#This whole thing is only about 3 minutes long but I didn't want to cut out the SUPER symbolic rose and darkness bit at the end | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

luvvyouforever · 11 months ago

Text

suddenly, neville {n.l. x reader}

↳ three times that neville is there for you when heartbreak strikes and the one time he decides to do something about it.

↳ content: sadness, feelings of self-doubt/insecurities, slander against almost every hogwarts boy, fluff, friends to lovers, pining, neville being a shy sweetie. word count: 1684

"and then he," sniff, "he told me he never liked me. that him and dean were just joking." you wiped tears from your eyes violently and neville felt his heart tearing in two for you. "i thought they were nice! why would seamus lie like that?"

"i don't know," neville answered honestly. he knew that his friends were pranksters, sometimes taking jokes a step too far. but he had never expected his best friend to come to him crying over a stupid idea the two had devised. he felt angry with them. how could they have done that to someone as beautiful as you?

"i just don't get it! why does everyone else get to have crushes and first kisses?" you huffed frustratingly. neville's first thought was that he should have kissed you then but his second thought was much more controlled and much more him. he reached out, patting your back and trying to inject as much comfort into the touch as he could. you stayed like that for a few minutes as your tears subdued. one final sniff and you were rising from neville's bed. "i'm sorry for this. you're the first person i wanted to come to."

neville rose immediately after, coming to stand at your side. even at thirteen years old, he towered above you. "don't apologize," he said in a serious tone. "it's okay. i'm here for you. always-oof-"

neville's voice was cut off by your frame crashing into his, pulling him into a tight hug. he wasn't used to the touch or the affection and after immediately tensing, he relaxed and wrapped his own arms around you. something bloomed inside neville's chest and though he tried to push it down, you couldn't help but hear his heartbeat quicken.

neville's experience at the yule ball wasn't as fun as he had hoped for. ginny was a great date and he danced through the entire night but something in his chest didn't feel right. you weren't there, enjoying the once-in-a-lifetime experience with him. he thought that, at first, you were just late or maybe he couldn't spot you among the crowd. but two hours into the night and he hadn't seen you once.

he left the ball eventually and his first and only mission was to seek you out. he slipped through the halls of the castle, narrowly avoiding snape's patrol, in search of you. his feet took him toward an empty stairwell which echoed with quiet sounds of crying.

"y/n?" he called out timidly. the sniff from further up the stairs told him all he needed to know and eventually, he was standing before you. your dress was beautiful, your hair was done in an intricate updo that he knew must've taken hours, and yet you were sobbing alone. "what's going on?"

"cormac...he stood me up. didn't show, didn't owl me. nothing," you said, voice barely above a whisper. he could tell that you had been crying in this very same stairwell for a while based on the puffiness of your eyes and the rasp in your throat. gingerly, he took a seat by your side.

without thinking, your head leaned on his shoulder and the pins in your hair poked his skin. something about his presence visibly eased your pain and he was so glad that he could offer you that.

really, neville wanted to be the one to take you to the yule ball. to be the one that watched you walk down the stairs in your dress. to be the one that danced with you all night long, breathless and laughing. but he was too nervous to do such a thing and instead asked ginny. neville silently reprimanded himself for not being more brave and said, "you look beautiful, you know?"

he could feel your smile against his shoulder. that was all he needed.

"hey neville...did you hear that y/n broke up with zabini last night?" seamus whispered. "apparently it was a whole big scene."

neville didn't know about that actually and hearing it from seamus first hurt him more than he wanted to admit. instead of answering his friend, he poured his attention in to brewing his potion to hopefully get out of snape's class unscathed.

a few hours had passed until he entered the greenhouse for his advanced herbology practices class which he had begged you to take with him. and there you were, carefully plucking weeds out of a venomous tentacula pot. "hey!" he said, coming up behind you.

you turned and he saw the night's effects on your face. dark circles, puffy eyes, a warm sweater covering your body instead of your usual perfect uniform. something tugged at his heart and if he could, he would've wrapped you up and swept you away immediately.

"hey nev," you said with a forced smile. "i'm assuming you heard the news since you're looking at me like i'm a kicked puppy."

he didn't respond but nodded, pulling on his own gardening gloves to assist you in your task. he knew you'd tell him about it without him having to pull it out of you.

"he was nice and all...but he was really mean sometimes and his friends didn't like me. i figured i was too good to put up with more comments about my hair and my uniform and my house but now i'm not so sure." there was a crack in your voice that you cursed.

this time, neville didn't hesitate to pull you into his arms. he had gotten taller, stronger, braver. he was still a gangly mess of limbs but now he knew how to control them and how to offer the best hugs he could. his arms were tight around your shoulders and a few tears slipped from your eyes. his head leaned down and laid upon yours.

"you are too good for that, y/n. you're too good for all of them. i just wish you could see that," neville whispered against your hair. you took in his words, digested them one by one, and felt slightly better. you pulled away and looked at him with watery eyes. from that moment forward, neville knew he would do anything to preserve your happiness and bring a smile to your face. he knew that he was in love with his best friend of six years.

"i don't know what you want from me, draco! i've tried to please you and make you happy a hundred times but it's never good enough!"

"no, it never is and it never will be! god, can't you see i stopped liking you weeks ago? with your nagging and neediness and crying, i don't think you'd ever be good enough for anyone."

neville stopped in his tracks outside the greenhouses. two voices yelled back and forth at each other and he easily distinguished them as y/n and presumably her now ex-boyfriend. neville's fist clenched at the words draco spat at his best friend.

suddenly, he heard stomping and draco flew by him in a rage. quickly, he rushed to where the voices were coming from and found you on the cold ground, upset but not crying. you didn't even look up when he came over and he took it upon himself to sit down next to you. no words were exchanged until-

"i don't know why i try. i don't know why nothing ever works for me. why i keep crying over boys, stupid boys. i don't know why i feel so worthless when those stupid boys break up with me. the worst thing, i think, is that i believe every word malfoy just said. that i won't be good enough for anyone. i will just graduate, work, live alone in a cottage, and watch everyone else fall in love around me but never with me," you rambled. words of self-doubt kept coming from your lips but you didn't know how to stop them. it was a ever-flowing stream of consciousness that neville bared for you. finally, your lips stopped moving and your mouth stopped producing sound. you took in a shaky breath and began to stand. neville's hand flew to your wrist and pulled you back down to the ground.

there, his eyes met yours with such an unwavering intensity that kept you planted. "listen to me, y/n," he started, "i have watched you cry over too many boys to deal with this any longer. not a single one of them deserved you or your love. you give so much and it crushes me that you get so little. do not believe draco, or zabini, or cormac when they make you feel like you're not good enough because you are. you're beautiful, so beautiful, and intelligent, kind, caring, witty, and anyone would be lucky to have you. i know because i have fallen so in love with you the past seven years and even in your ruined yule ball dress or your messy gardening clothes, i feel lucky to be by your side."

your eyes were wide at neville's confession but he didn't back down or take back his words. in fact, he felt relief knowing that his feelings were in the air now. after seven years of growing, he felt brave enough to admit things like that and do things like this.

"maybe the reason nothing ever worked is because i was always seeking you in everyone else," you finally whispered. neville's hand gravitated towards yours and like a moth drawn to an achingly beautiful flame, his lips found yours.

the kiss was everything you had been looking for. sweet, firm, passionate, but gentle. neville would never be mean to you, never degrade you, lie to you, stand you up, or do anything but offer peace and happiness as long as you live.

after a minute of pulling apart then reconnecting, neville leaned his forehead against yours. "i didn't know you had gotten so cliche, blossom." seven years of holding you had led to this and neville wouldn't change a single part of the journey.

#harry potter #harry potter fanfic #neville longbottom #neville longbottom x reader #neville x reader #harry potter x reader #draco malfoy #blaise zabini #fanfic #neville longbottom imagine #friends to lovers

452 notes · View notes

yan-lorkai · 2 months ago

Text

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡Day one: Azul sewing buttons over their darling eyes

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: I've been meaning to watch Coraline again because i remember that it was such a good movie. Then, thinking about it, I got kinda inspired by the whole button eyes thing and wrote this, and well it's october, so I had to start my halloween event with style <3

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, violence agaisnt the reader (hair pulling, choking, pulling their eyes out to sewn buttons on, yknow the usual), threats, gn!reader.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Tagging: @harukishiyo @kiraiyugen @orisaspirin

The room was cold, a stark contrast to the suffocating heat of your skin - winter had begun in both this world and yours, but here it was harsher and more cutting, impossible to bear even after you had wrapped yourself up warm.

Normally you would have taken refuge in Azul's room so the two of you could cuddle together and talk about each other's day. He was sweet and caring, so different from the Azul of your world. However, he had business to finish and asked only that you wait for him in the Mostro Lounge.

And you've been waiting for him for thirty minutes now.

It was strange to be there with no one around, other than the sound of the fish swimming in the aquariums, your own breathing and foot tapping impatiently against the floor. The atmosphere that used to be vibrant and welcoming during the mornings seemed strangely heavy - maybe it was the strangeness of being there alone, in a dark-toned environment, or maybe it was your damn curiosity.

Even though you loved this version of Azul more and liked this version of the twins more, because they were the opposite of what they were in your world and how they treated you there, you couldn't help but miss your world, even if just a little. You couldn't help but feel like recently the three of them had been acting strange, whispering among themselves, stopping talking whenever you were around, watching you like vultures looking for carrion.

Perhaps, you think, this will be the last time I return to this world.

You could leave whenever you wanted, you could walk through the door and never come back. You could do that even now - you look towards Azul's office. The secret door was there. Hidden behind his desk.

The first time you had walked through that door was because of your curiosity, you wanted to know what was on the other side. And both you and this Azul, with his beautiful buttons for eyes, stared at each other for several seconds before he looked away and put his hand to his chest, asking himself out loud if he was seeing things, if the stress was driving him crazy.

And Floyd, next to him, began to laugh uncontrollably, tears falling from his buttons as he saw the expression on your face and Azul's face. Which caught Jade's attention, who entered the office, saw you still in the same position, Azul's face, and began to laugh too.

Sweet moments like this became more and more distant, leaving you with a bitter taste in your mouth. They left you with a deep longing.

You wanted back the jokes and pranks, and the care the three of them had for you. You want to feel part of this world again. You want to sit beside Jade and watch the sun rising from his window, you want to bake and cook with Floyd and you want Azul to look at you his shiny buttons and soft smile that made you weak.

You wanted everything back. Yet you couldn't have it back.

You were sitting in a comfortable chair, unable to understand why you had been called there so late. The silence was only broken by the distant sound of the clock on the wall, marking the passing of time. The fish were all asleep now.

Suddenly, the door opened softly, and Azul entered the room, followed by Jade and Floyd. There was something strange about them. Their eyes… They didn't glow like they usually did, I mean, they were made of buttons, but even so, there were times when they glowed as brightly as normal, living eyes.

Instead, what you saw now were dull button eyes. Black and lifeless. Like black holes that stared at you without ever closing their eyes, always searching for a secret where there was none.

“Oh, I’m glad you could come,” Azul’s voice was both calm and cold, as if he wanted you there but didn’t care that you were there, there was still a hint of somberness in his tone. “We really wanted to see you… We’ve been thinking about something a lot lately, planning, I mean, I know it’s nerve-wracking, but of course it’s your decision.”

Your body froze as Jade and Floyd approached, their firm hands gripping your shoulders, pinning you to the chair. A disturbing smile formed on Floyd's face, his gaze fixed on you, but empty, as empty as the buttons in his eyes.

A soft sigh escaped your lips as Azul stepped closer, the crazy grin on his face accentuated even further by his black buttons. "What... What does all this mean?"

Azul pouted. He was between doubt and hope that you would accept whatever offer he had to offer. "That's just precaution."

He ignored your startled look, calmly taking out a small sewing kit from his pocket. Inside, needles and buttons. “You’re so out of date with your human eyes, obsolete, sorry to say. But we can fix that, buttons are much better, don’t you agree? Will you… accept them?”

You wanted to deny it, you wanted to scream and run away, and never look back. But the twins' strong hands held you tightly, leaving painful marks on your forearms. It would be impossible to fight them, you concluded.

Deceiving them, on the other hand... Maybe it would work.

You took a deep breath, trying your best to pretend irritation instead of fear. And then you lifted your chin and answered him. "Zuzu, as a couple I thought we should discuss this between us without them being present. You hurt me with your attitude."

Azul hesitated for a second, a faint blush rising to his cheeks. "Honey... I'm sorry, it's just..." He pressed his lips into a thin line as he forced his mind to work. "I'm sorry, but you didn't answer my question. Do you accept them?"

You turned your face away and bit your lips, a clear indication of your anger. You always did that when you were angry and that was what you wanted him to think. Jade, on the other hand, seemed to be enjoying the fight between the two of you while Floyd chuckled softly.

"Alone, Zuzu." You answered him. "Or maybe... You don't love me anymore and that's why you don't trust me?"

Your eyes watered, they were more tears of fear than sadness, and perhaps anger for not having listened to your instincts before and having escaped, still, Azul seemed to buy your act and let out a big sigh.

The sewing bag was placed on a table, a safe distance away, you watched, as he motioned for the twins to move away.

"You know what to do." He muttered.

And you turned in time to see Jade disappearing into the office while Floyd headed for the exit, as if they had rehearsed it. You suppressed a scream of rage inside you.

It was Azul, of course, he would now be predicting your strategies carefully, searching for a bluff or a lie. But you were confident that you could beat him somehow, that you could be smarter.

"We could have talked, you know... Instead of you just deciding everything for me... Like he always does." Your mention of another version of him made him grind his teeth, Azul hated being compared to his otherworldly self.

He had to be better, even better than himself.

He was waiting for whatever you had to say, but you weren't in any hurry at all, far from it. You were trying hard not to let the panic show in your eyes or posture. Still seated, you rubbed your sore arms, fully aware that he continued to stare at you.

Azul truly had an awful habit of staring at people until they felt uncomfortable and started to reveal what they didn’t want to. You took a deep breath. You couldn't let this technique work on you.

Instead, you stood up with feline steps, trying not to appear desperate as you approached him and wrapped him in an embrace. Almost instantly, he returned the gesture, but it wasn't comfortable.

It was suffocating, like a cage. Cold as ice. You missed Azul. Either one of them, any of them who loved you well and treated you kindly. But they were both the same. They were horrible. Bitter.

“When did we stop communicating, Zuzu?” It was a question with many answers, one that made your heart beat slowly with growing sadness. You looked at him. He looked back at you with a kind of nervous smile.

“I don't know,” Azul confessed, his voice losing its dominant cadence. He truly seemed not to know when things fell apart or maybe he was pretending very well to make you feel sorry for him. “But I was afraid you'd leave and never come back. There are so many differences between my world and yours, and if I were you, I would've gone back home.”

Your throat tightened at the confession but you didn’t allow guilt to take over. Not now, not when every second was vital. Gently, you stroked his hair, a gesture more to calm yourself than to soothe him.

“I would never leave, Azul.” Your words were soft, almost a whisper as you looked at him. “I always come back to you, don’t I? Because I know I love you more than I love my old world.”

Azul sighed, relaxing slightly in your embrace, as if he believed every word you said. But you knew you couldn’t let your guard down. He was far too clever for that and any slip would be fatal.

“Then why do you never really look at me?” His question cut like a knife and the grip around you tightened. “You always look beyond me, as if I’m… disposable. I don't want to be disposable, not to you.”

Your heart tightened and you had to fight to stay in control. You couldn’t hesitate now. “You’re not disposable, Azul. But you need to trust me, the same way I’m trying to trust you now, even after you’ve scared me like this.” You knew those words were fragile, a tightrope between a lie and the truth.

But it was all you had.

For a moment, Azul seemed to waver, his body trembling slightly against yours. This was your chance. Slowly, without letting go of the embrace, you reached for your pocket, where a small object was hidden, something that could help you free yourself from this trap.

“Do you… do you really want this?” He whispered, his voice broken by doubts and insecurities that seemed so human they almost made you hesitate. “For me to trust you?”

“Yes, I do.” You replied, keeping your gaze fixed on him, even though his button eyes couldn’t reflect the emotion he felt and that pulsed in your rapid heartbeat. “I believe we’re all too agitated right now, so how about we talk in the morning?”

Azul blinked, surprised. The tension in his arms eased, just a bit, but it was enough. In one swift, precise movement, you pulled the object from your pocket. In a desperate gesture, you pressed it against Azul's arm.

He choked, his button eyes widening with an expression that bordered on shock and horror. Betrayal was written on his face and eyes, and everywhere you could see, and you hated yourself for it.

“Why?” He asked, his voice sounding like that of a lost child, on the verge of tears. “Why are you doing this?”

“Because I still want to save you, Azul.” You said, even knowing that the words wouldn’t be enough to erase the darkness that had engulfed him. "And to save you, I have to save myself."

With a shove, you broke free from him and stepped back, keeping the knife raised as your heart pounded in your ears.

Azul stood still, blood dripping slowly from his arm, his button eyes shining with a mix of confusion and sadness that was painful to see. But you had no more time. You had to leave before Jade and Floyd noticed what was happening – you glanced over your shoulder, Jade was still in the office.

And then, with one last look at the man you loved and feared, you ran toward the exit, hoping there was still time to escape, praying that Floyd was far away, knowing there was no other option.

The room seemed to freeze the moment you made your move. The knife in your hand trembled slightly, you tightened your grip as you saw from the corner of your eye Azul was still motionless, you hoped the shock would be enough for him to hesitate.

But he didn’t.

In an instant, the confusion and vulnerability on Azul’s face transformed into something far darker, colder and more calculated. His hand moved with terrifying speed, grabbing your hair forcefully, the knife now pressed uselessly between the two of you as pain pulsed in your head.

“You think you can fool me like this?” He whispered, his voice regaining that controlled, ocean-cold tone. “I’m much smarter than that, my dear. You never stood a chance.”

Your body stiffened and a shiver ran down your spine. Azul smiled, a cutting, empty smilex and in one quick motion, he twisted your wrist, making the knife fall from your hand with a metallic clatter on the floor.

“You wanted to save me?” He laughed softly but there was no humor in his laugh. His fingers now squeezed your neck with increasing force. "And you thought running away would solve everything? I’d follow you to the other world and kill them all.”

Your heart pounded in your chest as oxygen gradually left you, his grip unyielding. There was no opening. Fear began to consume you and you finally realized you had underestimated Azul, how he had always been one step ahead.

He knew you would lie; he knew you would attack him.

And he had prepared for it.

“I never intended to hurt you, you know…” Azul leaned closer, his button eyes gleaming ominously in the dim light of the room. “But now, you’ve left me no choice.”

He released your wrist only to, in one agile move, grab your hair again, forcing you to look directly into his button eyes that, ironically, seemed to see even deeper into you. “I would never let you go. And now… You will learn to stay with me. Forever.”

You felt a tightening in your throat and the words you wanted to say were lost in the growing panic. Azul's touch on your neck was cold, but his smile, still gentle, was now a silent warning.

There was no more escape.

There never had been.

“I’ll show you how we truly belong to each other.” Azul’s voice was soft but it carried a weight that crushed any hope you still had.

He then made a quick gesture with his free hand and before you could react, Jade and Floyd emerged from the shadows, their twisted smiles amplifying the terror that gripped you - you hadn't even realized when they returned.

“You thought you could fool us all, didn't you?” Jade said softly, while Floyd chuckled beside him. “I thought we were friends, shrimpy? Friends don't abandon each other.”

Before you could even try to struggle, Jade and Floyd’s hands were on you again, holding your arms with a grip that made your bones ache even more than before. Azul took a step back, observing the scene with an almost analytical gaze, as if evaluating your last desperate attempt, uncaring about your tears and fear.

“Now, now,” Azul said calmly, picking up the small sewing kit he had set aside. “No more running, no more lies. Let’s start over, shall we? This time… you won’t escape.”

“It’ll be fun,” Floyd whispered, his voice drawn out with a sadistic tone that made your skin crawl.

Terror gripped you. Trying to move seemed futile with Jade and Floyd's strength holding you firmly in place. Your breathing quickened and your heartbeat echoed in your head like drums.

The silence was piercing and your senses were sharpened with fear. Jade and Floyd’s hands were tight around your arms, their claws firm and preventing any attempt at escape. They smiled sinisterly, their button eyes reflecting the soft glow of the light above, lifeless and yet piercing.

They weren't your friends.

Friends protect each other.

They don't let harm get you.

They don't lie to you.

Azul approached you with calm steps, his gentle smile looking more like a grotesque mask now. He held a long needle, with the black thread already attached, and in his other hand, there was a scalpel shining in the dim light.

“Oh, you’re scared, aren’t you?” Azul’s voice was soft, almost comforting but the wicked glint in his button eyes gave away his true intentions. “Don’t worry, it’ll be quick. If you had agreed, I would have given you an injection so you wouldn’t feel so much pain, but in this case, I think you deserve a little pain and fear.”

You tried to struggle, your body instinctively fighting the impending terror but Jade and Floyd chuckled softly as they kept your body firmly pinned down. Azul's scalpel flashed once more as he leaned closer, bringing the blade to eye level.

“Let’s begin…” Azul whispered, and without further warning, he pressed the cold blade against the skin around your left eye. "Breathe deep, my love. Don't go faiting on me now."

The pain was instantaneous, searing, as if your skin was being torn by fire. You tried to scream, but fear and horror tightened your throat.

All that came out was a muffled, desperate groan. The blade glided smoothly, with meticulous precision, as Azul cut around your eye with the same calmness as someone sewing simple fabric.

Floyd leaned close to your ear and laughed. “I can hear your heart beating so fast, so excited, shrimpy!”

Jade, with his restrained smile, whispered softly, “Don’t move too much or the cut might become… Uneven, fufu. Surely, you don't want this?”

Azul’s scalpel finally made the final cut around your eye, and you felt a horrible sensation — a pressure that dissipated, as if something vital was about to be ripped out of you. Azul calmly set the scalpel aside and, with two thin, cool fingers, reached for your eye. He pulled, and pain shot through you like a wave of fire.

You felt the connection snap. Your eye was ripped out.

The emptiness that was left was worse than the pain.

The world around you grew darker, more distorted, but there was no time for rest. Azul was already preparing to repeat the process on the other eye, the same expression of cold concentration as the needle and thread rested, waiting for the final touch.

“Please…” You pleaded, gripping onto the tweels arms for comfort. The pain too much to bear. "Please don't..."

It was horrible. More painful than any pain you had ever felt before. A scream tore from your throat as the blade made contact with your other eye, blood and tears mixing in equal measure as Azul calmly continued his work.

"Breathe in, Yuu, and breathe out." Jade instructed as the pain became suffocating and, instead of trying to run away, you sank into his and Floyd's arms, reaching for something, anything that could stop it. "It's almost over, darling. And you were so brave."

Floyd nodded, releasing his grip on you to instead lean down and wrap you in a hug. “Almost over. And soon you’ll be one of us.”

The sound of voices didn't seem to register in your mind, only the absurd amount of blood dripping down your face like a grotesque river. And then, Azul tugged on your other eye, leaving you completely in the dark.

It was dark and cold, and horrible. You felt Floyd pull you closer to him, no doubt trying to convey some comfort.

He failed.

Your lungs seemed to be unable to receive any air, but you managed to take a deep breath. Your head was already starting to hurt from the lack of air and the tears had stopped falling. The blood was still dripping in smaller quantities, and your ears were working at full speed to find out what they were doing, where Azul was moving.

No doubt, everyone should be smiling. You failed to convince Azul, you failed to escape, you failed to realize their intentions.

You failed at everything.

A hand on your shoulder made you jump, whimpering.

"Oh, I'm sorry, love," It was Azul and he sounded so happy, far too cheerful for someone who had just stolen your vision. "Which color do you want for your buttons? Baby pink or soft blue?"

His words made your blood run cold, each syllable laced with a casualness that felt like a knife twisting deeper into your heart. You blinked, even though you knew you couldn’t see anything now; the darkness was absolute, smothering and suffocating.

You could only feel — the wet warmth of blood trickling down your cheeks, the sharp sting where your eyes had once been.

“Please… Azul…” You rasped, throat dry from the pain and fear, struggling to form coherent words through the haze of agony. “Don’t… please…”

He shushed you softly, his fingers gently brushing against your cheek, tracing the blood that stained your skin. "Shhh, don't worry, dear. This is for the best, you'll see," He murmured, his tone soothing, as if he were comforting a frightened child. "Now, tell me. Which color do you prefer?"

You couldn’t tell if it was the pain or his words that made you feel like you were spiraling into madness. Your hands were trembling uncontrollably and you tried to lift them to your face, but Floyd’s grip on your wrists tightened, forcing them back down.

“Azul, come on,” Floyd whined, his voice filled with impatience. “They’re not gonna choose. Can’t we just go with the pink? It’s cuter and suits them better”

“Patience, Floyd.” Jade’s voice, smooth and unhurried, cut in. You could feel his presence, too, close, far too close, he too was leaning to join the hug that was suffocating you. “Our dear friend should have the opportunity to decide. It’s only fair, after all.”

Your mind raced, desperate for some kind of escape, some way to make them stop, but you were trapped. Every breath you took felt like shards of glass scraping down your throat, the panic rising, threatening to drown you.

“Azul,” you whispered again, barely more than a breath, “You don’t have to do this…”

“Ah, but I do,” He replied, and his tone shifted, taking on a wistful quality, like he was talking about something terribly precious to him. “Unless you don't want your vision back, then be my guest, darling.”

You choked on a sob, your body trembling violently now, your knees threatening to give out. “I want... But please... Just...”

But he wasn’t listening. Instead, he hummed thoughtfully, as if genuinely considering your words, yet he was too into his own little world thinking about the buttons that would adorn your adorable face.

"Blue," He finally decided, almost sounding satisfied. "It'll match the shade of my eyes. Yes, I think that's perfect."

“Good choice, boss,” Floyd chimed in and you could feel the grin in his voice, his excitement palpable. “Let’s get started then, yeah?”

Azul’s grip on your shoulder tightened, not painfully, but firmly, like he was anchoring you to him. "Don't worry," He murmured softly, so close you could feel his breath against your skin. "This will only hurt for a moment."

“No—no, please!” You tried to jerk away, but Jade’s hands were suddenly on you too, their combined strength pinning you in place, forcing you to be still. Panic surged through you, a scream building in your throat as you felt the sharp, metallic touch of a needle pressing against your skin.

Azul’s voice came again, soothing and gentle, but laced with that same terrifying undertone. “Just stay still, love. It'll all be over soon, and then… then you’ll be perfect.”

And as the needle began to pierce through, the pain flaring white-hot, you knew with a sickening certainty that there would be no escape.

Not anymore.

130 notes · View notes

scififettuccine · 5 months ago

Text

Victoria Neuman x Fem!Reader: Darts

Pairing: Victoria Neuman x Fem!Reader

Summary: Quick One-Shot Hurt/Comfort! Your girlfriend finds you playing darts in your office, and she can tell that something is up. If there's one thing Victoria doesn't like, it's seeing her girlfriend upset.

Word Count: 1.25k

Warnings: Darts (?), mentions of Homelander, mentions of Homelander being a whore, mentions of family death, glass cuts, corrupt government system, Vicky being a raging lesbian

Notes: I wrote this after playing darts for 3 hours. As you can see the concept has infected my brain. IF YOU DON"T UNDERSTAND HOW CRICKET WORKS WITH DARTS I'M VERY SORRY. (And honestly I don't know if the way my family plays is exactly right so don't come after me Dart Experts.) I know I put up a pole, and this option lost by a long shot, but half of it was already written and I needed to finish it since it was super gut wrenching <3

Your parents had added to the growing number of many unnecessary obituaries that came out of Homelander’s career. It happened around this time, ten years ago. Your parents had owned a bakery in the city, and on a hot day ten summers back, someone attempted to rob their small business. Of course, after the authorities were called, Vought added their golden boy to the scene. They must have expected some sort of heroic story, with a headline like “The Seven’s Homelander saves the lives of two elderly bakers, and keeps the beloved business open.” But instead of that headline, they weren't mentioned in any headline…Only in the obituary section of a few local newspapers due to Vought covering up Homelander’s sloppy use of his heat vision. The last you saw of your parents' bodies was the bottom half of one…and the top half of the other. You were twenty, planning your parent’s funeral all on your own from your dorm room halfway across the country. All Vought sent was a card extending their deepest condolences, signed by the company's CEO, and Homelander himself. Since then? You’ve had a vendetta against Homelander and Vought as a whole. Coincidentally, that's how you met your girlfriend, Victoria Neuman, and started working for The Federal Bureau of Superhuman Affairs.

You had been in your office all day, admittedly drowning yourself in work so you didn't have to think about it all. But once there was nothing else to drown yourself in, you cracked open another redbull and decided to play a game of darts. Since you didn't have a partner, you just decided to time yourself to see how long it would take you to clear the scoreboard: Three twenties, three nineteens, three eighteens, three seventeens, three sixteens, three fifteens, and three bullseyes. And of course…all your attempts were aimed at the sympathy card that had turned ten years old this morning. You played darts often, so you had gotten down to the bullseyes within 10 minutes. Yet the more you missed, the more you got upset…the more your mind drifted. You thought about what might have happened had you not gone off to college.

Double ninteens.

You thought about what might have happened had you just stayed and helped to better the family business.

Double sixteens.

You thought about what would have happened if you would have answered the phone when they called you earlier that day.

Shattered glass.

You gasped as the last dart you threw hit the frame you had hung on the wall, housing a photo of you and your parents holding a photo of you and your parents at your highschool graduation. You shook your head as you walked over to the mess…the dart you had thrown had pierced right through the center of the photo…right through your face. It was lodged deep into the wall, due to the force of your throw. You wanted to cry, scream out of frustration even…But a voice broke you out of your thoughts.

“Everything alright in here, pretty girl…?” You heard the voice of your girlfriend and turned around, stepping over a bit to try and hide the mess of glass shards. When your eyes met hers, there was a concerned look on her face.

“Yeah…Yeah. It’s all good, Vic. I just knocked a picture frame off the wall.” You said, desperately trying to make your voice sound a little more upbeat than it truly was. Vicky raised a brow and looked up at the dart sticking out of the wall, then over to the dart board, and then to the card that was push-pinned to the dart board. Her gaze immediately softened, and her heart dropped.

“Baby…” She started, walking further into your office so she could close the door behind her. You shook your head and turned back around, trying to pick up some of the bigger glass shards with your hands.

“I’m fine. It’s not-” You cut yourself off with a wince as a piece of the glass slit your palm. “Shit-” Vicky shook her head and quickly moved to your side. She took your hand and turned your palm so the glass you had collected would fall back into the pile.

“You’re not fine. And you’re clearly not thinking straight if you're picking up broken glass with your bare hands, you're smarter than that.” Vicky sighed, moving to untuck her dress shirt so she could wipe the blood from your palm. It was moments like these where you truly understood how much Vicky cared about you. She would ruin a perfectly white dress shirt just to wipe blood off of a small cut. “You’ve gotta talk to me, pretty girl…What’s going on? You’ve been in here all day, there's 3 empty cans of RedBull on your desk, and you just threw a dart through a picture frame. Talk. Now.” You sighed and tried to pull your hand away, to which she held it a bit tighter.

“I can’t fucking stand it. How Vought gets off scott free after every fucked up thing they do. I was twenty years old, planning my parents' funeral from my dorm room. And what was he doing? Probably getting sucked off by some higher up for ‘a job well done.’ My parents were the only people I had. I sat in the first pew of that church alone. Completely and utterly alone.” You paused to take a breath, and pointed to the card pinned to the dart board. “That’s all I got. That’s all I have to show for it. I got…what? A fifty cent card with a bogus apology and two signatures on it? My parents were-” You choked on your words. “My parents were fucking sliced in half-” Your voice seemed to have left you as Vicky pulled you against her chest, being careful of the pile of glass shards.

“I know, baby…I know.” She cooed softly, tracing patterns on your back. Admittedly, you just sobbed into her shoulder, clutching onto her blazer as if it would disappear if you didn't. The two of you just sat like that. You couldn't even say how long. It was just the two of you, Vicky whispering comforting words to you as you let the ten years of suppressed emotions finally find some relief. “You are so strong, honey…And so incredibly loved, I want you to know that. You never have to hide these things from me. Whenever you want to talk about it, I'm here. I don’t care if I’m at a meeting with the god damn president…I’ll get to you as fast as I can.” Vicky pulled your face off her shoulder, and wiped your tears ever so gently. “I love you…So fucking much. It hurts me to see you like this.” Vicky herself was almost choked up at the sight of you in such sadness. She kissed your lips softly, before she moved to press her forehead against yours, her hands holding both sides of your face. “What can I do to make you feel even just a little bit better…? Say the word and it's yours.” She whispered. You swallowed and took a breath as you placed your hands over hers.

“Ice cream…and a Band-Aid.” You replied softly. Vicky laughed and squeezed your cheeks ever so slightly.

“That's it? Just ice cream and a Band-Aid? You could have anything and you chose ice cream and a Band-Aid?” She smiled and shook her head, pressing another gentle kiss to your lips.

“Yeah…That’s it.” You replied softly.

“Alright pretty girl…what flavor?”

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well...what can I say? Shes my favorite. Hope you liked it as much as I did, most likely starting either Butcher x Supe!Reader or Soldier Boy x Sidekick!Reader real soon depending on the results of the pole...It's been really really close! Adieu!

#the boys fanfic #homelander #vought #the boys fandom #the boys #the boys s4 #the boys season 4 #victoria neuman #victoria neuman x reader #wlw #wlw fanfic #lgbtqia #lgbtq #hurt/comfort #billy butcher #the boys fanfiction #wlw post #sapphic fanfic

339 notes · View notes

nothing-tolose · 7 months ago

Text

Foolish One.

warning: reader being so dumb bcs she always ignores every signs and dreaming too much <3

if you have criticism and suggestions to me, you can just knock my dm or send it to inbox <3

a/n: this whole fic was messed up like REALLY REALLY MESSED UP please bear w me ;) have fun anw

wc: 6K

daily click

Cards are on the table. It's way past midnight, yet the living room is bathed in light, and laughs from your friends all over the room. Here you are, having a sleepover for four nights with your friends and now playing UNO cards with them. None of you all can sleep, that's why now you were sitting on the dining chair, with three cards on your hand.

"Ellie! It's your turn!"

You glanced at Ellie, who was sitting across the table, as Sophie called out her name. God, you couldn't help yourself but screaming inside your heart as you saw her smile on her face. Those freckles on her face, green emerald eyes, and the scar on her eyebrow, she literally got your attention.

You knew that you were already fell in love with her, ever since you saw her on Aimee's instagram story 3 months ago. Head over heels even. But one thing you can't help it from yourself everytime you fall in love, you were too afraid to reach her out. Of course, your friends giving you a lot of advice so you wouldn't be afraid to start a conversation with Ellie. You already tried on their advice, such as texting her through direct messagw but always ended up you delete it before you could even send the text.

So many negative thoughts when you tried to reach her. What if she doesn't like me? What if she call me a freak? What if she hates me? A countless what-ifs lives rent free on your mind. And it explains why you weren't close enough with Ellie, you were too afraid and too shy to start a conversation.

You knew all about her from your friends. They'd tell you what's her interest, what she likes and hates, what she afraid of, and so much more. You do realize that you can't just got her news only from your friends, so you've been following her instagram account by your not really a suspicious fake account named @/16candlesf00l. Thank God her account isn't a private account, and thank God she didn't block your account!

You've also been following her TikTok with another fake account since she was pretty famous there with around 8,000 followers she has, and that makes you can easily leave comments on every video she posts without worried about she's going to confused, you usually leaving comments like, "Oh, you're really pretty!" and other flirty remarks. Then one day, you comment, "Did you cut your hair?" and she responds with just "Yeah." Despite her brief reply, you respond enthusiastically with "Should we get married?"

A single word, 'Yeah,' had already sent you into an hour of rolling on your bed, giggling, and playfully kicking your feet against the pillows.

She didn't reply to your comment after that, and you didn't mind. At least there was a bit of interaction with you, right?

"Hey!"

Snapped back to the reality by Cassandra's tap on your shoulder, she leaned in and whispered to you, "Girl, I know you're head over heels for Ellie, but how long are you going to just stare at her, huh?"

"What-" You cast a quick glance at Ellie, unable to believe what Cassandra had just said. Yet there she was, looking back at you with that slight smile on her lips, her fingers idly playing with the cards in her hand. It was clear she had been watching you for at least a minute or two.

You quickly turned your head left and right, let out an awkward chuckle to Cassandra. Oh really, you lost your words.

"Uh- Cass- I.. Uhm, what color-" You stuttered, you started feel like this situation was fucking embarrassing especially when Ellie still looking at you, not moving even for a second. Cassandra and the others waiting you pull out your cards.

And for God's sake, you really wanted to hide yourself in a closet right now.

"Hey, why did you stuttered? It's blue, go pull out your card, babe!" Cass slapped your back (not in verbally way obviously. Immediately you pulled out your card, you didn't see the number first but the color.

You saw Ellie suddenly get up from her chair, she handed her cards to Chloe who's already won the game first, "Chloe, can you play my cards for me? Em—" she stopped, clearing her throat before she continued, "I have an emergency, I'll be back later,"

Chloe just nodded without giving her a glance, hands taking the cards. Meanwhile your eyes were never leaving her gesture leaving the dining room to backyard porch.

3 hours passed after the moment where you got caught by your friends for staring at Ellie for too long. Everyone was asleep, except you. It was really really boring because you're being the only one who can't sleep, meanwhile everyone is drowning in their own sweet dream.

The silence in Sophie's bedroom was so quiet that the ticking of the clock feels so loud here. You get up from the bed really slow and careful as you didn't want to disturb Cassandra's sleep, as she was a light sleeper. As you made my way out of the bedroom, you cast anxious glances at Cassandra, concerned that the door might creak loudly upon opening.

You turned your heels towards the backyard porch, then leaning your back against the fence. Your hands grabbed a cigarette and lighter from your pocket. As you took a drag, you sighed, your mind replaying the moment from two hours earlier. After revealing your cards, Ellie had turn aside her gaze, yet you couldn't shake the feeling that she was stealing glances at you every few minutes.

Okay, maybe you're really delusional.

"I thought I'm the only one who couldn't sleep?"

You fixed your position and looking around to find where the voice came from, an that's when you spotted Ellie from the house, pulling on her gray hoodie as she stepped to you. Did she just talking to you? Like, for the first time ever?

Jesus, 'No fucking way,'

You chuckled, "I guess my eyes weren't in the mood for sleep," you said. She joined you, resting her arms on the railing right beside you. "So," you said as you turned and tossed the cigarette into the trash bin below the porch, "What keeps you awake from sleeping? I mean, it's three in the morning and everyone else is asleep except us."

"I don't know," she shrugged her shoulders, and you tilted your head, "You don't know?"

"Yeah, I just… I don't even know what I'm doing before I realize it's already 3 AM. I guess I was thinking about something, getting lost in it, and then I forgot it once I realized I'm still awake," As she spoke, her smile broadened and she turned her head towards you, her gaze firmly fixed on yours.

You nodded in response. You couldn't look at her directly for fear of blushing, even as you sensed her gaze from the corner of your eye. Deep down in your mind, you found it hard to believe what had just happened. The girl you had a crush on since three months ago, the girl you always adored from afar because you were too shy and afraid, the girl you've been flirted on her TikTok post comment section are the same girl who just talking to you a few seconds ago.

The atmosphere turned really awkward when neither of you continued the conversation. The only sounds were from the insects on the ground and the occasional car passing by on the street. You humming, for at least the situation wouldn't be too awkward if you do that.. maybe.

Ellie opened her mouth, "How did you met Sophie?"

"Hm?" you glance at her and gasped the next second, "Oh, Sophie! I thought you were speaking some words," you fall silent, hummed, and let out a little chuckle from your lips, "I've known her since the first year; she was my first friend at school before she introduced me to Aimee, Cassandra, and Chloe. We've gotten along ever since… until today. And.. what about you?"

"Sophie has been my friend since childhood, we were on the same school when I was 7, her dad was my father's fishing buddy for years and we were on the same neighborhood. Now she's more like my.. older sister," she stopped, before pull herself away from the railing, "But whenever I'm with her, it feels as though I'm speaking to an old woman who lives for a long time. She told everything to me, the dos and don'ts, and even offers five minutes of advice whenever she thinks I need it!"

You groans between your laugh, "Really? No way, she did the same thing to me all the time! She's truly the mom, isn't she? Oh, you know what? One day I was scammed by someone claiming to sell tickets for my favorite singer's tour. I ended up losing about 200 bucks, they blocked my numbers and didn't say anything! And she—"

"Wait, 200?!" Ellie interrupted, her tone a mix of surprise and shock. You nodded and chuckled as you saw her mouth fall open. "That's… quite a lot," she added.

"I know! Jeez, I was so dumb at that time, and Sophie was the first person I told, and she really scolded me for an entire day. She keeps bringing it up in the middle of any conversation, as if I didn't hear her the first time," you paused for a moment, taking a breath before continuing, "She even said things like 'I told you so, I damn well told you!', 'If only you had been patient, you wouldn't have been scammed', and 'With that money, you could've bought your precious expensive book,' ugh, I wasn't born for those words!" you imitated Sophie's voice, laughing lightly as you did.

You both laughed, the conversation continues as you both found a lot common in each other's interests when you mentioned your favorite comic book. You swore she's the sweetest when she's talking, eyes always locked on you, the funniest jokes she tossed, it all raises your hopes too high. Two hours flew by, until you started feeling sleepy and decided to head back to the bedroom, but when you were already laying down, the sleepy instantly gone.

You were talking to yourself in whispers before you asleep, mind keep thinking about Ellie and there was no any signs to stop thinking about her. So many wishful thoughts and imagines if you were dating her. Yet, no matter how long you could keeping her in your mind, there's always some voices showed up in your head and saying such things like;

'You really never learned from your past,'

'There's so many girls out there who maybe caught her attention,'

'It'd seem so sad if you're the only one who fell to her and she's not.'

'Aren't you afraid if she end up with someone who's not you like how the last time you fell in love?'

And you really hate those voices, trying to block them all out without giving a single damn to it. Instead, you tried to believe that things will work out with Ellie, unlike the last time when you fell for Robin—the girl who started dating someone else the day after you confessed your feelings to her.

No, you're not going to end up the same like that. Not now, not with Ellie.

"What if she confesses her feelings to me?" you mumbled, biting your lower lip as you began giggling and buried your face in the pillow, "God, I'm so fucking delusional!" although you said that, you couldn't stop for imagining if she were tell you about her feelings, going on a date to somewhere, chilling at her house or yours, and discussing about every novel you both likes.

It was so.. cute, you thought. However, you didn't realize that you were projecting those images as hopes onto yourself and it'd lead you to breaking down if you weren't aware.

You push the pillow away from your face, shifting into a side-lying position. A smile remains ever-present on your lips. You breathe in and out slowly, then closed your eyes, it's literally five in the morning and you haven't sleep.

"Have a good sleep, Ellie,"

Ugh, you did not.

Two months down the line. Returning home from Sophie's holiday house was quite late, a full day after everyone else had left. You had the option to ride with Cassandra or take up Ellie's offer, but you were waiting for your mom, who had promised to pick you up. She didn't show up for four hours, then she texted you that she would be a bit late, and you ended up waiting her until the next afternoon.

You've called her phone countless times, but she never answers. You can't turn to your dad for help either, as he's been in Greece for three months. And your brother? He would never waste his time just for drive ten hours from his place to Sophie's home and then take you to your apartment.

So, how did you managed to get home?

Ellie came back the next night after Sophie mentioned you to her. You were overwhelmed with guilt for having declined her offer to drive you home the day before, especially since she returned just to take you home, facing a five-hour drive. She knew you weren't really in a mood after waiting literally a night for your mom who texted you that she couldn't pick you up after you were already with Ellie. She knew that. That's why she made a stop at convenience store, bought a lot of foods and drinks before taking you to the closest beach for some relaxation.

You've been getting along with Ellie. Ever since the day she made sure you got home safely by driving you home, there hasn't been a day without texting, talking, and even meeting up with her. And indeed, for heaven's sake, she made you fall deeper for her, more than ever. The way she acts around you, the way she talked to you, the way she is paying her attention at you every time you tell her your story. She really keeps your hopes still high.

She always asks you to go out at least three or four nights a week, and you've never said no. After all, it's not a waste of time when the girl you have a crush on—the same one you always comment on her posts—is asking you out. Every time you went out with her, she was incredibly sweet, as if you were girlfriends. But sometimes, she'd leaving you too soon, she would be saying sorry because she had an emergency. And it wasn't just once. But you didn't mind at all since she still brought you out to any places.

Ellie would purchase everything for you; even when you babbled thoughtlessly, she would disappear for a bit and come back with an item you had mentioned in her hand. You have always warned her against purchasing such items without your consent-literally all the time, and although she agreed, she never heard your warning.

"I swear to God, Ellie. I just told you an hour ago to not buy me some things I babbled about!"

She smiled, "Oh.. really?" you scoffed, couldn't hide the smile from your lips, "You're smiling."

"Shut up, Williams!"

A couple weeks had gone by, you started to questioning yourself about what were you to her? Girlfriend? Or were you just trapped in situationship? The worse, you were only a friend to her. You couldn't find the answer. It seems like she might have the same feelings towards you. She made you flustered, made you felt like you were the luckiest person alive. On the other hand, she never mentioned what relationship you both are in right now. You couldn't even tell if you were deserve to feel hurt or not.

Despite everything, you know how to pretend you're fine when you're hurt, right..?

Now go back to the present, you found yourself resting your head on Ellie's shoulder, half-watching the netflix show on the TV. Instead of watching the show, you were busy on your own thoughts. Confused. Who are you to her? Just friends? Situationship? You knew it too well, it felt like you can call her as yours but in reality you were not.

"Everything's alright?" Ellie interrupted your thoughts as she spoke. You nodding your head in response, lied. And unfortunately you weren't good at hiding expressions. She can feel that you were far from alright.

"Are you sure?" she asked, paused the show. Then she pinched your cheeks, leaving you laughing and grabbing her wrists as you pleaded with her to stop, "You know, you can tell me if there's anything wrong. I'll help you," she added, her fingers stopped pinching your cheeks now.

You chuckled, "That's so nice of you, Williams. But trust me, nothing's wrong now."

You keep resting your head on her shoulder, your gaze wandering around her apartment. Three minutes later, you find yourself sinking back into your daydreams. About someday, when you both are older, these moments would be the things you always laugh about over the tea every morning while Ellie watching the news.

"It was so funny back then,"

"Yeah! Oh, remember when you drove me home but the you stopped at the beach!"

You huffed, realizing once more that it was all just a dream.

"Ellie," you called her name all of the sudden, with you playing with your fingers, "Yeah?"

"Do you ever... believe that if we were patient enough to wait someone we had a crush on, they'll coming to you?" you don't know, why the question was suddenly came out from your mouth.

She hummed at first, and laughed, "No.. I guess. Because, what if you were already waiting them patiently but apparently they weren't the one for you?"

You went silent, she tilted her head to you, "Why did you asked suddenly though? Did someone caught your attention for a while and you're waiting for them?" and you nods.

"Who?"

'It's you, dumbass.' you secretly rolled your eyes.

"I won't tell you," you sigh out, "I've been waiting them for these past 5 months, and for God's sake, she's too hard for me to reach!" you slammed your hands into your thighs, inviting her laugh.

"It's almost half of a year, and you still waiting?" you nods to her question, biting your lower lip and avoiding her gaze. You heard her letting out a heavy sigh, "What if they never come to you? As if their love were never gonna come either?"

You froze, losing all your words. Why was she asked you like she knew you were talking about her?

Thereafter her phone buzzed leading Ellie quickly flipped her phone like she doesn't want you to curious, "I'm going out for at least ten minutes, you don't mind?"

And who are you to said no and pleaded to stay here? You were her guest on her house, nothing more like that. In the end you answered okay, almost whispered.

You were spying her through the corner of your eye as she walked out onto the balcony and closed the door. You could see her from inside when she walked back and forth with a big grin on her face, occasionally laughing. You really wanted to know what was going on, what the conversation was about that made her laugh so freely. But you knew your boundaries; you weren't supposed to ask her personal questions.

At one time she talked too loud you could even hear it from where you sit, "You'll come back? You're kidding, right? I swear to God, Emma, I missed you so much!"

Wait, who's Emma?

Ellie looked so excited on conversation with someone she just called Emma. From what you've heard through friends, Ellie didn't have many friends, and they mentioned only Jesse, Dina, Aimee, Chloe, and Sophie when you first confessedyour feelings about Ellie to them. So.. who's Emma then?

What if she were Ellie's girlfriend? No, there's no fucking way. Five months ago your friends said she was single, so that.. can't be. You immediately get rid all your negative thoughts about the girl Ellie mentioned on her phone call.

Enough staring her too long and overthinking. You shrugged your shoulders, act like you didn't care at all, 'I shouldn't think about this.. No. Please, please, please, try to think how sweet Ellie when she's with me..'

You changed the show into the romance one, you cannot stop smiling, you dream up if those romance scenes you watched right now was you and Ellie. The thought from you think about when you were couldn't sleep at Sophie's holiday house came back, 'Will Ellie ever open up about her feelings for me?'

It was so dumb. Do you ever think like that? The answer is yes, but who cares?

Your phone buzzed, and as you glanced at the screen, a notification was displayed.

911 sophie

hiiiii babe let me tell u i'm at aimee's rn

You

helllooooo what r u doing w her?

911 sophie

aimee was about to inviting you to her house tonight, and the others too. but her phone was DEAD RN she's planning on making a whole fucking meal like.. for 6 people??!! anyway wya???? she told me to buy some foodstuff at supermarket but i'll be fucking bored if im alone since she cant go out she's too busy with her other food creation or idk whatever she called it sooooo do you want to accompany me say yes i'll pick you up RIGHT NOW

You chuckled as you saw her text. Aimee was definitely too focused on what's her doing right now. You could tell how bored Sophie was there.

You

does she invite ellie too? anw pick me up pleaseeee ms. torres;))) at ellie's house love u!

Your gaze went to Ellie's, seems like she already finished the call. It's been 4 hours since you got here, and maybe it's enough for today even though you haven't finished the show you're currently watching.

911 Sophie

yeah she invited ellie too why? huh you were at what??? ellie?? GIRL HOW

You

mmmm i'll tell u later ;p JUST PICK ME UP ALREADY

911 sophie

OH CMON okay i'll be there in 10 xo

You paused the TV show and rose from the couch, reaching for your sling bag on the floor. At the same time Ellie, had came back from the balcony, you could tell how good her mood is by her smile.

"Where are you going?" she asked, noticing that you had already slung your bag over your shoulder. She made her way over to you, her fingers were scratching her back neck.

"I… Uh… Sophie asked me to go out for buy some foodstuff.." you pointing your thumb to behind before falling silent for a moment. "Is… is it okay if I leave now?" you ask, feeling a wave of regret wash over you immediately after, cursing on yourself for even questioning why she wouldn't be okay with you leaving.

'God, I'm so weird!'

"Oh… Okay," Ellie glanced back before turning her head to stare at you, "I was about to leave as well. Where will she meet you? And maybe I can drive you—"

You cut her off, shaking your head, "Actually… she said she'll pick me up here in ten minutes." Ellie nodded in response, her mouth forming an 'O'. She made her steps into her bedroom after she smiled at you and came back with her wearing her green jacket.

Your other side was sooo curious. Where is she going? Why did she smile so happily after the call? And what made her so excited during the call earlier? Will she be with someone, or will she be alone? You don't know, and you want to know. You really want to know. Curiosity inside you feels like started to eat you up. You immediately shook your head, pushing away your curiosity. You started talking to yourself in a really low voice, as if you hadn't said anything, "I should stop doing that."

"Ellie, I…" you were staring at her as she hummed, her gaze was met yours, "I think I'm gonna wait on the front porch." You were about to make your way to the front door, but her hand grabbing your wrist stopped you. "Ellie?"

Your eyes locked on hers; her expression was different from a minute ago. It was... guilty? Sad? You couldn't even tell. What's going on now? Was this related to her call minutes ago?

"I just... want to say sorry,"

You tilted your head. Seriously, what's going on?

"So, did you mean she was saying sorry to you without explain everything?"

Now, you were in Aimee's kitchen with Sophie, picking up the conversation that had been put on hold hours earlier. Aimee was in her bathroom, and here it's only you and Sophie whereas the rest on the dining room. You did tell her everything what happened today, once you asked her who's Emma, but Sophie wasn't sure if she know that girl because Ellie never told her about Emma. You already asked Aimee too, and all she said was, "I think I've heard that name.. I don't know." they literally left you all disappointed.

"I was about to ask her why she was apologizing to me, but I couldn't because you came to pick me up," you said, rolling your eyes at Sophie, which was followed by laughter from both of you.

"Whoa, so it was my fault, young lady?" her tone was changed along with the tip of her lips moved down shaping like upside-down 'U', "Maybe she did something wrong and you didn't notice it. Don't take this seriously because I'm just trying to speculate."

You scoffed at Sophie, "I don't know, Sophie. As far as I remember, she didn't do anything wrong that would make me mad or upset," you said, turning your shoulders down and positioning the knife between the apple slices you had cut earlier.

"Try to ask later, babe. I'm pretty sure she'll tell you later," Sophie placed her hand on your shoulder, before she moved to your left side. You gave her a disagreement gesture, huffed so loudly, made her expression was changed in seconds.

"She haven't talk to me since she arrived here, Soph," head down as you resting your hands to the counter surface, "What?"

You huffed once again. Indeed, Ellie hadn't spoken to you or even glanced your way since she arrived. It was as if you had done something to pissed her off, but you hadn't. She didn't text or call you like she always did after you left her apartment, the last message was when you told her you were already at her house. You were too desperate to find an answer or even to asking her. She seemed like a different person, completely changed from when she last spoke to you hours ago.

You both went back to dining room, sitting right next to each other while Ellie was sitting in front of you. She didn't give you a single glance, as if you weren't there. It's not like what she did when the night at Sophie's holiday house back then. She checked her phone every 10 minutes like she's waiting something important.

Your eyes were never left her gestures during the dinner. Even when your friends tried to talk to you, you just answered them briefly because you weren't in the mood to talk. Twenty minutes later, Ellie excuses herself and leaves everyone else, including you. She takes her steps to the kitchen. You see her hiding her smile by biting her lip.

Does she even realize you're here?

"Is everything okay?" asked Chloe, sitting next to you. "You seem a bit off, and I noticed Ellie haven't been talking to you either. Is there something wrong between you two?" she moved her chair so she can move closer to you.

"We're fine," you claim, but it's not entirely true. You might be pretending, yet you're actually okay with Ellie since you've never argued before. Chloe grunts, sensing the dishonesty in your words.

"I know you're lying. C'mon, you can be honest with—"

You shake your head, you don't want this conversation to continue too far. Enough for tonight. "We're really fine, Chloe. Believe me."

Chloe nods, she's back to her position, "Okay then. But still, tell me—no, I mean, please tell us if something's wrong with you two, we can help."

You excused yourself to the bathroom, but Ellie's voice in the kitchen halted your steps. You never realized what are you doing in front of the bathroom door, until you found yourself leaning on the wall right next to the kitchen where you heard her voice. She sounded so happy, laughs between her words, saying jokes that she had already told you.

The ache in your heart was undeniable. Who could she be talking to on the phone? Emma, perhaps?

You bite your lower lip, your hands wiping away the tears that threaten to fall from your eyes. You enter the bathroom and sit on the toilet, head bowed.

"Why does it hurt so much? I'm just her friend, right?"

Right, you had no right to be jealous or hurt when Ellie never thought about you being her girlfriend even though she treated you like one.

The next day, neither Ellie nor you started the conversation on messages like you two always did every morning. It felt so empty to you as you woke up and didn't find any signs of Ellie texting you.

You did your morning routine as usual without giggles and smiles. Everything went too quiet. You didn't mumbled or even talking to voice notes that you'e always sent to Ellie.

As night fell, time passed quietly. You didn't venture out, choosing instead to isolate yourself from the world, turned on the do not disturb mode on your phone even though Ellie hadn't sent any messages. The conversation remained where it was left off yesterday morning.

You couldn't resist the urge to text her, yet it all seemed no use when you deleted every word you were about to send.

You walked back and forth in your bedroom, hand holding the phone as your fingers scrolling through TikTok. None of the videos you watched, all you did was scroll and scroll, not really in a mood though but you were bored. Really bored.

Fingers stopped as you saw the profile picture, recognizing it too well, more than your own profile picture. It wasn't a video, but photos with a song called 'The Perfect Pair'. You knew who the figure in the photo was: auburn hair, sitting in the driver's seat, wearing the same jacket you saw yesterday, and the gray baseball cap she always wears.

Your eyes caught the other figure: long wavy ginger hair, sitting in the passenger seat, her hand holding the person you recognized before. God, your heart was beating faster than you could pant.

Slowly you sit on the floor, leaning onto your side bed.

You saw the caption, 'Soft launch' with some hashtag she always put in there. And the user she tagged, @/user3291emms.

That was the time you felt like something crashed your heart and broke into hundreds pieces. You know if you were too curious, you'll get the consequences. You opened the comment section, there was she commented on her own post, 'Welcome back to Boston, sweetheart.'

You feel like you're the most foolish girl who ever lived. Suddenly, you remember something that you had forgotten when you had a conversation face to face with Chloe.

"I heard from Dina, Ellie had been talking to someone for a while, the girl named Emma or something."

You didn't listen to Chloe that day because you were too busy adoring Ellie, who was playing her guitar far from you. You cursed yourself, mind repeating all those moments you always thought it meant nothing to you and her. All those moments became signs that Ellie wasn't the one.

The moment when she excused herself in the middle of UNO games, the moment when she always left too soon after she took you out, the moment when she was on the call on the balcony and she got too excited. The moment she was about to go, she was going to pick up Emma from the airport. And when she left the dinner party earlier than others, she was going on a date with Emma.

You were crying so hard, you put your phone right beside you while you buried your face between your arms.

"How could I not see the signs?" you spoke between your tears.

The voices in your head were right; you never learned anything from the past. Now, the voices were telling you why did you always ignore the signs. Because you were too busy loving someone, which led you to forget the worst-case scenario if they weren't loving you as you did to them.

Maybe you'll finally learn your lesson.

You sit there alone on the bench, at the park that Ellie always used to take you. Eyes never leaving two figures from afar, they seemed having fun on their own. Ellie hugging Emma tightly, giving her a lot of kisses while laughing at something. Thoughts of imagining if Emma were you came, which immediately you push away.

Ellie never texted you again or called you, or even talking to you, and you were trying to get used to it. Every single day, you tried to resist the urge to check the messages that had started to be abandoned.

You smiled slightly, you stood and picking up your bag, ready to leaving the park soon. Taking a small step into the exit.

You didn't know, Ellie noticed your existence right after she's done hugging Emma. Her eyes locked on your gestures, she didn't move even for an inch. As you get up from the bench, she did the same thing like she was about to take her step to you.

Oh, she did it anyway. Your wallet dropped without your knowledge. Ellie told Emma to wait for a minute and hurried over to you. She picked up your wallet and noticed the Polaroid of you and her from when she took you to the beach before. Something stirred in her chest as she wondered why you still held onto the Polaroid despite her having hurt you by avoiding you like a completely stranger.

"Hey, your wallet dropped," she tapped your shoulder twice, before you turned around.

You were surprised, Ellie was right standing in front of you. After all these months of being a stranger to each other, she showed up suddenly. You cleared your throat, took the wallet immediately, and put it in your bag. "Thanks," you said.

Everything went quiet again between you two, none of you were talking or leaving.

You felt like the goodbye was screaming in the silence. You seeing the visions of the past, maybe you just got her longing glances while Emma got her rings. You huffed, doesn't know if this was the last time you'd see her or not.

"Ellie," her smile disappeared as you called her name.

"Is it okay if I tell you that I still love you even though we haven't talk since Emma came to Boston? I'm sorry, Ellie. But I couldn't bear my feelings," you confessed to her, all those words just out from your mouth.

With furrowed eyebrows, she averted her gaze before fixing it on yours. "And would it be too late if I told you that I haven't been able to stop thinking about you for these past few months, even after avoiding you? God, I wish I could have told you sooner."

Your eyes widened. Just before you could say something, she left, leaving you all alone with her words lingering in your mind until God knows when.

a/n: i made this because i just found out that the girl that i had a crush on for months already have a girlfriend <3 (i've been crying nonstop) ANYWAY big thanks to taylor swift for the names <33333

#⋆˚࿔ nothingtolose 𝜗𝜚˚⋆#ellie williams angst #ellie williams x reader angst #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie williams #ellie williams x female reader #tlou2 #ellie tlou2 #lesbian #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams fluff #ellie the last of us #ellie x fem reader

247 notes · View notes

ashiemochi · 2 years ago

Text

wet the bed - lsk|m

✠ wet the bed ↳ hear the sound of your body drip, drip, drip

➶pairing: ID! Leon S Kennedy x (FEM) Reader ➶genre: smut, little plot, still smut. ➶Content includes: squirting, fingerfucking, overstimulation, mutual masturbation, creampie (if you squint), your usual big dick Kennedy smut. ➶WC: 3k

A/N: this was originally written for @lottathoughts for her Jessie/Leon pairing but i thought it looks good enough to be an X Reader pairing as well! don't mind the recycled fics, it's good for the environment <3 again, if you see she/her pronouns, remember my proofreading skill is literal ass

“You want to watch… Porn together?”

“You say that as if we didn't do this before.”

“Well, true but,” You cleared your throat, arms crossed as you shifted your weight to your other foot, your eyes glancing at the laptop on the bed then at him with faint red tinting your cheeks, “Is there a reason why?”

Leon released his breath through his nose, hand resting on his thigh and the other leaning behind him on the mattress, pair of azures showing a hint of fatigue within its pool of lust.

God knows how long he’s been waiting for you in bed, all clothed up with an obvious tent in his pants and an open laptop near the bottom of the mattress.

“I got called in,” He revealed and your eyes widened a bit, “I’m being sent off to Pittsburgh.”

“When?” You asked with a subtle frown.

It didn’t take seconds for him to answer.

“Tomorrow. In the morning.” Leon gestured to the laptop with a faint grin, “Anyway, thought I’d try something with you – maybe even take it with me when I miss you too much.”

Heat rushed up to your face at this and you bit your lip slightly, bringing up your shoulders to your ears for a moment. Leon was never shy when it came to teaching you a few things – in fact, he always approached you with a new idea.

Sometimes, you'd be nervous during your intimate times, wondering if you were doing something wrong or right – and Leon always calmed you down and got you to cloud nine before reaching his own clouds.

To him, your pleasure always comes first.

And to you, hearing his moans and heavy breathing next to your ear as he’d mutter praise after praise – he slowly built your confidence towards your sexuality.

With that being said;

“Alright, yeah,” You nodded, his eyes lighting up at your agreement, and you went around the bed to peep at the laptop’s screen, “What is it that you want to try?”

Leon’s smile widened and he patted the spot next to him, “C’mon, I’ll show you.”

Running your hand through your hair to push your curtain bangs away, you sat down next to him, crisscrossed. He reached over to his laptop; of course, Pornhub wasn’t even in incognito mode.

Your heart was already rattling in your chest but you kept yourr composure and watched as a couple was seated next to each other. The camera view was from above, giving a full view of the girl’s naked body and the man was straddling her leg, possibly keeping her from even attempting to close up her legs.

As you’d expect, both were completely naked – but the man only had a plaid shirt on. The couple had their faces cut out and when they’d be in the camera’s view, they’d be blurred.

The man had his hands caressing his girl’s body, all the way up to her bosoms then down her curves, enticing her. The girl, to give the same treatment, had her hand around his hard cock, slowly pumping it.

“Leon,” You looked over at Leon, seeing him only gesturing with his hand to keep your eyes on the screen and you rolled your eyes at his childish antic but did as told.

Soon enough, the man in the video trailed his hand down to the girl’s cunt, purposefully stroking her clit in circles and receiving moans in return. Her hand sped up just a little around his cock, hearing him also sigh heavily.

Was this all there is?

Foreplay orgasm?

You wanted to check the name of the video but could only see it was about six minutes long. That doesn’t seem like enough for the whole thing. Maybe a toy was involved?

It was a simple mutual masturbation porno.

Looking at Leon from the corner of your eyes, you couldn’t see his intense gaze, being shielded by his curtain fringes – but his lips were parted slightly, and sometimes, you’d catch the faintest sight of his tongue darting to lick his bottom lip.

You weren’t going to lie – a subtle uncomfortable feeling was beginning to form within your lower abdomen.

Louder and louder the girl got when the man finger-fucked her deep and quickly. She purposefully jerked him off, both moaning helplessly. The girl’s sounds got higher and you swallowed thickly; whatever plan Leon had in mind, it was already working.

“Leon, is it just this–”

You were cut off when the girl practically shrieked, back arching up when she started gushing.

The clear substance splashed everywhere; on her thighs, and stomach, and even drenched the sheets beneath her. Her moans and whines weren’t stopping, only intensifying when her man pushed on and she came again in no time.

Her hand kept up the relentless pace on his cock, making him groan as his cum spurted out onto her stomach and she whined weakly, having her poor cunt stroked to bring her down from her high. Only heavy breathing filled the quiet atmosphere of their porno.

And so, the video ended.

Your eyes were wide, jaw slacked at what you just saw. Sure, you knew about how a woman can squirt when stimulated right – but you never did it before. It seemed intense and you weren’t the type to be that loud – but apparently, Leon wanted to put that to the test.

Leon looked over at you, voice visibly lower than usual, “So, you up for it?”

Your body? More than.

Your mind? Absolutely.

It was foreplay but more. Just finger-fucking, but more.

“Uhm,” Your chest felt heavy and you were sure he could hear your heartbeat just the same, and you cleared your throat, clearly flustered, “Yeah, just… A bit nervous.”

Leon gave you a genuine comforting smile, his hand settling on your bare thigh gently, “I’ll take it slow, and–”

“Seemed like he was going like he had a meeting in less than a minute,” You interrupted him with a mutter, making him chuckle at your joke.

“He had a video to put out, but I,” Leon inched closer, half-lidded blueblue eyes shamelessly gazing at your redred lips and then your eyes, “I love to take my time with you, princess. I like our videos longer than six minutes.”

Your eyes darted down to his hand, fingers barely brushing your inner thighs and your eyes fluttered shut with a soft sigh when his lips peppered your neck, trailing up your jawline.

There was never a need to contemplate anything when it came to being fucked out of your mind by none other than Leon Scott Kennedy. He was usually so utterly respectful towards you and your boundaries; a simple stop would cease everything and he’d quickly check up on you.

His stubble scratched your skin so good, lashes giving you butterfly kisses before his lips went up to the corner of your mouth, the tips of his fingers stroking your clothed crotch.

“So?”

Of course, Leon was a charismatic teasing asshole.

“Mhm,” You nodded, turning to face him but was silenced in an instant once he got your consent.

His lips moulded with yours, the butterflies skyrocketing as he applied more pressure to the kiss, making you lean back against the pile of pillows at the headboard. Your hands went up to his jawline, tugging him closer as he deepened the kiss, enticing a muffled moan from you.

Leon pulled away just a little, using his foot to push the laptop a bit farther and to the side as he leaned over you partially with a smug look, “Already moanin’ for me, sexy?”

You huffed at his teasing, “Want me to stay quiet instead?”

Leon chuckled, shaking his head as his lips brushed against yours, “Fair enough.”

As his lips met yours sensually, his hand trailed up under his your shirt, feeling you shiver beneath his touch, and he reached up to your bare chest.

It was Sunday AKA, no-bra day since you’d be home all day.

He swallowed your whimper with a pleased hum, thumb swiping against your nipple as he kneaded your breast. The pleasure you were feeling was mild but growing the more he progressed and it hit you; he was planning on doing exactly what the couple in the video did.

Except he was fully clothed; grey sweatpants (god forbid) and a simple black plaid shirt.

Your arms went around his neck, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss and parting your lips just a bit to greet his tongue with yours. Leon’s brows furrowed at the intensity of the moist lip lock alone and could only wonder how noisy your cunt would be.

Luckily, he didn’t need to wonder any longer – and he trailed his hand low, sinking past the hem of your shorts and panties.

With just a touch on your clit, a hitched sound came from you, forcing you to part from his intoxicating kiss. Leon gazed down at you with glistening lips forming a small smirk, using just his two fingers to stroke your clit in precise circles.

“Ah, fuck,” You moaned, head tilted back with a heaving chest at the feeling and your legs widened more for his hand. Your shorts restricted you a little, same with him but he made do.

“Hmm~” Leon hummed, feeling the slickness of your wetwet pussy, toying with your bundle of nerves steadily, “So wet for me,”

The way he worked you up made you breathless, head heavy with need. Your swollen lips were parted for your moans and whines. Your hand gripped the collar of his shirt, eyes set on the way his hand moved beneath your shorts. You let your eyes trail to the laptop, seeing the small light next to the camera was on.

Since when did he turn the recording on?

“Leon,” You mumbled, looking up at him pleadingly, hips lifting up a bit to get him to remove your garment, “‘need you.”

Leon snickered, bumping your nose with his, “I’m right here, princess.”

He released your aching clit to remove his hand from inside your shorts only to grip the hem, pushing both the shorts and panties down.

Eagerly, you shuffled out of them before kicking them off the bed and you straightened up to peel your shirt off, making Leon raise an eyebrow at your actions.

“Someone’s too eager, huh,” Leon commented, amused but not surprised, taking in every inch of your naked and flawless body right before his eyes.

He wasn’t going to lie.

“Your fault,” You retorted breathlessly, laying back down on the pillows and staring up at him with your big eyes and a smile.

He needed to fuck that smile off of your face.

“I’ll take the blame if I get to hear my name coming from those lips,” Leon muttered lowly, trailing his hand back to where you needed him the most.

You whined when his fingers resumed their merciless rubbing, your hand reaching over to his bulge under his pants, squeezing him gently. Leon muffled his grunt, nose scrunching up just a split second, glaring at your wandering hand intensely.

His cock was rock hard beneath his slutty grey sweatpants and you felt it. With his middle and ring finger, he slid them inside your cunt, making your eyes roll to the back of your head and your legs widened comfortably.

Leon started moving his fingers to his knuckles and then out, biting his bottom lip at the faint wet noises. Your hand wriggled past his pants and boxers, tenderly coaxing his cock out where it stood tall and proud. Leon nearly faltered with a moan of his own, eyes shutting blissfully at the feeling of you stroking his bigbig heavy dick.

“Playing dirty, are we?” Leon growled almost dangerously, staring at you through his bangs and you giggled breathlessly, your other hand going up to cup your bosom.

“Just putting what I watched to the test,” You smiled toothily and your head tilted back when his thrusting sped up, moaning.

Your sounds were truly heavenly to him.

Deep and deep he went, your gasp ended up hitched in your throat when he brushed past your sweet spot. In an instant, his smirk widened along with the devilish glint in his pupil-blown eyes.

And just like that, Leon went relentless.

His rough fucking against your spot directly ripped high-pitched moan after the other. Tears stung your needy eyes, writhing beneath him at the intense stimulation alone. His leg went over yours, keeping your thighs from clamping up and his other hand went over yours that was around his cock.

Leon released a low moan as he moved and grounded into your hand, “Keep it up, sexy – and I’ll fuck this cunt and cum inside of you.”

As if that was even a threat to you – you wanted him to cum inside.

But the mutual masturbation right now was your priority. You loved feeling his heavy cock in your petite hand, every vein and curve along with the blunt red tip – you’d do it every day if you ever got the chance.

The audible sounds of your soaking pussy were getting louder and Leon fucked you harder and deeper, making you squeal and your hand shot down to grip the sheets.

You were unable to stay still as you tried to keep jerking him off. Your moans blended with his and Leon’s head dipped to nuzzle his face into the crook of your neck, his sounds coming out airy and low as his hips moved along with your hand’s movements.

“Wa–wait, I feel – shit, Leon–” You couldn’t even voice your thoughts, crying out at the squelching noise of your drenching pussy. It was as if you needed to use the bathroom but Leon knew it wasn’t the case.

“It’s alright, sexy,” Leon groaned, hissing as your hand on his cock sped up, pumping and rubbing him purposefully, “Just let yourself go, f–fuck.”

As if all you needed were the magic words, you cried out at the orgasm that hit you – and it hit you hard.

Leon didn't stop his ruthless violation of your spot, rubbing it harder along with his palm pressed flat against your throbbing pearl. And you gushed endlessly. Your shriek came out loud as your back arched off the bed, eyes shutting tightly as your legs trembled.

"God fucking damn, Y/N-mmh~" Leon bit his lip hard at you coming undone, "That's it, keep cumming for me, princess."

Your cum dripped and rolled down your thighs and cunt, some splashed on your lower abdomen. Your chest heaved along with your abdominals when he slowed down, bringing his fingers out to caress your visibly pulsating clit.

"Sh– Shi– it," You whispered shakily, a sheer surface of sweat glistening your chest and forehead at how worn out your body already was. Your orgasm was still around the corner and Leon wanted to try something – again.

Overstimulation.

A choked gasp came from you when Leon slid his fingers inside again and your eyes widened at his relentless finger-fucking. It was as if he went even deeper due to your cum being everywhere.

"F-fuck! Ah!" You shrieked, nearly squeaking at Leon fucking you harder and harder. You didn't even want to stop him, letting sensitivity hit you along with the fuck ton of fiery pleasure.

You weren't even aware of your hand still stroking his hard cock and his breathing quickened, removing his fingers. Leon shifted with a grunt so he was hovering partially over you, giving him the perfect position to piston into your cunt with his massive dick.

"Oh, god!" You cried out, your hands grasping onto his broad shoulders.

"Son of a bitch, fuck," Leon cussed, unable to stop fucking you mercilessly as if making you one of the mattress. He pushed himself to the hilt, making you choke up on your moan with wide eyes.

He took the moment to peel off his shirt and his pants, then he gripped the back of your knee to press your leg to your chest. His hips snapped against yours bruisingly, moaning lowly under his breath.

Tears rolled down your temple, feeling the knot tightening again. Leon felt you squeeze around him, making him hiss through gritted teeth.

"Le-Leon~!" You squealed out, and he hovered over you, ushering you to wrap your leg around his waist to free his hand.

"I'll fucking miss you, and I'll miss," Leon growled, gripping the pillow next to your head and the other went down to your sensitive pearl, "Fuckin' you–ah~"

With his bigbig and heavy cock assaulting and brushing your poor cervix and his fingers ruthless on your poor clit, your orgasm washed over you. The hot white pleasure flashed before your rolled eyes, cumming hard that you drenched the sheets once again.

Leon cussed under his breath, hitching at the end as he pushed himself deepdeep, hitting cloud nine. He thought he went blind for a split second, drawling out a moan as his toes curled on the bed. His cum shot out and filled you up – and then overfilled you.

Leon fucked you gently, eyes half-lidded gazing down at his hot cum seeping out from your cunt. He eased you down from your high, rubbing your clit as you shook uncontrollably beneath him. He panted heavily, smiling softly at your state.

Your eyes were hazy, fading in and out with a trembling chest and legs. Your dripping cunt was twitching every once in a second. Your face was red, drool rolling down the corner of your wet lips.

You were officially fucked out of your mind.

Leon kept himself inside as your leg dropped down to the bed and he leaned closer to you, his clean hand cradling your cheek to get you to look at him.

"Still with me, baby?" Leon asked breathily and you blinked lazily.

"We… We should do this again," You whispered tiredly, making him laugh a bit and you giggled.

Leon pressed a chaste kiss on your lips, fingers trailing to brush your hair behind your ear and he hummed against the kiss.

Pulling back, Leon gazed at you lovingly as he stayed close, earning a soft smile from you.

"When I come back, we'll do whatever you want, okay?"

You nodded slightly, "Promise you'll be careful?"

Leon leaned his forehead against yours with a heavy relaxed sigh.

"Promise."

#leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon s kennedy x reader #resident evil #resident evil infinite darkness #leon kennedy #dbd fanfic #resident evil fandom #resident evil fanfiction #leon kennedy imagines #resident evil memes #dbd memes #leon kennedy x you #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy x reader smut #leon scott kennedy #leon scott kennedy smut

2K notes · View notes

bahrtofane · 7 months ago

Note

prompt 9 trope 3 w clingy trent please

- "Stay, please?" - Fake Relationship

Word count - 1.1k+

Watch it - reader loses mind bc trent is sweet and nice what's new

Trent but youre whole relationship is based on a lie you can't fall back on now.

Lets paint the picture, yeah?

Mutual friend's wedding, dear old Sammy is getting married. The both of you have been invited. You haven seen Trent in a minute so you both figure you might as well go together. Cut down on carbon emissions and what not. Besides you didn't want to deal with driving in your heels and Trent wanted the company. Sweet and simple.

He picks you up right on time (he looks lovely in a suit), the ride there is filled with catching up and teasing words before you slip into a comfortable silence. He holds the door for you when you get there, and walk in looking more like a couple than the damn married couple. You do your rounds, greeting your friends when you get there before heading off to your assigned seats next to each other. You enjoy the light snacks before heading off to mingle, saying your congrats to the bride and groom.

Your friend's grandmother comes over smiling at both of you, calling you such a cute couple. She says the next wedding better be yours. She looks so happy, hands over her heart and reminiscing about her late husband and how much you and Trent remind her of her youth.

And what are you supposed to do to crush a little old woman's dream? No.

Instead Trent wraps an arm around your waist, bringing you close and telling her she'd be the first to get invited.

Little did you know that everyone and their mother was watching the no more than minute long interaction go down and here you are. You can't tell your friend you lied to her grandma on her wedding day what a horrid person you are.

Instead you and Trent agree to go along with it, fake it for a bit and then announce a mutual break up.

Easy peasy right? Wrong !! If only you didn't have heart eyes with him to begin with. What a cruel fate you've been served.

Each and every time he smiles and pecks your cheek in front of friends you want to scream and tell him to just date for real already. But no you can't, you won't, dont. Whatever.

You have to live off of the quick kisses that never meet your lips and the touches that he never truly means. He's an absolute menace when it comes to physical touch. Unable to keep his hands off of you. Even when you're out of sight. He still clings to you. Hands in the back of your jeans, in the buckles and loops of your pants pulling you closer. Whenever he finds himself at your home he's always so reluctant to leave. Staying over probably many more times than needed. And it only makes your head spin.

You're doomed. Completely and utterly doomed.

Today you're sitting at a dinner with the same group of friends at the back of a fancy restaurant while you fight your floor-length gown from riding up in your seat. Trent sits next to you. Of course he does.

You got here together yet again. It's to make things easier to say in the back of your mind. Yeah. Not because you've gotten used to him driving you about.

The conversations around you eventually dull to nothing more but lingering comments as plates of food finish and checks come around.

Not a bad night you suppose.

Sammy pipes up as everyone is gathering their things, “so when's the wedding?” eyebrows wiggling.

You wave her off, “oh I don't know we haven't really talked about that yet.”

Trent gives a nod, tucking his dress shirt neatly into the waistband of his pants,”I've been too busy with everything.”

People give sympathetic nods and you quickly shove your purse back into your bag. You say goodbye to everyone and slip an arm into Trents as you walk back to the garage. He's still a gentleman even out of sight. Holding your dress up for you as you make your way up curbs.

“Can't believe they're asking for a wedding.” you huff.

Trent shrugs, “could be worse.” pulling you closer against him.

You sigh,"I suppose so.”

“You look pretty.” he smiles, leading the way back to his car

“Thank you,” you turn your head away from him. Afraid he’ll catch on to just how much his words fluster you.

You reach his car soon enough, arm slipping from his grasp as he leans to open the door. You slip inside without much of a fuss. Neither of you speak for a moment when you're both buckled up.

He sighs, putting his car into drive and heading out of the garage. Almost fighting with the ticket (it refuses to scan) and zooming out before he pops a blood vessel.

He hands you his phone and you put in your address while watching the city streets bleed by into the night. It feels good out, so you lower your window all the way down, sticking a hand out.

He smiles, mimicking you and humming softly under his breath.

“Oh shit.” you exclaim.

“What?”

“I think I left my jacket at your place. I can stop by tomorrow to get it ?”

“Nah, we’ll just stop by. Add it as a stop.”

“You sure ?” you bite your lip. Afraid of overstepping.

“I'm sure,” he nods.

You do so. And before you know it both of you step out onto his driveway and duck inside. You forget just how expansive the place is. Jeez.

You find the jacket tossed on his couch and you tuck it into your arm.

“I'll see you then?” you try, voice soft. Will there be a next time

"Stay, please," Trent's voice interrupts the heavy silence, his eyes pleading with you as if begging for a moment's respite from the chaos swirling around you.

You turn to him, feeling the weight of his words pressing against your chest. "I can't," you murmur, voice thick. "Not like this."

His expression falls, picking at his nails as you try not to feel like a bitch.

“Then, stay but not like this.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean like-fuck,” he scratches the back of his neck, “i dont wanna just keep pretending anymore.”

You blink. “Trent I'm not following.”

“You're so dense I want to date you and you date me for realI.” he raises his hands in exasperation.

You blink again, hard. Unable to process anything.

“Please say something-'' you shut him up with a swift kiss. Pawing against his dress shirt and pressing him against you.

“Is that a good answer?” you look away, toying with the buttons around his collar.

“Yup!” he chirps, “perfect so perfect so amazing.” melting into your touch and chasing for your lips.

Maybe that wedding will happen after all.

#trent alexander arnold x reader #trent alexander imagines #trent alexander arnold #trent x reader #trent alexander x you #trent alexander oneshot #taa x you #taa x reader #taa imagines #taa66 #taa #taa66 blurb #bahr footy #bahr 300 event

136 notes · View notes

burirammin · 4 months ago

Text

Watched sepang 2011 moto2 fp1 followed by qualification and now I am absolutely devastated. screaming crying throwing up etc. etc. (the following write-up aka. me ever so slightly losing my mind over how Marc Marquez's 2011 season ends)

That weekend was so cursed it's unbelievable. Not even two minutes into the fp1 session the camera cut to the turn 10 gravel trap and then there was two riders occupying the place. The first one was Jules Cluzel, who was thankfully already up and was not hurt. Marc was the second one and oh boy, was he NOT fine. He laid there on his back for what felt like minutes, camera focusing on him almost THE WHOLE TIME. I. am. sick. to my stomach!!!

Not a moment later another bike (or two actually, but one of them was off camera) came crashing in, Marc was still on the ground, just out of the hit range. It was Yonny Hernandez (who looks to be fine. he raced the next day but was black-flagged) and Bradley Smith, who ended up with a broken collarbone + bruised ribs and was forced to be out of the race altogether. His injuries were caused by him getting thrown directly into Marc's bike. How unlucky was that??? The cause of all these crashes? A WET. FUCKING. PATCH. I reeallly meant it when I say that weekend was fucking cursed (and on sunday. we all know what happened on sunday...)

I was already regretting my choice to watch it at this point but just like watching a trainwreck, I couldn't stop.

And then I saw the team's reaction (full on regret. hits like a brick)

The icing on the cake? the whole session did not have any commentary. Just pure ambient noises, bike engines, staff radios, people rushing around the track. The whole scene was so eerie, I could not imagine watching this live.

The way they were running out from the pit, almost entirely abandoning it to (presumably) check on Marc at the medical center? gut punched.

The famous shot of Marc after medical check-up. Already a pro at slutty suffering at the tender age of eighteen. (I was about to throw up, so thank you I guess? how he was just out there, looking beautiful in this state was beyond my comprehension)

Marc missed all the sessions following fp1 (3 in total) but he did joined in for qualification session the next day. There was commentating for this and they mentioned that he was still a little dizzy this morning, his neck and left shoulder was not doing great either. Of course Marc being Marc he still wants to at least try to qualify and maybe, race. For context, he was just 3 points off the lead and not participating in this race means he will lose the championship, which in the end, he did.

It didn't last long. Marc was back in the box after just one qualifying lap.

Back in the box, Santi and Emilio was immediately all over him. The commentators DID pick up that there was something seriously wrong as normally only Santi (crew chief) would be present to talk about technical stuff that needs to be done and such, and not Emilio (manager). They discussed, things did not look good. With the gift of hindsight we can see that Marc was clearly informing them about his eye problem (which we know was diplopia later on) not to mention his other injuries to neck and left shoulder that was probably bothering him.

He has to leave the box shortly after. The commentators said they were hoping that he will be feeling better in the morning of race day, and also that Marc losing the championship was “inconceivable” before the fp1 crash*. There’s no such luck, unfortunately.

*mind you, he already have another big (very reckless and very much his own fault) crash from prior week with Ratthapark Wilairot in phillip island resulting in his blackeye but that was not enough to hindered his performance.

Marc watching the sunday race from the sidelines, no longer able to participate in this and following race.

And just to add even more (like anyone needed it, jesus christ) to the cursed factor of this weekend, Axel Pons suffered a massive crash during the race, resulting in a red flag. He also, was not fit for the next race.

God. That's it. That's the end of his 2011 season. From a crash that was in no way, shape or form, his fault. The circuit was later fined for not displaying yellow flag to warn riders of a wet patch on the track.

He could've won. HE COULD HAVE WON. HE COULD HAVE BEEN A MOTO2 WORLD CHAMPION IN HIS ROOKIE YEAR!!!!! I must repeat that at the time he was 3 POINTS AWAY FROM THE LEAD and has more or less been DOMINATING the whole season. He was on the podium for every races that he has finished and was on a streak. I am convinced he could have easily done it if not for the unfortunate accident.

But all he got out of it was second place in the championship (which we all know he won't accept in his mind. at least back then) and a diplopia problem that would still haunts him more than ten years later...

#goodbye goodbye you were bigger than the whole sky (the potential 2011 world championship)#inconsolable over something that has happened more than ten years ago? likely place for me to be 😔#probably a bunch of typos in here but ehh. good enough. please enjoy?#k.moto.yap #marc marquez #moto2 #motogp #sepang 2011

66 notes · View notes

upsidedownmvnson · 2 years ago

Text

the challenge | eddie munson

warnings: angst, hurt, kinda eddies pov, stupid long & tropey, barely edited

AN: i just love the angst sorry :) also this is the worst trope ever but I LOVE IT. I eat it up. also i know i overuse italics its my fatal flaw. willing to do requests & taglists btw <3

i'm not sure how many words per se but it looks really long so

"I'll give you a hundred bucks if you can get any of the cheerleaders to go on a date with you."

After band practice, the conversation had devolved into who had school the band thought was hot.

"Please," Eddie tried to scoff off the idea. "When has that idea ever gone well?"

"I'll also give you a hundred," Jeff said, adding to the fire. They probably didn't expect him to go for it. But he could use two hundred bucks...

Eddie rolled the idea around in his mind. Who would he even ask? There was Chrissy Cunningham, she's sweet... but he was pretty sure she was dating Jason, and the last thing Eddie needed was more problems from that guy. But there was you.

You were different. You were still a cheerleader at Hawkins, sitting with the populars and shaking your pom-poms at every game. But you smiled at Eddie in the hall sometimes. And he'd noticed you'll talk to anyone. You weren't mean. So he could probably charm his way into one little date, and then after the date inevitably goes terribly, he'll collect his easy money and you will go on, blissfully unaware.

It's not like you guys would get along or anything.

"What happens if I lose?" Eddie asked.

"You have to put on an embarassing show in the cafeteria," Jeff said. "And easy one."

"Okay," Eddie said after a long silence, "I'll take your money."

The next day at school, Eddie was sitting on the stairs across from your locker like a predator. It was still forty minutes until first bell, so there were very few people in the halls. He had this whole plan in mind. First, he'd wow you with his natural charm, and then leave you lingering in mystery. Easier said than done, when you came walking down the hallway with a skip in your step and a smile on your face.

It made him feel guilty about this whole thing. But you would never know, so what was the harm?

He approached you slowly, slowly panicking about the idea of bothering you. What if you told the basketball team he was bothering you? What if you acted like he grabbed you, or something...

He fears were cut off by you casually saying, "Hey Eddie."

You knew his name? Why did it sound so nice coming from you?

It's because secretly you were always aware of Eddie. There was something about him that always held your attention. After seeing him for a days, you'd become a closeted metal fan. It started to impress him, but you actually did start to like it. You'd always tried to catch his eye, but it was like he didn't really see you.

"Hey, morning," he said, mind focused on his objective. But it was harder when actually looking down at you. You were pretty cute. You had beautiful eyes.

"Good morning," you said, pleasantly confused at the situation. You noticed Eddie had gotten up when you got closer. "Were you waiting for me?"

"Oh, ha, you noticed that," he said, grabbing your locker door as you opened it, and leaned on it, unintentionally making a show of his hand gripping the edge of the locker.

You felt a flutter in your chest, "Well, what can I do for you?"

"I've seen you here early before," Eddie mused, as if he'd ever been here early, but he had his intel. "Thought I could give you a little company."

"That's sweet," you said, smiling like you were hiding a laugh. "I've never seen you around before class. Only coming in late."

"I'm shocked at such an accusation," he said, leaning closer. "It hurts to believe you think so lowly of me." There was a level of teasing in his tone that made butterflies erupt within you.

"You know," you started, "I was supposed to go see Halloween 3 tonight but my girlfriends chickened out..."

"Oh yeah?"

"Well I still want to go," you said. You couldn't hint anymore if you tried. "Are you looking for company tonight?"

"What?" Eddie couldn't mask his surprise. He was supposed to come over here and charm you into a date, but... you asked him?? "Uh yeah, I can take you to the movies."

"What time is your club done? We can go after that," you said, smiling. You were just trying to be considerate, but you were making Eddie weak in the knees. Were you really this aware of him? If anything, he was wondering why you cared more than how you knew.

"I'll see when the late shows plays and make sure we'll be there," he said, "just give me your address, I'll pick you up."

The blush on your cheeks made him smile, but the gentle touch of your hand as you grabbed his arm and pushed the sleeve up, using a marker to write down the street and and number. Eddie was totally at your mercy by this point, but you just had to make worse by bringing his arm up to your face to kiss what you'd written, looking up at him with the devil in your eye.

"Kiss from a maiden has to boost luck, right?"

Suddenly, the terms of the game changed. You asked him out. It was not what he expected. He expected it would take several days before he finally asked you out. He had this whole plan in his mind, and you just... you kissed him on the arm, like it was a normal thing for you to do to him. Now he didn't really want the money, he just wanted you to that again. Feel your soft touch. Anything that would put that look back into your eye.

Everyone at Hellfire could see that Eddie was distracted. His campaign was nothing less than infallible as per usual, but his theatrics were toned down, and he was fumbling over the dice as if he wasn't always paying total attention.

After the session, Jeff and Gareth hung around. Mainly to check on their friend.

"I have to go," Eddie said, fumbling with his bag. He didn't want to tell the guys about you. He didn't want to pop the fantasy of having you all to himself. Not yet.

Eddie still had it in his mind that the date would flop. What chance did he have to impress someone like you? This whole situation was spiralling quickly. And he fucking knew better than to take a stupid bet issued at midnight after a bunch of beers. He should've called it off right there, he should've said it's stupid and objectifying the cheerleaders and that was mean, but he said nothing. He just packed his things, and told his friends he'd see them later.

He didn't have time to go change, he didn't want you to miss your movie because of him. And he was just really anxious to see you again. There was a small part of his brain, a little nagging brain cell, telling him that maybe... just maybe, this date will go well and he can get you to look at him with a sparkle in your eyes.

Your house was right in the middle of suburbia, which had Eddie losing his cool slowly. You were different, and he knew that already, but it was a comfort to remind himself as he drove passed identical, picket fenced houses. Your house was no different. Picket fence, flowers in the window sill, green grass mowed to the same height.

He parked the van and got out, walking through the gate and up the short cobblestone path leading up to your front door. He brought a knuckle up to your door, tapping lightly twice. Maybe you would bail and he wouldn't have to be the bad guy anymore. He looked at the flowers beside the house, and mentally kicked himself for not bringing you anything for you. You deserved flowers.

But you were there, waiting to answer the door a few moments after he knocked. You had counted to ten in your head before he answered, not wanting to seem too keen.

"Hey," you said, dazzling him again with an innocent smile. His voice was stuck in his throat as he looked at you. Eddie hadn't expected your cheerleading outfit or anything... but what didn't expect was a cropped Slayer shirt. It looked like you had cut it yourself, but he couldn't let himself get caught staring at the frayed edges, because that's where the exposed skin was, tempting him to look. Or worse, tempting him to reach out, running his calloused fingers over the skin that looked painfully soft.

"Hey," he say quietly, still trying to wrap his head around what was happening. How had he managed to fuck this up before talking to you for the first time? "Sorry I didn't get flowers or change or do anything all at to impress you. I kinda rushed right from school."

"You want to impress me?"

Eddie's mind was reeling. "Is there anyone out there who doesn't?"

You giggled, and Eddie didn't think he could take it anymore. If he just spilled his guts right now, he could stop himself a world of confusion. After this, he'd probably be stuck with the image of you for weeks. He's probably caused him heartache and pain when this doesn't work out. Or... worse... it does work out and one of his idiot friends tells you how this started, and then he was still heartbroken and fucked.

Eddie said nothing as he led you to the van.

On the way to the movies it was quiet, but not uncomfortable. You asked him about his day, which made him blush because, it's a simple that people never really asked him. Especially beautiful cheerleaders.

He didn't know how he was supposed to forget this. How could he continue to drive Jeff and Gareth around while he's seen you in his passenger seat... with a Slayer shirt on.

"Can I pick something?" you asked, finding a small stash of cassettes under the seat.

"Sure," he said. He's pretty sure he would've let you do whatever you wanted, as long as you stayed beside him in this van forever.

You slipped the current tape out, and slipped in Metallica. Fight Fire with fire came on and you sat back in your seat.

"Why this one?" he asked. He wanted to know. He wanted you to give some cheesy answer so he could figure out an excuse to not like you, to fight all the reasons he was starting to like you anyway. It was just a shirt, maybe you didn't listen to them at all.

"For Whom the Bell Tolls is my favourite right now," you said casually.

"What about Slayer? What's your favourite?"

"You quizzin' me?" you quipped, laughing as Eddie widened his eyes. You cut him off before he could apologize. "Die by the Sword." You drummed your fingers absentmindedly against your jeans. "Always had this fantasy about riding into battle, yaknow, Lord of the Rings style."

"Who are you?" Eddie asked, fingers gripping the steering wheel tighter. "You like Lord of the Rings and Slayer." He said it as a fact, not a question. With every casual answer you gave, a knife was turning in his stomach, reminding him that he was the bad guy. He took a stupid bet, from his stupid friends, and it was keeping him from enjoying this moment fully. There was a little voice reminding him that what he's doing, is shit people like Jason Carver would do.

"Yes, and?"

And nothing. You were just casting a spell on Eddie that he would need a miracle to undo. "So you're a hidden freak."

"Being hidden is lame," you said, "I wouldn't lie if they asked."

"Who is they?" he asked.

"The other cheerleaders, the jocks, anyone at school really."

"You don't get along with the other cheerleaders?"

"No, I do. They're my girls. <3" You smiled, biting the skin beside your thumb. "I just don't talk about fantasy epics with them, they're not really interested."

"I don't know," he teased, pulling into the movie theatre parking lot. "You don't really seem like any cheerleaders I know."

"And how many cheerleaders do you know?"

He laughed, parking the car. He was starting to ease into it a little more. Enjoying your presence while he can. "Fair enough."

"Shaking those pom-poms is going to get me a scholarship, and a scholarship will get me out of here." The words were less airy and playful than the rest had been. He'd taken note of your serious tone when talking about getting out of here. There was hardly a line, most of the movies started a couple minutes earlier, there were just a few Halloween stragglers.

"In a rush out of here?" he asked. He wanted to know everything about you.

"You could say that," you said. "I don't have a problem with Hawkins but my parents are... I just..." you trailed off. "Let's not ruin a good time."

He nodded, not needing to hear anything else. After light squabbling about who would pay for the tickets, Eddie passed his money over to the ticket guy, who had an obvious line of sight to your stomach. Or maybe it was your chest he was staring at, either away, Eddie was finding it really annoying. He used his arm to gently guide you behind him, blocking most of the box office employees view.

He felt protective over you. Which is ironic, because at the start of the day he had a plan to woo you, to take you on a date for a bet. And now, he wanted to protect you from hurt.

The worst kind of hypocrite.

The conversation died when the two of you shuffled into the little theatre. The movie had been out long enough that it wasn't too busy. It was nice, being in the dark together, silently watching the movie. You weren't really scared, but you still liked it. Eddie however, wasn't loving it as much as you.

Eddie was having such a nice time, that he was able to push the bet out of his mind completely.

After the movie, pretty much everything was closed, except the 24 hour diner a little bit down the highway, so that's where he took you. He drove about twenty minutes just to eat greasy cheeseburgers and sickeningly sweet milkshakes because he just couldn't bare for this night to be over yet.

"Guess I gotta get you home," Eddie said after the food. "It's already passed midnight."

"Oh that's okay," you said, leaving money on the table for food. "They'll be gone until next week anyway. I don't they'd care when I got home."

Eddie wanted to ask, but he could tell your parents weren't something you liked to talk about.

"Well, if we've both nowhere to be, maybe we should stick together."

"Why don't you take me home anyway and we can watch another movie."

"I'd like that."

The ride back to your place seemed shorter, or maybe he was just excited to see where you live. He wanted to see your room. He was so curious about you. He just wanted to know everything.

Your house was quiet, pitch black and lonely... like it always was. You let him in, and he awkwardly shuffled in behind you. He copied what you did by taking your shoes off by the door. Your house opened into the living room, with stairs right beside.

"Can I see your room?" he asked, half expecting you to say no but you answered with a quick "sure!" and led him up the stairs. He watched your ass the whole time you walked ahead of him.

"It's kinda boring," you said, opening the door. There wasn't really much to it. A few posters on the wall; a couple were bands he liked and there were a few movie posters too. Your cassettes were all stacked on your desk neatly, and there were vinyls beside that, a small table there to hold the record player. He was talking and poking through them, while you sat on the bed, watching him intently. He was shocked to see you actually had some of the same things he did. And you... you had bands he didn't know. One day, he was totally going to borrow those.

He kept chatting as he poked around. This morning, neither one of you could have predicted being here like this. He stopped talking mid sentence, and you could see him looking more at the desk than the music now. You curiously tried to peak at what he was looking at.

"Is this a dnd character sheet?" he asked.

"Oh!" you laughed, standing and joining him by the desk. "Yeah, it is. I'd been trying to work up the nerve to ask you to teach me, but, I guess I didn't have to."

And just like that, you had him.

You had him totally and fully and he wished he'd never taken that stupid challenge with his stupid friends about the stupid money. His mind was emotional soup.

"You were gunna ask me to teach you dungeons and dragons?" he asked, totally stunned into silence, again.

"Well..." you blushed, turning away from him. He saw it though. "I kind of have a crush on you, Eddie. Maybe before tonight it wasn't like... real, because I didn't actually know you but..." You smiled, so soft and sweet, it made Eddie feel warm and vulnerable. "Now I know it is real."

What was he supposed to do? Look at you while you're vulnerable like that and just tell you what he's done? No shot. No fucking way would he let any of his dumb choices get in the way of, whatever this was going to be.

"I like you, too," he said finally, smiling back at you. The problem was, while it was true, it didn't feel as genuine. He did like you, but that's not how it started.

And what was he supposed to do when you looked like you wanted a kiss? Not kiss you? That would be rude.

Eddie leaned in slowly, and so did you. He brought his hand up, coddling your face and brushing a thumb over your cheek. He said, "you're so beautiful," before closing the gap and putting his mouth on yours. It was small, mouths parted and puckered, moving slowly. It was a short kiss, but a tender first one.

Until you said, "sorry if I'm not a good kisser, I haven't done much kissing," with a blush.

"You haven't done much kissing?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry I'm so... inexperienced."

"No, it's okay! I don't really get to kiss anyone either."

"You can kiss me whenever you want," you said, bounce in your step as you grabbed his hand and led him back downstairs.

You let him pick a movie while you set up the couch with some blankets. He settled beside you one the couch once the movie started, and you snuggled into his side as if you owned it. Which may as well be true already, and passed out within five minutes of the movie starting. He told himself sternly that he would leave when the movie was over, and he did mean it. But he also rested his head on yours and tried to fall asleep before he saw any credits.

Which he did.

Monday morning rolling around was another one of Eddie's punishments. The bliss of his imaginary life came hurdling towards the end, and it was filling him with anxiety. Like, so fucking much anxiety.

At school, he'd be unable to avoid his friends. Eddie had spent much of Saturday morning lounging at your house with you. You two made breakfast, listened to some music, and then watched a movie. He had to leave eventually, since he didn't want to kiss you with morning breath. But he'd called you that night... and the one after that. He just couldn't get enough of you.

Eddie had avoided his best friends most of the morning, mostly by just being late. Unfortunately, that also had meant he'd avoided you. He'd hoped you'd come into the cafeteria first. He was biting his nails, his leg rapidly shaking up and down. You had said he can kiss you anytime... did that mean school, too? He hoped so. He hoped you would come into the freaking cafeteria.

But his fantasy bubble had officially popped when Jeff grabbed him by the shoulders from behind, scaring him.

"Bud, you've been holding out on us."

"What are you talking about?" Eddie asked. Gareth and Jeff sat at the table with him.

"Same thing that everyone is talking about, you and y/n."

"What?" Eddie had been so focused on not talking to anyone that he hadn't heard anything.

"Someone's sister saw you leaving her house on Saturday, and I distinctly remember you rushing out of Hellfire on Friday."

"What are people saying?"

"Some are saying drugs, some are saying you guys have sex. Did you? Did you have sex with her?"

"No," Eddie said, effectively wiping the smile off Gareth's face. "But I may have slept there."

His friends looked at each other, and then at him, and Eddie took one selfish moment to be excited about it. It was his fatal mistake.

"Are you guys gunna go out again?" Jeff asked. Eddie grinned, and nodded.

"Well, a deal is a deal. Here goes all my savings on some dumb bet," Gareth said.

They should've had a sign, some bat signal that Eddie could show above the entire student body that would get his best friends to shut the fuck up because you were behind them, walking closer and smiling at Eddie with that same sweet smile on your face.

You must have slipped in when he was talking to the guys. He tried to shush Gareth without being obvious, but Gareth was being so fucking loud. If he didn't shut up soon you were going to hear him. Eddie's heart was racing. Jeff kicked Gareth, but apparently not hard enough because he just kept talking.

Eddie's heart was going to beat out of his chest... like in Alien...

"I can't believe you got y/n on a date in like, one day." Gareth scoffed. "Maybe you let her in on it for some of the money. Last time I make a bet with you losers."

And it was like watching a star die. Your beautiful smile gone, replaced with a quivering lip and a look in your eye that reflected agony, instead of the little bit of trouble he loved so much. Eddie was going to throw up. For a second you two just looked at each other, Eddie had his hands an inch off the table, he was shaking.

He fucking knew this scenario never worked out for anyone.

And then you were running out of there, and he was hot on your heels. It must have looked bad, you running out crying while Eddie chased you. After rumors of drugs deals and scandalous sex, the fire was most definitely stoked.

Eddie shouted after you, following you all the way outside. Out there, where no one was really lingering, you turned around. There were a few tears rolling down your cheeks, and you chewed on the skin of your lip.

"Please tell me that it doesn't mean what it sounds like," you begged, stepping closer. The hurt tone of your voice sent a dagger into his chest with every word. He did this. "If you can just-" you hiccuped, "tell me that. Then we can go to the diner and we can go, we can go wherever you want. Anywhere. Just tell me that it wasn't what it sounded like."

Eddie didn't say anything. He couldn't.

He didn't have anything good enough to say.

You just watched him with tears in your eyes. It seemed like you were begging him with your eyes. He wished he had anything to tell you. It wasn't what it seemed like, or maybe it was for a good cause. But he didn't have anything.

"But," you cried, "but you said you liked me."

"I do like you," he said quickly, his voice surprisely hoarse. Being able to say something true made him spring into action. "I like you so much. I'm so sorry, I'm really so so fucking sorry, but please. Just let me make it up to you. Obviously I don't want the money, I was going to tell them it's off but I just... I didn't, I don't know why. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

"What was the bet?"

"What?"

"What were the terms and conditions of the bet?"

"Is that... really productive..." he trailed off when he looked at you. Eddie sighed, and looked to his feet for some kind of comfort. He found none. "Two hundred bucks for a date with any of the cheerleaders. If I fail I embarrass myself at purpose at school."

"You were right that wasn't productive," you said.

"I'm so sorry," he said, "I can still fix it."

"Do what you want. I'm going home."

"Let me take you."

"No, no... you've done plenty, thanks."

And against what he really wanted, he let you go. If you didn't want him around right now he wouldn't push it. Eddie would just have to fix this. He had a plan to woo you once, he could do it again. But this time it would be because he knows he can treat you right. He can be the guy you deserve. He would bring you flowers. He'd never hurt you.

...this was just a really bad example... that's all.

#eddie munson #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson imagines #stranger things #stranger things 4 #stranger things vol 4 #st4 #stranger things imagine #stranger things imagines #stranger things fic #stranger things fanfic #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fic #eddie munson smut #eddie x y/n #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x you

788 notes · View notes

benedictscanvas · 1 year ago

Note

omggg in my fluffy needing comfort era and i LOVE how you write jamie tartt x reader- could i make a request for jamie x chronically ill reader where he is just really supportive and loving with someone who is long-term sick? ♥️♥️

of course, my love. thank you for the kind words. i tried to make this as vague as possible so people can relate in their own ways. sending you love! <3 | gn!reader, 1.2k words, tw chronic illness & pain, language

You'd just about managed to get your hair how you wanted it to look for the evening, with minimal swearing for once. Jamie was sat on the bed waiting for you, he'd been ready for a good few minutes now, but you were still reluctant to emerge. There was a wave of pain undulating through you that you were trying to ride out in silence without alerting your boyfriend.

"Y' alright, love? No rush, I wanna be fashionably late anyways," he said from the next room, raising his voice so that it reached you through the closed door. You hardly ever closed doors around each other, so you should have known he'd be worried.

The pain wasn't dissipating, so you took a few deep breaths before stepping out into the bedroom with a smile that you hoped was normal.

"Sorry, my hair wasn't co-operating," you say, tilting your head as you take him in. Navy trousers, white shirt, brown jacket. He looked effortlessly gorgeous, even if he had one more button undone than you would have suggested. Some things didn't change, "You look so good, Jamie."

"Me?" he said incredulously, standing up and huffing out a breath of disbelief, "You look...fuck. I'm not good enough with me words for this."

His hands gesture aimlessly down your outfit and you feel a real smile blossoming under his attention. You take his hands in yours and place them on your waist, stopping his flapping from going further.

"I like your words just fine. And your face," you add with a grin that he returns, curling his fingers into the fabric he's found. A new wave of pain crests and you try your hardest to keep it off your face, but don't think about how your body must tense under his touch. His whole face crumples.

"Ah shit," he murmurs, running his hands down your arms to interlace your fingers together as he takes a step closer, "Why didn't y' say anythin' babe?"

"About what?" you ask pathetically, watching him fix you with a look that said 'cut the shit'.

"Cut the shit," he said, clearly deciding the look wasn't enough, "We agreed, babe, you tell me if it's a bad day so I can help. Or at least try to. Thought we were in a good place with it."

Your heart aches. He really does hate it when you keep your pain to yourself, even though you're not sure he yet understands just how much pain you would be sharing if you shared all of it. You'd been dating for six months, but still wanted to be careful not to scare him off.

"I am. I promise, Jamie, I do tell you it's just..." you struggle for a good explanation that doesn't create any pity in him, "Tonight's big, you know? I want to be a proper girlfriend and I want to burst into tears and kiss you stupid when they call your name for that award."

There is a little bit of pity in his eyes when you've finished, so you can't have done a very good job of it. He squeezes your hands tightly in his.

"Can't say it many more ways," he says softly, "But y' gotta believe that you are me priority, gorgeous. Jus' wanna look after you, y' know. I wanna be a proper boyfriend too."

You'd never thought about it that way. Another wave of pain hits and Jamie's instantly stroking your temple when your eyes clench shut. You feel his lips on the opposite side of your head as he whispers sweet little comforts in your ear.

If it wasn't so painful, maybe you'd be more willing to argue the point with him. It would have to be a battle saved for later, because lying down was the only option for the moment. You could feel the sting of tears; it couldn't have been a worse time for a flare up.

"I'll be there for every other award you win," you say forcefully, but you can't bring yourself to promise. Sometimes you worry you can't promise him enough, but then you see the way he looks at you as he leans backwards again and a lot of that worry falls away.

"You're way too sure that I'm winnin' this award, by the way," he says, a little bashful. It was one of your favourite versions of him, "I'm up against quality."

"None of that. The most creative player in the league this season was you. Hands down. I think you know that really."

He nods, but doesn't look sure still. Then he's stepping away from you as he shrugs off his jacket, throwing it onto the back of a chair and flopping down on the bed.

"Come on then, love. We can fit in a quick episode of whatever you want before the ceremony's on TV."

You stare at him.

"What?"

"Well I'm not fuckin' going without you," he laughs, like that was never an option, "Duh. I'd be bored shitless. I know you need to lie down, babe, come on."

He holds out a hand to you. You take it, still dazed by the sudden turn of events, let him pull you onto the bed and into his arms on top of the covers.

"There we are," he breathes, pressing kisses into the top of your head, "Perfect. We'll have a much better evening bein' able to laugh at Roy makin' a fool of himself for the cameras from 'ere, right?"

Coming back to your senses, you pull yourself out of his arms for a moment so you can look at him properly. He's been acting normal up until now, but when he sees the tears in your eyes, his whole face softens.

"Let's not argue right now, love, please," he begs, "Wanna take care of you, so jus' let me. We can talk about it tomorrow."

"Your award..." you choke out, but he shushes you.

"Will be waitin' for me at the club tomorrow. Me speech would have been fucked anyway, so there's nothin' to miss out on."

There's no room for argument in his voice. It's as firm as it is comforting. Relenting as the pain hits once again, you snuggle back into his arms, kissing whatever parts of him you can reach.

"Like my guardian angel," you say, trying not to sound so teary, "So grateful for you, Jamie. Love you so so much."

"Yeah, yeah, love you too," he says, brushing you off as you expected but with fondness in his tone as he pulls you even closer.

"Hey...you just said the award would be waiting. You're finally admitting that you're definitely getting it?"

He chuckles.

"Course I'm getting it. That award's mine, babe," he says, cocky smirk firmly on his face that you can only see in the reflection of the TV. Then he gasps, comically, "Do y' think they'll make Roy do me speech?"

You gasp right back, already feeling better.

"Yes! If you put it on now, we might be able to see him flip people off on the red carpet beforehand."

Jamie grins as he struggles to reach the remote and turns the TV on.

"Fuckin' genius, you are."

---

please see this post if you would like to request your own roy/jamie drabble!! closing soon <3

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt #ted lasso x reader #ted lasso #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt fluff #jamie tartt oneshot #busy week drabbles!

429 notes · View notes

raven-dor · 3 months ago

Text

you and i pt.3

In which steve harrington and his best friend have an argument

PAIRING: steve harrington x reader

WARNINGS: given last name, banter, yearning, argument, swearing, tension that you could cut with a knife

WORD COUNT: 3.1k

Y/N was excited. Almost too excited for what was sure to be a whole day of sitting in the Scoops Ahoy break room. She had woken up early and made snacks for everyone. She’d even gone as far as getting to the mall (with a very grumpy Dustin) at the same time that Steve and Robin had to show up, 5:30 in the morning.

Suspiciously, she got out of her car with a grin on her face.

She wore the outfit for her date tonight, thinking she wouldn’t have time to go home in between. Steve got out of his car grumpily, and his breath hitched. God, he was screwed. He then decided to be a bit bolder than normal. "Wow." He cleared his throat, smiling wide. "You look beautiful."

Her cheeks turned red, and she would have tried to play it off by scratching her face or 'itching' her nose, but her hands were full of coffee and bags of snacks. "Thanks, Harrington." She squeezed her hand. "It's for my date tonight; I just thought that I wouldn't have time to go home." She was feeling awkward now and thus began the rambling. "I didn't know if it was too much or too little-"

Steve had totally forgotten about Pavelski.

Shit.

"It's perfect. He'll love it." That left a bad taste in his mouth. They stared at each other for a minute, before Robin walked in between them to enter to ice cream shop.

"Morning twats!"

Y/N was knocked out of the trance that was Steve Harrington's eyes, shaking her head to clear her mind. She followed after her best friend, grinning. "Robbie! I brought snacks."

"Wonderful!"

Steve groaned, staring at the ground. "This is going to be a long day."

And he was right—it was a long day. They were halfway through when her 4 a.m. coffee stopped working its magic. Dustin was crankier than usual, and Steve lost all sense of a filter. He was just talking nonstop. Robin was the only one who wasn't totally out of it. She was currently slinging ice cream (as she so lovingly called it) while Steve and Dustin were out spying for potential Evil Russians.

Y/N was sleeping in the break room. She remembered falling asleep what felt like an hour ago, extremely cold because of the fan and the giant freezer to her left. Her eyes opened slowly, looking around the room suspiciously. It was too quiet. She peaked through the window. "Robin, where are Steve and Dustin?"

"Spying."

"Ah." She noticed the headphones around Robin's ears. "I don't suppose you're listening to ABBA in there."

"Nope." She took them off and held them out. "Want to give it a go?"

"Sure."

She shut the window, pressing play on the recording. They had already figured out the translation, but now they needed to know what the code meant.

"The week is long; the silver cat feeds when blue meets yellow in the west. A trip to China sounds nice if you tread lightly." She repeated the words over and over, trying to find some significance to them. Thankfully, she was pulled out of the most boring chant in history by a knock on the back door, yelling back to Robin. "I'll get it!"

She opened the door, and the delivery guy smiled. "Hi."

"Hello."

"Sign here, please."

She took the box and set it down on the table before coming back to the paper. "Thank you." She looked up to smile but saw something familiar. Not a thing she had seen repeatedly, but something she had heard.

Silver Cat.

"Holy shit." The man's eyebrows crinkled, but he walked away, and Y/N shut the door. Thinking about everything else they had heard in that annoying message, it all clicked. Blue meets yellow in the west. A trip to China sounds nice- She ran out of the back, almost trampling her cousin and Steve. She stood on the fountain in the middle of the mall and repeated the code back in her head. Blue meets yellow in the west, the clock at 9 o'clock, a trip to China, Imperial Panda, tread lightly, Kaufmanns Shoe store.

"Holy shit!"

Steve crossed his arms, glaring. "What happened?"

She grinned at the cranky sailor. "I figured it out."

"Figured what out?"

Y/N crossed her arms. "The message."

She moved towards the edge of the fountain to jump off, but Steve held out his hand. "Here."

She blushed, jumping down. "Thanks, Harrington."

Her cousin crossed his arms. "And you're telling us this right now?"

"I just found out, Dustin. I-" She smiled at Steve. "We need to tell Robin."

She suddenly pulled Steve back into the ice cream shop. Robin was standing at the counter, looking annoyed. "Let me guess... you figured it out."

Y/N nodded, and Steve rolled his eyes affectionately, elbowing her softly. "Valedictorian of ‘85."

"Well..."

Dustin made a face at Robin that definitely read, "I'm really disgusted right now, do something." Robin stared down, a smirk adorning her face. Their hands were still clasped together. She cleared her throat. "Ehem." They both looked at her confused, and as Robin gestured down, Y/N and Steve ripped their hands away, spluttering.

"Uh, I-"

"I-"

"We need to make a plan."

Dustin nodded. "Alright, back room. Now."

Robin grabbed the break sign and wrote on the blank space quickly, Be back in 15 minutes.

They all sat down at the table, and Y/N explained the code. "So, what I gathered is that blue meets yellow in the west means the clock, and the west is 9 o'clock. The trip to China and treading lightly is Imperial Panda and Kaufmann's Shoe store, which is the cargo. The Silver Cat is the shipping company. So at 9 o'clock tonight, there will be shipments from Imperial Panda and Kaufmanns from the Lynx Shipping Company."

Robin smiled, and Steve clapped his hands. "Wow."

"How did you even figure it out?"

She smirked at Dustin. "Wel, my little protege, I was signing a package for Robin when I saw the silver cat on the back of the delivery man’s shirt, and it all clicked."

Dustin grinned. "Nice."

Robin quickly went back to slinging ice cream, and Dustin went to see if there were any comic book stores, leaving Steve and Y/N in the back. She shivered, pulling the jacket tighter, the fan above her twirling as fast as it could. Sadly, they couldn’t control how fast it spun, leaving them to freeze to death.

Steve leaned forward. "You're coming with us tonight, right?"

She nodded, frowning slightly, struggling to remember what she was missing. "Yeah. Of course."

"What, what's wrong?"

Y/N groaned. "My date is at eight tonight. Shit."

Hope began to bud in him, and he whispered. "Don't go."

She laughed. "What?"

He looked at her desperately. "I said don't go."

She tried not to have an outburst of emotion. "And why not, Harrington?"

"You know why, Wilkins."

She leaned in, whispering. "Say it."

Steve almost spoke the words out loud before realizing that he, once again, drifted off into his thoughts. He smiled half-heartedly. "It's fine. Just go on your date while we do the spying and shit."

She tilted her head. "Really?" She really needed him to be brave because she knew for a fact that she couldn't be. "You want me to go?"

He glared at her. He had been her best friend for eight years; he knew her like the back of his hand. He knew her tricks, and he knew that she was scared, but couldn’t she understand that he was scared, too? "You know I don't want you to go, but if you go on that date, I'm not going to stop you."

Y/N really had no right to be upset, but she was nevertheless. Her chair squeaked as she pushed it out from beneath her. "I'm leaving."

He nodded, the silence deafening. She turned around and looked back at him, really looked at him. She really wanted to say something, yell that she was in love with him, but instead, she sighed. "Steve-"

He interrupted her, waving her away like she was nothing. Like he didn't care if he lost her. A stranger to his best friend. "Have fun."

She gazed down at the coat that warmed her and realized it was Steve's. She slammed it on the table, a bit too harshly, but she didn’t really care. "It'd be weird if I showed up to a date with another guy's coat on, don't you think?"

She grabbed her keys off the counter and yelled back at her very confused friend. "Tell Dustin I'll pick him up at ten."

Robin turned to Steve slowly, waiting for some bullshit explanation. He just stared at the wall in anger.

Fuck.

God, he was so stupid. He should've gone with "fantasy" Steve's plan, which involved grabbing her face and kissing her senselessly. Now, thanks to his dumbass, she was going on a date with Derek Pavelski. Steve put his head in his hands, squeezing his eyes shut, hoping it was all just a bad dream.

Y/N walked into Enzo's at precisely eight o'clock and smiled at the hostess. "Hi, I'm here for a party of two. Maybe under-"

"Y/N!"

Derek was already sitting. The woman smiled and brought her to the table, where Derek was standing at her seat with her chair pulled out.

She grinned. "Such a gentleman."

"I try." He sat down. "I'm glad you decided to come."

"I am, too. I hope I'm dressed up enough."

Derek laughed. "I hope I am too. I have no idea what the dress code is exactly."

Y/N stared at the menu and, more importantly, the menu's prices. "Wow, I don't know what to get here. It-"

He nodded. "It's expensive."

"Very."

She looked over the top of her menu, staring at him. He was concentrating on what to pick, and she was concentrating on the clock. It was 8:20 already. She sighed.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Great." She put her menu down. "So why'd you invite me here of all places?"

He laughed. "If I'm being honest, it's the first place I thought of. My dad used to bring my mom here all the time before they got divorced. Oh- I-" He stopped for a second and tried to recover. "It's just that I've heard great reviews."

"My mom used to love this place."

He smiled sympathetically. "Guess we both have issues, huh?"

She nodded. "Something like that."

He seemed to go back to his menu, but Y/N could tell he wanted to ask her something. She wasn't going to push. "So, why are you so close with Harrington? Not to pry, but almost our whole lives, you've been around him." He laughed. "From what I've seen, he's kind of an-"

"Asshole?"

He nodded. "He was always such a hardass during basketball. Not to mention, he’s so full of himself."

"Well, he hasn't had it great his whole life. Of course, he'd be an asshole." Derek tilted his head, and Y/N backtracked. "Not that that's an excuse. But even after that, after him being a major asshole, he is still one of the most considerate, kind, loyal people I've ever met. He's like a father figure to all these little shits in town; he- he's especially like a father figure to my cousin, Dustin." She looked at Derek. "I think you might know him. He's the short kid, the one whose hair is always crazy."

"Yeah, yeah. Weird kid."

"Yeah, he is. But Steve really changed last year. He stopped hanging out with Tommy and Carol, and he focused more on actually acting like himself. It's what I admire most about him."

Derek's jaw had dropped, and he had this strange sort of realization on his face. "You love Steve Harrington."

Y/N looked back up from the menu. "What did you say?"

He sat up straight and was almost laughing. "You are in love. With Harrington." He murmured to himself. "I should have known." He looked her in the eye. "What are you doing here?"

"What?"

"What are you doing here with me? Harrington is probably waiting for you, pissed off. He probably has a death wish for me."

She raised an eyebrow. "You want me to go to him?"

"Well, I don't want you to go to him, but I also don't think you should lie to yourself and him any longer. I mean, you're graduation speech was a love letter to the guy." He shook his head and almost laughed. "I'm sorry for wasting your time."

"No, you didn't-"

He nodded in assurance. "I did. We both did." Y/N tilted her head in confusion, and he continued. "Every day we spend apart from who we love, we're wasting time well spent. I mean, this was well spent, but-" He huffed. "You get my point."

"This is the weirdest date I've ever been on. I'm gonna go. Thank you. This was... enlightening."

"Anytime." She walked away, and Derek called the waitress over once again. "Can I get a bottle of Chardonnay please?"

She smirked. "Can I see some ID?"

"Never mind." He put the menu down and smiled sweetly. "Can I get a Shirley Temple?"

Y/N ran to the front of the mall, banging on the windows. The doors were locked, but she knew that Steve, Robin, and Dustin were still in the Scoops Ahoy's backroom. She also knew they would send Steve out to check for noise because Dustin was a chicken, and Robin wasn't an idiot.

She started yelling, relief flooding her senses when she saw a sailor uniform in the distance. She almost smiled at Steve before she remembered their argument. She stopped harassing the mall door and waited for him to let her in.

He somehow looked worried and confused at the same time, swinging open the door and pulling her out of the rain without a second thought. And then he instantly began interrogating her.

"What are you doing here?"

"I-"

"Shouldn't you be at Enzo's?" Her face paled, and Steve assumed the worst. He forgot about their petty fight, and his eyes grew dark, his King Steve persona peeking out of the shadows. "What did he do? Did he- Did he hurt you? I swear to god if that loser touched you-"

She shook her head quickly. "No, no! Steve! He was great... it just wasn't going too well, so I came back to help."

He crossed his arms. "What do you mean it wasn’t going too well?"

"Steve!" She put her hand on his arm, smiling. "Relax, seriously. Nothing happened. We just realized we didn’t like each other like that." She murmured. "We realized a lot of things, actually."

"What was that last part?"

Y/N grinned. "Nothing, sailor. Let's get going." She let her hand fall from his arm to his hand, pulling him towards her. "I'm excited."

He used her hold against her, pulling her back into his arms. Her breath hitched. "You're sopping wet," he said, taking off his rain jacket. "Here. I have another coat in the break room."

She tried not to melt into the smell and warmth that instantly overwhelmed her senses and smiled softly. "Thanks."

"Don't worry about it."

They walked back into Scoops Ahoy. The back room's lights were out. Y/N rolled her eyes and cleared her throat. "Steve's fine, you idiots. Come out of your attack formation."

Dustin popped out from behind the counter. "Y/N/N!"

"Steve! We thought you got attacked by Russians."

"Nope." He sighed heavily. "Just Wilkins."

Y/N shoved him away and hugged Dustin, pulling him along into the backroom. "Let's go be spies, huh?"

Opening the door leading to the roof, Y/N waited until the last of them had gone through before shutting it as slowly as she could. Yes, it was raining, but she really just wanted to err on the side of caution when there were possibly killer Russians below them. She crouched down between Steve and Robin, watching as the delivery truck backed up to the giant door.

"Look for Imperial Panda and Kaufmanns Shoes," Robin shouted over the storm.

"What do you think's in there?"

"Guns, bombs."

Y/N rolled her eyes. "I doubt it. If anything, it's some chemical warfare. Isn't that what this whole cold war is about?"

They watched as the whistling man in a yellow rainjacket walked up to the door by two tall, armed men.

"Well, whatever it is, they're armed to the teeth," Robin added, helping exactly none of them reach peace of mind.

Steve wiped his eyes clear of water and smiled pessimistically. "Great. That's great."

Dustin leaned over the edge, trying to get a better look with his goggles. "What's in there?"

They all watched as the doors opened, and a small room full of other boxes appeared. He sighed. "More boxes."

Steve grabbed the goggles out of her cousin’s hands. "Let me check it out."

Dustin tugged them back, possessive of the goggles his mother had just gifted him. "No! Stop it, Steve!"

"Guys, seriously, cut it out."

Steve let go, and the goggles hit the building, giving the Russians an exact pinpoint as to where they were hiding. They dropped against the roof, holding their breath. Y/N looked down, her hand and Steve's grasping tightly to each other. Neither said anything and chose to ignore it so they could face the much larger problem at hand. Her thoughts immediately turned to the prospect of the Russians finding them, and she looked at everyone else, panic etched in her expression. "We should leave. Like now."

They all nodded and ran to the door. Y/N whisper yelled. "Wait!"

Robin turned back. "What Y/N/N?"

"If they look for us, they'll come through that door."

Dustin nodded. "She's right."

Steve pulled Y/N with him. "There's another door this way; come on!"

They ran through the other door, Steve closing it gently behind them. They walked quickly down the staircase, and Y/N wiped her eyes, slightly stumbling as she lost her sight. Steve held her up, pushing her hair out of her eyes quickly.

Robin laughed, nudging Dustin, now fueled with thoughts of their bombshell revelation. "Well, I think we found your Russians."

Y/N rolled her now clear eyes, her laughter void of humor. "Thank you, Captain Obvious."

taglist: @kendallroydefender @beebeechaos

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #stranger things #stranger things 5 #eleven #dustin henderson #literature #fluff #x reader #angst

51 notes · View notes

igotthebees · 5 months ago

Text

The five scariest words I could say according to my peers: "I'm going off my antipsychotics" aka a Disability Pride Rant about conditional autonomy

It's disability pride month and so I want to take some time to talk about concepts that I see rampant in both abled/neurotypical/whatever you want to call it spaces and in disability spaces as well, which I have jokingly summarized before as "Good Mentally ill/Disabled People Can Have Autonomy, and the Bad Ones Cannot".

More (a lot more) under the cut

I can guess what you're thinking by now. "There are no bad disabled people Nix!!!" I entirely agree. But in mental health and neurodivergent spaces especially I find that there is a lot of internalized and externalized hatred towards people with stereotypically "severe" symptoms, and in so many cases I've found myself caught in a West Side Story-esque battle between the Depressed and Anxious vs the Manic and Psychotic (which is frustrating because we should be friends or lovers! why is my PTSD and trauma history dismissed when I admit that it causes psychosis as well, why are my friends treated better as a whole when they go in for help for depressive episodes than for manic episodes?)

Sidebar, someone is inevitably going to stop reading at this point and scream at me how they've been treated horribly for their very severe depression and I am not only discounting their experience, I am making up an oppression scale, or using stereotypes, or even fabricating that because I am psychotic and dissociative I am better than them or have suffered more. That's really not the intention? I am simply looking at things from the perspective of my own extensive psychiatric hospitalization history, and from perspectives friends have told me. You can absolutely have depression and/or anxiety and suffer more severely than someone with psychosis - but the way the system treats the two of you is going to be severely different. No one escapes the psychiatric system unscathed, but I've been hospitalized three times, one time labeled as traumatized and depressive, another as having BPD, and yet another as an official schizophrenic and they were three very different forms of hell despite minimal symptom changes.

As one girl in a partial hospitalization program said to my face without a hint of understanding of how fucked up it was: "There are two kinds of psych hospitals. There's the ones for us who just want to get better - and there's the place they put the schizophrenics".

Where does autonomy come into this essay that is getting very long very quickly? I've been experiencing episodes of psychosis since I was 17 years old, diagnosed with schizophrenia at the age of 21, and finally undiagnosed with schizophrenia and rediagnosed with autism and severe PTSD with episodes of psychosis at the age of 24. I have been on 8 different types of antipsychotics in 3 years. Three days ago I stopped taking my antipsychotics entirely after nearly 6 months of slowly tapering off them and under heavy observation.

And it's scaring the shit out of people.

I am not a walking time bomb, compared to what people think. The last time I had any sort of delusion or hallucination was nearly a year and a half ago, (and it was while still on heavy-duty sedatives! Medicine isn't always a magic fix, even when it does make things better). But even if I was actively hallucinating this very second, shouldn't what medicine I take be my own choice, especially since I have been cleared multiple times as not a danger to myself or others and am being closely medically followed in case that changes? (not that I personally believe that drugging someone is appropriate even when they are reactive but let's start with mad liberation 101) How come it was so easy to talk to my doctors about going off some of my anxiety medication and lowering my antidepressants but the minute I said I didn't want to be on antipsychotics the word "insight" was thrown out?

Just a warning: the concept of "insight" sucks. Yeah, okay, a large portion of people treated in hospitals for delusions or mania aren't aware of how severe or disruptive their own symptoms are. I've even experienced that before during an episode - I was having pretty significant speech symptoms and didn't realize until someone sat me down that I was acting any different than typical. (someone's going to inevitably bring up double-bookkeeping and my response is that's genuinely a real thing and helpful to talk about but it's not everyone's experience and I really wish that in normalizing it the experiences of people with severe reality distortion weren't erased or said to be an exaggeration).

Anyways - insight as a concept has been abused to hell and back to take away people's autonomy and further situations of severe abuse. When I came forward about my childhood abuse I was gaslit and coerced into telling a doctor that my previous accounts were a delusion and false memories (which aren't even an evidence-backed phenomenon but I digress) and was promptly diagnosed with the aforementioned schizophrenia.

Even other people diagnosed with psychosis have come to me and expressed horror that I am getting off my medication. I can't have a single bad or frantic day without having to do a checklist of if I'm returning to an episode, either because another person suggests it or because it's been engrained so heavily in my head that I'm a ticking time bomb and I know I will lose all my rights again in an instant if I exhibit certain symptoms publically.

Where is this going? Who knows lol, I guess my point is that this July think about how you treat autonomy even in the "crazy of the crazy" or the "ugly disabilities". Think about what you would fight and scream and cry about if it ever happened to you or your friends due to a diagnosis, and then ask yourself if you're just as mad when it happens to the psychotic and schizospec and bipolar communities; when it happens to people with intellectual disability or cognitive disability; people with complex diagnoses and physical disability too; the visibly disabled and facial difference/limb difference community; people with sensory disabilities - even people with your same disorder but higher support needs. Let's not pit ourselves against each other - I'm not magically a better or more deserving person for being crazy and medically complicated, sure, yeah, got it... but I'm also definitely not less deserving of respect because I've got diagnoses that make a lot of people (including other marginalized people) uncomfortable.

And I have to, of course, discuss for a second before I finally shut up and stare at a wall how every single thing I said is colored by my experience as a white psychotic and that being a person of color (particularly black) makes the things I've talked about significantly worse - schizophrenia actually is treated the way it is in society because it was used as a diagnosis in the 1960s in America to call leaders of the Civil Rights movement delusional and dangerous (in the 1920s and 30s when it was really popularized as its own disorder outside of the schizophrenia and/or autism diagnosis of dementia praecox, schizophrenia evolved into a disorder given to white women who said inappropriate things or couldn't take care of the house correctly or wouldn't marry, thought of as silly and delusional but harmless and needing help... which is also fucked up and politically motivated and fuck that, but the disorder was actually changed significantly when it was primarily used to target black men to include sections about violence and dangerousness that weren't included when it targeted white women. The cultural view of schizophrenia as a violent disorder that persists even today is due to racism).

(Required reading for every single person alive who can handle psychological and or/racial theory but especially those going into the medical field is "The Protest Psychosis: How Schizophrenia Became a Black Disorder" by Jonathan Metzel, probably the greatest and most eye-opening book I have ever read, ironically enough I don't have it anymore because I gave it to another person to read in residential and he then stole it and got kicked out of the program)

#neuropunk #madpunk #actuallydisabled #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #actuallymentallyill #disability pride month #actuallypsychotic #antipsych #antipsychiatry #tw hospitalization #lateral ableism #ableism #sorry for the huge rant but somebody said something that made me really mad so now its everybodys problem

57 notes · View notes