting the coffee cup down, not seeming to care about Zane's coffee cup dilemma. “Wh-What? How the hell would I know?” Zane snapped. “You're his brother. I thought he was acting a bit...strange lately, and I'd figured you'd know why. “So what? That's just Garroth acting fucking stupid as per usual. Trust me the guy is fine. He couldn't be helped to feel anything else than an irritating happiness even if his life depended on it.” “Hm...that's what..I thought you would say.” “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” “No one….would be able to tell if you died, your blood runs cold all the time….” “Tch, you think I care?” “No. I...do not…” Kim replied, walking over to the sink in the kitchen. “Yet neither do I.” She said, grabbing a knife from the rack. “You really don't...know a person..until their dead. From there on out...you can learn everything about them. Though….being dead...is very...very unpleasant... especially if you just couldn't pass on…” “Yeahh...I, uh, guess so…” Zane said, weirded out by Kim's behavior. “Is... saving someone's life worth it? Or...is it meaningless to save someone who's fated to die regardless?” Kim asked, looking to Zane. “What a stupid question to ask, of course saving another person's life is worth it, there's nothing more valuable than allowing someone to live a longer life, so that none of their friends and family, would have to mourn them.” Zane replied, annoyed at the question. “So why...do you...provoke evil and bad karma?” Kim asked looking Zane dead in the eye. “What..?” “You…really don't get it do you?….” “Kim, what the hell are you saying?”

Kim coughed and shook her head, she then stretched lightly and yawned.

“Oh hey the water is ready.” Kim pointed at the bubbling water. “Uh are going to explain to me what the hell you just said?” Zane hissed. “I just said the water was ready take a chill pill geez.” “What-no! What you said before that!” “I didn't say anything before that I just woke up...well not just this moment. You know when you wake up and feel hazy for a while?” “That doesn't...yeah okay. Never-fucking-mind.” Zane told Kim, leaving the kitchen. “Geez what's his problem?” Kim mumbled, as he walked out of the room. “Gosh these blackouts are getting worse and worse, I don't even remember how I got here! Well….at least I can make myself some coffee.” Kim sighed, worried about her current predicament. “We'll be gone soon, then I'll be able to get myself checked out... hopefully.”

________________________________________

Garroth stood at the entrance to the cave, he gazed upon the structure.

“So this...this is it…” He muttered, picking up a stone that resembled the one he had given Kim the other day from the floor. “It...it only takes one…”