#Transubstantiate Redux or Sublimating Lucy Whilst at Church

[lifeinpoetry]

I want a named, holy thing to fuck my brains out, to turn my need to be filled up and spread out and hungry into some kind of Grace.

I want to cuss my lover’s name in ecstasy and have it be the prayer I always hoped it was

— Caroline Randall Williams, "Transubstantiate, Redux or, Sublimating Lucy Whilst at Church," Lucy Negro, Redux

[lifeinpoetry]

I want to have sex in a church and feel undivided— communion is intercourse, after all, the taking of a man’s body and blood into mine—

to feel undivided when I wrap my legs around some body I do not love just because he’s a big boy,

and that is the only way a man ever seems in charge in this life.

It is the same want. It is the prayer I cannot pray alone.

— Caroline Randall Williams, "Transubstantiate, Redux or, Sublimating Lucy Whilst at Church," Lucy Negro, Redux

[lifeinpoetry]

They keep finding me, these men called Who is Like God— finding my mouth and body, and I am become sure that the name itself does not matter. The name is only a harbinger,

. is only the closest articulation of the violent love I feel at prayer.

— Caroline Randall Williams, "Transubstantiate, Redux or, Sublimating Lucy Whilst at Church," Lucy Negro, Redux

accessible version:

They keep finding me, these men called Who is Like God— finding my mouth and body, and I am become sure that the name itself does not matter. The name is only a harbinger,

is only the closest articulation of the violent love I feel at prayer.