#U KNOW THE DEPARTMENT IM THE LEAD OF

[earthtooz]

earth i need to catch up on ur ratio fics (i read some of flower one and i ate that shit up omg) because now the thought of seething annoying veritas being all angry whenever you even look at someone else infests my mind like an annoying worm. i hope you know this is what those fics do to me

x : EQUILIBRIUM : *+ﾟ

in which: ratio navigates through the perplexities of pining after you.

warnings: fluff, 1.6k words, intelligentsia guild!gn!reader is kind of a social butterfly and talkative, ratio is so pathetic i love him T^T, alcohol, aventurine feature! my writing isn't the best for this one i apologise :,D

a/n: thank u for the ask mhie!! i wanted to say that you enabled me perfectly because ever since his release, i've only ever thought about this one scenario where he's staring at reader from afar and absolutely seething because he's not the one talking to them xD sorry for taking so long omfg and im sorry for turning this into a fic, i just saw my opportunity and lunged at it like an animal rawr

Jealousy and envy are not familiar concepts to Dr. Ratio.

He knows of them, understands the inner workings and philosophical aptitude of both, knowing that they lead man down irrational paths. Yet, for all his years, he has not felt the bitterness of jealousy and envy squeeze him, cannot fathom why one cannot control their feelings and maintain modesty. 

Perhaps, the root of it was whatever Ratio wanted, he received. The only thing he has ever craved is knowledge, and it is available for him with the flick of a page, absorbing even the most complex of theories with ease. Conceptual, mathematical, scientific- not a single school of thought has hidden itself from his vast mind, proven by the many PhDs he has with his name.

Everything fickle that anyone could ever crave has long been his. 

Envious over someone else’s wealth? Money comes and goes, and merely serves as a medium of exchange. As long as he has enough to live comfortably, then he is content. Having too much of one thing can often result in a bottomless pit of wanting more, and material good was perhaps the most evil of all.

Jealous over someone else’s beauty? Compliments and adoration are not an unfamiliar concept to him; one glance at what’s under that stone mask will have others fawning over him instantly. He claims the mask is to protect him from idiots, but perhaps it also serves to shield others from the walking sculpture that is the Veritas Ratio, sharp features and toned body, there is nothing undesirable about him.

In conclusion, jealousy and envy are not familiar concepts to Dr. Ratio. Until he met you.

A fellow member of the Intelligentsia Guild but in another department, you too are a favoured delegate of the IPC, frequently attending the same events and trips as him. Thus, it was only natural that you’d become acquainted and that he’d grow to respect you, hearing about your achievements and dedications as an academic. What was unnatural, however, was the palpitations of his heart, weakness in his knees, paired with an overwhelming excitement to see you.

He’s no fool. These sensations were all symptoms of romantic attraction, but you were a variable uncounted for in the distribution of his life, and he was not ready for an outlier so powerful that it completely ‘skewed’ him over.  

Now, he laments in the corner of champagne parties meant for socialites. He is no lover of mundane interaction but as his contract with the IPC, he comes as a representative of the Intelligentsia Guild. 

These formal events always drained the life out of him, needing him to discard his everyday, flowey, carefree attire for a constraining suit, conforming him into the regular majority. 

He raises the glass of champagne to his lips and takes a small sip, the liquor serves as lubricant to the throat. The smooth finish of the drink is exactly what he needs; talking about the same subject again and again becomes exhausting, and even though it is in his role criteria, Ratio cannot wait to leave.

But he won’t, because he hasn’t seen you yet. 

Glancing around the room for the upteemth time this evening, you still have not entered his line of sight, and he leans against the bar in disappointment.

“Oh, why the long face, Ratio?” A mischievous voice coos from beside him. “It’s not a good look on you.”

“Spare me your sentiments, gambler,” Ratio spits back.

“As you wish. Not enjoying the party?”

“If you have something you wish to say then please, spare me the pleasantries.”

Aventurine laughs, all boisterous and extravagant, gold jewelry clicking against each other, as if coming alive to match his jovialness. He really is a personified headache. “You’re looking for someone, aren’t you?”

The scholar tenses, muscles tugging at the stiff fabric of his blazer, but that micro action was enough of an answer for Aventurine.

A gloved hand points up to the mezzanine of the grand hall. Ratio spots you, leaning against the railing whilst conversing with another man, one briefly talked to earlier. If he didn’t like him before, then he certainly didn’t now.

Handsome face turning into a small scowl, it’s almost as if you feel the intensity of a certain, golden stare, causing you to turn around and find the source, eyes eventually landing on the figures of a coworker or two. A brief smile graces your face before you turn around again, turning your back on the two onlookers.

Ratio loathes what he sees, and something within him yearns to be the only man you look at, causing an ugly, green sensation to brew within him; a concoction that can only be labelled as ‘jealousy’.

He just cannot figure out what other men have that he doesn’t; what is making him secondary in your heart? Why do you give these... idiots the time of day when you could be with him- talking to him?

It's all too perplexing, you make him perplexed.

“Well, go on, doctor,” Aventurine prompts. “Place your bets before it’s too late.” 

The purple-haired sighs, pushing himself off the bar. His feet take him to you, up the velvet-carpeted stairs. His gaze never strays from you, ensuring you stay within his line of sight and eventually, he stops right behind you, acting as a looming shadow.

His gaze is cold, hoping to pierce through your conversation partner so he can finally cower away and make room for Ratio.

“Doctor!” You exclaim, surprised by his sudden appearance. “When did you get here?”

Taking a hint, the stranger finally begins to peel himself away. “It was lovely talking to you, Y/n. I hope this won’t be our last conversation.”

“Likewise, have a lovely evening,” you farewell him with a small smile as the other party turns and eventually disappears from sight.

Finally. Triumph and victory settles in Ratio’s chest when your attention is directed solely at him, but you look up at him with arms crossed and a raised eyebrow.

“I swore I saw you downstairs moments ago, how did you get up here so fast?”

“I simply walked a normal pace, is that so abnormal?”

“I suppose not,” you huff, rolling your eyes. Veritas allows himself a glance over of your outfit, admiring you. “Have you talked to anyone interesting?”

You are by far the most interesting part of the evening, he thinks.

“Hardly,” he murmurs. 

“My guess is that you’d prefer to be grading student papers?” You muse, leaning in closer.

His heartbeat spikes. “Well, that is hard to say. Which would you prefer?”

“As much as I love my students, I need a break from the same thesis statements regurgitated in different formats. I’d rather be here.”

“Then that is my answer too.”

You give him a look that says ‘really?’, clearly not believing his aloof statement. Truthfully, he would rather be here because here is where you are, and he’d like a few moments with you before returning to the gloominess of his office. The hour hand is only at 11, what’s the rush?

Then, your eyes flicker to his neckline and they widen briefly, as if finding an issue with his tuxedo. “Hold still,” you command, hands coming up to rest on his sturdy chest.

You’re fixing his tie, he realises, feeling the fabric tighten ever so slightly as you adjust it. When you’re done, you flatten out the material with a satisfied smile, running your hands casually over his chest, and he hopes you cannot feel his heart jump. How do you touch him so easily, as if it means nothing?

“It was crooked,” you explain, “now you are looking as sharp as ever, Doc.”

“Thank you,” is the best thing he can sputter out.

“No problem, we need to have our genius looking proper at all times!”

Ratio is too stunned to speak, he fears that if he tried, whatever leaves his mouth will result in a various garbles and attempts at sentences.

Thankfully, you haven’t run out of words to say. “Oh, I have yet to get a drink! Will you accompany me? I could go for some refreshments right now.”

He nods and extends an arm for you to hold, and you happily accept it, holding onto his bicep as you ramble on about a conversation exchanged earlier in the night. If you were anyone else, he would not have cared in the slightest, but instead, he listens intently, taking slow and measured steps downstairs so you are comfortable.

In this bubble, the esteemed scholar is content. With you so close, it feels as if everything has clicked into place, like the scales of fate have finally balanced and equilibrium has been achieved. He could listen to you forever.

Unfortunately, all good things don’t last, because a face Ratio doesn’t recognise approaches you, hand resting on your shoulder. Judging from the manner of which they address and talk to you, you are close, and you don’t shrug them off. Next thing he knows, you’re ripped away from him, dragged into the sea of people.

You spare him a glance over your shoulder, as if apologising for the sudden disruption.

Still, he sighs, left behind with nothing but fervent symptoms of love clinging to his being, squeezing him for all he is.

© EARTHTOOZ 2024, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.

[boyfhee]

FAIR AND SQUARE › lhs

SYNOPSIS › one thing about life— it's unpredictable. for example, you made a note to yourself about not associating too much with heeseung for your own peace of mind, letting him stay as the academic rival slash classmate that he is, instead of allowing him to be something more, except one thing leads to another and you find yourself face to face with the said man with your feelings all over the place. a lowkey confession leading to a mere competition, let the game begin.

WORD COUNT › 20.2k

GENRE › academic rivals / friends to lovers, mutual pinning because they're just competitive and oblivious ft in denial, fem reader, quite the 'he fell first but she fell harder' thing eye guess . . .

WARNINGS › mentions drinking, sheds light on family issues ( mostly on the reader's side ) bruise and injury, slightest of angst, arguments, suggestive ( fourth section, towards the end ) profanities, let me know if you spot more

PLAYLIST › tune in for a better experience

NOTE › i love this fic with all my heart and lungs, even more. anyway, i'm sorry to academic rivals fans, this doesn't have academic blood and gore, as quoted by my dear mai. SPEAKING OF MAI EVERYONE THANK @maiverie FOR BETAREADING THIS FIC!!!!!! im not lying when i say i wouldn't have finished writing this yesterday if it wasn't for her, like thank u for ur super helpful review that got my brain juices flowing :< luv u fr. ALSO both heeseung and reader are taking post grad course so of course, they're aged up ( no ages specified ) have fun reading.

I. BANE OF EXISTENCE

one thing about life— it’s unpredictable. 

for example, you’re in the library writing and reading papers on the topic you love, the one that you’re supposed to enjoy and the one that will become the reason behind your earnings in the near future, but here you are, sitting with a headache and a cup of coffee on the side. who knew the subject you've liked since grade one will betray you and become the potential bane of your existence? not you, surely enough. wednesday noons are for basketball matches, which explains why the library and hallways are quieter and emptier than usual. even the teachers make time for the tournaments off their busy schedules, it’s understandable— your university is known for having one of the best sports teams in the league, and the basketball team being the defending champions does nothing but fuel the pride of students and staffs as if they’re the ones on the court, trying to get the ball in the basket.

you wouldn’t say you don’t like being a part of the crowd because you’ve been to the badminton tournaments and know that watching matches is as interesting as playing, if not more. you just don’t have the time to attend any. with assignments piling up and exams ‘round the corner, you’d rather spend your last two months of the semester studying instead of yelling at the bleachers. you can always get the recordings if you ever feel like watching one, as for the results, the word goes around faster in your department than anywhere else, all because of one of the students being on the team. 

you try focusing, you really do, but your cup is just as empty as your brain and your phone is going up with notifications. you don’t see the point of miyeon spamming the gc with updates on the match when everyone in the group, except you, is with her, watching and cheering alongside. muting is a choice which you choose not to do, and the reason is between you and god, to be honest. long story short, it’s the lack of motivation clogging your thought process and the realisation that your friends are out there enjoying themselves unlike you is blocking any means of logical thinking. a day or two spent not studying wouldn’t make you fail the classes, and even if the guilt is pooling inside, you pack your stuff and walk out of the library, making your way to the indoor basketball court. 

the screams grow louder as you approach, each step reminding you that you still can go back as you choose to ignore it. exams can wait, you tell yourself, a day to myself can’t. your mother would tell you to take breaks and go out instead of studying all day, but being on top is an addiction. it’s no good, you wish other students would believe you, it’s a struggle, on the top, at the bottom, everywhere. you expect to turn a few heads as soon as you walk inside, which doesn’t happen, but you expected it. you don’t watch matches, this could easily be your third or fourth one, and the first basketball match, to be more specific. once you realise that everyone is busy watching the plays instead of noticing who comes and goes from the court, you make your way up to the one friend you manage to spot amidst the crowd— sung hanbin. indoor bleachers feel more compact than the outdoor ones. you've been to the football match last semester, courtesy of miyeon, and everything being outdoors really helps with the crowd and noise. 

“didn’t expect to see you here,” hanbin stands next to you, offering you a sip or two from his drink, which you politely refuse, eyes fixed on the court as if it was the home they’ve been searching for. “i thought you hate heeseung,” it isn’t until he takes his name that your gaze averts to heeseung. you don’t even know why hanbin would outright assume you’re here for heeseung. in fact, that man’s name didn’t even cross your mind until he was mentioned.

“hate is a big word, ‘bin,” your words are more of a whisper laced with hesitation, as if you aren’t sure of what you’re saying. hate, actually, is a very big and heavy word. despite its constant usage with your friends, you realise the weight it holds and the impact it has. hate and dislike— they’re different and yet similar enough to be used synonymously at times. not by you, of course, you have a clear distinction between the two, and as of now, you don’t know if what you feel for heeseung is a mere dislike or pure hatred. “i just don’t like him,” 

when he successfully shoots a three-pointer, you come to the decision that you definitely don’t hate him. heeseung is, more or less, the typical all-rounder straight-A student, the jack of all trades and fortunately enough, the master of all as well. he's the student teachers use as an example, the son parents wish for, the boyfriend people wished they had. lee heeseung is many things, and one of those is being the reason why you have the second highest score in your department instead of the first position, unlike how it used to be two semesters ago. 

heeseung transferred departments about thirty weeks ago, from chemistry to bioinformatics. it had been surprising on your side because not many opted for bioinformatics until they were certain of their goal. the course in itself is vast, like an ocean of several different fields and each and every one of them opens a door to a different outcome. bioinformatics isn’t something students picked overnight just because it had the vacancy and they didn’t like their initially chosen courses. as fun as the subject sounds, it demands consistency and time, something that heeseung lacks. you had seen him attend classes the first few weeks regularly, and then the ghost of him started sitting on the empty seat that belongs to him. skipping classes, arriving late, delayed submission of a couple of projects— you knew he wasn’t here to stay. it was to pass time, or whatever, you couldn’t care, didn’t care, not until he started acing the tests, practically dethroning you from your infamous ‘perfect all kill’ title that you had for getting nothing less than a perfect score, most of the time, give and take a few here and there. 

you still get good scores, amazing even, full score in theory and the same in practicals. it’s going well in lab manuals and project works but heeseung seems to get a perfect score in those too, something you started missing ever since he came into the picture. perhaps, it was something in the way he phrased his essays— you hoped it was. rumour has it that heeseung used to be a literature student, which could explain his outstanding english skills and his eloquent way of speaking. you even looked up his debate videos on youtube only to find more evidence on how skilled he is in public speaking. 

but above all, heeseung is, actually, just a really damn annoying student, quite literally the bane of your existence. he’s always set on stealing people’s spotlight during lessons, with you being the people, obviously, always answering questions with information that’s unrelated and probably even unnecessary. and for the shortest time, you even considered taking him off your ‘things i hate’ list because you were no different in highschool. when you’re the top student, it becomes a habit to talk about things as if you know them in your bones and impress teachers. hell, you even had rivals in highschool, although none of them got on your nerves the way heeseung does. basically, he has no reason to call you by weird names everytime you both pass each other in the hallways, or remind you that he’s the top student. ‘this is the vice-captain of the basketball team and the best student of the biotechnology department, lee heeseung, informing you on the up—’ seriously, no one wants to hear him introduce himself like that when you’re around. you’re pretty sure it’s engraved inside your brain with the amount of times he repeats it everyday. minjeong even says that heeseung is becoming more and more like sunghoon, and you would not know how or why because you didn’t attend highschool with sunghoon, unlike her. 

the court flares up with cheers when heeseung goes for a dunk which ultimately leads to their team winning the match, and you reach the conclusion that maybe you don’t hate heeseung but actually want to bang his head against the walls. your eyes follow him around the court, analysing his conduct during the match, the way he communicates so effortlessly with teammates using hand signs or quick phrases, the way he holds the team together when the ball is with him, despite not being the captain. heeseung might be the most unbearable person you’ve met so far, he’s actually just fine when his target is not you. you’re sure any other player is doing just as good but nothing comes close to how you see heeseung. it’s different, the light he is in, it’s unique, incredible, and inexplicably addictive. heeseung juggles between classes and basketball, you remember sunghoon talking about his part-time job when you passed by their lockers the other day. he doesn’t have it easy, you don’t either, but you had those all perfect kills by spending hours in your study while heeseung does better than you while winning matches, making money. 

it doesn’t take you long to realise that what you have for him could be dislike with a hint of jealousy, and you wonder if all the people would react the same way once they know who heeseung really is— a devil behind an angelic face, one who deliberately likes ruining things for you, as if his life depends on it. you still remember the day he personally texted you the wrong syllabus for a test, claiming that it had been updated and the professor had asked him to notify everyone. ‘and as you know, i have not been added in the group chat yet so i’m texting everyone personally,’ he had lied ever so smoothly as if his words consist of nothing but truth, as if lies are something he hasn’t even heard of. kudos to you for studying the original and correct syllabi beforehand, you still aced the test, if heeseung scoring the first rank is overlooked. 

you’re dragged back from your thoughts to the reality when a boy bumps into you while hurrying down to the players, hoping to get noticed. half of the students act like the team is actually a boy-band, you can see them on the front page of every single edition of university magazine. usually, you prefer waiting for the crowd to disperse before taking your leave from wherever you are, but a sudden reminder about the tests over text from your professor gives you a reason to leave early, all to make sure you could catch up to heeseung. you rush your way out of the bleachers once the teams start leaving the court, eyes fixed on heeseung to take a note of the direction he leaves. hanbin gives you a confused look before the words find their way out of his mouth. “where are you going?” 

“basketball shower room,” and your words could give him, and the other people who might’ve heard you, a wrong idea but you couldn’t care less. the goal was to see heeseung before he leaves the campus, which was highly likely because no one has it in them to attend four hours of classes after an exhausting match, not even heeseung, no matter how amazing he is. 

you make your way through the ocean of people, bumping into a few in the process as you make your way to the club room. a silent profanity leaves your mouth once you realise that the club room entrance might be filled with fangirls and boys, left and right, and the thought of shuffling your way out of the crowd to meet heeseung makes you reconsider your actions. heeseung might be a star student but isn’t amazing enough for you to step out of your comfort zone and do things to see him. 

“well, this is surprising,” your voice manages to turn his head towards the door. “thought you’d be busy with your fangirls, lee,” and it is surprising indeed because the hallways are unexpectedly empty with only a few people around. you would say they learnt to give the players their space after a game but that would be a lie considering the embarrassing history of students when it comes to people on the sports team. 

“they’re probably busy with jake,” heeseung responds with a smile, and even though he turns to his locker just as quickly, you could see the smile dancing on the corner of his lips. 

jake is rather a new player, a junior to be specific, and jay personally spent days waiting outside the physics department to get the guy on the basketball team. explains why he’s popular amidst students, he’s talented, good at studies— seriously, you wouldn’t understand how these people manage academics with sports. you couldn’t, and even if you managed to, you would end up passing out every few days. “does it suck to lose your fan-following to a newbie?” 

“not really. i still have you here,” heeseung wouldn’t call it ‘losing’ his fan-following because he’s using jake as bait to escape the crowd of students as quickly as possible. a junior has to make sacrifices, in this case it’s to save heeseung by sacrificing himself to the public. although, saying that he still has you looking for him even though a hundred others aren’t makes him feel better about himself. “no but seriously, what did you come here for?” 

“oh, it’s for the test on friday,” you pull out your phone, opening the group chat with the professor and the students who took the same course. it’s laughable how the universe put you in the exact same situation twice, although with the tables turned this time, and it takes everything in you to not tell him a made-up, wrong syllabi, and do what is rational. “the syllabi was extended up to chapter fourteen, till page three-ninety-seven. they sent it in the group chat this morning but i’m sure you hardly have time even to think about something else except basketball,” 

you’ve known heeseung for two semesters but that’s for the people to say. the truth is, you don’t know him outside what he shows to everyone else. you see him come and go, spot him around the bar with his friends on weekends you pass by it. you know he skips classes and asks students for notes. it’s not necessarily from you, though you’d prefer if he would ask you since you’re the best student in the whole department, after him, as much as you hate to admit it. on some days, you see him in the library, earphones plugged in. if you manage to sneak a glance or two, you’d catch him watching the match recordings and taking notes, you wouldn’t know what notes someone could take from matches. in short, you don’t know heeseung more than how everyone knows him. coming to the shower rooms and notifying him about the test might just be a discreet attempt at striking up more conversations with him, but also, you’re just fine with him being the academic rival slash classmate that he is. 

“yeah, semi-finals,” heeseung shuts his locker close, a sigh falling off his lips just like the water drops falling on his shoulder from the tips of his hair, after a shower. “doesn’t help that they’re at the same time as the quarterly assessments. thank you for telling me even though it means you’ll end up losing the first position to me once again,” and of course, the heeseung you know wouldn’t waste an opportunity to strike up a competition. it would be a lie if you claim to hate it because despite the sour look on your face, a part of you loves these little academic races with him. heeseung makes you strive to do better, he’s like the driving force you lacked which made college a whole lot better. after all, where’s the fun in getting a perfect score with the bare minimum effort, without some challenges knocking at your door? 

“what can i do, i’m all about fair play,” there’s a subtle shade behind your words, reckoning to the multiple incidents of him ruining things for you. this could take a really nasty turn if you were to resort to his ways, except you won’t because you’re better than him. “good luck, and we’ll see who loses the first position to whom,” 

heeseung wipes his hair before switching to texting on his phone, the smile still adorning his face like a jewel. you assume it’s the delight from winning a match, it’s obvious. his eyes couldn’t help but sparkle at every little achievement, always looking forward to something more, something challenging, that’s lee heeseung for you— someone who knows he has an easier way around things but would deliberately walk down another path and test his limits. shocking how it took you one basketball match to see the passion he has for things he’s interested in, that he’s more than a sport jock or a straight nerd, he’s more than someone who takes courses to pass time, more than someone who is just a show-off.

“heeseung,” the dislike, the hatred, the envy, it might all be a lie. “well played today,” because in the end, there’s a minimal possibility that you’re leaving the room with nothing but the slightest of admiration for the guy who is nothing but an obstacle between you and that first position in upcoming finals in two months. 

and it would be a lie too to claim that your words didn’t catch heeseung by surprise.

II. RIVALRY, FEELINGS, ETCETERA. 

it has been a little over one day since heeseung’s conversation with you outside the shower rooms, twenty-seven hours to be exact. twenty-seven hours of him hearing the same last words over and over again, twenty-seven hours of him failing all and any attempts at straight thinking and twenty-seven hours of him not thinking about anything except you. all of it ends up in three hours of practice and not one good shot from heeseung. the sighs and snickers from teammates fill the court every few seconds— truthfully, they never leave. heeseung is simply too lost to pay attention to them. 

“heeseung, you good?” a pat on shoulder from jake and the words following soon after manage to pull him out of his spiral of thought, even if it’s for a brief second. 

“he’s not, won’t be anytime soon,” sunghoon replies as if the answer was on the tip of his tongue, waiting to be revealed. “yn came to watch the last match, after all,” there’s a smirk on sunghoon’s face, heeseung can tell it in the intonation of his words. 

jay pauses just seconds before going for a layup, joining the conversation. “wait, she did?” 

“yep, saw her standing next to that hanbin guy or something,” 

“mate, you cannot be acting like this over a girl and that too, four days before finals,” this conversation, as a whole, is beyond jake’s comprehension. a part of the reason could be because he joined the team late, thus missing out on a huge chunk of internal jokes and gossip and goes amidst the players. and no amount of reasons can convince him into thinking that it’s fine to act out-of-character before important matches just because your crush showed up at one of your matches. 

“she’s not just some random girl. she never attends matches, but she came to watch my match,” heeseung clarifies as if the reasons behind his antics are valid and acceptable. “you wouldn’t know how i feel right now,” 

“you’re on cloud nine, we know, your crush gave you the attention you’ve been lacking but trust me, she would ignore you just as efficiently if she sees you perform like this,” 

“she’s not a crush,” and despite it being a well known fact amongst the basketball team that heeseung has a thing or two for you, he always refuses to accept it. one can say it’s the pride thing. you barely even talk to him unless it’s about studies, and your conversations are mostly along the lines of who outdoes whom in tests and assessments. moreover, everyone knows heeseung is the reason why you’re the second best student in the department— as much as you hate to admit it, again— because he transferred and flipped your world, probably even dribbled around with it like a basketball. a word goes around every few days about you glaring at him in class, which is not true, you’re instead focusing your eyes on something in an attempt to think. he just happens to sit right in front of you and be the object of focus. heeseung might as well believe that you hate him, even though yesterday’s conversation was far from how people talk when they hate each other, and his assumptions could account for the constant words of denial that fall off his lips. 

jay snickers before landing a hook successfully. “yeah, and i’m a pigeon,” 

“oh, shut it, jay,” heeseung turns to look at the other boy. “she’s just someone i admire. have you read her essays? her papers? god, we’re a year away from graduation but she’s already writing mind-blowing papers, one of them was even published in the monthly issue of some magazine. she’s already on her best performance and still tries to do better, always down to guide juniors with lab work and also is on the research team for the paediatrics department at asan medical centre. all this, and she studies all day. if i were her, i’d pass out. i can’t go a day without entering the court,” 

“and he says he doesn’t have a crush oh her,” sunghoon rolls his eyes, it’s like if he heard another line of excuses from heeseung, he could see the back of his skull and have a look at hs big, fat brain. 

“because i don’t? you guys never had someone you admired so much that they practically became your role model despite being in the same year?” unlike other things that heeseung does, calling you his role model has a reason. first, it can give him a reason to talk to you. heeseung is almost convinced that you hate him, and if this persists, it would get harder and harder for him to approach you, but with the lie— half lie— of you being his role model and so wonderful that he couldn’t help but admire you from afar while trying to overcome his social anxiety gives him a reason to talk to you. plus, it sounds plausible, he doesn’t understand why his brother says it’s bound to fail. 

the second reason and more to do with his friend group. no one in his friend circle is capable of keeping a secret— jay ends up spilling tea unconsciously, jake tells one person who he trust and that person turns out to be the most untrustworthy person ever, beomgyu, well he’s on the team but telling him would be like standing on a stage and announcing to the whole campus, and sunghoon, he’s the mother, he cannot digest food without disclosing secrets. even if it’s common knowledge that heeseung has a tiny crush on you, denying it in front of the whole campus everytime one of them brings it up helps him with his reputation and fortunately, ends up keeping it a secret. besides, he’d rather have people tease him for calling you his role model than having a crush on you. 

“i surely don’t have someone i admire to the point i read all their papers and know each and everything they’ve volunteered for,” jay argues back, set on proving his point. “tell me what am i gonna do knowing that she’s on the paediatrics research team?” 

“i think this is the most i’ve known about yn ever since classes started and that too, because of heeseung,” beomgyu chuckles, earning a side eye from heeseung in the process. 

“enough, let’s get back to practice,” heeseung intervenes in an attempt to change the topic. he does not want his closest friends making fun of him for liking someone— it’s supposed to be human nature to have a crush. 

“you get back to practice because you’re the only one fucking up because of your silly little crush. i’m done, jay, call me when we’re having a practice match because i need to attend theology or my professor would write me up,” taehyun passes the ball to sunghoon, the latter yelping in surprise at the sudden yet successful catch. 

“i don’t have a crush—”

“of course, let’s get you back to practice,” jake cuts heeseung off mid sentence, moving back to take his position as sunghoon passes the ball to heeseung, who, as expected, misses the catch due to lack of concentration.

it’s going to be a long day for the team. 

. 

. 

.

“a little birdie told me you went to see heeseung in the shower rooms?” are the words you hear as soon as your classes are dismissed, miyeon walking up to you and hanbin discussing the set of questions your professor distributed just a few minutes ago. 

“i didn’t go into the shower rooms, i was outside, near the lockers,” and there’s a difference. to be in the shower room implies you were there in the shower, which definitely gives rise to several wrong ideas of different levels. specifically, you didn’t even enter the locker room. you were outside, leaning against the door, watching heeseung as he walked freshly out of the shower, a towel around his neck, you both strike up a small talk. yeah, that was the scene, not with you in the shower and whatever miyeon’s imagination leads to after that. 

“so you did go!” she claps her hands together as if it’s a celebratory occasion, turning her head to look at the boy next to you. “what were you saying about yn not having a crush, habin?”

“it’s not a crush, miyeon,” and it’s true— heeseung is not a crush. he’s a classmate, a rival, an over-qualified and impossibly competitive student, someone you would want to take your time to study. “what, i can’t even go to tell a classmate about the updated syllabus for a test now? i would’ve done that for anyone, not just heeseung,” 

hanbin sighs, packing his bag. “sure, but he’s in the groupchat. he could’ve checked it himself,” 

“um, i doubt that,” you’re preparing a powerpoint in your head, multiple slides on why you needed to do what you did. “he’s busy with basketball and i know how he gets when the matches are around the corner. don’t you remember how he skipped two weeks of classes straight because of matches last semester? and it’s the finals this time, i don’t think he even opens texts about anything that’s not basketball. i mean, he responded to my messages six days later because he was busy with practice,” 

you say it like you’ve known heeseung for a decade and have been through the ups and downs with him. you wouldn’t care about who does what in the classes, if it’s a paper plane flying right over you, landing just second to the first row of seats or if it’s someone being brave enough and playing music during lectures. biology, in your opinion, is a subject for those who are serious about doing something unique while staying in the academic field. you don’t encounter troublemakers often, once a blue moon if the heavens make a mistake. on other days, it’s quieter than a library, emptier than cemeteries at night. 

to think your life as a biotechnology major got interesting after heeseung switched majors is astonishing and equally debatable. 

“i don’t see why i should remember all that about ‘just a classmate’ but thanks for telling,” and before you know it, hanbin and miyeon are out of the class, on their way to wherever their next stop is. seriously, they’re having it easier than you. they go to games, movies, drink on weekends— something you haven’t had a taste on ever since the year started. somewhere, you could be blamed for your hectic schedules. studies, lab work, and thesis, they suffice for all the stress a student in post graduation studies can handle. volunteering and writing papers is on you, things wouldn’t have been arduous if you had decided to move slowly, one step at a time. sometimes, the hunger for more leaves you starving— quite literally. 

you spend an hour or so in the classroom along with a few other students, going through the same old routine of yours— watch videos, take notes, transfer them to your document in your own words and make it sound as innovative and convincing as possible. heeseung would be better at this than you. you’re exhausted to the point that accepting your defeat to him doesn’t even faze you anymore. he used to be a literature student, had english as a side course as an undergrad, he’s bound to be better than making essays sound they came right out of shakespeare's drafts, phrases and metaphors that would put fitzgerald to shame. 

you didn’t care about what went down in your classes until heeseung came along. call it craziness or the weird impression you have of students in your field, heeseung is far from the typical biotechnology student aiming for a postgraduate degree. he skips classes, plays basketball as if studies are a side business, and yet still manages to ace every test like an all-rounder. he shouldn’t even be in classroom, he should be in the labs, being the most important subject of studies. there are days you think of him as a social experiment— how quickly can a robot piss off a straight-A student with its impeccable skills— of course, the subjects wouldn’t know it’s a robot but you do, you’re almost convinced he is one. there’s no way he’s the top student with the amount of effort he puts in. one would claim that he studies after classes, at home slash dorms, but you can bet your life he doesn’t. there have been numerous instances when you’ve spotted him in the background of someone’s picture at a bar. he’s always with people, he has a humongous friend group, god knows how someone can live like that. at first, you were convinced he isn’t real, as worrisome as it sounds, and if he is real then he needs to be studied. 

which leads to what you’re doing right now— making your way to the basketball court. you don’t know how or why you’re doing it. you started with your studies, ended up thinking about heeseung, and now you’re on your way to the basketball court. although, it’s not half a bad idea, now that you think about it once again. 

your mind goes all the way back to when you watched him play for the first time, which was just a day ago actually. you don’t know anything about basketball, you don’t know much about heeseung either, but there’s one thing you’re sure of— heeseung is class and heeseung on the court, they’re different. you’ve noticed the way he clicks his pen relentlessly out of nervousness when he can’t solve a question, the way his back tenses up for a fraction of a second as soon as he’s asked to explain something. you’ve seen the hints of fear in his eyes when he asked you for notes last semester just three days before exams, scared that he would fail. heeseung isn’t sure of a lot of things and basketball isn’t one of those. 

“you’re not practising?” you ask him when you swim out of your thoughts, watching him climb up the bleachers and sit next to you. the court seems much better when it’s empty, free from the loud cheers of spectators, but that could be just you. 

“i was, as you see, but i saw you up here and thought it was time for a break,” you could see his teammates shake heads at him in disappointment, proceeding to continue with their practice. “what’s up?” 

you don’t respond to him and instead, take your time watching the others practise their shots. you watch the way one of them, who you think is taehyun, goes for a dunk, credits to hanbin for telling you names for a few shots. next to you, heeseung shouts out a tip or two for the boy for him to have an easier and effective approach at the said move. heeseung is good at dunks, you’ve heard it from students, you’ve seen it in the last match as well. just one shot was enough to tell you how good he is at it, it’s like basketball flows in his veins, like he can close his eyes and still manage to get a basket. 

your eyes ghost up the court and shift to him— there’s a content smile on his face, a relaxed posture as if there’s nothing for him to worry about. he takes a sip from his energy drink, you wonder if he, or anyone from the team, even gets time to have their meals. the expression on his face, it’s something you’ve never seen on him during lessons. it takes you back to the match, how he looked on court a day before, certain of every move he made, every step, every breath, without doubts, no second thoughts. you’ve done enough lab projects with heeseung to know how his hands shake when he’s preparing a slide or extracting a sample from a centrifuge, afraid that one wrong move and he would mess up the efforts of everyone in the group. that hesitation is nowhere to be seen on the court, gone like it has never existed. as if lee heeseung, the star student and player, has never had an encounter with nervousness and hesitation in his life. there’s a thin line between studies and sport for him, you finally realise it after much consideration. maybe, you’re going beyond your boundaries and making assumptions about a guy you barely know, even if you would never voice all these thoughts to him, you think you know the reason why there’s a different him on the stage when the ball is in hands.  

“how did you realise that you like basketball? you know, like it enough to devote so much of your time and have it alongside studies?” because even if biotech is something he’s studying and wants to make a career in, you guess that it’s just a source of satisfaction. in your eyes, through your perception, basketball is what makes him truly happy. 

you don’t know why someone wouldn’t pick satisfaction over happiness, especially when it’s coming with its hands full of opportunities to grab that bag.

“eh, i don’t have a sob story about it, if that is what you’re hoping for,” he chugs down the contents of the can before crushing it to the slightest, eyes squinting at the opposite wall before they move back to meet yours. “i never had to sit and think about basketball and studies, you know, as in how am i going to manage both of them. it just happened. i started playing basketball in middle school and it has been with me ever since,” 

heeseung’s side of the story is simple— a mediocre guy who was introduced to sports by his older brother and now, it’s one of the most important things in his life. middle school heeseung preferred staying in and playing video games instead of going out. in fact, middle school heeseung resembles you in all the ways that make him different from you right now. he has been good at learning and remembering things, he takes liking to things quicker than others do. basketball was like for him— easy, quick, fun, like a way to release all the stress after a long day at school. in heeseung’s story, there isn’t a main character who helped him choose the path he’s walking right now. instead, all he had was his family who introduced him to the various aspects and opportunities, and he simply ended up joining hands with the ones he liked, deciding to not let it go before the dead end. 

“i want to have that passion for things,” a soft laughter falls off your lips, it’s an attempt to make your sob story look less pitiful. “i used to paint and play piano— but painting, mostly, was really good at it. i learnt how to draw before i learnt how to tie my shoelaces. i couldn’t go a day without painting, but then highschool happened, i had pressure to do well, expectations from friends and family, had a dream outside painting, and now, i haven’t painted in years,” 

unlike heeseung, art started as more than just a side business to you. it’s not something you were introduced to in the middle of your life but rather is something you grew up with. you can blame or credit your mother for making paintings and having them in almost every corner of your house. it’s one of the reasons why at five years old you were beyond fascinated at all the patterns and colours. no one would’ve guessed that science would manage to sweep you off your feet right from the first grade, given the way your hands danced a duet to their own melody along with a paintbrush, as if each stroke has a conscious life of its own. no one would’ve guessed that your mother would tell you to stop painting and focus on studies, neither would they have known that she would become the reason why you no longer feel the same way about art. as stated before, life is unpredictable— because no one would’ve guessed that sitting here on the bleachers with heeseung and sharing a piece of your life would water the seeds of doubts in your heart, the ones that bloom at the sight of him.

he thinks your story is sad— with all due respect, without sarcasm, of course. it’s the best he can say. “i think it’s more of a ‘connection’ thing. you think you’ve lost the connection but you simply need to pickup a canvas and some colours to relink, if you get me,” because heeseung has had somewhat of a same experience, with music, and sitting front of a piano to play one of sibelius’ symphonies after senior year highschool finals was all it took him to find his lost interest in music. even though it’s nothing more than just a hobby, even if it's just something he considers as a way to pass time, heeseung knows how it feels to let go of something that is an integral part of one’s life. 

“it has always been about timing, heeseung,” you shake your head, trying to prove him wrong using your own arguments. “you think i haven’t tried painting again? i still have art supplies stacked up in my cupboard. it’s all about timing. when you like something, you only get a few chances to make sure it stays with you for a lifetime. how many people do you know who have given up on their hobbies because they claim to have lost interest? the thing is, the interest is still there, it’s the inability and fear of not being able to do it again. if you timing is off, no matter how much you try, things won’t work, and what you love will end up becoming a closed chapter of your life,” 

a pause. he sits still, eyes admiring your face while his mind is busy replaying your words in the back of his head. heeseung wonders how valid they are when it comes to people. he likes you, despite the constant denial which is only for show, by the way. it doesn’t take a scientist to read him. reading him isn’t even close to rocket science, he doesn’t understand how you haven’t caught up even after being incredibly smart. he has seen you hang out with hanbin— heeseung hates that guy, by the way. there’s no solid logic, it’s just that hanbin seems to be around you all the time and heeseung thinks of him as a leech sucking blood off its host. heeseung would never admit but it’s just his jealousy playing tricks on him, and even though it doesn’t look like you have any romantic feelings towards that guy, it would be fucking embarrassing for heeseung lose you to a guy who isn’t even half as qualified as him. ( yes, he is judging characters based on academic qualifications, no heeseung wouldn’t explain why )

“i like you,” and so, he lets his feelings win for once, deciding to let his heart take control instead, closing doors to any room for rational thinking like it never existed. “you said it was about timing, about trying hard enough and having only a few chances, perhaps, just one bullet, and i’m shooting my shot right now. i don’t want to remember you as a closed chapter of my life,” 

it would be such a waste of chemistry if you end up becoming just a closed chapter of his life. heeseung has done his research, more like reading tons of books and watching hundreds of movies to understand the potential that two academic rivals have. no one knows this, not even his closest friends, but heeseung’s favourite genre might simply be enemies to lovers and living that trope doesn’t sound as bad when it’s with you. he has spent hours thinking about the number of productive library dates you could have, working on projects together and brainstorming about the next biggest revolution in the RDT world, changing the public’s outlook at genetics forever. it sounds stupid and makes him sound even stupider, even as a lost cause, but heeseung doesn’t care. in his mind, it’s the best date someone could have. to live and become successful together, it sounds like a perfect plan to him.   

truthfully, you have always been a part of heeseung’s future, near or distant. he always always pictures you in his life, standing next to him during graduation, bidding goodbyes at farewell, exchanging shy greetings at reunions ten years later while reminiscing about everything he did to irritate you, that would sound embarrassing a decade later. your presence will always be significant to him, he just hopes to remember you as something more than just a rival, just a classmate he never really got to know, just a person he spent his two years hating upon, just a crush he didn’t get to confess to. 

the catch— heeseung has already started picturing his future and you are not even sure of your present— and while he is looking at you for an answer, you’re lost inside your head, looking for words to articulate. 

heeseung is someone you planned to stay away from for the rest of your university life. him stepping into your life already costs you a lot, namely: dropping in ranks and losing your infamous title. his actions cost you the time you could use to study, which is actually upon you because you can simply ignore him instead of spending hours on thinking about his hows, whens and whats. heeseung was supposed to be the academic rival slash classmate that he is, instead of allowing him to be something more, but beyond rivalry, feelings, etcetera. you knew the way you felt about him, even though you couldn’t be as certain as him, or even to claim you see him the same way he feels about you.

turns out, heeseung has always been sure of certain things in his life. 

“heeseung, i’m—”

“not sure? busy? stressed? i know you have a lot of things going on right now. take your time, study for the finals, finish your papers, sort out your own issues and then come back to me. i’ll be waiting,” it’s like he’s not only good at studying but also at reading minds, because heeseung seems to have guessed a part of exactly what you’ve been thinking. call it timing, jay calls him to get back to practice just a few seconds later— a perfect excuse to leave. “looks like my break is over,” 

you sit speechless, watching him walk away like an opportunity that just walked out of your hand. it feels like a slight defeat, like a test you failed when you could've scored better, if not a full score. it's funny because this wasn't a competition, you weren't rejected, more like you rejected him, but it still feels like he has the upper hand. it's funny and equally annoying because heeseung is supposed to be nothing more than just a nobody, somebody you aren't even supposed to spare two thoughts on, but here you are sitting with the guy with your feelings all over the place. 

“heeseung,” you stand up, your voice making him turn to look at you, both of you ignoring the sight of his teammates standing motionless in their positions, too stunned at your voice reverberating in the almost empty court. “let’s do this: if you manage to stand first in the finals, i’ll date you,”

a lowkey confession leading to a mere competition. his lips morph into a smirk, the ones he'd pass you before tests, an open challenge offered directly to you. “and if i don’t?”

and you mirror the same smirk back at him, you weren't going to back off simply because it's about the person you possibly have a crush on. “i become just a closed chapter of your life,” 

let the game begin. 

III. LIAR AND THE LOVER

despite heeseung’s sudden confession, you’re doing quite well, taking it better than expected. you had your moment of confusion back when the words of proposal fell off his lips— anyone would. after all, it’s lee heeseung we’re talking about. you can only imagine the saddened faces of his fangirls once they hear about him confessing to you.  

“jay told me you made a bet with heeseung?” hanbin’s question catches your attention as soon as he steps into the cafe, managing to turn a few heads towards you in the process. 

“you know jay?” 

he sits next to you, pulling out his laptop in a hurry. you can guess it’s because of his essay that’s due before six in the evening, one he could’ve written last night instead of getting wasted at his friend’s birthday gathering. “we share history, also, that’s not the answer to my question,” 

“it’s not a bet, ‘bin,” your words aren’t half wrong. “just a silly game, y’know? i didn’t even expect him to agree,” frankly, even you don’t know why or how you came up with such a bizarre idea in broad daylight. usually, people get bouts of excitement or embarrassment while confessing or being confessed to, but in your case, you jumped over the fence and made a proposal that you have only seen in fiction. 

“nah, no way you’re setting up your whole love life for failure and calling it a silly game,” the disappointment is evident in hanbin’s voice as his fingers danced over his keyboard, typing with a speed that could leave the trains behind. well, people tend to get like that when you have an assignment due and the deadline is just a few hours to go. you guess that he’s too busy to even listen to your reasoning, which is appreciated considering you have no reasoning as for why you did what you did. 

“you made a bet with heeseung,” you turn your head around, making the boy next to you do the same in the process. it’s miyeon— you should’ve seen it coming, honestly. your actions have consequences, as always, and one of them is dealing with her non-stop interrogation as if you’re the prime suspect for some gruesome crime and every question answered wrong opens gates to capital punishment. sometimes, you wonder why she didn’t go with studying law instead. 

“how do you know?”

“everyone knows, yn. it’s all they’ve been talking about,” she sighs, sitting opposite to you while taking a look at hanbin’s laptop. “even the football fanatics are talking about attending the game, god, hanbin we better hurry that day or we’re not getting a seat,” you should’ve seen it coming, honestly. miyeon might not be the most social person, but she definitely is the most updated. nothing escapes her, every tiny incident reaches her ears one way or another, and if not, then she just finds out about it using her sources, given you don’t know about her sources. it’s one of the reasons why you’re almost convinced that she runs a shady side business alongside her career in bioengineering. 

you take a sharp breath, going through the bunch of papers arranged in your file. “it’s not that serious. he confessed to me and i said i’d date him if he manages to secure the first position in the finals as well,” 

“you did that knowing he hasn’t been studying because of games while you’re studying like your life depends on it? there’s no way he’s going to be first, and everything aside, it was a wrong fucking move to play with his feelings,” play with his feelings— a pause, you don’t like how it sounds. you’re not playing with his feelings, that’s far from what you’re doing. it’s a game, a competition, new to your friends but you and heeseung have always been familiar with it. there’s an unspoken rule to test each other’s limits. the last time you and heeseung did something like this, it resulted with you writing ‘lee heeseung is smarter than ln yn,’ in bold on a sheet of paper and putting it on the notice board for the whole campus to see. in your eyes, it's history repeating itself yet again. sure, there is something else at stake, but the rules are the same, and you don’t know why your friends are acting like you’ve done something terribly unethical. 

“no one’s playing with his feelings, miyeon, and i know for a fact he’s making time to study for finals,” you clarify your side, slight annoyance evident in your voice. “besides, it doesn’t matter. it’s not like this is serious, i only did this to buy time to figure out my feelings while the game gives me a reason to study and not get distracted. you know how i get when i lose focus,” 

that could be the reasoning behind your actions, of course. even while sitting in a cafe with your friends and having a conversation that is about to make your blood boil, you’re thinking of heeseung in the back of your head. his words play over and over again like a broken record player, the image of him on court or studying pops up in your mind every now and then. obsession is a disease and you have it bad. it’s crazy to be thinking about someone so much without being absolutely floored for them. 

“so you’ll date him despite the outcome?” hanbin drags you out of the well of your thoughts, a question that leaves miyeon flabbergasted. 

“if i manage to figure out my feelings then of course,” a chuckle falls off your lips. “i’m telling you guys, it’s not that serious. i’m sure he knows it too,” and you’re really confident about this— it usually never ends on a good note. 

“and if he doesn’t? what if it’s serious for him? yn, you never know how one thing might affect someone, and feelings are not something to gamble on. you should’ve told him you need some time to think instead of giving him a false hope or whatsoever,” it’s now that you start having second thoughts. the next two hours go by amidst silence, a few small talks blooming here and there, but dissolving just as quickly within the ticking clock of deadlines for assignments and exams. 

it doesn’t take a scientist to know when miyeon is upset, for she isn’t the best at masking her emotions. through the sneaky glances at her that you’ve stolen over time, you can tell she’d rather spend the evening in silence than talk to you, which is a challenge with herself because she’s really talkative. it takes two to sing a duet, two to play and game, two people to make a relationship work. heeseung and you— the two of you are enough to make decisions for yourselves, decide what’s right and wrong and, something about miyeon questioning your choices doesn’t sit right with you. 

too many cooks spoil the broth, it’s the principle of your life, the words you’ve been following to this date. it was your decision to have a few friends instead of a fifty— quality over quantity, as one might call it— and there has never been a moment when you regretted having a handful of people to call friends. instead of consulting too many people about your major in university, you simply went with what your parents and homeroom teacher suggested. life has been good so far. the more the better is something that isn’t applicable in your case. instead of telling everyone about your dilemma regarding heeseung, you decided to keep it to yourself, eventually opening up to heeseung when the time comes. you’re doing just fine on your own, it doesn’t make sense to you why a third person’s opinion is making you doubt your decision making abilities that you’ve been so proud of. 

this is not a gamble, you tell yourself, it’s a fair play. you gave him options, he made the choice, it’s consensual. you didn’t force him into this game, he didn’t pressure you to respond, it’s a harmless competition that’s bound to have a positive outcome. you even spend a good fifteen minutes wondering if you should go back to heeseung and take it all back in case he finds it insensitive to put his feelings on the line. doing it in person seemed impossible so you resorted to texts, typing and deleting your message before giving up altogether. in your head, this was an okay decision. a sweet confession, a person with unsure feelings, a harmless competition. 

you hope it doesn’t backfire ten times worse. 

. 

. 

.

three days later, you find yourself on the way to basketball club rooms once again. you checked the court, it was empty, and your only option was to check the club slash locker rooms if you wanted to see heeseung. okay, first things first, you don’t miss him— maybe a little, but it’s because you miss hearing his weird ass answers in class even though they’re right. heeseung just has an unique approach to things, in other words he simply knows how to buy time and go in detail about things he’s an expert at to impress the professors. however, that doesn’t seem to be the case for him because he has approached you six times in the past three days, asking if you’re free to hangout. 

you like to think he misses you or that his requests were because he wanted to make sure you don’t study and lose to him, either could be true. knowing heeseung, he’s capable of going both ways. whatever may be the reason, you turned him down all six times, and it’s not because you have something against him— of course, you don’t. that’s common knowledge by now— your reason for not hanging out with him is studies, as expected of you honestly. the bet aside, you had way too many chapters to learn before exams and all heeseung ever does is take up your headspace everytime you sit down with your books spread open. avoiding him in thoughts wasn’t possible so avoiding him in person was your last straw. 

which leads to the present : you rushing to heeseung, again,  not because you miss him but because you need his help, though one of the reasons could be that you feel bad for turning him down six times. you can hear muffled laughter from a distance as you approach the club rooms, a bang against one of the lockers, a loud profanity that follows afterwards. their humour is beyond your level of understanding. 

“heese— oh, um—” you greet and turn away just as quickly when you realise that one of them is shirtless. it’s obviously heeseung, you can’t mistake his face for someone else. and you’re guessing he’s the last one to come out of shower because everyone else is dressed, maybe he’s someone who likes to take his time showering— you seriously need to stop thinking before your imagination goes bonkers. “sorry, can you come outside for a second when you’re ready?”

another round of laughter follows, more like teasing remarks because you can swear you heard a few of them refer to you as his girlfriend, and it gets you a little flustered, you won’t lie. you even hear one of them yell ‘ooh, get it, heeseung,’ as heeseung walks out, fixing his t-shirt, responding back with his middle finger up at whoever made the comment. 

“hi,” his voice isn’t much louder than a whisper, eyes fluttering between you, the floor, and his teammates who pretend to not look when you peek inside. there’s a soft smile on his face— it’s cute, you think, and then rethink what you just thought. heeseung is, well, not cute— usually. he’s good-looking, handsome, hot, sexy, even, since you’re on the topic of finding adverbs that suit heeseung. cute is rarely one of them, you don’t think you’ve seen him as flustered as he is right now— rubbing his nape, a tint of pink on his cheeks, avoiding eye-contact— that’s far from the heeseung you’ve been seeing for past two semesters. 

“hi, can you send me the pdf of the extra set of questions that prof sent last week? i think i accidentally deleted it while clearing up my storage,” you get straight to the point, trying not to waste much of your precious time. “i could’ve texted you but figured you’d be too busy with practice to check messages,” you remember what happened last time; he took six days to reply to your texts. you’re quite a patient person otherwise but in this case, you’re in dire need of questions to practise for tomorrow’s mock. 

“ah, sure, give me a minute,” and he pulls out his phone, scrolling through an ocean of files and documents to look for the one you need. you do think he’s gorgeous though, it’s a well known fact that he’s stunning, but you think this look of heeseung surpasses the other ones quite easily— hairs wet after shower, partially covering his forehead, a white t-shirt that’s slightly wet near the shoulders because of the water dripping down— you wish he’d at least dry his hair before catching a cold. “actually, i would have replied to your texts if you had— oh, yes, there you go. do you want me to email it to you or…?”

“oh, just texts would be fine, thank you,” 

“done,” a pause, you feel his eyes on you as you go through the pdf to take a brief look at the contents. “do you want to go for a walk? or are you getting back to studies?” at this point, you’re sure that question is a way to tease you about your obsession with studies. heeseung may think you’re overdoing it because you want to win, but it’s no more than the normal amount of hours you spend studying. he never paid you any attention to care about that. 

“no, i’m done for today, actually,” and that’s a big fat lie considering you were planning to solve some questions and revise two chapters before leaving the campus, but it’s fine. you feel bad for rejecting him six times either way. 

never in your life did you imagine that you’d be going on a walk with heeseung. it’s nothing serious, you just didn’t think there would be a day where you two would have normal people conversation while doing normal people activities instead of trying to disparage each other based on grades and academic performances. to think about it now, heeseung isn’t half bad, it was all in your head. it’s not like you had vile assumptions about him, you did find him annoying and way too prideful— anyone like him would be, actually, and heeseung is still quite humble about his achievements because if it was someone else, they sure would have made it everyone’s problem. 

actually, heeseung is insufferable as well. you remember your first encounter with him, first and so far, the worst— in the laboratory. you and heeseung sat next to each other and when the professor asked him to briefly explain his experiment, you realised it’s oddly similar to yours. you had accused him of cheating, like any sane person would, which led to him getting two scores less than a perfect. he only lost one score because of you, actually, and that too because you were professor’s favourite and heeseung was new to the department. the other score, you don’t know where he missed, but that incident led to heeseung deleting your powerpoint thirty minutes before your presentation, which led you stealing his notes and selling it some junior through an undercover twitter account, which led to the professor asking you to help him with notes before exams, and everything ultimately led to the realisation that heeseung is actually quite decent if you behave with decency as well. the give and take is serious for him, because he gave you notes and so, you had to take his offer of going on a walk. even though it seemed like you had a choice, a part of you knew it was a mirage. you would’ve ended up on a walk with heeseung one way or another. 

“i come here whenever i’m tired or just not feeling well,” he says and you wake up from your daydream of memories you shared with heeseung. the way he phrases his words makes it sound like he has brought you to one of his most secret locations, one that no one knows except taehyun, probably, considering they’re close friends, but in reality, it’s the playground you pass by every single day on your way from your apartment to university. 

“oh, are you okay? are you nervous for tomorrow’s match?” you continue, deciding you shouldn’t ruin his favourite place for him. honestly, no one would’ve guessed that lee heeseung would come to a children’s park on bad days. 

“actually, this walk was for you, you looked like you’d pass out if you spent another hour in front of books,” and you’re done, standing speechless with your eyes wide open at his words that he says with a victorious smile on his face. “you should start taking breaks, yn. it’s not a bad thing to go home earlier when you’re tired,” 

he’s right, oh, you know he’s absolutely right about everything he just said, from passing out to going home. a part of him probably even feels glad to have you out on his little walk with him, you’re getting your well deserved rest, thanks to him. heeseung might even ask if he can walk you home considering you’re ‘done for today,’ which is very thoughtful of him— but what does this make you? a liar? miyeon was right, you’re gambling, even though it’s not that serious. so far, you’ve lied about being done with your studies and the bet you made with heeseung because at this point, it’s more like a prank, except it’s not funny and that it might end up with him getting upset with you because tomorrow is basketball tournament’s finals and you’re here wasting his time, all because you lied. 

a liar and a lover, on a date at children’s park— match made in theatre club, you’d say. 

“are you sure this is not your way to manipulate into not studying and losing to you, just so you can date me?” you try to play it cool, knowing very well that it can be one of his tricks or whatsoever. after all, it’s the same heeseung who made you trip in front of your class just three days after being transferred. 

“i was being genuine but it doesn’t sound like a bad idea,” of course, it doesn’t. he gets to win, after all. “can i walk you home?” just as you had guessed. 

“i would love to go home but my bag is still in the library,” you had considered taking it with you, actually, but dismissed the thought once you realised you had to come back to the library and continue with your studies. albeit, you’re not studying, that’s on you for lying into oblivion and giving into his requests.  

once again, you two are back to walking, this time back to the university campus. it’s nice, having a walk with heeseung, it’s sweet, slow, comforting, like slow music flowing around and engulfing you in its arms. the unsaid words are weighing on your shoulders, you can feel the pressure, but it’s not awkward. above the busy hustle of the city and blaring horns, it’s a quiet world with heeseung, it’s nice, like a warm hug after a long day. you didn’t think you had it in yourself to spend a minute next to him without overthinking and possibly starting a banter. you didn’t think heeseung had it in him either, to make a walk feel so close to home.  

“so, how are you coping knowing you’re going to lose once again?” and, it’s back again. everything is a hoax actually— his looks? a trap. his smile? a trap. it’s all a facade because once he opens his mouth, nothing but horseshit comes out of it. 

“very well, in fact, because i know i’m the one getting that first spot this time,” call it overconfidence but you really do think you’ll get your title back this time. you’ve been studying well and hard enough, solving questions and going through every extra set of notes and exercises your professor sent. although, you would claim to beat heeseung had you been prepared or not because it’s fun messing with him. 

“i’d rather have you show some mercy, in that case,” before you know it, you’re already standing in front of the library. “academic defeat and a heartbreak, it already sounds painful. i hope you go easy on me,” it’s sarcastic, of course, all these saccharine words of confessions made you forget how he is under the layers of smiles and winks that adorn his face. a session full of silence follows, the comforting tranquillity morphing into something tensed as he steps closer, your breath getting caught up in your throat as your mind dysfunctions— it’s the effect he has. 

“heeseung,” you put a finger on his lips— the only thing between him and you, the only thing helping you stay sane and composed at the moment, because only you know the struggle of pulling yourself together while standing inches away from heeseung as he grabs your wrist and plants a soft kiss on your finger before removing it from his lips. 

“why, that’s unfair. you get to see me anytime you want while i have to wait because you’re busy studying, you even get to see me shirtless, and i can’t even get a kiss?” and you hate the look in his eyes, you hate how close he is standing and how it makes your heart go crazy. this isn’t even the beginning and you hate how you feel like you’ve already lost, and you hate how confident he is with every breath he breathes against your lips. “just kidding, see you tomorrow,” 

and you hate how this is where you realise that you’ve fallen deep, and you’ve fallen hard. 

IV. PLANET TO A SUN

heeseung has been thinking about the walk for an hour and twenty-seven minutes— actually more, ever since the moment he got home last night, but that is how long he has been practising for, eyes on the ball but mind revolving around you like a planet to a sun. you had texted him about a rule this morning— no kissing before finals. actually no kissing before we start dating, lee— your exact words. they have been holding him back from thinking straight, even made him practise an apology while looking in the mirror if in case his actions offended you in any way. lost in thought, heeseung manages to get another shot in. that’s twenty-third in a row ever since he stepped on the court, which is unbelievable, even for him. 

“is it just me or did heeseung’s performance improve overnight?” jake looks up at jay, fastening his shoelace, a chuckle escaping his lips that goes unnoticed. 

the latter offers a hand to jake, helping him stand as they share a laugh before jay passes him the ball. “well, of course it will. he has to impress his girlfriend today at finals,”

“she’s not my girlfriend,” heeseung grunts almost as if hearing you and the word girlfriend in the same sentences cuts ten years from his lifespan. he knows it doesn’t, he’d kill to call you his’. the reason behind his edgy behaviour is your text and the weird rule you’ve inserted in an already weird bet— it’s not like he minds it, the bet, obviously. heeseung definitely minds not getting to kiss you for the next few weeks. 

“yet,” jay clarifies, emphasising enough for the world to understand that his words are supposed to be in italics. “she will be if you score more than her in finals, which i don’t think is possible because unlike you, she has been studying all day everyday. i don’t know how she’s still alive,” and jay isn’t half bad student himself. juniors in business have his name residing on the tips of their tongues. he simply thinks you’re a freak for being in no clubs and not participating in anything that doesn’t involve studying. 

“she’s the top student for a reason,” jake adds. 

“i am the top student,” and hearing his friends call you the top students hurts heeseung’s ego a little bit. crushes aside, you’re his rival before his girlfriend, and you’re not even his girlfriend. you’re basically just a rival. “also, it’s not hard to study all day if you’re used to it,” 

and jay scoffs in disbelief. “right, you would know something about it, lee i can’t go a day without playing basketball heeseung,” 

“hey, everyone,” your voice reverberating in the court is what stops heeseung from responding to jay with a snarky remark. “just wanted to wish you all goodluck. i really hope you guys win the tournament or else, it’s going to be hard for heeseung to deal with two loses after i beat him in finals as well,” 

heeseung rolls his eyes in disbelief, you hear taehyun exclaim that he has been team yn since the very first day, a claim that few others proceed to back up, especially sunghoon, with his own lore of how he prays everyday for you to win the bet with heeseung. you’re honoured to receive such support, to some extent. a part of you still wishes for the whole thing to be a secret restricted to just heeseung and you but again, it was your fault for placing bets in court, in front of the entirety of the basketball team to witness, even their coach. 

“you’re a little too confident, don’t you think so?” he smirks, taking a few steps towards you with the ball supported between his arms and torso. “let me know where you’d like to go for our first date,” and it turns out heeseung is just as confident about winning the bet as you, perhaps even more. you are not surprised, being defending champions does that to people, or so you believe.

“mhm, let’s have you score a date first, lee,” you would have loved to talk more but decide to bid your goodbyes as soon as hanbin’s message pops up on your phone, the little scowl on heeseung’s face going unnoticed the moment he sees his name on your phone screen. heeseung would never in his wildest dream confess to being jealous— it doesn’t even make sense for him to be jealous of hanbin because he confessed to you, and you seem to like him back. his worries are pointless just like the useless art projects his art teacher used to assign in middle school. 

your fingers dance on the keyboard of your phone as you reply to hanbin, the subtle taps synchronous with your steps with you rushing across the quadrangle, taking the nearest flight of stairs to the library. you wanted to spend the day at your apartment since classes are suspended for the rest of the day on account of the match. however, hanbin managed to convince you into coming to the library to help him with a few assignments here and there. you’re not opposed to studying on days-off, in fact you think it’s better since you get all twenty-four hours to yourself instead of investing any of it in classes. the match gave you an excuse to call in for a break, or an excuse to take your time choosing the outfits as if you’re the main character on such a big day. 

the librarian gestures to you to slow down the moment you almost avoid slipping on the tiled floor, in the process of holding the door frame to stop yourself, an embarrassed apology makes its way from you to her as you spot hanbin in the further corner with his airpods plugged in. your first instinct is to scare him from behind but the thought leaves your mind as soon as you remember that you’re in a library, and getting kicked out on a day that has been treating you well so far doesn’t sound so smart. 

so, you settle with approaching normal, instead of pulling random stunts, pulling out the chair opposite to him quietly to not make any sounds, mumbling a soft ‘hi’ as he takes out one of his airpods. “where’s miyeon?” 

“sick, she’s skipping today’s match as well,” hanbin replies, eyes fixed on the notes he's copying from the laptop to loose sheets of paper, before looking up at you with another question on the tip of his tongue. “are you two still not talking?” 

“we did, none of us brought up what happened that day, though,” you shrug as if it doesn't bother you anymore, as if you don't want it to bother you more than it already does.

miyeon and you have known each other since university, she was a senior in undergrad course who was forced by financial circumstances to skip one academic year, thus rejoining in third year along with you and hanbin. seeing her was less frequent while she was still a senior, although you're not sure if you've spent more than three days away from her ever since postgrad school started. a heavy tension masks all your conversations with her, over texts or in person, and even though you're trying to act like the small talks with her don't hurt you, a part of you is starting to miss the best friend you used to talk to all night, about wasted matters and sharing useless gossip.

silence fills in for the lack of words between you and hanbin and you allow it to do so, deciding not to disturb the decorum of the library anymore. you scroll through your phone mindlessly, there’s nothing to look at except people going crazy about the evening's match. you even manage to stumble upon a thread of arguments featuring students of your university and the one the team is going against. it’s all empty threats, seriously, ‘kys’ and ‘ur mom’s in my bed’ aren’t even insults at this point. they’re funny, sometimes, but you’ll never understand why or how they ended up being insults. ( honestly, you don’t see the potential ) 

“are you serious about heeseung?” a crack in the ice, hanbin's question catches you off guard, with a number of questions running back and forth in your mind before you settle with the one to respond with in return.

you blink in confusion. “i guess so, why?” 

“nothing, it’s just i never expected it to be him, y’know, considering your history,” you think it's unavoidable, questions along these lines, they would've been asked sooner or later. truthfully, even you didn't expect yourself to fall for heeseung.

your history, what even is there to call history except blood and war? both you and heeseung have been up each other's neck from the moment your gazes collided. it sounds like a stupid beef between highschool students, almost embarrassing now that you both are nearing post graduation. with all the days that you’ve spent thinking about ways to get on his nerves, or worse— ruin his projects, it wasn’t just you who resorted to ruining each other’s hard work— no one would have known you and heeseung would ever end up on this note, with him chasing you and you pinning for him, all under the blankets of a silly bet.

“well, as i always say, hanbin, life is unpredictable,” there’s a smile dancing on your lips, a dazzling hint of factuality in your eyes. “besides, he’s a nice guy behind all the annoying things he does. i think he's pretty serious about me, or us, too,”

hanbin has noticed the way you smile at your phone. it doesn’t always happen, only when you’re talking with miyeon or a few friends from highschool, now heeseung ranks up on that list as well. he’d be lying if the uneasiness doesn’t bother him, it’s bound to surface when he remembers all the nights you spent complaining about heeseung. actually, the rant session included hanbin, you and miyeon, but she would rather go to sleep than listen to you complain like a child for hours on roll, leaving you and hanbin driving the conversation. he has lost count of the amount of times you’ve ended up crying in the process, or the amount of times he has hung up on you only to show up at your place late at night to make sure you’re doing okay, and the nights you two have spent watching movies and falling asleep on the couch, followed by the mornings gone by with miyeon being salty over the fact that none of you invited her to your impromptu nightover. 

the thought of heeseung confessing to you still surprises hanbin, it’s one of the things he deemed as impossible since forever. and he can go, warn heeseung about hurting you, dropping all sorts of threats at the boy. hanbin can go on for hours about how he would make heeseung’s life a living hell if he ever broke your heart. he can prove the righteous friend that he is, but at the end of day, he would always be the third person between you and heeseung. hanbin can only assume so much about you two, not even sure if all of it is right. he can only wish so much for you to have eyes for someone else. 

and so, all he does is shoot a smile at you. “i hope he is,” 

. 

. 

.

the only time you step out of the library is exactly three hours and thirty three minutes later, to sprint towards the basketball knowing that you absolutely cannot afford losing seats in the first two rows. fortunately, or unfortunately enough, you’re not the only student going crazy about the game. you can swear at least a dozen came out of the library right after you, even though all of them may not attend the game.

you’re already running late— well, still twenty minutes early but that doesn’t give you much time to meet the team and secure the front row seats. and meeting the team is an excuse, let’s be honest. you want to meet heeseung, have a quick private talk, kiss him good luck, you don’t know; you wouldn’t. your head is in a mess, behind you hanbin is yelling for you to slow down as you run down the stairs. half of you is worrying about seats and the other half is wording her sentences out for you to say when you meet heeseung, and the team. you can wish them all the luck in the world, after all, it’s the university team and you would love to see them win. the whole craze about sports doesn’t feel real and worth the hype but things start coming full circle when you’re the one watching. slowly, as one would expect, but you are starting to understand why everyone goes bonkers during tournament season. 

“damn, slow down,” hanbin huffs, grabbing your arm for you to slow down. “it’s not like they wouldn’t start without you,” 

“that’s the problem. what if they start without me?” but your legs wouldn’t rest before arriving at the court. you know your words sound funny, painting you as if the result of today’s match depends on you. it feels crazy to be this excited about a mere basketball match, nonetheless you know it’s not the match you’re actually looking forward to. “besides, i’m more worried about seats,” 

“i asked hao to save two for us. he’s friends with heeseung, i think he will do that much for his friend’s girlfriend or whatsoever,” you see him roll his eyes at his own words, proceeding to slide his hands into yours before continuing on your way to the venue, this time a little slower. 

you have heard about hao from hanbin and miyeon a few times. he’s pursuing a masters in music, wants to teach violin professionally according to hanbin. miyeon has even attended one of his recitals last autumn, something from sibelius, if you remember correctly. he is popular, and you see the depths of his popularity as soon as you spot him on the bleachers, surrounded by people left and right, one of them trying to grab a seat next to him before he points at you and hanbin, and the crowd goes mild, ultimately dissolves as the players step in. 

“i didn’t know heeseung had a girlfriend,” you don’t know what you were expecting, perhaps a few words of greetings, hi’s and hello’s since you two are meeting for the first time. anything, except that question. 

“believe me, i didn’t either,” and why even is heeseung going around telling everyone that you’re his girlfriend?        

the court breaks into cheers as soon as the game commences and yet, it feels a little quite. perhaps, it’s miyeon’s absence getting to you. had it been her next to you instead of hanbin and hao— who are busy amongst themselves by the way, talking about anything but the match— she would’ve been eating snacks non-stop, giving you a little talk on every player, like a resume. it’s take her fifteen minutes to give you summaries on players from each team, their achievements, girlfriends and probably even mothers, who knows. although, you haven’t attend many games with miyeon to pinpoint every good and bad thing about her impromptu presentation, her unofficial commentary helped you sit throughout the match. it feels incomplete without her, not just the game but days in general. it’s definitely her absence making your surroundings feel quieter. 

so, long story short, you don’t have a clue of what’s happening. well, you do, a little. you know what a dunk and a three pointer is besides the names of players on your university team, but that basically sums up your knowledge about basketball. all sorts of voices are mingling in the air but you’re busy following the ball around the court with your gaze, occasionally cursing and clapping when the team misses a close basket or scores a comparatively difficult basket. the tension between the two teams keeps rising as the game continues. you notice sunghoon groan in disappointment as one of the players from the opposite team gets in a banked shot from the wings, scoring two points for the team. a part of the crowd goes quieter at jay’s failed attempt to save the score for his team, beomgyu patting on jay’s back while muttering something along the lines of ‘good job.’ involuntarily, your eyes travel to heeseung, whose expression stiffens at the sight of the scoreboard displaying a two-point lag.

a time out call follows as the players move back to their respective ends, and it physically hurts you to see the difference in atmosphere between the two teams, or the frowns on the faces of players on your university team. for a second, you even consider walking down to them as they gather around the coach, grabbing water bottles and towels while nodding at the coach’s words between heavy breaths. you catch jake looking in your direction for a brief second, a smile makes its way to your lips before he responds with one as well, proceeding to nudge heeseung’s arm and pointing in your direction. his actions are left with no response— it hurts a little, although you are aware that anything else falls after winning the match on his priority list— and they get back on the court as the game resumes. 

“they need to catch up soon,” hanbin mutters, taking a look at the clock. and even if it’s just a two point difference, you’re starting to understand why it creates a huge gap. it’s almost like scores on a test. going from eighty-three to ninety then hundred is easier than going from ninety-eight to hundred. greater differences are easier to overcome; for you have so many rooms for improvisation and thus, so many chances at closing the gap. the closer you are to a perfect score, the narrower are the chances and it’s almost impossible to pin-point and work on every single weakness of yours within those two points. you’re pretty sure your words would hardly make sense to anyone else, but nonetheless you understand why everyone on the court looks more attentive, probably like meerkats on the lookout for preys and predators. 

much to your disappointment, the play continues with the rivals dominating the court, giving low to zero chances for the opposition to get their hands on the balls. you even see a few of them trying to provoke heeseung, the latter trying his best to not react but you’re afraid he would start throwing punches if another one of the players passed by him with his middle finger up heeseung’s face. one of them, who you assume is the captain judging from the way he has been directing his team, goes in for a hook, immediately getting blocked by taehyun as the court bursts into loud cheers once again. 

“that was a little too far for a hook,” hao comments, and you nod as if you understand his words and know exactly how a hook is supposed to be. you didn’t even know about a hook until now, and you’re still not sure what it is since all the shots look almost the same to you. 

from that second onwards, it felt as if the control transferred to heeseung’s teams as they transition quickly from defence to offence, making quick passes and running the court, practically catching the opposite team off guard. jay passes the ball to jake, who takes a leap from half court, driving towards the unguarded basket. a quick layup using the backboard, as you hear hanbin name the shot, and basically everyone runs to jake for scoring two points for the team as the scoreboards displays a sour tie. it’s a seemingly easy match after that, especially when the players look like they’re back into the game. sunghoon passes the ball to heeseung who goes for another layup and fails, much to his despair, before going in for a dunk and scoring yet another basket for the team, leading it by two points. you see him passing a cocky smirk at the player from before as jake pats him in the back with heeseung almost stumbling in the process. 

heeseung shoots you a wink before focusing on sunghoon’s words as they get back into position, and even amidst the butterflies you got by his recent actions, you don’t miss the way he stretches his fingers, ring-finger specifically, pointing something about the movements to jay before getting his focus back to the game; and you just hope it isn’t what you’re thinking it is. 

it’s a slow game after that, no points scored, four fouls with two of them back to back, one by each team respectively. the frustration increases on the court, evident in each step taken by the players, groans and sighs fill the atmosphere and get louder than the cheers that have gone quieter once again. it isn’t until a few minutes later that all the players run to the front court as soon as they see an opportunity for a fast break with taehyun taking the lead, passing the ball to jay just a few seconds after, who passes it to heeseung— and call it the lack of efficiency or bad timing, heeseung bumps into one of the players from opposite team, an uneven balance, and falls directly on his right knee, as one of the opposite players throws the ball off-bounds to stop the play. 

the medics take him to the benches, bringing ice packs and everything else before escorting him inside. you considered following him inside before hanbin tells you that the officials aren’t letting anyone meet him, probably until they receive updates of his situations. you bite the inside of your cheeks in nervousness, palms sweating as if you’re about to appear for an exam you weren’t informed about until five minutes ago, or maybe it’s even worse. the murmurs from the crowd or the group of girls behind you, to be more specific, do nothing but make you feel more anxious. zhang hao, being a sports medicine student, tries to give you an insight on heeseung’s injury, telling you that even if he fell directly on his knee and it could result in a patella fracture, or perhaps just dislocation— words that compel you to yell at him to shut up before he ensures that heeseung will be fine. hanbin does that for you, noticing your slightly panicked state, telling hao to talk about anything but anatomy of how badly a simple injury can affect a player, and when sunghoon and taehyun return to the officials with an update on heeseung and a pale face, you knew you had to run to your heeseung as if it’s the end of the world. 

“heeseung,” you breathe out, stepping aside to let the nurse from the infirmary leave before you walk closer to him. the awkwardness between you and other players, namely jay, jake and beomgyu, besides the coach, rings all the bells to remind you that coming here was probably a bad idea. well, of course, you like heeseung and are worried for him, but the tension in the air makes you feel like you showed up uninvited. “are you okay?” 

you ask nonetheless, voice close to a whisper, as you stand at a distance, looking at the bruise on his knee. the smell of antiseptic spray fills your lungs, nose scrunching at the way you could almost taste the diclofenac at the back of your mouth. 

“not really,” he inhales sharply, exhaling a reply once everyone left, knowing they had a game to get back to. “look at you, are you worried for me?”

“i’m regretting coming here now,” liar. and then you let the silence carry the conversation with itself for the next few minutes. you don’t know what to say— what can you say? all you do is sit next to him, hands brushing against his as his winces at the slightest touch. heeseung opened his mouth to say something before dismissing his words with a heavy sigh the very next moment. you almost hold his hand— almost, thinking of holding it ever so carefully as if it’s glass with thousands of cracks, and then you’d kiss it ever so delicately, you did it— almost, but then, it’s just you getting upset over the fact that he played even after hurting his hand.

“so, they’re benching you,” you say in an attempt to strike a conversation, a little conflicted with your choice of words, wondering if he even wants to hear about something related to the match at the moment. 

“of course,” he says it like a matter of fact, a fact whose impact doesn’t seem to touch him. “please tell me they have jeno substituting for me. i’ve barely been getting updates in the group chat,” the least he expected was for one of the substitute players to keep him updated about the game through texts, and heeseung planned to get back to the court until you showed up, taking a seat next to him on the benches in the locker room. you don’t understand why they didn’t take him to the infirmary, and decided to think it’s because locker rooms are closer and if there’s anything heeseung should not be doing right now, it’s moving his injured leg. 

you shrug. “i don’t know, i’ll ask hanbin,”

“thanks,” and even though heeseung isn’t really fond of your friend for reasons that are widely known, at least amidst his friend group, he really hopes hanbin is of some use. 

it’s quiet now. you can hear faint cheers buried in the layers of walls and rooms that stand between the court and the locker room, a few muffled footsteps filling up any spaces left in the air, here and there. you assume it’s his fans trying to check up on him, as annoying as it sounds to you for you’d rather have this moment with him all to yourself. you hear him sigh heavily once every few minutes, trying to ball his injured fingers up in a fist to allow the slightest of moments and ensure healthy circulation, a soft hiss leaving his lips at the sensation of striking pain shooting up his nerves. unlike heeseung, your attention shifts to his injured knee with a faint chill running down your spine as you look at his bruise, which now looks more bluish than it was when you had arrived, signifying the possibly alarming amount of blood that has now clotted in the tissues. 

“you can cry,” nudge him with your shoulders and heeseung directs you to the most disgusted face in return. “what? it’s the finals and you’re injured so you won’t be able to play today. any normal person would sob their eyes out,” 

“i’m not a kid, yn,” he nudges back, a chuckle slipping off his lips. 

“trying to act all cool but you’re probably going to cry yourself to sleep for days, or even weeks,” he holds out his hand for you to hold it as you stand up, an action you give into without opposition, intertwining your fingers with his. there’s a smug smile on your face and he sees it as well, although only you know the way your heart is somersaulting at the way your hands fit his’ like pieces of a puzzle. “i know what you are, heeseung,”

he scoffs at your words, hands still entwined, a lovesick glow in his eyes— it’s your first time seeing this side of him, you’re glad to be one of the people to see it. silence has never felt so comfortable to you. the distant noise from court feels like it rushed on its way to you and heeseung, and stopped at the doors, as if you two are beyond its reach. you might never say it to him, but everything seemingly ceases to exist when you’re with him, and the world feels timeless. it’s embarrassing, cringe, and it’s making your heart beat faster with the way he looks at you. “you need to shut up,”

“make me?” a quick response, one that was supposed to be a joke, a joke which was supposed to be accompanied by laughter and brushed off as another baseless comment, but another second passes as you continue to look into his eyes, and you realise you’re actually considering it— leaning in towards him while giving his hand a light tug to pull him towards you the slightest, your other hand cupping his face as your gaze ghosts up his eyes and settles on his lips. when it comes to him, rationality is out of the window and your lips are on his’ planting the softest kiss at the corner of his mouth before pulling away like nothing ever happened.  

a pause; you could hear the silence ringing in your years, eyes fixed over him as if you’re spilling all your secrets to him, waiting for him to take a hint. “what even happened to the ‘no kissing before finals’ rule?’”

and you realise you had actually forgotten about it, for better and never for the worse, because as you said and as he repeated, it’s all about timing. empty locker rooms, quiet hallways with not a soul around, your hand in his, his eyes on you— the timing couldn’t be better, and you know better than messing up and letting heeseung become just a closed chapter of your life. “yeah, i could care less about that,”

there are a lot of things you could care less about, like the cold metal that stings against your back as he pushes you against the lockers, or the fact that anyone could walk in, any minute; you don’t care, don’t know. his lips are on yours and his hands are on your waist, it feels euphoric the way his lips move in synchrony with yours, fitting like puzzle pieces. heeseung tugs you closer by your waist, a faint gasp escaping your mouth that dissolves immediately into your breaths mingling together. it’s intoxicating and is making you go insane, the way he manages to sweep you off your feet with the smallest of actions and simplest of words— from the very first day. 

heeseung was right, and you as well, it’s all about timing. from the day you first looked at him in a seminar, to the day he switched to biotech— you plan on asking him why because so far, all your guesses seem implausible— down to the day he confessed, leading up to this moment with you pressing against the lockers and his lips against against yours. heeseung sighs softly, cupping your cheeks and tilting your head to deepen the kiss, and you could feel the heat of his breath against your lips when you pull away just when it was about to get better, avoiding his lips when he leans in to chase yours barely a millisecond later. your eyes shift down to his hand, one that has been injured during the game, and you proceed to hold it carefully, brushing your lips over the bruise lightly before adorning it with feathery kisses as his other hand travels down to your waist once again, pulling you closer. “you should go easy on yourself,”

you whisper the exact same words he had told you a day ago, traversing your eyes back towards him while your gazes have a conversation so foreign, as if it’s only for the silence to understand. and it’s quite literally just the two of you basking in silence as he rests his head against the crook of your neck, planting a few kisses here and there before pulling you even closer, as if you were going to disappear any second. “i think, i’m in love with you,” 

and timing be damned— because heeseung confesses to you once again, and then he’s kissing you once again, slowly, sweetly, in love, and timing doesn’t even matter because every second feels right with him. with the same air of delighted indifference he comes to know well in the gleam of your touch and the curl of your lips, you simply kiss him back as if to say, hate to admit, but i’m in love with you too. and timing really be damned because you hear loud rounds of cheers as you feel his shoulders stiffen. a slight disconnection between you and heeseung makes you wonder if he’s thinking about the results of the game, which is inevitable, but this is about you and him, and nothing else. you hear the notifications from his phone go off, hinting that the match is probably over, and you pull him into another kiss, another round of selfishness guised as an outlet for him to forget about the game, another round of messy make outs, tasting the freedom of ignorance. 

and then you don’t hear from heeseung again.  

V. OBJECT OF ALL DESIRES

days without heeseung feel like they’re forty-eight hours long.

you think it’s a disease or some sort of withdrawal syndrome. this isn’t your first time without him, in fact, you used to do just fine without him in your life until you let him in. at this point, it isn’t even about not being able to see him— heeseung has been absent for almost seven days. you even asked jay about him to see if he has been in contact with any of his teammates but much to your disappointment, he disappeared off the face of earth like he never existed. taehyun has constantly been reminding you to not fret too much, knowing that heeseung gets a little dramatic after losing matches. you can take his word, obviously, a friend from highschool would know heeseung better than a girl who started talking to him normally barely weeks ago, although you couldn’t help but worry about him as seconds passed like water dripping down the tap, disturbing the silence. 

you know how losses feel— like a part of you has been taken out and you’re left to bleed. it’s worse when it’s about something you’ve loved all your life. you’ve walked next to losses, hand in hand. when you know you’ve lost something while having it in the palms of your hands the whole time, the feeling eats you inside. you wonder if heeseung is feeling the same way you think he is, even if he didn’t show it a week ago when you had met him in the clubroom, the feeling starts to sink in when you’re alone amidst the ghosts of nobodies. even though he was smiling and acting like the little shit he is, you felt anger and regret in the way he kissed you. there was a sense of numbness dripping down his fingertips in the way they brushed against your cheeks, cupping your face. you could’ve been a sweet escape— it hurts to admit that the emotions weren’t possibly real, but you couldn’t blame him. 

losing a match, to put it in your words, meant failing in a test; and losing because of an injury, it’s like skipping a test you prepared for, because of fever. except tests can be rescheduled for students who missed— a luxury heeseung, as a basketball player, cannot enjoy. even you couldn’t believe your eyes when the students on the forum started talking about the lost match, all sorts of comments going around, though none targeted at heeseung, fortunately. yet, your first instinct was to dial his number— out of reach, the first thing you hear on the other side of the line, and all you’ve been hearing for days now. 

you had considered cutting ties with him, not literally, but as in stopping to chase him as if he’s the oxygen you inspire. you could’ve showed up at miyeon’s place with apologies, her favourite snacks and a brief explanation of why you did what you did, and everything that has happened as the consequences of your own actions. with weekends approaching, you could’ve planned a two-day trip with her and hanbin before the winter snow made it hard to commute— just anything to get your mind off heeseung, since apparently, you weren’t on his mind either. albeit, you end up doing nothing, no trips, no plans to see miyeon, it’s just you and your bruised heart with soju on the side. your mind is way too cluttered with thoughts about heeseung to focus on studying and at the same time, it’s way too empty to try doing anything else.  

so, you simply venture down the hallways, drowning in all kinds of thoughts, good and bad. you can use the time to study but concentration has been far out of your reach ever since the match, or ever since he went underground, to be more specific. the impromptu make out session was probably his last straw— it makes sense. you kissed someone who had been walked out of a match because of an injury instead of consoling them. you let your feelings get the best of you, making everything about yourself yet again. you won’t be surprised if heeseung decides to ghost you for the rest of his life after that; or maybe, that’s not possible since you see a familiar figure sitting in the outdoor basketball court, spinning the ball with it’s axis on the ground in a directionless manner. 

“heeseung?” you notice his back tense at the sound of you calling his name, head down low as if he’s responding with an exasperated sigh. “where the hell have you been? i’ve been trying to reach you— heck, even your friends haven’t heard a word from you in days,”

“not now, yn, leave me alone,” and an exasperated sigh is what it was. 

“look, i know—”

“just, what part of leaving me alone do you not understand?” you try to speak but heeseung cuts you off just as efficiently as he does other things, with annoyance heavily evident in his words. had it not been heeseung, you would’ve left already, for you have more important things to tend to, and you’re certainly not interested in matters you’re not supposed to be included in, if only it wasn’t heeseung, and if only you weren’t crazily worried for him. 

“oh, i understand it clearly, every part, actually, and i also understand that you’re upset and leaving you alone would certainly not be the best move considering the way you went MIA for a week,” and you understand his impulses about disappearing into thin air, wishing the ground eats him up or for the walls to cave in till he’s entombed in them, but a person as smart as him should know taking out helps better than thinking about wanting to vanish. “we can sit and have a talk if you stop being such an asshole about it. i’m down to listen to—”

“fine, what do you want to hear about?” he cuts you off in annoyances, the ball rolls down to a distance like your heart when you see the unfamiliar emotion in his eyes. “you were right. i went home and have been crying myself to sleep. i haven’t been eating well either. i skipped five out of nine mocks and barely passed the four i gave, let’s add that too. is that enough?” 

you don’t like the way he puts it, as if it’s supposed to make you feel better. maybe about the bet, maybe, since he’s supposed to rank above you in finals to get around dating you, and maybe watching him lose is supposed to offer you some sort of relief— seriously, what you’re feeling right now is far from that. guilt, anger, shame, you’re not unfamiliar with those emotions. they eat you inside and it’s not because you’ve met with defeat, it’s because of falling off all the expectations people had, giving them another reason to point fingers and laugh. you could be really over-reacting, but if you didn’t have your parents telling you it’s going to be fine every time you didn’t do well on tests, you don’t know where you would’ve been right now. and you think you can play a part of the same for heeseung, if not all. 

you sit next to him, nose scrunching at the sight of dust on the cement laid with cracks. that’s what you get with an outdoor court no longer in use. you can see little plantlets germinating from the soil, emerging through the cracks, the rusted ring catches your eye. heeseung huffs as you settle next to him, wondering exactly how long the court has been unused for, considering its lack of maintenance. “let’s date,” 

and your words are not what you were planning to say or what should be said in this situation, but they still manage to extract a response from him. “don’t play with me,” 

“i’m not, in fact, that is what i’ve been wanting to say to you for days. of course, this isn’t the best timing, but i don’t know what else to say,” you pause in what feels like embarrassment. too bad, his crush is not good at conversations. sometimes you end up nodding and blinking for five minutes straight before saying anything, after a person opens up to you with tears and blood. “and, i’m not going to tell you to stop acting like a child or whatever because the team lost such an important match and somewhere, you’re blaming yourself for it, which you shouldn’t, by the way. all i need to say is that you still have the next year to make up for what you’ve lost now,” 

second chances come with higher expectations from people along with words that end up making one feel worse about their situation. you’ve already heard a few students talk about how heeseung should’ve been more ‘careful’— as if it was his choice to get injured and lose the match. you know it wasn’t going to be easy, especially with his injury that probably requires him out of the court for weeks, but you hope that amidst whatever he’s feeling, between self-loath and regret, heeseung manages to find himself once again. 

“actually, i’m planning to drop out of the team next year and focus on studies. my parents were already against me playing basketball during postgrad, i’m finally starting to notice why,” basketball could’ve been his entire career if heeseung’s grandmother had not wished for him to go into the medical field. seeing the insides of a person makes him want to empty his bowel from the mouth so biotechnology was his next option. heeseung thought having two hands would give him the benefit of managing basketball and academics together, unlike how his parents had wished for, but his recent mock scores and lack of time devoted to studies is making him question his choices. “and what the hell were you on about dating, by the way?” 

you’re half immersed in your own thoughts until heeseung directs the question at you— brows furrowed, confusion shadowing his face— you realise it’s your turn to do the talking. “oh, you know, dating. i think we should start dating already, it’s quite inevitable after that day in the clubroom,” 

it is evitable, really, but you’re down bad— with all due respect. 

you haven’t been okay ever since you realised that you like heeseung, and you’ve been trying to act normal about it, attempting to not lose your cool-hard-to-get-girl composure— miyeon’s words, and they make you cringe— while the thought of him is eating your brain slowly and gradually, making you go insane. if you were to narrate from where you opened and closed the door at, it would be a slippery slope, you don’t know how someone ends up falling for the person they despise. the yn from a month or two ago would be knowing, you can see her shrugging and getting back to her books, saying see saw it coming. ( it’s miyeon’s fault for making you even think about having a mind blowing chemistry with heeseung ) the you from two semesters ago, when he first transferred, would hate you and call you a traitor, might even write whore on a mirror while looking at it because you fold at the sight of hot, smart and sporty men who are perfect at everything, even at ruining someone’s life, like he’s ruining yours; and the yn from highschool, you see her squealing on the floor because oh, what a fan of enemies to lovers she was— heeseung wouldn’t even have been in the current picture if your highschool crush slash rival liked you back. the current you, well, she’s a goner, and in denial that she’s a goner. too much pride does something to a person, especially when you’re an over-scorer and an academic weapon. you’ve lost all your abilities of letting your guard down even once, refusing to give up and accept defeat, no matter how tortuous it is on the inside. 

the current you is more like a victorian man looking at ankles for the very first time. 

“and the bet? what happened to it?” he chuckles, of course, anyone would, considering the way you’ve lost after placing the bet with utmost confidence slash overconfidence. see, it never ends well, anything, with overconfidence, it doesn’t end well, never have and never will. and you, you don’t learn, sitting with the very well known fact that if you were given the chance, you would place the bet with him again.  

“ah, i didn’t mean to do that, honestly. i was confused when you confessed, it was so sudden, i didn’t know how to respond. the bet was the best i could come up with,” miyeon was right, you could’ve used something along the lines of ‘i need some time,’ that day instead of pulling out a bet right out of your ass, and now you don’t know how to save face. at least the fact that heeseung confessed first makes you feel a little better about yourself. “c’mon, i know you love challenges. i was just trying to see if it gets you turned on or something,” 

and heeseung scoffs in disbelief, eyeing you at your choice of words. “yeah, i feel very turned on knowing my crush dragged me into a bet that i’ve been working so hard for and she wasn’t even serious about it,” 

“working hard? from what i saw, the only thing you worked hard for was basketball,” you raise your brows, a taunting intonation in your voice. a part of you regrets the choice of words, knowing that basketball is seemingly quite a sensitive topic to bring up at the moment. albeit, the slight fear evaporates off when he laughs and dismisses your words and nothings. 

he leans a little closer, hands touching yours. “you never know what i’m up to at home,” 

a pause; you look in his eyes and then at his lips, he mirrors your actions with a smirk on his face. you guess that there’s a second meaning to his words, not sure what, but the look in his eyes tells you something about it. “i think we should get back to when you were talking mental and i was talking you down,” 

and you could grab his face and kiss him with no one around, on the unmaintained basketball court for the grey and cloudy skies to see. you could run your hands through his hairs and tell him how crazy he makes you while planting kisses down his neck. you can kiss him till both of your lungs are begging for oxygen, and that's when you'd tell him how he makes you feel— breathless and drowning, a little insane every time you see him flirting with someone that's not you. you can kiss him till the sun goes down and evening takes over, it doesn't matter if you're outside for the world to see. you would've kissed him if heeseung hadn't leaned back, looking at the ball lying stray at a distance.

“by the way, i’d love to date you,” he smiles at the infinite horizon before looking at you, as if waiting for a response already known.

“yeah, i figured that,” you try to play it cool as if you’re all knowing. it’s partially true, he did confess to you first. “let’s make another bet: no kissing before finals, and the one who ends up giving in first has to buy dinner,” you come up with yet another bet, your voice hinting the enthusiasm for no apparent reason.  

heeseung squints at you, a little conflicted, quite unsure of your words. it sounds like a moment of deja vu, hopefully on a better note this time ‘round. “that’s not even valid, we made out not even a week ago,” 

“let bygones be bygones, hee,” he likes the sound of the little nickname you've given him, unlike bygones, the word you use to refer to your very first kiss with him as if it's an unfortunate memory. “it’s decided then, no kissing before finals and the loser has to buy dinner, and i won’t be satisfied with anything less than a five star meal,” 

you squint, index finger pointing at him, a challenging composure. another chuckle from him makes it’s way to you, lips curling into a faint smile. it takes you all the way back to the day you placed your first bet with him, with head empty and no logic, for the entirety of the basketball team to see, hear, and talk about it as if it’s supposed to be on the headlines of the national newspaper. your eyes spark up in anticipation, wondering if the two of you are down for another bet, one that doesn’t proceed towards failure, hopefully.

“the last time you did something like this, you ended up running back to me and asking me to date you,” he scoffs softly, side-eyeing you with a mocking gaze, quite ready to pull out the receipts if you ever deny his words. you hate how correct he is, all the time, actually, and you hate how you don’t have words to argue back.

lee heeseung, a nobody to you till he switched to your department, just some student who was there to pass time until he started ranking above you on tests and flipped your whole world upside down. you tried to not think about him and failed every time— still beats you why. you’ve never let distractions get the best of you, but heeseung, perhaps he’s more than just a distraction, or maybe he isn’t a distraction at all. he’s like a plant in your garden that you could care less about— should care less about, it’s growing without harming your plants, but it’s creeping against a wall with pretty flowers for show, and before you know it, it’s demanding for all your attention that you offer without second thoughts, unwillingly at first. 

he’s the bane of your existence and object of all your desires, to put it simply and make it sound cliché. you’ve had your moments trying to run away from him, get him out of your head, annoy him to the point he’d prefer flying to the other side of the globe, or that could be you too, anywhere, far from him. but life, for the thousandth time, is unpredictable. when was the last time something worked out exactly how you had planned— can’t remember, obviously, just like the way you don’t remember when heeseung started occupying a corner of your brain, popping in and out at random times and disrupting your thought process. the more you tried to ignore him, the further he housed in your head, the deeper in your heart, closer, within your reach, as if for you to grab his hands and let him enter your side of the world. 

and so, you kiss him again, pulling him towards you with the collars of his jacket. you feel him smile, a triumphant smile, as expected from someone who is used to winning. you don't think you can say you've lost, not at the way he cups your cheeks and tilts his head to deepen the kiss just moments before you pull away. “i always run back to you, don’t i?” 

and you're a child infatuated with their favourite sport, a painter falling in love with strokes, a pianist dancing to the melody of rachmaninoff, a student addicted to getting a perfect score, a player addicted to winning. you trace back to things you like, you always run back to heeseung,

and you always would. 

TEN MINUTES LATER :

heeseung plants a soft peck on your lips. “dinner’s on you,” 

“fuck!” 

[moonlightsolo]

the eastern sea.

summary: fleeing the omatikaya clan means you’re leaving everything you’ve ever known behind. the native reef people of awa’atlu are not very open-minded with your kind- but with neteyam by your side everything will be perfectly fine… right?

pairing: neteyam sully x fem!na’vi/human reader

warnings: spoilers for atwow, metkayina being kinda rac!st (im sorry they’re mean), smooching, angst, nete fighting ao’nung n his goblins for you 😩

note: if none of y’all leave feedback n just simply leave a like i will block u (not really) but give me some attention to feed my ego!!!!!!!

part one | part two | part four | part five

your heart aches. 

it mourns for the life you’re leaving behind; the only one you’ve ever known. the forest, the people of omatikaya, and of course… your home. 

you watch the ceremony in tears with your fingers intertwined tightly with neteyam’s. his grip grows stronger as the time goes by from attempting to control his emotions. 

jake sully has surrendered his leadership as olo’eyktan. the position is to be taken over by another na’vi named tarsem. 

you can’t help but glance up at the sully boy, his round eyes watery but with no threat to spill out onto his cheeks. he’s trying to stay strong for his family, and for you.

your heart hurts for him, knowing that should have been him. neteyam was next in line after toruk makto and that opportunity was stripped away right in front of him. 

jake leads his family down the steps of the tree of souls, ears pointed downward in defeat as the people, your family, cry out from everybody’s departure. some reach out to touch the shoulders of your group as you walk by, a sign of farewell. 

you can’t help but stifle sobs into your free hand, unable to hold back your tears as you walk through the gathering of na’vi. 

neteyam leads you through the crowd, his thumb rubbing circles into the top of your hand as he nods softly as to say goodbye to a few people. 

the boy helps you climb onto the back of his ikran, now almost eye level with you. he pauses for a moment to look into your eyes, a smile barely grazing his lips before situating himself in front of you. 

you take one last look at the clan, the ones who accepted you for who you are. not knowing if this will be the last time you will see them, and to feel the forest around you. 

jake chirps out a rallying yelp, echoed by neytiri, kiri, lo’ak, and neteyam; all signaling they’re ready to depart.  

jake is the first to take off, his ikran gaining speed as it rises in the air. next is neytiri and tuk, followed by kiri on her own ikran, lo’ak on his, and finally, you and neteyam. 

your arms tighten around his slender waist, digging your cheek into the warmth of his back. you stare down at the clan that grows smaller as you ascend higher into the sky. 

eventually you break free from the forests embrace, flying off the coast over the rough ocean. you take the time to admire the entirety of it; the massive trees that usually tower into the sky above you, look so small from up here.. the magnificent flora and animals that live amongst the grass, like the mountain banshees that scatter the wind, making you wish that you had enough time to rastle your own. 

your grip tightens around neteyam, a soft sniffle sounding from your nose. one of his hands release from the reins of his ikran to hold your forearm, his thumb gently rubbing your skin in attempt to comfort you. it takes everything to break your gaze from the forest, taking the easy way out by nuzzling into his back. 

the warmth emitting his body and the soft sea breeze slowly lulls you to sleep, your grip never falters from around his waist but a nap ensues. 

a crack of lightning startles you awake, sending you into a panic. 

how much time has gone by? 

you’re drenched from the rain, but somehow covered in neteyams shawl. a gust of wind catches under the ikrans wing, sending you both in a zig zag pattern in the air. your arms squeeze his waist tightly, almost worrying that you’ll crush him under your vice-like grip. 

the water droplets catch on your lashes, making your eyes squint as the harsh rain hits your bodies at an angle. the dark sky flashes with lightning, loud booming thunder vibrates everything around you. 

as neteyam rounds a large rock, a wave crashes against the stone sending the water upwards into the sky. the sea mist cascades over your body, making you gasp in shock as the salty water splashes over your bodies. 

the six of you power through the storm, the sunrise creeping through the darkened clouds slowly replaces the rain. your head feels too heavy on your shoulders, as if it’ll topple off into the depths of the sea below you. 

you sleepily blink as you come to, the warmth of the sun lays upon your back like a warm hug. “we’re almost there.” neteyam glances behind his shoulder to look down at you. the boy looks equally, or even more, as sleepy as you. 

you lean over the ikran, gasping at the crystal clear cerulean water. you revel at the sight of the colorful reefs and sea animals beneath the surface, hoping you’ll get the opportunity to swim alongside them. 

your eyes catch an island in the distance, a tall grassy mountain sitting by itself in the water surrounded by rocky formations. 

there it is… awa’atlu. 

“it’s so beautiful.” you breathe out with a wide grin, eyes taking in the new environment. 

you unravel from your embrace around him, leaning backwards with your arms out in the wind like a bird. the feeling of the warm wind flow across your body is freeing, as if you’re soaring through the sky like an ikran.  

neteyam can’t help but smile at you and your excitement, but inside, his heart is uneasy. he doesn’t know if the metkayina will welcome his family into their clan, even after this strenuous journey they’ve endured. 

on the outskirts of the island, the ikrans sail over a seabank filled with natural pools. the sea people amongst the grounds holler and yip at the presence of flying banshees breaching their perimeter. 

as you grow closer, you realize that there are thick mangrove trees that cover the entire coast, shading it from the strength of the sun. a loud horn sounds from the somewhere in the village, making your ears perk up. 

all five ikrans circle the village looking for a spot to land. neytiri and jake spot a sand bank, pointing for the rest to follow. 

neytiri is the first to land alongside jake, instantly helping tuk off the animal.

once all the family’s ikrans land on the sand, neteyam sighs in defeat as he steps off, “here we go.” he mumbles with a bite to his voice. he reaches a hand out to help you off, but you’ve already slid down the side and hopped into the sand. 

you stare down at your toes wiggling in the white powder that is so unfamiliar to you. it’s like dirtbutit’s so warm and soft. 

with every yip coming from the growing crowd of reef people, your ears twitch. “on me.” jake gestures to the four of you to follow. neteyam’s hand barely grazes over your lower back to guide you between lo’ak, kiri, and himself- all he wants to do is keep you safe. 

jake walks forward with his hands out in surrender as the foreign clan starts to surround your much smaller group. the amount of eyes you can feel on your skin makes you pull neteyams shawl tighter around your upper body. 

neteyam and lo’ak sign ‘i see you’ to two younger metkayina boys, who surprisingly don’t return the gesture. “easy. just be cool.” jake says calmly to his boys. 

“look! what is that?” the shorter one laughs as he points at the neteyam and lo’aks tails, “is that supposed to be a tail?” the comment makes the taller one laugh as they circle your group like predators on prey. 

the taller one locks eyes with you, making your gaze shift from neteyam and then back to him. “and you’ve brought a sky demon.” 

although it was meant to be a statement, his words sound condescending. you refuse to look back up at the boy, shuffling closer to neteyams back. 

lo’ak is too enamored with a girl to pay attention to what was going on. his round eyes watch her emerge from the water, which makes neteyam slyly smirk at his brother from his evident staring. 

“it is too small. how do they swim with it? that one doesn’t even have a tail!” they keep throwing insults at you and the boys, pointing and cackling. 

“enough! roxto, ao’nung.” the girl scolds the metkayina boys by slapping their hands. 

so that what their names are. 

the girl raises her eyes, making eye contact with lo’ak. “hey.” the younger sully boy awkwardly nods at her, making her giggle and look down. 

you can’t help but stifle your laughter, making neteyam look down at you with the same look. your attention is quickly taken away from the budding romance by three large flying fish leaping over your heads. 

a few droplets of water fall onto your face and before you could wipe them away, neteyam beats you to it by swiping his thumb across your salty skin. 

a large metkayina man decorated in bright colored garb emerges from the sea- the olo’eyktan, the chief. your heart thumps rapidly against your rib cage as he grows closer to jake. 

“tonowari, i see you.” jake signs to him, which the larger man quickly signs back. he makes the gesture to each family member, including you. his eyes linger on you for a moment, before continuing on. phew. 

you know you don’t look like the others. your skin isn’t that beautiful shade of blue, but more resembling your mothers with darker opaque stripes on your skin. 

a woman pushes her way through the crowd, her piercing gaze burning a hole through your clan. she does not look happy at the sight of the forest people on her turf. 

“i see you, ronal.” jake bends down, as well as neytiri. the woman doesn’t reciprocate the greeting. 

“why do you come to us, jake sully?” tonowari questions. 

“we seek uturu.” jake gestures to his family. 

“uturu?” the tsahìk looks baffled by jake’s sentence, and you can’t help but watch her reactions.

“a sanctuary for my family.” jake adds desperately. 

“we are reef people. you are forest people. your skills will mean nothing here.” tonowari speaks, watching his mate weave throughout your clan with a demeaning stare. 

“so we will learn your ways, right?” jake looks over at neytiri for help. 

your breathing stops when ronal weaves through your group, her hand snatches neytiri’s tail to observe it before grabbing tuk’s arm to lift it. 

“their arms are thin.” she moves onto kiri, gripping her tail painfully, “their tails are weak… you will be slow in the water.” 

kiri protests as she pulls her tail out of ronal’s hands, furrowing her brows at the touchy lady. 

the tsahìk grips kiri’s hand to show it off to her people, “these children are not even true na’vi. they have demon blood!” 

her eyes dance over the forest people, before making contact with your own. her face drops as she looks you over, making your breathing halt in your chest as she rushes over to you. 

“and they‘ve brought a demon with them!” she exclaims to her people, her hand strongly grips your wrist, jerking it into the air for everybody around you to gawk at. 

gasps and hisses travel throughout the crowd at the sight of you, making your head hang in shame and tears spring to your eyes. you knew this would happen. they wouldn’t accept you for who you are. you’re considered an outsider, an enemy. 

neteyam hisses as he yanks your wrist out of her grip, his arm protectively wraps around your shoulders to push you behind him. before she could argue with the boy, jake takes a step forward between the three of you.

“look! look!” jake lifts his hand to her face, showing off his five fingers as he flips his hand, “i was born of the sky people and now i am na’vi. her mother was born of the sky people and her father was a na’vi! alright, she can adapt. you can adapt. we all can adapt, okay?” 

neytiri places her hand on your shoulder to comfort you before walking up to ronal, “my husband was toruk makto. he led the clans to victory against the sky people.” 

ronal almost scoffs at her words, “this is what you call victory? hiding amongst strangers? it seems eywa has turned her back on you, chosen one.”  she directs the nickname to jake in a derogatory tone. 

neytiri’s shoulders push back as she hisses at her, causing ronal to hiss back just as angrily. 

as the commotion ensues, you look up at neteyam with a weary look in your eyes. he can’t help but reciprocate as he glances at you, before going back to watching his parents with the leaders of the sea clan. 

“toruk makto is a great war leader,” tonowari places his hand on jakes shoulder, “all na’vi people know his story.” he speaks to his people, “but we, metkayina, are not at war.” 

tonowari turns to jake again, “we cannot let you bring your war here.” 

his words make your heart drop, is he going to turn all of you away after this entire time? 

“i’m done with war, okay?” sully holds tuk on his hip as he tries to explain himself, “i’m just- i’m just trying to keep my family safe.” 

you gulp as tonowari and ronal share a few silent glances before she nods reluctantly, “toruk makto and his family will stay with us,” your body tenses up as he continues, “treat them as our brothers and sisters. they do not know the sea, so they will be like babies taking their first breath.” you wince at the comment. 

“teach them our ways so they do not suffer the shame of being useless.” he stares down jake as the last word leaves his mouth. 

jake let’s out a breath, a soft sound of disbelief. “what do we say?” he softly touches tuk’s shoulder. 

“thank you.” she smiles up at the chief.

“my son ao’nung and my daughter tsireya will show your children and the girl what to do.” he gestures to them by his side. 

“father, wha-” the boy goes to complain, but he’s cut off by the older man, “it is decided.” 

the girl from the water smiles beautifully as she steps forward, almost excited to be in charge. “come. i will show you our village.” 

tsireya leads everybody to their new home over a bouncy net material that hovers over the water. tuk starts to hop with one of her hand holding yours, even if your arms are full of supplies you bounce along with her. 

tsireya stops in front of an empty marui with a big smile, “this is for you. your new home.” 

jake says something you can’t make out, but you can tell by how neytiri drops the rug on the ground that she’s upset. 

the rest of the day is taken up by unloading every piece of luggage into your new home, and setting up for the next day. 

there’s one extra pod, where jake and neytiri will stay, that connects to the main room while the rest of you will find a spot in the large living area. 

once your space is set up in the corner of the marui, you can’t help but walk outside to watch the sun sink into the horizon. you sit down on the bouncy weaved fabric, swinging your legs over the clear water. 

the sun casts a golden hue over your skin, the warmth embraces you and pulls you in. you take a moment to breathe, to let your brain rest from all the commotion going on behind you. 

the sully’s are having a family meeting, one you’d rather not be apart of. you can slightly overhear jakes voice, picking out some sentences. 

“learn fast, pull your weight, don’t cause trouble, got it?” 

you almost scoff at his orders, like they’ll listen to him- especially lo’ak. 

“sully’s stick together.” 

the saying makes your lungs pause mid-breath, and for some reason it makes your heart ache. you know the sully’s accept you, and they will always be there for you, but you’re different. 

you’ll always be different, and today showed you that will never change. 

a hand on your shoulder startles you, making you jump in your spot and looking behind you with frantic eyes. 

your gaze softens when you see neteyam’s face, looking down at you with concern in his eyes. “are you alright?” he takes the quick moment between your response time to sit down next to you, his thigh pressed against the side of yours. 

“i am…” you take a deep breath before continuing, “i’m just taking it all in. trying to think of all the good reasons why we’re here.”

his arm wraps around your shoulders, his forearm hanging over the front of you. instinctively, you lean into his chest, letting out a soft sigh. 

just his touch alone relaxes you, bringing you to a tranquil state, “i’m sorry that they said those things about you. you know you’re not a demon, right?” 

his words make you laugh slightly, “yes, i know i’m not a demon.” one of your arms snake around his back to hold onto him while the other rests on his thigh. 

before either of you could say anything, someone walks up behind you both. 

“you kids okay?” jake plops himself down beside neteyam, making you pull yourself slightly away of his embrace out of embarrassment.

“yes, sir.” you mumble, nodding your head as you sheepishly glance down at your feet hanging over the darkening water.

“it’s going to be hard for you to adjust to this lifestyle, kid. for all of us, but you especially.” jake talks directly to you, making your eyebrows furrow. 

“just let me know if anyone… and i mean anyone gives you any trouble, okay?” jake gives you a curt nod, “thank you.” you mumble out gratefully, sending a smile his way. 

“‘course. everyone is heading to bed now, so i’ll leave you kids to it… just uh.. be safe, yeah? don’t do anything i wouldn’t do.” jake looks at neteyam specifically, before slapping his hand down on his sons shoulder and standing up. 

“dad.” neteyam hisses out in embarrassment, earning a chuckle from him as he walks inside the marui back to his family. 

you laugh softly and lean back into neteyams side, arm returning to the spot around his waist. the two of you sit there in silence as the sky grows darker, listening to the soft waves breaking on the shore. 

you let out a little yawn from your fatigue finally catching up to you. the grip around his waist loosens as your body succumbs to your exhaustion, making neteyam smile as your sleepy head bobs. 

the sully boy gently lays both of yoh back on the netted structure you’re sitting on, positioning your head on his chest with his arm wrapped around your frame. his eyes attempt to fight the heaviness weighing down his eyelids, but it quickly pulls him under with you.

…..

“hey, wake up.” someone’s voice calls in your dream, “are you two alive? wake up!”

you suck in a sharp breath when the cushion underneath you is suddenly pulled out from under your head. the bright sun blinds you, almost making you hiss from the sensitivity. your hands come up to shield your eyes, squinting as you look around at the now brightened environment. 

a large figure steps in front of the sun, casting a shadow on your body and forces the light to illuminate the back of their head. it’s neteyams dad. 

where are you right now? why aren’t you in the marui? did you fall asleep outside?

“are you going to sleep all day or actually get up and do something with yourselves?” jake lectures with his hands on his hips. 

you look over to your side, bumping your forehead on the sharp shoulder owned by neteyam. “ouch.” your voice cracks from your dry throat. 

“your siblings are getting ready to go out in the water with tonowari’s children. i expect the two of you to go with them.” 

oh wow, he’s being stern like a dad.. with you. your brain can barely comprehend any words right now from still being half-asleep. 

“hello?” jake calls out into the silence. 

“uhuuh yes sir. we’re getting up now.” neteyam spits something out, making you scramble to your feet along with him. 

instead of getting up smoothly, you and neteyam’s limbs get tangled together causing you to topple back down to the ground. the bouncy material causes you both to fly into the air and back down on top of each other. 

elbows dig into each others sides, knees clack together, and heads bang with a loud crack. you’re sitting in a jumbled mess, groaning and laughing in pain. 

jake exhales loudly, one of his hands rub his temples in frustration. “just make sure you’re ready in five.” he starts to walk away, “i can’t deal with those two…” he mumbles to himself. 

neteyam is the first to stand after your fit of giggles, picking you up along with him. he stumbles his way back into the pod with you before plopping your feet on the ground. 

you stand tall, stretching your arms high above your head with a much-needed yawn. neteyam takes the opportunity to fit his head in the opening of your arms so he could give you a hug. 

he nuzzles into your neck like a cat, rubbing his nose under your jawbone. “i don’t want to get ready.” his breath fans over your neck, making you shiver. 

“me either. i don’t want to hang out with those kids.” you grumble which makes him chuckle and look down at you, “you don’t like someone?” he asks as if he’s surprised you’re being mean.

the gleam in his eyes makes your stomach flutter- as if he wants to devour you and worship you all at the same time. he leans forward to kiss you, his lips perfectly molding with yours.

neteyam takes his time kissing you, relishing in the fact that you’re here in this foreign village with him. he pulls back with a sigh, making your face crinkle with worry, “what’s wrong, nete?” 

“it’s past five minutes.” he whispers teasingly, making your eyes roll. 

“fine, i guess we should get ready.” you reluctantly pull out of his embrace to search for your things to get changed, forcing neteyam outside for your privacy. 

you can hear muffled conversation from outside the pod, making you hurry up and scurry outside hoping it’s not his dad. 

“come on, you skxwangs. we’re all waiting.” lo’ak gestures with his head for you two to follow him. 

on the way there, you find kiri and tuk waiting. tuk squeals your name and practically jumps on you to hug you tightly. “oh hi, tuk!” you gently squeeze her. 

“come on! they’re leaving without us!” she lets go to follow her brothers down to a deeper part of the water, almost a dock of some sort. 

tsireya, ao’nung, and roxto are waiting at the end, their conversation stopping once they notice the five of you walking up. 

“you guys ready?” she calls out with a dimpled smile. 

“let’s go.” ao’nung and roxto dive into the water first. tsireya sighs, motioning with her hand for everyone to follow as she jumps in right behind them.

your heart skips a beat from the excitement of finally being able to swim, “come on!” you slap the back of your hand against neteyam’s chest before sprinting down to the end of the dock. 

you leap into the air and let out a loud whooping yelp, before crashing into the ocean. once the bubbles around you clear up, the environment around you comes to life. 

the terrain is so different from the forest, being underwater is the first, but there is so much life swimming every where around you. 

you dive a little deeper, admiring the large colorful rocks and coral that decorate the sea floor and roots of the mangroves. that’s where you see tsireya and the two metkayina boys, ao’nung and roxto. above you, lo’ak and neteyam are slowly following with tuk floating right below the surface.

you continue to swim, your smaller limbs somehow keeping up with the natives. especially with your barely healed ankle. you spin around to swim on your back to glance up at the boys, smiling wide. your fingers wave at them, making lo’ak elbow neteyam in the side to look down at you.

after receiving a smile from your nete, your attention is taken away by a plant surrounded by fish that sparkle under the sunlight. you grin as they circle around your head before swimming way, blending in with the rest of ocean. 

you glance up at neteyam and lo’ak and instead of meeting their eyes, you see their feet kicking as their heads stick above the water. 

quickly, you push off the bottom of the ocean to send yourself upwards until your head breaches the surface. 

“you alright?” you breathe out heavily, inhaling some fresh air as your arms wade to keep you afloat. 

“you’re so fast. how are you doing it?!” neteyam cackles at you as his hands reach to pinch your waist. you squeal and send a splash towards him. 

“slow down! we can’t keep up.” tuk whines, making you paddle over to her, “do you want me to swim with you?” you happily offer. 

she nods excitedly with a beam, her arms flying around your neck to hug you. 

tsireya and the other two pop up, “are you guys okay?”

“yeah. they’re just not good at swimming.” you say playfully, earning a killer side eye from neteyam and lo’ak. 

“maybe good at swinging through trees…” ao’nung says cockily, making his sister hit his head with her hand. 

“come on, bro.” lo’ak grumbles. 

“we don’t speak this finger talk.” neteyam motions with his hand, “i will teach you.” she replies. 

“follow us. we’ll go slower.” tsireya smiles and nods before disappearing under the water again. you suck in a deep breath, grabbing tuk’s hand before ducking under the water with her. 

tsireya leads all of you to a shallow sandbar where a few other metkayina are hanging about. 

ao’nung is the first to stand up with the rest of you following behind. he clicks his tongue and whoops to summon three underwater animals. 

“these are ilu. if you want to live here, you have to ride.” he explains to the group as the animals wait for instruction. 

this is your first time making tsaheylu with an animal. your kuru has always been just like everyone else’s, encased in a long braid down your back. 

tsireya leads lo’ak to one, while roxto helps neteyam. you’re left with ao’nung. 

the metkayina boy gestures for you to follow him into the water, “have you ever made bond with an animal before?” he asks. 

“no, i haven’t. this would be my first time.” you say a bit nervously. he almost chuckles, you can tell he holds himself back saying something smart. he leads you into the shallow part of the water, holding onto the animals neck to steady it for you. 

“just climb on. gently.. gently.” he guides you onto its back until you’re straddling the saddle. he holds up the part of the animal where you connect your kuru to. 

the pink tendrils emerge from the ends of your hair, tangling with the ilu’s. 

your entire body goes still as your nervous systems become one, a shock of electricity buzzes throughout your nerve-endings. the animal chitters under your thighs, making you suck in a breath that you didn’t know you were holding. 

you can’t help but let out a happy laugh. you can feel the animals heartbeat in sync with your own, how it’s lungs expand with every inhale, breathing amongst yours.

“there you go.” ao’nung chuckles at your excitement, before slapping the back of the animal. it squaks and takes off, diving deep into the sea scarily fast. 

the pressure of the water sends you flying off, twirling and spinning in as it leaves you in the dust. you kick with all of your might to make it to the surface, wanting to take a deep breath but instead you cough up water. 

the salty liquid burns at your nostrils, making you gag as you try to breathe. 

you make your way back to the sand bank, crawling up onto the wet sand and flopping onto your back. your chest heaves as you try to breathe normally, shielding your eyes from the sun beating down onto you. 

tuk appears above you, seemingly upside down from your view. “are you okay?” her voice is full of worry as she looks over your face. 

you can hear people cackling to the side, making your head turn towards the sound. it’s ao’nung and his stupid friends. you groan as you turn towards at the sky, squeezing your eyes shut. “yeah, tuk… i’m fine.” you breathe out. 

you sit up with a painful whine, gripping your side as you stand up fully. 

tsireya emerges from the water with a panting lo’ak, obviously he’s having some trouble too. “we can get started on learning how to hold your breath.” 

your eyes dart around the area for neteyam, heart starting to race when you can’t find him. 

“where is-?” you’re cut off by two hands slapping down on your shoulders, making you look up at whoever is behind you. 

“where is who, hm?” neteyam flashes his smile down at you, his wet braids drip water droplets onto your warm skin. you let out a relieved breath when you realize it’s him, instantly leaning back into his chest. 

his arms casually cross over your shoulders, holding you into place as he looks around at everyone. “so what are we doing next?” 

“come.” tsireya motions with her hand to follow her. she leads the three of you onto some rocks, climbing over them and dodging the sharp edges with her feet. 

kiri pops her head out of the water, calling to tuk so she can bring her back to the village. somehow the girl already found her own ilu after splitting from the group in the water. you know she has her own way of doing things, especially things that deal with nature. 

you wave to them both before neteyam grabs your hand to pull you along with him. 

tsireya, lo’ak and roxto are sitting in a circle on a flat part of the rocks. you sit down between neteyam and lo’ak, crossing your legs. 

“breathe in…” tsireya puts one of her hands on her chest and the other on her belly as she inhales. you follow her movements, taking a deep breath and exhaling just like her. “and breathe out.”

her hand extends, holding something imaginary in her fingertips, “imagine a flickering flame. you must slow down your heartbeat.” 

her eyes travel to lo’ak who was staring a hole into the side of her face. the boy stills as one of her hands press against his chest and the other against his stomach. “breathe in… breathe from down here. breathe out slowly..”

lo’ak continues to breathe with her instructions, but you can tell he is tense from how close she is. 

“lo’ak, your heartbeat is fast.” she looks up at him. 

“sorry.” he quickly looks away, “try to focus.” she mumbles as she intently listens to his breathing. 

you glance up at neteyam and roxto, holding back a laugh as you breathe along with them. the tension between those two could be cut with a knife.

“let your mind go clear.” 

after going through a few more breathing excercises with tsireya, she decides you’re all ready to practice the new techniques underwater. she summons the ilu’s to the surface, diving into the water and mounting onto the back of hers. 

you take a deep breath before jumping into the water, using all your muscles to pull yourself onto the back of your own. once you make bond with the animal, the similar shiver bolts down your spine. you gently pet the animals head, smiling as you internally calm them down. 

someone’s eyes burn into your skin, making you look to either side of you. neteyam is staring at you with a proud grin on his face, sitting on the saddle of his ilu. he sends a wink your way before diving under the water, making you gasp. 

you’re right behind him, diving straight down into the water. your ilu know to swim faster because you want to catch up to him and this time, you make sure to hold on tight. 

you chase him around a tall root of a mangrove, your hand reaches out to try and grab his tail but the boy is way too fast.

neteyam makes a sharp turn upwards, bolting towards the surface where tsireya and lo’ak are sitting. you roll your eyes and follow, breaching the surface with a big inhale of fresh air. 

“you scared i was going to catch up to you?” you tease him, leaning forward on your saddle to look past lo’ak’s body to talk to neteyam on the other side.

“scared? i’m just too fast foryou.” he replies arrogantly, making you playfully gasp in shock.

“low blow, bro.” lo’ak laughs. 

“say that three times fast. i dare you, lo’ak.” you squint at the younger brother, earning a splash of water sent your way. 

“on that note, i’m going back to the village.” your ilu starts to swim forward slowly, “you guys coming?” 

neteyam starts to follow you, but the other two stay behind. “i’m going to help lo’ak with his breathing. we’ll be right behind you guys.” tsireya smiles at the two of you.

neteyam and you share a silent glance before shrugging and taking off under the water. the two of you chase each other until you meet the waters edge, hopping off in the shallow water and swimming the rest of the way to shore. 

neteyam helps you walk as you tread through the wet sand, laughing and giggling about the day. 

“and then.. and then you went like this!” you motion with your hands as if they were the two of you underwater. your hands cross over each other as you demonstrate to him how you swam together. 

as both of you walk farther up the beach, you finally realize that less and less metkayina are around you. 

you lift your eyes up from your hands, darting around to see them scurry out of your way. as if you were diseased. your heart drops to your feet and your hands fall to your sides, slapping against your upper thighs. 

“don’t worry about them. keep going.” neteyam urges you, one of his hands come up to your shoulder to pull you closer to him. 

“i just can’t believe they’re still so afraid. if i was going to do something to them, i would have done it already.” you huff out in frustration, continuing to walk up towards the village. 

neteyam leads you back to the marui, his arm sits around your shoulders. almost possessively, to show that you are not to be messed with. 

when you walk inside you see kiri, who perks up at your presence, “i was waiting for you! come!” she jumps up from her spot on the floor, grabbing your wrist to pull you out of neteyams grasp. 

“hey! where are you going?” he calls after you, making you turn your head and shrug. 

“somewhere you don’t need to be!” kiri calls back to him, making you giggle as you follow her. she continues to pull you along to the end of the walkway, hopping off into the white sand. 

“kiri, what are we doing?” you softly laugh as you stumble through the sand behind her, “i just need to show you something.” 

your eyebrows furrow, but you continue to oblige. she pulls you down into the clear water, landing on her knees. “look!” she dunks her head underwater, staring at something in the sand. 

you follow her movements, pressing your face into the cool water as you lay on your stomach. 

she points at a tiny pinhole in the sand, almost barely visible to the naked eye. as the gentle waves caress the back of your head, and over the two of you, a little bubble pops on the surface of the hole. 

kiri smiles wide, pulling her head to talk to you. “did you see it?” 

you sit up, resting back on your heels and blinking a few times as you try to understand why she’s so excited about a bubble. “i did.” 

“you think it’s stupid, don’t you.” she sighs, shaking her head. “no! kiri, i don’t. of course, i don’t.” you shake your head, grabbing her wrist to hold her hand. 

before either of you could respond, you see something poking out of the hole. kiri hushes you and plunges her face into the water to watch a little claw extend from it. 

you can’t help but play along, putting your face into the water to watch the creature emerge. until it sees two giant faces hovering above, and scurries back into its home. 

the two of you lay there, feet kicking above the water as you watch the bubbles pop and the creature tease you by popping out and going back in. it’s quite therapeutic actually. just laying here and watching bubbles. 

muffled conversation and splashing grows louder in the water as a few pairs of feet come closer to you and kiri. your head is the first to emerge from the water, blinking away the liquid from your lashes. 

oh great mother. it’s ao’nung and his friends. this isn’t going to be good. 

“huh? what’d you say?” kiri is the first to speak as she sits back on her legs, looking up at the group of boys. 

you sit up along with her, staring up at them as your heart pounds. you’re ready to fight if they try anything. 

“are you guys some kind of… freaks?” ao’nung asks as if it was a serious question. 

“he asked if you are a freak.” roxto repeated the question, like the little ass-kisser that he is.

your eyebrows furrow as you scoff, your hand grips kiri’s to pull her out of the water and up toward the dry sand. 

“no, we are not.” kiri rolls her eyes as you drag her up to the shore. 

“are you sure? i mean you’re not even real na’vi, and that one isn’t even supposed to be here.” the boy continues to make fun, but all you do is tune it out. 

“come on, kiri. let’s go.” you try to pull her along but he continues his rant, “the demon speaks!” he exclaims as the cackling boys crowd around you, harboring you both in the middle. 

“i mean look at her! her skin isn’t even the same as ours, and look at their hands! i mean look at them!” ao’nung reaches out to grip kiri’s wrist while another boy grabs yours. 

you attempt to pull away, but his strength is too hard to overcome. 

“hey!” someone shouts from across the beach, making your worried eyes look behind you. the boy let’s go of kiri, but the one holding onto you doesn’t let go just yet.

it’s lo’ak. oh eywa this isn’t going to end up well.

“back off, fish lips.” lo’ak walks up to ao’nung who looks down at the sully boy, “oooh look another freak.” 

roxto grabs lo’aks tail, “aww, look at his little baby tail!” 

he quickly turns around and pushes him off, “don’t touch me.”

the boy holding onto you pushes you to the ground as he lets go of you, making you grunt as your body comes in contact with the sand. 

kiri runs to your side to help you stand up, glancing over at lo’ak getting surrounded by the group, “leave us alone!” she yells at them, but her voice falls to deaf ears. 

your ears twitch when you hear fast footsteps approaching from behind you, making your head spin around to see neteyam marching forward.

one of his hands grip ao’nung’s shoulder to pull it back before pushing him, making the boy take a step back. 

“you heard what she said.” neteyam points at him, pressing his index finger against his chest, “leave them alone.” 

another one of ao’nungs minions starts to say something, but he raises his hand to shut him up. 

“back off. now.” he shoves his finger against his chest harder. ao’nung stares at neteyam with his head cocked to the side before raising his hands in surrender with a little smirk. 

“smart choice.” neteyam takes a step back, his head turning to look over you and kiri, “and from now on. i need you to respect them, and keep your hands off of them.” 

one of the boys hiss at neteyam, making you grimace in disgust. kiri sticks her tongue out at him as you flip them the bird, knowing they probably have no idea what that means. 

“let’s go.” neteyam says, letting lo’ak pass him, then kiri and you. he puts an arm around your shoulder to pull you into his side as you walk away.

“you okay?” he asks you quietly. all you can do is nod, and wrap your arms around his waist and smoosh your face into his side. 

“buh-bye!” one of them call out sarcastically. 

“look at them. they’re all freaks. the whole family.” ao’nung comments as you walk away. 

lo’ak stops in his tracks, taking a deep breath as he turns on his heel. 

“lo’ak.” neteyam warns him to stop. 

“i got this, bro.” he raises a hand as if that would stop neteyam from worrying. 

he waltz right up to ao’nung, “i know this hand is funny. look, i’m a freak. an alien.” he holds up his pinky, wiggling it in the air. 

“but it can do something really cool. watch.” he starts tightening his hand into a fist, “first, i ball it up real tight, like this.”

“and then..” he cranks his arm back and throws a hard punch right into ao’nungs jaw. the boy stumbles back in shock before another fist is slammed against his face, and another. 

the last one sends the boy down to the ground, blood seeping from his nose. “it’s called a punch, bitch! don’t ever touch them again.” 

ao’nung hops up and growls loudly at him before tackling lo’ak to the ground. lo’ak somehow gets on top of the boy before he’s pulled off by his tail. 

neteyam sighs and scratches his head, knowing he’s going to have to help. he pulls away from you and storms into the fight. you and kiri watch with wide eyes as neteyam throws a few heavy-handed punches and kicks before he is pummeled to the ground as well. 

“stop it!” kiri tries to call out to them, but of course they don’t listen. 

“so stupid.” you grumble with your hands on your hips as you watch it play out. 

you and kiri start to giggle as they drag each other by tails and ears across the sand, making them scream out in pain. 

“hey, hey! stop! break it up!” jake storms forward, pushing the boys away from each other. 

some metkayina boys scurry away, running into the village. lo’ak has to be peeled away from ao’nung, while neteyam stands and surrenders with his hands up. 

neteyam and lo’ak are ushered back to camp away from the fight and past you and kiri. 

after the boys are lectured and forced to apologize to the chief’s son, neytiri makes you and kiri help with making food. 

you can’t help but think about everything they said to you and kiri. 

calling you a demon, and her not a true na’vi. making fun of how you both have five fingers instead of four, how your skin isn’t the same color as theirs. 

you didn’t even realize tears were dripping down your cheeks until kiri lays her head on your shoulder, hugging you from the side. she lets out a loud sigh, making neytiri’s eyes rise from the food she’s wrapping in front of her.  

“what is wrong?” she asks, completely disregarding the food now. 

“nothing.” kiri dismisses the question, as your head hangs low to hide your face. obviously something is wrong, but neytiri doesn’t want to push it. 

it’s barely been two days, and all you want to do is lay back in the lush grass, smell the earth and dirt around you and feel the soft sun rays kiss your skin. 

the weather here is harsh, and the ground is gritty and seems to settle in the worst spots. you want your forest back, to be able to leap from tree to tree with neteyam, kiri, and lo’ak. 

you want to be with neteyam, to watch him grow into his position as olo’eyktan. you knew that these reef people would never accept you; you’re an outsider, a half breed, alien, and a sky demon. you’ll never be more to them than that. 

as the sky transforms from blue into pinks and oranges, you finally finish your chores. neytiri and kiri leave the pod to deliver the food, leaving you alone in the marui. you walk over to your corner to sit down on your blanket and pull a book out of your pack to read. you sit back against a pillow that is supported by the wall.

a human book nonetheless; one that norm gave you before you left home. neteyam plops down next to you, almost ignoring him from how immersed you are in the book. 

the boy pulls you into his side, almost half on his chest. “what are you reading?” his eyes skim the page as he rests his chin on top of your head. 

“something norm gave me. about uh, science stuff.” you laugh.  

“what kind of science stuff?” he questions. 

“cells… and humans… and anatomy…” you breathe out. 

“sounds boring.” he hums. 

“it’s not that boring. it’s about my body. maybe you should read it to learn more about it.” you tease him slightly, making the boy slightly stiffen under your weight. 

“give me that.” he snatches it from your hands, pulling it up to his height. “oh it says here… that when you are being clingy and annoying it means you only want one thing.” 

your eyebrows furrow, spinning around in your spot to stare at him. “and what is it?”

“me.” he chuckles, handing the book back to you. 

you snatch the book from the air, eyes skimming over the page to see what he was reading but it’s all about cells and mitosis. nothing about what you need.  

“ugh! you ass!” you slam the book shut and throw it to the side. you can’t help but take the opportunity to climb on top of him, straddling his waist since that you’re finally alone together. 

his hands find your hips instantly, holding onto your body tight. your eyes dance across his features, looking over his swollen lip that was cut open during the fight and the bruises slowly becoming more evident on his blue skin.  

“what’re you staring at?” he questions with his big round eyes looking over your face too. 

“you.” you giggle out, leaning forward to press a soft kiss against his lips. he winces slightly from the pain, making you pull back. 

“no, no. i don’t want to stop kissing you.” his voice is breathy as he leans forward to capture your lips with more force this time. 

he ignores the pain, kicking it to the back of his mind as he deepens the kiss. he hasn’t been able to kiss you like this in forever, everything has been so chaotic. 

“do you realize how hot it was to see you fight for me today?” you mumble into the kiss, making him pull back slightly. 

“it was hot?” he asks with a laugh. 

“so hot.” you nod, grabbing his face with your hands to pull him back to you. one of his hands slither away from your hips, up your spine and to the back of your top. 

his fingers play with the threads, ready to untie it before someone clears their throat to the side. you practically throw yourself off of neteyam, scared that it’s one of his parents. 

“aye!” he calls out as you fling yourself backward, following you down to the ground to cushion your fall with his hands. this puts you both in the worst position with your legs wrapped around his hips and him on top of you. 

his head turns towards the person standing at the entrance, his features contorting in anger. “what are you doing here?” 

it’s ao’nung. 

“look, i’m sorry for interrupting whatever that was…” the bruised boy holds back a laugh, “but it’s about your brother.” 

neteyam looks down at you with disappointment written across his features. he lets out a loud sigh before standing up and walking outside to talk to the boy, “this better be good.”

while they’re both outside, you get yourself situated back on top of your blanket, watching the conversation grow more heated by the second. 

you don’t expect neteyam to grip the back of ao’nungs neck to push him forward and lead him down to jake sitting with kiri near the water. 

you fly up onto your feet, scurrying forward to follow him. but jake is already storming away with ao’nung, flying right past you with neteyam following.

kiri jogs up to you, her hand coming up to rest on your upper arm. her eyes are wide with panic, and her body slightly trembling from the bad news ao’nung must’ve just told them. 

“it’s lo’ak. he went outside of the reef and he’s missing.” 

-

tags: @k----a27s @aspenreadsfanfic @aliseaaah @bellwhether @xoxobabe @koalalafications @embersfae @mae-is-crazy @softhetixx @minkyungseokie @iwanttohitmyself @neqeyam @lovedbychoi @lala-1516

note: hope u guys liked this one!! obvs there will be another part so if you wanna be tagged inbox me or comment <333

[hugshughes]

mad woman N. Moyle

Nolan Moyle x fem!reader

synopsis - Nolan is back in the place you two fell in love, and he can't get you out of his mind.

wc - 2.5k!

contains - UNEDITED SORRY!! cursing, NO HAPPY ENDING!(between Nolan and reader, I don't leave my readers sad you know that), um asshole!nolan as fuck, MAD WOMAN BY TSWIFT?????, um yeah i don't know, BAD BITCH!READER (you go girl), hints at future!frank nazar x reader (YOU KNOW I HAVE A HARD TIME HELPING MYSELF!!!!!!!)

an - hey y'all....... im not deceased!!! um yeah HOPE U HAD A GOOD HOLIDAYSSSSSS. some of this I couldn't tell, if it was funny or cringe so don't hate me. I don't loveeeeeee this but whatever. Frank is so cute SOMEONE REQUEST HIM ;))) anyways love u hope you enjoy!

-

what did you think i'd say to that? does a scorpion sting when fighting back?

Nolan felt weird. It was the first time he was back in Ann Arbor since leaving for China in the summer. He was stopping to see the boys and watch a hockey game before going back home to New York.

It was the first time he'd been in Ann Arbor since you broke up. The breakup was rough. There had been a lead up for weeks before, all you did was argue. You couldn't understand him, or anything he was doing. When you found out he was going to move to China, you felt like that was him saying you weren't important to him. He didn't seem even slightly upset about having to leave you, and when you were hysterical over it, he just called you crazy.

they strike to kill, and you know i will. you know i will.

When you realized Nolan wasn't going to be anything but indifferent about the situation, all you felt was rage. Maybe you were crazy, you felt it.

Nolan had been your boyfriend since you were a freshman, and he was a junior at Michigan. You dated for almost three years, and then he threw you to the side. Now you were interning in the athletics department at Michigan while you finished school, and you were talking with your supervisors about a job opening after graduation, so you were sticking around in Ann Arbor for a while longer.

It was honestly embarrassing the way you tried for you two, while it seemed he couldn't have cared less. The boys felt bad, they'd known you their whole college careers, you'd help them through losses, comforted them, cared for them. You were the best female influence they had while at college.

They hung out with you all summer, trying to include you in all of their activities, because they knew what you were going through. They loved Nolan, and they loved you. You didn't make them feel like they had to choose, and Nolan really couldn't even if he wanted to, being on the other side of the world from all of you.

You were still in Ann Arbor, along with the boys because they still had hockey games to play before they could go home for winter break, and you worked with the hockey team in the winter, so you were sticking around as well.

what do you sing on your drive home? do you see my face in the neighbors lawn?

Nolan couldn't get you off of his mind as he drove through the small Michigan college town. He saw you everywhere. You were the only person that had stuck around with him while most of his friends left to the NHL over the years. You could tell at the last moments of your breakup Nolan was jealous, he was jealous of people like Luke, who was leaving from their loss in Tampa straight to Boston to sign with the Devils. He had always dreamed of it, but had just not come close enough.

China would take him away from it all, a new place, as far away as he could be, because it did hurt to look at all the guys he captained, knowing they'd go on to do greater things than him.

He deflected what was going on in his head to you. He accused you of being crazy, and envious, and insecure, but it was him. He felt so shitty about himself on the inside that he threw it all to you.

does she smile? or does she mouth, "fuck you forever"? every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy.

Nolan was being suffocated by the overwhelming sense of you, that Ann Arbor held. Every corner, every road, every stoplight.

Nolan pulled into a parking spot on the side of the street, unbuckling his seatbelt and turning the car off. He sat in the empty car for a few minutes. Would you be there when he walked into the dinner the boys had planned? He knew they were really close with you, seeing as he stalked your and their Instagram profiles often.

He didn't know if the guys would do it to him. He also didn't know if they knew that seeing you would affect him so much.

You knew Nolan was invited to this dinner, but you didn't really care. You'd met your peace with him over the summer, at least in your mind, you were happy. Single life had been treating you well, you were prioritizing yourself, your friends, your family, and your career and it was a perfect balance for you.

what about that? and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry.

You'd always loved the idea of working for a sports team, specifically hockey. You'd been the daughter of the Minnesota Twins physical therapist since you were born, so seeing the behind the scenes of major league teams was always exciting for you. You'd gotten your first opportunity to work with sports teams in high school, when you had an internship with a smaller hockey team in Minnesota, and since then you'd loved working with hockey. It was how you met Nolan, interning with the Michigan team your freshman year.

You were already on your second drink when you saw Nolan walk into the restaurant. Seeing him left a pit of red hot anger in your stomach. You just looked away from him before he could catch you and kept talking to Luca. Maybe the anger never left, you didn't care as long as the love you had for him did.

and there's nothing like a mad woman. what a shame she went mad.

You chose not to acknowledge him, and he understood why. The last time you talked to him, you were screaming, crying, completely confused as to why he didn't love you like you loved him. You didn't understand how after committing three years to him, he could throw all of it away without a second thought. He probably had someone. Someone he could entertain halfway across the world.

You both ignored each other, deciding it best not to talk. You knew that it wouldn't end well, the rage sitting in your chest would release itself the second you said a word to Nolan. You both drank, a lot. You partially because you wanted to get your mind off of him, and partially because Luca was challenging you to go shot for shot with him.

Nolan was embarrassed before you two broke up, and he still was, sort of. Then, he was embarrassed because he felt like he wasn't talented enough to lead his team that was chock-full of NHL prospects. Now he was embarrassed because he had realized what he let go when he let you go. And obviously all these boys could tell he had lost a good one, because they all loved and admired you so heavily.

Nolan wasn't exactly good at handling emotions like embarrassment and insecurity, since being raised on "men don't cry" mentalities. And when he was so full of these unfamiliar feelings, he took it out solely on you.

And it made you crazy, like completely batshit. You were head over heels for Nolan, had been since the day you met, and when he flipped on you, you didn't know what to do.

no one likes a mad woman. you made her like that.

Nolan was drunk. Anyone in the bar could tell you that. He didn't always handle his alcohol well, either. His eyes locked onto you, all the way down the long table full of people. You were currently talking with some of the media girls, discussing the upcoming Monday video, thinking of question ideas.

Drunk Nolan was mad you weren't paying attention to him. He always wanted your attention, while you were together, and now. He started talking, rather loudly, about you. He was saying how you were crazy, and controlling and that's why you broke up. It was because he was drunk, but that didn't mean it was okay. You heard your name, and your head snapped to the side, staring Nolan down.

"No, she's a crazy bitch! Y'guys are lucky you haven't tried somethin' with'er, she's like the bossiest girlfriend ever. Like, like when we broke up, she was just beggin' me to stay and like wouldn't let me break up with'er!"

You were seeing blood red. None of that was true. You let Nolan do whatever the fuck he wanted during your relationship. He was the possessive one.

and you'll poke the bear, 'til her claws come out.

Most of the table was staring at you, those who weren't were staring at Nolan in bewilderment. No one believed him, they had witnessed your relationship. Some of the guys were telling Nolan to shut the fuck up, knowing you were angry.

You stood up, going to the end of the table Nolan sat at. You stood on the opposite side of the table, between Frank and Nick's seats.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Nolan? Do you really need my attention? It's pathetic, to talk about me like this, especially while I'm sitting right fucking there. We get it, you're not as fucking famous as you were here in China, but you don't have to bring me into your attention seeking."

and you find something to wrap your noose around. and there's nothing like a mad woman.

Nolan saw this as an opportunity. He knew he was getting you angry, he was thriving off of it.

"See? She's crazy!"

Adam slapped Nolan over the back of the head, telling him to shut up again, looking at you with wide eyes.

"It's alright Adam, you don't need to stop him from being a bitch. Anyways, Nolan, you calling me crazy is laughable. You were the one that didn't let me wear shit! The one that got mad when I went out with my friends!"

Nolan started to turn into an angry drunk guy. You were saying true things, all of that happened through the duration of your relationship. Nolan was getting embarrassed, again. He look around the table, his eyes catching on the one person likely on his side. A media girl in her junior year at Michigan. In her two years on the team with Nolan as a part of it, she'd had a crush on him, and made it clear to you and him. He turned back to you, ready to say something that would hurt you deep.

now i breathe flames every time i talk. my cannons all firin' at your yacht.

"It's your fault I was like that, I had to worry about you whoring yourself out to everyone."

You could've jumped over the table and strangled him. Frank grabbed your hand under the table, being the sweetheart he was. You squeezed his hand back, thanking him silently. You knew Nolan was embarrassed, and jealous that you were over him, when you obviously occupied his thoughts.

"You have to be kidding me."

they say, "move on." but you know i won't.

"She's not worth it Nolan."

A bitchy little voice came from down the table, every head snapping to look at the girl who'd said it. Of course, it was the one that wanted Nolan down her throat while you two together.

"Alright babe, just because you're feening to get in his pants doesn't mean you're apart of this conversation."

She gasped, many of the people at the table let out laughs, including the other media girls, leading the girl to turn in anger at them and shout out them to stop. You laughed hard, watching her try to blubber out insults at you.

and women like hunting witches too. doing your dirtiest work for you.

"It's obvious that you're both obsessed with me, and I understand, trust me."

They both got angry, starting to let out insults at you, but they were just funny to you.

"You two are gonna be very happy with each other, you can think about me together."

Watching them get angrier and angrier with you was so funny, objectively. You turned to Frank next to you, who was laughing, hard. You mouthed, 'I'm scared' to him, making him laugh harder.

it's obvious that wanting me dead has really brought you two together.

You stepped out from between the chairs, letting Frank's hand go, moving to grab your jacket, wallet, and phone from your spot, walking back to where you were when you gagged Nolan and media girl.

"Well I'm leaving, you two have given me enough entertainment for one night."

You left the bar, giggling to yourself as you pulled out your phone on the walk to your car. You saw one of the girls texted you, reading, 'mr obsessed is going out to see you WALK SLOW ;)' You knew who she meant, Frank. He'd had a little crush on you since he'd joined the team, in age, he was only a little over a year younger than you, so it wasn't weird or anything. You thought he was super cute and he was a lot more thoughtful than Nolan had ever been, even though he wasn't even your boyfriend, you'd never even entertained him, but he was still kind and caring towards you.

i'm taking my time, taking my time, 'cause you took everything from me

You looked behind you, stopping when you saw none other than Frank Nazar jogging up to you, you smiled brightly at him.

"Hi Frank."

He smiled, laughing as he said hi. He told you he wanted to make sure you got to your car safe, of course he did, he was a gentleman. So you let him walk with you, laughing about what had taken place in the bar. When you got to your car, you got in but talked to Frank through your open window for over ten minutes. When you told him he should go back to get out of the freezing weather of Ann Arbor, he nodded and agreed, but didn't leave.

This kid would probably end up being the death of you, with his smile and pretty hair. When you finally got him to head back to the bar, he was physically shivering. You smiled warmly to yourself as you sat in your car for a couple minutes, thinking about the whole night. Seeing Nolan be such a dick confirmed everything you'd thought about him over all the months, so it felt like you were really able to let go. Move on.

watching you climb, watching you climb over people like me. the master of spin has a couple side flings. good wives always know she should be mad, should be scathing like me, but no one likes a mad woman. what a shame she went mad, you made her like that.

[annabelle--cane]

im listening to mag again and damn do the archival crew HATE jon. listen i get it supposedly your lives would be normal if he hadn't brought you here... but he didn't? (minus og archive crew, jon requesting them and all) if anything he was just kinda there when you made decisions, bro wasn't EVEN THERE when melanie got hired like??? like how r u gonna wish him pain rn, he's ltrly sopping wet and on the verge of dying💀

like another anon I got a month or so ago, this is one of my sleeper agent trigger phrases, so this might be another marina monologue moment.

as I'm also in the middle of a (for my standards) incredibly slow relisten, I've been thinking about this topic, too, but I've been coming at it from a slightly different angle than I normally do. in tim's case, we don't get an actual look at the circumstances under which he transferred to the archives, it is theoretically possible that jon laid it on a bit thick in asking him to come with him to the department and tim wouldn't have even thought of it otherwise, but with melanie we have several scenes of her hiring and onboarding where jon is not present and she continually rebuffs people who tell her she's making a mistake, so the text very clearly sets up that her blaming jon for being trapped there doesn't make sense. and, even with tim having been requested by jon, he still had to make the ultimate decision to switch departments himself, so, yknow, what gives?

most people, I think, and myself in the past, have come at this question from a very jon-centric pov because he's the main character and it's a jon-centric show, but I think putting it down to "they lash out at him because he happens to be there and stops defending himself after a while" misses something, as does "they lash out at him because elias sets everyone up to think they have an adversarial relationship to jon." more than that, I think it's about the rejection of agency.

tma is a show that's very much About agency and choices, so it's important to keep track of where characters suddenly balk and try to offload their choices onto other agents. martin, despite being very proactive and efficient when he sets his mind to it, has a consistent habit of thinking of himself as fundamentally unimportant and unable to affect real change. jon, someone who is usually culpability_acceptor_4000, really tries to convince himself that the web made him pull statements out of strangers. and melanie and tim, on realizing that they've gotten themselves stuck in the archives, have similar reactions of trying to retroactively make those decisions jon's.

they hate being stuck there and they can't bear the idea that it might be their fault, and they don't know how to reconcile the choices they did make with the greater forces outside of their control that shape their lives. tim swings right from seeing jon as fully responsible to seeing everything as the result of cosmically inevitable bad luck, and this hits him so hard that it leads directly to his suicide. post-bullet melanie gets a better handle on it; accepting that she chose to fall further into the slaughter opens her up to accepting that she made other choices, like joining the archives, as well as accepting future choices, like quitting the archives.

and yes, in the moments where tim and melanie are most vulnerable and just starting to realize how deeply screwed they are, jon (at least from their pov) does something to make it worse. when jon tells tim that jane presntiss wasn't his fault, tim says "well you sure made me feel worse afterwards! and then everyone had to pay attention to how you were feeling to get you to stop stalking us!" when melanie goes in for a second assassination attempt on elias, elias makes jon talk her down instead of doing it himself, presumably to try and get the slaughter mark done with. neither of these are the inciting incidents for tim and melanie's situations, but they stand out. and because jon is culpability_acceptor_4000, a man who feels like the weight of the whole world is on his shoulders and is even right some of the time, the accusations stick. tim and melanie don't want anything to be their fault, jon thinks everything is his fault, and it's a bit of a vicious self-fulfilling cycle.

[murachinchi]

Some thoughts for my Hantengu x Tanjiro modern AU 🥺🥺

I have so many thoughts but im too impatient to write fanfiction and i just wanna air out my ideas lol and waiting for me to draw a comic for it also gonna take awhile so ill just write it down here! I might draw a comic based on this in the future but we'll see!

They met when Hantengu stumbled upon Tanjiro's bakery. The bakery is not new just that Hantengu never takes the route that pass the bakery on his way home lol

it was a love at first sight 🥺 on Hantengu's end that is lol. Tanjiro thought he was a creepy oldman that loitered outside his bakery 😂

Their first meeting

oki u guys remember how Tan didn't smell Hantengu's demonic scent?? i wanna add that here (?) but in this scenario Tanjiro just can't guess how Hantengu is feeling which fascinated him. he always have the advantage of knowing how people feel from their scent but Hantengu doesn't emit any of that or if he does it hard to tell.

this does take place in an omegaverse and Tanjiro is an omega while Hantengu is a beta. but that doesn't stop Tan to be able to scent people's emotion Hanchan just built different

Hantengu only comes in if he saw Tan behind the cashier, Tan's siblings noticed this and call Hanchan his secret admirer lol

on a slow day Tan decided to confront Hantengu about his weird behaviour but Han ran and stopped coming for weeks

one day Han came back on a busy time, Tan noticed him and told him to wait for him outside. almost an hour later Tan finally came out and apologized for making him wait this long in the cold 😂 But Han said that its alright. Tan offered to treat him food and they went to an oden stall

The whole time its just Tan talking LOL Hanchan's too flustered to say anything. Tan told him that he seems lonely that's why he doesn't feel angry or annoyed that Han do that just weird. this is where they start their friendship. every few days they went to eat at a stall and its either Tan or Han that pays but mostly Tan.. idk i feel like Han the type to take any advantage on getting free food LOL

ofc they got closer and Han start to talk alot more then one thing leads to another and they are dating (?) yes Tan asked how old Hantengu is and was surprised that he's only 40 😂 Han said he has a skin condition that made him look older than he should

pic above is their first ever official date 🤣 they ate at Hantengu's favorite ramen stall

i know Hantengu was the one in love(?) at first but it was Tan that confessed and ask him out. Tan was waiting but Hantengu never did so one day Tan brought him to a fancy restaurant and asked him out lol

Han was super insecure at first cause on top of dating someone younger he's not exactly good looking, but Tan just told him to stop insulting his bf. i like to think that Tan helped him to be more confident :D

in one of their midnight hangouts(?) Han mention that he mostly buy food from the convenience store so it's a nice change of pace to eat out like this. Tan was very disraught hearing this so he told Han to drop by his bakery before work so he can take a homemade lunch box to eat and not long after they start dating Tanjiro came to his house to cook dinner. This time Hantengu insist to pay for the groceries lol

idk why but i headcanon Hantengu's favorite food is karaage lol it reminds him of his late father. he's a busy man so he have no time to cook but he ocassionaly prep karaage for Hantengu to eat. One time when Tanjiro cooks him karaage he cried while eating it lol. they eat karaage for a whole week after that

Hantengu gave him a spare key to his apartment so Tan don't have to wait for him to get in. Tan also start doing chores around his house and found lots of Hanchan's hidden secret… his laundry 🤢

The first time Tanjiro helped do Hantengu's laundry he was baffled cause there were so many ruined socks and underwear that he still wore. so he told him to throw them all away and they went to a department store to buy new pairs. Tanjiro even offered to buy it for him 😂

Hantengu is an only child, his parents already passed away when he met Tanjiro. His mom died when he was young while his dad died later from a work accident

Tanjiro's family never expect Tanjiro to be dating Hantengu. it was a shock when Tanjiro said they are going out now. They thought Tanjiro was just being nice to this weird oldman 😂

His mom was against their realtionship. on top of the age gap he just look sketchy 😂 But his dad said that they should trust Tanjiro and just let them be

Tanjiro trying to convince his parents

His siblings ofcourse were very against it cause they want Tan to get back together with his ex 😂 Tanjiro's ex is Kyojuro :))

i changed their age here.. Kyo and Tan were childhood friends so they knew each other or a long time and their family are close too. it devastated both family when they broke up. The reason? who knows (i haven't decided yet)

The perfect Ex-boyfriend..

He also happened to be an acquaintance with Shinjuro. Picture above is Shinjuro lamenting about his son's break up

No, Hantengu was not a rebound cause it's been a few years after the break up

Tanjiro like to sleepover at Hantengu's place. its a nice change of pace from how hectic his house is 😂

One day when Tanjiro sleeps over at his house Hantengu woke up realising how happy he is and saw so many things have changed for the better ever since he go out with Tanjiro. When they were eating breakfast that Tanjiro made he just blurts out asking Tan to marry him. Then Tan chokes on his food (he said yes)

Tan was just surprised Han proposed to him, he thought he'll be the one who's gonna propose lol

Now Hanchan gotta charmed the whole family to accept him (?)

Tanjiro knows about Hantengu's parents so they went on a trip to go to his family grave to pay a visit :D They also met a few distant relatives of Hanchan.

this is how the meeting between Hantengu and Tanjiro's parents went

(he got their blessings)

Because Tanjiro will be inheriting the family bakery, Hantengu changed his surname to Kamado. so legally his name is Kamado Urami but Tanjiro still calls him Hanchan 🥺. Yes in this AU Hantengu's name was Hantengu Urami lol

their nickname for each other is Hanchan and Tantan

Tanjiro said Hanchan so much that their kids firstword is "Hantan" (MUAHHAHA don't worry guys it's actually just a baby talk cause babies have a hard time pronouncing "chan" ☝🤓)

their wedding is not that grand they just invite family and friends. Hantengu invites his boss and some of his co workers lol. they need em to shut up about Hantengu finding a bf/gf this way they'll stop. they have their suspicion about Han's love life but they never expect to received a wedding invitation lol

speaking of Hantengu's job.. canonically he is known to be really good at infiltrating according to Muzan at least lol. so i made him be a data analyst in this AU lol idk smtg to do with data 😭 he could be a government spy but that'd be too cool for this hantengu 😂

i said that Tanjiro gonna inherit the bakery right? well too bad... it didn't happen when they found out they gonna have a quadruplets 😂 so the bakery goes to Nezuko. Tanjiro helped out later on when the kids start middle school.

Their first ultrasound :D

Hantengu and kidoairakuzou by some miracle (me LOL) shares the same birthday. so it was a really hectic day for Tanjiro every year. Tanjiro likes to celebrate a quiet bday at night for Hantengu tho. sometimes with a small personal birthday cake or leftover cakes 😂

ok it's getting tooo long so im ending it here 😭 If you managed to read this far congratulation and thank you!! 😭 i will add more about the kids on the second part but i don't know when it will come out lol so stay tune!

HanTan🥺

[soapyghost]

EMBERS

Firefighter John Price x Fem! Reader

I constantly have Price brain rot so like have my horny thoughts. Hear me out- firefighter price. EH? EHHHH?? Ok fuck you im doing it :) Anyways- this is dedicated to my local fire department cuz they are FINE AF (i see yall at the grocery store how u doin)

So I’m planning on making this a series. A lil slow burn. Idk how many parts. Enjoy the ride. Lmk if you want to be put on the tag list.

Warnings: eventual smut!!! Fluff, fire, mentions of injuries, angst kinda? Use of Y/N. Let me know if I missed anything.

Tag list- @southernbluebellereader (thank you so much for letting me vent about this work ily)

Funny how the worst night of your life would lead you to the best night of your life. Waking up the the blaring sounds of an alarm, you roll over and blindly grab your phone. It couldn't be 7am already can it? You tap on the screen to reveal it's only 2:47am and that sound was not your alarm. It takes you a moment to realize the ear shattering sound is coming from the fire alarm in your kitchen.

Without thinking you fling yourself out of the embrace of the covers only to be met with thick, choking, black smoke. Sputtering you being to cough and eyes filling with tears as you drop to the ground. Crawling to the door on all fours you slowly make your way across the hard vinyl flooring. Again, you mindlessly grab the door handle only to immediately fall backwards onto your back at the searing pain now flowing through your hand. A scream escapes your mouth as you look down, and even in the dark of the room you can see the charred flesh of your hand.

This is it, you think, swallowing hard. This is how you go. Scared and alone in your shitty one bedroom apartment in the same shitty town you were born. They're going to find your body on the morning news, charred and nearly unrecognizable, wearing nothing but an oversized t-shirt and panties. You let out a sob as the tears begin to fall from your eyes, mixing with the soot in the air. The burning only adds to your hysteria. Curling up into the fetal position and rocking back and forth you wait for your end.

Suddenly the door to your bedroom is smashed open, wood chips flying everywhere. You scream again and fling your eyes open. Before you stands a giant, a monster. You let out another scream and begin shuffling backwards to the corner of the room. The large creature begins moving towards you and scoops you up like you were nothing. You'd come to terms with dying and becoming a crisp but not dying to a shadow. Squirming you try to get out of the iron clad grasp holding you bridal style. "I got one, she's alive" a voice comes from the monster. Its not until you're out in the hallway that you finally notice, its not a creature, not a monster, but a man.

Piercing blue eyes look down at you from the inside of a yellow hood, crinkling into a small smile. "It's going to be ok, shhh" the thick British voice says, muffled by the gas mask protecting his face. Gulping and holding back tears, you simply nod before putting your face into his chest.

Cold air hits your thighs as you breach the exit of the apartment complex. A gasp escapes your throat and goosebumps immediately cover your body. A small chuckle escapes the figure holding you. He sets you down on the grass, far out of the reach of the fire engulfing your home. You open your eyes to look upon your savior as he kneels down to remove his mask. When he does, the world seems to move in slow motion like one of those stupid commercials.

He's simply breathtaking, from his perfect blue eyes to the well groomed beard that graces his face. "You alrigh' luv?" he asks, reaching out a gloved hand to your shoulder. His voice shakes you out of your daze, back to the harsh reality that you are half naked on the grass outside the crumbling building you used to live in.

It's such a simple question, but after everything you've just been through, it hits like a ton of bricks and tears begin to well up in your eyes again. "Thank you" you hiccup out between sobs, holding tightly onto the hand on your shoulder. He grabs you and brings you into a tight embrace. The world stops, there's no more yelling, no more burning buildings, no more sirens. Its just you and him.

"Cap? You good?" a voice breaks through your fantasy, and you whip your head around to see yet another beautiful man. This one sporting a mohawk and beautiful hazel eyes. "All good here Soap, go." your savior commands. "Soap?" you croak, a huff of a laugh escaping you. Looking back to the man holding you together, a soft smile crawls upon your lips. "Ha, yeah. Long story. You never answered me luv, you alright?" he asks, pulling away slightly to look you over, suddenly realizing just how exposed you were.

Immediately he takes off his jacket and lays it on you, offering you some small form of coverage. "'M alrigh" you respond, breathless. Truth be told, you were far from alright, but that was all you could muster. The man smiles at you and begins to get up, but before you can think you reach out and pull him back, "please... please don't leave" you whisper. His eyes widen ever so slightly, before he holds you back. "Alrigh' luv I won't leave you, cmon'" he smiles, scooping you back up and taking you to the back of the ambulance.

Setting you down in the back, he readjusts the jacket to cover your lower half before looking back up into your eyes, "Names John" he says. You look up into the eyes of the man who just saved your life, "John" you say, testing out the feeling of his name on your tongue. "That's it luv, don't wear it out now ya 'ear?" he murmurs into your ear before finally untangling himself from you. A small whine escapes your throat at the loss of contact, and a blush rises up your face as you realize that he definitely heard it. He chuckles, "alrigh' love, I need to go back to my team, will you let the paramedics check you out?" he asks, looking deep in your eyes. You swallow thickly and nod, "will you come back?" you whisper, your face growing redder by the second. "Of course, luv" he says before cupping your cheek and smiling. He drops his hand, offering you one last smile before saying, “take good care of her eh Gaz?”. He turns his back and jogs back to the firetruck.

The paramedic begins to check you out, tending to your hand. He’s also good looking; tall, muscular and sporting a baseball cap. You notice he also has a slight accent. As he grabs the gauze to wrap your hand he says, “so you didn’t pay attention in school huh?” The remark catches you off guard and you simply blink in confusion at the man, did he really just ask you that? “You shouldn’t grab metal in a fire” he chuckles, finishing your hand and giving you a pat on the shoulder.

“Guess not huh” you respond sheepishly. Not only were you almost burnt to a crisp but now you’re getting chastised for not remembering elementary school training. “Ah, we all forget things in the moment. You’ll be ight” he smiles, placing his med kit back in the ambulance. You look down at the jacket covering your bare legs, it reads in all caps “PRICE”. John Price.

Johns smiling face rounds the corner just as Gaz finishes cleaning up, “how she lookin’ kid?” he asks, looking at you. “Ah she’ll be ight cap” Gaz responds, taking the unspoken hint to slip away and leave you two alone. You absentmindedly flex your hand, the feeling of the gauze on your hand unfamiliar and coarse.

“You alright sweetheart?” John kneels to be closer to your height, his eyes looking deep into yours. “Much better now. I don’t think I’ll ever forget to not touch metal” you laugh weakly. His laugh surprises you, deep and rich. The wrinkles by his eyes deepen as he laughs.

Now that the immediate threat of dying was over, you began to notice just how attractive John was. His muscles rippling underneath the tight long sleeve made your head spin. Or maybe it was the smoke inhalation. You could make out the salt and pepper greys in his beard and hair. And to top it all off, his beautiful blue eyes. You could get lost in them, you were lost in them.

A hand waves itself infront of your face and snaps you back to reality. You’d been caught and you blushed feverishly. “Luv?” John asked, “I asked ya a question.” “Oh ah uh. Sorry. Adrenaline” you answer, eyes darting to the concrete below, trying desperately to hide your face. “I asked if you got somewhere to stay?” He questions again. “Oh. Uhm. Yeah I can get a hotel.” You say, not quite sure how you’ll afford it but you really don’t have any option. “Well then, we’ll take ya” John smiles, holding out his hand.

You grab his hand and move his jacket so it’s resting on your shoulders. He leads you back to the fire truck where the rest of his crew is waiting. “Cap?” A man in a balaclava asks. “Were just taking.. hmm didn’t catch your name luv” John looks over to you. “Oh it’s Y/N” you say, blushing once again. “Beautiful. We’re dropping Y/N off a hotel” John states, recieving nods from his crew.

The ride there is quiet, John driving, the smell of smoke suffocating the cab of the truck. All the men looked exhausted, the one they called soap dozing off. But the man in the balaclava never took his eyes off you, never waivered. You found him odd, his stare unsettling you a bit.

When you finally make it to a hotel Soap wakes and opens the door for you, where John is waiting to help you down. He leads you into the lobby and before you can speak he says “one room for the lady please” to the receptionist. The woman behind the desk smiles and says, “sure thing John” before sliding him a key.

“But wait- I need to pay!” You exclaim. John simply laughs and extends his hand out again to lead you to your room. “No need to worry luv, this is on me” he smiles. You could get lost forever in that smile, would do anything to get to see it. The walk to your room seeming all too short, he drops your hand to unlock the door and holds it open for you.

“Get some rest alright?” He says, looking down at you. All the adrenaline has evaporated from your body and all you can think about is how comfortable that bed looks. You look up to him and whisper, “thank you.” He smiles again, before gesturing you inside. “Sleep well, luv’” he murmurs before closing the door and leaving you in the darkness of the hotel room.

You don’t even remember crawling into bed or even falling asleep. When you wake, you’re comfortably in bed still in John Prices jacket.

[reverie-starlight]

IF YOU DO NOT GIVE ME THE SOFTEST OF THOUGHTS IN -6 SECONDS IM CALLING THE FIRE DEPARTMENT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL NOR A THREAT, BUT A PROMISE 😡🩷🤲🏻

AGNSKCBGKS OKAY!!!! SOME SUPER QUICK SOFT THOUGHTS 4 U!!!! DON'T CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!!!

also this is… very unedited and might have a few mistakes!! so many apologies, I hope you don’t hate it!!

(with todoroki bc he's all that's been on my mind since I restarted bnha from the beginning)

gn!reader, pro!reader, lots of fluff. this went from super rambly in the beginning to more of a mini fic by the end. also, my first time writing for todoroki, so I’m testing out how I write him with this! this got just a hair suggestive at the end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

okay so immediately my mind went to making breakfast with him early in the morning. (for the sake of this scenario, you're both pros)

let's say you both have a day off and you're so excited to actually be able to spend time together while you're both conscious apart from the quick goodbye kisses before you head to your agencies and the minutes before drifting into the few hours of sleep you get in between shifts (if you’re lucky to even be in bed at the same time).

todoroki had always been an early riser by choice, and normally on his days off he would sleep in (only by an hour), but he was so excited to actually have the day with you that he managed to convince you to wake up early with him (something you'd never agree to on a day off if you weren't as excited as him) to maximize time together <3

so it leads to him pulling a very sleepy partner out of bed and into the washroom so you can brush your teeth together. you make quiet conversation about your dreams while he supports your body weight as you lean on him and he presses small kisses against the back of your head while you wash your face.

then it's time for breakfast and you're getting the pans ready while he gets the ingredients. the sun isn't even fully up yet and your voices are soft, both of you afraid to disrupt the peaceful atmosphere.

sleepy kisses are exchanged, sweet whispers of I love you are promised. he’s picking you up and placing you on the counter since he’s just barely more awake than you are, and he’s finishing up the food while you take a little power nap against him. he doesn’t hold it against you because he knows you’re exhausted.

it’s a struggle not to burn the food since one of his hands is occupied with being wrapped around your waist and rubbing your back soothingly while you drift in and out of consciousness, but he manages.

you wake up just in time to help him plate the food, and soon enough you’re enjoying your meal, legs intertwined under the table, hands clasped together on top of it.

(side note but one thing about todoroki is that he would so totally be clingy with his partner after he gets completely comfortable, but especially if they’ve had to spend a long time apart from each other, so he would be all over you on a shared day off.)

he occasionally brings your hand up to his mouth to press kisses to the back of it and you rub your thumb over his in return. then after breakfast you’re cuddling on the couch, he’s laying on top of you with his cheek smushed against your chest as you card your fingers through his hair and making sure neither of you get too warm with his quirk.

“we really needed this,” you state. everything about the day had been quiet, calm, peaceful and your voice did nothing to change that.

todoroki nods. “mhm. missed you so much this month.”

right. it had been a whole month of your insane schedule.

“I missed you too, baby… I don’t know how we managed a whole month like this, that has to be some sort of record for us.”

he snorts. “yeah, I think so too. but let’s not talk about it right now. I want to focus on our time together, not apart.”

you smile and press a kiss to his head. “you’re right. let’s just relax for the day and catch up on some much deserved quality time.”

so you do- you cherish your time together, talking about nothing, just enjoying the comforting sound of each other’s voices. you’re both still sleepy, but it’s less because of exhaustion and more because of relaxation.

but an hour later you get a text from momo that wakes you both up pretty quickly and results in more playful affection (as playful as todoroki could be, anyway).

you check the text and sigh. todoroki looks up at you in worry. “if it’s midoriya, tell him I fled the country.”

you let out a snort and pull your phone away from your face to look at him. “and why would I do that?”

he nuzzles his face further into your chest. “because he knows it’s my day off and he might be asking if we want to hang out with him.”

you roll your eyes affectionately and unlock your phone again to read momo’s text. “well lucky for you, it’s not him, but unlucky for both of us, it’s momo asking the same thing.”

he peeks up at you for a second before face planting into you again. “…tell her we fled the country.”

you giggle and flick him on the forehead, feeling him smile against you. “I’m not telling any of our friends we fled the country, my love.”

“then can you please tell her we’re busy today? I don’t want to see anyone but you.”

you decide to tease him a little bit. “I dunno… she says she just wants to drop something off for us and she’ll be quick.”

he groans and pokes you in the side. “my love, with the two of you involved, a visit is never quick.”

you gasp, pretending to be offended, even though you know it’s true. “is it so wrong that I like to spend time with my best friend?”

he pushes himself off of you and holds himself up by his forearms, placed near your head and raises an eyebrow. “is it so wrong that I want to spend time with my dear, completely innocent, never teasing partner?”

you shoot a childish grin up at him and he sighs, his eyes growing soft. “please tell her we’re busy today?”

you lean up to give him a quick peck. “I told her we couldn’t before I even mentioned that she texted, my love.”

wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him down to properly kiss him. “besides, I want to spend the day with you, too. do you think I got up early on my day off because I wanted to get the worm?”

he blinks at you. “what worm?”

you stare up at him. “have you never heard that saying? the early bird gets the worm?”

“oh, that’s what you meant. I thought we had a worm problem.”

“why would we have a worm problem?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I asked you.”

“Shoto- oh. you’re messing with me.”

he hums and presses soft kisses along your cheeks and down your neck. “payback.”

you sigh in content, tilting your head a little and continue caressing his hair. “you got me.”

he smiles down at you and you try to take a mental picture to remember it forever. his messy hair, a rare full smile and a small blush as he admires you from above. the moment was perfect.

you continue to stare at each other for a few moments, just savouring each other’s company. his hands are trailing gently over your body, and just when you think you’re about to go somewhere with him, your phone goes off again. a certain warmth settles in your chest as he checks it for you and huffs out a laugh.

“It’s midoriya, he’s asking if we’re free, too.”

you take your phone back and toss it onto the chair across from the sofa you’re both laying on, pulling him back down for another kiss, this one slightly more heated. “he can wait for a response, we’re busy.”

your boyfriend just chuckles and lets you pull him down, happy that you’re still on the same page about catching up on quality time.

safe to say that midoriya never ended up getting an answer to his text. thank goodness you had read receipts turned off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed!!

[when42-0fallasleep]

Okay im bacc and this is a mafia AU

Puffs are sisters by bond, grew up together in a shelter of Prof. U before being adopted into different family but still keep the bond then rented the same house after high school. Ruffs are bio triplets of a mob family.

Blossom, Bubbles and Buttercup are nicknames they were given at the shelter. The trio still call each other by that name and ppl that are close to them call them that too.

Bloss was named Rosalia bc she was adopted by a Spanish family. Bubbs was named Charlotte. BC was named Auguri (her adopted family was Italian). Thats how Bloss learned Spanish and BC learned Italian. Bloss then also learned French, and BC learned German. Bubbs speaks all of the languages above, being the language genius she is.

They usually teach each others thing. Blossom taught others how to defense one's self with words. Bubbles taught others how to fix some stuffs. BC taught others how to use a riffle and a gun (she was adopted by hunters so she knows how).

Blossom is a law student. She used to be the all that American citizen type but she grew out of it. She still keeps her interest in law so she choose this department. Shes smart but shes not good at emotions and room reading.

Blossom meets Brick everyday in her class. The guy teases her (read: pisses her off) on a daily basis and they usually compete in lectures. Brick actually likes to do that because "she looks like a boiled octopus when shes mad (and thats cute)"

Bubbles is studying to be a tailor. She sometimes design her own stuff but since she dont rlly have the money to make them, she decided to work and study at the same time for it. She is cheerful (obiviously) but she quite the type to keep for herself.

Boomer is one of Bubbles's customer and comes to the shop quite often bc he felt in love with the girl at first sight so he comes to hang out (read: to flirt w Bubbs). The shop's owner is under his dads' influence (not that the employees know abt this) but they dont mind him much bc they used to be the triplets' babysitter.

BC studies cuisine. She usually brings home the food she cooked in class for meals. Girl takes no shit from other and is totes blunt. Shes lowkey headstrong too. She hits the gym and does boxing smt.

BC and Butch are friends at the gym and drinking buddies (and smt fwbs). They usually fight at the ring in the gym to relieve their own stress then hang out (read: drinking) later. BC has a key to Butch's apartment (read: hide out).

The 1st to know abt the shady shit is BC since one time she and Butch got to bar together and some gang around hate the guys face so they decided to, well, gang up the two.

BC was like "bitch I know ur shady af but damn okay wtf" but they dont have much talking time then so Butch just, "put ur boxing glove on bestie we have stress relief outta the gym now" then proceeding to punch ppl.

BC gave him an earful later when they got to Butch's hide out. Butch don't explain much but BC takes it since she knew Butch was being honest to her. Then the guy said "yknow what I actually was gonna ask u out but they saw us together so I'm pretty sure that they think that we're an item now lmao so will u date me?" BC said okay but she smacked him anw.

The 2nd to know was Blossom, a month or two after BC and Butch started dating. They were randomly paired up again so they had to work together, but turned out to just bickering as usual since 1st day working for the task. They met up at a restaurant (that Brick chose) and then some gang pulled up there and scaring ppl off.

Brick decided to lay low at first bc Blossom told up she will sneak a call to the police, but then she was caught. Brick then yelled "fuck this" and proceed on beating ppl. Blossom actually had to stop him from killing someone.

Gang lead realised Brick and yelled to him and spilled out Brick's identity as mob leads' son so Brick punched the guy again. Brick was glad that the restaurant was under his dads' influence and theres no one but him and owner of the place there but then gang lead said "were sorry that were interrupted u and ur girl, pls forgive us!" Then Brick realised, ah fuck, Blossom was still here.

Blossom was there, stunned, and suddenly Brick remembered thats shes here so he was like, "fuck okay, listen, just, don't spill this out." They agreed to never talk abt this incident again. Brick explained to her that yes his dads are mob boss (true), he thinks this life is tiring (true) and he doesnt rlly wanna do this (false). Blossom dont rlly believe that but she knows she shouldnt dig any deeper.

The last one to find out was Bubbs. Unlike her other two sisters, she was kidnapped on her way home. Blossom was staying at school studying. BC got home first, surprised that Bubbs isnt home (normally Bubbs is the 1st to reach there). Her instinct thought that the polices would hold this for too long and Bubbs would be harmed by then, so she called Butch.

Boomer overheard BC's voice on Butch's phone saying, "i need help, i think someone took my sister Bubbles" so he insisted on going w him. Butch be like, "okay, fine?" but did not question more.

BC then met Boomer for the 1st time. She was abt to discuss w them abt the situation but Boomer was like, i know where she works, i frequent that shop. BC raised an eyebrow at that. They did, successfully rescured Bubbs from a gang of human traf.fickers. Bubbs was surprised that Boomer was there, with her sister at that. BC explained everything to her, and said, "well i was hoping for a better scenario to let my bf meet you, but it is what is it i guess" and Bubbs giggled at that.

BC also warned Boomer, "if you lay a single finger on my baby sister's hair, know that i dont give a single fuck abt ur background, blondie, and unlike my other sister, i dont hesitate on dirty my own hands." Boomer rapidly nodded, and Butch whistled at that. Then Boomer realised, "wait, how do you know i like ur sis?" and BC was like, srly? and looked at him dead in the eye, "i saw the way u look at my sis. Im not blind, and the sole fact that ur came to the rescue like a fucking prince charming when ur only heard her name says all."

After the incident, Boomer started to go to the gym that BC and Butch frequent, bc he wanna ask BC how to woo Bubbs. BC usually laughed at how cute that is, and Butch was like, "oh my god my lil bro has grown up" which Boomer grossed out, "eww get ur stinky bloody shit away, bitch"

But it takes Boomer quite long to get from BC that he should find a way to encourage her dream, but do not interfere too much since Bubbs hates ppl underestimate her altho she doesnt say that out. From then Boomer invites BC to their personal gym, and BC was like, why not?

(Welp i havent got any other ides yet (for now lmao) so i gotta end this here)

[marriiemeii]

02. daily life at work

summary: just a typical day at work. not.

previous || next

"soojin," a voice calls out. people close by look over surprised that the mai park was calling out to someone.

"mai mai!" soojin exclaims, heading over to the other lady. there was a little hop in her step. when she reached mai, she gave her a quick hug.

"do u wanna go out for dinner?" mai asks the younger girl. soojin nods her head excitedly.

"of course! any opportunity to hangout is welcome to me," soojin smiles. mai nods and pats soojin's head before wrapping her arm around her shoulders.

"c'mon, there's people i gotta introduce you to," mai grumbles, guiding soojin somewhere else.

text chat: soonie + wonu

soonie: wonuuu

soonie: i know it's ur lunch rn

soonie: plsss i have a question

wonu: did u break your laptop again

soonie: NO, i havent done that since last time

wonu: good what do u want

soonie: does mai know the new intern?

there's a rumor saying those 2 are secretly dating

wonu: why are u listening to rumors anyways

soonie: cmooon i need some excitement in my work life

wonu: or are u making sure u dont lose ur bet

soonie: :0

wonu: everyone already knows the bet came from marketing

again

soonie: well if u already know just tell me plsss i need the advantage

wonu: they're college friends that's all im saying

soonie: thanks wonu! ily mwah😘😘

email:

to: carat publishing house staff

from: human resources department

subject: short updates meeting (optional)

body: good afternoon leads and staff,

we will be holding a short updates meeting today at 4:30PM. because the meeting is being held under short notice, the meeting will be optional.

we hope to see you there!

sincerely,

your human resources department

- with the editorial department

"hansol, you can go to the meeting," hansol's lead, jihoon, says without looking up from his work. the small office room that held 5 employees was quiet with jihoon's voice breaking the silence.

hansol looks up from his work to stare at his lead worker. "just me?"

"yeah, take notes and let me know what happens so i can tell the rest of the team."

"ah ok," hansol nods his head, pouting a bit. he had certain things he wanted to finish today at work but he would have to make some time tomorrow then depending on the meeting.

he could hear other staff mumbling that they wanted to go to the meeting. jihoon probably knew this so he only chose one person to go so the small department doesn't end up gwtting behind on work.

hansol sighed softly to himself. time to do extra work before the meeting so he doesn't have to play catch up tomorrow.

- with the financing department

"mingyu, do we have to go to the meeting?" chan asks his lead. mingyu looks up from the spreadsheets he was proofreading.

"what meeting?" he asks cluelessly, going back to reading.

"it was just sent by hr, mingyu," minghao says, his head poking out from behind his large monitor.

"oh! yeah we all have to go," he says. he looks over at soojin. "you too, soojin."

"eh really? but it's my first day. should i be there?" soojin asks surprised. he nods his head.

"of course, we gotta show off our new member y'know?" mingyu smiles.

"will we be behind if we all go though?" minghao asks. mingyu goes quiet. thinking about it.

"it's fine! we got a new addition to help us anyways!" mingyu says. chan and minghao shake their head at their lead and soojin just smiles awkwardly feeling a bit bad.

chan notices this and walks over to her. he pats her shoulder.

"welcome to the team, soojin. hope you can get used to mingyu's spontaneity."

"thanks, i hope so too."

"hey, don't brainwash her, chan. i see that look in your eyes too minghao!"

- with the marketing department

"i volunteer to go to the meeting for everyone!" soonyoung stands from his desk with his hand raised. everyone looks over at him from his sudden outburst.

it was silent at first, until everyone started talking at once.

"no, i should go because all you're gonna do is stare at mai all day," seokmin retorts.

"well all you're gonna do is stare at yeri all day," seungkwan says. seokmin stares at seungkwan with a look of betrayal as soonyoung and hayoon laugh.

"why can't we all just go?" seungcheol raises his hand. the lead of marketing looks over at seungcheol. "it's not going to be that long right?"

the lead nods hers head. "that's fine you can all go if you want, but soonyoung and seokmin you have to take notes. gotta make sure you're not just staring at mai and yeri."

soonyoung and seokmin look at their lead is exasperation. "i don't even like her!"

- with the it department

"are we going to the meeting?" junhui asks, his head against his arm that was on the table. he was looking at mai, who was typing on her laptop.

wonwoo stops typing and looks at mai, wondering what her response would be.

"do you want to go?" mai asks, continuing to work.

"hmm kind of. just curious about it. i finished my work for the day too," junhui says.

"i'd rather just hear about the meeting from an email or something," wonwoo says.

"junhui, we can go. wonwoo you can stay if you want," mai says. both of the boys smile, content with their lead's decision.

previous || next

[eijirousbestie]

“Answer the question.”

corporate au excerpt

im actually so out of the writing game I just wrote whatever words came to my mind first and let it go from there💀

this has no true beginning or ending im really just practicing writing again

btw whoever requested aizawa, this is 4 u

“That’s not what I asked you.”

You go silent, caught off guard by the sudden way he shut you down.

“Do you understand the material, or not?”

“No. Not well anyway. But then again I guess that’s why I’m here.” He gives you a look as if his patience is already wearing thin. He leans against the wall, arms crossed.

“Then learn it.” Huh?

“How am I supposed to learn it without being taught?”

“Figure it out. Use your resources. Nowadays you can find anything you want with a click of a button.”

“But it’s literally your job.”

“Not my job to coddle you. I don’t get paid for that. This is only a favor to spare you my time anyway.”

“You don’t need to be a prick about it. Whatever, I’ll just— I’ll figure it out.” You stand up from your seat on the couch and gather your things quickly. You make your way towards the door, gripping the handle to fling it open. That is until a heavy hand slams onto the door and forces it to close with a thud.

“Did I say we were done?” That annoying, drone-like voice is far too close to your ear.

“Shouta, get off the door.”

“Answer the question.”

Ominous silence fills the room for several moments. You rest your forehead against the door, closing your eyes and exhaling.

“No.”

“‘No’ what?” You can practically feel his eyes boring holes into the side of your head. Your grip on the doorknob tightens almost as if to rip it off completely.

“No, you didn’t say we were done.”

“For a team lead, you’re not very perceptive.”

Your head snaps to the side, eyeing him down harshly. “The hell is that supposed to mean?” His gaze is void of emotion, eyes sunken in from the lack of sleep throughout the years. Corporate really got to him.

“To put it simply, you forget yourself. You take in no knowledge that is presented to you and when you do need assistance you demand it as if any of us owe you anything. Not to mention you show no respect towards your superiors.”

“You’re seriously just making things up at this point. What, I fuck up one time and now I don’t deserve to have help at all? And what are you even going on about? You and I both know I’m incredibly respectful to everyone in our department.”

“Everyone?”

“Everyone.”

For the first time during the entire conversation, he cracks a smile. A smug, shit eating grin like he knows something you don’t.

“Alright. Then prove it.”

“Prove what?” If looks could kill, Shouta Aizawa would be a dead man from the way you eye him down.

He raises a brow, a bored expression resting on his scruffy face. “Prove to me that you truly display respect. Address me as your superior.”

Your eye twitches, frustration and anger simmering below the surface of your skin.

“What, call you by your job title? Okay then ‘Project Manager.’ Happy?” Something in the way he looks at you shifts.

“I really wish you’d try harder. I’d hate to see you lose your job over something so trivial.”

“Is that a threat?”

His gaze bores into yours. It’s heavy like a warning. He just stands there, staring.

“It’s a concern.” His tone is serious. It’s like there’s something he knows that you don’t, and that pisses you off.

You straighten up, tugging on the doorknob to shake his arm off of the door. It falls back to his side, his cold eyes squint at you. You crack open the door.

“I don’t need your ‘concern’. I’ll do my job, you do yours.” And with that, you storm out of his office. He watches as you leave, a single brow raised. He crosses his arms and exhales deeply, shaking his head before striding back to his wooden desk.

[cl0wntwn]

I HAVE BEEN INSPIRED TO TALK ABOUT MY CATHAL INTERP

ok hi wow i'm posting something that isn't what i usually do but i want to share because. idk i'm autistic abt cathal and my personal interp could be taken as a mischaracterization(?) of the character so i want to ramble. it's a mix of projections, my interpretations of things cathal says/does, and headcanons. this is just gonna be a glorified bulletpoint list with little to no organization im so sorry. this obviously be inspired by this post cause i love it so much i'm rotating it in my mind please go check it out. this whole ramble was supposed to go into the tags of that post but i think i can organize it better in a text post. i can also share it easier. but please go read that post if u haven't :D

first things first, cathal is depressed.

ain't that a shocker? he's been depressed for a while, but it never really got to "i don't want to do anything ever" until he was hired at C.O.G.S. inc., and even then it's not really the main reason. it does make it hard for him to do things that he's asked of. he's not incapable of doing things though, unless he's like. super unmotivated or sad.

cathal is a papa's boy.

he loves his dad. ever since he was a kid, he's loved his dad. he appreciates the patience he has with him, he appreciates that his dad is willing to take hit for him not doing his work, his dad is first and foremost in his mind. his dad comes before his own wellbeing. which goes into my next point well...

seeing his dad being destroyed every day hurts cathal bad.

it is the main reason he hates working at C.O.G.S. inc.. yeah, the work sucks, it leaves him drained most of the time (which i will hit later), but the fact that he has to watch his own father basically fall to his death every day makes it all so much worse. not to mention he has a clear view of it from his office.

how does cathal cope with this stuff?

by distracting himself. and not doing his work at all. the work he has to do already drains him and what little energy his depression gives him, but i don't think seeing your dad dying every day helps with motivation. he distracts himself by watching tv and ignoring what he needs to do.

this is not to say that he is unaware of the work he has to do, he knows all the work he puts off piles up on him. but piles of work doesn't seem like the most easy thing to do... so he just keeps putting it off and putting it off, and his dad lets him get away with it by making excuses for him. it stresses him out, which makes him not want to do it more, and the cycle continues...

also believe it or not, cathal actually thinks about the future and is very stressed about it.

he knows that when his dad either retires or... can't work anymore, cathal's going to be the new department lead. and because he has literally no experience working where he is now. he's scared he's gonna get thrown into work he doesn't know how to do or doesn't want to do.

so why did cathal apply at C.O.G.S. inc. in the first place?

short answer, he wanted to make his dad proud and didn't process the gravity of applying to C.O.G.S. inc.. he didn't think it would take so much effort and energy to work a full time job. but now that he's been in it for a while, he's afraid to quit. he doesn't want to upset his dad or make the lack of work he's done worse by throwing it on others.

aaaand that's all i can think of. if i can think of anything else i'll edit this post and reblog it or smth. thank u for reading <3

[raisinchallah]

where does derek keep finding these abandoned buildings get a house dude he actually loves living in the fucked up abandoned buildings because they have lead and mold and toxins and asbestos and he thinks microdosing on toxic substances keeps his healing abilities sharp (it doesnt) honestly if he talked to a contractor and realized what could be done with like torture basement installation or weird underground bunkers i really think he would jump into home ownership i mean he would probably kill someone at a homeowners association meeting when neighbors are trying to sanction him for all the horrific screaming coming from his converted 50s bomb shelter/werewolf prison in his backyard and u know beacon hills is just wall to wall hoas and then it becomes a whole thing they have to kill off like half the sheriffs department again so the charges get dropped in the chaos and hes like the sturdiness of my basement bunkers really doesnt outweigh the headache of neighbors im gonna go back to living in my burned down trauma house and standing in the woods goodbye

[octoberautumnbox]

Most to least of how sexually you are attracted towards each IZ*ONE member?

wifey Yuri s-tier goddess of a woman id spill blood for her if she asked me to. perfect cutie face that could twist into RBF in a second's notice, a body to die for criminally underappreciated since IZ*ONE but especially in her later appearances my god this woman i love her so fucking much it drives me crazy

Chaewon is the perfect mix of loser cute and irresistible sexy there were so many missed stage outfits from Perfect Night i want to cry SHE LOOKED SO GOOD IN THE MV

Yujin has such a stage presence and vibe and visual that it might be the second hardest thing in the world to look away when she gets serious

Minju is such a sweet-looking girl that you just wanna corrupt her and shower her in cu-- *gunshots*

Wonyoung has such brat potential and the body to match, she's definitely a bit picky with who she'll get with (and god knows she has only the highest standards)

Eunbi especially after the Water Bomb performances,,,,, mommy vibes all around being caring and letting you suck until youre full and then some!!

Yena is hot sure but sex with her would be like talking about games and TV shows while railing her from behind which is hot in itself but also its YENA

Sakura I'll be honest I didn't really pay that much attention to throughout IZ*ONE era but Perfect Night she really caught my attention like that white form-fitting crop top and black booty shorts were chefs kiss dangerous how dare she keep that cute face through all that

Chaeyeon is probably absolutely flexible and as long as you show her a good time she's all yours to use. wouldnt be afraid to take the lead too and send you to heaven and back. and to heaven and back. and to heaven. and back. and to heav

Nako is directly linked to size kink like im pretty sure she's half my height plus she'd take me so well (the guy in her new drama is so lucky)

Hyewon ice queen would probably act all bored but deep down inside she'd be holding everything back just to make you work harder to push her over the edge like she'd have never came before

Hitomi last but only because I have a busty kink and she really doesnt do it in that department for me. on the other hand she'd be so succubus coded teasing u more and more and making you teach her her place

[junicai]

LIFE UPDATES.

hi hi angels! tis my Grand Return to the platform of tumblr hehe. its been so long since i've been active, i've really missed u all! thank u to all the lovely ppl who sent me dms checking up on me, u are all such kind souls and i adore each and every one of u.

so i figured before i jump right back into posting, i'd let u all know a little bit about what's been going on in My Life! as some backstory:

finished up my final exams in june, and i got to graduate top of my class in my secondary school which was Insanity

got an award for my contributions to the music department during my time in the school and it is at present my proudest achievement Period.

went travelling with my friends over the summer! we went to some coastal towns, and spent a lot of our time on trains just watching the countryside

started working in a hotel, saving up money for La University.

had my debs, so it's my very first black-tie event! bought the Most Gorgeous dress for it, it's everything to me

moved out! across the country! all on my own!

enrolled in university <33

realised i hated my course and transferred <33

loved my new course, and now im studying psychology + spanish through a double major!

auditioned for the university dance teams

got onto All Of Them.

(once again. Insanity.)

made lots and lots of new friends and celebrated my birthday in a new city surrounded by the most wonderful people

sat my semester one exams, of which i am anxiously awaiting my results

which leads us to, today! as of a couple hours ago, i am now exam and assignment Free which means that for the first time in what feels like many many moons, i have 5/6 weeks with nothing to do and a whole lot of inspiration.

hopefully ur all still as excited as i am about aria, daeun and sunee - i know a lot of my original audience might have become inactive during my hiatus, but im holding out hope that theres still a bunch of u hanging around. either way, feedback, screams and any assortment of yelling is Always welcome in the inbox, and i cannot wait to get back into it.

until later! - cass x

[ashenberry]

MY OPINIONS ON THOSE MAPS FROM THAT ONE POLL

Scorch Gorge

COULDVE BEEN REALLY SOLID IF the right flanks where u drop down went anywhere. or were inkable. alot of walls here are uninkable honestly for no good reason but if there was a way. As it stands. a better kelp dome i love it more then kelp dome fuck kelp dome

Eeltail Alley

HONESTLLYY??? i really like it. way better in modes when the mid bridge touches the ground in the center for more routes in but i like it a lot tbh. There like a power line grate at the begginings that exist as far as i can tell for no reason other than looks but i think if it extended across the entire map maybe around the edges with some crossing in the center it would be really awesome?? like especially for beacons

Hagglefish Market

Haggle is solid i know people love haggle i wish both flanks were good during more modes then just tower control my ideal would have the left flank that leads into enemy spawn during rain/clams exist all the time i love that shit. kind of a worst starfish mainstage tbh and i already was mixed on mainstage

Undertow Spillway

EVERYONE HATES SPILLWAY AND I DONT KNOW WHY SPILLWAY MY BELOVED U JUST NEED A LITOL FLANK A LITOL FLANK FROM THE BACK OF THE GLASS SNIPES TO THE OTHER SIDE THATS ALL YOU NEED

Mincemeat Metalworks

there is one way through this map and its through... there (the eliter department) if u do manage to get to the enemies side u cant even go behind them in every mode like cmon. there is 1 non grate way in and its bweh. solid name good name for a map

Hammerhead Bridge

people call all these other maps walleye 2 this is walleye 2. now im not a walleye hater and this is a better walleye but aough. more flanks more flanks more flanks PLEASE. i miss u grates. hammerhead wasnt even one of the better splatoon 1 maps but they made it so bland by killing the flanks like you use to be able to go places other then down the middle the side routes were climable why were all the climable walls taken out. Hammerhead shouldve felt more like a goby arena but they made it walleye how!

Mahi-Mahi Resort

gott damn they killed mahi but i still find u fun idk. its definently worst but since no one cares about the flanks since they suck i can make sneaky long ass flanks. are they worth it? no :3

Flounder Heights

LITERALLY THE BEST MAP DESPITE THE CHANGES (STOP REMOVING INKABLE WALLS STOP REMOVING FLANKS) I LOVE U FLOUNDER

Brinewater Springs

i like brinewater i wish the side under flank was a little better and the right flank from spawn would fuck really hard if it was allowed to interact with the ramp but its not so.

Wahoo World

the most mid splatoon map