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Xiao Zhan – The Answer of Time

Original Article: https://weibo.com/ttarticle/p/show?id=2309405123382776561762 Original Author: 人物 Portrait Translator’s note: The article will be published in the February 2025 Issue of Portrait Magazine..

Xiao Zhan had always felt that freedom and self-focus were neutral terms. In the past, he might have cared more about other people’s judgments, but now he hoped to listen to his own voice. “Fate is uncontrollable, but what is controllable is yourself.” The so-called freedom meant having the ability to control one’s own destiny. Whether it was fast or slow, whether to walk or gallop, it was all up to him. The reins were not in anyone else’s hands, but in Xiao Zhan’s hands.

​Text｜谷幌幌 Gu Huanghuang ​Editor｜金匝 Jin Za ​Photography｜许闯 Xu Chuang ​Makeup and Hair｜清俊DDJ STUDIO Styling｜GCK ​Production Coordinator｜#1105 ​Post-Retouching｜Comma Studio Photography Assistant｜TrunkStudio ​Brand Acknowledgements｜TOD’S

Moment of Freedom

In 2023, for a very long period of time, Xiao Zhan spent it with his actor friend Vincent.

He would always remember the scene when they first met: Vincent was very tall, his neck was extremely long, his body was full of muscles, the sun shone on his skin, which glowed red. He held his head high and was very elegant, ignoring everyone and walked into the riding course proudly — yes, Vincent is a horse.

After a while, Vincent suddenly started kicking backwards, when he passed other horses, he kicked them first without a care, and then ran wildly around the riding course. “I was dumbfounded at the time,” Xiao Zhan said. He pointed at Vincent and looked at the equestrian teacher, “Are you sure?” The equestrian teacher said calmly, “Yes.”

Vincent was selected from more than 1,000 horses and became one of the actors in the movie “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Gallants”, playing the role of “Little Red Horse”, the mount of the hero Guo Jing.

For Xiao Zhan, the actor who portrayed Guo Jing, riding the “Little Red Horse” was the first step to becoming Guo Jing.

This is a test that the two actors experienced together, exploring each other, testing each other, breaking through each other’s boundaries, and finally reaching mutual understanding and trust.

Vincent was very smart. He was almost the smartest horse among the horses. He had his own unique way of being lazy and would often stop moving after running for a while. Xiao Zhan would whisper in his ear, “Little Red, can you run 2 more laps?” Little Red would ignored him. If Little Red didn’t want to move, and no one can persuade him; when Little Red was unhappy, he would just kick his butt up and throw people off fiercely.

Time and waiting, these were what Xiao Zhan could give the most, and there was no other way.

He said that if Little Red Horse was unwilling, he would stop. When Little Red House was willing to accept him, he would spend more time getting acquainted and training. Gradually, Little Red Horse and Xiao Zhan reached a tacit understanding. He knew that as long as the training was completed every day, everyone could rest. Later, during the filming break, Xiao Zhan also did not forget to feed Little Red Horse with carrots to reward his partner.

Now talking again about getting along with Little Red Horse, Xiao Zhan said that he felt very happy, it was a feeling of freedom.

Riding freely, understand the moods, personalities and habits of another species freely. They accompanied each other day and night, trusted each other, and eventually became friends.

For more than 2 months in the summer of 2023, Xiao Zhan lived a life like this: getting up at around 6 o’clock in the morning, going out at around 7 o’clock, crossing the Sixth Ring Road in Beijing, heading to the riding course in the suburbs. If there was a traffic jam, just distance alone would take nearly 2 hours. That state was like going to school, with horse riding in the morning and martial arts in the afternoon, or sometimes it’s all horse riding for the whole day and then physical training. He could rest a day in a week, and occasionally 2 days. After returning home, he would still continue to do strength training as long as he had time.

Director Tsui Hark treated “The Legend of the Condor Heroes” rigorously and specially, requiring the actors to devote themselves wholeheartedly to such a “semi-enclosed” period of time. Actress Zhuang Dafei, who portrayed Huang Rong, remembered that Xiao Zhan would bring the actors to train more, because he had the foundation of exercise before and was relatively professional, like a physical fitness teacher, he would lead everyone to do warm-up and stretching exercises. “There felt kind of like the classmates were in class together, and the monitor was leading us in training.”

During that time, extreme exhaustion allowed Xiao Zhan to fall asleep quickly every day. That was another kind of freedom he felt, the freedom of creating a new character.

Black Coat – BINGJIE PENG

We asked Xiao Zhan, in the past five years, have you had a particularly free moment spiritually? His answer was: “My days on the set made me feel free.” The road to the riding course was long and also made him happy.

Director Song Xiaofei also witnessed these days. At that time, the film “Sunshine By My Side” they collaborated on was in the post-editing stage. He knew that Xiao Zhan was very busy every day during the latter scenes, doing things such as fitness, horse riding, and archery, and occasionally Xiao Zhan would tell him, aching back, but he found that Xiao Zhan had a more relaxed and free state – didn’t care too much about whether there was some dirt on his face, whether he was sweating or oily, he was more concerned about whether the role was accurate.

When we spoke about these unseen 5 years, Xiao Zhan would mark the year with each work. In 2020 “Ace Troops” was filmed, in 2021 it was “A Dream Like a Dream” and “The Longest Promise”, in 2022 it was “The Youth Memories / Where Dreams Begin” “Sunshine By My Side”, in 2023 it was “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Gallants”, in 2024 it was “Zang Hai Zhuan”, one after another, he approached those characters with curiosity, some non-repeated and more complex characters, and searched for different answers to life in them.

When working with Director Tsui Hark, Xiao Zhan always had a kind of respect. When they first met 2 years ago, he did not even ask why Tsui Hark came to see him. When saying goodbye, he did not even dare to say “looking forward to cooperating” for fear of appearing rude. It was only after some time that he learned that Tsui Hark wanted him to play Guo Jing.

But why did the cooperation start from Little Red Horse? Perhaps we can find the answer in the original novel “The Legend of the Condor Heroes”. To Guo Jing, Little Red Horse was a partner, a comrade-in-arms, even a family member, and more importantly, there was a scene between Guo Jing and Little Red Horse in the original novel. That was a very important turning point in Guo Jing’s growth, and it was also Guo Jing’s first real battle after learning the Quanzhen Sect’s internal cultivation skill, his courage, focus and super long endurance allowed the Jiangnan Seven Weirds to renew their understanding of their apprentice again, and helped him to become the “Great Hero”.

Regarding Guo Jing and the Little Red Horse, there was this description in the original novel: “The little red horse galloped wildly, dashing back and forth on the grassland for more than an hour, but yet it was feeling more and more energetic. All the shepherds were shocked by this. The old shepherd knelt down and murmured a prayer, begging for the heavens to not bestow disasters for offending their Dragon Horse, then yelled loudly, wanting Guo Jing to get off the horse quickly. However, Guo Jing was in full focus and laid very close to the horse’s back, as if tightly bound with a rope, rising and falling with the horse’s prances, and never falling off the horse.”

Xiao Zhan, who had become acquainted with Guo Jing, could also realized that this seemed to be a metaphor for Guo Jing’s life path: no matter how his fate will filled with ups and downs, he would not be thrown off the horse. He would hold the reins firmly, using a seemingly clumsy and yet irreplaceable way to step into Jianghu and become the great hero of a generation.

When Xiao Zhan became acquainted with his little red horse Vincent, he would also have his own answer to this question: As one living in Jianghu, pain and accidents are unavoidable, as long as he could hold on to his reins, he would eventually find the moments of freedom waiting for him.

Camel windbreaker, beige sweater, white jeans, and belt are all TOD’S

Innocent Confusion

Before the moment of freedom arrives, there will most certainly be a long period of grinding.

That was a long table, with more than 30 actors sitting around it, and the first script reading meeting that Spring began. This play has been performed for more than 20 years, some of them had been there since the debut performance, and perhaps many actors were new. Everyone had to introduce themselves, it was Xiao Zhan’s turn. Before he spoke, countless guesses kept popping up in his mind, “Oh my god, they’re all going to think I’m a rookie, will they wonder where this child came from?” He thought nervously and said in a low voice, “Hello everyone, I am Xiao Zhan.” 3 years later, when recalling this scene to “Portrait”, Xiao Zhan commented on himself at that time, “completely, very, very insecure.”

It was the Spring of 2021. Xiao Zhan was invited to star in the Yanghua version of “A Dream Like a Dream”. This was his first time on the drama stage and played one of the spiritual roles of the play, “Patient No. 5”, a role who he regarded as a “very sacred” role.

Xiao Zhan had heard of “A Dream Like a Dream” when he was participating in an art troupe in university. He knew it was a play about life and death, impermanence and reincarnation, and became curious about it. Now, when it was him to play the role, “I couldn’t believe it.” He was neither a major in acting nor had any drama performance experience, so why should he take on such an important role? But because he liked it so much, he accepted the invitation.

The story of “Patient No. 5” attracted Xiao Zhan. It was an extremely complicated fate – his child had passed away, his wife had disappeared, he had suddenly contracted a strange disease and endured much suffering. At the last moment of his life, he decided to journey afar, to travel around the world. In Paris, France, he met his lover, met with the mystery of another person, and for the rest of his life, he was looking for answers, looking for the answer to the mystery of life.

It was executive producer Wang Keran’s decision for Xiao Zhan to play the role of “Patient No. 5” in the Yanghua version of “A Dream Like a Dream”. Before 2019, Wang Keran had never heard of the name Xiao Zhan. The first time he knew about him was because they had accidentally stayed in the same hotel, he heard from others that a very popular actor named Xiao Zhan was also staying here.

In 2020, Wang Keran was looking for a new version of “Patient No. 5”, and a friend told him that he could pay attention to Xiao Zhan.

Wang Keran believed that the most mysterious part of a person’s destiny is impermanence. A few years ago, he told “Portrait” that Xiao Zhan and “Patient No. 5” had something in common, which was very complicated and had a sense of destiny. “As people live they would be fulfilled, and as they live they would suffer blows again.”

In July of that year, Wang Keran approached Xiao Zhan and invited him to have a conversation about drama with playwright Wan Fang. In fact, he wanted to observe the young actor. A few days later, Xiao Zhan handed over a long interview outline, which touched Wang Keran.

He told “Portrait” that he chose Xiao Zhan not only because of his sensitivity to words and his deep diligence, but more importantly, during the conversation with Wan Fang, he noticed that Xiao Zhan exuded a kind of “innocent confusion”, a characteristic especially belonging to “Patient No. 5”, and he wanted to explore the origin of this “innocent confusion”.

“I was curious, that in a violent collision, a person’s soul must feel confused, and this confusion may be more severe than I imagined.” Wang Keran said.

Xiao Zhan was indeed at a loss at that time. In 2015, he had entered the entertainment industry through a talent show, and from an ordinary designer, he became a member of an idol boy. In 2019, he became popular with the TV series “The Untamed” and became the actor with the most attention in China. Everything had happened so fast.

Stills from the drama “The Untamed”

When he was a child, Xiao Zhan liked to read “Stories” (TN: A leading Chinese language fortnightly literary magazine published in China) very much. The stories in it were all kinds of strange, with ups and downs of fate, and as a child, he found out for the first time what impermanence is. He remembered that when Wang Keran met him for the first time, he told him that he was chosen because of “a kind of impermanence”, he also understood that at certain moments, the fate of himself and “Patient No. 5” was intertwined. Rather than saying that “Patient No. 5” needed him, it would be better to say that Xiao Zhan also needed “Patient No. 5” at that time.

When we asked Xiao Zhan, what was the point he empathized the most with “Patient No. 5”?

“Looking for an answer. An answer to anything.” Xiao Zhan said. “Portrait” and Xiao Zhan had not seen each other for 5 years, the last filming was at the beginning of the new year in 2020. In the next 5 years, many new problems occurred, which also gave him many new confusions.

Xiao Zhan told “Portrait” that the arrival of “A Dream Like a Dream” is very important to him, “extremely important”, not only for a breakthrough in performance, but also a spiritual influence and support. “When I really need this kind of energy, it miraculously appeared, and it gave some answers to many questions.”

He knew that he had to seize this opportunity, just like holding the reins of a horse, and he had to decide his own direction.

Gray shirt, dark gray jacket and tie – Sean Suen; Vest jacket – Masion Margiela

The Answer of A Dream Like A Dream

The answer was not easy to obtain.

After taking on “Patient No. 5”, Xiao Zhan began to suffer from insomnia all night long. When he was awake, he would be reading the script, before joining the group, he had already memorized all the lines, and he had rehearsed many scenes at home many times. Despite this, he was still so insecure.

Regarding his nervousness at that time, Xiao Zhan shared a detail with “Portrait”, when he read the first line during the first reading meeting, his attention was not on himself, but on others. He appeared to be staring at the script in front of him, but he was actually using his peripheral vision to secretly observe the reactions of the other actors, until he finished reading, and he found that everyone had a little surprised reaction: “Hey, it seems okay.”

In the book “Everything is for Drama” (TN: Wang Keran’s book on his work methodology) also recorded the behind-the-scenes story of “A Dream Like a Dream”: Xiao Zhan had already memorized all his lines before he came, he brought with him the state of “Patient No. 5”, and could start rehearsing immediately upon arrival.

Wang Keran was very concerned about Xiao Zhan’s state, not only because of his huge fan base, but also because the new version of “Patient No. 5” had to be judged by all audiences and professional dramatists. The book “Everything is for Drama” summarized the condition at that time: “A thorn has been stuck in the back of this crew since half a year ago — will the newly joined Xiao Zhan be able to perform on the stage of the drama?”

Very soon, Wang Keran discovered that Xiao Zhan had devoted himself entirely to it. During rehearsals, actors would be easily attracted to their mobile phones, but at the rehearsal venue, Wang Keran observed that Xiao Zhan never wasted a minute. He never lowered his head to look at his mobile phone. When others were rehearsing, he was also observing, thinking and learning.

Recalling the scene a few years ago, Xiao Zhan said that he liked that kind of life very much. He was immersed in rehearsals every day, and it felt like going back to school again. Everyone rehearsed and discussed, and the teacher gave feedback, revised and polished, everyone was creating together. For him, “A Dream Like a Dream” was like a school, and even more like a dream.

Before the premiere, Xiao Zhan’s nervousness reached its peak. He was the opening actor, and the first line of the eight hour long “A Dream Like a Dream” was his. When he stood still and the spotlight shone on him, there was only whiteness in front of him, the world seemed to have stopped in silence. He remembered that he couldn’t hear anything that day, besides his own heartbeat, thump, thump, thump… when he finished saying the first line, his hearing recovered.

This might be the allure of the stage, although the audience was silent, Xiao Zhan could also feel “the air is clapping”. Wang Keran also remembered the situation on the day of the premiere, he felt that Xiao Zhan had almost “completely and perfectly expressed the emotions of ‘Patient No. 5’ that day”.

Starting in April 2021, Xiao Zhan followed “A Dream Like a Dream” to travel across the country. In more than two years, he appeared in many performances, and also gained a lot. What Xiao Zhan liked the most is that after each performance, the director and all the actors would get together and express together: “We have carried the love and passion from so many audiences, so we must give these things back to everyone.”

Every time, Xiao Zhan would say that he would never cry and would control his emotions, but every time everyone would discover that he went back with his eyes swollen from crying.

He became “Patient No. 5” without any reservations. There was like an invisible rope between him and “Patient No. 5”, and every time he performed “Patient No. 5”, his state of mind would also affected, “no performance is the same”, the veteran actors would tell him that this was right, and even if they had performed it for 10 years, they would still have new feelings every time, this was how stage plays were. Xiao Zhan also knew that it was not just “Patient No. 5” holding onto the other end of the rope, but also his persistence in performing, he had not released his hand.

At the end of “A Dream Like a Dream”, “Patient No. 5” had to stand on the stage and sing a song acapella. Every time he performed until this point, he would fall deeply into a complex emotion, because before that, he had foreseen the death of “Patient No. 5”.

From the lights off to the lights on, there was a transition time of 5 or 6 seconds. Xiao Zhan would always ask the staff behind the scenes to help him turn off the mic for a while, he would quickly wipe away his tears, sniff his nose and adjust his condition.

Sometimes, the helpless feeling of intertwined fate would still come up. One time, he was singing with a bit of crying, he felt very guilty and felt that his performance was not perfect. The actress Feng Xianzhen, who played the elderly Gu Xianglan at that time, said to him : “Your performance today was very moving, did you know? This is the drama itself.”

In the more than 2 years since he became “Patient No. 5”, Xiao Zhan had received a lot of comfort, companionship and awakening. Little by little, he had found his place, and also found some feedback. Backstage, the sign in his lounge wrote “Patient No. 5” instead of Xiao Zhan.

Wang Keran said that the performance of “Patient No. 5” lying on the bed made the deepest impression on him. That line made him feel that Xiao Zhan truly understood the character: “The confusion about himself and the confusion about fate, he had to get into (the role) so that he could truly feel it, express it, be powerful, and he did it.”

Beige suit jacket, beige suit trousers – Ami; Bow tie – Sean Suen

Nutrients

The opening up of his individual happened bit by bit. Offstage, at some certain unnoticeable moments, Xiao Zhan would always be looking outside, allowing the wind of freedom to blow in from the gaps in life.

No one noticed that Xiao Zhan was among them.

He appeared on Binjiang Road — the most famous urban promenade in Chongqing, walking as before; he appeared at a roadside food stall, eating Xiao Mian (TN: Spicy Chongqing noodles) with good friends; he appeared in the most prosperous downtown area of ​​a certain city, taking pictures everywhere with a camera.

In the past few years, he had occasionally wandered around, biked, watched movies, and walked around freely.

These moments were so important to him. “It’s like I’m a tree. Have you ever seen a tree growing in the air before? No, it must land on the ground. That’s how it feels.” Xiao Zhan told “Portrait”, real people, real lives, those were his soil.

When we first met Xiao Zhan, he said that hustle and bustle of life was very important to him, and that kind of life gave him a down-to-earth feeling. Over the past 5 years, he had repeatedly emphasized the importance of life in interviews, he would remain sensitive and capture daily details, observing the status of the filming crew, observing Chongqing residents along the Jialing River, and observing the delivery riders.

Unable to sleep at night, he would often sit by the window in a daze, he would think about what people would be doing in the windows where the lights were not switched off at 2 or 3 in the morning. Were they working overtime? Or having insomnia? Sometimes on rainy nights, he would see people running with umbrellas and others walking leisurely without umbrellas. He would be curious about what stories those people had.

Life has given him a lot of nourishment and strength, enough to give him the confidence to cope with difficulties and enter the moment of freedom again, and family was an important space that provided these nourishment and strength.

Last summer, Xiao Zhan and his parents traveled to Europe, they had spent more than a week together closely. The last time a family of three traveled like this was when he went to Lijiang, Yunnan when he was in high school. At that time, Xiao Zhan was in adolescence and was very rebellious. He entertained himself and did not want to spend more time with his parents. More than 10 years later, he had the opportunity to travel with his parents again, and his thoughts then was that he hoped to spend some time together with his parents so that they could see his own type of living condition.

The short trip came to an end, and he and his parents parted ways on a foreign beach. His parents continued their trip, and Xiao Zhan ended his vacation and went to work. After that lunch, they would head to their next destination. He remembered the scene of their separation that day very clearly. the alley was very narrow, so narrow that only one car could pass, when the car drove in, pedestrians on both sides had to turn sideways and stand against the wall. The car to pick up Xiao Zhan came first, and he could not stay any longer, just like the chime of a clock that struck o’clock, the pumpkin carriage had come to pick him up, and the lovely dream was about to end.

He and his parents maintain a traditional Chinese family relationship, love was very reserved and silent, when facing loved ones, they would never express too many emotions. They would only pretend not to care and say, go quickly, take good care of yourselves.

But that day, Xiao Zhan stood at the door of the restaurant. He hugged his mother first, and then his father. All of his perceptions were magnified again, he remembered that when he was hugging his mother, a middle-aged lady walked sideways past them, she was wearing a white dress with blue prints. As he hugged his mother, he watched a gust of wind blow by and the lady’s skirt swayed, and the wind smelled of the sea.

The movie-like scene was deeply imprinted in his mind. When talking about this scene, Xiao Zhan showed the most emotional expression that day. He closed his eyes and imagined that he was back at the beach, holding his hands in the air as if he was hugging his mother again. This was almost one of his moment of the year. This complete relaxation gave him some lasting strength. During that trip, he also publicly posted a photo with his parents on social networks for the first time, although it was only the back view.

Xiao Zhan said that he did not contact his parents every day, but he had a strong sense of bond. His parents rarely asked about his work, and they did not have many in-depth conversations, and would only say when he encounters difficulties: “Happiness is more important than anything else. It’s no big deal, otherwise come home.”

He found that when he was with his parents, they would always talk about his childhood. When he was in high school, he was very irritable and didn’t want to listen too much. Now that he is in his 30s, he had the urge to “talk more, the more the better” instead, he wanted to hear how he grew up. These were all his origins, and also the reason he grew up to be Xiao Zhan.

A few years ago, he expressed in an interview that he wanted to find “real life”. He was worried that he was too far away from the material world and would lose his judgment on reality. This year, he suddenly changed, perhaps through more observation, or perhaps it was during that trip that he confirmed one thing, “I am living in the real, material life”.

The material life related to his parents and hometown in the past 20 years was like a thick and gentle net that gently supported Xiao Zhan and helped him resolve many doubts about real life. That is the world closest to his individuality. That was his soil and his nourishment, nourishing him continuously and steadily, allowing him to stay convinced that he was still truly living.

Now, Xiao Zhan occasionally dreams, and the scenes in his dreams are all the old houses of his childhood. It was an old residential building, his home was on the fifth floor and every time he opened the door, his father, mother and grandma were all there, as the old house slowly emerged, he could remember the bedroom, living room, table lamps, and even the kitchen exhaust fan.

Xiao Zhan said that that home was like a safe house. Whenever he felt tired or unhappy, he would dream of the old house. Sometimes he would be very happy, sometimes he would wake up feeling a little despondent. But he knew that no matter what happened, there was no need to worry, as long as he wanted to, he could return to that safe house in his dream.

Dark blue jackets, dark blue sweaters, and blue jeans are all TOD’S

Dissatisfaction

Those absorbed nutrients determined what kind of tree a person would grow into. Xiao Zhan once said in the documentary “Marvelous City: Chongqing” that he grew up in Chongqing, and the mountain city nourished him for more than 20 years. He climbed mountains and obstacles every day, going against the flow. His daily life was to “climb” every day, so there were some elements of “obstinacy” in his character. Growing up in such a land of soil, he felt a lot of dissatisfaction and had many thoughts of improvement.

On December 31, 2024, “Portrait” met Xiao Zhan again in the recording studio in Beijing. It was the last day of the year and the atmosphere of the New Year was everywhere. He did not participate in any New Year’s Eve activities, but just stayed in a small warm yellow room, dubbing for the post production of an upcoming work. By nightfall, he had been dubbing continuously for more than 8 hours.

“Let’s do it again”, this is what Xiao Zhan said the most frequently, “let’s do it again”, “I’ll try again”, “come on, do it again”.

There was an inner monologue that lasted nearly 2 minutes, he had dubbed it several times. The director thought it was enough, “Let’s do it again,” Xiao Zhan said again. The director was a little surprised and asked, “All of them?” Then Xiao Zhan dubbed the nearly 2-minute monologue twice.

Several directors who have worked with Xiao Zhan all mentioned that “do it again” is one of the things he often says on the set. Director Jiang Jiajun recalled that during the filming of “The Longest Promise”, there was an underwater scene. The temperature of the water shed was not high, and he went in and out of the water many times. The actor quickly lost his warmth and his lips were shivering. But at the end of each scene, Xiao Zhan would come over and ask about the shooting effect, and whether another take was needed. This was also the part that impressed him most about Xiao Zhan.

Wang Keran also shared the same feeling with “Portrait” before. When rehearsing “A Dream Like a Dream”, many times he felt that it could proceed and the performance was quite good, but Xiao Zhan would still ask himself to do it again. He concluded that this was Xiao Zhan’s “dissatisfaction” with himself.

When filming the TV drama “Sunshine By My Side”, Director Song Xiaofei would receive a call from Xiao Zhan every day before going to bed. He would speak continuously on the other end of the phone and say: Director, what do you think about the scene tomorrow? That’s what I think, do you think it’s right? Can I understand this line this way? Song Xiaofei said that among the actors he worked with, Xiao Zhan was very outstanding. When working, they always maintained close, pleasant, active and effective communication.

Stills from the TV drama “Sunshine By My Side”

He could feel some of Xiao Zhan’s anxiety, always worrying that he was not doing well enough. Sometimes, what he did more on the phone was to comfort Xiao Zhan, “You are fine, you can relax tomorrow.” There was a drunken scene, Song Xiaofei thought it was okay not to drink, but Xiao Zhan insisted on drinking a little wine, saying that it would be unrealistic to not drink at all. That day, he took a sip of wine and his face suddenly turned red, “he is all about doing it right, he is such an actor”.

During filming, as long as Xiao Zhan had time, he would always sit next to the director, observing other actors and how everyone worked. Jiang Jiajun remembered that there was an important scene in the snow in “The Longest Promise”. Xiao Zhan arrived at the scene early, placed a small folding chair in the middle of the artificial snow scene, and sat quietly on it. He did not disturb Xiao Zhan, because he knew that Xiao Zhan was brewing his emotions.

Song Xiaofei also remembered that on the set, Xiao Zhan always sat very low. He was afraid of affecting other people’s field of vision. He huddled in the corner and watched other actors acting, and he was not stingy with his praises, “they acted really well”, when hearing this, Song Xiaofei would send encouragements, “you also acted very well”.

When filming “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Gallants”, Xiao Zhan would sneak into Tsui Hark’s small tent and sit quietly next to him, listening to Tsui Hark’s exchanges with the staff and watching Tsui Hark draw storyboards with a brush. He said, it was so great, he only knew of the name Tsui Hark before, but seeing all this with his own eyes, it felt even more magical.

Being dissatisfied with the performance, the status, the script and the role made him move forward step by step.

Over the past 5 years, Xiao Zhan has tried his best to take on more different roles, including soldiers, military courtyard youths, designers, he had also tried different work genres, such as period dramas, urban dramas, and military themes. All these dissatisfaction had made him understand performance better and constantly calibrating his judgment. As long as he continued to perform one work after another, and tightly holding onto every work, better moments would arrive for him.

Recently, he has chosen two more complex characters, Guo Jing and Zang Hai.

After taking on the role of Guo Jing, he asked anyone he met, what’s your impression of Guo Jing? Many people would mention that fortune favors fools, but he did not understand it that way. He remembered Tsui Hark asking him, could a stupid person learn the complete Eighteen Dragon Subduing Palms? When Xiao Zhan got to know Guo Jing deeply, he discovered that Guo Jing was not stupid at all, but was a very serious and pure person.

Interestingly, he remembered that when he met the director for the first time after joining the movie group, Tsui Hark asked him and Zhuang Dafei, do you know any rock musicians? You are the rock musician version of Guo Jing and Huang Rong. Xiao Zhan said that he and Zhuang Dafei looked at each other and were a little confused at that time, but during the filming process, he finally understood, the so-called rock musicians was about the kind of reckless persistence.

For a period of time, under Tsui Hark’s guidance, he watched boxing videos every day and pondered the boxers’ gazes when they were fighting. Slowly, he found the Xiao Zhan version of Guo Jing’s gaze. It was neither foolish nor dull, but a seeking “gaze as sharp as an eagle” during battle. He said that after several months of filming, he understood Guo Jing and his Jianghu from a more complex perspective.

Xiao Zhan also has a new work “Zang Hai Zhuan”, it is a grand costume drama. The “Zang Hai” he portrayed bore a blood feud and hid his name in search of the truth, the character’s sense of destiny and complexity were further enhanced.

Such intricate clues gave Xiao Zhan more to think about and more to express. Xiao Zhan and Director Cao Yiwen were of the same age, they had similar personalities traits. They were both very persistent and very serious. They would often discuss a detail from online to offline, continuing their discussions after knocking off, one day, their discussion lasted until 3 or 4 o’clock in the early morning.

Zheng Xiaolong is the executive director of “Zang Hai Zhuan”. He told Xiao Zhan that the most important thing was to enrich the characters based on people and human nature itself. Xiao Zhan said that Zheng Xiaolong would give him various ideas, that he could act this way or that way. Zheng Xiaolong told “Portrait” that Xiao Zhan not only worked hard on his lines, but also worked very hard to empathize with his character. He performed many emotional scenes over and over again, “his acting was completely explored in practice”.

Xiao Zhan said that when he first entered the industry, he was more of a passive recipient. Directors and senior actors would tell him how to act, and he just listened and did it. “Understand, understand” is what he said the most. Starting from “The Untamed”, he realized that he had changed a little and gradually found his own way of expression.

At the late dubbing scene of “Zang Hai Zhuan”, we also saw this scene: Sometimes when the director puts forward an idea, Xiao Zhan would not say understand immediately, but would think about it for a few seconds. Sometimes something as small as whether his breath is closer or further away from his co-actor, Xiao Zhan would have his own understanding.

The New Year was coming, and Xiao Zhan’s voice was still ringing in the dubbing studio, “do it again” and “try again”, 2025 is the 9th year of Xiao Zhan’s debut, he knew that this kind of dissatisfaction and “do it again” would also accompany him for a very long journey.

Gray shirt, dark gray jacket and tie – Sean Suen; Vest jacket – Masion Margiela

Go Ahead

On the day we met again after 5 years, we let Xiao Zhan watch the video interview shot for “Portrait” in 2020. At the end of the video, he smiled at the camera and asked: “Looking forward to the next 5 years, what will Xiao Zhan be like? “

He said that this was the first time he watched this video in five years. He never watched his own interviews, so he felt a little embarrassed and a little awkward. But he also frankly expressed his feelings: “The me then was very young and naive, and also very vivid, aye, you see the eyes were shining, I really wanted the world to know me, everyone come and see me.”

When he was young, he listened to Stefanie Sun’s “Youth Without Limits”, the lyrics sang, “I am twenty-five years old, learning the moves that an adult should do”, at that time, he thought that 25 years old was so far away, and he should have become a very mature adult.He would not have imagined that he would enter the entertainment industry at the age of 25, opening up a new life. Now he is 33 years old, reaching an age when he “didn’t even dare to think about it” when he was a child.

5 years later, what kind of person has Xiao Zhan become?

After entering the age of 30, Xiao Zhan obviously felt some subtle changes in his body. During the filming of “Zang Hai Zhuan”, he suffered from a long-lasting illness. His tonsils were constantly inflamed, and he had recurring coughs, fevers and facial swelling.

One early morning, he had to shoot a horse riding scene. At that time, he had already experienced Little Red Horse on the set of “The Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Gallants”, so horse riding was not a problem. That day, he just felt that the sun was a bit dazzling and it was a little difficult to open his eyes. Unexpectedly, Director Zheng Xiaolong said, why are you swollen like this? He leaned closer to the monitor to watch the replay, and saw that he was galloping with two eyes swollen like frog eyes.

In 2021, because he was filming a military-themed work, he started to do physical training and had maintained the habit of exercising since then. When playing the role of Guo Jing, he began to gain muscle and weight. Guo Jing grew up in the Mongolian grasslands and was a man of martial arts, his appearance should be rough. In order to achieve the change in appearance, he did strength training almost every day.

Bystanders could also feel the changes that fitness had brought to Xiao Zhan. Song Xiaofei remembered the first time he met Xiao Zhan. He had just finished running that day and trotted up the stairs. His hair was a little sweaty and his body was emitting a hormonal aura, “he came jumping up and down”. Because he was moved by this scene, Song Xiaofei specially changed the script and specifically filmed the scene where the male protagonist Sheng Yang got up early to exercise, packed himself up as quickly as possible, and rushed to the subway full of energy, “it felt so good to see Xiao Zhan that day, I really wanted to show it to everyone”.

Fitness was also a kind of control over the body. Of course, the frequent warning signals on his body last year also warned him that he had reached his age, he was no longer a person who could stay up all night and still be energetic the next day. He needed to take better care of his body and solve the problems that his body gave him.

In the past, he might have wondered, why did he get sick? Now, he would exercise with clear goals and adjust his condition. The Xiao Zhan in his 20s wanted to find answers to problems, the Xiao Zhan in his 30s, wants to solve specific problems.

Beige suit jacket, beige suit pants, vest – Ami; Bow tie – Sean Suen; Shoes – TOD’S

So, what is the biggest growth in these five years?

“Become calmer and…be more self-focused.” Xiao Zhan told “Portrait” that he had always felt that freedom and self-focus were neutral terms. In the past, he might have cared more about other people’s judgments, but now he hoped to listen to his own voice more, “fate is uncontrollable, but what is controllable is yourself”.

The so-called freedom meant the ability to control one’s own destiny, whether it was fast or slow, whether to walk or gallop, it was all up to him. The reins were not in anyone else’s hands, but in Xiao Zhan’s hands.

In November 2024, Xiao Zhan released his first music album “WM”. There is a song called “Go Ahead”. The music video of that song was like this: In the dim ruins of the city, a beam of light shone on Xiao Zhan. He passed through a black tunnel, passed through the lightning flashes and came to the winding, coiling path. This path extended all the way into the sky above the city. He kept running forward, crossing the broken steps, with sand and stones swirling around him, he did not look back, and he never stopped.

This scene is very much Xiao Zhan’s past 5 years. He always looked at the path underneath his feet and kept striding forward.

5 years ago, when he took on “Patient No. 5 “, he said he wanted to find an answer. 5 years later, we asked him, had he found the answer?

“There is no answer. I have given up looking for the answer. There are not so many whys in life, just do it well and live the present moment.” Xiao Zhan replied.

Regarding this, Xiao Zhan also mentioned a small incident to “Portrait”.

In the early summer of 2019, he was filming in the mountains. The night was very dark and he couldn’t see anything. Suddenly a huge sky lantern rose in the sky. It was the sky lantern used by the crew for lighting. “It was very, very big, like a hot air balloon”, it was the first time in his life that he saw such a big sky lantern, and he also felt guided, walk towards the light and do not look back. That day, he took a photo of the sky lantern, captioned it with 6 words, and posted it on the social media platform. In the past 5 years, this moment had always reminded him — “Don’t look back, ever.”

(Intern Chen Jingxuan had contributed to this text.)

[allurilove]

heyyo 🤍 loved your fics 🥵 not much seeing the yandere! rich!boyfriend x rich!sunshine reader it’ll always the rich x maid trope but we still love it 😋

can i request yandere! rich!boyfriend! x sunshine!reader where they played ToD with the scolarship! students and the scholarship!students choose “dare” which is “kiss the most beautiful girl you’ve seen in this room.” and they instantly look at the reader 😖😖 ((yandere!rich!boyfie is mad af 🫠))

Thank youuu 🫡 ((ignored lot of emojis))

Guess who just finished one of their essays 😭 RAAAAH ACADEMIC WEAPON 🦅💪

Your boyfriend refused to sit on the floor and pretend to be interested in playing such trivial and meaningless games with scholarship kids. He opted to sit on the couch, guiding you to sit with him, but you pulled away. You wanted to play the game. It's always nice to get to know other people, and a game of truth or dare was always fun, right? You had played that game when you were younger, and you even played it with your boyfriend too. He mostly dared you to delete most of your contacts, clear your schedule to go on a date, and even give him a little strip tease after he finished his exams.

So far, this version seemed to be quite school friendly. You laugh along as a girl chose dare and she had to text her ex. She rolled her eyes, her cheeks turning red, but she grabbed her phone out of her bag and did it anyways. She tossed the phone to the side and declared that she was never going to look at it again.

You hear your boyfriend groan behind you as he realizes that this game was going to continue, and he really hoped that he could spend some time with you instead.

“Truth or dare?” A classmate asked and they rubbed their hands together mischievously. The two people across from you shared a look of understanding, and a slow smile came across the boys lips.

“Dare.”

“I dare you to kiss the hottest girl here.”

An immediate smoldering look was thrown your way as the boy leaned closer to you. Your boyfriend's arm shot out, grabbing the guy by the hair. This guy must not have known who your boyfriend was, because no one would dare to kiss you right in front of him.

Your boyfriend wasn't the type to lose his cool so easily, but seeing the smug smile on the guy's lips made him want to drown him for his stupid little actions.

So, he did exactly that.

He dragged him by his hair and pushed open the doors that led to the pool outside. Your boyfriend forced the guy onto his stomach, and his face was now hovering over the surface of the water.

"Are you going to apologize, or do I have to waterboard you to make you do so?" Your boyfriend dipped the man's face just enough so that his nose was in the water.

He wouldn't have let go if he didn't see your scared face.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Blind Offer 1

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as noncon, manipulation, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: After a leak causes you to evacuate your apartment, your landlord offers a vacant unit that's too good to be true. (short!plus!reader)

Character: Steve Rogers, additional characters to come

Note: Loooooook. I was gonna restrain myself but this all just got outta hand. This is one of my Corrupt-A-Wish requests but I won't reveal which one right away because it'll be part of the plot!

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

Love you like I love turning intended one shots into series. Take care. 💖

You keep your slippers just away from the edge of the puddle. The sheet of water extends almost completely across the kitchen. You hug yourself, still slightly groggy from your early and rude awakening. The washing you put in last night hadn’t finished and instead the sudsy mess had leaked out around the door.

There’s a sigh and a clank as your landlord pulls his arm out of the machine. Your sopping laundry is in a bucket by his feet. His shirt is visibly wet from his struggle to stem the steady flow dripping from the brim of the washer door. You worry you may have overloaded the compact stacking unit.

“I’m sorry, Steve,” you say as you sway guiltily.

“Don’t be,” he puts his hands on his hips and blows out. A golden strand dangles down his forehead, “it’s not you. My own fault. I thought these things might hold out for a while…”

“Oh?”

“Not the first time I’ve had to fight the beast but it worked. I should be sorry, I should’ve just replaced it.”

“Well, uh, what are you gonna do now?” You look at the wet tile, the scent of laundry detergent thick in the air as the water creeps closer to your slippers.

“Uh, yeah, well, obviously you can’t stay here.”

“I can’t?” You raise your head, running your hand up the front of your robe and clutching the fluffy fabric.

“No, bylaws say you need to evacuate until I can get a new unit in here. And clean up. Leak like this can leave mildew and mold,” he combs his large hand over his head, “I feel bad enough, I couldn’t let you live in this.”

“Okay… um, I have to work in a couple hours–”

“Oh, geez. Well, er, maybe just pack up a few things and I can take you over to the new place? You can always come back to grab more if you need.”

“I guess…” you chew your lip. His blue eyes fixate on the gesture so you stop. “How far is it?”

“Not very, about twenty minutes east by car.”

“East?” You utter dully, “that’s a bit far. I work up near the metro area.”

“There’s some bus stops that way but I could give you a lift tod–” There’s a sudden gush and he looks back to the machine, a bubble of water flowing up over the brim. He shuts the door, stemming much of it. “You won’t even be able to cook in here,” he says, “look, bylaws say I have to relocate you. I have a property free which means I don’t have to splurge for a hotel. If you prefer somewhere closer, then it’s on you.”

You frown. He’s not the worst landlord you’ve had but he definitely talks like one. He’s only really worried about his liability. Yet, most others wouldn’t have even brought up that clause and left you to wallow in this puddle of dirty laundry water. You shrug, hopefully the other place isn’t too bad.

“Right, uh, I guess I’ll go get dressed,” you relent.

“Great,” he says with blatant exasperation, turning back to face the trembling washer, his voice deflating to a hoarse rasp, “goddamn.”

You hesitate as you stare at his back. The gray fabric of his jersey henley strains across his shoulder blades as the back of his forearms clench, veins pulsing out. He rolls his head on his neck and heaves out again. 

You turn on your foot and slowly pad out of the kitchen. You hear his sole squeak subtly but refuse to glance back again. You can’t help but feel that it’s all your fault. You’re sure he’s too nice to say so. Or too distracted by the chaos you’ve caused.

🖤

The new apartment isn’t an apartment at all. It’s a walkup townhouse with a sleek black and white exterior. The neighbourhood is far out of your range but you won’t complain. You suspect Steve is already aware of the deferential.

“Wow, this place is really nice,” you say as he holds the door for you. You step inside and take in the space; a narrow staircase to the next floor, black frames around grayscale photography, and minimalist decor in the form of a standing geometric floor vase and a coat rack with bent arms. 

You stop to take your shoes off on the mat as Steve squeezes in behind you and shuts the door. You trip away from him, surprised by the friction of his body against yours. You’ve always been overly aware of yourself and how much room you take up. Your size makes it hard to not feel crowded, still the close brush rattles you.

He swirls the keys around a finger and stills them in his fist. He looks around emphatically and waves a hand.

“Well, this is it. It’s my only vacant property at the moment, so, it’ll have to do. Fully furnished, at least.”

“It’s great,” you assure him as you step further in, your duffel hanging heavy from one arm, “wow, it’s…”

“A lot bigger than your place. Yeah. New development. Invested at ground floor. You’ll be the first tenant, at least for the time being.”

“Ah, right,” you go to the narrow bench of black acrylic and place your bag atop it. “I’ll try not to mess it up.”

“Didn’t mean it like that.”

“Uh, yeah, but obviously it’s above my paygrade,” you scoff, “I appreciate it and sorry again.”

“Don’t worry about it. Really. Dropping a couple hundred on a new washer woulda saved us both trouble. I only got one person to blame,” he holds out his hand, “you don’t need a tour, do ya?” He offers the keys and you step up to take them, “I’ll be back around noon to get you to work but I got running around to do.”

“Um, I should be able to figure it out–”

“Oh, wait,” he puts a finger up, “the door code. Just in case. Also, you’ll wanna override the security system when you get in.” He turns and points to the sleek black box mounted beside the door, “I got it on my phone but you’ll just need to pop it open and put in the number.” He slides out his phone, “I’ll just text it before I forget.”

“Right,” you nod as you clutch the keys tight, “got it. I think I can manage.”

“Anyway, you got my number, you need anything, you know how to reach me,” he checks his watch, “noon,” he repeats as he points at you, “I’ll be back.”

He spins and opens the door, swiftly stepping through before swinging it shut behind him. You’re left slightly stunned and don’t move right away. You cross the floor and twist the latch of the door, a cautious habit likely unnecessary in this neighbourhood.

You turn back to your new abode and let your eyes rove. Wow. All this just for you. You wonder how much one of these places go for. Your monthly pay probably wouldn’t even cover a single week.

You shuffle forward, uncertain, expecting for Steve to come back through and tell you it’s all a mistake. 

You peer around at the immaculate decor. Each piece is perfectly set and carefully curated. The long leather sectional and the matching square backed armchairs before the artificial fireplace in the wall. A low coffee table on a rug patterned in black and white, a touch of red in the throw pillows and the curtains.

Then the kitchen, white, pure marble, and pale silver appliances. The tile is marked by subtle dove grey diamonds, and a table sits against the wall with two chairs. You go back into the hallway and down towards the front of the stairs. You peek up at the top as you pass the small half-bath embedded on the other side.

Upstairs, you find two bedrooms, a full bath, and what appears to be a study, along with several spacious closets. It’s truly a dream. Who knew a broken washer could get you a stay in heaven.

Well, you should get settled in. Enjoy it while it lasts.

🖤

As promised, Steve shows up just before noon. You have your uniform on but feel less than ready to go. The abrupt awakening, the displacement, and the typical dread of the overcrowded box store. Your job is less than glamorous and the townhouse underlines that even more as you bid it a reluctant goodbye.

Steve’s car is sleek and red and overpriced. You don’t know much about cars but you can just tell. The interior is squeaky and so clean you’re sure it must be right off the lot. That new car smell fills your nose and threatens to inspire a migraine.

You put your purse in your lap and buckle up as he turns down the volume on the stereo. You recognise the song, surprised by his taste. He didn’t seem the angsty type. As far from grungy as you can imagine.

“Smashing Pumpkins?” You comment.

“You don’t like them?”

“Don’t mind em,” you shrug, “just figured you were more into… I don’t know, just not them.”

“When I’m not unclogging toilets or changing smoke alarms, I actually do have fun,” he scoffs.

“Oh, I didn’t mean–”

“Kidding,” he assures you as he pulls away from the curb.

You watch the townhouses pass by as he slowly rolls down the street. It’s eerie. There are no other cars lined up in the spots parallel to the pavement. In fact, you don’t see anyone else around. Not through windows, not coming or going, no one so much as walking down the cul-de-sac. It is oddly isolated from the suburbs all around.

“Not like I have great music taste, I’m a disco junkie,” you try to laugh off the tension.

“Fun,” he muses dully.

You don’t respond. You’re on your phone checking Uber prices for the way back. Eek. You pull up the bus routes for the area; at least two transfers to get there. Shit.

“So…” Steve begins, “who you chatting with? Telling them about your tight-ass landlord or what?”

“Uh, no,” you put your phone down and black the screen, “I was just… tryna figure out how I’m getting home. Sorry. Did you say something?”

“Nothing important,” he assures, “what time are you done?”

“Nine, closing,” you explain, “it’s fine, there’s buses. I’ll just have to remember not to go to my usual stop.”

“I can come get you,” he offers.

“That’s… that’s fine. You don’t have to. You’ve already done enough–”

“Really, I don’t have much else going on. Besides the washer but my buddy’s taking care of that for me. I’ll be available.”

“If you don’t mind, but really, I’m gonna have to learn the route. Actually, when do you think I’ll be back at my apartment?”

“Couple of days at best. After we left, the water got into the motor of the dryer– to spare you the whole spiel, the dryer needs to be replaced too. And the floor might need to come up, water’s done a number on the laminate–”

“Oh,” you grimace, “I… that sounds bad.”

“Nothing that can’t be fixed. Look, I know it’s probably not ideal for you to be all the way out here. I’ll keep you updated,” he speaks with one hand as his other remains on the wheel.

“Oh, no, I appreciate all your help. It’s just…” you cross your ankles and nervously wiggle your foot, “I’m just anxious.”

He hums and a thoughtful silence rises between you. He turns a corner and clears his throat, “about the apartment or work?”

“What?”

“What are you anxious about?” He asks.

“Oh, uh, yeah, uh, work, sure. Work always makes me anxious. Lots of angry customers and we’re headed into that season, you know?”

“Makes sense,” he nods, moving his hand low on the wheel as he sits back and steers lazily with the clogged flow of the city traffic.

“And the apartment,” you admit, “I’m not the best with change.”

“Yeah, I get that,” he agrees, “I’m a bit of stickler. I like order, you know? Everything has its place. Everyone has their role.”

You mull his words. It’s a strange way of putting it but you get it. You find your life erratic this time of year, when your schedule goes from predictable to hectic and fluid. Everyone wants to switch shifts and all the managers are trying to fill the schedule with as few bodies as possible.

“I mean…” he breaks the lull, “you know, I keep a pretty strict schedule with myself. Try to. You never know when you’ll get a call at 5am.”

You suck in air and look at him from the corner of your eye. His allusion isn’t subtle. The pit sinks further in your stomach. You don’t need one more person disappointed in you, not when you’re about to face Gwen the manager and her omnipotent clipboard.

“Yeah, uh,” you bend your arm and rub your neck, “sorry…”

“You apologise a lot,” he interrupts, “I’m not mad.”

“I know, I just feel bad,” you move your thumb to chew it.

He glances over at you before quickly refocusing on the road. He laughs, a hollow, gristly chuckle, “trust me, if I was mad, you would know.”

You blink. What? You’re not sure what he means. Is he joking? Maybe it’s that he’s such a nice guy that the change would be unmistakable or maybe he’s being sarcastic and you’re too stupid to pick up on it. Either way, you just want this car ride to be over.

“Right,” you eke out, “I’ll, erm, be sure to stay on your good side then.”

He slides his hand around the wheel to the top, squeezing until the leather squeaks. He shifts in his seat and exhales, “girl like you, I can’t imagine you being too much of a handful.”

His remark sticks in your ears. Again, you’re confounded by him. You can't read his tone as it's quickly washed away by the sudden blare of music as he cranks up the volume.

“This is a good one,” he calls over the music, “I’m sure you know it.”

Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage Someone will say, "What is lost can never be saved" Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage

Now I'm naked Nothing but an animal But can you fake it For just one more show?

The creaky tones of Billy Corgan’s lilt surrounds you as Steve bobs his head. The swirl of noise and the shadow of tension mingle and suffocate you. You’re starting to look forward to work.

[bullet-clubs-bitch]

Wild Thing

Jon Moxley x fem reader

A young Jon Moxley meets Y/n somewhere in CZW in 2009 (inspired by Mox’s book)

Mentions: of blood, drug use, swearing, fighting, kidnapping

Main Masterlist

Tonight was my first match in CZW’s Tournament of Death. I stood pacing back and forth in the locker room mentally preparing myself for the events that would occur when I could hear Eddie Kingston yelling at someone in the hallway. He sounded mad. The other men in the locker room exchanged looks and oos before one of them said “She sure is a feisty one isn’t she” to which the men all began to laugh. ‘Who is this she?’ I thought to myself. Eddie then stormed into the room and slammed the door behind him, preventing whoever was behind him from entering the room. He leaned against the door and I could hear angry knocking from the other side. “What does she want now?” said Danny Havoc. (But I just call him Grant) .“She wants to be in TOD, Jon won’t let her” Eddie explained. I didn’t know who this girl they were referring to was but she seemed pretty badass to me. A female wanting to participate in the tournament of death?! “Of course she does! Let me talk to her” said Grant with his thick Jersey accent. Eddie then opened the door to reveal a tall blonde in a Juicy Couture tracksuit. I was not expecting that. 

The gorgeous blond stormed into the room before running into the arms of Grant. “Tell Jon Zandig that I should be in TOD!” she yelled “Now doll, why do you want to be a part of TOD? You know I love ya but you’re too pretty to be doing this kind of shit,” he told her. 

“I want to prove that I can do the same thing you guys can do. Why is it that there are never any women wrestling in these shows? You know I can wrestle! I train my ass off and what do I get back? Nothing, because no one wants to hire a girl. They only want female wrestlers for swimsuit contests and dog food fights. I’m sick of doing that shit! I want to go out there and taste my own blood. TOD or not I want to show these people that I know how to wrestle!” The room was silent. I felt like an outcast, everyone seemed to know about this situation but me. 

Eddie was the first to break the silence. “Let me talk to Jon again. You know he likes you Y/n. I’m sure if you promise not to do anything stupid he will put you in the opener without TOD stipulations” 

Sure enough, Y/n got her match. I watched the match backstage with Grant, both of us hypnotized by what we were seeing. “Who is she?” I asked him, he almost looked shocked that I didn’t know of Y/n. “That’s Y/n, she’s the most badass bitch I have ever met. They call her the Hardcore Barbie because she looks like a Barbie doll and lives off death match wrestling. She’s really nice if you don’t piss her off. She also has good weed.” he told me 

I was so fascinated with her. I needed to know more about her. “Anything else I should know about her? She seems young?” I asked Grant. “Well, she started wrestling when she was 16 and she just turned 20. I know what you’re thinking, she won’t sleep with you, everyone here has tried. It’s so funny that these freaks think she would get with them. She travels with Kingston and me, so don’t you dare try nothing. I will kill you with my bare hands” 

Grant and I watched the rest of the match. I had never seen such a beautiful match. Y/n did in fact know how to wrestle. The man she stood across the ring from was twice her weight yet she picked him up with such ease. The fans loved seeing a pretty girl like herself beat up a sweaty dude. Y/n had beat the man to a pulp, she pinned him 1..2..3 and it was over. I thought it was funny how Grant watched on as a proud parent, that was his girl. I thought about what he said, how she rode with him and Kingston. Why did Eddie never mention Y/n before?

After the show, Y/n officially introduced herself to me. I felt like I was hypnotized by her beauty. She noticed how nervous I was around her and she used it to her advantage, inviting me to hang out after the show with Grant and Eddie. I had to accept, how could you not? 

Eddie explained to me why he hadn’t introduced me to Y/n before. He told me she was known for using her looks to her advantage. “So like she sleeps with people for matches?” I asked him “That’s gross, she would never do that. She mentally fucks you. If you look her too long in the eye you’ll fall right into her trance. She hypnotizes you and manipulates you. She looks all sweet but trust me she has a bad attitude” “So why do you hang out with her then?” I asked him 

“Because she’s fucken wild. She’s so fun to hang out with and she always has weed. Someone needs to look out for her. There are creeps out there man. For god sake she’s a skinny tall blond who lives in Juicy Couture, what do you think will happen?” he told me. Eddie had a good point. 

That night Y/n and I became good friends. Eddie was right when she said she was wild. Once she had a few drinks in her and some of the good shit she was the life of the party. I didn’t understand why Eddie kept Y/n a secret, sure you could tell that she had a few screws loose but don’t we all? For fucks sake if someone willingly wants to participate in TOD you know there’s some form of mental issues going on.

Just then a man approached Kingston and me. He had a fresh buzz cut, was covered in tattoos, had what seemed like a freshly broken nose and looked like the kind of guy who would have women chained up in his basement. “Where is she?” he spat, in a thick Russian accent. I could tell that he and Kingston knew each other, the tension was thick in the air. “Where is who?” Eddie spat back, his New York accent being more noticeable when he was mad. “You know who, stop playing dumb, bum” he responded. “You’re a real fucking idiot, Sasha, she left hours ago. I have no idea where she went but even if I did there’s no way I would tell you” Kingston spat. The men stood chest to chest, eyeing the other down. I did nothing, even I knew not to get involved in whatever this is. Now I didn’t know who the ‘She’ was that they were referring to but by now I think I had an idea. Then Grant came into the mix yelling “I told you if you ever showed your face here again I would fucking kill you” Just then an all-out brawl began. The two men began beating Sasha to a pulp. That’s when I noticed Y/n had vanished into thin air.

I let Kingston and Grant take care of Sasha and went looking for Y/n. In the distance, I heard the sound of broken glass. I followed the sound and found Y/n smashing the windows of a beat-up junk car with a baseball bat. She was mad, she looked evil. Now I knew why Eddie had warned me. “Hey, hey, hey! What’s going on here? What are you doing Y/n?” She turned to face me and I made the mistake of looking into her eyes. Her once bright green eyes had turned a deep forest colour, the whites of her eyes now red. Her makeup was smudged and her cheeks were stained with fresh tears. I was scared. I felt like she was staring into my soul, being able to read my every thought, know all my secrets. “What do you want, Mox?” she said through gritted teeth. “I just want to know what’s going on here. Why are Grant and Eddie beating the snot out of a guy named Sasha?” Her face dropped at the name, that told me what I needed to know.

Just then I heard someone yelling and honking a horn in the background. I turned to find Grant and Eddie yelling at us to get in the car! Y/n and I jumped in the car and sped off. The car was deathly silent. No one dared to say a word. I looked at Grant’s hands that gripped the steering wheel. His knuckles were bloody and bruised, that’s when I noticed the blood on Eddie. The silence was broken when Y/n began to laugh, Grant and Eddie began laughing as well. “What the fuck happened back there?” I asked with genuine concern in my voice. “That jackass back there Sasha, I broke his nose after he followed me home after the show last week. I don’t even want to think about what his intentions were, "she said. “Not to mention 'someone' stole $500 out of my purse at the show today” “If he ever showed his face around here again I said I would kill him” Grant responded. “I smashed his windows because that’s what he gets for trying to kidnap me and stealing my $500” I was honestly speechless. “ I found a bunch of money in his car so it’s only fair I split the reward with all of you,” Y/n said. I watched her pull the fat wad of hundreds out of her pocket and began counting it. “$500 for Grant, $500 for Eddie, $500 for Mox and $1,500 for me. Thank you, Sasha” “Thank you Sasha the rest of us chimed in” From that moment I knew Y/n and I would be best friends. 

[wingedblooms]

More precious than soldiers, than any weapon.

@silverlinedeyes’s post reminded me of one of my favorite revelations in tod. I discussed it in the witch series a while ago, but I’m talking about it again because the language is strikingly similar and could be relevant for Elain’s role in acotar. When Yrene and Chaol visit the Oasis, we learn this:

Yrene turned in place, surveying the pillars, the carvings. No caves—none at all. “Nousha knew the location, though,” she mused. “It must have been important—the site. To the Torre.”

“But its importance was forgotten over time, or warped. So that only the name, the sense of its importance remained.”

“Healers were always drawn to this realm, you know,” Yrene said distantly, running a hand over a column. “The land just … blessed them with the magic. More than any other kind. As if this were some breeding ground for healing.”

“Why?”

She traced a carving on a column longer than most ships. “Why does anything thrive? Plants grow best in certain conditions—those most advantageous to them.”

This land was important, but the reason why it important was warped or forgotten over time. Healers were drawn to it and the land blessed them with healing magic more than any kind. We know there is a deep connection between the magic in the land and the magic of those who inhabit and care for it across the Maasverse (and that was likely emphasized in hofas because it has implications for acotar). This description of the southern continent reminds me of the healing land in the Night Court, with its slumbering heart and its full history and purpose forgotten. The peaks like green hands cupping healing waters.

As their exploration continues in tod, Chaol begins to suspect that the Fae settled on the southern continent to hide something, a treasure of a different sort.

Chaol said, “I thought only one group of Fae ever left Doranelle—to establish Terrasen with Brannon.”

“Maybe another settled here during whatever this war was.” The first war. The first demon war, before Elena and Gavin were born, before Terrasen.

Chaol studied Yrene. Her bloodless face. “Or maybe they wanted to hide something.”

Yrene frowned at the ground as if she could see to the tombs beneath. “A treasure?”

“Of a different sort.”

She met his eyes at his tone—his stillness. And fear, cool and sharp, slid into his heart. Yrene said softly, “I don’t understand.”

“Fae magic is passed down through their bloodlines. It doesn’t appear at random. Perhaps these people came here. And then were forgotten by the world, forces good and evil. Perhaps they knew this place was far away enough to remain untouched. That wars would be waged elsewhere. By them.” He jerked his chin to a carving of a Valg soldier. “While the southern continent remained mostly mortal-held. While the seeds planted here by the Fae were bred into the human bloodlines and grew into a people gifted and prone to healing magic.”

“An interesting theory,” she said hoarsely, “but you don’t know if it could stand to reason.”

“If you wanted to hide something precious, wouldn’t you conceal it in plain sight? In a place where you were willing to bet a powerful force would spring up to defend it? Like an empire. Several of them. Whose walls had not been breached by outside conquerors for the entirety of its history. Who would see the value of its healers and think their gift was for one thing, but never know that it might be a treasure waiting to be used at another time. A weapon.”

“We do not kill.”

A treasure of a different sort. Or what one might call a different kind of strength.

Later, when Yrene and Chaol confront the Valg princess beneath the Torre, their suspicions are confirmed:

“Why are you here,” Yrene breathed. “What do you want?”

“You.”

Chaol’s heart stumbled at the word. Duva straightened. “The Dark King heard whispers. Whispers that a healer blessed with Silba’s gifts had entered the Torre. And it made him so very, very wary.”

“Because I can wipe you all out like the parasites you are?”

Chaol shot Yrene a warning glance.

But Duva plucked the dagger off her womb and studied the blade. “Why do you think Maeve has hoarded her healers, never allowing them to leave her patrolled borders? She knew we would return. She wanted to be ready—to protect herself. Her prized favorites, those Doranelle healers. Her secret army.” Duva hummed, motioning with the dagger to the necropolis. “How clever those Fae were, who escaped her clutches after the last war. They ran all the way here—the healers who knew their queen would keep them penned up like animals. And then they bred the magic into the land, into its people. Encouraged the right powers to rise up, to ensure this land would always be strong, defended. And then they vanished, taking their treasures and histories beneath the earth. Ensuring they were forgotten below, while their little garden was planted above.”

“Why,” was all Chaol said.

“To give those Maeve did not consider important a fighting chance should Erawan return.” Duva clicked her tongue. “So noble, those renegade Fae. And thus the Torre grew—and His Dark Majesty indeed rose again, and then fell, and then slept. And even he forgot what someone with the right gifts might do. But then he awoke once more. And he remembered the healers. So he made sure to purge the gifted ones from the northern lands.” A smile at Yrene, hateful and cold. “But it seems a little healer slipped the butcher’s block. And made it all the way to this city, with an empire to guard her.”

Yrene’s breathing was ragged. He saw the guilt and dread settle in. That in coming here, she had brought this upon them. Tumelun, Duva, the Torre, the khaganate.

But what Yrene did not realize, Chaol instead saw it for her. Saw it with the weight of a continent, a world, upon him. Saw what had terrified Erawan enough to dispatch one of his agents.

Because Yrene, ripe with power and facing down that preening Valg demon…

Hope.

It was hope that stood beside him, hidden and protected these years in this city, and in the years before it, spirited across the earth by the gods themselves, concealed from the forces poised to destroy her.

A kernel of hope.

The most dangerous of all weapons against Erawan, against the Valg’s ancient darkness.

What he had been brought here to retrieve for his homeland, his people. What he had been brought here to protect. More precious than soldiers, than any weapon. Their only shot at salvation.

Hope.

The ancient Fae planted a weapon of a different sort—healing magic—in plain sight so that it could be used to protect the most vulnerable from the Valg. They made sure the right powers would rise up and thrive under the right conditions, like plants in a little garden. It could be a coincidence, but we’ve only heard that phrase used elsewhere in reference to Elain:

The little garden beneath the window was hers: every bloom and shrub had been picked and planted by her hand; she would allow no one else to care for it. Even the weeding and watering she did on her own. (acotar)

"Why?" Elain demanded. "Shall I tend to my little garden forever?" When Nesta flinched, Elain said, "You can't have it both ways. You cannot resent my decision to lead a small, quiet life while also refusing to let me do anything greater." (acosf)

It’s a dismissive phrase meant to belittle the efforts of both the ancient healers and Elain. But in tod, Chaol sees the importance of those efforts and what they ultimately represent for the future: Hope. Hope is more precious than soldiers, than any weapon. And in tod, Hope took the form of healing magic (and is generally connected to healing across the Maasverse). Yrene didn’t need extensive warrior training or to wield a sword; her raw healing power—a weapon of a different kind—was the sword.

Which ultimately brings me back to the questions Sarah planted in acosf. Why, exactly, were all of the Archeron sisters reforged with mighty powers? Why have they been brought to the most powerful court, surrounded by the most powerful warriors? What are they still meant to accomplish together?

We cannot answer those questions without understanding the mysterious gifts of the third sister. Elain has a different sort of strength than her sisters and for some reason, she was given such powers by Wyrd. Maybe her powers are a different kind of weapon that are needed now to address an ancient and familiar enemy. One that buried its secrets beneath the earth and warped the magic of the land to their benefit.

[accio-victuuri]

April CPNs round-up! ❤️💛💚

• BJYX shows up in station sisters team building photos/videos. proving that the pairing is still very much relevant and loved 🫶🏼

• allegedly spending some time together 4/2 and 4/3 when yibo went to shanghai

• cql and xz gets mentioned in a livestream for WoF

• wyb with a beaded bracelet that seems to be a clue that he spent time with GG ; more on the initial thoughts about the bracelet and why give an obsidian one

•zsww fake rumor of their meet up

•their love for watching old cctv spring festival gala sketches

• 4/8, in the FPU douyin update, he continues on with the dog theme ☺️ he really is a puppy! gouzaizai!

• not really a cpn/candy but their name side by side for the alleged registration list for Magnolia Award. i’m just so proud and as a cpf, it feels good seeing them succeed. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

• 4/8 cpns : fan used for camping that xz uses, the number 38 and us clowning about concerts

• some are comparing this interaction between wyb and hjy in FPU bts with how he is with GG. saying when he is hurt, he goes all out and shows it to GG but with others he won’t say anything. i agree that this thing is true both for GG/WYB, meaning they only show “weakness” to each other 🥺🥺🥺

* throwback post : fake rumor story during cql shoot of someone that works closely with yibo

• this side by side photo, they look alike in this profile!

• 4/16/24 zsww rumor

• the rumor that wyb visited LOZ shoot and my thoughts on it ; i know i cannot stop people from “enjoying” this material and what it potentially implies but i personally cannot condone the type of behavior that disrespects them. especially xz who has been v frustrated with the leaks happening in his project. and just to dispel the rumors, this is who people are saying is supposedly yibo ⬇️⬇️⬇️

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

no shade to this guy. he was just a victim of people’s overzealous tendencies. this is not the first time cpfs have done this, in OOL and OnO we’ve had questionable video evidences too which is most likely not who we think it is. please stop. it’s not just the leaks. we have to protect them. we know they visit each other, let’s just bridge the clues with what they give us. we cpn that they visit the ST or probably even follow certain cpf accounts, there is just no universe that they will see this kind of conversations related to leaked photos and videos and be happy about it.

• DESCENDANTS OF THE SUN AU 😭😭😭😭 idk man. military/police wyb and doctor xz pairing is really top notch!

• 4/19 xiao zhan weibo post for the 6th solar term - Guyu ( Grain Rain ) and all the clowning: one / two

• 4/20 zsww rumor ; hinting at them working on a project where one will direct and the other will act

��� WYB’s GQ hat could be a custom made one from Tod’s????

• A new explanation about the mystery driver and comparing it to the mask WYB uses

• There has been some conversation because of WYB’s bazaar shoot with his FPU co star/team and that it’s no longer just XZ that he has done that with. Well i have to say that no matter what people say, the bazaar one with XZ is different. just the production value and theme of it — was more romantic and WYB was totally expressive. plus don’t forget that the shoot for that was where xz called him Venus. it will always be special, cause it’s just the 2 of them. there is no use comparing, i bet you, xz will have a joint cover or spread for LOCH with the female lead. it is part of marketing.

• yibo and his rainbow necklace 🌈

• I will add this here cause i don’t think it needs a separate post with how galaxy brain it is. it’s about certain photos uploaded by YBO being 2.3 MB in size. 23 love zhan. whether this is intentional or something special. who knows. it just came up again this month because the bear photo is with the same file size. 🤷🏻‍♀️

other instances are outlined by this account on weibo :

February 3, 2:30 pm (Picture 1) // May 11 (Picture 3) // June 1st, Children’s Day, “Children are in love” (Picture 5) // August 5th, birthday composition (Picture 7)// November 22 (Picture 9)

• 4/29 zsww fake rumor

• GUCCI wall 2.0 is close to Lacoste big screen ad! oh the possibilities!

• 4/29 candies to enjoy ( includes: their promos not overlapping, jiayou parallel, double standards and the bead bracelet discussion again )

See you all next month! ✌🏼💛

<<< previous month

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

15 Day Bl Challenge - Part 4

Day 60 - Favorite lesser known BL

Hmm, I'm not sure if I am fully tapped into what counts as "lesser known", since this is pretty much the only fandom space I hang out in, and I know certain series get more chatter on Twitter/TikTok/etc than they might here, but here are a few series l loved that I feel get less talk around here than they deserve.

Ghost Host Ghost House

This show should have been so much bigger than it was. If you look at YouTube views, the sections with the smooching have over a million views (and yes it is very good smooching), but the other segments have significantly less, which means a lot of people are missing the really good character stuff that was happening in this series. Boy and Tod were so good together with such amazing chemistry, but there was also some really profound work around grief, loss, and moving on.

Ingredients

A slow burn fluff BL produced by a grocery chain, featuring some amazing food, and the equally delicious Jeff Satur. What's not to love? It clearly had a low budget but it just adds to the sweet charm of it.

Perfect Propose

There's been a lot of really engaging Japanese BL this year, so this may have been easy to miss. But it's been interesting to see likes on my posts around this show continue to trickle in slowly over time - more so than almost any other show that I have posted about this year. Which isn't necessarily proof of anything, but potentially seems to indicate that when people do watch it, they are immediately looking for blogs talking about how good it is.

I honestly can't remember the last time a show made me feel so seen. Not the romance part - lol, I wish - but the way working in a toxic environment breaks you down at such a deep level, and how numb it can make you feel. It was a very short watch, but it had a lot of insightful things to say about modern workplace culture and the small things that we hold onto to make life worth the struggle.

Cosmetic Playlover

Another fantastic entry from Japan, that I think got a little bit lost in the flood of new content coming out.

It's a fun watch, with more sweetness than you might expect at first glance. Honorable mention to Natsume's mother and sister, who win the award for "most adorably delighted to learn their beloved family member has a boyfriend".

Jun and Jun

A cute and light-hearted series that was also more sexy than you would typically expect from a Korean BL. Also Ki Hyun Woo does such fun things with his face. I just like looking at him.

DNA Says Love You

Amber is still one of my all time favorite little sweeties, just so precious and adorable. And I don't want to spoil anything, but will say we get a type of representation that is still incredibly rare in the BL world. It does start a tad slow, but it's worth it to keep going.

Lucky My Love

A GL for the list! It's really short, but such sweet fluff. If you need something really feel good and low stress, this is a great option.

And that's a wrap on BL Challenge 2024!

Can't believe I did 60 of these! Woot woot!

[yellowwithalisp]

Hobie with a partner that seems unapproachable/emotionally unavailable due to being goth, having social anxiety, and having a resting bitch face that is truly one of the most caring and understanding people ever once you get to know them!

(Mom friend energy?? The type of person who remembers everything when they seem like they aren't paying attention)

"Why are they always wereing those headphones?"

Miles asked as he loooked over at (Y/N). Hobie glanced over to him before his eyes shifted over to (Y/N).

❝Having headphones on all the time and a face like tha' doesn' always mean they're no' listening. I' jus' means life been too hard on them.❞

He said as he reached over and riped a piece of tech out of the walls of the Spiders base. Gewn had her legs pulled up to her chest as she watched him.

"Seems like their always listening to music. Tuning out the world."

❝The wold can ge' too loud for some. Gets a bi' overwhelming.❞

He said as he took what looked to be a USB out of a computer. Miles watch them shift around a bit, every now and then glancing over to the three before looking away. Hobie seemed to have stolen enough thing for what ever he was working on and put what ever he made in his pockets. Walking over to them as Miles and Gwen watched. He sat down next to them and said something. Then nod as they moved one side of their headphones off of her ear to hear him better. The two watch as he gave her the watch he was working on. They started at him before craving a plastic back next to them and talking. Hobie listen to them before having a light smirk on his face before picking himself up with his hands still in his pockets. They stood up and handed him what looked to be a candy before glancing over to the other two. He tossed whatever candy into his mouth that they gave her before he started to walk back to the others slightly. They watched as he stopped and nod his head at them. Giving them.a bit of courage to walk over to the group with the bag.

"What's that?"

Miles asked at Hobi tossed another candy into his mouth.

❝Toxic woste.❞

He said as he tossed more of the sour candy into his mouth. They slowly caught up to their partner as he shifted a bit to look at them. They had a good case of rbf, but looked nervous as they reached into the bag and handed the two candy.

"Ah, what's this?"

Green asked as Miles opens his bag and quickly started to eat the candy.

"C-candy you both said you like."

Gwen looked down at her candy and them back up at them.

"But, I haven't brought this up sense we first meet?"

Then nod.

"That was-"

❝A while ago.❞

He smirked as he todded an arm around them.

❝They remember. Jus' whenever your assuming their no' paying attention. They are.❞

He said before he slightly ruffled their hair.

❝Like I remember they wonted to go to tha' Evanescence concer' later today.❞

Their head shot up as they quickly nod yes. Hobie chruskled as his body trend so he could face them.

❝Want head home and star getting ready for i'. You going to do your makeup for it?❞

They nod the shrugged before Hobie still has the relaxed smile and and opens up a gated home for them. Waving the two bye as they stepped through.

[emptymasks]

Old Web European Musical Sites

So this post started because I was looking through the waybackmachine on the Internet Archive for the old Disney Fairies site for a friend, and remembered I'd backed up some old musical related sites a couple years ago on the waybackmachine just to archive them.

Which made me remember how recently I saw someone on here, I don't remember who, asking if there were interviews either about Elisabeth das Musical or specifically with Uwe Kroger (the actor who originated the role of Der Tod/Death) in English to which someone had answered no but there are some quotes and fragments in other posts on here. Which made me remember an old website I'd found that did have interviews on and I went out to find it. After I found it, I tried to find another website I'd found that had nice old photos of Uwe on that I'd save for I'd never seen them anywhere else, but sadly can no longer find the site and I hadn't bookmarked it or archived it. But, in doing so I did find some others.

So, come along with me as I find some ye olde websites based around European Musicals and Non-English Musicals, all of which I am archiving using the waybackmachine and can be found on my archive.org account @ wennli3b3 under the 'web archives' tab on my profile.

What is old web? The aesthetics wiki describes it as "Essentially consisting of screencaps and gifs, Old Web is an aesthetic utilizing traditional web design elements combined with aspects of poetry and self-expression. This also includes GIFs, video games, and clip-art. This aesthetic expresses nostalgia for Internet culture of the early 1990s to early 2010s." Think of old GeoCities and AngelFire websites, the pre-2010s internet where it wasn't uncommon for anyone to make their own little website for anything and the internet wasn't just social media. There's just such a charm for me about these old sites and the work people put into customising and decorating their sites, often just as a fun project for themselves or a way to document things they loved. Therefore the websites we'll be looking at are from the 90s up to the late 2000s, 2010s and onwards websites don't count for this list.

What is the waybackmachine? The waybackmachine is hosted on the Internet Archive, it's a digital archive of websites that lets you visit websites as they were during the past if they've been archived there.

[Note: this post won't have clickable links because that can make Tumblr unhappy and either hide or soft-block my post, so sadly no clickable links, but I will write out the links with spaces in the hopes that won't hide the post and you will just have to type them in for yourselves, and I will link my web archive page in the replies to this post. I am also not claiming to be the first to back these sites up or discover them, some of them have already been archived in past, but doing them all under one account means you guys can have an easy list of them all in one place. Some of these sites no longer exist and are only accessible via the waybackmachine, in those cases I will save those sites to my web archive so they are all listed on one page.]

1. musicalvienna . at

Staring with a website some of you will be familiar with and while in it's current 2023 form doesn't count as old web and is easily accessible, we're going back in time with the waybackmachine to see how the site looked and what information it had about old current productions in 2000-2008. And frankly I don't know what to do with the information that at some point in 2000 there was a 'vampire museum' inside the Raimund Theatre that had what appears to be a wax figure of Steve Barton in his original Graf von Krolock costume. I. What??

2. eljen . net / kroeger

A fansite dedicated to Uwe Kroger, the actor, that was run seemingly from 1998-2002 that old photos, links to music that no longer work, but most important to me is the 'Press' page that has many articles and interviews with Uwe that have been translated into English! The site is also available in German eljen . net / kroeger / deutsch. A special shoutout to Uwe's own drawing of himself as Der Tod.

3. eljen . net / elisabeth

Run by the same person as the first site, in fact it is technically the same site however if you go to the root eljen . net there is just a blank page with a link to the /kroeger site, there's no direct link to the Elisabeth site, you can only find it through googling or having the direct URL.

4. iukc . de

The Uwe Kroger fanclub webite seems to have started around 2000 but it was taken offline sometime after October 2021 as going to the URL now leads to a 404 error page, but the site is still accessible using the waybackmachine. On a 2019 capture of the website it states this fanclub was dissolved on December 31st 2019 and was advertising the uwe-kroeger-community . com website as a new fanclub. Some of the pages are available in English and Japanese, but all of the pages are only available in German. The site includes information about the fanclub, as well as lists of Uwe's work, discography, and more.

5. gudrun-kauck . de

A site that as far as I can tell is run by someone just documenting their life and things they see, and that happens to include many musicals. Down the left side of the site there are pages for The Phantom of the Opera, Tanz der Vampire, Ludwig, Concerts, Musicals and Actors. Here there is so much information, interviews, photos, screenshots, transcriptions of scripts and lyrics, articles, and more. This site is a real treasure trove. It's been updating since at least 2004 and it's most recent update was in 2023. This site is in German.

6. jimsteinman . com

The Tanz der Vampire page on Jim Stienman's website has links to lots of articles, interviews and photos for the original 1997 Vienna production and the 2000 Stuttgart production. This site is in English.

7. carpe-jugulujm . com

Another site that is no longer active and can only be accessed via the waybackmachine, it was online by 2006 and taken offline between late 2021 and 2023. It has information on productions of Tanz der Vampire between 1997 and 2009 and is one of the few if not the only place I've found information about the 2000 Estonia production. This site is in English.

8. geocities . ws / mymusicalworlds

This website is all in Chinese, however parts of it are in English and German. It lists information on different musicals, actors, and has lyrics for songs, and photos. It also has midi files but, as with almost all of these old sites, the download links no longer work.

9. theatre-musical . com

This website started around 2002 and was closed some time in 2016, if you go to the website now all you'll get is a message saying the website has been closed, however the old pages are still accessible via the waybackmachine. There's pages for many musicals with lots of information about each show and each of these musical pages has a link to a page that lists other sites, official and fanmade, that are about this musical. There's many more sites to find via

10. elisabeth-fanclub . de

A fansite dedicated to Elisabeth das Musical, more specifically the 2001 Essen production and 2003 Vienna Revival. This site includes information and photos about these productions. It was online by 2004 and was taken offline some time after 2007 and is only now available via the waybackmachine. This site is in German.

11. sisi-net . de

While this site is more dedicated to the actual real Empress Elisabeth, it also has a page dedicated to Elisabeth das Musical which includes several articles and interviews for the 2001 Essen production. There is also some information on here about the Ludwig musical. This site is in German. It was online by 1999, in 2008 the site was empty and "'"under construction" and after 2008 seemed to have either had it's domain sold or hacked and became used for something else, and by 2019 was offline.

12. geocities . com / broadway / 8851

Another site that is dedicated to the real person Elisabeth, but also has information about multiple productions of Elisabeth das Musical. The site was started in 1996 and is no longer online as GeoCities no longer exists as a website hoster, but can be accessed using the waybackmachine. This site is in English.

13. elisabeth-musicpage . de

A German fansite for the 2001 Essen production of Elisabeth das Musical that contains information about the show, merchandise, photos, etc. The site was online by 2002, went under construction in 2005 and after 2006 went offline and only accessible via the waybackmachine. This site is in German.

14. elisabeth-das-musical . de

The old official site for the 2001 Essen production of Elisabeth das Musical. It's only accessible via the waybackamachine however all I could access is this homepage as the site seems to require flash player which no longer exists. The site was made in 2001, by 2006 it was redirecting to a different website that no longer exists, and by 2008 it was just offline.

15. sissi . nl

The official site for the 1999 Dutch production of Elisabeth das Musical. The site went up in 1999 and is no longer online and only accessible via the waybackmachine.

16. marloes . info

A site where someone cataloged every musical they saw between 1996 and 2004. Some of these listings link to their reviews of the musicals and pictures they took (the pictures of Elisabeth das Musical really interest me because they went on a night where Jesper Tyden was understudying for Der Tod (he usually played Rudolf) in teh 2001 Essen production).

17. danceofthevampries . com

The official site for the 2002 Broadway production of Tanz der Vampire. Whilst we all have... feelings about this production, the site's design is very of its time. It has information on the (re-written) plot, cast, downloads for the original English demo recordings (that no longer work), and more. In 2002 the cast page lists the Broadway cast, after the shows closure in 2003 these pages advertised the 2003 Hamburg cast, and by 2006 it now advertises the 2006 Berlin cast, and then even by 2012 that page was no longer being updated. This site is now only accessible via the waybackmachine, I don't know when exactly it went offline but I remember being able to acccess it back in 2020. This site is in English.

18. tanzdervampire . de

The official site for German-lanuage productions of Tanz der Vampire from 2000 to around 2004, mostly the 2003 Hamburg production. Some pages of the site sometimes redirect to musicalwelt . de, like the 'galarie' page that links to a page of many paintings by Mike Schöbs of the original 1997 Vienna production. The site is only accessible via the waybackmachine, sometimes I have difficultly loading the pages, and sometimes the pages on later dates redirect to stagegholding . de which no longer exists or works.

19. tanz-der-vampire . de

A fansite for the 2003 Hamburg production of Tanz der Vampire that is still online. It has info about the musical and this production. The page I found the most interesting is the info > links page. It has a list that includes screenshots of websites from around 2003 with official and fanmade sites for different actors from the musical (such as Marjan Shaki, Maike Switzer, Aris Sas, Thomas Mülner, Jens Janke, Ian Jon Bourg, Kevin Tarte and more) most if not all of these sites are on the waybackmachine (and I'm saving them to my own web archive page rather than listing them all here, Tumblr has a text limit and an image limit and we're already running close to it).

20. fuer-sarah . de

A fansite dedicated to actors who played Sarah including understudies, alternates, swings, and dancers who played Sarah/Solo Female Dancer in the dance sequences in Tanz der Vampire. This site is in German and is only available via the waybackmachine and was active between 2001-2005.

21. musicalland . de

A fansite dedicated to musical theatre with some more specific pages dedicated too Elisabeth das Musical, The Phantom of the Opera, 42nd Street and Mamma Mia. The site is still online and stopped updating in 2010. This site is in German. The link to the Elisabeth das Musical page no longer works, but can still be accessed using the waybackmachine.

22. old-hickory . demon . co . uk / jim

A fan page for composer Jim Steinman that has pages about his non-musical work as well as his musicals Tanz der Vampire and Whistle Down the Wind. The Tanz der Vampire pages include lyrics in German and English, as well as the entire original 1997 Vienna libretto translated into English, as well as the 2000 Stuttgart production's programme fully translated into English that includes information and interviews. The site is in English and only accessible via the waybackmachine.

23. romeojulietmusicals . com

A fan site for the French musical Roméo et Juliette that has pages dedicated to many different language productions with cast lists, information, lyrics and lyric translations. There are galleries on the site but the images on longer load. This site is in English and was online between 2004 to 2008. There is a 'related links' page that contains so many more links to other musical sites.

24. compat . tf1 . fr

A fan site for Roméo et Juliette for the original 2000 Paris production containing images of the cast, and video interviews and behind the scenes with links that no longer work. This site is in French.

25. mozartbudapest . hu

The official website for the 2003 Budapest production of Mozart das Musical. This website is only accessible via the waybackmachine, it contains the cast list, a bio of Mozart (the person), but sadly most of the image no longer work. I mention it here only because when i opened it I was surprised the original logo animation and music still played. This site is available in English and Hungarian.

26. notredameonline . com

During 2000-2001 this URL was for the French musical Notre Dame de Paris and you can see this via the waybackmachine. The site then went offline after 2001 and the domain was sold and since 2006 has belonged to the University of Notre Dame. I really like the design of this site, sadly most of the links open pop-ups that no longer work. The site is available in French and English.

27. notredamedeparis . it

The official site for the 2002 Italian tour of Notre Dame de Paris. It has a lot of information about the musical and this specific production. This site is in Italian and is only accessible via the waybackmachine.

28. geocities . ws / dreamcatcher182004

A fansite dedicated to a few musicals that was last updated in 2003. It has pages for Chicago, Les Mis, Miss Saigon, The Phantom of the Opera and Tanz der Vampire.

.

So yeah, that was a list. I hope that was interesting or for anyone wanting to find more information about these musicals for research, essays, or just for fun, that this post was helpful or interesting in some way. There are a lot more websites than just the ones on this list, however Tumblr has both a photo and a character limit for text posts. Hope someone found this interesting. I just like making lists.

[lunatic-fandom-space]

I just saw a very interesting post about the difference between how todolf shippers look at todolf as a fantasy vs how elisatod shippers look at elisatod as a fantasy and i wanted to throw my two cents in regarding elisatod in canon, but Im feeling a lil shy so Im not reblogging it, and this is a pretty small fandom so Im sure youve already seen it or will see it if you just keep scrolling down. In case you havent, the gist of it is that for a lot of elisatod shippers (and for a lot of the people in charge of the more recent german-language productions) one of the biggest appeals of their dynamic is this idea that death doesnt love anyone except for Elisabeth which makes her special, whereas with todolf its more like. Im having a hard time summarizing it in my own words, I guess i personally would say that its literally just the inverse where todolf shippers think that death has a romantic relationship with everyone (or at least everyone who thinks a lot about death and dying) so the 'specialness' of it doesnt matter/doesnt factor into it, its basically just about their dynamic in a vacuum, but i dont think thats what the post was saying ? Whatever, we're talking about elisatod rn so it really doesnt matter

So, for me the most important thing about the love between Elisabeth and der Tod is that its pretty much unrequited until the moment she dies. Like, we have a brief moment of mutual interest when they first meet and she sings the little Wie Du reprise and (in the 1992 prod) he gives her this suggestive look after shes done, but after that its basically all him pursing her when she clearly does not want that, until Rudolf wo bist du where she is finally ready to give into him, but now he doesnt want her, and then they only really fall in mutual love when she dies and they basically have no other choice. This friction where they can never really be in mutual love because Elisabeth never wants to lose her agency or control over her life until she doesnt and tries to give it up, and Tod only "wants" her when shes clinging on to life and rejecting him, is the core of their relationship.

Now, you'll notice that i put the word 'wants' in quotes when i was talking about Tod and thats because i dont think he, as originally witten in the vienna productions, is capable of wanting anything because hes not a person, hes a reflection of the people around him and because of that, his behaviour in any given scene is determined by the context around him. I know thats kind of a clunky way of phrasing that, but I have to do describe it in such a broad and vague way because his behaviour is really not consistant. For an example of what Im talking about, in Elisabeth mach auf mein Engel, he tells Elisabeth that he loves her but hes only doing that in contrast to Franz Joseph; her husband comes up to her trying to burden her with his own problems when she's feeling bad and in need of comfort herself, meanwhile death is offering her unconditional love. Another example that I like is in Die Schatten werden länger reprise, where he has to start the song because Rudolf is too paralysed by fear to articulate his feelings until he has his support

But the moment of death's behaviour being influenced by the people hes interacting with that I find the most interesting, is his introduction during the prologue where the people he's interacting with are the audience. Because during that part of the song, hes essentially playing into the audience's expectation that Elisabeth and death will be a traditional soft tragic romance, hes talking about her in a very gentle and wistful way and in way that subtly implies that she was the only person he ever loved, but then during the actual story, hes treating her very aggressively and their relationship is honestly pretty unpleasant, and we can clearly see that she was not the only person he ever loved because his and Rudolf's relationship is just as intense in a similar overtly romantic way (and arguably more so because its mutual and requited). But then obviously we got Kein Kommen ohne Gehen which essentially contradicts all of this and severely clashes with the entire rest of the elisatod relatio ship, but its late and if i start complaining about that, Im gonna add another 2 paragraphs to this post

So yeah, these are some of my thoughts about elisatod, i have a lot more but its 2am and i just soent two hours writing this and I can feel my brain turn into mush, so yeabh. please let me know what you think

[thenovocianelullaby]

i always love the SJM men that seem to get the most hate. i’ll just be reading through and kicking my feet thinking that everyone else sees them the way i do so let me just give some opinions…

Lucien is HOT. i said it. in ACOTAR he is so funny and flirty and a fun character and as the series progresses i find him even more hot. I don’t want him to end up with elain CAUSE I WANT HIM FOR MYSELF!!!

CHAOL IS HOT AND FUN AND CHARMING! i thought that him and celaena didn’t work together but man was i swooning every god damn time he was on the page. and yes i’ll admit his brooding and self hatred got a little… old. but. he made up for it entirely in TOD and maybe it was Yrene doing the heavy lifting in making me think Chaol was hot but.. she did her job.

Eris is hot. i wanna know more about him because the picture that is being painted of him doesn’t make sense to me… that’s all i’m saying on that.

Tharion is hot and is SO CUTE AND WHOLESOME. i’m sorry but the hate he and Ithan received was unwarranted in my dumb stupid opinion. “thEy ShARe OnE BrAIn cElL aNd NeiTHeR Of TheM HaVE iT” ok and? the ENTIRE frat pack shares one brain cell. i think that makes them big dumb himbos. its not for everyone but i find it cute ok? shoot me. ANYWAYS… back to Tharion. this water himbo agreed to MARRY a fish princess cause he couldn’t keep it in his pants.. that’s funny. he actively flirts and makes moves on Bryce in front of Hunt… that’s funny. HE MARRIED HIS FRIEND’S LITTLE SISTER… like cmon that’s funny. yes i wanted to slap him half of HOFAS because he was making the stupidest decisions, but at the end of the day that’s just what a himbo does right?

on to Ithan who i mentioned earlier. yes the sunball was cringe… but have you ever MET a football/baseball/basketball player? like come on he’s a perfect stupid idiot little jock. AND AGAIN A HIMBO. and he wants to do good but he’s young and stupid. it’s like if I as in ME as in MYSELF tried to change the government… bro is just in there kinda fucking everything up but at least he’s trying. also.. i always saw him as like a little brother figure in the books. like he genuinely reminds me of my friends little brother.. which Ithan literally IS Connor’s little brother. so maybe that’s why he gets under so many people’s skin.

(i love every sjm character and i’ll die on this stupid hill)

[emmitaaa4]

look i just find it a little funny that people—for the past 3 years—have been adamant that Azriel’s book is next ergo gwonriel is next... undoubtedly: they have the nb of appearances on their side (💀). it was THE argument.

and we were crazy and lacked common sense for saying elain’s book was coming and that the increased presence of Az + his secrets revolving around Elain = he gets the 2nd PoV in Elain’s book. outrageous fr.

… it’s not really the G/A ship that bothers me, it’s the lack of logic.

The “Az book” insistance exposes the recency bias, but also the flaws in their reasoning:

elain’s story being pushed aside in favour of a necklace/ribbon-centered love triangle (opposing 2 women) that originated in a bonus chapter… really?

the idea that gwyn would get a PoV before elain (let go of character preferences for a second and ✨ponder✨).

worst yet: in general, Gwyn only ever serves as a LI in their theories, a sidekick to Az & Nes because gwyn isn’t directly nor uniquely tied to any plot point (atp).

the way they gaslighted ppl into thinking more training & libraries & HoW gang (with 0 new characters) is more urgent to the narrative than an Elain story; than a *new* story that actually advances the plot & characters.

them not getting that gwonriel would be a consequence of elucien: E/L would have always needed to happen 1st because it is ELAIN’s story & choice.

you can’t just compare the structure of ToG and Acotar as if they’re equivalent: the PoVs work vastly differently, and either way it’s always the women that primarily drive the action… i.e. Nesryn & Yrene in ToD. “bUt cHaOl’s boOk”

if anything LUCIEN is the Chaol of acotar (it’s a compliment i adore chaol). and Vassa’s presence/importance in the series relative to other side characters makes her the closest we have to a Nesryn or Yrene figure. Gwyn is more of a Fenrys.

their characterization of Az goes against what we know of his character; “Az is horrible to women but but it’s ok we love him cause he’s different with Gwyn! she makes him better, she’ll help him heal… mates!!” …how convenient. and weird.

they acknowledge only a (convenient) portion of Elain’s character. her visions / powers involve Koschei… but also much more. Cauldron and Truthteller? never heard of them. Nuala & Cerridwen don’t matter (they’re spying on her guys!), her attraction to Az is dismissible… Lucien being her mate is all that really counts. her “need” for sunshine is her character… a result of picking and choosing of ‘evidence’ ngl (as is the way they spin all her scenes with Az). etc.

refusing to acknowledge the feysand bonus. or the set up in FaS. or the continued development of Elain in SF.

Tbh, as it’s becoming increasingly clear to the fandom that Elain is indeed most likely next, im wondering how they’re spinning this. Mother knows I hate the ship wars, but please let people realize the next book was always elriel “vs” elucien.

[dreaming-of-mossballs]

First Date..? - (Gepard x florist!reader)

Summary: Gepard, after becoming ill to the point of passing out, asked you to go on a tour of the Belobog History and Culture Museum with him. Today is that day!

▸ Genre(s): fluff, a sprinkling of angst

▸ Word Count: 5.5k

▸ Tags: Gepard x reader

▸ Warnings: food mentions, mentions of domestic abuse

A/N: MY LAST POST SHOWED IN THE TAGS!!!! It brought a ton of new people in <3 hello gepard fans, this is a part of my series! You can find more in the masterlist. (Or don’t. I try to make it so you can start wherever.)

the dividers are being stupid but i decided to keep them

MASTERLIST

Gepard, the heir to the Landau name and a sworn Silvermane Guard, wasn’t sure if he had ever felt this nervous in his life.

From his first interview as a cadet to the ceremony promoting him to the position of “Captain,” his heart had never beat as loudly as it did that day. It sent tremors through his chest that traveled all the way to his throat.

He stood resting an arm on the counter of the Neverwinter Workshop reception desk, paying no mind to his sister as she milled about, rummaging through drawers of tools and combing through filing cabinets.

A heavy sigh escaped the captain’s lips as he tapped his fingers apprehensively. All he could focus on was the antique clock on the wall taunting him as it tick, tick, ticked away. Closer and closer to the time he’d be meeting you.

Serval’s voice drew him out of the thoughts weighing his mind down.

“Earthwork should be good to go,” she said, hoisting the shield device slash guitar case onto the counter with a thump.

The bronze safety goggles resting precariously on the top of her head tumbled to the floor. Those would definitely cost a pretty penny.

“Let me know if the shield deployment acts up again, alright?”

Gepard took the procedural report from her and nodded. “You have my gratitude once again, sister. The guards should send you an invoice soon,”

Suddenly, the bell in the central plaza rang. Its sound sent shivers down his spine, which he tried to shake off by glancing absentmindedly out the window. This did not go unnoticed by his sister.

“You seem a little antsy today, Geppie. What’s messing with your rhythm?”

“Ah?” Gepard responded while tucking the yellow slip of paper into his pocket. “I merely have a few affairs that need attending to. The concern is appreciated, though,”

He straightened his collar, averting his eyes. She stared at him incredulously at this pathetically conspicuous act.

“You know?” she snorted. “You are possibly one of the worst liars on Jarilo-VI,”

She dropped her wrench on the desk carelessly, and he stiffened immediately.

“You never act this distant when it comes to affairs. In fact, most of the time you’re pretty quick to pass them off to me!” Serval shook a finger at him. “I’ve had my fair share of headaches, so you better fess up right now, little brother,” she hissed.

She stomped around the counter over the unfortunate pair of goggles and leaned in a good five or so inches away from his face. Gepard mustered all the will in his body to keep his lips straight and his facade up. “Ah— um,”

“Does this, in any way, shape or form, have to do with (Y/N)?” she barked.

“N-no, I…” His eyes flickered for a second at a pot of indigo flowers behind her. Serval, like her namesake, used this as an excuse to pounce.

“It does, doesn’t it? You broke eye contact!” She accused.

“Anyone would, in that situation!” He defended himself, clenching his jaw tightly. “You need to find better methods of interrogating people than that, sister,”

“Excuse you,” Serval snapped. “I’m just curious! We DO share a lot of friends, but (Y/N) is the only one I don’t work with.” She folded her arms.

Gepard ran a hand from his chin all the way to his hair with a groan. The last time they had squabbled like this, he hadn’t yet graduated from cadet school.

He cleared his throat. “That wasn’t what I was thinking about. As for (Y/N), I happen to be seeing them at the museum today. Are you satisfied with this information?”

His sister rolled her eyes at the biting remark and wiped a hand across her brow, smearing motor oil on her forehead. “Yeah. Fine. Don’t bother telling all the juicy details of how that came to be. They’d just be wasted on me!”

Gepard’s shoulders dropped in exasperation as he stared at her. “Why are you so invested in this, sister? You hardly give a single snowflake about my personal life. What changed?”

If looks could kill, Gepard would be six feet under.

“Hey. I’m trying to help you and your hopeless love life!” His sister nearly exploded with frustration. He quickly took a step back.

“Every time you two are in the same room, your face goes pink and you’re completely paralyzed,” she said, exasperated. “At this rate, you’ll grow old before your feelings reach them!”

She stuck a finger in her mouth with a gagging noise. Gepard blushed even harder.

“My feelings have nothing to do with you, sister,” he sputtered while simultaneously going over every single time you’ve happened to be in a room together in his head.

Serval stopped for a moment, her hackles seeming to fall. Her voice dropped an octave. “They do, actually,”

Serval sucked in a breath through her teeth.

“Y’know, Gepard… I’ve seen you go your entire life laying down everything you’ve ever had for Belobog. Isn’t it about time you pursue something— someone, that makes you happy?”

She paused, letting the words linger in his mind. Then she spoke again.

“Y’know, that you love,”

The air between them became thick with silence.

Serval sighed, leaning her back against the counter. Her little brother seemed to lack the words to respond.

“I’ve seen how you light up when you see them. And it hurts me seeing you stamp your feelings down each and every time,”

She searched in his eyes for any sign that her message was reaching him. But she did not find one.

“I’ve told you this before. Love isn’t something you can half-ass. You have to put your all into it—,” she twirled a pen around in her hand to blow off some steam. “—I don’t even care if you don’t want my help. I just want you to feel like you can confide in me, okay?”

She looked back at her brother, who was now staring at the floor, and smiled wistfully.

Well, Belobog wasn’t built in a day, after all.

Serval shrugged. “Anyways. You don’t have to listen to your big sis. I just think you should spend as much time with them before you’re sent away on another campaign.” Her tone became humorous. “Make sure you’re aaa-ll they think about when you’re gone,”

Gepard’s head shot up, his mouth going agape, and he quickly shut it.

“Why would I want to do that??”

“So you two can send each other looong letters about how much you love and miss each other, of course!” Serval chuckled teasingly, sticking her tongue out at her furiously blushing younger brother.

“They— they don’t feel that way about me,” he choked out.

She folded her arms at his defeated tone. “Maybe they don’t, but you two have chemistry!”

She slapped him on the shoulder heartily, which caused him to choke on the breath he was taking. “I can tell they care for you. And since when have Landaus been ones to give up?”

Gepard let out an exhale through his nose at the saying his sister would always repeat when they were kids.

“…never,”

“That’s right, little brother! Now, how long before your little date?”

He sighed again. “I’m going after I put my shield in the barracks,”

This time, it was Serval’s turn to freeze. “Right now?!” Her eyes burned holes into him.

“Yes, right now,”

She launched herself at him and dug her long nails into his shoulders. He stumbled backwards, trying to keep his balance. “NO. NO YOU CAN’T. NOT LIKE THAT,”

“Why is that?” Gepard blinked in surprise.

“You’re off duty today and you’re still in uniform? We’ve gotta get you tidied up,” she gasped.

“I sincerely doubt that they care—,” he started, remembering the time you showed up to a cafe with your gardening gloves on and dirt smudged on your face.

Serval bristled at him. He swallowed nervously.

He knew better than to keep talking.

His sister grabbed him harshly by the shoulder and yanked him out the door towards the estate.

Oh Aeons. This wasn’t going to be good.

❆ — ❆ — ❆

And finally, there you were. Gepard spotted you people watching as you waited outside of the Belobog History and Culture Museum, back rested on the handrail languidly, like a tourist.

You turned towards him with one hand gripping a pamphlet, the other shielding your eyes from the sun and—

Oh wow.

Why did he look like that?

He was taking long strides towards you, in an outfit that could only be described as way over-the-top. His hair was slicked back so you could see his forehead and (very strong) jawline, and he wore a brilliant white suit with silver accents that was most definitely meant for something more formal than a trip to the museum.

Additionally, he had on a long white cape that stopped at his ankles. With the bright sunlight shining down, it was blinding.

He looked like a foreign prince, from one of those novels Vaska liked to read. One woman’s jaw dropped as he passed by.

Oh, Aeons. Serval had definitely played a part in this one.

You, on the other hand, wore the same thing you always did. The green florist’s uniform coupled with a beret (which was rather charming, in your opinion). You shook yourself off and walked up to meet him.

“Hiya Captain!” You said as he approached.

Gepard felt something stab through his chest at the formal title, but he brushed it off.

“Glad to see you’re back in shape— and whoa, you look nice today.”

You looked him up and down keenly, and Gepard thought he felt his heart stop.

“Y-yes. I happened to have made a full recovery, thank you. Shall we go in?” He cringed inwardly at his inability to speak.

As much as he hated it, Serval was right. His heart was beating sixteenth notes as he looked at you. And no matter what he did, he couldn’t slow it down.

You nodded. But your eyes darted to the side for a second, showing a hint of uncertainty.

“Yeah! Um… Maybe lose the cape though?”

You gasped as you saw him quickly cover his face with his hand.

“N-not like it doesn’t look good on you! I was just thinking it might catch on the displays, y’know,”

“No, no. I get it.” Gepard let out a small groan, much like an arctic bear cub. “Serval insisted on dressing me up before I left. I should have told her not to.”

He grimaced, knowing all too well that it wouldn’t have made a difference either way. He then unclasped the cape and rolled it up into a tight ball, tucking it under his arm.

Whew. That was most definitely better. He looked less like a prince and more like your average rich noble. Although, if you were being honest, that wasn’t great either.

And so, he showed you into the museum with the hospitality of an attendee (he had worked there, after all). You felt like royalty. And Aeons, the lobby was absolutely perfect. It had an air of welcoming in it, and it smelled like history! Or dust. One of the two, you figured.

In true Underworld fashion, you waltzed up to the reception desk and immediately began making small talk. The blonde woman seemed startled but made nothing of it.

“How much for tickets?” You leaned your elbows on the counter. Her eyes landed on Gepard, who unbeknownst to you, was approaching from behind.

“Oh? Are you two here together?” She gasped. You whipped around, startled. “Volunteers are allowed to bring one guest for free. We appreciate your visit, Captain Gepard,”

She bowed her head respectfully and he nodded. He lightly placed a hand on your shoulder, which in turn, caused you to jump nearly half a foot in the air.

Great. Just great.

“Would you like to accompany me to the automaton section first?” He inquired. You weren’t certain, but you thought you heard a hint of shyness in his tone.

Like I’d run off without my tour guide in a building this big, you thought, glancing up at the huge arching ceilings in the main area.

“Sure! You’d better give me a tour worth a five-star review, Captain,” you chuckled.

That seemed to flip a switch. “I’ll do my utmost,” he declared.

He glanced down at you as you laughed lightly at his fiercely determined demeanor, feeling his cheeks warm at the sound of your voice. And with that, you began your tour through the museum.

First you stopped at the side parlor, which housed numerous automatons borrowed from the Robot Settlement. The models were polished and the descriptions were lengthy, which made you beam with pride. They sure knew how to treat the robots right.

Next you made your way to the main hall. It had an abundance of artifacts in sturdy glass cabinets, and beautifully intricate paintings that stole your breath away.

Gepard made sure to narrate every piece you seemed even moderately interested in. He loved how your eyes seemed to sparkle when he’d quote something he’d read in a history book, giving you a taste of the delves of information he kept stored in his brain as a Belobogian noble.

If it were up to him, you’d have access to every archive on the face of Jarilo-VI.

And you, you loved how he’d get so absorbed in explaining things that the words seemed to pour out of his mouth as he pointed at the displays. Even with the hum of the Geomarrow heaters and the constant chatter of visitors, his voice was the only one you seemed to hear.

Such simple joy it brought you. Here, staring at the photograph of the Eversummer Florists together, and chatting as if you weren’t two whole worlds apart. Gepard’s eyes took in every detail, every flower and every ray of sunlight trickling in through the windows.

You tore your gaze away from his profile to stare at your leather shoes just for a moment. Something vague flapped at the corners of your mind, but now really wasn’t the time to try and sort it out, you told yourself.

“Why don’t we tour the projector room next?” Gepard said, leaning down to look you in the eyes intently. You felt your heart leap at his voice.

Boy, were you in deep.

You mustered a smile as best you could, hoping it wasn’t too stiff.

“Sure! Lead the way,”

You had never seen such a wonderful piece of technology before. You both sat down on the velvet benches, entranced by the images flickering across the canvas.

This time, it was Gepard’s turn to stare. He’d seen it all before in his days as a volunteer. But seeing you gazing in awe at the projection as the light reflected in your eyes. That was something new.

Sitting there, shoulder to shoulder. Like equals. Watching the same screen, seeing the same things. It made his heart flutter like nothing ever had.

❆ — ❆ — ❆

“Wow. I am wiped!” you exclaimed after departing from the museum. “That was a great tour. Do you accept tips, Mister Volunteer Guide?” You grinned at him and Gepard let out an amused huff.

“I simply repeated what they taught me in primary school,”

“Yeah?” You inquired. “It was super immersive, though. I think you’d make a great history teacher,”

He went almost entirely pink at the compliment.

You chuckled to yourself. It wasn’t hard to make him blush, you thought.

“And also, what’s a primary school?” You piped up.

“Oh?” He paused. “It’s the first school kids attend on the surface. They learn to read, write, and all the other various things required of them,”

“Really? I remember Natasha teaching us how to read and write, but then it was straight to the mines for us,” you pondered, reminiscing back on your childhood in the Great Mine.

Suddenly, Gepard’s shoulder crashed into yours, sending you reeling into the Geomarrow heater to your left with a loud bang. You hurriedly grabbed it before it crashed to the ground.

Interestingly enough, the cause of this confusion was a small but speedy child, who had rammed into Gepard’s right leg by accident.

The child with short umber hair didn’t look back once after knocking into you, shouting “sorry,” and continuing to sprint, as a gang of ten or more children trampled after him. Their footsteps echoed along the walls of the lower floor of the Administrative district, which amplified them until it really did sound like a herd of animals.

All of the kids were carrying flags and pinwheels, staple items for the upcoming Solwarm festival, but they were wearing clothes belonging to both the Overworld and the Underworld.

This sent a jolt of surprise to your core. They played together so easily, it was like the past few decades hadn’t even happened.

“Little rascals,” you snickered, pulling away from the bench and brushing yourself off. You both stood and watched the children barrel down the road, knocking unsuspecting grown-ups into the next week. At one point, they stopped in a wide-open area and began to kick around a beanbag, their laughter ringing like bells.

Gepard’s brows furrowed, a pensive look appearing on his face.

“What’s on your mind?” You tilted your head at him with a smile on your lips.

His thoughtful expression had to have been one of your favorites.

He returned your gaze from where he was staring at the children chattering, running, and playing without a care in the world. Gepard felt the pang of a familiar memory in his chest.

“I was just considering… how nice it is to see relationships between the Overworld and the Underworld lessening in tension.”

He sighed. “I know it may sound silly, but some used to discourage interactions between the two,”

The look in Gepard’s eyes became a little more distant. “My father, for instance,”

You looked at him questioningly as he drew in a deep breath.

“I remember he once threw a vase at me in a fit of anger, after discovering I’d been visiting a group of kids from the mines,”

He glanced at the ground, looking quite like a lost puppy. “I had never heard the stories that they were telling before, so I just… kept going back to listen,”

You felt your mouth fall slightly ajar. He kept speaking.

“Thankfully, I didn’t get hurt that day, but the only reason is because my sister stepped in order to protect me,”

Your eyes widened in shock. “How— how old were you?”

“I believe I was five at the time,” Gepard stated. Almost like it was nothing.

“I think that’s where I gained some of my resolve,” he continued. “My own sister stepped forward to protect me without a thought for her own safety. So I grew up wanting to be strong, like her,”

Gepard curled his hand into a fist, letting memories of his childhood wash over him in his usual manner of acceptance. But when he looked back at you, only a glimpse of your face could be seen. You stared at the ground silently, and he could very well tell that your fists and jaw were clenched tight.

Waves of frustration at the realization crashed over you and your breath went hot. You stared back up at him, tears brimming in your eyes.

“He threw… a vase at you?” You said.

Hurt leaked into your voice against your will and you felt your heart had snapped in two. It seemed like both he and Serval harbored animosity toward their father.

And now you knew why. There was no way this was a one-time thing.

“That’s— wow, I don’t know what to say, Gepard,”

The captain showed little to no reaction. He looked back at the plaza with a soft exhale. One that exuded both sadness and gradual adjustment.

“He’s… always been that way. The Landaus, well, they all have their own sort of stubbornness in their values. His just tended to come out more,” he said.

“Stubborn, maybe.” You chewed on your bottom lip. “But he had no right to throw something at you. That could’ve really hurt a small child,”

You remembered being trapped in a landslide as a kid, and another child had kicked you in the face trying to escape. You were sent tumbling down the canyon where you fractured your shoulder and leg.

But to live with someone who, at any moment, could snap and hurt you? That was something else entirely.

Communities in the Underworld were based on a mutual network of trust. You couldn’t imagine having no one to turn to when you were scared. You stifled a sob.

“If I’m being honest with myself,” Gepard said softly, resting a hand on his chin. “It’s stuck with me well into my adult years. I haven’t quite dispelled all the preconceptions I’ve been raised with,”

“It doesn’t seem like he would have give you much room to, anyways,” you commented. “I think you two have both grown up to be wonderful people, even though you’ve faced so many hardships,”

He nodded solemnly, taking each and every word to heart. “But now, seeing these children at play, it gives me hope for the future… That Belobog truly can heal,”

It was at this moment you remembered, the captain was a kid too at one point. Behind the stoic exterior and steadfast resolve, there was a child that laughed and cried. One that had his own internal struggles, besides leading an army and reporting directly to the Supreme Guardian.

His childhood must have really had an impact on him. How would he have been different, if he had grown up in a happier home, you wondered. Despite the pain, you smiled.

Out of the blue, an idea popped into your brain.

“You know what I think, Gepard?” You chirped. “I think you just might be right!”

In a fit driven by inspiration, you leaped onto the nearest cafe table, offering your hand to your startled companion. He took it and carefully stepped onto the steel chair to join you.

“Overworld. Underworld. Why should it matter?” You shrugged confidently. “We’re here already, aren’t we? Look at us!”

You beamed at him and spun around with your arms outstretched on the wooden surface.

Turning to face him, you took both of his hands in yours. They felt warm. A soft kind of happiness filled Gepard’s eyes as he slotted his fingers in between your own.

“That’s right, we are.” He smiled gently.

You stood there for a moment, ignoring all the passerby and also the confused waitress calling for the shop owner.

If only you could take this sliver of time and put it in your pocket. You both held your breath, hoping that if you didn’t move, you could stay there until the world stood still.

Your eyes trailed to Gepard’s cheeks, which still had a slight blush to them, (maybe from the cold), down to the silver clasps that held his jacket together.

Glancing back up at his kind eyes, you felt something inside you chipping its way out.

—love you.

Your eyes went as round as the shield coins they exchanged at the Eversummer Florist’s.

What?

Oh no— oh no. Hold on. I knew something was, um, off, but is my brain playing tricks on me?

Was I just caught up in the moment? Why did I even think that?

Gepard stared at you quizzically, unaware of the mental battlefield you had just gotten your left arm blown off in.

Your heart began to race faster than one of those antique cars they had at the museum. His hands still clasped yours tightly, even as you tried to drop them gently.

You let out a strangled sound from your throat that sounded like “huegh” while steam poured out of your ears.

“(Y/N)?” He said, confused but seemingly unfazed.

You turned towards the closest brick wall, still holding his hands. Your eyes darted around like a cat after a loud disturbance.

No. I cant keep lying to myself like this.

You braced yourself for the realization as best you could.

I’m… in love with Gepard.

It still wasn’t enough. The sky and the ground seemed to reverse that very second as everything went upside down.

Still holding his hands, the first round of mental gymnastics began. You felt almost dizzy as thoughts flooded your brain, so you looked at your shoes to combat it.

(His were there too so it didn’t help much.)

Thoughts like:

Have… I been in love with him this whole time?

And, When did it start? And why? And, Did he notice? What if I’ve been super duper obvious??

And last but not least, Oh, Qlipoth. Please preserve my sanity—,

You blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“Sorry, I was just thinking about—,”

You were lifting your head again in order to make your statement seem sincere when, something that was crazier than the time you decided to go crowd surfing on a line of robots, popped into your mind.

Kiss him. A part of you whispered internally.

Every muscle in your body froze.

Do it. You know you want to, the voice spoke again.

Your eyes travelled slightly downward to his lips. All you had to do was—

You yanked your hands away from his harshly, opting to stare at his chest instead of his face in shame.

Oh. My. AEONS. You grabbed your face with both hands. Did I think that? Did I just think that??

No. I don’t think I did, you consoled yourself hurriedly. I think Serval developed a device that projects thoughts into people’s heads, and I’m her test subject!

Gepard made a slight movement. A jerk of the head, which was nothing noteworthy now that you look back on it, but with everything going on at that moment, it was enough to set you off.

You yelped. Just like a snow fox.

The next few moments were a blur. You had taken a step backward without realizing you were on a table, and the surface was in fact, finite, and ended up toppling onto the cold stone ground behind you.

You narrowly missed a stack of crates, which would have definitely left a mark, had you landed on one of the edges.

Gepard had practically leaped off the table to check if you were okay, but the shopkeeper had appeared, waving his broom furiously at the both of you.

Your companion tried his best to placate the man but he wasn’t having it.

In a rush of adrenaline, you scrambled to your feet and took grabbed Gepard’s hand, making a quick dash around the corner.

Hopefully the man wouldn’t recognize him. With this particular outfit, you thought Gepard might stand a chance.

In a cruel twist of fate, you both ended up huffing and puffing in a narrow alleyway behind a drugstore. All that dotted the area was a dumpster and a few posters advertising a play that was five months out of season.

“I think we lost him,” you panted, and promptly dissolved into giggles. “Did you see his face? He was all like—,” you cut off, waving your arms around with a wacky expression.

You wheezed once more and doubled over to hold your stomach as cackling erupted from your throat. Gepard was resting against the wall as well, while his chest heaved with effort.

“Ohhh!” You said, raising your head once more. “Now I remember what I was saying— I wanted to thank you for showing me around so often. I hope I’m not being too much of a burden,” you chuckled to yourself.

Gepard pulled the cape out from where it had been caught between his legs before he responded.

“Not in the slightest, (Y/N). I’m always happy to be of assistance,” he responded.

You wiped fake sweat off your brow (even though you really were sweating). “Sweet. I’m gonna go grab a drink from the vending machine, if ya don’t mind. Want one?”

“I’d appreciate it,”

You ran to the vending machine while Gepard waited, keeping a lookout while his back was pressed against the wall. He was certain his jacket would need a fair amount of dry cleaning afterward. You bounded back with two Strawberry Svarog sodas in hand and popped them open.

Gepard threw his head back and drank heartily. He let out a satisfied sigh after drinking the last drop, while you clutched your bottle tightly after only drinking it halfway.

He was almost seen. You were struck with this thought.

You grimaced. There’s no way the higher ups at the fort would appreciate whatever tomfoolery you were dragging him into.

I shouldn’t let these feelings— no, myself, get in his way.

You two were completely different people, after all. He had a job and a reputation to hold down. You were just a florist.

Maybe they’ll fade with time. You hoped. I guess… I just have to hold on until then,

Because… because there’s no way he’d feel that way about me.

For a split second, it seemed like all of your happiness had leaked out of you and disappeared down the storm drain.

You quickly swallowed the feelings that had formed a hard lump in your throat. Hoping to clear up the silence, you whipped towards Gepard with false cheer, in hopes he wouldn’t notice your mood had dampened.

“So, Captain—,”

His lip stiffened. Again with the “captain?”

“Didja hear the news about the observatory?” You chattered, kind of absentmindedly. “They’ve finally been able to repair the main telescope, and soon it’ll be open for public use again!”

“Is that so? The last time I used that telescope, I was just a boy,” he replied, slightly shocked.

“Yep! I’ve seen the sky before, but I’ve never seen it, like… up close. You know?”

He smiled as you spread your arms grandly.

“Do the guards have a telescope?” You asked with a curious look in your eyes.

Gepard thought for a second, before he replied, “I imagine we did, many hundreds of years ago. But I think the Fragmentum threat posed too great a danger on the surface that—,”

He glanced up at the small patch of sky unobscured by the walls of the alleyway. It sparkled in his eyes.

“—we could no longer afford to pay attention to the sky,”

You joined him in gazing at the clouds.

What a world that would be.

❆ — ❆ — ❆

Bonus Scene 1

After the events that had transpired, and you both had gone home, Gepard was now focused on unbuttoning the seemly endless number of clasps on his coat.

This clasp in particular was incredibly frustrating. Every time he’d get ahold of it, it would slip out from between his fingers.

The captain was considering giving up and just wearing the gaudy thing forever when numerous alerts from Serval went off on his phone.

From: Serval at 15:19

Serval: geppie

Serval: geppie

Serval: geppie

Serval: hey

Serval: howd it go

You: Well, thank you.

The captain pinched the bridge of his nose irritably. Couldn’t she have waited at least an hour or so before barging in on his affairs?

His phone dinged once more.

I suppose that’s a no.

From: Serval at 15:20

Serval: is that all?

Serval: You’re totally leaving something out

Serval: oops. im being nosy again.

Serval: Call me if u wanna talk, ok?

Gepard sighed, debated for a moment what he’d rather do, then finally gave in and hit the “call” button.

[“Geppie! You called!”] Serval’s voice crackled to life through the speaker.

He could hear her smile radiating through the phone. The corners of his lips rose slightly, much to his own surprise.

“Indeed I did, sister,”

Bonus Scene 2

Back at the scene on top of the cafe table!

To keep his hands from trembling, Gepard stayed completely and utterly still.

Probably too still.

Your hands were warm, so warm. Although standing on top of a table at a random cafe wasn’t the most romantic setting, he felt like he could bring you into his embrace right then and there.

Never before had he felt so lacking in control of his own desires. Something seemed to be tugging at your thoughts, as you were looking around anxiously.

Could it be you didn’t want him to be spotted because his face was so well known? Gepard could only guess what kind of thoughts were bouncing around your brain.

He watched as you looked, back up from your shoes, to his sheepish face. Your eyes were more beautiful than the clearest ice crystals. Warmer, too. His gaze softened as he saw your eyes flick toward his lips.

And then Gepard did the unthinkable.

He leaned in closer.

❆ — ❆ — ❆

That choice did not end well for either of you.

After checking if you had hit your head and ducking into the nearest alleyway, Gepard wanted to strangle himself mentally.

Why? Why had he made such a stupid decision?

Out of all the choices, that was the most reckless one.

He really should have known better. At this rate, he risked losing your friendship because of his own selfish feelings.

The captain rested his back against the wall in shame as you ran to get drinks from a vending machine.

A man of his caliber shouldn’t be making such mistakes. He should get his act together and court you correctly, for the love of Qlipoth.

But Aeons, he could only ask himself:

What if he had waited a single second longer?

2024 - Dreaming-of-Mossballs - Do not repost/translate without my permission - NO AI

💙 THANKS FOR READINF I LOVE YOU 💙

[myz-wykkyd]

My DMC oc and my take on Nero's mother/The lady in red. Her name is Julia De Bellona- an accomplished devil hunter and the former Supreme General of the Order of the Sword. Oh boy, this character, this character. Originally created her sometime when I was around 13 or 14 after playing the OG trilogy of games for the first time. She's changed a lot over the years and I honestly don't recall ever having worked this hard to develop a character before in my life LOL I haven't gotten everything written down yet, but I'm really proud of what I have managed to do.

Her wip TH profile can be found here. (Note- BIG WIP)

More Info under the cut. TW: for character death I guess?

NAME: Julia De Bellona

GENDER: Female (She/Her)

AGE: Early Twenties @ TOD | Immortal

SPECIES: Human (Formerly. See picture above.), Artificial Demon (Currently)

AFFILIATION: The Order of the Sword (Formerly) |

OCCUPATION: Holy Knight (Formerly) | Ruler of the Underworld (Currently)

RANK: Supreme General (Formerly) | Queen (Currently)

Prior to the rise of Sanctus, Julia's family, The Bellona, ruled over Fortuna as Feudal Lords- a position entrusted to them by Sparda himself prior to his disappearance. Throughout the generations, their primary goal was to protect humanity from demonic threats- which earned the love of their people and eventually led to the founding of The Order of the Sword; an organization of knights equipped and trained to defeat their evil foes. Julia was born from this long, accomplished line of devil hunters; but her abilities far exceeded those of her ancestors and allowed her to become one of the greatest devil hunters of her age- despite the fact that for most of her life, she was only a mere human.

Compassionate, capable, and determined, Julia rose quickly through the ranks of the Order and was the youngest Supreme General the Order of the Sword had ever seen- but she handled the position with a wisdom that surpassed her years. Under her careful guard, Fortuna was at peace for many years. But shortly after her promotion, she would meet a mysterious stranger who would change her life forever.

Vergil, one of the sons of Sparda, traveled to Fortuna seeking information on the Order and its former ruler in his quest for power. They begin in opposition, but the cold man would eventually win Julia’s heart. Though her compassion and plea to live a life of peace by her side appealed to her lover’s long buried humanity, Vergil chose to cast it and her aside to continue on his journey. Though heartbroken by the loss- she soon discovered that he had left a part of himself with her forever in the form of a child- A son she named Nero.

The following is a rough outline of the rest of her story.

A few months after Nero’s birth, Julia learns of the emergence of the Temen-ni-gru, one of the many gateways to the underworld sealed by Sparda after the war between humans and devils ended. Remembering Vergil’s quest for power, she leaves Fourtuna to stop him herself, but by the time she arrives in the city the events of DMC 3 have already unfolded. Wanting answers, Julia learns from several frightened locals that a white-haired man running a mysterious shop was responsible for ending the threat. Curious and slightly hopeful, she makes her way to the newly named “Devil May Cry” and meets Dante, Vergil’s twin brother, for the first time. 

Seeing the identical twin of her former lover is deeply off putting at first, but Dante doesn’t notice. He initially thinks she’s some kind of reporter when she asks for the story of what went on in the tower, and remains uncooperative until Julia successfully manages to bribe him with Pizza. He tells her everything but what she really wants to hear; but from their conversation Julia is able to piece together that the man who was responsible for the catastrophe died within the demon world.  

After leaving the shop Julia decides to investigate the ruins of the Temen-ni-gru. While walking amongst the debris, numb with grief, she is surprised to discover the Yamato amongst the wreckage. After pulling it free, she remains there for several hours debating with herself on the wisdom of her next decision, but she eventually gives into temptation and uses the Yamato to travel to the demon world to search for Vergil herself. 

Two long, brutal weeks full of fights and close calls with demons pass. Julia searched long and hard, but eventually, after she was unable to find any trace of him,  she was finally forced to admit Vergil was really gone. She retreats back into the human world using the Yamato and returns home.

Julia intermittently returns to the demon world to continue searching for Vergil. Almost a year later, she finds him (Or rather, finds Nelo Angelo) held captive and unresponsive. After a brief, but explosive battle with Mundas, Julia escapes with Vergil back to the human world. 

This encounter is witnessed by Machiavelli, the creator of Nelo Angelo, who is immediately intrigued that a human would risk her life for a demon.

Uncertain how to awaken him, she seeks out Agnus and asks for his aid in helping Vergil.

A/N: studying Vergil in this timeframe is what gives Angus the inspiration to build the false angels.

Agnus betrays Julia by turning in all his discoveries (her possession of the Yamato, her apparent relationship with a demon) over to Sanctus. Who takes it upon himself to execute the “traitor”. In a cruel twist of fate, he stabs her with Vergil’s own sword. The blade is shattered by a sudden, mysterious surge of power. My personal hc is that just as the sword recognized Nero, the sword recognized Julia, and it shattering was due to it being forced to do something that went against such an important connection.

A/N: Explaining both how the Order manages to get their hands on the sword and why it's broken.

As Julia lays dying, Nelo Angelo/Vergil finally awakens. Recognizing Julia on some level, he does not like what he sees, and slaughters Sanctus’ terrified guards. Forcing the Vicar and Angus to flee for their lives.  

With their enemies vanquished, Nelo Angelo/Vergil touches Julia’s face. But in that moment, Julia's thoughts are consumed by worry for Nero. And with her bit a strength, pleads with the Dark Knight to save their son before Sanctus finds him.

He obliged her last wish, taking an infant Nero from Julia’s home to the orphanage where Nero would grow up in.

A/N: Wrapped the crying boy up in his black cape before his departure. Staff of the orphanage would continue to call him Nero as a result.

Sanctus falsely frames Julia as a traitor to the people she had spent her life protecting- and Sanctus orders that all traces of her and her family be erased / never spoken of again. Explaining why she isn’t mentioned in game.

Julia’s body disappears afterwards/is never found by Sanctus. Debating, but my current thought is Nelo Angelo/Vergil took her to Machiavelli, whose spent the last 20+ years reviving her and turning her into the perfect demon. Knowing that she would be a Queen worth following.

A/N: Explaining that Machiavelli isn't dead, he's actually just been working on his Magnum opus this entire time.

After the events of DMC 5, Julia finally awakens and takes over the demon world in the absence of Urizen. She's lost most of her memory from her time as a human and doesn't realize how long it's been- but she recalls she has a son and that's in the human world, in a city called Fortuna, and is determined to find him-

[acourtofthought]

What do you think about people who say that Elucien doesn't have a good forshadowing since Elain only ignores Lucien. That if Elucien were endgame they would need development from scratch and that this doesn't match Sjm's writing?

I think these people are trying to convince themselves of something that has never been a problem for any author that has ever existed.

How many romance standalone books exist in this world? And how many of those books featured a main pairing that had yet to meet at the start of the book? Therefore their stories also started from scratch. Sarah has already written two love stories from scratch in a single book when she gave us TOD.

But that's not even what we're working with here. Elain and Lucien's bond snapped in book 2 and has been a plot point that has needed resolution ever since then. It's still an issue as of SF, clearly, since Az is so bothered by the scent of their bond. It's still an issue as of SF considering Cassian feels his heart tugging over Lucien's disappointment and longing.

Not to mention:

"I can hear your heart," she said quietly. "When I sleep," "I can hear your heart beating through the stone."

"It felt...strange," Elain breathed. "Like you pulled on a thread tied to a rib."

And when Lucien turned to signal to Rhys to go...He didn not glance back at Elain. Did not see the half step she took toward the stairs - as if she'd speak to him. Stop him.

"I'm fine," Elain said quietly. And then asked, noticing the gore on him, the torn clothes and still-bloody weapons, "Are you - ?"

"Well, I never want to fight in another battle as long as I live, but...yes, I'm in one piece." A faint smile bloomed on Elain's lips.

I began to walk away, letting my sisters decide to follow or remain - if they wanted a moment alone with that burnt grass.

Elain came.

Elain fell into step beside me, peering at Lucien. He noticed it.

Lucien shrugged. "First - here. To help. Then.." Another glance at Elain. "Who knows?"

I nudged Elain, who blinked at me, then blurted, "You could come to Velaris."

He saw all of it, but nodded graciously. "It would be my pleasure."

How is that "from scratch"?

Yes, Elain began ignoring Lucien in the novella and SF but clearly something happened between the end of ACOWAR and the beginning of FAS which caused her to withdraw that we still need answers on, just like we needed the reasons behind Nesta drawing away from Cassian. And if Sarah could have Nesta ready to die with Cassian in ACOWAR only to begin ignoring him in the novella, to begin sleeping with many other guys in the year that would follow, for Cassian to go to her apartment after she had just had sex with someone else at the start of SF, I can't believe people honestly think they have an argument when it comes to Elucien. Nesta gave up her virginity to someone after the events of ACOWAR, the most Elain did was share an almost kiss with one guy.

If people truly care about Sarah matching her own writing then I hope they're ready for a book where two Fated Mates end up together.