#Top10Memories

[akocomyk]

An Extra Pin

Cityland Calle Estacion

So, there’s one last pin I’d like to talk about.

This one’s a bit different from the rest though. When I was listing the pins and deciding which to include in the Top 10 and which to leave as honorable mentions, this one stood out—not for a grand story, but for the lack of one. And I don’t mean that in a bad way.

It’s still a collection of memorable moments, but they’re not as out-of-the-ordinary as the Top 10. They’re more like… small memories that could happen everyday.

It’s the same reason my house wasn’t included—or even considered—because, well, it’s my home. Practically everything that happens in an ordinary family home happens there, and those moments, while special, are just little pieces of a bigger picture. Someday I’ll recall them; someday I won’t. There will be scenes that I could remember and inject while having a conversation with someone.

So… yeah. This condominium building is where I’ve been staying for about half of my life these past few months. It’s where my boyfriend lives, so you get the idea. There were many firsts for the two of us there, along with the kind of moments that happen in anyone’s daily life—or in the lives of couples starting out together.

And now, it’s become my second home. Literally. Of course, I could always say figuratively that “QBE is my second home,” because of how much I enjoy working there and love the people I work with.

But for Nikki and I… As Jack Johnson says in his song, “Home is wherever we are, if there’s love there too.”

[akocomyk]

3rd Pin

Bonifacio Global City

Ages ago, I loathed going to BGC. I equated it with being stranded in hours of traffic and the struggle of finding transportation in and out of the area. My previous company had an office there, but I only went three times—if I remember correctly. Two of those times were because I absolutely had to be there, and the third was to say goodbye to my former teammates.

However, as I spent more time in BGC, the place started to grow on me. You can imagine. I accepted my work there, and honestly, it turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve made in recent memory.

It was because of my work that BGC became such a memorable place in 2024—that and a few other stories.

It was there I met new friends. It was there I started pushing my advocacies for the Pride Community and sustainability in my own little ways. It was there I reignited my passion for dancing. And it was there I experienced some of the most remarkable moments of my life.

When Seandale and I were together, before he started working at QBE, he’d come visit me at the office by the time I logged off, and we’d have dinner before I went home. When he did start his tenure, we synchronized our office days so we could have dinner together.

I had my first Valentine’s date with him. My first boyfriend and I were in a long-distance relationship, so we never celebrated Valentine’s Day together. With Seandale, we had dinner, and he gave me a crocheted tulip.

We also had our last “date” in BGC. It was Easter Sunday, and I was deciding whether to buy a new phone and, if so, which one. Seandale, an Apple enthusiast, urged me to get an iPhone. I initially leaned toward a Samsung phone paired with a watch—practical gadgets that wouldn’t strain my finances.

We browsed Uptown Mall but didn’t find anything that convinced me. Over coffee at Starbucks, we played Mario Kart on my Nintendo Switch. He couldn’t beat me. 😀 For the record, no boyfriend has ever beaten me at Mario Kart—maybe one or two races, but I always rank higher when scores are tallied.

We then walked to SM Aura. That’s where he convinced me to buy an iPhone. I’d pay it on installment and Seandale promised that he would partially shoulder the payment, indicating that it would serve as his gift for all the monthsaries that we’d have. He admitted he struggles to think of what gifts to give me, so paying for the monthly installment of the phone would be easier for him.

So yeah. That’s when I got my first iPhone. Truth be told, I didn’t think it was the most reasonable purchase ever. My friends in my previous work believed iPhones are just all hype and there are tons of other phones out there that had better specs for the same price. However, I eventually came to love the damn phone since it has features that aided my passion for arts, design, and storytelling—hence it also became a useful tool for work.

First photo I took from the iPhone.

Seandale and I broke up about nine days later.

The next time I’d see him was when he reported to the office the same day I did. We had dinner together and we talked about us. Yeah. We were over. It was at that time that he pointed out a waiter, saying he was the guy who messaged him weeks ago. For context: the guy claimed he knew me and that we’d had sex. Without proof, Seandale believed him.

Anyway, we were able to sort out that issue weeks before. I looked at that waiter and said to myself in an imaginary grimacing face, “Eww.” Further on that dinner, Seandale shared that he created a Grindr account to check if I was there, because he had also seen the said waiter there.

But like I’ve always said to anyone. I don’t have—and never had—a Grindr account.

I don’t think Seandale ever believed that.

Anyway...

Days later, while riding the BGC Bus home, I messaged Doc John. I needed to fulfill a promise.

Back on February 12, Doc John and I had our last dinner before we’d stop talking for a while. It was a very awkward dinner. He’d just come from his last session for his oral surgery training, then he’ll be going back to Bukidnon in a few days and wouldn’t return to Manila any time soon. 

That’s when Doc John told me that… he spoke to his closest friends about our dilemma—the two guys pursuing me. And his friend advised him that… I should just choose one immediately, so that it’d all be done with, and all the hurting the three of us were experiencing would already be over.

And I’d be lying if I’d say that I don’t totally enjoy Doc John’s company. It’s just that he had some irks or mannerisms that I couldn’t tolerate, and it would be wrong to ask him to change those for me because they’re not really detrimental and I thought that he might start losing himself for me.

And that’s just cruel. Nevertheless, any outcome from the situation we’re in was cruel.

Doc John’s photo souvenir from his training and the Minion toy he gave me for my birthday.

While Doc John and I were having drinks, I told him. I was choosing Seandale. Of course, he cried, and the only thing I could do was put my arms around him and say sorry. It was “double dead” for him, he said. After being friendzoned by the boy he loved from last year, here comes me, doing the same thing. It’s ironic because I was the one who helped him overcome his depression brought by that previous friendzoning.

In my defense, had he said months before that he was ready and we won’t be “just friends updating each other,” I would’ve pushed through with him. I would’ve stopped dating other guys, and the thing with Kenth Charles wouldn’t have happened.

After crying, Doc John made me promise that if ever Seandale and I broke up—whenever that maybe, even if it’ll be years later—I’d go talk to him again. We couldn’t tell if Doc John would still be available by then, yet I promised him that he’ll be the first person I’d talk to—then maybe we can try again.

If months before… he wasn’t ready yet. But now that he is, I have already found someone else. Seems like it’s just wrong timing. Maybe someday… the stars would align for us. Maybe that would be the right time.

We pinky promised to that.

Then I told him, when someone new comes to his life and is ready to take a risk on him, don’t be afraid to jump on it even if he’s still not okay. He may never know, maybe that’s the person who’ll change his life and be the reason for him to be okay.

The next time I saw Doc John was when we watched Rent at the RCBC Plaza.

Months after, I’d already been watching movies with Nikki in BGC. The first was Strange Darling. We wore matching AF1 triple white shoes—I’d been wearing mine for dance training earlier that day. It was the first time we kissed, as we exited the cinema. We had difficulty going home later that night because it was raining so hard and a lot of people were stranded on the pavement between malls and other establishments. We kissed again under my umbrella that sheltered us from the rain, and that’s when I said, “I’m happy when I’m with you.”

The next movie was Wicked at Uptown Mall cinemas. He was a fan of the musical, and though I’ve never really watched the musical itself, I’m just a fan of the songs “Defying Gravity” and “Popular”. Other than that, I’m really not familiar with how the story goes.

But damn. God, I was crying so hard during that Ooziest scene.

Nikki and I have shared many more lunches and dinners in BGC since then. And probably more in the future.

[akocomyk]

4th Pin

City of Manila

Particularly the area around the National Museum and Intramuros—with an honorable mention to Quiapo.

Unintentionally, the National Museum has become one of my favorite places to visit. The first time I went there was back in college—I can’t recall if I visited it earlier during the many school field trips we had when I was younger.

Fast forward to 2024. I was there on February 10, and Seandale was with me. The day started with us attending Mass at Quiapo Church—this was when he gave me his promise ring. He also handed me a letter afterward when we were having coffee at Starbucks.

The letter was an ode to how much he loved me and served as a sort of parting gift since he was trying to let me go at the time. For context: two people were pursuing me—Doc John and Seandale. He was pushing me to pick Doc John instead of him and promised to still be there for me, even if we didn’t end up together. He told me that if Doc John ever hurt me and things didn’t work out, he’d help me rebuild myself.

I didn’t like that gift—or what he was saying. Even though I’d known Doc John longer, I enjoyed Seandale’s company far more, which was one of the reasons I leaned toward choosing him.

Anyway, we went to the National Museum of Natural History—arguably my favorite of the three museums in Manila, though the Fine Arts comes very close. It was Seandale’s first time there. I think it was my fourth? Some of the interactive exhibits didn’t work as they did back in 2022, the first time I visited.

Seandale wasn’t very enthusiastic about the displays at first, but I encouraged him to appreciate them more—I mean, duh, it’s a museum; you’re bound to learn something new. And he did. I like it when he tries new things, especially when he learns from them.

After the museum, we went to Intramuros. We walked around and visited San Agustin Church, Fort Santiago, and Manila Cathedral. We enjoyed some sorbetes while hanging out at the park in front of the cathedral.

To cap the night off, we went to the Bonifacio and the Katipunan Revolution Monument. That’s where we talked—mostly him telling me to choose Doc John, and me brushing the idea off because it was him I wanted. It was him I loved. I even stated the idea that I should just choose no one—so no one would have me and all of us will be devastated equally. I thought that was the fairest solution I had.

In the end, I told him to just wait. And on February 13, Seandale became my boyfriend.

On February 17, we—my sister and her friends from work—joined WanderManila’s One Night in Intramuros walk tour. Two of my sister's friends couldn’t make it, hence we had extra tickets—so I invited Seandale to come. I knew it was his best friend’s birthday so I doubted if he would say yes. Then he said, he’d always choose every chance to spend time with me.

That day, we originally planned to have lunch at Ying Ying Tea House in Binondo, but it was unfortunately too crowded and we’d have to wait hours to have a table, so we decided to eat at Intramuros instead. We went to Barbara’s for their unlimited lunch buffet, located just across San Agustin Church, which was the assembly area for the tour later that evening.

After lunch, we killed time at La Cathedral Café, where Seandale joined us. Then we returned to San Agustin Church for the tour.

The tour? Not what you might expect. It was a walking tour around Intramuros—the highlight being Fort Santiago, our last stop. The tour basically involved stopping at notable sites where the guide would tell stories. We weren’t hunting ghosts, if that’s what you were thinking. It was more of a dive into places where paranormal activities were recorded and historians were able to back it up with actual events to somehow explain why the place was haunted.

Then life happened.

The next time I was in Intramuros was for our Takpul volunteering activity at work on October 5. Takpul is our twist on the Swedish plogging activity—jogging while picking up trash. It’s a mix of health awareness and environmental preservation. I participated as our team’s photographer and as an active member of Team Verde supporting our initiatives.

It was a hectic day for me because we were also preparing for a dance competition—I’d joined the dance club at work. Two dancers joined Takpul as well, so I spent much of the time with them and ended up taking a lot of photos of them.

Seandale participated too, but he was grouped with another team, so I didn’t get to mingle with him that much.

As a reward for the volunteers, we were given a guided tour around Plaza Moriones and Fort Santiago. Unfortunately, it wasn’t even close to our One Night in Intramuros tour. I found it soulless and lacking in energy and depth, and probably because our guide is still inexperienced—I could feel his nerves whenever he spoke.

AND FINALLY.

On December 15, Nikki and I visited the National Museum of Fine Arts and Natural History. He had never been to any of them, so I suggested it. These museums have become some of my favorite places, even though they bring back so many memories. Maybe going there repeatedly can replace old memories with better ones?

Nikki seemed to prefer Fine Arts over Natural History. We spent more time appreciating the paintings than looking at preserved animals. Plus, he’s terrified of snakes. He literally dragged me away from DEAD snakes in glass displays.

Although he enjoyed seeing Lolong—the largest crocodile ever held in captivity, whose remains are now preserved in the museum. He literally greeted him like an old friend, one of the museum visitors even looked at him strangely. Apparently, he’d seen Lolong when he was still alive during the time he and his family visited the animal’s poorly kept enclosure in Bunawan.

And… that’s it for the City of Manila.

[akocomyk]

8th Pin

RCBC Plaza

When all hell broke loose with Kenth Charles on the 26th of December 2023, and I posted a 💔 note on my instagram, one person was quick to react and ask me how I was.

It was John.

He kept checking up on me in the days that followed. At the start of the New Year, he wanted to watch a musical with me and he wanted me to check anything that’s available for January. It was going to be his birthday gift for me.

Unfortunately, we didn’t get to watch any that month. But we did manage to see each other a couple of times.

And then life happened. We stopped seeing each other for a while, and we also stopped sending messages. We didn’t talk again until the latter half of April 2024. By then, several musicals were already ongoing, but I suggested we watch 9 Works Theatrical’s local production of Rent, which was being performed at the Carlos P. Romulo Auditorium at the RCBC Plaza. Beyond my sentimental affection for the song “Seasons of Love,” the musical’s themes around HIV/AIDS awareness are causes I hold close to my heart. These are also why when Seandale and I were still together, I expressed interest that we watch it together—but shit happened.

And so, there we were. After months of not seeing each other—and dealing with life’s twists—I got to spend time with John again.

The musical was... how do I even describe it? Mesmerizing. Impactful. I cried at least twice during the show. I don’t know if John noticed, but honestly, I didn’t care.

We had dinner at Denny’s after, and we... talked.

Then we kissed each other goodbye.

That was the last time I saw him.

[akocomyk]

#LoveLabanSaQc

2023’s 4th Most Memorable Moment

The biggest Pride event in Southeast Asia happened on June 24, 2023 at the Quezon Memorial Circle during the PridePH Festival.

I was one of the +110,00 who gathered there to fight for our rights, and I was part of the delegation of my former company who joined the Pride march.

During this time, I had already been active in Bumble and I’ve already told my newfound friends who would also be attending that we could meet there.

One of those friends was also an employee of Accenture, and we talked about meeting there on the PridePH event since we both signed up as volunteer representatives for the Pride March.

Volunteers had to attend a briefing session a day before the event so that we’d know what our group’s plan would be. My friend wasn’t able to attend this because he was on the night shift, so I did my best to relay to him all the important information he needed to know.

Then apparently, he received another email saying that he’s one of the volunteers who would have an “extra role” for our group, since he ticked the box in the registration form indicating that he’s willing to help the core team members of our Pride group. He mistakenly thought that ticking the box meant he simply wanted to join the march.

As explained during the briefing, some of these roles include holding flags, banners, picket signs, and people who would be left in our assembly area.

My friend was worried because he didn’t want the additional role—he just wanted to walk—yet he got assigned as a banner bearer. Then I volunteered to help him do that in case he got tired.

On the day itself, it was so difficult to contact anybody because of the sketchy network signal. People say this was for security reasons since there would be a huge crowd. So... I wasn’t able to meet any of those people I said I would meet... Except, of course, my friend from Accenture.

As promised, I helped him carry the banner—which by the latter half of the march was only carried by me and his other friend—and that’s how I ended up being in the front of my former company’s delegation.

We walked roughly five kilometers around Quezon City, starting from the memorial circle and going back. Seeing other people greet us, “Happy Pride!” brought such warm feelings to my heart. And upon our return to the venue, it was already packed, and the crowd was welcoming us with cheers and applause. That’s when I first thought, “WOW! There’s A LOT of people now.” And Nica Del Rosario was playing on the center stage when we’ve already returned to our group’s assembly area.

This was my first time joining a Pride march and a PridePH Celebration. Like I said in my original post about this moment, I promised that I would participate to it even if I’d be on my own. The experience was exhilarating and liberating, and to be amongst my community is just... you know, I felt like I can be myself wholeheartedly without the fear of being judged.

That said, I made yet another promise to myself—and another friend of mine—that I’ll join the next Pride celebration again.

[akocomyk]

It sipped away like a bottle of wine ♫

2023’s 5th Most Memorable Moment

Let’s start this first by introducing the main characters of this memory. All of them have actually been mentioned in the earlier entries in this list, but we shall use aliases for them.

Jeff, he’s the guy I promised to date until the end of 2023. Val, he graduated college from the same school I graduated high school from. And Surge, he’s a teacher.

On the first week of August, I’ve been constantly talking with Val. He’s the apple of my eye then, even when it’s quite difficult to find time to have a chitchat since he’s in the night shift. Still, when he’s not busy, he messaged me even at midnight. He was the first person who made me stop talking to other people, and made me stop swiping in Bumble. During the anniversary concert of my cousin’s local restaurant, I was chatting him, telling which bands were playing.

Val and I met once at a local café here in our city, then we walked around until we got to the bus terminal.

There was a turning point when Val had become too busy with work and had days when he no longer chatted, until he became inconsistent. It hurt me a little bit, so in turn, I went back to swiping in Bumble.

Come this time, Jeff was still in the picture. We still talked, albeit not as frequent as before, and I no longer had the same enthusiasm as I did. We still met on some weekends then for breakfast.

Then here comes Surge, a new Bumble match, whose first message asked if he could see an unmuted video of my “Best Part” cover in my profile. And I replied something like, “Dude, just press the unmute button.” Then he wanted to see more, so we immediately connected in IG after. That’s when he saw all the covers that I posted on my profile, and he showered me with compliments and gave me a bunch of song requests. He even sent a voice record as well, just to demonstrate what song he was talking about. And... OMG, I was... I mean, if there’s love at first sight, could there also be love at first sound? or voice?

That’s how we began. We found so many connections between the two of us. He enjoyed talking to me since it was nothing like he experienced before within the time that he used Bumble. And I really enjoyed talking to him too. Eventually, Surge became the second person to make me stop swiping in Bumble. And at that point, I really thought he could be the one. I then stopped chatting with Val, and I barely chatted with Jeff.

Surge requested that I make a cover of my most favorite song in the Taylor Swift's album Lover. So I—who’s not really much of a Swiftie—listened to the entire album and even asked help from a Swiftie friend. Eventually, I made my own indie folk rendition of the song “Cornelia Street”.

Surge went gaga when I sent that video to him. Apparently, it was his favorite song in the album too. He said that prior to meeting me, he always cried when he heard that song because it reminded him of his ex. However, hearing my rendition made him smile.

There was a time in August when my sister, her friend, and I were in IKEA. Surge and I were chatting until he had to take a nap. Then here comes another factor in the equation. While we were in line at the cash register, Ge (my ex) sent a message, after two months of not saying any word to me. And then... we talked about the stuff that we missed in our lives since we stopped messaging last June. Apparently, he was about to start working for the government then as an RND. He sent a selfie, like he used to, and that’s when I saw that he still wore the necklace and promise ring that I gave him. And he also had some indirect statements that make suggestions about us. We then continued to message each other occasionally after this.

Fast forward to my sister’s birthday. Jeff, on the night before, asked if we should still continue our situationship, to which I said yes ‘coz I promised him ‘til the end of 2023. He had been wondering because I’d been cold to him in the recent weeks. He agreed to my answer initially. However, while we’re having my sister’s party and I was slightly tipsy, he messaged me that he’d make the decision for us and he would like us to just be friends. And I was like... okay. I’d agree then, but I hate to break my promise. A day after, he posted an IG story of him checking in at a hotel that I’ve been to before, so I asked what he was doing there, and he told me he’s having a staycation with some guy.

Okaaaay.

On the other hand, Surge was in Sagada. He told me he he’s saving battery and data before he climbed up there, but he was able to post some stories throughout his stay there that lasted for around three days.

Val sent messages to me the day after my sister’s birthday, checking if I was okay, because he missed yung pangungulit ko. I apologized for not being able to talk to him in the past week or so, and said I would make sure na kukulitin na ulit kita. And we started messaging each other constantly again after this.

On August 28, while we were at a wake, Surge sent me a long message after almost three days of ignoring me. He said he wasn’t ready for commitment, and he was still unsure about what he needed to prioritize at that point in his life. He said that I didn’t do anything wrong, he just didn’t want to use me to fully move on from his last breakup since he knew he still hadn’t fully recovered.

I accepted his words. I told him I liked him, and he told me he liked me too but I deserve someone better. I wanted to cry then, but I couldn’t because it would’ve been totally weird—I mean yeah, we were at a wake, but you know.

A few days later, I went back to check on his Bumble profile. Then I saw that he made a few updates.

‘Di ready for commitment pero gagamit pa rin ng Bumble? Pinaglololoko niyo ba ‘ko, Sir? May BFF mode naman ‘di ba?

I’m kidding.

It was this time that I tried learning how to play “Tadhana” by Up Dharma Down on the piano, just to relieve my emotional breakdown. Dahil ‘di ko na kaya ang pag-alab ng aking puso.

Charot.

Jeff asked if we could go out one last time that next weekend, after reading some of my blog posts. That wasn’t the last time we saw each other.

Val and I eventually stopped talking, just some occasional kumustahan.

Surge never talked to me again but we’re still connected in IG.

Ge greeted me, “HNY! 🎊”

[akocomyk]

Goodbye, Accenture

2023’s 7th Most Memorable Moment

And hello, QBE.

For those who haven’t caught up wih the news yet... Yes, I’ve already left my job at Accenture and I’m currently on my third week here in QBE.

During the days I was going back and forth in Manila to get through my pre-employment requirements, someone special to me shared The Philppine STAR Playlist 💙💛 on Spotify, and it’s been on my library ever since. One of the songs in that playlist that I’ve listened to in repeat was this:

I mean... just the lyrics “Gusto kong ibigay buhay na gusto mo,” are the perfect words to embody the reason why we strive to provide the best life for ourselves and the people we love.

Whenever I was asked to tell the story why I chose to leave Accenture, I always start back in April or May this past year. That was when recruiters from other companies reached out to me via LinkedIn and offered opportunities. During that time, I updated my resumé and portfolio.

A very close friend of mine from work was very supportive of me. She thought that my promotion has long been overdue, and if this can only be offered outside of our company, then so be it. She advised me to jump on the opportunity now when I’m still young and flexible enough to handle the transition, because I deserve to grow in my career. I don’t deserve to be wasted doing the same things over and over when I can already go out there and do more—earn more.

Going back to our story... Of course, none of the applications from that era was successful. I simply kept on the positive mindset. If they didn’t hire me, then maybe because God spared me from the worse. And besides, I still had Accenture with me—and maybe, the overdue promotion would come soon enough. At least I was able to refresh my interview skills and see my worth in the career market.

Fast forward to last October when a very harrowing announcement rattled our minds, bodies, and souls. I was almost positive that the long-awaited promotion isn’t coming this year. This triggered me to send various applications simply out of spite—good thing I have an updated resumé and portfolio.

Then, my application for QBE was noticed. In those series of interviews, I knew I did my best, but I was also unintentionally making a fool of myself.

Obviously, it didn’t hurt my chances. Maybe my personality shone through and they felt it? And maybe that’s exactly what they need? Then there’s also my relentless eagerness to learn new things.

Anyway, so the entire recruitment process lasted for around two weeks, then I was given a job offer and I accepted.

I talked to my former lead who just got back from her vacation in Japan, and she was shocked at how quick the events unfolded. Then I received the news that all three designers under her have tendered their resignations.

That’s just… Wow. 😅

So now, three weeks in, work at QBE seems promising, judging from the stories of the people I’ve encountered so far. And guess what? Most of my teammates are former employees of Accenture as well.

Let's all hope and pray for greater things ahead.

And here's a my first selfie in the office during my first day.

[akocomyk]

Dating Game

2023’s 8th Most Memorable Moment

When my ex and I broke up, one of my friends urged me to talk and meet new people through Bumble dating. It can be my distraction and coping mechanism from the heavy emotions I was feeling. My goal was to just enjoy the dating experience and not necessarily focus on getting in a relationship—if it does happen, then good, but if not, then that’s also okay.

What’s important is for me to not wallow on the side effects of my grief.

When I set up my profile, I included a video of me doing a cover of Daniel Caesar (and H.E.R.)’s song.

Did it work? It damn well did.

And in turn, it gave me one of the craziest experiences in my life—and there’ll be more about this as we go further up the Top 11 list.

In the first one to two weeks I’d been swiping and talking, at least five people expressed their intentions in going out with me. There was also a period when three people were courting me at the same time. And... Yeah, this wasn’t even the crazy part I mentioned earlier.

There were 14 notable people in this experience, including those I had been in significant talking stages: Steph, Pat, Shan, Gerome, Boom, Rupert, Vry, Adri, Jai, Kenneth, Kim, Keith, James, and John.

Most of these people I talked to or went out with from June to August. One of them was the guy whom I promised to date ‘til the end of 2023. One had halitosis. One hoped he could get a partner before he moved to the US. One I liked but was inconsistent. There’s one guy I really vibed with and we had mutual feelings for each other, but he said he was indecisive and I deserve someone more than him. Then there’s a dentist who hasn’t moved on yet from his past heartbreak—we still talk to this day.

So, unfortunately, none of them ended up being my partner—at least, for now? I mean, we can’t tell what the future has for us. However, I’m still thankful that these people have been a part of my 2023. No matter how small that part may be, I’d still have them etched in my memory.

I’m no longer as active in Bumble as I was before. Because... reasons. And one of those reasons is… dating can be quite exhaustive. You talk to people, you let them in to your life, you meet them, etc., and even after doing all this, nothing happens still. You’re just left emotionally, physically, and financially drained. And it’s not easy to take in the fact that you hurt people when you’re incapable of loving them back, even when they’ve done nothing wrong and only mean to make you happy.

Kaya nga may nagsabi sa’kin ng, “Loving you is not for the faint of heart.”

If there’s any good takeaway from this memory, it’s how I regained my confidence in conversing with other people. And more importantly, I was able to realize my worth as a person. In a sense, no longer will I accept the bare minimum if someone desires to jump on a commitment with me. I have witnessed what people are willing to do to win my heart, and it showed me the difference between the things that I deserve and don’t deserve.

[akocomyk]

Ice Skating + Johnoy

2023’s 10th Most Memorable Moment

Back in July, I started seeing a guy whom I met in Bumble, but I didn’t friendzone him after our first date because I still saw potential in him.

On our second date, I told him he wasn’t the only person I was entertaining, so he made me promise that we’d go out until the end of 2023, and then I’ll decide if I’ll friendzone him or not. However, we won’t be exclusive—we could still see other people as we please.

The last time we saw each other was in October 28 when we went ice skating in Mall of Asia, then went to see Johnoy Danao’s live show at Third Bloom Café in Naic, Cavite.

So... on our bus ride going to Naic, although I may be remembering it wrong, this song played on the radio.

Regardless, that song played in the background many times in the numerous dates we had, therefore I’m reminded of him every time the song plays.

Going back. This was the first time that I learned how to skate—I didn’t even have roller skates when I was a kid. AND I ENJOYED IT, despite the minor injuries I incurred while doing so. And I really wanted to try ice skating again until I can do it properly.

Then... watching Johnoy Danao in a very intimate setting was magical. He’s one of the biggest influences in my musicality, so you can just imagine how hard I restrained myself from fanboying inside the café. This wasn’t the first time I’ve seen him perform—he was in Leni’s rallies during the 2022 campaign period—but watching him up-close was an entirely different experience.

• • • • •

And to you, my ever so effortful friend,

Thank you for all that you did for me in the past year. You’ve made my 2023 a lot less boring and painful, and for that, I’ll always be grateful. Again, I’m so sorry for all the pain I caused you. I’m also sorry for only seeing you as a friend.

I picked this date out of all the dates we had because it made me realize what I have been looking for in you—the reason why I couldn’t return your feelings for me. Remember, I’ve always wondered what it was that you lacked.

You have some sort of emotional detachment—at least, that’s what it seemed to me. I recognize and appreciate the effort that you put into everything—and your gestures were very impressive—but I somehow couldn’t feel the genuine compassion, respect, and concern for me even when your actions intend to make me feel that I’m cared for.

And as a general attitude of mine, I tend to naturally reciprocate how others treat me. So with you, you can imagine me mirroring a frozen heart that’s unwilling to melt.

Nevertheless, if you do like the version of you when you’re with me, I hope that you retain this even when I’m not with you.

In the end, we both know another person deserves this kind of love from you. When they come, all that you do will be just enough for them.

Stay strong. I know you’ve already gone through so much shit in your life—I hate to be one of them—but I still wish you all the best.

At friends pa rin naman tayo 'di ba.

[akocomyk]

The 11 Hearts of My 2023

Looking back on how the year went, I thought I really didn't do anything quite remarkable—aside for getting my heart broken for at least three times. And to be honest, doing this annual tradition of mine for 2023 seems like a stretch.

Regardless, even when all the most unexpected things happened, both good and bad, life is still worth celebrating.

Which is why I'm still doing this Top 10 Most Memorable Moments list.

Since this is the eleventh year, I'm listing down eleven memories instead of the usual ten. And... I only had eleven memories in contention for the list, so it would've been a bummer for that one and only memory to be declared as an honorable mention.

And... I thought using hearts to symbolize how I felt for each memory is quite fitting since a lot of things this year revolved around some aspect of love.

Also, I decided to make a playlist for this—similar to what I did last year, wherein each song represents a memory.

If you wanna have a go on guessing what those memories are, here's the playlist:

[akocomyk]

1st Pin

Maybank Performing Arts Theater

There was one thing that kept my life sooo busy in the latter half of the year. Typically, it’s not work; however, it’s almost work-related.

You see, at QBE, we value our employees’ work-life balance and support our people’s well-being. Hence, we have these community advocacy groups (CAGs) that cater to our employees’ diverse interests.

One of those groups is the SynQ Dance Club (SynQ), which started as a group of dancers performing at outreach programs organized by our company.

As part of this year’s health and wellness program, dubbed MobilityCheQ, SynQ scheduled a series of Zumba sessions and various dance classes from May to August.

Part of my role as the Creative Multimedia Communications Specialist is promoting our various engagement activities through our communications channels. That said, I’ve worked a lot with our Inclusion & Wellness team and the POCs of our various CAGs.

Out of my sheer willingness to support these programs (for which I created the promotional materials myself)—and in support of my friends who made an effort to organize these activities—I promised myself I’d participate in all of them whenever I could.

So… yeah, I joined the first Zumba session that SynQ organized. That’s where I first met the group’s members and POCs, most of whom I’d only met virtually during our meetings.

During that Zumba session, Geri, the leader of SynQ, commended me, entertained by the way I danced, and invited me to become a member of their group. I was hesitant at first because, at that point, I was already part of the Pride Council, and our activities for Pride Month were fast approaching. I also intended to join MusiQ—the CAG for singers and musicians.

In the end, I gave in to their invitation. Geri instantly invited me to join their succeeding dance classes—in addition to participating in the Zumba sessions. She also gave me a heads-up that they were planning to join a dance competition in the coming months.

Once we received the competition details, we began preparing. It wasn’t an easy journey. At first, we weren’t sure if our requested budget would be approved—this would determine who our dance coach would be. Thankfully, it was approved, and we got the coach we really wanted.

We started conditioning ourselves, and that’s when I began going to the office frequently to attend training sessions. It wasn’t easy since our training schedule overlapped with my shift, and they didn’t always coincide with the days I had to be in the office for other work-related events. Some weeks, I had to commute from Cavite City to BGC and back four days in a row. Add to that volunteer activities on Saturdays, followed by dance training in the afternoon.

Coincidentally, Nikki and I had already started going steady by this time. He offered me a place to stay in his condo on days I had to be in the office. And… I agreed.

Anyway, training continued. I haven’t had this much dance training since I was a cheerleader in college. Granted, our routine wasn’t as physically demanding as cheerleading, but it still required proper skills and techniques. Having been trained in contemporary ballet, folk dance, and cheerleading, this was my first encounter with street dance genres like hip-hop, femme, dancehall, pop & lock, and waacking.

Of course, during these training sessions, I made new friends at QBE. They were the most fun people to hang out with.

Anywhoooo, the last few days were the most crucial part of our training—and probably some of the most memorable moments I’ve had this year. It was exhausting but surprisingly fun.

And then, judgment day came. We invited all our friends at QBE to watch us perform. As members of the dance group, we were also allowed to invite people outside the company. Naturally, I invited Nikki. He said he’d feel insulted if I didn’t. He even had a company trip that same day but assured me he’d be home before the competition started—and he was.

Being backstage right before our turn reminded me of my cheerleading days, waiting to be called in. The adrenaline. The feeling of your heart stuck in your throat. I hadn’t felt that in more than a decade. It was frightening but exhilarating—like being drunk on adrenaline.

And then, we stepped on stage. That was it. I could see the spotlights, the faces of people smiling as we danced, and I could hear their cheers and applause. At that moment, the only thought in my head was, “Look at me, look at how good I am,” and it pushed me to do my best.

After the performance, I thought we did well. Sadly, we didn’t get a podium finish or even win any special awards. We almost placed third, though—we ranked fourth out of six groups, and the third placer edged us out by only 0.15 points.

I don’t know if it was just their bias, but all our friends who watched thought we deserved at least third place. Even Nikki, my proud and ever-supportive boyfriend, thought so.

Anyway, it is what it is. All groups wanted to win, and it just came down to whom the stars aligned for.

At least we have our friendship. At least we dancers—who were dying to feel the rush of performing on stage—felt it again after a long time.

And yeah, it became my most memorable moment of 2024. Nikki being there and meeting my friends was just the cherry on top. He told me that everything that happened made him happy.

So yeah, there’s still next year. Who knows? Maybe, for the first time in two consecutive years, my most memorable moment will be for the same event.

[akocomyk]

Other Pins Worth Noting

Before we head to the top spot of this year’s list, I’d like to highlight some of the other pins that were considered but didn’t make it because I thought they didn’t have as much gravity as those included.

Quezon City Memorial Circle

This was where Love Laban 2 Everyone: Pride PH Festival 2024 was held, and I joined the Pride March as part of the QBE delegation. It was only my second time participating in the march.

I blogged about this. Anyone who looks at current events and trending topics on social media would probably know how much of a disaster the event became due to the influx of attendees—a portion of whom were fans of Bini.

SM Mall of Asia

A very common dating place for me—yeah, Doc John and Seandale. I rode with both of them on the amusement park rides behind the mall.

One thing those two never got to do with me was go ice skating, which was a sentimental favorite of mine despite the fact that I’m not very good at it yet.

Nikki, however, brought me there and taught me how to skate—that was only my second time ever.

St. Peter Parish, Cavite City

I’ve always said that I prefer Lenten Season activities over Advent Season—especially the Easter Triduum.

When I was young and active in the church as part of the youth choir, I always completed these celebrations, and it’s been so long since I’ve done so.

Until this 2024. I participated in all the Holy Week traditions, beginning with Palm Sunday and ending with the Easter Vigil—even joining the Salubong. Most of them I attended at the church that’s close to my home.

[akocomyk]

2nd Pin

Ayala Center

You know how much the Everything Bagel is revered in the film Everything Everywhere All at Once? It even dares to pose the idea that you can put everything on a bagel.

Yeah, it’s crazy ridiculous. I’m not going to dive into that right now, but you can read about it here if you’re curious.

Ayala Center is kind of like that bagel for me. Whenever I think about it, it transforms into the convergence point of all the pivotal moments that happened last year.

This was where Seandale and I first met. It wasn’t even a planned date; I just asked if he wanted to grab dinner while I was logging off from work.

This was where I met with Doc John again after turning him down for Seandale. We had lunch there before heading to the RCBC Plaza to watch Rent.

This was where I met with Gerald—yeah, my first boyfriend. He borrowed my Nintendo Switch game The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening.

This was where I first met Nikki. We had dinner at Coco Ichibanya and coffee at UCC Café. He was so timid back then, admitting that he wasn’t used to dating—unlike me, who was already an expert at it. We also had our first museum date there—through the Ayala Museum.

You know that Sto. Niño de Paz Chapel at Greenbelt? I attended Sunday masses there with Seandale, Doc John, and Nikki—on different occasions, of course. And that Starbucks Reserve nearby? I’ve had coffee and kouign-amann there with all of them.

I’ve been to Ayala Center with Nikki and Seandale countless times; it’s one of our go-to places—more so with Nikki ‘coz his office is located there. But I’ve only been there with Doc John once—the day we watched Rent.

For him, that day was about rekindling what had been supposedly stopped back in February when I chose Seandale over him. He wanted to reignite whatever spark we had when we first met. He wanted me to fulfill his promise to him—and probably more.

For me, it was more about testing whether Doc John had changed—even just a little in those few months. Maybe this time, I thought, I’d be able to tolerate the mannerisms that irked me.

Sadly, he hadn’t changed. It didn’t make me regret my decision or think, “I should’ve picked John.” Instead, I found myself asking, “What if I had chosen no one?”

It’s funny though that when I still hadn’t made my decision back in February, Seandale urged me to choose Doc John but promised that he’ll be there to help me rebuild myself if ever things with Doc John don’t go happily. Ironically, it was Doc John who tried to help me rebuild myself when Seandale and I broke up.

During dinner at Denny’s, John and I decided we’d remain friends who updated each other regularly. I also told him I wasn’t ready yet and wasn’t sure when I would be ready to pursue a relationship with him.

So… yeah. In my dating life, Doc John was probably the biggest loser. He put in the most effort—effort I truly commend—but I still turned him down TWICE.

I don’t blame him if he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore. Even after that day we last saw each other, he didn’t stop pursuing me, stating the words, “I’ll still fight for you.”

Much to his dismay, I couldn’t give him the same effort in return. It was unfair—and he realized that eventually.

That’s why he has a boyfriend now. Not me, of course. Someone he so rightfully deserves.

On a more positive note, our dance group from work, the SynQ Dance Club, joined the charity fund-raising event and Christmas gala of the Australia-New Zealand Chamber of Commerce of the Philippines (ANZCHAM). It was held at the Makati Shangri-La. Our senior leaders were there to watch and cheer for us.

The event was basically a Got Talent competition where members of the chamber got to send representatives. All of them sent singers who sang big songs, and we were the only dance group. We performed a revised version of the piece we did for an earlier street dance competition.

Although we didn’t win the top prize, we were still proclaimed as the Crowd Favorite.

It was fine. You can’t split a plane ticket between ten people anyway, and no one can deny that we won the hearts of the people.

[akocomyk]

5th Pin

Star City

And the surrounding areas of Star City, actually.

Remember John from the 8th Pin entry? Remember how much he wanted to watch a musical with me, but there weren’t any scheduled around January to February of last year?

Let’s call him Doc John, as he rightfully is. He’s a dentist based in Bukidnon, where he was born, raised, and currently lives. I matched with him on Bumble’s BFF mode sometime around August or September 2023, and that’s basically how we started. At the time, he was using that mode because he still hadn’t moved on from a heartbreak—he loved someone who only saw him as a friend.

In my case, I was still slightly devastated after someone turned me down, saying he wasn’t ready despite both of us confessing our fondness for each other. Regardless, this didn’t stop me from dating or meeting people—if you’ve read my 11 Hearts of 2023, you’d probably be familiar with this.

Doc John and I got along pretty well from the start. However, he only wanted us to be friends who constantly updated each other, saying he wasn’t ready for anything more. I warned him that doing so wouldn’t stop me from developing feelings for him—because, honestly, I already was. He knew I was talking to and dating other people, yet didn’t want me to stop. He said he had no right to ask me that, especially since he explicitly stated he only wanted to be friends for now. He added it wouldn’t be fair for me, as I was ready to dive into the dating scene while he was still trying to move on, unsure of when he’d truly be okay.

So, my dating life continued. Every now and then, Doc John and I would chat; sometimes, he’d call. We’d alternately ask each other questions and answer them. I’d always ask him how he was, and it will always be something sad and depressing. It came to a point that I was so concerned about his mental and emotional state that I literally told him to please do something about it. And he did.

One of our usual conversations is him asking how many guys I was still actively talking to. At first, my answer was five. Then it became four. Eventually, three. Then I met Kenth Charles, and he fell in love with me. So did I. He said I was a risk worth taking, so he came out as bisexual to his parents, even telling them he was dating me. He said I didn’t deserve to be kept a secret.

But his parents didn’t accept him. He had to let me go because he didn’t have the courage to go against them. He admitted he wasn’t as brave as me.

Doc John didn’t know about this until he called me the night after Kenth Charles “dumped” me. He pitied me at the time and shared that he’d also gone to see the person he was in love with—the one who friend-zoned him—just that December. He met him one last time to confirm it was really over. During the call, Doc John asked again how many guys I was talking to, and I said, “Wala na. Isa… if you consider yourself.”

So, we planned to meet several times that January and February because he’d be flying to Manila weekly for oral surgery classes.

The first time we met was the day after my birthday.

The second time was to make up for not finding any musicals at the time. I suggested we go to the Pasinaya 2024 Festival at the Cultural Center of the Philippines, and he agreed.

We got to see a few performances, but the highlight was being among the last allowed to watch the Philippine Madrigal Singers. This was the main reason I suggested attending Pasinaya. I knew Doc John was a devout Catholic and a lover of choral and Christian music—and, of course, the Madz will always be my favorite choral group, especially since one of my mentors was an alumnus. I was scared we might miss them because of the limited seats and long queues, but I guess it was just meant to be.

One of the songs they sang was “Gaano Ko Ikaw Kamahal” by Celeste Legaspi.

None of the other performances scheduled that day appealed to us—and frankly, we were already tired of waiting in queues under the heat of the sun. So, we decided to head to Star City.

And… yeah, we had fun. We went on a lot of rides, attended the Sunday mass held in the amusement park, and, after exhausting all the rides we could, left to eat dinner at SM Mall of Asia.

It was during that dinner he told me he loved me. “Basta alam ko lang mahal na kita.”

[akocomyk]

6th Pin

Boracay

Does this even need any explanation? This was the only non-work-related trip I had for 2024. To serve as my digital mementos for this occasion, I posted short videos summarizing each day we spent in Boracay—from the moment I was at the airport, waiting to board, to the flight back to Manila.

Anywhooo… The last time I traveled to Boracay was back in December 2019, and I didn’t have plans to return to one of the best islands in the world until my sister decided on celebrating her 40th birthday there. She literally stayed tuned for airfare sales waaay back in 2023.

So yeah, this vacation was about a year in the making. Fun fact: when we started planning, I didn’t even have the full intention to move to a different company and I was struggling to find the funds for this trip. I guess I made the right decision of leaving my previous company.

Days before we left for Boracay, I was quite active on dating apps—though more careful this time since I didn’t want to recreate my chaotic dating life the year before.

Congratulate me. I only dated one guy during this era.

Then Nikki came. At the beginning, I didn’t think our conversations would go anywhere—he wasn’t exactly the most responsive person I was chatting with.

As I was waiting to board the plane for Boracay, Nikki was off on a Binondo food crawl with his cousins.

Back to the trip: what made this Boracay vacation different from our 2019 visit was the number of people and activities—there were more. Our relatives came along, as well as my sister’s closest friends and workmates.

On the first night, we threw a small party for my sister's birthday at the place we’re staying at, and when midnight night, her friends and I surprised her with a birthday cake decorated like a beach. Then we got drunk. Yeah, that was the first time in years that I threw up in a toilet bowl—my brother-in-law had to help me back to bed. As I was waiting for sleep to come, I drunk texted my ex-boyfriends. Yes. 🙂

The following days were everything you’d expect a Boracay trip can be. We went on a sunset cruise party. I hit the bar with my sister’s friend and the guy she was dating at the time. We also went island hopping and tried other activities like ATV rides, ziplining, and kayaking.

The day before we left, a storm rolled over the island, so we couldn’t do much—most beach activities were prohibited. Still, we made the most of it, playing in the waves at the beach as the cold wind whipped around us and rain splattered like tiny drops of joy.

Ironically, the sun was shining brightly on our departure day. We didn’t have much planned—just breakfast at the Réal Coffee & Tea Café, where we enjoyed their signature calamansi muffin and Real Coffee.

And… that's pretty much it. You know, whenever someone asks me if I’m a beach or a mountain person, I’d immediately say mountain—because that’s the truth. But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t let myself have fun on a beach vacation. And to be honest, I’m already longing to return to Boracay—or any beach, really. After all, Boracay isn’t the only beautiful island here in the Philippines, right?

[akocomyk]

7th Pin

Million Trees

In mid-April 2024, just days after Seandale and I broke up, the global senior leaders of my company visited their contingents here in the Philippines. Part of their trip included a visit to our “adopted forest” park within the Million Trees Foundation area at the La Mesa Watershed Reservation.

In addition to the park’s ribbon-cutting and the leaders’ ceremonial tree planting, their visit marked the inauguration of the new members of Team Verde—our company’s sustainability committee composed of volunteers who share a passion for environmental conservation, inclusion through education, and disaster preparedness.

Being part of Team Verde was a very exciting chapter of my life at QBE. As a quiet advocate of sustainability since my time at my previous company, joining this committee gave me the platform to amplify my contributions toward creating more sustainable and resilient communities.

Going back to that event, our inauguration and the park’s ribbon-cutting ceremony marked my first visit there. I’d return several more times afterward for other volunteer activities at the park—re-bagging tree saplings and participating in “tree-growing” events. On those days, I had to wake up at around 3:00 A.M. to catch the 4:00 A.M. bus to Manila.

Part of my role during these activities was documenting the events and capturing our volunteer employees in action. Every time I was there, I brought our camera to take photos—all while participating in the re-bagging and tree-growing tasks myself.

Anyway, my favorite part of these volunteering activities has always been the bonding moments shared with the other volunteers. Because of this, I’ve formed friendships with employees from all corners of the company. It’s comforting to know that wherever I go, there’s always someone I can share a conversation and have a few laughs with.