#Though I did try this vodka from Nova Scotia made from apples and that was pretty good

[babacontainsmultitudes]

OMG YESSS GO OFFFF

Yeah not to respond to your long post with a long post but

😅 Maybe I should preface this by saying that I've been sippin' on vodka so I am writing this a bit drunk, but if you'll humor me,

Firstly, yes, Sparrow is soooo underrated! I lowkey feel like all the hate he gets played into me becoming as obsessed with him as I am over the course of season 2?

But even still, I can honestly pinpoint the exact point at which I became ridiculously concerned with Sparrow's wellbeing, and that was THIS FUCKING MOMENT

In fucking Retail Therapy. I guess it probably wasn't what most people were focused on during this part but oh my god did this little moment hit me like a truck.

It's just- uuuggghh no there's too much to say about this to be able to do so in my current state but wow if the rest of season 1 from this point forward doesn't just SUCK for Sparrow. Literally like all of it is him trying so hard to cheer up his brother and mediate between him and Henry and for what?? For nothing to get better? For Lark to stab Henry??? Not to mention all the little moments of Sparrow being denied his father's love and attention not because Henry didn't love Sparrow to death but because Henry had no choice but to focus on Lark.

And I actually love Lark so much even if I don't talk about him nearly as much, but fuck if he isn't the anchor that's been drowning Sparrow slowly for the past 20 or so years.

AND THE BETRAYAL. The betrayal. Okay yeah the alcohol is hitting me now lmao It's wild to me that after all this time we still don't know for sure whether or not Sparrow knew of Lark's plan before he stabbed Henry, but the implications are fucked and tragic either way. Either he knew, but like Lark he didn't understand the true consequences of carrying out the plan and now he carries the same guilt (or at least a comparable one) with him, surely for the rest of his life- OR, or, he *didn't* know- and that scenario is actually kinda worse I think? Cause like- that Lark- that *Lark* would *use* him that way, *betray* him that way and specifically take advantage of the fact that Sparrow wanted more than anything to reconcile Lark and Henry's relationship and of course accordingly would be thrilled at the prospect of Lark apologizing to Henry and that DESPITE THAT, despite all of that, he still blames himself for the end of the world. Am I making any sense??

Sparrow is marked by betrayal, actually. So is Lark but that's a different post. Lark's betrayal in the aforementioned stabbing incident (depending on the circumstances ig), but also in sleeping with Rebecca. And Rebecca betrayed him here too obviously!

And I see all these posts I love about how Hero is probably Lark's kid- but what I don't see is discussion of the implications for Sparrow. Do you think at 19 years old (if my math is right? Assumed 12 in S1, +25 years into S2, -18 for Hero's age??) Sparrow was ready to have a baby? It's one thing if that was his own doing. But if Hero was/is Lark's? Oh my fucking god. Sparrow's life has changed forever, he's somehow been more stripped of his childhood than he already was, and Lark can't. even. own. up. to. it!!! And it's such a testament to their relationship because Sparrow is *SO* used to holding himself accountable for Lark's shit

And maybe, in a more subtle way, Henry betrayed Sparrow too. I hate giving Henry a hard time because I love him so much, and he tried so hard, and he deserves the world- but I do think he failed his kids. I think in failing to discipline Lark and Sparrow he enabled- well enabled both of them but especially Lark, and in doing so forced the responsibility of accounting for Lark's actions onto Sparrow. Not that Sparrow can bring himself to punish Lark either, but he can spend a lifetime trying to reunite Lark and his father, and he can spend a lifetime living with Lark's mistakes if it means saving him from being completely alone.

But that's not a secret, is it? He says it himself when he's disguised himself as Lark

Henry can't punish Lark. Henry can't punish Lark, so Lark keeps hurting himself, and Sparrow is caught in a perpetual state of trying his best to fix him.

Oh that's another thing- I've seen people interpret this scene as like, "Sparrow was okay with Lark dying on the throne" or what have you. I disagree! I really disagree! I think Sparrow absolutely fucking hates that it's come to this, blames both himself and Henry for it, but ultimately understands that Lark is going to sit on the throne either way- and gets why he has to. He understands that for Lark there's no other option- understands that Lark's guilt runs so deep that he would gladly die if it meant undoing even a fraction of what he's done.

Hence,

But most of all Sparrow was betrayed because he was taught to love. He was taught to love, and every time he loves someone, whether it's Lark, or Henry, or Rebecca, or Normal, it's never enough. It's never enough, and no one ever thinks to love him back.

i have too many thoughts about Sparrow Oak-Garcia that I am barley containing as is.