#Thomas wished on a monkey’s paw

[thebunnylord]

Traintober day 17: Holiday

Percy: hello Thomas! I see your back from your mandatory world trip that Mattel sponsored and enforced

Thomas: yes, yes I am…

Percy: so how was it? Did you get to see the Himalayan Queen in India which holds the world record for steepest rise in altitude? Meet the world’s first commercial high speed maglev train, the Shanghai maglev train? See the Bernina Express in Italy? The highest train in Europe? Meet 3801? Australia’s most famous steam engine? Oh! What about see a re-enactment of the golden spike ceremony and meet the replicas of Jupiter and Union Pacific no. 119 at promontory summit Utah?

Thomas: no, I didn’t get to do anything railroad related at all, instead Mattel had me teach kids about tai chi, kangaroos, tiger poachers, and had me loose my voice while trying to sing opera.

Thomas: which is a shame because our franchise is how a lot of kids get into the train fandom and where they learn about railroad operations and famous British railways such as the great Western Railway, along with being introduced to famous steam engines like the flying Scotsman and the city of truro. Not to mention most of our fandom is made up of autistic kids and it’s no secret that a lot of them have a fascination with trains so we would also be feeding more into their interests by giving them something cool to learn about such as how the San Francisco cable cars work, rather than dumbing things down by teaching them things that they would most likely already know, and we would also appeal to older fans of our show too by expanding our world while staying true to the source material.

Thomas: that, and I was looking forward to doing a run down the SGR in Kenya which has 14 wildlife channels to accommodate migrating wildlife… I don’t even remember what I did in Kenya… but I would have loved to hear about the struggles the workers faced when building the first railroad line through Kenya…

Thomas: oh well, at least I got my wish to see the world…. I guess…

[dndeceit]

Fander Fic Rec Friday (#8)

Halloween Hangover Edition

(Scary, Soft, Sad, and Silly Sides stories to finish off Spooky Season.)

The Is There Anything Left of Patton? series by Adrianainthesnow Post-Apocalypse/Zombie AU (Logicality) Rating: T When Virgil takes shelter from the apocalypse with Logan in his home, he soon learns that the man's late husband is haunting it in more than a metaphorical sense. Notes: I'm an absolute sucker for more hopeful zombie stories, and this is one of my absolute favorite series in that vein. This one starts out heart-wrenchingly sad, but the ending, while bittersweet, is well worth the trek you take to get there.

The iZombie AU by soysaucevictim iZombie AU (Prinxiety, Dukeceit, Intrulogical) Rating: NR It seemed like such a noble cause when he got recruited to the fight against the undead, brain-eating monsters lurking among them. At least until Roman's first target turns out to be his own estranged brother. Notes: Look, more zombies. There's so much in this series. It's morbid and emotional and actiony, dark in some places and funny at others, sometimes both at once, and overall just fantastic.

The Monstrous Roomates series by Willowanderer Supernatural AU (LAMP, Remile) Rating: T-M The interconnected stories of a paranormal polycule and their baffled and baffling ghostly roommate, Thomas. Notes: A long-running series of stories across several eras focused on a universe built around the Sides' monstersonas from Embarrassing Phases, and one that wrings absolutely everything possible out of its premise. At turns funny, fluffy, suspensful and heartbreaking.

Mold by FlowerMeat Canonverse (Gen) Rating: T Something is slowly taking hold of Roman: an infection, an itch that no amount of scratching seems to satisfy... Notes: A very different (and delightfully gruesome) take on how how Remus came to be. Very creepy, very fun (well, not for Roman).

From Time Immemorial by DramaticGarbage Vampire/Soulmate AU (LAMP) Rating: G At the rate at which his timer is moving, Logan doubts he'll ever get the chance to meet his soulmate... That is, until he is attacked one night and suddenly finds that he has all the time in the world to wait. Notes: A softly spooky, romantic story about four soulmates born centuries apart.

Monkey's Paw by alicat54c Canonverse (Gen) Rating: M Remus gets to make five wishes on a monkey's paw to change Thomas's mind to his liking. Notes: A very Remus twist on a classic horror story.

Under the Moon by Iceshard1011 Werewolf AU (Intrulogical, Anxceit, eventual Prinxceit) Rating: T When Remus is bitten by a werewolf, Roman's loyalty is put to the test. With no idea who to listen to and who to trust, he finds himself on the run with his brother, trapped in an endless chase to keep his brother alive. Notes: Or, Roman and Remus's Nightmare Fugitive Roadtrip. This one is a ride, packed beginning to end with suspense, anguish, betrayal and (eventually) forgiveness.

on crimson nights like this by AndTheyreOnFire Supernatural AU (DRLAMP) Rating: T Roman is a werewolf, tired of feeling like a burden to his partners and his brother. The ritual he finds when they search a haunted house one night could hold the answers he's looking for... Notes: Some spooky hurt/comfort with a softly happy ending.

The Creature Under The Bed series by MagpieMorality Supernatural AU (Intruality) Rating: T Remus is a demonic gremlin creature that has fallen madly in love with Patton. And, when Patton is thrown into danger, Remus is willing to fight both the Light above and the Dark below to earn their happy ending. Notes: Utterly strange, cute and terrifying and weirdly romantic.

Unlikely Hero by LeftoverParadox Canonverse (Gen) Rating: E A dangerous entity is unleashed within Thomas's mind: a side calling itself "Reflection", but known to the dark sides as the Mirrorman. When the others disregard Janus's warnings, it falls to Remus to save his fellow sides from themselves. Notes: Not the traditional horror story, but still very effectively terrifying. The Mirrorman is one of the most disturbing and memorable OC sides I've read.

Monster AU by Tapper_PlushieMama Supernatural AU (DRLAMP) Rating: M Logan discovers five men living together under a monstrous curse. Unable to tell him the details of how they were cursed or how to break it, it's up to Logan to try to unravel the puzzle at hand. Notes: Or, Logan gets to solve a mystery and wins himself five boyfriends in the process.

The Night Fellow by Miranda_tries_their_best Cryptid AU (Gen) Rating: T Logan goes in search of the mysterious local cryptid known as the Night Fellow. Notes: Spooky fluff. Cryptid!Virgil somehow manages to be both terrifying and adorable.

Loop by blue_toothache Ghost AU (Gen) Rating: T Logan is the only tenant on the top floor of his apartment building. Or, at least, he thought he was until recently... Notes: A very effectively haunting ghost AU. The rest of the series is also good, but this first fic stands so well on its own.

Afraid of the Dark by Giantsketches Supernatural AU (Intrumoceit) Rating: T So badly afraid of the dark that it's disrupting his sleep, Patton is talked into buying a nightlight. But maybe what hides in the darkness isn't actually all that frightening. Notes: A short, cute fic about cuddling shadow monsters. The adorable artwork is an added treat.

WIPs

Far From Boring by Hoard_of_hyperfixations Post-Apocalypse/Zombie AU (Dukeceit) Rating: M Remus is a zombie with (slightly) more brains than most, and just enough luck to run into the one survivor curious enough not to simply shoot him on sight (and with morals just loose enough to keep his ravenous new companion properly fed). Notes: Yet more zombies. Featuring traumatic family reunions and the glorious indignity that is Remus's embarrassing post-mortem crush on Janus.

Vultures by FlowerMeat Serial Killer AU (Gen) Rating: M The sides are a tightly-knit group of serial killers, each with their own unique methods, and all willing to help the others cover up their crimes. Note: This one is super dark, but still each side's particular MO feels so uniquely them. Patton's chapter in particular is something I'm not likely to forget any time soon...

[6ftkyle]

just saw your post about wanting some questions (hopefully this hasn’t been asked before ;w;) but what is an sp character that’s either been written off completely or doesn’t get as much screen time as compared to others that you enjoyed? + what is a one off character you wish had more than one appearance? <3

oh you're so sweet 😊 you dont have to worry abt asking something ive been asked before! i almost always have more to say than what i post and reign myself in, so being asked again gives me an excuse to say more. im always full of south park thoughts, its in my brain all day.

as for characters i wish had more screen time... 🤔 nichole is the first that comes to mind. i know it's a real monkey's paw situation, wishing for more content of any girl when its being written by... Those Guys, but i just think shes soooo cute and i enjoyed her role in her most recent episode, even if the episode overall was a real fucking stinker that m&t really missed the mark on.

for one off characters, i usually don't get too attached! there's some i like (thomas lpt, bradley gay camp) but i think the things i like about them would be worn out and no longer interesting if they were in more episodes. and like on a selfish level, i dont want them to show up again and contradict my headcanons / fic ideas LOL m&t dont know them like i do at this point 😔

you know what, more than anything i want to see more of those little square imp guys in hell, i think theyre so cute. i even designed one of my neoepts ocs around them bc i love them so much

[swan-swanno]

CRACKS KNUCKLES. Not going fully deep and I'm mostly going by memory but basically- [Spoilers ahead for yall that havent played]

PRE CHAPTERS: Obra Dinn sets off from London with all passengers and crew. The Formosans has a chest with a funky magic shell on board.

I. LOOSE CARGO: Obra Dinn ports at Falmouth. A stowaway hides in one of the barrel cargo. Boom, cargo snaps and fall.

II. A BITTER COLD: Obra Dinn sets sail for its destination. Some crew die of disease.

III. MURDER: Nichols probably knew about the shells and tries to steal the shells from the Formosan chest by knocking one guard out. Nunzio walks on Nichols stealing and gets stabbed. The guard was wrongly accused for the murder and died by firing squad. Later Nichols and his gang makes a run with the stolen chest and held It-Beng Sia and Bun-Lan Lim hostage.

IV. THE CALLING: Nichols and gang gets ambushed by mermaids. The mermaids are stunned after It-Beng Sia opened the chest with the shell but it also kinda killed him. After everyone but Nichols is dead bc he's a coward he brings the mermaids on the boat and rows back to the ship.

V. UNHOLY CAPTIVES: Nichols begs to be forgiven but shot dead by the remaining Formosan guard. The crew brings the mermaids on board but the mermaid shot spikes at them, killing one. They try to bring them down to the lazarette but one smacks the cook dead. Then shit happens with Dahl saying the mermaids are cursed and chops the guy guarding the mermaids killing him. Dahl is punished by being imprisoned in the lazarette.

VI. THE SOLDIERS OF THE SEA: God that's so much death, so the ship turns back for London. Assuming it's because of the mermaids' call, some ghost crab demon things started to attack the ship. Boom more deaths.

VII. THE DOOM: OKAY the crabs are dead Oh Fucking Hell the mermaids called a fucking kraken. Everything is going so wrong.

VIII. BARGAIN: This happened during and moments after THE DOOM. Dahl broke free and killed himself after opening the chest and taking the shells out. Captain Witterel comes in and kills 2 mermaids bc he thinks they caused this. The attack stops. Later the crew were to set the last mermaid free but killed Perrott and he asks the mermaid to see the Obra Dinn back home. They gave the shell to the mermaid and tosses them back to sea. The lazarette is locked shut. Later, before escaping the boat, Henry Evans, the guy who previously owned the Memento Mortem, knew about its powers. So in order for the Inspector to be able to inspect the lazarette, he tosses his monkey there and shot it, so that its death can be linked to the lazarette and that the Inspector can see what happened using the watch and the paw.

IX. ESCAPE: Two things happened here. Some survivors attempt to escape the boat using a lifeboat but was held off. One of them shot the guy before escaping. Under the main deck, Thomas overheard some of the crew planning mutiny, he accidentally alerted them and ran away screaming mutiny. He got stabbed, Davies accidentally shot Olus, Brennan wrongfully thought Davies killed Olus and smacked him dead. Thomas dies from bleeding.

X. THE END: Witterel loses his mind and locks himself in. Hoscut, Brennan and Walker attempts mutiny. Hoscut is shot, Brennan and Walker are dealt with after. Witterel eventually commits suicide.

POST CHAPTERS: The mermaid that was given the shell and freed fulfilled the wish and brought Obra Dinn back to Falmouth. If you noticed something shining in the distance while you investigate the boat, that's the same shine of the cursed shell <3

Real obra dinn fans explain to me the order of events. Like I understand most of the deaths and the overall story just not exactly how things went down and what's up with the monkey

[sssshhhthefilmsabouttostart]

The best and worst films of 2020

Let’s be honest - 2020 was an extremely shitty year for moviegoers everywhere, as the Queen would say an annus horribilis.

Due to the Covid pandemic’s dramatic impact on nearly every facet of human life, cinemas closed, film festivals went virtual and film productions became an intricate mess of insurance and safety challenges.

Yet despite these dire challenges and an unpredictable future, cinema remained very much alive throughout the year, with a wide range of ambitious undertakings snaking their way into whatever form of release seemed viable. Blockbusters receded to the background, allowing a wide range of movies to trickle through an uncertain marketplace that would have been hostile to them even in pre-pandemic times.

So what cinematic gems and unmitigated disasters were dropped upon audiences during the year?

Ladies and gentlemen, may we please offer for your consideration...

HONOURABLE MENTIONS

THE CURRENT WAR - THE LIGHTHOUSE - IN FABRIC - BEING FRANK: THE CHRIS SIEVEY STORY (D) - BOMBSHELL - THE PEANUT BUTTER FALCON - THE SOCIAL DILEMMA (D) - LIGHT OF MY LIFE - THE ASSISTANT - THE LODGE - THE GENTLEMEN - THE WAY BACK - DARK WATERS - 1917 - THE BURNT ORANGE HERESY - THE HUNT

2020′S TOP TEN BEST FILMS

10. THE WOLF OF SNOW HOLLOW

Hot off the critical success of his debut feature ‘Thunder Road,’ writer-director Jim Cummings’ refreshing yet effective take on the werewolf genre amped up the dark comedy whilst delivering quite a few chills. Tinged with realistically flawed characters and clever scares, ‘The Wolf of Snow Hollow’ might not have been your typical werewolf flick but it successfully managed to bring that classic legend to life once again.

9. LET HIM GO

Previously last seen together as Clark Kent’s adoptive parents in ‘Man of Steel,’ Diane Lane and Kevin Costner were reunited onscreen as husband and wife again in writer-director Thomas Bezucha’s neo-Western drama ‘Let Him Go.’ Adapted from author Larry Watson’s 2013 novel, the film featured stunning landscapes, full-blooded moments of sudden violence and compelling performances from Diane Lane, Kevin Costner and, most memorably, Lesley Manville’s turn as a gritty and cunning matriarch.

8. COLOUR OUT OF SPACE

Based on the classic short story by HP Lovecraft and featuring another scene-stealing performance from Nicolas Cage, this clever adaptation was an effective horror film with an unrelentingly grim sci-fi bent. In addition to the truly disturbing and inspired images of queasy body horror, ‘Colour Out of Space’ also marked the eagerly-anticipated re-emergence of filmmaker Richard Stanley (his first time back in the director’s chair since being fired from his 1996 remake ‘The Island of Dr Moreau’).

7. THE INVISIBLE MAN

Who knew a remake could be so refreshing? With this updated take on the H.G. Wells tale, writer-director Leigh Whannell did just about everything right, delivering a tense, clever thriller with touches of both horror and sci-fi. As the fascinatingly flawed yet appealing tough protagonist, Elisabeth Moss gave a captivating performance in a film that was chilling in all the right ways, packed with plenty of twists and a deliciously nasty resolution.

6. THE TRIAL OF THE CHICAGO 7 (NETFLIX)

Whilst the subject matter of ‘The Trial of the Chicago 7′ shared an uncanny relevance to today’s politically charged times, as a gripping courtroom drama with a stellar cast, the film ticked all the boxes. ‘West Wing’ creator Aaron Sorkin put his trademark traits - razor-sharp wit, rhetorical flair and political insight - to very good use in this masterful retelling of the trial following the 1968 anti-war protests outside the Democratic National Convention.

5. HEARTS AND BONES

In his debut feature film, Australian director Ben Lawrence created a spiritually rich and immersive drama about the relationship between a grizzled, broken war photographer and a Sudanese refugee. Whilst Hugo Weaving was note-perfect in his portrayal as a crumbling man wrestling with his past, equally impressive was first time actor Andrew Luri who delivered a quiet yet memorable performance in what was an affecting piece of cinema.

4. TOTALLY UNDER CONTROL (DOCUMENTARY)

Watching a documentary about the COVID-19 crisis in the middle of a global pandemic might not sound appealing but prolific filmmaker Alex Gibney’s latest work was easily the most essential non-fiction film of 2020. Shot safely in secret for five months, ‘Totally Under Control’ played out like a tightly-wound thriller as it placed the Trump Administration’s inept response to the coronavirus pandemic under the microscope.

3. BAD EDUCATION (HBO)

As far as crime stories go, embezzlement isn’t always the most thrilling subject. However, ‘Bad Education’ turned a relatively simple white collar crime story about a New Jersey school administrator caught stealing money into a compelling drama, thanks to an incisive and nimble script and spot on performances from Allison Janney, Geraldine Viswanathan, Ray Romano and especially Hugh Jackman.

2. MANK (NETFLIX)

Director David Finch’s dazzling portrait of Herman J. ‘Mank’ Mankiewicz, the screenwriter who collaborated with wunderkind filmmaker Orson Welles to write the first draft of ‘Citizen Kane,’ was a cinematic jewel from start to finish. Similar to last year’s ‘Once Upon A Time in...Hollywood,’ ‘Mank’ delivered a layered depiction of the filmmaking process, whilst Gary Oldman continued to excel at immersing himself in playing real-life characters, this time as the hard-drinking, intellectual screenwriter.

1. NOMADLAND

Writer-director Chloe Zhao’s intimate drama about an unemployed widow living as a van-dwelling modern-day nomad was a thoughtful, contemplative and reflective piece of storytelling. It may have touched upon mature themes about loneliness, financial instability and restlessness, but ‘Nomadland’ remained an uplifting and hopeful piece of cinema that captured the various bittersweet reasons people choose to live a life on the road.

With an outstanding performance from Frances McDormand, brought to life through the charm of the ‘real life’ supporting cast, great direction and Joshua James Richard’s mesmerising cinematography, ‘Nomadland’ was the perfect film for 2020.

...AND NOW THE WORST!

DISHONOURABLE MENTIONS

VAMPIRES VS THE BRONX - BAD BOYS FOR LIFE - THE OLD GUARD - PROJECT POWER - ISN’T IT ROMANTIC - THE RHYTHM SECTION - WHERE’D YOU GO, BERNADETTE - I’M THINKING OF ENDING THINGS - MIDWAY - YOU SHOULD HAVE LEFT - BABY DONE - FORCE OF NATURE - CAPONE - THE NEW MUTANTS - DOOLITTLE

10. WONDER WOMAN 1984

To quote Red Letter Media’s resident film critic Mike Stoklasa, “this movie was the cinematic equivalent of the Bluesmobile.” Directed by Patty Jenkins, this 80′s-set sequel to the 2017 DC superhero hit was lethargically paced and featured a completely bonkers narrative that made absolutely no sense. Horribly scripted, disjointed and overstuffed (a runtime of 2.5 hours), ‘Wonder Woman 1984′ sadly jettisoned everything that made Jenkins’ original film so compelling. The result? An appalling misfire.

9. THE GRUDGE

A curiously talented and interesting cast were somehow lured into - and subsequently wasted in - this pointless, tired, reboot/revival of the long-running ‘Ju-On’ Japanese-based horror series. Despite director NIcholas Pesce’s attempt to disguise the rudimentary nature of the plot via back-and-forth timeline jumping, ‘The Grudge’ was just a formulaic paint-by-the-numbers meander through a poorly developed story that existed only to prop up a bunch of uninspired jump scares.

8. BIRDS OF PREY (AND THE FANTABULOUS EMANCIPATION OF ONE HARLEY QUINN)

There are many movies that have no reason to exist - and this latest misfire from DC Comics was one of them. Directed by Cathy Yan, ‘Birds of Prey’ was a mire of uninspired ideas and recycled genre conventions that got old real quick. Penned by Christina Hodson (’Bumblebee’ being the ‘highlight’ on her resume), the script was as simplistic as it was thin, with needless subplots merely introduced to inflate the film to a decent running time. Even Margot Robbie’s manic performance as the ‘Mistress of Mayhem’ couldn’t save this mess.

7. JAY AND SILENT BOB REBOOT

What could’ve been a dream film for fans of these two classic stoner characters instead was nothing but a string of cameos and callbacks in a plot-less bore. Director Kevin Smith sucked all the life and fun out of this watered-down story, that suffered from a constant series of awkward and forced jokes that were painfully unfunny. An unfortunate stinker.

6. AVA

This latest foray into the ‘female assassin for hire’ genre was about as cliched as you could get. An emotionally troubled female killer whose male mentor assumes the role of the surrogate father? Check. Pounding dance music score? Check. Obligatory nightclub fight sequence? Check. Confused love interest? You betcha! Humourless, dry and uninspired, ‘Ava’ played out like a poor man’s ‘La Femme Nikita.’

5. FANTASY ISLAND

Hollywood’s obsession with repackaging Gen-X childhoods continued with this absurd attempt to reboot the classic 1970′s TV series as a low-budget horror joint under the Blumhouse label. At a dangerously close two hour runtime, there was simply nothing interesting about the film’s characters or its inane plot about a mystical island that grants wishes (a’la ‘The Monkey’s Paw’). Our advice? Turn ‘de plane’ around if you ever plan to visit this ‘Fantasy Island.’

4. ARTEMIS FOWL

For every ‘Harry Potter’ that explodes into the public consciousness, there always seems to be a dozen or more failed franchises. Sadly, Disney’s ‘Artemis Fowl’ found itself in the latter category. Director Kenneth Branagh’s dull and superficial attempt to transfer this popular children’s book series from page to screen suffered from a lack of character development, an over-reliance in CG effects and featured a lifeless performance from newcomer Ferdia Shaw as the titular character. 

3. HUBIE HALLOWEEN (NETFLIX)

A month before last year’s Oscar nominations were released, Adam Sandler joked on ‘The Howard Stern Show’ that if the Academy snubbed him for his role in the film ‘Uncut Gems,’ he would make a movie “that [was] so bad on purpose.” And that’s exactly what happened. Supposedly a comedy, ‘Hubie Halloween’ was unfunny, disposable and completely devoid of any originality. Sadly for audiences, Sandler signed a four-movie deal with Netflix last year, worth up to $275 million - so we can expect to see more of this shit soon!

2. ALIEN ADDICTION

Aliens visit New Zealand and get high smoking human faeces? Someone should have advised Kiwi director Shae Sterling that audiences have moved on from such puerile comedies as this abomination. Suffice to say, if anybody ever admitted to finding this film remotely funny, they’d probably be outcast from society. An embarrassment to all those involved. 

1. THE BEACH BUM

Director Harmony Korine’s generic stoner comedy about a prolific poet who drifts through life in a drug-induced haze had all the natural high of an unfiltered, soggy joint and was easily, hands down, 2020′s worst film.

‘The Beach Bum’ was a pretentious and uninteresting movie whose lead character, considered to be an ‘artistic genius,’ was nothing more than a relentless shithead to everyone around him. As Moondog, the semi-naked, bongo-playing, pot-fuelled beat poet, Matthew McConaughey was insufferable and grating in his portrayal of a character you would quite easily want to punch in the face - repeatedly. Blazed and confused, ‘The Beach Bum’ had no plot, no class and no entertainment value whatsoever. 

MOVIE POSTERS

From the classic to the abstract, here is just a sample of some of the best poster designs from a highly unusual year of movies.

...AND FINALLY, WHEN WHEN IT COMES TO DIRE-LOG, THEY SAID WHAT!?

“I've never wanted anything more. But he's gone, and that's the truth. And everything has a price. One I'm not willing to pay. Not any more. This world was a beautiful place, just as it was, and you cannot have it all. You can only have the truth. And the truth is enough. The truth is beautiful” (’Wonder Woman 1984′).

And who could forget this little chestnut of advice...

“That is the only truth and truth is all there is. You cannot be the winner because you are not ready to win. And there is no shame in that. Only in knowing the truth in your heart and not accepting it. No true hero is born from lies” (’Wonder Woman 1984′).

[random-writes-blog]

What you are chapter 5

Remus heard quiet murmuring around him. He could feel the familiar, jello-like squish of his bed underneath him. He wanted to whine and pull his pillow over his face. It was far too early to be awake! His body felt so sore though that he knew trying to move would be a massive mistake, he groaned and squeezed his eyes more tightly. The voices silenced.

“Perhaps we should through some water on him.” One of the voices said.

Remus’s eyes shot open, “I’m up, I’m up!” He tried to move and felt a surge of pain on his back, he moved back onto the bed. Patton practically jumped on him to hug him. Pushing his back against the bed and making his pain rear up with a harsh burning sensation.

“Remus! You’re okay,” he moved out a tear from his eye, “Don’t ever worry us like that again.”

Roman was sitting off to the side playing with his fingers, “You’re still so hurt... Hey everyone, can I get a chance to talk to my brother for a second alone?” The group looked at each other and nodded in agreement.

“I think we all want a moment with him alone.” Deceit said quietly, standing up.

Wrath leaned towards Roman and whispered, “If you do anything to him, I will tear you apart.”

Roman smiled sheepishly, “Will do!”

And with that the group began to leave, Deceit was the last to leave, giving a final small look before leaving. Remus would bet money that he was standing directly behind the door just in case anything did go wrong during this discussion. Remus starred at Roman as he shuffled back and forth.

“Well?” Remus said slightly impatiently, there was nothing that he hated more than silence.

Roman took a deep breath, “I can’t help but blame myself for this, for you locking yourself in the imagination.” He rubbed his arms, “You’re not- a few months ago I thought you were the evilest thing a person could be, you’re loud, irritating, violent and vulgar.”

Remus grinned, “That’s the goal!”

Roman gave a small smile back and gently put his hand to his shoulder, “But you’re far from evil and you don’t deserve to be hurt for existing. And I’m sorry if I ever, ever contributed to you feeling like you do.”

Remus’s eyes widened at that, he didn’t expect the conversation to go this way. He couldn’t help but start to giggle. Oh God, Roman- heh- his laughter slowly became more and more harsh and jagged, his throat grew sore from the effort when he spat out, “23 years and 7 days!”

Roman blinked, “You counted?”

Remus’s grin widened, “Janus and I made a bet on the day that we met about whether you’d or Logan or Patton would ever see any value in us. It took this long but I WON! I WON! I WON!” He started to bounce and make loud screeching noises of victory.

Roman gave a small smile of relief, “Yes well...” He stood up, “I feel better, but the more important question is, do you?”

Remus moved his hand back and forth, physically time had already started to heal his wounds and mentally, well, he wasn't sure how he felt at this point. Studying his own mind was always an annoying at best use of time. He shrugged, "About as well as a mouse in a blender eating cheese."

Roman looked at the ceiling trying to figure out what that meant. There was a loud SPLAT as a piece of green goo (Whether it was jello or snot Remus couldn't know) hit Roman directly in the eye. Roman groaned at the attack and reached his hand towards it only to get his hand stuck, ah, it was the glue. Remus summoned a cup of fire; Roman held his hands up in fear.

"NO!" Roman cleared his throat and took a deep breath, "I'm good, I prefer keeping my eyebrows thank you." Remus shrugged and put the fire away while Roman shook his hand to try to separate it from his face.

He sighed, "I guess I'll just wait until I can get to my room to get it off." He gave one of his so-charming-and-kind-it-made-Remus-want-to-puke smiles, "Try to get some rest okay?" Remus sighed, did his brother have to be... Like this? All the time?

He waved his hand to dismiss him. "Don't worry too much about me Prince Smarming. I'll be fine."

Roman ruffled Remus's hair and started to walk towards the door, but Remus felt weird about the entire thing. Like someone took away your plate of organs before you could finish it; a slight sense of fullness but a lingering, intense hunger remained. That hunger is what lead him to loudly call to Roman.

"Roman, wait." Roman took his hand away from the doorknob and turned around to look at him. Remus's head started spinning, wait, fuck, what did he really want to say? Did he want to eat Roman?! Is that what that thing in his head that he was thinking was saying?! It wouldn't be the first time, especially during moments like this when everything felt intense, oh why would he stop Roman without even thinking about what he was supposed to say-

Then, as if from hell itself, a phrase floated towards him. One that perfectly described his current feelings towards Roman and his relationship to what just happened.

"Thank you."

------------------------------------

Wrath was poor at expressing emotions, which showed in what reaction he decided to show Remus. It was a short visit in which Remus didn’t get a word in edgewise. Instead Wrath marched over to his bed, his face showed his mild irritation of the situation, his eyes hard and narrow as two pieces of coal. He crawled on top of Remus’s bed and flicked his nose.

As soon as he’d came he’d gone. --------------------------------------------

Remus wasn’t sure how Deceit was going to react, after all, he’s the one who’d known about this entire endeavor after all, he was aware of it. Of every part of it, the good things that would happen, the bad and the neutral all the same. Yet he went along with it anyway, because it was what Remus wanted.

He pulled up a chair and ignored its screams as he sat on its face. He equally as easily ignored its weird moaning noises.“You know, Roman was ready to chop my head off the moment that he heard what was going on.” His voice had a hint of a chuckle in it.

Remus grinned, “Did he go through with it? Bet there was a TON of blood.”

Deceit rested his head in his hands, “Remus, we’re physical manifestations of Thomas’s being. We only have things like ‘blood’ if we want to or,” he gently stroked his scales, “It reflects Thomas’s view of us in some way... Of course there was a ton of blood.”

Remus gave a loud cackle and clapped his hands, "OH GOODIE! Can you give me a show?"

Deceit tapped his chin with his finger, “Hmm, I don’t know,” he gave Remus a knowing look with that small smile on his lips.

Remus had to stop himself from bouncing, “You’re great at remaking events!”

Deceit grinned and tipped his hat so it covered the snake half of his face, “If you insist.” He gave a twirl, his caplet flowing around him as he changed into Roman. Remus snuggled into his blanket and watched the show take place.

“Why can’t I get into the Imagination?” Deceit as Roman shouted, he spun around again so he was himself, facing Roman.

He pressed his hand against his heart, “Why would I have anything to do with this?”

‘Roman’ growled at Deceit, his hand on his sword’s hilt,“Drop the act Corrupt Cobra, I know you’re far from innocent. I could feel your slimy yellow aura all over my door!”

Deceit gave a long, sigh and rolled his eyes dramatically. He pointed where Roman was standing with his thumb and stage whispered to Remus, “This guy, am I right?” He turned back to ‘Roman’ before he could give a proper answer, “Fine fine, if you truly insist on knowing, your brother asked me to do him a little favor.”

‘Roman’ glared at Deceit, “What did you do,”

Deceit cocked his head, “What?”

‘Roman’ pointed his sword where Deceit’s throat was, “The only wishes you’d grant are those monkey paw... Evil kind, what. Did you do. To Remus?”

Deceit’s eyes shifted, “You’re a smart man Roman, I’m sure you can figure it out.”

There was a silence between them.

“Let me through.”

“No.”

‘Roman’ pulled his sword back, “Let me through or I will not hesitate to separate your head from your neck.”

Deceit shook his head, “I will not let you stop Remus from getting what he wanted for the sake of your own sense of feeling morally right.” He held his hair.

‘Roman’ true to his word swung his sword, Deceit turned back to his self so he could show how the muscles of the neck were separated, the blood pushed through his veins each droplet flying through the room like a water sprinkler on a garden.

Remus squealed and opened his mouth to taste the take droplet, Deceit’s head winked at him but in the few seconds where he was still reacting to ‘Roman’s’ bold action, Roman ran past him through the door.

Deceit summoned his hat and bowed while Remus cheered his dramatic display.

“Brava brava!” He shouted and gave a loud laugh, but as Deceit moved back to sit back down, a silence fell upon the pair.

“So... That’s it then?” Remus asked, “You’re not going to scold me or tell me that what I did could have gotten me killed, you know the whole riot act that you gave Virgil when he did something that could have fucked him up?”

Deceit looked down and took a deep breath, in and out through his nose. He than looked back up at Remus, “Remus, I- we grew up together. You and Virgil were all that I had for years and after Virgil left you were the only one that I had left. And,” Another deep breath, “As much as a mistake as some may argue it is... I have some respect for what you are and what you do... What I told Virgil disrespected him and that’s why he hates me now. I didn’t respect his ability to chose who he was and what he wanted to do.”

Deceit stood up, “And I will not make the same mistake again. Remus you’re an adult and I’m your friend. I-I trust you to make your own decisions and know what you want to do for yourself and Thomas.”

Remus’s eyes slowly widened further and further as Deceit continued speaking, “Dee- I don’t know what I want! Not really, I think, I’m REALLY bad at making decisions, I’m reckless and I have no filter and-”

Deceit put his hand on Remus’s head, giving it a gentle ruffle, “You’ll figure it out.” He moved his hand away, “You’re the only one who can... Let’s just hope that it doesn’t involve too many mess ups.”

Remus wrapped his arms around himself, “We can hope but it’s me! I’m chaos and pain personified.”

Deceit hesitated and stood up straight, “You’re a lot of things Remus. Those are only two of them but I can’t tell you what else there is to you.” And with that, Deceit walked out of the room. Each click, click, click of his heels a roll of thunder through Remus’s mind. No matter who came after, he knew now that Deceit wasn’t going to pull him out of this and that-that frightened him more than anything the Imagination could give him.

[bruhstation]

WOAH HAHAH LOTS OF QUESTIONS!!!! and I’ll gladly answer ^_^

proteus was really wary of diesel 10 during his cartoon villain days in act 1, but decided to tolerate him after he mellowed out. lady is close to d10 after the two of them found similarities in each other in terms of worldviews, so proteus at some parts thinks that d10 can be tolerated at the very least. after all, he respects lady even though he has some disagreements in her ways.

proteus believes that d10 will just become a minor itch at worst, but he never kept his guard down. not like he can go anywhere, since he’s stuck inside some misty forest. it changed in act 2, though, because (following how dotd played out) after thomas vented to him about the whole dieselworks fiasco, proteus believed that d10 is someone much more concerning.

ABOUT HIS ORIGINS!!!!! LORE UNDER THE CUT... he is really fun to write

proteus grants the wishes of others, though it usually comes all twisted. he will grant your wish, but in a LITERAL sense. for example; you wish to be the strongest being in the planet? you'll turn into a whale. or whatever's the strongest creature in earth is. a finger curls in the monkey's paw, yadda yadda.

proteus started off as a kind, friendly soul who always wanted to help others. after being a wandering ghost for decades, proteus convinced lady to give him wish-granting powers so he can still help those in need even after death. lady thought “sure! why not. humans need help not only from the afterlife haha” and there he goes.

but... proteus is different from lady. he’s a ghost -- which means he was originally a human -- and not a god or folk hero like many tales of him interpret him to be. he understands how human emotions work, how tragic their follies are, how humanity never remained static and always moves forward. very different from lady.

after many years witnessing lady at work, proteus realized how much people are suffering from the side effects of gold dust (revived people changed drastically, victims of time and space displacements lost their memories, etc). proteus decided to hide his existence from humans, as he got paranoid that his wish-granting powers could give people side effects just like gold dust did. he left his magic lamp in the depths of sodor’s forest in hopes that only those that are prepared can meet him. as a result, humans find it really hard to find him. he then faded in obscurity -- save for a few inaccurate tales of him -- just like he wanted.

you could say that he kind of lost his mind a bit after seeing people seek him in desperation, only to be met with echoes of their own voice. he wanted to help others so badly, but he can’t take the risk. to keep himself grounded, proteus then takes joy in the unpredictability fate brings and twist the wishes of his more-selfish patrons, believing that it'll drive more people away from him. he's now this flamboyant, joyful, yet somehow menacing fellow to whoever he meets. he's the life of the party. this was how he presented himself to thomas when they first met. many ghosts think it’s disturbing, but those like timothy took pity on him.

in act 1, thomas looked for proteus because that’s part of his adventures. act 1 thomas wanted excitement and fun in his life. he wanted fireworks! explosions! indiana-jones-esque escapades! so when skarloey told him a version of proteus’ legend, he got excited! first hunting gold dust, now finding an old “god”? so off thomas went, dragging a begrudging peter sam along. they eventually encountered proteus, who -- as how the legend goes -- will grant thomas' wish. proteus then gives him a simple, yet slightly concerning reply.

thomas: “I wish my life would be filled with so much adventures and excitement! proteus: proteus: “well kid, you cannot wish for something that is already happening.”

aged like wine. extremely sour wine.

(wip) finally arrived home from the long trip. tomorrow I’ll be going back to the dormitories GOD HELP ME!!!!!! I’M DEFINITELY GOING TO DIE HELP ME HELP HELPPPPPPP AHHHHHHH but that’s not stopping me from drawing mr dubious-yet-lively wish granter himself

[hello-im-not-a-possum]

Coming soon to my Ao3 works; BATIM AU that is a parallel universe to ‘-en-y And The Dreemurr Team’: Joey Drew In: “Dreams Come True!”

As I am writing for both AUs, they will naturally overlap a bit, in this case, the overlap itself is that the workers’ (and the Ink Demon’s) cartoon forms in -ATDT and their cartoon forms in JDDCT are the exact same forms. The plot, themes, etc, on the other hand are completely different.

The basic premise of the AU is that Everybody condemned to suffer in Joey Drew Studios BUT Joey himself gets a happier afterlife going for them because apparently nothing makes that bastard suffer more than getting swept under the rug of success.

It starts off with Joey forcefully being pulled into the ink machine by the Ink Demon and he finds that the world inside it isn’t the nightmarish, broken-down studio that he’s forced Henry through so many times but rather a monkey’s paw scenario of his own personal hell where every wish he had for Bendy was granted, ...but he can’t enjoy any of it because it’s almost always rigged to benefit anyone BUT him. and the new studio often has him having to play ‘straightman’ to his coworkers’ antics.

“Henry stayed at the studio!” Yes, and he’s the head of the art department, everybody and their pets know that HE made the original toon trio, he’s your boss now, his wife visits the studio often, and he’s the motherfucking grim reaper. Got a problem with any of that? take it up with the head of the studio: Benjamin “Inkwell” Drew.

“Alice Angel is a major fan favorite now! everybody loves her!” Yes, and you can thank the team effort of Allison Conner (Alice’s speaking voice) and Susie Campbell (Alice’s singing voice) for that. Isn’t it funny how an attempt to pit two talented voice actresses against each other can backfire so badly that your absolute failure managed to build a wonderful friendship that will last for years to come?

“Bendy Land’s a giant hit! Especially with the living cartoons!” Yes, and Bertrum and his workers who had built the park and Thomas who designed the ink machine happily reap the rewards of such astonishing accomplishments. Aren’t you lucky that they stick around to rub salt into your wounds to be there for future projects collaborated between the studio, GENT, and Bertrum’s parks?

Speaking of the ‘living cartoon’ thing? it turns out that a different recipe for magic ink doesn’t change the fact that having a machine that pumps magical ink throughout the studio has some ‘interesting’ effects on the workers there, including Joey Drew himself...

[nobodyfamousposts]

The reason Thomas hasn't done so is probably because Akuma fights take up a good portion of the show and if Ms. Agreste was healed and the Akuma's became unnecessary they'd have to think of something to replace their time. Hypothetically another reason why is that no one has been Akumatized that would make sense to be a healer Akuma/Champion. Like Lila became an illusion/lie themed superpowered person like she claimed, Aurora lost a weather competition and became a weather themed villain, ect.

I fully understand the meta reason why they can’t have things be this simple. The love square and the akuma of the week plot ARE the main draws of the show and the whole thing would be pointless if Hawk Moth could just use his own power to solve his problems and thus make them unnecessary. There wouldn’t even be a show (ignoring that yes there would because I could think up of a good few ways things could take off from there that would still result in the same issue if not include the added benefit of making Gabriel sympathetic and likable). I get that.

The problem is that they’ve introduced all these powers and things IN the plot that could easily solve everyone’s problems if they just had the sense to use them differently.

There’s also the problem that they’ve hyped up the Ladybug and Black Cat Miraculous as the ULTIMATE POWER DUO going up against the Butterfly Miraculous that is supposed to be on the next ring of power below them—but somehow have the Butterfly be seriously OP in comparison to the point that one has to ask why can’t he just use it to solve his problems without bothering with the potential Monkey’s Paw-variant of wish? Okay sure, he may not know about the balance and whole “sacrifice” issue, but one would still think that if he HAS the power to accomplish this already, why even bother going through these over the top shenanigans instead of just taking the easier route and not deal with that hassle?

[daglout]

I'm using my second monkeys paw wish again for Thomas to get a bf

[aroace-wizard]

He’s a friend of mine and I’m like a freed Djinn that can still grant wishes so I want to grant you a wish. I won’t even monkey paw this one. oh gods he’s as smitten at Thomas

Hi! Your Thomas’s boyfriend right?

Oh um…

Oh gods I guess I am…

Why do you ask?

[shirlleycoyle]

Fans Tell Us Why They Want to Cover Up Their Harry Potter Tattoos

By the time Harry Potter author JK Rowling had written a 4,000 word essay describing her bigoted views on trans people on June 10, she was already on thin ice. After years of post-textual additions to the series and veiled transphobia elsewhere in her oeuvre, being a Harry Potter fan had become tedious and tiresome. I had already been considering covering up my small tattoo of the deathly hallows symbol, but for me, the June 10 essay cemented it. My relationship to Harry Potter as an adult was already conflicted; now I simply cannot wait to have the marker of my fandom removed from my body. Even the news of an upcoming Harry Potter video game, something I've wanted for years, no longer brings me any joy.

I'm not the only fan who feels this way. There have been viral tweets from others who want to get their Harry Potter tattoos covered up. Artist Molly Ostertag offered to help some fans design their cover ups in return for a donation to a charity for trans women of color.

Three fans spoke with Motherboard about their own Harry Potter tattoos, and their plans to cover them up.

Laney

Laney's tattoo combined the symbol of the deathly hallows, which in the books signals to other people that you're on a similar, specific quest, and a stag, which is Harry's patronus, which protects him from creatures that feed on fear.

"This tattoo started as just a deathly hallows on my shoulder, back in 2011," Laney said. "I was fully on the hype train for the Harry Potter fandom on Tumblr. I was swept up, especially in the movie series ending. I was like, I want to put this on my body forever."

Laney said that she planned on adding more to the tattoo. Now, she's not sure about how she'd go about it.

"As I've gotten more critical in my adult years, it's been kind of weird going back," she continued. "It's very, very strange now to have this downward spiral of understanding JK Rowling as an author and also the work as it stands on its own."

There's plenty that's side-eye worthy in Rowling's original text. The goblin bankers of Gringotts are described as greedy, hook nosed creatures that control the Wizarding World's banks, which is antisemtitic even if it was accidental. The series' treatment of non-white characters like Parvati Patel, Dean Thomas, and Cho Chang, who is named Cho Chang, has never been stellar. Laney first started considering getting a cover up for her tattoo when the post-textual additions to Harry Potter started verging from welcome to outright weird.

The first time Rowling added to her text after it was published, it was to reveal that Dumbledore was gay. At the time Laney had been excited by that news.

"I was still in the closet then. That was one of those where I was like, 'Oh my God. It's so cool that she did this.'" Laney said. "Like I was all about it. I was very into it, mostly cause I hadn't really sat with how it felt about my own queerness."

But that immediate joy at Rowling revisiting Harry Potter would not last. In fact, it would get much worse.

"The one that really made me start going 'okay, hun' was when she started talking about the schools from around the world," Laney said. This information is on Pottermore, Rowling's online encyclopedia of Harry Potter knowledge. "That was the one real like, monkey's paw moment for me, where I was wishing for more content. That doesn't mean that the content is good."

Beyond having just one school for the entire continent of Africa, and her lack of clarity on how Native Americans figure into American wizarding history, the Japanese wizarding School has a name that is grammatically incorrect. Laney had just gotten the stag added to her tattoo when the information about these new wizarding schools had dropped.

"She just took a very narrow view, very British view of the rest of the world, without talking to other people from those cultures," Laney said.

Rowling's later transphobia was still distressing to Laney, but she'd already given up on Rowling as a writer.

"I guess I've lost a bit of an idol," she said. "I was very into her as a creative and it's been extremely disappointing as time has gone on. I'm still kind of grappling with how that affects my view of the series itself."

Jordan

Jordan was 11 years old when he read the first Harry Potter book, the same age Harry was when he got his Hogwarts letter inviting him to attend the wizard school. Jordan said that, like many Harry Potter fans, he grew up with Harry. Although the books were popular when he was younger, he was among the few people he knew to finish the series.

"Living in the South where, you know, 'it's all witchcraft and evil' and all that kind of stuff, a lot of people dropped it," Jordan said. "I don't really remember any of my other friends reading them the way that I did eventually."

The escapism of Harry Potter was what kept him interested in the series.

"As a young teen, whose parents had just gotten divorced… Hogwarts really felt like a place you could go, you know, and a place where you could escape all of the random bullshit that you have to deal with as a kid," he said.

Jordan's tattoo, a stick and poke of the deathly hallows symbol on his ankle, was done by a friend. He had started getting tattoos when he was 18, and had just known that he'd get a Harry Potter one.

"We were at a venue that we used to go to," Jordan said. "My wife, who was just my girlfriend at the time, was freaking out because I was getting a tattoo in this disgusting old warehouse. But yeah, he did it. He tied a needle to a pencil and tapped it in."

As Jordan grew up and went to college, he started studying English literature, and learned to look at the things he read more critically. That would soon include Harry Potter, which he often reread.

"I started picking up on things, stuff like, 'hey, she writes that slavery is good,'" Jordan said, referring to the series' house elves who refuse to be freed from literal slavery. Jordan also recalled Rowling's additions that the minor character Anthony Goldstein was Jewish, and that wizards didn't use to have plumbing and just shat on the floor and teleported it away. Jordan said that he felt like telling a fan that Anthony Goldstein was Jewish, in order to say that Jewish people went to Hogwarts, felt like picking a name out of a hat. The Wizards pooping everywhere was at least hilarious.

It was Rowling's outright transphobia that changed his relationship to the series, though.

"It no longer represents what it did," he said. "I mean, there's already so many borderline things in those books. It just felt like, okay, well, this thing that meant something to me, I have to reevaluate my relationship to it."

"The tattoo just started feeling like, if that was visible around my friends who are trans, I wouldn't want them to feel like I support the things that she says," he continued.

Still, Harry Potter was an enormous part of his life. Although it no longer feels like the same escape he had in his childhood and teenage years, Jordan knows that the process of reevaluating it will be a long one.

"I don't think I will ever completely be rid of it, I guess," Jordan said. "'Rid of'–it's not the right phrase, but it informs so much of who I became. It would be hard to completely divorce myself from it."

Kay

Kay said that their tattoo, also of the deathly hallows, used to be a way to relate to the kids they meet at their job. They're a librarian for middle and high school students.

"It's actually been a good conversation starter," they said. "And at first it was really cool."

Kay is non-binary and got the tattoo with a friend who is also trans. Kay said that for the students they worked with, the tattoo on their forearm was a signal that Kay read the kinds of books that they liked. After Rowling started expressing her bigoted views of trans people, Kay's tattoo no longer felt like a welcoming symbol.

"The first time she said something, I was like, 'Oof, okay, well, maybe she'll grow from this,'" they said. "it was the most recent one was when I was like, 'okay, I gotta do something.' Part of it was personal. I don't want to have this thing on my body that is now tainted in this personal way. Part of it is, I guess it's maybe somewhat selfish. Just like, I don't want people to look at me and make this assumption that I have similar views as her."

When the series first came out, not only did Kay love it, they also participated in the online fandom. They said that their annual reread of the series also included the Shoebox Project, a lengthy fanfiction depicting a romantic relationship between Remus Lupin and Sirius Black during their school days. For Kay, fandom often supplemented what was lacking in Rowling's text.

"It isn't a perfect community either. The shared interest isn't enough for that," they said. "The personal relationships to the story and the characters feel divorced enough that I can dip into that."

Kay has read and enjoyed fic about romantic relationships between Sirius and Remus, as well as Harry and Draco. To Kay, the Harry and Draco that exist in fanfiction don't hold a strong resemblance to the characters as they exist in Rowling's work, and Rowling has been quite adamant that Sirius and Remus are both straight. There are some aspects of Harry Potter that the fandom has already made their mark on, that now are only tangentially related to how they're portrayed in the series. Fans have imagined a world where James Potter is Desi, or where Sirius and Remus are in love, or where Peter Pettigrew has any redeeming qualities at all. Kay's relationship to these transformative texts are more or less intact. Going back to the actual books is a whole other can of worms.

Kay said that they always used to be in the middle of reading a Harry Potter book, and despite everything, they still want to share the series with their two year old. They just don't know when the next time they read the series will be.

"When I reread, it will be a very thoughtful, intricate experience of reassessing. I'm overwhelmed by the idea," Kay said. "I don't really know when I would want to do it again."

***

Sometimes I feel so acutely aware of my own tattoo that I want to apologize for it when I meet people. Harry Potter had once felt so intrinsic to my experience of the world that getting a tattoo was a no brainer. Like Jordan, I grew up with Harry. Like Kay, the fandom became a place for me to explore and expand upon the text. Like Laney, I once admired JK Rowling as both an author and as a woman who said she was a a feminist. It felt weird even to talk about the books with other fans, to be deriving enjoyment out of them in any way. I know that at the same time I make fun of Rowling for the weirdness of their books (why is there a Christmas feast? Do wizards believe in Jesus?), the rhetoric she espouses about trans people actively harms them.

I think I've finally settled on an idea for a cover up, as well. I've gotten really into gardening as I grow older, and find the same comfort in tending my plants as I used to when I read Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Plants and flowers can symbolize growth; maybe by replacing the deathly hallows with an image of plants that I've grown, I can learn to let go of a childhood I know I cannot return to.

Fans Tell Us Why They Want to Cover Up Their Harry Potter Tattoos syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[askthefamous8]

“i wish thomas the tank engine had an older fanbase that wasn’t mostly alt right twitter accounts” i cry out. the monkey’s paw curls another finger.

my post gets popular. people watch the show to better understand the jokes. they realize they like it. the very culture i was making fun of comes true. a new fandom is born. 

[noknowshame]

Another thought to add to “The Hamilton’s Are Manifesting”: If you think about it, Thomas did get exactly what he wanted in 1705. Civilization was indeed restored to Nassau with the help of universal pardons for pirates. It’s what it took for that to happen that was the finger curling on the monkey’s paw.

This also applies, I’d argue, to James’ love of literature. The gods looked down and said ‘You wish to be a part of mythology? You wish for the triumphs of Odysseus? Achilles? Then we will give you their tragedies.” 

Beware of your dreams. They can come true.

I’ve talked plenty about James manifesting, and I’ve talked about Thomas manifesting through James, but I think we need to acknowledge arguably the most powerful of the trio. Miranda — who wished for Charleston to burn so intensely that, as soon as she spoke it, the one thing happened that would guarantee that outcome.

[brokehorrorfan]

Blu-ray Review: Wishmaster Collection

The phrase "made for fans, by fans" is often used to describe indie horror films, but it rarely applies on a studio level. Wishmaster is a rare exception, with a bevy of genre talent involved both in front of and behind the camera. It was followed by three sequels of diminishing quality. All four films are collected and presented in high-definition for the first time in Vestron Video's Wishmaster Collection Blu-ray set.

Wishmaster was executive produced by the late, great Wes Craven (A Nightmare on Elm Street, Scream), allowing the film to be advertised under the "Wes Craven Presents" banner. Special effects veteran Robert Kurtzman (From Dusk Till Dawn, Scream) assumed the director's chair, bringing aboard his prolific KNB EFX Group to handle the copious practical effects. One of his partners, Greg Nicotero (The Walking Dead), worked as second unit director.

The cast features Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street) chewing the scenery in a supporting role, plus cameos from Kane Hodder (Friday the 13th Part VII-X), Tony Todd (Candyman), Ted Raimi (Evil Dead 2), Joseph Pilato (Day of the Dead), Reggie Bannister (Phantasm), and Angus Scrimm (Phantasm) as the narrator. You can even spot the Pazuzu statue from The Exorcist.

Watching the horror icons act in normal roles is fun, particularly since several of them are killed off in a rare turning of the tables. It serves as a passing of the torch to Andrew Divoff (Lost), who plays Wishmaster's demonic djinn. The actor is well-deserving of the recognition, as he plays the djinn with great conviction, both in and out of the heavy make-up.

Peter Atkins (Hellraiser II, III, and IV) penned the script, naming characters after genre writers Jack Finney, Charles Beaumont, August Derleth, and Abraham Merritt; a subtle nod far easier to stomach than the tired cliche of naming characters after famed horror filmmakers. Jacques Haitkin (A Nightmare on Elm Street) served as cinematographer, while Harry Manfredini (Friday the 13th) composed the score.

Wishmaster is about a djinn, an evil genie of sorts. As in the the tale of The Monkey's Paw, the wishes he grants never come true in the manner intended. They come at a price; usually the life of the wisher. Divoff's performance is sinister with a hint of camp, not unlike Freddy Krueger in the early Elm Street movies, while his occasional turgid monologue brings to mind Hellraiser's Pinhead. Tammy Lauren (Homefront) stars as Alex, an auctioneer who becomes entangled in the djinn's plan to free himself and his demonic brethren on earth.

Hiring an experienced special effects artist to direct proved to be a smart decision, as Kurtzman was able to navigate the effects-heavy script with ease. Left to their own devices, he and the KNB crew created tons of gooey effects that still hold up in high definition. Their work is integrated with early visual effects, supervised by Thomas C. Rainone (Lord of Illusions). Some of the digital work is alright, though most of it looks rather crude 20 years later.

Wishmaster was released in 1997, but it was obviously produced before Scream single-handedly changed the horror landscape. While most subsequent genre efforts aped Scream's brilliant meta aspects, glossy production value, and hip, young casts, Wishmaster shares more in common with '80s horror movies. Because of that, coupled with a top-notch restoration, it doesn't feel as dated as most '90s films (Hodder's mullet notwithstanding).

The Wishmaster disc is a special edition in itself, loaded with extras. Kurtzman, Divoff, and Lauren reunited for a new audio commentary, while Kurtzman and Atkins' existing commentary - recorded for the LaserDisc release! - is also included. A third track features Manfredini being interviewed by Red Shirt Pictures' Michael Felsher for a half hour, discussing working with a larger orchestra (and budget) than usual, followed by isolated score selections.

A plethora of new video interviews are featured: Kurtzman and co-producer David Tripet; Atkins; Divoff and Lauren; Haitkin; and Englund, Hodder, and Raimi. It would have been nice to have them all edited together into one comprehensive retrospective, but there's a lot of good information shared as is. Extras are rounded out by a vintage making-of featurette, behind-the-scenes footage, trailers, TV and radio spots, and storyboard and still galleries.

Wishmaster's modest success was enough to warrant its first straight-to-video sequel, Wishmaster 2: Evil Never Dies, in 1999. Arriving while the budding DVD market was taking off, the budget was lower but not obstructively so. Divoff was the only member of the primary cast and crew to return. Hoping to replicate the formula, another genre vet was brought in to write and direct: Jack Sholder (A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge, The Hidden).

In typical horror sequel fashion, Wishmaster 2 brings back the presumed defeated villain with little attention to logic while altering the established mythology. This time around, the djinn is granting wishes in exchange for souls, as the prophecy requires 1,001 to be fulfilled. Divoff has more screentime but spends a lot less of it in the djinn makeup. For the bulk of the film, he's in prison in his human form before squaring off against Morgana (Holly Fields), a criminal with a heart of gold, and Gregory (Paul Johansson, One Tree Hill), her priest friend.

In spite of the drop off in quality, the movie still has its charms. There aren't any horror actor cameos, but a number of character actors populate the supporting cast, including Robert LaSardo (Nip/Tuck), Tiny Lister (The Fifth Element), and Bokeem Woodbine (Devil). While the first film was fairly light in tone, the sequel skewers more toward comedy, as both the plot and the performances are more over-the-top this time around. In one of the most memorable scenes, the djinn grants an inmate's wish for his lawyer to fuck himself.

A fun set piece at a Las Vegas casino helps stretch the budget, but Wishmaster 2's scope is noticeably smaller than that of the first. That includes the special effects, which were essentially the backbone of the original film. Anthony C. Ferrante (who has gone on to direct all of the Sharknado films) supervises effects on some clever death scenes, but they pale in comparison to KNB's sumptuous work.

Sholder sits down with Felsher for a fresh audio commentary. It's an interesting listen. I was surprised to learn that Sholder passed on the script for the first film but was interested in doing the second when he learned he could write it. A still gallery is also included on the Wishmaster 2 disc.

Wishmaster 3: Beyond the Gates of Hell and Wishmaster: The Prophecy Fulfilled were filmed back-to-back and then released straight-to-DVD in 2001 and 2002, respectively. Although Chris Angel directed them both, the scripts were pened by two different writers, so they each tell entirely different stories. Part 3 was written by Alex Wright (Seance: The Summoning), while John Benjamin Martin (Devil's Diary) penned Part 4.

While the two films share the same crew, the only connective thread on screen is the djinn. John Novak assumes the role, technically playing a different djinn than the one portrayed by Divoff. The makeup/suit looks fine, although it has even less screentime than in the previous films. There are a few decent special effects set pieces, supervised by Roy Knyrim (Sinister II), but the scope of both films feel minuscule even compared to Part 2. The films would likely be forgotten entirely (or never produced altogether) if they didn't have Wishmaster in the title.

Wishmaster 3 plays like a watered-down version of the previous films. The djinn takes the human form of college professor Joel Barash (Jason Connery), and he's on the hunt for Diana (A.J. Cook, Criminal Minds), the studious teaching assistant who releases him from his jewel. Despite his best efforts, Connery lacks Divoff's creepy stoicism. The film adopts a cheesy fantasy angle by introducing a character inhabited by St. Michael the Archangel (Tobias Mehler, Disturbing Behavior).

Wishmaster 4 introduces a bizarre love triangle between a conflicted woman (Tara Spencer-Nairn), her wheelchair-bound boyfriend (Jason Thompson, General Hospital), and their djinn-possessed lawyer, Steven Verdel (Michael Trucco, Battlestar Galactica). The romantic melodrama is better suited for a Lifetime movie, with a punch of Cinemax-style softcore nudity. Fantasy elements are present once again, with an out-of-nowhere angel (Victor Webster, The Scorpion King 4: Quest for Power) hunting the djinn and a trio of half-formed djinns awaiting their time to come to earth.

No new special features were produced for the latter two films, not that anyone was clamoring for them. The DVD extras - audio commentaries and behind-the-scenes featurettes - are ported over. Although I remain unimpressed by both efforts, Angel's passion on the commentaries (one for Part 3 and two for Part 4) made me appreciate them more. With each film shot on a tight, 16-day schedule, I can sympathize with his plight.

Wishmaster was a valiant attempt to create a new horror icon among the bland 1990s genre offerings. Its sequels prove a thriving franchise wasn't meant to be, but the original stands as a crowd-pleasing special effects showcase. The film looks better than ever on Blu-ray, and the lesser sequels can be seen as special features in this definitive three-disc set.

Wishmaster Collection will be released on March 28 via Lionsgate.

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs, 04.21.2007 + 04.22.2017

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and ten years ago this week. today: songs i... like? that are... good? ???

4.21.2007

7) "What I've Done," Linkin Park

Ah, yes, the era of Sensitive Linkin Park. When Linkin Park replaced the teenage angst with, I guess, adult angst? What do we want to call this? Decidedly non-specific hand-wringing? "I did something bad!" Okay, what did you do? "A bad thing!" Yeah but we've all done bad things? "As long as we don't say what bad thing we did, you can relate your own dark secrets!" Oh okay cool thank you for the opportunity, Chester.

65) "Stolen," Dashboard Confessional

So here's how I justify being a little into this song after giving Big & Rich shit for making a "gosh, I sure love the woman I'm getting married to" song. One, I'm an emokid from way back, and this is that wuss-ass poetry shit I need, even if I wasn't that into it way back when. ("Don't Wait" wasn't really a jam, and it put me off purchasing Dusk & Summer, so.) I'll openly admit I'm predisposed to enjoy this song more. Two, I might be misinterpreting this song as being about a wedding, like I could actually be wrong about my interpretation, so it's more complex than the Big & Rich song where the dude literally says the preacher talked to Jesus. Three, "Lost in This Moment" is just about the moment. We don't know who any of those people are, short of the fact everyone's super into Jesus and the bride and groom love each other. Here, there's a clear setting (wedding reception at the end of summer), there's a small lyric thrown in there that lets you know, even at their own wedding, the couple feels mischievous, so they're more fully-realized people ("crash the best one/of the best ones"), and Dashboard Confessional takes the time to state that there's more to their love than this specific moment, that this is what they've been working for and what they want to be ("our dreams assured and we all/will sleep well, sleep well"). I never realized how into this song until I sat down and thought about it.

81) "Kiss the Girl," Ashley Tisdale

What in the absolute fuck did I just listen to. I don't think I've felt this way about a song since I heard "Pokemon Christmas Bash" for the first time.

83) "Diamonds," Fabolous ft./Young Jeezy

I don't wanna talk about this song, this song kinda blows, can we talk about "Breathe?" Can we talk about "Breathe," Fabolous' 2003 song that far outpaces most of the rest of his catalogue? "Breathe" is a fucking amazing song, and I have no idea where it came from. Does any artist have as glaring an outlier as Fabolous' "Breathe?" I'm struggling to come up with one. I'm just going to listen to "Kiss the Girl" and "Breathe" on repeat for the next few hours, BRB. "Secret Service me with some of that Lewinsky love." Absolutely not! Ugh, that's not even a hack line in 2017, that was hack in 2007, that would've been hack in 2002.

84) "Makes Me Wonder," Maroon 5

Like all Maroon 5 songs, this is acceptable.

91) "Release," Timbaland ft./Justin Timberlake

I didn't have to listen to this. I hadn't heard this song before, but I heard this song a thousand times before I sat down with it. I could have guessed. "This was gonna sound awfully loud and busy, Timbaland was gonna try to rap and bless his little heart, and it would be a party jam that I'm probably not qualified to discuss since I don't party." I could have written that and lied about having listened to this song, but I need to come by this displeasure honestly, for reasons.

94) "Find Out Who Your Friends Are," Tracy Lawrence

Four songs ago I was listening to "Kiss the Girl" and the world was a magical place where love was real. I want to go back. I want to go back to that land of awkward dancing and spunky pop guitar riffs. I hate this world where some fucking dude tells me if my truck breaks down someone, not necessarily him but someone, can fix it. Great. Great, OK. That's useful, I will do something with this information. Forgetting is doing something.

95) "Apologize," Timbaland ft./OneRepublic

I heard the original version of "Apologize" on Alternative Addiction in summer 2006 I think? And I loved that song, and I wanted more people to hear this song, because I thought it was really impressive. ...I don't want to say Monkey's Paw? But this feels like a wish made on a cursed monkey's paw. I didn't want it like this. Why would I ever want it like this. Why would I ever want this song to get big because Timbaland said, "Hey, I think I can add twelve different things to this, really take it over the top." Like, for me, this was the only thing I got between the release of "Apologize" and the release of OneRepublic's debut a year and a half later, was this nonsense, and you can't imagine my disappointment that this was the only new OneRepublic thing I had for a year and a half, especially since it turned out that OneRepublic was OneRepublic.

99) "When I See U," Fantasia

R&B isn't one of my main genres, as I'm sure you can tell, so I've largely missed out on the career arc of the last true American Idol, as it's taken place entirely on that chart. I clearly need to get reacquainted. R&B isn’t something I come to easily. I like songs that go 1000 miles an hour on a path to DIZZYING EMOTIONAL HIGHS and that’s not something R&B really does, it slowly burns until there’s a full-on fire, and the fire crackles gently but still has devastating power, and while I’m not here saying Fantasia did just that with this song, I’m saying there’s enough I love about this song that I’m sure I can find some song in Fantasia’s oeuvre which does the thing, ‘cuz man, this song almost did it for me. (How often do I pull “I’m not saying, I’m just saying” bullshit? I need to see if that’s a tic I should edit out. Fucking own an opinion, dude, jiminy.)

The Top 20 singles of 2007 through this week: 20) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 19) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 18) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 17) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 16) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 15) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 14) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 13) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 12) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 11) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 10) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 9) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 8) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 7) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 6) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 5) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 4) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 3) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 2) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) 1) "Kiss the Girl," by Ashley Tisdale (4.21.2007) Some tough cuts -- so long, "Get It Shawty," we knew you well -- but the cuts are only tough since 2007 really stepped up its game, and after next week, it'll have a fairly unfuckwitable Top 20. 2017 better respond well.

4.22.2017

2) "HUMBLE." by Kendrick Lamar

So, relative to the rest of Kendrick Lamar's catalogue, I understand why the Internet would be angry at this song, but relative to the world at large, this is kinda just not a great song? Even setting aside the lyrical content, this song is bleh, something that sounds more like a throwaway than even anything on untitled.unmastered. From a lyrical standpoint, it's misguided and has some bad opinions, but Kodak Black has a legitimate hit record and two other songs debuting this week, and XXXTENTACION is rising in popularity. This is a smart man doing something dumb. I dunno, I'm just not really in the business of punishing a dude for not being woke all the time. Insomnia is a disease, y'know? I don't think this song is worth getting angry at. It's worth a stern lecture, to be sure, but we need to fix the clear and present problems before we set our sights on what is merely problematic. It's a bad song. People make bad songs sometimes.

53) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris

...I hate how into this I am. I listened to the Static Version. Is that the reason this is such a jam? This is basically the best pop duet in years. (The term 'duet' is being used here loosely. Maren Morris harmonizes and at one point goes "yeah" real loud.) It's so good, I can't even use this as a launching pad for a complaint about bro country, though, of course, the reason it's so good is that it does away with any pretense of being a country song. Like this is bubblegum-ass pop right here. This track would have been right at home on E MO TION Side B. (Not on E MO TION proper, of course, that album is Perfect (and now that opinion is a matter of YAS record), but this kinda reminds me of something that would be on a more dramatic version of Side B.) And I 100% get behind it? I'm behind this! Why the fuck not!

59) "Everybody," by Logic

Y'know what, I said 2017 needed to step its game up, and by golly, here we are, with a Kendrick song (Kendrick's C-game being better than most dude's A-games; to use The Sopranos as a point of comparison, "HUMBLE." is basically Kendrick's "Columbus," not a great song but still a Kendrick song), it had something that came out of nowhere to be among my favorites for the year so far, and we have this, which is just delightful! Evidently, I should have heard of Logic by now, but this seems as good an introduction as any.

60) "You Look Good," by Lady Antebellum

MORE. HORNS. IN. COUNTY. MUSIC. So, okay, first of all, I gotta note, the producer of this song, busbee, once made a song with Girl's Generation, so finally I know of the link between country and K-pop, ok now HORNS. Imagine how unnecessary this track would be without horns, if this were another country song with nothing to say but "it's nice when things are nice!" This gives it a dirty edge, but it somehow never feels skeezy, which is a miracle, considering, y'know, the dudes in Lady Antebellum. It took a little over a year but hey! Someone in the pop/country game listened to Sturgill Simpson! Better late than never!

75) "Tin Man," by Miranda Lambert

it's miranda lambert singing a sad country song with a wizard of oz metaphor, of course i'm into it

81) "Subeme La Radio," by Enrique Iglesias ft./Descemer Bueno, Zion & Lennox

Maybe it's because, of the four so far, this is the only one by an artist I've heard before, but I was less enchanted by this Latin pop song than I have been by the others. Even that Romeo Santos thing had its charm! I disagree with his choice to sound the way he does, but it's a choice he made that I still remember so really how bad a choice could it have been? This doesn't sound like anyone made a choice. It sounded like Enrique Iglesias just heaved a sigh and said, "Guess the fellas upstairs are expecting something. I dunno, people still use radios? Let's make a song about how they should turn the volume up on their radios. I don't know what we'll do for people who listen at max volume, but now at least we have the idea for album song two." According to the only English translation I am going to look up, the lyrics for this song features the line, "Time goes slow/And I'm gonna die." That is so not the vibe I got from this song.

88) "First Day Out," by Tee Grizzley

I really loved the way this song moved, like, the way it would switch it up every half-minute or so but still felt consistent, never felt like a thousand things were happening at once, and I thought the dude kept up with what the track wanted to do quite nicely. I'm. I don't know if he's a good rapper? I mean I won't pretend to know my stuff, again, I am out of my depth just wading into criticism on a technical level, but it sounded like he was talking over a beat for most of the song, and I can't tell if that's a relaxed flow or if the dude was just talking. And I KNOW he's a shit lyricist. He rhymed "blessing" with "happened," and immediately after that rhymed "status" with "castle." Like I'd be down with free verse, I think the world is ready for free verse rap, but then there’s eight consecutive bars end with the n-word? Like man, I think there's a lot to work with, I kinda wanna see where your whole thing goes, but boy, you sure amn't well-worded!

91) "The One," by The Chainsmokers

Please don’t make me listen to The Chainsmokers. I love "Closer" like I love few things in life. I thought "Roses" was fun. I could do without all these other Chainsmokers songs. Stop letting the dude from The Chainsmokers sing. He can't do it! He is unable to do it! He should not be carrying emotional ballads about letting someone go! Please tell me I'm not going to listen to ten other Chainsmokers songs next week. Oh god please tell me I do -- it's bullshit, because I can't take a principled moral stance like I'm about to take with Kodak Black, there is no ethical reason to not listen to the Chainsmokers, I will have to listen to every Chainsmokers song that comes on the chart, and it's BULLSHIT, because somewhere along the line y'all decided "Closer" wasn't an outlier. We all listened to "Closer," and that told the Chainsmokers people liked it when they were sensitive, and now next week, I'm going to have to listen to ten shitty EDM sad boy tracks, and all the good vibes I was feeling for 2017 are out the window because I can't believe the world is going to put me through that. Tell me this is the only cut from the album I have to endure, for the love of whatever gods you worship, tell me that.

93) "Conscience," by Kodak Black ft./Future 94) "Drowning," by A Boogie Wit da Hoodie ft./Kodak Black

As previously stated, I'm not listening to this dude's songs because I think he's a terrible monster and do not wish to support him more than I already have.

96) "Heatstroke," by Calvin Harris ft./Young Thug, Pharrell Williams & Ariana Grande

and now THIS, somehow, is the best pop duet in years? how the fuck does a duet between young thug and ariana grande work. what dark fucking sorcery is this. calvin harris is 2/2 so far this year, and i just, it's so good! i don't get it! it's like when someone told me that peanut butter, sriracha, and green apple made a good sandwich. i didn't believe it, but i still tried it, and HOT DAMN THAT WAS A SANDWICH. there is no way all these people coming together should work, but here we are, it worked and i'm happy.

98) "How Not To," by Dan + Shay

even the music video for this song doesn't wanna listen to this song

100) "Human," by Rag'n'bone Man

So are Rag'n'bone Man and Kaleo gonna have to fight for the title of Gotye 2017? Or does Rag'n'bone Man recognize that having a name one can make sense of precludes him from consideration for Gotye 2017 and is content to let Kaleo ride with that title? I don't mind that there's two Gotyes, though, especially since this one's pretty dope. I knew this was gonna be cool when I saw "Fast Car" pop up in the recommended videos sidebar and it delivered on that promise. Hot damn, though, this was a fun week for 2017. Like, last week, "Swalla" did a second week in the Top 20, and this week, Rag'n'bone Man can't get in. Well met, friend.

Speaking of, I moved some things around in the 2017 Top 20 again because I haven’t had a decade to spend with these songs and figure out my relationship with them, I’m sort of judging what’s good and isn’t good as I go, and sometimes that means bouncing Ed Sheeran from the Top 20, y’know? 20) "Tin Man," by Miranda Lambert (4.22) 19) "Everyday," by Ariana Grande ft./Future (3.4) 18) "Everybody," by Logic (4.22) 17) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 16) "Heatstroke," by Calvin Harris ft./Young Thug, Pharrell Williams & Ariana Grande (4.22) 15) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 14) "You Look Good," by Lady Antebellum (4.22) 13) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 12) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 11) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 10) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 9) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 8) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 7) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 6) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 5) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 4) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 3) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 2) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 1) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) Fucking Thomas Rhett in the top ten, this week was amazing and the worst.

WHO WON THE WEEK? 2017 took 2007 to the cleaners. It’s the first time either year has had the best bunch AND best individual song in the same week, and somehow, it’s a Thomas Rhett joint. I like “Stolen” more than I remember and “When I See U” more than I thought, but the top five from 2017 this week, man. Solid group, that. The problem, of course, is that next week, 2007 delivers an unassailable classic and two of my favorite songs from the year. 2017 may win battles, but it’s not quite prepped for war. 2017: 2 2007: 2