#UF!sans/reader

[desktopdinosaur]

Day 15 - Gaming

This is fanart of the fanfic “The skeleton games” by @theskeletongames and using @asya-7 vampire design!!

Again having fun experimenting with lighting

[indigo-skullz]

Fanart of my favorite fanfiction of all time “The Skeleton Games” by @theskeletongames

Also a parody of the manga cover “Go For It Nakamura!” just because I thought it fit really well xd

[yeosin-n]

Hi-hii! Um, can I give Fell a huggy? And then a random, well deserved teddy bear?

gonna snuggle it every night

[cloudyskydreams]

How they act when crushing UT,UF,US!

This one was fun I might do a part 2 eventually because I love how people change their behavior while crushing on someone think next is gonna be confession head canons or a drabble. Anyway requests are open! Just wanted to put that out there I love getting them ::> and I'm pretty open to writing most things I love getting different inspo from different people. Anyways I'm done rambling hope y'all enjoy!

Undertale: Sans: Trys to make you laugh as much as possible. He loves hearing your laughter and is super proud when he can get you to full on laugh with his shitty jokes. He's a daydreamer and often daydreams about you when it's slow at work or he's in bed alone. He won't admit how nice he sleeps when he sees you in his dreams. You motivate him to get out of bed easier on days he gets to see you so that's a plus

Papyrus: He likes to be around you as much as he can. Like doing menial things together?? Oh you have a doctor's appointment, sure why don't I come and we get lunch afterwards. He just likes spending time with you! "Accidentally" making too much food for meals so he has a reason to see you and make sure you're eating something.

Underfell:

Red: Heavy denial before reluctantly accepting. He's a flirty guy he thinks it's all fun and games until he's thinking about you at 3 am with a blush in his face imagining a future and doing cute relationship things with you. He knows he's fucked. He doesn't really believe someone would like him so from his perspective it's one sided attraction all the way and that hurts. He still flirts but it kinda hurts him inside too. Teasing himself with something he thinks he'll never have. He doesn't distance himself but he's a bit rougher maybe trying to scare you off a tad.

Edge: Denial worse than his brother. He doesn't have time for crushes or anything of the sort. It's improbable that he does like you that way anyways it's just a passing attraction he simply likes the way you say his name, and the way your legs look when you walk and stretch out, and oh … He's fucked. He'll continue to deny it to himself until someone ,most likely his brother or his version of Undyne, points it out. Then he's trying to hide it, trying to play it off. The passing touches he lets linger too long, how even though his days are scheduled he still somehow ends up running into you occasionally.

Underswap:

Stretch:We got another daydreamer and he's 50/50 with risque and wholesome daydreams. He finds any excuse to touch you and let's the touches linger. He's flirty and loves if you flirt back, kind of easy to fluster flushing a gorgeous marigold shade as he nye he he's. He invites you over for gaming or movie nights, wanting to share his interests with you and find some shared interests in shows and such. He definitely has written a song about you that he keeps hidden in a folder in his closet. There's a doodle of you on the back of the page and he's a little embarrassed of it.

Blue: He can tell when he likes someone like that he's pretty intune with his emotions. He likes to hang around you taking time out of his day and dedicating it specifically to you. He writes you little notes and reminders and hides them around your space to find, knows where you hide when you're sad and hides a bunch there. He blogs about you on occasion never mentioning your name but simply writing about you. He likes to find two player games for you two to play together mainly team working puzzle ones.

[llamagoddessofficial]

Rember that time you had a Hamilton phase?

LEAVE ME ALONE

[sillyunknownkitkat]

Undertale, Underswap, and underfell brothers react to a reader (platonic or not) that is hyper sexual

Mind that you're responsible for your own consumption, vague nsfw under the cut and sentive topics

No dni banner because there's nothing really explicit but it's implied

Undertale :

Sans

He noticed slight changes in your attitude before your crisis started. You were getting more and more bold, which is quite unusual for you.

Sans was worried for the few day you disappeared but understood that you may not want him to know about your problems. It didn't make him any less curious though.

It was a week after your first "symptoms" that he really got worried. So he went to your hiding place to confront you about it.

"Knock knock" Sans said, standing right in front of the bedroom's door.

"Sans?" You asked surprised and a bit panicked.

"S'not how the joke goes, kid. Knock knock." His tone wasn't particularly harsh, but he made it clear that he wasn't leaving. He used a tone that you had learned to interpret since knowing him.

"Who's there?" You said recluantly, you didn't want anyone to know about your bad habits

"Will." You thought for a bit, trying to guess the end of the joke but couldn't figure it out with your head still full of what's currently going on

"Will who?" Sans smiles a bit. Even in bad times, he still likes his jokes. It helps him relax a little.

"Will you open the door so we can talk face to face?"

So after putting on a sweatshirt and pyjama's pants, you get up and open the door.

"Hey.." You look down at his slippers.

"Hey, how 'bout we sit down and talk a bit, mh? M'not upset with you, just worried."

After you both settle down on the bed, you bring your knees to your chest and wait for him to start talking.

"Soooo, what's up, kiddo?"

Yeah... This is awkward for the both of you

So after you explained the things you were doing and how you felt while he patiently listened, he just asked you one thing.

"Is it because of a traumatic event you've been through?"

Now I let you decide what happened or not because everyone is different, but let's just say that if a person did something to make you feel that way, they're going to have a not so friendly chat with Sans.

Papyrus

Now, this cutie definitely didn't wait to ask you what was going on. I imagine him being autistic

So, while our pretty boy is definitely not stupid, I like to think he still struggles a bit with social clues. This means that he did ask you as soon as he noticed, but it might have taken quite a while.

Now, we all now Sans almost canonically struggles with depression so Paps can definitely help you a bit.

So, since no one can resist that cool face, you explained what was going on and let me tell you... That man was upset! Not at you but at the fact that you felt that way and he couldn't do anything about it. Not that it was his fault, but yk (*￣∇￣)ノ

Now he spent days telling you how amazing you were, how he loved you (platonically or not *wink wink*), and trying to get you attention on something else than your problem so you'd feel better.

Because you do. Not "maybe", you do 😭🔫😾

The cat is me, obviously 🙄

Underswap :

Blue (sans)

Might get hate on this one, but I think he struggles with hypersexuality too. I don't remember who's Au's it is, but there is one where he's popular on Instagram and where he's close friend with Viper (sf sans from that au which I use). So he knew what was going on before you told him.

Bb explained that he was like that, too, so you guys took care of each other :3

Like getting in comfy clothes, cooking a bit, cuddling, watching a movie, ... whatever you want!

And like spa treatments to echother too!

I'll probably write a part two for him in the future because, like this scenario + him, it's just ✨️perfect✨️

Stretch (us papyrus)

Even tho he's younger than blue, he still took care of his brother and therefore knew what was going on too. So when he sees you, he just picks you up with his magic, drags you to the couch, and pretty much instantly falls asleep on you. Well, he's not really sleeping, but you don't know that.

After a while, you start to cry silently because you feel kind of disgusting. Stretch cling to you a tiny bit harder and starts to purr "in his sleep" to try and console you.

Yes, skeletons purr, don't ask me why or how.

Anyway, after a while of being soothed, you fall asleep, and Stretch is smiling like an idiot because he managed to help you even the tiniest bit.

After both of you wake up, he goes to ask Blue what he can do to help you and apply with the wtv he tells him.

Blue might even join to talk to you a bit :)

Underfell :

Red (uf sans)

He knew what was going on but didn't want to bother you with it. The man already knows how hard it is when you're going through tough times.

So he kinda let you be but sometimes he comes buy and offer you to do some things.

It's not in a really nice way but not rude either, just a bit rough, I guess

He was like, "How 'bout you do something instead of just lying there, huh?"

He is not an asshole. He just grew up in a difficult world and therefore kinda has a stick stuck up in his non-existent ass.

If you don't move, he'll literally drag you out of bed and sit you on the couch with a movie already picked paused on the TV.

If you talk about it, he'll listen and suggest things that might help you, but if you don't, he'll do whatever he can while being "subtle."

Edge (uf papyrus)

He catched you crying when he opened the door of your bedroom to ask you to come downstairs since dinner was ready. Now Edge is by no means a cruel person, but he had to do things to survive in the underground. I like to think that when they all got out, he and Red cut links with most of the other monsters.

So now he got quite a lot softer, but it's still Edge, so don't expect too much.

He sat down next to you and brung a hand to your back (a bit awkwardly, but the man is learning people)

"I'M HERE IF YOU NEED TO TALK." he told you in the softest voice he could manage to get out (it wasn't soft, but since you know him and how he talked you understood that he was trying)

Same as his brother, if you talk, he'll listen, but he might be a bit more insistant with his advice. Again, not in a rude way, just in his way of saying thing.

If you don't, he'll probably get a little offended that you don't trust him even after he tried his best to be soft but still understands why you may not want to talk about your problems.

Not verified afterwards, sorry ;^;

So this is it :) it's a bit shitty ngl but I tried my best.

Kinda self indulge, honestly, but I'm better now so dw

If you have a similar problem or even another one, my dm's are opened, don't stay alone in your misery.

I might not answer right away (I live in Western Europe), but I will as soon as I can

Have a good day/night, and be safe, everyone. <3

[sir-gale]

[savi-our]

Thinking about UF Sans or Red whos so gruff and mean, a dude who gives and takes to shits, a guttural and deep snarl to his tone as he drives away all who get too close, not that anyone is really inclined to get anywhere near him, his loom and doom making anyone keep their distance.

His one only weakness - pretty little humans.

Hes soft on them, so fucking soft on them its ridiculous. His crimson eyelights pick them out across the bar or any other hole in the wall place he haunts. His hum almost pleased as he takes notice. His approach is slow, but forward, careful to not scare them - conscious of his tone, a deep sultry to his words as he shoots them a one liner.

Hes like a battle torn bear that is sweet on his honey, hes mindful, careful not to push, despite how much he wants to touch you - envelop you, taste you. Hes protective, driving anyone who ever had the thought in approaching you away but not stopping you from leaving if youre so inclined. But hes crafty, witty - turns up the charm straight to 11, eager to please you, to have you.

Hes big and bad, a wolf, and hes hungry - starving, greedily drinking you in, drowning in your attention, it makes him purr.

Thinking about Red whos soft for a pretty little thing in a crowd, his rough fingers twitching in his pockets, his grin sharp. Even if you dont pay him any mind he wont let anyone touch you, he wont bother you neither, satisfied to watch you glow in the dim bar lighting...

[marigoldsandbuttercups]

maybe s/o seems quiet, calm and even shy at times, but it turns out that they used to work as a stripper and they were super famous and made a lot of money. s/o stopped because they were afraid that because of their non-standard work, the skellies would want to leave s/o. For Ut, Us and Uf.

love your blog☺️

Woah That's A Cool Job, Bro

(Why thank ya, friend. I really appreciate that 💖)

Sans: "huh," he starts out, and doesn't really elaborate much on it. You can hear him chuckle as he watches you try to figure out just what he meant by that. And as much as he would like to admire the way your face looks as you think, he knows this is a serious topic. He takes your hand, touch as gentle as the wind itself before pulling you just a little closer to him.

What? Can't a guy have a nice cuddle whilst talking about his relationship?

It's easy for him to disarm you, to have you relax because he really doesn't want you to feel like you're walking on eggshells around him. He looks calm as ever as you explain but you know better, from the way his touches linger on you and how his eyelights never stray from you. When it's his turn to speak, Sans isn't really much for words, but he makes it known that he's always rooting for you. Once he's in love, he's all in, and he will always show that, one way or another.

Papyrus: Not offended in the least bit. If anything, he would have a deep fascination with your job and how you work. He's into it, the flair, the dramatics, the legs! He thinks it's Very Cool™. Papyrus isn't one to really judge people by their personality, especially when he's had experience of people doing the same to him. Sure, he'd be surprised but it's more so good surprise because... He wants to know more about you, after all.

He'd also be surprised when you express your fear to him, understanding that the way humans and monsters view certain things differently is very much at play here. Papyrus also doesn't care how long you've been together, if it's something you wanna do, he's ready to support you and you will never experience any judgement from him. (Your workouts are gonna be super fun btw, he had Plans™)

Blue: After you tell him, he kinda just... Goes quiet for a bit. It worries you, rightfully so as you find it hard to properly discern his expression. But he moves a step closer to you and holds your hands, first assuring you that you never have to be afraid to tell him anything. Blue would want to make it known as soon as possible that he will be by you no matter what, your safe space, your pillow to fall on.

But he also assures you that he trusts you, anything you want to do is for you to choose but he will support it so long as you're safe and happy. That's all that really matters to him in the end since, well, it's one of the reasons he fell for you anyway, the fact that it's you. (Also would probably point out the pretty outfits you have and if you'd model for him-)

Stretch: Definitely do not tell him while he's eating or drinking because he will choke. He would then panic and say he didn't choke because he was angry or anything like that, he was just... Very surprised. And he is! He just gets extremely flustered at the idea of you doing literally anything (boy is whipped I tell ya). It takes him a while to completely articulate his thoughts because he wants to tell you that's so cool but also wants to tell it's okay and that you're so awesome and-

There's a lot going through his mind, and you're sat there in dumbfounded silence as you watch the orange hue begin to cover his entire skull. But! He does eventually gather his thoughts and tells you that.. Hey, he thinks you're an amazing person and he's loved you far too long for anything like that to get in the way. He trusts you, and he hopes you trust him as much.

Red: "that's hot-" and he stops upon seeing your face and chuckles. He holds his hands up in defense before moving a little closer once you're a little more relaxed. He starts small, holding your hand before explaining what the culture is like from where he is. He's not the best with words, but Red does succeed in getting his message across, that being:

It is your life, you have the right to decide what you wanna do and what you don't wanna do. But whatever it is you choose to do, he's got your back, no matter how "out there" it is or whatever. You want it? You got it and Red will absolutely make sure that you can depend on him for supporting you. (still will tell you it's hot af tho)

Edge: You think he's judging you but really that's just his resting face. He's a little surprised by the fact that you're so... Unsure of telling him. He voices this concern, because to him, these kinds of things were rather normal in the underground. Whatever it was, as long as it was a means to survive. He takes this a little too seriously, not that it is a bad thing, but it can be rather daunting when he's staring you down as you're both seated on your couch.

And the whole thing kinda... Makes you laugh a little.

Perhaps from how nervous you are, from how overly invested Edge is, but.. it's.. Touching. He's rightfully confused, and huffs when he finds out why, feeling a little shy.(but you would never catch him admitting that lmao). The dramatics only last for a while before you gather your thoughts and explain and Edge is.. Very gentle about it. It's one of those moments that make you understand just why you fell for him, how he makes sure that you understand that he would never, ever judge you for that. He respects you, and he will respect the choices you make as long as you're okay.

[yeosin-n]

let me give you some chocolates 😈

& someone random i GUESS

[cloudyskydreams]

I love the way you write for the sanses. I'd love it so so much if you could do the same genre SFW and NSFW headcanons for swap and fell sans too, thank you!!!

Of course!! Took me a bit to get on these but I have prevailed against my lack of motivation woo✨ I really enjoyed writing these honestly they're so fun to me. As always hope y'all enjoy!

✨SFW✨:

Red:

•Reds a clingy guy at home and in public. He likes being close to you and he's a tad possessive because he didn't think he'd ever actually be able to get with someone and you're the perfect someone in his eyes, he can't lose you.

•He seeks you out for comfort often because he doesn't have a lot of coping mechanisms. Just a very disgruntled or upset red coming over to you and hiding his face in your shirt as he clings to you. Only at home of course, he'll cling to your hand in public or get some kisses for that sweet sweet physical reassurance.

•As I've mentioned before Red loves to read and when he gets over his embarrassment of you seeing him in his glasses he'd love to read to you if you'd let him. He used to with Edge when he was little and he's always enjoyed reading to other people and giving the characters their own unique voices.

•Hes a big guy so when he's cuddling and doesn't want you to get up he'll pin you underneath him. Uses his size against you definitely wether that be pinning you down or simply blocking your path if he doesn't want you to leave.

•Real easy to fluster this man he's all for flirting and being a hornball but cannot handle it being thrown back in huge amounts. He's not used to people actually wanting him.

•He does like to spoil you, he doesn't have hella money but he'll buy you nice things or things you want.

•He definitely steals small things of yours occasionally larger items like clothing. He hoardes small knickknacks he's gotten of yours over your time together and refuses to admit that's what he's doing even though he has just a small pile of your stuff in his underwear drawer of the dresser.

Blue:

•He likes to take care of the stuff around the house for you. Of course he likes a little help but he doesn't mind doing a few chores or being the main cook in the house if it makes life easier on you!

•Absolutely blogs about you, Blue is a big blogger and he has a whole blog dedicated specifically to ranting about you and how much he loves you, he doesn't mention you by name and has a silly codename for you.

•He loves matching couple things, he's definitely made you matching bracelets and has gotten matching keychains that represent you guys to have of each other. He thinks it's super cute and just loves matching with you.

•He makes a lot of gifts for you. He likes creating things with his hands so he'll make you stuff like little paper flowers bouquets and flower crowns when you're at the park.

•He loves going out for dates and trys to plan one atleast once a week, he's fine with just hanging around the house and doing stuff but he'd love to take you to the arcade or amusement park or a cute little cafe.

•Your interests are now his interests, or he'll try to get into them at least! If it's not his type he's more than willing to listen to you rant and keep up with specific people or characters just for you. Him seeing a little tidbit of info on something you're interested in and feeling so proud to tell you about it.

🍋NSFW🍋:

RED:

•Has the biggest praise kink, he's into degrading too just not as heavily, he loves being told how good he's doing and how hot he looks.

•Hes a switch with no real preference, loves fucking into you as well as being fucked.His favorite position is doggy style so he can play with your ass while he's fucking you.

•He's got a husky ectobody, his ecto-cock is 6.3 inches and a girth of about 5.6 inches. His femme body has double d cup tits which he's very proud of and a apple shape figure, he has a red outtie pussy that's gapes just slightly from past usage.

•Red loves toys using on him or you. He loves to have his ass or pussy stuffed full and teased with vibrators and all sorts of dildos and plugs. He has a collection that he'll bust out first chance he gets. He loves teasing you with them too, stuffing you full with a vibrator and watching you get off on it.

•On that last bit he's a vouyer so he absolutely LOVES watching you get off with his toys, he even does one of those make a dildo things with his own cock so he can watch you fuck yourself with it.

•Is into anal giving or receiving. He's pretty good at taking it and even has a few butt plugs he'll wear around occasionally. He'd love to get you your own if you'd be into it and he'd definitely tease you with it if you decided to wear it for him one day.

BLUE:

•Blue's a huge tease and he uses his innocent face to try and get away with it when he can. He'll "brush" past you feeling you up stealthily or whisper in your ear how hard he's going to fuck you and in what position and then just look at you with them big blue eyelights and adorable smile.

•He leans towards top and dom mostly but has no problem bottoming or letting you take the reigns. His favorite position is spread eagle he likes being able to look into your eyes and it gives him easy access to your neck and chest for bites.

•Blue's a biter, not just during cuddles but also during sex. His teeth aren't the sharpest but his canines have an edge to them and he loves sinking his teeth into your plush body and leaving marks. It drives him crazy if you show them off he's so proud of them.

•He's got a little chub to his ectobody but not as much as the other sans as he does have a regular workout routine he's pretty good at keeping up with. His ecto-cock is about 5.2 inches and about 5.9 inches in girth. His femme body is a triangle body shape and he has b cup tits. He has a light blue innie pussy.

•He really enjoys roleplay and his favorite so far is royalty and faithful knight/bodyguard. He likes seeing you dressed up in costumes for you and owns a bunch for both him and you to wear.

•Temperature play is a big thing receiving and giving. Imagine teasing his little clit with a icecube or running it up his cock length as he twitches underneath you gasping and moaning. Or him teasing you as he rubs them across your nipples and down your stomach watching the ice melt on your warm flesh.

[mylittlecrushes]

Hey Undertale Fandom,

I'm searching for someone who would like to RPG a bit with me together ^^

Just DM me "-"

German and English is fine for me :}

[fatsans]

Petnames Sans has

Kid / Kiddo - It’s the original, it’s classic, it’s Sans. Who else would it be? It's also kinda a nasty habit. Everyone has been kid. And regardless of your age, you're stuck with the name now. He really should get around to changing it, but he just...hasn't yet. He doesn't use it much anyways. And it's not like you aren't special - you are - but maybe that's more of the point he's trying to make. Sans knows you, as you, not anything else. The nickname just seems too shallow, when he could just call you by your name. That seems much more special to him.

Angel - Regardless if you are the same human that fell into the Underground or not, you SAVED him, from…well Swap isn’t sure. Life wasn’t that bad before, but it wasn't great either. He really, wholeheartedly, and truly, feels like you are heaven-sent. An angel. His angel. You just must be someone special sent just for him. You always appreciate his riddles (even if you can't solve them) and you indulge in some of his hobbies. But the best part is, you always seem to be willing to accept his help, actually, you ask for it sometimes. Aside from his brother, Swap isn't sure he knows many people who appreciate him in this way. It makes him feel good. It makes life feel good. You make him feel good,

Sweetheart - Listen, do not go around thinking Fell like…likes this. Ok. Got it! Good....now that that's out of that way.............you're just his special little human! So sweet and precious! In these private, special moments, you get to see him in a different light. He lets down some of those walls that had been painstakingly built over the years and you get to enjoy the sticky gooey center that exists underneath that hard shell of his. Really, Fell's very sweet but has a hard time showing it, so think of this name as a reflection of his true feelings for you.

[saltedpeppermintmocha]

MONSTERS DON'T DO BACKGROUND CHECKS - 1/?

-UFSans x Reader

Summary: Moving across the country and starting your life anew on the basis of a rumour may not be the smartest thing you've ever done...but, well, you're here.

If only you could stop running into that asshole skeleton, life would be pretty good.

Tags: underfell au, bara Sans, afab reader, enemies to lovers, fluff, eventual romance, eventual smut, slow burn, swearing, alcohol, smoking, past abuse, plot

Notes: I figured I might as well play around with sharing this one on tumblr too! Don't know if it'll get any interest here (I've never posted a fic on tumblr) but thats okay either way. This is currently on Ao3 with 10 chapters and 75k words, so its a long one folks.

Chapter 1: Monster Don't Do Background Checks

The building looms above you, and you wonder (not for the first time) if you are making a mistake. 

Okay. You take in a deep breath and count to ten. One shot at this. I got this.

Fake it till you make it, right?

Pushing open the surprisingly heavy glass door, you walk in. It takes you a few moments to adjust to the sudden LED-lighted lobby. The first thing that catches your eye -and how could it not - is the giant fountain in the middle of the room. It’s huge, with water spraying out in all directions. A robotic statue stands tall in the middle, water spraying from each of its four arms. An attention-grabber, for sure.

Despite its opulence, the lobby itself is quiet. A few monsters litter about, and it takes you a concentrated effort not to stare. Shit. They are huge . Instead, you focus your eyes on the reception desk in the far left corner and start towards it, ignoring the feeling of multiple pairs of eyes watching your every moment. 

There is nobody behind the desk, which feels a bit odd. You check your phone, confirming the time. It’s correct. Maybe you’re a little early, but that's a good thing…right? Shit. Maybe it’s not for monsters. Who knows. Standing on your tiptoes, you lean slightly against the counter in an attempt to see around it. Nothing. Huh. 

For a moment you can’t help but flounder, feeling awkward as more monsters in the lobby turn to face you. Then your eyes catch on something shiny further down the counter. A reception bell. Oh. Do you need to ring it? 

You slam your hand down on it, only after the chime starts considering that maybe you should have paused a second before just going forward. In some places, ringing the bell could be considered rude, right? Definitely not the impression you’re trying to give. But just waiting here seems dumb too. You’d risk losing your nerve.

And well, that’s just not an option. This is your option. This is your fresh start. 

“Welcome to MTT Resort! Ebott’s biggest apartment-building-turned hotel!” 

Fuck! You startle harshly at the voice, turning on your heel to find the speaker. It comes in the form of a short…almost star-shaped monster suddenly appearing beside you. Where the hell did you come from?! The monster is red and blue colour-blocked, and has a diamond shaped head. You don’t really know what to think of it, though…you’re pretty sure that each point on its body is sharp enough to cause real damage. It puts you on edge, despite its smiling face. 

“Oh. A human guest…” Its head spins completely around. Woah. Weird. “Nice! MTT resort prides itself on catering to all kinds of guests!” 

“Oh, uh, thanks.” You smile awkwardly. “I’m not a guest though. I’m here for the…interview?”

The monster’s head spins around again. “Oh! Well, isn’t that unexpected!” A pause. “But MTT resort prides itself on its ability to handle the unexpected!”

Uh… Unsure as to how to respond to that, you just smile. 

The star-shaped monster points its arm(?) at a door not far from the reception desk. “Go through that door! The supervisor will see you in her office.”

“Thanks!” Your smile becomes a bit more sincere. The monster cartwheels away, starting up a conversation with a new monster walking into the lobby. It’s the same spiel it started with you. You only pay the amusing scene a moment of attention, before turning away and heading towards the door. 

The door opens directly to an office. A high-pitched voice rings out immediately. “What do you want?”

Oh. That’s…that’s a hand. An actual hand. Giant and blue, with very sharp red nails. The monster currently sits behind a large desk, the giant fingers folded into a fist. 

“H-hi!” You stammer. Shit. Pull yourself together. You plaster on a smile and introduce yourself. “I’m here for the job interview.” 

The giant hand moves into a ‘three’ position. “Oh. You’re a human.” How is it even speaking? There’s no mouth??

Once its words register over your internal dialogue, a feeling of dread starts to bubble in your stomach. “Is that…a problem?”

The hand moves to a ‘one’ position. For a long moment, there is no response. You feel your nerves and stress grow, clawing up your throat. Your chest feels weird, a tugging motion you can’t fully place. 

Then, an answer. “No. Just unexpected. We don’t get many humans here.” A pause. “You can call me Chandace.” 

Oh. Alright then. You expected that. “It’s nice to meet you, Chandace.” 

A snort (how?!) “Well, you’re already more polite than the shit employeesI have already. Sit down. Let's get this going.”

With that, the interview starts immediately. It’s short, with mostly questions you had expected and prepared to be asked. A few are…oddly specific, but nothing you can’t handle. You can tell that Chandace is near the end of the questions -and are feeling confident- when she hits you with the big one.

“Do you have any experience working with monsters?”

“No.” You admit. “I just moved here, but I’m very open-minded and ready to learn!”

“Well, you’re definitely crazy enough to even try.” Chandace hums, moving again into a ‘three’ position.“We require all staff to live on-site. Is that a problem?”

“Live…on site?”

“Yes, at the resort.” She says, words slow. “Part of your pay will go directly towards your room, of course. But employees get a discount.” 

That seems…highly problematic. Definitely something that wouldn’t fly outside of Ebott. Red flags pop up in your mind from all directions. But…well…that does actually solve your other big problem of living out of your car. 

“That works for me.” You say. “I do have a car. Do you have parking?”

“Yes.“ Chandace says. “Most monsters don't have cars, so I can sell you a spot. Full-price.” Fucking hell. How much of your pay is going to go towards just living at the resort?! It's frustrating in principle, but not like you have many other options. 

Wait. Most monsters don't have cars? But…

“What about those cars in the parking lot?” You can’t help but ask. The parking lot outside the resort was practically full. 

“Mettatons, mostly.” She says. “Status symbols.” 

Huh? You think back on the cars you walked by. Sure, they were pretty nice…but not exactly something you’d consider a ‘status symbol’. Still, you nod. “Okay.” 

A long silence, then. “I’ll get started on the paperwork.” 

You straighten up, eyes widening. “Does that mean…I got the job?!”

“Don’t be stupid.” Chandace stands up. “Arrive on time, do your job, don’t pull any human shit, and we’ll have no problem.” She starts towards the door. “I’ll be back with the forms.”

The door closes behind you as Chandace walks out. Alone in the office, it takes you a moment for your mind to truly click. 

…I got the job.

…

I did it…holy shit. I actually did it! A triumphant grin forms on your face, and you lean back into the chair. Relief quickly overwhelms any sense of victory you feel. You have a job, and -surprisingly- a place to sleep.

So, that’s how you became the first human employee at a monster-owned business.

Fucking cool. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The elevator makes a freaky sound as you go up, enough to make you question if it might be best to take the stares from now on. At least you’re only on the third floor, so the ride isn’t too long. 

The doors open to a rather lackluster hallway. Sure, there may be nothing overtly wrong with the hallway, but it looks like any other hotel hallway you’ve ever been in. It contrasts so heavily with the glitz and glam of the outside of the building and the lobby that it gives you pause. 

Walking down the hall, you quickly find your room. Sliding the keycard into the slot, the door unlocks. You push it open with your hip, pulling your suitcase behind you. Once inside, you lock the door and turn on the lights. 

Your room itself is much like the hallway, upsettingly normal; though, you are not sure exactly what you expected. Maybe something more ‘monster-like’? Whatever that might mean. Still, the room has pretty much anything you could need: a bed (large), a television (old and boxy), a bathroom (no tub, damn), a table and chair and storage. The only thing missing is a kitchen, but Chandace had already explained earlier that the employees use a full communal kitchen.

It feels sort of like being in a dorm. Hm. Again, you can’t exactly complain. 

After haphazardly putting away your personal items and checking out your view (literally just the side of the building next door), you decide to find this communal kitchen. Double checking that you have your keycard with you, you walk out of your room and down the hall. 

It doesn’t take long to find what you’re sure is it, a large open door at the end of the hall. You turn into the room…

…and immediately crash into someone. 

“Shit!” You grumble, stepping backwards and rubbing your hurt nose. Whatever you walked into was soft, but didn’t move an inch. 

“Watch your fucking step.” A male voice. You look up. Oh. It’s…a cat? Well, a cat monster. Huh. This is actually the first monster that I can somewhat recognize. The cat narrows his eyes at you. “You’re new.” He says, ears folding back onto his head. “Where are you working?”

You introduce yourself, feeling a bit on edge as his stare only grows in intensity. “I’m the new receptionist.”

At your words, his shoulders drop. “Hm. Fine then.” A pause. “Just don’t take from my tips.”

“Uh, of course not?” You respond quickly, confused. “I guess…you work here too, then?”

“Everyone on this floor works at this shithole.” The cat deadpans. You open your mouth to ask another question, but a paw on your shoulder gently pushes you aside. Before you can say anything, the cat monster walks past you. 

Well, fuck me then.

You roll your eyes, and head into the kitchen. It’s empty now, but clean at least. That’s good. There’s also a small seating area with two couches, and a large window. Walking over, you check out the view. It’s a bit better, showing the park across the street.  It’s kind of interesting to people-watch. Uh. Monster-watch?

Bzzt

Your phone vibrates in your pocket. Not a call, a text. Probably Chandace with your schedule. Shit. You can’t believe you are actually going to work at MTT resort! A monster hotel. What the fuck is your life? 

Pulling out your phone, you open the message and read it. Uh. You re-read it. And again. That…can’t be right….right?

[Chandace]: Your first shift is tomorrow. Be downstairs at 4:30 a.m.

Four thirty?! You groan at the text, immediately turning around to head back. If you have to be up that early, you have no choice but to start winding down now. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Winding-down’ turns out to be completely impossible. You try, oh how you try, but everything in you thrums in excitement and anticipation. How the hell can you ‘wind down’ when you’re actually here? Living in MTT Resort? When everything you’ve been working towards for the last few months has actually happened…and worked?

I’m here. 

I’m actually here. 

A mantra you don’t think you’ll stop repeating for a while. Grabbing a pillow, you place it over your face to muffle the excited sound that escapes you. It had been a long, terrifying process, but it actually fucking worked! You think of your day, of how terrified and anxious you had been, of how you spent at least an hour in the MTT Resort parking lot before being able to calm yourself enough to walk in. 

A bit ridiculous, sure, but it’s not like you’re normally like this. God, if you were, you don’t think any of this would have been possible. It was pretty much your life on the line after all. You think you can give yourself a bit of a break. 

Monsters don’t do background checks; the rumor that had you uproot your entire life and move to a completely foreign environment. There hadn’t been a way to corroborate the rumor -nothing online about the subject at all- so the risk had been huge. I guess I was just desperate enough to try anything. At least it turned out to be true. You’re not entirely sure what you would have done if things hadn’t panned out. There was no backup plan.

When you first heard the rumor, you had assumed you would have to move to Ebott itself. That…was overwhelming. The thought of that monster metropolis at the foot of the mountain felt so alien to you. Apparently it had been a small farming town before the Emergence, but the humans that previously lived there left quickly after the monsters showed up. Now, ruled by the monster monarchy, it had exploded into the bustling place it is now. 

The main problem with moving to Ebott was the tension between monsters and humans in the area. It’s a bit better now…but not long ago there were many incidents in the news. Humans would go to the city and cause trouble; sometimes smaller things like vandalism or robbery, and other times actively looking to hurt someone. A dumb idea, really. It never really worked out well for the humans that tried. Not only are monsters normally much stronger than us, but they actually are legally allowed a wide-range of self-defense for themselves and their territory. 

The law had to catch up quickly after the Emergence. Many people were not happy at the monster's existence, and would travel to the town to demand them ‘return to the mountain’. The first time a human was seriously hurt, it was huge. The man had gone to Ebott and attacked what they thought was a weak monster, only to get their ass handed to them. It went to court, and the entire world watched as it was self-defense. It was the first time in a while that you actually felt a bit proud of your species. The precedent continues to stand, dissuading many would-be attackers and vandals. Unfortunately, despite the win, things remain tense between the two species, especially in Ebott. 

So, no, the idea of moving there seemed impossible. Not with your limitations. But in your research, you found another possibility. A city, two hours or so away from Ebott, where enough monsters had branched out to that they formed their own area colloquially called ‘Monstertown. Monster owned businesses were popping up quickly, including a new branch of the famous MTT Resort. From what you read, the big migration of monsters had been a joint decision between the government and the monarchy to improve Monster-Human relations. Unfortunately, it had ended up mostly just dividing the city. Like Ebott -now, anyways- there are rarely any incidents, but only a few brave humans ever enter Monstertown. 

Knowing that, the looks you got all day are neither surprising or insulting. Monsters look at you in surprise and confusion more than anything. It’s what you can expect when you move specifically to the monster side of the city. Sure, maybe you’d have an easier time blending in on the human side of town but…well…there’s a reason you applied specifically to a monster-owned business. 

It’s worked out for you though. A place like this, where monsters are separate but still receptive to humans, is perfect for you. 

Your phone vibrates on the bed, pulling you from your thoughts. You pull the pillow from your face and grab your phone. A new text is up on the screen.

[Mark]: Where r u?

Frowning, you swipe to clear your screen and turn it face down. You push away the new thoughts trying to crawl up your mind, anxieties you thought you left miles ago. No, now is not the time to reflect on the past. 

You are here. This is your future. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

You don’t get much sleep at all, anticipation for your first day thrumming heavily in your veins. Eventually you do pass out, but it feels like you only sleep for maybe twenty minutes before your alarm starts going off. 

Peeling yourself out of bed, you get ready and head on down to the main floor. Chandace hadn’t mentioned a uniform -luckily- so you were dressed in your best ‘business casual’ type outfit. You take advantage of the large elevator mirror to ensure you look good and put-together from all angles before the doors open to the lobby. 

It’s pretty much empty, which you could expect at this hour. The only two occupants are the hand monster and the star-monster, chatting at the reception desk. 

“Good morning!” You smile, walking over. 

Chandace turns towards you, fingers in a ‘four’ position. “You look presentable. Good.”

“Uh, thanks.” You respond. The silence grows a bit too long. “So…how can I start?”

“I will train you today.” Chandace says. “Tomorrow you will be on your own, so listen well.”

“You will do fine.” The star monster says. “MTT resort prides itself on a robust training program!”

…

…

‘Robust’ my ass.

If there is an actual training program, Chandace doesn’t follow it. All she does is show you the absolute basics of working the reception desk. The customer service part of it comes easily, but the software is almost alien to you. It takes you a bit to understand how to navigate it. Still, you feel like you’re catching on pretty well by the time the first guest arrives. 

You look up, catching eyes with a dog monster. “Good morning!” You give your customer service smile. “Are you checking in?”

The dog looks completely surprised. “You smell like…a human.”

You blink. “Well, good. I am a human.” 

The silence goes long. 

“Can I help you check in?” You repeat. Your voice seems to shake the dog monster out of it. 

“Okay.”

The rest of your interactions go similarly. No matter their size or personality, they all have the same reaction to seeing you: complete shock. It’s kinda funny, but you have a feeling it will get old fast. There’s only so many times you can be told your own species before it gets too repetitive.

Chandace leaves you on your own after the first guest, telling you to only bug her if it's urgent. It feels a bit like a compliment, that she thinks you’re good enough to be left alone. But also…it's kinda worrying to be the only one here on your first day. 

It’s just after noon when your stomach moves from a light rumble to an intense need, and the lack of caffeine -you now know you’ll have to bring your own- and food starts to negatively affect your attitude. When you finally get a chance, you head towards the supervisor's room. 

“Hi Chandace!” You peek in. “I hope I’m not disturbing you.” 

“What do you want?” She responds, fingers in a ‘one’ position. You have a feeling she isn’t actually looking up at you. 

“Just, uh, wondering when I should go on break.” You say. “It’s pretty quiet, I think now might be a good time?”

“A break?” That gets her to look up. “What are you talking about?”

…

“Uh…” You start, not really sure how you’re going to handle this. Why is she confused? “My break. You know…the time I get to myself…that I don’t have to work?”

“You don’t get a ‘break’.” 

That's…not possible. Your shift is over eight hours. Do monsters not get breaks?! For a moment you panic, wondering how you’re going to manage this. Shit, you need this job. But can you work that long without a single break?! “But..I’m legally entitled to it.”

“What?!” Chandace’s fingers go down into a fist. “Is this a human thing??”

“Yeah.” You nod.“It’s thirty minutes for anything over eight hours.” 

“Are you serious?!” She grumbles. “That’s ridiculous! I don’t know how you humans manage to get shit done like this.” A pause. “Anything else you’re ‘entitled’ to?” 

Well, yes, actually. But it doesn’t feel like a good time to bring any of that up. Not on your first day. Not when she already seems so annoyed. “Just a thirty for today.” 

“I’m not paying you to not work.”

You respond quickly. “It’s unpaid!” 

“Hm.” She looks down. “I’m going to look into this. You better not be lying.”

“I’m not!” You insist. 

“Fine. Take it. I’ll do your job too.” Her fingers move dismissively. “Just be back on time.”

“Okay. Uh, thanks.” You leave it there, not wanting to upset her any more, and leave the office. 

After giving the reception and lobby area a quick check -no potential guests- you head out into the lobby with a destination in mind : MTT Burger Emporium. The glittery gold sign has been tantalizing you all morning. You figure that soon, the idea of staying inside the resort for your break and eating resort food will sound awful, but for now it’s all you need. 

You walk into the emporium and look around. It looks just like any other fast-food restaurant, with a bit of extra pizzazz. The walls are decorated with various scenes from Mettaton’s movies and tv shows. Not that you’ve seen more than a few minutes of any. Hm. You look away and make your way to the counter. 

Oh. 

The cat monster from before stands behind the counter. You smile. “Hi again!” Squinting at the small nametag on his apron, you finally have a name to put with the face: BP.

BP’s eyebrows raise. “Quitting already?” He asks.

“What? No.” Your smile fades. “What are you talking about?”

“I thought you were working this morning.” He says. “I saw you on my way in.” 

“I am.” You say, your voice taking on a confused tone as well. “I started at 4:30 this morning.”

That only confuses him more. “So…why are you here if you’re not quitting?”

Suddenly the pieces connect. Ah, I see.  “Oh, I’m on break.”

“On…break?” His head tilts to the side a bit. 

You explain again what a break is, going into a bit more detail this time. The confusion on the monsters face lessens as you talk. When you finish, he chuckles. “Really? Shit. Chandace is probably pissed.”

“Seemed it.” You sigh. “Do you guys really work the entire shift without a break?”

BP shrugs. “Normal to us, I guess.”

“They’re so long though…I don’t know how you do it.” You respond, glancing up towards the clock. Shit. You’re running out of time. “Anyways, what’s good here?”

The break feels too short, and you only finish half of your burger by the time you have to go back to the reception area. A bit early, but it pays off as Chandace comes out at exactly thirty minutes. She’s a bit hard to read…but you think she’s surprised that you are back on time.  

“MTT Resort will comply with your human laws.” She says. “You’ll get a thirty minute break, unpaid.”

“Sounds good to me.” You smile. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

2 Weeks Later

Walking out of MTT Resort, you throw your hands in the air for a full-body stretch. Your bones pop, and you let out a relieved sigh. Shit, that feels amazing. The air also feels great after that long-ass shift. You started long before the sun came up, and it’s already sunset. The end of your two weeks of ‘nonstop orientation’ hell is done. Fuck. Finally, tomorrow, you have a day off. You’re completely exhausted and want nothing more than to pass out in bed. But…you have things to do. 

Looking down at your phone, you program the MonsterMart into your GPS and let it lead the way. Walking down the street, you can’t help but feel a bit like an animal in the zoo. Humans don’t normally come to this side of town, so you get a lot of looks. It doesn’t normally bother you much, but today it's getting under your skin quite a bit. 

Instead of paying attention to the stares and allowing your annoyance to grow, you spend your walk double checking the grocery list on your phone. It’s not long, just a few items so that you’re no longer spending money at the MTT Burger Emporium. As much as you actually enjoy talking to the snarky cat monster there, the food is heavy and your wallet is really starting to hurt. The resort pays weekly, but with a good portion of your paycheck going towards your room and parking…there isn’t much left over. Definitely not enough to be paying for food each day.

So, grocery shopping it is. You had briefly considered going to the human side of town, but your car is low on gas, and really, getting the lay of the land is probably the best bet. It feels like you haven’t left the resort at all in the past month. If you really plan to live here for a while, you’ll need to know more than one building. Sure, maybe it would be better to explore Monstertown in a better mood, but you don’t really have any other options. Your last paycheck is already almost gone, you can’t afford another Burger Emporium meal and groceries. As it is, you can almost feel the exhaustion radiating out from you. You don’t want to do this at all. If you had any choice, you wouldn’t be. 

The MonsterMart turns out to be a small store, with shelves a bit more bare than you would have liked. Still, you manage to find most of what you’re looking for. The last thing you’re having trouble finding is mustard. 

It’s frustrating, you just want to go home. You don’t want to be searching down every fucking isle for condiments. Eventually you do find them, in the back of a seemingly unrelated section. Finally! There’s only one bottle of mustard left, sitting amongst an abundance of other condiments. Weird. 

With a small frown, you grab it. It’s a monster brand, you can tell by the overly simple ‘Mustard’ label that human brands don’t do. Interested, you turn it over to see the ingredients. What kind of mustard is this? You are in the middle of trying to determine what one of the ingredients is when the bottle just disappears from your hand. 

…

What?!

You look around, eyes immediately locking on a very large monster standing only a foot or so away. How you didn’t notice his approach is a terrifying mystery. You should have noticed something that big approach you. The monster himself is…well, also kinda terrifying. A skeleton stands before you, tall and broad. His heavy-set form is covered by a black, fur-lined jacket over a dark red top. 

Yeah, he’s pretty freaky. You should be scared, right? Even if this was a human, it's not a good situation. Cornered at the end of an isle, alone with a being as big, obviously strong and stealthy as this monster is. Every instinct should be screaming. Right? 

But fear never comes. No, as your eyes zero in on the bottle of mustard in those huge hands, it’s not fear that overcomes you, but annoyance. 

“Did you just…?” You ask.

Crimson eye lights turn to look at you. “did I just what?” He says, voice deep and gravelly. 

“You-you took that from me.” You say, surprise making you stammer. “I was literally just holding that!”

He snorts. “ya snooze ya lose.”

…What?

You blink slowly at the rude response, feeling that annoyance quickly escalating in your body to full-on anger. Really? Is this monster really going to try to steal your fucking mustard?! 

Maybe, just maybe, if you hadn't been at the end of a long and stressful two weeks, you’d just let it go. It’s just mustard. Maybe he doesn’t understand basic social etiquette. Maybe he doesn’t realize he’s being rude. Maybe he needs it more than you. 

As it is, none of that matters. You don’t have a bone of patience left in your body. 

“What the fuck?!” You turn to face him fully, holding out a hand. “Give it back!”

The skeleton’s eye sockets widen slightly, before narrowing. He grins, showing off sharp teeth. “or what? ya gonna take it from me?” 

You try. Fuck, do you try. Without thinking, you lunge forward at the monster, hands open and ready to claw the bottle back from him. 

The skeleton lets out a surprised sound, lifts the hand holding the mustard higher, and that’s it. You just can’t reach that. Condiment fully out of reach, you collide painfully with his body. The force is apparently not enough to move him. You practically bounce off hard bones and onto your ass on the tiled ground. 

“Ow, fuck.” You grumble, any physical pain you might have felt being vastly outweighed by the sheer embarrassment that quickly fills your body. What the hell did I just do?! You can already feel the heat growing in your face. It definitely doesn’t help that the monster just stares down at you, a look of pure amusement on his face. Shit. 

As quick as possible, you scramble back into a standing position and try to fix him with the strongest glare you still have in you. Getting knocked down like that definitely puts a hose to your fire, but you can still try to hold onto as much of your dignity as possible. The glare doesn’t seem to do anything but amuse the skeleton further, if the widening grin on his face says anything. 

“yer not gonna win, sweetcheeks.” He says, bringing his arm back down. As you watch, he starts tossing and catching the bottle in his hand. Taunting you. Asshole. 

The demeaning nickname fulfills its purpose of another dagger into your tattered pride. “Fuck you.” You spit out, the only response you can even think of. 

Those red eyes look you up and down, intense in a familiar way that immediately puts you back on guard. You’ve seen that look before. Not on a monster, but still. Suddenly, you have a strong feeling that you know the type of thing he’s going to respond with. You practically handed the opportunity to that smug face monster. As said monster opens his mouth, you brace yourself for whatever rude innuendo he’s about to say. 

Bzzt. Bzzt. 

A phone vibrates, loud enough that you can hear it. The skeleton immediately freezes, free hand going to his pocket. He brings out a phone and holds it to…well…where an ear would be on a human. 

“sup.” He says casually. A loud voice comes through the phone that you can’t understand. 

The skeleton rolls his eyes. “patrollin’”

The voice on the other end gets louder, somehow. The skeleton winces, pulling the phone slightly away from his skull. “fine.”

Those intense eyes don’t leave you as he speaks into the phone. Unfortunate, as you definitely would have taken the opportunity to try for the mustard again if he got distracted. Anything to restore your dignity even a little bit. 

“Didn’t anyone teach you not to steal?” You ask, the moment the skeleton ends his call. 

“didn’t anyone teach ya not to mess with someone stronger than ya?” He responds, but he seems a bit distracted now. “well, this has been fun.” He continues. “but I gotta go.” With that, the skeleton turns and walks away. He casually tosses your mustard in the air a bit higher, definitely taunting you. 

Unable to do anything else, you flip him off behind his back, glaring at him until he’s out of sight. 

Grumbling to yourself, you finally admit defeat. Turning to the other condiments, you try to figure out any sort of substitute for your groceries. It takes you a bit, but you manage to figure it out. The whole skeleton situation puts you in an even worse mood, but the monster cashier doesn’t seem to even notice. The entire interaction is done with as little words as possible, and soon you’re headed back to the resort. 

You keep to yourself, quickly heading towards the elevator and up to your room. You stuff what you can in the minifridge in your room and collapse angrily on your bed. 

“Fucking skeleton asshole.” You whisper into your pillow. 

I hope I never see that fucking smug face again.

[Next Chapter]

[callmemeelah]

I can see how many fingers are you holding up. [S/O with glasses.]

: ̗̀➛ A/N : You know what's funny? Classes are about to start, and i just got motivation, lovely.

: ̗̀➛ Pairing[s] : Main 6 x S/O (Separately) [Undertale, Underswap, Underfell.]

: ̗̀➛ Format : Headcannon

: ̗̀➛ TW/CW : tiny weeny bitsy little bit of cursing

: ̗̀➛ Word Count : 461 words.

Ut Sans

He would think they're pretty neat ! [He's doing the fingers thing, absolutely.]

If your eyesight is very badly he would put them on the kitchen table just to see you looking around confusingly [he would stop if you got hurt tho.]

If it isn't that bad he would always remind you to keep them on, because he doesn't want you to end with a worse eyeslight.

Overall, a pretty chill dude about it, sometimes an asshole [in a lovingly way [mostly] ]

Ut Papyrus

He would think you're smart, because the only people he know with glasses are Toriel and Alphys and..they're smart.

He would ask you shit like, "WHAT'S THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL?" or ask your help with puzzles.

No but really he would think you're so incredibly smart, imagine his face when you do something stupid.

His hopes for your wisdom shattered.

Us Sans

He would also think you're smart, but not like Papyrus, he would think you maybe read a lot or something?? [No blue it's because of the damn phone.]

But still, he won't ask any life changing questions, just the usual like "HOW DO YOU TURN THE STOVE OFF?" or "HOW DO YOU STOP A FIRE?" or "HOW DO YOU CALL THE FIREFIGHTERS?"

He would also always clean your glasses......and end up staining them with his dirty gloves.....it's the tought that counts.

And he would also remind you were they are, because he loves you but he won't love you more with a bruise in your head, don't worry.

Us Papyrus

Oh, ok.

He just, doesn't really care ????

It's a part of you so he loves it but like, it's just glasses.

He would clean them if they were very dirty, and scold you for walking around with them like that. [S/O you can't see already, and with this much dirt in your glasses you can't even see at all!]

Overall he wouldn't really care much ? Just, acknowledge it.

Uf sans

"How many fingers am i holding up??" *middle finger.*

He will steal your glasses and he WILL not tell you were they are.

Fucking dipshit.

Will laugh if you bump into something.

[If you got actually hurt he will worry tho...if it's just a scratch he will laugh.]

Probably accidentally broke them once...or twice.

He payed them tho! [He got you red frames, forcefully.]

Overall: asshole [lovingly.]

Us papyrus

He thinks you are weaker because you have bad eyesight, so he always stays by your side "just in case" [he worries you'll end up losing them and get lost.]

He kind off likes them? He likes square shaped ones. ["THEY MAKE YOU LOOK SMARTER."]

Will definitely love is you get red frames because now you're matching with his scarf [he will NOT tell you that.]

Overall..pretty nice, but still a bit of an asshole.

© Callmemeelah. Do not repost, steal, or translate the content that i make.

[vex-bittys]

When Life Gives You Skeletons: Chapter 5: Skeletons Do Not [REDACTED]

All of your frustration, anger, and heartache pours out of you in the form of tears. Red starts out with a tentative hug, but eventually his arms settle firmly around you, holding you tightly. You grip his shirt front with both hands as if he's the only thing keeping you from fracturing, as if he's your lifeline. 

You feel like a boat set adrift on a vast ocean, lost and small. Everything you had just yesterday has an “ex” on it now: ex-manager, ex-job, ex-residence, ex-roommate. You moved to Ebbott for a fresh start, but you ended up in the same position as before. No family. No place to live. Granted, you do have a friend in Ebbott, but her career and fiancee leave little time for you. As an added bonus, you also don't have the suitcase of belongings you left your hometown with or the sense of security and safety you should have towards other people.

In short, you have a lot of things to cry about, so it comes as no surprise that it takes quite a while for your sobs and hyperventilation to subside to snot, sniffles, and the occasional hiccup.

Once he sees that you're calmed down, Red helps you back into your seat then heads to the counter to get some food. You try to protest his offer to buy you lunch, but he flatly tells you to either give him your order or you'll end up with a plain bread sandwich with extra mustard. You relent and call out the instructions for your sandwich. Red picks up drinks and chips as well, but when he goes to pay, the worker gives him an unimpressed look.

You can't tell if she dislikes Red because he looks like a living human skeleton or if she dislikes Red because he just reached into his pocket and tossed a bunch of wadded up bills, miscellaneous loose change, buttons, paper clips, lint, and other deep pocket detritus onto the counter with a casual “keep the change” thrown in for good measure. Fortunately, she perks up when she realizes that the “change” Red let her keep amounts to more than the cost of the entire order. 

Red brings the food to your booth and sets your meal in front of you. You appreciate it, you really do, but you're just too anxious and emotional to do much more than pick at your food and sip your drink. Red, on the other hand, demolishes his sandwich and chips with gusto, belches, then speaks.

“so where ya plannin’ on stayin’ t'night?” Apparently, Red is going straight for the million dollar question, so you stuff a huge bite of sandwich into your mouth and go over your options silently while you chew (also silently). Red’s phone buzzes an alert into the silence you've created, and he ignores it.

With no forewarning about last night's events, you'd gone ahead and paid your rent, your portion of the utilities, your phone bill, and your student loan payment in full and on time like a responsible adult, the kind of adult with a bank account running dangerously low on funds. You have a few hundred dollars that you had stashed in a savings account to someday purchase a car, but a chunk of that would be spent today buying replacement clothes and toiletries. Even if you had the money for a security deposit and first month’s rent, who would be willing to lease an apartment to someone with no job?

Nobody.

Even the cheapest motels would be out of your price range after just a few days. This conclusion has tears welling up in your eyes again. You hate crying in front of people; it makes you feel weak and helpless. You swallow your bite of food and your emotions and give Red an honest answer.

“I really don't know.”

“ya ain’t got nobody y’can stay wit’?”

You don't want to explain your family situation or your lack of a social life. Those are stories for another time. The last thing you need right now is to open yourself up to additional emotional turmoil, so you go with a short and simple “No.” Red's phone buzzes again as if to accentuate your answer.

“look, i'd have ta talk t'my cousin, sans cuz it's technically his house, but would ya wanna stay wit’ me n’ my bro n’ cousins?”

You're stunned by the offer, and it takes a moment for you to respond. “I don't want to be a freeloader…” You trail off because honestly there aren't any other options open to you.

“y'could offer t'do some of the cookin’ n’ cleanin’,” suggests Red. “i know my bro is always complainin’ about all th’ shit he has ta do around th’ house.”

It's a fair compromise, and you accept. Red’s phone gives a triumphant buzz, and he ignores the alert a third time in favor of calling his cousin. You suddenly become very interested in the lunch you've barely eaten to avoid eavesdropping, but it's difficult when the conversation is happening right across the small table from you.

Sans must have picked up because you overhear the indistinct mumble of a very deep voice on the other end of the line. Your phone vibrates violently inside your purse, and you welcome the distraction. Digging around to find it, you still can't help hearing Red speak.

“i gotta friend who needs a place ta stay n’ i thought maybe she could take th’ attic room.”

You retrieve your phone and see a new message icon displayed on the screen. 

“nah, she ain't a troublemaker.”

New Message:

The Magnificent Blueberry

(XXX) XXX-XXXX 

The Magnificent Blueberry: ARE YOU ALRIGHT, MAIDEN?

“my bro n’ blue already met ‘er, n’ they liked ‘er just fine.”

Your fingers fly over the phone screen, quickly tapping out a reply to Blue.

You: Yeah, I'm good. Just enjoying some lunch.

“axe didn't bother ‘er las’ night.”

The Magnificent Blueberry: I APOLOGIZE FOR INTERRUPTING YOUR MEAL!

Blue's random check-in is a bit odd, but it's nice to know someone is thinking of you and worrying about your welfare. You close the conversation with Blue only to notice another unread message underneath it on your list of texts. At first, you don't recognize the number.

“axe n’ rusty ain't had an episode in months. look, maybe y'should jus’ talk to ‘er yerself.”

New Message:

(XXX) XXX-XXXX 

(XXX) XXX-XXXX: y’can make it up t’me by joinin’ me f’r lunch sometime to listen t'more of my jokes. i got a skele-TON of ‘em.

You would've known this message is from Red even without your original text nested above it. Unexpected laughter bubbles up inside of you. When it bursts free, it takes some of your gloomy mood with it.

“A skeleton pun, Red? You must know I find them quite-” You pause for dramatic effect. “- humerus!”

You do not realize that Red has put you on speaker phone until you hear a deep, low chuckle coming from the phone. Red groans.

“i take back what i said. she's obviously a troublemaker,” Red says, making Sans laugh harder.

“Just because I like puns,” you huff, indignant. 

“puns're th’ low-hangin’ fruit of th’ joke world, doll.”

“Gasp,” you cry instead of actually gasping. “How could you say that? Puns are the pinnacle of jokes!”

“the cherry on top,” Sans quips, and you giggle.

“what’ve i gotten myself into,” Red laments.

You smile in a very devious manner. “Orange you glad I didn't make that cherry pun?” Red groans again, and you and Sans howl with laughter. Obviously,  Red’s cousin understands that the humor of puns doesn't come from the wordplay itself; it comes from people's reactions to the puns. You think you'll get along with him just fine, and it seems he agrees.

“i'll talk to axe and rusty and ask papyrus to get the attic room ready, but she's your responsibility, red.”

“got it.” With those final words, Red hangs up on his cousin, probably to avoid the possibility of more puns. You save Red’s contact information  as “Clifford” in your phone, and turn your attention to packing up the remains of your lunch. You don't have the appetite to finish it, but you hate wasting food. A partial sandwich and some chips will be a great snack if you get hungry later. For now, you need to focus on finding some inexpensive outfits and toiletries to bring to your new temporary home.

You approach the woman at the counter to ask for a bag to carry your leftovers, and no sooner have you stuffed your future snack into that bag than you hear an unmistakable high-volume rasp shouting for Red. At least you assume “MY INSUFFERABLE LAZYBONES OF A BROTHER” is Red. You return to your booth to find the two skeleton monsters arguing.

“HOW MANY TIMES MUST I REMIND YOU NOT TO IGNORE MY TEXTS!” It’s difficult to be sure since Edge speaks loudly and has extremely pointy features, but you think the tall skeleton might be angry at his brother. Red, though again you're no expert at reading bone facial expressions, appears sheepish.

Your curiosity leads you to interrupt. “How did you know where we were?” Edge levels a glare at you that makes you regret your very existence. 

“MY VEHICLE HAS A GPS TRACKER INSTALLED TO PREVENT THEFT.” OK, so Edge is obviously a stalker, and he has the nerve to sound proud of himself for it. “WHEN MY CONTACT AT THE HUMAN POLICE DEPARTMENT SHOWED ME THE REPORT FROM YOUR RETRIEVAL MISSION-” Retrieval mission? “- I DECIDED TO INTERVENE.” Now Red is on the receiving end of Edge’s glare again. “AND STOP TELLING PEOPLE THAT YOU CHANGED MY DIAPERS! SKELETONS DO NOT POOP!” Edge stomps his foot to punctuate each word of his last statement. 

“then what were ya wearin’ the diapers for?” Red asks oh so innocently. You sputter, trying to hold in your laughter and failing. 

Shifting his focus to you, Edge changes the subject in lieu of answering. “I ASSUME YOU ARE HERE TO REPLACE YOUR POSSESSIONS, AND FOR SOME UNKNOWN REASON MY BROTHER HAS TAKEN IT UPON HIMSELF TO ACCOMPANY YOU.” You nod in acknowledgement. “I SUPPOSE I SHALL ESCORT YOU AS WELL TO KEEP AN EYELIGHT ON MY DEGENERATE BROTHER AND MAKE SURE YOUR PATHETIC HUMAN WEAKNESS DOESN'T PUT HIM IN ANY DANGER.”

“didn’ i teach ya any manners growin’ up?” scolds Red.

“NO.”

“true, but if ya keep bein’ rude ta the human, i'll show ‘er pictures of you as a babybones.” 

“YOU'RE BLUFFING!” Edge’s voice lacks its usual cocky confidence. You actually hope that he calls the supposed bluff and you get to see his baby pictures. Even pointy, scowling babies are cute!

“if ya think so, then try me.”

The skeleton brothers continue to bicker, trailing behind you while you backtrack to the store entrance to grab a shopping cart. You gather from conversation that Red raised Edge, but you don't dare to ask about their parents because it might invite questions about your parents. You aren’t ready to talk about that yet, especially when you're in the ladies underwear department trying to select a comfortable, affordable bra. 

Thanks to the abundance of clearance racks at this particular store, you have a pair of bras and a multi-pack of underwear in your cart in no time. You also find some pajama pants in case you need to wander the house at night without your upper thighs exposed. Red stays close to you as you browse a rack of marked down shirts. Edge prowls around the clothing department, eyelights darting back and forth suspiciously. Periodically he checks back, speaking to his brother in a low tone that discourages eavesdropping. You're not the listening-in type anyway, so the secrecy doesn't bother you.

You are, however, significantly bothered when Edge hijacks your cart to pass judgment on your selections.

“THE CRAFTSMANSHIP ON THESE GARMENTS IS ABYSMAL,” he sneers. Clearance rack leftovers at a superstore do tend to lack in the quality department, but you have a tight budget to work with. Before you can even begin to explain this to Edge, he drops a pile of clothing into the cart, scooping out the shirts you had just placed there a moment ago. You can see from the tags that he chose the correct size; unfortunately not a single item is on sale.

“THESE ARE THE BEST THAT THIS ESTABLISHMENT HAS TO OFFER,” Edge informs you, though he doesn't sound particularly impressed.

“I can't afford all of this right now, Edge,” you point out, exasperated. 

“I AM AWARE OF YOUR SITUATION, HUMAN,” he responds, equally exasperated.

Red diffuses the brewing argument by interrupting. “what my bro's tryin’ ta say is: since yer stuff got destroyed because you associated wit’ us, we'll pay ta replace it.”

Oh.

“AND I WILL NOT PROVIDE YOU WITH LOW QUALITY REPLACEMENTS EITHER. I HAVE A REPUTATION TO MAINTAIN.”

The tall skeleton monster can't know that his words mirror the ones his brother said to you yesterday, but they make you smile anyway. Now that clothing has been checked off the shopping list, you move along to the hygiene essentials. Red marvels at all of the human cleaning products (“hair soap n’ face soap n’ body soap n’ pussy soap, n’ it all comes in diff'rent flavors!”), and Edge remains vigilant for possible shampoo aisle ambushes. He also refuses to let you shop for sale items here.

You put cheap deodorant in the cart. Edge hands it back to you and points to a popular (and more expensive) brand. 

You try to pick out budget brand shampoo and conditioner. 

“NO.”

You grab store brand bar soap.

“TRY AGAIN.”

You reach for a value pack containing a toothbrush and toothpaste together for one low price.

“NOT THAT ONE.”

You toss a hair brush into the cart. Edge says nothing. Apparently the brush meets his high standards.

“it's easier t'just let ‘im have his way, doll,” Red whispers loudly to you. You roll your eyes. Calling Edge a control freak would be the understatement of the year.

“HUMAN!” The tall angular skeleton monster demands your attention. You patiently inform him that your name is, in fact, not “Human,” and give him your real name. Edge impatiently informs you that he “ALREADY KNEW THAT” and, in fact, “DOES NOT CARE.” He waves away any protest you might make, or perhaps shoos you towards your next destination. It’s difficult to read his intentions.

“SINCE MONSTER FOOD DOES NOT MEET A HUMAN’S NUTRITION NEEDS, YOU WILL NEED TO PROCURE VITAMINS AND HUMAN FOODS.”

You have seen the Public Service Announcements regarding monster food, of course. Monster food will satisfy hunger and even leave a human feeling rejuvenated just like a good night's sleep, but it lacks some key nutritional components. Humans can't survive on monster food alone, and monsters, who need the magical properties contained in their foods, can't survive on a human diet. You lead Edge and Red to the vitamins and supplements department only to be absolutely blown away by the ridiculous prices.

“I think I'll be fine with just a multivitamin,” you mumble, trying to avoid Edge’s well-meaning wrath. It turns out that Edge’s wrath is inescapable.

“IT WOULD BE STUPUD TO INVITE A HUMAN INTO OUR HOME AND THEN ALLOW IT TO PERISH OF MALNUTRITION. GATHER THE NECESSARY SUPPLIES AND STOP WHINING!”

“blue says she needs iron, b12, d3, n’ calcium citrate,” Red butts in, holding up his phone to show off what must be a text from Blue. Huffing in irritation, Edge swipes a handful of appropriate vitamin bottles off of the shelf and tosses them into the cart. Without another word, he stomps off towards the grocery section of the store. You and Red hurry to catch up, pushing the loaded down shopping cart in front of you. Knowing that skeletons don’t poop (thank you Edge for that strange tidbit of information), you grab some toilet paper on the way. 

Red and Edge return to their routine: Red hovering near you, and Edge patrolling each aisle as if Jay might leap out from behind a display of microwave mac and cheese to finish what he started. You fill the remaining space in the cart with breakfast, lunch, and dinner staples though Red reassures you that he and his cousins will start incorporating human foods into their recipes next time they shop for ingredients. Meanwhile, Edge scouts around the next corner and discovers the magical land of soups, the perfect food for autumn's chilly weather!

Hefting a can of soup in each hand, you weigh the pros and cons of chicken and rice versus chicken noodle, and Edge,  apparently satisfied that this aisle is secure, picks up a can of bone broth to glare at.

“WHY ARE WE BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?”

You take the can from him and return it to its place on the shelf. “Convenience,” you say and move along to browse the store's selection of snack foods while Edge guards you from the perils of grocery shopping, whatever he thinks they might be.

You're just starting to think that this shopping trip will turn out alright in spite of Edge’s abrasive personality when someone decides to rain on your little three person parade.

“Can you believe that they sell monster food here? Humans can't even eat monster food!” The complaints come from a young woman who speaks in an annoying whine, a dead giveaway that she's probably one of those self-centered types who don't understand that not everything in this world is made specifically for them. There are two skeleton monsters shopping in the store right now just a few feet away from her!

“I know!” You mimic her voice perfectly.  “Can you believe that they sell milk here? I'm lactose intolerant!” The woman's pretty face turns into an ugly sneer once she catches on to your mockery, but you refuse to let her speciesist comment go unchallenged.

“I SINCERELY APOLOGIZE-” You already know Edge well enough to know he would never apologize to this woman, but her smug smirk tells you that she's falling into his verbal trap. “- TO ANYONE WHO HAS THE EXTREME MISFORTUNE OF ENCOUNTERING SOMEONE LIKE YOU.” Insult delivered, Edge places a surprisingly gentle hand on the small of your back to guide you away from the confrontation. 

Red adds his two cents with a double middle phalanx salute which he maintains while walking backwards behind you and his brother. You catch one last glimpse of the woman's stunned face, her mouth hanging open before Edge has you out of the aisle. You quickly dart back to grab a few boxes of Pop-Tarts only to have the delicious pastries scrutinized by a pair of disapproving red eyelights.

“ABSOLUTELY NOT,” Edge declares. “THOSE HAVE NO NUTRITIONAL MERIT!”

“I can pay for these myself,” you offer. You will defend your Pop-Tart habit to the death if you need to. Edge relents in his own way, snatching the treats from your hands and throwing them unceremoniously into your cart. Flanked by two skeleton monsters, you steer the cart towards the checkout lanes feeling a bit like a princess with two bony knights to escort her.

A cashier begins scanning your items, and with each beep your euphoria evaporates a bit more until all that's left is a heavy sense of anxiety. The total continues to climb, and anxiety gives way to panic. You can't ask two skeleton monsters that you've known for less than a day to buy you so much stuff, but the transaction is already out of your price range and the cashier is still working his way through the pile of clothing.

“breathe, doll,” Red whispers, making you jump. You actually forgot about the skeleton monster standing next to you! Now that your focus is broken, you take some calming breaths. The cashier scans the last item, and hits a key to reveal the staggering sum. Unfazed, Edge pays with a credit card. Did he even check the amount?

The cashier requests Edge’s ID, probably due to the large purchase. Edge hands it over. The cashier checks it, then gives Edge a skeptical look.

“Edgelord Edgerton Serif? What kind of name is that?” You think he might be joking, but Edge lets out a low growl of frustration. 

“IT'S THE KIND OF NAME YOUR MOTHER WAS SCREAMING LAST NIGHT. NOW FINISH MY TRANSACTION.” Edge’s dry joke makes you snort, and Red bursts into raucous laughter. 

Thoroughly chastised, the cashier gives Edge his ID and a lengthy receipt. Not bothering with the now-empty shopping cart, Edge picks up each and every bag and carries your purchases outside by himself. You suspect that he is grumpy about having his name questioned, but you have to agree with the cashier's skepticism. Who names a babybones Edgelord?

You aren't one to look a gift horse in the mouth, however… especially if that gift horse is a skeleton with really sharp teeth named Edgelord Edgerton Serif.

In the parking lot, Edge stows your new belongings (and Pop-Tarts) in the back of the SUV and slams the hatch down. Turning to his brother, he holds out a gloved hand, metacarpal palm facing upwards.

“YOU CAN TAKE YOUR CHOPPER HOME, BROTHER. I'LL TRANSPORT THE HUMAN.” 

“sure thing, boss.” With no protest, Red drops the keys to the SUV into Edge’s hand.

“You call your brother ‘Boss’?” The question slips out while Edge retrieves the chopper keys from his pocket. The skeletons repeat their earlier performance of throwing and catching keys, and Red gives you an answer over his shoulder as he saunters up to a sleek black and red motorcycle.

“yeah, everyone used ta think it was cuz i was a sentry in the royal guard n’ he outranked me, but it's really cuz he was such a bossy little babybones.”

Edge stamps his foot and shouts: “STOP TELLING THE HUMAN YOUR COCKAMAMIE STORIES!” Red just starts up his bike and revs the engine to drown his brother out. He then speeds off, leaving you in the care of a tall, irritated skeleton monster.

You and Edge climb into the massive vehicle (Edge figuratively and you literally) and start your journey together. Edge drives attentively and cautiously while still managing to go slightly over the speed limit. At first he doesn't speak to you, but the blissful silence is over all too soon.

“FOR REASONS UNKNOWN, MY BROTHER HAS FORMED AN ATTACHMENT TO YOU.” Edge’s loud voice fills the SUV, surrounding you with the sound of it. “IF ANY HARM COMES TO HIM BECAUSE OF THAT ATTACHMENT, I WILL ENSURE THAT YOUR END IS EXCRUCIATING SLOW AND EXCEEDINGLY PAINFUL.”

“I would never do anything to hurt Red.” Your heated words are immediate and honest. You would never forgive yourself if something bad happened to Red because of you.

Edge says nothing, and an uneasy silence returns to the vehicle. You wonder why Edge feels the need to control every aspect of a situation. Maybe it comes from being a high ranking member of the Royal Guard? You presume Edge’s inner monologue is more along the lines of where to hide your mangled body if you cross him, and an unexpected shiver races up your spine.

Thankfully, you survive the ride to your new home. Edge once again gathers up the purchases and carries them by himself. Red must have somehow beaten you here because he stands at the front door, opening it to let you and his brother inside where you find yet another skeleton monster waiting. 

“WELCOME TO YOUR NEW HOME, HUMAN,” he shouts with contagious cheerfulness. The new skeleton is tall like Edge with softer, rounder features and a casual style of dress. He sweeps you up into a powerful hug, spins you around, and sets you back on your feet,  then he picks up a gift basket from a side table and presents it to you. “PLEASE ACCEPT THIS TOKEN OF HOSPITALITY AND FRIENDSHIP FROM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!”

You stare through the clear cellophane wrapping in shock. The basket contains a luxurious loofah, slippers, bubble bath, candles, and lotion, all items that a person on a tight budget wouldn't bother buying for themself. This family of skeleton monsters barely knows you, but they have already done so much for you. Red protected you, Blueberry checked on your health, Edge provided for you, Sans made you laugh, and Papyrus embraced you as a housemate and friend, sight unseen.

You haven't felt so wanted and cared for since your grandmother passed away.

READ ON AO3

PREV | INDEX | NEXT