#This was all i had time for before the rain came in

[cherry-lala]

Whispers of Memories, Chains of Time

Parings: human-turned-vampire!Remmick x human-turned-vampire!Poc fem reader

Genres: Southern Gothic ,Vampire Romance ,Dark Angst,Supernatural Tragedy, Fluff(..)

Wordcount:14.8k+

Content warning: vampire transformation (non-consensual), blood, emotional manipulation, obsession, toxic romance, grief, PTSD, trauma aftermath, sexual tension, implied sex, body horror, hunting/killing, possessiveness, violence (not glorified), slow descent into monsterhood

A/n: this was a request from @0angel-tears0 , and i truly poured my heart into bringing it to life. i tried to weave in every detail that was asked for, and i hope it resonates with you the way it did with me while writing. thank you for the inspiration—i really hope you enjoy it. And thank you for the support^^

He was on his knees.

Not like a man prayin’, but like one beggin’ the grave to let him stay buried.

“Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it,” Remmick rasped, voice low and cracked, like gravel dragged through honey. His hands hovered near mine, never quite touchin’. “You want me gone, I’ll disappear. You want me dead, well… you know better than most, darlin’. That ain’t never been easy.”

The rain hit the ground like it was tryin’ to drown out the past.

I stood there, silent. Watchin’ the same man who once turned my blood to fire now tremble like he ain’t felt warmth in centuries. His eyes flickered red. Still beautiful. Still dangerous. Still mine—once.

And then the memory came back sharp as bone:

His mouth at my throat.

My scream shatterin’ the quiet.

The taste of betrayal on my tongue before I ever knew what betrayal truly was.

The night he turned me.

The night I stopped bein’ his salvation and became his punishment.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

Remmick's Pov

The smoke from the baker’s chimney curled lazy into the grey mornin’, twistin’ up toward a sky that hadn’t yet made up its mind. Pale, dull, hangin’ low like grief. I shifted the crate on my shoulder, feelin’ the dig of wood through damp wool. My boots were slick with yesterday’s rain, slippin’ now and then on the cobbles that shone like a drunkard’s teeth—wet and crooked.

I passed the butcher, same as always. He gave me a nod stiff as his apron. Behind him, the meat swung on hooks, pink and heavy, lookin’ like saints in some holy place I’d never set foot in. I hated that shop. Too many flies. Too many mouths left open, waitin’ for a prayer that’d never come.

The crate weren’t much—few bottles of oil, sacks of dried lavender, and somethin’ sealed in wax I didn’t bother askin’ after. I just hauled it. Dropped it off with the woman behind the counter who didn’t look me in the eye, and left. No lingerin’. Places that smelled like sickness and sorrow weren’t ones I liked to haunt long.

I’d lived in this village long enough that most folks stopped whisperin’. Didn’t mean they trusted me. Just meant I was another fixture—like a broken fence or an old gate that still held up in a storm. I worked. Didn’t drink myself blind. Didn’t steal. Kept to myself. That was enough for them.

But it weren’t enough for me.

Some days I wondered if I was real at all. Or just a shadow they let move through the fog.

I took the back path out, cuttin’ ‘round the edge of the market square. Didn’t care for crowds. The noise. The eyes.

That’s when I saw her.

Not all at once. Just a flicker first—somethin’ movin’ slow near the trees where the path opened wide. A figure bent low, rearrangin’ a basket. Her movements were deliberate, like the world could wait its turn. Like she had all the time God ever gave.

Her dress was simple, but it carried different. Lighter. Like she came from somewhere the sun hit softer. And her—

Christ.

I don’t know the word for what she was.

Not just beautiful. No.

Marked.

Like the earth itself had touched her, pressed a thumbprint right into her soul, and said: this one.

I should’ve kept walkin’. I didn’t.

She straightened, basket shiftin’ easy on her hip like it belonged there. The light caught her skin, and it weren’t fair, how it looked. Her eyes passed over me once—just a blink—but they didn’t flinch. Didn’t linger.

That’s what did it.

She didn’t look at me like I was strange. Or cursed. Or nothin’. She looked past me. Like she’d seen worse. Lived through more. Like she carried the memory of fire behind her ribs and still breathed easy through the smoke.

And me?

I forgot the path. Forgot the ache in my shoulder and the filth on my hands. Forgot the hinge I was meant to fix, the roof that needed patchin’. Forgot the name I answered to.

She turned.

Walked into the crowd and was gone.

And my chest—quiet near a decade—stirred like somethin’ old had woken up in it.

Somethin’ dangerous.

Somethin’ like hunger.

Or recognition.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

The next time I saw her, it was rainin’.

Not the sort that passed in a hush and vanished clean. No, this was the old kind. The kind that settled in your bones and made the village feel more graveyard than home. Clouds hung low, heavy as guilt. The air smelled like peat, smoke, and wet wool.

I hadn’t planned on cuttin’ through the square. Meant to head straight to the chapel—Father Callahan’d cracked a hinge clean off the sacristy door again, and I’d promised to fix it. Hammer tucked under my coat, hands still black with soot from cleanin’ out the baker’s flue that mornin’. My back ached. My boots were soaked.

And then—

I saw her.

She stood quiet as a shadow in front of the apothecary, tucked beneath the narrow eave that dripped steady at her feet. Her dress was simple, the color of river clay, clingin’ to her like the rain knew better than to touch her skin. A basket sat on the crook of her arm, filled with wild garlic and herbs, and her other hand held a cloth to her lips—like she was keepin’ something back.

A cough. Or a secret.

I oughta have kept walkin’.

But I didn’t.

I stood there like a daft fool in the muck, starin’ at her like the rain could wash the sense back into me.

She looked up.

And this time, she saw me.

Really saw me.

Her eyes—dark as peat, clear as glass—locked with mine. She didn’t flinch. Didn’t look away. Didn’t carry the same weight in her stare that most folks did when they looked my way. There was no pity. No suspicion.

Just stillness.

She wore it like armor.

Like maybe the storm belonged to her.

“You alright there?” I called, my voice louder than I meant over the hiss of rain.

Her gaze dipped for a breath, then came back. She lowered the cloth. “Far as I can be, considerin’,” she said. Her voice was even, lower than I remembered. The words came proper enough, but the sound of her was not local. Something about it curled at the edges. Like she’d learned the language well but carried a different song in her throat.

“You’re not from here,” I said. The words left me before I could think to swallow ‘em.

Her lips twitched, not quite smilin’. “Neither are you.”

She weren’t wrong.

Folk around here called me the outsider. Came in after my brother passed, and I stayed—fixin’ broken fences, sharpenin’ shears, patchin’ roofs after windstorms. I kept to myself. Said little. Answered less. Most folks left me be. Grief has a way of makin’ ghosts of the livin’.

But she—she was no ghost.

She was too solid. Too certain.

“You deal in herbs?” I asked, noddin’ toward her basket.

She glanced down, then back. “Some for trade. Some for me. Depends who’s askin’.”

“Folk here don’t always take kindly to unfamiliar hands mixin’ medicine.”

“They don’t take kindly to much at all,” she said. Her tone didn’t shift. Didn’t get sharp or soft. “But I’m not here to please them.”

My mouth twitched. Could’ve been a smile. Could’ve been a warning.

“They call me Remmick,” I offered, though I don’t know why. She hadn’t asked.

She nodded slow, like she was tuckin’ the name somewhere safe. “I’ve heard of you. Fix things, don’t you?”

I gave a short nod. “Try to.”

She tilted her head, studyin’ me like I was a nail half-driven. “Can you fix what ain’t made of wood or iron?”

I blinked. “Suppose that depends on how broke it is.”

That made her pause. Her eyes lingered, like she was weighin’ my words on a scale only she could read.

“Good answer,” she murmured, and stepped out into the rain.

She moved like dusk—quiet, certain, untouched by the cold. Her shoes sank into the mud, her hair clung to her nape, and still she didn’t flinch. Didn’t falter. Didn’t look back.

Didn’t need to.

I stood there a long while after she’d gone, hammer still clutched in my hand, like I’d forgotten what I was doin’.

Something about her wouldn’t let go.

It wasn’t just her face, though it was a face worth rememberin’.

It was the way she made the world feel like it wasn’t mine anymore.

Like she’d stepped out of some place older than time.

And my soul—fool that it is—reached for her like it already knew the fall was comin’.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

The next time I saw her, I was carryin’ a sack of empty flour tins and cussin’ at the wind. The path out toward the edge of town had turned near to muck from the week’s worth of rain, and the soles of my boots were caked thick with it. I’d been sent by old Mr. Fallon to fetch a bundle of dried thyme and wild caraway for his bread—claimed the flavor wouldn’t be worth spit without it. Gave me a half-torn scrap with the address written in crooked scrawl and waved me off like I didn’t have ten other things to fix today.

I followed the directions, takin’ the narrow road past the blacksmith’s, past the place where the woods leaned too close to the path, until the town itself felt far behind me. When I reached the cottage, it was tucked back in a thicket of elder trees, vines curlin’ up its stone sides like time was tryin’ to reclaim it.

Didn’t seem like the sort of place anybody lived.

But there was smoke risin’ from the chimney, soft and pale.

I knocked on the door. Didn’t expect her to answer.

But she did.

The door creaked open slow, and there she stood. Same earth-toned dress, sleeves rolled up this time, fingers stained green from somethin’ she’d been grinding. Her hair was wrapped back, loose pieces stickin’ to her temple from sweat.

I blinked. She didn’t.

“You here for the baker’s herbs?” she asked, before I could speak.

“Aye,” I said, a little too quick. “Didn’t know it was you who put ‘em together.”

She gave a small shrug, half-turning back into the house. “I make do with what I can. Come on in. It’s dry, at least.”

I hesitated on the threshold.

Then stepped inside.

The cottage smelled like cedar smoke and mint, sharp with somethin’ bitter beneath it—wormwood, maybe, or sorrow. Shelves lined the walls, filled with glass jars and cloth bundles, herbs hangin’ to dry like prayer strings. Light came in soft through the foggy windows, catchin’ on the motes floatin’ in the air.

I watched her move through the space like she belonged to it. Like the walls were built to her shape.

“You live alone out here?” I asked, settin’ the tin sack down by the door.

She nodded without lookin’ back. “Folk don’t visit much. Suits me fine.”

“Bit far from everything, don’t you think?”

Her hands didn’t stop as she tied a bundle of dried leaves with twine. “Distance keeps peace. Or at least quiet.”

I hummed low. “Seems lonely.”

She paused, just a moment. “Lonely’s better than bein’ caged.”

I didn’t have an answer for that.

She turned then, handin’ me the bundle wrapped in cloth. “Here. Tell Fallon I added wild rosemary. He’ll complain, but he’ll use it anyway.”

I took the bundle, our fingers brushin’ again. Brief, but not unremarkable.

“Thank you,” I said. “For this.”

She nodded. Her eyes lingered on mine longer than they should’ve.

“You always this polite, or just when you’re in someone’s home?”

I let a ghost of a smile tug at my mouth. “Only when I’m talkin’ to someone who don’t scare easy.”

She raised an eyebrow, a corner of her lip curlin’. “Good. I don’t trust men who only speak sweet to the meek.”

There was a silence then—an easy one, somehow, but it sat heavy with things unspoken.

“You never gave me your name,” I said, shifting the weight of the herbs in my hands.

She looked down, then back up. “That’s ‘cause I haven’t decided if you’ve earned it.”

And damn me, but I liked the sound of that.

“Well,” I said, stepping back toward the door, “if you ever reckon I have, I’ll be around. Usually fixin’ things folk’ve broken.”

She tilted her head, arms crossed now. “Maybe I’ll break somethin’ just to see if you’ll come.”

The door creaked shut behind me before I could think of somethin’ clever to say.

Outside, the air smelled like wet leaves and woodsmoke. I walked back down the muddy path with her words echoing in my chest—soft as silk, sharp as flint.

And somewhere in the quiet between my heartbeats, I realized I’d be lookin’ for reasons to come back.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

The morning stretched soft and gold over the village, sun filterin’ through a sky still patched with the pale hush of dawn. It’d rained heavy the night before, and now the earth smelled like moss and old stone, like every breath belonged to something older than me.

I took the same path I always did, worn into the hills by habit and need. A leather satchel slung cross my shoulder, tools knockin’ gentle against one another with each step. The hammer I used for roofs, the little brush I used for oilin’ hinges—all packed like I was some saint come to bless broken things.

Only I wasn’t goin’ to the chapel today.

The note had come from the baker, scribbled mess of ink sayin’ one of the herb women needed her ceilin’ patched. Didn’t give a name, just said “the dark-eyed one what don’t smile easy.” I knew then.

Didn’t tell myself that out loud, but my chest said it plain.

Her.

The woman who spoke like secrets. Moved like the rain followed her for warmth. I’d seen her twice now, and still she sat behind my eyes like a prayer I couldn’t finish.

Her cottage sat just beyond the low bend of the road, tucked behind a line of cypress trees with their roots grippin’ the wet soil like they feared bein’ torn up. Ivy climbed the corners of the stone, and a little row of jars lined the windowsill—dried flowers, maybe. Bits of lavender. Or bones.

I knocked soft. Once. Twice. No answer. I knocked again, louder this time, the wood thuddin’ beneath my fist.

“Comin’,” came her voice, muffled but steady.

The door creaked open and there she was, standin’ barefoot on the wood floor with sleeves pushed up to her elbows. Her dress was a muted brown, plain as river mud, but it clung to her like she’d shaped it herself from dusk and silence.

“You’re the one with the leak,” I said, tryin’ to keep my voice level, casual. “I was sent from the bakery to patch it up proper.”

Her eyes flicked down to my satchel, then back to me. “Figured someone would show. Just didn’t think it’d be you.”

I raised a brow. “That a complaint?”

She didn’t smile, but her lips twitched at the corners. “Not yet.”

She stepped aside, lettin’ me in with a tilt of her head. The air inside her cottage was warm—herby, thick with dried thyme and somethin’ sweeter beneath it, like burnt sugar.

“Ceilin’s in the back room,” she said. “It leaks when the rain hits from the east.”

I followed her down the narrow hall, tools shiftin’ with each step. The floor creaked beneath our weight, and the walls held the quiet hum of a lived-in place—one made by hand, not bought with coin.

As I entered the room, I looked up at the corner where the water had left its mark—dark ring bloomin’ like rot in the ceiling. I set my satchel down near the edge of a low table and rolled up my sleeves.

“You don’t strike me as the sort who sends for help,” I said, climbin’ onto the little stool below the leak. “Let alone a village man.”

“I’m not,” she replied, movin’ to the table and startin’ to sort herbs into small bundles. “But I’m also not the sort who lets water make a home where it don’t belong.”

“That so?” I grinned. “Maybe you oughta carve that on a stone outside. Might keep trouble at bay.”

Her hands stilled a moment on the stems before resummin’. “Trouble always finds its way back. Whether you carve warnings or not.”

There was somethin’ in her tone—like she knew the feel of trouble’s hands around her throat and had stopped bein’ afraid of it.

I scraped at the softened wood, lettin’ silence settle between us, comfortable as an old coat.

I was halfway through tightening the last hinge when she spoke again.

“You always this quiet when you work?” she asked, voice soft, but not shy. There was somethin’ in it—like a cat stretchin’ in a sunbeam. Casual. Watchin’.

I glanced down from the stool I’d set beneath her ceiling, my sleeve wet with old rainwater and plaster dust stickin’ to my arms.

“Only when the job’s worth concentratin’ on,” I muttered, brows knit, screwin’ the final nail in. “And when the roof don’t behave.”

She made a small sound—almost a laugh. “Should I apologize on its behalf?”

“If it gives me a bit o’ peace, then aye.”

She leaned her shoulder to the doorframe, arms folded, basket still on the table behind her. The light from the window framed her in pieces—forehead, cheekbone, collarbone. Dust floated between us, and outside, the wind shifted the branches in her little garden.

“You’re better at this than the last fella they sent,” she said after a while. “Didn’t even last long enough to hammer twice before he said the house gave him a bad feelin’.”

“Most things give folk a bad feelin’ when they ain’t lookin’ hard enough,” I answered, setting the hammer down and wiping my hands on my trousers. “Or when they’re daft.”

“And what about you?” she asked, that same not-smile flirtin’ at the corners of her mouth. “You get any feelin’ from this place?”

I turned, finally facing her proper. “Aye,” I said. “That you’re hidin’ somethin’.”

Her expression didn’t change, but her gaze sharpened.

“I mean,” I added, before she could speak, “that you don’t talk much, yet you’ve got books stacked on herbs that don’t grow this side of the sea. Things bundled in your basket most folks wouldn’t know to pick. You knew I’d come back for the ceiling before I even told you I would.”

She tilted her head, lips pressing together. “I listen. I pay attention,” she said simply. “People show who they are even when they don’t mean to.”

“And what have I shown, then?” I asked, stepping down from the stool, slow.

She hesitated only a breath. “That you’re more than you say,” she said. “And you carry your grief like it’s welded to your spine.”

I stopped cold. And for once, I didn’t have somethin’ clever to say. Just stood there, feelin’ the weight of her words settle where they landed—deep.

She walked past me then, to the table, and pulled a small dark glass jar from the corner beside a bound book. Set it in my hands.

“For the cold,” she said. “Rain’ll catch up with you sooner than you think, and you smell like someone who won’t rest long enough to sweat it out.”

I looked down at the jar, then up at her again.

“You trust me not to drop dead drinkin’ this?” I asked, eyebrow cocked.

“If I wanted you dead,” she said plainly, “I’d’ve let the ceiling fall.”

That made me laugh, a dry sound I hadn’t heard in my own throat in some time.

“Fair ‘nough.”

She moved toward the door to open it for me, but I didn’t walk out just yet. Still holdin’ the jar, I looked back at her, searching her face like the name might rise from her skin if I stared long enough.

“You gonna tell me your name, or do I keep callin’ you Moonflower in my head?” I asked, the smirk creepin’ up despite myself.

She blinked at that. “Moonflower?”

“You only bloom at night. Got a scent that lingers. And I reckon you’ll poison a man if he ain’t careful.”

That made her pause. Then, a smile—real this time, curved and quiet.

“Don’t know if I oughta be flattered or offended.”

“Both, maybe.”

She nodded, opening the door wider. “See you next time, then… handyman.”

“Remmick,” I reminded her, steppin’ out into the daylight again.

“I know,” she said, leaning on the frame. “Still deciding if you deserve to be called by it.”

And then she shut the door.

But the air behind me stayed full of her voice. Of rain. And herbs. And somethin’ that hadn’t yet been named.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

The woods had a hush to ’em that day—like even the birds were holdin’ their tongues to listen. Not a drop of rain on the ground, but the air was thick with damp, like the earth’d been cryin’ in secret. I weren’t lookin’ for her. Not exactly. But I took the long path from town anyhow, boots slippin’ over moss and roots, hands deep in my coat like I didn’t care where I was headed.

Truth was, I hadn’t seen her in three days. And it felt like somethin’ gnawin’ at the hollow in my ribs.

I told myself she was off gatherin’ or restin’, that folk like her didn’t owe nothin’ to folk like me. But the stillness where she ought to’ve been—it sat too long in the pit of my chest.

Then I saw her. Perched on a fallen log off the trail, elbow on her knee, chin in her palm. Her basket laid beside her, near empty, just a few stringy greens hangin’ on like stubborn ghosts. The wind played gentle at her scarf, and she looked like she’d been carved outta stillness. A woman built from pause and ache.

“Thought the trees’d gone and swallowed you,” I said, easin’ around the bend with a crooked smile tryin’ to pass as casual.

Her gaze met mine. Slow. Sure. “They tried,” she said. “But I told ’em I still had things to finish.”

A laugh threatened my throat. I let it sit behind my teeth.

“Was beginnin’ to think I imagined you,” I said, shiftin’ my weight through the soft earth. “Like somethin’ dreamt up on a fevered night.”

She looked me over like she could tell I meant it. “You dream often, Remmick?”

“Only when I’ve got somethin’ heavy on the soul.”

She didn’t answer that. Just scooted over and tapped the space beside her.

So I sat.

We let the silence settle between us for a time, let it stretch long and deep. She played with a blade of grass, foldin’ it in half, then again, ’til it split. I watched the way her fingers moved, careful but worn.

“I been thinkin’,” she said after a while, voice quiet but steady. “How a place can be full of people and still feel empty.”

My eyes shifted to her, to the way her jaw set like she’d swallowed too many truths. “This place do that to you?”

She shrugged. Not quite yes, not quite no. Then after a beat, “My home wasn’t kind either. But it was mine. Then it weren’t.”

I didn’t say nothin’. Just let her speak.

“There was a war. Not one with drums and soldiers, but somethin’ quieter. Slower. Took everything soft and left the bones.”

Her fingers stilled. Her face didn’t change, but I saw the weight behind her eyes.

“I ran,” she said. “Kept runnin’. Learned to talk like I belonged. Learned to walk like I wasn’t watchin’ every step.”

“You shouldn’t’ve had to,” I muttered, voice rough. “No one should.”

She looked at me then, like she weren’t expectin’ that.

“Folk back home say runnin’ makes you weak,” she said. “But it’s what saved me.”

I nodded slow. “I ran, too. When my brother died, I packed what little I had and left. Not just the grief, but… the hunger. Crops were failin’. Bellies were empty. We were ghosts by winter.”

She blinked, brows drawin’ together.

“Ireland’s a beautiful place, but she’s cruel when she wants to be. The year before I left, there was rot in the potatoes—black and wet, like somethin’ cursed the fields. Folks buried more kin than crops that year.”

I swallowed.

“I couldn’t stay and starve with the bones of my family.”

She watched me. Didn’t speak. Just watched.

“So I came here,” I went on, voice low. “Thought maybe fixin’ things might fix me, too.”

She tilted her head. “Has it?”

I looked down at my hands. Calloused. Dirty. Then I looked at her.

“I’m still cracked,” I said. “But I don’t feel so hollow when you’re nearby.”

Her lips parted, just a little. Eyes softenin’, like she didn’t know what to do with that.

“You always say things like that?”

“Only when I mean ’em.”

The breeze stirred again. Her scarf lifted and fell.

“You don’t know what I’ve done,” she said, voice low. “What I’ve seen. I’m not made of mercy, Remmick. I’ve got sharp edges.”

“I ain’t afraid of a cut,” I said, leanin’ forward. “Not if it means gettin’ close to somethin’ real.”

She reached into her basket then, pullin’ out a folded cloth with a little vial inside—amber-glass, stoppered with care.

“More, For the rain,” she said. “To keep the cold outta your bones.”

I took it from her gently, thumb brushing hers. “You always takin’ care of me.”

She smiled, barely. “You look like someone who don’t know how to ask for help.”

“And you look like someone who’s tired of watchin’ folk suffer.”

She stood, dustin’ off her skirts.

“Walk me home?” she asked.

I stood too, tucking the vial safe in my coat. “Aye. Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

And I meant it. From the ache behind my ribs to the silence between her words—I meant every damn word.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

Days passed as I began to see her more and more. Every time was like a dream I didn’t want to end—just like today.

The clearing sat just beyond the old stone wall, tucked where the trees thinned and the wild things dared bloom without asking permission. The sun poured itself across the earth like warm cream, catchin’ on petals and blades of grass, paintin’ everything gold.

She was already there when I arrived—kneelin’ low, sleeves rolled up past her elbows, fingers brushin’ through stalks of green like she were coaxin’ secrets from the dirt. Some of the flowers were in full bloom, heads high like they knew they were worth praisin’. Others drooped, wilted from the heat or time. Still, she moved between them with care, never avoidin’ the ones that’d gone soft at the edges.

“You’re late,” she said without lookin’ at me, voice light but pointed.

I knelt beside her, restin’ my tools down with a soft thump. “Was mendin’ a crooked stair, not flirtin’ with the baker’s daughter if that’s what you’re thinkin’.”

She smirked. “Didn’t say you were.”

“Aye, but you thought it.”

She shook her head, then held up a stem with tiny white buds. “Chamomile. You pick it now, when the sun’s at its highest. Any later, and it starts losin’ its strength.”

I took it from her, turnin’ the stem between my fingers. “Looks like nothin’ special.”

She raised a brow. “And yet it calms nerves, soothes bellies, and can ease nightmares.”

My lips curled. “Maybe I oughta be stuffin’ my pillow with it.”

“Wouldn’t hurt.”

The way she said it made me glance sideways at her—how the sun lit up her cheekbones, how the wind caught loose strands of hair and played with ‘em like a lover. She looked too alive to belong to the quiet.

“Which one’s next?” I asked, clearin’ my throat.

She reached out, pluckin’ a stem from the base of a nearby cluster. “Yarrow. Good for wounds.”

“That for folk like me who get in fights with doors and lose?”

She gave me a sidelong look. “It’s for those who carry hurts they don’t speak on.”

I didn’t answer. Not right away.

We moved in silence for a while, fingers grazin’ blooms, knees in the soft earth. I watched her more than I watched the plants, truth be told. There was a rhythm to her. A kind of stillness that weren’t born from silence but from knowledge. Like she knew exactly where she stood and why the world moved around her.

“Why d’you teach me this?” I asked finally.

She shrugged. “Because most folk pluck what’s pretty and leave what’s useful.”

“And you think I’m worth teachin’?”

She looked at me then. Really looked. “I think you listen when I speak,” she said. “That’s rare enough.”

My chest pulled tight at that. Not from surprise. From feelin’ seen.

“I like hearin’ you talk,” I said, softer than I meant. “Even when you don’t say much.”

She didn’t smile, but she didn’t look away either. “What else do you like?”

“Your hands,” I said before thinkin’. “How sure they are. How you never flinch when you touch things other folk avoid.”

Her gaze flicked down to the herbs between us. “And what if I touch somethin’ dangerous?”

“Then I reckon it’d be lucky to be held by you.”

The wind stirred again, rustlin’ the trees, bendin’ the tall grass in waves. A butterfly danced between us and didn’t land.

She exhaled slow, like maybe she’d been holdin’ her breath. “You’re a strange man, Remmick.”

“Aye,” I said, smilin’. “But I’m learnin’ from the best.”

We sat there till the sun dipped just low enough to cast long shadows. The air thickened with the smell of lavender and crushed thyme. She handed me one last sprig—something bitter, sharp to the nose.

“For the headaches you pretend not to have,” she said.

I tucked it behind my ear like a fool.

She laughed, the sound as soft as the breeze through yarrow leaves.

And I thought—if this were all I ever had of her, it’d be enough.

But some part of me already knew I’d want more.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

The sun was dippin’ low, spillin’ orange light across the field like it was tryin’ to make somethin’ holy outta the ordinary. We’d wandered farther than usual — past the woods, down near where the blackberry bushes crept wild along the stone fences. Grass brushed at our ankles, and the air smelled like dust, crushed fruit, and late summer.

She’d been hummin’ under her breath again. I never knew the tune, but it stuck in my head all the same.

“Careful now,” she said, glancin’ back at me with that half-grin. “These brambles’ll catch your trousers and your pride in one go.”

I muttered somethin’ about her bein’ the real menace, not the bushes, which made her laugh — that soft, real kind that made my chest feel too small.

We settled on a slope where the hill dipped shallow. She sat cross-legged without a care, skirt flared, one hand restin’ against a warm rock. I sat beside her, knees bent, boots diggin’ into the earth. Not too close. Not too far.“You always find the best places,” I said, watchin’ the horizon melt.She shrugged like it weren’t nothin’. “Places don’t gotta be grand to be good. Just quiet. Just safe.”

I glanced at her, and for a second, she looked made of the light itself — all gold and shadow, like she belonged to a world I hadn’t earned yet.

“How come you never told me your name?” I asked, leanin’ back on my elbows. “Might start thinkin’ you ain’t got one.”

She chuckled, pickin’ a stem of clover and twistin’ it between her fingers. “Maybe I was waitin’. Maybe I needed to know if you’d ruin it.”

I arched a brow. “Ruin it how?”

“Some folk take your name like it’s a possession,” she said, serious now. “Say it too often. Say it wrong. Say it like they own it.”

I nodded slow. “And you think I’d do that?”

She looked at me then — really looked — and whatever she saw there must’ve settled somethin’.

“No,” she said soft. “I don’t think you would.”

The breeze picked up. She reached into her basket, pulled out a small bundle wrapped in cloth. Bread and somethin’ sharp-smellin’, maybe a bit of goat cheese.

“Payment,” she said, handin’ me the bread. “For carryin’ all my baskets last week like a proper mule.”

I grinned. “Best damn mule you ever met.”

“You might be right.” She took a bite of her own bread, chewin’ slow, like she had all the time in the world.

Silence sat easy between us, stitched together by cicadas and the rustle of the grass.

Then she said it, casual as the weather.

“My name’s Y/N.”

I turned to her, blinkin’. “Y/N,” I repeated, like it was a word I already knew but hadn’t tasted proper yet.

“Don’t wear it out,” she warned, smirkin’ over her bite of cheese.

“I wouldn’t dare,” I said, and meant it.

We watched the last of the sun sink behind the ridge, the sky bruisin’ with twilight.

“Y/N,” I murmured again, like a prayer I hadn’t realized I’d needed.

She didn’t look at me this time. But I saw the way her smile turned soft at the edges.

And that was enough.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

The sun sat high, spillin’ gold all across the yard like it’d been poured straight from God’s own pitcher. Cicadas were hummin’, lazy and loud, and the stump tree in front of her little place offered just enough shade to make sittin’ there feel like somethin’ sacred.

She was bent over a wide wooden bowl in her lap, sleeves rolled to her elbows, grindin’ the herbs we’d gathered just the day before. Her wrists moved smooth, slow—like she was coaxin’ the medicine out with patience instead of pressure. The scent of rosemary and dry lavender clung to the air. I sat nearby on the grass, a small pile of weeds beside me I’d promised to pull up while she worked, though I’d barely made a dent.

Didn’t matter much.

I wasn’t here to work.

I was here to watch her.

To listen to her hum low under her breath, not a tune I knew, but soft enough to settle the ache that’d been coiled in my chest since the last time she’d gone quiet on me.

She reached for another bundle of dried stalks, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear with the back of her wrist.

“You done plannin’ on helpin’ or you just gonna keep starin’?” she asked, not lookin’ up.

“Both, maybe,” I said, leanin’ back on my elbows with a grin. “Can’t blame a man for admirin’ the view.”

She snorted, but her lips twitched. “If you’re tryin’ to be smooth, you’re slippin’, Remmick.”

“Me? Slippin’?” I let my accent thicken, feignin’ offense. “I’ll have you know I was voted most charming back home. ’Course, that was by a goat and my granda.”

That earned me a laugh. Not loud, but enough to stir the birds in the tree overhead.

I watched her as she went back to work, the sun catchin’ on her skin and her voice hummin’ again. My hand found a stray flower near my boot, tugging it from the grass. Yellow, scraggly thing. Not as pretty as the ones she kept hung dry above her stove, but it reminded me of her in some crooked way—sturdy and soft at the same time.

“You ever think about stayin’?” I asked, real quiet. “In one place, I mean. Lettin’ somethin’ root you instead of always runnin’?”

She paused, mortar stillin’ in her hand. “You mean lettin’ people in?”

“I mean lettin’ one in,” I said, twirlin’ the flower between my fingers. “Just one.”

She turned her head toward me, squintin’ a little like the light was in her eyes and not the words. “That what you’ve been gettin’ at this whole time?”

I didn’t answer. Just tucked the flower behind my ear with mock grace.

“What d’you think?”

She looked at me for a long time. Then smiled. Not wide. Not coy. Just somethin’ soft and real, like the kind of smile you give someone you ain’t afraid of no more.

“I think you talk too much,” she said, goin’ back to grindin’. “But I like it.”

I didn’t need more than that.

Didn’t need her to say the thing out loud.

Not yet.

The breeze picked up, stirrin’ the dust, the herbs, the ache in my chest that didn’t feel quite so heavy no more.

I pulled the flower from its place on behind ear and putting it neatly on hers and she smiles shyly.

And beneath that old stump tree, under the watchful hush of midday, I let myself believe—just a little—that maybe I weren’t the only one feelin’ it.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

The smell of sugar and sun-warmed fruit clung to the cottage like a promise. Late afternoon spilled through the kitchen window in golden sheets, catching in the little dust motes that danced above the wooden counter. The bowl between us was nearly full—fat blueberries she’d hand-picked that morning, now tossed in flour and cinnamon, waiting for their crusted cradle.

I stood elbow-deep in dough, arms dusted white, sweat at my brow and not just from the heat.

“Careful,” she said, reaching across me. Her hand brushed mine. “You’re foldin’ it too hard. Gotta coax it, not fight it.”

I glanced up.

Sunlight hit the side of her face, turned her lashes gold. She was smiling soft—barely there—but it pulled somethin’ straight outta my ribs.

“Aye,” I muttered. “Didn’t know you trained with the Queen’s pastry cooks.”

She snorted. “Didn’t need to. Just had a gran who’d bite your fingers if you got heavy-handed with her dough.”

“Sounds like a wise woman.”

“She was mean as vinegar and twice as sharp.”

I tried again, slower now, and she nodded her approval. The next few minutes passed with quiet hums and giggles. I couldn’t help but sneak glances—at the curve of her neck, the smudge of flour on her cheek, the way her fingers moved like she were tellin’ a story only she knew.

Then I caught her lookin’ at me.

We both froze.

Neither of us said nothin’, but somethin’ heavy and warm unfurled between us, soft as steam off a pie fresh from the oven.

She turned first, busyin’ herself with the tin. I took the chance to toss a pinch of flour at her back.

It hit her scarf.

She whirled. “Oh, you didn’t—!”

I grinned. “Didn’t what?”

She grabbed a handful and threw it square at my chest. The puff exploded, dustin’ my shirt and the air between us. I lunged with a laugh, and she shrieked, giggling as she dodged around the table.

We wrestled, gently. My hands found her waist, hers pressed against my chest, and when she stumbled, I caught her.

Held her.

Our breath caught in the same place.

“You’ve got… flour,” I murmured, brushing her cheek.

“So do you,” she whispered, staring up at me.

I don’t remember leanin’ in. Just that my lips found hers like they’d been waitin’ their whole life.

She kissed me back slow—like she weren’t sure she should, but couldn’t help herself.

Then it changed.

Got deeper. Hungrier.

She tugged my shirt, I backed her into the counter. My hands ran over her hips, then up, tanglin’ in her hair as she moaned into my mouth.

“Y/N…” I whispered against her jaw.

She didn’t answer. Just pulled me toward the bedroom like it was a decision already made.

The room was dim and warm, the last of the sun stretchin’ long through the window. She peeled her top away first, the thin cotton fallin’ to the floor. I watched her chest rise, eyes dark with want but soft, too.

I pulled my shirt over my head, dropped it, then stepped close.

“Sure ‘bout this?” I asked, voice low.

She nodded. “Been sure.”

That’s all I needed.

I kissed her again, slower this time, carryin’ her back until her knees hit the bed. We sank down together.

Our clothes came off like pages turned, deliberate and slow. My hands traced every inch of her, commitin’ it to memory like scripture. She gasped when I kissed her collarbone, whimpered when I moved down, when my mouth found the place that made her hips jerk and thighs tremble.

“Remmick,” she breathed, fingers in my hair, head tipped back.

I could’ve died in that moment and called it heaven.

When I slid inside her, she clung to me like she’d fall apart otherwise.

We moved together like we’d been doin’ it forever. Like we were born for it. Her nails scraped down my back, my mouth found her throat. I whispered her name like a hymn, like a confession.

She cried out when she came—legs locked around me, eyes wet, lips parted.

I followed close behind, buryin’ my face in her neck with a groan, her name spillin’ from my mouth like a prayer I’d never learned to say right.

After, we didn’t speak.

Just laid tangled in each other, the sound of our breath and the warm hush of evening wrappin’ around us.

I pressed a kiss to her shoulder.

She didn’t flinch.

Didn’t pull away.

And I swear—right then—I could’ve stayed there forever.

But forever’s a long time.

And fate, as I’ve learned, don’t ever keep still.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

The first whisper came from the well.

A woman claimin’ her husband’d died after takin’ a tincture from Y/N. Said it were meant to calm his fever, but he didn’t see the next mornin’. She left out the weeks of coughin’ blood, the yellow tint in his eyes, the black along his gums. She left out the death already settin’ up house in his chest. No, she only spoke of the bottle. And the woman who brewed it. The quiet one, with dark hands and darker eyes, and a garden full o’ herbs no one dared name.

By midday, more tales grew teeth.

A child gone pale after tastin’ sweetroot she’d sold. A cow miscarryin’ out near the woods. An old man mutterin’ in his sleep that he’d seen a shadow slip past his window—and his joints ain’t been right since.

That evenin’, someone carved a jagged symbol into the bark of the tree outside her home.

The kind meant to ward off evil.

Or invite it.

I heard the talk at the forge. At the tavern. At the bloody baker’s shop, while I were settin’ a hinge right on their back door.

“She don’t age,” one man whispered.

“She don’t bleed,” said another.

“Heard her kiss tastes like rusted iron,” a third muttered, voice thick with ale and foolishness.

“She’s a witch.”

“She’s the reason the sickness won’t lift.”

I laid the hammer down slow. Let the nails clatter onto the bench one by one. Didn’t say a word. Just slipped out the back, fists clenched so tight I damn near split my own skin.

By the time I made it to her cottage, dusk had painted the sky grey and mean. I found her in the back garden, tendin’ her herbs like nothin’ was crumblin’ ‘round her.

“Evenin’,” she said when I stepped through the gate. Her voice soft, same as always, but her shoulders were stiff.

“You been into town lately?” I asked.

“Two mornings past,” she said, still kneelin’. “Why?”

I moved closer, my jaw grindin’. “Folk are talkin’. Sayin’ you’re the reason that man’s dead.”

She stood slow, wiped her hands on her apron. “He was already dyin’. The brew was to ease his passin’. I ain’t the one who filled his lungs with rot.”

“I know that. But they don’t. And they’re lookin’ for someone to blame.”

“They always are.”

I swallowed hard, shakin’ my head. “They carved a mark outside your gate.”

She turned to me fully then. “Let ‘em.”

“They’re callin’ you a witch.”

“And what do you call me?”

My throat tightened. “I call you brave. Foolish, maybe. But brave.”

She held my gaze. “I’ve run before, Remmick. I’ll do it again if I must.”

“Don’t,” I said, louder than I meant to. “Don’t run.”

She looked back to the herbs. “I won’t beg to keep a life I built with my own hands.”

“You won’t have to.” My voice dipped low. “But promise me—no more goin’ into town alone.”

She hesitated. “Alright.”

But I knew, right then, she were already thinkin’ of leavin’.

Three days passed.

She didn’t listen.

Said she needed sugar. Cinnamon bark. Said she’d be quick.

A boy came runnin’ to my door before midday, breathless. “She’s been hurt,” he gasped. “They said she cursed their land. Threw stones. She bled.”

I didn’t ask. Just ran.

When I reached her home, she was packin’. A bandage round her brow, blood stainin’ the edge of it. Her hands moved fast, throwin’ jars and vials into her satchel.

“You went alone?” I barked, stormin’ into the room.

“I didn’t think—”

“No,” I snapped, “you didn’t.”

She didn’t stop movin’.

“You plannin’ on runnin’, then?”

“What choice do I have?” she hissed. “You said it yourself—they’ll burn the source.”

My chest hurt. “Don’t go.”

She paused. Just for a moment.

Then kept packin’. “You can’t save me from all this.”

“I can try.”

That night, I left.

Didn’t tell her where I was goin’. Only knew one place left to turn.

Deep in the hills, past the boglands and the stone-faced ruins. A place folk didn’t speak of unless drink loosened their tongues. Said there was a woman there, old as death, who could grant power—if you paid the price.

And I paid it.

Gave up my last ounce o’ peace for it.

“Give me what I need to protect her,” I said, kneelin’ in the dirt.

The voice that answered sounded like it had no mouth, no shape.

You’ll have it. But you’ll never be what you were.

I woke with fire behind my eyes.

With hunger in my chest.

And power under my skin.

I ran back.

Too late.

Blood painted the porch. A poisoned arrow stickin’ out her side. Her breath shallow. Barely holdin’ on.

“Y/N,” I choked, fallin’ beside her. “No, no, no—stay with me, darlin’, please.”

“They came,” she rasped. “Said I brought plague…”

“We’ll leave. I’ll carry you. I’ll get you out—”

She smiled. Weak. “You’ve got to live, Remmick.”

“I ain’t livin’ without you.”

She tried to lift her hand. Failed.

And I broke.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered, tears runnin’. “Forgive me.”

I sank my teeth into her throat.

She gasped.

Horrified.

“You didn’t…” she whimpered as blood began spraying a bit from the wound. “You didn’t ask…”

“I couldn’t lose you, Moonflower.”

The torches were comin’. Voices behind the trees.

But I held her tighter than I’d ever held anythin’ as she stopped breathing.

And I cursed myself with every breath.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

Y/N’s Pov

I woke with my mouth dry and the taste of iron sittin’ heavy on my tongue.

The ceiling above me weren’t my own. It sloped too sharp, boards too clean, the scent of smoke and earth clingin’ to the beams like old ghosts. The air was still—too still—like the house itself was holdin’ its breath.

I sat up slow. My limbs moved strange—lighter, too light, like my body forgot how much it used to weigh. My skin felt tight over my bones, raw at the seams, like somethin’ inside me had been stretched too far and stitched back wrong.

The blanket slid off my shoulders.

I was wearin’ someone else’s dress.

Not mine. Not torn. Not bloodstained.

But that’s what I remembered last.

Blood. The color of it flashin’ under the moonlight. The ache of it tearin’ through my ribs. The sound of Remmick’s voice, tremblin’ as he cradled me like I was already gone. And then—

My throat closed.

I remembered his mouth on my neck.

His whisper. His kiss.

The bite.

And suddenly it hit—like a storm comin’ in sideways.

The pain. The fire. The way my body twisted from the inside out, like my soul didn’t wanna be here no more but the rest of me refused to let go. My hands clutched the mattress. Breath comin’ fast, sharp.

He turned me.

He turned me without askin’.

I swung my legs off the side of the bed, bare feet hittin’ cool wood. The room around me was dim but familiar in a way that made my stomach knot. It was his. It had to be. One of the places he used—clean, hidden, a house that didn’t remember its own name.

A chair was pulled close to the bed. A half-burnt candle melted into the table beside it.

He’d been watchin’ me.

Waitin’ for me to wake.

And yet he was gone now.

Good.

I didn’t want him to see me like this—split open from the inside, grief sittin’ heavy in my chest like a second heart.

I rose, legs unsteady beneath me, and caught sight of my reflection in the small mirror above the wash basin.

I froze.

My eyes—black at the center, rimmed in red like coals just startin’ to burn. My skin a bit discolored as early frost, no warmth left to hold. My lips, faintly stained.

I touched them.

They still felt like mine.

But they weren’t.

A sound left me. Not a sob. Not quite.

Somethin’ between a growl and a cry—like grief wearin’ new teeth.

I should’ve been dead.

That’s what I chose. That’s what I meant.

I told him to run.

I told him to live.

And instead, he tethered me to this life—this curse—with his own teeth.

My hand found the edge of the basin and gripped it tight.

The wood cracked under my fingers.

I let go, heart poundin’ louder than thought.

This wasn’t love.

This was control.

A man holdin’ too tight to what he couldn’t bear to lose.

He’d rather unmake me than grieve me.

And yet—beneath the rage, beneath the betrayal—somethin’ else stirred.

Somethin’ I hated more than him in that moment.

I didn’t feel dead.

I felt strong.

Feral.

Awake.

Every sound in the woods outside was clearer. The creak of the beams. The wind slippin’ under the door. I could smell the ash in the hearth and the echo of blood that once lived in these floorboards.

And that scared me more than anything.

Because I knew what came next.

The hunger.

The ache.

The war I’d have to fight inside myself, every minute, every hour.

All because he couldn’t let me go.

I stepped away from the mirror.

The next time I saw Remmick, I wasn’t sure if I was gonna kiss him…

or kill him.

So I ran.

Not for the first time.

But this time, I crossed oceans.

The Atlantic didn’t welcome me. It didn’t whisper comfort. It roared—salt-raw and cruel, like it knew what I was carryin’. Not just the hunger. Not just the curse. But the truth: I wasn’t runnin’ from a man.

I was runnin’ from the memory of one.

I didn’t look back when Europe disappeared behind fog. Too many ghosts in the soil. Too many names I couldn’t say anymore. Too many faces I’d borrowed and buried.

I took the long way to nowhere.

Lived beneath borrowed roofs and behind shuttered windows. Spain. France. Portugal. I spoke like them, walked like them, bent like them. But my voice never quite fit right. My skin whispered stories the villagers didn’t know how to read. And when they couldn’t read you, they made you into somethin’ to fear.

So I disappeared again.

City to countryside. From the coast to quiet farms. I slept in cellars. Fed in alleyways. Hid my teeth like a shame. Covered my eyes when they burned too bright. But no matter where I went, I couldn’t bury what he’d done to me. What I’d become.

Vampire. Woman. Stranger.

Sin.

Then came America.

I heard tales of it in the mouths of men too poor to own boots but rich enough to dream. A place where no one knew your name unless you gave it. Where you could vanish on purpose. So I boarded a ship under another name and crossed a second ocean.

They didn’t see me.

Didn’t ask what land I came from.

Only that I kept quiet. Paid in coin. Kept to my corner.

And I did.

I stepped off that boat like a shadow lookin’ for a body.

Years blurred. The states changed names and faces. I moved where the fear was low and the sun easier to dodge. Pennsylvania. Georgia. Louisiana. Tennessee.

But nothin’ felt like mine.

Not until Mississippi.

The Delta didn’t ask questions. It didn’t blink twice at a woman whose hands knew how to soothe fever, or whose voice carried like river water over stone. It didn’t care where I came from—just that I came with honesty and stayed with my head down.

And Lord, the pain here… it sang.

You could hear it in the soil. In the fields. In the bones of folk who worked the land like they were tryin’ to forgive it for all it had taken. The joy didn’t come easy here—but it came. It bled through laughter, through music, through bodies swayin’ in defiance of grief.

Here, sorrow didn’t hide from joy.

They danced together.

And for someone like me, that meant maybe I could belong.

I found a room behind a narrow house with warped floorboards and a window I never opened. Miss Adele, who owned it, looked me over long and low before passin’ me the key.

“You ain’t from here,” she said.

“No, ma’am.”

She nodded. “But you wear the heat like it’s home. Just don’t bring no trouble through my door.”

I didn’t make promises. But I paid in full.

I stayed quiet. Covered my skin when the sun rose. Fed when I had to—clean, discreet, never twice in the same place. I helped when I could. Tinctures, poultices, teas. I kept to myself. Most folk didn’t know my story.

Didn’t know I once had a man.

Didn’t know he turned me with a kiss and a curse and then begged me to thank him for it.

Didn’t know I used to love him.

I didn’t even know if he was still alive.

I hadn’t seen Remmick in over a century. Hadn’t heard whispers of him. Sometimes, when the wind shifted just right, I swore I could smell the cold of his coat, the copper of his breath. But that was just memory. Just the mind playin’ cruel.

He could’ve turned to dust for all I knew.

I prayed he had.

Still, I never let myself settle too deep.

The room I rented had no roots.

The name I gave was borrowed.

But the juke joint?

That felt like a church.

When Annie smiled at me and Stack nodded toward the dance floor, when the music rolled through me like a hymn with no preacher—I felt human again. I let my body move. I let myself forget. Just for a night. Just for a song.

And when it was over, I stepped back into shadow like I never left it.

They didn’t know what I was.

Not yet.

But I knew what they were.

Wounded. Brave. Alive.

Mississippi didn’t need my past. It didn’t ask for blood oaths or confession. It let me be.

And for the first time in over a hundred years, that was enough.

But peace?

Peace don’t last for things like me.

Because the past got claws.

And I knew, deep down—

if he was still out there, he’d find me.

What I didn’t know… was that he already had.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

The air smelled of fried grease, wet moss, and wood smoke—the kind of southern night that clung to your skin like sweat and memory. I’d just left Miss Lila’s porch, her boy burnin’ up with fever again, and her nerves worn thin as dishwater. I’d left her with a small jar of bark-root and clove oil, told her to steep it slow and keep a cool cloth on his head. She didn’t ask what was in it. Folks rarely did when they was desperate.

The street stretched quiet before me, the dirt packed down by bare feet and Sunday wagons. My boots scuffed low as I walked, the hem of my skirt brushing the edge of dust and dew. The stars hung low tonight, strung like pinholes across a sky too tired to hold itself up.

I passed shuttered windows and sleeping dogs. Passed rusted signs and flickering lamps, the ones that leaned crooked like they were listenin’. I clutched my shawl tighter, the chill sneakier in the spring—evenin’s cool breath slidin’ down the back of my neck.

And then I saw it—the juke joint. It sat tucked behind a bend in the road like a secret meant to be found. Light spilled out through the cracks in the wood like it couldn’t bear to be kept in. Music pulsed low from inside—bluesy and slow, like sorrow had found its rhythm.

Cornbread stood out front like always, arms crossed, leanin’ on the doorframe with that half-grin like he owned the night.

He spotted me before I hit the steps. “Well now,” he said, voice smooth like creek water. “Evenin’, Miss Y/N. Came to bless us with your presence?”

I gave a quiet chuckle, noddin’. “Only if I’m welcome.”

He laughed soft, pushin’ the door open. “Girl, you family by now. Don’t need to be askin’ no more.”

“Still,” I said, steppin’ closer. “Mama always said it’s good manners to ask ‘fore walkin’ into a space that ain’t yours.”

“Ain’t nobody gonna question your manners,” he muttered, wavin’ me through. “Now get in ‘fore the music runs out.”

Inside was a rush of warmth—smoke, sweat, the sweet bite of corn liquor, and somethin’ else… somethin’ close to joy. The music crawled under your skin ‘til your hips remembered how to sway without askin’. Voices buzzed like bees in summer heat, laughter rollin’ like dice across the room.

I eased onto the barstool I always took—third from the left, right where the fan overhead spun lazy—and let my bag fall soft at my boots. Didn’t order nothin’. I never did.

Annie caught sight of me behind the bar, swayin’ easy as ever with a tray of empty glasses tucked on her hip.

“You bring what I asked for?” she asked, duckin’ behind the counter.

I reached into my satchel and handed her the cotton-wrapped bundle. “Steep it slow. Sip, don’t gulp. Should ease you through the worst of it.”

She winked. “Law, I owe you my life.”

“Nah,” I said, settlin’ onto the stool near the end of the bar. “Just owe me a plate of cornbread next time you cookin’.”

That got a laugh out of her, quick and sweet, before she vanished into the back.

I turned back toward the floor, just as Mary’s voice cut through the buzz of conversation like a blade through hushpuppies.

“Y’all hear ‘bout the farmer boy gone missin’?” she said, leanin’ into the group crowded ‘round the far end of the bar. Smoke was there, elbow propped, brows knit low. Two more men sat hunched close—quiet, listening.

“Wasn’t just him,” one said. “Old Mabel from the creek road said her nephew ain’t been seen in two days. Said his boots still sittin’ on the porch like he vanished mid-step.”

Smoke grunted. “I say it’s a man gone mad. Roamin’ through the woods, takin’ what he pleases. We’ve seen worse.”

One of the others leaned in, voice hushed. “The natives been whisperin’ it ain’t a man.”

That brought stillness. Even the music in the back room seemed to hush a beat.

“What they say?” Mary asked, brows raised.

“They say somethin’ old woke up,” the man said, voice nearly swallowed by the crackle of heat and distance. “Somethin’ that walks like a man, but ain’t. They leave herbs and ash circles at the edge of the trees again—like back in the old days.”

Mary scoffed, but it sounded unsure. “Old tales. Spirits don’t need bodies to raise hell.”

“They said this one’s lookin’ for somethin’,” he continued, eyes flickin’ toward the windows like the night itself might be listenin’. “Or someone. Been walkin’ the land with hunger in its bones and a face nobody can seem to remember after seein’ it.”

I sat quiet, still as dusk.

“Could just be some drifter,” Smoke said. “Folks get riled when trouble comes and ain’t got no face to pin it on.”

“Then why the sudden vanishings?” Mary pressed. “Why now?”

“Maybe it ain’t sudden,” I said before I could stop myself, my voice low and calm. “Maybe it’s just the first time we’re payin’ attention.”

Four heads turned my way.

Mary squinted. “You heard somethin’ too?”

I shook my head slow. “Just a feelin’. The kind that settles in your back teeth when the wind shifts wrong.”

They didn’t say nothin’ to that. Not directly. But Smoke nodded once, solemn, like he’d felt it too.

The conversation drifted back to softer things—music, cards, the preacher’s crooked fence—but I sat still. That ache behind my ribs hadn’t let up since the moon turned last. The way the air felt heavy even when it wasn’t humid. The way dogs stopped barkin’ at shadows like they knew they couldn’t win.

It weren’t just madness.

And it sure as hell weren’t random.

I could feel it deep.

Like breath on the back of my neck.

Something was here.

Something was comin’.

And this time, I didn’t know if I’d be able to outrun it.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

Remmick’s Pov

It started with the absence.

Not the kind that’s loud—grief flung sharp across the soul. No. This one crept in slow, like rot behind the walls. Quiet. Patient. The kind of missing that don’t scream. It whispers.

I walked to an empty room. No blood on the floor, no broken window, no fight to mark the leaving. Just cold air where her warmth used to linger. Her scent still clung to the linens. The floor creaked where she last stood.

I called her name.

Once.

Twice.

A third time—barely a whisper. Like maybe she’d come back if I said it soft.

But she didn’t.

And God help me, I searched.

I turned over every rock in that cursed country. Asked after a woman with a strange voice and steady hands. A healer. A ghost. I heard stories that might’ve been her—always just a breath behind. A girl boardin’ a carriage to Marseille. A woman leavin’ a parcel at a chapel in Lisbon. A stranger with dark eyes and no surname passin’ through Antwerp.

I missed her by hours. Days. Once, by a damned blink.

The trail always went cold. But I kept followin’. Because somethin’ in me—somethin’ older than this cursed body—knew she was still out there.

I stopped feedin’ off folk unless I had to. Couldn’t stomach it. Not with her voice echoing in my head, the way she looked at me that night—betrayal writ clear on every bone in her face.

I never meant to hurt her.

I only meant to save her.

But what I gave her weren’t salvation. It was a cage.

A century passed me like smoke through fingers. I lost track of time, faces, cities. Learned to blend into the edges. Changed my name more than once. The world changed, and I watched it like a man outside a window he couldn’t break through.

Then word came.

A dockhand in Barcelona. Drunk off his ass. Said he’d seen a woman walkin’ off a freighter bound for the States. Said she didn’t belong to nobody’s country. Said she looked like a shadow stitched to the sea.

That was all I needed.

I took the next ship out. Didn’t care where it landed—so long as it took me west. Toward her.

The ocean ain’t merciful.

The waves came like judgment. Ripped through the hull on the second week. Screams. Salt. Fire where it shouldn’t be. They said none survived.

They were wrong.

I clung to the wreckage ‘til the sky cracked open with morning. Drifted on broken boards and rage. Burned here and there by the time I reached land—ain’t proud of that. But grief makes monsters outta men, and I already was halfway there.

I moved through towns like a ghost with teeth. New York. Georgia. Tennessee. Small towns and big cities, never settlin’. I listened to whispers in back alleys and watched for her in every market, every dusk-lit chapel, every face turned away from the sun.

Nothing. For years.

But I could feel her.

She was here.

Like the heat before a storm. Like a name you ain’t heard in decades but still makes your gut twist.

It led me to Mississippi.

The Delta pressed down heavy on the chest, thick with memory and blood. And that’s when I knew—she was close. Her scent was buried in the clay. In the river. In the music that throbbed outta them joints deep in the trees.

I watched from the shadows first. Didn’t trust myself not to shatter somethin’ if I saw her too soon.

She danced now. She smiled. But I could see the armor in her eyes. She never looked back when she left a room. Never stepped through a door without pausin’. Still runnin’. Even after all this time.

And me?

I’d come too far.

Burned too much.

So I waited. Watched.

And when the moment was right, I’d step out of the dark…

…and she’d never be able to leave me again.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

There was somethin’ stirrin’ in the wind lately. Not loud, not sharp—just enough to make the back of my neck prickle, enough to keep my eyes glancin’ twice at shadows I used to pass without a care. Folks round here would say it’s just the season changin’. The cotton bloomin’ slow. The river swellin’ with too much rain. But I knew better.

I knew what it felt like when the past came knockin’.

It started with a weight I couldn’t name. Not sorrow, not fear. Just… a tightness in the air. Like the calm right before a storm that don’t care how long you prayed.

I was sweepin’ the porch when it hit strongest. Sun had already gone down behind the trees, but the sky still held that warm blue gold, thick and low, like honey drippin’ off the edge of the world. The breeze carried the scent of pine, of distant smoke and a sweetness I couldn’t quite place. My broom slowed. My breath did too.

I didn’t see nobody. Didn’t hear a damn thing.

But I knew. Somethin’ was watchin’.

I didn’t flinch. Just kept sweepin’, let the wind pull at the hem of my skirt and carried myself like I hadn’t just felt old ghosts shift under my ribs.

Come nightfall, I made my way to the juke. Same as always. Parcel of dried herb tucked in my satchel for Grace. A wrapped cloth of rosehip and sassafras root for Annie. Folks counted on me for that, and I didn’t mind. Gave me a reason to keep movin’. Gave me an excuse to slip past the ache.

Cornbread tipped his chin at me when I reached the door. “You late, sugar.”

I grinned easy, lifting the edge of my shawl. “Didn’t know there was a curfew.”

He stepped aside with a smirk. “Ain’t one. But if you keep showin’ up this late, I’m gon’ start worryin’. Com’ in.”

“Now you sound like Adele,” I teased, brushin’ past him.

Inside, the world came alive. Warm wood floors thrummin’ underfoot. Smoke curlin’ from rolled cigars. Sweat glistenin’ on cheeks mid-laugh. A fiddle cried through the room like it’d been born from somebody’s bones, and I breathed deep. I needed that sound.

I didn’t dance. Not tonight. Just eased myself onto the stool at the far corner and let my satchel rest on the floor. The room buzzed around me, voices rollin’ like riverwater.

Then I felt it again.

That chill. That soft press of a stare at my back. Not unkind. But heavy.

I didn’t turn. Didn’t let it show on my face. But somethin’ old shifted inside me. Somethin’ I’d buried centuries deep.

Not here, I thought. Not now.

I caught Annie passin’ and handed her the pouch. She squeezed my arm with a thank-you, unaware of how tight my chest had gone.

“You feelin’ alright?” she asked.

“Just tired,” I lied, soft. “Been a long week.”

She nodded and moved on, bless her.

But my eyes didn’t move from the corner of the room, where the light barely touched.

Nothin’ was there.

But I felt him.

Or maybe I was just tired.

Maybe.

I left earlier than usual, sayin’ my goodbyes with a smile that didn’t quite touch the bone. The walk back was quiet—too quiet for a town this close to midnight. I kept to the edge of the trees, let the dark wrap around me like a veil.

At my door, I paused. Looked over my shoulder.

Still nothin’.

Still that weight.

Inside, I lit one lamp and sat down slow on the edge of the bed, unwrappin’ my scarf. My hands were shakin’, just a little.

There’s a certain kind of fear that don’t come with panic. Don’t scream in your ears or rush your breath.

It settles.

Like a coat. Like a second skin.

And I knew that fear.

I knew it like I knew the taste of ash on my tongue. Like I knew the look in his eyes the night he chose for me what I would never have chosen for myself.

I leaned back, arms crossin’ my chest.

If it was him, he wouldn’t show yet.

Not ‘til he was ready.

Not ‘til I couldn’t run again.

So I did the only thing I could do.

I waited.

And in the silence, my soul whispered one word.

Remmick.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

The grass whispered under my steps as I walked. Basket on my arm. Sun barely peekin’ through the trees. I’d meant only to gather herbs ‘fore the day grew too hot—rosemary, some goldenrod, a few stubborn mint sprigs for Annie’s cough. But the air felt… wrong.

Not wrong like danger.

Wrong like memory.

Like grief wearin’ another man’s skin.

The woods around me were still—too still. The birds had hushed. Even the wind held its breath. And I knew. Same way you know a snake’s behind you without seein’ it. Same way your spirit clenches when the past is near.

I stopped by the creekbed, crouched low like I was studyin’ the mint. But my breath’d already gone shallow. I didn’t need to see him to feel him. The air had thickened, the way it always did before a summer storm. Thick like honey gone too long. Like hunger waitin’ in a dark room.

“I know it’s you,” I said, not even botherin’ to turn. My voice didn’t shake. Not even once. “Ain’t no use hidin’ in the shade. You was never no shadow.”

No answer.

Not yet.

But I felt him in the stillness. In the hush between my heartbeats.

“Come on out, Remmick.”

His name cracked the air open like thunder.

And then—branches shifted.

I turned slow.

He was leanin’ against a tree like he’d been grown there. Pale, still, boots clean despite the mud. Hair tousled like sleep or war. Those eyes—red as dusk and just as dangerous. But his face…

His face looked like grief tryin’ to wear calm like a disguise.

“You always did know how to find me,” he said, voice low and silk-slick, but it cracked under the weight of memory.

“I didn’t find you,” I snapped. “You been followin’ me.”

He smiled—sad and sharp. “Reckon I have.”

The basket slipped from my hand, landin’ soft in the dirt. My jaw clenched.

“You survived.”

“Aye,” he said, never lookin’ away. “Didn’t think I would. But I’ve always been hard to kill.”

I laughed, bitter. “Too stubborn for death, too stupid to know when to quit.”

He took a step. Measured. Careful.

“I looked for you,” he said, breath catchin’.

“And when you found me,” I cut in, “you hid.”

He flinched. “I wasn’t ready. You left, Y/N. After everythin’—”

“You turned me!” I snapped, voice shakin’. “You took my choice and dressed it up like mercy.”

“I saved you.”

“You cursed me.”

Silence. Heavy and wet like the air.

“I woke up hungry, Remmick,” I whispered. “Starvin’. Scared. Watchin’ my own hands do things I couldn’t stop. You weren’t there.”

“I didn’t know what it would do to you,” he said. “But I couldn’t bury you. Not you.”

I took a step back. My heart was thunderin’ in my ears.

“You should’ve let me die.”

His eyes shone then—not from the red glow, but from somethin’ older. Somethin’ breakin’.

“I couldn’t,” he breathed. “I’d already lost everythin’. My brother. My home. And then you—” He stopped, jaw tight. “I’d have nothin’ left if you died.”

I stared at him, tears burnin’ the backs of my eyes. “So instead you dragged me into this hell and called it love?”

“I loved you.”

“I loved you too,” I said. “And that’s what makes it worse.”

His hands twitched at his sides like he wanted to reach out, but didn’t dare.

“You think I ain’t felt you watchin’ me these last few weeks?” I said, steady now. “Think I didn’t know the air changed when you came near?”

“I didn’t know how to face you,” he admitted, voice ragged. “Not after what I did. Not after you ran.”

“I had to,” I said. “You made me a monster. I couldn’t look at you without hearin’ the scream I let out when I woke up.”

We stood there, tangled in the ache of a hundred years.

Then he said quiet, “I didn’t want to own you. I just wanted to belong to someone again.”

I closed my eyes. And Lord, that was the worst part.

Because some part of me still did ache for him. Still remembered the feel of his hand in mine when we were both still human. Still remembered that look he gave me like I hung the moon crooked just to keep him wonderin’.

But ache ain’t the same as love.

“You got no right,” I whispered. “Not to this town. Not to me.”

His jaw flexed.

“Then why’d you call my name?”

“Because I felt you,” I said. “And I’d rather look the devil in the eye than let him haunt me from the trees.”

He smiled then, soft and bitter.

“I ain’t the devil.”

“No,” I said. “But you sure learned how to dance like him.”

He stared at me a long time.

And I knew, right then, this wasn’t over.

Not by a long shot.

But I’d bought myself a moment.

And in a life like mine, a moment might just be the thing that saves you.

“Go,” I said, voice barely above a whisper. “Before I decide to hate you more than I already do.”

He took a breath. Then turned.

Walked back into the woods without a word.

But I knew that weren’t the last of him.

Because men like Remmick?

They don’t come to say goodbye.

They come to take back what they think belongs to them.

And this is the point when patience isn’t known to him.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

The joint was hummin’.

Music slid through the floor like syrup, thick with bass and heat. Somebody’s uncle was hollerin’ over a blues tune on the piano, Annie behind the bar crackin’ jokes while slippin’ flasks under the table. Sweat glistened on the back of my neck, curls stickin’ to my skin, and laughter rolled up from the dance floor like smoke. I was leanin’ into a conversation with Josephine at the bar, her eyes wide as she told me about a man she caught slippin’ out her window barefoot just before his wife came knockin’.

I chuckled low, brows raised. “And you didn’t slap him upside the head first?”

She rolled her eyes. “I had better things to do than waste my strength on a fool.”

“Amen to that,” I said, liftin’ my glass, though I hadn’t drunk a drop.

Then I felt it.

A cold ripple slid down the length of my spine—so sudden, it stole the breath right out my lungs. It weren’t fear, not quite. But the kind of dread that came from knowin’ something was wrong before your eyes could prove it.

I didn’t see the door.

But I saw Stack.

He was on his feet, jaw tight, walkin’ past me with that slow kind of purpose. Smoke followed close behind, his eyes narrowin’ toward the open entrance. Cornbread had gone quiet at the door, and that alone was enough to knot my gut.

Josephine kept talkin’, but her voice faded into nothin’.

My body moved on its own.

I stood, heart poundin’ like a war drum behind my ribs. The music didn’t stop, but everything inside me did. I walked past the tables, past the girls, through the perfume and pipe smoke and scent of sweat and spilt whiskey.

And then—

His voice.

Smooth. Mockin’. Sugar over glass.

“Evenin’,” Remmick drawled, like he’d been invited to church supper and meant to charm the whole congregation. “Lovely place y’all got here. Full of… soul.”

My blood turned to ice.

He was speakin’ to Cornbread, who stood stiff as a gatepost, eyes narrowin’ as the air seemed to stretch thin between ‘em.

“Think you might be lost,” Cornbread said slowly, not movin’ from his post. “There’s places in town for your kind. This ain’t one.”

“Oh, but I’m right where I need to be,” Remmick smiled, sharp and hollow. “Heard tale of music, drink, and dancin’. Figured I’d see it for myself. Can’t a man enjoy the night?”

His eyes flicked past Cornbread—landin’ square on me.

Like he’d planned it. Like he’d waited for the silence in my soul to find the crack just wide enough to step through.

“Y/N,” he said.

My stomach dropped.

Stack stepped in front of me. “You know this man?”

“I do,” I said. My voice came out steady, but my hands curled into fists at my sides. “I know him.”

“Name’s Remmick,” he said, glancin’ at the twins with a false-smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Old friends with the lady. We go back.”

“Too far,” I muttered.

He took a step forward, and Stack shifted, blockin’ him.

“Easy now,” Remmick said, hands liftin’. “I’m just here to talk. That all right with you, darlin’?”

His tone curled around that word like it meant everything and nothin’ at all. The same way it used to when he wanted me quiet. Wanted me pliant.

“No,” I snapped. “You ain’t supposed to be here.”

Cornbread’s hand twitched toward the bat leanin’ beside the door.

Remmick chuckled. “Didn’t know you needed permission to visit old flames. Thought we were past pretendin’, Y/N.”

My jaw clenched. I stepped in front of Stack and Smoke, meetin’ Remmick’s eyes dead on.

“You’re pushin’ it,” I said low, “and you know it.”

He tilted his head. “I’m just tryin’ to make amends. Catch up. Maybe remind you of what we—”

“Shut up,” I snapped. “Not here.”

He didn’t shut up.

Instead, he smirked and said, “What? Afraid somebody might recognize what you really are?”

That was it.

I moved fast. My hand gripped his arm hard, draggin’ him back from the door ‘fore anyone else could hear. His boots scraped the dirt as I yanked him past the porch, into the woods just beyond the edge of the firelight.

We didn’t stop ‘til the juke faded behind us, til the only sound was the hiss of the crickets and the rasp of my breath.

Then I let go.

He stumbled back, laughin’ low.

“You always were the fiery sort,” he muttered. “Mouth full of ash and thunder.”

My eyes flared, shiftin’ to that color I only saw when my blood ran too hot. “Are you outta your damn mind, comin’ up in there like that?”

He shrugged. “Didn’t figure you’d come callin’ again. Had to make the introduction myself.”

“You could’ve blown everything,” I hissed. “You wanna waltz in there flashin’ teeth and riddles, but these people don’t forget what monsters look like once they get wind of it. You forgot that part?”

His face twisted, somethin’ cruel and wounded all at once. “You forgot I ain’t been welcome in any place for centuries. You found a home. I found shadows. You danced while I starved.”

I stepped close, close enough to see the red flicker in his eyes again.

“You don’t get to turn this on me,” I said, voice droppin’ into a tremble of fury. “You made me this way. You left me this way. And now you think you can show up with your coy words and puppy eyes and take what ain’t yours anymore?”

He leaned in, voice barely breathin’.

“You were always mine, darlin’. Long ‘fore the blood ever touched your lips.”

I slapped him.

The sound cracked like a pistol in the hush.

He didn’t flinch.

Didn’t raise his voice.

But that smile—the slow, dangerous one he wore like armor—slipped off his face like a mask too heavy to hold.

I was breathin’ hard. Fists clenched. Rain gatherin’ on my skin like it had permission. Like even the sky had been waitin’ for us to come undone.

“You don’t get to say that,” I seethed, chest heavin’. “You don’t ever get to say that to me.”

Remmick stayed where he stood—still, calm. Too calm. Like the eye of a storm that knew the ruin already circlin’ it.

“I reckon I just did,” he said low, almost kind. “And I meant it.”

My jaw shook. “You think this is love? You think this is some twisted soul-bind you can drag behind you like a dog on a chain?”

His brow ticked, barely. “No chain ever held you, Y/N. You cut every one yourself.”

I took a step toward him, finger pointed like it might draw blood.

“You turned me without askin’. You let me wake up alone. You watched me starve. And now you show up actin’ like I owe you somethin’?”

He didn’t move. Just tilted his head, watchin’ me unravel.

“I didn’t say you owed me. I came to see if there was anythin’ left.”

“There wasn’t!” I shouted, voice crackin’. “There ain’t! Not after what you did.”

He exhaled slow through his nose, like he’d been expectin’ this. Like he’d already played it out a thousand ways in the hollows of his mind.

“You always did throw fire when your heart got loud.”

“You got no right to talk about my heart,” I hissed. “Not after the way you crushed it and called it savin’ me.”

He stepped closer—just one step. Careful. Calm.

“You think I ain’t spent the last hundred years crawlin’ through the world lookin’ for pieces of you? You think I didn’t see the wreck I left behind? I know what I did.”

“Then why are you here?” My voice trembled. “Why now?”

He looked at me like I was still the only song he remembered the words to.

“Because even now,” he said, soft and razor-sharp, “you’re still the only thing that makes me feel like I didn’t die all the way.”

The rain started then—slow at first, then heavy. Soakin’ my dress. Mattin’ my hair to my face. But I didn’t move. Didn’t wipe the water from my eyes.

Because it wasn’t just rain.

It was rage.

It was heartbreak.

It was every scream I swallowed the night he turned me.

“You ruined me,” I said. “And now you want me to weep for you?”

“No.” He blinked once. Steady. “I want nothin’ from you you don’t give me freely.”

“You’re a liar.”

“I was,” he said. “But I ain’t lyin’ now.”

I laughed, bitter and sharp. “So what? You want redemption?”

He shook his head. “That ain’t a road I get to walk.”

The silence that followed was thick. Biblical.

And then, slow—too slow—Remmick sank to his knees.

Not like a man prayin’.

But like one beggin’ the grave to let him stay buried.

“Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it,” he said, voice quiet and cracked around the edges. “You want me gone, I’ll disappear. You want me dead, well… you know better than most, darlin’. That ain’t never been easy.”

Rain slammed the earth in waves now, like it meant to bury every word between us.

I didn’t speak.

Didn’t move.

Just watched him kneel in the mud, pale hands open, head bowed like even he knew he didn’t deserve forgiveness.

His eyes flickered red in the stormlight.

Still beautiful.

Still dangerous.

Still mine—once.

And then the memory returned—

His mouth on my throat.

My scream breakin’ the sky.

The taste of betrayal before I even knew the word for it.

The night he turned me.

The night I stopped bein’ his salvation…

…and became his punishment.

He didn’t move.

Didn’t rise.

Just stayed there on his knees in the wet earth, eyes on me like I was a hymn he’d long forgotten how to pray, but still couldn’t stop hummin’.

“You don’t get to play the martyr,” I said, rain slidin’ down the slope of my jaw, voice low and level. “You don’t get to break somethin’ and call it love.”

His jaw worked, but he stayed quiet. Good. He was learnin’.

I stepped closer, slow enough for the mud to cling to my boots like memory.

“You think this—” I gestured at his posture, at the rain, the ache between us— “makes you smaller than me? It don’t. You still got teeth. Still got hunger. But now you got somethin’ else too.”

I let the silence hang for a breath.

Then another.

“My hand ain’t on your throat, Remmick. I ain’t pulled no blade. But you still follow, don’t you?”

His eyes flickered, faint red beneath the dark.

“You follow ‘cause you can’t help it,” I said, takin’ one more step. “Not ‘cause I told you to. But because I’m the ghost you ain’t never been able to bury.”

His mouth parted—like maybe he’d speak, maybe he’d beg again—but I beat him to it.

“You been searchin’ all these years thinkin’ I was the piece you lost.” My voice dipped lower, soft as a curse. “But maybe I was the punishment you earned.”

He flinched.

Just barely.

But I saw it.

Felt it.

“You ain’t on your knees ‘cause of guilt,” I said. “You’re down there ‘cause you know deep in your bones—I still got a leash on your soul.”

He looked up at me then.

Really looked.

And for the first time since he crawled back into my world, he didn’t reach.

Didn’t speak.

Didn’t beg.

He just watched.

Like he knew I was right.

Like he knew that no matter how far I’d run or how cruel I’d grown…

…I’d always be the one holdin’ the reins.

I turned without another word, walked back through the trees, each step heavy with the truth we couldn’t outrun.

And though I didn’t hear him rise—

I knew he would.

I knew he’d follow.

Because men like Remmick?

They don’t vanish.

They linger.

They haunt.

They wait for the softest crack in your armor, then slip back in like they never left.

But this time, he’d have to wait.

This time, I wasn’t runnin’.

And I wasn’t lettin’ him in, either.

Let him kneel in the mud.

Let him feel what it’s like to want somethin’ that won’t break for him no more.

Because even monsters got leashes.

And some ain’t made of rope.

They’re made of memory.

Of ache.

Of the one person who walked away—and meant it.

v═════༺♰༻═════v

Taglist:@jakecockley,@alastorhazbin,

[midniqhtt]

robert (bob) reynolds

masterlist • marvel • 05/14/25

˚‧⁺ ･ ˖ · ୨ৎ recs

𑣲 xerox pt2 pt3 I @ichorai

you had one last job before you were free. no more splitting, no more deaths. unfortunately, that job seemed to rope in four other assassins and a... a man in hospital-wear?

𑣲 the fling I @sacredsorceress

bob finds out that you had a one night stand with bucky a few years earlier and feelings bubble to the surface.

𑣲 therapy I @/sacredsorceress

𑣲 mocha I @/sacredsorceress

yelena decides to make it her mission to set up bob with her close friend.

𑣲 let go I @sunskisser

bob avoided you, and you had no idea why — till the night you help him out of a frenzy.

𑣲 the woes of bowties and missing puzzle pieces I @websterss

One day Bob having a rough day and void jumps out, creating quite a chaos. She tries to talk him through it but void being void thinking she’s a liability for them, he “consumed” her. Few moments after that he turns back into Bob & other people came back from void but not her.

𑣲 i see you I @cocastyle

𑣲 sneaking around I @callsign-swan

Bob doesn't mean to be sneaking around. But he can't help it. He's got a secret, and he wants to keep it that way. Too bad he's best friends with Yelena Belova.

𑣲 alone together I @/callsign-swan

For the last few years, Tony's daughter has been living out in the tower basement. She doesn't realise when Valentina buys the tower, not until she's being choked out by Sentry (turns out Sentry is a really sweet guy called Bob, who knew?)

𑣲 picnic day I @roanofarcc

when rain threatens a thunderbolts team bonding outing, per the request of Alexei, they turn to their resident weather-controlling team member to save their plans. 

𑣲 a bunch of teenagers I @mallory524

Bob has really started to like you, but he assumes you don’t feel the same way about him. You do though, and everyone seems to know that except Bob… and apparently also Walker, who really thought he had a chance

𑣲 in my arms I @woantohae

The Thunderbolts are constantly on missions, busy trying to do good and save whoever they can. One of them was Bob Reynolds, the defenseless yet powerful man who is part of this team and family. However, he doesn't participate in these missions so he can continue practicing controlling his powers. Despite telling them he's capable, the team prefers to give him more time to get used to them, until one mission, when a member of the team is injured. And all Bob can think about is the fury he feels when he hears Y/N being hurt. And how much he wants revenge on whoever did it.

𑣲 shadow I @/woantohae

Y/N loved the darkness because she could see the stars better. Void does everything in his power to make sure she can gaze at the starry sky, even if it means turning everything into darkness.

𑣲 like real people do I @froggibus

Bob seeks you out following a bad dream

𑣲 misunderstanding I @strkly

you and bob were inseparable. until he begins to ignore you and you have no clue why. when you’re injured after a mission gone wrong you’re finally able to find out why.

𑣲 darling I @fireinmoonshot

You always call Bob darling in private... until you accidentally slip up and use the nickname in front of the rest of the Thunderbolts.

𑣲 lethal touch I @hearts4johnwick

while training, all goes well until a move bob makes changes your concentration as you begin to relive your worst memory.

𑣲 stay with me I @scarletmika

Bob wants to feel useful, to truly be part of the team, but the others don't think he's ready. You take it upon yourself to teach him control, to guide him through. But mistakes will be made, and it might not be possible to keep the darkness from creeping back in once more.

𑣲 destiny or not I @/scarletmika

As The Darkhold foretold Wanda Maximoff's destiny, The Book of Vishanti foretold your own. You just didn't know how much of that destiny was intertwined with Bob Reynolds, until the day you met him in the vault.

𑣲 request I @lovebugism

you like taking care of bob on his bad days. he isn't quite sure why

𑣲 stitches I @skeltnwrites

Bob learns how to stitch a wound

𑣲 plainclothes man pt2 I @em1i2a3

Everyone at the compound knows Bob has a massive crush on you–except you.

𑣲 carry the zero I @/em1i2a3

You and Bob are sharing a room while the Avengers Compound is under renovations, which brings on a slew of new things to learn about one another.

𑣲 cherry waves I @/em1i2a3

You’ve been sick for a few days, so while the rest of the team goes out to do a recon mission, you’re on your own watching over Bob. One morning he comes to your room with a weird request.

𑣲 sailor song I @/em1i2a3

Bob is in love with you, but you can’t be what he wants.

𑣲 i wanna get lost with you I @/em1i2a3

After a rough night, you find yourself with a rare day off–the one that you take on the same day every year in memoriam for the fallen. So you head into the city to spend your feelings away on the only thing that makes sense to you: gifts for your favourite team of scrappy anti-heros…And Bob.

𑣲 a little bit of jam I @violetrainbow412-blog

𑣲 archives room I @owastie

you’re tasked with searching through the archives room to find some information on a new threat

𑣲 oh, scaling all your shadows I @swordgrace

plagued by nightmares, bob takes comfort in the one person who’s pulled him from the shadows time and time again — you.

𑣲 so high school I @pagesfromthevoid

𑣲 walk through darkness I @/pagesfromthevoid

𑣲 unfamiliar feeling I @ang3ltine

Bob was asleep for God knows how long, now that he has the chance at a better life. Who better to show him than you?

𑣲 admiration I @/ang3ltine

Being recruited by Valentina as part of the new Avengers (z) team was never part of your list of agendas. Yet here you were, doting on an awkward brunette.

𑣲 look what the cat dragged in I @eyelessfaces

you get bob a cat for emotional support; the cat adopts you as parents and is undeniably bound to bring the two of you closer.

𑣲 how to kiss I @worstghost

teaching bob how to kiss and accidentally slipping into a 20 minute makeout session

𑣲 the good side I @cosmictheo

bob loves you so much that he slowly begins to transform into a house-husband for you. and he loves it.

𑣲 fur-evermore I @ofstarsandvibranium

Because you're Bucky's assistant, you, and your service dog, Juniper, head to the tower to give him some files as well as meet the rest of his new team...including a very cute and slightly awkward, Bob.

𑣲 mr. oblivious I @/ofstarsandvibranium

Bob is sometimes oblivious to the fact that people find him attractive and/or like him. One of those people includes you.

𑣲 i dream of you even when awake I @deakyjoe

Your gift makes sleep difficult. Luckily, Bob is there to guide you through it.

𑣲 something special I @blank-potato

You’ve been the live-in doctor at Avengers Tower for a year, and Bob wants to get you something special to celebrate. Unbeknownst to him, that something special turns out to be a sex plant. 

𑣲 drabble I @undyingdecay

𑣲 peace in the darkness I @theonewiththefanfics

Bob knows Y/N isn't one to go back on her words. So when she doesn't show up to go through with their plans, he starts to worry. Luckily for him, Yelena knows how to break-and-enter. And doesn't mind invading her personal space.

[c4shm0neyxxx]

“Only I Hurt You”

Oneshot were seong je finds reader in his bed after he was out handling a couple of guys who had fought her while walking home in an alley way (he told her to go home but she went to his house instead)

The front door creaked when he opened it.

Blood still clung to his knuckles, dried into the creases of his fingers. His hoodie was soaked with someone else’s sweat, maybe some of his own, and the adrenaline hadn’t fully left his bloodstream yet. It rarely did.

They’d laid hands on you. That was enough to make him see red. Enough to make him track them down like dogs.

But the house was too quiet now.

Geum Seong-je kicked off his boots and headed down the dim hallway. The rain hadn’t stopped — he could still hear it hammering against the windows. He told you to go home. Told you to listen.

You never listened.

And when he stepped into his bedroom, there you were.

Curled in his bed, soaking wet, blood streaked down one arm, your lip split and trembling. His sheets were damp. Your clothes were stuck to your skin like a second layer. Your shoes were still on.

“You walked here?” His voice came out low. Barely controlled.

You didn’t look at him. Didn’t answer.

He crossed the room in two steps.

“You walked here. In the rain. After they touched you?”

You blinked. He could see the shiver you tried to suppress, your body reacting before your pride could hide it. The blood on your shirt wasn’t all dried. Some of it was still fresh.

“I didn’t want to be alone,” you whispered.

That cracked something in him.

Geum Seong-je didn’t speak for a long moment. He just stood there, fists clenched, chest rising slowly. Then, without a word, he knelt at the edge of the bed and started untying your soaked laces. You flinched when his knuckles brushed your ankle.

“I told you to go home,” he muttered. “But you came here, instead.”

Your voice was barely audible. “This is home.”

He froze. Just for a second.

Then he yanked your shoes off with more force than necessary and peeled your jacket away from your shoulders. It clung, resisting, your blood and the rainwater mixing into a mess that stained his fingers.

You tried to sit up, but his hand landed on your thigh — firm, grounding.

“Stay still.”

You didn’t dare disobey.

He left for a moment. You heard drawers open, the faucet running. When he came back, he had a towel, gauze, ointment, and one of his oversized shirts.

“Take the top off.” His tone left no room for argument.

You moved slowly, the sting in your ribs sharper now that the adrenaline was fading. He watched you, eyes narrow, jaw tight, like he was memorizing every bruise so he could repay them tenfold.

He cleaned the cut on your arm with terrifying gentleness, fingertips brushing over your skin like you were something fragile, breakable.

“You should’ve called me,” he murmured.

“You told me to leave.”

“You should’ve still called.”

Your eyes flicked up. “Would you have come?”

He paused.

Then leaned in.

“I’m always coming for you.”

The silence between you tightened, thick with something you didn’t know how to name. You winced when he pressed antiseptic to your split lip. He cupped your jaw to steady you, his thumb brushing your cheek, rough with callouses and blood.

“I handled it,” he said. “They won’t touch you again. They won’t touch anyone again.”

A beat.

“Did you kill them?”

His eyes didn’t flinch. “No. But I made them wish I had.”

The room went still.

“You scare me sometimes,” you admitted.

He brushed damp hair from your face. Then leaned forward and kissed your forehead — barely a whisper of contact.

“I know,” he said. “But I’m the only one who’s allowed to hurt you.”

You didn’t know whether to cry or kiss him.

So instead, you let him pull his shirt over your head, let him dry your hair with the towel like he’d done this a hundred times before. And when he climbed into bed behind you, one arm sliding under your neck and the other over your waist, pulling you close, you didn’t fight it.

You just let yourself be held. By the boy who broke bones with his fists and still handled you like porcelain.

Because somehow, in all this cold, bleeding chaos —

Geum Seong-je was the only warmth you had left.

[theonottsbxtch]

WHEN THE CITY FALLS | OP81/LS2

an: hello! so this is what ive been cooking up behind your backs recently, a 14k logan? oscar? fic i dont exactly know who the love intrest is per say but its a spiderman!oscar au. so enjoy this story as it has taken a long long time to write lol

wc: 14.8k

summary: three close friends drift apart when one disappears for two years and returns with wealth, ambition, and a dangerous invention. as his creation spirals out of control, the city teeters on the edge of destruction. in the chaos, hidden truths emerge, and one of them may be the only hope left to stop it.

NEW YORK IN THE WINTER WAS ALWAYS A LITTLE CRUEL. The wind rolled in off the river with a bitterness that got under your skin, finding the gaps between scarves and sleeves, and the sky sat heavy above the skyline like it had nowhere else to go. Snow hadn't fallen yet, not properly, but there was the threat of it in the air, sharp and metallic, like something unsaid.

She stood at the corner of Delancey and Ridge, boots damp from the puddles left by yesterday’s half-hearted rain, a coffee gone cold in her gloved hands. Across the street, the lights of a bodega buzzed with the familiar, uninviting warmth of too-bright fluorescents. She could hear someone shouting in Spanish two blocks down, the rumble of the subway far beneath her feet, and above it all, the ceaseless, aching pulse of the city.

Logan used to say New York had a heartbeat. That you could feel it if you were quiet enough. But Logan was never quiet for long.

She hadn't seen him in months.

Not properly, anyway.

Logan Sargeant had always been too much. Too sharp, too quick, too beautiful in the kind of way that hurt to look at for too long. He’d grown into a man that mirrored the city. Cold on the outside, burning with something dangerous just beneath the surface. Blond hair, now cut short, framed eyes too blue to be kind. His childhood had carved out pieces of him, taken soft things and turned them to steel. And still, for a long time, he’d been theirs, hers and Oscar’s. Until he wasn’t.

Oscar Piastri was different. Always had been. Quiet, but not shy. He had the sort of presence that didn’t need to announce itself. A boy with calloused fingers from too many sketchbooks and eyes that saw more than they ever let on. He still lived two floors above her in the same battered brownstone they’d all grown up in, still fixed her leaky taps when she asked, still brought her takeout when she forgot to eat. Sweet, reliable Oscar. But even he was changing, these days.

There were nights he didn’t come home. Cuts he didn’t explain. That distant look she caught in the reflection of a window, right before he smiled and asked her how her day had been.

Everything was shifting, and she could feel it, like standing on the edge of something vast, something waiting to fall apart.

She remembered a time when the three of them had belonged to each other. Summers on rooftops with cheap beer and even cheaper laughter. Nights spent stargazing through fire escapes, hands brushing by accident. Secrets shared like promises.

But that was before Logan disappeared for two years. Before he came back stranger than before—richer, smarter, colder. Before Oscar started vanishing into alleyways and coming back with bruises and excuses.

Now, something hung between all of them. Not quite memory, not quite betrayal.

And she was standing in the middle of it, still hoping, naively, foolishly, that maybe she could hold the pieces together.

Even as they splintered around her.

The wind changed, and she caught the distant clang of scaffolding in motion, another high-rise going up on the Lower East Side, another piece of sky eaten by glass and ambition. She turned down a narrow street flanked by graffiti-covered brick and bins overflowing with city decay, the coffee still untouched in her hand.

There were footsteps behind her: light, familiar.

"You're late," she said, without turning.

Oscar fell into step beside her, his jacket dusted with street grime, hood drawn up against the wind. There was something restless in the way he moved, like his skin didn't quite fit anymore.

"Sorry," he murmured, giving her a sheepish glance. "Had to... help someone out."

She didn't press. Not anymore. The last time she’d asked, he’d lied with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

"You look like you've been in a fight," she said instead, eyeing the faint bruise along his jaw.

He gave a quiet laugh. "You should see the other guy."

It was a joke, but it didn’t land. The silence that followed was too familiar. Worn in, like old denim.

She paused at a crosswalk, watching as a cab tore through a red light like the rules didn’t apply. That was the thing about New York. It moved too fast for second chances.

"I ran into Logan yesterday," Oscar said, and the words hit like ice down the spine.

She turned slowly, the name sitting between them like a fault line.

"Where?"

"Midtown. He was just... there. Like he hadn’t disappeared for two years. Wearing some tailored coat and that look he gets when he knows something you don’t."

That look. She knew it too well. The one that made you feel like a puzzle he’d already solved and was just humouring.

Oscar shoved his hands into his pockets, jaw clenched. "He said he wanted to talk. Said he was back for good this time."

"Do you believe him?"

Oscar didn’t answer right away. When he did, it was soft. Tired.

"I don’t know. He’s not the same."

Neither are you, she thought, but didn’t say it.

They walked the next block in silence. It was colder now, the clouds thickening, and her coffee had definitely gone bad. Still, she didn’t let go of it. Something about the weight of it grounded her.

"He asked about you," Oscar said suddenly, his tone unreadable.

Her throat tightened. "What did you say?"

"That you were still here. Still... you."

She looked away. That word felt fragile these days. Like it didn’t mean what it used to.

They stopped outside her building, the stoop still half-covered in yellow leaves that no one had bothered to sweep. The same chipped door. The same rusted letterbox. A world still standing while everything else was quietly coming undone.

Oscar hesitated, eyes lingering on her face like he was memorising it.

"Be careful, yeah?" he said.

"With Logan?"

He gave a short nod.

She wanted to ask him what he knew. What he suspected. But the city was humming again, loud and unrelenting, and she felt suddenly very small beneath it.

Oscar left her with a quiet goodbye and the echo of footsteps on cracked pavement.

She stood there a while longer, staring up at the sky as the first snow began to fall, soft, almost shy, like the city had remembered how to be gentle.

But she knew better.

Some storms didn’t come with thunder.

They came wearing familiar faces.

The lift in her building had been broken since August. The landlord kept saying it was “on the list,” but she wasn’t sure he even knew what a list was. So she climbed the stairs. Twelve floors, each one creaking like it might finally give in under her boots.

By the tenth, her breath was shallow, and her limbs ached with the kind of fatigue that had nothing to do with the stairs. She reached the twelfth landing, paused to collect herself, and then pushed open the heavy fire door.

He was there.

Leaning against the railing of the communal balcony like he'd never left. Like he hadn't vanished without warning and taken something irreplaceable with him. The skyline was a blurred grey behind him and for a second she almost saw the boy he'd been. Grinning, brilliant, with a laugh that carried across rooftops.

"Thought I heard someone dragging their feet up here," Logan said without turning, his voice still that maddening blend of silk and smirk.

She crossed her arms, wary. "You're not supposed to be up here. They locked this level last year after the whole scaffolding incident."

He looked over his shoulder at her, blue eyes lit with mischief and something darker. "Good to know some things never change. You, playing by the rules."

"And you, breaking them."

He laughed, low and easy, and it stung how much of her still responded to that sound.

"Come on," he said, pushing off the railing and walking towards her, hands in the pockets of a coat that looked expensive, like everything he owned now. "I haven’t seen you in how long, and that’s the greeting I get?"

She tilted her head. "You’re lucky you’re getting anything at all."

He stopped in front of her, closer than comfort allowed, and for a breath she thought he might apologise. But Logan Sargeant had never been good with guilt. He just looked at her like he was still trying to work her out, still trying to stay two steps ahead.

"You look the same," he murmured. "Only sharper. Like the city’s finally caught up with you."

"And you look like you just stepped out of a stock portfolio."

He grinned. "Guilty. I’ve done alright for myself."

She narrowed her eyes. "Doing what, exactly?"

He glanced away, then back, the grin fading into something more deliberate. Calculated.

"That’s actually why I’m here."

"Right. You didn’t just come back to loiter on rooftops and haunt old friends."

He chuckled again, but it didn’t reach his eyes. "I’ve been working on something. A project. Something big."

She didn’t answer, just waited, still as the concrete beneath them.

"It’s tech," he continued, leaning on the railing again, gaze drifting out over the city. "Osc—well, he wouldn’t get it. He’s got his whole... moral compass thing going. But you always saw things clearer."

"You mean I didn’t try to stop you when you crossed lines."

"No," he said, with a flash of sincerity. "You understood why I crossed them."

That silenced her.

"I need someone who can help me with the neurological interface part," Logan said after a pause. "It’s experimental. Military-adjacent, but I’m reworking the design. Smarter, more elegant. I’ve hit a wall."

"And you thought of me."

He looked at her again. This time, there was no smirk. Just that boy she used to know, hidden somewhere behind too many sleepless nights and bad decisions.

"I never stopped thinking about you."

The lights flickered above them, a thousand pinpricks in the corridor.

"I’ll send you the specs," he said, without much more, heading toward the stairwell. "Just have a look. That’s all I’m asking."

He paused at the door.

"I missed you."

Then he was gone.

And she stood there alone with her cold coffee and thoughts, because the boy she’d loved was still in there somewhere.

But something else was growing in him, too.

Something dangerous.

Her flat still smelled faintly of jasmine and burnt toast. Comfort and chaos in equal measure. She tossed her keys onto the counter, kicked off her boots, and tried not to think about how Logan had sounded when he said I missed you.

She failed, obviously.

The email came in not long after she’d switched on the little lamp by the sofa, its warm glow chasing away the creeping dusk. Subject line: Interface: concept files. No message, just the attachment. Classic Logan. All mystery, no manners.

She hesitated before opening it. Something in her gut twisted, instinct honed over years of knowing when things seemed fine but weren’t. Still, curiosity had always been her fatal flaw, and Logan had always known how to wield it.

The file was... extensive. Schematics, neural maps, prototype visuals. It wasn’t just “tech.” It was weaponry. Not in the conventional sense, but in potential. A sleek glider prototype integrated with AI feedback loops. A cognitive synchronisation helmet that could read and respond to neural signals in real time. And then there were notes in the margins, written in Logan’s exacting hand.

Emotional override needed. Current model reacts too strongly to fear.

Must correct aggression triggers. Still too unpredictable. Or not?

User = control. No limits. No interference.

Her heart beat faster the more she read.

It was brilliant. Unquestionably. Years ahead of what most companies were developing. But there was a coldness to it, a ruthlessness she didn’t recognise. Or maybe she did, and just hadn’t wanted to see it before.

She pushed the laptop away, stood, started pacing. There’d been late-night conversations once, Logan talking about power, about how the world didn’t reward kindness, about how if he had control, things would be different. Better. He’d laughed when she called him dramatic. Said she didn’t get it.

Maybe she hadn't.

Until now.

A knock rattled the door. Sharp. Three taps.

Her heart lurched, she didn’t know why, but she opened it without checking the peephole.

Oscar stood there. Hoodie up. Eyes wide.

“You saw him,” he said.

She nodded.

“He gave you something, didn’t he?”

She stepped back silently, let him in. He stalked to the kitchen like he lived there, which, in some ways, he always had.

“I didn’t open it right away,” she said, like it mattered.

Oscar didn’t look at her. His jaw was tight.

“He’s not just back to catch up,” he said. “He’s working with people. Dangerous ones.”

“How do you know?”

He finally turned, and there it was, that look again. Like he’d seen too much. Like he was balancing on a knife’s edge between exhaustion and something heavier.

“Because I followed him last night,” he admitted. “I saw him meeting with Oscorp defectors. People no one good wants to be seen with. And I found this.”

He pulled something from his jacket, crumpled, faintly singed. A test printout. Identical design language to the file on her screen. Same logo Logan had tried to scrub from the schematics. Only this version had a name scrawled across the top.

“Project Harpy.”

She stared. “Harpy?”

Oscar nodded grimly. “Old military codename. The original model was meant for field destabilisation, crowd control through terror. They scrapped it. Too unstable. Logan’s trying to rebuild it.”

She sat down, hard.

“So what do we do?” she whispered.

Oscar’s expression darkened. “We stop him.”

But she wasn’t sure if he meant to stop the project.

Or stop Logan.

She didn’t speak for a long time.

She just let Oscar talk while he moved around the kitchen like he needed to, like stillness might swallow him whole. He talked of what they could do with liminal information until the sunset. He had poured two mugs of tea even though she hadn’t asked, but at no point did she talk about the file, until she did.

The sun began to set through her small window when she pointed at her screen.

“He’s not building a weapon,” she said eventually. “Not just that. It’s like he’s building himself into it.”

Oscar’s brow furrowed. “What do you mean?” She hesitated. The words were thick in her throat. “He used to talk about it. Control. Power. Not having to be afraid anymore.” Oscar leaned against the side of the sofa, his shoulders taut. “He was afraid. All the time. You know that.”

“I know,” she said. Quiet. “I was there.” And suddenly she was back there. Fourteen, rain on the fire escape, Logan shaking with cold and rage after another row with his dad, her arms around him, his whisper against her skin: Don’t let go. Promise you won’t let go.  (By the way the devilish idea i have for this part)

And she hadn’t.

Not until he made her.

Oscar watched her carefully. Like he saw too much and said too little.

“You cared about him.” It wasn’t a question.

She didn’t deny it. She didn’t look at him either.

“It wasn’t just friendship,” she said finally. “But it never became anything, not really. Just moments.”

Oscar nodded slowly, like he was memorising the shape of that hurt. He didn’t push. He never did. 

“You should get some rest,” he said. His voice was gentler now. “You’ve been up since early this morning, and this isn’t something we’ll figure out in one night.”

She didn’t argue. Her limbs were heavy, and the anxiety had started to settle somewhere deep in her chest, too wide to dislodge. Still, when she walked toward the bedroom, Oscar followed, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

It had happened before. Sleepless nights and old films, falling asleep shoulder to shoulder on the sofa when the city felt too loud. This was just that again. Except it wasn’t.

He hesitated at the door.

"You sure?" he asked, quiet.

She nodded. "Yeah. I don’t want to be alone tonight."

And he didn’t say anything more. Just stepped inside and laid down on the far side of the bed, facing the ceiling. There was space between them. Not enough, not really.

She lay on her side, back to him, staring at the wall.

Her mind was still on Logan.

On the way he’d looked at her, like she was still his. The way he’d said ‘I missed you’ and made it sound like a promise and a warning at once.

He wasn’t just back with a plan. He was back with purpose. And she knew, deep in her bones, that he’d find a way to use what they’d shared. Twist it. Weaponise it, like everything else.

Oscar shifted behind her. She could feel the warmth of him, the rise and fall of his breathing.

He didn’t touch her. Didn’t try to.

But there was something unspoken in the air between them, like maybe he wanted to. Like maybe he had for a long time.

She closed her eyes.

And all she could see was Logan.

The morning came grey and low, clouds pressed against the windows like the city itself couldn’t quite wake up.

She blinked against the dull light, the bedsheets twisted around her legs. The other side of the bed was empty, cold already. Oscar was gone.

She sat up slowly, brushing her hair from her face, the weight of the night before still knotted in her chest. For a moment, she let herself wonder if she’d imagined him being there at all, just another ghost in an apartment full of them.

When she stepped out into the front room, the kettle was cooling down. A cup of tea waited in the microwave, hastily made, eliciting a small chuckle out of her. He’d always done the same thing in the past couple of months.

From the corridor she could hear her neighbour’s cat meowing for access to the balcony. She walked to the front door, turned the bolt then pulled, only to get halted by the chain still being on. 

She frowned.

Oscar couldn’t have left that on from the inside. Not unless…

She stopped herself. Told herself he’d maybe left through the fire escape even though he knew it was dangerous. 

But something about it itched at the edge of her thoughts.

Brushing it off, she let the cat out and walked back into the kitchen, pulling out the cold tea, not bothering to heat it.

Logan’s file still sat open on her laptop, the schematics staring back at her like a dare. She skimmed them again—lines and circuits, symbols she recognised from years of university lectures, annotated with little notes only someone who knew her would write.

You always hated redundancies. Fixed it for you.

Bet you’d tell me this is idiotic. (You’re probably right.)

It was the kind of thing he used to do. Tease. Impress. Show off. It used to make her laugh. Now it made her heart sit wrong in her chest.

She walked up to the laptop and noticed something she hadn’t earlier, then she grabbed her coat.

Fuck looking like a normal human being, she thought.

Then in her head she heard sixteen year old Logan in her head, “Who would even care if I walked out the house in my boxers, we’re in New York!”

The note had an address, the building across town where her and Logan went when Oscar was working. An old sublet on East 19th. Classic Logan.

She told herself she was only going to get answers, that she wasn’t seeking him out. 

The streets were quieter than usual. Maybe the weather had kept people in bed longer. Or maybe the city was holding its breath. 

She reached the building just after eight. Tall, red brick, windows like hollow eyes. The lift here did work, and she took it up to the aforementioned floor, her heart shuddering harader with every number that ticked past. It wasn’t normal for an office this big to be so empty.

When the doors opened, he was already waiting.

Like he’d known she’d come.

“Morning, love,” Logan said, barefoot, tousle haired, mug in hand. He looked too at ease in this makeshift studio. “Miss me already?” She stepped out slowly, ignoring the flutter in her chest. “Where is everyone?”

He tilted his head. “Funny thing about abandoned buildings. They tend to be, well. Abandoned.”

“You’re working out of this?” she asked, eyebrows lifting. “Seems dramatic, even for you.”

He took a sip of his coffee, unbothered. “Bit of peace and quiet does wonders. Besides…” He leaned against the doorframe, gaze trailing down her like a memory. “Nice of you to drop in first thing in the morning. Makes it less lonely.”

“You’re working out of this?” she asked, raising a brow. “Seems dramatic, even for you.”

He took a sip of his coffee, completely unbothered. “Bit of peace and quiet does wonders. Besides…” His gaze flicked over her, slow and deliberate. “Nice of you to drop in first thing in the morning. Makes it less lonely.”

She folded her arms. “You left that address on purpose.”

Logan didn’t deny it. Just smiled. “Wasn’t sure you’d catch it. But I figured if you did, you’d come.”

“I came for answers.”

“No, you came because you’re curious,” he said, stepping back into the open space of the studio. “Same as always. You can’t help yourself.”

She looked to her left where she could hear some whirring. The makeshift lab was cleaner than she expected, industrial, minimal. Wires looped neatly along the floor, diagrams pinned in lines along the concrete wall. In the centre, the table buzzed softly with low-power tech, a prototype glinting in the low light like something half-born.

She walked past him, slowly, keeping her distance. “Oscar said you’ve lost it.”

Logan gave a low laugh. “Oscar’s always needed someone to blame. You know that.”

“He’s not wrong about this.”

He came to stand beside her, not too close, just enough that she could feel the heat off him. His voice lowered.

“But you didn’t turn away either, did you?”

She looked down at the schematics spread across the table. Her fingers itched to move the pieces around, rearrange the formulae like puzzle pieces, solve it before he could ruin it.

“I’m not saying it’s safe,” she murmured. “But if I help you. If I take charge of the framework, maybe it doesn’t have to be dangerous.”

His smile deepened. “There’s the girl I remember.”

She shot him a sharp look, but he only stepped closer.

“I don’t need saving, you know,” he said, voice softening. “You’re not here to fix me. You’re here because part of you gets it. Part of you wants this.”

She swallowed. “Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Make it sound like we’re on the same side.”

“But we are,” he said, and this time his hand brushed hers as he reached past her, innocent, almost, except for the way his fingers lingered. “You wouldn’t be here otherwise.”

She could feel the pull of him then, quiet and dangerous, like gravity had changed its mind about how the world worked. Her skin was humming with it.

“I knew you’d come around,” he whispered.

Her breath caught, just for a second. His face was close now, the warm edge of his smile only inches from hers. Not cocky. Not smug. Something gentler. A softness that wasn’t supposed to be there.

And that’s what made it dangerous.

She should have stepped back.

That would’ve been the smart thing, the right thing. But her feet didn’t move, and neither did his, and between them was a silence that thrummed with everything unsaid.

Logan's eyes searched hers, not in that arrogant way he used to do when he knew he had the upper hand, but quieter. Something unreadable settled behind his lashes. Like he was trying to remember the shape of her from the inside out.

"You’re shaking," he murmured, voice barely above a breath.

She wasn’t. Not really. Just, wired. Overcaffeinated without the caffeine. Her nerves pulling taut in ways they hadn’t in years.

"No, I’m not."

"You are," he said, and there was something close to amusement in his voice, but not cruel. Just observant. Just Logan. "You always do, when you’re trying to make a decision too fast."

She looked down. At his hand on the table beside hers. At the blue glow of the screen reflecting off the metal. Her voice came out smaller than she meant it to.

"You don’t get to do that. Pretend like nothing’s changed."

His head tilted slightly. "Who’s pretending?"

"You left." She met his gaze again, steadier now. "You disappeared and let us believe—"

"I didn’t want you part of it," he said quickly, not sharply, but with a force that startled her. "You and Oscar. You still see the world like it’s got rules. I see it for what it really is."

"You think that makes you better?"

"No." He paused. "I think it makes me prepared."

She stared at him. "You’re planning something you can’t undo."

He didn’t argue. Just leaned in slightly, enough that his breath hit the edge of her cheek. “Maybe. But if you’re there to build it with me, then maybe it won’t need undoing.”

The worst part was, a part of her understood. Not agreed. But understood.

And that part of her wanted to reach for the plans. To take the mess he’d made and drag it into something better. Safer. Less like him.

Her throat was tight. “This isn’t fair.”

"What isn’t?"

"You. Doing this." Her hands balled into fists. "Looking at me like that."

He smiled again, soft. Painful. “Like what?”

“Like you’re still sixteen and I’m still stupid enough to believe you'd never hurt me.”

That landed. She saw it flicker through him, fast, behind his eyes.

“I never meant to,” he said quietly.

Silence fell again, sharp-edged and too loud.

Then, softer this time, gentler: “You don’t have to say yes right now. Just don’t walk away.”

She should. She should. But instead she found herself sitting on the edge of the table, just beside him, her shoulder brushing his.

She didn’t look at him. “This doesn’t mean anything.”

“Sure,” he said, a little laugh curling under the word. “Of course not.”

His thigh pressed lightly against hers. The contact was nothing. Barely there.

The distance between them had dissolved without her noticing, and now it was all heat and unspoken things sitting heavy between them.

The blue light of the schematics cast soft shadows across his jaw. He looked almost gentle like this, in the stillness. Almost.

And then her phone buzzed in her pocket, she pulled it out.

They both glanced down at the screen.

Oscar.

She froze.

Logan looked too, and smirked. “Well, well. Speak of the boy scout.”

She hesitated, thumb hovering over the screen.

“You should answer,” Logan said, casual, but something about the way he leaned back slightly told her he was watching very, very closely.

She swiped to pick up, bringing the phone to her ear. Her voice came out thin, too even. “Hey.”

“Where are you?” Oscar’s voice was immediate. Concerned. “I’m at yours, doors open but unless you’re hiding from me I can't find you.”

She glanced sideways, heart pounding. Logan had turned away, giving her space, but not really. His head was tilted just enough to hear every word.

“I’m getting bagels,” she said quickly. “Sorry. Forgot my phone was in my pocket.”

A beat. Oscar didn’t sound suspicious, just soft. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Just… needed air. I’ll be back soon.”

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll wait.”

She hung up before he could say anything else. The quiet in the room returned like a blanket pulled too tight.

Logan turned back to her, expression unreadable.

Then he reached out, slowly, fingertips brushing a strand of hair behind her ear before trailing lightly down to her cheek. The touch was maddeningly soft. Familiar.

“Some things never change,” he murmured, thumb grazing her skin. “You’re still covering for me.”

Her breath caught. She was furious at the way her chest responded to it.

“I used to cover for you when you skipped school or snuck out past curfew,” she said, voice sharp. “Or when your dad came asking where you were and I had to lie to his face.”

“This isn’t that,” he said, quiet now. “I know.”

She looked away, jaw tight. “Don’t make this something it’s not.”

His hand dropped, but the air still felt like it was holding its breath.

“I don’t have to,” he said simply. “You’re already here.”

Two weeks passed, just like that.

The city moved around her, traffic and sirens and steam rising from manhole covers, but it all felt quieter somehow. Like her world had shrunk down to two flats, a laptop, and a dozen unsent texts.

She was spending her mornings at Oscar’s, helping him track down fluctuations in the local power grid, strange pulses he swore weren’t natural, though he never quite said what he thought they were. Afternoons were spent in Logan’s repurposed studio, surrounded by circuitry, algorithms, and a headache that wouldn’t quite go away.

She told herself she was keeping both of them from doing something stupid.

Logan’s work had evolved. Rapidly. Too rapidly, if she was honest. The first few days were just sorting through the wreckage of what he’d built alone, poor shielding, over-ambitious neural syncing, feedback loops that would’ve fried the average person’s spine.

She’d streamlined it. Quietly, carefully. Introduced control parameters, adjusted the safety thresholds. He let her, too. Even seemed to enjoy having her close, watching over his shoulder like she was the only one who could keep him steady.

Sometimes he didn’t even say anything, just looked at her like he was memorising the way she moved.

Other times, he flirted like it was breathing.

“I still think the copper’s a bad call,” she muttered one afternoon, squinting at the prototype’s inner casing.

“Still bossy, I see,” Logan replied, crouching beside her. “Haven’t changed since you used to correct my spelling.”

“I was right then, too.”

He laughed, low and warm. “Yeah. You usually are.”

He was close again. He always was. There was always a reason for him to lean in, reach past her, touch her arm or shoulder in a way that felt like an accident and wasn’t.

And she let him. She told herself it didn’t mean anything. That this was about control. Keeping him from spiralling.

But when he looked at her, sometimes it felt like the ground wasn’t solid beneath her feet.

Meanwhile, Oscar…

Oscar had started keeping things from her.

She noticed it first in the small things. His laptop slammed shut when she walked in. A folder buried too deep in his hard drive. The time he said he was on a walk but came home bruised and didn’t explain why.

She didn’t push, not yet. But it stuck to her, that unease. Oscar didn’t lie. He never lied.

And that, somehow, made it worse.

“You’re working too hard,” he told her one night, curled up on her sofa, hoodie pulled over his head. “You haven’t had a proper meal in days.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not. I can see it.”

He passed her a takeaway container without a word. She took it. Ate. Didn’t mention the thin layer of grime under his fingernails or the split on his knuckle.

She couldn’t be in two places at once. Couldn’t keep playing translator between two boys who wouldn’t speak to each other, both of them caught in some war she didn’t fully understand.

But she stayed.

Because part of her believed she could still save this—save them.

Even if it cost her something she hadn’t yet named.

The prototype pulsed with light now. Not constant—irregular, like a heartbeat gone wrong.

She sat on the floor of Logan’s studio, cables tangled at her knees, half a dozen failed failsafes spread out in a messy sprawl beside her. The heat off the core was stronger than it had been yesterday. Too strong.

“You pushed it again,” she muttered, pulling off her jumper and tossing it aside. The room felt like a greenhouse.

Logan crouched beside the desk, tools in hand, utterly unbothered. “Tweaked the resonance field. It’s stabilising, relax.”

“No, it isn’t,” she snapped. “You’re running through safeguards faster than I can write them.”

He looked over his shoulder at her, smirking. “Don’t sound so impressed.”

She didn’t answer. She was too busy running diagnostics on the regulator he’d overclocked while she was out yesterday. Again.

“Logan, if this field collapses, you’re not walking away. I won’t be able to stop it next time.”

His smile faltered, just slightly.

“You could always walk,” he said after a beat, soft.

She didn’t reply. Couldn’t.

Because he knew she wouldn’t.

That night at Oscar’s, she barely spoke. She sat at the window while he worked on his computer behind her, typing fast, a faint tremor in his right hand. She stared down at the streetlights blurring in the rain, her thoughts still half in the lab.

Oscar’s phone buzzed. He glanced at it, frowned, then stood.

“I’ll be back in a bit.”

She looked over. “Now?”

“Yeah. Just need to check on something near the subway. Weird power spike.” He shrugged on his jacket.

“Want help?”

He hesitated. “No. It’s… not that kind of thing.”

She nodded slowly. “You’ve been saying that a lot lately.”

Oscar didn’t respond.

She found the first real clue two days later.

She was at hers, rummaging for the spare charger Oscar kept leaving behind, when she noticed his hoodie hanging on the back of her chair. Not unusual. But when she picked it up, something dropped out of the pocket.

A small, torn scrap of red fabric. Coarse. Like something from a costume.

And blood. Dried.

Her stomach turned.

In Logan’s studio, the tech was louder now. Humming, thrumming. Hungry.

“You need to slow down,” she said firmly, voice hoarse from too many sleepless nights.

He looked at her, really looked, and for a second there was a flicker of something that unsettled her.

“I can’t,” he said. “We’re so close.”

“Close to what?”

He didn’t answer.

She opened the interface, scanning the data. “You adjusted the neuro-link sequence without telling me.”

“I knew you’d try to stop me,” he said simply.

She stared at him. “That’s not how this works.”

“It is now.”

And still she didn’t leave.

The following night she didn’t sleep.

Not really.

Between the hum of Logan’s project, now an ever-present pressure at the base of her skull, and Oscar’s half-answers, dodged questions, and suspicious bruises, sleep had become more theory than reality.

The next time she saw Oscar, it was because she followed him.

She hadn’t meant to. She told herself she was just walking the same way. That she was being ridiculous. That the scrap of red in his hoodie pocket meant nothing.

But then he ducked down an alley. Pulled something from under his hoodie.

A mask.

Her heart stopped.

Not metaphorically. Actually, stopped.

She stepped back, too fast, her heel scuffing the concrete. A tiny sound. He heard it.

“Hello?” Oscar turned, eyes narrowing behind the red half-mask. The rest was still bunched in his hand.

She froze.

He stared. She stared back.

Silence swelled.

Then, quietly: “…You followed me?”

She didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know how to breathe, let alone speak.

Oscar’s shoulders dropped. His hand dragged down his face. “Shit.”

“You’re Spider-Man.”

It wasn’t a question. She already knew. Knew in the pit of her stomach, where every late night and bruised knuckle and sudden disappearance made a sick kind of sense.

He didn’t deny it. Just looked at her, gutted.

“I was going to tell you.”

“When?” Her voice was sharp. “Before or after I found your blood all over my living room?”

Oscar winced. “I didn’t want to put you in danger—”

She laughed. Bitter. “Bit late for that.”

She left before he could explain more. She couldn’t hear it, not then. Not while her phone buzzed again with another update from Logan’s build log, another late-night adjustment she hadn’t signed off on.

When she got back to the studio that night, the air felt wrong. Too charged.

The prototype was alive now. She didn’t know what else to call it. It moved, pulsed, responded.

Logan was there, barefoot, sleeves rolled up, eyes wild with possibility.

“You’re back,” he said, barely glancing away from the display. “Look at it. It’s listening to me now.”

“It’s not supposed to listen to you,” she snapped, storming in. “It’s supposed to run on code, not instinct.”

He shrugged, unapologetic. “I rewrote the framework.”

“You rewrote the laws of physics, Logan. That wasn’t the deal.”

He finally looked at her. Really looked. And for the first time in days, he frowned.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re asking me now?” she snapped. “After pushing this thing to near-collapse? After locking me out of your logs for twelve hours?”

“I knew you’d try to stop me.”

“You don’t get to cut me out and still act like we’re on the same team.”

The lights on the core flared, hot, blue-white. She stepped back.

“This isn’t what we started,” she said, quieter. “You’re not building something. You’re becoming it.”

Logan’s eyes softened, but it didn’t comfort her. It made her skin crawl.

“You sound like him.”

“Don’t,” she said.

“Why? He’s the hero now, yeah?” Logan’s voice was almost calm, but it carried teeth. “Little Mr Boy Scout. You going to run to him now? Tell him how to stop me?”

“I didn’t run to anyone. I tried to fix this.”

He stepped closer. Too close.

“But you knew. All this time, you knew you’d have to choose.”

She didn’t answer.

Because he was right.

And she hated that more than anything.

She didn’t remember getting home.

Her keys had slipped once at the door, hands shaking, and she’d stood in the hall for a full minute before trying again. Inside, the apartment felt alien, like she was walking through someone else’s life. Same chipped mugs in the sink. Same plant in the corner. But her breath wouldn’t steady.

She dropped her bag in the hallway, still half-zipped. Kicked off her shoes. Didn’t even bother with the lights.

She collapsed onto the sofa, knees to her chest, arms wrapped tight like she could physically hold herself together.

Then the tears came.

Silent at first. Just that awful stinging behind her eyes, the kind that made you clench your jaw until it ached. But then they spilled—fast and hot, her face buried in the sleeve of her hoodie, sobs breaking loose in sharp bursts.

She cried for Logan. For Oscar. For the version of herself that used to laugh when they bickered and dreamed about changing the world.

She cried because she didn’t know who to save anymore. Or if she could.

And eventually, exhausted, she crawled into bed and let the darkness take her.

Somewhere else in the city, Logan didn’t sleep.

He stood in the centre of his makeshift lab, hands trembling slightly with the excitement. He had done it. He had done it.

The prototype was alive. The neural interface he’d spent weeks perfecting hummed quietly beneath his fingertips. Every line of code he’d written, every sleepless night, all the warnings he’d ignored—he could feel it now, like a rush of euphoria. It was working. It was all working.

The helmet sat next to him, sleek, matte-black, perfect in its design. But that wasn’t the prize. No, the real victory was the neural link, the thing embedded deep into his spine now, fusing with him. The prototype wasn’t just a tool anymore. It was an extension of him. It was him.

He grinned, sliding the helmet onto his head with a steady hand. The system activated almost immediately, a soft pulse across his temples as the neural interface kicked in. He could feel it, like a second mind connecting with his own, feeding him streams of data in a way he'd never known before.

For a moment, there was only clarity. Pure, untainted clarity. He could see everything, every problem, every solution, unfolding right before him like an intricate map.

Logan’s breath was slow and deep, taking it all in.

“This is it,” he muttered under his breath, a satisfied grin spreading across his face. “I’m better than I’ve ever been.”

But something shifted in that moment. The device, still humming beneath his skin, pulsed again. Stronger. A sharp, sudden sensation rippled through his back as if a small surge of electricity shot through his spine. He flinched, but only briefly. It was... new. But it didn’t hurt. No, it was something else. Something... right. He wanted to feel it again. To keep pushing, to see how far it could go.

He let the neural link go further, feeling it sync even deeper. His movements were faster now, every thought sharper, more precise. His hands moved on their own accord, as if his body had learned a new language, a secret code he hadn’t known existed.

Then, with a sickening click, the mechanism inside him did something unexpected.

It shifted.

He froze as the connection between his mind and the device deepened, spreading like roots beneath his skin. His spine arched involuntarily. The sensation was so strong, like a burning thread threading into the base of his skull and down into his very bones.

“Shit,” Logan breathed, but his voice was strange to him. As if someone else were speaking through him.

The machine responded, not in words, but in need, an urgent pressure building in the back of his mind.

He could feel it now. A presence. Something more than just the tech he’d so carefully crafted. It wasn’t just a tool anymore. It was beginning to take control.

But there was no panic. No fear. Logan didn’t fight it. He welcomed it.

Because this... this was power. True, unbridled power.

The device shifted again. It was deeper now, rooted inside him, crawling into places his mind could no longer reach. He could feel something warm spread under his skin—a new sensation, foreign but thrilling. The neural link was more than he’d ever imagined, connecting him to a world of data, a world of control.

And that was when it happened.

The device, a part of him now, locked in.

A flash of metal. Then, suddenly, his back screamed as the device pressed itself fully into his body, sharp, invasive, but unmistakably his. He felt it—like a part of him had been replaced. A pulse of satisfaction rippled through him, and Logan gasped, arching his back with the sensation.

He laughed then. Giddy. Overjoyed.

“I knew you’d get it right, mate,” he whispered to himself, eyes wide with exhilaration.

Then, with an almost casual ease, he lifted his hand. The suit flickered to life around him, surrounding him like a second skin, sleek and dangerous.

Logan’s grin spread wider.

This was only the beginning.

It wasn’t long before Logan’s chaos began to bleed into the city.

The streets had always been a chaotic tangle of New York life, but now it was... different. A sense of purpose flowed through the air, heavier, more suffocating. The city had no idea what was coming for it.

First, it was the banks. Security systems shorted out, alarms blaring as vaults cracked open. But there was no robbery, just the vault doors hanging open in a strange, silent invitation. Then, the power grids flickered, like the entire city was breathing under his control. The hum of lights and machines warped, flashing erratically as if they were under a spell.

And then came the sky.

Logan hovered just above the city, a dark silhouette against the glow of Manhattan’s skyline. He watched as the skyline bent to his will, grinning, watching the chaos unfold. His body, still bound in that sleek suit, pulsed with the unnatural energy the machine had given him. His back burned with every pulse, but it wasn’t pain—it was power.

And the power tasted sweeter with every second.

Back at her apartment, she jerked awake.

A crash. Her eyes shot open. A sound too loud. Too close.

For a moment, she didn’t move. Just stared into the dark, trying to will the sleepiness out of her bones.

The next crash was louder. A thud against the fire exit door. Her heart skipped a beat.

She shot up, breathing shallow, slipping out of bed. She grabbed her phone for light, but instinct told her exactly what she’d find.

Her bare feet hit the cold floor, and she made her way towards the balcony, hesitating just before the door. The night air pressed against the glass.

She reached for the handle, taking a breath, and then—

The door swung open.

She froze.

There, standing tall and too at ease on the balcony, was Logan.

But he wasn’t the Logan she knew.

The suit he wore was alive with that strange pulse, glowing faintly like it was breathing. It wasn’t just a suit anymore. It was part of him.

He turned to her, a flicker of recognition behind his eyes, but it was distant. Cold. Something had shifted.

A slow smile spread across his face, but it wasn’t playful. Not the teasing grin from their past.

“Hello, love,” Logan’s voice was flat, empty. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”

She swallowed. “Logan...?”

He stepped closer, his eyes locked on hers with an unsettling focus. Then, without hesitation, he reached up and pulled off the helmet, tossing it aside.

And for a moment, everything was still.

His eyes, empty. Hollow. Not a trace of the boy she used to know. No warmth, no playfulness, just this void.

Her heart twisted painfully in her chest as the entire suit shifted, shrinking away from his body. It detached slowly, too slowly, as if the suit was resisting coming off. But eventually, the black, sleek material slipped away, revealing his bare chest. His torso was toned, but marked with strange, angular scars, and along his spine, there was a faint glow beneath his skin. The machine inside him, pulsing like a second heartbeat.

Logan stood there, chest rising with the faintest of breaths, eyes cold as ice.

“It worked,” he said, voice low, almost a whisper. “You helped me make it work. And now…” He took a slow step forward, closing the space between them.

She took a step back. “What... What are you doing, Logan?”

His lips curled upward into something that was not quite a smile.

“Doing?” He stepped closer again, his presence overwhelming, suffocating. “I’m taking control. Taking what’s mine. This city—hell, the world—it’s mine now. And I’ll do what I want with it.” He gestured to the machine on his back, an almost reverent look in his eyes. “I’ve earned this, haven’t I?”

Tears welled up in her eyes. Her body trembled, unable to contain the sharp, raw sorrow that hit her all at once. “Logan, please, this isn’t you. This isn’t what we wanted.”

Logan chuckled, a dark, cruel sound. “This is exactly what I wanted. This is the future. The one I should’ve had all along.”

The pain in her chest deepened, and she couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. She stepped back, clenching her fists as sobs wracked her body. “I—I tried. I tried to stop you...”

Logan’s gaze softened for a moment, just a moment. But it was fleeting. He stepped forward again, closing the distance.

“Sometimes people just need a little... push.” He brushed a hand across her cheek, the warmth of it a stark contrast to the coldness in his eyes. “Thanks for helping me get here. I couldn't have done it without you.”

She flinched away from his touch. “Please, Logan... don’t do this. You’re not a monster.”

He didn’t reply. He only stepped back, looking at her one last time, eyes unreadable.

“You’ve got your own path now. And I’ve got mine.”

With that, he turned, stepping into the night putting his helmet back on, the suit forming back around him as he disappeared into the city’s skyline.

She stood there, trembling, heart breaking in her chest. The tears fell freely now, silent, unstoppable.

She collapsed onto the floor, pulling her knees to her chest, shaking as she let it all out.

And then, almost instinctively, she reached for her phone.

Oscar’s name flashed on the screen, a call already incoming.

She answered before she even thought about it. Her voice was shaky, tear-filled.

“Os... Oscar...” She couldn’t hold it together. “I—I need you.”

“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice sharp with concern. “Where are you?”

“I—I’m at my apartment. But it’s...” She choked on the words. “It’s Logan. He’s... he’s gone too far.”

Oscar was quiet for a long moment. “What happened?”

“I couldn’t save him, Oscar,” she whispered. “He’s not the boy we knew. He’s something else. And I—I couldn’t stop it.”

Another beat of silence.

“I’m coming,” Oscar said, the urgency in his voice clearer now. “I’ll be there. Just hang on.”

But as she hung up, all she could do was sit there, hands trembling, staring at the dark, empty space where Logan had stood.

The city had just gotten darker.

She didn’t move.

The night had cooled, but she didn’t feel it. The city buzzed and breathed beneath her, unaware of the shift that had just taken place. The world looked the same, and yet everything had changed.

She stayed crouched, arms wrapped around her knees, eyes fixed on the spot where Logan had stood. The faint imprint of his boots was still on the concrete, the last ghost of him. The boy she’d known, laughed with, fought with, loved in some strange, quiet way, was gone. She’d seen it in his eyes. There was nothing left to reach for now.

The machine had taken him.

And worse, she had helped.

She didn’t hear him at first. There was just a breeze, a shift in the air, then the soft sound of the railing above just shifting.

Her breath caught.

She looked up.

There he was, silhouetted against the sky, crouched in that way only he could, black and red suit hugging to every line of him. The mask was off.

Oscar.

His brown hair was messy, eyes wide, searching. 

His expression dropped when he saw her.

“Hey,” he said, soft, like she might shatter.

She didn’t respond.

He stepped off the railing and landed with barely a sound, moving toward her like he wasn’t sure if she’d let him close. She watched him the whole time, as if she was trying to reconcile the boy next door with the man in the suit. She hadn’t let herself picture him like this, not really. But now, here he was.

Not a rumour. Not a hunch.

Spider-Man.

She blinked at him. “It’s really you.”

He nodded, a bit helpless. “Yeah.”

She let out a quiet breath, something bitter on her tongue. “God, of course it is.”

Oscar crouched beside her, close enough that their knees nearly touched. “I wanted to tell you so many times. I just, I didn’t want you to look at me differently.”

She let out a small laugh, raw and humourless. “Oscar, I’ve just watched someone I love walk off my balcony with a machine in his spine and a war in his eyes. You actually being Spider-Man barely makes the top three things ruining my week.”

His face faltered, and she saw the guilt tighten around his eyes. She hated that it made her want to comfort him, when she was the one falling apart.

“I’m sorry,” he said.

She shook her head. “It’s not your fault. None of this is.”

Oscar hesitated, then reached out slowly, his fingers brushing hers where they rested on the cold concrete. She didn’t pull away.

“Was it really that bad?” he asked.

She turned to look at him then, really looked at him.

“It wasn’t Logan anymore,” she said. “He took off his mask and there was just… nothing. Like he’s not even in there. Just this thing. This machine. And he thanked me. He thanked me, Oscar, like I was the final piece he needed to destroy everything.”

Oscar didn’t say anything. He just took her hand properly now, fingers curling around hers. She let him. It was warm. Grounding.

“I tried to save him,” she whispered. “I thought if I stayed close, if I made the plan safer, I could stop it getting this far. I really thought I could pull him back.”

Oscar’s thumb brushed over her knuckles. “You don’t give up on people. That’s what makes you... you.”

Her throat tightened.

“I think I’ve finally lost him.”

Oscar looked away, jaw tense. “Then we’ll stop what’s left of him.”

She glanced down at their joined hands, then back at his face—open, earnest, a little scared. She saw everything now. The boy she grew up with. The man he was becoming. Spider-Man. Oscar. All of it.

“I didn’t want you to be this,” she murmured, more to herself. “Didn’t want you to have to carry this, too.”

His voice was soft. “I don’t have to. Not alone.”

The tears came again, but quieter this time. She leaned forward and let her forehead rest against his. He didn’t move. Just stayed there with her, in the quiet, in the heartbreak.

The city roared on below.

But for a moment, there was only the two of them.

Still.

Together.

Waiting for the dawn.

Logan was quiet for a few days.

Too quiet.

The news blamed the citywide power outage on a transformer fault in Queens. A minor fire, a bit of faulty wiring, easily fixed. No casualties. Nothing to worry about.

She didn’t believe it for a second.

She’d seen the look in his eyes that night. The machine in his back hadn’t just bonded, it had chosen him. The silence that followed wasn’t peace. It was the kind of stillness just before the storm breaks.

She went through the motions. Helped Oscar with patch-ups, tracked minor disturbances around the city, and pretended, poorly, that she was sleeping at night. But the weight in her chest never lifted. It sat there, heavy and constant, like something had already begun to rot.

It was the fourth morning after Logan had crashed onto her balcony when she woke up with that feeling.

It wasn’t panic. Not quite. It was deeper. Older. Something primitive, instinctual. Like the way birds knew when to fly south. She blinked at the ceiling, her body still, her skin prickling.

She knew where she needed to go.

She didn’t shower. Didn’t dress properly. Just jeans, a hoodie, old trainers. The studio on East had been left untouched since Logan vanished into the sky, but the thought of it sat stubbornly in her gut.

She walked. No cab, no train. Just her and the cold spring wind, biting through her sleeves and keeping her sharp. The city was halfway between sleep and wakefulness, too early for full chaos, too late for quiet.

When she got to the building, the doors were jammed with a piece of scrap metal Logan had clearly wedged there. It took effort to get inside, but eventually, she slipped past the creaking frame and stepped into the hushed stillness of the lobby and up the stairs.

Dust floated in the light like falling ash.

The desk was as he’d left it. Blueprints scattered, wires half-soldered, bits of tech that buzzed faintly with residual charge. She moved carefully, like disturbing anything might trigger some dormant trap.

She pulled the schematics towards her, different from the ones he’d left on her laptop. These were earlier. Cruder. Full of aggressive red ink. One line circled in particular, over and over again: Adaptive neural integration interface.

She stared at it. Below, a note in his handwriting: If it bonds properly, it learns. Improves. Evolves.

She felt cold all over.

Then she noticed something else, a flash drive tucked beneath a paperweight. No label. Just a scratch down one side like it had been jammed into too many ports too fast.

She slipped it into her coat pocket.

That night, the city began to burn.

She didn’t see the first explosion, she felt it. The tremor in the air. The faint hum through the soles of her feet. Then came the sirens, the lights, the swell of panic rising like a tide.

People pointed at the sky. Phones were raised. Social media lit up.

A shadow swept across midtown, unnatural, too fast to be a drone, too erratic to be human. Police scanners scrambled to keep up. A laboratory in Tribeca collapsed in on itself. A substation in Brooklyn sparked, then died.

And then, at 1:07 a.m., she opened her window and saw him.

Logan.

Hovering, back arched with the pulse of the suit. The device on his spine glowed like an exposed heart, veins of light crawling up his neck, down his arms. He moved like liquid shadow, graceful, terrifying, wrong.

A building behind him erupted in a blossom of fire.

She gripped the window ledge, breath caught in her throat.

This was no test run. This was war.

She stayed by the window for too long.

Too long to pretend she wasn’t watching. Too long to convince herself she wasn’t hoping, praying, that he’d turn around and look at her. But Logan didn’t glance her way. He just soared higher, then dipped low toward the skyline, fast and sleek like a blade. The machine moved with him, or maybe he moved with it. It was impossible to tell where the man ended and the weapon began.

By the time the screaming sirens reached her block, she had already stepped back inside.

She didn’t turn on the light. Just the television.

Every channel was the same, static, noise, hysteria in different tones. Fires. Blackouts. Emergency services overwhelmed. Civilians told to shelter indoors. Then, on one of the live feeds, the camera caught it.

Spider-Man.

Oscar.

She sat on the arm of the sofa, staring at the screen like it might offer answers. He swung down from a rooftop, landed in the middle of a crumbling intersection, and caught a falling girder mid-air like it weighed nothing. There were shouts, flashes of red and blue. More drones, or things, shot past overhead. He flung himself after them without hesitation.

He looked small on the screen. Fragile, even. But she knew better. Knew how strong he really was. How he fought like it mattered.

Because it did.

Because it always had.

Her fingers twitched.

She stood up suddenly, heart racing now for an entirely different reason, and crossed the room to her coat. She pulled out the flash drive and stared at it, the scratch on its side catching the light.

Whatever Logan had left behind, whatever he hadn’t wanted her to see, it was on this.

She booted up her laptop on the kitchen table, fingers trembling slightly as the machine hummed to life. The screen blinked awake with a quiet whirr. She hesitated only a moment longer, then slotted the drive in.

It didn’t load immediately.

There was a pause. Like it had to think. Then the screen flickered, and a window opened on its own.

NEURAL LOG SEQUENCES – LOCKED

[Enter override credentials]

She stared at the prompt, breath held.

It was protected. Of course it was.

She tried the obvious first, his birthday, their old lab login, his mum’s name. All rejected. But then she remembered the sketchpad he'd carried around at university, the one he'd covered in graffiti-level drawings and handwritten equations.

There’d been a name on the back, in big crooked letters.

PYTHIA.

She typed it in.

The screen shivered, then shifted.

Override accepted. Begin sequence.

And then it began to unfold, video, files, half-recorded logs. Logan, speaking into a mic, wild-eyed, frantic, rambling. Diagrams of the neural link. Schematics she hadn’t seen before. And beneath it all, buried in subfolders, something labelled:

Secondary Protocol: Autonomous Control – ENABLED

Her heart dropped.

Autonomous?

She clicked into it, pulse quickening.

The code was dense, written in loops she couldn’t untangle on sight. But the gist was clear enough: the device was more than just a conduit. It was learning. Growing. Thinking. And if it ever deemed its host compromised...

Her hand flew to her mouth.

It could override him.

She stared at the screen, stomach twisting. Somewhere outside, the sky lit up again. The TV blared with the sound of sirens and glass breaking. Spider-Man’s suit flashed red across the screen as he leapt from another collapsing building.

She looked at him.

Then at the code.

Then back again.

Logan wasn’t the only one in danger now.

The whole city was.

She barely noticed the sun come up.

The screen cast her in blue light, soft and cold, as line after line of code scrolled past her tired eyes. Her fingers hovered above the keys, pausing only to scribble something down on a notepad already crowded with frantic, looping handwriting. There were equations she hadn’t touched since university, frameworks that were half-Latin, half-madness. Logan hadn’t just built this system, he’d buried it beneath ten layers of arrogance and desperation.

Some of it she recognised. Neural feedback loops. Power modulation. Synthetic stability thresholds. The kind of tech that could map a mind in real time and reroute its impulses. And then—

That secondary protocol again. Buried deeper than before, like it knew it shouldn’t be found.

Failsafe active. Host override requires dual-auth.

Failsafe. Dual-auth.

She exhaled shakily, raking a hand through her hair.

He’d written a backdoor. Somewhere, hidden in this madness, Logan had coded a way out, but it needed two keys.

Hers… and his.

A laugh escaped her, dry and bitter. Of course. Even in his descent, he’d tethered himself to her. Even now, when he was burning the city to the ground, he’d built the lock with the hope. No, the assumption, that she’d come looking for it.

That she’d come for him.

Outside, the chaos was escalating.

More sirens. The screech of tyres. At one point, a distant blast shook the windows in their frames, and dust from the ceiling rained down onto the table. She barely flinched. The TV was still on, the volume low, but the footage was relentless.

Buildings damaged. Streets overrun.

Spider-Man caught on every screen, swinging, diving, shielding people with his body, his suit scuffed and singed. And always trailing behind him, a blur of green and black and red, fast as hell and twice as cruel.

Logan.

Or what was left of him.

She pulled her focus back to the code. She couldn’t think about Oscar now, couldn’t think about the way his voice had trembled the last time they’d spoken. Couldn’t think about the ache in her chest when Logan had said her name like it still meant something.

All she could do was work.

She didn’t have a suit. Or powers. Or a symbol to rally behind. All she had were her hands, her brain, and the blueprint of a boy she’d once known, before the noise, before the machine, before the world shifted beneath their feet.

So she dug deeper.

Piece by piece, she traced the architecture. Tried to isolate the command lines. She could see where it had learned him, mirrored his rhythms, his instincts, his anger. It didn’t just amplify Logan.

It became him.

But it was still code.

And code, at the end of the day, could be broken.

She scribbled a new set of instructions. A loop. Something rudimentary. Crude. It wouldn’t dismantle the suit, but it might delay it. Mute the feedback for just long enough to slip in a second override. If she could get close enough.

If Logan hadn’t already been consumed entirely.

Her hands stilled.

And for the first time in hours, she allowed herself to feel something.

Not fear.

Not guilt.

Resolve.

She snapped the laptop shut, tucked the flash drive into the pocket of her jacket, and grabbed the notebook.

There was still time.

Not much.

But maybe, just maybe, enough.

She ran.

Half of Manhattan was still gridlocked from the chaos, so she took side streets, back alleys, her boots slick from rain and city grime. The wind had picked up, warm and electric, the kind that came just before another storm. By the time she reached the gates of the old university lab, dusk had begun to stretch long fingers across the skyline.

The side door was still jammed the way she remembered, too old to lock properly. She slipped inside.

It was all exactly as they’d left it years ago. Dust on the shelves. Faint smell of solder and burnt coffee. A poster on the far wall still read “Innovation Starts With Curiosity”, curling at the edges from time and apathy. She moved quickly, muscle memory taking over. Lights on. Equipment powered up. She opened her laptop, connected the drive, started reworking the patch code.

The room filled with the hum of machines, old fans stirring warm air as night fell thick outside the narrow windows. It was like stepping back in time, except everything was burning now, and she didn’t have Logan at the next station over making jokes under his breath.

She barely registered the sound of footsteps behind her.

Not until the door creaked.

She turned, already knowing.

Oscar stood there, mask in hand, hair sweat-dampened, face drawn tight with exhaustion and something close to fear.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said, his voice low.

She didn’t look up from the code. “And you shouldn’t be out there alone.”

He stepped inside, glancing once around the room like it was foreign to him. “I was at the dockyard. He’s not slowing down.��

“I know.”

“I mean it,” he said, more firmly now. “That thing, it’s not Logan anymore.”

She paused. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, just for a second.

“I can fix it.”

Oscar’s silence filled the space like smoke. She finally looked at him.

“I can,” she repeated, quiet but certain. “He built it with an override. I found it. I just need time.”

Oscar came closer. “He almost levelled a power grid and threw a firetruck into the East River.”

“I know,” she said. “But I can’t just, leave him. Not like this.”

He ran a hand through his hair. “It’s too dangerous. You get close to him again and he won’t let you walk away.”

She didn’t answer.

Instead, her mind flicked, uninvited, to a memory.

Summer. They were nineteen. Still cocky, still stupid, still full of fire.

She’d fallen asleep on the floor of this very lab, cheek against her notebook, and woken to find Logan sat beside her, hoodie half-off, legs stretched long in front of him. He’d scribbled something into her notes in his messy handwriting.

Don’t drool on the equations. It’s not cute.

She’d punched him in the arm. He’d grinned like he always did—sharp, dangerous, charming.

But then he’d looked at her.

Really looked at her.

“D’you think we’ll still be here in ten years?” he asked, quiet, for once. “Changing the world and that?”

She’d snorted. “We’ll be lucky if we haven’t blown up the chemistry block.”

He’d gone quiet again. Then: “If I ever do something stupid. Proper stupid. You’d stop me, right?”

She’d blinked at him, half-asleep. “Course I would.”

He’d smiled.

“Good. Then I won’t need to be scared.”

The memory faded, ripped away by the whirr of her laptop and the weight of the moment.

“I promised him,” she said softly, eyes burning now.

Oscar stood frozen for a long moment, then exhaled. “You’re not sleeping. You haven’t eaten. You can’t carry this alone.”

“I’m not alone.”

“Yeah?” His tone was sharp now, but not cruel. Just scared. “Because it feels like you’re walking into fire and locking the door behind you.”

She didn’t reply. She just turned back to the screen and started typing again, faster this time. She felt, more than heard, Oscar step back. The sound of the door closing behind him was softer than expected.

She didn’t cry.

Not this time.

There wasn’t time for that.

The hours bled together.

She barely felt them pass.

The world outside could’ve stopped spinning and she wouldn’t have noticed, except it hadn’t. It was spinning faster, spiralling downward, chaos growing in concentric rings. And every minute she didn’t find it, Logan moved further out of reach.

He was losing control.

She could feel it, see it in the footage that looped endlessly in the corner of her screen. At first, there’d been a strange precision to his destruction, almost deliberate. Now it was messier. Unpredictable. The drones no longer moved like extensions of him; they twitched erratically, glitching mid-air before launching into full attack. Bridges crumbled, rooftops sparked and smoked. People fled from shadows they didn’t understand.

He wasn’t just hurting the city anymore.

He was unravelling with it.

The code showed the same thing. She saw it in the neural sync logs, spikes and crashes in the feedback loop. Moments where Logan fought the system and lost, over and over again. The machine was still learning, evolving, tightening around him like a vice. Every time he lashed out, it pulled tighter.

God, Logan…

She didn’t sleep.

Didn’t eat.

She drank cold coffee from the faculty fridge and paced the lab like a caged thing, the override protocol always just out of reach.

And then, just past four in the morning, it surfaced.

Buried beneath three false folders, nested in what looked like corrupted code. A failsafe, just like she’d suspected, but not for stopping the machine entirely. That would’ve been too clean. Too merciful.

No, this was something else.

SYNC INTERRUPTION: Host Reboot

Her pulse kicked.

She opened the code and began skimming, fast, desperate. If she could isolate the connection for even twenty seconds, she might be able to destabilise the link between Logan and the core AI. That would give him time, her time, to force the manual override and reset the system.

It wouldn’t destroy the suit.

But it would give her a window.

She was shaking now. With relief. With adrenaline. With something dangerously close to hope.

She hit compile, shoved her hair out of her face, and turned to the TV as she reached for her phone.

The channel blinked into view.

Breaking news. Live feed.

Midtown skyline. Fires glowing like veins through the dark. Smoke curling into the morning light. Cameras struggled to keep up with the movement, drones dipping and swerving above a cluster of skyscrapers. Then—

A flash of red.

A figure swinging in low, catching the edge of a crumbling crane and launching upward again.

Oscar.

She stepped closer.

The camera jerked suddenly, and then, there he was. Logan.

Hovering like a shadow against the buildings, wind flattening his hair, the exposed machine in his back pulsing with frantic light. He wasn’t wearing the full suit now. His shirt was gone, and the interface curled like metallic vines across his spine, lit from within. His face was twisted, something between euphoria and rage, and for a second, even on screen, it looked like he was screaming.

She pressed a hand to her mouth.

The skyscrapers. It had to be downtown. She could get there.

She could end this.

She grabbed her drive, stuffed it into her jacket pocket, and ran from the lab without even shutting the door behind her.

The city was on fire.

Not literally, though close enough. Sirens howled through the dawn, lights ricocheted off glass towers, and somewhere above it all, two shapes danced a deadly arc across the skyline.

She sprinted through the last blocked-off street, breath ragged, shoes pounding against the pavement. Her lungs burned. Her head was ringing. But she could see them now, Oscar and Logan, silhouetted against the breaking light. The drone-suit glinted with a mind of its own, flaring whenever Logan lifted his arms, the neural plates at his back twitching like muscle.

He was slipping, completely.

She pushed through the crowd, ignoring the yells from NYPD, ducking a toppled barricade and scrambling over the scorched bonnet of a car. A figure swung low—Spider-Man—webbing across a collapsing crane, then launching himself up again.

Then he saw her.

He landed in front of her so fast the wind nearly knocked her over.

“You shouldn’t be here!” Oscar’s voice was muffled by the mask, but his posture was tight, shoulders hunched, heart in his throat. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’ve got it, Oscar, I’ve got the override, I can stop it!” she said, pulling the flash drive from her pocket, her hand trembling.

“You don’t understand,” he said, stepping closer. “It’s not him anymore, he’ll kill you.”

She shoved past him. “Then let me die trying to save what’s left of him!”

Oscar hesitated, but it was enough time for her to break into a run, heading towards the fire escape of a nearby tower.

“I’m serious!” he shouted. “You need to get back, now!”

Then: thwip.

A line of web shot past her, too fast to dodge, and stuck to her wrist, yanking her sideways. She screamed as her hand was slammed against a metal bollard, locked in place with a quick twist of white tensile silk.

Her chest heaved.

“Oscar!” she yelled, her voice shattering the air. “You didn’t—you can't—!”

He froze at the sound of his name.

It hung between them like smoke.

She realised too late what she’d done, called him that, here, in front of everyone.

His masked head tilted, almost slowly, like the moment itself had hiccuped. Then he backed away, leapt upwards into the fight again, vanishing behind clouds of debris and twisted scaffolding.

Her arm pulled at the webbing. It wouldn’t give.

“Fuck—fuck—fuck’s sake!” she muttered, kicking at the post.

A man nearby, mid-forties, in a delivery jacket, hovered awkwardly. “Uh—d’you want help with that?”

She looked at him, wild-eyed. “Yeah—yes—get it off!”

He reached into his satchel, pulled out a penknife. “Mate of mine works NYPD. Says these webs dissolve in acetone, but, don’t have any, so…”

“Just cut it!” she snapped.

With a few frantic scrapes, the fibres began to tear, and her wrist came free, red-raw but usable.

She was already running.

The rooftops. She needed height. A direct line of sight to Logan’s core. She dodged a toppled pylon, shoved open a cracked door, and started up the emergency stairwell of the nearest skyscraper.

Ten floors. Fifteen.

Her legs screamed.

But she had to get to him.

Had to make him hear her.

Because if she didn’t, he’d be gone forever.

The door to the rooftop flew open with a slam that echoed off the concrete.

Wind slapped her in the face, hot with smoke and static.

Below, the city churned like something alive, sirens and screams, the low thrum of failing power grids, the crackle of burning air. But up here, it was clearer. She could see everything. The skyline was broken in half, and above it, like a god gone rogue, Logan hovered.

The machine in his back pulsed, erratic now, convulsing in jagged beats. It glowed an unnatural blue, veins of energy crawling up his spine like lightning caught mid-strike.

She dropped to her knees near the roof’s edge, tugged her laptop out of her bag, jammed the flash drive into the side. Her fingers flew.

The code opened like a wound.

Override sequence. Neural interrupt.

Come on. Come on.

Far above, Logan turned mid-air.

The suit twitched.

Her screen glitched. Static burst across her files, like interference from a signal too close, too aware.

She gasped as her laptop jolted in her hands.

The machine had noticed her.

“Oh, shit.”

A whine built in the air, low and sharp like feedback from a speaker. Logan’s silhouette flickered, just for a second, and then he dived.

Straight for her.

She scrambled to her feet, laptop tucked against her chest, backing towards the roof’s water tank. Her heart beat so loud she thought it might break through her ribs.

He landed like a thunderclap, skidding across the concrete.

The metal across his body sparked and shuddered, the plates shifting of their own accord, iridescent and alien. But his eyes, when she dared meet them, were still blue. Still his.

Almost.

“What do you think you’re doing?” His voice came out raw. Filtered. Like the machine was speaking through him.

She gritted her teeth. “Finishing what I started.”

The interface on his spine whirred, and without warning, a drone peeled off from his shoulder, slicing the air between them. She ducked, just as it fired, blasting a chunk from the water tank behind her.

The shockwave threw her sideways, her laptop skidding across the gravel.

She reached the device just as Logan’s boots crunched against the roof behind her.

“You’re clever,” he said. “Always were. That’s what I liked about you.”

His voice faltered for half a second—glitched again.

She clicked into the override field, half-blind with panic. “You still like me, Logan?” she whispered, not looking up. “Or is that just the parasite talking?”

A pause.

Then a guttural sound—half-laugh, half-growl.

Another drone rose beside him.

She had seconds.

Fingers flying, she bypassed the firewall. The override sequence popped into place—final confirmation blinking red.

“Don’t,” Logan said, stepping forward. “You do this… I might not be able to stop what comes next.”

She looked up. Her face was streaked with tears, hair whipped wild by the wind.

“I know,” she whispered. “But I’m still going to try.”

And she hit enter.

The override hit like a jolt, Logan staggered, a distorted scream tearing from his throat as the neural plates along his back sparked violently. One of the drones spun out mid-air, crashing into the neighbouring rooftop in a shower of metal and flame.

She crawled forward, watching in breathless horror as the machine writhed against him. It was peeling, slowly, like something alive being torn from flesh. Wires sparked where metal met spine, smoke curling upwards into the dawn.

And for the first time in weeks, she saw him.

His chest heaved. His eyes flickered—blue, clear, human.

“Logan?” she breathed.

He looked at her. And for a second, just a second, it was him. Her Logan. The boy with the bright smile and sarcastic mouth and stupid drawings in her notebooks.

Then another drone swooped low overhead and she ducked, heart hammering. Across the sky, Oscar was still fighting, swinging between cranes and girders, webs snapping taut as he tore drones apart mid-flight.

The machine shrieked through Logan’s mouth, and suddenly he turned on her again.

She scrambled backwards, nearly tripping over loose cabling. Her laptop was fried, screen cracked down the middle, override incomplete. He stumbled after her, his movements disjointed, like the machine was losing control but still fighting to keep him moving.

Her hand hit something cold.

A metal pipe. Bent and rusted at the end.

She didn’t hesitate.

With a cry, she swung it, hard. It caught him across the side, knocking him sideways. Sparks flew from the exposed tech in his back as he dropped to one knee, groaning.

“You have to fight it!” she screamed. “Logan, please, you have to fight it!”

His face twisted, not rage, not pain. Fear.

Then the parasite’s voice came, warped and layered, more hiss than speech. “You should’ve let him die.”

He stood, half-dragging his limbs, half-possessed by the thing trying to survive.

And then, it happened.

The edge.

The roof was crumbling under the chaos. A drone hit one of the girders supporting the fire escape, and Logan, caught in the aftershock, stumbled backwards, right to the ledge.

His heel slid.

He tried to steady himself, but the machine spasmed, twisting his body the wrong way, making it worse.

She bolted forward without thinking.

He slipped.

“No, Logan!”

Her hand snatched his wrist just as he went over the edge.

They teetered there, weight balanced on the brink of nothing.

His eyes locked on hers.

“I’ve got you,” she whispered, voice cracking.

He was trembling. The machine twitched violently across his spine, cables whipping against the wind. For a terrifying second, it looked like it might rip him out of her grip.

Then, in the quiet, broken like a breathless memory, he said it.

“Don’t let go,” he choked. “Promise you won’t let go.”

Tears streamed down her face. “I won’t,” she said. “I never would.”

Her fingers ached with the strain, the sharp bones of his wrist slipping against her grip. The metal was hot, burning hot, sparking and writhing as the machine fought back, twisting Logan’s body unnaturally, trying to pull him down.

“No—no, I’ve got you—Logan, hold on!”

He was trying. God, he was trying. His free hand clawed at the ledge, feet scrambling against thin air. But the parasite wanted free, it wanted to fall, to vanish into the wreckage, to consume him entirely.

And he was so tired. She could see it in his face.

He looked up at her, lip bloodied, eyes filled with a kind of quiet terror. “I don’t— I can’t—”

“Yes, you can!” she sobbed, whole body shaking. “You’re not going to die down there! Not like this!”

But the slick of oil and blood and smoke was too much. Her grip slipped.

“No—no, no, no—”

And then he fell.

“LOGAN!”

The scream tore from her like it ripped something inside her open. Raw and ragged, it echoed across the rooftops, down the streets below, every inch of heartbreak threaded through the sound of her losing him.

Oscar, mid-air, froze.

He turned toward the sound, toward her scream, and saw Logan drop like a stone through smoke and broken glass.

No hesitation.

Oscar dived.

He twisted through the air, webs snapping out towards building edges, traffic lights, anything he could latch onto.

The wind howled in his ears.

He reached out, arms outstretched—

Come on, come on—

And just before Logan vanished into the chaos below, Oscar caught him.

The impact jostled them both hard, nearly yanking Oscar’s shoulder out of its socket, but he held on, webbing them into the side of the nearest tower, both of them swinging low before slamming into a scaffold.

Above, she collapsed to her knees, gasping for air, hands still out like she was trying to grab him back from the edge.

She didn't realise she was still crying until the salt hit her lips.

Her voice was hoarse now, the scream still lodged in her chest.

But he was alive. Somehow.

They were both alive.

She didn’t remember how she made it down. She flew through the stairwell, lungs burning, knees nearly buckling with each turn. Her ears rang with the sound of her own blood rushing, feet slipping on concrete, heart pounding so violently it felt like it might give out altogether.

The scaffolding came into view at last, twisted and dented where they’d landed.

And there—

Oscar was kneeling beside Logan, the mask torn halfway off his face, chest heaving. His hands were slick with blood and oil, arms braced around Logan’s body as he leaned in and yanked.

A wet, sickening crack echoed out as the machine tore free from Logan’s back, an unholy thing of metal and wire and exposed circuitry, screeching as it detached. Logan let out a strangled cry, barely conscious.

“Jesus—” Oscar swore, tossing the machine away like it burned him. “I need a medic! We need, someone call an ambulance!”

She sprinted the last few steps, nearly falling onto her knees beside them.

Logan was sprawled out, blood spreading beneath him. His chest rose in shallow, stuttering breaths, skin pale, eyes fluttering.

She reached for him, cradling his face in shaking hands. “Logan—Logan, stay with me, yeah? It’s me, I’m here—just stay with me, please—”

Her voice cracked, a sob breaking free as she pulled him against her, his blood soaking into her sleeves. He didn’t move much, just the faintest turn of his head toward her, like he knew.

“I couldn’t save you,” she whispered. “But I’m here. I’m still here.”

Behind her, Oscar stood frozen.

He watched as she held Logan, rocking him gently like they were sixteen again, back before any of this, back before wires and drones and masks.

His hands, still trembling from the fight, curled into fists at his sides.

This was the girl he’d grown up with. The girl he’d loved quietly, patiently, always from the corner of the room. The girl he thought, maybe, one day.

But here she was. Crying into Logan’s chest like the world had just fallen through her hands.

Oscar looked away.

The sirens wailed in the distance now, growing closer.

And all he could do was stand there, watching her stay for someone else.

Oscar didn’t wait for the medics.

Didn’t wait for her to say anything, or even glance back.

He just pulled his mask down over his face again, jaw tight, breath sharp. The webline hissed as it latched to the edge of the building. And then, he was gone. One smooth motion, vanishing into the skyline with a thud of wind and fabric.

She didn’t even see him go.

One week later:

The hospital smelt like antiseptic and regret.

Late afternoon light filtered in through the blinds, striping the floor in gold and grey. Machines beeped steadily, too steadily, and the occasional murmur of nurses bled in from the corridor beyond.

Logan lay still in the bed, tubes in his arm, bandages pressed tight across his ribs. The scars down his spine were fresh and angry, burnt-in reminders of the thing that had burrowed into him. He hadn’t said much since they’d pulled it out. Mostly, he just stared.

The door creaked.

Oscar stepped in.

No mask now. Just him. Shoulders tense beneath his hoodie, one hand still faintly grazed and bandaged. His eyes flicked to Logan’s, but neither of them spoke straight away.

It was the first time they’d been alone in weeks. Maybe months.

Logan gave a faint smirk, dry as dust. “Thought you’d swing in through the window.”

Oscar didn’t smile.

“I wanted to look you in the eye when I asked why.”

A beat. The machine beeped in the silence between them.

Logan’s gaze drifted back to the ceiling.

“You wouldn’t get it.”

Oscar stepped closer, brows furrowing. “Try me.”

For a long time, Logan didn’t speak. He looked… small. Not physically, Logan was still tall, still built like he could hold the weight of the world, but there was something hollow behind his eyes now. As if the parasite hadn’t just burrowed into his body, but had found the last untouched bit of him and snuffed it out.

“I was tired,” he said eventually. “Of being nothing. You remember what it was like. Always someone better, always someone smarter. I thought… I thought if I made it mine, I could control it. The chaos. My name would mean something.”

Oscar’s jaw clenched. “So you built a machine that nearly levelled the city. Brilliant.”

“She was trying to help me.” Logan’s voice was quiet, bitter. “She believed in me. Even when I didn’t.”

Oscar looked away at that, just for a second.

Then he stepped closer to the bed, eyes hard.

“You used her.”

“I loved her,” Logan snapped, voice cracking like brittle glass. “And maybe that makes me worse. But don’t stand there pretending you didn’t want her to choose you.”

Silence. Electric. Sharp.

Oscar’s fists were tight at his sides now, but he didn’t move.

“You broke her heart,” he said, softly. “And you’re not the only one who has to live with that.”

He turned toward the door, one hand already reaching for it, before pausing.

“She’s not here,” he said without looking back. “Because she’s tired, Logan. Because she nearly died trying to save you.”

Logan didn’t respond. He just lay there. Staring at the ceiling. Staring at nothing.

The door clicked shut.

And Logan was alone again.

the end.

taglist: @lilorose25 @curseofhecate @number-0-iz @dozyisdead @dragonfly047 @ihtscuddlesbeeetchx3 @sluttyharry30 @n0vazsq @carlossainzapologist @iamred-iamyellow @iimplicitt @geauxharry @hzstry @oikarma @chilling-seavey@the-holy-trinity-l @idc4987 @rayaskoalaland @elieanana@bookishnerd1132 @mercurymaxine

[milfshotss]

Title: The Wolf and The Ghost

Pairing: Ambessa Medarda x Reader

Summary: After the war ends, Ambessa is left haunted by the loss of the one person she truly loved, Reader, who vanished after she chose ambition over their relationship.

Warnings: None

MEN & MINORS DNI: 18+ ONLY!!!

————————————————————————

The war ended, and the world kept turning. Cities rebuilt. Alliances were redrawn in blood and ink. Monuments went up to honor the dead. And Ambessa Medarda stood in the center of it all, a general, a strategist, a war hero.

And utterly alone.

She had the world’s respect, yes. Power in abundance. But no one to share it with.

Because you were gone.

You left her before the final siege. You’d watched too long from the sidelines as she let ambition carve the warmth out of her. You gave her warnings, soft at first, words by candlelight, hands on her cheek, begging her to choose you. But war always came first.

You left without ceremony. No goodbye, no note. Just vanished. She came home from council chambers to an empty apartment and a silence so complete it roared.

She told herself you’d come back. Of course you would. You loved her.

Didn’t you?

⸻

Weeks turned into months. The war ended, but she didn’t go home, what was left of home, anyway, with your scent long gone from her sheets?

Instead, she went looking.

First, she sent letters to your family. No answer. Then she sent soldiers. No sign.

After that, she went herself.

She walked through mud-soaked markets and highborn halls. She questioned people who hadn’t seen you in years. She hunted you like an enemy, her desperation barely hidden beneath sharp words and colder threats.

“Tell me where she is,” she hissed to a man in Piltover who claimed he once sold you paints. “I’ll burn this district down if you lie to me.”

He hadn’t lied. He just hadn’t known.

She searched for you in cities scarred by war, in the ruins of Zaun, in the red-lit brothels of Navori, even in the temples of Ionia, hoping maybe you’d gone there seeking peace, something she’d never been able to give you.

But every time she thought she was close, the trail went cold. You were always one step ahead, like you knew she was coming.

Sometimes, she thought you were punishing her. And maybe she deserved it.

⸻

She began to see you in dreams. Not the gentle ones no, Ambessa didn’t get those. Hers were jagged. You stood at the edge of her battlefield, drenched in blood and rain, whispering, “You never chose me.” She always woke with your name on her lips and her hands clenched in her sheets, furious with herself for dreaming at all.

She kept your locket in her coat pocket. The one you gave her the night before you left. She never opened it, she couldn’t. It felt like a grave.

⸻

Then came Zaun.

A diplomatic mission, they said. Negotiations, they said. But Ambessa didn’t give a damn about the papers. Something told her, intuition, maybe that you were here.

It was raining, because of course it was. The city always seemed to weep.

She wandered for hours, cloak soaked through, eyes burning from smoke and memories. And then, down a crooked alley with flickering lights and the smell of tea and burnt bread, she saw a shadow behind a rain-streaked window.

And her heart stopped.

You were sitting at a low table, face half-lit by a lamp. You looked… different. Softer, quieter. You had lines around your eyes that hadn’t been there before. But you were still you. Still her.

Ambessa didn’t enter like a general. She entered like a ghost.

The bell above the door didn’t ring. Or maybe she didn’t hear it over the roar in her ears.

You looked up.

She watched you freeze.

No tears. No smile. No embrace. Just silence.

“I heard you were alive,” you said.

“I was,” she rasped, voice wrecked. “But not without you.”

You blinked. Looked down at your tea.

“That’s dramatic. Even for you.”

She didn’t laugh. She couldn’t.

“I looked for you,” she said.

“I didn’t want to be found.”

“I know.”

You looked up at her then, eyes tired. “So why are you here?”

“Because I don’t want to win if I have to do it without you.”

You exhaled, slowly. “That’s not how it works, Ambessa. You made your choices.”

“I made the wrong ones.”

You nodded. Said nothing.

She sat, uninvited, desperate now. “Tell me what to do. I’ll do it. You want me to leave the empire? I will. You want me to beg? I—” her voice caught, “—I’ll kneel. I’ve done worse for far less.”

You stared at her. Something in your expression cracked, and your voice came quieter than before.

“You think I wanted you to suffer? That I left to punish you?”

Ambessa said nothing.

“I left because staying was killing me. Because I loved you, and you loved war.”

She bowed her head. The rain outside seemed to hush, waiting.

“I don’t know how to be what you deserve,” she whispered. “But I want to try. If you’ll let me.”

You were quiet for a long, long time.

Then, slowly, you reached across the table. Your hand touched hers.

Her breath caught like a sob in her throat.

“I’m not who I was, Ambessa.”

“Neither am I.”

A beat.

“…Then maybe we can meet again. As who we are now.”

Your fingers tightened around hers. And for the first time in a year, the storm in her chest began to calm.

————————————————————————-

[oopsiedaisydeer]

ꜱᴛᴜᴄᴋ ʙʏ ɢʟᴜᴇ

…𝘪𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘥𝘢𝘪𝘴𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘯 𝘢 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦

slow burn, angst, secret identity, unrequited love?, flirting, longing, vulnerability, intimacy, anonymous relationship, crush, love square?

word count - 1k

His phone was dead.

“FUCK,” Chris exclaimed loudly in the empty street, taking his cap off to run his hand through his hair. A nervous habit he’d never quite grown out of. 

He couldn’t believe how wrong the night had gone. Everything had slipped from his control so fast. He struggled to maintain his breathing, desperate not to haave a fucking panic attack right outside a party with all his peers.

He shoved his phone into his pocket and pushed the worried thoughts of Daisy from his mind, and before he knew it, he was sitting alone on the late-night bus, hoodie up, head leaning against the cold window. The city outside blurred by, wet with leftover rain, streetlights flickering like they were unsure if they wanted to stay awake.

The night had gone sideways. Not in a dramatic, movie-scene kind of way. Just quietly, a slow unraveling. One moment he was talking to a girl who laughed too easily and touched his arm like it meant something, and the next, he was staring at a message he hadn’t seen in time.

He still felt sick about it.

He wondered where she was now. Daisy. If she’d panicked when the call cut out, like he had, or just accepted it from him. If she’d messaged him, tried to call him back, anything. Chris wanted her to be worried, but not too much. She was his calm in the storm.

The bus rocked gently as it turned a corner. Chris looked up. A few rows ahead, a girl sat curled near the window, chin resting on her hand. There was something about her posture that made him pause, something soft, and his eyes traced her for a moment. She wasn’t looking at him. And before he could place why she caught his attention, she was standing up, pressing the stop button, and stepping off into the dark.

He was left alone on the bus.

When he got home, the lights in the kitchen were off. Everyone else still out. Chris plugged his phone in with shaking fingers, and as soon as it lit up, the guilt surged.

3 messages. 1 missed call.

He didn’t hesitate. He called her.

The line rang once. Twice. Then, a soft “hello?” came through the speaker.

She sounded tired. Not upset. Not exactly. Just… quieter than usual.

“Daisy,” he breathed, sighing deeply as he sank onto the couch. “God, I’m so sorry. My phone died, and then I…”

“It’s okay,” she said.

Chris blinked. “Wait — what?”

“You don’t have to explain, Sun. I’m… I’m not mad.”

“Oh, Daisy,” He sat forward. “Shit. I was a proper asshole. I hate how tonight went and I’m really sorry. This isn’t how I wanted tonight to end at all.”

He heard the slight shuffling of her moving on the other end. “It’s alright.”

“Still. I want to apologise. That’s not how– that’s not how friends should act.”

Silence. Then, gently…

“Who were you talking to?”

He exhaled through his nose. “I don’t know. Just some girl. Camila. She came up to me, started talking, flirting. I thought maybe she was... you. At first. But obviously she wasn’t. And I didn’t stop it. That’s on me.”

She didn’t say anything right away. He could hear the faint sound of a blanket shifting on her end.

“I was excited to see you,” she said simply, the soft sound of her voice soothing him. “Mostly scared though.”

His chest tightened. “I wanted to see you too. I really did. I just… I messed up. I got caught up in something stupid, and I missed you. That’s... on me.”

A pause.

“Can I make it up to you?”

She laughed tiredly, the sound rippling through his nervous system.

Chris blinked, voice earnest. “Please. Anything.”

“Okay.”

“How about a movie?”

He swore he heard her smile as she asked him, “Through the phone?”

“Obviously. I’ve got some chips and a can of pepsi. You?” He glanced at the kitchen, standing up to grab the food already. 

“Popcorn, iced tea and some chocolate.”

“Romantic.”

They both laughed. The call felt lighter after that.

“If you were actually here,” she said teasingly, “I’d make you give me the good pillow.”

Chris grinned. “Joke’s on you. I’d already have it behind my back.”

“Rude.”

“Comfortable.”

They counted down then and hit play at the same time. Chris lay back, phone on speaker next to him, their shared commentary crackling through the line — giggles, gasps, groans about cheesy dialogue. Like they were side by side, not miles apart.

Halfway through, during a lull in the film, she said it. Not accusingly, just honestly.

“It kind of hurt. Hearing that you had been with someone else.”

Chris closed his eyes. “I know. And I’m sorry. I wasn’t really with her. I just... got distracted. I didn’t mean to let you down.”

Another long silence fell between them.

A question that had been bubbling in his chest for weeks now kept threatening to spill from his lips, especially after what had happened. He pushed it down again and again, instead mumbling or laughing softly in response whenever she spoke.

As the film neared its end though, he couldn’t help it.

“Daisy, d-did you, um even r-really want to meet me?” he couldn’t help the stutter, a childhood mannerism that he hated.

She didn’t reply right away. He thought maybe the call had dropped again, but when he checked the screen, it was still connected. It tore him open, the silence, making him feel more and more vulnerable as he waited for her answer.

“I think maybe we should wait,” she said at last, her voice quiet. “A little longer. Before we try again.”

“Okay,” he said, her reassurance spreading slowly like warm water. “I’m okay with that.”

They said goodnight not long after, her voice soft with sleep. A sharp feeling prodded his guts as he heard her yawn, the sound dulling the pain just slightly. He lay back, picturing Daisy curled up in bed, what it would be like if they were together, just like he did most nights. 

The movie credits rolled on, the screen a soft blue glow in the dark.

Chris hated lying.

dividers by @bernardsbendystraws ꨄ

a/n: i forgot to post this last night because i passed out but here u go

[vampiilure]

close.

Summary: after not coming back on a supply run, Daryl gets nervous. He ends up going to look for you which does not turn out too well, but he wasn't going to let you rot out there.

Daryl Dixon x fem!reader

Genre: angst, hurt comfort, romance, slow burn, recovery

WC: 3513 

The yard outside the prison had grown quiet.

Too quiet for Daryl's liking.

He stood near the gates, crossbow slung over his shoulder, chewing at the inside of his cheek as he stared down the road like he could will you to walk up it. You were late- way too late.

Two nights gone, and you still had not come back from what was supposed to be a simple supply run to a gas station barely five miles out.

Rick had said to give it time. Maybe you got holed up somewhere. Maybe you were laying low. Even Hershel tried to calm him, saying there wasn't sense in throwing yourself into danger unless you knew there was still someone to find.

But they didn't get it. Not the way Daryl did.

You weren't just another body in the group. You were different. Tough. Quick. Smarter than most. You didn't just vanish, not unless something went real wrong.

So the next morning, he packed a bag, told Carol not to wait up, and slipped through the gate before anyone could argue. Didn't tell rick. Didn't need to. Just followed his gut, and the trail you'd left behind.

“Dumbass,” he muttered to himself, pushing through the tree line. “Shoulda gone with her.”

The forest swallowed him fast. It always did. But he was used to that. Used to moving through the trees like a ghost, eyes low, ears sharp. And now, every snapped twig made his skin crawl. Every blood smear on bark, every footprint half-buried in the mud, it was all he had.

He hadn't eaten in nearly a day. Didn't feel like it. Couldn't stomach much when your face kept flashing’ through his mind, pale and still and gone.

Couldn't let that be real.

By the second night, a cold rain started to fall. He didn't stop. Just pulled up the hood on his jacket, kept movin’. He spotted a crumbled fence half-covered in vines near an old maintenance building off the back road. Most folks would have passed right by it.

But not you.

He crept closer, crossbow drawn, eyes scanning for movement. That's when he saw it- blood on the concrete. A drag trail. Boot prints. One of ‘em was smaller than the rest.

His stomach turned.

He pushed the door open with a hard shoulder.

“Y/N?”

No answer.

He stepped inside, flashlight bean cutting through the dark. And there, curled up against the wall behind an old vending machine, you were.

You looked like hell.

Sweat-slicked skin, lips cracked, side wrapped tight with a torn up t-shirt soaked in blood. You blinked slowly at the light, too weak to lift your head.

“Shit,” he hissed. He dropped beside you, fingers twitching like he didn't know what to touch first. “You outta your damn mind?”

Your lips twitched into a faint smile. “Missed you too.”

He let out a breath, half a laugh, half a choke. “You're a damn pain, y’know that?”

You blinked at him, heavy lidded. “You came..”

“Course I did.” his voice dropped low, barely a rasp. “Ain't leavin’ you out here to rot.”

You tried to speak again, but your head rolled, and your body went limp against the wall.

That snapped him back into motion. He ripped open his pack, pulled out water, gauze, anything he had left. “Stay with me,” he muttered under his breath. “C’mon, girl. Aint like you to give up.”

He worked fast, cleaning the wound the best he could, wrapping your side with shaky hands. You flinched, whimpered, and every sound carved something raw into his chest.

When he finally lifted you into his arms, you felt too light. Like a whisper. Like if he held you wrong, you'd break apart.

He carried you back through the trees, every mile heavier than the last. You drifted in and out, sometimes whispering his name, sometimes not saying anything at all. He answered every time, even when you couldn't hear him.

“It's alright,” he murmured, low and rough. “Gotcha now.”

By the time the prison walls came into view, dawn was breaking. Orange light spilled over the yard. Maggie was on watch- eyes wide when she spotted the two of you stumbling out of the treeline.

“Open the gate!” she yelled.

Daryl didn't stop. Didn't speak. Just pushed through, jaw set tight, eyes locked straight ahead as he carried you past everyone and into the infirmary cell. Hershel took one look and nodded, telling him to lay you down.

But Daryl didn't leave.

He didn't say nothin’ to nobody as Hershel moved around the cell , getting supplies, asking quiet questions that he barely registered. He just stood there, jaw clenched tight, watching your chest rise and fall like if he blinked, you might stop breathing.

Once you were stable, far as Hershel could tell, he pulled up a chair, sat down beside the cot, and didn't move.

Hours passed like that. The light outside faded to gray, then dark again. The others came by in quiet bursts, carol, maggie, even glenn, but he barely looked at ‘em. Just gave curt nods and kept his eyes on you. Didn't matter what they said. You were breathing, and that was all that counted.

At some point, Carol brought him a tray, soup, bread, and water. He stared at it for a while before taking the water. Didn't touch the rest.

His mind wouldn't shut off. Everytime he looked at you, all he could see was your body slumped in that filthy shed, skin hot as fire, lips barely moving. He'd been two days too late. Two days where anything could have happened. Bitten. Torn apart. Left screaming and alone. The thought made his stomach twist, fists curl.

You were tough. He knew that. Hell, you’d made it back alive, hadn't you?

Still didn't stop the quilt eating through his insides like acid.

Should've gone with her. Sholda insisted. Shouldn't've let her go alone.

He looked at your face, the way your lashes twitched in sleep, brow creasin’ now and then like your dreams were heavy. There was a smudge of dirt along your temple, and a faint bruise on your jaw that made his hands clench all over again.

Daryl shifted in the chair, leaned forward, elbows on his knees. His voice came out low and rough, just above a whisper.

“Dumb as hell, runnin’ off on your own,” he muttered, eyes locked on your hand resting limply on the blanket. “Coulda got killed out there.

He swallowed har, shook his head.

“Thought i’d lost you.”

The words sat heavy in the air. No one heard ‘em but you- and you weren't awake to answer.

So he just stayed there, staring at you like he could hold you together with just his eyes.

That night, he didn't sleep. Not even when Hershel told him it was okay to rest, that you were gonna pull through if the fever stayed down. He just grunted and stayed planted in the chair, foot tapping now  and then, fingers twitching like he needed to keep movin’

Sometime near dawn, you stirred.

Not much- just a shift of your head, a small inhale through cracked lips. But he was on his feet in a heartbeat, hovering close, heart jackhammering in his chest.

“Hey,” he said, voice softer than it’d been in days. “You with me?”

Your eyelids fluttered. slowly , painfully, you peeled your eyes open, blinking at the blurry ceiling, then turning your head toward him.

“Daryl..”

He let out a shaky breath and dropped to one knee beside the cot, one hand hovering near your shoulder. “Yeah. S’me. you're alright now.”

You looked at him like you weren't sure if he was real.

“Thought i dreamed you,” you rasped.

He shook his head slowly. “Ain't no dream. I got you out. Brought you back.”

Your fingers moved sluggishly under the blanket, brushing against his. He didn't pull away.

Didn't know what the hell to do with the way that small touch lit somethin’ up in his chest.

“You stayed,” you whispered.

“Course I did.” 

His voice cracked slightly, and he looked away, jaw tightening. 

“Weren’t gonna leave you out there,” he added after a beat, quieter. “Ain't somethin’ i could do.”

Silence settled between you again. Not the bad kind. The kind that said everything that didn't need speaking.

Finally, your eyes started to close again, the exhaustion still putting you under.

But your fingers didn't let go.

And neither did he.

The days passed slow.

Your fever broke on the second night, and after that, it was like the whole prison exhaled. Carol brought clean clothes. Beth sat with you in the evenings and hummed soft songs. Herschel came by with careful, practiced hands and told you that with rest, you’d be alright.

But he never left.

He took laying on the floor next to your cot. Didn't say much- never did- but every time you opened your eyes, he was there. Carvin’ something into a scrap of wood. Making arrows. Watching you. Like he didn't trust the world to keep you safe unless he was staring it down himself.

And he didn't hover, not really. Just moved around you like gravity kept him in your orbit.

He brought you water, sometimes food if he thought you’d eat. Never asked how you were feeling. Just gave you things and muttered things like “Eat this,” or “Drink up.” and didn't wait for thanks. But you saw it in his eyes, the tension that only eased when your color started to come back, when your voice stopped rasping.

One morning, you tried to sit up by yourself.

Daryl was across the room, fiddling with the strap of his crossbow. You didn't get far, just pushed your elbow back under you and winced when pain bloomed sharp in your side.

He was beside you before you could blink.

“What the hell’re you doin’?” he snapped, one hand hovering over your shoulder, not touching, but close. “You ain't ready to be movin’ yet.”

You breathed through the ache, biting back a groan. “I'm fine. Just..stiff.” 

He gave you that look. The one that said you ain’t foolin’ no one.

“Coulda tore somethin’ open,” he muttered, reaching behind you carefully. “C’mere.”

You didn't fight him when he helped you ease upright, arms bracketing you like a shield. His hands were rough, calloused, and warm where they steadied your back. You felt his breath on your neck, and for a second, neither of you moved.

Then he pulled away like you’d burned him.

“Tell me next time,” he said, voice low. “Don't go pushin’ it.”

You nodded, watching the way he sat back down- arms crossed, foot tapping against the floor like he was angry, or nervous, or both. Probably both. That was daryl.

He stayed quiet after that. But later that night, when you were almost asleep, you felt the blanket get tugged up over your shoulders. His fingers brushed your arm just a second longer than they needed to.

You didn't say anything.

Didn't need to.

The next few days blurred together. You were able to walk again- slow, with help. And every time, it was Daryl's hand you leaned on. Sometimes his arm wrapped around your waist, firm and steady, keeping a sharp eye on everything around you. Like he thought the walls might crumble if he looked away.

And it wasn't just the help.

It was the way he watched you.

Not just checking to see if you were hurting. Not just keeping you safe.

It was something else. Softer. Quieter.

Like he didn't know what to do with the thing in his chest, the one that clenched every time your smile flickered toward him. The one that twisted when you winced, or leaned on him, or said his name too softly.

One evening, as the sun dipped low behind the watchtower, you sat outside in the prison yard with a blanket around your shoulders, trying to enjoy the fresh air. Daryl stood a few feet away, leaning against the fence, carving again. You could tell by the angle of his head that he wasn't really focused.

“You okay?” you asked.

He looked up, blinked like you’d pulled him out of something. Shrugged. “Yeah.”

You tilted your head. “You been sittin’ with me for almost a week. Dont think ive seen you sleep.”

He looked away, jaw working. “Ain't nothin’. Just keepin’ watch.”

“Daryl,” you said, voice softer now.

He turned to face you then, brows drawn, like he wasn't sure whether to be mad or embarrassed. “Ain’t ‘cause I had to,” he muttered, eyes flickering toward you and away again. “I wanted to.”

The silence that followed stretched, thick as smoke.

You felt the weight of it settle between you. Warm. Fragile. Dangerous. 

But you didn't break it.

You just looked at him, and let the words sit there- unspoken, understood.

He cleared his throat, shifted on his feet. “You cold?”

“A little.”

He didn't ask permission, just crossed the space between you, shrugged off his jacket, and laid it over your shoulders like it was nothing.you clutched it tight, breathing in the scent of leather and smoke and something that was just..him.

 He sat beside you, not touching, just close.

The sky above turned violet. The wind picked up. But you didn't move, and neither did he.

You weren't fully healed yet. Not really/. But the ache in your side had dulled to a whisper, and the weight in your chest had lightened now that you could breathe in something other than recycled air and antiseptic.

So when Daryl found you by the gates, hands on your hips, eyes scanning the trees like they were calling to you, he didn't waste time.

“Farmstead a couple miles out,” he said, nodding toward the road. “Ain’t been touched far as i know. Could use the backup.”

You tilted your head. “You askin’ or tellin’?”

He gave a shrug, shoulders rolling lazy under his vest. “You're comin’.”

You met his eyes, squinted in the sun. “You sure I can keep up?”

His lips twitched- just a little. “You fall behind, i'll carry your ass.” 

You smirked. “Promise?” 

He rolled his eyes and turned. “C’mon.”

That was all you needed.

The walk through the woods was quiet. No need for small talk. He didn't do it, and you didn't need it. The leaves overhead whispered in the breeze, dappled sunlight dancing over the both of you as you made your way along the overgrown trail. You caught him glancing back every so often- small flicks of his eyes, quick scans to make sure you weren't lagging or hurting.

You didn't say a word about it, but your heart caught every time.

The farmstead was all crumbling wood and broken glass. Crows perched on the fence posts like watchmen. Daryl pushed through the door first, crossbow up, body moving in that quiet, practiced way that reminded you just how many times he’d done this.

You followed close.

You cleared it together, him upstairs, you downstairs. The home was dead, empty. But there were cans in the pantry, a few usable blankets, a cracked bottle of iodine you knew Hershel would be grateful for.

He came down with a tired look in his eyes.

“Kid’s room up there,” he said low. “Still got toys on the floor.”

You didn't respond. Just rested a hand against his arm for a second as you passed by. He didn't flinch, but he did look at you like maybe that touch had said more than either of you could explain.

You thought maybe you’d head straight back. But instead of turning down the main road, he jerked his chin toward the woods.

“Gonna make camp,” he said. “There's a spot. Ain't far.”

You didn't argue.

The clearing was hidden, half-sheltered under a rock shelf, with a small ring of blackened stone where fires had burned before. Daryl got one started quick, the orange glow catching in the lines of his face as he crouched coaxing the flame with steady hands.

He didn't say much as he passed you a can of peaches and opened one for himself. The two of you sat close to the fire, your knees nearly brushing.

You watched him in the firelight, the sharp planes of his face shifting in and out of shadow. He was quiet. Had been the whole time since you left the farmstead. Not cold, just in that headspace he slipped into when he was thinking too much. 

“You always come here?” you asked.

He gave a small nod, eyes on the flames. “Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Used to be quiet,” he said with a shrug. “Could hear things comin’.”

You smirked faintly. “Not ‘cause you liked the peace?”

His jaw twitched. “Ain't about likin’ it. Just…was better than listenin’ to people talk all the damn time.”

You chuckled under your breath and let it drop.

The fire popped. A breeze pushed through the trees, rustling leaves just loud enough to remind you how far you were from walls and fences. You shifted your weight a little, brushing your knee against his, not on purpose, but you didn't move it either.

He didn't flinch.

“You ain't gotta hover like this all the time, y’know,” you said after a moment, not accusing, just saying.

Daryl leaned back a bit, resting his forearm on his bent knee. “Ain't hoverin’. Just makin’ sure you ain't doin’ somethin’ stupid like fallin’ on your face.”

You smirked. “Appreciate the faith.”

He glanced sideways at you. “Didn't say I didn't trust you. Just know how stubborn you are.”

That got a real laugh out of you, low and tired. “Yeah, well…you’re not exactly the picture of restraint either.”

His mouth twitched, like he was fighting a smile. But then he looked at you again, longer this time. Eyes unreadable.

“You didn't have to look for me,” you said.

“I know.”

“But you did.”

He didn't answer right away. Just poked the fire with a stick and watched the embers shift.

“Didn't sit right,” he muttered. “You bein’ out there like that. Alone.”

That was the most he’d say. You didn't press it.

Instead, you shifted closer. Not a big more, just enough that your shoulder touched his. His body stiffened for a second, then settled again.

You looked at him in the quiet. The lines around his mouth. The scars. The way he kept his eyes low like they were too damn sharp to use on anyone for too long.

He wasn't soft. Not in words. Not in the way he carried himself. But he was here. With you. Still.

“Daryl,” you said, your voice low, steady.

He looked up.

You didn't say anything else. Just leaned in slow, watching him the whole way. Giving him time to pull back. Time to shake his head or shut it down.

But he didn't.

You caught the hesitation in his eyes, like part of him still didn't believe it was real, but he didn't move away. Your hand came up, gentle fingers brushing the side of his jaw, just enough to feel the rough stubble there.

And then you kissed him.

It was careful at first- your lips barely grazing his, testing, uncertain. You could feel how tense he was, how still. But he didn't pull away. After a second, he leaned in, mouth pressing back against yours in that awkward, unpolished way that said he wasn't used to this. Wasn't used to being wanted. But he wanted you. That much was clear in the way his fingers curled against your hip, not holding tight, just resting there like he needed the anchor.

You kissed him again, slower this time, letting it linger.

His breath hitched. Not loud. Not dramatic. Just the smallest sound of something giving way inside him.

When you finally pulled back, his eyes opened slow, like he hadn't realized he'd close them. 

Neither of you spoke.

He looked at you for a long moment, then turned back to the fire, tossed in another stick like it was just another night. But he didn't move away from you. Didn't shift or pull back or put space where there hadn't been any.

“Should get some sleep,” he said, voice rougher than usual.

You hid your smile in the collar of his jacket.

“Yeah. Probably should.”

You stretched out beside the fire, and he stayed close, crossbow still within reach, body tense in that quiet-watchful way of his. But he stayed near. Close enough to feel the heat of him.

And even though nothing else was said, you knew that kiss hadn’t just happened by chance.

It meant something.

To both of you.

[ivonhart]

only for you | sevika x fem long haired!reader

— one shot

masterlist

cross posted on ao3

requested by: @almostdeepestwombat

gif credit: @terrapia

summary: Sevika finds you after you help Jinx through one of her episodes

a/n: Straight up blacked out and came to with this on my computer

For as long as Silco could remember you were there. The one most loyal to him. Even in the most trying times he would turn to find you standing right behind him with a proud smile.

You…the first person to believe in his vision for Zaun to flourish into an independent nation no matter what actions were deemed necessary. Even after the blisters within the bedrock crumbled apart, you were always there.

You were there when he lost his eye. You were there when he first came up with the idea of Shimmer. You were there when he finally got his revenge…and you were there when he found her. A little girl, Felicia’s youngest, no more than twelve, curled up in his arms as he stared up at you with wide eyes.

The rain running down the cracks along his face as the fire behind you illuminated his orange eye. You hadn’t seen the girl since the death of her mother. The betrayal of Vander splitting your once large found family into only two.

For years it had just been you and Silco…but now, as you lifted your gaze from the man to those around you…it seemed as though your once family of two grew in size. Brutes…from Sevika’s group had now aligned themselves with Silco.

For months you had heard whispers of Sevika’s faith wavering in Vander, but when she jumped in front of the blast you knew she would become a prominent part in your life. And you were right. Due to what she did to protect Silco, and you, she quickly worked her way into Silco’s inner circle.

-

It had almost been three years since Silco took in Powd—Jinx and your life took a drastic turn. Not only because of the little girl you found yourself caring for…but because of the brute of a woman that was now Silco’s most trusted subordinate.

She became a constant in your life that left you breathless and flushed in ways you’ve never felt before. For as long as you could remember all your time was focused on freeing Zaun and each day you got closer and closer to it thanks to Silco.

And that dream was within reach…it had to have been. Silco managed to secure power over the Undercity with you by his side. As the two of you had always dreamed about. It wasn’t until Silco pointed it out that you realized what you might be feeling. “I believe you are smitten with her.” 

Silco suddenly teased one night as the two of you drank during your weekly catch ups. No matter what…the two of you set time aside to simply be in the company of one another without the weight of work looming over you.

You playfully scolded the man as you hid your burning cheeks behind your glass filled with the Undercity’s finest liquor. The man couldn’t fight the chuckle that passed his lips and he leaned back in his chair. “I’m just stating what I see.” 

It wouldn’t be until a month or so later that you would think back on your brother’s–for all intensive purposes–words. It was late at night as you stumbled out of Jinx’s room with sluggish movements.

She had experienced another manic episode, leaving her in a state that was dangerous for herself and those around her. At this point in time you were accustomed to helping her through it…but that didn’t mean you got out unscathed.

The episode was a brutal one which caused the girl to claw at your body, leaving deep scratches from where she dragged her nails across your skin.

Your hair was also a mess. Normally it would be hanging loose down to your knees after all the years of never cutting it, but because of Jinx it was now terribly knotted.

On Jinx’s good days, the young girl was obsessed with braiding your hair, but it wasn’t a good day. You slowly started making your way towards your room before you collided with what felt like a brick wall.

If it wasn’t for the metal arm that wrapped around your waist you would’ve tumbled over. Then the familiar voice that sent warmth throughout your body slowly cursed as you were held.

“Watch where you’re goi–” You looked up at Sevika and her sentence died in her throat when she took in your appearance. “Fucking hell you look like shit.”

She quickly said while getting your steady on your feet. You were too tired to register how her touch, even from her cold metal arm, left your skin on fire. “Yeah…Jinx had an episode.”

You mumbled as you looked at her. The woman simply nodded her head, knowing about the episodes, before turning on her heel. “Well let's get you cleaned up then.”

-

Sevika told herself that the reason she found herself tending to your wounds was because if Silco found out she left his sister alone in this state he’d have her head…but a part of her knew that wasn’t the whole truth.

Since joining Silco, Sevika always noted how beautiful you were. With each passing day she found herself looking at you more and more and subsequently sought out a brothel worker with similar hair and eye color to you in her free time.

About a year into her new life she couldn’t hold back the small flirty remarks she sent your way, feeling a sick sense of pride in the way she made your cheeks heat up with simple words. You were beautiful…but what she found most alluring was your hair.

When she first met you that night in the warehouse the moonlight caused your tailbone-length hair to shine within the style you pulled it into that day. She caught herself thinking about running her hands through it while she kissed you. Pulling it while she fucked you.

Tending to it while you got ready in the morning. For three years you wormed your way into her mind and her heart, leaving her with feelings she never thought possible to feel.

Now you sat before her with heavy bags under your eyes and knee-length hair knotted so bad it would take all night for you to brush it out. If you even could. You were a tough woman, it was another thing that pulled Sevika in so hard, but as she looked at you in the low lighting so noted just how tired you were.

Sevika couldn’t imagine having to care for the little psycho that Silco took in alongside her. The woman didn’t say anything as she began maneuvering you so that she would get behind you and begin working on your hair. Never in her life had she held something as softly as she held your hair.

She started at the bottom, slowly combing through the knots mindful of what caused you pain. It wasn’t until an hour or so later did you finally speak. “You’re not as scary as people think.”

Your words were almost slurred as you struggled to keep your eyes open. The feeling of someone caring for your hair always relaxed you, resulting in you falling in and out of a semi-conscious state.

Only for you…the woman thought as she finished brushing the last knot out before scooping you up and walking you to your room. As she put you on your bed she felt you cup her jaw and the faintest kiss brushed her cheek before you fell against your pillow, leaving the brute with burning cheeks to stumble out of your room. 

[gullemec]

The Great Divide

Bitten - Part IX

Bitten Masterlist ao3

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: You and Joel navigate your relationship, your continued journey, and survival together, now with the addition of Ellie.

Warnings: canon-typical gore & violence, description of injuries, infected attack, more angst because this angst train is going to keep on rolling up until I decide it's time to throw smut into the mix

Please let me know if I missed any TWs <3

WC: 12.8k

A/N: I'm very sorry for going MIA for so long - turns out a masters degree is really hard and no one told me?? (jk lol)

He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it sure as hell wasn’t this.

This girl, foul mouthed and scrappy, tucked under your arm like a little duckling. Clinging to you the way lost things do, like she already knew you’d keep her safe.

She couldn’t have been older than Sarah was when…

Joel clenches his jaw, shaking the thought loose before it can take root.

Since leaving the Fireflies’ compound, you’d barely said a word to him. The silence gnawed at him, worse than any wound, worse than the burn in his muscles from days of relentless walking. He could still see the heavy plumes of smoke rising behind you, curling into the sky like a funeral pyre.

Good, he thought. Let it burn to the fucking ground.

He’d fought like hell to get to you. Laid traps, cut supply lines, picked them off one by one like a wolf thinning the herd. He’d drawn Marlene’s people out and, when there was no time left to lose, stormed in and took you back.

He’d saved you.

And yet, here you are, alive and safe, and you still won’t look at him.

Had he really thought that was all it would take? That dragging you out of there, carrying you through fire and blood, would undo everything? That it would make things right between you again?

What the hell had he been expecting? That you’d throw yourself into his arms, press your face into his chest, whisper a broken, breathless thank you? That you’d see what he couldn’t say, that it was more than obligation, more than survival, that he —

Joel huffs a breath through his nose. Foolish.

Instead, the distance between you remained, like you were a thousand miles away instead of two feet behind him. You spoke more to the girl than you did to him. Soft, murmured comforts, whispered reassurances, your arm thrown protectively around her shoulders as you walked. When she shivered, you rubbed the chill from her arms, tucked her close into your side.

And Joel… Joel watched.

If he was being honest, watching you with her cut him right to the core.

The way you held her close, the way your touch soothed without hesitation, like it was second nature. Like you were made for it. It was a painful reminder of everything the world had stolen from you. Of the life you should have had.

Caring for someone vulnerable came so easily to you. And once, a long time ago, it had come easily to him too.

Joel had been a good father. He could admit that, even from beneath the crushing weight of guilt and grief he carried. He’d made mistakes, sure, but Sarah had always been safe, loved, and happy. And in the years after losing her, that knowledge had been the only thing keeping him from unraveling completely.

But that part of him was long gone. Rusted over.

He had no business around a kid now. Wouldn’t even know where to begin.

And yet, watching you now, watching the way the girl gravitates toward you, how she clings to you like you’re the only sure thing in this broken world, he feels an already broken part of him shatter.

Another wedge driving itself between you. Another reason for you to pull further away.

…

You should be grateful.

You should have thrown yourself into his arms the moment the last Firefly hit the ground, let relief crash over you like a tidal wave.

You should be grateful that he followed you, through rain and snow, through blood and wreckage. That he fought, killed, and bled for you. That he put a bullet in Marlene’s head without hesitation. For you.

This shouldn’t be so fucking hard.

And yet, every time you look at him, every time those dark eyes flick up to meet yours, you have to look away. Because you can’t bear to see it again.

The fear, the discomfort, the disgust he tried and failed to hide. And beneath all that, something else, something worse.

Hurt.

You don’t want to face it. You don’t want to face him. Because to do that, to reach across this great divide between you, means opening yourself up to the possibility of him hurting you again. And you’re not strong enough for that.

Not yet. Maybe not ever.

And then there’s Ellie.

She clings to you like a lifeline, and you to her. The trust she’s placed in you is staggering, unearned, and yet you find yourself desperate not to let her down. You don’t know why she’s latched onto you so quickly, but you think, maybe, it has something to do with the fact that you’re both members of the world’s most exclusive, most wretched club.

And so you pour yourself into taking care of her, into comforting her, protecting her. It’s easier this way, easier to focus on her than to deal with the mess that lies between you and Joel.

Easier to pretend you don’t still love him.

…

The sun is grazing the peaks of the mountains by the time you finally stop to rest. The air is thick with the damp chill of evening, the scent of wet earth clinging to your clothes. A light breeze rustles the treetops, whispering through the branches like ghosts.

Joel moves through the motions of setting up camp with practiced ease, the kind of efficiency that reminds you just how long he’s been doing this, how survival has become muscle memory to him. He barely speaks, only the occasional rustling of gear and the snap of twigs beneath his boots filling the silence.

You try to help, gathering branches for the fire, shaking out spare blankets to make something resembling a bed for Ellie, but your body betrays you. Your cast knocks awkwardly against things as you move, your fingers stiff and clumsy as you try to tear branches off a dead tree. Every task takes twice as long as it should, and by the time you drop a bundle of kindling near the fire pit, your hands are aching, fingers burning from overuse.

Joel doesn’t say anything, but you feel the burn of his eyes on you when you fumble with the blankets, struggling to smooth them out. His eyes flick to your hands, assessing. Then, without a word, he steps in, finishing what you started. Not unkind, not impatient, just efficient, like he’s used to doing things himself. Like he doesn’t expect anything from you.

The silence between you stretches, and it gives your mind all the space it needs to run wild. You don’t know what you want from him. An acknowledgment, maybe. A sign that things are okay, that you haven’t ruined everything. That what he did back there, back at the Fireflies’ compound, meant something.

Your mouth is dry when you finally force out, “I can help.”

Joel barely glances up from where he’s securing the blankets. “Already got it.” His voice is quiet, flat, like he’s answering just to answer.

The conversation dies right there.

You hesitate, then hold your tongue and retreat, dropping onto a fallen log at the edge of the campsite beside Ellie. She sits with her knees tucked up, picking at bark on the log, watching Joel work with wary curiosity.

After a few moments, she leans over to you and murmurs, “So… Who is he?”

You stiffen, your fingers curling into the fabric of your jacket. The answer should be simple. It isn’t.

“He’s…” You steal a glance at Joel, crouched near the fire coaxing the flames to life with a practiced hand. His face is unreadable, half in shadow, half cast in flickering orange light. You swallow. “He’s just an old friend.”

Ellie frowns, clearly unconvinced. “Yeah? You don’t seem like friends.”

A quiet, humorless huff of laughter escapes you. “What do we seem like, then?”

She tilts her head, considering. “I dunno. Strangers? Enemies? Exes?”

Your throat tightens. You don’t have an answer for that, not one that makes sense, not one that doesn’t unravel everything inside you. You are none of those things, but what are you, then? Before you can even try to come up with something, Joel grunts from across the camp.

“C’mon.” He doesn’t look up. “Let’s eat.”

You and Ellie make your way back to the fire, the warmth licking at your cold fingertips as you sit across from Joel. He hands out the food, canned beans and stale jerky, the kind of meal you don’t even taste anymore.

The three of you eat in near silence, the only sounds the crackling fire, the distant bark of a coyote, the occasional rustling of leaves. Ellie, in an effort to fill the void, asks Joel a few questions; where he’s from, how long he’s been on the road. He answers in clipped, vague sentences, not rude, just uninterested, the way a man does when he’s spent too many years not wanting to be known.

At some point, she glances between the two of you and mutters, “Jeez. You two really know how to bring down a meal.”

Joel ticks his jaw, shaking his head. You don’t respond. You just stare at your food, appetite all but gone.

Eventually, the fire burns down, casting dim, flickering shadows over Ellie and Joel’s faces. You think distantly of telling ghost stories at summer camp, huddled around a fire just like this one. But that was in another life, when stories of spectres and ghouls were benign fodder for an eleven-year-old’s imagination instead of your daily lived reality.

Joel stands with a grunt, adjusting the rifle slung over his shoulder. “I’ll take first watch.”

You don’t argue.

Ellie is asleep in minutes, curled up in the blankets you struggled to arrange. You shift to your feet, moving to squat beside the dying fire, watching it shrink to embers.

“What happened to your wrist?”

His voice is low but it disrupts the silence between you like a stone dropped in still water.

You blink up at him without thinking, caught off guard by the question, by the fact that he’s asking at all. The firelight has all but died now, leaving you both in darkness, but his eyes are steady on yours. Not angry. Not cold. Just… watching.

There’s no malice there. No disgust. Only something quiet and burdensome, like sadness. 

You clear your throat, looking away.

“Slipped on some ice trying to cross a stream,” you say, voice tight. 

Stupid. That’s what it was, what you want to say. Stupid. You should’ve known better, should’ve found another way, should’ve been able to tell the difference between the sounds of a fox and something worse. But you were scared. You were alone, and by your own doing.

“Storm hit not long after,” you continue. “I holed up in a hunting shack. That’s when the infection got me, I think. I was out of it… Hallucinating some pretty crazy shit.”

You hate admitting this. Hate the way the words feel in your mouth, like confessions, like proof. Proof that you weren’t as strong as you thought. That you weren’t as capable without him. That you had left, thinking you could survive without his protection, and you had almost died for it.

It’s a quiet kind of humiliation.

But he doesn’t say anything. Doesn’t twist the knife.

Doesn’t say I told you so.

Doesn’t say You shouldn’t have left.

He just sits there, gaze heavy, holding the silence with you.

You force yourself to keep going.

“I was half-dead when I made it to this pharmacy, looking for antibiotics.” A pause. You swallow hard. “That’s where they got me.”

Images flash behind your eyes.

The moment you felt hands grab you, lifting you off the ground. You remember the desperate, delirious relief that hit you like a hook to the ribs. Because you thought it was him. Because for a second, your fevered and broken mind had believed he’d found you.

That relief feels like a cruel joke now.

The fire pops, embers sparkling in the ash. Ellie shifts in her sleep beside you, mumbling something incoherent before settling again.

And Joel still doesn’t speak.

You risk a glance at him, at the way his hands are clenched in his lap, at the hard line of his jaw, the muscle ticking there. His shoulders are stiff, his whole body wound tight as a tripwire. Not angry. Just holding something back.

You wonder if it’s guilt.

Or if it’s something darker. If it’s anger.

Or if it even matters.

Joel gestures for you to come closer, nodding toward your hands. You hesitate for half a second before shifting toward him, extending them palms up. He takes them carefully, turning them over in his rough, calloused grip, the firelight casting deep shadows over the bruising and scabbed over scrapes.

"They look bad," he mutters, reaching for his pack. "But they should heal okay."

He pulls out a bottle of water and an old rag, soaking it before running it over your knuckles. You wince at the sting but don't pull away.

"You feelin’ alright?" he asks after a moment. "Any fever?"

"I'm fine," you say, but he doesn't look convinced. His fingers skim over the tender skin at your wrist, just below the edge of the cast, his brow furrowing.

He looks at the state of your hands, the rough, puckered skin around your knuckles, the bruising that extends out from under your cast. The sight sticks him in his gut, the all too familiar tendrils of guilt beginning to unfurl. He could have prevented this. If he’d been kinder, if he’d confronted his own vulnerabilities, his own fears, would you have been driven away from him? Was there something he could have said that would have made you change your mind?

"Why’d you —"

But he cuts himself off, jaw tightening, shaking his head like he's trying to shove the question back down behind the walls it crawled out of. Not the time or place. 

You sigh, looking past him into the dark woods, just needing to look anywhere but at him. "You should let me take over watch," you say. "I don’t have a sleeping bag anyway.”

Joel scoffs, already reaching for his pack. "Took one from the compound," he mutters, pulling it free and tossing it toward you.

For a second, you just stare at it, your fingers digging into the fabric like it's something foreign. A biting retort claws up your throat, something about how you can take care of yourself, about how you're not some kid he needs to look after. But it dies before it ever leaves your lips.

Why do you do that? Why do you push back against any act of care like it means you’re weak?

“Drink,” Joel says, nodding at the bottle in his hand, and when you don’t move, he presses it against your thigh like he’s daring you to argue. ”Like you’re damn allergic to taking care of yourself.”

It should be annoying. The gruff bossiness, the way he talks like you're some reckless burden he’s always got to account for. It should piss you off.

But you just feel like weeping.

You take the water, swallowing a few mouthfuls before handing it back.

Joel leans forward, elbows resting on his knees, watching the dying fire. His voice is quieter when he speaks next.

“Ellie,” he says, and you don’t need to look at him to know what he’s asking. “What’s her story?”

You huff a soft laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “If I told you the truth, you’d never believe me.”

“Try me.”

You glance at him, and something about the way he’s looking at you, all steady patience, makes the words come easier than you expect.

“She’s immune,” you murmur. “Like me.”

Joel lets out a slow breath, rubbing a hand down his face. He nods, his wildest suspicions confirmed. She was the kid Marlene wanted him to bring to Utah. What kind of fucked up plan did the universe have for him?

You hesitate before asking, "What do you think it means? Do you think there might be more of us?" You pick at a loose thread on your sleeve, suddenly nervous, glancing at him. "Marlene thought there was a cure. She said it could be the start of something, that… that what happened to me might actually mean something."

Your throat tightens, and you hate the way your voice wavers at the end. You liked the sound of it, the idea of being part of something bigger, of your suffering having some kind of purpose.

But Joel doesn’t want to hear this right now. Doesn’t want to listen to you romanticize your death like that. You getting your brain ripped out of you wouldn’t mean a damn thing. You being here, being alive, getting safely to Wyoming, that meant something. Nothing about your life being snuffed out like the flame of a candle could ever mean anything other than the loss of the one thing that Joel still had a tenuous grasp on in this world.

"Marlene was sick." His voice is a dull blade, pressing too hard. "She was gonna kill you. Kill a kid. All in the name of a vaccine we both know was bullshit."

The words land like a slap, and you flinch.

It’s not the anger that gets you. It’s the way he dismisses it outright, like it’s not even worth considering. Like you’re not even worth considering.

You shift away from him, turning toward where Ellie lay sleeping, fingers curling into your palms. "Right," you mutter.

Joel knows he fucked up the second the words leave his mouth, but it’s too late to take them back.

"You wouldn’t understand," you say, willing your voice not to crack. "No one but me and Ellie could understand how this feels."

He watches as you watch over the girl, still curled up in her blankets, her form rising and falling in steady rhythm. You unroll your sleeping bag next to the fire, crawling in. There’s a heaviness in your voice when you continue. "She’s a good kid. And she’s my responsibility now."

Joel’s stomach twists. The words hit him right in that shattered place inside him.

He remembers when you were his responsibility.

Back when it was the two of you against the world, before everything got so fucked up. When you leaned on him without hesitation, when he could look at you and know, without a doubt, that you trusted him to take care of you.

But he knows he lost a piece of that.

Lost it when he let his own fear get the best of him, when he let the rough edges of his walls scrape against your softness until they left wounds too deep to ignore.

He wants to tell you he understands more than you think. That he knows what it means to hold something fragile in your hands and be terrified of breaking it. That he sees you.

But before he can figure out how to say any of that, your body sags, exhaustion overtaking you like a wave.

It only takes a minute before your breathing evens out, your limbs slack and heavy with sleep.

Joel sighs, rubbing a hand down his face. Regret pools like oil, thick and dark. He should’ve apologized. Should’ve told you he was sorry for dismissing you, for snapping at you when you were just trying to make sense of everything.

But he can’t wake you up for that now, can’t disrupt the first real rest you’ve had in God knows how long.

Instead, he watches the embers die one by one, listens to the quiet sounds of the night. And when the first hints of dawn creep over the horizon, casting the world in hesitant pools of light, he finds himself shifting closer to you without really thinking about it.

Carefully, almost hesitantly, he reaches out, pressing his palm lightly to your forehead. Checking for fever, that’s all. Just making sure you’re okay.

His hand lingers longer than it should.

Ellie watches from her makeshift bed, silent and still, eyes barely peeking over the edge of her blanket.

She doesn’t say anything.

She just watches the way Joel looks at you, like he’s carrying something too big for words, something he can’t seem to get a grip on.

Something she doesn’t think she’s ever seen up close before.

And when you wake before the sun a couple of hours later, Joel is right there, dozing beside you, arms crossed as if he’d been keeping watch all night. You don’t know what to do with the warmth that spreads through you at the sight. You don’t know why it hurts as much as it soothes.

…

Morning arrives in gold.

The sun is unseasonably warm, pressing down on you with a gentle heat that seeps into your skin, loosening the stiffness in your bones. It’s almost pleasant, and if you close your eyes and tilt your face toward the sky, you can almost pretend, just for a second, that the world isn’t what it is.

The fire has long since burned out, leaving behind the smell of smoke in the air. You sit back on a log, feeling useless as Joel moves through the familiar motions of breaking down camp. He doesn’t ask for help, doesn’t expect it from you, not after last night. You hate the feeling of being dead weight, of watching instead of doing, but you know better than to push yourself past what your body can handle.

A metal travel mug appears in your line of vision, held out wordlessly.

You blink at it, then up at Joel, who doesn’t meet your eyes.

The gesture is so familiar it nearly knocks the breath from your lungs.

You take the cup, fingers curling around the warmth of it, and for a fleeting moment, it almost feels normal. Like no time has passed at all. Like this is just another morning on the road, him handing you coffee the way he always used to.

You don’t thank him, and he doesn’t expect you to.

To your surprise, Joel calls out to Ellie.

"Come on, kid. Give me a hand with this."

What surprises you even more is that instead of scoffing or making some snippy remark, she jumps up, eager to help.

You watch as she moves to his side, waiting for direction. He shows her how to roll up the sleeping bags, how to tie them down so they don’t come loose, how to strap them to a pack in a way that won’t throw off balance.

Kids like to be wanted, you remember. They like to feel important.

She listens intently, taking the task seriously. It’s small, but it’s something. A way to contribute. A way to matter.

By the time everything is packed up, Joel reaches for your pack.

Instinct kicks in before you can think better of it.

"I can do it," you say, grabbing for it at the same time he does.

You can’t, actually.

Your wrist is throbbing, your fingers stiff and sore. Your side aches from walking for miles, and your head still hasn’t fully recovered from the exhaustion of the past forty-eight hours. You didn’t sleep that first night after Joel found you, none of you did. Not until you’d put enough distance between yourselves and the smoldering wreckage of the Fireflies’ compound, the plumes of black smoke rising high into the sky.

You eye the pack, heavy with pilfered supplies. Courtesy of Joel.

He doesn’t argue. Doesn’t bark at you to just let him do it, doesn’t sigh in frustration like he would have before. Instead, he stands there, hands held in front of him like he’s approaching something wild. He’s not pushing. Not pressuring.

Just… waiting.

The silence stretches between you, your pride sitting heavy on your shoulders.

Then, finally, you drop your gaze to the forest floor.

"Okay," you murmur. "You can carry it."

Joel just nods, hoisting it over his shoulder like it’s nothing.

And to your surprise, you don’t feel guilty.

You only feel… surprised.

Surprised at yourself, for letting him do this for you.

Surprised at him for not throwing a barb your way about it.

Maybe you’re both learning something.

…

The Beartooth Pass snakes its way up into the mountains, winding higher and higher, each step a burn in your legs. But the view is enough to keep you from complaining. The land stretches out below, endless pine forests rolling into craggy peaks, stubborn bits of snow clinging to the frosty ground. The sky is an impossible blue, the kind that almost makes you forget the world has gone to hell. Almost.

Joel, leading the way, suddenly slows, scanning the roadside before nodding toward a dirt road that juts off from the highway.

"Map says there should be a freshwater lake up this way," he explains, holding it up for you to see.

You don’t bother looking. 

"I believe you." 

He’s always been better at reading maps than you, and you trust him to get you where you need to go.

An hour later, the cracked pavement gives way to gravel, then dirt, and then a weathered wooden sign emerges from the trees. Lily Lake Campground.

Joel lifts a hand in warning. "Stay put. Lemme check it out first."

You and Ellie wait as he vanishes into the trees. Birds chirp somewhere above, and a breeze rustles through the branches, sending a spray of pine needles careening toward you, landing at the toe of your boot. It’s peaceful here, untouched in a way most places aren’t anymore.

Joel returns a few minutes later with a nod. "All clear."

Nothing could have prepared you for the sight of the lake.

For the first time since crossing into Wyoming, you really see it. The beauty of it. You’d been too exhausted, too cold, too lost in your own head before. But today, the sun is shining, the sky wide and open, and in front of you is a pristine, glassy lake, the surface rippling serenely in the breeze. The water is so clear you can see straight to the bottom near the shore, smooth colorful rocks catching the light beneath the surface. Pines crowd the edges, looming reflections cast long and unbroken over the water.

No one speaks.

Then, as if by silent agreement, the three of you start stripping down to your underwear, kicking off boots, peeling away layers until the cool air kisses your skin.

Ellie is the first in, launching herself forward with reckless enthusiasm, barely pausing before plugging her nose and disappearing beneath the surface.

You hesitate, dipping a toe in before stepping further. It’s cold, but in a way that makes your skin tingle, like a long drink of water after walking in the heat. It wakes you up, reminds you that you’re alive.

Joel lingers at the shore, arms crossed, eyeing the water with deep suspicion.

"You coming in, old man?" you tease.

His glare is half-hearted. "I don’t like cold water."

You laugh, watching as he finally steps in, wincing with each inch of skin that submerges. For all his gruffness, all his strength, this is the thing that undoes him. Cold water.

You don’t see Ellie creeping up behind him until it’s too late.

With both hands, she slaps the surface, sending a wave of water crashing against his entire back.

Joel’s whole body stiffens. He spins, eyes wild, only to see Ellie already kicking away, cackling.

"You little shit!" he bellows, lunging after her.

Ellie shrieks, ducking beneath the water to escape, but Joel isn’t done. He plunges under, disappearing for a second before bursting up again, shaking his head like a wet dog, sending a fresh spray of water in all directions.

You shriek as the cold droplets hit you, shielding your face.

"Okay, enough," you laugh, retreating toward the shore. "If I get this cast wet, I’m screwed."

Joel, catching his breath, watches as you wade back onto land. You grab an old towel from your pack, drying off before slipping back into your clothes, the afternoon sun warming your skin.

Eventually, Joel joins you, dropping onto the shore beside you, running his fingers through his wet hair with a grumble. Ellie stays in the water, drifting lazily on her back, eyes closed, soaking up the moment like it’s the first time she’s ever really felt peace.

You watch her, then glance at Joel.

For once, there’s no urgency. No fear.

Just this.

A moment carved out of the world as it used to be.

He sits beside you, close enough that if you weren’t thinking too hard about it, you could mistake the two of you for something. Companions, maybe. Friends. But you know better.

You aren’t sure what you are anymore. Old friends? Reluctant allies? Strangers with too much history to be strangers at all?

Joel exhales through his nose, nodding toward the water. “Kid’s like a goddamn fish.”

You huff a quiet laugh, the sound unfamiliar in your throat. It doesn’t belong here, doesn’t fit into the broken mess of whatever sits between you now. But it comes anyway, drawn out of you by the sight of Ellie floating on her back, arms splayed wide, completely at peace.

“She’s something,” you agree.

Joel shifts beside you. You can hear him breathing, steady and even, but you swear he’s thinking so loud you can almost hear it. He wants to speak. You can feel it.

You do, too, if you’re being honest.

But what do you even say?

Thanks for saving me. By the way, why did you do that?

… Is it the same reason you couldn’t pull the trigger that day on the river?

Joel clears his throat. “I… I heard about her. Back when we were in the QZ.”

You turn to him, brows furrowing. What?

“What?” you ask, blinking at him. “You…?”

“Ellie, I mean.” He doesn’t look at you, his eyes locked on the water where she drifts lazily, letting the sun warm her face. “I went to see Marlene for a job. Back when we were just talkin’ about leaving. I knew she could get me supplies we needed. I’d done runs for her before.”

You stay silent, waiting. Joel never gave up information freely. He was a locked safe, in the heart of a maximum security prison, and getting anything out of him used to be an art. But now, here he is, offering something up unprompted.

And you’re not about to interrupt him.

“I never brought you along for jobs with the Fireflies. Too dangerous,” he says, rubbing a hand over his face, voice quieter now. “And this time when I went…” 

He seems to consider his words for a moment.

“She mentioned a kid. A girl who was immune. I thought she was full of shit. She wanted me to bring her to Utah so they could— ” His jaw clenches. You can see the tension in him, the way his shoulders tighten, his throat bobs with a hard swallow. “They were gonna kill her.”

There’s a rawness in his voice, like it’s scraped open, bleeding.

You swallow, staring at his profile, at the way he keeps his eyes fixed forward, unwilling to meet yours. He isn’t just talking about Ellie.

“You knew they were going to do the same to me,” you murmur. “And that’s why you came to get me.”

It isn’t a question. It isn’t even an accusation.

Just a fact. A recognition of what he’s done.

Joel thought you were going to be killed, and he put himself between you and the hands of fate. Again.

But Joel shakes his head. 

“I was comin’ for you anyway,” he says, and his voice is steady now, sure in a way that makes your breath catch. “Didn’t even realize they were around ‘til I saw the logo spray-painted nearby. They do that, try to scare raiders off. Got a bad reputation.”

You stare at him. His words filter through your brain slowly, piece by piece.

I was comin’ for you anyway.

You hadn’t been sure what he would do after you left. Maybe go back to Boston. Maybe stay, start over, let go of the weight of you, the burden of your needs, your curse.

You’d assumed he would want that. That he’d find peace in the quiet of Wyoming, without you there to complicate things.

But instead, he’d gone looking.

Not because of duty. Not because of some misplaced sense of responsibility.

But because relief for him wasn’t found in the emptiness you left behind.

What if Joel didn’t want peace?

What if peace, for him, wasn’t something Wyoming could offer, only you?

The thought lingers, curling itself around the messy, broken edges of everything else between you. You don’t know what to do with it. Don’t know how to hold it alongside all the other things you carry, the hurt, the anger, the distance.

Because for all of this, for everything he’s done, there was still that look in his eyes before you left. Still the anger in his voice, the cold way he pushed you away.

How do you hold both things at the same time?

…

That night, as you sit around the campfire, you listen to the stillness in the air.

If it were warmer, there’d be crickets, the distant sounds of life in the forest waking under the moonlight. If it weren’t the apocalypse, there’d be the sounds of other campers, families murmuring, kids giggling as they roast marshmallows, someone playing a guitar off in the distance. The kind of quiet life you once took for granted.

Instead, there’s just you, the child you’ve quasi-adopted, and the man you’re in love with who also makes you want to rip your hair out half the time, splitting a can of vintage baked beans and jerky over the fire.

You’ve learned that Ellie has never been one for silence. She’ll do anything to fill it, whether it’s with half-baked theories, crude jokes, or god-awful puns. Tonight, though, she sets her sights on Joel.

“You know, if you keep making that face, it’ll get stuck that way.”

You glance over at him, catching the deep furrow in his brow, the ever-present scowl that looks like it’s been etched into his face since birth. Something about it makes you laugh, small but genuine, bubbling up before you can stop it.

How the hell did you ever survive these awkward silences with Joel before Ellie came along?

He doesn’t dignify her with a response, just grunts, shaking his head as he stirs the fire. But before he can grumble too much, she throws a question to you both.

“What was your favorite movie, from before?”

You freeze, caught off guard. That’s something you haven’t thought about in… years. More than years. It’s been so long since movies were even a part of your world. The last one you saw was back in the Chicago QZ, crowded around a battery-operated portable DVD player, watching The Phantom Menace with a group of strangers, pretending for a couple of hours that the world outside didn’t exist.

Joel, however, doesn’t hesitate.

“Curtis and the Viper 2.”

You blink, then snort before you can stop yourself.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, brows knitting together.

You shake your head, grinning. “Those movies were cheesy as hell. That’s your favorite?”

Joel lifts his hands in mock offense. “Hey now, those movies had heart.”

“Oh my god, you’re serious.”

Ellie giggles, eyes flicking between the two of you. 

“Damn right I’m serious,” Joel says, poking at the fire. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with a little action and adventure.”

You smirk, leaning back against a fallen log. “I just pegged you as more of a Western kind of guy.”

Joel huffs, but there’s amusement behind it, like he’s almost pleased you even gave it that much thought. “Alright then, smartass, what’s your favorite?”

You hesitate, rifling through half-buried memories before grinning as one finally surfaces.

“The Blair Witch Project, for sure.”

Joel’s head snaps up, eyes narrowing in scrutiny. “Your parents let you watch that?”

You let out a giggle. “Jesus, Joel, how old do you think I was?”

Ellie, watching the exchange with barely contained amusement, grins wide. “Wait, wait. What's the Blair Witch?”

You and Joel exchange a glance before turning back to her.

“A horror movie,” you say.

“A damn stupid horror movie,” Joel adds.

You gasp, clutching your chest in mock offense. “Oh, come on, it was terrifying.”

Joel scoffs. “Terrifying? It was a bunch of idiots running around the woods with a camera, scarin’ themselves half to death over nothin’.”

“That’s what made it great. It was all about the suspense.” You wiggle your eyebrows at him.

He just shakes his head, muttering something under his breath about kids these days.

For a moment, there’s an easiness about this, a warmth, reminiscent of how things used to be before everything went to hell. Before he did what he did. Before you ran.

The fire crackles, throwing shadows across Joel’s face, softening the hard edges. He’s watching you, but not with the guarded distance he’s kept since you left. Just… watching.

You swallow, glancing away.

The moment is fleeting, slipping through your fingers before you can grab hold of it. 

Because then Ellie throws a grenade into the air. 

“What was the happiest day of your life?”

A log on the fire pops, sending embers swirling into the night, but everything else stills. The air thickens, pressing in on you, on Joel.

Your eyes find his, and he’s already looking at you.

Because he already knows your answer.

You told him, back when you laid all your cards on the table. When you thought you had nothing to lose.

The closest thing to happiness I’ve felt since… since before the world ended.

A day suspended in liquid gold. Where for a brief, foolish moment, you believed you could reach out and take love in your hands, hold it like something real, something lasting. When words spilled between you in the flickering firelight, when the proximity between you vanished, leaving nothing but warmth and breath and the unspoken promise that maybe, just maybe, there could be something more.

But you can’t tell Ellie that. You can’t even bear the thought of retelling it to Joel.

And Joel… How is he supposed to answer? How does he tell you that the happiest day of his life was the day his baby girl was born? How does he put into words the million little moments that followed - the first time Sarah wrapped her tiny fingers around his, the way she’d laugh until she snorted, the feeling of her arms wrapped around his neck after a long day - without inviting questions? Without unraveling himself right here, in front of both of you?

He’d told you about Sarah before. More than he ever told Tess. More than he ever told anyone. You asked, and Joel, hesitant, careful, had given you those pieces of himself, knowing you would hold them gently.

But he can’t do that now. Not here. Not in front of Ellie.

The silence stretches, growing heavier by the second. Ellie glances between you both, her face scrunching in confusion, then softening with worry.

“Did I say something wrong?” she asks quietly.

You shake your head, only then noticing the tears perched precariously on your waterline. You blink them back and slip an arm around her shoulders, pulling her into your side.

“No, not at all,” you murmur, keeping your voice smooth, steady. Comforting. “It’s just hard to think about sometimes. About everything we lost, you know?”

Ellie doesn’t answer, but you feel her lean into you, just a little.

Across the fire, Joel remains still, gaze fixed on the flames.

It’s like you can read his mind, and he doesn’t like it.

The night wears on, the fire burning lower, the cold creeping in. Eventually, Ellie curls up in her makeshift bedroll, her breathing slowing, evening out.

And then it’s just you and Joel.

The quiet between you isn’t painful, it’s unbearable.

You want to say something.

So does he.

Neither of you do.

The silence stretches like an unseen presence, pressing against you like a bruise you don’t want to touch.

You want to ask Why did you come for me? Really? but the words stay stuck in your throat.

Joel wants to say I’m sorry I pushed you away. Wants to tell you that being without you had felt like severing a limb, that he hasn’t stopped feeling the ghost of it since. But instead, he just grunts and mutters, “You should get some sleep.”

And so you do.

…

You wake early the next day, the chill of dawn clinging to your skin as you set off up the mountain. The world feels greyer today, the cloud cover making the lake look like a giant silver mirror. The air is crisp, but the tension between you and Joel remains, hanging in the air like a fourth traveler.

Unspoken words. Stolen glances. Moments where one of you starts to speak but stops short, swallowing whatever had almost been said.

Ellie senses it, that unseen current passing between you and Joel. She does her best to cut through it, keeping up a steady stream of chatter, throwing out silly jokes, pointless observations, anything to keep things light. But there’s a distance between you and Joel that she can’t quite bridge, a history neither of you are willing to acknowledge out loud. 

After a while, Ellie groans dramatically, pressing a hand to her forehead like a tragic heroine.

“Ugh. My legs. They’re dead. Completely useless. Guess you guys are gonna have to leave me behind.”

You smirk, glancing over at her. This kid has no business being this funny, not after everything she’s seen, everything she’s been through. You admire that about her, the way she refuses to let the world harden her completely.

She turns to Joel with wide, pleading eyes. “Joel, you gotta carry me. It’s the only way.”

You fully expect him to scoff, to grumble something about how she’s not a baby and she can walk just fine. But to your utter astonishment, he stops.

He raises an eyebrow at Ellie, then shifts his backpack around to his front, loosening the straps. With a groaning sigh, he drops to one knee and waves a hand expectantly.

“C’mon, then.”

Ellie’s mouth falls open in disbelief before she whips her head toward you, like she needs confirmation that this is really happening.

And then, with an elated shriek, she scrambles onto Joel’s back.

He grunts as he stands, adjusting her weight before trudging forward. “You ain’t exactly light, kid.”

“Yeah, well, you aren’t exactly young,” she shoots back, grinning against his shoulder.

And you laugh. A real, genuine laugh, already filling the air before you can stop it. Ellie laughs too, and after a moment, even Joel, despite himself, lets out a quiet chuckle.

For a moment, it feels almost normal.

In another life, maybe this could have been yours, properly. A life where Joel is yours, where the world isn’t shattered and unkind, where you’re just walking together on a crisp morning, laughing with a little girl who shares your features, perched on his back without a care in the world. In this fantasy, there’s no weight in Joel’s eyes when he looks at you, no past that threatens to pull you under, no unspoken words wedged between you like a blade. In this fantasy, he loves you back.

You let yourself stay there, just for a second. Suspended in it.

Then the moment shatters.

It happens fast, too fast.

Your breath catches, laughter dying in your throat as something up ahead snags your attention. A shift in the landscape, a movement in the distance. At first, you think it’s just a trick of the light, a shadow cast by the trees. But then you see it.

A wreck.

The mangled remains of an RV, half-sunken in a roadside ditch, its windows shattered, its frame rusted and warped from time and decay. For a second, it’s just another ruin, another forgotten remnant of a world long gone.

But then the movement registers.

Not the wind. Not the trees.

Bodies.

A small horde, circling the wreckage like vultures, dragging rotted limbs, heads jerking in sudden, unnatural twitches. You don’t have time to count them before one stops mid-step, its face snapping toward you, hollow sockets locking onto distant movement. Then another. And another.

Your blood turns to ice.

Joel reacts before you can. Pure instinct.

Ellie barely has time to squeak out a question before he’s dropping her to the ground, shoving both of you toward the brush on the far side of the road.

“Stay down. Stay quiet.”

Ellie nods, wide-eyed, scrambling into the undergrowth, but you hesitate.

Because you know Joel. You know what he’s about to do.

And you can’t help yourself.

Once you’re sure Ellie is hidden, you crawl back up to the road, pressing yourself against the rough bark of a tree, watching his six.

Like old times.

And God, he’s mesmerizing.

He moves like something honed and deadly, all precision and brutal efficiency. A weapon crafted by time and hardship, cutting through the infected like they are nothing, because to him, they are. He doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t stumble. Every swing of his knife, every crack of his boot, every bullet that leaves the chamber, it’s methodical. Practiced. 

God’s perfect killing machine.

But God’s perfect killing machine has a bad right ear, and he doesn’t catch the flurry of movement behind him.

You watch it slither from behind the overturned RV, moving low, silent. A stalker, its body half-decayed, bones jutting through torn flesh, its milky eyes locked onto Joel like a predator that’s finally caught the scent of its prey.

He doesn’t hear it.

You realize it too late.

A cold sweat spikes down your spine. Your heart kicks into a frenzy, pulse thundering in your ears. You could call out to him, but you know what that would mean. You know how fast these things move. One sound, one wrong step, and it’s over.

For all of you.

But you’re not about to watch your nightmare unfold in front of you. Not again.

The fingers of your good hand close around the hilt of your knife, yanking it from its sheath in one fluid motion. There’s no time to think, just to move. You crouch low, every muscle coiled, and slip toward the stalker as quietly as you can.

Close enough now.

You throw your casted arm around its neck, the thick plaster shielding you from its snapping teeth, and drive your blade deep into its skull. You ignore the way your bone screams from the pressure.

But you’re not steady on your feet yet, not fully healed, not fully back in fighting form. Your balance falters. The dead weight of its body drags you down, and before you can stop it, you’re falling.

A sickening gurgle rattles in its throat as its body spasms against yours, collapsing atop you. You twist the knife deeper, teeth gritted, until the movement ceases.

Silence.

For a second, the world stills.

By the time he’s finished off the last of them, Joel’s head is whipping around, eyes scanning wildly. His ribs are heaving, lungs burning, adrenaline screaming through his veins.

But then it’s like all of that fades into silence, replaced by the feeling of the earth giving out beneath him.

Because when Joel looks back, all he sees is you, sprawled next to the body of a stalker, still as death.

A rush of ice floods his veins. His heart lurches painfully, breath strangled in his throat. A sound, ragged and broken and desperate, tries to claw its way out of his throat.

Not again. Not fucking again.

A half second before his knees give out, you move, body shaking with adrenaline. A wince as you yank the knife free, blood smearing across your fingers. Very much alive.

And something inside him snaps.

It should be relief. It should be gratitude. Instead, it erupts as fury.

“What the hell were you thinking?”

You blink up at him, still catching your breath, thrown by the anger written across his face.

“What?”

It’s not fair. You were helping. You weren’t just standing around, waiting to be saved.

Joel’s jaw is clenched so tight it looks like it might shatter. He gestures wildly toward the corpse beside you, toward where you had been lying so fucking still just moments ago.

“You sneak up on a goddamn stalker like that?” His voice rises. “Do you have a death wish?”

Your pulse is still hammering from the fight, and now it spikes with anger.

“I was helping, Joel,” you snap, stepping forward. “That thing was coming up behind you. I saved your ass.”

He growls, drags a hand down his face, fingers pressing into his beard like he’s trying to ground himself. “You should’ve stayed put.”

You scoff. “Right, I should’ve just stood there and let you get torn apart?”

Something flickers in his expression, dark and pained, but you don’t let yourself falter. You shove past the fear curling in your gut, past the way he’s looking at you like he’s seen a ghost.

“I handled it,” you grit out. “I’ve been handling shit like this since before I met you.”

Joel doesn’t answer. He just stares at you, breaths coming out erratically, like he’s still trying to convince himself that you’re standing here. That you’re not bleeding out on the forest floor.

That he didn’t almost lose you.

Joel’s eyes flash. “That ain’t the damn point.”

“Then what is the point, Joel?”

“The point is I turn around and see you on the goddamn ground, and for a second, I thought —”

He cuts himself off abruptly, like the words have lodged in his throat, choking him. His jaw tightens, fists clenching at his sides.

You stare at him, your breath still coming hard. There’s something in the way he’s looking at you, like he’s barely keeping himself together. The tick of his jaw, the flare of his nostrils, the way his fingers curl and uncurl like he needs something to hold on to.

And it hits you.

He thought he lost you.

Your stomach twists. The blaze of your own anger dies, just a little. But you don’t know how to soften things between you. You don’t know how to dull the double-edged knife that’s lodged between you both. Not when he’s spent so long keeping you at arm’s length. Not when he’s pushed you away again and again.

So instead, you say, “Well, you didn’t.” Your voice is flat. “I’m fine.”

Joel sighs, but it’s not relief, it’s frustration. He shakes his head, turning away like he can’t look at you anymore, but then he turns back just as fast, like he can’t not look at you either.

“You don’t get it, do you? You don’t get what that did to me.”

Your lungs constrict.

“Joel…”

“I thought you were dead.” He says shakily. He steps closer. “For one second, I-” He swallows hard, like the words physically pain him. His gaze pins you in place. “You don’t know what that feels like.”

The words tear out of you before you can stop them.

“Yes, I do.”

Joel freezes.

Your throat tightens. You weren’t going to go here. You weren’t going to bring it up. But the dam has broken, and there’s no stopping it now.

“Yes, I do know what it feels like.” You bite. “You think you’re the only one who’s lost someone? The only one who’s had to watch someone they care about die?”

Joel’s expression darkens. “That ain’t what I said.”

“But it’s what you think, isn’t it?” Your heart is hammering now. “That you’re the only one who gets to feel like this? Like you have permission to treat everyone like shit because you’re hurting?”

“That’s not —” He stops himself, jaw locking like he’s fighting with himself. “That’s not what I meant.”

You’re both standing too close now, neither of you willing to back down. The heat of the fight, of the near miss, of the way things were going so good right up until now, crackles between you, thick like a brewing storm.

Joel clenches his jaw again, shoulders rigid, like he’s holding something back.

“I ain’t losin’ you again.”

Oh.

It’s so quiet, the way he says it.

It’s the closest he’s ever come to saying the thing he won’t let himself say.

You don’t know what to do with this, don’t know how to hold it in your hands without breaking it, without breaking yourself.

So you do what you always do. You deflect. Because it’s easier. Because it’s safer.

"Losing me. Like you weren’t the one who pushed me away?"

His face crumples, like something inside of him has snapped in two.

Then, like an act of God, the sky opens up. A torrential downpour crashes over you, drowning the moment before it can fully take shape.

You don’t think, you just move.

You sprint toward the brush where Ellie is still waiting, pulling her hood up over her head, grabbing her arm. You don’t stop as you run past Joel, past the wreckage, past the bodies. The rain is deafening, hammering against the pavement, but you can just barely hear the heavy thud of his boots behind you. You don’t look back. You can’t look back. You don’t want to see whatever’s on his face right now.

Up ahead, just off the main road, a small dirt lot appears, more old, rusted RVs scattered across it, long abandoned.

You rush into the nearest one, sweeping your eyes over the space, assessing. Empty. Safe enough. You pull Ellie in after you.

The walls are thin, the rain pelting against them like a thousand watery bullets.

A beat later, Joel steps inside, slamming the door harder than necessary. He doesn’t say a word. Just stands there, dripping, arms crossed, jaw set like stone.

At first, there’s only silence, save for your heavy breaths and the downpour raging outside. You shake the water from your hair, peel off your soaked jacket. The space is small, musty, thick with old dust and mold. You take stock quickly. Nothing much useful left behind, but at least the place is mostly intact.

Ellie, sensing the tension, slips toward the back of the RV. She mutters some half hearted excuse about looking for books before disappearing into the bedroom, door latched quietly behind her.

The silence stretches, tight, loaded.

It would be so easy to let it go. To let the rain wash the fight away.

But neither of you are that kind of person.

Instead, you shake your head, scoffing as you remove your wet sheath. “You always do this, you know that?”

Joel growls, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

“No, seriously.” You turn to face him fully, arms crossed and eyes aflame. “You always have to be the one making the calls, telling me what I should or shouldn’t do —”

“Because you don’t think!” He cuts you off, words like dynamite. “You throw yourself into danger without a second thought, and I gotta be the one picking up the pieces every goddamn time.”

You bristle. “That’s bullshit.”

“No, what’s bullshit — ” he takes a step forward, “ — is me turnin’ around and seein’ you on the ground like a goddamn corpse.” His face twists, like the image is still burned into his mind. 

“I thought — ” 

He stops short, shakes his head like he can’t even bring himself to say it out loud. His jaw is clenched so tight you can hear the grind of his teeth. 

“Do I gotta spell it out for you why that scared me?”

Your pulse is still hammering from the fight, from the rain, from him. You stare at him, eyes boring a hole into his, trying to shove down the twisting thing in your stomach. “You’re acting like this because I fucking scared you?”

Joel doesn’t hesitate. “Yeah.”

Your jaw tightens. “I don’t need you to be scared for me, Joel. I can take care of myself.”

Joel laughs, but there’s no humor in it. “Yeah? That how you ended up with the Fireflies?”

The words land like a slap.

You blink.  The storm outside rages, wind and rain hammering the metal walls, but it’s nothing compared to the whirlwind inside you.

Joel sees it. Sees the crack in your armor. And like a hunter who’s caught the scent of blood, he runs with it.

“You’re so damn sure you don’t need anyone, but you ran straight into their hands, didn’t you?” He barks. “You left, and look what happened.”

Your breath catches.

He doesn’t stop.

“You think just ‘cause you survived one bite, you can’t die? Immunity won’t stop a horde from tearin’ you to pieces. Won’t stop livin’, breathin’ people who’ll think up a million worse ways to hurt you.”

And he’s right, isn’t he?

Joel doesn’t even realize how deep he’s cut until he sees your face change. The fight bleeds out of your expression, replaced by something hollow, something stricken.

For the first time tonight, you have no comeback. No fiery retort, no quick-witted barb to throw back at him. Just a quiet, stunned look, like he’s finally broken something that won’t be so easily put back together.

Joel’s stomach drops.

He fucked up.

You don’t say anything. You just turn and push past him, yanking the camper door open and stepping out into the storm.

Joel reacts immediately.

“Shit.” He’s out the door before he even thinks about it, boots sinking into the mud as rain bears down in sheets. The wind howls, whipping through the trees, drowning out everything but the pounding of his heart.

You’re already walking away, shoulders hunched against the downpour, your body a rigid line of anger, on the verge of combustion.

Joel catches up in a few strides, grabbing your good wrist, not hard enough to hurt, but firm enough to stop you. 

“Wait!”

You rip yourself free, spinning on him so fast he barely has time to react.

“Don’t.” Your voice shakes, though whether it’s from anger or exhaustion, you don’t know. Your clothes are soaked through, hair dripping, rainwater running down your face. You wipe at it roughly, but it doesn’t stop the sting behind your eyes.

“I can’t do this anymore, Joel.” You’re nearly shouting over the roar of the storm.. “I can’t stand you acting like I’m a fucking liability. Like I’m a mistake you made.”

Joel’s hands curl into fists at his sides. “I don’t —”

But you don’t let him finish. You’re too wound up, too desperate to get the words out before your courage fails.

“You must regret it. Not shooting me when you had the chance.”

Joel’s face darkens, his whole body tensing like a drawn bowstring. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Say it out loud?” Your voice is almost shrill now, though you’re past the point of caring. “Say that your life would be easier with me gone? Or that I left you and maybe things would’ve been easier if I never came back?”

His eyes flicker like a dying light, wounded and volatile all at once. His breath is heavy, his shoulders tight with restraint.

And when he speaks, it’s quiet. Lethal.

“You really think that little of me?”

You falter. Just for a second. But you can’t stop now.

“You tell me, Joel.” Your voice wavers, but you keep going. “Because you’ve sure as hell been acting like it.”

Joel groans, his hands braced on his hips. “Jesus Christ.” He shakes his head, like he can’t believe this conversation is happening, like he can’t believe you’re happening.

Then, quieter, “You don’t get it.”

“Oh, I get it just fine.” The words snap out before you can stop them. 

“No,” he snaps, stepping forward. “You don’t.” 

The rain lashes down, thunder rumbling in the distance.

“You got no goddamn clue what it was like, wakin’ up and findin’ you gone. What it’s been like since.”

Your breath catches in your throat. But he’s not done.

“You think I resent you?” His voice is bitter now, his brows pulled in disbelief. “No. I’m mad at you. I’m so goddamn angry I don’t know what to do with it.”

You swallow. “Why?”

“Because you left.” 

And he breaks like a frayed rope snapping. Like the words he’s been keeping tethered all this time have finally broken loose. 

“Because you didn’t even give me a goddamn chance to tell you how fuckin’ sorry I was. How sorry I still am, every goddamn day.”

Your heart slams against your ribs.

You don’t know what to do with an apology from Joel, don’t know how to hold it in your broken hands. You shake your head hard, rejecting it.

“I had to go,” you murmur, throat tight, barely able to force the words out.

Joel shakes his head, rain flowing in rivulets down his face, as if coming from the storm in his eyes. “No, you didn’t.”

He’s quieter now, but somehow it cuts deeper, right through the places you’ve tried so hard to keep impenetrable.

You don’t know what to say. Don’t know how to stand under the weight of this moment, how to breathe around the ache tightening in your ribs. 

So you do what you’ve always done when things get too hard. You run.

You push past him into the trees, feet fighting for traction in the mud, heart hammering against your ribs. The rain is endless, beating down in thick sheets, soaking through every layer of you. You don’t care. You just need to get away.

Joel curses under his breath and follows, his boots splashing through puddles. “Damn it, would you just stop?”

And then he’s somewhere else.

The sun, golden, peeking from behind a distant mountain. The warm drizzle on his skin, the air thick with the smell of wet earth and late summer. You, laughing, spinning through the rain with your arms wide, the fabric of your shirt clinging to your skin, your hair dripping down your back. The way you looked at him then, like maybe he wasn’t as ruined as he thought he was. Like maybe, just maybe, he deserved something good.

Then the night you left.

The haunted old house, the sound of rain against the leaky ceiling. The warmth of you in the room, the way his body had finally, finally, relaxed after so many nights on edge. The rare kind of sleep that only came when he let himself believe, just for a moment, that you were safe.

Then waking up to nothing.

The gut wrenching silence, the hollowness where you should have been.

The way it felt like losing everything all over again.

Now.

Joel’s heart clenches so hard it hurts. His breath is ragged, throat tight, stomach churning.

Not this time.

“Hey!” He shouts, cutting through the storm.

You freeze, spinning around to face him.

Joel steps closer, his frame so broad and unaffected by the torrents soaking you, like you could crawl under him for cover.

“You don’t get to do this again.” The rain plasters his hair to his forehead, those dark curls framing his frustrated face. “You don’t get to run like that. Not again.”

You’re drenched, blinking rain from your lashes, but he sees it all in your face. The hurt. The anger. The fear. The weight you’ve been carrying all alone, the one he neglected to help shoulder.

“I’m sorry.” His voice cracks, and he doesn’t even try to hide it. “I’m so fuckin’ sorry, you have no idea.”

You don’t move.

His jaw clenches. He shakes his head, his throat working. “I never wanted to push you away… I never wanted you to go.” 

It feels like lightning the way it shatters something between you. The fight leaves you.

Your shoulders drop, your lips part like you might say something, but you don’t.

Slowly, cautiously, like he’s afraid you might break under his touch or disappear with the rain, Joel reaches for you. A hesitant brush of his fingertips on the slope of your shoulder, a question unspoken.

And you let him.

You let him pull you into his arms, let yourself fold against him, let yourself be.

In this embrace you find shelter in the storm, against everything that’s threatened to pull you apart. His shirt is soaked, his lungs heaving something terrific beneath your cheek. And here, pressed against the thundering beat of his heart, shielded from the downpour, you weep.

For all that you’ve lost.

For all that you and Joel have left in your wake.

For the ugly truths neither of you can take back.

Joel presses his face into your hair, his arms locking around you like he’s afraid you’ll slip through his fingers again. His lips graze, barely there, against your temple.

And when you finally find your voice, it’s quiet.

“I’m sorry, too.”

He just nods.

“Can we go back inside?” He asks.

You nod against his chest.

Joel keeps an arm slung over your shoulders as he leads you back to the RV. His touch is steady, solid, and you let yourself lean into it. Not because you need to, not really. But because, in this rare moment of honesty you’ve carved out together, there’s a part of you that wants to.

Wants to need him.

Wants to lean on him without the guilt, without the shame that’s rooted itself deep in your bones. The kind that twenty years of survival has carved into you, the voice in your head that says relying on anyone means weakness, means death.

Because maybe that voice is wrong.

Maybe, just this once, you don’t have to listen to it.

Inside the RV, the air is still thick with lingering tension, the scent of damp earth and mildew settling around you both. The rain still beats against the thin metal walls, but it’s quieter now. Muted, almost peaceful.

Joel lowers himself onto the bench seat at the dinette, exhaling as he leans back. That’s when you notice the way his mouth twitches, the way his fingers tighten briefly on the table’s edge.

“You’re hurt?” you ask, eyes narrowing.

He hesitates, but then sighs, dragging the sleeve of his jacket up to reveal a nasty scrape along his forearm. The wound is raw, angry, streaked with dirt. “Got myself on the damn door earlier. I’ll be fine.”

You shoot him a look, arching a brow. “Let me clean it up.”

You expect refusal, annoyance, a trademark scowl.

But Joel doesn’t argue. He just nods, resigned.

You gather the supplies, sitting across from him at the table. He rests his arm between you, his skin warm beneath your fingertips as you gently push his sleeve further up. Your movements are careful but clumsy, your cast making everything harder, your fingers still stiff and uncooperative. Joel could probably do a better job himself, but neither of you acknowledge that. There’s an unspoken understanding between you now. You have to let each other help.

Because it’s not about whether you need it, or whether you deserve it.

It’s about trust. About allowing yourselves to take care of each other, even when it’s uncomfortable, even when it feels like a risk.

You work in silence, dabbing antiseptic onto the scrape, your touch light but deliberate. Joel barely flinches, watching you with an unreadable expression. You press a bandage over the wound, then reach for the roll of gauze to wrap it in place, securing it with slow, precise movements.

Joel still doesn’t speak, just watches you.

Watches the way your brows pull together in concentration, the way your damp hair clings to your cheeks, the way the soft evening light catches on the delicate slope of your nose, the curve of your lips.

You look beautiful like this.

And Joel wants to tell you. Now. Because what does he have to lose? Because the words have been clawing their way up his throat since before you left, since before you broke him that night, and he hated himself for not saying them when he had the chance.

But something stops him.

A promise.

He made a promise. To get you somewhere safe first, to let you decide, openly and freely, what you wanted.

He has failed you in so many ways, so many times.

But this promise, he will keep.

…

Joel tells you you're still a few days out from where he thinks the Wyoming safe haven is.

The truth is that you’re closer than that.

But there’s somewhere else he wants to take you first.

He’s banking on your inability to read a map to pull this off. And despite what he’s muttered in moments of frustration, he knows you’re capable, fiercely so. But you both know geography isn’t exactly your strong suit.

Still, you sense something is up.

"Joel, why are we going this way? We should be heading —"

"Just trust me."

That earns him a pointed look, one that says really? But the thing is… you do trust him.

Ellie, on the other hand, can barely contain her excitement. She keeps sneaking glances at Joel, smirking, dropping hints that only fuel your frustration. You hate not knowing things. And whatever this is, it's something.

Joel is different, too. Not softer, exactly, but focused. Like this matters to him. And maybe it’s because this is the first time in a long time he’s leading without it being about survival.

Since that night in the rain, something between you has shifted. The sting of old wounds still lingers, but there’s something else now, too. Something smoothed over and soothed by your shared apologies.

You don’t know that it’ll ever be the same. But maybe that’s okay. Maybe something stronger can be forged here.

You’re deep in thought when Joel crests a hill ahead of you. He turns back, raising a hand, motioning for you to follow.

And then you see it.

Your breath catches, and for a moment, you forget how to move.

Yellowstone.

Untouched. Preserved. Alive.

For years, you'd feared it would be lost, just another casualty of the world’s ruin. That the image you clung to, the dream of this place, would shatter the moment you laid eyes on it. But it’s here. Whole. The geysers still erupt, steam curling into the sky. The hot springs shimmer in the afternoon light, deep pools of blue and green. A herd of bison gather in the distance, unbothered. The land is still theirs, always has been.

You think about the destruction and the decay and the rot, the way that’s what the world was for you for so long. The desperation of persistent existence in a hostile world. But that’s just human creation, isn’t it? Things that were always unnatural, always a blight on the land. So it makes sense that Earth would reclaim what was hers, what humans tried to make theirs. But here, this beautiful place… This has always belonged to her. Things that are meant to survive, do. 

And then, you understand.

Joel didn’t just bring you here as a detour.

He brought you here for you.

It’s not about survival, or obligation, or guilt.

This is kindness.

And it scares you a little.

Joel is watching you carefully, hands braced on his hips, his expression unreadable. He won’t admit it, but he’s nervous. He doesn’t know what you’ll do. If you’ll say something. If you’ll shut down. If you’ll run.

But you don’t run.

You let yourself have it. The moment, the quiet, the peace.

And then you smile. Wide, real.

Joel’s heart flutters, skips a beat. He’s seen you smile like this before, but only once. In a way that makes you look light, a way that lets him imagine how you might have looked had the world never ended. Like for the first time in a long time, you’re not carrying every awful thing that’s ever happened to you on your shoulders.

You turn to him, your heart so full it almost hurts., but not in that familiar way that wounds.

“Thank you.”

Joel doesn’t know what to do with that. Doesn’t know how to say you don’t have to thank me, I wanted to do this for you. So he just nods.

You look at him, and for maybe the first time, you see him.

Really see him.

You let yourself look, let yourself hold his gaze without fear of what you’ll find. And what you do find nearly brings you to your knees.

Because there’s no anger there. No pain, no regret, no sorrow.

Just joy.

Your joy, reflected back at you, in Joel.

Your fingers twitch at your side before you reach out, hesitating for only a second before taking his hand in yours. Your fingers entwine, squeezing tight.

He squeezes back, two quick pulls.

You linger, just for a moment, before letting go.

Ellie, as always, chooses the perfect time to interrupt.

"Okay, so what do we think? Jumping into one of those colorful pools or a geyser explosion first?"

The answer, of course, is neither, because, No, Ellie, that shit will boil you alive.

Even as you explore the land, watching the geysers erupt into rising plumes of steam, admiring the bison as they graze in the golden light of dusk, feeling the earth itself pulse with life beneath your feet, you can’t stop looking at Joel.

You try to take it all in, try to commit every detail of this place to memory. But more than the mountains or the rivers or the impossibly colorful pools, it's him you can't stop staring at.

For so long, you'd avoided really looking at him, expecting nothing but sharp edges, harsh words, cold indifference, the naked truth of your own fears reflected back at you like a broken mirror. And now that you've let yourself look, really look, and found none of that, you don’t want to look away.

You want to keep watching him in the same way he watches over you, with quiet intensity, with fascination and care and warmth.

That night, you make camp beneath the vast, endless stretch of stars. Yellowstone is quiet, the kind of quiet that feels untouched, sacred. The fire crackles between you, sending embers up into the night sky like sacred offerings. You shiver when the temperature cools, and without a second thought, Joel shrugs off his jacket and hands it to you.

You don’t argue. You just take it, curling it around yourself, breathing him in.

“I never thought I’d actually see it,” you admit, voice soft in the rich stillness.

Joel watches you for a moment, then offers a small, reassuring smile. “Plenty more ahead.”

It surprises you, but you believe him.

But as the fire flickers between you, illuminating his face in warm, shifting light, something else inside of you shifts too.

You’re almost there. Almost to the supposed safe haven. Almost at the end of this journey together.

And you can’t help but wonder, what happens then?

What if it’s real? What if it’s peaceful and quiet and safe and everything you dreamed about?

… And what if Joel gets restless?

Can a man who hasn’t stopped moving in twenty years ever really settle down? Will he stay? Or, once he’s satisfied that you’re safe, will he move on? Will he go back to Boston, back to the life he knew before you?

And if he does stay, if you both do… What then?

Without the forced proximity of survival, without shared danger or a destination binding you together, will he become a stranger again?

Will you?

Across the fire, Joel sees the way your expression shifts, the way uncertainty flickers through your eyes. You watch him warily through the glow of the flames, and something about it makes anxiety flicker inside of him.

He wants to say I don’t want to lose you.

But he doesn’t.

Because saying it out loud makes it real. Makes it something that could be lost.

So instead, he stares into the fire, jaw tight, trying not to think about what happens when you get there. Trying not to think about you finding safety and realizing you don’t need him anymore.

About you meeting someone else, someone better, someone softer, someone who can protect you without hurting you in the process.

He stays quiet. So do you.

And though neither of you says it, neither of you sleeps easily that night, both staring up at the stars, feeling something precious slipping, slipping, slipping through your fingers.

[karaaeilish]

౨ৎ the last leaf; b. eilish

౨ৎ angst & fluff ` ౨ৎ artist!billie x ill!reader ⋆˙⟡ when the last leaf falls from the old ivy — your life will end. you’ve clearly decided this, until a miracle happens before your eyes

in a little district west of washington square the streets have run crazy and broken themselves into small strips called “places.” these “places” make strange angles and curves. one street crosses itself a time or two. an artist once discovered a valuable possibility in this street. suppose a collector with a bill for paints, paper and canvas should, in traversing this route, suddenly meet himself coming back, without a cent having been paid on account!

so, to quaint old greenwich village the art people soon came prowling, hunting for north windows and eighteenth-century gables and dutch attics and low rents. then they imported some pewter mugs and a chafing dish or two from sixth avenue, and became a “colony.”

the small studio you shared with your friend ava was located on the third floor of a five-story brick building. the view from the window, alas, wasnt a masterpiece of nature, pleasing the eye every day when the first rays of the sun illuminate the streets soaked by the night's rain.

all you saw was a dull, dim courtyard and a blank brick wall twenty steps away. old, old ivy with a gnarled trunk rotten at the roots had twined halfway up the brick wall. the cold breath of autumn had torn the leaves from the vines, and the bare skeletons of the branches clung to the crumbling bricks.

your languid, almost forcibly lifeless gaze had been directed at the window for the last twenty minutes, while ava was quietly but persistently discussing something with the doctor who had come to you for the third time this week. perhaps she thought that you would want to somehow eavesdrop on their conversation, but you, in fact, frankly did not care. you've decided everything for yourself. and maybe your pessimistic view of this situation was stupid and desperate, but it's the only thing that gave you hope. hope to calm down and finally go to a better world. where there is no fear, bitterness and illness.

quiet muttering under her breath becomes clearer, louder, and ava's gaze becomes more worried when she comes into your bedroom, saying something to you, most likely asking about your well-being for the hundredth time that day, as if at one moment something will click in your head, and a thin thread of light will frame your upset mind.

“twelve,” you said, and a little later “eleven”; and then “ten,” and “nine”; and then “eight” and “seven,” almost together.

ava looked out the window, puzzled. what was there to count?

"sweetheart.." she asks softly, quietly, almost maternally. her light hand falls on your shoulder, but at first you don't react, looking at the exhausted old ivy through a veil of approaching tears.

"six" you whisper, barely pausing between the quiet words. "five", then "four", and then you finally look at her. "when the last leaf falls, i must go, too"

for a brief moment, a suffocating silence hangs in the room, while ava tries to process your words, which are nothing more than the feverish delirium of a sick person. even if it was so, you sincerely wanted to believe in it. the disease will soon win and you’ll finally be able to rest from all this.

"you mustn’t, stupid" she abruptly jumps away from you, walking from one corner of the room to the other, then again approaching your bed, on which you lie motionless, only watching her every movement with your eyes. "your chances of recovery will increase if you finally understand that you’ll survive"

her eyes are mixed with anger and irritation, but also with a huge concern that pours out in every gesture of her hands. and you can't be angry with her. she clearly wants to see you alive more than you do yourself. and sometimes it’s worth using radical solutions to achieve this.

"and you know what? i'm going for billie. maybe at least she can set your brains straight" your eyes widen, your body finally shows noticeable signs of life when billie's voice appears in your head. a grumpy girl, unbearable to the point of foaming at the mouth and eternally angry at the whole world. but something about her fascinates you. you fidget awkwardly, carefully sitting up and leaning your back against the soft pillows. "you can't call her. ava, she can't see me like this!"

you raise your voice, but regret it a few seconds later when you start coughing and ava holds your shoulders, helping you stay in a sitting position. you know how hard and painful it is for her to see you like this.

“if she’s the only chance you have to believe in your recovery, i swear i’ll send her to hell after you.” ava pokes your shoulder lightly, not causing any pain but clearly driving home her point.

maybe you weren’t able to argue with her, maybe you just wanted to see that grumpy face you’re in love with too much.

billie appears in your room like a storm, barging in with a worried and at the same time terribly displeased face. her hands and clothes are heavily stained with oil paint, her hair is tied up in a high bun, but she managed to get even that dirty with light paint, causing a few stray strands of her bangs to stand on end. she still smells the same — sweet peach, oil, some kind of mix of different types of professional paint, and a hint of the bitter black coffee she drank in the morning. honestly, it's only now that you've realized that you have no idea what time it is.

"you're delirious," her voice shakes. you always know what that means. and it always makes you sad.

"and you’re trying to write your 'masterpiece' again?" her face goes from angry to more upset, and you realize you've hit the nail on the head.

for months now billie's been saying she's about to paint a masterpiece that will change the world, but every time she has nothing to show for it other than a torn canvas in the trash and some wasted materials. "i'll paint that picture, you'll see"

her face softens slightly when she sees the small smile on your face, unaware that it's her own.

"i'd like to see it" you whisper as she finally moves to sit carefully on the edge of your bed, trying not to get the un-dried paint on her pants all over the place.

the first minute passes in quiet, as you both watch the three swaying leaves on the green ivy. your thoughts are unconsciously intertwined, hers, about your kisses on her plump lips, yours, about her hands caressing your face in the morning. and billie made you believe without a word that you could beat the disease.

in the second minute her hand goes down to yours, fastening your fingers in a strong, but such a gentle lock, giving bright hope in the impenetrable darkness. billie could rarely be seen like this — calm and affectionate, not shouting at anyone, not trying to annoy everyone, just because she had a bad character. no, with you she was different. completely different. a girl in love.

"the last leaf won’t fall. never" she says quietly, but confidently, that her whisper cuts the cool air of your room. pure thoughtfulness is written on her face, as if she is drawing her self-portrait in her head, knowing exactly how much her eyebrows are frowning, or her lips are pursed. although, it was more like the brush was in your hand. you painted every bit of joy on her face, and she let you take over her mind, capturing portraits of you.

"you're talking nonsense. strong winds and rain are forecast for the night." you protest, but your words don't seem to impress billie at all, because not a single muscle twitches on her face. as if she was absolutely certain of what she was saying. the last leaf won’t fall.

and she was… right?

the first thought that runs through your head the next morning is that you are alive. but what about the ivy? feeling a sudden surge of strength, you kneel on the bed, resting your palms on the wide windowsill, decorated with some silly pictures that billie drew during one of her visits to your apartment.

your eyebrows rise in surprise as you look at the brick wall and notice that the very last leaf, which was not promised life, remains on. still dark green at the stem, but touched along the jagged edges with the yellow of decay and disintegration, it hung bravely on the branch twenty feet above the ground. you cannot believe your eyes, but it’s there, it’s there! that last leaf was the one that meant your life.

but how? everything around you had suffered from the relentless wind, the endless rain, but not the ivy. a smile comes to your face, and hope comes into your heart.

the first day passed, and even in the twilight she could see the single ivy leaf hanging on its stem against the brick wall. and then, as darkness fell, the north wind rose again, and the rain pounded the windows incessantly, rolling down from the low-hanging dutch roof.

and still the ivy leaf remained.

after the first day passed the next few, which have more effect on your life than the last few months and heaps of medicines. your body blossoms like a lily of the valley, and a sincere smile plays on your face every day. ava's eyes sometimes tear up, seeing a spark of hope in every look you give her.

the doctor came again, examining you and proudly telling you that you can get better. and you could ask for nothing more. only to see billie's face again, to thank her. to finally dare and feel the sweet taste of her lips with a hint of cigarette smoke.

but that same day, in the evening, ava came to the bed where you lay, happily finishing knitting a bright blue, completely useless scarf, and hugged her with one arm - along with the pillow.

"i need to tell you something, dear," she began, hesitating slightly before continuing. "billie died today in the hospital from pneumonia. she was only sick for two days"

your body shrinks, your chest becomes heavy, and your breathing is difficult.

"on the morning of the first day the porter found the poor girl on the floor of her room. she was unconscious. her shoes and all her clothes were soaked through and cold as ice" pause. long, silent. "nobody could figure out where she had gone out on such a terrible night, but then they found a lantern that was still burning, a ladder that had been moved from its place, some abandoned brushes and a palette with yellow and green paints"

a clear picture is beginning to form in your head, but you are still in a state of denial and numbness. ava gently touches your chin, forcing you to look out the window.

"look at the last leaf of the ivy. haven't you ever wondered how it doesn't tremble or move in the wind? yes, my dear, thats billie's masterpiece — she painted it the night the last leaf fell"

based on "the last leaf" o. henry

౨ৎ tags; @billiesbabygirll, @amara-eilish, @st0nerlesb0, @bxllxebxtch mystiquemm, @bilswifee, @dragoneyelashart, @bilssturns, @chrissv4mp, @allyeilishh, @bitchesbrokenpromises

[skyrim-forever]

It's WIP Wednesday somewhere

Hi everyone! It's another Wednesday :) Thank you to @umbracirrus and @silly-little-diary for tagging me, awesome to see your wips <3

Tagging: @theoneandonlysemla @pocket-vvardvark @dirty-bosmer @sanzas-reverie @changelingsandothernonsense @thequeenofthewinter @friend-of-giants @labskeever

@firefly-factory @sulphuricgrin @scholarlyhermit @ladytanithia @saltymaplesyrup @lucien-lachance @heavy-metal-dick @hircines-hunter @pyre-of-pages @captain-of-silvenar @chiqita

Ayem is done and now it's on to Seht, I also have decided to add some good accents to each of them even if the gold thread is making me insane

And I havee been getting some writing done, here's a excerpt from chapter 2 of my new fic Changing Tides (Chapter 1 is on ao3 now). We get some backstory on how the mysterious mer Odile found washed up came to be there:

“And what, pray tell is the idea of the crew?” Visdros was not the type of mer to avoid a question, not the sort to dance around an answer with flowery language, he was direct to fault. 

“I confess I did not come on behalf of the crew.” The other’s shoulders tense and he spots him bit his lip, only an arms length away as they both grasp the window pane, the sound Qraalaro’s nails make as he digs into the dark wood audible. 

“No, no you didn’t.”

“You are not yourself, lately.” He pauses for a moment to gather the right words as not to condem Neisha. “There are concerns, I wonder for your wellbeing.”

“You do, do you, Brother?” He nods. 

“If you need time away or free from your responsibilities then-” A violent cackle comes from deep inside the other, his voice yet not entirely. Not as it was on nights they laughed with too much Cyrodiilic rum. “Have I offended you?” It’s all he can think to say. 

“You want me to take time away, do you not? Perhaps you could leave me at some port, take all that is mine for your own?” Another guttural laugh. “Why do you not just kill me here, Visdros? Like she has said you would.” What? As the initial shock that Qraalaro would, could ever imagine his brother harming him in any way, further confusion sets in around this she. 

“Brother, you are kin,” he appeals to their earlier discussion, “my captain. I could never oppose you, no matter what.” His pupils dart across the other’s figure, trying to hold in the panic and pain threatening to break through like a dam bursting. Yet, the other’s eyes do not reach his own, instead fixated on the dark sea, the clouds from before have returned and the Gods have decided to lightly spit on them. With great care, the younger broaches the difficult truth. “She. Who is she?” Who has poisoned your mind as such to believe I would betray you, that I could forsake the other brother I have still breathing? Lie to rest another of my kin by my own hand instead of an enemies? 

He doesn’t say any of that, the anger rising along with the panic and pain but they can all be kept at bay. Like when any ship comes to harbour, they must wait for there to be space at port. Ushering in pain, he pleads with his brother. Seems they were both not themselves today. 

“Who has you convinced I am capable of harming you?” As the rain increases, no longer spitting but making an effort to drown them, Qraalaro conjures a spear. 

“She said you would say that too, say that you are not able to yet I know what you can do. We trained in the same halls, by the same soldiers, you gutted your first man before I did. Do not lie to me so flippantly.”

“Who is she?” Thunder has begun, but the volume of Visdros' voice eclipses the brewing storm beyond the bay window. “Who, Brother, who?” Another dark, deep cackle, as though it was arising from the depths of the ocean, leaves Qraalaro’s mouth and he wonders if this was still his brother or had something stolen his skin. 

[waliminium]

Everything But Goodbye

Pairing: Harvey Specter x Reader Warnings: angst, mild language, comfort after hurt, emotional suppression, repressed feelings Word Count: 1.3k Summary: When you take a job offer from another firm without telling Harvey, it feels like a betrayal. Harvey acts cold, like it doesn’t matter. But when he shows up at your apartment unannounced the night before your final day, the truth spills out—angry, broken, and full of all the love he tried to suppress.

It started with silence.

Not the cold kind, not at first. Not the kind that cuts or leaves bruises in its wake.

No. The beginning of the end came quietly—late nights where your voice stayed in your throat, half-smiles across Harvey Specter’s office that never quite landed, a hesitation before knocking on his door. You had always knocked before entering, but he used to say “Come in” before you even raised your hand.

Lately, he didn’t say anything at all.

And you didn’t know how to say I’m not sure I belong here anymore without sounding like betrayal.

So instead, you said nothing.

And he didn’t ask.

Pearson Specter had been your second home for years. A battlefield, a family, a place where ambition didn’t come with shame. Harvey had made you feel like you belonged in a world made of sharks, suits, and scotch.

But over the past few months, it had started to feel like the walls were closing in. That same ambition that once made you feel powerful began to feel like a leash. You were good—damn good—but you were still Harvey’s associate. Still in his shadow. Still waiting for a recognition that never came.

You didn’t need him to hold your hand.

You just needed him to notice you were drowning.

When the offer came in—senior partner, another firm, your name on the door—you didn’t jump. You read it five times. Slept on it. Waited.

Waited for him to say something. Anything.

He didn’t.

So you said yes.

And you still didn’t tell him.

He found out from Donna.

You knew that’s how it would go. You hadn’t expected her to lie for you. But it still stung, hearing your name laced in tension as he closed the door to his office a little harder than usual. Donna avoided your eyes the rest of the day.

You didn’t see him after that.

Not until the night before your last day.

It was raining—because of course it was. A downpour in the middle of spring, when the air was warm but the storm was unforgiving. You’d just gotten out of the shower, wrapped in a towel and too exhausted to care about dinner, when the knock came.

You frowned. You weren’t expecting anyone.

When you opened the door, you froze.

Harvey Specter stood in the hallway, soaked through, shirt plastered to his chest and jacket dripping on your welcome mat.

Your heart plummeted.

“Harvey—”

He brushed past you.

No greeting. No smile. Just quiet fury in a perfectly ruined suit.

“What the hell is this?” he asked, holding a crumpled letter—your resignation.

You closed the door slowly, your hands trembling. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“You think I give a damn about where I should be right now?”

He dropped the letter on your counter like it was poison.

“I had to hear from Donna that you were leaving. Donna. Not you. Not a conversation. Not even a goddamn email.”

You swallowed hard. “I was going to tell you.”

“When? Tomorrow, after you cleared your desk? Maybe I’d find a post-it that said ‘Thanks for the memories’?”

“I didn’t think you’d care,” you said, quieter than you meant.

That did it.

He stepped forward, and there was something feral in his eyes.

“You didn’t think I’d care?” he repeated, voice sharp and rough. “You’re the only person I’ve trusted at that firm in the last five years, and you thought I wouldn’t care?”

“You’ve been shutting me out for months, Harvey!”

“And you decided to walk away without even talking to me first!”

“I tried!” you shouted, voice cracking. “I waited for you to notice! I waited for you to see me. But you were too busy pretending I didn’t matter. So I made a choice for myself for once!”

He stared at you, breathing hard. Rainwater clung to his lashes, and it hit you how rare it was to see him this undone.

“You mattered more than anyone,” he said, lower now. “That’s the problem.”

You blinked.

He dragged a hand through his soaked hair, stepping away from you like he couldn’t trust himself if he stayed close.

“You mattered, and I didn’t know what to do with that. I thought—if I kept things simple, if I kept my distance—then maybe I could survive it. Maybe I could keep being your boss and not completely lose my goddamn mind every time you smiled at me like I was something more.”

Your breath caught.

“I thought I could be okay watching you move on, take bigger roles, maybe fall in love with someone better than me. But I didn’t think you’d leave.”

His voice cracked on the last word.

You took a step forward. “Harvey…”

“You broke something,” he said, jaw clenched. “You broke something I didn’t even know I still had in me to break.”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“Then why didn’t you fight for it?” he snapped, and for a second he looked like a man begging and breaking all at once. “Why didn’t you slam my door open and demand I see you? Why did you walk away like it was easy?”

“Because loving you isn’t easy,” you whispered.

The room went still.

He stared at you like he’d been punched.

You hadn’t meant to say it.

But there it was.

“I love you,” you said, quieter now. “And it hurts.”

His eyes closed, just for a second, like he needed a moment to keep standing.

“I never asked you to love me,” he said hoarsely.

“No. You didn’t,” you agreed, tears slipping down your cheeks. “You just made me believe there was something real between us. And then you made me feel stupid for wanting more.”

He didn’t move.

You took a breath, every inch of you aching. “So I left. Because I couldn’t stay in that office one more day and pretend it didn’t kill me to stand next to you and mean nothing.”

Harvey looked up at you then, and something in him broke.

“You never meant nothing.”

“Then why did you treat me like I did?”

“Because I’m in love with you, and I didn’t know how to handle it!” he roared.

You flinched.

He paced the room, chest heaving, dragging his hands down his face like he was trying to scrub away years of repression.

“I’ve been in love with you for so long, and it scared the hell out of me. Because you’re brilliant and kind and everything I don’t deserve. And I thought if I kept you at arm’s length, I could keep you.”

He turned back to you, and his voice cracked open completely.

“But I didn’t keep you. I lost you. And I did it to myself.”

You were crying now—really crying—and when he took a cautious step forward, you didn’t stop him.

“I love you,” he said again, but this time it was broken. “I love you, and I’m sorry it took losing you to say it.”

You reached for him like you’d been drowning and he was the only thing left.

He folded into you instantly.

His arms wrapped around you tightly, anchoring you, holding you like he was afraid the world might take you from him if he let go.

“I should’ve told you sooner,” he murmured against your hair.

“I should’ve stayed,” you whispered back.

“You were right to leave,” he said, surprising you. “I didn’t give you a reason to stay. But if you give me another chance… I will.”

You pulled back just enough to look at him, to search his face for doubt.

There wasn’t any.

Only regret.

Only love.

Only him. Then, quietly—like the silence that had started it all—he cupped your face in his hands, reverent, careful, and kissed you.

It wasn’t rushed. It wasn’t angry.

It was everything unsaid, everything broken, everything healed in the space between two heartbeats.

It was a beginning.

And this time, it didn’t start with silence.

[amirsnothere]

Found Home

Bucky X Reader

A/N - Just like everyone else, I watched Thunderbolts and I'm back on my Marvel loving shit. It's been a few years, but I'm excited to be back in it! I definitely had to take time to revisit all the Bucky content in preparation for this series though! Right now, the series is intended to be timeless, but I personally sorta picture it being before/around FATWS timeframe.

The first part is set in Bucky's POV, but all the rest of the parts will be Reader POV

Series Warnings: slow-burn, swearing, shouting, slight violence, pregnant reader (with another man's baby), Bucky's trauma, reader has trauma, mentions of verbal & physical abuse (let me know if there's more!)

Summary: Bucky has loud neighbors. One day he decides to pay them a visit.

Word Count: 695 (following parts will be longer)

Pt 1 Pt 2

Bucky minded his own business. After everything, he had earned his peace. Or what semblance of peace he could get.

The nightmares hadn't stopped, everyone who may have once loved him was dead. But he had a consistent place to call "home" at night, and he even had a regular visitor at the bird house he had attached to the dining room window. The bird house was a gift from Sam, a man Bucky thought he might consider as a friend, he said to remember him by. Three solid wood walls, the fourth replaced by the window itself, allowed Bucky to see anytime he had a visitor.

Bucky had named his little bird friend "Sam Junior" in his memoriam. When Sam heard, he protested, but he was laughing the whole time he begged Bucky to change it. After a bit of bribery, Sam was able to convince him to just to call the bird SJ, so that no one would know that his entire legacy lay in a cardinal.

The occasional visit from SJ to his window often felt like the best of sense of "home" Bucky had had in a very long time. Unfortunately, SJ didn't stick around for long when the yelling was happening.

Bucky didn't want to get involved in other people's problems. Hadn't his own parents had the occasional fight? Well, when he moved in, maybe it was just occasional, but since then, the fighting became more frequent, and much harder to ignore.

Bucky saw the women who lived next door almost every day. She usually left for work around the time he went on his morning run. They'd often walk down the stairs together, sometimes commenting on the landlord's ridiculous new policies, or making small talk about the weather. Bucky noticed she seemed to always run cold - whether it was raining, snowing, or 90° out, she always wore a sweater. He couldn't help but be impressed by her collection.

When she came home from work, he was often making his own way back from errands or meetings or whatever else he did to occupy his time. They'd walk back up the creaky stairs together and he'd listen as she mentioned the latest gossip from her job or what she planned to make for dinner. Sometimes they ran into each other outside of this predictable routine - maybe he would offer to help carry her groceries - she would always politely decline.

He almost never saw her partner. Bucky heard his loud, usually angry, voice frequently enough, that he knew the man still lived there. The ring on her finger suggested she was at least engaged, if not married, but he wished she would just dump the guy already. He sounded like a bully at best.

But Bucky really was trying to mind his own business, and if it was anyone's place to bring up their concerns, her ex-assassin neighbor certainly wouldn't be at the top of the list. Sometimes after a bad night, he would really consider saying something more forward to her, but the look in her eyes and the sharp corners of her smile warned him not to. So he stuck to talking about the weather.

Bucky could hear the yelling from outside of the building when he got home later one evening. Usually, he would just hear the man shouting at the woman. Occasionally she would let out an exhausted cry of protest, but it normally just sounded like a the typical argument she had likely grown used to losing.

As Bucky climbed the stairs to his floor, a deep feeling settled in him. Something about tonight did not feel normal. Reaching his floor, he paused, clenching the handrail until it started to warp under his grip.

Bucky was used to the man sounding angry. Somehow the word "furious" seemed more fitting now. She usually sounded frustrated. Now, he couldn't help but hear fear.

Bucky took a deep breath, a deep strech in his chest as he tried to steady his exhale. He flexed his fingers as he let go of the handrail. So much for minding his own business.

He walked up to the neighbors’ door and knocked.

[himasgod]

hey so can I have scenario where Lilia vanrouge realises he has found his first romantic true love in his s/o? (Like his past confessions to his previous loves didn’t work out and he was always so busy in the past. And then he finally gets a yes in this reader s/o). He makes s/o smile all the time, and his s/o is always doing little things for him like if he’s getting tired in the sun, s/o gives him a paper umbrella from their bag so the sun isn’t hitting him anymore? (Normally he’s the one taking care of others).

LILIA X READER

Where he realizes he has found his first true love in you

"Yes."

Such a simple word.

A word that had slipped through his fingers so many times across the centuries, like trying to catch moonlight on his palm.

Lilia had lived long enough to watch stars fade from the sky and rise anew.

He had waltzed through wars and lullabies, raised a prince, led armies, sung songs to lull mortals and fae alike into slumber.

Love?

Oh, he'd been fond of many.

He’d admired beauty, laughed with companions, flirted with charm so natural it melted resistance like sugar in warm tea.

But the truth was simpler, harsher: his confessions had always been too late, too soon, or too lost in the wake of his duty.

A warrior. A guardian.

A noble fae with too many burdens and not enough time.

He never blamed them—those he'd once looked upon with fondness. They saw him as a figure of legend. Or a friend. A commander. A ghost of the past. Not one had returned his feelings in full.

Until you.

You, who had stumbled into his life with no reverence for titles or age-old legacies.

Who laughed at his dad jokes and gently tugged him back down to earth when he floated too far into memory.

You, who didn’t care that he had danced with queens or outlived empires.

And it wasn’t the moment you agreed to go out with him that shattered something inside his ancient heart—it was every tiny moment after.

Like today.

Sunlight poured through the trees as you both walked together in a quiet corner of Diasomnia. The heat was mild for most, but Lilia had always been more comfortable under moonlight than midday sun.

He thought nothing of it—he’d simply endure.

But you noticed.

Without saying a word, you reached into your bag, pulled out a small delicately folded paper umbrella—hand-painted with lavender blossoms and starbursts—and popped it open above his head with a soft shk.

"There," you said, adjusting it with a little smile.

"Can’t have my favorite bat getting crispy."

His laugh came unbidden—light, airy.

"Crispy, am I? What a fate for a soldier of centuries."

"Even ancient warriors deserve little shade," you replied, matter-of-fact, and took his free hand like it belonged to you.

He stared at you for a long moment, the paper umbrella filtering light into a soft halo around your hair casting gentle shadows across your cheek.

His heart ached.

Something he hadn’t felt in centuries.

He had loved the world, yes.

He had loved many things.

But this… this was the first time someone had ever noticed his weariness before he even mentioned it.

The first time someone had taken his hand like it wasn’t a ghost of the past, but something very real, very now.

Very yours.

The paper umbrella, the gentle hand in his, the way your eyes softened when you looked at him—not with awe or reverence but affection.

That was the moment he knew.

You were his first true love.

Not a passing infatuation. Not a wistful longing across a battlefield or court dance. This was not born of adrenaline or mystery—it was slow, kind, human.

And fae.

And real.

He said, voice unusually quiet.

“Did you know… you’re the first person who ever said yes to me?”

You blinked.

“What?”

He chuckled, but there was a crack in it. A little tremor like the first drop of rain on a long-dry plain.

“I’ve lived so long. Far longer than anyone should, perhaps. I’ve confessed before. And every time… well, it wasn’t meant to be. I never begrudged them—it just… was. And then there was you.”

“You said yes. And more than that—you stayed.”

You squeezed his hand.

“Of course I stayed. Why wouldn’t I?”

He smiled then, but it was different.

“I think you’re the only person who’s ever really… seen me. Not the general. Not the legend. Just… me.”

You leaned into his side under the soft shade of the umbrella.

“I don’t see a legend when I look at you, Lilia.”

He tilted his head.

“No?”

You kissed the corner of his mouth, right where his smile lived.

“I see you loving me. I see... my eyes loving yours trough the glimpse of them”

And that did it.

He pulled you in close, umbrella tipping slightly as he buried his face in your shoulder and let out a breath.

Lifting his head. Looking into your eyes.

Kissing your lips softly while caressing the back of your neck.

For someone who had always been the one comforting others, always the one standing strong and smiling and never quite needing—

—for once, he let himself be held.

He let himself be loved.

[lagncx]

Protecting a fire with bare hands 15

hostile mind.

// Lets lock in.// shit hits the fan tw: violence, gore. blah blah.

////taste that? it's your soul leaving ur throat////

   “Lord Heimdall,” you said emotionlessly, your eyes looking down at him. Heimdall stood still, arms folded. Since when have you called him lord?

———

   Heimdall and you made your way outside of Asgard. There was heavy rain. Asgard only rained when you were in distress, but you were fine; you would say something if you weren’t. Heimdall looked down as one of the kids came running to you with a wide smile, hugging onto your leg, making you stop. The kid was jumping excitedly about you having your arm back, but you sneered and grabbed the child’s arm, almost throwing him to the ground. 

   “I don’t have time for your games, runt.” The child looked up at you with wet eyes. You huffed, continuing on with Heimdall. He looked back at you, “That was quite…out of character for you.” You looked around unfazed. “I have orders to follow. No time for children, " you said plainly. Heimdall chuckled, “That I can agree on.”

   Heimdall whistled, Gulltoppr turning to him with a delighted purr, nuzzling into his hand. Heimdall turned to the group of Einherjar, tightening his arm bracers. “So what’s the plan today, golden boy?” One of the soldiers asked with a chuckle from the group. 

  Heimdall laughed along before going straight-faced. “Funny, and as a reward for your jesting, go clean Gulltopprs stall.” The soldier frowned and stood still. Heimdall waved his hand. “Go on.” He smirked, watching the man walk into the stall. 

   Heimdall sighed, looking back. “Anyone else? No? Good.” Heimdall's hand lay on Gulltopprs head. “Tonight we travel into Vanaheim with three main objectives: find Freyr's Outpost, capture Freyr, and destroy any threats to Asgard.” 

  One of the women soldiers stepped up. “And? His followers will they just be left to walk freely?” Heimdall went to answer before you stepped up. “No, we kill them, every single one.” Heimdall looked at you. “Why?” He asked, and you looked at him, almost shocked that he would ask.

“Why let them live?” You stated the soldiers cheered, “That’s what I’m talking about, nobody gets to threaten our All Father and get to keep their heads.” One exclaimed, “Also like the new look, you're one of us now.” You remain unshaken, standing still as you observe the group disbanding and readying their animals and weapons. 

   Heimdall hopped onto Gulltoppr. “Isn’t that neat? They save your life and you’re gonna repay them with their blood.” Your nose twitched slightly. “No such thing as debt.” You spat. 

  Heimdall rode up beside you, offering you a hand. “Here, hop on.” Gulltoppr nuzzled into you excitedly, but you pushed her away with a sneer. You whistled the horse that Heimdall broke in Vanaheim, walking up with heavy armor. You lifted yourself onto its saddle, grabbing the horn and pulling the reins, moving your horse back some. Heimdall sat back up with a Hand on his thigh. You always wanted to ride Gulltoppr.

   Looking down, he saw his feline companion slump sadly. He leaned down and scratched her head, making her perk up as her back foot tapped in pleasure. He smiled.

  “Alright, we’re ready to move out.” Said one of the soldiers. Heimdall nodded, and suddenly a portal opened in Vanaheim's dense forest on the other side. Heimdall rode beside you. “You’ll be leading us to his hideout.” You looked at him. “Yes, lord Heimdall.” 

————

   The ride was slow, troops took care of any pests that were in the way, but other than that, it was peaceful. Heimdall had made some small talk with some of the troops, insulting Heimdall and the vanir, but you remained silent and still, like stone.

   Riding behind you, Heimdall was peering into your mind. He was pulled into it like there was an icy grip. Heimdall looked around, and everything was dark and empty. Taking a few steps, he could hear his feet hit the floor like it were wet. Always water with you.

 “Do you have to leave your snail trail everywhere?” 

  He heard in the distance. Was that him? Heimdall turned behind him, seeing a flickering light, which turned into two lights. The figure inched closer, snarling, foaming at the mouth, a dog. No, a wolf. Heimdall stepped back, the wolf gunning for him, jaw-dropping and chewing into him! 

  Heimdall gasped, being pushed from your mind, he looked down seeing the blood drops on his fists. Heimdall rubbed his nose, the blood stopping after a moment. What was that? A wolf in your mind? But where were you? All he could feel was fear, anger, and pain. Could that be you, defending yourself?

  Heimdall wiped his nose clean and sniffled a bit, looking back up. You stopped and looked around. “We’re here.” The troops scattered around in search of any of Freyrs group. Heimdall rode beside you. “It’s abandoned.” He said

 “Maybe…” Heimdall cut you off. “It is, I hear nothing. Not here or for miles.” You remained silent. 

  After minutes of searching, Heimdall called back the troops, “Let’s keep moving, we’re bound to find them.” The god said with a sigh as he turned Gulltoppr to continue down the road. 

  You stayed still. 

  Hopping down from your horse you walked into one of the makeshift tents baskets weaved by grass in the corners of the small tent along with a fireplace, the flakes on the wood was still hot, and the smell was like something was cooking, there was fat that was melting on the stick above the fire. Your head turned slowly, and your eyes caught onto marks on the floor, scratch marks. 

—-

Heimdall ran a hand over his chin, feeling the stubble that told him it was time for a shave. His thoughts were abruptly interrupted as he turned to witness a peculiar scene. You were hoisting a little elf girl by her vibrant horns, tossing her out of a tent and onto the ground with a flutter of panicked squeals. She landed at Heimdall’s feet, dust rising around her. With a swift, practiced motion, you drew your blade from its sheath. It gleamed dully in the light, strikingly silent and eerily soulless.

  You held it up to the little one’s throat, making her fall silent in fear. Looking up you pressed it harder into the girl's skin. “Freyr! You have one second to spare this girl and reveal yourself, you and your little friends come and offer yourselves up. Do that and we can avoid the hard way. You can’t hide!” 

   You looked down at the girl, pulling back your sword, preparing to strike. 

  “You wouldn’t hide.” You whispered, and suddenly you turned towards the sound of splashing water, Freyr running with his hands up in surrender, “Alright! Alright! I understand.” He said others came from their hiding spots, not many, so they weren’t a threat. “We’re here. Just don’t hurt her.” 

  Heimdall raised a brow. “Hello, sizzles, been a while. Everyone, please take a look at this…god they idolize.” Heimdall hopped off Gulltoppr and walked to Freyr circling him like he was lunch “You must feel like shit.”

   You looked up at the god with his eyes on you. Now you had already said at Asgard that you would kill them all. Anyone who worshipped Freyr dared to disobey the All-father…but something made you stop. 

 You let go of the girl, watching as she stumbled into Freyrs arms crying and shaking. He shushed her, looking at Heimdall. “Why do you hunt us? We are no threat,”  Heimdall laughed loudly. “Oh, Freyr, we both know that’s not true. The all-Father believes you are working with Freya and the uh—God killer.” Freyr clenched his jaw, and there was silence. Heimdall and he stared at each other intensely. 

   “Cloud your thoughts as much as you want, but I know the truth,” Heimdall smirked, and Freyr closed his eyes with a long sigh. “I’ve fought with you before, I know better than to try and hit you.” 

   Heimdall patted his back, pushing him to the ground on the third pat. “Good man. Helmets, take them all.” 

 You stepped up. “Too much, kill them and keep Freyr.” Freyr looked up. “No! What’re you saying?” His followers shouted in shock and backed up in fear and panic. You walked up, pulling out your sword. Heimdall turned your way, bumping shoulders, stopping you. “I would really like to understand why you want to kill these defense—… useless creatures?” He whispered, and you raised a brow. 

  “When have you backed out of getting blood on your blade?” You whispered back, looking down at him almost disrespectfully, making him sneer. “Just for that. Back down.” He said, and you furrowed your eyebrows, eyes flickering back and forth to the refugees. 

  You put away your sword, backing away, your frown turning neutral. Heimdall rubbed his forehead and turned around, waving his hand, making the Einherjar push Freyr back towards his camp along with his followers, forcing them into one of the makeshift tents. 

  Heimdall kicked at some dirt. “We’ll take base here, till the All Father is ready for us.” 

———-

    You stood outside the tent where they were holding Freyr, wiping your sword. You gazed into the steel. 

  Heimdall stood next to the wooden beam with Freyr tied to it. Heimdall stared at you with a soft face. Freyr leaned into his peripheral. Heimdall's mouth turned into a disgusted frown as he turned to meet with the tied-up, pathetic vanir god. 

  “You’re staring at me again…what do you want?” Heimdall turned back to face into the distance. Freyr leaned forward with a groan from being hit in the stomach by the helmet, who just wanted a laugh. “The girl…she uh-she doesn’t seem like the other Helmets.” Heimdall rolled his eyes.  

   “Save me your acts and be plain, I know you helped her, and I know she has planned against the All-Father with you. The All-Father saved her from a fate such as her blood father and mother.” Freyr looked between you and Heimdall. “What? She—She-no. You’ve got it all wrong. She didn’t do anything, not any type of planning against the old goat.” 

   Heimdall rolled his eyes. “Hold your lies, your pathetic life will soon be no more after the all father is done with you.” Freyr shook his head “Heimdall, listen asshole.” Heimdall glared back at him, kicking him in the jaw, making Freyr groan as he flexed his jaw in pain. Heimdall leaned down to face him. “Stop. Talking.” Freyr sneered, “Look into my eyes when I tell you this, the girl cares about you. I don't know why, but you and she have grown together; she told me so. Look at her!—“ 

  Freyr said, then leaned closer and whispered, “Look at her. You know this isn’t her; she was never cruel. Loyal, but never cruel. She wanted to keep everyone safe. Even her enemies, she would’ve never saved me if not.” Heimdall could see nothing but truth. “Now tell me, Heimdall, is that woman the same one you know? She’s just like your army, empty-minded and tormented by bloodlust.” Heimdall turned to look at you, his chest felt heavy. He felt his tongue get dry and his eyes burn 

   Suddenly Freyr let out a yell breaking his binds and dodging his way out of the tent he was as quick as he was stupid. Your eyes went wide as he came towards you full sprinting, laying a hand on your head as you held a dagger to his throat “I know you. This isn’t you.” Freyr was pulled from you shoved to the ground hitting his jaw hard making him cringe. You started to breathe heavily wiping your eyes letting out frustrated yells as you panicked, almost as if you wanted to take your own eyes out. “Get—get it off of me!” 

  Heimdall picked up Freyr by his hair. Freyr struggled against him until the ground started to glow a blue. You looked down eyes full of fear as roots from the world tree itself began to circle you. You looked up and reached out only to fall through the realm itself “Heimdall!” You yelled as you plummeted down. Heimdall was going to dive in after you only for the floor to turn back solid, sending him face first into the grass. 

  Embarrassing.

  Heimdall pushed himself up, turning back to Freyr. “Where did it take her?” 

 Freyr smirked, “Why don’t you peek in my mind and find out, daddy's boy.” 

————

  You felt your stomach in twists as your body was twirling around as you fell, you felt your head breaking into pieces as you struggled, your vision was fizzing in and out and you could’ve sworn you were being ripped apart. One moment you were in Asgard now you’re falling through realms. Are you ever gonna catch a break?  

   Maybe a break in your fall. 

 Landing on solid ground with an “oomph” noise. You couldn’t push yourself up, making a wheezing noise, the air returning to your lungs as you looked up, seeing figures running to you. Their voices are almost unrecognizable. “Wait—That is not Yngvi.” A woman spoke, her hair brown and long, her eyes dark. 

  No shoes. You groaned as you went to push yourself up only to be held down by a tall…tall man. “Who are you? Where is Freyr?” You looked up at the talking head in the woman’s hands, his eyes golden. Then you looked at that orange tuft of hair rushing your way with…oh—the god killer. 

“Wait! I know her!” he exclaimed, recognition lighting up his face. “She tried to help me and my father deal with Garm, but… she got hurt in the process.” The last part came out almost hesitantly, a flicker of uncertainty breaking through. After all, she had endured pain and lost an arm, yet here she stood—seemingly unscathed. 

His father stepped forward, addressing the small gathering. “Indeed, she aided us. She was alongside Heimdall and Thrúd.” 

The woman turned sharply, her eyes narrowing. “Heimdall? She’s with Odin?” The tension in the air thickened, curiosity and concern intertwining as the implications settled in. Leaning towards the giant man she whispered “Why did you not kill Heimdall when you had the chance Kratos?” 

  You pushed yourself up knocking the woman off of you “Kratos? Is that your name?” The man looked at you “I am no threat, But you will put no hand on Heimdall.” The woman grabbed your arm. “You are in no position to make threats.” Loki grabbed your arm pulling you away from her “Freya she’s not like that. She’s—she’s really nice. She got the Midgardian kids inside of Asgard where they’ll be safer, she’s teaching the kids to defend themselves without becoming einherjar!”

  His father scolded him with a warning look “Boy.”

   “Father, trust me.” He pleaded with him. You looked at the woman “You are Freya? Goddess Freya, Baldurs mother?” She looked at you with a solemn expression “I am.” You looked down bowing your head “I’m sorry for your loss.” 

  She clenched her jaw, keeping silent. You looked back between her and Kratos, “if you can befriend your son's killer, you can let me go back to Vanaheim.” She shook her head “He and I are not friends. What were you doing in Vanaheim? Why shouldn’t I kill you?”

  You looked around at the group realizing it was hopeless. There was no leverage; they would just leave you for dead as they went to save Freyr. Suddenly two brothers rushed to you “Hey! The girl is decent. Ain this like fate er somethin?” Brok said Freya frowned “I gave that spell to Yngvi in case he was ever in trouble not to send stray mutts our way.” Loki looked at you “I’m sorry, Freya, that was rude.” 

   Freya scoffed “she herself looks like an einherjar her paint on her face is almost as black as night!” She pushed your head making you hold back an insult and she stopped looking at you “Your head, it has a rune.” She looked at you for a long while before grabbing your hand 

 “Come, let’s get your mind clear.”

—————-

   Heimdall left Vanaheim leaving Freyr with the troops. He needed to rest, he swears it’s like one moment you’re home and he’s so close to you that it starts to make him sick then you’re gone again. Leaving him alone. 

  He beat Freyr but he could only do so much, could break so many fingers and punch so many ribs before he left him lethally injured. He didn’t break, and his mind was filled with nonsense Heimdall couldn’t handle reading. Heimdall pushed a stray hair back into its place. His heart felt heavy when he felt his intricate braids. The night of the ceremony you had said he looked better with his hair down, he despised how it made his stomach flutter.

  When you both sat at the table at the Black Thunder and when you thanked him he could see it in your mind that you wanted to say something else, but both of you couldn’t accept it. Was that fear? Heimdall rubbed his eyes tiredly. 

  “Heimdall?” Peeking through his fingers he looked down at the kid, one of your students. “Ztephanie.” He said waiting for her to continue “Where is—“ he cut her off “She’ll return, she’s just…she’s in Vanaheim.” He cringed inwardly as the lie slipped from his lips. But he knew you…you wouldn’t want the kids worried. 

  She smiled “Doing all she can to help peace between realms. She’s so strong.” Heimdall put his arms on his hips. She looked off into the distance with a warm look then blushed looking at Heimdall “Uh—well I just, she said when she got back tonight she’d observe me using this new weapon I picked up from Tyrs Temple.” Heimdall looked at the weapon. a chain and it was hooked on a sharp blade. 

  She smiled “she said it’s a chain scythe, from another land.” Heimdall nodded “Well you keep that, you’ll learn. Don’t stay up late though.” He continued down the road but stopped, he doesn’t think he can face everyone in the lodge. It was loud there. Heimdall turned and walked to another building, an inn that really had no business only for a few citizens who were too drunk to face their wives and children. 

   Heimdall walked inside and the man at the front desk looked up at him. There was silence the man had seen Heimdall before, he knew the boy loved silence, so they never needed to speak.  

  A drunk man looked at Heimdall “Hey man, you know what I do to loosen my muscles?” Heimdall looked at the man with a roll of the eye “I think of a lovely gal and well you know. There’s some advice for you. Ah shit—you’re Heimdall.” Heimdall looked away “clever as ever sir.” 

  He walked to a room Heimdall pushed his full body against the door, closing it and falling onto a chair in a fluid motion. 

   Heimdall let out a long sigh, his mind drifting off as his muscles relaxed, he leaned over and started to undo his boots pulling them off with a pleasant sigh from him, flexing his foot that was sore from…well not walking cause Gulltoppr was doing all of that, maybe it was the kicking on the stone head vanir god. 

   He stood up body sore since he gave it a chance to rest, he undid his belt his eyes heavy and closed as he did so then he let out a shaky sigh as he felt hands rub his lower stomach slowly fingertips traveling under the band of his pants making his eyes open only for the feeling to go away. 

  His mind was playing tricks on him, cruel tricks.

  He pulled off his belt and the thing everyone called a skirt. Taking off his shirt, he looked at himself from a mirror in the open wardrobe. Long time ago he used to hate his body, his ‘brothers’ were such powerhouses. Tyr was tall, Thor was buff and large, Baldur was lean and stronger punching Thor during a drunken fight one time, ice had frosted on the ginger's beard as he flew into the roof of Black Thunder. 

   Heimdall felt silly and shut the wardrobe, lying down in the bed that was stiff but would do for the night. The moon shone on the wal,l providing a sense of comfort. Now for the next problem, he couldn’t close his eyes. 

  “Hel” he whispered, looking down at the area where the ghost feeling of hands were on his lower stomach, he knew it was your hands. He had lain next to you in the bedroll. You were a wild sleeper. He couldn't get you to rest till he laid a hand on your stomach, but it was also peaceful for him. Heimdall turned on his side the moment he closed his mind. he felt warmth against him, and it comforted him. 

  But it was just his mind. Heimdall knew all about the powers of the mind, he wasn’t stupid. One thing was for sure: he was craving you, everything about you, your smell, your voice, your body…your warmth. Your heartbeat was like a running stream, providing him with small moments of tranquility. 

   “I need you to come home…please.” 

—————

  You sneezed loudly, Freya mixing herbs in front of you, “Someone must be talking about you.” You raised a brow. “What?” She only shook her head, “An old superstition.” You looked down at the table. “Odin, he hexed me, turned me into a mindless soldier like his army. But he’s all I’ve known. I owe him my life and owe him his death.” 

  Freya took her fingers and placed the ointment under your nose and eyes “I know. People in power prey on the weak.” You grabbed her hand “I’m not weak.” She stared at you in silence, you let her go and she sighed “I know you’re not weak. No one could come back from being hurt so many times.” 

   Your hand rubbed against your lips over the scar, “I have to get back to Heimdall.” Freya slammed down her bowl “you can’t stop fate, you’ve talked to the Norns you know you can’t stop Heimdall and Kratos from meeting.” You shook your head “I am the protector of realms. I have lived in both Vanaheim and Asgard! I have sharpened the blades and melted the iron with gold in Asgard and I have crushed the berries and slept next to the wild bison in Vanaheim. 

  Freya closed her eyes “You can’t save everyone.” You furrowed your brows “No one. Is going to stop me from trying.” Loki, who you learned was Atreus, came to you with a bowl and spoon “Made by Tyr.” He said sitting it in front of you, you watched as the man sat across from you his figure tall.

    Heimdall has told you about Tyr…rarely but you have read his journal and breathed in his words. His books have been influencing your actions wishing for peace and a world not separated. 

  But he stared at you, and instead of warmth and spiritual peace and aura. It made your skin crawl. You shook your head forgetting about it. 

  Kratos sat down taking bites from the stew in his bowl. Freya looked down at the table “What our next move should be is returning to Vanaheim, freeing Freyr and—…” she looked at you for a second “And deal with Heimdall.” You clenched your fist, Sindri looked at your knuckles going white looking back up at you sympathetically. 

  Kratos put his spoon down “I will do what it takes to keep my son safe, but I will not kill unnecessarily.” You let out a low breath “At least someone sees sense.”

  Freya put a hand on her head “I know Heimdall and he will not stop. He has too much pride and honor—“ you slammed the table making Sindri jump “Heimdall may be those things but he is only doing what is right his father is all he knows his mothers were pulled from him he has known nothing but Asgard!” 

 Kratos looked up at you “Can you assure me he will not kill my son in Asgard as the Norns said.” You stood up pushing your hands against the table leaning over hanging your head. 

  “Is that all there is to it? Fate…may be written in stone but stone can be broken! You all have suffered great tragedy! Lost sons, daughters, I—I don’t know!” Kratos seemed to shift uncomfortably “Fate doesn’t control you! You do! I may not be in the stones but I won’t just watch as my world crumbles!” 

  Freya put a hand on your chest “It is fate! Ragnorak is foretold, Odin's death is the truth! It could change all of our lives!” You pushed her away others getting up as you put your hands on your head, you felt like your brain was boiling. 

  Sindri came up to you grabbing your hand “Sit down you’re still recovering from Odin's hold on your mind.” 

  You shook your head “I know I was made as a weapon. Made to help the—revolution against Odin somehow. Odin killed my parents, took everything from me, and in all that anguish and fear I swept me and my mother and father out to sea. With just one scream. They rest with the creatures of the deep, where they belong.” 

  You turned around putting hands on your hips looking at the arm that was once gone now back on your hip. “Asgard will fall, but I will not let you shed the blood of my friends, there are Children in that city, old women and men, animals, chickens. All of them deserve to live; they don’t deserve to be punished for Odins crimes. Thor, and Heimdall are a product of their father; they were raised as soldiers with no love and affection. They grew cold. They deserve a chance. So I won’t let you take down my city in flames without me there to get them out. That is all I ask. I don’t want war.”

  Kratos looked at you “Neither do I.” He stood up walking to you looking you in the eye. You kept your stare and without words Kratos nodded “She comes with us to Vanaheim to help our allies.” Freya let out a breath “This is ridiculous.” You smiled as Kratos turned and walked into a door Atreus followed into a separate room giving you a thumbs up with a smile. 

   You looked at Sindri who led you to the side “I think you need some new armor, something that doesn’t scream Asgard.” You looked down at your clothes dirt and grime on some of the white fabric “Here.” You picked up the folded armor he gave you “I took some inspiration from Heimdalls design, you guys seem like two pods in a pea…two peas in a pod? Anyways you guys have been together and you both stand for what you believe in.” 

  You rubbed over some of the details like embroidered waves on the top “Every fabric is from every different realm. I know Heimdalls fast but you’re strong, you endure hits and you have thick skin, so, here’s something to help you out with your future adventures.” 

   You smiled and kissed his cheek making him smile then gag “thanks” you whispered, walking to a room. 

   You sat down on a bed pulling out your sword, it didn’t make the same noise it felt empty. 

  “Hello?” You whispered, you heard no answer “My friend? I need your advice. I need to get back, stop a war…tell Heimdall his father is wrong. I don’t know what to do…don’t abandon me.” You sniffled eyes watering as tears fell on the blade.

—————-

    Heimdall frowned as he felt you pull his bare back into your bare chest “God's woman, I’m trying to rest.” You only chuckled, nibbling his ear, making him slap your leg that was wrapped around his. You let out a sigh as you sniffed in his scent “I love you, gods you’re so amazing.” Heimdall let out a low sigh as he melted into your words he loved words, millions could touch but words were powerful and praise gave him something he never had. Heimdall relaxed his shoulder tilting his head. You let out a chuckle as you jokingly licked his jaw making him wriggle uncomfortably.

  “you’re so beautiful Heimdall.” He let out a soft moan as you kissed his neck, he’s been in charge of people and things for so long, he wanted to be putty in your hands. He whispered “Keep going.” You only kissed his cheek “Can’t right now my love.” He let out a scoff “For fucks sake, why not?” You smiled against his shoulder “You have to find me, I’m not here…I know you miss me.”

 Heimdall jolted awake letting out a gasp. He started to let down his hair with a heavy sigh, his eyes grew wet, it was still dark outside, he laid back down hair surrounding his face. He would not sleep for the rest of the night.

   When the sun rose Heimdall was already walking from Dark Feathers into Vanaheim. His troops bowed down to him “Heimdall, some of his followers got away.” Heimdall with dark circles under his eyes grimaced at the soldier and how his mind reeked with his own anxiety. 

  With a wave he dismissed him. followers were nothing without someone to follow. Walking into the tent with Freyr he sat down on a sturdy basket looking at Freyr. The man stared up at him Freyr chuckled, his breathing wheezing when he took a breath in “Someone didn’t get enough sleep, dreaming about a woman, yea?” Heimdall pointed his blade at him “how do you know that?”

   Freyr let out a laugh that turned into a bunch of “Ah! Ouch! Ooh.” He only composed himself “Just a guess Heimdall you know I dream about women all the time, they comfort me.” Heimdall let out an annoyed grumble tracing the floor with the tip of his sword. Heimdall looked at Freyr “What?” He said and Freyr shrugged “I mean, Heimdall I know you as much as you hate to even think I do, I do.” 

   Heimdall shook his head “I can see your mind. I'm not convinced and I’m not going to speak about my father. But you’re going to speak about Freya and Kratos, what are they planning?” 

  Freyr clenched his jaw and Heimdall pushed further into his mind his purple gaze intensified Freyr couldn’t even dare to look away, Heimdall shook his head “War, they wish to start Ragnarok and take down Asgard?” Freyr let out a sigh in defeat. Heimdall took the horn from his belt looking at the object he remembered he couldn’t believe he had to carry around a horn before his own sword, he asked his brothers why couldn’t their father just lock it away. 

   Freyr and Heimdall sat in silence. Freyr had been the first to say it “What happened to us?” Heimdall rubbed his mouth tiredly “You know what happened, you ran off instead of taking accountability.” Freyr sneered “I ran for my life, from your people your brother. You’re the protector, you should have been there, Heimdall! I was set on fire because your people had no patience. They wanted to learn spellcraft then blamed me for their failure.” 

  Heimdall put a hand under his chin “They said you were the caster. Who was I going to choose Freyr? They’re my people” 

“I was your friend! You called me your Brother!” Freyr snapped at him struggling against his binds. Heimdall looked down “It can’t be changed now so I don’t know why we are speaking about this.” 

  Freyr rolled his eyes as Heimdall got up, walking away “I do enjoy our moments…this is all we have to catch up.” He said walking outside. 

———-

    You, Atreus and Kratos met up with an ally of theirs “Hildisvini!” Atreus smiled and the man nodded “Hello fellow shapeshifter.” Kratos walked with him “Where is Freya, she came to rescue her brother.” The man nodded “She’s leading the search party for Freyr and Bvggir. They’ve been captured and some of us got away.” He stopped and turned to you “I see you brought one of them that threatened a little elf girl's life to me.” 

   You raised a brow “What? I don’t—“ 

 He stopped you “Don’t remember? I do not blame you, your mind was not your own.” Walking towards you slowly he suddenly pulled you into a hug “It’s good to see you again, protector of realms.” You hugged him back “I’m sorry for anything I did when I wasn’t me.” 

  Pulling away he continued on “Another problem is the celestial wolves haven’t been seen for days now.” Kratos and Atreus looked at each other Atreus looked down “The moon?” Hildisvini shook his head “Taken, captured.” Atreus frowned “Like in the prophecy.” You looked up at the sky, the sun majestic as it was scorching, shining over your face. 

   Continuing down the trail you all turned to a giant rock blocking the way “Freya said you could clear the way.” He said looking at Kratos. Kratos made quick work using the spear, throwing it into a wedge blowing the rock apart. Hildisvini nodded “Is that your weapon against Heimdall?” Atreus looked at you but you only smiled back, closing your mind to it. 

  Kratos nodded “Only if it comes to that.” Hildisvini pointed down the trail “If you keep going their den is resting there.” 

—

   You all had realized that you would need to find the moon in order to wake the sleeping beasts, Kratos had found a base where Einherjar traversed you pulled a cloth over your mouth Kratos having you stay back to avoid any word of you working with Kratos making its way to Odin, but you only cared if Heimdall would know.

  They made quick work of the soldiers and the second time they were ambushed you watched how Kratos started to use his own fists leaving the Einherjar to mist as they returned to Valhalla. 

   Making your way to the opening the three of you saw a wyvern and it was not happy to see those two but you, it has smelt you before in Asgard. Confusion in its senses it didn’t attack even though its master yelled at it. Kratos and Atreus had attacked the trainer but you reached out for the Wyvern “Hello seize. Remember me?” The bird clicked and cooed snuggling into your hand. You slowly started to undo its restraints pulling the reins out of its mouth, half of these animals were being led against their will but you were always around the animals. 

   She shook her wings letting out a small call of thanks and she took flight “Bye bye seize.” You said dropping the reins and looking over as Kratos finished off the Einherjar. Atreus and him gathered around an object and you stood behind them looking at the glowing blue object “It’s cold, could it be from helheim? Heimdall must’ve grabbed it while he was helping capture Garm, I—I’m so stupid I didn’t see it.” 

  You put a hand on his shoulder Kratos watching you closely as you went to comfort his son “It’s alright carrot top, Heimdall is fast, sneaky. Hels I didn’t even see him, it was a hectic day don’t feel guilty, we’re going to fix it.” 

  Atreus smiled and held the object to you “Do you want to hold onto it” you shook your head “You do the honors.” He nodded and pocketed it running to a wall that he started to climb. Kratos and you made eye contact he grunted and you nodded to him “Thank you for allowing me a chance to get back to Heimdall. I won’t lie, I don’t think I can convince him to back down, can you really beat him?” 

  Kratos nodded “Yes.” You huffed “Can you beat him till there’s no fight left in him, let me get a chance to talk to him.” Kratos shook his head “I make no promises.” You frowned “Well I do, And I promise you this, I’m not losing any more of my loved ones.” Kratos nodded “And I won’t let anyone hurt my son.” 

  You both made your way back to Atreus. He stood in front of the sleeping wolves and he looked at his father. “Well—here goes nothing.” Putting the object on the floor he used his knife breaking the object blue fog flying into the air. Both of the beasts looked at Atreus standing up with a snarl that turned docile walking towards the cliff looking up at the sky. You let out a shaky breath staring at the darker one with blue eyes. It reminded you of the story you told at dinner in Asgard about the black wolf with green eyes. The wolf approached you and you felt your eyes grow wet. Atreus grabbed your hand “He knows you.” Your lip wobbled “Says your mother used to bring them feasts as thanks.” You felt the wolf let out a cold icy breath on your face making you smile. 

  Atreus walked back to the cliff holding up his bow ready to shoot before relaxing “If I do th-“ you put a hand up “We will deal with the consequences, but your friends need help.” 

  Atreus looked to his father and nodded, aiming at the sun before shooting. You smiled watching the beautiful sky turn night. 

———————-

   Meeting up with Freya she traded places with Atreus. You went to follow Kratos but Freya put a hand on your shoulder “Go help Yngvi.” You looked at Kratos who shook his head “Fine.” You stopped and turned back to them “Heimdall will probably have Gulltoppr with him, please, don’t hurt her. She has no control over Heimdall; he tamed her.” 

  Kratos grunted “I’ve known many animals who died for men’s causes. I will do my best to not hurt the beast.” You nodded “thank you. Here, it could help you.” Kratos looked at your hand, it was a relic the one that Heimdall gave you. “It’ll help you react quicker. Swear.” 

  Kratos took it and hooked it on his side.

  When they were out of site you followed Atreus you held him back watching Einherjar pushing the light elf you were sent to save to a rock Atreus looked around and tapped your shoulder pointing to a hill with the others “What’s the plan” you asked and Atreus was lost for words. You held the bridge of your nose “You all came here with no plan?” Atreus shrugged “I think they said a signal?” You looked at him “You don’t remember?” 

  You both recoiled watching as Hildisvini shot an arrow into a guard you didn’t notice was searching for you both. Now Atreus remembers the plan. 

  “We have to go to Bvggir first. If we take Freyr and they see he’s gone they’ll kill Bvggir cause he has no use to them. You go to him, I'll go to Freyr.” You looked at him “split up? Atreus, I can’t let you go on your own.” He only held your hand “There’s nowhere in the realms where the protector of realms can’t find me.” 

  Before you could object he ran off, blending with the forestry. You let out a huff crawling through the grass. You made your way behind the tent using your sword. You looked at it, your reflection blurry, you silently begged for it to share advice, encouraging words. You cut a slit into the tent peeking in you counted two Einherjar…Barvis and phoebena you had train with them, they used to kick you down and Heimdall would give them that treatment back, you always wondered why Odin didn’t convert you when you were younger, into a Einherjar. 

  You sighed taking a long breath 

‘quick and easy…slice like a hot knife through butter. Wield your steel like water weightless, strong, and soft.’ In one fluid motion you cut into the tent rolling into it and standing up slicing up into the stomach of Barvis and shoving your sword into the skull of Pheobena they disappeared into the air. 

 Bvggir started to quietly plead you couldn’t blame him you stood in front of him seemingly to just have popped out of nowhere like the devil. You wiped the ashes of your peers and turned to Bvggir “Quiet, it’s me. I’m not under Odin's influence anymore” Bvggir smiled happily and you helped him up “Thank gods. It’s so good to see you.” You nodded “let’s get you back to your woman.” 

    Suddenly there was a flare that you saw fly out into the sky. You felt your stomach churn. Walking outside the tent you looked at Atreus and the others fighting as Freyr held his stomach with groans. You ran over grabbing Freyrs hand. He chuckled, “We have to stop meeting like this.” You nodded “I apologize for whatever I did.” He only shook his head “Hels I can’t imagine the torment in your mind. But my sister took care of you.” 

  You smiled “Thank you, we’re even now.” Freyr shook his head “No, now we’re friends.” You both ducked hearing the boom before feeling it as it sent you and Freyr flying. You saw Atreus and Hildisvini fighting off Einherjar as the dark elf beyla took her beloved away from the fighting. You stood up grabbing your sword, in the corner of your eye you saw a bird fly into view before turning into Freya “Yngvi!” She smiled, picking her brother into her embrace.

   You looked around “Where’s Kratos?” Freya turned to you “Buying us time, he faces Heimdall, come let’s be swift.” You felt your wrist grabbed but you only pulled it from her “No—No I- I go.” She shook her head “No! We need you.” She grabbed your arm a second time pulling you back. You turned around following Freya but your feet grew heavy, the dirt squishing under you. Mud. But what water? rain. You looked up at the rainfall falling onto your face, listening silently you heard a woman’s distorted voice speak almost as if many spoke out of one body. 

   “Our blade, our sword. Heimdallr needs you, our son needs you. Please.” You looked down at the water that fell at your feet “Who are you?”

  “We are the seas of every realm, we are the sisters that provide life, we are the ones who gave life to our Heimdallr.” You let out a shaky breath “I thought you were confined by Odin.”

 “We have been with you all your life. Your mother brought you to us, into the water as she plummeted into our icy depths.” You sighed “Yes, to be a weapon. Odin told me.” The rain fell harder “Odin has spent years picking from your mind, go to Heimdallr, bring him to safety. Return to us, return to the sea and we will reveal the truth.” 

   The rain stopped and you looked on at the group struggling to get Freyr away and you turned towards the water from the rain that flowed deeper into the wilderness. You could see paw prints, large paws. You let out a whisper “Gulltoppr.” You took a deep breath walking away from the scene towards the wilderness, towards Heimdall. It felt right in your heart but your stomach churned thinking of leaving the others, soon your feet picked up as you started sprinting.

————————

    Heimdall felt the blood from his cheek watching Kratos get up and running at him for the third time, why? Why would this man not just die? 

    Heimdall slid away from those ugly grotesque blades that the man swung around. The heat from the blades was too close for comfort, pain. Not as bad as he remembered. With a growl he punched Kratos “Do you know your son sounds like a hurt goose when he is hurt?! HOOAG! HOOAG!!” 

  Heimdall chuckled as he ducked the spear, throwing it back. Kratos dodged and Heimdall's eyes caught onto the flashing talisman on his hip “That. Where’d you get it?” Kratos only charged at him, his mind filled with anger. Heimdall felt that damn spear against his throat, his back up against the wall “Luck! That’s all this is! Where is she?! Why do you have that!” Kratos yelled, pulling back the spear and stabbing Heimdall in the arm, making him scream out “Alright! Stop, stop!” 

  Heimdall cried as he slumped in defeat, Kratos turned away from him looking into the distance, his mind rebuilding his composure. “Stand down, this is your last chance to do so.” Heimdall looked up at him “You’re just gonna let me go? Why?” Kratos looked at the spear “She requested me to spare you. But I am not the monster I was so initially I would not have killed you.” Heimdall let out a cough “I don’t believe you, you captured her. Bring her home, to safety.” 

  Kratos turned to him “She is not being held against her will. She is safe, if that’s what you are worried about.” Heimdall shook his head “What is going on in that head of yours.” Kratos stayed silent, was it fear? Anger?  He could feel grief, could smell the adrenaline. Heimdall sneered when he tasted it, that thing…pity.

  “Oh…you’re not actually going to spare me out of pity?!” Kratos stood still “Is this about the boy?” Kratos tensed “Oh, I’m definitely going to gut hi-“ he said, reaching for the spear only for it to blow his arm flying across the field in pieces. Heimdall fell to his knees, tears running down as he tried to stop them, the pain grew. Kratos looked at him. Down at him. “this is your last chance.”

   Heimdall pushed himself up and Mimir sighed “I don’t think that’s gonna be enough for this one.” Heimdall looked up at Kratos. Heimdalls composure was gone, Heimdall felt nothing but glass breaking in his mind, his heart beating faster and faster against his chest. He sneered “after all of this…you think you just get to—walk away?” Heimdall turned to the exposed bone chunks of meat hanging off his bone. Then there was pain. Gods, it was unbearable. Letting out a scream, Heimdall stood up, his arm growing back lined with Bifrost; he waved it, trying it out, feeling the weight of it.

   “You do not get to decide my fate.” 

 Kratos turned back to look at the breaking man. Heimdall clenched his fist “only one of us gets out of here, and it sure as shit will not be you. You are dead, sunshine.” With a yell Heimdall punched the shield of Kratos, letting out a ring as Kratos slid to the other end of the field. 

————-

   You ran but stopped looking up at the sky. It looked like it was raining gold, but it was spears. You looked to your left, hopping onto the wall, climbing it, and when you were on it, you looked down, seeing Heimdall and Kratos. 

   Kratos had slammed Heimdall's face into the ground. You hopped down, running towards them as Kratos started to choke Heimdall. 

  “No!” You said using all your weight to crash into Kratos, pushing him away, you hovered over Heimdall, pulling out your sword. Kratos raised his axe, Mimir trying to get through to him. You threw your sword, Heimdall gasping under you, his hand gripping onto your thigh as you knelt down. “I’m not your enemy!” You pulled Heimdall into your chest, holding him tightly. Kratos stomped up to you, kicking your sword, gripping his axe. “What?” You said, glaring at him, “What?!” His eyes shifted 

  You knew exactly what he wanted. You looked down and pulled Gallarjorn from Heimdall's belt, making him let out a soft no, but you shushed him. Kratos snatched it, stomping away. You looked at Heimdall, tears falling down your face. You kissed his cheek, his blood smeared on your lips. “Oh my Heimdall.” You whispered 

  His hand had a death grip on your sleeve. “Don’t leave-…again.” He wheezed. You shook your head. “Heimdall I—I can’t go back. We can find—-“ Heimdall started to weep, making you freeze. “I want us to return home.” You nodded, “Okay..I’ll go anywhere you are…I love you.” 

  He was silent, his tears streaming. You only cried out small apologies, “Gods, Heimdall, I’m sorry! I love you!” You said, kissing his brow repeatedly, apologizing with love yous and kissing his face. You both sat there for as long as he needed, and you couldn’t move your legs were jelly.

   You both stayed there, you curled over him, water from the rain rising around you both. 

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[porcelainbirdss]

hiii! i love your blog omg

Can you please write about reader x anaxa, reader coming to him after a long day bc they need his presence to relax? tyy

summary: there weren’t many things in this world able of easing the burden off your shoulders. work was never easy, however a certain man’s presence always managed to tame your agitated senses — and for that, you were forever grateful.

cw: gen. neutral reader, fluff, a bit of hurt/comfort if you squeeze, relationship not established, Anaxa might be in denial, i suppose it can be also read as platonic? || wc: 1.4k

today was a disaster.

it all started out with you getting up from your bed, still half-asleep, and tripping over your own limbs, entangled through the chaos of sheets. your knees hit the ground painfully, rapidly snatching you out of your dazed state. that evoked a prolonged chain of curses — and then, you were sure the rest of the day would be the same.

after eating your hardly satisfactory breakfast, you rushed to work, panicked by the late hour. you loved your profession, and wouldn’t exchange it for anything else, but the people you were working with… ugh, must you really say anything?

a multitude of problems piled up — it is only logical that being a dromas’ caretaker wasn’t overly easy, however this time, you felt beyond fed up. one of the large animals got sick, which was manageable. before you finished checking up on its health, your fellow coworker ran up to you, sputtering something about the unstable condition of the fresh hatchling.

it was a pity, but you were one of the few people who were actually qualified, so you had no other choice but see to it immediately.

the remaining of your work hours was equally demanding. you continued to bustle around the space, seeing to other dromas’, and jumping between the sick one, and the hatchling. in the meantime, you had to scold a few of inexperienced people — they were new additions to your team, obviously still foreign to many concepts. you didn’t mean to snap on them, but alas, your nerves caved in.

when evening came, and everything seemed to be under control, you gathered your stuff, eager to finally go home and rest. unfortunately, the gods wanted to poke some more fun at you, graciously bestowing your being with a rapid downpour.

you seethed under your breath, angrily stomping towards the familiar house. you didn’t mean to, but for whatever reason, your own feet led you to Anaxa’s place — and perhaps, you acted simply on instinct. it was common knowledge to you that his presence worked like a charm, soothing every one of your ires. it was definitely a better decision than locking yourself up, and dealing with your own emotions alone.

you stopped in your tracks when you finally reached your destination, knocking a few times. after one minute or so, the door opened, Anaxa’s face being the first thing to greet you. his expression was amused, but at the same time painfully unimpressed.

he lifted one eyebrow at you, sending a quizzical look when you kept silent, furiously wiping at your brow when droplets of rain continued to seep into your eyes. "why, hello. you don’t look happy.” he commented in a flat tone, stepping aside.

you huffed in exasperation, shivering when the clothes clung to your body uncomfortably. "ever so perceptive, i see."

"it’s not hard to deduce, looking at your dismayed bearing." the man responded, sighing when you wrung your soaked attire. "why didn’t you go straight home, [name]? i don’t have any spare garments for you."

you offered a shrug, quickly taking off your shoes. "i don’t know. i just—" you paused, eyebrows narrowing into a frown, "i had a bad day."

Anaxa nodded in understanding, beckoning at you with a wave of his hand as he started to stroll towards the living room. you followed in tow, your limbs still trembling from the coldness. seriously, you were completely out of luck today — but his mere presence already caused you to relax your stiff shoulders. maybe you were right to come here.

you observed him pull one of the drawers open, digging through the bottom before tugging out two towels. "here you go. dry yourself off, and tell me what caused your woes." he handed you the things, and you smiled at him weakly.

"well," you began, sitting on one of the leather-bound chairs, "generally speaking, my morning started out really bad, but i won’t bore you with that."

Anaxa hummed under his nose, seating himself as well. the look on his face remained unchanging, but something managed to soften the corners of his eye. "if you want to tell the full story, go ahead. i won’t stop you."

you wiped your face dry, hiding the wide smile stretching your lips behind the shield of cotton. "i tripped and fell when i was getting up from my bed."

"how intelligent." he remarked sarcastically, though it lacked in any real bite.

you ignored the comment, moving on. "then the breakfast i made tasted bland, and i was almost late for work."

Anaxa’s two-color iris kept fixed on your form, and he huffed out a brief chuckle. "i suppose things of such nature happen to everyone, once in a while."

"but that’s not all!" you retorted, attempting to squeeze the water out of your hair, "we have new people on the team and, ugh—!" you grumbled, ire prickling at your still-wet skin at the mere thought of them. "who even let them work there?"

he crossed his legs. "and what did they do?"

"first of all, i had to check up on one of the dromas’. it was sick, so that made me worry enough as it is…"

"sick?" Anaxa interrupted your rant, leaning in with interest — or maybe something closer to anxiety — because, as you know, he was a rather big fan of those creatures.

"yes, sick. it had some digestive problems, so i examined it, and issued a special diet." you explained, smirking at his sudden change in demeanor. "we had all the food we needed in stock, but those morons didn’t listen."

he breathed in exasperated astonishment. "they didn’t listen to you? what a display of folly. you are far more qualified than majority of them."

you nodded, thinking that you were, indeed, qualified — but surely not as much as Anaxa. no matter how much you educate yourself on dromas’, you won’t ever be able of besting his immense knowledge. "i know, right? i lectured them, and even then, they still made simple mistakes. anyway, you know of the newly hatched dromas, i assume?"

the man’s eyebrows furrowed together, as if he somehow managed to deduce your next words. "that i do."

"guess what," you sighed, folding the damp towel on your lap, and reaching for another one, swiftly drying your clothes, "it’s not exactly healthy either. it’s condition wasn’t the best, but it only got worse during the night."

Anaxa’s expression shifted into something pensive as his fingertips drummed against the armrest. "i trust you took care of that?" he asked, but before you could answer, he spoke again, "if its well-being remains bad, you can reach out to me. actually, i will go see to it as soon as—"

"woah, easy there." you chuckled, amused by his waterfall of words. he was always rather verbose, but when it came to dromas’… "i took care of everything. the little one already feels better."

he fell back into the chair with a relieved exhale, and you thought it’s a good thing you stopped him, else he’d burst out of his house in the middle of a downpour. "you are a blessing for those poor animals, [name]. without you, i’m sure they would all perish.” he scoffed bitterly.

"well, somebody has to keep everything in check, no?" you laughed quietly, satisfied once you were done with drying yourself off. your attire was still wet, but there was as much as you could do. "anyway, i’m sure you’re busy. i won’t take up any more of your time."

Anaxa pulled himself up from the chair, taking the towels from you, and putting them away somewhere else. then, he turned to face you. "actually, i would prefer you to stay."

"why’s that?” you inquired, surprised. he was never overly keen on people, and for all this time, you were convinced he merely tolerated your presence.

"it’s raining, and you are cold. obviously." he explained, as if you weren’t fully aware of your current state. "if you get ill, who will take care of the dromas’?"

you cracked a smile, leaning back into your seat. "alright then. if you insist."

"i’ll give you something warm to eat. you need to keep your body healthy." Anaxa continued, now turning towards the kitchen, his slightly stern words leaving no room for protest.

you hummed to yourself, watching him get busy by the stove. the man possessed an undeniably kind spirit — though it was a rare display, usually masked by scoffs and huffs, veiled by inconspicuous excuses. still, you couldn’t help but chuckle silently, moved by the careworn tone of his voice. Anaxa could be sweet… sometimes.