#To be clear I'm not saying Rebecca doesn't care for the mc

[nreads]

Honestly if anyone -especially Rebecca- told my more cynical detective that A and her seemed similar to Rebecca and Rook, because of the similarities between Rebecca and A, she'd laugh in their face. For many, many reasons, it's different, but most of all - Rebecca and A put distance between the detective and themselves in two very different ways.

Rebecca says she cares, but hardly ever shows it. Whereas A says they don't care, but they always, always show it.

The detective knows which one she prefers.

[rebsrams]

Book: Open Heart

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Rebecca Valentine)

Warnings: none. Pure fluff. Be prepare to melt. Also, I'm not a native speaker, please forgive any mistake.

Summary: Just what we were waiting for after the Book 2 finale. I mean, still not defining? Oh, Ethan..

Word count: 1,463

@openheartfanfics

A CASE OF YOU (ETHAN RAMSEY X F!MC)

Song: A case of you by her majesty Joni Mitchell

Just before our love got lost you said

"I am as constant as a northern star"

And I said

"Constantly in the darkness, where's that at? If you want me I'll be in the bar"

Ever since they laid eyes on each other, it was immediately clear that in the wretched mess that was Edenbrook hospital and life as a doctor, they would be each other's northern star.

A fixed point in the galaxy.

During certain difficult times, they were even brought to think they were meant to be star-crossed lovers, reminiscing images of canisters, protective suits and plexiglass windows.

Such a romantic view for a life they chose to live, knowing that difficulties and loss were meant to be daily bread.

"...how much I care about you".

The words resonated in her head from time to time, after the accident.

She actually spent the following three days tossing and turning in bed, at night and in the early morning, long before her alarm was going to go off.

She couldn't stop thinking about the patina that the plastic shield screened his tantalizing blue eyes with, which made the confession so difficult to figure out.

Was he caring about her like a friend? A colleague? Something more?

Even after all the moments they shared together, he never got to say what his feelings towards her really were. And so didn't she.

But the affection that exuded from his words was something that could have lighten up the whole room.

Then, just as it is, months passed between a charity gala and difficult cases.

Hands touched, lips met publicly and elegant dresses fell to the ground without second thoughts.

Then, it happened.

She couldn't stand it any longer.

Ethan kissed her in front of the whole hospital more than once, and still he couldn't define what kind of relationship he wanted to have with her.

Soon, she came to realize that it was not about the hospital staff or about jeopardizing anything, it was just about him.

He was absolutely and totally frightened.

To deal with all the demons he tried to drown under a thick layer of resentment and cold indifference over the years.

To push her away, again.

To lose her, once and for all.

Maybe he deserved it, he happened to think.

Well, maybe that's an understatement.

It was actually all that he could think about, completely unaware of the fact that he was hurting her so much more by making love to her and letting her go the morning after, unsure of what his next move will be, leaving her on the ropes.

That night she came into his office from a sixteen hour shift, exhausted.

"To hell with formality", she muttered to herself before entering the room.

"What do you want, Ethan?"

"Good evening to you, Dr. Valentine.

I was wondering if you could check on this test results for a brief... What's the matter?"

He looked up at the doorstep, where she stood arm-crossed with a fallen expression on her face and her thick and curly hair completely disheveled.

"For a brief what, Ethan? Why did you paged me here, at the end of an endless shift? Just to let me praise you and your excellent job? Well, bravo. You already know I have nothing to tell you about it. Now, if you'll excuse me."

She turned to face the door again, letting her words sink in the older doctor behind her.

He, for his part, tried to ignore the sting of pain her words caused in him.

"Rebecca, wait. Please. I just wanted to check on you, to know that you're well. You have to admit you've been quite elusive in these past few weeks. It's not like you."

He saw her stiffen at once and her fists close, making her knuckles become white in the stressful grip.

"It's not like me..." she barely whispered, filling the words with suppressed rage.

"YOU THINK IT'S NOT LIKE ME? WHAT ELSE SHOULD I DO, THEN? ETHAN, FOR FUCK'S SAKE, YOU'RE THE MOST BRILLIANT DOCTOR OF YOUR GENERATION!"

The sudden explosion made him gape to say the least.

She continued to stood there, her curly locks all over her face but not enough to cover her eyes, sparkling with still unspilled tears.

"What are you talking about? Rebs, you know that I'm here. Always. Whatever you need, just talk to me and I'll listen."

His brows forrowed in concern under the squared frame of his glasses; seeing her standing there, on the verge of a breakdown, made his heart clench.

"Oh, of course. You're here. Always." she said, imitating him on the last part.

"Don't you really know what's wrong with me, Ethan?" she continued, her voice barely a whisper.

"It's always like standing in the darkness with you. You can never know what to expect or where to turn. Maybe because you're the one who doesn't know where to turn or what to do with your life.

Just take a dammit road and follow it, for God's sake!" her tone began to rise again, and seeing such a sparkle of wild fire in her eyes made Ethan almost sigh with relief, even if he knew he was the only target of that fire.

Suddenly everything fell into place for him.

He played dumb for all this time, trying to ignore the fact that her personality wouldn't admit his going back and forth much longer.

In that very moment, he really was standing at a crossroad.

And, just like she said, he had to take a road and follow it, for her.

"I would... You know, I... I'd understand if you chose to, well... To back off.

I'm not simple. Like, at all." she let out a nervous giggle, caused by the tension of the moment.

"The situation itself isn't simple at all, and we always knew that. I'm just asking you to get your head together. If not for me, do it for yourself. Please."

Her kindness. Her incredible and absolutely selfless kindness. That's one of the things that made her the brilliant doctor that she was and that he loved the most.

Yes, because he knew that. He loved her.

Deep to his very core. She put down roots in him since the very first day, where she almost screwed everything up during that torachotomy and blood spilled all over her coat.

If there was a thing she didn't deserve, was being treated that way, much less from him.

Given all that, he still couldn't find the breath to emit any sound.

He just stood there, eyes locked with hers, a painful expression on both faces.

"I see. Well, I think I'm done here. I'll see you tomorrow for the test results.

Oh, and by the way... You can find me at Donahue's, if you need to tell me... Anything else."

She knew he understood everything, and despite of it all she was giving him his last chance to make it right.

She close the door behind her, careful not to slam it and let her emotions take control over her.

She quickly wiped the tears that eventually fell, unable to catch the ones already fallen on her coat.

Before she could even notice, she was running out of the building.

Ethan was still there, wiping both hands on his face and under his glasses, trying to examine his own thoughts and intentions.

"Do you want her, you scumbag? Well, of course you do. Then go get her! What the fuck are you waiting for?"

He thought, almost muttering, to himself. Such a colorful language was only used in his thoughts, most of the time referring to himself with some exceptions here and there, referring to the guys flirting with Rebecca. His Rebecca.

Coming to this conclusion was enough to make him stand on his feet, grab his navy long coat and begin to run out of the hospital, forgetting about changing in the locker room or even close the door of his office.

The air was particularly chilly and pricked Ethan's nose, the sensation enhanced by his fast pace.

The door of Donahue's was just a few feet away and his heartbeat began to increase more and more with each step.

He was a grown man, almost entering his 38th year of life.

More than that, he was a doctor, dealing with life and death matters every single day of his existence.

And yet, the very awareness of her presence inside that bar, ready to throw her arms around his neck and be taken home to his apartment, if only he had the guts of pouring his heart out to her, made his heart ponder wildly in his chest.

Pressing lightly on the handle, he stepped in.

Hope you like it. Part 2 will be here soon 💋

Also, I'm a newbie and I'd like to gather a taglist. Please let me know if you'd like to join it!