#To have simple and EASY happiness like this

[meazalykov]

mother who stepped up

stepmom!lena oberdorf x mom!reader

summary: lena accepts you, and the mini-you

warnings: one mention of death, nothing too impactful to the story though. very long fic

you’ve never been one for surprises. your life, at least recently, has been built on carefully crafted routines, ensuring that your two-year-old daughter, macy, is comfortable and happy. 

dating? it was something you thought would come much later—if at all. after coming to terms with your sexuality, you didn’t want to date unti you were reassured that you’d be with the right woman for your daughter. 

here you are, sitting across from lena oberdorf, a suggestion from your well-meaning friends, and even though you like her, there’s something you or your mutual friends haven’t told her yet.

everything had been going smoothly with lena from the start. she was charming, funny, flirtatious, and made you feel seen in ways you hadn’t felt in a long time.

you didn’t think you could get used to someone so effortlessly, but somehow, lena just fit into your life—except for that one secret you hadn’t yet shared.

you’re sitting across from lena at a cozy café, sipping your coffee and listening to her talk about her game against wolfsburg– a club she played many years ago. 

it’s easy to get lost in the sound of lena’s voice, the way her eyes light up when she talks about football. you nod along, smiling as she recounts a funny moment from practice. 

for a while, everything feels perfect—simple, like your lives are in sync. in the back of your mind, you know you will have to tell her about macy. the little mini-you that is currently coloring in her daycare class across munich.

the conversation shifts to lighter topics, and you pull out your phone to check a notification. 

you sit your phone flat on the table and as you’re about to lock the screen, lena leans in, catching a glimpse of the photo that displays on both your home and lock screen. 

your heart skips a beat when you realize what she’s seeing—macy, her chubby little cheeks, dimples, and wild curls staring back at you from the lock screen. 

lena’s brow furrows slightly, curiosity flickering across her face.

“aweee who’s that?” she asks, her tone casual but with a hint of intrigue.

you freeze for a second, unsure how to respond. 

here we go, you think, heart pounding. swallowing hard, you try to brush it off with a light chuckle. 

“oh, that’s little macy.”

lena tilts her head, staring at the screen for a moment longer before locking eyes with you. 

“macy?” she echoes. “is she… your niece or something? she looks just like you.” she smiles, clearly finding the resemblance cute.

you force a small smile, feeling your throat tighten. this is it—the moment you’ve been dreading. 

“uh, no… she’s not my niece.”

“oh,” lena says, looking at you, then back at the picture. 

“then, what, a cousin? a friend’s kid?”

you can see her mind working, trying to make sense of it. your fingers tighten around the edge of your phone, and you finally decide to rip the band-aid off.

“she’s my daughter….”

lena’s eyes widen, her gaze darting back to the screen, then to you. her lips part in surprise, but she doesn’t say anything right away. she stares at the lock screen as if seeing it for the first time, really seeing it.

“your daughter?” she repeats softly, almost like she’s processing the words.

you nod, feeling the anxiety rising in your chest. 

“yeah. she’s turning two in a few months. macy’s my little girl.”

for a long moment, lena just looks at the photo, her expression unreadable. you watch as her gaze flickers between the image of macy and you, comparing the two of you. 

“she… she looks just like you,” lena murmurs, her voice almost in awe. 

“i thought she was you for a second, like, as a baby.”

you let out a small, nervous laugh, trying to keep the mood light despite the tension knotting in your stomach. 

“yeah, she’s basically my mini-me. she’s got my nose and everything.”

lena doesn’t seem to hear your attempt at humor. instead, her brow furrows deeper as she studies the photo. 

“wait, she’s… really your daughter? like, you have a kid?”

you bite your lip, feeling the weight of the moment settle over you. 

“yeah, she’s mine. i know i should’ve told you sooner, but…” you trail off, not knowing how to explain the complexity of it all.

“but why didn’t you?” lena asks, her tone still soft, but there’s something raw in her voice—an undercurrent of emotion that you can’t quite place.

you glance down at your coffee, swirling it absentmindedly. “i didn’t know how,” you admit. 

“i didn’t want to scare you off. most people aren’t exactly thrilled about dating someone with a kid.”

lena leans back in her chair, processing what you’ve said. “you thought i’d be scared off because you’re a mom?”

you shrug, feeling a little defensive but mostly scared. “it’s happened before,” you say quietly. 

“people hear ‘single mom,’ and they run for the hills. i just… didn’t want that to happen again.”

lena is quiet for a moment, her eyes still on the picture of macy. she seems to be absorbing everything, and you can’t help but hold your breath, waiting for her to say something—anything.

“is the father around?” lena says her thoughts out loud. 

“oh no no no. um– he didn’t want anything to do with macy. he also passed away shortly after mae turned one. her father and i were never together or even had feelings for eachother– it was just um..” you trail.

“i’m very sorry about that.” lena says, looking up at you before looking back to the photo of your little daughter. 

“oh no don’t apologize.” you say.

there's a pause for a few minutes. its clear that you wanted to switch the topic away from macy’s biological father, who wanted nothing to do with her before his passing anyways. 

lena looks up at you, giving your phone back with her expression softening. 

“you’d thought i’d run?” lena asks, a small, incredulous smile playing on her lips. 

“because of this? because of her?”

you shrug again, not trusting yourself to speak. all your worst fears are bubbling to the surface, and you can’t shake the feeling that this might be the moment it all falls apart.

lena reaches across the table, taking your hand gently in hers. 

“y/n, she’s beautiful,” she says, her voice sincere. “i mean, she really is a little version of you.”

you blink, the words not sinking in right away. “you… you’re not mad?” you ask, your voice trembling just slightly.

lena shakes her head, squeezing your hand. “no, i’m not mad. i just… wish you’d told me sooner. i know we’ve only been official for a week but–” she pauses, her thumb brushing over your knuckles. 

“i get why you didn’t, but… i’m not going anywhere. i like you. and now that i know about macy… i like her too. even if we haven’t met yet.”

the relief that washes over you is almost overwhelming, and you feel your eyes welling up. you’ve been bracing yourself for rejection, for lena to tell you this was too much for her. 

though here she is, sitting across from you, holding your hand, and telling you that she’s not going anywhere.

“you’re really okay with this?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

“more than okay,” lena says, her voice firm but kind. 

“you’re a mom. that’s a part of who you are, and that’s okay with me.”

you let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, your heart finally starting to settle. 

“thank you,” you whisper, blinking back the tears. “you don’t know how much that means to me coming from you.”

lena smiles, giving your hand one last squeeze before letting go. “so, when do i get to meet this little mini-you?” she asks with a teasing grin.

you chuckle softly, wiping at the corner of your eye. “soon. i just… didn’t want to spring her on you right away.”

“well, now that i know about her,” lena says, leaning back with a playful smirk, “i feel like i’m the one being kept a secret from macy.”

you laugh, the tension between you finally breaking. “i guess we’ll have to fix that soon.”

lena grins, taking another sip of her coffee. “i’m looking forward to it.”

the next day– lena doesn’t text much. you know that she is busy training at bayern but anxiety consumes you. 

your thoughts spiral. maybe she changed her mind and realized that it was too much for her. maybe she’s having second thoughts. 

by mid-afternoon, you’re glued to your phone while macy is with her aunt (your sister), checking for any sign from her. 

nothing comes, and your heart sinks.

as you’re picking macy up from your sisters, your phone finally buzzes. lena’s name flashes across the screen, and you almost drop your keys in your hurry to check it.

lena: hey, can we talk later? i’ve been thinking a lot.

you stare at the message, panic clawing at your chest. thinking doesn’t sound good. you force yourself to respond.

you: sure. what time?

the reply is almost instant. 

lena: i can come over tonight?

you hesitate. having her over… that means she’ll meet macy, and you’re not sure if you’re ready for that yet. you also know you can’t keep her at arm’s length forever. you type back quickly.

you: yes, come at 7.

you spend the rest of the afternoon trying not to overthink it. 

as soon as macy is fed and bathed, your nerves start creeping back. you’re pacing the living room, glancing at the clock, when the doorbell rings.

macy, sitting on the couch with her stuffed miffy bunny and fluffy blanket, perks up. 

“mama, door!”

you smile, ruffling her hair. 

“stay here, baby,” you say softly, walking to the door. 

you open it, and there she is—lena, standing on your doorstep wearing a black outfit along with a grey beanie, looking as unsure as you feel.

“hey,” she says, giving you a small smile.

“hey,” you reply, stepping aside to let her in. you’re about to close the door when macy toddles over, clutching her miffy bunny in her small hands. lena’s eyes immediately land on her, and she smiles.

“this must be macy,” lena says, her tone soft and warm.

you nod, watching as macy stares up at lena with her wide (reader’s color) eyes. 

“yeah, this is her.”

lena crouches down to macy’s level, holding out her hand. “hey, macy. i’m lena.”

macy looks at you for reassurance before shyly reaching out to shake lena’s hand. 

“miffy bunny,” she says, showing off her stuffed toy.

lena chuckles softly. “that’s a cool bunny.”

you watch the exchange, your heart swelling with something you hadn’t expected. lena looks so natural with macy, and it’s a sight you weren’t prepared for. 

you clear your throat, trying to shake off the wave of emotion.

“so, um, you said you wanted to talk?” you ask, motioning for lena to follow you to the couch.

she nods, standing up and giving macy one last smile before sitting beside you. macy toddles back to the couch, climbing up and sitting between your legs, still clutching her bunny as her small arms hug your waist.

“yeah,” lena says, glancing between you and macy. “i’ve been thinking a lot since last night.”

you nod slowly, waiting for the bomb to drop.

“i know this is a lot,” she continues, her voice gentle but steady. 

“and i understand if you’re worried about how i’ll fit into your life, into macy’s life, but… i want to try.”

you blink, taken aback. “you do?”

lena nods, reaching out to gently take your hand. 

“yeah. i mean, i didn’t expect this either, but i really like you, y/n. and if macy’s a part of your life, then i want to be a part of that too.”

you sit back, still reeling from the way the conversation unfolded. the tension that had knotted up your stomach starts to loosen, but you can’t help feeling the need to set some boundaries—just to be sure lena knows what this really means. 

it’s too early in the relationship to assume anything, and you don’t want to put any pressure on her, especially when it comes to macy.

taking a deep breath, you meet lena’s eyes. 

“i just want to be clear about something,” you say softly. 

“i don’t expect anything from you when it comes to macy. you’re not obligated to her, and i’d never force any duties on you. it’s still really early in our relationship, and i don’t want you to feel like you have to step into a role you’re not ready for. if you just want to date me, that’s okay. i mean it. however i just want you to understand that in a case between you vs. macy– i’ll always choose macy.”

lena watches you closely, her brow furrowing slightly as she listens. she leans forward, resting her arms on the table, and shakes her head gently. 

“y/n, you don’t have to put up walls.”

you bite your lip, feeling the weight of her gaze. “i’m not putting up walls,” you explain quietly. 

“i just… i want to be fair. macy’s is the biggest part of my life, but she’s my responsibility, not yours. i don’t want you to feel like you have to take on so much at once. i don’t want you to feel trapped.”

lena sits back in her chair, exhaling slowly. her eyes soften as she takes in your words. 

“first of all, macy isn’t a trap,” she says firmly, her tone leaving no room for doubt. 

“she’s your daughter. i don’t see that as something to run from.”

your heart stumbles at her words, but you try to stay grounded. “but it’s still a lot for you,” you press gently. 

“being with me means being with macy too, and that’s a lot to ask of anyone. especially this soon.”

lena reaches across the table again, her hand finding yours, warm and steady. “i get what you’re saying,” she begins, her voice calm but sincere. 

“and i appreciate that you don’t want to rush things or put pressure on me. but, y/n, macy is a part of you. she’s part of your life, and if i want to be with you, that means i’m choosing to include her too.”

she squeezes your hand, her eyes locked on yours. “i’m not saying i’m trying to be her mom right away, or that i know how all of this is supposed to work. but i want to figure it out. because macy is important to you, and that makes her important to me.”

your heart swells, and you can feel the tears prickling at the corners of your eyes again. you hadn’t expected this, not so soon, and certainly not with such certainty in her voice. 

it’s like lena had already made the decision in her heart before you even started this conversation.

you blink back the tears, swallowing hard as you nod. “i�� i didn’t know if you’d feel that way.”

“of course i do,” lena says softly, her thumb gently brushing the back of your hand. 

“i’m not scared off by you being a mom, y/n. it doesn’t make me want this any less.” 

you take a shaky breath, overwhelmed by the depth of her words. “i’ve never had anyone say that to me before,” you admit, your voice barely a whisper. 

“it’s always been the reason people walk away.”

lena’s eyes soften even more, and she moves her chair closer to you, her hand never leaving yours. “well, i’m not them,” she says simply, her voice steady and sure. “i’m here. and i’m not going anywhere.”

the emotions well up in you, and for a moment, you’re speechless. you look down at your joined hands, feeling the weight of the moment settle over you. she’s serious. she’s really serious.

“thank you,” you finally whisper, your voice thick with emotion. “thank you for… for staying.”

lena smiles, leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your temple.

macy, oblivious to the weight of the conversation, leans against your arm, yawning as she starts to doze off. 

you glance down at her, then back at lena, your heart full in a way you hadn’t felt in a long time.

from that moment on, things between you and lena shift. she starts coming over more, spending time not just with you but with macy too. 

at first, macy is a little shy around her, but lena is patient, never pushing too hard, just gently easing her way into your daughter’s life. it doesn’t take long before macy is running to the door to greet lena with a grin, her little arms reaching up for a hug.

the first time macy calls her "obi”,  your heart skips a beat. it's a simple moment—you're all sitting on the floor of your living room, surrounded by toys, when macy tugs on lena's sleeve, her big eyes looking up at her expectantly.

"obi, play?" she asks, holding out a mermaid barbie.

lena grins, taking the truck from macy. "of course liebe."

watching them together, you can't help but smile. it’s becoming clearer each day—lena’s not just here for you. 

she’s here for macy too. sometimes you joke that she is only here for macy.

as the years goes by, lena becomes more and more involved in your life. she starts joining you for bedtime routines, helping with bath time, reading macy her favorite stories as she grows older. 

after lena, macy, and you move into an apartment together— lena is for the tantrums, the messy dinners, the sleepless nights. sometimes, she will take the initiative so you can rest. the more time she spends with macy, the more it feels like she belongs in your little family.

three years after the important conversation, your life with lena feels like a dream. 

macy is five now, full of energy and curiosity, and lena has been there for all of it—every scraped knee, every preschool recital, every bedtime story. your home is filled with laughter and warmth, the life you never imagined you’d have when you were raising macy on your own. 

now, as you sit together on the couch, macy fast asleep in her room, lena leans into you, her fingers tracing patterns on your hand. she’s quiet, more thoughtful than usual, and you can sense something’s on her mind. she glances at the engagement ring on your finger, the same ring you’ve been admiring for months now, and then turns to you with a serious expression.

“i was thinking,” lena says quietly, her voice soft in the dim light.

“about what?” you ask, turning to look at her.

she hesitates for a moment, her hand pausing on your arm. “about macy. and… about us.”

your heart skips a beat, but you keep your voice steady. “what about us?”

“i know it’s still early but…” she says, her voice careful, 

you blink, processing her words. “but…?”

she takes a deep breath. “once we get married i’ll be macy’s stepmom. something i’ve been thinking about for a while. however i don’t want to wait until then. i want to be a mom to macy. if you’ll let me.”

the weight of her words settles over you, and for a moment, you’re speechless. you’d always hoped, deep down, that lena would want to be a part of macy’s life, but hearing her say it out loud—it feels overwhelming in the best possible way.

“i know i’m not her biological mom, and i’ll never try to replace that, but… i love her, y/n. i love both of you. and if you’re ready for that, i’d like to be her mom too.”

the tears you’ve been holding back finally spill over, and you reach up to cup her face, your thumb brushing against her cheek. “we’d love that, obi.” you whisper. “we’d love that.” you repeat in awe.

when macy starts calling her “mama lena,” after she turns six– your heart nearly bursts with love.

macy is seven now, and the bond between her and lena has only grown stronger over the years. she clings to lena in a way that sometimes surprises you—like she’s always seeking her approval or comfort. 

it’s been that way ever since lena officially adopted her after turning thirty-one, and you and lena got married. 

you remember that day so vividly, the moment the judge declared that lena was now macy’s legal mother. the joy on lena’s face, the way macy had leaped into her arms, calling her “mama” with such pure excitement, filled your heart with pride and love.

it wasn’t long after when lena got the call—an offer from chelsea. it was a huge opportunity, one that meant she’d be competing in the women’s super league. after a lot of late-night talks and some serious decision-making, lena accepted the offer, which meant the three of you were moving to london. 

the change was exciting, something fresh and new for all of you. macy was thrilled at the idea of living in a new city, and as for you, the thought of starting a new chapter together made you incredibly happy.

in london, lena is the person macy runs to for almost everything. scraped knees, homework help, even just to ask if she can have a snack—lena is her go-to. most days, it fills you with happiness to see them so close, to know that macy has someone who loves her so much. 

sometimes, like today, you can’t help but feel a little sting.

you’d been in the middle of getting macy ready for school. she was in a hurry as usual, fidgeting in her seat while you knelt to help her tie her shoes. 

before you could finish, she pulled her foot away, laughing. “no, no, mama lena does it better!” she giggled, her bright smile lighting up her face.

you laughed too, even though the words pricked at your heart. “oh, really?” you teased, raising an eyebrow.

“guess i’ll need to practice, huh?”

macy just grinned, her curls bouncing as she wiggled her toes. “yeah, you should! don’t worry, you’re still good at other stuff!”

you smiled, ruffling her hair. “well, i’m glad i’m still useful for something.”

she giggled again, completely unaware of how her innocent words had stirred something in you. 

you shoved the feeling aside quickly, focusing instead on making her laugh as you pretended to dramatically fumble with her shoes. her laughter filled the room, her curls tumbling down her back as she leaned forward in her chair, watching you with bright eyes. 

it wasn’t until you were dropping her off at school that the feeling crept back in, like a quiet ache in the pit of your stomach.

it wasn’t that you were jealous—at least, you didn’t think you were. you loved that macy and lena were so close. you’d always hoped that one day macy would have a strong bond with lena, and seeing it unfold so naturally had been like a dream come true. 

still, moments like this made you wonder if you were slowly being edged out, if macy was starting to see lena as the “cool” mom while you were just… the other one that happened to look like her.

you tried not to dwell on it too much. lena had been nothing but supportive, always making sure you knew how important you were to both of them. and really, you were happy. 

lena had embraced being a mother to macy in every way—going to parent-teacher conferences, staying up late to help with school projects, even helping macy with her football in-between training at chelsea. 

that was another thing: football.

macy had recently started showing a serious interest in the sport, much to lena’s delight. she idolized her mama, always asking about drills and tactics, begging to go to practice with her. 

one afternoon, after watching one of lena’s games, macy had turned to you both, her eyes wide with excitement. 

“i want to play football too!” she’d said, bouncing on her toes.

lena’s face had lit up with pride. “you do, huh? well, we can definitely make that happen.”

since then, lena had been working on getting macy into training, talking to coaches and setting up practice sessions in your backyard. you’d watch them sometimes, lena patiently teaching macy how to pass the ball, how to position herself. 

the way macy looked up at lena, so full of admiration, always made you smile. you were thrilled that your daughter had someone like lena to look up to, someone who could teach her the things you never could.

and yet, in the quieter moments, when macy would run to lena after a long day, her arms wrapping tightly around her waist, you couldn’t help but feel a tiny pang of sadness. it wasn’t that macy didn’t love you—she did, of course.

there was something different about the way she clung to lena, like lena was her whole world. you couldn’t blame her. lena was a natural with her, always knowing just the right thing to say or do to make macy feel safe and loved.

you’d catch yourself watching them sometimes, a soft smile on your face as you listened to their conversations, the easy way they communicated without needing to say much. you’d hide your feelings behind a joke, like the time macy had joked about lena being better at making breakfast, and you’d playfully said, “well, guess i’ll just stick to making the coffee then.” macy had laughed, and you’d felt the sting lessen, pushing it to the back of your mind.

around this time, you and lena had started talking more seriously about having another child. 

this time, you would carry, using lena’s egg along with a donor. you’d been through a few consultations, and after what felt like a whirlwind of planning and waiting, the IVF procedure was finally successful. 

you were pregnant with another little girl.

the joy that filled your heart was indescribable. the idea of adding to your family, of giving macy a sibling, was something you’d dreamed about for so long. and now, with the news confirmed, it was time to tell macy. 

you weren’t sure how she’d react—she’d always been so used to being the only one, the center of attention. but you were hopeful that she’d be excited.

one evening, you and lena sat macy down, her favorite blanket draped over her lap as she snuggled on the couch between you. lena’s arm was around your shoulders, her hand resting gently on your belly, already slightly swollen with the new life growing inside.

“munchkin,” lena said softly, looking at macy with a warm smile. “we have some big news for you.”

macy looked up, her curiosity piqued.

“what is it?”

you took a deep breath, smiling as you leaned forward a little. “you’re going to be a big sister, sweetheart.”

macy’s eyes widened, and for a moment, she just stared at you, her mind clearly racing to process what you’d said. 

“a big sister?” she repeated, her voice uncertain.

“that’s right,” lena added, squeezing your shoulder gently. “there’s a baby in here.” she gestured to your belly. “a little sister for you.”

macy’s face scrunched up, her expression a mix of confusion and hesitation. “but… i like being the only one,” she admitted, her voice small.

you shared a glance with lena, both of you understanding her hesitation. “we know, sweetheart,” you said gently. 

“and you’ll always be our first, our special girl. but having a sister means you’ll have someone to play with, someone who’ll look up to you, someone who’ll need your help.”

macy was quiet for a moment, clearly thinking about what you’d said. her little fingers twisted in the edge of her blanket, her brow furrowed as she processed the news. you could tell she wasn’t sure how to feel.

“and you’ll still get to do everything you love,” lena added. “football, school, everything. this just means there will be more love in the house. and maybe, when she’s old enough, you can teach her some football moves.”

macy’s eyes brightened a little at that, the idea of teaching someone something she loved appealing to her. “i get to teach her football?”

you smiled, nodding. “absolutely. you’re going to be the best big sister ever.”

slowly, macy’s frown faded, replaced by a tentative smile. “okay,” she said, her voice soft but a little more certain. 

“i’ll be the best big sister ever. but only if i get to teach her football.”

lena laughed, pulling macy into a tight hug. “deal.”

and just like that, your family took another step forward, your heart full of love as you prepared for the next chapter in your lives—together.

masterlist

[insidekatmind]

A sweet Christmas- Jobe Bellingham

It’s Christmas Eve, and the crisp December air fills your house. Outside, snow falls slowly, covering every corner with a soft, white blanket. Inside, the atmosphere is warm and cozy, illuminated by Christmas lights sparkling in every corner of the room. A large Christmas tree is decorated with golden baubles, red ribbons, and a golden star shining at the top. Candles on the table glow gently, and Christmas music plays softly in the background, creating the perfect ambiance.

Jobe Bellingham, your boyfriend, is in the kitchen, busy preparing something special for you. Despite being used to the hectic pace of life between training and matches, today he has decided to spend every moment with you, away from the spotlight, to experience Christmas in a simple and authentic way.

When you enter the kitchen, you find him focused on making gingerbread cookies, but with that concentrated expression, it seems like he's preparing something much more complex.

“What are you doing, love?” you ask, smiling sweetly.

He looks up and smiles back at you with his usual shy yet affectionate grin. "I’m trying to make Christmas cookies. I watched a YouTube video, and it looked easy... but it’s not."

You approach him and take his hand, careful not to get flour all over yourself. "Can I help you?"

Jobe smiles, clearly delighted to have you there with him, even though he's trying to make something simple. "Yes, please. I need help so I don't make a mess."

Together, you start mixing the ingredients, laughing when a little flour ends up on you. Jobe can't stop laughing when a bit of butter gets stuck in your hair. "Look what you made me do," he says, but with such sweetness that you feel loved in every little gesture.

When the cookies are finally ready to bake, he gives you a gentle caress on your cheek. "Thanks for helping me," he murmurs, his gaze speaking volumes about how much he appreciates these small moments you share.

You take a break while the cookies bake, and together you curl up on the couch, wrapped in a warm blanket. Jobe holds you close, and you snuggle against him, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. His hand finds yours, and without saying a word, he takes it, a smile on his face that makes your heart flutter.

"I like spending Christmas like this," he says, his voice soft and sincere. "With you, away from everything."

"Me too," you reply, resting your head on his shoulder. "It’s perfect."

The cookies are ready, and when you taste them together, you realize they're delicious, even though they aren’t perfect like the ones you’d find at a bakery. But what makes that moment special is that you’re living it with him.

The evening continues with laughter, gift exchanges, and sweet caresses. Every now and then, Jobe looks at you with a smile he can’t hide, as if trying to memorize every single moment of that night. When the gifts are unwrapped, Jobe looks at you with eyes full of affection and gives you a small but meaningful box.

“Open it,” he says, giving you a playful smile.

Inside, there's a necklace with a star-shaped pendant that sparkles in the candlelight. Your heart tightens as you look at the gift, and then you lift your eyes to him. "Jobe, it's beautiful..."

He smiles, taking your hand. "I wanted to give you something that would remind you how special you are to me. Every star in the sky... is for you."

His words are full of emotion, and you realize that there’s nothing more beautiful than spending Christmas with him. His sweetness, his presence, everything feels perfect.

After dinner, he pulls you into his arms and kisses your forehead. "Merry Christmas, my love."

"Merry Christmas, Jobe," you reply, your heart beating faster. And in that moment, all you want is to keep living these small moments of happiness, with him, forever.

[kkoffin]

Don't you realize that male and female are social constructs? They're ideas. Scientists don't even believe biological sex is a thing anymore, we're all just people. Gender is almost like religion, it can change, some people are really sure on theirs and others aren't, forcing someone into one is always wrong. Do you know why you're cis? Do you ever think about the possibility that you're not, about what it would be like to be something other then what you were born as. Would you still feel like a woman if you didn't have a womb, if you didn't have breasts or genitals or estrogen? It was a combination of contemplating these things, and mystical experiences with the goddess Hel that got me to realize I was agender. I thought I would lose certain things when becoming nonbinary and genderless, but I didn't. I don't know about you, but know you can be happy as an enby or a boy, you can be loved, and cherished and comforted as an enby or as a boy. I don't know if you're nonbinary like I am. You might find you really do identify with womanhood, but if you do really want to be a woman, then know that that's the same feeling amab women have. I know what it's like to think the way you do, I used to think that way, and I've had bad experiences with men and with the expectations society has for people with bodies like mine. But you don't have to take your pain and call it womanhood.

I wouldn't usually respond to this kind of ask, since if begins with the premise that "sex isnt real", and I really don't bother arguing with that level of disconnect from reality, but this ask was so absurd in so many parts that I feel the need.

I want dear asker to know, this is not intended for you to reply to if your response will simply deny the existence of sex and lie about science. If you do reply with something I don't consider constructive for my blog to reply to, I will delete it, probably not read it the full way through, and spend my time on something more productive than arguing simple lies and misinformation. I only reply to this ask as it provides a brilliant example of the absurd arguments TRAs base their belief system on, and how easy it is to disprove, how truly "belief" based it is, much like a religion(/cult). + I might hyperlink it as an example of my beliefs in my pinned post at a later date.

Scientists don't even believe biological sex is a thing anymore, we're all just people.

I would love to see a source stating that majority, or even a considerable minority, even more than 1% of credible scientists globally don't "believe" in biological sex. Maybe you can find one person with a biology degree who said it, but this is simply not real. It's a ridiculous argument, and it's hardly worth wasting my time on, so I won't.

Gender is almost like religion

Sure is! We'll see more of that in a minute. I thought we stopped forcing others to participate in our religion, and calling for their deaths and trying to silence them for not being part of it and affirming our unreal beliefs in the west in like. the 1900s? Thought we knew this was a bad thing.

If gender is like a religion why on earth are you so insistent that I must believe in it? As you'll see in later paragraphs, I simply don't. I sure believe others believe in it, and force it on me, and expect things from be based on it, but I do not believe its real, as in has any basis in reality. Same way I don't believe an Abrahamic god is real, and yet if i were in some countries, I would be forced to participate and be treated a certain way because of it.

Do you know why you're cis? Do you ever think about the possibility that you're not

I'm detrans. I realized that there's nothing wrong with being a woman, and it's not something he/him pronouns in bio will change, as I will explore later.

what it would be like to be something other then what you were born as. Would you still feel like a woman if you didn't have a womb, if you didn't have breasts or genitals or estrogen?

Say, hypothetically, I were born with a penis and without a womb etc. If I still "felt like a woman" as you put it - I assume you mean if I still felt feminine, I would still wear dresses and grow my hair long. That wouldn't magically make me female. I would be a feminine man. Just as I'm currently a masculine woman. How I present myself, masculine or feminine, and how I care about how others perceive me has nothing to do with my biological sex. I present how I want, regardless of genitals, but being feminine does not make someone female, vice versa.

If you don't mean to say "feeling like a woman" is feeling feminine, then no. if I were born with a penis and without a womb, I would not "feel like a woman", because woman is not a feeling, it's a simple fact and an experience that only an adult human female can have. Men cannot "feel" like women. If I were born with a penis and XY chromosomes I could only "feel" like a man, same way a white person cannot "feel" like a POC.

mystical experiences with the goddess Hel

I'm respectful and may occasionally dabble in witchcraft/wicca/pagan stuff, but - and I cannot believe I have to say this in the year of our lord 2024. it's not the 1700s anymore, we should be past this - your "mystical experiences" do not surpass reality, a need to recognize and destroy sex-based oppression, and is not justification for pushing an ideology.

got me to realize I was agender. I thought I would lose certain things when becoming nonbinary and genderless, but I didn't. I don't know about you, but know you can be happy as an enby or a boy, you can be loved, and cherished and comforted as an enby or as a boy. I don't know if you're nonbinary like I am.

Again, I'm detrans. I tried genderfluid, I tried being a "boy", I tried being non-binary. None let me escape patriarchy, and I realized that no matter what pronouns in my bio, no matter how I cut my hair, no matter what surgeries I got or hormones I took, it would not make me not female. I realized that if I were alone in the woods, with nothing but trees and birds and rivers, It would not matter my genitals, or what clothes I wear, or anything. That scenario, alone with nature, is the only place/time women can escape patriarchy, and the moment I did, it didn't matter if I was a "girl" or a "boy". Sex is real, and is only a biological aspect of your body. It's breasts or periods or a lower internal body temperature, and although sometimes inconvenient, it doesn't matter. You talk about "forcing someone to be a certain gender", I don't force anyone into a "gender", I don't believe in gender. I think gender should be abolished. I do not have a "gender", I am female, and I am treated by patriarchy as such, as they think a female person must act a certain way. That's gender. I want my daughters and granddaughters to be free from that, thus why I pursue women's liberation.

Side note, this paragraph is so. creepy to say to a detrans person. cult-like. sorry. "you will be loved as a boy/enby" "you will be cherished" "you wont lose anything" okay yeah i'm not interested, please leave me alone now. You sound like muslim preachers in my dms telling me to reconvert.

You might find you really do identify with womanhood, but if you do really want to be a woman, then know that that's the same feeling amab women have.

As previously stated, I do not "identify" with womanhood. I experience it. I do not "want" to be a woman. I am. I don't care if I wasn't. It's only a fact about myself, again. same way POC do not "identify" with or "want" to be POC, they just are.

I know what it's like to think the way you do, I used to think that way

Very obviously, you do not, considering you keep assuming I either do or don't "identify" with being a woman. You very clearly do not understand the point behind our ideology. Gender is not real. Sex is. Again, I'm not arguing with "sex isn't real" because its so beyond stupid and anti-intellectual, and anyone who touches grass would realize that. Females carry a large, immobile gamete, men carry small, mobile gametes. these are the two sexes, and when each gametes interact with one another, we reproduce, and the baby is carried by the female. Yes, some animals have it slightly different, that doesn't mean it's not real in both them and humans. Yes, intersex people exist, they have a disorder regarding their sex development, but are still one of either sex. Yes, you can be unable to reproduce, that doesn't mean you aren't still one of either sex. None of these things disqualify the existence of two sexes being needed to reproduce in humans.

Further, women did not suffer for tens of thousands of generations for you to simply say they don't exist. To deny the existence of sex is to deny sex-based oppression. Men have known what women are for hundreds of thousands of years, and that's why we haven't been able to vote, we've been raped and sold as sex slaves, we've been told we are less intelligent, we've been genially mutilated for male pleasure, etc etc etc. I am not defining "womanhood" by our suffering, I am simply stating examples of oppression against women. These women were not treated like this because they "felt" female, or because they "identified" as female. They were abused simply because they are female. Women tried to escape it by acting like men countless times through history, and it only made men more angry, as we were leaving our "place", that being socially constructed "gender"/femininity, and we were bastardizing the male sex by acting like or pretending to be part of it. Those women did not "act like men" because they were trans, they did it to escape the oppression people of the female sex face, which you seem to love to deny.

I've had bad experiences with men and with the expectations society has for people with bodies like mine. But you don't have to take your pain and call it womanhood.

See: last paragraph

Being a woman is not defined by pain, it's defined by existence as an adult human female - the lack of a Y chromosome, or being of the sex with a large gamete. Female is only one word in that. Women are also adults, and most of all, human. That's most of the experience. Our femaleness does play a huge part on how society treats us, that's gender, and it plays a small part on our experience as a living creature. I do not mind that experience as a living creature, I do mind gender. I want to abolish it. I do not want to be treated differently to a man based on something which has no material relation to our differences.

Quite simply put, my desire to free the world of "gender" as a social construct, and my desire to fight against it overrides my (futile) desire to simply run away from it, and A) still suffer, B) leave other women behind. Pronouns, short hair, "passing" etc will not escape patriarchy. Abolish patriarchy. Abolish gender.

and sex is real.

[tactical-jellyfish]

Tf 141 with an s/o who loves fiber arts!

Word count= roughly 1,750

Warnings: No! Just fluff with the lads :) Enjoy (but inly if you wanna)!!!

Kyle, who really never thought that knitting would be this hard, considering how much you raved about it keeping you both calm and properly stimulated. Now, he sits by your side on the living room floor, shakily holding two bamboo needles in his hands and trying to hold the "working yarn" (the yarn attached to the ball, apparently) the right way as you tenderly lecture him for being a dunce. "No, baby, you need to get through the stitch first before you yarn over-" Your voice is so pretty like that, trying to steer him from making another weird-looking hole for no real reason, but Kyle just whines again as you take the swatch into your own hands, finish off the whole row like some magic creature of the yarn and thread.

"You said that this was supposed to be easy, luvie." He whines into the crook of your neck, having loosely wound himself around your side as you showed him exactly what to do for the fourth time this hour. Some part of him loves the unfailing tenderness, the softness of your voice and the way you poorly hide the fact that you're laughing at him under your breath. "Sorry, i just thought-" There's a snort from your lips as giggles envelop you, your smile turns wide. Kyle's heart melts a little in his chest "I just thought you'd be better at this-"

Kyle gasps in mock offense, before pushing the needles to the floor, already planning his revenge for that little slight. "Say that one more time, and I'll give yer little magic sticks to my nieces and tell 'em they're swords." He revels in the shocked gasp you give, and grins as you bat him upside the head. "Hah, funny man. Try." Your voice is quieter, a little bit more dangerous, just daring him to do that very thing. Kyle saves his own ass by pecking your cheek, gently taking your hands into his own. "I wouldn't, babes, you know I wouldn't." There's not a modicum of lie in that statement. Kyle knows that the sweetest ones are the most terrifying, and his mum would never let him hear the end of it if he lost you. "Yeah, I do know you wouldn't, jus' wanted to mess with you." It's Kyle's turn to gasp now, but he smiles when you kiss his cheek in return, leans into you like a lapdog despite himself. Tonight's going to be good, and he knows it.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Johnny, who remarkably managed very, very well with embroidery. You had been so happy to see him, posted on the couch next to you, working away at the hoop, having only very few questions on how he should hold the thing, if the tension you kept talking about was a little bit off. For an hour, maybe two, it was lovely. Simple silence as you leaned up on his shoulder, working a larger project as the Scot figured out exactly what he was doing on his own. Deft hands, you watched him pick apart the small knots in the thread without issue. It flooded your heart with pride. "Are you finally going to let me see the thing, Johnny?" You questioned playfully, trying to straighten your spine to get a peek before there's a big hand shoved over your eyes, and a thick accent chiding you for your gall. "No!" He squawks, you just know that he relishes in not letting you see, riling you up through your own curiosity, because Johnny is, at his core, a cheeky little shit. "Ye gotta wait, mo leannan, ye cannae jus' peek like that!" It draws a grumble from your lips, but you close your eyes, gently take hold of his wrist in your hand and nod, giving a softer affirmation before he coos at you. "Don' worry, it's almost done anyway." He soothes you with a soft peck to your temple, and just like that, you're calm again, all heart-eyed and dumb with love, relaxed. It's another thirty minutes before the finished product is tenderly set into your lap, and you gasp in surprise before seeing it. It's... stupid. An old sketch of his that really had amused him all too much, one of you from a picture at a night out (you had tripped on a root and he managed to get a picture of your face mid-fall) that he had always seemed too damn enamored with. "Oh my god." You press your hand to your face in shame, already feeling ridiculous before Johnny laughs brightly, pressed a firm, wet kiss to your cheek. "You look lovely! Don't ye? I think you look lovely." It's a sweet sentiment, enough to endear you to the terrible, terrible thing that your fiancé has chosen to immortalize and drive a too-fond sigh from your lips. "You're lucky that I love you." You grumble, giving Johnny a half-hearted glare before he swoops in to sweetly kiss your lips, because he really does know you too well. "Aye, I really am" He doesn't miss a beat, still grinning like an idiot. It makes your chest soften, your guts go mushy and fluttery. "Don't be coy, MacTavish." You reprimand. He grins, and kisses you again for good measure.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Simon, who really didn't think this would be necessary, but here he is, sitting next to you cross-legged on the floor with the hook in hand. "Like this, right?" He speaks gruffly, and loosens his posture for you to peek over his shoulder. He feels the ghost (pun intended) of a smile pulling up at his lips when he hears your affirmative hum. "Yeah. You're doing real good, honey," Your voice wafts into his ear so nicely, floods his mind so deliciously, the only person that Simon knew he would always listen to, his angel right here on Earth. "Out of curiosity, have you ever done this before?" When you finish your question, Simon does let that smile grow on his face, lets the warmth flood into the cavity of his chest, seep into the crevices of his soul, heal the damage bit by bit. Simon leans his head on yours, and takes in a breath. The truth was, he had. One night, after a particular date when you had entirely infodumped a current project to him, he had done a little research. Then, promptly after, learned to crochet, even if it was only the basics. It paid off now, with you on his arm and impressed with his skill. "Nah. Maybe I'm just good at this, hm?" He denies that, shuffles his cheek closer into yours, soaking up the warmth that you radiate, relishes in the soft chuckle that you give. "Mmh, maybe you're gonna be even better than me, is that your plan?" Your teasing is soft, given out of affection. It makes Simon smile, makes him relieved that he's once again managed to make sure that a date went well. "No. Just pick things up fast." The mood really is dead in the water, but Simon really loves that you seem to thrive in that, that you still peck his cheek anyway despite him practically having negative game. "Smartass." You chirp at him, setting down your own piece on the floor before wholesale resting your head on Simon's shoulder. He fights a chuckle. "Better than being a dumbass, isn't it?" The joke wasn't his (he stole it from Johnny), but when you laughed, Simon knew it was well worth it anyway.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

John, who was more than content to help you work on another big project of yours. He was endlessly proud of you, how wonderfully you worked on those commissions and how perfect they always looked when you finally shipped them off. But disaster always strikes at one time or another, and the cat is often the cause of that. After maybe an hour of soothing his panicking partner, John had you wrapped up in a blanket in the corner of your own office, gently taking the needle into his own hands to sew the small tear in the fabric back together as you sniffled a little bit. Were you more than skilled enough to fix this issue yourself? Yes. But John felt particularly loving lately, wanted to make sure that his lovely, hyper-competent partner knew that they could rely on him. Because they always could. When he speaks, its gently, glancing up from the fabric in his hands to look into your eyes, still a little bit bloodshot from the tears. "Don't worry yourself, sweetheart. My mother didn't raise a man who doesn't know how to do repairs." The comfort was genuine, both an assurance of his skill and a statement that you could just lay back, let him take the reins for once and allow you to calm down a little bit. "But-" you sniffle, wipe at your nose with a tissue, and John doesn't allow you to question this. "Nope. None of that self-doubt, yer therapist already said that's bad, didn't she?" You nod, John watches your cheeks flush a bit simply because he remembered, that he cared enough to stow that away in the back corners of his brain. Oh, if only you knew how much he adores you, your little heart would blow up. "I can't just let you do my work for me, John, that's not right." The small rebuttal makes him pause in the middle of a stitch, gently set the needle down. His darling had the morals of a saint, why was he surprised by that? "Who said that I was doing your work? Maybe I'm just your guest of honor, sweetness." John speaks softly, shoots you a cocky grin that finally brings a smile back onto your face. "Yeah, yeah, alright," He smiles as you stand, wraps a strong arm around your midsection as you tuck yourself into his side, calming all of the way back down, turning back into the wonderful, sweet, bordering perfect partner returning to form once more. "That means that you have to sign it, too, you know." You tease in return as John nervously swallows, knowing damn well he is hopeless to ever replicate the pure beauty that is your signature on professional pieces. "Well, I'm not so sure about that-" He uselessly stutters to the joke, feeling his own cheeks heat up more than a little bit at the invitation. "Oh, don't be like that, I could teach you." Now that makes Price melt.

[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Happy 28th! Here is my November 2024 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!

Next to your Heartbeat (where I should be) by jaded25 (130k)

"We were meant to be but a twist of fate made it so we had to walk away"

All it takes for them to fall in love is one night. All they have to do is wait one year to see each other again.

Yet, when Louis returns after his year abroad, the boy who's got his arms wrapped around Harry isn't him. It isn't a stranger either, which should make walking away all that easier. After all, friend's don't lust after their mate's boyfriends.

Technically, doing the right thing should be easy - but when has Louis ever been known to taking the easy way out?

To Haunt a Heart by etherealbliss / @givesuethemoon (110k)

A high-profile double homicide in the quiet, small town of Ashford, WA sends shockwaves through the public. Louis, the lead detective assigned to the case, is headstrong, earnest, and desperate to prove himself. Harry, the widow of one of the victims, is insufferably rich, wears far too many vintage dressing gowns, and is desperate to prove he’s not guilty.

Their desperation unexpectedly blossoms into something beautiful behind closed doors, amidst the ticking time bomb of a slowly unravelling mystery that the two soon find themselves deeply entwined in.

Where Words Fail, Music Speaks by Larry_you_know / @larryyouknow (45k)

Louis is a world class violinist. He’s one year over forty, living his best life in New York. One day, he comes to a small town in Connecticut where he inherited a house from his late father. The town looks nice and its people welcome him warmly. The problem is that Louis never knew his father and he doesn’t intend to change anything about it - his father can stuff his last will up his treacherous ass. In a strange coincidence, Louis meets town troubadour Harry, who seems wonderful to him just right until he reveals that Louis’ father was like a dad to him.

Even though Louis tries to convince himself that it shouldn’t - it hurts.

written for 1D Silver Fox Fest

Too Much, but It’s Enough by ohpleaselarry / @ohpleaselarry (40k)

There are about a thousand things Louis wishes he could go back in time and fix. A thousand things, and nearly all of them include Harry.

There are the more simple things, like showing him more support, telling him it’s okay to be himself, gently reminding him that a condom in his pocket is rather obvious in skinny jeans, but if he could just choose one thing, just one to change, he’d probably just have told the lad he loves him.

Always has. And always will.

Baby, What a Big Surprise by kiwikero / @icanhazzalou (33k)

As Harry settles into his seat, self-consciously adjusting his shirt over his slightly distended stomach, he can’t help but wonder how he got himself into all this. But he knows, of course he knows. It isn’t exactly easy to forget the moment that changed his entire life forever.

It all started with a party.

Or, the one where shy, quiet Harry has no idea he's a carrier, and a one night stand with the most popular boy in school shows him just how wrong he was.

Featuring Lottie as Harry's best friend, Niall as her boyfriend, and, of course, Louis as the popular boy with a soft spot for his little sister's quirky friend.

Into This Mess by crimsontheory / @ireallysawanangel (20k)

The first day of Louis’ promotion is going well, far better than he expected. That is until his new partner shows up, who just so happens to be the guy who stumbled half-dressed out of his flat that same morning.

Or the enemies to lovers detective AU.

Have Me And Hold Me by letsjustsee (8k)

His clumsy trips were now even more burdened by the sudden downpour. Twice he almost fell making his way back to the ceremony area, mostly due to his insistence on running across the lawn in between trips. The rain was relentless, coming at him from all angles with a deafening wind that muted everything outside of his own heavy breathing. He felt like he was making pretty good headway, all things considered. His pace was stalled only momentarily when, on his tenth or so trip, he thought about what someone looking out the window at that moment would see. Louis in his formal shirt and trousers, barefoot, stomping through the muddy lawn to gracelessly lug two chairs at a time towards the building.

Or, a wedding day AU in which Louis will let nothing stand in the way of a perfect day - especially a little rain.

If We Make It Through December, We'll Be Fine by penceypansy / @penceypansy (8k)

A job promotion of his dreams, an eight month long distance relationship, a cancelled train, and an emotional misunderstanding - Louis is just trying to make it home for the holidays.

No Faith Left to Lose by louieshalo / @louieshalo (7k)

Louis shoves an album booklet — Harry’s album booklet — into Harry’s hands, folded open to a familiar page. “I need you to tell me that that goddamn song is not about me.” His voice cracks a little in his vehemence, and ice fills Harry’s veins as he glances down at the creased page.

He doesn’t need to look closely to know what it is Louis is talking about — the title is printed plainly on the page, Second Chances, along with every incriminating lyric, line by line. It’s his most blatant offense off the entire album, probably; sickeningly indulgent and too obviously vulnerable to even defend himself against. The song is a surface-level dip into the fantasy world Harry toys with when the ache of loneliness gets to be too much in the middle of the night, the brief glimpse already toeing over the boundary he’d promised himself he’d set for his career.

Most damning, though, is the tiny embossed dedication at the bottom of the page;

“For who I’d be if I wasn’t afraid,” Louis recites, looking expectantly at Harry. “What the fuck does that mean?

or, the one where they miss each other more than anything.

With You I Am Never Alone by LiveLaughLoveLarry (SoLongAndThanksForAllTheFic) (6k)

Louis comes up with the idea of holding a Thanksgiving dinner for their families. Harry loves it. And him.

[authenticbunni]

My highlights from “Power of the subconscious mind”

These highlights are from a book made in 1963 By Joseph Murphy, Who taught this around the us, and has given regular people that had little idea about it result of their manifestations, if this gets enough notes then I’ll make another part with the success stories from the book. The words in green are my own, for you to further understand or Apply it to modern day manifestation

Never use the terms, "I can't afford it" or "I can't do this." Your subconscious mind takes you at your word and sees to it that you do not have the money or the ability to do what you want to do. Affirm, "I can do all things through the power of my subconscious mind."

Still the wheels of your mind, relax, let go, and quietly affirm: "My subconscious knows the answer. It is responding to me now. I give thanks because I know the infinite intelligence of my subconscious knows all things and is revealing the perfect answer to me now. My real conviction is now setting free the majesty and glory of my subconscious mind. I rejoice that it is so."

Whether the object of your faith (religion) is real or false, you will get results. Your subconscious mind responds to the thought in your mind. Look upon faith as a thought in your mind, and that will suffice (be enough or adequate).

I wanted to know his method, so I asked him why he re-peated the words prior to sleep (SATS). Here is his reply, "The kinetic action of the subconscious mind continues throughout your sleep-time period. Hence, give the subconscious mind something good to work on as you drop off into slumber." This was a very wise answer. In thinking of harmony and perfect health, he never mentioned his trouble by name.

Apply the power of prayer therapy (This can be an affirmation/vaunt too) in your life. Choose a certain plan, idea, or mental picture. Mentally and emotionally unite with that idea, and as you remain faithful to your mental attitude, your prayer will be answered.

Power goes into our word according to the feeling and faith behind it. When we realize the power that moves the world is moving on our behalf and is backing up our word, our confidence and assurance grow. You do not try and add power to power; therefore, there must be no mental striving, coercion, force, or mental wrestling (basically desperation, I would explain it but it’s too much, you sorta kinda have to read the book to get it :/).

To affirm is to state that it is so, and as you maintain this attitude of mind as true, regardless of all evidence to the contrary, you will receive an answer to your prayer.

Similarly, your subconscious mind is the master mechanic, the all-wise one, who knows ways and means of healing any or-gan of your body, as well as your affairs. Decree health, and your subconscious will establish it, but relaxation is the key. "Easy does it." Do not be concerned with details and means, but know the end result. Get the feel of the happy solution to your problem whether it is health, finances, or employment (these were like the big concerns in the mid 1900s, you can replace these with your desires). Remember how you felt after you had recovered from a severe state of illness (replace that with your desire). Bear in mind that your feeling is the touchstone of all subconscious demonstration. Your new idea must be felt subjectively in a finished state, not the future, but as coming about now.

using your subconscious mind you infer no opponent, you use no will power. You imagine the end and the freedom state. You will find your intellect trying to get in the way, but persist in maintaining a simple, childlike, miracle-making faith. Picture yourself without the ailment (this means like illness, but you don’t have to worry abt this word) or problem. Imagine the emotional accompaniment of the freedom state you crave. Cut out all red tape (hard stuff or complex manifesting routine/self concept) from the process. The simple way is the best.

Do not weaken your prayer by saying, "I wish I might be healed." "I hope so." Your feeling about the work to be done is "the boss." Harmony is yours. Know that health is yours. Be-come intelligent by becoming a vehicle for the infinite healing power of the subconscious mind. Pass on the idea of health to your subconscious mind to the point of conviction; then relax. Get yourself off your hands. Say to the condition and circum-stance, "This, too, shall pass." Through relaxation you impress your subconscious mind enabling the kinetic energy behind the idea to take over and bring it into concrete realization.

[littlelamy]

I just saw ‘’a walk to remember’’ and it came a lil request idea (but with a happy ending and fluff, ain’t nobody ready for heartbreak after obx4). Maybe Kook!Reader suffers with some sickness that’s manageable. She goes on a few dates with Rafe and it’s that sweet wholesome pinning. Though for her most recent doctor appointment where she went for a scan, she learns that she doesn’t have much time to live (false alarm unknown to her: doctors fucked up with the scan, she is completely fine) and when Rafe makes a heartfelt confession wanting to make things serious, she has to tell him there is no point and IT’S ALL ANGSTY and Rafe is bawling mess

a/n: thank you for requesting! it’s a bit long 🙃, hope you like it 💗!!

the summer air clung to the coast like a warm blanket, carrying the scent of salt and honeysuckle as you walked into the country club. it was one of those evenings where the world seemed too quiet, like it was holding its breath. you hadn’t planned to stay long. a drink, a few polite hellos, and you’d leave.

but then he walked in.

rafe cameron.

you’d seen him before, of course. kildare wasn’t that big, and rafe’s reputation preceded him—wild, confident, a little dangerous. he was the guy everyone talked about, the one your parents didn’t want you anywhere near.

but when his eyes found yours that night, something changed.

he smiled. not his usual cocky, smug grin, but something softer. something meant just for you.

and when he crossed the room, leaned on the bar beside you, and said, “what’s a pretty girl like you doing here all alone?”—you didn’t brush him off like you might’ve done with someone else.

instead, you smiled back.

the first few dates were simple, easy. a mix of late-night drives, quiet beach picnics, and stargazing. it wasn’t anything extraordinary, but somehow, with rafe, even the most ordinary moments felt different.

he wasn’t what you’d expected.

sure, he had that edge, that playful arrogance that made him irresistible. but he was also thoughtful. he remembered how you took your coffee after just one date, texted you goodnight even when he was out with his friends, and noticed the little things—like the way you twisted your ring when you were nervous.

and you found yourself looking forward to every moment you spent with him.

but underneath the easy laughter and quiet moments, there was a weight pressing on your chest. something you couldn’t ignore, no matter how much you wanted to.

your sickness wasn’t new. you’d lived with it for years, managing it like an unwelcome guest. it wasn’t life-threatening, or so you thought—it was just… a part of you.

but two weeks ago, everything had shifted.

you’d gone in for a routine scan, expecting the usual reassurances. instead, your doctor’s expression had been grim, his words careful and clinical as he explained the results.

the prognosis wasn’t good.

“limited time.” that’s what he’d said, as if those two words could sum up everything you were feeling.

you’d walked out of that office in a daze, the world around you moving too fast and too slow all at once.

you hadn’t told anyone. not yet. how could you?

how were you supposed to look someone in the eye and tell them your days were numbered?

when you saw rafe again, the weight in your chest felt heavier.

he greeted you with that same, easy smile, pulling you into a hug that felt like coming home.

“missed you,” he murmured against your hair.

“missed you too,” you whispered back, the words catching in your throat.

the two of you spent the evening on the porch at tannyhill, a bottle of wine between you. the night was quiet, the only sound the gentle hum of cicadas in the distance.

rafe was unusually still, his fingers tracing slow circles on your knee.

“you okay?” he asked, his voice soft.

“yeah,” you lied, forcing a smile. “why wouldn’t i be?”

he didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push. instead, he reached for your hand, threading his fingers through yours.

“can i tell you something?” he asked, his voice quieter now.

you turned to him, your chest tightening. “of course.”

he hesitated, as if trying to find the right words. then he sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“i know we haven’t been doing this for long,” he started, his gaze fixed on your joined hands. “but i really like you. like, really like you.”

your heart clenched painfully.

“i don’t want this to be just casual,” he continued, his voice steady despite the vulnerability in his expression. “i want to be with you. for real.”

tears blurred your vision, and you looked away, your chest aching with the weight of what you had to say.

“rafe��”

“what?” he asked, leaning closer. “what’s wrong?”

you shook your head, pulling your hand from his as you stood.

“we can’t,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper.

his brow furrowed, confusion and hurt flashing across his face. “what do you mean, ‘we can’t’? why not?”

“because…” you wrapped your arms around yourself, as if that would somehow keep you from falling apart. “because of me.”

“what does that mean?” he pressed, standing now too.

you took a shaky breath, the words catching in your throat. “i don’t have much time,” you finally managed, your voice breaking.

the silence that followed was deafening.

“what are you talking about?” he asked, his voice barely audible.

you couldn’t look at him. “the doctors… they said…” you trailed off, shaking your head. “it doesn’t matter.”

“doesn’t matter?” he repeated, his voice rising. “how can you say that? of course, it matters!”

“it doesn’t change anything,” you said, turning away from him.

“like hell it doesn’t,” he snapped, grabbing your arm and turning you to face him. “we’ll get another opinion. hell, i’ll fly you anywhere—just tell me what we need to do.”

“there’s nothing you can do,” you said, your voice trembling.

“that’s not true,” he argued, his tone desperate now. “we’ll fix this.”

you shook your head, tears streaming down your face. “you don’t get it, rafe. you can’t fix this. no one can.”

he stared at you, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to process your words. then, without warning, he pulled you into his arms, holding you so tightly it was almost hard to breathe.

“i’m not giving up on you,” he whispered fiercely.

and for the first time in weeks, you let yourself believe him.

it was two days later when your phone rang.

you almost didn’t answer it, too drained to face whatever news was on the other end. but something told you to pick up.

“ms. y/l/n?” the voice on the other end said. “this is dr. patel. we’ve reviewed your scan results, and there’s been a mistake.”

your heart stopped. “a mistake?”

“yes,” the doctor confirmed. “the results were mixed up with another patient’s. your condition hasn’t progressed. you’re completely fine.”

fine.

the word echoed in your mind, over and over, as relief and disbelief and anger surged through you all at once.

“are you sure?” you asked, your voice shaking.

“yes,” the doctor assured you. “we deeply regret the error and the distress it’s caused.”

you hung up without another word, the phone slipping from your hand as you stared blankly ahead.

you were fine.

but rafe didn’t know that.

telling him wasn’t easy.

when you showed up at tannyhill, he was waiting for you on the porch, his face drawn with exhaustion.

“hey,” he said softly, pulling you into his arms the moment you stepped through the door.

“hey,” you murmured, burying your face in his chest.

he held you for a long moment, neither of you saying anything. then he pulled back, his hands resting on your shoulders as he studied your face.

“you okay?” he asked, his voice tentative.

you nodded, your throat tightening. “there’s something i need to tell you.”

his brow furrowed. “what is it?”

you took a deep breath, your fingers twisting the hem of your shirt.

“the scan…” you hesitated, your heart pounding. “it was wrong.”

his eyes widened. “what?”

“the results were mixed up,” you explained, tears streaming down your cheeks. “i’m fine, rafe. i’m fine.”

for a moment, he just stared at you, his mouth opening and closing as he tried to process your words. then, without warning, he let out a shaky laugh, pulling you into his arms again.

“thank god,” he whispered, his voice breaking.

you clung to him, the relief in his embrace overwhelming.

“i’m sorry,” you murmured, your voice muffled against his chest.

“don’t,” he said firmly, pulling back just enough to cup your face in his hands. “don’t apologize, baby.”

and when he kissed you, it felt like the first breath after drowning—a promise that everything would be okay.

because it would.

with rafe by your side, you knew it would.

taglist: @namelesslosers @princessslutt @averyoceanblvd @iknowdatsrightbih @starkeysprincess @sixrosberg @anamiad00msday @ivysprophecy @wearemadeofstardust0 @kissrotten @rafesangelita @sstargirln @rafedaddy01 @soldesole @bakugouswaif @skywalker0809 @vanessa-rafesgirl @evermorx89 @aariahnaa @outerhills @ditzyzombiesblog

[nerdieforpedro]

WIP Wednesday

The last one I did may have been in September. 👀 Been a long time. Haven’t really been writing much fanfic. Stuck on different papers for school. I was tagged by @evolnoomym and she shared ideas so I will too! ❤️ @pr3ttynpiink also tagged me and looks to be cooking up some fun new fics. 🥰

I want to write something for Modern Din and Christmas to go in my series: This is the Neighborhood Din, but it will likely need a chapter between that to make sense. (Every so often I care about making sense). Also more Luke doing Jedi yoga on his lawn and Poe & Finn being boyfriends because I want it all!

I need to write a new chapter of Weddings 101 with Dieter. Kinda left on a cliffhanger and a lot happened in my mind that should be posted 🤣

There’s a little over a month until the DMAMC 2025 challenge is due, haven’t written anything. Actually forgot about it, but fear not! I’ll think of something. 👀 My character is Pero Tovar (I doomed myself by picking him 😭 like the level of difficulty). But maybe I’ll revisit a pairing I’ve done.

Random but working on a Baldur’s Gate 3 fic and bugging @perotovar (Erin beta read for me what I have so far), @megamindsecretlair reads the snippets I send her and @soft-persephone looks at the pics I send her and is honest 🤣🤣🤣). Everyone’s favorite moody (for many a legit reason) and murderous pale elf who’s a vampire Astarion and an OFC. Things that happened between these two: a lot of staring, mocking Gale (everyone’s favorite past time- he makes it easy but also the wizard is really nice insane like everyone else but nice), drying some hair, hugs and some tears. Lots of angst, fluff and comfort. Haven’t decided on smut yet, is likely but I’ll see how it reads.

Didn’t realize that A Safe Place for Us was up to chapter 7 on AO3 and only 5 on Tumblr 👀 My bad. I should be able to post one chapter on here before November ends. The formatting and graphics take me the longest. 🤓

I also have a secret Santa fic things I’m supposed to be working on for a discord group but I also have not started. 👀 Unsure of which direction it should go in. I’ll figure it out, eventually I think.

The first paragraph of chapter five of “A Safe Place for Us”:

Waking up to Dieter takes getting used to for Aisha. It’s not unwelcome, she’s just not used to someone clinging to her like he does. Every morning he stays at her apartment is one where he has his arm and head somewhere on her. Chest, stomach, thigh, back, ass one time because he enjoys scissoring her entrance wider and scooping his spend that drips out of her back in before pumping his fingers to stir his cum within her.

Yeah…chapter five is…a ride so to speak. 👀 Forgot we had a strong start.

I found a WIP that contains Marcus Pike angst:

His romantic relationships and come and gone just like yours but you always had each other. Though, you treated yours as ways to work off the need you felt for your friend. To distract yourself, even when you were with your other partners, you’d think of him during the throws of passion, even when having simple meals and they may chew too loudly. You loathed your behavior toward your partners and your friend, biting your lips to not utter his name while under someone else.

“Marcus…”

Is the only name you want to say but can’t.

Hmm….might be a good holiday one or something. 🤔

That’s the ideas for now. Always a lot and never finished. ✅ Would it be Nerdie if they were? 😎

Have a happy Thanksgiving, holiday, days off of work and stay safe!

NPT: @chaithetics @schnarfer @inept-the-magnificent @yopossum @djarinmuse @604to647 @secretelephanttattoo @magpiepills @maggiemayhemnj @murder-wife @sin-djarin @syd-djarin @morallyinept @westside-rot @tinytinymenace @sunshinehaze1 @soft-girl-musings @goodwithcheese @jolapeno @bluestar22x @clawdee @romanarose @beefrobeefcal @bitchesuntitled @bitchwitch1981

[superlazytuesday]

jayvik au where jayce is just building his status and a name in the scientist world with his work and discoveries, a young star some would say even, and it’s at the beginning of his fame when he starts to correspond with a stranger who he thinks has to be a scientist as well but who he knows nothing about apart of the ideas they share, even the full name is missing and his signature is always only a simple 'v.' and it’s okay because jayce is completely lost in the work they suddenly start to share, their ideas intertwining and it’s brilliant and wonderful time and what else he should be worried about, right.

until he gets curious because v. is brilliant and his mind is a wonder to him and how he never met anyone like him before, that shouldn’t be possible. and he realizes he genuinely do not know who could be hidding behind his letters and after some time, the letters become more personal and jayce suddenly doesn’t care only about the work. and he tries to put the puzzles together to get the whole picture of an amazing scientist he should know about but is completely lost in his discoveries.

and it’s mostly a coincidence when his friend (caitlyn probably) shows him how simple the answer to all of his questions is. v. doesn’t have to be a scientists, he's a part of the conferences and he even could met him personally before but jayce didn’t pay him an attention. because viktor, that’s his name they'll find out after some time, is an asistant of a huge name in the scientist world. an asistant most of them usually ignore and when viktor finds out about it? well, he's not happy because this is exactly why kept his identity as a secret. scientists usually don’t talk about important things with him, they usually don’t share their thoughts with him. but when he met jayce, he got fascinated by his mind, his ideas, and couldn’t help himself. for once, he could talk about science freely and without judgement, he could pretend his lower level of education was enough, the nights he spent over books and experiments to catch up were enough. he could partly forget about empty stomach and cold apartment. with jayce, it was annoyingly easy.

[hyperdramas]

faithful | lee seokmin

pairing: lee seokmin x reader

warnings: non-idol au, fluffy (at the beginning & end), jealous seokmin, cursing, seokmin uses petnames (baby), reader uses nicknames, kissing, reader has an ex, reader thinks jealous seokmin is kind of attractive, seokmin apologizes to reader, lyr has too much fun describing seokmin pt. 92809423, happy/wholesome ending

now playing: faithful, wild east radio word count: 2069 (holy....) (for @kstrucknet)

lyr's notez: thank you @heechwe we all say in unison (she came up w this) 🤍 also....the 2nd/right picture has me feeling some type of way because holy....oh lord

As you and your boyfriend spent your Saturday afternoon parading the aisles of your local grocery store, the two of you couldn't help but be all over each other, nearly running into shelves left and right because you two couldn't keep your eyes off each other.

Seokmin was in an outfit you had never seen him in before, and it made you feel something─it was simple: a black turtleneck and a dark pair of jeans laced with a sleek, silver buckled belt.

His sleeves were rolled up to his forearms, revealing his sculpted forearms and tanned skin underneath. Your head was cloudy enough just looking at his outfit, but it got even worse when you looked at his face.

He was wearing those stupid black frames again─the ones you had bought him a few months ago for a surprise─and they perfectly sat on his nose. His smile was a bright, butterfly-inducing white as he scrolled on his phone, reading the grocery list. You almost kissed him in the middle of the frozen food section when he helped a lady's kid reach something on the higher shelf, paternal instincts kicking in without his knowledge.

"Did we get the salt?" Seokmin's voice awakens you from your reverie, and you nod, obviously flustered that he caught you in that state. He looks at you and smiles, knowing what's going through your head as his hand brushes yours. "Stay focused, baby."

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one having to hold themselves back from flinging themselves on their boyfriend because he looks so attractive in the outfit he's wearing." You say while locking eyes with him. Seokmin gets a kick out of this, a smile coming on his face as he kisses your forehead.

"Who told you I wasn't also trying to hold myself back? You don't know─I may want to kiss you really badly right now," Seokmin's voice is playful as he gives you a sweet side glance, and you can't help but laugh, propelling the cart forward as the two of you laugh at each other's antics.

As you and Seokmin browse the produce section (Seokmin really doing all the hard work while you just hang back and admire the sushi a few steps away), Seokmin's hands find their place on your waist, shocking you as he presses you against the cart.

His lips hover just above your ear, and he leans in, tricking you into thinking he's going to kiss you just to reach around you to get his phone.

"Min, what was that all about?" You ask confused, body warm from his touch. You were already flustered─he was just making it worse.

"That guy keeps looking at you," Seokmin's voice is suspicious as he continues to push the cart, and you glanced over at who he was talking about, eyes widening as you met eyes with him.

It was your toxic ex-boyfriend who had left you for another girl two years ago, and he was back in town─without a girlfriend, might you add.

"Do you know him, baby?" Seokmin's voice is louder now that you two have turned the corner. He's curious: the man stared at you like he was familiar with you, and it made Seokmin sick to his stomach. The way his eyes sparkled when he watched you...Seokmin fumed quietly, knowing that he alone was supposed to watch you like that.

"That's my ex. He's...." You trail off, and Seokmin finishes it for you, eyebrows falling into a serious look. "I remember. You told me about him." Seokmin's voice had a darker edge to it, one you had never heard before.

Seokmin was always mild-mannered and polite, even when he had a strong opinion or dislike of something. This─the side of Seokmin you were seeing now─was very new to you. 

You couldn't lie and say you didn't think it was really attractive.

“Hey!” A familiar voice from behind you interrupts your thoughts about your boyfriend, and you turn around and lock eyes with your ex. There’s a surprising kindness in his gaze that catches you off guard, leaving you frozen and unsure of how to respond.

“Oh─hi!” You try to be polite, hoping your smile doesn’t come off as a grimace. Seokmin smiles beside you, trying to be polite: he remembers everything you told him, and he tries to push the thoughts of rising anger away, wanting to be cordial and polite in the situation.

“How are you? It’s been a long time, hasn’t it?” Your ex comes in for a hug, but you refuse, stepping back as you just nod. Your ex notices this, face dropping slightly as his grin turns to a straight-lipped smile. “It has. I’ve been good, though.” 

“Well, that’s good to hear. Who’s this? I don’t think we’ve met before.” His question is directed at you, but his eyes are on Seokmin’s imposing frame as he speaks. Seokmin doesn’t back down, not affected by your ex’s judgemental stare.

“This is Seokmin, my boyfriend.” You gesture to Seokmin, and he nods, reaching out to shake hands with your ex as his voice is warm. “It’s nice to meet you.”

"It’s nice to meet you too.” Your ex’s voice is filled with sarcastic politeness as he takes Seokmin’s hand, retracting it as his eyes glare Seokmin’s way. You both could tell that he was disgusted by Seokmin: it wasn’t hard to notice, seeing how his lips turned into a slight sneer when Seokmin entered the conversations started by your ex.

Seokmin was threatened by the way he looked at you─he could tell your ex was making you uncomfortable, and it bothered him even more that he was subtly yet surely trying to flirt with you. It was something in the way your ex had given you backhanded compliments it with a little laugh in his voice as if mocking who you were and the man Seokmin was.

Slight dislike grew into disgust, and before he knew it, Seokmin’s rational thinking had flown out of the window. He was seeing stars from how angry he was getting.

“So how has Seokmin been? Treating you and caring for you, I mean.” Your ex’s question sounded so sarcastic you almost visibly winced, but you bit back the urge, smiling up at your boyfriend whose expression had already darkened three shades.

“Seokmin has done so much for me, and I’m really glad I met him. He's been a breath of fresh air after our disagreement.” You try to stay polite, but it becomes increasingly uncomfortable to listen to your ex speak about your boyfriend. In reality, Seokmin is the best thing that has ever happened to you.

“You look happy, don’t get me wrong. I just─I would have thought that you would have chosen better. You were never good at thinking or using your brain for anything other than being cute and reading too much into things.” Your ex scoffed unamusedly, and your eyes got watery as you stared down at the grown, face warming up at his words. 

His words dripped with sarcasm that pierced through you, leaving you feeling small and uncertain about your nature. Each comment was like the stab of a sharp knife, cutting and slicing all the positive things Seokmin told you every day. Even though you said you had gotten over your ex, and you had, those words still hurt. No matter who said them, words still hurt.

“Okay, woah. Don’t you dare say that about her. That’s so far from the truth.” Seokmin’s voice grew harder by the second as he stepped towards your boyfriend, anger radiating off him in thick waves.

His eyes were five shades darker, sharp and fierce as he looked at your ex with a burning hatred. Seokmin’s hand tightened around yours as he stared, unmoved by the stares he was garnering from other shoppers.

“What? I was just telling the truth. She has this habit of making decisions about her love life and then crying when it all goes wrong.” Your ex’s voice had a bite to it, and Seokmin didn’t falter, lips curving up into a sneer as he let go of your hand. His whole body is tense, on fire, and he wants nothing more than to punch your ex straight in his jaw and send him crying to his girlfriend (or lack thereof).

“You have some fucking nerve saying that about my girlfriend in front of me. I was trying to be polite and cordial throughout all of this, but as soon as you started talking from your ass, I forgot. Fuck off.”  The cursing from Seokmin sounds so foreign to you─you knew he was capable of it, but you never heard him do it around you. The venom behind his words was tangible, and if you were your ex, you would back off in fear of him.

Seokmin’s voice is so low and angry that it even shocks him in the back of his mind, but his face doesn’t register the thought. Your ex backs off, obviously shocked at the sharpness of his tone as well. He doesn’t say anything more, giving the two of you one last glance before he strolls away. 

Seokmin’s chest rises and falls quickly, adrenaline coursing through his veins as he pushes the cart to the checkout area. The whole time he’s eerily quiet, on edge as he pays for the groceries and loads them out into the back of his car.

You get in on the other side, still in shock at the Seokmin you saw in the aisle just a few minutes earlier. He was harsh─harsher than you had ever seen him be before. 

It was an eye-opener for you, and you found yourself being attracted to your boyfriend even more.

When Seokmin got into the car and buckled his seat belt up, his head hit the headrest with a hard bump, causing you to look over at him.

He was quiet as he stared up at the car’s ceiling, and you reached out to touch his forearm, smiling at him as he looked over at you.

“I’m really, really, really sorry, baby. I overreacted in there and what you saw wasn’t necessary and was uncalled for, and for that, I’m─” Seokmin was cut off by you leaning over the stick shift and kissing him, feeling the stress disappear from his shoulders. He went slack under your touch, lips feeling yours as he let you take over.

When you pulled away, Seokmin fell quiet, confused as you smiled to yourself. “Did I say something funny?” He asked, and you shook your head, looking out of the window as you buckled yourself up.

“No, Min. You were just─I was really shocked when I saw you get angry at him like that,” You said, and Seokmin looked down at his hands, sighing.

“I’m sorry. When he started talking to you I was already starting to get suspicious of him, but when he started saying those things to you…god, it fucking drove me insane.” Seokmin started to get riled up again, but you placed your hands on his forearm, and he slowly dwindled back down after a few breaths.

“Did I scare you or anything?” Seokmin asks sweetly, eyes looking at you worriedly as you shake your head. Pushing his bangs back from his face, you caress his cheek, watching him with love in your eyes as you shake your head again, slowly.

“No, Seok. I thought it was really attractive of you.” You say softly, a heat rushing to your cheeks as Seokmin smiles deviously. “Really?” 

“Yeah. It made me want to kiss you really badly.” Seokmin leans over to touch his lips to yours softly, making you gasp at the way he slowly tickles your cheek with his slender, graceful fingers.

Seokmin leans closer, his breath warm against your skin as he whispers, “You should do that.” A playful giggle escapes your lips, and you can’t help but smile at the mischief in his eyes. With a teasing flutter of your heart, you weave your fingers through his soft, tousled curls, feeling the gentle silkiness beneath your touch. You pull him in just a little closer, your lips brushing softly against his, slightly swollen from previous kisses.

Savoring the moment, you whisper, “Don’t mind if I do, Minnie,” before closing the distance between you, tasting the sweetness of the connection you both share.

[hwashua-luv]

A Surprise at Sunset

The sun was setting below the horizon as it painted a warm, golden glow across the cityscape. From the balcony of your apartment, you could view the whole city bathed in an astounding combination of colours. It was that kind of evening which made one appreciate the simple beauty of life, and you were about to enjoy it even more.

Choi San, your husband of nearly three years, had promised to surprise you tonight. You didn't have a single idea what he had in store, but you knew you could rely on his sense of romance and ingenuity. He was full of surprises, each one more thoughtful than the previous. You set the table for two and started blending the scent of the candles you'd lit with the meal's aroma you'd prepared.

"Do you think he'll like this?" you mused aloud, adjusting a small vase with one rose in it.Just then, the sound of the unlocking front door framed your thoughts. You turned to see San walk in, and when his eyes met yours, they immediately lit up. Casually attired in a simple shirt and jeans, he had that inborn feel of charm.

"You're home early!" you exclaimed, leaning in to give him a quick peck on the cheek. Your skin tingled at the light touch of his lips.

"Got off work early," San replied, wrapping his arms around your waist. "I thought I'd come and give you a little sneak peek of the surprise."

You cocked an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. "A sneak peek? What do you have in mind?"San smiled wryly and gently guided you to the living room, wherein he presented to you a box wrapped in fine paper sealed by a red ribbon. "This is only a part of it," he told you as he handed the box over to you.

You untied the ribbon and opened the box gingerly. Inside the box was a dainty silver necklace with a heart-shaped pendant. You were pleased, wide-eyed.

"Oh, darling, it's beautiful!" you exclaimed, lifting the necklace to the light.

"I'm glad you like it," he said, his eyes twinkling. "But that's not all. I wanted to celebrate this evening in a special way."

He took you back out onto the balcony, where he had set up a little table with candles, a blanket, and a bottle of wine. Everything was just right, with twinkling city lights below them like a thousand little stars.

"This is amazing," you said, awing at the view around you. "How did you manage all this?"San shrugged a casual shoulder, but a pleased smile tugged his lips higher. "I've had some practice. But there's something else I wanted to do."

He took your hand and led you to the table, pulling out a chair for you. As you sat, he poured the wine, and the two of you toasted with clinking glasses.

"For us," San said, his eyes met with yours with a comforting light that sent your heartbeat racing.

"For us," you echoed and weighed the wine in your mouth while you looked out into the city. The conversation came easy, the laughter you shared, as easy as ever. It is times like this that remind you why you fell in love with San in the first place.

As the evening started to wear on and the stars began to twinkle brightly above them, San rose and extended his hand. "May I have this dance?"

You looked at him with a look of surprise, but delighted. "Of course."

He led you into the middle of the balcony, and the smooth playing of music from the nearby speaker sounded softly. San pulled you close, his hands light on your back, and you placed your hands on his shoulders as you swayed to the rhythm of the music.

Time froze as the rest of the world melted away, leaving only the two of you in your own little bubble of romance. San touches gently, his movements sure and not spooking. You could feel the love and care in every step that he made, every tender glance he gave to you.

As the song reached its peak, San's eyes softened. He looked down into your eyes with an expression that could twist your heart into knots. "You know, I never thought I could be this happy," he whispered, in a tone barely audible to you. "But with you, everything feels just right."

You smiled up at him, a lump beginning to form in your throat. "I feel the very same way. You make each and every day special."

His thumb traced circles softly on your cheek as San leaned in, his lips brushing yours in a sweet, lingering kiss. It was a promise of kisses, affection, and all the love he held for you. You dissolved into the kiss as you savoured the moment, letting the warmth emanate from his touch.

When you finally pulled away, both were breathless, smiling. San cupped your face with his hands while his eyes searched yours with that look of pure adoration.

"The other thing I wanted to say," he started with his voice as full of heartfelt sincerity as it could get, "is that, though I am really not up to standard when it comes to the expression of my feelings, you mean so much to me; you are my everything, and I want to make you as happy as you make me."

You felt the welling up in your eyes of joyful tears. "And I promise to always stand by your side, no matter what."

San's eyes sparkled with emotion as he leaned in for another kiss, this time deeper and more passionate. The world outside seemed to disappear as you lost yourself in the moment, feeling the depth of his love and the strength of your bond.

As you finally parted, arms still entwined with each other's, city lights shone in the distance. San leaned his hand on your cheek, his thumb tracing circles on your skin.

"I guess I should let you in on the last part of the surprise," he said in a sudden fervour, where even his eye seemed to sparkle within.

"Oh?" you asked with a raised eyebrow.

He nodded, reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small envelope which he handed to you. You opened it to find inside a handwritten letter; it was filled with all the reasons he loved you and the things he had planned for your future together.

"This is so sweet," you said, feeling a lump in my throat. "I don't know what to say."

"Just know, I love you more than words can say," San said softly. "And I always will."

You both stood on the balcony in each other's arms, gazing starward, across the night sky, while the city below was like a painting of light, and in your chests, filled with heartbeats, at once knowing you had all you needed across each other's embrace.

But as night wore on, the warmth of the evening and the love you shared just made it clearly evident that whatever surprises were in store, the most important thing was the way you cherished each other day in and day out.

And so you both knew this was just another beautiful chapter in your love story-a story that, every day, would grow just a little bit more.

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿

Word count: 1196

Author's note: Please let me know if I have spelling or grammar mistakes. The same book has been posted on Quotev and Wattpad (hwashua-luv). Each oneshot will be posted on Instagram (hwashua._.luv1708). Requests are also open <3

All rights reserved. © 2024 hwashua-luv

All works written by me do not copy, translate or repost my works without my given consent.

[lunarla123]

Where Shadows Lie - GF AU Sheet

Ok finally did Helen's ref sheet yippee! Procrastination had me chained to the bed, literally.

Berry reference sheet

Info dump ahead.

Name: Helen Lampinen

Nickname: Lenny, Len, Kirsikka (Finnish pronunciation)

Birthday: September 29

Age: 46

Orientation: Aroace

Species: Human

Height: 5'6 ft

Weight: 163 lbs

Voice: Annapantsu's voice fits her so well augh

Relationship Status: Single

Family: Folke Lampinen (Father, alive)(WSL!dd), Outi Lampinen (Mother, alive)(WSL!mm)

Partner(s): None

Friends: Piro Fürst (Late friend, WSL!pico), Birger Filppula (Late friend, B.F.), Berry Klein (Ward, WSL!bf), Ludvig Carlen (Coworker, WSL!steve)

Acquaintances: Hans Adler (Coworker, WSL!tankman), Darnell Adams (WSL!darn), Nene Ming Yue (WSL!nene)

Enemies: Sigmar Tollens (Works under, WSL!sen), Schatten (WSL!pico)

Personality: A textbook workaholic but does try her best to live a balanced life (and so far failing to). Has an affinity for children and does her best to take care of them through her job as a psychiatrist, usually is determined to see their rehab through and adapts well in various situations. Cares for her parents a lot even with their insistence for her to follow family tradition.

Personality flaw: Tends to have difficulty to let go of the past and often reminisce on memorable moments and old friends. Although she's straightforward out of work, she has a habit to overthink other people's thoughts and behaviors when interacting with them.

Likes: Her job, latte coffee, celery with peanut butter, red velvet cake, reading children's books, fantasy novels, sweet cocktails, sunflower seeds, acoustic music, lasting friendships, friendly spirit entities

Dislikes: Black coffee, spinach, being alone, strong alcohol, hostile spirits, leaving her loved ones behind, thunderstorms, miscommunication.

Backstory:

Her life should have been simple. Grow up, go to school, have friends, follow her family's tradition. It should've stayed that way, but it seems fate had other plans.

It was during middle school when she had met her best friends, Piro and Birger. They were quite the shy duo, although the latter was a bit bolder. Nonetheless, they quickly bonded with each other after messing around at the nearby playground until their parents came to take them home. Although Helen was quite a rambunctious young girl, she quickly adapted to being more approachable to the older two boys, having a strong desire to be friends with them.

Days passed, then weeks, months, and soon years have gone by like leaves in the wind. The trio were walking along the pavement to their university, hands holding together swinging back and forth. Helen and Birger were singing a popular folk song of the time, their hands swaying roughly back and forth to their slightly disoriented rhythm, while Piro on her other side hummed quietly along in amusement as his arm was dragged along a bit behind from the girl's movement.

That was how they usually roll with their days together, they were practically inseparable. A stark contrast from their first meet almost a decade ago now. Helen wished they would all stay together like this, and hopes their friendship will continue until they see gray in their hairs. . .

She still remembered during a sleepover when her two best friends snuck off into the dandelion fields that night, not knowing she was a fairly light sleeper. She couldn't help but tag along in secret, curious of what they were up to. Of course, when she realized the intimate scenery she quickly hid behind the bush, she can still hear their soft giggles as they continued gazing at the stars.

If she had to be honest, she had mixed feelings at the revelation. She knew all of their families were religious, especially her and Birgers. Sure, the recent law changes for homosexuality would favor the two, but people aren't as easy to change yet. She just quietly hopes for the two to stay happy together, and hopes their families won't find out.

When Christmas came around however, she will never forget seeing the blue boy j̸̲̫̕u̸͍̼͂̆́m̷̳͍̗͑p̷̨͉̺̖̬̓͑͌̚ḙ̴̫̄̚d̶͍̣͑͋͒ ̷̲̟͙̹̈́̃͘͝i̸̟̬̘̯͌n̶͕̱̪̂̅̆t̶͉̤̙͍̫̓̑̐o̵̺̽ ̵̥̤̇̋̂̅̕t̸̹̤͕̤͆̏̈͘͘͜h̵̤̱͈̃̿̓̕e̸̝͕̍̀̏ ̴̼̟̲͎̈́͊͠ĉ̴͍͓̊l̷̰̬̐̀ḯ̴̲̜̬̗̤̌̏͝f̷͕̬͔̍͗̀͠f̵̠̪̤̮̭͗͒͛̈́ ̷̧̠̜̯͋̈́͝b̸͇̙̼̄͋͘ͅe̶͍̟̽̏͜l̶͖̟͠��̯ő̸̱͚͊́w̷̬̹̻͌͒̉̕,̴͔̔͝ ̸̧̘̬̗͆͒a̸̛̬̪̟͔̞̍̔͒̍ ̸̨̹̉͛͒͑͗d̷̨͙̳̟̭̓̃͌͝e̵̛̛̘̓́͘m̶͈̰̆̐ȯ̴̡͙̙̘̱́̕͝n̸̳̄ ̵̣͝s̴̻̼̞̑̑̂͛ͅi̸͔̳̓͘t̴̢̨̥̙͌ͅt̸̜̹̬̖̦͂̈́i̶͛̄̈́ͅn̴̢̫̝̠̬̂͐g̷̖̤͔͇͝ͅ ̸̙̙͚͈͖̌̌̇͛̕ő̵̻͖̭̽̈́n̶͖̙̊̓̈ ̵̨̨̪͈̒̑͂h̵̺̫͈̠̟͋̃̿͒̓ì̸͇͚̝̟̃̋͐s̸̢̙̘̳̋̀̊͂ ̵̨̼̌̓b̶̡̀̂͠ǎ̴̱̝͋̍͘č̷̙̒̇̒k̵͉̿ . . .

She jolted herself awake from her daze, nearly falling herself off of her paper filled desk. Her eyes hastily blinked away the blurriness from her vision, her hands rubbing the eyelids to quicken the process before straightening her glasses. She soon noticed her coworker friend was looking at her with a bit of worry. His accent heavy as she spoke in English.

"Is everything alright, Lenny? Are the patients being too much for you?"

It was obvious that Ludvig was worried about her. She couldn't help but give a weak but reassuring smile to him.

"Uh, kyllä- I mean yes, I'm okay. Haha, and no, the kids are doing their best, it's expected they will be. . .brash, in this line of work. It's just. . . I was just going down memory lane a bit. ."

Helen could see the coworker softening to a sympathetic look.

"Ah, jag förstår. I hope they were sweet ones?"

Her eyes squinted only just a bit before nodding.

"Yea. . .most of them at least."

She would soon stand herself up straight as she collected the necessary documents to bring to the Head Doctor.

"Sorry Luv, I need to head out soon before I do my daily check up on Berry. Would you like to have coffee together with Hans later on break?"

She received a quick nod before they give each other a wave goodbye, both of them focusing back on their work soon after.

Additional Notes:

Helen's cherry accessory is usually a headwear or an earring, a reminder of her cherished friendship she had lost.

Just like Berry, she can also see paranormal spirits and entities. A big reason her parents want her to follow their footsteps to become an exorcist.

She doesn't recognize Schatten as they don't have a fixed form. She does felt something familiar about it however.

She tends to bring packets of fruit or snacks to the children on weekends to help them get used to their psych wards and downing their medicines.

[puppy-pudding]

I know this isn’t necessarily related to shifting. BUT! I wanted to explain and maybe mention a couple things for some motivation for the shifters who are struggling to find the want to keep going on their shifting/manifesting journey!

⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒

To starts off, shifting is easy. Yea, I know you have heard this MULTIPLE times, but it is the truth. Don’t over complicate it! It’s as easy as one, two, three. Quite literally.

belief

consistency

success

I use this ALL the times as a checkbook to get my desires! I mades it up while in the shower, wwwww… (if you are going to take this idea, DO NOT claim it as yours! Give me credit, or don’t post it at all!), — besides that! It’s called the 1, 2, 3 method (usually for my manifestations! But I’ve used it for shifting too!), or you can calls it B.C.S.

To go more in depth— here’s a little explanation!

𝜗  ﾟׅ   ၄ 🍮 ၃  ׅ     𝜚 ﾟׅ

belief: it is literally what you’ve been seeing all over tumblr! Your self-concept is the main key to all of this. Think of it this way… The way you perceive everything. You THINK and SEE the world around you, the 3D, to be like that. So, in return, your world will revolve and show those exact beliefs to be true. It will be like that, since you said so. Now that is cleared up- put that in perspective into whatever you think about your situation: how hard it is to do ___, how long ____ is taking, why won’t ____ happen, etc! Once you are done with that, revise it. Instead of thinking of how hard it is to do whatever, change perspectives: “It is not hard at all, it is easy. I always do ___ and it comes naturally to me.” / “I always have everything come to me quick and efficiently, oh look! I just got a text from ___. And my package was just delivered! This is all so easy!” / “___ already happened, I just experienced that. And I always expect to experience that, whenever I want. Because it will forever be like that.”

𝜗  ﾟׅ   ၄ 🍮 ၃  ׅ     𝜚 ﾟׅ

does that make sense? That was what people call affirming. It’s really plain and simple. Now, there is another thing that is important! The ‘C’ word.

𝜗  ﾟׅ   ၄ 🍮 ၃  ׅ     𝜚 ﾟׅ

consistency: Ding Ding Ding! You seemed to forget to do something? What was it? It was stay consistent and dedicated. You can’t keep having something if you aren’t consistent, can you? You can’t keep your dream job if you aren’t consistent at working at it? How will you stay famous if you don’t keep making your fans happy? That’s the point. With consistency, comes stability. What do I mean by this? Well, it all ties back to B. Belief needs constant confirmation. How? Let’s brain dump for a second. You consume a lot of this “shifting” and “manifesting” content every day. You also consume a lot of what you BELIEVE and/or think is right and you like. It’s how the social media algorithm works! The more you like something, the more likely it’ll show up. And the more you consume that, the more you’ll think about it. The more you think about it, the more you’ll want to consume. And the more it’ll show up. It’s a cycle. Now, that sounds… pretty familiar? It is, and should be. It’s exactly how consistency works. If you use social media, TikTok, even tumblr—! You should know that the more you like, or the more you follow people with related topics, the more it’ll show up. If you affirm consistently, the belief will become more solid. More stable. Your subconscious is the foundation of your reality, of your relationships, of YOU. So this means, as you’ve seen before, your subconscious can control anything and everything around you. Your beliefs are also the second building block to your subconscious. And being consistent with those beliefs and principles, will make your subconscious mind warp and change your reality into those beliefs. The more you affirm, even if it’s just a couple sentences each day, it’ll give you want I call ‘S’.

𝜗  ﾟׅ   ၄ 🍮 ၃  ׅ     𝜚 ﾟׅ

Now, there is the last thing! The letter S.

𝜗  ﾟׅ   ၄ 🍮 ၃  ׅ     𝜚 ﾟׅ

success: Now that has happened. It’s already there. All of it. You shifting, you manifesting, you changing EVERYTHING in your life. You changing the 3D to match the 4D. That’s all. It’s that easy.

As easy as 1, 2, 3 !

⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒

Things I’ve manifested!

🐾🎀(๑>◡<๑)୭♡ᵎᵎ 

I manifested! (With subliminals + affirming!)

I manifested doll-like beauty with a small, slim dolly babyface with a v-shaped slim, small chin. ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮🐾🎀 ⋅ ☆ I manifested a sharp yet soft jawline that is rounded, free from any fat on the jawline, chin, and neck. ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮🐾🎀 ⋅ ☆ I got a tiny little forehead and short mid-face. I also manifested cherubic, squishy pink cheeks. ୧ ‧���˚ 🍮🐾🎀 ⋅ ☆ I manifested skin that is clear, pristine, beautiful, and youthful, free from wrinkles, smile lines, and skin creases. The skin tone I got is complemented by a rosy pink undertone. ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮🐾🎀 ⋅ ☆ Standing at 4’8”, I manifested a tiny body frame. I got a low BMI with a petite waist and small shoulders. I manifested a flat chest, cute heart-shaped thigh gap, and slim calves. I also got thick, soft thighs and small feet. ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮🐾🎀 ⋅ ☆ Lastly, I manifested a blush on joints, shoulders, and knees.

If you want to know anything else about how I did it, just send an ask! I can also send my playlist! (I need to revamp it, since some of the creators got deleted wwwww… ⸝⸝ •́  ࿁  •̀ ⸝⸝)

[icewindandboringhorror]

finally finished all of one character's entire quests/optional dialogue/questions/etc.... 100,000 words... .... aughhh

[makeitlookdecent]

face

[sysig]

Wake up somewhere better, maybe (Patreon)