#To get revenge on Kyoya once I took a picture of his messy sleeping face and posted it to the Host Club page

[kakusu-shipping]

I’ve been self indulging in rewriting my old Ouran Highschool Host Club Self-Insert for two days now and I’ve decided to write it down cause it’s another one of those Self-Inserts that has a descent story with it.

So, he’s trans, 1. As a child his name was Nanami, and “she” was to be Kyoya’s arranged bride. The two knew each other from Kindergarten and got along decently, as much as you can with cold stone Kyoya. “She” also knew Mitskuni and Takashi at a young age, because “her” parents ran a candy and baked goods company, very large time.

In Early Middle School, 1st year, before Tamaki, Nanami’s family moved to America to widen the business. “She” and Kyoya kept in touch because that’s the kind of guy Kyoya is, and “she” was, at the time, the person he was closest too. The bickered like typical siblings.

In America “She” became He and even adopted an American boy name, Emile! He loved his knew title and, even if his parents weren’t all for it, got top surgery and delved more and more in Sexuality and Gender identity.

With his new identity, he returned to Japan, without his parents, and lived with Kyoya.

(This is where I’m gonna switch to I/we pronouns because it’s a self-insert)

Living with Kyoya was the same, we still bicker like siblings and I call him a perverted old man constantly.

First day back to school everyone’s a buzz about “someone” returning from America. Tamaki is curious and when he’s told it’s a girl, he’s addement about being the first to welcome “her” back to the school.

Kyoya, as the Vice President, and the Class President (who’s a manga only character and I can’t find her name), start the class of welcoming the new student. The Class President is tripped up when she looks at her paper and sees an English name. Unsure how to say it, she pauses, in which Kyoya is instead the one to say my name.

Everyone is, of course, surprised when a boy walks into class and introduces himself as Emile, previously Nanami. 

The girls in the class on in an uproar, as we were all previously in the same elementary school, asking if I’m cross dressing. After a brief explanation of what Transgender is, everyone’s cool with it. Tamaki makes a slip here and there for the first day, and continued to get death glares from Kyoya and eventually gets his pencil snapped in half over it.

Tamaki expects to be able to talk over how Kyoya’s acting weird at the club meeting today but, SURPRISE! I’m there too. In fact, Kyoya has a job for me. But first! Presents!

The Twins, who I don’t know and they don’t know me, demand their gifts first. Luckily, Kyoya told me about everyone already, so I have gifts for them and the others I haven’t met.

For the twins, they both get a ball on a string catching game thing, because Kyoya said they like games and commoner toys. They same it’s lame but start playing anyway. (And have it mastered by the next day)

For Hunny next, cause he came asking next, a stuffed bunny with a bag of chocolates!

For Mori (whom I have had the biggest crush on for years), a Woodlen animals of Northern America encyclopedia. Inside the first page is taped a small keychain of a Tanooki.

For Haruhi, based on Kyoya’s recommendation, coupons! Most of them are for food stores that are in both America and Japan. “Kyoya said you like food and saving money!” is the only explanation. Haruhi blames Kyoya.

And finally, for Tamaki, a collection of “Blind Bags” from Walmart. Little Commoner toys where you don’t know what you’ll get till you open them.

Kyoya already got his present, which was a DVD collection of some of the worst American Movies I could find. Bad as in bad jokes. This is Kyoya’s sense of humor.

Now, for my job. I’m not a host. Not good at it, too socially anxious and clumsy and dumb. Instead, Kyoya puts me in charge of serving. In case a host runs out of cakes or tea/coffee, it’s my job to deliver more. I also make the sweets because, you know, bakery family. This, of course, saves money. As Kyoya says.

I wear roller scates and deliver wherever needed, along with check the list to make sure everyone’s at the right tables and on time.

I’m very bad at the “Which one is Hikaru Game”, even without the hats, in a 50/50 chance, I get it wrong 90% of the time. Th boys don’t pick on me too hard though because I’ll almost always beat them to the punch on calling myself stupid. The first time they called me dumb and I agreed with them, Mori got up from his table, took the hat Hikaru wears for the game, hit them both with it, then lightly smacked me over the head, “Don’t call yourself stupid. The game’s rigged.” And left.

Also, I wanna say right now, Hunny and Kyoya are the same level of intelligence, and have the same sense of humor when it comes to messing with people. So, as they know Mori and I like eachother, they’re getting in the way of that. Just enough to make it fun.

One time, after being mistaken for a girl a lot in one day, I was doing the dishes in the kitchen area of the club room, and Mori came in to try and cheer me up. As he was doing this, outside the room, Kyoya and Hunny were playing Rock-Paper-Scissors to decide who gets to go in and break it up.

Haruhi’s class went to Kyoto to see Temples because, you know, the class likes to do commoner things. And OBVIOUSLY Tamaki drags the rest of us along because Haruhi cannot go anywhere without him.

We rented three rooms, becuase Tamaki thought it’s a part of the trip to share rooms with friends. Kyoya suggested I take the third room alone, but I don’t like sleeping by myself. Mori presents sticks in his hand, whoever gets sticks of matching numbers share rooms.

Mori... Isn’t a very smart man, but still tried to rig it. He placed the 2 stick in front of himself and Me so we’d pick the same room, and the 1 stick in front of Hunny and Tamaki so they’d share a room. Seemed simple. But OH NO. After I picked the 2 stick Mori planned for me, Kyoya went next and immediately reached for the stick in front of Mori. You could see the immediate panic on Mori’s face, and while it would be funny to ruin Mori’s carefully thought out plan, Hunny shook his head to tell him no. So he took Tamaki’s instead.

We ended up swapping rooms the second night anyway because Hunny and Kyoya thought that’d be more fun, and Tamaki kept complaining about being in a room alone.

Also on this trip we went to The Kiyomizu-Dera temple and learned about the old “leap of faith” myth. The tour guide asked us what our wish would be, and we both wished to cure all illness. We immedetly started talking how sense we have the same wish, only one of us as to jump to get it, but Kyoya came over to tell us if we BOTH jump, it raises our chances of getting a wish by 50%. We did the math and that’s like!!! 100% chance of getting our wish granted!!!

They twins had to physically restraint Tamaki from jumping, while Mori simply picked me up. Kyoya thought it was funny. Haruhi was very tired.

Also while we were there I followed a bird halfway across town while no one was looking like a toddler and called Kyoya crying because I was lost and couldn’t see the temple. Luckily he puts GPS tracking on everyone’s phones and was able to find me.

Haruhi asked me once to explain LGBT+ to her, because her father is a Trans woman and she doesn’t fully understand that. He still goes by he/him pronouns and Father because he doesn’t want to try and replace Haruhi’s mom, obviously.

So one day after school I got to her house with all my reference books to talk to her about it while her dad’s out. And, of course, we can’t have a meeting on our own, the rest of the club tags along.

After talking about Gender, we also talk about Sexuality. I use my own Asexual as an example, then the fact Kyoya’s Bi and Tamaki is Pan. Except. Tamaki doesn’t know what Pansexual means, so I have to explain and he agrees. 

After also proclaiming Karou as Bi, Hikaru is immediately confused because not even he knew this?? Karou came out to me because he also didn’t know much about LGBT and wanted to explore himself more. Hikaru asks me if he’s Bi too and I tell him I can’t speak for other people. “But you spoke for Tamaki!!” “Kyoya gave me permission to speak for Tamaki because he would have never figured it out on his own.”

We figure out in this meeting Hunny is the only Straight in the entire group. He’s also the only one currently dating anyone.

Haruhi reflects on the Non-Binary parts of the conversation and asks to barrow a couple of books.

At the end of this long self insert story thing, I’ll put that, like other Self-Inserts, I latched onto ships that are canon in this universe, unless I meet other Self-Shippers of this Fandom.

Me - Mori.

Hunny - Reiko

Kyoya - Tamaki

Haruhi - Ritsu

I know Haruhi and Tamaki are the canon ending of the manga, which is my favorite manga btw, but I love Kasanoda too much. He’s very cute and while he DOES get a happy ending in the manga as well I just... I just want him and Haruhi to be happy.