#TriWitches bitches

[itsthetriwitchesbitches]

Ginny raves

it started at the burrow

and no thanks to Bill, Ginny (who was three at the time) now knows the word ‘bitch’

though this was a very rare event they had to keep it a secret from Molly(which was quite the task for Percy)

whenever Ginny was feeling down no matter what it was her brothers made it their priority to cheer her up

and their first method was to let her play quiditch with them

however that did not seem to help

so their new method was to make her a song 

and this is what they had to keep secret about

to start they had to make sure Molly and Arthur were not home 

and if they were they went out to the quiditch pitch 

to start with the confidence boosting they wait till Ginny walks in and one will turn to the other and say “she’s back, it’s the baddest bitch”

and in turn Ginny will respond “it’s Ginny bitch”

and George will start chanting her name 

“ Ginny, Ginny, Ginny, Ginny”

charlie will continue by beatboxing 

 at this point everyone has joined in 

and Bill has put Ginny on his shoulders

now that Ginny is at Hogwarts and two of her brothers are away this  doesn’t happen as often 

but one day in her first year Ginny had failed her potions test

when she got back to the Gryffindor common room after classes she stormed straight up to her dorm

when she did this her brothers decided it was time to sing her their song

however they made no effort whatsoever to clear the common room 

in fact they encouraged people to watch

when they had finally convinced Ron to join in 

( because he was a “cool” second year and didn’t want people to see this. especially harry)

Ginny came down the stairs leading to the girls dormitory and Fed turned to Percy and said “she’s back it’s the baddest bitch”

Ginny however looked annoyed at first, but then Ron came up to her and started begging her to go along with it 

“ Ginny please just go along with it they dragged me into it”

so Ginny turned to her brothers who were huddled on a singular couch and still looking very annoyed said “it’s Ginny bitch” 

 the entire common room roared with laughter and howls

and once Percy started chanting Lee Jordan LOST IT

Ron started beatboxing,  Dean and Seamus thought that this was hilarious and joined in 

and instead of GInny being on Bill’s shoulders like at home, she was on George’s shoulders, at this point the whole common room joined in 

and professors’ passing in the halls were very curious now

the only ones who were brave enough to find out what was going on were professor McGonagall and professor Flitwick 

when they enter they were not upset like most professeors would be but instead they were quite pleased

in fact professor Flitwick started breakdancing with Ginny

professor McGonagall however thought that Albus needed to see this

Albus now brings fire whiskey to every Ginny rave

“Minnie, tell me again how you came across these raves”

[itsthetriwitchesbitches]

Chaotic Freds

Building off a couple of popular headcanons, the TriWitches developed the Chaotic Freds headcanon. Credit to the creators of the headcanon that Fred Weasley becomes the Gryffindor ghost post-Battle of Hogwarts and the headcanon that eventually there are so many kids named Fred in honor of Fred Weasley at Hogwarts that it’s a bit of a mess. 

Ghost Fred is just vibing at Hogwarts for a few years, right? 

just chilling, maybe helping Peeves out once in a while 

but mostly staying out of drama

and then one day, as the first years are ushered up to the Gryffindor common room for the first time that year, Ghost Fred hears someone call out 

“Fred Longbottom! Boys’ dormitory to the right!” 

Ghost Fred’s head whips around so fast he could almost join the Headless Hunt

Too shocked to track down Fred Longbottom at the moment, Ghost Fred makes his way straight to Professor Longbottom’s office

“Has my hearing gone or have you stolen my name for your scrawny boy?”

Neville just smiles, telling him he didn’t try to steal from Fred, but instead tried to honor him

Ghost Fred is suddenly very glad that ghosts can’t cry

from that moment on Ghost Fred sets out to befriend the young Fred Longbottom

he helps him remember the common room password

and shows him the quickest ways to all his classes 

(Ghost Fred wants to show him the secret passage ways, but he’s still too much of a goody-goody professor’s son)

(Ghost Fred will work on that)

the summer comes and goes, and Ghost Fred is ready to see his new friend start his second year at Hogwarts

to his shock, Fred Longbottom comes in leading a gaggle of first year boys who all already seem to know each other, despite the prefect’s clear annoyance

Fred Longbottom leads them over to Ghost Fred’s corner of the common room, and introduces them 

Fred Potter-Weasley

Fred Granger-Weasley

Fred Delacour-Weasley 

Fred Johnson-Weasley 

and Fred Jordan 

(there’s also a Harry Wood, named after Oliver’s favorite seeker, but that’s irrelevant)

Ghost Fred’s wild glee returns to his eyes 

that whole year, Ghost Fred builds an army of troublemakers 

Fred Granger-Weasley convinces Fred Longbottom to use the passageways in week two 

Ghost Fred convinces Fred Potter-Weasley to steal the Marauder’s Map during Christmas Holidays 

Professor McGonagall is certain that Fred Jordan and Fred Delcaour-Weasley are there solely to try her wits 

and Fred Johnson-Weasley has been known to unleash a bludger into the great hall during the Halloween Feast 

(he got a howler from Molly for that one)

when packing up for the summer holidays that year, the army of Freds comes down to Ghost Fred’s spot in the common room one last time

“King Fred deserves a crown,” says Fred Potter-Weasley, as Fred Longbottom places the papier-mache crown on King Fred’s brow

King Fred never takes it off 

no one thought the chaos could grow after that year 

but then next year brings a strawberry blonde Gryffindor first year girl

she spots the army of Freds plotting by the common room fireplace and doesn’t hesitate to introduce herself with an audacity and eccentric air that King Fred finds slightly familiar 

“I’m Fred Lovegood,”

the boys lose their minds and King Fred names her Princess Fred immediately 

she isn’t sure what she’s gotten into, but she’s quite pleased with herself 

Fred Longbottom doesn’t hesitate to make Princess Fred a papier-mache tiara 

Fred Longbottom has also broken down enough to smuggle the army through the passageways to Hogsmeade 

Freds Potter-Weasley and Jordan are on the Gryffindor quidditch team

and King Fred and the army goes to cheer them on every game 

(and distract them at every practice)

the first time Princess Fred gets an O on her Charms homework (which she’s been struggling with for weeks), the Freds have a parade through the castle 

King Fred hoists her on his shoulders, crowns on full display, and flies her slightly above the army marching and cheering around them 

they have streamers and are shouting and singing for her

Princess Fred just laughs and sings with them

they end by busting down the door of the Great Hall, fashionably late for dinner 

(all the Freds give her their share of pudding.)

(she is sick all evening, but it is worth it.)

Bonus: 

the first time the silver trio meets up for tea during Fred Lovegood’s first year, Luna asks Neville how she’s faring at Hogwarts 

Ginny and Neville share a knowing look 

(because of course they know about the army)

“She’s...” Neville starts 

“She’s joined a cult.” Ginny finishes 

“Oh, good for her!” Luna coos

[itsthetriwitchesbitches]

Shit sisters say as inter-house relations 1/?

Hufflepuff: I don’t know why y’all judge me so much. It’s not like I do anything weird... not weirder than marijuana, anyway

Ravenclaw: weirder than Moana???

Hufflepuff: well, I’m weirder than Dwayne the Rock Johnson, but not my point

[itsthetriwitchesbitches]

Meet the TriWitches

The TriWitches - Khalila, Peg, and Thea Arrowood - are proud to welcome you to their inter-house hideaway. As our hideaway is newly public, we thought that the best way to kickstart sharing our sisterly humor was to introduce ourselves. The following posts are a bit about each of us, but for now we’ll introduce our page and the commonalities between us as sisters. 

Our page is founded on the concept of sharing our constant (and mostly Harry Potter based) banter, jokes, and elaborate headcanons with anyone who wishes to see them. Any asks or submissions will be answered as our hilarious selves. Please feel free to ask more about us (although we do reserve the right to not answer!), send us posts you think we might like or could build headcanons off of, or anything you think we might find amusing!

As for us, we’re three half-blood witches who play a little too much “Harry Potter: Hogwarts Battle.” We love our boxer dog, goofing off together, and music (even though our tastes vary greatly!). We have been using our recent time together to talk Harry Potter like crazy, and thought all our ramblings deserved an internet home of their own. 

That’s about it. Welcome to the hideaway, help yourself to the biscuits on the table and the tea in the kettle. See you around Hogwarts and the rest of the  Wizarding World!