#This was such a hard decision but I wasn't gonna keep dragging this out until there was a painful conclusion | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yourmidnightlover · 4 years ago

Text

decisions

summary - reader wants spencer's attention and gets it the one way she knows how to, leading to a long night, leading to soft aftercare

tw - smut, spitting, spanking, face-fucking, oral (male and female receiving), overstimulation, fingering, breeding kink, choking, squirting, slight subspace, subdrop, aftercare, dom!spencer

wc - 4,164

masterlist

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decisions made in the past lead to things you could never think of. making the decision to wake up. making the decision to turn right instead of left. making the decision to tease your boyfriend.

and that very decision lead you to where you are now.

you remained face down in the bed, your back arched up as high as it would go - more like as high as spencer deemed it to go. your heart had been racing all night, really, you never got a break.

you and spencer had been in a committed relationship for almost two years now. spencer had become very dominant in the bedroom, and you truly didn't mind. you had all the proper precautions to take if necessary. you had discussed a safe word and hard boundaries. he wanted to let you know that you were safe with him, while in bed or otherwise.

spencer knew your body. he knew it, arguably, better than you did, which is why you were okay with submitting yourself fully and completely to the gorgeous man. he knew when you couldn't take anymore and when you needed to be loved on rather than spanked.

but earlier out with the team you had been a bad girl.

you were impatient, teasing spencer by letting your hand rest dangerously high on his thigh. you wore a dress that revealed more cleavage than most of your outfits. the thing that made spencer break was when you excused yourself to the bathroom, only to come back and place your panties, which were wet with your arousal, in spencer's lap with an innocent smile.

in an instant, his hand was on yours as he muttered some excuse to leave promptly. you couldn't deny the excitement that coursed through your veins at the thought of what he would do to you once you got home.

you sat in the passenger seat of the car, your thighs pressing together in attempt to relieve any tension that had been building since you saw him in his stupidly hot suit. he quickly brought his hand to your thighs, spreading them apart once more.

"no," he barked. "you've been a brat all night. you don't get to reward yourself. you'll see what happens to brats when we get home."

"i don't know..." you trailed off, wanting to push his buttons even further. "i think no matter what you do it'll be a reward for me."

"just wait until we get home to test that theory," he said in an eerily calm voice, his hands still separating your thighs.

in your mind, you had won. you had his attention on you just like you had practically begged for all night.

you barely got him to yourself nowadays. you were always on a case and when you weren't on a case you were out with the team or he was with derek. you hadn't had any adult, alone time in a little over a month, and you were getting needy. you had worn the outfit in attempt to just make spencer skip the dinner altogether, opting to just stay with you instead. turns out, he didn't really care about that either.

so, really, your brattiness was reasonable.

your loving dom wasn't giving you the attention you wanted so you got it yourself. no biggy.

"i want you to go inside," he growled as he put the car in park, "and strip for me. when i get in our bedroom you should be in position in wait. got it?"

"yes, sir," you nodded as you unbuckled your seatbelt, turning to get out.

"oh, and princess," you smirked at the nickname before turning around. "don't you dare touch yourself."

"y-yes, sir," you nodded once again as you made your way inside, leaving a trail of clothing once you closed the door.

you slid your jacket off first, placing it on the third step of the stairs and placing your heels on the top of them. you laid your dress down in the hallway and your bra once you walked into the room. you positioned yourself by kneeling in front of your full-length mirror, your gaze turned towards the floor in wait.

after what felt like ages, you heard the door creak open, followed by the footsteps of your boyfriend.

"what am i to do with you?" he questioned to himself.

you turned to see him standing over you, his pupils blown wide with lust from the sight of you so vulnerable... ready... submissive... his.

"did i say you could look at me, pet?" he barked as he bent down to grasp your chin firmly, opening your mouth for him to spit inside of it. "swallow, sweet girl," he grinned maniacally as he watched you gulp. "that's right."

he looked at you as if he were contemplating his purpose in life. with such intent and thought you knew you were in for it.

"get up," he rasped as he dragged you up by your chin, walking you over to the bed as he sat down. "bend over my lap," he ordered.

who were you to disobey?

"alright, princess," his hand trailed over the curve of your ass, squeezing the fat of your thighs once he got low enough. "i'm gonna spank you as much i feel necessary for your behavior tonight," he began. "i want you to count each one for me. follow the rules and use your safe word if necessary, alright?" his free hand came up to stroke your hair tenderly.

"yes, sir," you rasped. "i understand."

thwap!

"one," your hips wiggled around before he grabbed them, grounding them to his thighs to keep you still.

thwap!

"t-two," you numbered off, feeling the slight sting from his ring he wore on his pinky on occasion.

thwap!

"thr-three."

his lashes became harder and more frequent until he eventually let up, which was about after a total of 10 swats. by the time they were done you had tears and mascara streaking down your face.

"good girl," he praised as he admired the red marks left behind on your skin, some of them already bruising. "on your knees for me."

you quickly shuffled out of his lap and onto the floor, trying your best not to irritate the skin on your ass as he made his way in front of you. he undid the buttons on his shirt as well as his buckle, pulling his hard cock out and stroking it a few times before slapping it off on your cheek.

"open wide," he commanded before slamming his length into your mouth, not giving you a chance to get used to him before he thrust at a rapid pace. "fuck," he groaned. "this is what happens when my little slut decides to be a brat all night."

the sight before you made you wetter than you had been before. his head was thrown back in pleasure as his thrusts continued. tears were pricking the corners of your eyes, threatening to spill over while his hands flew to the back of your head, forcing his cock down deeper than before.

"only thing your mouth is good for, yea?" he groaned as he pulled on your hair. "only good for pleasing me when i want you to. you're my little fuck thing," you moaned around his dick in agreement, the tears now streaming down your face before he yanked you off of his cock. "lay down on your back on the bed."

you got up as quickly as you could, quickly admiring the quick bruising of your knees from kneeling on the hard floor before laying on the bed. you saw him take off his shirt and pants, leaving him just as naked as you.

"hmm," he paced to the bed slowly, making you wait even more before he finally ran his hand along your face. "what did you do wrong bunny?"

"i-i was impatient with you," you mumbled. "i teased you," you listed off. "i was mouthy," you poured, looking down at your hands to avoid his disappointed gaze.

"you're right," he agreed. "you misbehaved a lot tonight, princess," he ran his hand along your hair once more. "so you'll take whatever i give you and be grateful for it."

"i'll take whatever you give me and be grateful," you nodded, eager to do anything and everything he wanted.

he ran his hands down to your clit, rubbing it side to side gently, just how you like it. you immediately cling to his arm, keeping his closer to you as you pressed a kiss to his shoulder.

"that feel good?" he asked, "you like it when i touch you like this?"

"yes, yes. i like it so much," you moaned at the relief flossing through your veins. "please, sir."

"please what?"

"mmm, please let me cum!" you shouted, feeling so close to the edge from such little stimulation. "pleaasee?"

there was a split second when you thought he would grant you an orgasm. a split second when you felt that euphoria flood over you. then, in an instant, it was gone along with his hand.

"fucking hell!" you shouted at the frustration. you had been so close only for him to take it away.

"hey," he barked, grabbing your face and squeezing your cheeks together once more. "what did we say about you taking what i give you?"

"that i'll be grateful for it," you muttered underneath your breath, squeezing your thighs together to try to get that pleasure once more.

"exactly. and grateful little sluts like you don't get to complain," he reprimanded you, finally releasing your face as he slammed his fingers into your pussy at a relentless rate.

"oh my god!" you yelled, sucking on his shoulder to try and ground yourself.

"yea, you like being treated like a little whore, huh? you like me slamming into your tight little fucking pussy," he groaned into your ear. "i own this pussy. i use it when i want where i want."

"it's your pussy; you own me," you mumbled into his skin, your pussy tightening around his fingers.

"such a good play thing for me," he chuckled, curling his fingers to hit that special spot inside of you. "so eager to take whatever i give you."

"whatever you give me," you repeated back, not knowing what else to say as you felt that familiar feeling building inside of you quickly before he yanked his hand away.

instead of saying anything, you learned your lesson, you just whined from the loss. the feeling of his hand now gone entirely from your pussy.

"please, sir," you whined into his shoulder, your nails digging into the skin.

"not yet, princess," he kissed your cheek. "you're still in trouble for earlier. making me hard in front of all of our friends isn't cute, bunny."

"mmm," you kissed his skin once again. "'m really sorry, sir."

"i know you are," he laughed. "but that doesn't get you off the hook. your punishment isn't over yet."

"mm'kay," you sighed.

he finally, for the first time that night, brought his lips to yours as he crawled on top of you. he took your bottom lip between his, pulling away gently as you started grinding your core against his leg. he allowed you to do this, surprisingly, and only smiled against your lip at the feeling of your wet center on his leg.

to help you out a bit, he started grinding his leg against you, quickly building up the tension in your core once more. he could tell you were getting close when you began whining into his lips, your hands wringing the hair on the back of his neck.

and then he snapped his leg away. you bit down on his lips gently, not because you were upset - although you were, but because you were surprised from the sudden action. so this time he let it slide.

"i know, princess," he grinned once more at your disappointment before trailing kisses down your collarbone.

"'m so sorry, sir," you repeated once more. "'m sorry, 'm sorry," you continued on before his lips met with your center, you groaned out in pleasure.

"fuck, your pussy is so wet for me, so pretty," he blew over your core, your hips bucked up to meet his mouth once more, he let out a laugh at your eagerness.

"feels so good," you praised, your hands finding their rightful place in his hair and gently pulling it, he let out a groan into your pussy as he began eating you out like you hadn't already eaten dinner. "please, sir! please! 'm so close!" you ground your hips against his face. he entered two fingers inside of your pussy and curling them as he had earlier that night.

"let go, bunny," he smiled against you as you shouted in pure ecstasy, your hips grinding faster as his lips continued their attack on your clit.

"ugh, yes!" you moaned out. "thank you, sir. thank you so much," you said over and over like a mantra, too dumb to be able to say anything else.

"good job," spencer praised as he began kissing up your body, worshipping every once of it. "so pretty for me. my dumb little bunny," he smiled against you as his lips circled your breast, his teeth barely grazing your nipple.

"thank you, sir," you repeated once more. it was when you shifted your legs once more that you realized how painfully hard he was. "use me."

when spencer looked into your eyes he saw them glossed over, a look on your face that only reflected your devotion for him. he connected your lips once more before pulling back.

"use me to make you feel good, sir," you asked again. "please?"

"you want me to fuck you, princess?" he asked, a devious look in his eyes.

"mhmm," you nodded eagerly. "i want you to fuck me really hard, sir."

"m'kay bunny," he replied with a grin before slamming his long member into you.

"ugh!" you moaned out at the feeling of being stretched so much but so, so good.

he didn't give you time to adjust before he started ramming into you quickly. the tears that were once in your eyes were returning from the pressure you felt. your pussy clamped around his dick, his hips stuttering inside of you.

"fuck, princess," he groaned into your ear, his hands wrapping around your throat. "i'm gonna fill this pussy up. use my little fuck toy however i please. let everyone know you're mine; let you remember who you belong to, who owns you."

"yes, yes!" you cried out. "please fill me up! need it, please!"

he pulled out of you quickly, flipping you over onto your knees before slamming into you once more. his hands drew your hips as high as they could go into the air, pushing your chest down into the mattress, consequently muffing your cries. he got so deep inside of you, you were able to feel him hitting your cervix as the tears flew down your face. the slaps he gave on your ass made the marks he made earlier sting once more. he grabbed your hands, pinning them behind your back after he gathered them into one of his.

"my dumb whore loves it when i'm rough with her, yea?" he groaned out. "when i get so fucking deep in her she can barely speak?"

"yea, yes!" you agreed, unable to do anything but.

"fuck, princess," spencer's hips stuttered as he slammed into you even quicker, his hands reaching up to circle your clit rapidly. "i want you to cum, bunny. cum with me. gonna fill you up, make you a mother, make me a fucking dad. shit!" he moaned as he felt your pussy clench around him once more, signaling your orgasm nearing you.

his pace continued quickly. before you knew it, you were cumming all over the sheets.

"fuck, yes!" you shouted, your squirt soaking spencer's dick as he came inside you.

"just like that, bunny," he laughed out. "keep going," he ordered as his hand continued to run at your pearl, his thrusts fucking his cum back into you.

when you squirt one more time over his dick, his laugh echoed in the room as your cry was muffled by you shoving your head into the pillow.

"so good for me, princess," he praised as he tried to pulled out of you, you whined, reaching up to grab his hand to stop him. "shh," he cooed. "i'll be right back," he pressed a kiss to your back before pulling out of you, chuckling when he heard your whine from the stimulation.

when he returned, he noticed you were in the exact same position. your face was turned to the side but still pressed into the sheets, your ass remained in the air, the slaps and bruised prominent. he walked over to the bed, dining his hand along your spine as he sat down beside you. when you saw he was there, you looked up at him and smiled.

"hi," you said groggily.

"hi, y/n," he smiled, his hand now running through your hair. "ready to get cleaned up?" he asked kindly.

"mm-mm," you shook your head the best you could. "'m tired, wanna sleep."

"i know, bunny. but we need to get you cleaned up first. what if you took a bath, yea?" he asked.

"with you?" you questioned, your eyes wide with hope.

"of course, bunny," he pressed a kiss to your forehead as his hands wiped the still wet tears from your face.

he took your arms and helped you sit up, guiding you to your feet so he could walk you to the bathroom. he set you on the toilet as he started on the bath for you, being sure to add your favorite bubbles, bath salts, and essential oils to help you relax. when you were both done, he guided you to the tub, helping you step inside with your wobbly legs.

he admired you as he began washing your face, smiling slightly as you winced from the spankings you received earlier meeting the warm water. the mascara that stained your face, the rosiness that remained on your cheeks - all the more reason to love you more. the way that even after being ruined you still looked so beautiful would always remain a mystery to him.

but the thing that had puzzled him since the day you agreed to go out with him was how he managed to get a girl so perfect. you were perfect, even in your imperfections. the way you were so patient with him in the beginning stages of your relationship, letting him reveal his past to you when he was ready. you let him make the first move in the physical touch department, knowing how he was sometimes uncomfortable with it. you were so overwhelmingly you that he couldn't imagine how you could love him.

"getting in?" you questioned as he sat on the side of the tub, just looking at you.

"yes," he kissed your hairline. "i'm getting in."

you scooted forward in the tub so he could fit perfectly behind you. his arms wrapped around you perfectly; you were made for them. your head lie against his chest, his chin resting on top of your head.

you sat there in silence with each other, knowing you didn't need anything but each other in that moment. it was comforting, just the presence of one another. the warmth of your lover pressed against your back as you relished in the rare moment you had alone with one another. you missed these moments, you barely ever got them anymore.

"what's wrong, bunny?" spencer questioned upon hearing your sniffles. you didn't realize you were crying until he pointed it out.

"'m sorry," you apologized, quickly wiping the tears from your eyes.

"you don't need to say sorry," he pulled back to look at you, tears still flowing. "really bad subdrop, huh, bunny?" he asked sweetly, his hands cupping your face.

"mhmm," you nodded, closing your eyes and sniffling once more.

"you did so good for me, y/n," he pressed a kiss to your lips. "my special girl, always taking care of me."

you smiled at the sentiment, taking a deep breath to try and regulate your emotions.

"i love you, bunny," he said. "so, so much."

"love you, spence," you smiled against his lips. "feel floaty."

"i know, honey," he kissed you once more. "let's get out so we can get you hydrated, yea?"

"yes, sir," you agreed, trying to stand on your own but failing, falling down back into the tub and pouting.

"it's alright," he mumbled, standing up himself and quickly drying off and getting dressed. "here," he placed his hands under your arms and pulled you up, letting you put your body weight on him as you got out.

he grabbed a soft towel and dried you off, you placed your hands on his shoulders for balance. then he grabbed your fluffy robe and wrapped it around your body.

"alright, can you lay on your stomach for me?" he asked as he guided you into the room, you nodded your head as you crawled into bed. "good girl," he praised.

he reached into the drawer by his side of the bed, retrieving the special lotion for your wounds. he lifted the robe up enough for him to tend to you. running the lotion into your red, bruised bottom, he heard you whine softly, probably trying to muffle your discomfort, from the contact.

"i know, sweetie, i know," he murmured. "i'm almost done."

once he was done, he quickly ran to the kitchen to get you some chocolate and water. when he came back into the room he helped you sit up, guiding the water to your mouth slowly to help you drink.

"good job, honey," he pressed a kiss to your cheek. "chocolate? it'll help keep your blood pressure up," he offered.

"mm'kay," you nodded, leaning your head on his shoulder as he fed you the candy. when you were finished with it, you finally spoke up, "'m sorry i was a bad girl," you mumbled.

"you weren't bad, sweetie," he corrected. "just a bit impatient, is all."

"mm-mm," you disagreed.

"okay, why were you a 'bad girl' tonight?" he indulged you.

"'cause i just wanted your attention. we never get any time together anymore 'n' i miss you a lot. you only pay attention when i'm a bad girl," you explained to him.

spencer felt his heart crack at the reveal. you were only acting that way because he didn't put enough attention on you, the girl he's truly in love with. and he punished you for wanting his love and attention and now he felt like a dick.

"oh sweet girl," he whispered, his hand bringing your face towards his. "i'm so sorry. i didn't even realize why you were acting that way. i should've asked you why, or maybe just paid more attention," he sighed, looking into your glazed-over eyes. "i'm so sorry, bunny."

"no, no," you pressed your hands to his face. "don't say sorry. i shouldn't have been bad."

"you could never be bad," he smiled at your devotion.

"whatever you say," you smiled as he kissed you once more.

"let me take this robe and get you some clothes to sleep in, alright?" he whispered softly.

"can i sleep in your clothes?" you asked shyly, as if spencer could ever say no to you.

"of course you can," he felt his heart swell as he went off to grab you a pair of his boxers and an old sweater of his.

when he returned he helped you out then on, you lifted your hips and raised your arms to aid him. he snuggled in behind you, wrapping his arms around your torso much like he had when he was in the bath with you. you turned around to face him one last time to press a kiss to his lips before nuzzling into his chest. his arms shifted to move around your shoulders and waist, your leg thrown over one of his own.

having your breathing lull him to sleep was a tune he would never get tired of playing. nights like these, cuddled up with one another, safe in each other's grasp, were the reason he knew his decision was the right one.

the decision to buy the ring. the decision to make the plan. the decision to propose tomorrow. the decision to spend the rest of his life with you.

#spencer reid smut #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer x y/n #spencer reid fluff #smut #aftercare #dom!spencer #spencer x reader #spencer x you #sub!reader #bratty!reader #subdrop

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starlightxsvt · 3 years ago

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3 dates | epilogue

pairing ➳ badboy!Seungcheol x female!reader

genre ➳ badboy au, romance, some fluff, angst, bad attempt at humour, gets spicy at the end.

word count ➳ 3.5k (total 15.6k)

warnings ➳ cursing, mentions of killing, mentions criminal activities, slight violence(non explicit), smoking, ma man Seungcheol ain't your typical badboy, blackmailing, reader does all sorts of risky things cuz she's a SIMP, blood(nothing explicit), kissing, marking, some breast worshipping, grinding, reader is horny lol. (Please lemme know if I forgot anything.)

a/n : here's the epilogue to 3 dates since tumb1r won't let me post the whole fic in one post :) Enjoy!

Part 1

As time progresses and days turn into weeks and then into months you are not left with the luxury to cry over Seungcheol. Instead you are bombarded with assignments and projects from your uni and you drown yourself completely in work to forget the scathing pain. Katelyn figured out something is wrong with you and even though talking about that man pains you too much, you told her that you are done with him and you won't be seeing him again in this lifetime. Katelyn did not ask any questions after that as you said you needed time to heal, time to forget even though you have serious doubts he'd ever leave your mind.

You have also applied for an internship to keep you even busier so that when you return home you are too tired to let the thoughts of him plague your mind as you drift off to sleep. And just like that, you have developed a routine, work, eat and sleep, trying your best to allow yourself to not think about him.

Despite that sometimes, some very few times, you think of him, wonder how he's doing, wonder if he's safe. You ponder if he thinks of you, if he regrets his decision but you don't have any answer. You simply hope he does.

After another day full of assignments and projects you almost doze off to sleep as soon as you hit your bed until you are intruded by the loud ringing of your phone. Annoyed, you reach for it, wondering who would be calling so late.

The caller ID has your heart doing a backflip, the name you were unable to delete from your heart and your phone flashing on the screen as you instantly sit up in your bed. It's Seungcheol.

Why is he calling so late?

You wait a few seconds, scared to pick up, scared that he might have called accidentally. But before you lose your chance, you inhale deeply and pick the call up. "Hello?" You speak, your voice tentative.The silence from the other end makes your heart fall and your suspicion come true. He called you accidentally and now he will realize it and hang up. You're about to speak again when his voice floats through.

"Hi."

The emotions you feel are overwhelming, undescribable. You're relieved, you're sad, you're excited, you want to cry and scream at the same time. That one word from him has you feeling tingles all over and makes you feel like you just did a hundred laps. Anyhow you manage to speak. "Hey." Your voice almost cracks and tears almost slip past your cheeks. You don't know why you are so emotional. "I just...I just wanted to hear your voice." He sounds so tired...so dejected and your heart breaks. Never in your life did you imagine him to call and say those words to you but instead of feeling happy, a current of melancholy hits you.

Why does he sound so broken?

"Seungcheol? Is...is everything alright?" Your voice is feather like, soft and careful. You hear him sigh loudly and you get your answer. Instead of replying to you, he asks, "How have you been?"

"I'm...fine," you lie. You have been nowhere near fine. He hums noncommittally and you're about to ask him the same question before you realize how dumb it would be. If his voice is any indication he is anything but fine. "____?" He calls your name softly. "Y-yes?" You whisper.

He stays silent, for so long that you think he hung up. "I- I just...can I see you?" He seems to have a hard time gathering his words.

What? You lurch out of bed pushing your covers aside in excitement, trying to prevent a gasp out of your lips. Did you even hear correctly? He wants to see you?

"Wha... what do you mean?" You mumble. You hear him sigh loudly, "I...I am in front of your apartment. Just come down for a minute." You don't need to hear any more words as you are dashing towards your front door in your pajamas, not disconnecting the call. You take the elevator and come out of the building as fast as possible, bumping into things in your way but not giving a care. You feet stops as you stand in front of the entrance to your building, eyes searching wildly for Seungcheol. "Stay there," his voice comes through the phone, just as you spot him standing on the opposite to your building, decently far but not far enough that you can't see.

A horrified gasp leaves your mouth as your eyes finally land on him.

He stands there, bruised, his beautiful face marred with scratches and wounds, his clothes having patches of dirt and if you are seeing correctly his left arm is bleeding as he holds the phone next to his ear with the other.

"Seungcheol-" you're about to rush towards him. "Don't move." He cuts you off, looking you in the eye. Even from afar you don't miss the dark, commanding gaze of him. "Just...just stay there. Just...let me look at you."

No- why is he doing this?

Tears slip down your cheeks, "Seungcheol-" You are interrupted once more, "Please. I- I missed you and...I needed to see you. Just let me hear your voice and look at you like this." His voice almost cracks and you can see the emotion in his eyes.

Your heart breaks.

Why does he keep doing this? Why does he keep pushing you away? Why does he torment himself like this?

You stand there, rooted to the ground, quiet sobs leaving your mouth. He comes here all bruised and wounded and expects you to stay away? How can you when you can clearly see him in pain?

You grip the phone tighter, watching him as he stands there, not moving an inch. His eyes never leaves you as he drinks you in, like this is the last time he's gonna look at you. You can't stand it anymore. Hanging up the phone you run towards him, as fast as your nimble legs can carry you. You can't stay away, you just can't. Not when he looks so hurt and lost and lonely.

Your body smashes against his as you wrap your arms tightly around his torso, your head buried in his chest. He stumbles back from the force and for a while he stays unmoved and you hold your breath, half expecting him to shove you away. But he doesn't. Instead he pulls you firmly against him resting your head on his chest while burying his face in your hair.

The tears come naturally. Loud, ungraceful sobs emerge from you as you cling to him like your life depends on it, your grip on him unyielding. Seungcheol softly pets your hair as your cries fill the silence of the cold night. You pull back just a little to look at his face and you want to once more. There's a cut above his brow and some bruises on his cheek and nose and another cut on his lower lip. But you can't bring yourself to care as you lean above to press your lips against his. You don't dare hold back, kissing him like the world is about to end. Seungcheol reciprocates, tilting your head for better access as his tongue prods into your mouth and you taste the metallic flavour of blood. The kiss is messy, all teeth and tongue, an outpour of the bottled up feelings of the last couple months.

You both take a lungful of air when you pull back and you're about to dive in for more when you realize his arm is injured. "Wha- how did this happen?" You hiccup, wiping away your tears as you gently reach for his bleeding arm. His clothes are torn at the part of the wound and from what you can see, it looks like a knife injury, a thin, slanted cut on his upper arm as if someone slashed him. "It's nothing," he says trying to push your hand away.

"It's not nothing, Seungcheol!" You're yelling before you know it. It's the exasperation, the accumulated frustration over the days that makes you snap.

Seungcheol seems to be shocked at your outburst as he blinks at you, an astonished look on his face. He's kind enough to reply honestly this time. "Got into a fight. I was outnumbered. It's okay, it's nothing serious, I've had worse," his voice is small, almost timid which is definitely unlike him.

Of course he has had worse.

You let out a tired breath. "Come on, you're bleeding. Let me help you." You wrap a hand around his uninjured arm, tugging him towards your apartment.

"No, you don't have to-" he protests but you pin him down with a look. "Please," you speak, your voice low. "I can't let you go like this. Just let me clean your wound." Seungcheol presses his lips into a thin line as if trying to prevent himself from speaking further. When no more words leave his mouth, you drag him into your building in silence.

Entering your unit you help Seungcheol sit down in your small living space as you quickly pad towards the bathroom for the first aid kit. When you return you find him looking around your place with a curious glow in his eyes similar to a child's. As your eyes meet, he sits up straighter and tries to remove his jacket. You aid him in the process, discarding the material on the floor as you take a seat next to him, the first aid kit in your lap.

Thankfully he's wearing a tank top as it gives you easy access to his biceps. You would have stopped to admire and ogle them if he wasn't hurt, which he is and you mentally smack yourself for having such thoughts right now. Seungcheol's eyes does not leave your face as he silently gazes at you and if you didn't know any better you would say he looked at you fondly.

Swallowing, you sanitize your hands before proceeding to clean his wound. Seungcheol tenses beside you, low, pained grunts leaving his lips a few times as you disinfect the cut. But he says nothing, letting you do the work and you don't speak either focused on the task at hand. You then do the same for his face and finish your work by wrapping a bandage around his bicep and sitting back, exhaling a satisfied sigh. Unintentionally your eyes connect to his and you find his scorching gaze on you, those mesmerising eyes almost piercing through your soul. Feeling self aware, you abruptly stand up, coughing to clear your throat. "You should take a shower. I have some extra clothes for my parents when they come over. My dad's clothes should fit you."

"No, it's alright. I should leave." He murmurs. "You're already here. Might as well take a shower. There's no rush," you say sternly, trying to make him agree.

Truth is you want him to stay, at least the night.

Seungcheol sits quietly for a while as if contemplating before surrendering with a sigh. "Okay." "Good. The bathroom's this way," you point towards the attached bath in your room and Seungcheol mutely follows. You offer him a towel and you dad's pajamas, hoping they'd do the job for tonight as he closes the door behind him.

As silence fill the apartment, you quietly return to your bed and sit, anxiously chewing on your lower lip. The digital clock beside your bed reads 2:50 am but your sleep is long gone.

Choi Seungcheol is here. In your house.

Will he spend the night? Or will he be his stubborn self and leave as soon as he is out? And if he does stay, will you see him in morning? Or will he be gone before the sun is up? The thoughts running rampant in your mind gives you a headache as you groan, rubbing your temples. You are sure Seungcheol feels something for you, he has to. Otherwise why would he come to you in the middle of the night? If only he told you his feelings, spilled his heart out to you rather than hiding and pushing you away. He just needs to bare himself to you, tell you what is in his heart. Why can't he do that? Why can't he just give the two of you a chance?

Your thoughts are interrupted as Seungcheol steps out the bathroom, half naked, the pajama pants hanging low on his hips as his muscled body is displayed in all its glory, making your throat dry. He looks at you before quickly looking away as an air awkwardness and tension fills the room. You hold your breath, watching him intently, not moving a single muscle as he tentatively takes a seat at the corner of your bed while wiping his wet hair with the towel hanging around his neck.

You want to tell him to stay the night, the words right on the tip of your tongue but you're terrified that it will just make him walk out here immediately. So instead you watch him with bated breath, waiting for his next move, waiting for him to say something, anything that will put an end to this deafening silence.

Seungcheol takes mercy on you.

"Thank you," he says, voice barely audible. You don't know what he's thanking you for you reply anyway. "Welcome. Though I don't know what you are thanking me for." Seungcheol remains silent for a few beats, his eyes focused on the floor before replying. "For everything. I have a lot to thank you for."

Okay.

You nod mutely, unable to figure out a reply. Another wave of silence settles in the atmosphere like a blanket. You take this time to appreciate his beautiful profile, engraving his features in your mind. The moonlight coming from your window falls on his face partially, illuminating his sculpted lineaments. You get to admire his beauty once more as he sits there but the look on his face tugs at your heartstrings. He looks troubled and in pain, the natural glow of his face somewhat dim. You wonder how the past couple of months have treated him. You wonder how life has been treating him, if he had someone to go to, someone to share his worries with all this time.

"Do you still like me?" His words make your eyes widen as it the last thing you expected to come from him. "You wouldn't be here if I didn't," your words come out harsher than you intended making you regret instantly. Perhaps the pain you have suffered for a while is coming out finally. However, seeing his silence, you reply once more, voice much softer this time, "Of course I still like you, Seungcheol. I have...I have never liked anyone or anything as much as you."

It's an understatement. What you feel for him is love but you would rather keep that to yourself.

"Why?" Seungcheol's voice comes out as a croak as his eyes connect to yours. For the first time, you see so much emotion in them and maybe, maybe even some unshed tears, though you can't be sure because the light is not sufficient right now. Your throat closes up for some reason as your eyes mirror the emotions in his and you desperately try to think, try to give him a reply that he deserves.

"You are very easy to like," you say lamely. Your reply is insufficient but that's all you can manage without starting to bawl like a child. A humourless laugh comes out of Seungcheol and echoes through the otherwise quiet room. "I doubt that," he says, his voice deep. "It's true Seungcheol," you repeat, voice firm.

A mirthless grin settles on his face and you know he isn't buying your words. Swallowing, you carefully, too carefully, scoot towards him and sit down, maintaining a little space between the the two of you. "I don't understand why you hold such negative thoughts about yourself but believe me Seungcheol, it's hard not to fall in love with you."

Your slip-up causes your eyes to widen, face drowning in embarrassment as you realize you just said the L word. Seungcheol, however, does not react to it but turns his head to study your face and the pain and sentiment in his eyes, his passionate gaze on you makes you forget human language. You've never seen nor imagined Seungcheol to be so full of ardor and pain and now that you have, you don't know what to do. You just want to cling to him and cry like a child.

"Can't you see how fucked up I am? What and awful person I am, ____? Someone like me deserves noth-" Unable to hold yourself back you interrupt him by cupping both of his cheeks and pressing your lips to his. You kiss him softly, carefully, trying to gauge his feelings while trying not to push him too hard. Seungcheol stays immobilised, letting you kiss him like that. When you pull back, his eyes are closed and he rests his forehead against yours. "You are just fine, Seungcheol. I like you just the way you are. Don't...beat yourself up like this, hmm?" Your voice is just above a whisper as you tilt his head to meet his eyes. Seungcheol stares quietly at you for a while before suddenly pushing you back and caging you underneath his large body. A squeak of surprise leaves your lips as Seungcheol wastes no time wrapping himself around you while attaching his lips to yours.

This time the kiss is not soft, it is full of passion and vigour and longing as Seungcheol takes the reign. Your lips mold perfectly against each other and Seungcheol does not hold back, kissing you like a starved man; all teeth and tongue. He pulls back for a while, supporting himself on his elbows as you looks at you while you try to catch your breath underneath him. His hand comes to stroke your hair gently, like a lover and your eyes burn at his tenderness.

"Seungcheol-"

"Is there still a place for me in your heart?" He asks, a hopeful note in his voice. His words leave you breathless as you gape at him in suprise, you mouth open slightly. Seungcheol looks at you look longingly as he waits for your answer, which comes easily, without a second thought.

"Of course, Seungcheol. I...I love you."

This time it is his turn to be surprised as his pupils dilate and a soft gasp of surprise escapes from him. Swallowing, you hold his gaze, waiting for his next words but they never come. Instead, the man attacks your lips with renewed fervour while slotting a muscular thigh between your legs. As his toned thigh brushes against your core a wanton moan leaves your mouth and you wrap your legs around his waist. You can feel Seungcheol smirk against your skin while he kisses a path down from jaw towards your neck, taking his sweet time to plant some love bites along the way while you gasp and writhe underneath him. Soon he reaches the valley of your breasts and with skilled fingers he does a quick work of the buttons of your night shirt. His heated gaze remains on your now bare breasts and you can feel your nipples harden in the chill air of the room before he leans down to plant soft kisses all over them. While he does so you continue to grind your core against his leg, desperate for some friction which he is denying you. His assault on your neck and breasts don't stop as he remains focused in marking you, blooming kisses of red and purple on your skin.

"I missed you," His voice comes out as throaty whisper while he keeps his lips attached to your heated skin. "Me too," you choke between moans as his ministrations on your body leaves you aching all over for him.

He pulls back to meet your gaze, "I want you. I... always have and I've been hiding it. But I can't anymore."

"Take me then, Seungcheol," It isn't the most romantic thing to say but that is all your lust clouded brain can manage as you keep grinding yourself against him. You feel his hard on poke your belly and unlike your lover, you really can't wait anymore. You need him now.

Seungcheol keeps looking at you, too busy studying your features rather than doing something about the wetness between your legs and you're about to tell him to do something when he speaks, "I love you, ____. I'm sorry for the hurt I've caused you. Let me make it up to you."

Great. Now you're horny and emotional.

His confession brings tears to your eyes but your neediness is growing so you pull his face down closer to yours and whisper, "You can start doing that by making me cum. And then you can stay. With me. Forever. How about that?" A mischievous grin kisses his face, "I'd love that sweetheart."

You grin in happiness not wasting anymore time as you reconnect your lips with his.

a/n 2: Whew~ a whopping 15k+! I can't believe I wrote something this huge. But it was well worth it! I just hate this damn app like I don't understand?? I've seen ppl post fics with 40k+ words yet tumb1r says I've reached 250 blocks like what?? Anyhow, I really really hope you enjoyed reading this baby cuz I've been working on it for soooo long! If you did please reblog and share as always your feedbacks are highly appreciated so please leave them in the comments or my ask box!

#seventeen #seventeen imagines #seventeen scenarios #seventeen scoups #scoups smut #scoups imagines #seungcheol imagines #seventeen fic #seventeen fanfic #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #svt imagines #svt fluff #svt scenarios #seventeen au #svt seungcheol #choi seungcheol #kpop imagines

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rogue-durin-16 · 4 years ago

Text

HIS WARM EYES

Summary: Some members of the Order are reticent about letting in a Lestrange, specially after Snape's betrayal. Whilst taking Harry to the the burrow, an ambush has place. Everything points to Y/n, right?

Pairing: George Weasley x Slytherin!Lestrange!Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

George Weasley: @meph1stophelian

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @skarlettmikaelson

Warnings: blood, injuries, death

A/N: OH MY GOD THIS IS SO LONG AND BAD— I AM GENUINELY SORRY BUT I HAD TO

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

Lestrange wasn't a good name.

It wasn't a good name in the streets, nor in close-doors, let alone amongst The Order.

That's why I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that they had accepted me— well, maybe 'accepted' was a strong word; they had let me in, reticent, weary, but still they had done it. Plus, after Snape's betrayal and Dumbledore's death, no one would think there was a vacant for a Slytherin and a Lestrange.

It wasn't until I found myself exiting the abandoned Grimauld's Place along with the rest of the volunteers to go to Privet Drive, that it dawned on me; they were short on people.

They were so short on people that the Order would have to swallow my name, my family and my House.

That didn't mean they would quiet down their opinions about me being there.

"I'm gonna say it." Fred announced, taking a spot in the living room's corner while Shacklebolt, Arthur and Lupin searched the place.

"Again?" Fleur groaned.

Fred had already spoken his mind about my presence before we reached Potter's house.

His and George's shocked looks had been on me since the very first moment I had walked into the old Black's home, which was understandable; last time they saw me I was joking about joining the death eaters.

Although the shock on their faces had been accompanied by very different emotions on each.

Fred's held reticence. During our school years, he had never liked me; I would dare to say he was scared of me, even.

George's gaze, on the other hand, held hope —maybe even excitement— which was comforting.

In our first year, I had managed to draw George's interest, and for three years he was adamant about Slytherins not being 'all that bad'.

George's friendship was the thread I was hanging on; he was the only thing stopping from taking the easy way and live up to my name.

The thread was cut after he asked his mother to bring me over during Christmas, which ended up in her forbidding him to talk to me. He, being George Weasley, ignored his mom's pleads and twin's scolding and still tried his best to stay close to me, so I did what was right and, at the end of our fifth year, I cut ties with him.

It hurt more than I would dare to admit.

After our drifting apart, I was forced to completely rely on Slytherins. And you see, Slytherins, as 11 year-old George would say, aren't all that bad, but the ones my name attracted were.

They were bad sort —the worst—, and keeping that company around after our sixth year wasn't the best record to have, but Merlin's sake, I was there, I had volunteered— people change.

"Son." His father warned Fred, well aware this wasn't the time, though he obviously wanted to side with him. "Don't start again."

"Someone has yet to tell me why is she here?"

"She has a name." I hissed, unable to stop myself.

"Which is why you shouldn't be here, Lestrange." The name rolled out of his tongue like poison. "She's not one to trust."

"Oi, she's willing to risk her life, isn't she?" George's words seemed to be meant to calm his twin's temper, though his warm eyes did land on mines with a reassuring look.

"Yeah but for whom?" I tried to stay quiet as Moody had asked me too, but Fred was making it quite difficult. "If something goes wrong—"

"Weasley!" Mad-eye's tone was dry as he bursted into the room. "Are you questioning my judgment?" Fred scoffed, but stayed quiet.

"If we're throwing in the surnames, you're gonna wanna know her mum's my auntie." Tonks spoke, folding her arms.

"But you're a Hufflepuff." He was quick to respond, giving me a disgusted look. "She's a Serpent."

"And you're still a mouthful, aren't you?!" I snapped, stepping forward, though Tonks gave me a lazy tug before I could get to Fred.

"Wanna fight, Lestrange?" He had taken a couple of steps in my direction already when George yanked his twins arm.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" He yelled, giving his brother a push. "She's here for Harry! She's helping! What else do you want?!"

"Oh my gosh, Georgie— get over your teen crush already, she's not on our team!" George's knuckles went visibly white, unlike his cheeks, which turned red.

"Are you done making a scene? The three of you." Bill questioned in a calm tone, resting against the window's bench. "I don't fancy the idea either, but we need help, Fred, so shut your mouth because we have things to do."

"Pity, I was enjoying the teen drama." Moody teased before grabbing his flask and the ones who would take the Polyjuice potion moved to stand in line.

"Y/n." George's hand brushed my hand, drawing my attention to him as we stood besides one another. "I'm glad you're here." He whispered with a side smile.

"Missed me much?" I couldn't help but grin back, bumping his arm with mine. I stole a proper look at him and thought I might as well ask before the mission. "So... Teen crush huh?" I wiggled my eyebrows at him, though I could feel my own face flushing.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't fancy George —could someone blame me?—, and the idea of those feelings not being unrequited was very appealing.

He only threw his head back and looked away, the half smile growing wider and more bashful. "We'll talk about it at the Burrow." He assured me, taking the flask with his right hand and squeezing mine with his left.

"If we don't die before that." I was joking, but fear was shaking me to the core.

"We won't." He looked at the potion disgusted and gave me a peeked at me saying, "You have to hear me embarrass myself first." And with a wink, he drank the potion and passed it to me.

Gosh, I couldn't get over the mission to hear him 'embarrass' himself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

The first five minutes were calm, despite all of us being on edge. We kept checking on each other, dreading if we lost sight of someone, that someone would banish.

The storm came when we had to dive into the dark clouds.

Funnily enough, I did think it was a literal storm before entering; oh, what I would have given for it to be a literal storm.

Black, cloaked intruders flew among us, making us divide in the pairs we had been assigned to.

Lupin started casting protegos and hexes to everyone that got too close while I tried to take down as many enemies as possible.

A couple of yelled warnings were heard when both Moody and the real Harry had entered the ambush.

"WATCH OUT!" Tonks screamed, flying past me with Ron at her tail. "REMUS!" She made a signal to her husband "ESCORT!" I got the hint; we were supposed to clear Moody's and Y/n's way so it would confuse our attackers while Tonks and Shacklebolt made sure to get Harry out of there.

"ON MY LEFT!" Lupin shouted over the chaos, changing to my right for me to be by Y/n's side.

"WE'RE FUCKED!" She yelled dropping her flight to dodge an Avada Kedavra.

"WE'LL MANAGE!" I automatically dropped my flight with hers too, which was a bad decision, since we had gotten rid of the protection provided by Lupin, Mad-eye and Bill and Fleur.

Soon enough three death eaters came flying towards us.

"STUPEFY!" another Harry with the voice of Fred passed by us, closely followed by my dad.

"GO BACK UP!" Y/n was quicker than me following my father's instructions; when I did though, I realised the little formation we had going on was gone.

Suddenly, all we could hear were screams; it felt as if someone was missing but I blamed it on everyone flying around like a chicken with its head cut off.

Tonks almost crashed against me on her way down; Ron was nowhere near me, nor Lupin.

We were outnumbered, and instead of moving forward, we were stuck in the grey clouds, trying not to die.

It took me a hot second, a crash against a death eater and a couple of hexes to get to Lupin, and even when I did, it was a hard task to keep track of him.

I had just taken out someone in my way when I caught a glimpse of something my eyes refused to believe.

Snape.

Our bloody professor was trying to kill us.

I felt the need to laugh at the situation.

"GEORGE!" It was Y/n's voice snapping me out of it, although her actions shocked me even more.

Y/n casted a spell on me, pushing my broomstick to the left and consequently making me crash against Lupin and lose balance.

Then something happened, something my mind didn't quite process.

At first it felt like a slap, but the pain stung my side as if someone had sliced me with a blade.

I didn't hear my own cry, nor Lupin's desperate 'help'; I didn't feel his hands struggling to take a firm hold of me, nor my own shakily reaching to my side, searching for an injury I didn't want to find.

A second after that, everything was black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

FRED'S P. O. V.

As soon as my father and I apparated in the fields of our home, I ran into the house. For some unexplainable reason, it felt as if something wasn't right.

A couple of steps into the house were enough for that 'something' to strike me. George had been laid on the settee, barely conscious; blood was covering the side of his face, neck and left shoulder, making his hair and clothes stick to his skin.

I was left speechless at the sight, my eyes welling up while I dragged my feet towards my twin.

"Mad-Eye is dead." Bill's words, despite sounding far away, made the gears in my head turn.

Lupin was quicker than me, though, "I told you we couldn't trust a Lestrange!"

"Remus! we don't know—" Tonks tried to calm him down, just to be cut off by Bill.

"Mad-Eye and Lestrange traveled between us and" he gestured at our wounded brother, "Remus and George." His jaw twitching let me know that he was desperately trying to stay calm. "Mad-Eye is dead and my brother just lost an ear, who is it if not bloody Lestrange, Dora?"

"Bill..." Fleur held onto her fiance's arm in an attempt to ground him.

"Did you see her disapparating?" Tonks's point was logical and hopeful.

George would have sided with her.

My eyes fixed on my wounded twin again. He was as pale as a corpse now, and the absence of his ear was way more noticeable now that my mother had begun to remove the blood.

George would have sided with Tonks because he wanted to trust Y/n, and he couldn't even speak because of that same reason.

Since everyone was arguing, they missed the flash of someone apparating near the front door.

I didn't.

Before I knew it, I was running outside with my wand in hand, Lupin and Bill following me instantly when they realised what I had just seen.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" Y/n's wand flew to my hand even before I could properly see her.

My rushed march came to a halt when I was a couple of feet away from her, making Bill bump into me; she was as pale as George, maybe more.

She took a seemingly calm, deep breath before attempting to walk.

Luckily, I saw the pools of blood on her shirt and stepped to reach her before she could touch the ground.

"Oh my..." Lupin covered his mouth with both his hands and Bill stood frozen at the sight of the girl in my arms. "MOLLY!!" my old professor yelled at the top of his lungs, going as livid as me.

We shouldn't talk on impulse, I told myself, rushing into the kitchen with Y/n in my arms. A series of gasps and regretful whispers broke the silence while I laid her on the dining table.

"Y/n?" George's trembling voice was heartbreaking, and, as my dad forced him to stay on the couch, I prayed the girl in my arms would survive.

"Oh Lord..." My mother muttered, examining her. It wasn't only her shirt stained with blood; her left leg and arm were too. "Oh dear..."

"She took the blow." Lupin ran his hands through his hair, understandably stressed. After a couple of seconds, her turned to my dad and commanded, "Get him up. Quick— go get him up." His eyes stared right into my soul and I dreaded the worst, but still obeyed and helped my dad drag George to the dining table.

I heard Lupin telling Bill something about Sectumsempra, and my heart sunk.

She took the blow.

"No..." George's murmur was close to a cry, but it was enough for Y/n's eyes to snap open.

"George." tears were effortlessly streaming down her cheeks at the sight of him. "You're... A-alive..."

"Please stay" My brother fell on his knees, reaching for Y/n's bloody hand with his own. We all looked away to give them some kind of intimacy, except from my mother, who was still trying to fix the poor girl.

I heard them both whispering sweet nothings with shattered voices until only one of them died out. I looked over to Tonks, whose eyes were gleaming with tears, and then to Lupin.

I couldn't bring myself to look at George.

After a moment of intense sobbing, my dad managed to pull my twin away from the corpse, and we carried him back to the settee.

I stayed with him the night, holding his hand and assuring him it was not his fault, but I knew my words would have little effect on his state; after all, he had been in love with Y/n for years.

All those years he had spent trying to convince all of us that Y/n was a good person, that we should give her a chance; all those years begging our mother to bring her over because she wanted to see our home.

Now her body was lying on our kitchen and I knew none of us would forgive ourselves for misjudging her.

READER'S P. O. V.

"Nervous?" A tall, redheaded kid appeared besides me; I supposed he didn't know my name by the warmth and curiosity with which his eyes stared at me.

"Aren't we all?" I replied with an anxious laugh.

He seemed to think for a moment before nodding. "Fair point, though I'll probably go into Gryffindor." He assured me with a proud smile, causing my head to cast down. "What is it?"

"Oh nothing," I shrugged, aware I would not be able to befriend that sweet boy with warm eyes. "I think I'll be sorted into Slytherin."

"Nonsense!" His intentions had been obviously to reassure me, but when he realised his response only made it worse, he added. "It'd be wicked to have a Slytherin friend, though." My eyes widened at his words; did he just— "I'm George, by the way."

"I'm Y/n."

"That's a very pretty name." Professor Mcgonagall led us into the Great Hall, and before I knew what was happening, George's hand was holding mine. "It'll be fine."

The lighting of the Castle changed once the Great Hall's doors opened; a bright, white light seemed to be coming out of it.

"Wait!" My hand gripped George's before he could leave my side. "Can you hold my hand? I-I'm scared." My voice no longer sounded like a 11 year old.

For some reason I didn't comprehend, my eyes were watery, making the view in front of me blurry.

"Don't be scared, darling." When I turned to George, I didn't see a kid; it was him, in the expensive suit I had seen him mere hours ago. "I'm here."

I just nodded and, swallowing my fear, took a step ahead, and then another one, and another, until I reached the Great Hall.

#harry potter fanfiction #george wealsey x reader #george weasley x y/n #george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley fanfic #george weasley angst #george x y/n #george x reader #george x reader angst #george weasley one shot #the seven potters #deathly hallows #deadly hallows part 1 #hp fic #hp dh

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babymetaldoll · 4 years ago

Text

DIWK - Chapter four: "Hurt"

Words count: 13,7K

The gif is mine ✨

Warnings: Hardcore Spencer trauma. Mention of drug abuse, torture, Criminal Minds usual case triggers. Spoilers of Season 2 E14/15 Criminal Minds.

Summary: An unsub abducts Spencer, and reader blames JJ for it.

A/N: Have you ever wished you were there to save Spencer from Tobias Hankel? I know I have. I know reader wants to... I'm dying to know what you'll think of this chapter! Sorry if it's a little too graphic, writing Spencer's POV of this episode was really hard.

Series Masterlist

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

(Y/N)'s point of view

I remember the day Emily Prentiss arrived. We had a case in Saint Louis. Two serial killers, 'cos it couldn't just be one asshole making everyone miserable. And on top of all, Hotch was confused and upset 'cos he never signed Emily's transfer to the BAU. It was like someone was trying to force her into the team, and we all thought it was weird.

We left the bullpen off to the case and left Prentiss in the office, not knowing if she actually got the job or not. I know Elle and I weren't incredibly close, but it still felt weird to think someone might join the team and try to replace her. It didn't work that way in that job. It didn't feel right at the moment.

There is something I also distinctly remember about that day: Gideon talked to me. And not only that, but he actually trusted my knowledge. We hadn't been on the best terms for a few months, so that approach meant a lot to me.

We were at the police station. Reid and I had been analyzing the letters one of the killers had sent to a journalist to find something that might help us catch him before there were any more victims. That's when JJ and Jason walked in, and he asked about our progress.

- "He only sent this to an individual, which shows he is not confident enough to initiate contact with the masses."- Spencer explained as he projected an image of the letter on the wall.

- "Emotional indicators are analyzed through slants, and you can see the shooter maintains vertical, narrow letter writing, and both are signs of repression"- I said and pointed at the image on the wall- "And the pressure, if you look closely, it's excessively heavy, which shows that he's uptight and can easily overreact."

Gideon looked at me and nodded. It was my cue to keep on talking. For once in a long time, I was feeling approved by him.

- "You got all that from his handwriting?"- JJ asked me, surprised. Reid looked at me from the other side of the room, and I could feel his smile reflecting how proud he was of me.

- "Graphology is an effective and reliable indicator of personality and behavior."

- "But my writing is always different,"- she added, and I nodded. I was waiting for that comment.

- "Yes, because it represents your emotions at the moment, just like your facial expressions parallel the way you are feeling while you are speaking."

- "What else can we know about our unsub from this?"- Gideon asked me.

- "Well, our killer uses simple statements, all first person, like "I won't be ignored," which means he's obviously tired of feeling this way. He may have a job in solitude or one that he feels strips of his identity. His work might require him to wear a uniform, something that shows absolutely no individuality, or he may be overqualified for his menial job and feels that he doesn't get the respect that he necessarily deserves."

I made a pause and waited for his words. I was giving my best, and I swear I was still hoping I could ever get Jason Gideon's blessing.

- "I think we are ready to give a profile,"- he said and nodded.

And damn, that felt good.

When we were back in Quantico, Hotch had a long and clearly awkward conversation with the section chief, Erin Strauss. She was scary. She was clearly trying to get rid of Hotch, questioning his work daily, decisions, and how he managed the team. Why? I have no idea.

It felt she forced him to accept Prentiss into the team. We were one man down after Elle left. Ok, one awesome woman down, so we definitely needed some help. And Emily was a great addition from day one.

We clicked right away. Prentiss was funny, smart, but most of all, she constantly had to prove she deserved to be there. Just like me. Gideon gave her the cold shoulder from day one, and that I could relate. The only difference was that she won him over in a few days, though. I was still trying to win that battle.

Garcia decided we needed a girl's night, and she hosted the first of many "BAU Girl Power get together." Basically, it was us at Penelope's place drinking and talking.

That first night, we updated Prentiss with everything that had happened with Elle. She wanted to know everything about us, what we did, how long we've been on the team, and how we all got along. It was sweet and fresh. After that year in the BAU, I had already learned to enjoy the sweet things in life. Like getting drunk with my work girlfriends.

- "So, does Hotch ever smile?"- Emily asked, and we all laughed at the very same time. Yes, it was getting late, and we weren't as sober as we should have been.

- "He does! he does!"- JJ assured us- "You should see him with his baby."

- "He is a dad?"- Emily was shocked. I was surprised too when I found out Aaron was married and with a baby. The amount of time he spends at work always made me feel he had zero personal life.

- "And has a beautiful wife"- JJ added- "He is always laughing when he is with her and baby Jack."

- "I guess this job can drain the happiness from your day... "- I thought out loud, but before anyone could say anything about my dark and bitter comment, my cell phone rang.

- "Hey honey bunny, everything ok?"- I stood up and walked to the kitchen. I didn't want to interrupt the girl's conversations.

- "Yes, I just wanted to make sure you were drinking enough water between drinks"- I laughed and shook my head. Only Reid could call to say such a thing. He was the sweetest friend on earth.

- "Yes, I am, don't worry. I'm not going to be hungover or drunk tomorrow. I know you are excited about the new exposition."

- "You are gonna love it!"

- "I am sure I will"- and I wasn't kidding. I loved when he dragged me to the Smithsonian or any museum for some nerdy fun.

- "Have fun with the girls."

- "What are you doing, by the way?"

- "Just reading a little, you left your complete Sherlock Holmes collection here, so I'll be solving mysteries while you get drunk."

- "Don't have too much fun without me"- he chuckled and ended the call. I smiled and walked back to the girls looking at me with a funny grin on their faces.

- "Was that your boyfriend?"- Penelope asked me, and I frowned right away.

- "No, it was Reid. He just wanted to confirm we are going to the museum tomorrow."

- "Wait"- Prentiss narrowed her brows and looked at us confused- "Reid ain't your boyfriend?"

JJ and Garcia's laughter was epical, as well as my frown. They nearly gasped for air while Prentiss and I waited until they calmed down.

- "No"- I finally answered- "Reid is not my boyfriend."

- "He is more than that; he is her work husband,"- Penelope clarified, and I turned to her with my mouth wide open, shocked.

- "What the fuck? Reid ain't my work husband. He is my best friend!!"

- "Yes, and you happen to call your best friend "honey bunny," right?"- JJ questioned, just like she had a few months before when we were alone in our room away on a case.

- "Reid is my best friend, and yes, I call all my close friends by weird pet names. You will get one too if you are lucky."

- "But I thought"- Emily continued- "I mean, he looks at you like you are his sun."

- "No, Prentiss, the only coupe in this team is the one between "chocolate thunder" and "baby girl" right here"- I pointed at Garcia, and she just blushed and covered her face.

- "My love for Derek will burn forever with the intensity of a thousand suns. I mean, have you seen that man? he was made by the gods and sent to earth just to give my existence some sense"- we all laughed at those cheesy words, though Pen was serious about them.

- "But, have you ever...?- JJ looked at her and made a pause. We were all looking at every single facial movement or behavior she might show to read her body language."

- "My relationship with my loverman could never be tainted by something as mundane as sex."

- "Like you wouldn't lick honey from that six-pack and ride that thunder."

The words just left my lips, and I blame the buzz. BAU (Y/N) would have never said that. Drunk (Y/N) would, totally.

The girls laughed until tears fell from their eyes, and I just chuckled, honestly happy to make them laugh. I had been more of the real me than I had ever actually been around them in nearly a year.

- "Hello?"- my phone rang again when I was walking out of the bathroom. And this time, it was Paul.

- "Hey babe, what are you doing?"

- "Hey, I'm..."- I looked at the girls in front of me and sighed- "I'm stuck with paperwork"- and they turned to me immediately. I could read the "What the fuck" on their faces.

- "Well, I'm at Rob's in case you feel like dropping by. We are writing a few songs."

- "I'll text you if I finish with this early, but... have fun."

- "Ok, bye"- I hung up and sighed.

- "And that was..."- Prentiss asked, frowning.

- "My boyfriend,"- I explained and grabbed another beer

- "Sure, I could feel the passion,"- Garcia joked, but I just didn't think it was funny.

I knew my relationship with Paul wasn't alright. Actually, things with Paul weren't. Period. We were done, it was apparent, but still, neither of us had said it. That relationship was just a few phone calls every once in a while, only to make small talks. When we were together, we would just watch a movie, eat something, drink a few beers, and that was it. It had been a long time since we had sex or even made out. I don't know why I didn't end it sooner. I guess I was just afraid to do it.

But I let more months pass before I actually did something.

Spencer's point of view

I'm not proud of what happened that year after Prentiss joined the team. I think that year changed me profoundly, and a part of me never fully recovered afterward.

Maybe it had to be that way, and it was something I had to go through to grow up. I guess I'm still trying to make some sense of all the misery I put my friends through. Mostly (Y/N). She was in hell with me.

A few weeks after New Year, we started working on a case. Someone was killing wealthy people in their own homes. At first, we thought there were two unsubs, 'cos one of them called 911 after killing, and you could hear them struggling and arguing. But no, it was just one.

Tobias Hankel was a delusional serial killer. He had split personalities, not two but actually three. His father, the one who tortured me. The archangel Raphael, who was trying to make God's will, killing people. And himself, who wanted to save me, but instead, he nearly destroyed me.

What do I remember about the day he kidnapped me? I remember I was stupid enough to try to catch an unsub alone, just to prove I could take care of myself on the field. Hotch sent me and JJ to talk to Hankel at his house, 'cos apparently, he might have seen the unsub months earlier. But no, he was the unsub, and neither JJ nor me could stop him.

We hid in a barn, and I was so eager to prove I could catch him; I told JJ we had to split up to cover the place. I was counting on Hotch to get there with the team sooner than they did, and before I realized it, I was in the middle of a cornfield, and Hankel was pointing at me with my own gun.

I was sure I was going to die right there. All of Hankel's personalities were struggling inside of him. I couldn't stop thinking about why I thought I could do it on my own? Why had I been a reckless asshole? Was it because I wanted to prove I was an excellent SAA? Because I wanted to impress JJ? Maybe I tried to convince myself I could do the same job my team did. I knew I wasn't the most physical person, but I had a gun. I had been trained to capture killers.

Yes, I was an asshole that day, and I've regretted everything that happened that night many, many times in the following years.

When I woke up, I was tied to a chair, and the archangel Raphael had taken Hankel's mind completely. The room was dark, and it smelled awful. He was burning fish hearts and livers, 'cos he believed it kept the devil away.

I was confused and lost. My head was spinning, and my heart was about to burst into my chest. I knew I could die any second now. Raphael wasn't the one to show mercy. That's what I had learned from all the videos Hankel had uploaded to the web. He had shared with the world every murder they had committed to show the other sinners what was going to happen to them.

- "They believe you can see inside men's minds"- Raphael looked at me with dark eyes, implying he meant Tobias and his father

- "It's not true. I study human behavior."- my voice was shaking. I knew I had never been more scared in my entire life. He took out a gun and showed me one bullet.

- "Do you know what this is? It's God's will."

Things didn't look good for me. He put it in the cylinder of the revolver and spun it. He was going to let my life to luck.

- "You don't have to do this"- I tried to talk him out of it, though I knew it wasn't going to work.

- "No go, sinners, to your God."

And he pressed the trigger.

What went through my mind the seconds that passed between having the gun pointed to my face and realizing I had lived? My mom. All I could think of was how my mom would react to the news of my death. I could never bear to hurt her like that. I couldn't die. I couldn't leave her alone.

I sighed, relieved, and bit my lips not to cry. Raphael looked at me with a blank expression and walked out of the room. I had survived for now.

I struggled with my handcuff, but it was useless. My head was killing me. I could feel the open wound on my head, still dripping blood on my temple and head. I tried to focus on the pain for a few minutes, just to make sure I was awake. It was a nightmare, and keeping myself sane and conscious under those circumstances was nearly impossible.

How was I going to get out of there alive? Did the team know where I was? I had no idea where I had been taken. I had been unconscious the whole way. It was dark, and I couldn't see much around me. I wasn't afraid of that darkness. I was more fearful of the man that left me alone, 'cos he was armed and mentally unstable. Darkness had nothing on him.

I had to focus on the things that kept me sane. The things that made me want to get out of that room alive.

- "My name is Spencer Walter Reid. I'm twenty-five years old, my mother's name is Diana Reid, I was born in Las Vegas, October 28th, 1981."

I closed my eyes and tried to think of all the things that made me happy.

- "I work at the BAU, my best friend's name is (Y/N), and she sits at the desk in front of me. Derek Morgan is the closest I've got to an older brother."

He was. He still is. You have to be close to dead to start seeing things clearly sometimes. Derek was my brother. He treated me like a kid, but a kid brother. He was always teasing me, trying to teach me how to pick up girls, trying to drag me to the gym with him. Derek was a good friend, we were very different, and I knew if we had been classmates in high school, we would probably never have talked. He was a jock, and I was a nerd. But life had brought us together. And now I couldn't think of a better friend than him.

I tried to focus on my happiest memories. My birthday came to mind. The guys had planned a Halloween-themed birthday party at the conference room of the BAU. Of course, Garcia baked a cake and (Y/N) helped her decorate it. It was incredible, 'cos it was covered with tiny gourds and skulls.

- "Frank and Mikey sent you these,"- she announced after everybody had given me their presents. I wide opened my eyes in shock 'cos I had no idea her friends knew it was my birthday or even cared about it.

- "Why?"- I had to ask.

- "'Cos they think you are amazing. They actually wanted to come over to your house and have a few beers tonight."- I opened my mouth to say something, but Derek interrupted me.

- "Pretty boy is gonna get to work hungover again."

- "Shut up"- (Y/N) and I said at the same time, making everybody chuckle. I opened the present her friends had sent me and laughed right away.

- "Lucky Doc"- I read and took out of the bag a Sports Illustrated issue with Lila Archer on the cover. My cheeks turned red immediately.

- "Frank still hasn't overcome that story. I think he will hate you forever"- (Y/N) laughed (along with the rest of the team) and gave me another present.

- "They also sent you this. They said you were going to like the man in black"- it was a Johnny Cash's vinyl- "Frank picked it. He thinks he is some sort of musical psychic that can read people's taste in music."

- "We should get together and have a few beers one of these days. I need to thank them for these."

Gideon looked at me in silence as soon as I said those words. But I didn't care if he disapproved. I was going to be (Y/N)'s friend, whether he liked it or not.

He is the closest I've had to a dad in the latest years. He cares about me, and he tries to make the best of me that he can. Yes, he can be too apprehensive. I think that's a way to put it. But only because he wants me to be the best profiler I can be.

I never thought I would end up working at the BAU. I never thought I would love the job I do as much as I do. Back when I was in college, I thought I would dedicate my life to finding a cure for schizophrenia, but I ended up hunting serial killers across the country.

And though I was about to die, I didn't regret any of the decisions that led me there.

The morning found me shaking, cold, and scared. I was in a small cabin in the woods. Just like the worst and more cliché horror movie ever made. This was my own horror movie.

- "What are you staring at, boy?"- Tobias opened the front door carrying logs for the fire. His voice had changed yet again, so I knew it wasn't the same person I had talked to the night before.

- "You are not Raphael."- I whispered, looking at every movement he did.

- "Do I look like Raphael?"- had I insulted him? I couldn't tell. He turned to the fire, and I took a deep breath, doing my best to stay calm.

- "Thank you for burning those, for keeping us safe."- I said, looking at the fish hearts and livers he was preparing to put on the fire.

- "Don't try to trick me."

- "I would never try to trick you."

- "You are a liar."

- I'm not a liar."- it was hard to stay calm and not start screaming for help or mercy, but I knew that was going to take me nowhere with him.

- "Lying is a sin."

- "I'm not a liar."- he walked closer to me, and sat right in front of me, held my leg up, and grabbed my foot.

- "This will be over quickly if you just confess your sins."

- "I am not a sinner"- I whispered again. He took off my shoe.

- "We are all sinners."- it didn't look good for me, not at all, and I knew I had to talk to him with his words with his beliefs to save my life.

- "The Lord spake unto Moses saying "Speak unto all the congregation of the children of the lord" and say unto them, ye shall be holy, for I, the Lord your God, am holy."

Hankel, this time in the personality of his father, looked at me surprised. I might have done something right, 'cos he stopped moving, and for a second, I thought it was going to be ok.

- "You know Leviticus."

- "I know every word of the bible. I can recite it for you."- but his eyes turned dark again.

- "The devil knows how to read too."

- "I'm not a devil, I'm not a devil2- I repeated, and couldn't stop shaking, 'cos my life on the hands of a sociopath.

- "I'm a man, my name is Spencer Reid, and I have a mother, and I have a father just like you, and they taught me the bible, let me recite the bible."

My voice cracked at the knowledge of what he was going to do. He stood up, still holding my foot. He was going to torture me, he was going to try to break me, and I had to be strong. I didn't know how I would find the strength, but I had to be strong.

- "Time to confess, Spencer Reid"- and without further notice, he slapped a log against my foot, making me scream in pain. It hurt from the tip of my toes until the back of my skull. I hadn't felt that kind of pain, and it was worse knowing he was just getting started. Tears started falling down my cheeks in no time.

- "Confess!"

- "I don't have anything to confess."- I whimpered and closed my eyes, 'cos I knew he was going to continue his torture. And so he did. The pain was excruciating. I was sure I was going to pass out

I tried to go to a happy place in my head, somewhere when I could hide from all that pain. It was too hard, though. It hurt too much. I kept repeating over and over again I wasn't a sinner, begging Hankel for mercy, as he shouted I had to confess.

I made an effort to think about what he might want me to say. What did he want me to confess? Which sins was he talking about? But nothing came to my mind, nothing but the pain and the fear of dying.

(Y/N)'s point of view

The second we reached Hankel's cabin, I started looking for Spencer. I had a horrible feeling about it. Morgan and I headed it to a barn with Prentiss. There was no sign of anyone. It was dark and quiet. Never a good sign.

- "Shit!"- I whispered, staring at three dead dogs and a bath of blood in front of me. There laid the body of another victim that was missing from Hankel's last attack.

- "FBI!!"- JJ shouted suddenly. She was pointing his gun to us, clearly in shock- "Don't move!!"

- "JJ, it's Morgan, (Y/L/N), and Prentiss! Don't shoot"- Derek tried to calm her down, walking towards her- "Are you hurt?"- she lowered the gun and stared at us. You could read the fear and the trauma in her eyes.

- "Tobias Hankel is the unsub,"- she whispered as Prentiss rubbed her arm sweetly, trying to comfort her.

- "Yeah, we know"- I moved towards her too and put my gun back into the holster.

- "And we thought he was just a witness"- we looked around, and JJ pointed at the dead dogs.

- "JJ, where is Reid?"- Derek asked her, but she just continued talking.

- "They completely tore her apart"

- "JJ, look at me,"- I said and held her arm carefully- "Look at me, where's Reid?"- she was shaking, and her voice was cracking. I knew she was making her best effort to pull herself together.

- "We split up. He said he was going to go in the back."

And there it was. That was the reason why I had a bad feeling all along. Derek looked at me and nodded as we read each other's minds. The two of us turned around and ran outside, leaving JJ with Prentiss, waiting for the medical team and ambulance to check on her wounds.

Gideon and Hotch were inside the cabin, looking for Hankel, but there was no one there. And there was no sign of Reid behind the barn either, in the cornfield, or anywhere in the perimeter. Reid was nowhere to be found, and I started losing it little by little. I tried to repeat myself the words Hotch had said many times during my year in the BAU: "when you are out there with the team; your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case." But the case had never included my best friend missing before.

- "Hey, is there any sign of him yet?- I asked the police chief as I reached the ambulance. He was there talking with JJ, making sure she was ok.

- "We got every one of our units on the road. He won't make it far"- I nodded and watched him walk away. I knew he thought I was talking about Hankel, but I actually meant Reid.

I turned to JJ and moved a little closer to her. Her eyes open wide, staring back at me.

- "You can't find Reid?"- I just shook my head and tried to sound as casual as I could, not to freak her out. She was still in shock. I didn't want to make it worse.

- "Not yet"

- "(Y/N)"- Derek held my arm and forced me to walk away from the ambulance.- "Reid followed him into the cornfield. It looks like somebody got dragged."

My heart stopped. Did the psychopath hurt Spencer? Did he kill him? Did he torture him? Was he hurt? Was he alive? Where was he? Derek looked at me, and I nodded. I bit my lips and took a deep breath. Hotch's words were my mantra now: "your mind has to be one hundred percent on the case."

- "Are you sure?"- we turned to the police's chief, overhearing his conversation- "We are on our way now."

- "What's going on?"

- "The sheriff down two towns over, he just gave directions to a man who fit Hankel's descriptions. It's to a motor lodge in fort bend."

- "Let's get Hotch and Gideon"- Derek held my arm and walked with me to the cabin. We had to find Reid, and we had to do it fast.

That was the worst night of my life. The first worst night of my life, to be sincere. I didn't close an eye. I went through every paper, every note, every detail in that cabin, trying to find a clue that could lead us to where Tobias had taken Reid.

I felt someone had ripped my heart from my chest. I had to think straight, and to do it, I had to keep a cold head. But as the hours passed, it became a more demanding and more challenging task to complete. I knew the whole team was suffering, but that didn't ease my pain. And I knew JJ felt guilty, but that didn't stop me from blaming her in my mind. She left him alone. I would have never left Spencer alone on the field.

- "(Y/N), you should try to get some rest."

Derek whispered as he sat on the floor next to me, where I had been sitting for the last half hour, reading Tobias's old diaries. Nothing but fear of his father, mentions of Dilaudid use, and bible transcriptions.

- "I'm ok,"- I answered and didn't even take my eyes from the pages.

- "(Y/N), I mean it"

- "I'm not going to rest if he is out there in the hands of a psychopath, Derek"- I had to bite my lips and shut the fuck up, 'cos if I said one more word, I knew I was going to burst into tears.

Morgan just wrapped an arm around my shoulders and moved me closer to him. That was the first time I let him hug me, and it felt good to know I wasn't alone in my desperation. I knew he loved Reid like a brother, and neither of us was going to stop until we found him.

- "Welcome to our nightmare"- JJ's voice broke the silence we had been into for the last hour when Hotch walked into the cabin with Penelope.

It was morning already. There were still no signs of Reid. Prentiss, Gideon, JJ, and I had been sitting at the table, reading everything we could.

- "His computer is an extension of his brain. I need you to dissect it,"- Gideon whispered to García. You could feel the concern in his voice. She just nodded in shock and turned to Derek, who held her hand and helped her get set up in the computer room.

- "So, nothing new since I left?"- Hotch asked and looked at us. I just shook my head and continued reading.

- "Well, the good thing is the guy documented practically every second of his life"- Prentiss words took me from the pages I was reading. I looked at her and raised an eyebrow. The concept of "good" was poorly used in that phrase.

- "The bad news is, we are still un-piling,"- she added and sighed.

- "From the looks of it, he hasn't left this place in years,"- JJ managed to say. She made her best effort to be useful, but she was in worse shape than everybody else. Yet, that didn't make me feel bad for her. I was mad at her and kept making my best to put it aside, 'cos my head had to be in the case.

- "He knew he could pretend to be looking for a motel and throw us off his trail,"- Emily inferred, but I shook my head as soon as I heard her.

- "No, no, no, it's more than that!"- I shook my head and took a deep breath- "Sheriff's office, 911 calls, every time he engages the police and gets away with it... he reassures himself, God's on his side. Not ours."- I added.

Gideon nodded, and we shared a moment of agreement. He was as worried as I was. I could feel it. I'm not saying the rest of the team wasn't, I'm saying Jason was as fucked up as I was, and I could sense he was having the same trouble I had making sure my head and not my sentiments were into the case.

But if anything happened to Reid, I didn't know what I was capable of doing.

At a certain point, I got sick of reading and not doing anything and decided to look around the house again if we had missed anything. Derek went along. One part of me felt he wanted to stay away from JJ too. Maybe he was as mad as I was about her leaving Reid alone. I know I couldn't blame her, but I did it anyway.

- "Guys!! I think I've got something!"- Derek yelled, and I ran over. He opened a door that led to a basement. I walked right behind him, pointing my gun and my flashlight all over. But there was no sign of Reid.

- "Tobias Hankel!!"- Morgan shouted. Someone was sitting in what looked to be a gigantic freezer- "Tobias!"- but we didn't get any response. I took a step closer and examined carefully.

- "Morgan, I think we just found Hankel's father."

Spencer's point of view

On my second night in that cabin, I met Tobias. The third personality of Hankel walked into the room, carrying what seemed to be a dead deer. He looked as frightened as I was.

- "You need to eat."

- "What's your name?"

- "Tobias."

- "Tobias, who was here before?"

- "Probably my father."

He looked at me up and down, and he immediately understood what he had done to me. It was scary how he could dissociate. Someone with multiple personality disorder is usually unaware of the other personality states and memories when an alter is dominant. In this case, Tobias knew the other personalities but considered them different persons. He didn't think they were all in his head.

- "I'm sorry if he hurt you."

He looked at me like he understood everything I had been going through. Maybe he had been through something similar when his father was alive. Perhaps he had been a victim of Hankel as well, and that's what triggered his psychopathic nature.

He walked over and took out his belt.

- "What are you doing?"- he wrapped it around my arm, and I started begging him to stop.

- "It helps"- he took out of his pocket a needle and a small bottle of what seemed to be some kind of drug.

- "Don't tell my father. He doesn't know they are here."

- "Please, I don't want it, I don't want it, please"- I cried and begged.

- "It helps. I know"- it was the last thing Tobias said before the needle found my vein.

And he was right. It helped. Every single amount of pain I was feeling disappeared. My brain shut down. Somehow, everything was ok. I never had in my entire life felt so good before.

My mind kept flashing memories of when I was a kid. I kept seeing images of the day my father left and how he called my mother crazy.

- "You are weak"- mom spit those words after he refused to take me with him. I know she said it not because she didn't want me with her, but because mom knew she was sick and wanted the best for me. And he refused.

- "I'm not weak."- I whispered as I looked at her smiling back at me.

- "I know, honey."

I don't know how long I was drugged, but when I woke up, Tobias wasn't there with me anymore. It was his father.

And the torture continued.

(Y/N)'s point of view

Gideon was trying to convince me to go out with Prentiss and JJ to see a Narcotics anonymous's contact that might give us more information about Tobias. Emily had found some flyers about it in his room, and it could be the only lead we had to find him and Reid.

- "You need to get out of this house for a while"- he whispered and tapped on my back.

I knew he wasn't the one to be loving or physical with people, less with me. But that moved me. I turned to him and my eyes watered up. I was scared, and I couldn't hide it anymore. The more hours passed, the fewer the chances were to find Spencer safe. Alive.

I felt his arms around me suddenly, holding me tight, trying to keep the pieces of me together. We were alone on the porch, and though I didn't want to fall apart, I couldn't hold it anymore.

Jason didn't say a word. He just hugged me and let me cry for a few minutes. I didn't say anything either. I actually couldn't because I was overwhelmed with everything.

- "Are you ready, (Y/N)?"

Prentiss whispered as she walked over with JJ. I turned my back at them for a second to hide the tears that kept falling down my cheeks. I knew it was a shitty thing to do, 'cos it was obvious I had been sobbing, but they gave me the courtesy of not saying anything.

- "You go, I need (Y/N)'s assistance with some diary entries"- the two of them walked away quietly, and thankfully, didn't argue with Gideon.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and felt his hand on my shoulder one more time.

- "You are doing a fantastic job,"- he said and turned around.

I wish I could tell you that made me feel better, but instead, I just thought I had the duty to bring my friend back home safe.

It had been at least an hour since the girls left. Morgan, Hotch, Gideon, and the police chief were in the living room with me, reading. I sipped my hundredth cup of coffee and re-read the same diary entry for the third time.

- "There's something weird going on here."- I thought out loud and walked towards Gideon

- "You think?"- the police chief turned to me and raised an eyebrow, ironically.

- "No, seriously, check this out. This journal is filled with religious ramblings. He notated hour by hour: "November 15th, 3:17, if ye offer a sacrifice of peace offering unto the Lord, ye shall offer it at your own will", and it goes on and on: 5:04, 7:41, 10:22, 1:42."

I made a short pause and looked at Gideon and Hotch. They didn't get where I was going.

- "But then, it goes blank for days."

- "Maybe he got sick of writing"- I seriously hated that police chief.

- "I think I got it"- Hotch whispered- "Journal entry: "December 6th. Father is sick. He wants me to put him down. I say thou shalt not kill. He said, honor thy father. Must pray for guidance."

- "So he kills his father as an act of mercy?"- Gideon asked, knowing the answer.

- "This is two months ago. Tobias Hankel's father had been dead for four months already."

- "That's exactly it"- I murmured, thinking Tobias Hankel was way more fucked up than we thought.

- "Look at the floor"- Derek pointed at a chair and moved it- "These scuffs marks are fresh. It's like two people were pushing the chairs constantly, trying to fight for control."

- "So?"- I swear to God, that chief was driving me insane.

- "This journal matches Charles Hankel's handwriting, but it was written after he died"- I explained. Still, it felt he wasn't following me.

- "What do you mean?"

- "Upstairs, Tobias' bedroom got junk piled from floor to ceiling, but the other bedroom could pass a military inspection."

- "So, are you telling me one of Tobias' personalities was his father?"

Apparently, I had to draw a picture so the chief would get it. Fortunately, Gideon continued explaining the whole problem before I lost what was left of my patience.

- "Well, Tobias was raised with a strict religious code, black and white, right and wrong. When his father asked Tobias to kill him, something had to give."

- "His brain couldn't handle the moral contradiction, so he split into two personalities to keep his father alive."

Hotch tried to put it most easy and simple words possible.

- "So, who is Raphael?"

- "My guess, he is a mediator between the two"- Gideon nodded at my words and sighed.

- "Angels have no human emotions, live or die. They don't care, as long it's God's will."

- "We need to start profiling Tobias' father. He may be the one who chose where to take Reid."

Finally, I felt we were going somewhere.

When Emily and JJ came back, they gave us the news. Tobias was addicted to Dilaudid, which explained the fracture in his mind, and how he lived with three distinct personalities.

The police chief announced a computer store robbery, giving us some hopes that Tobias would use them to track him down.

- "Guys!! Guys!! get in here!!- I heard Derek shouting and I ran to the computer room. I felt sick in the stomach in less than a second. There he was, Spencer. My Spencer Walter Reid, tied to a chair, bleeding, shoeless. Clearly tortured.

- "He's been beating,"- I whispered, feeling my eyes water up. I would have given anything to be there instead of him.

- "Can you track him?!"- JJ yelled by my side, and I nearly smacked her. That's how sensitive I was feeling.

- "Hankel's only streaming this to his home computer."- Garcia whispered. And my heart dropped with those words.

That wasn't what I was supposed to hear. We were supposed to find him and bring him back safe.

- "This is for us"- Gideon didn't take his eyes from the screen- "He knows we are here."

- "I'm gonna put this guy's head on a stick"- Morgan was so mad I believed him. I wanted to do the same, if worse.

- "I'm gonna kill him myself as soon as we find him,"- I said and felt Aaron's hand on my shoulder as he asked Garcia

- "Why can't you locate him?"

- "He's rerouting to a different IP address every 30 seconds. I can't track him."

It knew it had to be hard if Penelope couldn't find her, but that didn't help. If anything, it made everything worse. I felt powerless. Hankel couldn't be more intelligent than us.

Spencer's point of view

- "Are you ready, boy?"- Hankel pulled my hair and forced me to look at him. I was still as high as fuck, but knew I was about to be tortured again.

- "Ready for what?"

- "My weakling son thinks God gave you to him for a reason"- if the reason was to get me into drugs, then the answer was yes.

Hankel placed a video camera in front of me.

- "Can you really see inside men's minds?"- he asked me and made a pause, pointing to three screens- See these vermin?

It took me a second to realize he was showing me images of real people. He had put cameras in those people's houses. How? When? What kind of sick game did he want me to play with him?

- "Choose one to die. I let you choose one to live."

- "No"- I didn't even think about my answer.

- "I thought you wanted to be some kind of savior."

- "You are a sadist and a psychotic break. You won't stop killing. Your word is not true."

I don't know if it was because of the drugs or because I hadn't eaten or drank any water in too long, but I was somehow resigned and tired of fighting.

- "The other heathens are watching- Hankel announced and pointed at the camera in front of me."

My eyes fixated on the camera right away. My team was watching me. (Y/N) was watching me. I didn't want to make her worry even more. I needed her to know I was ok. I know I wasn't, but I didn't want her to worry about me.

- "Choose a sinner to die, and I'll say the name and address of the person to be saved"- Hankel was sick. It was all a game, and religion was just an excuse to kill.

- "I won't get to choose who gets slaughtered and have you leave their remains behind like a poacher."

Hankel didn't like my answer, 'cos he grabbed me and pulled me up, looking into my eyes, insulted, annoyed, losing his temper.

- "Can you really see into my mind, boy?"

He was honestly scary, and it petrified me to think he could execute me right there, in front of the team, and I could never tell them how much they mean.

- "Can you see I'm not a liar?!"- he insisted. I nearly whimpered but made my best not to break- "Choose one to die and save a life. Otherwise, they are all dead."

He dropped me on the chair and turned around. It was clear he wasn't joking. I took a deep breath and nodded.

- "Alright, I'll choose who lives."

- "They are all the same"

My eyes traveled across all the monitors. It was nearly impossible to pick one person to live, knowing all the other people there would die. Hankel was sick, and I had to set a plan to escape because otherwise, I would end up dead.

- "Far right screen,"- I whispered. He turned around and nodded.

Then, he recited the name and address of the woman on the screen. I prayed for the team to find her before Hankel came after her too.

No. It wasn't Hankel this time.

- "Raphael,"- I whispered, and he nodded. I looked at the screen again. The woman we were watching picked up the phone. She was in her kitchen. He walked around, frowned, and turned to her computer. In a second, she had turned it off. My team had reached her. She was safe, I hoped.

Hankel turned the camera off and looked at me.

- "You've done your part. Now it's my turn."

I knew what that meant. It wasn't good.

He left the cabin, and all I could see were the monitors in front of me. Those people were going to die. They were going to die because I didn't pick them. I killed them. You don't need to pull a trigger to kill someone. I could never forget those words. And this time, they meant more than anytime before. I didn't press a trigger, but I had killed two innocent people. And I actually had to watch them die.

When I saw Rapahel walk into the victims' house, I tried to close my eyes and think of anything else. A part of me kept thinking he wasn't going to kill them. He just wanted to threaten me.

But not. Raphael slaughtered them.

I found myself craving whatever it was that Tobias had given me the night before. The drug in my veins had given me a kind of peace I had never felt. And I never thought I'd have either. The type of peace that can be addictive, 'cos it turns your head off. And God knows, sometimes I needed to turn my head off.

Remembering everything that has ever happened to me, especially all the awful things, wasn't a gift. It was a burden. And whatever it was that Tobias had put in my veins, it had taken that burden from my shoulders, at least for a couple of hours.

Who wouldn't want some more of that peace?

- "Reid!"- Gideon's voice took me from my thoughts. He was sitting right in front of the camera in the victim's house. He was there with Hotch and the police, investigating the crime scene.

- "If you are watching this, you are not responsible for this. You understand me? he is perverting God to justify murder. You are stronger than him. He can not break you."

I know he meant it. But I couldn't believe any of that, not after watching a family get slaughter just because I didn't pick them.

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "I thought you were going to try and get some rest,"- I said as JJ walked to me in silence. I made myself my hundredth cup of coffee, and she just showed up next to me, trying to engage in conversation, I guess.

- "Everybody else is working. I should be too."

- "We can handle it,"- I whispered and refused to look at her. I swear I was trying not to hate her, but it was getting harder and harder with every hour that passed without finding Reid.

- "It's funny, I keep thinking the one thing we need to crack this case is... well... Reid"- she chuckled, nervously and I just looked at her and nodded. I didn't even smile. I didn't move a muscle.

I didn't want to be with her, or anyone, as a matter of fact. And I wasn't going to hide it anymore. So I tried to walk away.

- "You think Reid and I should have stayed together at the barn, don't you?"

I stopped walking and looked at her. You could tell she was having a hard time facing the whole situation, and most of all, you could tell she felt guilty.

That really didn't stop me from being mad at her. I was trying to be the better woman during the investigation, but the uncertainty was getting on my nerves.

- "JJ, go get some rest,"- I tried to answer calmly, but I knew I was looking at her like she was dead to me.

- "I can tell that's what you are thinking, so..."

- "I just wanna get Spencer home safe."

- "But... if I had his back like I was supposed to do, he'd be here now"- and that was enough.

- "JJ, what the fuck do you want from me?"

- "I just...."- she was about to cry, you could tell- "I want someone to tell me the truth."

- "You want the truth? Ok, there you go: I would have never left him alone. None of this would have happened if I had been the one with him out there! 'cos I would never let anyone or anything hurt him!!"

I shouted. All the anger I had been feeling those days was finally getting off my chest. And fuck, it felt good.

- "You fucked it up, JJ, and if something happens to Spencer, I am never going to forgive you, never!"

JJ bit her lips, trying her best not to cry. But I still couldn't feel sorry for her.

- "Is that the truth you were looking for?"

- "(Y/L/N)?"- Hotch stood next to me with the most annoyed look in his eyes.

I knew I was out of line, but this wasn't about work anymore. This was personal. This was Reid we were talking about, and JJ had fucked it up. There was nothing to discuss.

- "What? You sent him with her, now she is here, and he isn't. What else is there to say?"

- "(Y/N)!"- Hotch followed me as I stormed out of the kitchen and out of the cabin- "(Y/N)! stop!"

- "What?!"- and I simply snapped- "Are you gonna suspend me for telling her the truth? Are you going to fire me for losing my shit while working a case!? Fine! I don't care! I don't give a fuck! All I care about right now is that my best friend is missing, and a fucking psychopath has him! That's all I can think of. That's all I've been thinking about for the last two days!"

I was yelling at Hotch. I was yelling at my unit chief. I was fucked. I knew he was going to fire me after that. But I couldn't help it. I was going insane. Tears kept falling from my eyes as I held my cup of coffee tight, holding onto it with my life.

- "(Y/N), we are all worried about Reid."

- "I know you are all worried. I am too, and I'm also afraid and mad and going fucking insane knowing I am standing here not knowing what to do to save him."

- "That doesn't give you the right to treat JJ like this is her fault"- I don't know if he was talking like my unit chief or like a father figure trying to end a fight between two of his kids.

- "Did she stay with Reid?"- I simply replied and looked at Hotch in the eyes- "Did she?"

- "She is not the only one who feels guilty, so do I. And I know I won't forgive myself if anything happens to Reid."

Hotch made a pause and tried to find a way to say what he wanted to say. The door opened, and Gideon walked to us. He knew what was going on, and he didn't say a thing. I was sure he had already heard everything. We weren't actually arguing quietly.

- "We are not getting any closer,"- Aaron finally said.

- "Reid is brilliant. He'll figure out how to survive"- Gideon's words were way more hopeful than my thoughts. In my mind, Reid was too scared to think of a way to escape.

- "You know, I always take advantage of Reid for his brain. But I never actually teach him how to deal with things emotionally."

Hotch whispered, and his words were filled with regret. I was filled with anger and anxiety, and I know the two of them felt the same. But they way better at handling their feelings.

- "Lead by example,"- Jason answered, probably trying to make him feel better.

- "What kind of example is that?"- I simply replied, and both of them stayed in silence.

I don't think my words helped Hotch, but I wasn't trying to do that either. I was just honest. And Hotch's emotional assistance was shit on the field. Even Gideon was better.

- "He'll make it,"- Jason reassured us and nodded- "Now stop arguing and go back to work."

Spencer's point of view

I was glad when Tobias came to me that night with a needle in his hand and put the drug into my vein. I needed some release after watching a family die 'cos I didn't save them.

- "I'm sorry I had to leave"- he excused himself, preparing the drug next to me.

- "You can leave again, and you can take me with you,"- I begged in a soft voice.

- "My father would be angry,"- he replied and didn't even look at me. This time, I didn't even argue when he wrapped the belt around my arm. I was even a little eager he'd do it faster.

- "Not if he can't find us."

- "He always finds me."

- "If you tell me where we are, my friends will come, and they'll save us."

He gave me a look, mixed with horror and resignation. It broke my heart to think for a moment of all the horrors that lead Tobias to be as sick as he was.

- "We can't be saved,"- he simply replied.

- "We can, we can, I promise. If you tell me where we are, I'll save us both."

- "Listen to me. It's not worth fighting."

Somehow, I understood why he said that. I was afraid and shaking but still did my best not to think of all the pain I was in, of the terror that haunted me day and night.

- "Tell me it doesn't make it better- he said and showed me the needle."

I couldn't say no, 'cos he was right. It did. The drugs made his horrible situation bearable. I could understand why someone decided to use something to avoid the pain. I had faced all and each one of the pain and horrors in my life sober. It was time life was a little bit sweeter, in a sick way.

I remembered being twelve. Mom had had one of her episodes the day before, she was in bed, and I woke her up. I walked into her room and opened the curtains. It was already five in the afternoon, and she still refused to get out of bed.

- "The doctor says you need to get out of bed,"- I argued when she repeated she was just resting.

- "I've been reading"

- "He says you need exercise"- she sighed and tried to make a joke.

- "That's because his idea of good literature is Our bodies, ourselves."

- "Well, he is your doctor."

- "He is a neanderthal"- I gave up and started walking out of the room. She just laid in bed and looked at me.

- "Where are you going?"

- "I'm going to see if Jeff wants to play"- Jeff was our next-door neighbor and my only friend growing up.

- "Come here. Let me read to you."

I know Garcia made fun of me when I said my mother used to read me Valentine's sonnets when I was a kid. Most people think I have a weird relationship with mom, but they don't understand what it was like growing up with her. They don't know what it was like for a twelve-year-old boy to finish high school, facing bullies. Handling the pressure of being a kid genius and the fact I had to take care of a schizophrenic mother.

How come I didn't start using drugs earlier?

I remember that afternoon I sat next to my mother, and she made me pick one of the many books she had with her on the bed. I choose Proust. I knew she loved it. I loved it as well.

"For a long time, I used to go to bed early. Sometimes, when I had put out my candle, my eyes would close so quickly that I had not even time to say, "I'm going to sleep."

I can still hear her voice, reading to me. Both of us avoided reality for a while, hiding in the books. I always do it regardless. I hide in the books to forget. I hide in knowledge to avoid acknowledging the real personal issues I have. I hide in my work saving people when no one ever saved me.

I work catching psychopaths when I know I might actually have a mental issue myself. I might end up just like mom, and it frightens me so much; there are many nights I can't even close an eye. If I get sick too, then no one will take care of her. I am the only one in her life. And she is the only one in mine.

She and (Y/N), but there is no way my best friend would ever take care of me if I got sick. Not because she wouldn't want to do it, but because I would never let her. I don't want to be a burden in her life. And she would hate me, I know. And I could never live in a world where (Y/N) hates me. Not then, not now.

(Y/N). She is the best thing that happened to me in the BAU. Yes, I had a family with my team, but she was different. She was my life. She was the reason why I smiled. She was the one person that made me feel I was important to someone. I knew the rest of my friend loved me, but I loved her.

That was it. I loved (Y/N). And I was scared I was never going to see her again.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I was standing next to Penelope. She kept trying to force me to eat. She knew I was living on coffee, but I just couldn't swallow anything. She held my hand as the two of us stared at the screens, hopefully waiting for Hankel to make contact again.

- "Any more signs of Reid?"- JJ walked over to us slowly and looked at me, afraid I might snap on her again. I just shook my head and sighed, doing my best to be nice to her.

- "He just posted the last murder online."

- "It had over 17 thousand hits in the first twenty minutes,"- Penelope added, and her voice was so full of revulsion. It was clear she couldn't handle the horror in the human mind.

- "I want to see it,"- JJ said, and I frowned, confused.

- "No, you don't,"- Garcia answered and looked at me- "Come on, munchkin, just eat one cookie, please."

- "Don't tell me what I want and don't want!"- JJ's tone shocked us both. She was severe and angry. She was rude at Penelope, and for a second, I almost snapped again.

- "If I can't watch this..."- JJ whispered and glued her eyes on the screen- "I have no business being in the field."

She looked at me when she was done talking, and for once during those awful days, I felt some kind of compassion for her. She had to be feeling like shit, no doubt, and no matter how mad I was at her, she was still my friend, and I didn't want her to suffer either.

- "JJ, it's not a competition,"- I tried to say in the softest voice possible.

- "I... I need to see it."

- "If you stop being affected by things, you lose parts of yourself, you know."

It was somehow ironic that I was the one saying those things. Me of all people in that team. Me, the one who was afraid the most of losing herself in work.

- "Show me"- she finally looked at Garcia, ignoring my words, and Penelope pleased her. She pushed play and simply said

- "I won't watch this with you."

García held my hand, walking me out of the room, leaving JJ alone in the room. She sighed and wiped the tears that started falling down her eyes.

- "I don't know how you do it either"- she whispered- "I don't know how you watch those things every day and don't go insane."

- "If it makes you feel better, I don't know how I do either, and it scared me to think my heart might be numbing with each case we solve. With every psychopath we catch."

- "We are gonna find him"- she assured me and held my hands tight- "We are bringing him home safe, I swear."

- "Let's go find Gideon,"- I said, nodding at her words- "He needs to know Tobias posted the last murder."

Jason was mad, beyond furious. He was losing it. Derek and Prentiss kept trying to crack Hankel and discover where he had taken Reid. Meanwhile, Garcia, Gideon, and I made our best to take the video of the murder from the web.

- "I have a list of everyone from the file-sharing chain. I could send out a mass warning that the video is actually a virus,"- Garcia said and started typing as fast as possible. I just stared at the screen, waiting for something, anything to happen.

But I wasn't waiting for what came next.

- "Confess your sins"- Hankel's voice made me jump, and the sight of Reid, still tied to that chair, bleeding, and being tortured, broke my heart again.

- "Confess!!"- that sick psychopath shouted and hit him.

- "I haven't done anything,"- Spencer sobbed, but it was useless. Hankel kept punching him, over and over again, even when my best friend begged for mercy.

I felt Jason hold my hand as I was holding Garcia's. The three of us felt powerless, useless, angry, and scared, all at the same time. I couldn't bear to watch Reid being tortured, but at the same time, I was so glad he was still alive.

That until Hankel beat him so hard, he pushed him back in the chair, and Reid started convulsing.

- "He is killing him,"- Penelope cried, and I closed my eyes, biting my lips. Spencer was choking, and that mother fucker just stood there, watching him die.

- "That's the devil vacating your body"- he spit those words as Reid simply passed out. I didn't know if he was dead. I didn't know if he was going to make it. Shit! I didn't know anything.

I let go of Jason and Penelope and stormed out of the room. I was unprofessional, and I knew it, but I knew I would quit if anything happened to Reid. I wasn't going to stay working at the BAU if Spencer died.

- "Are you ok?"- Derek grabbed my arm. I just broke into tears and held him tight. He wrapped his arms around me and let me cry.

- "He's dying! We can't find him!!"- I sobbed against his chest.

- "(Y/N)! (Y/N)!"- I heard Penelope yelling as we all rushed back to the computer room. Hankel was giving CPR to Reid, trying to bring him back to life.

- "Come on, come on, please,"- I begged as I watched him pushing his chest over and over again until Spencer woke up, gasping for air.

- "Thank God!"- Hotch sighed and rubbed his hands against his face. The whole team let out a breath of relief simultaneously, and I kept watching Reid. His opened eyes gave me hope.

- "Wait,"- Prentiss said suddenly- "When was the video of the last murder posted?"

- "Nine thirty"- Penelope answered

- "And when was the time of death?"

- "The 911 call came in at 9:04, and the murder must have been moments later."- Hotch added and didn't even turn to look at Prentiss. We were all still shocked looking at the screen.

- "That's just a 19 minutes difference,"- I said and turned to García- "How long would it take to post that file?"

- "Two or three minutes."

- "Let's call it two,"- I said, getting excited- "You figure a maximum of 60 miles an hour in a residential area. That means Hankel has to be within a 17-mile radius of the crime scene."

For a second, I felt I was rambling facts just like Reid would. It made me miss him even more.

- "García, can we see it on the map?"- Aaron whispered. He was clearly affected, and it also made me feel selfish, knowing I had made a tantrum with the whole team, forgetting they were suffering as well.

- "Call chief Farraday"- Jason commanded as soon as we saw the map of the area on the screen- "I want that area locked down like it's martial law."

JJ stood up and grabbed her phone but didn't make the call. García warned us something was going on with Reid and all of us stared at the screen in silence.

Spencer was on his back on the floor, still tied to a chair. It was clear he wasn't fully conscious of what was happening.

- "You came back to life,"- mother fucker Hankel said, spitting the words in anger.

- "Raphael,"- Reid whispered, recognizing one of his personalities.

- "There can be only one of two reasons."

- "I was given CPR,"- my friend whispered, but it was clear that wasn't one of the psycho's options.

- "There are no accidents. How many members of our team are watching us right now?"

- "Seven."

- "The seven angels who had the seven trumpets prepared themselves to sound. The first sounding followed hail, and they were thrown to the earth."

- "He thinks it's the revelations"- Hotch explained- "The seven archangels versus the seven angels of death."

I didn't know much about religion, but it didn't take a genius to figure out he didn't believe we were the good guys.

- "Tell me who you serve."

- "I serve you,"- Reid answered right away. His voice was a whisper. He had to be exhausted.

- "Then choose one to die"

- "What?!"

- "Your team members, choose one to die"- I knew what he was going to answer at that, and I didn't want to hear it.

- "Kill me,"- he replied immediately, and I closed my eyes, unable to watch what would happen next.

- "You said you weren't one of them."

- "I lied."

- "Your team has seven other members. Tell me who dies."

- "No"- Penelope gasped, and Prentiss cursed. I opened my eyes and nearly fainted. Hankel had a gun pointed against Reid's forehead.

The silence amongst the team was unbearable. Neither of us knew what to do. We were all panicking, praying, desperate.

- "Choose and prove you'll do God's will."

- "No."

Neither of us moved. Neither of us breathed until Hakel pulled the trigger, and no bullet came out. I nearly sigh, but it wasn't over.

- "Choose"- he repeated

- "I won't do it"- Hankel didn't even wait. He just pulled the trigger, and we all jumped at the same time. He was safe again.

- "Life is a choice."

- "No,"- Reid repeated once again. And Hankel pulled the trigger for the third time.

- "Choose"- and for the first time, Spencer made a pause. Was going to pick one of us to die?

- "I choose"- the whispered- "Aaron Hotchner."

Derek and I looked at him, and his pale face didn't move a muscle.

- "He's the classic narcissist. He thinks he's better than everyone else on the team. Genesis 23:4 "Let him not deceive himself, and trust in emptiness, vanity falseness, and futility, for these shall be his recompense."

Hotch stormed out of the room as Hankel pulled the trigger one more time and shot the wall.

I felt I was going to puke. If Reid hadn't picked one of us, he would be dead.

- "For God's will,"- the mother fuck said, as he put another bullet in the gun after removing the casing.

I couldn't look anymore. I followed Gideon and Derek to find Aaron going through all Tobias's diaries on the table.

- "I'm not a narcissist,"- he said as soon as he saw us.

- "Come on. Look, you can't think anything from that"- Jason tried to calm him down, in case he was somehow affected by what Reid had just said on camera- "He is not in his right mind, Hotch."

- "No, stop, stop. Alright, everybody, right now: what's my worst quality?"

He had to be kidding. We all stared at him, muted, lost in that conversation. What was his point? Neither of us said a word. We just looked at each other, confused and awkward.

- "Ok, I'll start. I have no sense of humor."

- "You are a bully,"- JJ added.

- "You can be a drill sergeant sometimes,"- I said, and he nodded.

- "Right."

- "You don't trust women as much as men"- you could feel it in Prentiss's voice. That one was personal.

- "Ok, good. I'm all these things, but none of you said that I ever put myself above the team because I don't, ever. Reid and I argued about the definition of classic narcissism, and he knew that I would remember that. He also quoted Genesis chapter 23, verse 4. Read it."

Hotch gave me the book. He wasn't even breathing as she spoke. He was in a hurry. We were all.

- "I'm a stranger and a sojourner with you. Give me property, forbear a place among you that I may bury my dead of my sight."

- "He wouldn't get it wrong unless it were on purpose."

- "He is in a cemetery."- I said and looked at him. He nodded, and I swear to God, I saw a slight smile on his lips. That smile was hope. We were getting closer.

Spencer's point of view

I took a sip of water. I hadn't drunk in days, and my throat burned. I was still a little lost, still a little off.

- "Tobias, is that you?"- I saw him nod, sitting next to me. He moved the cup of water closer so that I could drink some more.

- "Thank you,"- I whispered and looked at him- You saved my life- he stared down at the ground and finally whispered

- "I'm sorry."

- "Why?"

- "He'll win in the end."

It was sad to see Tobias Hankel's good person locked inside a sick mind that also held a psychopath like his father.

- "Tobias, I need to know something. It's important. Are we in a cemetery?"- and he nodded. I smiled at him and sighed, relieved. Help was coming. My team was coming.

- "I used to come here to get high."

- "I was right."

- "No one bothers you here. I never told anyone about it."

He wrapped his belt around my arm, and I turned to him, still smiling. I didn't know if I were happy I was right or glad I would get high again. Maybe both. Maybe the second 'cos the minute that needle got to my vein, that sweet, sweet release felt like a bath of joy that washed away any pain, regret, or guilt I could have ever felt.

Guilt. I've had my share of that. I remember the day I had my mom admitted to the hospital. She hadn't eaten in days. She wouldn't take care of herself, and they're just so much I could do. I wasn't able to keep her safe from herself, from her mind.

- "What are these men doing here?"- she asked me as I walked with two nurses into the study. She was writing and reading. It was all she did, preparing lectures for classes she didn't have to give, in imaginary campuses.

I stood in front of her and hesitated for a second. It was the hardest thing I had ever done, telling mom I was taking her away from her own house.

- "They are from the hospital. They are here to help,"- I whispered and looked at my mother's confused expression. She was so thin. She looked so sick. I felt so guilty I couldn't do better for her.

- "I don't need help, and you can't be here without permission, tell them, Spencer."

She looked down at her books again and tried to continue writing. I took a deep breath, I knew I would break her heart, but there was nothing else I could do.

- "I called them"- she looked at me in pain. Deep, honest pain. Like I had just shattered her heart. Which I had done.

- "Spencer"- she simply whispered and stared into my eyes, begging for an explanation. I was trying my best not to cry. I had a whole speech prepared. I was going to tell her how much I loved her. I was going to explain to her how good it was for her to be in a place where someone could continuously take care of her. I had facts and statistics, but all I managed to say was:

- "I'm doing this for you."

And I felt like a liar. 'Cos, there was a part of me that was doing it for myself too.

- "This isn't legal"- she shook her head in shock and kept trying to find a good explanation to what was going on.

- "Your son is eighteen, ma'am. He can act in your welfare,"- one of the make nurses explained to her.

- "You need help,"- I said and prayed she could understand. But she just burst into tears and begged.

- "I wanna stay here!"

- "I'm... sorry, mom."

- "Please, these are my things, this is my life..."

Those men took her. They took her from her house and put her in a hospital. No. I put her there. I put my mom in a hospital so I could live my life, 'cos I am selfish and couldn't take care of her anymore.

- "Spencer, please, don't do this to me."

Those were the words that haunted me day and night. And my mother's crying face, begging me not to take her from her own house.

What kind of a son am I? I did that to her. I put her in a mental place 'cos I couldn't deal with her disease anymore. 'Cos I didn't know how to take care of her.

- "What are you sorry for, boy?"- I heard Hankel ask when I woke up. I was muttering, "Sorry" as I came back from my trip.

- "I sent her away."

- "Who."

- "My mom. I couldn't help her."

- "Is that a confession?"- I nodded and looked around, confused. Lost. High- "You know the bible. Exodus 21:17"

- "And he that curseth his father or his mother shall surely be put to death,"- I whispered, scared and full of regret.

I heard him walk towards me. He kneeled and uncuffed me. I didn't know what was happening. Honestly, I was still too high to get what was going on around me.

- "Grab a shovel,"- he commanded and walked outside.

I was too weak to dig fast. I don't know how I was actually moving, but I was digging my own grave. I never thought I would ever end up doing such a thing. It's not something you think about, actually. Not unless you work in the BAU. Here, you start analyzing and considering the way you'll die: 'Cos you could, every day.

- "I ought to bury you alive in there, give you some time to think about what you've done,"- Hankel said and looked at me while I worked, playing with a knife.

- "I know what I've done."

- "Don't talk back to me! Dig!"

I pant and kept moving, very slowly, trying to buy myself some time too. I was sure the team was coming to get me any minute now. I was counting on them, though the more I thought about it, the less worthy of salvation I felt. Maybe I deserved to die after all.

I was almost certain I had seen some lights moving in the back. Flashlights. But it could be my mind playing tricks on me. I was too tired. And still too high, too.

- "Dig faster!"- he commanded me as I moved, losing my breath.

- "I'm not strong enough"- I cried, 'cos I felt like that. Like a failure, a child that aimed to be a grown-up and failed miserably. A bad son. The worst agent. A fake that deserved to die.

- "You are all weak!! Get out of there!"

Hankel took off his coat and left it on the ground. I slowly moved so he could dig for me, but the lights in the back took my attention, and he noticed. As soon as he turned around, I quickly grabbed his coat and reached out for the gun.

- "You've only got one bullet, son,"- he said as he looked at me. And I just pulled the trigger.

I shot him. I killed him. Hankel. Raphael. Tobias. I freed Tobias. Or at least, that is what I wanted to think.

- "Reid!!"- I heard (Y/N) yelling as I crawled to Tobia's body. He was still awake. He was himself.

- "You killed him"- he said, and he was relieved- "Do you think I'll get to see my mom again?"

- "I'm sorry,"- I whispered, and he was gone.

- "Reid!!"

(Y/N) yelled and ran over. She kneeled next to me and held me in her arms. I couldn't move, because for a few seconds, I couldn't believe she was real. She was there.

- "Honey, honey, are you ok? Can you hear me?"- she said, and tears started falling from her eyes- "Honey, it's me."

I just looked at her and hugged her. I hugged her as my life depended on it. There she was, next to me, finally.

- "I thought I was never going to see you again,"- I whispered and sobbed.

The urge to kiss her filled my whole body. I needed to taste her. I needed to show her how much I had needed her those days. But I knew I couldn't.

I didn't want to let her go. I didn't for a few minutes. I just hold onto her for my sanity. She kissed my forehead, cupping my face with both hands.

- "I'm so happy to see you. I'm glad you are ok... let's go to the ambulance, ok?"- I nodded but didn't let her go. I felt I could hold her forever. I wanted to keep her close for as long as I lived.

But the rest of the team gathered around us, and I wanted to thank them too. I needed to thank Hotch. So as soon as I let (Y/N) go, I wrapped my arms around him.

- "You alright?"- he asked me.

- "I knew you'd understand,"- I managed to say with tears falling from my eyes and a knot in my throat.

For a moment, I thought I was never going to see the team again. My family.

JJ held me close and apologized. I knew she felt guilty for leaving me alone, but I was the only one culpable for what had happened. I wanted to prove myself, and all I managed to do was prove I was a fool. A useless SSA.

- "It's alright, it wasn't your fault,"- I said and did my best to smile at her. But I know I failed. Gideon grabbed my arm and nodded.

- "Let's get you out of here."

- "Please,"- I whispered before we started walking- "Can I have a second alone?"- he looked at me and nodded, looking at Tobias' body lying by our side. He walked away, and I kneeled next to my capturer.

But instead of paying my respects, instead of cursing. Instead of anything, I took the Dilaudid bottles from his pocket and put them into mine.

And that's how the real hell started.

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @svveet-peas @muffin-cup @shilohpug

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962

–

Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: May 5th, 2021

#Spencer Reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfic #babymetaldoll writes #cm fanfic #criminal minds fanfic #Emily prentiss #Aaron Hotchner #jennifer jareau #derek morgan #penelope garcia #emily prentiss #babymetaldoll edits #criminal minds fanfiction #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction

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downwiththemutantnjnjaturtles · 4 years ago

Text

We Met Within This Screen [chapt. 7]

[Donnie x reader]

chapter 6 here

"Nothing gets past me, especially not you and your nervous habits, Donatello," Splinter's voice bounced around Donnie's head.

The brothers all looked at each other incredulously, Donnie's anxiousness replaced by complete bafflement. Everyone was wondering the same thing: How did he know?

"You wonder how I knew," Splinter said pointedly, "as if you four are any good at keeping a secret."

They waited for him to go on, but instead there was another uncomfortable pause, Splinter assumedly expecting them to say something. It was Mikey who finally broke the silence. "Are you gonna, like...tell us what we did wrong? How you knew? So next you can't—"

Splinter scoffed and brought his staff down on the youngest's foot. Mikey yelped, bouncing away on one leg. "Teach you how to lie? I have taught you many skills, but one that will always elude you is how to keep something from me. Parents have a sixth sense, you know." He turned to Donnie, regarding the rest of them with a dismissive wave of his hand, "You three, to your rooms. Come to the dojo with me, Donatello."

The three were quick to scatter, Mikey whining into Raph's ear about being sent to their rooms so early, and Raph huffing that he'd been dragged in too.

Swallowing, Donnie followed behind him a few paces, not sure what to expect but nervous all the same. He was lead in and instructed to sit down on the floor, Splinter settling down in front of him. Donnie's fingers brushed along the ridges of the knuckles of his other hand again and again as he tried to find something to occupy them with.

Resting his palms in his hands, Splinter began to talk, voice less harsh than Donnie had anticipated. "I know that we lead a very isolated life, my son. But you must keep your priorities in perspective. You four need each other, and betraying one another's trust does not help that case."

"I'm sorry, Master Splinter," Donnie apologized and hung his head.

"Perhaps you should apologize to your brothers, just as they should to you."

I did put them on the spot, especially Leo, thought Donnie, considering now that he had put him and Raph in a weird position. They had to choose between ratting on him to Splinter and keeping it under wraps for the sake of not stirring up the pot needlessly. As much as Leo was a stickler for the rules, he didn't want to create dissension between him and Donnie. So, they chose the latter option, and now all four were in trouble with their father.

"Okay. I guess...but, Master Splinter, how did you know?"

"About your secret antics?"

Donnie let out a humorless chortle, feeling a twinge of embarrassment that he had actually thought at some point, he was getting away with anything. "Yeah, it...it wasn't very much of a secret."

Stroking his chin, Splinter plainly said, "It was only a suspicion, until you confirmed it."

That night a few weeks ago when Splinter came to him in his lab. The way he squeaked when he was confronted just prior to them going to talk alone. Why didn't I think of that? It was a classic trick, one their father had deployed quite a few times on them. He'd been baited into giving himself away. None of them could tell when he was bluffing or if he actually knew. Save for Leo, who managed only twice in their time to make heads or tails of it.

"I really walked right into that one," Donnie whimpered under his breath, palms pressing down on his knees.

"You did. But," his tone turned more serious, looking him dead in the eye, "you must fix your mistakes, son."

"How?" asked Donnie softly, searching for his father's guidance, but it would find no purchase. He was hard pressed to find a solution immediately.

Splinter shut his eyes and thought. It was a tricky situation, indeed. He gathered that if anything, this was an excellent lesson for Donnie, as well as the others. Under his own supervision, of course; there wasn't room for any more blundering.

Standing up, he placed his staff under his hand. "I trust that you will find a way. You have a brilliant mind, Donatello. Use it well," he told him, and went to leave the training room.

Donnie was still sat on the floor contemplating Splinter's words, honored yet uneasy at the same time that he was being entrusted to fix things. How, he didn't know. Truly. He was at war with himself trying to balance his logic with his emotions, trying to make the two meet gracefully, but it felt impossible. Whichever road he chose, it was a betrayal to the other. One left behind while the other took the wheel. And thoughtlessly, he blurted out, "What if your heart is telling you something completely different, Sensei? What if everything feels contradictory, and—and like there's no right answer, even though you do have this mind, you just can't seem to…"

Donnie's voice tapered. Slightly surprised, Splinter stopped in his tracks, brows high as he looked back at him, who was so clearly riddled with a deeper kind of conflict. Critically discouraged, but still the sliver of will in those eyes of his. His heart went out to him.

Splinter had known that Donnie was interacting with a human. What he hadn't known was that he was in love with the human.

There was a moment of understanding, and Splinter realized that Donnie could not do this on his own. It reminded him of the times the turtles had all been children, the way Donnie looked to him for wisdom as he grappled with himself. Sighing, Splinter sat back down, this time close to him. Donnie was despondent, reverting to staring at the edge of the mat he sat on. "I know your struggles, my son. It seems like there's a sacrifice no matter what you choose, does it not?"

"I don't want to let you guys down. But, I...you know, I'm sorry, Master Splinter, but you don't understand."

He didn't want to say bluntly that he wanted to think of himself and his needs, unlike usual. He knew Splinter would probably not approve of that. None of them had much of a chance to make a selfish decision, aside from everyday things such tucking into the pizza before it even made it back to the Lair. So far, the number of times he could recall making a consequential choice for the sole purpose of indulging himself, was an astounding zero.

"What makes you think I would not understand?" questioned Splinter, and Donnie regretted that he'd said it. He didn't miss how Donnie looked to be becoming mildly sour (among other things), though not at him specifically.

It was then Donnie clammed up, shut down the conversation, he was not going to say it. "It" being what he assumed Splinter wasn't privy to, that he had undoubtedly fallen hard for his friend. But knowing his father, he could totally have had a clue. Splinter didn't always need the details to make an assessment when it came to his sons, whom he knew all too well.

Letting out a crestfallen huff, Donnie rested his chin on his knee, arm obstructing the better half of his face. "It doesn't matter," he mumbled.

Splinter stayed quiet. He didn't want to drive Donnie off—not when he was in such a turmoil. The atmosphere changed to a cold one. Donnie didn't acknowledge him until he put his hand on his forearm, giving it a gentle squeeze and saying, "I will tell you again: I trust that you will figure it out."

What if I make the wrong decision?

"For all of our sakes, I hope you're right, Sensei," Donnie responded. Splinter smiled and got up, prepared to leave the matter at that until any further updates. Until the phone in Donnie's back pocket began to vibrate out of the blue. He wanted to answer, but what, at that point? What should he say?

A minute went by of more persistent vibrating, and Splinter's ear twitched, certain he knew who it was. He was disappointed with the carelessness that had brought them to that moment, but what was done was done. None knew if the girl had any suspicions. "Are you going to answer it?" he asked, sort of prompting him to pick the phone up.

"May I?" Donnie thought he might have sounded a little eager.

Splinter let out a calm hum and motioned for him to do it. Donnie lifted his finger to press accept, but Splinter interrupted firmly, "Speaker, Donatello."

Eyes flitting to Splinter, he accepted the call and reluctantly turned on the speaker.

"Bo, what was all of that earlier, dude? You had me worried sick!" spoke [y/n], more concerned than angry (which Donnie was somewhat relieved about), but he sunk down sheepishly upon seeing the look on his father's face. He gave Donnie a questionable glance at the word "Bo", as he wasn't aware of the details. Donnie wasn't about to correct her right now.

"I–...hey, [y/n]," he said, forcing himself to turn to the side so he wouldn't have to look at Splinter. The eyes on him made him feel put off to the point he couldn't focus on her voice, but the fact that Splinter was right there, listening in, and both were fixing to find out just what kind of mess they had on their hands. "Believe me when I tell you, you don't want to get caught up in this," he told her, "I can't—"

"Listen," she started, exasperated, "I've heard it before. 'I can't tell you this', and 'I can't tell you that'," she went on, "Be honest with me, Bo; is it that you can't or you just won't?"

Splinter's thoughts were undetermined. Donnie couldn't read anything from his stoic expression.

"It's not that I won't," he rebutted, pitch going up involuntarily, "Why won't you listen to me when I say I can't?"

"Because there's something going on, with you, and I know my eyes weren't just playing tricks on me. I saw something crazy—I heard it, too, when I called you the other day!"

I am so dead. Donnie's stomach did a flip. He couldn't face his father, but behind him, Splinter placed his hand on his face, covering his eyes. He shot Donnie an intimidating glance, and Donnie waved his hands nervously, listening to her go on as he backed up. Pivoting around from the jabs sent to his side by Splinter's staff, he jumped away with his comically long stride, trying to avoid the onslaught while juggling the phone. He muffled a grunf of pain when the cane managed to whack his head.

"Hold on!" he said, and Splinter stopped and narrowed his eyes, the voice on the other end of the phone also going silent. Donnie couldn't regain his composure while being chased around the dojo, so he finally was able to sputter out, "W-what did you see?"

"I was on the balcony, 'Don'. I heard your voice on the phone and saying the same thing from the roof, and saw two giant...turtles! With weapons, fighting what looked like ninjas?! What even is this?" she yelled.

She'd put two and two together. There was no fixing.

Only acceptance.

Blinking, Donnie nearly dropped the phone. Splinter shut his eyes, slowly shook his head, and turned around. The sound of his cane tapping the floor as he walked was the only thing he could hear after he tuned out the speaker.

He was now alone in the dojo, under the light that streamed through the grate above him, standing in the hush.

He turned the speaker off. She, on the other end, was quiet, too, in disbelief. And probably rightfully feeling betrayed, in a way, Donnie thought. The friend she'd come to care for so much turned out to be someone she couldn't have even imagined.

Licking his lips, he put on the most level tone he could and said in a struggle, "You can't tell anyone. I-if you say something, I'll... we'll…"

I could never threaten you, [y/n].

"You'll what?" she asked, voice low.

Then, all the could hear was her breathing. The dojo was completely quiet, the room was large, and there he was, in the middle. Donnie liked smaller spaces. Darker spaces, like his lab. He felt exposed in that moment, even when no one could see him.

"Be in danger," he said in earnest.

There was some rustling, then the sound of wind on her end. He barely heard a sliding door shut.

"Come here," she told him firmly.

His eyes went wide. "What?" he questioned, stupefied.

She sighed, "No more lying, Bo—Don—I don't know. If what we have really matters to you…"

A mix of emotions swirled in him as he waited for her words. She hesitated.

"I'll come," he whispered, finishing her sentence.

"You'll come."

Blowing a breath out from between his lips, and nodded. Sorry, Master Splinter.

He snuck through the Lair to the exit of the sewers.

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thedarkestgreys · 2 years ago

Note

Director’s cut: The kitchen scene in Lexi I from YVOR please!!

the kitchen scene in Lexi I of YVOR be still my heart. Let's talk about it!

// originally Lexi I was going to just be an angsty/smutty one shot, I know I've said that before! but in making the decision to turn it into a more expanded story some details got changed to fit the timeline I was looking to create. Lexi was going to show up after roughly six months of radio silence from Fezco - late October instead of early August.

// the set up in the kitchen was always going to be them on their opposite corners, Lexi beside the fridge and Fez leaning against the island, but Fez's initial softness with Lexi was non-existent. He's definitely pissed at her in both versions, but in the reworked version he's keeping his anger in check for a lot longer - he's just relieved to finally see her even if he's not happy she showed up at his place after midnight. so instead of the slow steady way he walks across that space, he was going to be right in her space as soon as she started to get mouthy.

// "What if I don't want to be safe?" was the OG breaking point - that was the moment Fez was going to give in. since I was planning on making it smutty, it was gonna be like super rushed, pressed against the fridge, no time to take the clothes off sex.

// even after I decided to make it into a full fic - I was still planning on having them kiss in the kitchen that first night. but once I got into the outline I decided against that - I needed them to build up all this tension so it could boil over later, and having them kiss off the top wasn't going to let me succeed in that (sorry it took almost 60k until that happened my bad)

// BUT because I didn't have them kiss in that scene we got Fez pressing Lexi into the counter when he's hard for her. Between all the accusations Lexi is tossing out ("that's the reason you left me on your porch like a fucking dumb, lovesick kid? you didn't want to drag me into this?") and all the things Fez is doing ("but don't fuckin' tell me i don't get to make a choice to keep you safe.") i needed to really indicate just how much Fez still wants her without A) making him say it and B) despite all his choices/actions thus far.

// I totally just got a kick out of them trying to have this really casual conversation while dancing around the elephant in the room at first. fez asking after both rue and cassie made sense - they're two of the most important people in Lexi's life.

// Fezco's response of "Good." after Lexi tells him she fucking hates him right now when he asks her to leave and not show back up to the house hurt me as much as it hurt everyone else I promise. bonus feature:

// Originally in Lexi VI when they talk Post Laurie Meeting when Lexi shows back up at the house after midnight, they were going to have that conversation in the kitchen to parallel Lexi I but then I moved them to Fezco's bedroom because uhhh... we needed to use the bed and THAT wasn't planned in the original outline either.

#fic: your violent overnight rush #iwantthemtostay #thanks for the great question the lexi i kitchen scene remains my favorite

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neoloves · 4 years ago

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— 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐧𝐨 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧.

| 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 | The second part to 'Oikawa, Tsukishima and Akaashi comparing you to their ex'

Part 1 can be found here ♡

| 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | Oikawa Tooru, Akaashi Keiji and Tsukishima Kei

| 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬) | swearing

| 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝.𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 1.6k

| 𝐚𝐭𝐡.𝐭𝐱𝐭 | I'm not even gonna front, I wanted to do the part 2 angsty, but I didn't 🧍🏻‍♀️ happy endings for everyone! ✨ damn why this so long for

(also I just realized 'how to say sorry' by middle school is the perfect song to listen to when reading this 👁️👁️)

「 Oikawa 」

Oikawa slaps himself one more time, his vision was getting blurry, his eyes searching for one person, that one person that's put up with all his bullshit and loved him thoroughly. "Fucking hell Oikawa, can you focus a little bit more?!" Iwaizumi yells at him, they lost the first set, all because Oikawa couldn't find you at the bleachers.

"Oh I'd love to, but you see Y/N-" Iwaizumi cuts him off, "Y/N didn't come today because she's still hurt you ass! Now get your head back into the game," Iwaizumi sends him one last glare. Oikawa scoffs, you were his lucky charm, whenever you were there to watch his games he was more motivated to win but without you, it's almost like it's not worth it.

Even after all of the things Oikawa said, you couldn't help but watch his games, it felt like a routine for you. The game finished with Aoba Johsai winning, the gap wasn't big but they won and that's all that matters. You quickly made your way out of the gym but someone's hand stopped you from doing so, looking up you see Iwaizumi. He was the one that ran after you instead of your boyfriend, he helped you calm down during that time, "Y/N can we.. talk?" He asked.

Looking around, you didn't see Oikawa anywhere so you agreed. Walking just outside the gym, there he stood, the moonlight was shining down on him so beautifully, fuck. "Y/N, please have a listen to what he says, he's been a wreck these days.." Iwaizumi says, offering you a gentle smile before leaving you two. "So.. what did you want to talk about? That you wanted to break up? That you found someone that's way better than me? Someon-"

"No! No one is better than you! No one can ever replace you y/n, so please listen to me. The shit I said before was because I wasn't thinking straight, it was never you, I just- I just thought that you might see the real me, pathetic little athlete and leave one day, I didn't want that to happen.. I'm sorry," Oikawa said, his chest heaving up and down, his pretty hazel eyes had tears flowing down his cheeks.

You couldn't watch Oikawa cry, all you wanted to do was wrap your arms around him and tell him that it was alright. Instead you approached him slowly, taking his hands into yours, "I forgive you Oikawa, but it'll take time for me to put in trust in you," You said, giving him the slightest smile. "T-That's do-able, I'll wait until you're ready again, and I promise to not break your heart again," And he plans to keep that promise.

「 Akaashi 」

Akaashi tells himself that he'll be a better boyfriend, he'll make it up to you. But why can't he send you a single text? Maybe call? No, he wants to apologize in person, the longer he drags this fight out the more he realizes how much of a wreck he really is without you. He starts to ask himself, 'What would y/n do?' or 'Have they eaten yet?'

The last time he's seen you was at the hallways, he's always seeked you out but you always avoided him, the calm and composed Akaashi Keiji, going crazy over you. "How do I even make her listen to me Bokuto? She won't even spare me a glance.." he muttered, Bokuto felt pity for his friend, 'Maybe this is how y/n felt when I ignored her,' he told himself.

"Just walk straight up to her, say that you want to talk and apologize, don't make excuses, say that you're sorry, wholeheartedly," Bokuto says, smiling at him. "Easier said than done," Akaashi sighs, it's the first time he's ever dealt with something like this, but for you, he'll keep trying

He found the perfect opportunity to face you when the teacher had asked Akaashi to help you with some subjects you were failing, you've skipped school for a week prior to the argument. It's been hard to catch up with all the work, so Akaashi was sent to lend you a hand. You were more than surprised when Akaashi comes up to your door step, "Uh.." You said, slamming the door onto his face, but he was quickly to catch it, leaving the door slightly opened.

"Y/N I was sent here by the teacher to help you with school.. and to apologize," He said, hesitantly, opening the door once again. You let Akaashi in, you couldn't tell but Akaashi was nervous as hell, all the words he's rehearsed were forgotten the moment he saw you. He curses himself for hurting you, "Sorry, you were forced to come here to help me," You said, keeping your gaze on the floor. "No, I should be the one apologizing,"

"It was unfair of me, ignoring you and then lashing out like that. I don't know why I did that, but I want to apologize, I never wanted to hurt you, some boyfriend I am," He said, his mind replaying the scene over and over, he can't forget the hurt look on your face. "I'm supposed to protect you, not hurt you, so.. you can decide if you still want me or not, I'll respect your decision," He said, "I– You know I still love you so much Akaashi, of course I want you back, but please, give me time.." You said, your heart feeling way lighter.

"Of course Y/N, I'll give you all the time you need, I'll be waiting," Akaashi smiles, he can wait for a lifetime, maybe even forever just to have you back in his arms.

「 Tsukishima 」

Tsukishima can't help but glance at your seat from time to time, it was empty, it's been empty for a week now. You weren't the type to skip school, but he guesses you have an excuse to not come anymore. How would Tsukishima let you know that he didn't mean all the shit he said? How would he let you know that it's always been you?

Even Yamaguchi started to make up excuses about not being able to hang out, Tsukishima fully knows that Yamaguchi would meet up with you, but he doesn't why. He guesses that it's to console you, but it's making him feel bad. Having his friend comfort you instead of him, but he can't really say much as he's the cause of this. So he'll endure it until he can't anymore, jealousy is an ugly emotion and he knows that fully well.

He's been seeing you and Yamaguchi together more often, sure it tugs at his heartstrings but what the fuck can he do? He's a coward that runs away from emotion and bottles them up until it comes around to bite his ass. That's exactly why that argument between you two happened in the first place, he's been dealing with personal issues with college and his life that he ended up bursting it out on you.

"Nothing I do is ever good enough, fuck," He curses, as he misses another ball. "Are you alright Tsukishima? You're usually not this distracted," His teammate asked, "It's nothing, just tired, let's get back to practice," He replied, not wanting to answer anymore questions. His teammate seemed to have gotten the message and left him alone, "How about we go eat out tonight? My treat," Their captain suggested, "Sorry but I think–" Tsukishima was going to decline but the captain insisted.

So now he was getting dragged to a barbecue house, what Tsukishima wasn't expecting was to see you and Yamaguchi at the same restaurant as he was in. He couldn't turn away, you looked so much happier with Yamaguchi, would it be right to let you go? Should he keep fighting? You sensed someone staring at you for a while now, but when Yamaguchi leaned towards you to whisper, "Tsukishima's here, what do you want to do?"

"Nothing, I'll be perfectly fine," You said, minutes had passed but you've grown more and more uncomfortable with the amount of staring Tsukishima's done. This is so strange even for you, Yamaguchi sensed your uncomfortability and suggested that he walks you home. "Sure, I need to get back home anyway," you answered, Tsukishima was sure as hell that he's not gonna get another chance to talk to you unless he does it now, so he takes it.

"Tsuki?" Yamaguchi said, "Can we talk Y/N.. in private?" He asked, trying not to sound as desperate as possible, you stayed quiet for a couple of seconds but ultimately deciding to hear him out. You two step out of the restaurant, the streetlight flickering above you two. The atmosphere was tense, a little bit awkward, your gaze bounced all over the place, from his trimmed bangs, to his brown long coat, then back to his eyes.

"I'll keep it short, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I was inconsiderate of your feelings and how I didn't think about my words before spewing them out. I'm sorry for making you feel like you weren't enough, cause you were more than enough, and I feel like I should've shown you how much I appreciated you more.. but I couldn't, and I.. I'm sorry," He finished, his eyes unwavering, that was the Tsukishima you knew. His jaw was clenched, most likely to stop himself from crying.

You felt the sincerity from his words, that was more than what you wanted. "Thank you Tsukishima, I accept your apology, but.." Tsukishima was hooked on your words. "I'd like to be treated out for food so that I can see that you're really sorry," You said, obviously joking, but half not really. Tsukishima lets out a small chuckle, there was the y/n he knew. "Of course, pick any place and I'll pick you up tomorrow," Tsukishima said, starting tonight, he'll work hard to be the man you deserve.

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #haikyuu scenarios #hq #haikyuu headcanon #haikyuu oikawa #haikyuu akaashi #haikyuu tsukishima #Tsukishima kei #oikawa tooru #akaashi keiji #akaashi x reader #tsukishima x reader #oikawa x reader

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everyhowlmarksthedead · 4 years ago

Text

❛ FALLING IN LOVE WITH A BIKER ❜

with Obispo ‘Bishop’ Losa.

Request: hermaaaaaana, hello😊 literalmente que llevo veinte minutos pensando en que te puedo preguntar but i think i got it. so if it’s okay for you, i would like to request a headcanon with bishop in which he mets the reader for first time and it’s love at first sight or something like that, only if you are comfortable with it. Thank youuuuuuu💖

BY @aquamento

Word count: about 1.9k

Aurora says: this writing hasn't been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I'm sorry about that!

Gif credits: to my wonderful @sonsofeorl ✨

Masterlist. You can subscribe to my broadcast list, to be notified whenever I post a writing!

“Please… tell me that bike is yours”.

Bishop is stationed in front of the Reyes carnicería, with the rest of his crew at both sides. His eyes are glued on your anatomy, touring the random tattoos all around your arms and enraptured on the way your hips move covered by a pair of black bike shorts. His heart stops when he sees you hanging the meat packet by your teeth, to wear the leather gloves, before keeping your order on the bag of your Harley.

“Fuck”.

Wearing the helmet, while you sit on top of your motorcycle, you raise your eyes feeling strongly stalked. You can't help but chuckle wearing your sunglasses, before turning on the engine. Chewing a mint gun, you pass them away with a funny smirk installed on your face. Probably, they have never seen a girl like you, and you're not actually surprised after seeing how women are in Santo Padre. You have three kinds: uptight, too old or too used. And you look like candy at a school gate. Mayans are the children.

He begs and prays to run into you, riding the city every night at the same hour, around Felipe's carnicería.

He doesn't lose hope for almost one month. But after this much time, he starts to be desperate. Bishop could have memorized your plate, but he was too busy admiring your mere existence.

Taza tried to help him, by using the database statewide using the model of your bike. But there were too many results, with different names of men and women, and none based on Santo Padre.

He has suddenly fallen in love and he doesn't even know your name.

Until he met you again.

Sipping by the straw of your cup of coffee, you're checking some messages of your father. You have forgotten your laptop in Santa Madre and you need it for work, so you're trying to convince him to bring it to your new town.

“(Y/N)”.

Frowning confused by the male hoarse voice, you raise your eyes from the screen, finding a middle-age man with a dense moustache over his smile.

“Do I know you?”

“I'm Obispo. Obispo Losa, but you can call me Bishop”. He offers you a hand, narrowing it with your left one in an awkward move that makes the two of you laugh. “Southpaw?”

“Got a coffee in my right”. You reply shaking your hand.

“I stopped you 'cause I like your bike”.

“Ain't selling”.

“I wasn't trying to buy it, it's just a compliment”. He says wearing his gloves, bowing down his head for a second. “I run the scrapyard, in case you need a rechange, or something”.

“It's good to know it”.

You watch him leaving you there, puckering your lips while you turn slightly, before continuing with your walk.

He was nervous as fuck trying to you, but it looks like that his trap can works on you.

And actually, it does. He has woken up an interest in you. Not because of his kutte, but because the way he had of licking his incisors with the tip of his tongue when you laughed.

These small details not everyone pays attention to.

And you take the bait. His bait.

You didn't have any excuse to visit the scrapyard, so with all the pain squeezing your heart, you hammer a nail in the back tire of your bike. Almost dragging it for one mile, you reach the place. That's going to cost you some bucks, but it's worth it. Anchoring the kickstand close to the office, you follow the rhythmic latin music to flood into a crowded yard. Sounds like a party. Looks like a party. With the hands kept in the back pockets of your shorts, you lean over your tiptoes trying to find the owner.

“Need help, mami?” A mexican accent makes you turn to your left.

“Yeah, 'am looking for… Obispo?” You say wrinkling your nose at the man with long black hair and a cigar on his lips, having a smoke.

“Yo! Prez!” Turning away, the man yells another name you can't understand.

Your orbs find the darkest ones, but what you see instead of what you were expecting provokes you some bitter shivers. On his lap there's an exuberant woman, wearing nothing but a short skirt and a white lace bra, and one of his hands caressing her thigh. Who the fuck is that guy and who the fuck does he think you are? Regretting your decision of coming, you turn over your steps to not continue looking at him, crossing your arms over your chest almost kicking the dust with the tip of your sneakers.

“You came”. He sounds excited, but somewhat nervous.

“Yeah, and now I would prefer to haven't done it”, you think to yourself.

“Yeah, I just… had a problem with a wheel and a nail”. You reply, shrugging your shoulders. “But that guy can attend me, you don't have to. I mean, you were occupied”.

“Is she jealous?”, he thinks to himself.

“I have time for you, querida”.

Wrong words. You're not going to fall again, not after what you have seen.

“I only need a wheel. I will come back tomorrow evening”.

“Don't you want a beer?” He sounds disappointed and a little annoyed, raising a hand over his shoulder to point at the party happening behind him.

“No, thanks”.

Watching you go is painful. A kind of sorrow that he never thought that he could feel.

After telling his brothers what happened, they counsel him to wait till the next day.

But you don't go to the scrapyard. You don't want to see him, even if you know that you have to pick up your bike.

Finally, you come back two days later.

Knocking the metallic door, you walk inside the office. The man who attended you the first time and another with strange hands receive you.

“I came for the black and red Harley”.

“Yeah, mami, give me a second”.

The men disappear from the place, while you take a seat on an old leather couch, crossing one leg above the other; moving it impatiently. But again, you have to take off your eyes from the screen of your phone, hearing his voice calling you.

“The bike is ready”. Obispo says with a fleeting smile appearing on his face.

“Good. How much do I own you?” You ask getting up, trying to not look at him too much and focusing on the bill he offers you.

“Nothing, it's on me”.

“Thanks, but I wanna pay”.

“Well, ain't gonna charge you”. He sentences with a chuckle.

Puckering your lips with a forced smile, you pass him away to step out from the office, looking for your bike.

“Hey, wait”.

“What?”

“She's just a friend”.

You pretend that you don't know what he's talking about, making him snort rubbing the bridge of his nose.

“The girl. In the party. She's just a friend”.

“Bueno, congrats”. You just reply, about to walk away again.

“I was wondering if you would like to hang out one day”. These words stop your legs. “Have some beers, a ride, maybe a dinner. Or a lunch. Whatever”.

He's trying. He's trying to fix up what he fucked up. And you are not sure about what response you can give him back. You want to say yes, but, for what? To end like his friend? Sitting on his lap almost naked, surrounded by drunk bikers?

“Sorry, I ain't your type. Don't lose your time”.

You can't believe what you just said, sounding so rude and proud. Bishop frowns.

“My type? And which is my type?” Now, you have offended him, watching him intertwining his hands under his abdomen. Expecting.

“Cheap makeup to leave marks. Lingerie and short skirts. Laughter when something isn't funny. Work hard to look like a man's trophy… Definitely, I'm not your type. I mean, you must be however you want to be, but… sorry, that's not my game”.

“That isn't my game either”. He replies tilting his neck to the left side for some seconds. “I prefer the ones who call me out when I'm being a pendejo”.

“Mommy issues?” Making fun of him, you raise both eyebrows. He chuckles shaking his head. “Thanks for the wheel”.

You don't need no man, but could God please send to you a normal one?

Bishop feels fucked than ever. Annoyed. Bothered.

He tries to figure out how to make it up to you, but he has never had to do something like that.

And his brothers can't help him either.

So he plays one of his best cards.

Be sincere.

The next time he sees you walking around, he makes to stop the whole crew behind him. Jumping off from his bike, he crosses the road with a slow sprint to not being run over. Rolling your eyes, you don't stop your path. Not even when he reaches you.

“Can you listen to me for a second?”

Placing himself in front of you, the man takes off his sunglasses.

“I'm hurry”.

“One sec—”.

“One”. You just say, counting it about to walk away. A hand around your left wrists holds you.

“Please”.

Hearing him beg to you wasn't on your to-do list for today. Facing him with no gesture on you lets him know that you are granting him a second.

“You're gonna think I'm crazy because I have never fell in love at first sight, but when I saw you the first time I fucking swear that you stole my heart, querida. I have been looking for you for a month. Every night. Same hour. Trying to catch the opportunity of talking to you. And maybe, just maybe, I tried to find you by the model of your bike”. You can't lie. You weren't expecting that confession. “I really felt like shit when I saw you in the scrap. The way your face changed when you saw that girl sat on me. And I'm really sorry”.

You don't have a word to reply. Confused. Overwhelmed by a lot of sensations running through your body.

“I ain't the kind of man who… you know what I'm trying to say. And I didn't mean to offend you”.

He keeps silent, waiting for you to say something.

“This has been more than one second”. You try to joke, a little nervous. And you make him laugh again.

“Listen, I know a place with the best meat in the whole California, and a lot of different sauces to dip in. It's forty minutes away, but we can have a ride together”.

“Sounds good, but… I'm on my way to work”.

“We can go whenever you want”.

Bishop isn't going to give up, and you know it.

“You said you're in a hurry, let me take you to your job and think about it on this ride”.

You finally accept, knowing that he's not going to accept a decline as an answer.

And when he finds out that you work in the hospital, he's totally amazed.

And he earns your number after being so sincere with you.

“Maybe, just maybe, I put the nail on purpose”. You confess then, walking backwards to the entrance, facing him with a smile on your face.

#mayans mc x reader #mayans mc imagine #mayans x reader #bishop losa #bishop losa imagine #bishop losa x reader #obispo losa x reader #obispo losa

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softquietsteadylove · 2 years ago

Note

For the Thenamesh Actor AU.

Both of them shooting a new movie. And they are filming 4 days straight. And Gil has the most challenging, longest and hardest scenes to shoot because of the stunts. So when they take a an hour break Thena is looking for him only to find him exhausted and asleep on the ground leaning against the wall with his lunch on his lap.

Some soft quiet moment with them :)

Everyone was at their breaking point--they were down to the wire on re-shoots and last minute changes. People were exhausted and worried about deadlines and stressed about their jobs. And a lot of the bigger stunts had been left until this late point in the schedule specifically out of worry for the actors.

Really, it was Gil: they couldn't afford to lose any time with him.

The film was so stunt-heavy, so demanding, so action packed. And while it was commendable and would look great, the decision not to use editing to cut around hard stunts and difficult fight scenes did mean frontloading the work on the actual filming of the scenes.

Poor Gil hadn't had a break in days. Not a real break, that was to say. Sure, he got lunch, he got to go home. But his schedule was so demanding that it could hardly be considered rest. He had even stopped going all the way home and simply dragged himself to his trailer for a few hours of power napping between days.

Thena had argued several times, with several people, at this point. It wasn't right to work him this hard--it wasn't humane! They had actual union stunt workers for a reason, didn't they?!

But even with an actual stunt double for Gil, it was minimal coverage at best. Gil was still the one needed for the bulk of the scene, again because of the decision not to rely on editing or shakycam. It was always visibly Gil on the top of some 18-wheeler, or fighting in a train carriage, or wrestling someone in the rain.

"Cut!"

Loud groans were heard as they finally cleared for lunch. Gil dragged himself off the soundstage and down the steps. He looked exhausted, "hey."

"Gil," Thena frowned, skipping right over any light chitchat, walking with him to craft services. "You have to tell them you need a break. I'm worried about you."

He smiled at her, the corners of his eyes crinkling as she put a plate in his hands and started piling up food onto it. "That's sweet, Thena. But it's just a little bit more."

"You said that last week," she frowned at him. Last week was her official wrap, but she kept hovering around just to keep an eye on Gil (although her officially stated reason was in case they needed her in any backgrounds on wide shots or whatever).

"I know," he sighed, fully conceding that she was right as she loaded him up with croissants. "But it really is just a few more scenes. The end is in sight, at least."

"I wish it were a little closer," she scowled.

Gil yawned and rubbed his eye, looking down at the plate she'd made for him and then at her empty hands. "Aren't you gonna have something?"

"You start," she smiled up at him, speaking as soft as a whisper. "I'll be right there."

Gil accepted it easily enough, dragging himself off with a lunch she was pretty sure would knock him right out. He had told her before that buttery, rich pastries tended to have that effect on him.

Thena turned, crossing her arms at whomever was closest (and had the misfortune of wandering too close to her). "How much longer?"

"Th-Thena!" the poor PA startled, flipping through their clipboard.

"This is an insane schedule to keep him on, and you know it," she glared at the poor kid just doing their job. She knew it wasn't their fault, but maybe if she made herself clear enough to them then they would convey it to their director and producers, who might actually have to do something about it if they thought she was airing her complaints to anyone but management.

"W-Well, uh, G-Gilgamesh just has one more scene for today, then-"

"Then find a way to shorten it!" she barked for anyone to hear. She wasn't one for making a scene, but if it got Gil some actual restful sleep she would be enough of a diva to bring the building down. She walked off in search of the actor in question. "Gil?"

He was leaning up against the wall, having decided to plop right down on the floor since he couldn't find his chair (which they had moved to the furthest corner of the studio, the bastards). His plate was in his lap, two and a half croissants eaten and his mouth openly snoring.

Thena sighed, "my poor Gil."

She went over to him, tucking her skirt under her legs as she took a seat, scooching here and there as she judged the distance between them. Once she was satisfied, she moved his paper plate to the floor and pulled his head down to her lap.

Gil happily and immediately turned over in his sleep, cuddling into her as his body desperately tried to recover from its exhaustion.

Thena ignored her embarrassment, letting him press his face into her stomach and rubbing his shoulder gently. He wrapped an arm around her, which she had already anticipated.

She knew how he liked to sleep because of how he would drift off on her shoulder--loaded up with painkillers after he broke his arm.

"Gil, are we-oh."

Thena glared up the poor soul with the misfortune of stumbling upon them. She ran her fingers through Gil's hair. "Turn around. Tell them he's done for the day."

"But-"

"He's done for today," Thena repeated through bared teeth, glaring and just daring them to disturb Gil's sleep at their own risk.

"But who-"

"I do," she cut in, just as cold, just as adamant. "I say: he's done."

They didn't have it in them to argue twice, simply running off to tell whomever needed telling that, according to Thena, Gilgamesh would not be shooting anything else today.

And frankly, she would see how she felt about tomorrow.

"Don't get me fired."

Thena laughed softly, letting him get away with giving her waist a little pinch (just this once). "Like they would ever."

"Y'never know," he mumbled, settling against her again. If he was too tired to even try and get off her then she knew he was really out of it.

"I know," she argued, although it came out as a soft whisper, her fingers still running through his hair. It was so soft. "You sleep."

"Just for a minute," Gil mumbled again as he actively snuggled closer to her.

"Just for a minute," she promised, when in reality she was going to let him lie there and sleep if she had to sit with him all night. They could lock up the studio around her, for all she cared.

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imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl · 4 years ago

Text

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 06 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.4K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

<- Previous part (05)

Next part (07) ->

{Stranger Things Masterlist}

Point of No Return

“(Y/N)! Go get the door!” Your aunt yells from the kitchen. “I'm busy here!”

“Ok!” You turn off the blow dryer, quickly fixing your hair before rushing downstairs. “What are you doing?”

“Grandma's cake.” She answers as you move to open the door. “Who's this?”

“Monica, probably.” You're still speaking when you unlock and pull it open. Your heart skips a beat when you see it isn't Monica. You raise an eyebrow to see him leaning against the door frame, a smile spreading through his lips.

“Honey?”

“It's just Billy, aunt,” you say, raising your voice a little. Pushing him backwards, you close the door behind your back. “What are you doing here, Hargrove?”

“It's our day off. You promised to go to my place to meet Maxine, remember?”

Oh, you completely forgot about that. “I made no such promise.” Crossing your arms, you jump a little when the door is opened again. Turning around, you see your aunt with bright eyes.

“(Y/N), won't you invite your friend in?” Her tone makes you blush.

“Goor morning, Miss Florence. Actually, I'm just here to pick her up.”

“I can't go today, Billy. Diane is baking something nice and–”

“No, no, no. She's going.” Diane cuts you off, grabbing your arm and pulling you inside. “Go change out of your pajamas, honey.”

“But–” She gives you a meaningful look.

“(Y/N), go change.”

Rolling your eyes, you sigh. “I'll be right back,” you tell Billy, ignoring how embarrassed you are, and the smirk on his lips.

You run upstairs, trying not to think too much about where you're going. You were kinda hoping he'd forget about that, but you'll try to keep in mind what Monica said. There's no reason to overthink. When the moment comes to make big decisions, you'll make them. You do enjoy being around Billy, and you do have fun together. The whole feeling you have when you're around him is unlike anything you ever felt before, and some part of you is starting to get addicted to it. On the pool, you have found yourself excited for the lunch break because you'll get to talk to him... It scares you, but as you change into a lilac blouse and jeans, you make up your mind for the day. You'll be with him today, so you'll make the best of it.

After taking one last look in the mirror, you take some money because you remember saying something about pizza. You take a deep breath before leaving the bedroom. But you move backwards abruptly when you see Billy standing outside. “What the hell!” You exclaim, pushing him and closing the door.

“Can't I see your bedroom?”

“No.” You wouldn't mind actually, but you decide to tease him since he came all the way up here without asking.

“Then you won't get to see mine.”

“That's fine by me.” Shrugging your shoulders, you bump into him as you move back downstairs. “I'm going, aunt. See you.”

“Have fun with your boyfriend, honey.”

You freeze by the door, feeling as if Diane just betrayed you. You feel Billy's eyes, burning, and you bet he has that stupid smirk on his face. “He's not my boyfriend,” you shout at her, grabbing Billy's arm and pulling him out.

You're impressed by the fact that he opens the passenger door for you, but since you're still blushing, you avoid his gaze. The short trip to his house is silent as you hope what your aunt said fades away... And you're also memorizing the way there.

Soon enough you're at his front door, and you watch as he unlocks it. “The place used to suck, but I've been trying to fix it, so... Don't mind it. It's not as cool as your house.”

“Uhm...” You mumble, stepping inside and looking around, taking in the place. It's not bad as he described it, it's cozy...

It's Billy's place. You feel weird to be here, as if you're giving a whole new step closer to him. “How many girls have you brought here?” You suddenly need to know if you can allow yourself to feel special.

“One.” He moves to stand before you, holding his index finger up, then slowly pointing it at you.

Taking a deep breath, you step back, smiling. “You brought me here to meet your sister. Where is she?”

“Max!” He yells suddenly, at the top of his lungs and you jump, heart racing.

“What the hell.” You breathe out, slapping his arm playfully. His bare arm. You haven't noticed the sleeveless tattered dark gray shirt that leaves his arms exposed. You have to force yourself to look away, meeting his blue eyes. “Why did you do that?”

“Did I scared you?” He smiles, towering over you.

“Yeah, you did.” You step back again, eager to put some distance between you and him. “Jerk. Go get your sister before I change my mind and go home.”

“She's probably listening to music.” Billy walks away, disappearing in the hall. You're left alone so you walk around, noticing the bench press he has in the middle of the living room. Walking around it, a piece of paper above the TV gets your attention. Taking it, you sigh to read Max's handwriting. “She's not in her room.” Billy says as he comes back, gesturing at the hall.

“Be back in fifteen minutes, shithead.” You read the words out loud to him, showing the paper.

Billy takes it from your hand, rolling his eyes. “I'm gonna kill her.”

“Sorry that you have to stay alone here with me. It must be a true nightmare, Billy Hargrove.” Raising an eyebrow, you smile at his expression. “What about that?” You walk around the bench press, standing behind it and trying to pull the barbell up. The thing doesn't even move, so you try again, using more strength, but nothing happens. “Whoa, this thing is heavy.”

“I work out almost every night, so I just leave it here.”

“That you work out is pretty obvious.” You gesture at his arms and chest.

“Yeah. I'm glad you noticed.” He comes to stand behind you. “Let me just–” He picks the weight up, both his arms around you, keeping you caged between his body and the bar.

“What are you doing?” You ask in a low voice as he starts moving the damn thing, up and down, up and down. “Ok, I'm just a tiny little bit impressed to see you lifting this thing up, but put it down, please.” He knows the effect he has on girls, and he also knows you're not immune to it.

He doesn't say anything, pulling the bar up once again, forcing it a little against your shoulders, pushing you backwards until your back hits his chest. His solid, strong chest. “You're such a jerk, Billy.” Why is your voice so weak? You look at his left arm, how tensed his muscles are. “These things are heavy. Put it down before you drop it and hurt me.” You need to get away from him. Being this close is dangerous, because you feel something coming from the back of your mind, an idea that had never crossed your thoughts before.

“I'd never let anything hurt you.”

You turn your head to the side, just enough to look at him. He's already looking, those blue eyes threatening to drown you. Your eyes fall on his lips, of how close they are. You could easily tiptoe now and find out how his lips would feel on yours. It feels like he knows exactly what you're felling because when he moves the bar to give you more space, you turn around, almost as if you're being pulled towards him, like a magnet.

But you know you shouldn't kiss Billy. It would be a point of no return. That's it, a big decision... But right now, the last thing you want to do is think. You just want to feel, and let these feelings flow out.

When you're face to face with him, you feel the bar on your back, pushing you against his chest, making it impossible to run away. As if you would even if you had the chance. “You know I hate you, right? For doing this.” You whisper, as your arms involuntary move to lay on his chest.

“I'm not–”

“Hey, shitface. I'm back.” A girl's voice drags you out of your numbness, and Billy puts the bar down on the bench.

“That's disgusting.” Someone else says and you step away from Billy, catching your breath and clearing your throat. Max isn't alone. She brought a small army with her, five people, and everyone looks the same age.

“Perfect timing as always, Max,” Billy complains. “(Y/N), this is Maxine, my dipshit sister. And the rest of her gang.”

“The gang that saved your ass, you mean.” One of them says, his voice a little muffled, which makes you giggle a little. “Dustin, nice to meet you.” He steps forward and shakes your hand. “So. Are you Billy's girlfriend?”

“No, I–”

“Ok. These are Lucas, my boyfriend.” Max starts, and you feel Billy sighing when she names the boy. “Will, Mike, Eleven, and Dustin you already met.”

“So these are your saviors,” you say, turning to look at Billy.

“Every single one of them.” He answers.

“If you two aren't dating, why did you bring her here, Billy? Wasn't there a rule about not bringing your flings to the house?” Max mutters, walking past you and to the TV. The others move to seat on the couch and some on the floor.

“(Y/N) is not a fling.” He says, rolling his eyes. You try hard not to smile at what you just heard.

You're a little uncomfortable since Max's friends keep staring as if you're a ghost. Their eyes fly from Billy and back at you, and they even gossip, whispering on each other's ears. “Max, you look like a very smart kid.”

“I am.” She says with a smirk. “Unlike my brother.”

“So, if I make you a question, would you be able to answer real quick?” You smile at her curious face, as you slowly step backwards, closer to the hall and further away from Billy.

“Yes.”

“Billy's room?” You burst out, speaking a fast as you can.

“First door to the right.” She yells, just as fast as you spoke, and you're off, like a lightning bolt because you see Billy moving.

You run through the hall and literally throw yourself on the door, opening it and almost stumbling in. You're laughing when he grabs your wrist, giving up when he notices you're already in. “You got me there, I'll admit.”

It's your time to smirk at him, teasingly, stepping further into his bedroom. “What did you say before? That I wouldn't get to see your room?” As you speak, you start pacing around. His room is more organized then you expected. His bed has a dark red blanket over it, and it looks very comfortable. There are movie posters on the walls and a sound system on his dresser. You move to stand before the mirror he has on the nightstand beside his bed, looking through the colognes he has. “Which one you use?”

“All of them.”

“No, there's one you use more often.” You have the scent vivid in your memory, so you quickly go through the small bottles, bringing them close to my nose. “This one.” You look up, meeting his eyes through the mirror.

“It's my favorite.” He says, moving a little closer.

“Mine too.” Thanks to the proximity, you can smell it, irradiating from his body. It's fresh and strong, very masculine. “I mean... I like it.”

Billy takes the bottle from your hands, opening it. “Here.” He pour some on his index and middle finger, bringing them to your neck, on the soft spot below your left ear, pulling the hair away, and does the same on the other side. You feel the cold liquid spreading through your skin, and the scent surrounds you completely. “Now you smell like me.”

What should you say? Or do? You're frozen, inebriated by the closeness, by the low sound of his breathing. “I...”

“Hey, lovebirds. We're watching a movie.” Max says, and her voice brings you back to Earth. She has such perfect timing to save your ass. “You can either come and watch or stay here and make out. You pick.” And she leaves.

“Movie...” You tell him, catching your breath.

“Did I make you nervous?”

“I just want to watch the movie, Billy.” Grabbing his hand, you pull him towards the living room. “We're watching the movie,” you tell the kids.

“You and you. Move.” Billy gestures at Dustin and Will, who immediately stand up from the cough, giving you and Billy enough space to sit down.

The movie is already starting, and you roll your eyes to feel Billy's arm around your shoulders. You're aware the kids are staring, but you guess they're not used to see Billy like this with a girl. But you try to really focus on the movie, as you slowly relax.

You feel as you move closer to Billy, your legs touching. The movie isn't very good, and you laugh when Billy sigh's out of frustration. The kids seem to like it though.

“Not a very good one, right?” You whisper to him.

“You picked the wrong option, princess.” He snaps back, and you immediately remember what the other option was.

“What makes you think I want to make out with you?” You turn your head to look at him, using all the sassiness you have to cover up the truth. That you want to kiss him so bad, a fact that you just realized today. You've been wanting to kiss him for a while now, but you know how dangerous it would be.

“You think I don't notice when you blush? Or when you start breathing fast? Or when–”

“Shhh.” Someone mutters, and your eyes move back to the TV, abruptly. You feel Billy's chest moving when he laughs.

“I need to know something...” He whispers, and you feel as his arms slide down, encircling your waist and pulling you closer. You can feel his breath on your hair, and whatever is on the TV right now is just a distant blur. “I need to know if you want to kiss me as much as I want to kiss you.”

@chloe-skywalker @dpaccione @tilesandtokens @dreamin-of-dacre

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