#To delete? I probably shouldn't be this personal on a public platform.

[aeolianblues]

personal 2024 wrapped

Met some dear Tumblr friends, moved house thrice, did a film festival red carpet, was sort of homeless for a week, fell out with a friend and it is still awkward and will continue to be, got my first press pass, won a radio award, graduated (how tf did I nearly forget that), attended my first crazy st. pads house party thanks to housemates, hid a couple of inexplicable times from said housemates bc the music got too loud, went to my first proper music festival though not a camping one, travelled 7h to see one band, travelled to see more bands then I have ever in my life, got employed, had my first proper 'holy fuck, what a creep and loser' experience, met some more really dear friends irl, had so many people, some who were not long ago complete strangers be so so unbelievable kind to be and I think that's what I'll remember most from this year, had my first major medical procedure, had my dentist get really mad at me mid-surgery, (survived), had someone tell me if I worked for the CBC I would 'fix everything' (sigh, don't give a fella hope), sent a lot of scary emails, actually got quite a few unbelievable interviews and talked to some incredible people, I now have one of the few verbal records of Montreal's punk rock riot of 1979 told first-hand by the guy that caused it, met my family again after so long, had my first (and apparently second??) grey hair (unrelated) (related to the housing thing and that was when I truly understood how connected being comfortable was to both physical and mental health), presented at a live gig, rawdogged two foreign languages in their native places, attended my first-ever club night— and danced too! (To post punk music), had last-minute nostalgia and fomo and decided against moving out of my small city into the biggest one, finally started a music website and harbour mad hopes of being a music journalist again, got invited to a music business conference, met this girl who was also getting fucked by this school and city's housing disasters and tried to help, she eventually dropped out because she couldn't find housing and went back home but she's going to a better uni now and she sent me such a kind message about helping her that I cried on a public bench (and I'd do it again!! Help, I mean. This city needs to sort its housing policy out), got hugged quite a bit actually and in general was shown so much live and kindness and that's what I'm taking with me into 2025. People gave me do much of their time, it meant so much to me. The hour-long calls. Picking up my phone at 2 AM. Thinking of me as the first person to call when heartbroken over a breakup at 1 am. Running to me with the good news. Being there for me. Travelling how many hundred, thousand kilometres to be with me. Was severely underslept but that's livin la vida loca. I'll try and be a better sleeper this year, as I'm getting older, the leeway my body can give me for staying up all night and sleeping quite little will reduce if I want to live. Earlier nights for earlier mornings. More sleeping within 20 minutes of being home rather than somehow wasting an hour after a 2 AM-night out and we'll still be fine. Still a little young, right?

The first half of the year was harrowing but I'm glad I went through it to get to the good parts, because I wouldn't have missed those for the world. I was buoyed by the love and kindness shown to me and that's what I cling to and will remember.

[hcfiles]

"And answering your question, if I am proven wrong it will be OK and nice. At least, one way or another, we will have answers to many of the questions we have seen for years and he will have a chance (maybe) to get rid of the negative publicity and the bad luck and energy Natalie brought him."

I dont know on what platforms you are but where I am there is non, at least not anymore. Henry and Natalie are not a threat to anyone, they dont harm anyone. And answering another question of yours...PR relationships do exist but when have you ever heard of a PR relationship that included a Baby? That's why I dont believe you ever actually like Henry because a real fan ( former fan included) would never think that about him. PR relationship isnt that big of a deal in Hollywood but a baby sure is. If you think both, their families and friends would lie about something so big then you must be a real hater there is no other way. You also believe Natalie is lying about her job right? But why does she get invited to Events? Why was she invited to the Wonder Women in Entertainment panel at Comic Con? Why was she on Film Sets? Why are Actors, producers and writers following her? Why was she invited to the Dune Premiere? Explain please. And if she really works where she claims she works then maybe you are not right about them as a Couple because she is not what YOU think she is. She has a past like everyone else has but it doesnt mean shes the same person that she was when she was 16. She grew up.

When have I heard of a fake baby? Recently, with Beyoncè. She was on a TV show with a fake baby belly that was denounced when she made a move to sit. I'm not a hater. I just know Hollywood is famous for arranging fake baby bellies and fake marriages, especially when the actors are gay.

I suppose Natalie never left Legendary. That's why she is on film sets and gets invitations. Also, "dating" a celeb helps. Actors, producers and writers now follow her because she probably works for Legendary, was announced to be a celeb girlfriend and following one another is part of the business. It's a promotional move. Tell me, who was Natalie Viscuso before Henry Cavill? Do you know? And don't come with what you read during the last four years. Have you heard of her prior to Henry Cavill? No!

Yes, I might be wrong about everything and Henry and Natalie are the pigeons of the century. But, isn't it strange to announce the future mother of his son before checking and cleaning her IG, before coaching her for public appearances? No? Shouldn't she be as elegant as the gent she's dating? At least be prepared for the public appearances before being announced? No? So, why so many lies about the woman and why delete almost her entire IG? I thought he was proud of his woman.

[pebblysand]

on violent threats

context: see @photomatt 's page

i have said this before but i will say it again: there is a small but very vocal crowd of people on the left who are currently choosing violent methods of protest, including sending online death threats to people they believe to be harmful to an identity/fight they themselves support. this is particularly the case (because i think it's important to state it clearly) with trans rights activism. and, i think it's important to talk about it.

now, as a disclaimer, i support trans rights. because i have more than two brain cells. trans women are women and trans men are men. this isn't the issue. as another disclaimer, it is evident that violent threats are illegal in many jurisdictions, and that many online platforms choose to moderate hate speech to the best of their ability. this is also not the issue. what i'm writing about below is what is morally and ethically justified, rather than legal or illegal. i'm also not writing about online content moderation because while i'd have loads to say about this, it is beyond the scope of this post.

now, as you can probably see from his page, the CEO of tumblr is in the middle of a shit storm for suspending the account of a trans woman who, amongst other things, made public statements falling under tumblr's content moderation policies, namely saying she hoped he'd die in a car crash. i think we can all agree that this isn't nice. on a personal level, having been on the receiving end of similar death threats/posts last may (not that tumblr did anything about it), i know first-hand how damaging those can be for the person on the receiving end. it makes you paranoid. it is scary and hurtful. i also know that simply by posting this post, i am further potentially exposing myself to a resurgence of these. but i also think the below needs to be said and the following question deserves to be answered:

is it right for trans activists to be sending online death threats to people they perceive as being transphobes right now?

i think there is a tendency, for people on the left who consider themselves 'educated' and 'not crazy' to dismiss this extremist fringe. we want to believe we are 'better than this' and that even if violence and threats of violence is a method routinely used by the right, we shouldn't ever lower ourselves to their level. we believe that violence is never right, and we see it as something that will ultimately hurt the causes that we support. i've already talked about this in another post but back in the middle of my own shit storm, i was very hesitant to even say where all the hate i was receiving was coming from. i responded to some of the anons, but initially deleted all the ones i got which were explicitly referencing trans rights. i kept thinking that if i said anything, it would inevitably hurt the cause and reflect badly on all of those who fight for trans rights and acceptance online. because i think we all know that the left is held to a much higher standard than the right in terms of 'distancing' itself from the violence of its most extreme members. and that one anon can be enough to discredit the whole cause in the eyes of some people.

having however reflected on that, i think it's important to acknowledge that, despite what a lot of people on the left seem to think, this use of violence by the most extreme fringes of the left is actually not new. violence and violent threats aren't and have never been the monopoly of the right. historically, many social fights and injustices have been fought and won in blood by forces considered 'left' wing. i have also written about this. at the time, these forces were more focused on things like racial justice, territorial independence, and economic (socialist and communist) struggles, but they have existed, dating as far back as the french revolution. there is a very legitimate argument to be made that historically, violence is necessary to obtain social progress. this debate actually isn't as easy as simply saying: 'violence is never okay.'

the problem with anonymous online death threats, though, is that they aren't designed to fight for a cause, they are designed to scare the victim and obtain revenge. in war, there is a very real difference between dropping a bomb on a site filled with military supplies and killing ten soldiers as a collateral, and dropping a bomb on a family home and making the same number of victims. one is advancing your position in a conflict, the other scares a population into compliance.

with online death threats, it's all very similar. looking at the case at hand, which is trans activism, i don't believe that a single trans activist sending death threats to someone like JKR believes they will change her mind. what they want is to make her feel the way they feel, as trans people who are currently being threatened by transphobes. it is an understandable urge, a human urge, but it is the definition of wanting revenge and to incite fear.

additionally, with online death threats, there is the added factor that the victim of that fear, the person on the receiving end of the threat, is encouraged not to ever respond and/or talk/do anything about it. allegedly, because responding to the anon or retweeting the threat or interacting with it in any way only gives the threat more of an audience and 'attention.' secondly, if the person receiving the threat is famous/rich, because there is a power imbalance in terms of social media clout between the sender of the threat and the receiver. the typical example of this is, again, trans activists sending hate to JKR, her retweeting it, then transphobes going in to harass these accounts as a consequence. i've seen a lot of people argue that celebrities shouldn't be allowed to reblog tweet these threats because they are being unfair to the senders.

aside from the fact that arguing the latter point is absolutely INSANE and that if you're out there playing keyword warrior sending death threats to people you don't know you should be ready to face the consequences of your actions, this culture of secrecy only isolates victims of online hate more. when i ended up on the receiving end of death threats from trans activists myself and i responded to these threats, i received a lot of messages from my friends and followers expressing support. that made me feel less lonely. had i just deleted these from my inbox, i'd have been the only on seeing these, and thus not only scared but also lonely. this is why i am so opposed to this culture of secrecy.

but coming back to the original question, i believe that the problem with violent techniques we're seeing at the moment isn't that they're violent, it is the reason why violence is being invoked. when violence is only aimed at inciting fear and obtaining revenge, historically, there is evidence to the fact that that kind of violence does not work. this method has been trialled and tested by every authoritative government ever, and every single one has eventually failed. you always reach a point where fear isn't enough to prevent a rebellion. and the left loves this idea when it comes to uprisings and revolutions, but it forgets it as soon as it is trying to push for progress. because let me tell you: if you think you can scare transphobes into compliance, you are mistaken. just like they are mistaken when they think they can scare you into compliance.

because the issue is that fear does not breed social progress, it breeds hatred. and, as someone who actually still follows JKR on socials, i have seen this first-hand. the level of hatred she exhibits now towards trans people is on a completely different level, compared to the one expressed in the original essay in 2020. and this is because a) she in turn now feels the very human urge to get revenge and hurt those who hurt her but also b) being on the receiving end of such violence can actually give you the illusion that you are in the right. that you are the one being silenced and oppressed. it is undeniable that she has radicalised herself in her positions in the past four years, and i would argue that is in direct correlation to the amount of hate she has received.

and, putting the JKR issue to the side for a minute, it is also important to note that objectively speaking, these people sending death threats and pretending to be trans activists are fucking stupid. there, i've said it. because, even if you do want to scare people, even if you do believe in inciting fear, what the fuck are you doing sending death threats to Matt Mullenweg?! he's a tech CEO! have you seen the people who work in tech?? i'd say half his employees are LGBTQIA+. of course, he's not transphobic. just like i obviously am not. what are you doing sending death threats to ME for?! i'm a millennial idiot writing a semi-popular harry potter fanfiction on the internet - is this really who you're fighting this big social justice fight against? the level of cowardice disguised as courage is staggering. the merits of sending death threats to JKR are somewhat arguable given her level of power and funding and the fact that she is openly transphobic, but some of the targets these people pick make me think that they do not have two brain cells.

so, to answer the main question: is it right for trans activists to be sending online death threats to people they perceive as being transphobes right now? it's obviously not, but not because violence is wrong, but because this particular type of violence is stupid. and i think these people know this. because i think they're not really trans activists. they're people who are actively trying to sabotage the trans cause. they are people who don't see violence as a means to an end but as a thrill in itself. they aren't the climate activists who break into nuclear power plants to show their vulnerabilities and neutralise a couple of police officers to do it. they are the people who stay at the back of demonstrations with the intent of breaking everything, not to make a point but just for the hell of it. and there is also a very real possibility that these people are actually transphobes trying to make real trans activists look insane.

and this is what matters in all of this.

[peppertaemint]

I don't know if you've seen the new pic Kibum posted, but if you're online I'm sure you've seen the drama about it now...

I don't get it though, usually Key will say himself when he posts something if it shouldn't be shared, so I wonder if even he didn't see a problem with it at first? Why is one picture such a problem? Is Taemin not allowed to exist in public while enlisted?

This isn't a dig at Baekhyun cause I'm glad he was able to do these things, but didn't he have youtube videos coming out while enlisted? And I know he was all over his verified twitter all the time? How is just one picture different than that? Is it cause of the platform? Even though its not Taemin's bubble and he makes no money from it? Would their be so much drama if it had been posted to instastories?

I saw people saying there were articles, but there were articles written when Taemin went to Keys show?

I dunno where I'm getting with this, other than enlistment is confusing, I hope Key and Taemin in particular are okay, and I can't wait for this overlong awful enlistment to be over...

Hi Anon.

I have Bubble so I received the scolding directly via text! That was a shocker, lol. I'll give you my unvarnished opinion on this but as a warning, I'm going to be brutally honest about all of it. You're asking completely legit questions here.

The situation is nuanced, and I think for a lot of fans just the idea that they did something Kibum didn't like and felt the need to tell everyone off about was enough to either upset them or make them scared and 'fall in line." I deleted the posts I made and then I reflected because I never share Bubble content. But this time I made an exception — why did I do that? Because EVERYONE did.

So this is my opinion (don't take it as gospel because I have no access to anyone's thoughts). I think Key misjudged the reaction to that photo and how berserk everyone would go. He sees Taemin all the time; we haven't seen his entire face since his birthday in 2022 (lol). And, we've had virtually no communication from him in almost two years. "We" went nuts. Can anyone blame us? No. But Bubble is a paid service, and Kibum always reminds us not to share his shit. I never share anyone's shit publicly anyhow, but again it was ubiquitous, so I joined in. See the problem?

He had every right to get mad and remind of his boundaries and Bubble policy (there are financial penalties you can face for sharing stuff too btw). I also think he probably felt remorse over sending it in the first place since he likely misjudged what would happen. Is it all about breaking Bubble policy? No. And I don't think it's all about him being annoyed at fans breaking his trust either.

Baekhyun did have a personal YouTube account that he setup himself to use to communicate with fans during enlistment. It's my understanding he did this as a way to keep in touch without it having any links to promo/work. But, do you remember how he had to delete it all, and then he came online to tell us it's okay etc? I think that SM caught wind of extra scrutiny on people doing civil service enlistment, and it was a precaution. I also think this is why they've cooled it on Taemari, and it could be one of many reasons why Taemin stopped doing any posts at all. I'm not saying it's THE reason, but I think it's likely a factor.

There is a lot of criticism of celebrities who do civil service enlistment, and that criticism was present before the investigation involving Ravi and others came to light. People have been criticizing the option for years, saying it's how celebrities get out of doing "actual" service (let's put aside arguments about why that's wrong/insane, etc). Instead, put yourself in Taemin's shoes. He started service one way and is finishing it another. Wouldn't you want to avoid public ire and scrutiny over how you're spending your time in enlistment, ie. "living it up" etc. In my opinion, that's the worry over the photo being everywhere and now in news articles.

Why is the concert different? He went with Lee Soo-Man on the non-Beyond Live day as a private citizen, he kept his face covered the entire time—he even dressed low key. I have the same shirt that he wore (lol, imagine my surprise) except it's the branded version. He wore the non-branded version. Though he did have a Prada bag so maybe my argument falls apart but it wasn't like, in your face, was it? Anyhow, I hope you'll see my point. When he went to that soccer game, Jimin and Sungwoon were also there but they were in a fancy box. He did not sit in the box - he was just with the regulars in the stands. It wouldn't look so good to be in a fancy private box when you're supposed to be serving in the military, would it?

When Minho served, whenever he called Taemin he said he could never show his face. He was allowed to call him on VLives (or comment, lol) but he said specifically he can't show his face. They even argued about it. To bring this full circle, Bubble is a paid promotional, parasocial service. Even though for Kibum, sharing the photo is "private," it's still part of his work as an idol. So technically Taemin was in paid content. Is it a big deal? I really don't think it is (also is he definitely not discharged already?! o.O) so no one should feel sad or bad or whatever. Next time anyone shares anything on Bubble, I know it won't get shared. That's just how the fans roll. There's a level of respect here that is a breath of fresh air tbh.

Why is Baekhyun on Twitter whenever he wants but we don't hear from Taemin often? Personal choice. And that's a choice to be respected. It's not our business unless he chooses to share. Existential perspectives aside, we're part of "work" and the man is not in work nor getting paid for it right now, so he doesn't need to do shit. lol.

[sincerely-krp]

yall be on here talking bout missing oc rps on this platform but when an oc rp opens up yall ghost it? peep at glorytv's blogroll… admin gave yall an event yet there ain't nobody writing in there // thats likely because whether it was deleted or not at this point, this blog (sincerely-krp) let someone link it with risehq and was just going to be okay with posting that accusation until I said something in their inbox about linking rps to drama/toxicity without proof. so it could be DoA due to that. /

i'm just going to point this out, i don't think glorytv is doing well because the premise is not really what the majority of au krpers are looking for. it sounds like au krpers joined the place then got bored, which isn't the krp's fault it's just a byproduct of fast food krp. i think it's probably more likely to consider that as opposed to sincerely's blog having that much weight. especially seeing that they had a valid reason to post and then stop the conversation that had nothing to do with anything public on the blog. it's a sticky slope because we have to trust that sincerely is being honest about people dming them, but the last two times we questioned them not only did they blatantly prove the people accusing them wrong, they managed to give themselves more credibility for curbing toxicity that the admins or community tried to propogate which is not... ideal, idk.

we have proof they're honest, we can check them, as i think we should, every now and then to make sure they're continuing to be honest, but this defaulting to sincerely's blog being why au krps shut down before considering the other logical threads feels tired.

we keep running into issues like this where we assume something on this blog is baseless so it's why bad things happen or they're censoring people's opinions but time and time again the admins have been able to point out that they made their decision because of what privately was brought to them. this isn't me saying we shouldn't question them, only that maybe we shouldn't default to assuming this blog is operating on a 'oops we got caught so we fixed it!' basis, and maybe start considering that it's the fact that they listen to feedback that matters.

i'm also not saying to trust the shit on this blog, like fr PLEASE don't, and use your judgement. i'm specifically talking about the assumption that a couple bad things about a krp on sincerely is enough to shut a whole krp down, without the krp having a significant hand in it. because if a krp is gonna interact with sincerely they can just get the incorrect asks taken down, and if they can't disprove the ask, then it's probably generic enough people will overlook it.

this did happen with rise, the only ask about rise was taken down from the blog less than 24 hours later, and then like a whole week out of nowhere there was a shit ton of tea because rise mentioned sincerely on their admin blog. they had like so many people talking to sincerely but we, the audience, saw none of that until they pushed sincerely to discuss it. that too to take the heat off of someone they knew the admin knew was innocent, and they could tangibly see, in their inbox, was being shit on due to the admin's post. when people didn't take sincerely's word for it they had to post censored versions of horrible things being said about that one person, which is proof that they try to keep private things... well, private.

rise, in contrast to the rupes issue, where it was obvious an insidigm person was around, but once sincerely shut them down we didn't see any influx of toxic paradigm asks out in the open. they also only posted that proof because someone questioned them, and now private stuff about a member of rupes is out here for everyone to see. i personally think both this situation and the rise situation caused harm to the victims because we pressed sincerely. i do think they were necessary, because in both situations sincerely operated the way they told us they do, but the rp community itself was extremely active in one issue, and in the other, they weren't even here. we all saw how that reflected on the blog; the situation with insidigm and rupes passed super easily without issue or toxicity that was unnecessary, even THOUGH sincerely said no insidigm or rupes members reached out to them. meanwhile, the rise issue dominated the blog only because the admin tried to blame sincerely, and then parts of their community continued to fight on this blog (which, if everyone recalls, resulted in them basically posting the shit on the ask they asked sincerely to take down that sincerely continued to censor themselves).

and now with glorytv there was an assumption that the admins just passed whatever to be posted on the blog and then took it down willy nilly when there was a reason why. i've noticed asks from the mp situation gone but my default isn't to think SINCERELY HAS AN AGENDA AGAINST ME AND FOR MP it's to assume an mp mun talked to sincerely and sincerely removed the asks accordingly.

like if they really aren't in the krps themselves, i'm willing to cut them some slack on what they post as long as they're swift about taking them down when shown proof. i also think that while the systems are flawed they're working on them, and they pretty much do whatever us, the community, agrees to do when presented with decisions on what to allow or not allow on the blog.

as far as vent blogs go, i think we should just start considering the facts that we, as critical thinkers can see. as long as we maintain a healthy level of skepticism, we can probably be more productive. they've been clear they don't actually care, they do what they need to for their own blog, which means they're inherently toxic because they know they leave things on this blog that are untrue but couldn't be proven so, and i think that itself is helpful to consider because it makes it easier to understand what we'll be seeing on this blog. there are clear instances of this blog helping people and not hurting them, which makes things more difficult to assign moral value.

bottom line: this blog is only as toxic as the muns in the communities being discussed. it's not always on sincerely for allowing something to be posted, it's more on the people behind the scenes communicating with them. we should exhaust those options first before confronting this blog so we can hold the right parties accountable. we can ask sincerely if someone approached them maybe, it sounds like every time they have consent to show proof shared to them they do, so we can ask for what proof was sent, or we can privately dm them if we really need to know about something and see where that gets us.

admin note: we're fine with the things mentioned in the last paragraph! if consent is given to us we have no issues sharing proof given to us either.