#Trigger Warning: Shaming

[erinwantstowrite]

the sneak pics have me wondering why peter feel the need to keep apologizing all the time ? is it because adults used to get mad at him all the time ?

yeah he has a LOTTT of unpacking to do with that. he still thinks that because he did things like this, it gave the adults around him the excuse to yell at/say nasty things to him. peter goes into a lot of detail with Dick about his previous foster homes in chapter 15, and this time Dick knows he has to ask because Peter's response to Dick and Wally realizing he knew about the "glitches" in some way and didn't tell Dick is absolutely heartbreaking

[solargeist]

Whats YHS? whos sam?? Hhuh-

[No serious huh]

Yandere High School ..! Yeah, Yandere simulator ? That game, but in a Minecraft role play. Started by Samgladiator in 2015.

What ~doesn't happen in that series ? its genuinely insane and too much to recap.

Sam is not a good guy, [thread !] taurtis and grian cut ties with him forever ago, i think while the series was still going on even.

[maidmerrymint]

The body shaming happening to Ewan Mitchell the last couple of weeks is so disgusting!! It takes a lot of courage to put yourself in a position where you're going to be seen without your clothes by millions. In the most recent episode, he did full frontal nudity, and as soon as the episode aired, people couldn't wait to start tearing him down. All these people who are body shaming him hiding behind anonymity don't have a leg to stand on. Until they get in front of a camera naked, they have no room to talk. And even then, they shouldn't.

[thatonedemonnamedlucifer]

ngl, as much as i love the horror/grimdark/creepypasta(?) era/genre of MLP fan media, I'll never forgive bronies for what they did to the song "Smile".

[bulimixia]

who wanna be ed insta moots?! Comment ur user 0_o

[godneuteredmeforbeingtoopowerful]

CW: discussions of child neglect, food policing, abusing autistic children, fatshaming

I’ve always been confused why I have food insecurity trauma behaviors, but my family has always had the privilege of having enough food and money and whatever else. I was reflecting on this with one of my partners this morning, and realized that my parents had a lot of rules around eating that other people… didn’t? So I wanted to share some of them and… idk. I just don’t want to feel alone. Also, understanding that I am (undiagnosed as a child) autistic with sensory issues that sometimes explode into ARFID, is vital to this conversation and adds a whole other layer. Again, CW ahead.

We always had ingredients, not pre-prepared meals. And you couldn’t eat things bc they were an ingredient

Things like cheese you could snack on but you could only have a little. If you’re hungry, eat a fruit or a vegetable (notoriously some of the worst things for textural sensory issues.)

Pre-packaged snacks have a purpose- if we’re leaving the house, or if you want to take one to school. You may have one snack after school, but there’s a specific amount you’re allowed to have, and it cannot be pre-packaged. I was banned from goldfish for a period of years bc I kept ignoring the rule with it. (I was unwittingly self-medicating for POTS, because it was the saltiest thing I was allowed. The diagnosis came years later.)

Sugar was evil. I could have it several times a week, but only as dessert. I had no say in what dessert was or when. If I asked for it, the answer would automatically be no. Breakfast cereal, one of my only safe foods that I could count on, was not allowed to contain more than 8-9 grams of sugar. That ruled out things like fruity pebbles, my favorite cereal. Occasionally this rule would be broken for things like Golden Grahams, because my dad liked them, but not for anything else unless it was a special occasion.

If you miss your time slot during the day, you just don’t get that thing: i.e. snack time is from 3-4pm. If you don’t eat then, you can’t eat until dinner at 6. No food after dinner. No food between 8am and noon. No food between 1 and 3. This schedule was only allowed to deviate if mom deviated from it.

Also, if you don’t like what’s been prepared for a meal, too bad. Eat it or eat nothing.

In a similar vein, if you don’t eat all of your lunch at school, the leftovers are now your snack after school the next day so mom can watch you eat it. It was supposed to teach me to eat all my food at school. Instead I just learned to throw food away.

Foods other kids got a lot, we didn’t really. They were only for car trips or birthdays, so a few times a year. Things like chips, soda, cracker jacks, etc.

Since safe foods were policed so heavily, I learned to eat a shit ton when I could, so I could make it through potentially not eating anything else substantial until the next day, or even several days. This was usually breakfast cereal, which was guaranteed, and snack time food, which was usually something like popcorn or peanut butter celery (which I did like) or pretzels or yogurt. Hated trail mix and granola bars with a passion. This got me consistently criticized for “eating like a pig” or “wasting food” or “eating up money” when I would have 2 bowls of cereal for breakfast, especially in middle school and high school. But if I wasn’t really eating anything else during the day, and I ran out of energy from those 2 bowls by 10am, what else was I supposed to do but take it?

There was also a lot of competition for getting ahold of my safe foods when they were in the house- because I have 3 siblings. So I grew a habit of stealing and hoarding food in my room- even though that was strictly forbidden. I got busted often, but I was fucked otherwise. Or when we had things like pizza for dinner or other safe foods, I’d have several helpings (consequently getting fatshamed) because I wouldn’t know when I’d have a pleasant sensory experience again, or when I’d get to really eat again.

Also, had to clean my plate whenever I complained about dinner. Think I got bungee corded to the chair once. Had to sit at the dinner table past my bedtime a few times because the lasagna or avocado was too much and I’d puke. And then get verbally abused for it. They stopped that with my siblings. They were allowed to have pb&j after eating 3 bites, but only pb&j. What I would have given for that when I was a kid.

Anyway. Any solidarity is unfortunate but appreciated. A bit sobering now that it’s all listed out like that.

[sacrilegiousoul]

tired of feeling like this world isn’t meant for me. Or i wasn’t meant for this world.

[gardenpansy]

// The Wiring Event // Documentations

The relentless and purposeful injury to the brain is essential for creating the machine that is the adult product of trauma.

Interference, which is discouraged, allows the development of self-identity, self-assurance, and trust.

Discrediting interference establishes doubt in the machine’s self and surroundings, and ensures consistent and lifelong dependence upon the creators and bystanders.

[acteur-dramatique]

Famine of the Heart

I count my meals in ounces,

a handful of frozen peas,

corn kernels clinking in a bowl,

small, colorless meals

to fill a hunger I no longer need.

Grief over you,

Samuel,

has hollowed me out from the inside,

left my stomach tied in knots,

each swallow a battle,

each bite a reminder

that something else inside me is starving.

The pills dull the hunger,

reduce it to nausea,

a low, constant ache

I can't tell from the sadness anymore.

I've forgotten the taste of a full meal,

forgotten what it's like to eat

without feeling sick,

without wondering if it's worth it

just to keep myself whole.

Dinner comes and goes,

the clock ticks past hours

where I might have felt hunger once.

But now,

my stomach's empty as the words

I whispered to you,

the promises I kept while you let them fade.

It's all the same --

the ache, the emptiness,

this hollow where my heart used to be.

Sometimes I sit with a plate in front of me,

a fork held in trembling fingers,

trying to convince myself

to taste something more than the memory of you,

to fill this absence

with anything but your name.

But I can't,

and I push it away,

having the table as untouched

as the words I never got to say.

I know this is a famine of the heart,

a hunger gnawing deeper than flesh,

something that a handful of peas

or a slice of bread could never heal.

You've become a catalyst,

a storm brewing within,

and I'm left in its wake,

struggling to find pieces to sustain me.

Each day, I grow lighter,

a ghost of the person I was

before you left me waiting.

And I wonder,

if I fade enough,

if I empty myself over everything,

will the pain go with it?

[iwanttobekidnappedandtakenaway]

I want to be so skinny that my bones fracture and break from one single touch.

I wish I had an eating disorder so bad rn.

[ribbonpinky-art]

want to cry!!!!!! fatphobia makes me want to cry so hard

a cute pic of Seiran and chubby Ringo, then boom next panel Seiran is making Ringo do situps whilst poking her belly. stabbed straight into my heart

[theo4eve]

This might be the origin of my newfound ed

[jolivira]

Scene redraw from The Fallout (2021) one of my favorite movies!

reference:

[bluebutyellow]

TODAY, I WAS BODY SHAMED

TW: weight, food, body discussion

Today, I applied for the medical certificate required for my employment. As my vital signs were being taken and my blood pressure was being checked, a nurse (probably a senior one based on her appearance) joked about the blood pressure apparatus wrapped around my arms not fitting me. She inquired about my weight, and after I answered, she asked if I was doing this on purpose. I was taken aback. I had never been judged so blatantly in my whole life. Since childhood, my weight has been larger than most of my classmates. While I am not supposed to be considered as fat, people label me as such just because I was bigger than most of the kids.

The nurse instructed me to go on a diet and be 3 kgs lighter when I return. Given the people in the vicinity, I'm certain most heard her words. I was so shocked that I simply laughed coldly—what else could I do? She had already shamed me. I've been labeled as fat my entire life, and I should be getting used to it. However, it was asking if I'm doing this on purpose that hurt the most.

The moment she said those words to me, I wanted to punish myself. I desired to starve myself. If I could only drink water the whole day just to avoid feeling disgusted with myself, I would have done it. I don't like what I look like, especially my weight. I can't believe I'm going through this. I thought people were better. I have never been so disgusted with myself.

[anoptimisticadventurer]

2022: 223lbs

Currently: May the 17th, 2024 - 192lbs

—

Although, I am far away from my end goal, I'm really proud of the progress I've made since I pulled my back and remained bed ridden for like three months.

The only thing I'm disappointed in myself in is that I keep fluctuating in weight gain and loss. And it's not just a small 1-5lbs it's double digits and more. When I get stressed, depressed, overwhelmed, I tend to shut down and just eat all day or not eat at all.

This is why I'm working on my discipline. Moreover, I need to start doing sit-ups and push ups. Just to see if I can tone my body out. I hate doing weights but it might be something I'll also have to include. I just want to feel good about my body and right now I don't so yeah.

I still have a lot of work to do but I'm proud of this work of progress.

[thefaearealwaysamongyou]

Does anyone else have secret cringe AU's in their head that they refuse to talk about but write about privately in docs and think 'I deserve to be shot in the back of the head for this' while trying to shake all the brainworms out