#This piece is only like 5 frames long and yet I struggled to keep focused so I’m surprised I even finished it tbh

[alfieeespams]

Togachako Smooches! :DD

I found an old animation sitting in my drafts and so I decided to polish it up! It’s an attempt, though I’m not very experienced in animating anything since it takes too long for my patience to keep up XD

I hope you enjoy it! :DD

[forsakenoathkeeper]

I Am Alive (chapter 2/?)

Chapter 2: An Officer for Society

Deviant!Connor[RK800] x (fem!)Reader Rated M(18+) for canon-typical violence and gore, medical procedures, and graphic sexual content

Chapters: 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • 11 • 12 • more coming soon

You can also read on AO3 & thank you for supporting me ♥

Only a few days after your meeting with Hank, human protestors bombed an android supply truck carrying thirium, wiring, pumps, components, and valuable parts. It was clearly not a robbery. Nothing was stolen. The intent was to destroy.

You had heard the news on the way in to work, and decided to drive yourself straight to the crime scene. Cops were still engaged in a shootout with the assailants, who had hunkered down behind some roadblocks and overturned concrete. Paramedics would have been on site if these were humans. Unsurprisingly, there were only cops.

The android that had been driving the truck was slumped over, hanging halfway out of the driver's seat. He had been impaled by a large piece of shrapnel and was stuck to the chair.

Ignoring the gunfire, you ran to his aid. The cops were too focused and too thinly spread to pay attention to you.

The android in the truck was so hyper focused on the wound that he did not see you approaching. He flinched violently when he noticed you suddenly standing by the driver's side.

"I-"

You shrieked when a bullet ricocheted and skimmed the edge of the truck, making a loud dinging sound right next to you.

"I-I'm gonna try to get you out. Please tell me your diagnostic report - just the critical," you pleaded.

The android stuttered a staticky noise through trembling lips. "Low thirium levels, low pressure valves, weakened motor functions, overheating."

You breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good - none of that is imminent - gonna get you outta here."

The door was gaping open, barely hanging off the hinges. You propped up on the step that aided climbing into the cabin and leaned against the door frame. You wrapped your hands around the shrapnel protruding from the androids abdomen. It was completely coated in thick thirium, making it impossible to decipher, until you touched it. It was a thick piece of steel rebar, and there was no way you could get that out yourself.

"I need you to slide forward so we can get you off this," you pleaded with the android.

He drooped forward and huffed, whimpering static, gravely noises. "I can't - I can't."

"I want to save you, but I can't do it alone. Please help me."

The android's hands flexed, reaching, and stopped for a second, before he tried again, bracing himself against the dashboard. The angle was awkward, he was bleeding profusely, and your hands were covered in it, but you leaned in, wrapped your arms around his chassis, and tried to help him unimpale from the steel rebar.

He didn't seem to be in pain; but, he was panicking, he was scared. Through his clothes, you could feel how bad he was overheating, feel the vibrating of an overworked processor.

Finally, finally, you saw the other end of the rebar exit his body. You stepped down and helped him shimmy out of the truck. He nearly collapsed when he landed on his feet, but you were quick to sling an arm over your shoulder and encourage him to lean against you.

More cops had arrived, but you couldn't hear them over the sound of the android wheezing in your ear and your own heartbeat thundering in your head. Together, awkwardly, you managed to shuffle him away from the wreckage and carefully set him on the ground, helping him lay on his back.

Tools - you needed tools - shit -

"Don't move," you gently commanded him, scrambling to your feet and running to your car. It wasn't going to be pretty, but a soldering kit and some cheap android flesh would have to do.

"I don't have the good stuff - can only do a temporary patch job for now," you explained, pulling out the solder. He didn't seem at all perturbed by it. "I need to move your clothes," you explained, in a tone that was asking. He nodded and helped you pushed his shirt up to expose the wound.

It was a quick charge kit and was hot in a matter of seconds. One hand held the solder while the other held the molten plastic. Thankfully, you had done this enough times to know how not to burn your hands.

It looked bad, like caulking in drywall, but it stopped the bleeding and covered his wiring. With your hands occupied, you had to urge him yourself. "Roll over, please."

He obeyed enough for you to do an equally terrible job on the opposite wound. Once done, you dropped your equipment and used your hands to urge the android onto his back once more.

"Don't exert yourself," you instructed. He felt like a burning hot furnace, and it was making you sweat, even in this weather. He needed more thirium, now.

You saw panic dance behind his eyes and he tried to lift up. "No - no - no," you stammered, trying to push him back down. "I know you're overheating and that's scary, but please - please stay still. Put yourself in power saving mode and I'll get you more thirium."

The look in his eyes was quite familiar: distrust. "I don't have to listen t-"

"You're right. You don't. This isn't for me. This is for you," you said, panic, scolding, and determination heavy on your tongue. "I ran in there and I pulled you out of that damn truck and I promised to save you, but I can't if you don't-"

You trailed off as the android started to lean back. Understanding. That was one of your favorite looks.

"Thank you," you breathed as he settled back on the ground.

"P-please don't leave me here," he begged, hand reaching up to grab desperately at your wrist. Power-saving mode, on the ground, in the middle of the street, surrounded by unfamiliar faces. You didn't blame him in the slightest.

"I'm gonna help you walk out of here. I promise," you replied, gently removing his hand from your wrist. He nodded and leaned back until he was flat on the ground.

You saw his LED flicker from a strong red to yellow before dulling to nothing as he slowly powered down. When he was still enough, you pushed off of him and staggered to your feet.

Thirium - of course you didn't have thirium in your car. That stuff wasn't exactly easy to come by these days, and you couldn't afford to keep a stash of that lying around.

- the truck.

You eyed the vehicle. It was angled in a way that left the back exposed and potentially subject to gunfire. Undoubtedly, there was still lingering concerns over what kind of arsenal the assailants had.

The police had been too occupied to secure the perimeter; but, more cops had come pouring in and were working to get civilians out of the way.

You had thought that you heard your name, but didn't acknowledge it until you heard it again, louder. You spun around and saw Connor approaching, his police jacket flapping at his sides and his tie out of line.

"What are you doing here?" he asked as he came to a halt in front of you. He eyed your thirium soaked clothes, concern heavy in his gaze.

"Holy shit, Connor, slow down," Hank breathlessly called out from behind him, struggling to keep up.

"I need to get thirium off that truck - or he's gonna die," you explained hastily, pointing at the android laying on the asphalt.

"We don't know the full extent of their arsenal," Connor explained. "There's no way-"

"Wasn't asking," you interrupted him, firmly.

You caught sight of Connor's LED flickering briefly to yellow before back to blue. Another cop ran up to the detectives, though his words failed to reach your ears. Connor and Hank turned their attention to him, long enough for you to make a decision.

You skirted around the android and made a beeline for the truck. You could hear Connor call out your name and gravel kick up under his feet as he started a pursuit.

"H-hey! Son of a bitch!" Hank's voice roared, almost drowned out by the gunfire. "Damn fucking kids," he cursed some more. "This damn shootout is going nowhere - HEY-!" Hank disappeared into the line of cops, shouting profanities.

The back of the truck had been blown up, leaving a gaping hole for crates to pour out of it. Many of those crates had thirium bags, which were punctured and leaking a goopy mess all over the floor. Some of them had to still be sealed.

Before you could get close enough, arms wrapped around you. Connor spun you around, torso pressed flat against your back, legs tangled. He rotated you away from the fire, placing himself between you and the ongoing shootout. Your bodies slammed against the side of the truck.

"Fucking - Connor, let me go!" you whaled.

"You're going to get yourself killed," he replied, some edge to his voice that you had not heard before, sharp on his tongue, like a scolding. Was he... angry? Considering all that was going on, it shouldn't have mattered, but breathed against your skull like that, it gave you chills.

Maybe, under different circumstances, you would have processed his closeness a little better.

"Haven't died yet," you hissed back, trying to wiggle out of his grasp.

Almost like a taunt from the universe, another bomb went off. Considering the delay, it must have been an accident, likely intended to go off sooner. It was small, went off on the other side of the truck, but startled a scream out of you. You and Connor slipped to the ground. He wrapped himself around you as the ground shook and debris flew.

Chassis to torso, almost completely enveloped in him. You tried to brush him off to focus on the task at hand.

"Get back to the street," he breathed into your hair.

"Not yet!" you shouted back at him.

In the corner of your eye, you could see the crate holding thirium bags. The explosion had actually helped jostle it closer, or perhaps your tumble to the floor brought you closer.

You wiggled out of his grasp as best you could, just enough to shimmy over and yank one of the crates free. It clattered about, spilling thirium everywhere. You dragged your hands through the mess until you found a bag unpunctured.

You clutched it like a newborn child as Connor dragged you to your feet. He didn't have to tell you to run before you already started, back to the street, back to your patient, who was still in power saving mode, right where you left him.

Connor came up right behind you. There was some criticism hot on his tongue, but it died on his lips when he saw you fall to the ground.

You practically skidded to your knees as you dropped beside the damaged android. Connor could see that you were injured, not severely enough to cause any long term damage; but, it had gone completely unnoticed by you. You were completely focused on this android - someone you didn't know, someone you saw as so much of a person that they deserved the risk of your own life at the potential of being saved.

Connor didn't have need for this function, but he swallowed dryly. It was boiling over again: that admiration. He felt something else tug at his consciousness, a startling need to protect you.

You weren't asked to come here or drag yourself along the floor for this android. You shouldn't have even been here in the first place. You chose this.

He remembered what he was choosing to do and disappeared into the line of fire.

You reached for your bag, where you had left it on the ground beside the android, and only then noticed that your hand was cut up, bruised and bleeding. No matter. It could wait.

You emptied the contents uncaringly, seeking out the external thirium pump. It was just a tube and balancer, with the right connector, but it was necessary.

This android's model was new enough that he had the quick release hatch behind his ear. You sought it out, one arm cradling the android upright while the other opened the hatch on his upper back. You slid the pump past the protective layers and into the emergency valve, careful to secure it properly. Once you felt the reassuring snap, your trembling hand worked at the other end.

You carefully removed the blue blood bag's protective seal, struggling to twist it off with just one hand. Once the pump was connected to the thirium bag, you grasped it and gave a gentle squeeze, and it began to spurt through the tube and into the android's core.

"I need you to wake up now," you uttered, using a free, very dirty hand, to shake the android's shoulder. The verbal queue was more useful than the shaking, but you did it anyway.

He hummed to life immediately.

"Wha-"

"Please don't move too much. I'm transferring thirium," you explained hastily. The android's eyes landed on your eyes. You could see his eyes go distant as he performed a quick diagnostic check. It must have verified your claims for he visibly relaxed when he was done.

His hand slid over your hand that was holding his shoulder for balance.

"T-thank you," he uttered, embarrassed, ashamed maybe.

"You're welcome," you panted, trembling a little as the adrenaline rush finally caught up with you. "We're almost done," you told the android. "You're not overheating anymore?"

"No," he agreed, taking a stuttering breath.

In the time that you cared for this android, the world almost seemed unmoving. You weren't sure how many minutes had dragged on until the shooting subsided. Suddenly, all the cops starting cheering and you looked over with curiosity.

Connor emerged from the debris, dust covering his shoulders and the top of his head. He had one of the suspects in handcuffs, being dragged by the elbow. The man was resisting rather aggressively, but Connor hardly seemed perturbed by it. Members of swat were hot on his tail, other suspects in their custody.

It was over...

"Hey," you uttered to the android as you finished the transfusion. You carefully removed the pump, shifted his protective sheath back in proper place and snapped the back-access panel closed.

"They're gonna wanna talk to you - get your side of this whole thing. You're not in trouble. You're an eyewitness here."

His glance seemed uncertain, but then he nodded. "I-I understand." He looked over to the crowd of cops, watched as they rounded up the suspects.

"That - that cop is an android?" he asked, turning back to you questioningly, a glimmer in his eyes and excitement in his voice.

Your gaze landed on Connor again. Hank was giving him what appeared to be a congratulatory punch to the chest. Surrounding cops were smacking him on the back with huge smiles on their faces. Connor was trying to wear a humble look, but something proud was cracking at the seams of his smile. The corners of his eyes wrinkled when he smiled.

"Yes... he is..."

...

...

...

You watched from the sidelines as Hank and another cop took the android's statement. Considering what had happened today, what had been going on for months, you were afraid of the potential hostility. From what you could tell, thankfully, he had managed to stay rather calm.

"You are very reckless," Connor commented as he approached. When you looked at him, you could see some twinkle in his eyes. It was subtle, easy to miss on an otherwise calm demeanor.

He had attempted to dust the debris off at one point, but a thin layer still coated his shoulders and some sprinkles remained in his hair.

"Tch." You rolled your eyes fondly and shimmied over on the bench, giving him room to take a seat beside you.

"I heard you pulled that android out of the truck," he added on as he took a seat.

You were avoiding looking at him, mainly to avoid the emotions brewing inside you.

For a moment, Connor was silent. Gears were turning in his head as he tried to think of what to say to you. Part of him wanted to be outright honest about what he was feeling; but, it felt like an invisible wall was stopping him. Then, a different approach came to mind.

Connor relaxed his seated position, shoulders slumped, forearms on his lap, hands together as if he was pondering.

"Police interference..." he hummed. "Trespassing on a crime scene..."

Wait - what was he - ?

You whipped your head around to face the android, mouth agape in disbelief. Connor seemed pleased with himself, letting the faintest smirk grace his lips.

"You little shit-"

"Disrespecting an officer of the law-"

"That isn't a crime," you laughed. His grin was lopsided, but looked pretty good on him. His LED was illuminated a magnificent shade of blue.

"Reckless endangerment-"

"What?"

"-of yourself."

"Psh - Connor-..."

Your laugher died down and Connor's expression softened. He adjusted his tie. You watched him finick with the fabric for a second. It was hardly disturbed to begin with, maybe an inch lower from the apex of his collar. What a strange quirk, but you caught yourself thinking about how adorable it was.

"Are you injured?" the android suddenly asked.

"Uhm-" you stammered. You followed Connor's eyes to your hands. They were cut up and bruised. "I'll just walk it off."

"I don't believe walking will remedy-... Oh." You watched his LED flicker to yellow for a moment before back to blue.

You giggled.

"They said they don't need a statement from you. I could drive you home if you're feeling too anxious," Connor offered.

"I'll be fine. Just-... need a minute."

You hadn't realized until it left your lips that it might have sounded like you wanted to be alone. You didn't, and Connor didn't take it that way. He remained on the bench until another detective ushered him over.

"I'm afraid my paperwork for the day has tripled," Connor commented lowly. When you looked over to him, you could see his eyes flickering back and forth, distant. Checking his emails, most likely.

Connor stood up and began to walk away, but paused.

"E-earlier," he began, turning to face you. "I'm sorry for the rude way I-... Lieutenant Anderson called it 'manhandling'."

You couldn't resist letting an unlady-like laugh through your nose. Unconsciously, your dominant hand lifted to cover your face for a second, embarrassed at the sound you made.

"I forgive you," you replied, softly. "You were trying to protect me."

Connor smiled, something soft and innocent, that made you feel weak. "I hope I can see you again soon, with circumstances where neither of us are in danger."

"That would be a nice change of pace," you replied.

A rough looking detective with thick five o'clock shadow approached Connor hastily. He must have heard him coming, for he turned around before the detective could sneak up on him. You didn't miss the sour look the two men exchanged.

"Hurry up, robocop," he sneered, smacking the android on the back. "They want statements."

Connor shot you one last glance over his shoulder before returning to the hoard of officers. You watched him disappearance, confidence in his stride.

...

...

...

The precinct was on fire when they returned. Not literally, of course. But in the metaphorical sense, which humans seemed to enjoy using a lot.

Almost everyone had a report to write. If someone didn't, then they were complaining about how they were busy giving out speeding tickets and missed all the action. Even a big drug bust on the bad side of town was overshadowed by the bombing. People were running back and forth, asking the boss if they had an official report to hand over to the 'parasite' reporters yet.

Connor was perched at his desk, across from Hank. While Hank was typing away at his keyboard, Connor was using the application inside his mind to write his report.

In the past, he did so with his eyes open, sitting upright normally, staring at the back of Hank's monitor without concern. That stopped when Hank told him it was creeping him out. With some consideration, Connor could see how the staring could be unsettling.

So, while he wrote his report, he decided to close his eyes and balance his elbow on his desk, hand cupped against the side of his neck, holding his head up. It looked like he was taking a nap, honestly. But, everyone had gotten adjusted to it and knew what he was doing.

"Hey guys we got a burglary," one of the female officers called out as she passed their desks. Hank looked up from his monitor, eyebrows pinched in confusion as to why she felt like sharing that with homicide detectives.

She caught his expression and scoffed. "Pretty sure she was the nurse on site during the bombing," the cop added on. "Ya'll seemed rather close..."

Connor immediately propped up, so fast that it startled a flinch out of the cop. "Is she hurt?" he asked, some edge to his usually stoic tone. Hank was eyeing him, brows lifted, the edge of his lip threatening to curl into a smirk.

"No. Perps were long gone by the time she showed," the officer explained.

Connor settled back in his seat, looking relieved and... a little embarrassed?

Amused, Hank let out a gravely chuckle. "Go on, detective," he said, rolling the word 'detective' as if it was a fancy title or a praise. It was teasing, but not demeaning. Connor eyed him curiously.

"You have internet in your damn head - probably finished the report by now. Get outta here," Hank elaborated, some fondness to his tone.

The android's LED blinked yellow for barely a second before turning blue again, as he realized what Hank was implying. Of course, the older detective noticed the processing and he frowned at the sight.

As Connor stood up and pushed his chair back in, Hank added, "Connor, you know you're allowed to want things, right?"

Connor's lips parted even though he had no idea how to respond to that. Some options popped up in his mind, but none felt quite right. Or, was he embarrassed that his admiration was that transparent?

"-or someone?" Hank added on, his tone turning suggestive.

Connor looked away and straightened his tie.

"Goodnight detective," he said as he stepped past Hank's desk.

Hank waved him off with a grunt, "friggin' kids..."

...

...

...

Of fucking course.

You knew you had been robbed the second you pulled into the driveway. They had tried to pull the back door off its hinges. When that was seemingly too difficult, they gave up and just broke a window instead. Of course, not the little kitchen window in the back. No no that would be too convenient. The large living room window was their choice of entrance.

You had never smoked a cigarette once in your life but it sounded pretty fucking good right now.

You had already given your statement to the police, informed your insurance policy, and was scrubbing your hands in the kitchen sink when you heard a car pull up. It was pretty hard to miss with the gaping hole in the front.

You walked out of the kitchen, drying your hands with a towel, wondering if they had come back. The place looked like it had been hit by a tornado. Not much was left to be taken.

Your guest had exited their car and walked around to the front to look at the window. His long legs were illuminated by the porch light. When he leaned down to examine the window seal, you smiled at the familiar face.

"How do you like my home renovations?"

Either the joke went over his head, or he was too focused to listen to you properly. The LED on his temple turned yellow and he settled a glare on something.

Connor kneeled down further, balancing himself rather well in what was normally an uncomfortable crouching position. He fished some tweezers and a small plastic bag out of his jacket.

His detective jacket - as in, he had just left work. You felt a tinge of guilt when you realized.

"Connor, it's fine. Some cops already took a look around. Besides, I'm pretty sure this is way beneath you."

The android's eyes flicked up at you for a second. "What do you mean?"

"This isn't a homicide, detective," you replied softly.

You watched Connor use the tweezers to carefully pull something tiny off the edge of your window seal. He held it up for a moment to get a better look. You watch, mesmerized as the lens in his eyes shifted, focusing in on whatever he was grasping. His irises shifted like camera lenses for a few seconds before returning to normal.

"The cops missed this," Connor said brightly. "Blood. One of the perpetrators must have cut themselves on the way in."

He deposited the sample, what you figured was a tiny piece of glass, into the baggy.

"Nobody takes evidence on home robberies," you commented dryly. "It's okay, really. You don't have to waste your time..."

Connor stood up straight, the plastic bag held carefully in his grasp. "I'm not," he replied sweetly.

You bit your lip, trying to ignore the way your heart fluttered.

He retrieved paper evidence bags from his car to deposit the plastic bags and continued trailing your house, ignoring your weak protests. He took photos of foot prints in the backyard - with what camera, you had asked, well, his eyes of course - of fucking course.

He even found a hair sample.

"How do you know it's not mine?" you asked teasingly. From where you were standing, it looked like a normal piece of hair, no different from yours.

"Not your color hair." It looked just like yours, though. Android eyes, right.

"Unless you had company recently?" You didn't miss the way he asked it, like he was scared to ask, or didn't want the answer. Or, maybe, you had just imagined it.

"Heh. I wish," you replied, hoping the joke would take the edge of. Connor stared at you just a little longer than necessary, LED flashing red for a split second before going back to yellow.

He seemed satisfied with the investigation not long after that.

You were leaning against the beam of your front porch while Connor labeled and dated the evidence bags and deposited them into a filing case in his trunk. When he was done, he closed the trunk and turned back to you.

You looked completely normal right then, glowing in your porch light, tired eyes and messy hair. But, you were leaning against one of the support beams, watching him with an expression he recognized as gratitude.

Connor adjusted his tie, pushing it back up into the apex of his collar.

"I don't intend to let them get away with this," he said, serious, almost even threatening.

"Thanks, Connor, but don't stress yourself out about it," you replied, removing yourself from the beam.

"All processes are running at standard levels," Connor replied simply.

He looked prepared to correct himself just after it slipped out, but you were smiling, the kind of smile that suggested you didn't mind.

"I better get to bed. I took tomorrow off to... deal with this." You motioned at the broken window with your hand.

Connor narrowed his eyes slightly, looking between you and the gaping window.

"It's not safe for you to stay here tonight." He stepped a little closer, his voice soft but authorative. "The crime rate in this neighborhood is higher than the national average. You risk another break in, and I fear it could be much worse if you were home."

He sounded sincerely worried, though you told yourself he was just being polite. He was right, of course, and it was a scary thought, but you didn't have a choice. Android repair engineers didn't make as much money as human nurses.

"I mean - you're right, but, I can't afford a hotel, Connor," you replied.

You could see his adam's apple bob with an unnecessary swallow. He was full of all these curious quirks. Was he programmed with these habits? Or had he developed them after spending time with humans?

"Then... stay with at my apartment?" he suggested, almost shyly. "Until everything is repaired."

Oh... You hadn't expected that.

"I can't impose on you like that," you uttered. "You've done so much for me already."

"It's not imposing at all," Connor replied, eagerness starting to pick up in his tone. "I don't think of you as a stranger. I see you as a friend. I want to help you."

You smiled. "Connor-"

"Please," he added on hastily. "I would feel better knowing you're safe. If it makes you uncomfortable, I'll buy you a hotel room instead."

"My financial problems aren't yours," you replied, crossing your arms not unlike a defiant child.

Connor was smiling nervously, and you couldn't help but return that same smile.

"Then, you stay at my place and I'll stay at a hotel."

You shook your head. "That's not a solution!" you scolded, catching yourself chuckling. "-kicking you out of your own home."

"You're not when I'm offering. If you're worried, I won't stay. There's always work to be done at the precinct and I don't require as much charging time as hum-"

"I'm not worried, Connor," you interrupted him, sounding sad at the suggestion. He had a sort of determined, eager look in his eyes and an innocent smile. He probably could have gone on and on, arguing with you about this for hours until you reached a conclusion that no one was happy with.

Before he could go on, and on, and on, and on... you surrendered. "Okay - okay - you win. Just let me... grab a few things?"

He smiled toothily and let out a wispy laugh, so softly and beautifully that it actually hurt a little. In the glow of your porch light, you could count the freckles on his face. A couple on his forehead... At least four on his right cheek. At least three on his left cheek. One on the bridge of his nose. One near his lip. Two on his chin.

Thirteen... and then you lost count... You'd have to try again later.

"Friggin' cops and their interrogation tactics," you grumbled, delivering a weak, affectionate punch to his shoulder before turning away and retreating into your house.

Connor felt a strange sort of high - giddy, was the word. He leaned against the passenger side door of his car. As he waited, he remembered that he didn't regulate the air temperature in his apartment to save money on his electric bill, seeing as he didn't mind the cold.

That meant...

...the apartment was going to be freezing.

"...shit."

[arhvste]

KUROO TETSURO - 3:37AM

summary - you and kuroo play hide and seek in the early hours of morning after the hot nights of mid august prevent you both from falling asleep - fluff

this was actually a prompt written by @emma_ichihara on tiktok that i absolutely needed to write about after i saw it so thank u for that queen <3

warnings - none

-

The heat in your bedroom was unbearable. Then again, you couldn’t say you didn’t expect it to be as mid august is always going to be a pain to sleep through.

You tossed about in your sheets flailing your arms and legs about trying to get some sort of breeze across your limbs only to flop down in frustration. Grabbing your phone from the side of your bed you checked the time. 2:27AM.

Your eyes squinted at the brightness of the screen and you put your phone back down only to hear it vibrate on the surface as soon as you let go of the device. Assuming it was going to be a random notification from one of your apps you almost decided to ignore it but something told you to check regardless.

Your eyes once again squinting as they adjusted to the luminous light emitting from your phone contrasting against the darkness of your room. Your heart fluttered as you read through the notification.

2:28AM - tetsoup : i know ur up right now

You unlocked your phone as you typed out your reply. A conversation flowing between the two of you.

2:28AM - thot chan : okay u got me sue me for not being able to handle the heat

2:29AM - tetsoup : would’ve thought after being around me so much you’d be able to handle the hot ;)

2:29AM - thot chan : ur a chemistry nerd u aren't hot

2:29AM - tetsoup : fail ur next chemistry exam for all i care dont ask me for help :(

2:30AM - thot chan : you wound me captain

2:30AM - thot chan : and what are u doing up right now?

2:31AM - tetsoup : same as u genius, this heat is making my body perspire more than what i’d like

2:31AM - thot chan : lmao that means u finna be smelly. go take a cold shower u farm animal

2:31AM - tetsoup : at 2am? i don't think so u imbecile, i have a better solution though

2:32AM - thot chan : and that is?

You stared at your phone expecting a reply quickly but after 5 minutes it never came.

‘Idiot must’ve fallen asleep’

You hummed as you set your phone back down and allowed your head to hit back against the soft pillows on your bed. The heat was still bothering you so it didn’t look like you were going to be getting much sleep, regardless you still tried by closing your eyes and trying to force your brain into drifting off into a peaceful slumber.

Not even 4 minutes into your attempt at forced sleep you heard your phone vibrate softly against the wood of your bedside table. Snatching it up towards your face you stared at the notification in disbelief.

2:43AM - tetsoup : im outside ur house hurry up the bugs are eating me alive

This boy.

Swinging your legs off the hurricane of sheets, pillows and your comforter, you dragged yourself over to the window to peek through your blinds. There stood your tall boyfriend with a big hoodie and sweatpants on, signature bedhead with his hands in his pockets patiently waiting for your arrival.

You smiled slightly. He really had your whole heart and you couldn’t deny that even if you tried.

Grabbing one of his hoodies you had ‘borrowed’ you threw on your shoes and quietly made your way to the front door carefully not wanting to disturb your parents and have them question your activities.

“Finally, my body was about to start decomposing from all the bugs attacking me from just standing here.”

“Sounds like a you problem.”

Kuroo pulled your smaller frame into his significantly larger one as you inhaled the scent of his hoodie. He buried his head into the crook of your neck as he gave it a soft kiss before looking back down at you.

“Come on let's go.”

You hummed in curiosity but allowed the boy to take your smaller hand into his larger calloused one and lead the way to the unknown destination.

It wasn’t rare for you and Kuroo to meet up during the night. Sure you spent a lot of time together most days but there was something about being the only ones out in such public places that made you both feel as if you were the only ones in the world. This feeling never got old to the pair of you as everytime the two of you met up in the earliest hours of morning you would find yourselves falling in love all over again with each other. These hours were the ones you held close to your evergrowing heart.

After 5 minutes of walking through the peaceful streets in your neighbourhood, Kuroo led you to the playground the two of you and Kenma would find yourselves occupied most days after school back when you were all younger. The place was such a public and overlooked one, but you all still cherished the memories created there and would sometimes find yourselves reminiscing on those times whenever you’d come back.

You let go of your boyfriend’s hand as you climbed onto the climbing structure which years ago would’ve proven to be more of a challenge for you to reach the top too. The platform a lot smaller than it used to be, you grabbed the railing and allowed a gentle breeze to run through the locks of your hair.

Kuroo looked up at you, adoration twinkling in his eyes. To him you were everything. He had known you ever since he first moved into the neighbourhood with his dad and grandparents. He used to find talking to others a struggle and found Kenma particularly hard to communicate with. You however, took the opportunity to get both boys to open up more to each other right by the reigns and within your first 6 months of being acquainted with each other, you had managed to get both boys comfortable enough to call you and each other a friend in confidence. For that, Kuroo was eternally grateful and even more so when you accepted his romantic feelings towards you 3 years ago.

“Let’s play hide and seek, you know, like we used to.”

You turned smiling to the beheaded captain. He gave you his signature smirk and turned around.

“You’ve got 30 seconds, be prepared to lose immediately.”

You laughed as he began to count up to 30, crouching behind a slide that you thought covered yourself from his view. It actually took Kuroo 54 seconds to find you and you turned the childish game into a small competition between the two of you, tallying up who could find the other the fastest each time.

It got to your 13th round and this time you were hiding inside the slide. Kuroo had yet to find you and it had been 8 minutes already. This confused you slightly as the usually perceptive boy would’ve found you by now. You climbed out of the slide and onto the platform as you glanced around your surroundings seeing no signs of him.

You raised your eyebrow as you knew the boy surely must be messing with you. He would never actually abandon you especially without letting you know.

Cupping your hands to both sides of your mouth you let yourself lean towards the railing of the climbing structure.

“Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo!”

You called out while continuing to scan the area in your view.

What you weren’t expecting was for strong arms to find their way around your waist as you felt someone's hot breath against the skin on your neck.

“I’m right here, my beautiful Juliet.”

You gasped as Kuroo kissed your neck before spinning you around to look at you directly. One of his hands supporting your back and the other moving a piece of loose hair away from your face, he stared into your eyes which twinkled under the stars. You smiled widely at him as he admired your gorgeous face.

He allowed his hand to trail down your neck until he moved his fingers to weave through your hair delicately. Moving his head down, he softly kissed your lips as you melted into his touch. Your hands moved to his broad shoulders as he deepened the kiss making you sigh in satisfaction. You hummed as he drew small circles on your back with his long fingers let your own hands move towards his untamable hair and rake through it resulting in a hum of approval from him.

You both pulled away as you studied each other's expressions. In that moment Kuroo had fallen for you even deeper if that was possible. Every fibre in his being adored you and it took so much self control to not just tackle you off the structure and cuddle you forever. You were his soulmate he was sure of that. The idea of love had never crossed Kuroo’s mind until middle school when you had both grown up a little bit more. He was focused on volleyball and keeping up his grades but you were always at the back of his mind driving him crazy to the point where he felt he had no other choice than to explore these foreign feelings for you. He would argue that by confessing to you, he had made the best decision in his life. You brought nothing but pure light into his life he was convinced you were some sort of guardian angel. You couldn’t be real. You were a living goddess and there were times when he’d feel like you were too good to be true.

The feelings were mutual on your side too. Kuroo Tetsuro had been a challenge for you to get to open up but when he did he didnt hold back on subconsciously taking your heart and occupying your thoughts on the daily. The two of you held such a deep and indescribable love for each other sometimes you felt like it was too hard to contain.

Brought back to reality by your hand caressing his cheek Kuroo turned to you and smiled so genuinely.

“Y/N, I am so so in love with you.”

“I know Tetsu. I love you too. So much.”

You pecked his cheek as he guided you off the climbing structure and onto the soft grass surrounding the playground.

You both laid there in a comfortable silence as you allowed the sounds of distant cars passing through the busy city of tokyo, and the soft sounds of crickets chirping as you cuddled up to Kuroo’s chest.

He wrapped his muscular arms around you and pulled you close to him whispering “I love you” over and over again quietly enough for only you to hear.

The early morning had reached 3AM and you both knew you’d have to make your way back to your homes soon but right now nothing else mattered.

The only thing on your minds was the fact you were both stupidly in love with each other and you would continue to allow yourselves to fall in love over and over again as you stared at the stars whispering small professions of love to one another for the remaining time you spent outside.

Kuroo Tetsuro, a perceptive boy who hadn’t considered love until you came into his life, had never felt such raw emotion in his life and it was these early hour moments which he would hold close to his heart for the rest of his life which he had planned to go through with you by his side.

[baepop]

PRIVATE // 7

You have two bombs dropped on you in one day.

Word Count: 5.1k

Pairing: Jungkook x You x Jennie

Genre: Angst, Fluff

A/N: Sorry I took so long to get this out! More to come!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12

You frowned at the view in front of you. Taking your index finger, you gently adjusted the frame, but it continued to mock you as it tilted back into its crooked position every time. You sighed and put your hands on your hips. You had been at this for a solid half hour without feeling satisfied, so when an incoming phone call came through, it was a very welcome distraction. Seeing the name on your screen, you smiled as you picked it up and held it to your ear.

“Congratulations…” You heard his soft chuckle on the other end which had you mimicking it with your own.

“Same to you…I didn’t see you at the ceremony, but I figured it was like you to blow it off.”

“You know me well, I guess. Did you get yours in the mail?”

“Yeah I’m actually holding it right now. It feels so surreal. I can’t believe it’s been 4 years already…’

You smiled down towards your feet as you began pacing back and forth in your small living room, reminiscing on your scholastic career by Yoongi’s side. “Yeah it’s crazy…”

There was an awkward pause that thankfully didn’t last too long, seeing as both of you wanted to hear from the other for a while now.

The boy cleared his throat before speaking again, “So I was wondering, if you might want to grab some breakfast or something. It’s the least you could do to pay homage to your college career.”

You rolled your eyes but readily agreed to meet at a diner downtown despite having work later on. Many of your other classmates had moved home right after graduation, so the shuttle ride into town was desolate. You put your headphones on and turned your lo-fi playlist all the way up as you stared out of the window. Summer was in full swing and yet you still found yourself indoors all of the time and not doing the things you liked doing when it got hot like going on a hike or riding your bike to the park. Since taking your last final, all your life consisted of was going to work at the suit shop and binging Netflix originals. You refused to think about why that was.

As you entered the semi-empty establishment, you realized you were the first to arrive, so you secured a booth for your rendezvous and ordered some orange juice. You were mid gulp when you heard the chime of the door ring. Yoongi spotted you by the windows and walked briskly towards you with a big gummy smile on his face. You couldn’t help cheesing back at him. You hadn’t realized how much you missed your friend.

“Man, I’m starving.” He began perusing the menu after sitting down as you did the same. Your stomach rumbled loudly before you got the chance to agree, making you both laugh.

Once the waitress left with your menus and your orders, you looked towards Yoongi who was giving you that look you were afraid he might give you once the pleasantries were over. You didn’t want to talk about them.

“So…”

“Let me stop you right there.”

Yoongi smiled, “So we’re just going to pretend—”

“YEP.” You took another sip of your juice, and then another as Yoongi struggled to hold back snickering. He focused on his fingernails instead but found it nearly impossible to concede to your only request.

“So, there’s a date—”

“YOONGI!” The boy laughed, looking to your eyes to see how serious you were.

“I’m sorry but, are you really sure you don’t want to know anything? Like, not a single thing? I have juicy details you know…”

It was unlike Yoongi to gossip, so his attempt at lightening the serious subject had you cracking a smile despite getting riled up at the mere mention of them. You looked up at him wiggling his eyebrows and bit back a laugh. Instead, you rolled your eyes and sighed dramatically, lacing your fingers atop the table.

“What juicy details could you possibly have?”

“Well,” Yoongi took a sip of his water for dramatic effect, “Jungkook’s family may or may not have found out that he has a girlfriend.” Your eyes snapped up towards the blonde, the shock clearly readable on your face.

“And,” Yoongi took another sip of his water, “they may or may not know that his girlfriend was the weird girl at the proposal dinner.”

You gasped aloud, “Shut the fuck up!”

“Oh, I will not! You really caused a shit show Y/N.” Yoongi shook his head, clearly finding all of this hilarious but you couldn’t find the humor in it one bit. Just then, your pancakes arrived but they were the last thing on your mind. Yoongi forked his five-stack as you bombarded him with questions.

“How did they find out!?”

He spoke with cheeks full of syrupy starch, “Jungoo tol them,” he swallowed before forking another piece of pancake, “he tried to call off the wedding after that, but you can imagine how that went.”

You sliced your pancakes into tiny pieces as you took in the information. Jungkook tried to call off the wedding? You hated how happy it made you to hear that.

“I’m assuming you haven’t heard from Jennie?”

You looked up at him and put your utensils down. “Not since the dinner. Maybe this wedding isn’t weighing as heavy on her as she’s making it out to be. She probably loves him now.” You stabbed your breakfast aggressively.

Yoongi snorted, “My ass. We all hung out two weeks ago and they almost killed each other playing Monopoly.”

You began to wonder what they might be up to these days with everything going on. The morning after the engagement event, you woke up alone. You hadn’t seen or heard from either of them since then, which was truthfully what you needed in order to sort your convoluted thoughts and figure out how you really felt. After checking your watch, you cursed aloud and pulled some cash out of your wallet.

“I lost track of time! I gotta get to work but when can I see you again?”

Yoongi dumped the rest of your food onto his plate. “Well, I still have my apartment for another week, I was thinking of throwing one last rager tonight before I gotta hand the keys in. You should come.” You nodded thoughtfully, contemplating the idea of possibly running into the love birds tonight. “I doubt they’ll show up honestly, they’re super busy these days.” As always, Yoongi knew exactly what was on your mind.

“Fine, fine. I’ll be there.”

“That’s my girl!” Yoongi spoked with a mouth full of food which had you giggling all the way out of the door.

You sped walked seven blocks before reaching the entrance of your job. You were a few minutes late which was already stressing you out since your boss was not easygoing about punctuality.

“Y/N! You’re late!” Raphael regarded you in a disapproving stare as his bifocals slipped down the bridge of his nose. You hurried to remove your bag and put on a blazer.

“I know! I’m sorry, I lost track of time.”

“You have a client waiting. They’ve been here for a few minutes already, so be apologetic when you greet them, okay? They asked specifically for you, by the way.” Your eyebrows furrowed. You didn’t have any appointments set for today with any of your regulars. As you peered past the curtains that led to the fitting area, you recognized a tall lanky woman to be Jungkook’s mother and surely enough, her son sat perched on the bench near the mirrors. You gulped as they both made eye contact with you. His mother crossed her arms as you let yourself into the back area, your eyes unable to leave Jungkook’s starry-eyed stare.

“Well it’s about time you show up.” Your scalp prickled with embarrassment at her tone.

“Mom—” Jungkook tried to admonish his mother but you quickly cut in.

“I’m so sorry to keep you waiting! What can I help you with today?”

The woman eyed you before gesturing towards Jungkook. “We’re here to get him fitted for a tux. Since you did so well with his last suit, we figured you were just the person for the job. It’s for the wedding, of course.” You nodded solemnly, peering briefly at Jungkook who looked uncomfortable. You noticed he was wearing the suit in question, and he looked amazing in it.

“O-Of course, what kind of suiting were you thinking? We have morning dress fits, tailcoats and classic three-piece suits.”

“Show me your best three-piece suit in black.” You immediately got to work getting all of the components in Jungkook’s sizes together as she watched you like a hawk. You couldn’t believe this was happening, but you didn’t have time to register it all, not if you were going to get them out of the shop as quickly as possible.

As you busied yourself hanging the pieces on various hangers, you heard Jungkook speak softly to his mother who refused to take her eyes off of you.

“Mom, can you give us a minute? Please?” She sighed heavily and gave him a pointed look but let herself out of the dressing area, nonetheless. Once she was out of sight, you both let out the breaths you had been holding in.

Your fingers trembled over the hangers as a heavy silence lingered with her departure. “Jeeze, she’s kind of intense, isn’t she?” Your lighthearted remark died out in volume as Jungkook placed his hand over yours. You jumped at the contact, not having noticed him moving closer to you. You looked up at him, unsure of what his intensions were. “Jungkook…”

“I’m…sorry about her. But you don’t have to do this. It’s so fucked up. Just say the word and we’ll go.” You focused on your task at hand with a hard line pressed into your mouth.

“If you knew it was fucked up, then why did you agree to come?”

“Because I’ve been dying to see you, and this seemed the only way that could happen. They haven’t let me out of their sight since I told them you were my girlfriend.” Jungkook chuckled bitterly, leaning on the wall and looking up at the ceiling. “I guess I’m selfish that way.”

You looked at him before looking back down at the suit pieces that were all ready for him to try on. “Take your clothes off, Jeon.”

He slowly removed his jacket then began unbuttoning his shirt. When you didn’t offer anything more, he continued on, “Do you at least miss me the way I miss you? I’m in hell over here.” His voice slightly broke towards the end of his sentence.

You avoided his gaze as you passed him a crisp white dress shirt to put on. “No. I broke up with you, remember?”

“C’mon Y/N, we both know you didn’t mean that.”

You chuckled bitterly. “Wanna bet?”

“Yeah, actually. I’m willing to bet on it.” Jungkook stepped up to you but you refused to crack under his intimidation. He was now close enough for you to smell that cologne you loved so much. You gulped as your eyes traveled upwards. “You feel the same way I do, I know you do. And I know you’re going just as crazy over this whole ordeal as I am.”

You cleared your throat and backed up a few inches, taking a clearing breath as you handed him a pair of trousers. He sighed and took them, stepping onto the platform. His eyes quickly found yours in the mirror. “You can act tough like you always do in front of me, but…I know you’re hurting and I’m sorry about all of it. I really am.” You bit the inside of your cheek while he talked, trying to focus on not tearing up. “I just want you to know that I’m hurting too, even if it doesn’t seem like it, and that things don’t have to be this way forever. And I’m not going to stop pursuing you until you forgive me for not telling you first.”

You stepped onto the platform just as Jungkook held his arms up to give you better access to his waist. While cinching the waistband of his pants on each side with a pin, you couldn’t help getting caught off guard by his ending words. “What do you mean by things don’t have to be this way forever?” You helped him into his vest and then the jacket as he fell silent in thought.

When he was all dressed, Jungkook turned towards you, finally responding, “You’ve told me over and over again that you don’t care much for titles and that you prefer things be casual anyway…so why is it such a huge deal that I’m someone’s fiancé? If we can get passed the fact that I fucked up and kept something important like this from you, promising that it won’t happen again, do things between us really have to end?” You scoffed in returned, but ultimately didn’t know what to say. Did he actually have a point here? Since his marriage was clearly only for appearances, and you were absolutely sure Jennie didn’t want him in any way, could you really see past something like this? Would you be a hypocrite if you chose to draw the line here?

You both stood on the platform looking down while inches apart. When you finally looked up, you noticed he was blushing which caught you off guard seeing, how your mind was swarming with unanswerable questions. You stopped breathing the instant he placed his finger on your cheek and softly caressed it. He took a deep breath and held you by the waist with his other hand,  speaking softly while leaning his forehead onto yours, “Y/N… did you honestly think I’d give up on the woman I love because my family is telling me to?”

You opened your mouth but the right words to say escaped you. No one had ever told you they loved you before. You weren’t sure whether to cry or laugh or kiss him. Thankfully, you didn’t have to choose because Jungkook’s mother had back and cleared her throat loudly at the sight of you two embracing. Jungkook let you go so you could turn around to compose yourself.

She looked less than pleased, but nonetheless agreed to take the suit, though you suspected it was only to get him away from you as soon as possible. You hurried to mark down the adjustments that needed to be made to the clothing as Jungkook begrudgingly got redressed. When you were positioned back behind the counter, you barely got to wave goodbye as she stomped out of the door with him hurrying to catch up. He stopped to cast a worried stare past his shoulder at you before disappearing past the windows

Yoongi’s party was in full swing, and you didn’t have to be inside of his house to know that. The second you began walking on his block, the raging music and shouts from drunken party stragglers constantly broke the silence in the empty neighborhood. As you approached his place, you could see a group of people laying on his front lawn having deep conversations about nothing at all.

It was only 10 at night yet there were already enough plastered idiots to potentially have the party shut down early. You smiled and shook your head, wondering how wasted Yoongi must already be to have let his party get this out of hand. After weaving through the crowd of alumni near the door, you let yourself into the house only to be greeted by a ton of drunk people shouting at your arrival. You winced and cheered along with them in confusion before making eye contact with Yoongi who was already beckoning you over to join him and his group of friends.

You noticed how badly he was slurring his words once you got to him. “They’re cheering for every new person that arrives.” He smiled sleepily at you. His cheeks were flushed, and his smile was even gummier than usual. You giggled and nodded in understanding, “Okay, I’m going to need whatever you’re all drinking, stat.”

“It’s the jungle juice! I don’t know what they put in it, but one cup is alllllll you need.” Yoongi hiccupped before continuing. “I’m ssho glad you made it, Y/N. We graduated! We did it!” He shook your shoulders and you couldn’t help but laugh as you tried to remember the last time you witnessed this loose version of your friend.

“Okay, I’m going to go play catchup and then I’ll be back to reminisce on the good ol’ times with you.” You patted his shoulder then set for the kitchen. There were so many people crammed into his living room that the trip to the kitchen took longer than expected. After dancing your way through, you reached the purple tub of liquid everyone was drinking from unscathed and decided to celebrate by helping yourself.

As you sipped from your red solo cup and watched the crowd of people having a good time, you felt a little jealous. You wanted to come out and let loose and feel as stress free as they felt but you were so tightly wound with all the stresses in your life. You didn’t want to think about all of that though, at least for tonight. You wanted to stop worrying and pitying yourself, even for just a moment.

You took a steadying breath, readying yourself to join Yoongi’s friends and put on your best social persona. However, as soon as you made it out of the kitchen entryway, a hand closed around your wrist and pulled you to the side. You hadn’t gotten a chance to see who it was until you made it into the tiny clearing at the corner of the living room safe from the packed crowd. When you looked forward, Jungkook was biting his lip in a smile. Your eyes lit up involuntarily.

“Hey you.”

“Hey.” You smiled into your cup, blushing as you took a tiny sip. You weren’t exactly surprised to see him here, but you were surprised at how happy it made you.

“I didn’t expect to see you here, to be honest.”

“Yoongi’s my friend too, you know.”

“I know, but you’ve been holed up in your apartment lately. Does this mean you’re, maybe, ready to forgive me?” Jungkook adorably poked your cheek and although your expression had been guarded, a smile tugging at your lips gave your true feelings away.

You rolled your eyes, “I wouldn’t hold your breath on that.”

Jungkook didn’t bother feigning sadness, not while your fingers lingered on his hand unwilling to break away from the contact he initiated. Your hands lasted intertwined for a while, both of you swinging your arms back and forth as you surveyed the party that was quickly getting out of hand. When some loud frat boys threatened to knock you over while thrashing around to a song, Jungkook pulled you toward his chest and wrapped his arms around you, shielding you as one of the guys’ drink spilled all over his denim jacket.

Jungkook remained calm, though you could tell by now that the furrow in his eyebrow said otherwise.

“What the hell, asshole?!” You shoved the drunk guy who was none the wiser about what was going on behind him. When he turned around and saw a giant purple stain on the side of Jungkook’s jacket, he immediately apologized and looked at his now empty cup.

“You gonna pay for that!?” You wanted to keep yelling at him but Jungkook stood in between you effectively blocking your view for the time being. He chuckled, watching you get so worked up over him. He found it endearing to say the least.

“Chill, it’s okay. Mistakes happen.”

You sighed and inspected the stain on his arm. “Come on, we gotta wash that out before it stains.” You grabbed his hand and led him to the kitchen where you grabbed the dish detergent then shoved him into the tiny half bathroom tucked away in the back of the house.

Once you closed the door behind you, Jungkook took his jacket off and handed it to you. He sat on the toilet and propped a foot up so he could rest his chin on his knee and watch you scrub the living hell out of his jacket. He smiled when you tsked, the stain proving to be quite stubborn. What the was in that jungle juice!? You ran the sleeve under warm water then rung it out and held it up to inspect it further.

“I meant what I said earlier.” Jungkook watched you steadily, gauging your reaction. He was pleased to witness the blush growing across your face despite you trying hard to keep your cool.

“And so did I when I said I couldn’t do this with you anymore.” This time it was Jungkook’s turn to roll his eyes.

“So you’re telling me that you were okay with not making things official between us, but now that I’m going to be signing some silly license, all of a sudden you’re my scorned ex-girlfriend?”

You scoffed at the purplish liquid draining in the sink. “You know, for someone who finds titles so important, you’re making marriage seem like it’s inconsequential. That’s the real silly thing here.

“This marriage is inconsequential. That’s the whole point, and especially so when it comes to you and me.”

You sighed and turned to him with a frown on your face. “So why are you doing it then, if it doesn’t matter?”

“I told you, because my parents—”

“No, Jungkook, your parents aren’t the ones getting married in a month’s time. YOU are. So why are YOU doing this?” The boy fell silent, unwilling to meet your eyes. You took that as your queue to go, but when you reached for the door, he held it shut.

“Jungkook…” The brunette stood up and leaned against the door.

“Don’t go…please.” His voice was barely above a whisper and his eyes held a sadness in them that you’d never seen from him before. You fought the urge to close the distance in between you and hug him, but when he approached you himself, you didn’t stop yourself from putting your arms around him.

You held each other for a while. His arms tightened around your waist as he buried his nose in your hair. Your heart beat quickened as you closed your eyes to experience every bit of this moment. You hadn’t been able to hold him in what felt like forever, and you never wanted to let go.

Jungkook nuzzled against the side of your face. The warmth you felt in his embrace was comforting, and the allure of his lips only a few centimeters away was ever so tantalizing. All it would take for you to kiss him was to shift your head just a bit, yet you felt paralyzed where you stood. It would be all too easy to disregard everything you knew up until this point and pretend you were both still a couple of students fooling around on campus.

But hadn’t you wanted to let go tonight and let loose? To not worry and think too much as you had been doing for months?

Your breath grew shallow as his lips crept closer to yours. You licked yours absentmindedly as they awaited to feel him. It felt as if an eternity had passed, waiting for him to kiss you, and when he finally had, your cold and lonely world was set ablaze again. He pressed a soft kiss into your mouth, testing the waters. The answering reciprocation took both of your breaths away as you kissed him back ravenously. Your fingers tangled themselves in his locks as they had done dozens of times before.

Jungkook held onto the sink for support as you crashed your body into his. He mirrored the neediness you expressed with each movement, moaning into the kiss when you bit his bottom lip. In one swift motion, Jungkook bent down and picked you up by the thighs, placing you on the bathroom sink then reattaching his lips to yours. He gripped the edge of the surface as your body writhed against his. No matter how much you kissed, you didn’t feel satisfied. His lips were sweet and addictive, but you knew you’d have to kick your craving for him eventually. A tear rolled down your check as you stuck your tongue into his mouth. You carefully wiped it away without bringing attention to it. You were doing what you set out to do tonight in hopes that it was a good thing, but you couldn’t help feeling like you were betraying yourself.

Jungkook began trailing kisses across your cheek and down your neck. You sighed in content, leaning back to give him more access. Just as you began removing your jacket to expose your bare shoulder, loud banging on the door interrupted your moment of passion. Both of your heads turned towards the door where the doorknob began jiggling. Jungkook turned back to you and smiled. “Just like old times, huh?” You giggled breathlessly then hopped down from the sink with his help. Grabbing his damp jacket, you both exited the bathroom hand in hand, not caring about what that might look like to anyone else.

Once you reached the living room again, you spoke into Jungkook’s ear due to the loud music blaring making it difficult to speak out loud. “Let’s find Yoongi, I promised I’d hang out with him.”

Jungkook nodded and hung his jacket to dry in his friend’s room before meeting back up with you. He found you and Yoongi by the beer pong table. The blonde boy had gotten rowdy during his winning streak and challenged you to a game which you quickly agreed to. The next few hours went by in a flash as the three of you hung out casually for the first time ever. You found their banter absolutely hilarious, though you suspected the jungle juice and the beer might have something to do with that. Though you knew you couldn’t pretend like the things that were hurting you never existed, it was a relief to not harp on them even if just for a little while.

Once 1:00 came, you bid farewell to the boys. They protested your departure, but when you insisted on leaving since you had work in the morning, Jungkook refused to stay in favor of walking you home. The crowd of partygoers had now spread up and down the block, but once you cleared a few blocks, the cool silent night had made its return. You both walked hand in hand the entire way, taking your time with slow steps and even stopping a few times while mid conversation.

You had completely forgotten about Jungkook’s summer internship which had already began. He could go on and on about the people he worked with and you enjoyed listening to every bit of it, humming along and giggling every time he did a voice impression.

It was impossibly soon when you both had reached your apartment, despite taking the long way there. It was hard for you both to unlink your fingers and part ways. As you drank in the sight of Jungkook in front of your place, you noticed the way his expression was expectant.

“I guess this is where we say goodbye.” You slipped your hand out of his grasp much to his disappointment.

“Does it have to be?” Jungkook’s doe eyes damn near broke your heart, but even so, you couldn’t break your own heart by allowing him inside. Who knows all the complications that would arise from doing that.

“’Fraid so…”

“But neither of us want it to be.” Jungkook frowned.

“Even so, it’s better this way.” Jungkook sighed in frustration and shoved his hands in his pockets, kicking his foot into the concrete.

“Even if you think so, I’m not giving up,” Jungkook looked up at you one last time, “I meant what I said. I love you, Y/N.” Your breath hitched hearing those words for the second time today. You swallowed and looked away before you could get emotional, unlocking the door to your apartment and disappearing behind it.

As you leaned against the door, you willed your heart to stop pounding in your ears. You peaked out of the window and watched Jungkook walk back up the block with his hands still in his pockets. The high you felt all night was wearing off, and all that was left was sadness and exhaustion.

With a deep sigh, you started stripping on the way to your room. You had left the lights off before leaving, so you stubbed your toe on the corner of your dresser in the darkness. You cussed and hobbled over to the light switch to inspect your throbbing pinky. Upon turning around, you saw a figure rising from your bed and it took everything in you not to scream.

Jennie was groggily rubbing her eyes as she squinted at you through the piercing light flooding her eyes. You stood on the other end of the room, frozen with your foot in your hand.

“Turn the lights off, it’s late.”

“Umm, what the hell are you doing here?”

“You didn’t say I couldn’t sleep her anymore.”

“Yeah but I never said you could either.” You limped over to the bed and crossed your arms. The girl sighed and looked up at you once her eyes adjusted to the light.

“I broke off the engagement.” You gaped at her, dropping your arms to your sides in disbelief.

“You what?! When?!”

“A couple hours ago. I just, I couldn’t do it anymore. My parents threatened to cut me off but…I don’t care. I choose you.” With that, Jennie laid back down and rolled over while pulling the covers over her. “Now, please turn the lights off. I have to get a fucking job in the morning unless you want me squatting here.”

In a daze, you turned off the lights then crawled into bed beside her. You laid on your side with your back facing her, trying to discern why you felt even sadder than before. You thought she fell back asleep soon after, so you began crying and letting the stress of everything wash over you. While blubbering into your pillow, you felt Jennie’s arm drape over your shaking frame as she scooted closer to you to be big spoon. Your sobs soon died down, finding comfort in her embrace. But the most overwhelming emotion of all was relief.

[thinking-in-symbols]

Quinquennial Life Assessment

So, it’s been a few years.  When I was 19 I posted a sort of “roadmap” for the evolution of my life on this blog.  Today I thought I’d revisit that.  I want to take a look back and see what progress I’ve made, and then in a separate post I want to turn to the future, think about how my vision for it has changed, and consider how I can reincorporate these goals into that vision.

This is the list of things I wanted to get done in varying time frames.  I’ve crossed off the things I’ve done to get a sense of my progress:

1 year:

At 19, my hopes were to accomplish the following things by age 20:

- Joined, and consistently participated in, at least 2 campus organizations that suit my interests, at least 1 of which should be competitive in nature - well, I joined the ISO and KVRX, my college radio station!  Neither of those were competitive, but in retrospect I don’t really care about that :-)

- Made concrete plans to study abroad - Nope, unfortunately I never did this.  I’m not quite sure I regret that, all things considered - I traded that experience for other things.  I did make plans to spend a few months abroad of my own accord, and I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for that meddling global pandemic.  But as it stands I haven’t done this.

- Learned C++ and python to proficiency - Hm.  “Proficient” is a relative term.  But I think I have a tendency to downplay my skills, so in the interest of counteracting that I’m going to count myself as “proficient” in these languages.  I think that’s fair.

- Gone on at least a several day road trip with at least 1 friend - I’ve gone on several trips with @meeshbug​, my very lovely girlfriend and best friend in the world :-)

- Decided on a concentration beyond the extremely vague umbrella of “computer science” - Unfortunately as far as my education is concerned I never really did this.  If anything my interests have *broadened* rather than becoming more focused.  More on this later...

- Made meaningful, ongoing contributions to an open-source project - You know what?  I’ve published the source of everything I’ve ever made, and I’ve gotten to the point where I can make stuff that’s not trivial.  So I’m giving myself credit for this one.

- Learned to cook enough meals to eat in most days and not get sick of my own food - I wish.  I’ve learned to cook a fair amount of stuff but I still get way too depressed and lethargic to apply that consistently.  Whether I consider myself to have achieved this honestly depends on the month.

- Learned to keep my living area clean - I’m much better at this than I was at 19, but at 19 I could barely clear a path to walk across my room.  So there’s more work to do.  More on these last two later.

- Gotten a pet - Meesh and I have a dog named Courage (after the dog of cowardly fame) and a cat named Jax!

2 years:

- Independently written a piece of software to completion and deployed it publicly - I’ve always pretty bad at actually seeing projects through to completion, but I do have a few full, independent projects under my belt at this point.  I’ve built a simple game engine, a pathtracer, plugins for games I like, and some other stuff.

- purchased and begun regularly using some basic amateur radio equipment - Ah man.  I got my license but I still haven’t gotten any equipment.  I guess I have to get on that...

- purchased and begun experimenting with some basic music recording equipment - This one I’ve done, but I haven’t done as much experimenting as I’d like.

- hosted a party - I did this for my 21st birthday and it’s one of my favorite memories!  Honestly this was probably the last time I had all my really close friends in one place.  I’m actually getting kind of emotional about that.

- done some kind of hallucinogen - I have now done this.  I definitely did get something out of it, albeit not what I expected.  This is something I actually only did pretty recently and it’s still having a pretty profound effect.  Maybe I’ll write a separate post about this.

- Gone camping with friends - Despite my best efforts, this hasn’t happened yet.  Pretty fucked up.

3 years:

- learned to play another instrument besides the piano (guitar?) - I don’t feel comfortable crossing this one off quite yet, but I went ahead and bought myself some guitar equipment and have been messing around with it lately :-) I think I’m going to have to bite the bullet and pay for lessons if I’m serious about this, which I am.

- Written and recorded a song - Damn, I can’t believe it’s been 5 years and I haven’t even done this.

- Met a group of people I can play music with - nope

- Owned a leather jacket.  I can’t believe I’ve still never even owned a leather jacket - I’ve done this and wore it frankly too much.  Kinda cringe.

- Worked as a professional software developer - Yep!  Worked as a software developer for a retail company for a couple years.  I’m actually not working as a software developer right now, though; I’m working in a sort of adjacent position.  More on this later.

- Participated in research related to my field - That’s pretty ambitious.  Not sure I’ll ever do this, unfortunately.  But we’ll see.

- Been to a film festival - Oh shit, I totally forgot about having written this.  That’s a cool idea.  I should do this, it’s not like it’s hard (well, at least in principle.  I guess covid kind of changes the situation).

- Gotten a dog - Courage is one of those, I think, although he might also be part rat.

- collected 50 records - Lol, my dumb ass really thought I was going to buy $1,000 worth of records on college money.  No, I haven’t done this, but I’m on my way there.

- Purchased a desktop computer - Well, my dad gave me his old desktop.  That’s not really a purchase but I think it counts.

5 years:

- Begun accepting freelance development gigs - haven’t gotten here yet and I’m not totally sure this is a direction I want to go in my career.  Freelancing has its own stressors as I’ve come to learn from others.  No career path is sunshine and roses and I’m trying to internalize this fact.

- Participated in a student film - Nope.  I don’t even know why I wrote this down to be honest.

- Gotten laid by solving a 5x5 Rubik’s Cube in front of a girl because surely that’s gonna have to work on someone eventually, otherwise I wasted a lot of time - These are getting weird.  Surely I didn’t really expect this to happen, right?  Well, either way I now have a long-term girlfriend, so I don’t - wait, Meesh has seen me solve a Rubik’s cube and she saw it before we started dating.  So actually I’m going to give myself credit for it.  I’m the one who makes the rules here.

- Fleshed out my political opinions - Yes, I now know everything about politics and can answer 100% of questions on political issues.  Just kidding.  But I know where I stand.

- Participated in a protest or some other kind of political event - Done!  Went to a few protests as part of the ISO, participated in lots of their events, and attended some protests with friends as well.

- Studied abroad - Nope :-/

- Learned a language other than Spanish - I took a semester of French!  But I don’t quite want to give myself credit for this one because I really would like to learn a different language to something resembling fluency.

- Run a marathon - Lmao.  I am in much worse shape now than I was when I wrote this post, and even at that time I could probably do like 7 miles if I really pushed myself.  How sad.

- Gone hiking outside of texas - This is weird because I’d literally already done this when I wrote this post.  But I’ve done it more since then, so hey!

- Been out of the country with a friend - This I had also already done.  I guess the point is to have done it without “adult supervision” or whatever.  I haven’t done this since writing this list so I guess I have to leave it uncrossed.

10 years:

- Lived with a girl for an extended period of time - Meesh 🥰

- Spent at least 6 months living on the road in an RV, preferably with a dog and a girl - God, I am so close to being able to do this.  I don’t want it to be an RV anymore - those things are expensive.  But a van?  Still pricey, but doable, especially if I’m willing to sacrifice some comfort.  This has actually been front-of-mind for a while.  I’ll let you know when I get the balls to pull the trigger.

- Started making Real Money - Well, yep, I have gotten to that point.  I do have other thoughts on this, though.  Money is weird, man.

- Lived in a long-term living space outside of Texas (i.e. not including RV time) - How long is long-term?  Three months?  If so, I’ve done this by living in Boston with Meesh for a few months after she went there for law school.  However, I anticipate staying there much longer in the near future, so I’ll wait on this crossing this one off.

- Written a book about something, idk - Not yet.  I’m halfway to the deadline on this one and I have some ideas, but ideas aren’t worth all that much, especially to me, who rarely sees them through.  We’ll see where this goes.  It’s not exactly a priority and historically I struggle to get even my priorities done.  It might make more sense to replace this with recording a concept or narrative album, for which I also have ideas that I happen to take more seriously.

- Learned to solve a 6x6 Rubik’s Cube - nope

- Gotten laid by solving a 6x6 Rubik’s Cube - nope

- Lived in an apartment where I pay all the rent - Yes!  :-))) We love independence

- Earned an advanced degree (this one’s iffy) - This hasn’t happened, and whether it will ever happen is something I’ve been thinking a lot about.  I sort of decided half-way through college that I would be totally burned out on school by the time I graduated.  But in retrospect it takes way less time to burn out on work than it does to burn out on school, and grad degrees are a different kind of thing.  So it’s worth revisiting.’

- Given a best man speech (Sam, this means you have to get married within the next 10 years.  Good luck out there.) - Holy shit, Sam, you maniac, you actually did it!  Sam got married back in 2019 and I gave his best man speech! It’s another one of my favorite memories :-) 

- Gone on a cruise with someone I’m dating - Hmm, not yet.  I’ve gone on cool trips, but none on a boat.  Maybe that’s something to aim for after the pandemic passes :-)

Retrospective:

1yr: Completed: 5/9

More than half isn’t bad!  I’m not gonna worry too much about whether I got these things done within their assigned “time-frame”.  I’m a procrastinator in my heart and I don’t see any reason to put that kind of pressure on myself.  The point is, they got done.  That’s enough for me.

The things I did best in in this category were academic things, and things to do with relationships.  I’m proud of the academic achievements, I really feel like doing them has increased my belief in myself and my sense that I’m good at the thing I’ve spent the last four years studying.  And of course, I am so happy to be in a loving, fulfilling relationship that brings so many good things into my life.  I almost feel like the things I accomplished sort of fell into my lap - of course I’m gonna do programming stuff as a programming student, and getting pets / going on road trips are things I did as a result of my relationship with Meesh.  I don’t say that to downplay the accomplishments, but I do think it’s worth noting.

The things I haven’t done are more to do with personal development, which is disappointing.  I would like to be able to say, 5 years down the road, that I’ve done the personal development I expected to do in just a single year, but maybe that’s a lot to expect.  These are problems I’ve dealt with my whole life.  I think what this means is that I can’t expect everything to fall into my lap.  Those things are going to take real concerted effort to change.  I’m not quite sure how to go about that, though.

2yrs: Completed: 4/6

Two-thirds!  Even better!

Lots of these are one-time accomplishments, not so much long-term commitments to personal development.  The good news is, I did them, and I think those resulted in some development in their own right :-)

Again, though, the things I didn’t do so well are the things that require long-term, concerted effort.  For instance, while I crossed off the one about experimenting with music, it’s really only the initial investment that I’ve really done at this point.  It remains to be seen whether I’ll be able to follow through on the commitment to actually experiment and learn.

3yrs: Completed: 4/10

This category also follows the same pattern I’ve noticed with the last two.  The other thing I’m noticing is that so, so much of my effort over the past few years has been going towards developing a very particular skill: programming / computer science.  Music and art are so important to me, but I’ve done very little real development in those areas.  I mean, I’ve done some.  But not as much as I would have hoped for half a decade.

5yrs: Completed: 4/10

This is getting a little more fun because less of my goals have to do explicitly with my degree.  I’m starting to think beyond college, which is good, because the stage of life I’m in right now requires me to start thinking about the kind of life I want to build now that I’m done with school.  Also, I’m at the deadline for this one right now!  So this is a particularly interesting category because it really shows where I thought I’d be by this time.

The goals I accomplished in this timeframe are, again, mostly things I’ve done through my relationship, but politics also feature pretty prominently on this part of the list.  I spent a lot of time reading and researching political issues during college and really did look for ways to participate.  I honestly made politics a pretty big part of my identity over the last 5 years, and I think it will stay that way forever, but I’ve gotten to the point where I think I need to devote less of my mental energy to knowing more.  I know what I need to know.  It’s time to think about other things.

10yrs: Completed: 4/11 (and counting!)

There’s some career stuff in this section that I’ve been able to do, which is good news.  I’ve always been scared about entering the working world.  All things told, it’s gone more smoothly than it could have.  But I also have lots of lingering doubts about what I want to do in the long term.  So one of the most pressing goals I should aim for is to resolve those doubts.

Ultimately, I have a lot of time left, and I’m not even done with this time frame, so I’m not gonna spend much time dissecting the things I haven’t done.  What I’ll do instead is say that while I didn’t do everything on this list, I feel proud of the things I have accomplished.  I said when I first wrote this list that it’s sometimes hard for me to feel that my life is moving in any particular direction, and I’m still feeling like that five years later, to be honest.  But looking back on these things has helped me see that I actually am making progress in my life.  Not in all the ways I want to, but that’s OK.  There’s still time.

In the next couple days I want to come back to this and reorganize this list into an updated set of goals, for the same time frames.  Maybe that will help me think through exactly what it is I want out of the next five-ten years, with the benefit of having analyzed the things that I did and didn’t do well over the previous five.

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 10

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k // 4.4k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: i know Louis said it was his least favorite song on his album but it was too perfect so i had to use it. also, if you get the movie reference, youre amazing lmao! thanks for all the love, i hope you guys enjoy this chapter and that you’re not getting tired of this

requests! : added a few and ill post them but i didnt add ALL the things written in the asks just because it didn’t fit, i hope its okay! if you read there will be very tiny spoilers :)

Chapter 10 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I quickly left after he turned away from me to walk to his car. Not because I wanted to leave but because his words had brought inside me a few sensations I felt guilty to feel. Hope, definitely. Happiness, probably. And also an intense relief that I couldn't explain. I felt relieved that he thought we were worth it. I felt relieved knowing that our friendship still surpassed any other relationship in his life, including his girlfriend. I felt happy that he was not going to give up and hopeful that we could go back to being close. That too, I felt guilty to feel. Would that hurt Dylan? He was already so understanding and sweet with me, he didn't deserve his fiance to lie to him, or even omit to tell him things.

I parked in front of my house and noticed Louis' car was there but I remained sitting behind the wheel a bit longer. Louis was there and I could talk to him. This is exactly what I needed yet, I couldn't find the courage to walk inside and sit with him. Perhaps I was not ready to let out all of this out loud because I knew it would make it even more real than it already was. Telling someone else was going to hit hard, I knew it.

I breathed in before pushing on the door but Louis was nowhere in sight. I frowned but took my shoes off and decided to walk to his room. The music was on, the door was closed, and I felt my heart skip a beat, hoping he was not with his girlfriend. I licked my lips before biting the bottom one and knocked at the door three times.

"Louis?"

The music stopped and it took only a few seconds for the door to open. His lips curled into a smirk and he leaned against the door frame, raising his eyebrows at me in a suggestive manner.

"Heyy, where did my queen spend the night?"

"Louis, I need to talk to you." I admitted, walking past him and inviting myself inside, ignoring his question.

"That bad, huh?" he chuckled a bit, closing the door behind us and turning around to look at me as I sat on his bed. "Did you let him fuck you into oblivion? Meaning that you totally forgot that you were both taken and that he had shattered your heart into millions of tiny pieces?"

I groaned and grimaced, letting myself fall on the bed, lying down on my back as my legs were still hanging from the bed. I grabbed his pillow and pressed it on my face before letting out a muffled scream. It took only a few seconds until he grabbed the pillow roughly and pushed it away on the bed.

"Did you really sleep with him?" he asked in a soft tone, looking down at me before I shook my head. "Did you two kiss?" Once again, I shook my head. "Then what's wrong?"

I let my eyes roam on Louis' face and licked my lips. I didn't want to say it, the words seemed to be stuck in my throat, but keeping them inside was starting to hurt physically. I just didn't know if it would hurt more after they came out...

"Say it, you know you can trust me." Louis expressed in a low and gentle tone, making me lick my lips again.

He didn't understand that the problem was not him hearing it, it was me admitting it. He kept looking at me, his eyes roaming on my face slowly, and I focused on the way he blinked, the way he smelled, the way he made me feel..

"I love him." I breathed so low I wasn't even sure I had heard myself. "I'm in love with Niall."

My best friend didn't show an ounce of surprise. Instead, he sent me a small smile and nodded, still looking down at me. I pressed my lips together, trying to keep the tears inside, but I felt them fill my eyes and did everything I could not to blink. I could pretend that seeing Niall made all my feelings come back to the surface but the only thing seeing Niall again made me do was realize that I never stopped loving him.

"And you love Dylan, too?" he asked, making me nod. "Okay, if you spend your life with Dylan, will you miss Niall?"

I held my breath, feeling my whole body throb at his question. He knew that answer, didn't he? Because he would always miss Eleanor if he was with someone else, that was a given. In fact, that was not even worth asking.

"Alright." he added, as if he read the answer in my mind. "If you spend your life with Niall, would you miss Dylan?"

I felt my eyes get bigger and I knew Louis was trying to read my answer on my face. He ended up just sighing low and tilting his head a bit.

"It's not about love, you know." I just replied, trying to avoid a question I ignored the answer of. "It takes more than love. A lot more. " I paused. "It was so much easier when it was only you and I."

This time, his lips curled into a smirk and he raised his eyebrows at me, moving his face slightly closer.

"You forget fast, my queen." he pointed out, booping my nose gently and making my lips curl slightly. "We were both miserable, shagging each other to get affection and orgasms but never really reaching the happiness we were longing for. We struggled so much, we've come so far."

"I know." I admitted, hearing my voice crack despite how low it was. "But we had each other."

"We still do." he replied, smiling fondly at me for a few seconds as I tried to contain my tears. "Wait a second, I want to show you something."

He quickly got off the bed and I sat up, looking at him. He searched through his stuff and I frowned when he grabbed a disk and finally, my lips curl.

"A CD? What is this? 2005?"

Louis chuckled, his back still facing me. "Oh shut up! I just wanted to be sure it wouldn't be leaked before it was supposed to. I don't trust cellphones. Or people, really."

This time, I laughed and shook my head. I knew what he meant, I also had a hard time to trust people. I used to be the type who would trust everyone and get hurt all the time. I guess the bad and manipulative persons I had met in my life had changed me.

Louis came back and sat next to me as a song started. The melody came to my ears but was quickly followed by his voice, bringing a sensation of comfort inside me. I knew Louis had worked a lot on his album and the fact that he was ready to share a song with me meant a lot more than he probably thought.

"You say to me your jeans don't fit You don't feel pretty and it's hard to miss I wish that you could see my point of view As someone staring back at you On Friday night when we're all out I turn to you and you're looking down And you don't wanna dance I know you love to dance You never stop given half the chance

Just keep your head up, love, keep your head up Don't hide away, don't ever change Keep your head up love, keep your head up Don't look away, don't look away"

I turned to him and sent him a smile, reaching for his hand and grabbing it in mine. I didn't know why but that song did something to me. I loved the way it seemed like he was talking to the person listening with a soft voice but it's only when I heard the chorus that I held my breath.

"'Cause everybody's looking at you now My, oh, my I guess some queens don't need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still somehow You're perfect now"

He probably noticed my eyes getting bigger and knew I was asking myself questions because he simply nodded and squeezed my fingers tighter. I felt myself tear up and swallowed hard.

"You never do but if you asked me to I'd tell the truth lying next to you 'Cause you're the only one When it's said and done You make me feel like being someone good to you Even at your worst You steal the scene and it's unrehearsed Don't you wanna dance, just a little dance? I'll never stop given half the chance"

My lips finally parted and he sent me a fond smile, bringing his other hand on mine just as the bridge started.

"Every insecurity Like a neon sign As bright as day If you knew what you were to me You would never try to hide away"

Despite trying hard, I couldn't help it and started crying. I didn't even reach my face to wipe the tears off, I just sobbed low as I stared at him and gently, he brought one of his hands to my cheeks and brushed his thumb on them as I sniffed.

"'Cause everybody's looking at you now My, oh, my I guess some queens don't need a crown And I know why Even when your tears are falling down Still somehow You're perfect now"

We remained silent for a few minutes as I let the information sink in. Louis had told me his whole album would be based on his feelings for his girlfriend, and he had started writing it before he got back with her, that I knew, but I never thought he'd take the time to write one for me. I never thought I inspired him enough to get a whole song written about me. I didn't really believe I was interesting enough but the truth was, this song was beautiful, and it was mine.

"Thank you." I whispered, knowing my voice would break if I talked louder.

I swallowed my tears again but it started hurting and I felt my eyes flutter, letting more tears fall.

"At first, I wanted to bring you with me when I recorded it, but I decided it would be better if you were the first one to hear the final product." He stared at me a few seconds before moving his head slightly. "Come on."

I slipped my arms around his chest and leaned my head on him as he wrapped his arms around me. I closed my eyes and we remained in each other's arms for a few minutes before he gently fondled my back.

"I don't think you realize how big of an impact you had on my life, Liv." he continued. "You were there for me in a moment where I thought I had no one. You stuck by me, and you.. I never properly thanked you for calling El on that night."

I pulled away and looked in his eyes, sending a small but sad smile.

"You were there for me too, and I'll never forget that, Lou." I pointed out, looking down at my hands as I played with his fingers. "I mean, I had expected you to drop me and I wouldn't have blamed you. Niall's like a brother to you and you two have been through so much.. that comes first. I feel extremely lucky."

"There was no reason for me to choose between you and him. I took care of you because you were the one who needed me, and because you're my best friend."

"I was pathetic." I chuckled, shaking my head.

"You were hurt. We both were. And despite that, we helped each other. You realize that doesn't happen often, right? Normally, two persons going through the same thing can understand each other, but can't help each other. But you and I? We did both. We're invincible!"

This time, I laughed and licked my lips, nodding a bit. He was right, we went through so much together and somehow, we had helped each other out of misery in our own way. I had found my desire to live back with him... because of him, and the relationship I had with him was unique.

I thought about Niall and about how our relationship used to be unique, too. Perhaps, it still was and always would be, but I missed how it used to be. I missed how it used to be so easy between us and how nothing was awkward. I missed our talks, the fun we used to have, the inside jokes that made us laugh so hard that we couldn't breathe. And I missed him as a person, him as a best friend, him as a boyfriend. I knew I shouldn't live in the past but I couldn't help it. I couldn't stop thinking about going back to how happy we used to be together.

"Did you tell El about that song?" I asked cautiously, suddenly scared it would cast a chill between me and her.

"Mmhm, yea, she said it was okay." Louis tried to reassure me before chuckling. "Most of the album is about her so, she doesn't care."

I didn't want to say it out loud but I was actually jealous of his relationship with Eleanor. They were meant for each other and the way they loved each other was something I used to have but didn't anymore. I used to believe Niall and I shared the same kind of bond and love that Louis shared with his girlfriend but that time was over, and I couldn't help but think it was unfair.

"Okay, enough with this cheesy shit." he just said, hitting his own thighs slightly. "We're spending the evening together, okay? Pizza and poker. Like we used to do except this time, we can bet more money because you joined the rich asses club!"

I rolled my eyes and we both got up before I followed him to the kitchen.

"My ass is still as poor as it used to be, haven't seen my first check yet." I argued, raising my nose up.

"No problem, you can bet your supply of cookies!"

"Ah Ha! No way!"

He laughed more as he called the pizza while I grabbed a few beers in the fridge and got the cards. We sat exactly how we always did and he opened my beer, handing it to me before opening his and taking a sip from it. It was almost like a well rehearsed choreography and I smiled as he shuffled the cards. Quickly, he dealt them and I looked at those I got in my hands before he started talking again, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it up.

"So." he mumbled, taking his cigarette out of his mouth and breathing out the smoke on the side to make sure it didn't go near me. "What are you gonna do? Are you gonna tell Niall that you love him?"

I chuckled and raised my eyebrows, discarding two cards and glancing up at him.

"No." I let out firmly. "I'm getting married."

Louis stopped moving and after a while I looked up at him. He was staring at me and I could read a bunch of questions in his eyes. I grabbed a cookie from the box and put it in the middle of the table, trying to ignore the way he was looking at me but after a while, I just couldn't anymore.

"Okay Louis, say what you want to say." I let out with a sigh. "You normally don't keep it in so, throw it my way."

"When you say you're getting married, you mean you're getting married to Niall in a few years, that's what you mean, right? Because darling, marrying a man if you've got an other man in your heart, that's just fookin' unfair."

"I love Dylan." I argued, leaning against my chair.

"You love Dylan but you're in love with Niall." he replied a bit louder. "He's the one who's got your heart. He's got a hold on it that no one else ever did and probably ever will. You know it, I know it, and you know what? Dylan will realize it at some point. So you either try to find a way to get completely over Niall, or-"

"Or what? Or I give up the only chance I have to be happy with someone?" I cut him, my tone getting a bit harsh. "It's not my fault I fell in love with Niall, it's not my fault he broke my heart, and it's not my fault he came back! Why am I always the one who's got to give up everything when all i'm trying to do is survive and move on!"

I was on the verge of tears again and I shut my eyes tight, trying not to literally burst in front of my best friend. I loved Niall, I really did, but he was dating someone else. Yes, we had almost kissed a few times and yes, he told me that our friendship was worth saving, but that didn't mean he still had feelings for me. It didn't mean he wanted to be with me again. It didn't mean he wouldn't break my heart again.

"I'm sorry." Louis finally said after a few seconds of silence. "I know you're not ready to trust him and I shouldn't insist."

"Louis, I can't be with someone who doesn't want me." I pointed out after calming down, putting an other cookie on the table as he did the same. "Just because he wanted to kiss me doesn't mean this is love. Lust, maybe. But love is a strong word. He regrets hurting me and he apologized. That was more than what I expected."

"Of course he still loves you."

I looked up at Louis and felt my shoulders fall as I sighed.

"I don't trust Niall's feelings, not after what he did. He probably can't even trust his own feelings, you know?"

"He grew up, he probably learned too, like we did."

We heard the doorbell and I felt suddenly saved. Louis jumped up and sent me a bit smile before rushing to the door., I closed my eyes and breathed in and out deeply. Perhaps Louis was right and Niall still had feelings for me, but I wasn't sure what they were, or what his intentions were. I knew we should have a conversation but I was not mentally prepared for it. I didn't feel strong enough to go through it. I didn't want to hear how he really felt because no matter what it would be, it would either hurt me or force me into making a choice. I was not ready for neither.

                                                      ---

I rushed to the movie theater knowing I was a few minutes late and when I looked up, I noticed Niall waiting for me in the middle of the place, his hands in his pockets. His lips curled when our eyes met and I stopped in front of him, out of breath, my hands on my knees. He laughed and bent down to look at me and my heart skipped a beat when I realized he looked amazing, even from that angle. Who does that? No one.

"Out of breath?" he laughed. "Maybe you should get into shape? How about coming out for a run with me a few times a week?"

"I don't think that a person should run unless he's being chased." I just pointed out, moving up and making him smile even more.

"Okay, an other movie quote." he laughed as I tilted my head.

"Casey and I've got a lot in common."

"Just say you like Elijah Wood."

"Who doesn't?" I rhetorically asked with a frown, a small smile playing on my lips.

We decided on a movie and I felt him grab my fingers as we walked in the hall. I held my breath but he quickly pulled on my hand and made me twirl around. It brought a bunch of memories to my mind and I let out a laughter and squeezed his fingers before letting go of his hand.

We found a spot in the back and I felt suddenly nervous, playing with the fabric of my pants. I knew friends went to the movies together but I didn't want to make all of this awkward. The movie started almost immediately and we didn't really have time to talk but I felt at ease around him, the way I used to. It's only around the middle of the movie that I felt his hand on my knee. He started drawing shapes on my jeans and my lips parted. My heart skipped a beat and I glanced down at his fingers. I didn't know how I should react which resulted in me not doing anything. After a while, I couldn't focus on the movie anymore and closed my eyes, concentrating on how I could still feel his touch even after his fingers were away. The shapes were random... a circle.. an infinite sign (or was it the number 8?).. simple lines... but I never wanted him to stop. I felt my inner thighs start throbbing but weirdly, it didn't feel sexual at all.

I jumped slightly when they turned on the lights again and expected him to take his hand back but it lingered a few more seconds on my knee before he got up and extended it to me. I grabbed it without thinking but let go of his fingers as we walked out only to push them in the back pockets of my jeans.

"Enjoyed the movie?"

I turned my head to look at him and nodded slowly.

"Oh, uhm yea, I did." I sort of lied. "Did you?"

"Was alright."

We walked out and stood in front of each other as everyone else walked by and I couldn't help but glance around. I felt nervous and it was even worse when he took a step closer to me as someone passed really close of him. He looked down at me and I pressed my lips together but we kept silent for a while. To anyone who would take the time to study us, we most likely seemed on a first date but it was so much more complicated than that. And so much deeper, too.

"D'you.. maybe.. want to come home? Food and beer, perhaps?" I proposed with a shrug. "Louis and El are probably there, we could do something with them?"

His lips curled and he nodded. "Yea, yea, that's great, i'll meet you there."

I watched him and held my breath at how beautiful he was. Now that I had confessed out loud that I was still in love with him, it was really all I could think about. It hurt so much and at the same time, it was a relief to admit it to myself.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and took it off only to see a text message from Dylan. My heart skipped a beat like I was doing something wrong and I licked my lips nervously.

'Hey babe, I miss you, I hope we can talk soon.'

I started nibbling on my bottom lip as I typed an answer quickly. I missed him too and I had the feeling that if he was here, it would be easier not to fall even more in love with Niall. Or at least, I could always be reminded of what I could lose.

"Boyfriend?"

Niall's voice took me by surprise and I looked up, sending him a smile.

"Yea, it's the first time we're separated for so long so, we're not really used to it." I expressed with a shrug. "Plus, his days are intensive so when his day is over, he's exhausted and he needs to go to bed because it all starts again on the next day."

"That's why I brought you on tour with me last time." he pointed out. "I hated being away from you."

My lips parted for a few seconds as I kept looking at him and finally, my lips just curled. I hated being away from him too. I could easily remember all the times we were separated and it was horrible, even if we were only friends at that time. I wanted to mention to him that we had been separated for more than a year and also ask him how he felt about it, but I didn't dare.

"I couldn't go with him." I let out, regretting it immediately after. "I was... I'm busy."

He nodded, looking down, and I had the feeling I had hurt him but I was not sure how. I felt something stir in my stomach and cleared my throat.

"Okay well, i'll meet you at my place, you remember where it is?"

His eyes met mine and he smiled again before nodding.

"Mmhm, i'll see you there."

He brought his hand to my arm and I held my breath. His fingers were warm, making it obvious that my arm was cold. His skin against mine, despite my expectations, made me shiver and once again, my lips parted as my heart jumped in my chest. Something in his facial expression changed, too, and deep down, I wished it was the contact of his fingertips on my skin that shocked him, too.

I can't remember the walk to my car, and barely the ride home, but when I parked my car, Niall was already there, waiting for me next to his car, watching something on his phone. I got out and walked to him, a bit sad that his gaze didn't meet mine.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

It took a few more seconds for him to look up but when he did, I knew he had seen something that would bother me. He sighed and turned his phone my way to let me read the title of an online article someone had probably sent him. I noticed the picture first : Niall and I holding hands at the movie theater and the irony made me grimace. Didn't we get papped like that when he was dating Maya and I was with Harry? My eyes finally moved to the title and once again, I held my breath.

'Our favorite couple is back!'

That's when I knew we were both in deep shit. Again.

[cienie-isengardu]

The development of Law’s relationship with Zoro - Part 5: Zou, The Kindred Spirits (Ninja-Pirate-Mink-Samurai Alliance)

<<Part I: Before Meeting>> <<Part II: Sabaody Archipelago, The First Meeting>> <<Part III: Punk Hazard, The Alliance (A)>> <<Part III: Punk Hazard, The Alliance (B)>>  <<Part IV: Dressrosa, The Breaking Point (The Plan Failed)__ (Saving Law)__(Protecting Law)__ (Birdcage, Pica and Doflamingo)__ (Aftermath)>> <<Part V: Zou, The Kindred Spirits (Traveling Together)__(Searching for Nakama)__ (Reunion)__ (Ninja-Pirate-Mink-Samurai Alliance)__(The Last Moments before War)>> >> 

Once Robin finished her translation, the King of the Day confirmed that indeed, red stone was hiding the leads to the place sought by the most powerful people on the sea. The legendary Rafter:

↪ Zoro (similar like King of the Night) was sitting on the ground in distance to others, yet Law was one of those closest to him. This was the second time Zoro kept sitting with Law standing in close range.

↪ On the group picture, the distance between those two changed into little to no personal space. For understandable reasons, the frame needed to contain all nine characters thus previous positions of these characters had to be disturbed. Zoro could be shown simply at Law’s left side (what was the most true in relation to the previous frame) instead it looks like Law was standing just behind the sitting swordsman.

↪ Again, Law and Zoro had a similar reaction - just a frown - that contrasted with the “open jaws” of others. They were the only two people keeping quiet. 

In all fairness, there is divergence in the location of these two characters. From one panel where Zoro sit alone far away from group

 to another, again between comrades.

↪ Despite the divergence, Law always stayed close (or closest from all people) to Pirate Hunter. 

↪ Once again, when the group learned shocking information - Kaido and Big Mom had two from four red poneglyphs needed to find Raftel - Zoro and Law did not show much emotions while Luffy was full of enthusiasm and Weakling Trio & Brook scared for good.

Nekomamushi warned Robin that all the powerful players will seek her out to learn the truth about poneglyphs to which she replied: “I don’t mind. After all I’ve got very powerful friends who will protect me.” Interestingly, Zoro was not shown alongside other Straw Hats pledging to protect Robin no matter what or being over pleased with her words. There is no doubt he will protect her like the rest of the crew but the lack of emotional reaction to Nico’s praise adds to the feeling of quietness and coldness - traits shared with Law through the arc.

Mink leaders and samurais shared with pirate alliance information about poneglyphs and that Momonosuke’s father - Kozuki Oden - was killed by current shogun of Wano, Orochi and Kaido. The last part brought them all to tears. Zoro with unusual(?) tact asked about the reason and, like he deducted, has it anything with them being chased by Doflamingo’s people.

Kinemon confirmed Zoro’s suspicion. 

“Yes… as you suspect, his crime was grievous. Kaido is attempting… to pry information out of us. The old Daimyo… lord Kozuki Oden… rode with the King of the Pirates, Gol D. Roger… to Raftel, the final island!! And it was there that he learned the secret of the world!!!”

For the first time in a long time, the position of sitting Zoro and Law changed in a way they got separated - and the distance stayed between them through the whole chapter 819:

While many characters were shocked by the reveal that Kozuki Oden was part of Pirate King’s crew, Zoro was still focused on understanding the situation of the samurais.

The loyal men of Kozuki Oden explained the fight to fulfill their dead master’s final wish to open Wano board to the world, the difficult situation in their county and their struggles to find allies who will help to beat down Kaido. Kinemon then asked Luffy and Law for help:

“And thus I have a request of you, sir Luffy!!! And of you, sir Law!!! It pains me to beg favors after you have already saved our lives… but your strength overwhelms me every time!!! If you are willing to accompany us in our struggle… then I ask for your help in the battle to strike down the Shogun of Wano and Kaido, Emperor of the sea!!!”

Luffy refused and didn’t accept the plea until Momonosuke - the heir of Kozuki Oden and leader of the samurai group - didn’t speak for himself. The boy did as Straw Hat requested and told about his wish to avenge parents and protect his loyal servants, asking for pirate help in the fight against Kaido. To which Luffy agreed, promising to defeat the Emperor.

↪ Like in Dressrosa, Luffy wanted to personally take down the enemy without considering the help of others. 

But since Luffy again promised someone help without any consultation with Law, Trafalgar openly showed discontent with the other captain doing what he likes without any thought about him. This scene varies from one translation to another, either as a simply ask "And what about our pact, Straw Hat?”

or

about Luffy’s faith put in Law and not asking him about opinion:

In case of the latter, which I think is closer to original meaning, at least in comparison to Polish and English subtitles for episode 771, the uncharacteristic behaviour of Law will soon be more related to Zoro’s own - but about that in a moment. 

And so, the Straw Hat-Heart pirate alliance changed into Ninja-Pirate-Mink-Samurai alliance.

Luffy told the ninja-mink-samurai allies there was no need to bow to them. Because for him alliance meant friendship and friends were equal. Law again disagreed with the notion alliance = friendship. 

This was the second time during the Zou arc (and third in general) when Law openly rejected the prospect of befriending Straw Hats. Like he said earlier to his crew, there was no need for them to be friends. This may explain why despite being on good terms with Straw Hat pirates he didn’t try to tighten ties with them. Thus the still visible distance... that did usually not include Zoro. But then again, both swordsmen understood the pragmatic reason for forming alliance and weren’t “delusional” about friendship being required part of that.

Of course, that does not mean that Law disliked Straw Hats and vice versa. Because after so many wild adventures and fights side by side, the bond between them was made whether anyone wanted it or not.

Luffy asked allies to wait with fight against Kaido until he retrieved missing crewmember:

“I’m going to bring him back… so hold off the fighting until then! The good news is that Sanji’s real tough! Having him on board is like having the strength of a thousand!!”

Zoro’s reaction - the same as Law’s moment ago - was pretty uncharacteristic. Not in the sense of rivalry between him and Sanji but in reaction to Luffy putting so much trust & respect into someone’s else.

Similar to Law (who most likely was put off by Luffy not showing him - the co-leader of alliance - proper respect by omitting his opinion during making important decisions), Zoro was openly upset(?) that Luffy praised so much Sanji whose disappearance caused unwanted troubles. The most uncharacteristic part of Zoro & Law acting was the openness about wanting / expecting Straw Hat’s respect. At the same time, both Supernovas did not  compete for that between themselves - both moments happened in relation to someone’s else. Law, in relation to other leaders of the ninja-mink-samurai part of the alliance. Zoro in relation to fellow member of Monster Trio. 

On the way back to town (chapter 820), the alliance had another chance to learn pieces of mink-samurai history, a bit about the way to Raftel (brought by Nami who was worried about navigation) and what happened to Whitebeard’s pirates under Marco’s command who battled with Blackbeard one year ago.  Zoro and Law were both pushed into background characters for most of the chapter. The animated version of these events (episode 771) still grouped them together in the little character-centric shots and properly showed that once again, Law walked right after Zoro at the very end. The interesting detail (seen in manga too) is that on the way back, the other characters walked in a different order than last time. Except Zoro and Law.

At some point in the journey, Law and Zoro separated. They were not very active in the main conversation until the end. Luffy asked where the alliance members will reunite with each other to which Zoro wondered if it was safe for Kinemon and the rest to return to Wano since the samurai group was targeted by Kaido. Law promised a safe journey to enemy territory in his submarine. Despite not taking an active part in the previous discussion, both Supernova paid attention to it and kept analyzing the situation.

The happy return to the town was disturbed by unexpected, powerful quakes. As it turned out, Jack came back to Zou and attacked Zunesha’s monstrously huge leg (to kill the carrier of Mink home rather than fight the remaining warriors). Ultimately, the situation was saved by Momonosuke who responded to the voice of the elephant and gave it a permission to destroy Kaido pirates. What the mysterious Zunesha did.

During that short lived moment of danger, Zoro and Law seemed to be unmoved by it (chapter 820).

and once the danger passed, both again stood close to each other (chapter 821) even though for the last 2 chapters they almost didn’t interact nor were in really close range of each other.

Next chapter: The Last Moments before War

[doomstypewriter]

ok so this is kinda out there so i totally understand if you decline this short request but: angsty, hurt no comfort, major character death moceit where janus is like 5 minutes away from being executed (i was thinking by hanging) and this is their last goodbye. it probably wouldnt come into play at all but just to be thorough: in my mind its like a vaguely fantasy 18th century setting

Hello, Anon. Thanks for the request. 

I normally do not enjoy reading major character death fics, but I surely am most willing to write them. 

I was sold-out on the whole fantasy18th century setting. 

Did I get carried away? Well, yes. 

I hope you don’t mind the piece of subversion I decided to incorporate. Also, I did indeed get carried away and wrote 1808 words for this. I have no self-control.  

Anyhow, I hope you enjoy it! 

AO3                               For other requests

TW: Major character death, swearing, HEAVY angst. Really, this will not end up nicely. 

Words: 1808 

It is one’s duty to abide by the laws

Tap. 

Tap. 

Tap. 

Tap. 

The tireless dripping of the filtrations in the stone cell did not stop, a repetition akin to a clock. It followed along the rhythm of the passage of each second he had left. 

As expected, the dungeons stunk of humidity and other things he did not wish to dwell on. They hadn’t even allowed him the comfort of a pile of hay to lay onto. All the dirt on his left cheek stuck to his skin disgustingly, god knows how scruffy his appearance would be after a week imprisoned.  

Far away, carried by the reverberation of the undergrounds, the sound of steps from upstairs reached his ears. There was a scuffle between who he deduced were four people. Two guards, and two...

“I said let me IN!” 

Ah. 

Two idiots. His two idiots.

“I needn’t remind you that challenging His Royal authority will wind you up where you are so adamant to give us pass to. I can begin reciting all set laws you’d be violating”. 

The loudness in Logan’s voice surprised him. It was almost as if he intended for him to listen too. 

A heavy door opened with a low creak. Then steps rushing down the irregular stone stairs. 

“Janus!” 

Oh. His heart jumped and wailed at the shadows turning the corridor. A sweetness missing from his cheery, silly, and endearing voice. His idiot. 

A cloaked figure fell on his knees in front of him, yet the bars rendered him so far away. He removed his hood, and, there he was. With his curly blond hair, the freckles he’d counted so many nights and the round wire glasses he only wore in private. Patton, his lover, but, most importantly, the Crown Prince of the Kingdom of Ulidorean. Right behind him, as always, the royal advisor, also, his very good friend Logan Abinie. 

“What are you doing here? Does His Highness fancy tainting his reputation even more? I did deny our relationship, and anything that may have involved you with this mess, dear. Skillfully so. Have you any understanding of how hard that was? Well, of course not, because here you are, definitely not ruining all of my very light efforts on keeping your reputation untarnished. Lovely”. 

A pained smile graced Patton’s face, cutting him in half. He reached for the inside of the cell through the bars, to at least be able to touch him. 

“I’m sure those pants are not expensive at all. Thank goodness the guards bother to keep the floors spotless” Janus said as he gave in and got closer. 

Patton cupped his cheek, brushing some of the dirt away in a caress. Just as he always did. 

Not this time though. 

There was so much shit on Janus that not even a thousand caresses could unbury him out of the schemes that had brought him where he was. And, where was he? Oh, right, in a filthy cell, a night away from being executed. By hanging no less, and, oh, what a shame, for his windpipe looked so lovely whenever Patton pressed kisses alongside its column; but would, regardless, end up broken. 

All honey in his glance dripped on Janus leaving him with a bitter aftertaste. The brightest light in the world could not afford to be drowned in such sadness. 

“I’m going to save you” the whisper was so tiny he’d barely heard it. 

It felt like a love confession. ‘I’ll save you, he says, when he should rather save himself from me’. 

The half-born reptile looked up at the other person witnessing the prince’s lunacy. 

“You, get him out of here”. 

“No”.

“Great”. 

His scales popped, disentangling themselves from the glamour he had cast with blood magic, costing him a cut on his fingertips. At this point, he should be able to control his emotions. But no, apparently, there was no chance that the kingdom would not see his true visage. Dignity and death did not fit in fate’s plans for him. 

“How are you planning to do that exactly? Getting out of tricky situations was never your strong suit, my dear. That’s my job. And just look where it has led me. Where it has led us! You cannot ruin your chances with the crown when Earl Heeldwing and his supporters are threatening your father’s authority like they are”. 

“Roman is searching for the Dragon witch” he tried to argue. 

“So what? He may be your best knight, but he’s not your brightest one. Virgil is still wounded, and, without his help, he may never find the Dragon witch”. 

“You are not the only draconid descendant within the kingdom, the council knows this. If we manage to apprehend the Dragon witch and get her testimony we may be able to persuade the Circle of Elders to reconsider the nature of your penalty and earn the time needed in order to prove your innocence, but first, you must--” 

“Logan, goodness, I was not aware of the fact that there are many draconids in Ulidorean. Well, not that you mention that I’m sure it changes the circumstances. The Elders could not have possibly considered that! You are truly the genius everyone pegs you as”. 

“Jan, trust me. Everything will be fine, just let me help you”. 

“No!” he pulled apart and stood up. “Do you think I have not considered this? I made my appeal to them! I did try to persuade them and show them that I was framed! But nobody in the council believes me anymore. If the Circle of Elders are set on having my head, me, their main consul, then whichever meager testimony you find, will not make it through to a hearing! I am to be hanged by tomorrow morning. So I advise you to leave me alone and save yourselves the heartbreak!” 

“I am doing my best!”

“Yes, because surely doing your best is all it takes to change the world! This ridiculous willingness to believe in the good in others. People will condemn an innocent and the world shall not move a finger to stop it. Patton, your naivety is what brought us into this situation!”

Patton struggled to keep his breath steady after that, managing only a nod in response. 

“I did not mean that” Janus said as he pushed his body against the bars. 

“You said it still” he stood up. “Believing that there is good in others is what brought me to believe in you”. 

His chest twisted in pain when Patton pressed a kiss on his forehead and made a move to leave. Janus caught the soft hand before he never had a chance to again. 

“Please”. 

“Don’t be afraid, I will find a way to keep you safe, okay?”

The hand squeezed back and then let go. 

Seeing the dawn one last time. Maybe, if they moved him to the carriage early enough he could watch the sunrise before it got dark for good. 

The cell door opened.

A pair of handcuffs were quickly snapped closed on his wrists. 

Walking through the corridors he realised. ‘I don’t want to die’. 

He disentangled himself from the grip of the guards and he ran. Away, anywhere. 

‘I don’t want Patton to marry a noblewoman for heirs, I want him to marry me. I don’t care about what the court thinks anymore, I could not manipulate them. I want to wake up with him. I want to still be the Elders’ consul, I want to write law, I want my books, my house, my friends… I want to live’. 

One of the guards caught him. Janus was immobilised in the blink of an eye, the other guard hit him in the head and everything went black. 

Not for what seemed long enough. 

He woke up to the jolting of a carriage. Unexpectedly, a very nice looking carriage, rather than the disgusting ones which took the prisoners to the gallows. 

What? 

Impossible. Patton had made it. There was no other explanation. He… he did manage to save him! God. To hell with his views on the nonsense of the institution of marriage, he was going through that wedding Patton had always wished for. 

His vision finally focused. The concussion would not heal immediately, but he would have Patton by his side. 

By his side, he found Remus instead. 

“Remus?” 

“Hey, dragon penis. Long time no see. You got pretty roughed up in the dungeons”.

Remus by his side, and in front of him…

“Logan?” 

“Ah, you’re finally awake. You might be suffering from a concussion. It would be best if you rested for now. We will wake you once we get to the border”.  

“To the border?” Janus asked as he tried to sit up. 

A wave of nausea filled his esophagus. 

No. Not a good idea. 

“Rest. We will explain in time”. 

“What is going on?” 

“...” 

“Logan, you never keep quiet when someone asks a question, what mess…” 

“I can hit him in the head again, if you want” offered Remus, not sounding as joyful as usual, 

“Where’s Patton?” 

With that question, the world for everybody withing the carriage suddenly stopped. Logan tensed within seconds, even Remus held his breath back. They looked at each other in a way that conveyed far too much sympathy, especially considering their personalities. An unspoken message went between the two. Janus could almost hear it. It was a ‘we have to tell him’ kind of look, was it not? 

“He pleaded the principle of exchange using his royal power”. 

“No”. 

The principle of exchange was one of the laws introduced during the reign of Patton’s grandfather, it allowed for a person to exchange the penalty of a crime with that of a relative’s. It was intended as a way to prevent the most vulnerable members of a family to endure the hardness of a punishment they might not be able to withstand, while ensuring they received the impact of said punishment through the bond with their family. 

But, for that to happen… Patton must have recognised him as his spouse. Members of the crown could not be executed for a crime, only exiled. 

Then…

Oh no. 

Patton walked up the wooden planks that made the stairs of the gallows. It was worth it, he told himself. He even kept on telling that to himself when the Circle of Elders encouraged him to reconsider. Janus was convicted before he had made him his husband, which means that the veto on punishment by execution on the royal family did not stand for him. His grandfather had not thought this far ahead when he wrote down the law. One may stand in the place of a relative for a crime. That applied to everybody.

Including him. 

Logan and Remus would watch over Janus. 

Patton smiled in spite of it all. 

He did keep him safe.

...

I AM SO SORRY. 

[fleckcmscott]

Watch What Happens - Chapter 22

Chapter links: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21

Summary: Arthur, an aspiring comedian, has struggled to find normalcy and compassion his entire life. Y/N, a hard-working paralegal and transplant to Gotham, has just been put on a case for the Wayne Foundation. When they meet, unexpected sparks fly.

Chapter warning: Angst, Swearing

Words: 3,372

A/N: Again, special thanks to @ithinkimawriter​ for beta-reading this chapter and her encouragement! All the love goes to her!

It was hard for Arthur to fathom that he was backstage at his idol's show. Being there in the dressing room, sitting in front of the vanity mirror with all its lights, was incredible. If he hadn't been able to feel the bristles of the brush when he put foundation on, the cool of the water as he drank it out of the fancy glass they'd provided, or perceive the way the warm smoke from his cigarette filled his lungs with every drag, he would have been sure this was all make-believe.

The nearby table had a set of bowls with various snacks. He wasn't hungry, but he tried them anyway, wanting to keep himself busy. The round, beige nuts, a variety had hadn't eaten before, had a buttery flavor he liked - he'd have to ask Y/N what kind they were when she got there. And there were individually wrapped pieces of chocolate with a gooey center - he stuck a few of those in his pocket for later. There was also a gelatin pyramid with fruit and marshmallows suspended in it; he stayed away from that completely.

Bouncing up and down on his feet, he hung onto the open front of his suit jacket, pulling at the soft, red fabric. He cocked his head and looked in the mirror. His hair was slicked back more neatly than at the open-mic night. The skin of his face was a bit smoother, the lines in it softened by make-up and the gentle lighting of the room. He'd done a good job with his appearance, he thought as he fixed the collar of his white shirt. Now he just had to get through his material.

He sat in the chair before the vanity and started paging through his notebook, chuckling to himself. It had been impossible to memorize everything he'd written the past few days, though he knew one or two jokes by heart. He sometimes had difficulty with retention, anyway. Reading his set would be sufficient if his delivery was correct. If he could get the words out, it would work.

There was a knock at the door, then it suddenly opened. More emotion than expected filled Arthur when he turned to see Murray Franklin, the man he'd fantasized of being loved and accepted by ever since he was a little boy. His chest tightened, and he didn't try to hide the watering of his eyes, rising from his chair excitedly and taking the man's hand. "I feel like I know you," Arthur said. "My mother and I have been watching you forever."

Murray simply smiled, nodded, and delivered instructions: nothing too edgy, no dirty jokes, and no cursing. Arthur would be right on after Dr. Sally. "Didn't you have a guest?"

"She's not here yet. But she will be," Arthur answered, nodding to convince himself Y/N would run into the room any minute.

"Good. Someone will come get you, okay? Good luck," Murray said.

"Thanks, Murray."

Once the the host left and the door closed behind him, Arthur eased into the make-up chair and let out a long breath. He glanced up at the clock on the wall. The airing of the show was going to start in ten minutes. She'll be here. She wouldn't miss this. She wouldn't do that to you. He turned to the news playing on television. All he could do was wait and hope she'd show up soon.

~~~~~

Getting into the building had been straightforward. The doorman had asked for Y/N's name, she'd said it was "Melissa Treble," and, after finding her on the guest list, he'd let her through the backstage entrance. He hadn't even asked for an ID. It left her wondering if they were always lax, or her still being dressed in her office clothes had helped. Despite the ease of entry, her heart was hammering in her chest. She held her handbag to her as if some invisible force might rip it away. Straightening the visitor badge clipped to her blouse, she tried to walk as nonchalantly as possible, searching for a map of the building.

When she found the elevators, she read the directory hanging between them carefully. NCB news studios were on the fourth floor, and the offices for it were on the fifth. She wasn't going to try to run into the studio while they were in the middle of a broadcast and get arrested for trespassing. That wouldn't do. She decided to look for the stairwell and walk to the offices' floor. The stairs would be less crowded, she assumed, making it unlikely she'd be seen.

As she climbed, her steps growing slower with every floor, she took off her heels. The concrete was cold on her nylon-stockinged toes. But the discomfort kept her focused on the task at hand instead of allowing her to fixate on being nervous. The anxiousness she felt wasn't only for herself, but also for Arthur. She knew what she was doing was a desperate, last ditch attempt at making a difference. That even if she succeeded in getting her information to someone, it didn't mean anything would be done with it.

But Arthur was putting himself out there, against her advice, on the show of the asshole who'd made fun of his disability. Though she hadn't seen him have an attack since last week, she hoped he wouldn't start laughing uncontrollably. And that his new stand-up wasn't only filled with cute jokes, which would invite unkind snickers. She simply wanted him to succeed. Perhaps that would help him shed the insecurity she knew he still carried, and he'd be free to display the grace she'd seen glimpses of when he dared to trust himself. Maybe he'd finally realize how terrific he was.

She rested against the railing when she reached the fifth floor, then opened the metal door leading out of the stairwell. Sticking her head into the hallway, she looked each way, relief filling her when she saw the emptiness of the perpendicular corridors. She snuck out and held her breath as she shut the door behind her. So far so good.

It was impossible for her to know which way to turn - it was a fifty/fifty chance either way - so she picked the way with the fewest illuminated office lights. Keeping her shoes in her hand, she walked quietly along the wall, reaching into her purse and grabbing the envelope with "NCB News" typed on the front. She needed to find a door labeled "reports" or "tips" or something, anything that sounded vaguely like they'd look at her notes instead of throwing them away.

"What do you mean you didn't receive the finance report? I faxed it over this afternoon," a man's voice said, coming from one of the nearby offices. Y/N slunk back, creeping into the door of an open, presently unoccupied office behind her. The sound of papers being shuffled echoed against the linoleum floor. She closed her eyes, trying hear his movements over the pounding pulse in her ears. "Hold on, hold on. I'll bring it down to you," the man continued.

At the sound of his chair scraping against the floor, she moved to crouch behind a desk. She bit her knuckle to stop a chuckle at the ridiculousness of a grown woman playing hide-and-seek in an office building. The man walked by, grumbling to himself the whole time. When she heard the distant ding of the elevator, she tip-toed to the door and looked into the hallway.

Y/N considered the best option. The man's office door was open. He had mentioned reports. This was as good a chance as any. She darted across the corridor, dropped the envelope on his desk, and scurried back towards the exit. Heading back to the stairwell, she broke into silent sprint as she got closer. She tried to stop before slamming into the door. But her slippery nylons caused her to slide and bang into it as it opened. Ignoring the possibility that she'd just given herself away, she started booking it down to the second floor so she could see Arthur.

The show was already being aired as she walked to his dressing room, trying to catch her breath. Monitors in the hallway were playing Dr. Sally's latest advice and Franklin's stupid quip about how he would try her tips with his next wife. When she reached the door labeled "Arthur Fleck," she didn't knock before opening it.

"Y/N..." Arthur sprang up from his chair and went to her, taking her hand in his. "I was afraid you wouldn't make it."

Smiling, she leaned back against the door and exhaled sharply. "I'm sorry," she said, giggling, trying to expel the stress in her body. "There were a lot of stairs. But, thanks to you, I did it." She laughed lightly, and started rummaging in her purse. "It's out of my hands now. Here," she said, pulling out a black-eyed Susan. She stuck it in his jacket pocket and gave it a light pat. Then she took a few seconds to look him over, appreciating how his suit accentuated the lankiness of his physique. "You look great. Are you nervous?"

The corner of his mouth crooked uncertainly as he angled his head to look down at the flower. "A little. But you're here." He gave a small shrug. "Maybe everything will be okay."

She only had a few moments to tighten his red and gold tie before a producer came to get him. The peck she gave Arthur was quicker than she would have liked, but he was already half out the door. With a grasp of his hand, she was able to stop him for a split second. "Be yourself and don't let them mock you."

~~~~~

Arthur closed his eyes as he waited behind the curtain to go on stage, a hint of ire joining the strains of anxious excitement in his frame. They were playing that terrible Pogo's tape again, and Murray was telling Dr. Sally he thought Arthur had problems. He needed to focus in order to do the entrance he'd practiced.

He stretched an arm in front of him, then circled his closed fists, one over the other, until an open hand was held over his head as he breathed out. Then he extended his arms, one in front of him and one back, as far as he could, before bringing his hand back to smooth down his chest and stomach. Arthur could sense the producer next to him staring his way as he performed his strange ballet, then stepping back from him. But Arthur didn't care. The movements would soothe and, he hoped, center him enough so he could get out onto that stage and say what wanted.

As the multi-color curtain was opened for him, he was struck by how blinding and hot the stage lights were. And the spotlight was a hell of a lot brighter than the one at Pogo's. Still, he stepped out with polish, gave the audience a confident nod and wave, and went to Murray's desk. After firmly shaking Murray's hand, he approached Dr. Sally. Compelling himself to be brave, he took her offered hand, kissed her cheek sweetly, and whispered a soft, "Thanks." She looked a bit confused, but he thought he detected amusement, too. Then he wiped off the yellow chair next to Murray's desk and sat down, adjusting himself and crossing his legs, his hands folded neatly in his lap.

His breath caught as he looked up into the audience. This was it. This was real. This was the culmination of a dream. There were hundreds of people sitting there, cheering for and seeing him. And there were even more at home watching him on television. His lips parted as his gaze roved over the crowd. He'd barely heard Murray speaking when his question broke through the haze he was in, "Are you all right?"

"Yeah," Arthur said quietly, nodding. "This is exactly how I imagined it."

"Well, that makes once of us," Murray quipped.

That and the audience's laughter brought Arthur back. He forced himself to smile and remember he wasn't there only as a guest. But also as a prop.

"So," Murray started. "I know you're a comedian. You live here in Gotham. Backstage you said you grew up watching this show with your mother?"

Turning to him, Arthur nodded, loosening his shoulders, trying to be self-assured. "That's right, Murray."

Murray gestured towards the camera almost directly in front of them. "Is she watching tonight? Do you want to say hi?"

Arthur knew greeting his mother would be the usual thing to do. But, apart from brief asides, he hadn't been able to think about Penny without angrily tearing up. He clenched his jaw and waved the suggestion away. "No."

After a pause, Murray continued. "Well, have you been working on any new material? You wanna tell us a joke?"

The throng in the studio roared, applause filling Arthur's ears. He didn't answer immediately, reveling in their attention. "Yeah?" he asked them, his beam becoming genuine. His throat clenched as he straightened his legs and put his hands on his knee. It was hard to believe, but they actually seemed to want to listen to him. "Okay." Flashing Murray a grin, he pulled his journal from the waistband of the back of his trousers.

Murray started in on Arthur as he soon as he began flipping through the pages. "He's got a book. A book of jokes." As Arthur searched, Murray continued to badger. "Take your time. We've got all night."

Arthur gave Murray side-eye and chuckled to himself as he found what he was looking for. "Okay, okay. Here's one." He swallowed, then took a deep breath. "Knock knock"

Murray pointed at the book. "And you had to look that up?"

At the sound of everyone laughing at him, Arthur’s face became serious. Murray was already making the effort to be mean to him. Arthur looked at Murray's co-host, seated next to Dr. Sally on the couch. His guffaws were the loudest. "I wanna get it right," Arthur said earnestly. "Knock knock."

"Who's there?" Murray answered exaggeratedly.

"It's the police, ma'am. Your son jumped off of Wayne Tower." Arthur started to snicker. "He's dead."

"Oh, no, no, no." Dr. Sally rounded on him as the audience groaned. "No. You cannot joke about that!"

Murray sounded annoyed. "Yeah, that's not funny, Arthur." He tapped his cue cards against his desk, addressing the crowd as he admonished him. "That's not the kind of humor we do on this show."

"Okay. I'm-" Nodding furiously, Arthur continued. "Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just, you know..." He tightened his mouth. "It's been a rough few days, Murray." Sniffling, he tried to smile though the pain welling in him. "My mother having a stroke, finding out I was abused as a kid, trying to meet my father."

Murray pressed his lips together before seemingly deciding to try to save the segment. "It sounds like you had a tough week." Arthur flinched when Murray nudge his arm with his elbow. "Come on, tell us another wisecrack. But a family one, this time." he said, pasting on a showbiz smile.

Arthur rolled his eyes and closed his book. "Why is everyone so upset about my joke?" he asked.

Murray began to scold him. "Because that's too serious to kid about. People who would try that are sick. We should-"

"I've been that person," Arthur said, throwing his forearm down on his leg. "And if it was me dying on the sidewalk, you'd walk right over me." He drew his brows together, turning more fully in his seat. "You think it's funny to play my video, to invite me here to make fun of me, but I can't joke about what I know?"

There was disbelief in Murray's face, as if he couldn't believe Arthur was calling him on his bullshit. "That video got you here. On the biggest TV show in Gotham." The crowd cheered. They seemed to be taking Murray's side.

Fury grew in Arthur as they brushed off his words. "Comedy is subjective, Murray. Isn't that what they say?” Didn't the people of this city know the harm they'd caused him over the years? That tape had tormented him. And they didn’t even realize they were laughing because of his condition. “All of you," he said straight to the audience, "the system that knows so much, decides what's right or wrong. The same way you decide what's funny," he pointed at himself, "or not." Giggling, he indicated Murray.

Murray was looking over Arthur's shoulder as he spoke. "Look, Arthur, if you're not careful, we're going to have to stop this interview."

Arthur felt like he was being ignored, again. They thought what he had to say wasn't worth the air it took to speak it. He tried to take a deep breath, reminding himself Y/N was watching backstage. That he could finally look forward to the weeks ahead because, at last, someone loved him.

But as much as her affection had improved his life, helped him get through every day, it wasn't enough to erase his hurt and anger. And now that he had this platform and was being seen, now that he'd opened his mouth, he couldn't stop talking. His volume rose as he continued. "Have you seen what it's like out there, Mur-ray? Do you ever actually leave the studio? I've been in enough observation rooms to make a few observations."

The wetness in his eyes distracted him for only a moment before he continued. "Nobody’s civil anymore!” he yelled. But then his voice got quiet, cracking on his next words. “Nobody thinks what it's like to be the other guy."

He thought of the possibility of being thrown out of his apartment, and Mr. Wayne socking him in the face when all he wanted to do was talk. "You think men like Thomas Wayne ever think what it's like to be someone like me? To be somebody but themselves? They don't. They just think we'll sit there and take it."

Murray scoffed at him. "There's so much self-pity, Arthur. I'll tell you-"

"And you're awful, Murray."

��Me? I’m awful?” Murray sounded incensed. “Oh, yeah? How am I awful?”

The skin of Arthur's chin trembled as he tried to hold himself together. "I never had a father growing up. I always wished he was you. I loved you. But you're just like the rest of 'em."

Murray folded his arms and leaned on his desk, narrowing his eyes at him. “You don’t know the first thing about me, pal. I invited you on here and all you're doing is insulting me.”

Arthur swallowed and looked up at the ceiling, pressing his lips together. "How about another joke, Mur-ray?"

"I think we've heard enough of your jokes," Murray said sternly.

If he was about to get kicked off, Arthur wanted to end with a zinger. "What's the worst part of having a mental illness?" he started, feeling tears start despite his efforts to hold them back.

Murray nodded towards someone in the back. "Gene, cut to commerci-"

Arthur interrupted, his voice breaking. "People expect you to behave as if you don't."

It got quiet, then. Arthur decided no one knew how to respond to the reality in the joke he'd just told. As the silence from the audience, the other guests, and Murray lingered, he started chuckling. He placed his hand on the arm of the chair and squeezed, wiping at his eyes with the heel of his palm as his body shook and he bent forward with laughter.

After a minute, he heard the click of high-heels approaching. When Y/N knelt in front of him, he met her gaze and let out a breath of relief. "Y/N," he said, swiping at his nose. She'd put her hand on his knee. He reached to cover it with his fingers, holding tight. "You're still here," he whispered.

The corner of her mouth quirked up as she nodded, her eyes rimmed red. She squeezed gently as she addressed him with a shaky voice. "Let's go home."

Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve​ @clowndaddyfleck​ @sweet-nothings04​ @stephieraptorr​ @rommies​@invisiblewispofwhimsey @let-the-stars-fall-in-the-abyss​ @gruffle1​

[trashyswitch]

Sergeant (Sgt.) Jackson

Jameson has a secret that no one truly knows about. He has managed to keep it under wraps, but has left bits and pieces of his secret in his room to look at. One night, his secret becomes incredibly hard to hide, and someone catches him doing some...very violent actions...

Disclaimer: This fan fiction talks about World War I, and the traumatic experiences behind it. If you are sensitive to these topics or you have a family member that is, feel free to close out of this fic.

For the rest of you, read at your own risk.

Dialogue in {these} are his memories, good and bad.

Dialogue in [these] are the written words on the laptop he types on.

Dialogue in (these) represent extra information.

{Bombs exploding...

5 Gunshot sounds every second...

Dirt and mud all over your uniform...

people lying down dead on either side of you...

Jameson hides himself under the trenches, his Mosin-Nagant M1891 musket rifle hugged against his chest.

Jameson turns to his right, and watches a soldier get shot in the shoulder. The soldier falls backwards, landing in the dirt. Jameson shakes his head to focus on the task at hand. He readies his rifle, double checks his bullet count and takes a deep breath before lifting himself above the trenches to shoot. He fired his gun, pulled the slide back to reload the gun, and fired again. He repeated this action multiple times and shot towards any heads that were available to shoot.

Suddenly, before he could even think, a bullet came flying, and hit the man. As if in slow motion, Jameson came crashing down, falling backwards and feeling his body hit the hard ground with a loud thump. }

All of a sudden, Jameson gasped and opened his eyes awake. He sat himself up swiftly and felt his forehead for any bullet wounds. No holes, no pain, no nothing. It was just another nightmare. Thank God. Jameson looked around the room, and noticed how dark his window was. Then, Jameson turned his head towards the clock: 1:27.

These nightmares occurred once in a while. But, he's never woken up in the middle of the night before. This was brand new. So he got up, lit up a lantern and looked around his room. There was a corner of his room dedicated to boxes of old stuff. On the wall were multiple things from Jameson's life: a crumpled letter he had put in a picture frame, a couple rolls of film of his first motion pictures, a poster of his JJ's Jolly Jaunts show, and his personal favorite: his military hat with the British symbol on the front. Jameson smiled as he felt the top of his brown wool trench hat. It still had a bit of dirt stained on the top, and the white British symbol on the front had turned a beige brown from the dirt alone. He carefully lifted the hat off the nail, and placed it on his head. Flashbacks to his recruitment came back to him. The day he lined up alongside other soldiers, who volunteered their time to serve for their country.

Wanting to see the hat on him again, Jameson looked in the mirror. The hat still fit him surprisingly, and it looked like the only thing that really changed in those years, was his haircut. Jameson smiled at his reflection.

Soon though, his smile began to fade as flashbacks to the war entered his head. These flashbacks used to always haunt him. But at this point, Jameson had grown somewhat insensitive to him. The memories didn't make him happy nor sad, for the former sergeant was used to the gloomy memories of his war days. The only time his insensitivity would turn to pain and grief, was around Remembrance Day. But, the pain wouldn't last all day. Thankfully, his roommates showed their gratitude and appreciation for their free country. The poppies reminded them of the millions that died, and the thousands that survived and lived to tell the tale.

Though, Jameson's roommates never truly knew how much those poppies meant to him...He's been internally tempted to walk out of his room on Remembrance Day in his full military uniform, but he refused to give in. Though his mind had grown used to the memories, his consciousness reminded him that his friends didn't quite understand what was really was. Jameson despised the idea of his friends learning a new side of war, and seeing his friends cry over such a painful subject. So, he kept it hidden in plain sight: his bedroom walls.

As Jameson hung up his hat once again, Jameson played memory after memory in almost perfect order. It didn't take long for Jameson to reach his worst memories: The Nurse's station.

{Pain! So much pain! Every single sharp cut gave him excruciating pain! Immediately after the sharp pain, came even more pain as the nurse cleaned the blood off with a cloth. The feeling of a cloth against his severely bleeding wound hurt so much! A fabric like that should NEVER be placed on an open cut!}

Jameson could feel his eyes welling up with tears, as his hand gently fluttered itself across his neck. There, on his neck, was a scar. a long one at that. The scar started from the top of his Adam's apple, to the hole in between the collar bones (sternal notch). Painful flashbacks started going through his head...

{Jameson walk up on a hospital bed. He was tired, and was struggling with slight breathing issues. Thinking his lungs had been damaged, he laid there, waiting for a nurse to arrive. He was in a white tent, filled with multiple hospital beds with injured people surrounding him. In those beds, were groaning soldiers who were bandaged up. A man in a bed across from him, was grunting and hissing as a nurse cleaned his bullet wound. Jameson sighed and reached his hand onto his head, to feel for any bandages.

Thankfully, there were no bandages on his head. Jameson felt down his face, feeling to make sure his face wasn't wounded. No wounds or pain on his face. Then, Jameson made the mistake of touching his neck...Jameson let out a cry of pain, which sounded raspy and only made the pain even worse. Jameson's eyes widened as he slowly, softly and carefully touched his bandaged throat. The front of his neck was injured with a bullet wound, and every breath he took felt like there was something in his trachea. Jameson, fearing for the worst, reached his hand back and felt for any painful wounds in the back. It only took 2 little pokes to create tons of pain in the back of his neck. Jameson let out yet another raspy yell, and retracted his hand from the painful neck. Looking at his hand, he couldn't help but notice the blood spill, that had leaked onto his hand from the bandage.

This only confirmed his thought: Jameson's bullet wound had an entrance wound, and an exit wound. So, the bullet was not in his body.

"Don't touch it." Someone warned beside him. Jameson looked up, and saw a female doctor and a nurse standing beside him.

"What ha-"

"Don't talk either." The nurse warned. "The bullet went through your larynx, and damaged your vocal chords. We are going to need to operate in order to remove the damage." The nurse explained. Jameson's eyes widened. Operate? They're gonna need to cut him open?!

"What-"

"I said no talking." The nurse repeated. Jameson closed his mouth and whimpered in fear. "No vocal sounds, until we've cut out the damage. The more you talk, the worse the damage becomes." The doctor ordered him. Jameson gulped. He wanted to apologize, but that required using the one thing he couldn't use. So, Jameson kept quiet.

"Nurse, hold his head back, using the sides of his head. We need to make this very quick, so we don't want any moving during this operation." The Doctor told her nurse. the nurse nodded in understanding, and grabbed the sides of his head.

"Don't worry. it won't take long." the nurse reassured him. Jameson's breathing slowed slightly, for a few seconds.}

Jameson snapped himself out of it. The hand that held onto his throat, had started to grip and tighten in anger and fear. Unable to handle the memories going through his head, he threw his hand away from his throat and grabbed his empty rifle off of the wall. Jameson wrapped the gun and strap around his body and opened up a drawer. There, in his drawer, were several bags of rifle bullets. Jameson grabbed them, put them in his pocket and headed out his room door.

Jameson walked down the hall, out to the patio and out into the large backyard. Though the backyard was dark, it was still visible enough thanks to the lanterns that were hung up, and the solar lights that were hammered into the ground. Surrounding the backyard, were several trees. Jameson took off his gun and pulled the slide back to insert a bullet. Then, pushing the slide forward, Jameson readied his hands. The feeling of the gun in his hands was mostly familiar, yet slightly foreign thanks to the decade-long break he took from shooting. aiming his gun with his dominant eye, he focused his eye towards a tree...and...

*BAM!* The gun declared, blasting the bullet right into the tree. The bullet zoomed into the tree and got stuck right into the middle of the tree trunk. Jameson's eyes widened before looking down at his familiar gun. Though Jameson had taken good care of his rifle over the years, he was surprised it still worked as well as it did. Jameson walked over and examined the new hole. Not bad...for a comeback. Jameson walked back to the spot he was standing on before, and pulled out another bullet. Pulling the slide back, Jameson reloaded and pushed the slide forward. Then, readying his hands, he bent his shoulders down and matched his dominant eye with the aiming eye on the top. He readied his finger...and...

*BAM!* Another bullet went flying, but practically missed the tree and hit the edge of another tree, before falling and making a cloud of dust and dirt. Jameson grunted to himself and walked over to retrieve the bullet. He looked around the ground, and soon found the shiny golden bullet within the bland, brownish dirt. As Jameson walked back to his shooting range, Jameson reloaded his gun, using the golden bullet that failed the first time. Jameson turned himself around towards the trees again, and readied his hands once again. He aimed the gun using his dominant eye, and without even thinking about it, started moving certain levers to fix his aiming eye above the gun. Jameson readied his hand on the trigger...and...

*BAM!* The bullet went flying, hitting a tree trunk, and managing to knock off a chunk of bark as well. Jameson was about to walk over, when:

"JAMIE! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" Someone shouted behind him. Jameson turned around, taking his gun with him. without even remembering the consequences, Jameson pointed the gun at the man behind him. A high pitched, fearful yelp could be heard from the man in front of him. His head still near the gun, his eye focused onto a black t-shirt. Jameson lifted the gun, and gazed his eyes on a frightful man with a red hat. Jameson slowly but surely walked himself up to the man, examining him. Logically, he recognized this wasn't a soldier. But consciously, he saw the man as just a bystander, who should be killed for finding him...

That was, until Jameson snapped out of his trance and realized who this really was: Chase Brody. Chase had his hands up in surrender as he tried to keep his cool. Though, it's not really easy trying to keep your cool when a close friend of yours is pointing a gun at your face, let alone a man who shouldn't be in possession of such guns...

"Jamie...Think about what you're doing..." Chase told him. Jameson's eyes slowly widened as he realized what he was doing: He was pointing a gun at his best friend! Jameson slowly lowered the gun. Chase slowly walked up to him, and carefully attempted to grab the gun out of his hand. But, Jameson pulled back and hugged his precious gun. For if it weren't for his gun, he wouldn't be alive right now...

So, afraid he may use it against someone or something, Chase slowly walked up towards him, and gripped the gun with both hands. Next, to get the gun off of the man, Chase jerked himself to scare the man. But, unbeknownst to Chase, this would not be as easy as he thought...Jameson didn't move. He didn't flinch, he didn't even blink! He just stayed still, holding the gun with a predator-like stare in his eyes. So, without even a second to consider the consequences, Chase bashed Jameson's chest with the gun, and attempted to slip it out of his hands. And surprisingly, it worked...but at what cost? Jameson still had that numb, predator-like facial expression. He looked like he was planning to lunge at the man. However, Chase didn't notice the facial expression was still there.

"What on earth were you thinking? Shooting a gun like this in the backyard!" Chase shouted. Jameson jumped back, his facial expression turning to surprised fear. "You realize this is illegal without a license, right?" Chase added. Jameson's face slowly morphed into a slightly angry, mostly confident face.

'I know.' Jameson signed.

"Then why the hell are you shooting a gun like this?! Hell, WHERE did you get a gun like this?!" Chase asked, looking around at the big thing, that was over half his body height. Upon examination, Chase noticed some white, faded paint on the strap.

(Sgt. J. Jackson)

"...who- you wrote your name on it?" Chase asked.

'It's mine.' Jameson told him.

"Well I know it's yours. You obviously bought it. But WHY, IN THE WORLD, do you have one of these?! Are you a hunter or something?" Chase asked, before examining the gun once again. This time, his examining of the old gun was more rough than gentle, which made Jameson very nervous. It was incredibly old after all, and he wanted to preserve it for as long as possible.

'Careful! You're gonna break it!' Jameson warned him.

"Aw come on Jamie. It can't be that old." Chase told him, completely naive to the situation. Jameson began to grow angry. How DARE he handle his special gun like that?! He should be treating it like the vintage object it is! Or else, it's gonna get broken!

'Stop! It's fragile!' Jameson warned him angrily.

"Oh please! What I'm doing, is nothing compared to what YOU were just doing! You were using it! Something you claim to be 'fragile', should not be used like that!" Chase argued, before dropping it 2 feet onto the ground. Jameson gasped and clenched his fists, horrified at Chase's rough handling and at the thought of it being broken. With all the mechanical sounds it made upon impact, Jameson couldn't tell if it was just shaking machinery, or broken pieces. Either way, Jameson was furious!

Jameson's face morphed into pure rage, before he sprinted up to the man and tackled him onto the ground. Who does he think he is, handling a century old item that roughly! He should be ashamed of himself! That was an irreplaceable item! If that item broke, he couldn't get it fixed! 1900's Gunsmiths didn't exist anymore! And even if they did, Jameson didn't know anyone who could fix such a thing.

Jameson breathed furiously through his teeth. He sounded like an angry bear. Chase's face had changed into pure fear! He had NEVER seen Jameson THIS angry before! This wasn't Jamie at all! This was a completely different person! In an attempt to tell Chase how he felt, Jameson let in a quick and sharp breath, and screamed!

Chase closed his eyes and turned his face away in pure, genuine fear. With his sympathetic nervous system kicked in, Chase could only freeze in place. He couldn't fight! That could make the man even more angry! And he couldn't flee! How could he flee an angry man like this?! Chase could only stay freeze in place, and hyperventilate until Jameson stopped screaming.

Only...Chase soon realized that the screaming wasn't even screaming at all...it was whisper yelling. Chase slowly turned his face towards Jameson again as he tried to process what Jameson was trying to do.

It didn't take long for Jameson to also realize his scream was was just one long whisper. In surprise, Jameson stopped his yell, and let in some tired breaths before bringing his hand up to his throat and feeling it. The scar...it was still there...He couldn't talk, yell, even whimper if he wanted to. his vocal cords were completely destroyed. In frustration and anger, Jameson's grip on his throat tightened, as more growls left his mouth. Then, his hand let go and joined his other hand as he clenched his face and covered his eyes with his clenched fists in pure anger. He couldn't tell Chase what he wanted! He couldn't tell Chase anything!

Jameson's body began to shake, as sobs began to overcome his body. Traumatic memories of his surgery began unconsciously filling his brain. The endless pain that the surgeon put him through! The frustration of not having a voice anymore! The anger that welled up inside him! The yearning for revenge against the soldier that robbed him of his voice! It all started coming out in endless sobs. Soon, Jameson's gripped head made contact with Chase's chest. Jameson was angry, but exhausted after expressing that anger. His brain was fatigued. He was sick and tired of keeping all the war memories inside his head. It was way too much for a man to handle! And to top it off, Jameson was immortal. He had survived for more than a century, without growing old. If he had grown up and gotten physically older, Jameson might've been able to handle the memories better. But since Jameson's body never aged, Jameson had to look in the mirror at the very young man that survived the war so many years ago. Everyday, looking at the mirror reminded him of the same, recognizable face that got home from war with traumatizing memories in his head. And now? Chase has seen his worst. His war face, his gun, even his meltdown was a sign of Jameson's haunting past.

Meanwhile, Chase had been softly rubbing Jameson's hair and curled back, in an attempt to sooth him. Chase had so many questions to ask the man. But for now, all Chase could do was calm him through the endless, pain-stricken meltdown. Whatever happened to Jameson, was clearly something traumatic. Chase could easily theorize that the meltdown had something to do with his voice. Did the man have a voice before he met him? If so, how did he lose it? Did the throat scar he's seen countless times, have something to do with it? What in the world happened for Jameson, that he would need to shoot a gun in the backyard? Heck, how did Jameson have such a thing in his possession?! Did he buy it? Did he get a license without telling anyone? Or...was there a secret story that no one knew about, except for the dapper boy himself? Was Jameson even the dapper boy they knew and loved?! Or...was he someone else...hidden under a theater facade?

After a long 35 minutes of crying and comfort, Jameson's crying had begun to slow. His cheeks and hands were covered in tears, and his sobbing whisper noises were shaky. Chase had laid his chin on the man's head, and was now playing with his hair, rather than rubbing it. Jameson started to control his breathing, and try to breath in calmly rather than shaky. The mental strain of keeping his thoughts in were a lot less heavy, but he felt the need to talk it out. Tell everyone every single secret he'd been keeping since he met them.

Jameson lifted his head off of Chase and looked him in the eyes for the first time. Chase moved his hand off of his head, and looked back at Jameson. His eyes were no longer angry, full of fight or frustrated. His eyes were filled with pain. His eyes screamed 'help me', and his facial expression told Chase 'everything hurts'. Just by looking at Jameson's eyes alone, Chase felt the urge to wanna cry with him. He felt tears starting to well up, and allowed them to fall. He didn't start sobbing or whimpering. He just cried silently with him. Chase moved Jameson's messy bangs out of his eyes, and gave him a small, empathetic smile.

"How do you feel?" Chase asked the man.

Jameson looked away for a minute, before looking back at him. 'I'm ready to go now.' Jameson signed. Chase nodded and lightly squeezed his shoulder. Jameson got off of Chase, and picked up his rifle. He put it over his shoulder, and looked towards Chase. When he felt ready, Chase sat himself up as well, and got himself up onto his feet. Then, both adults opened up the patio door and walked into the house.

After taking off his shoes, Jameson sat at the table and started playing with his hands on the table. Chase walked over to his room, and came back to the kitchen with two laptops. After opening up a document and sharing it with the other laptop address, he opened up the other laptop and opened up the shared document. Now, both laptops had the same document pulled up. Whenever Chase would type something on the one laptop, the other laptop would collect the words as well. 2 laptops, one document.

"Here." Chase said, giving Jameson one of the laptops. "I want you to type what's going through your mind. It doesn't matter if they answer my earlier questions. I just want to know how I can help you." Chase explained.

Jameson looked at the laptop. This was his chance to tell Chase about everything going through his head. His one chance to tell him what's really going on...but...he couldn't put it to words...There were so many things to talk about, he didn't know what to start with...So, Jameson lifted one finger and started typing something.

[...]

Then, Jameson brought his hand back into his lap.

Chase sighed. "Come on, Jamie. You can do it." Chase told him. Jameson looked at him, broken and uninspired. "Here. Let's start with this: tell me about the gun." Chase offered. Jameson looked at the laptop, and sighed before leaning himself in and moving his fingers over the keyboard.

[It's a Mosin-Nagant M1891 Rifle.]

Chase's eyebrows lifted. "Wow...very...specific." Chase reacted. Jameson continued his typing.

[It's my gun. I've had it since I was a teenager.]

"Really? how old do you have to be to get a firearms certificate?" Chase asked. Jameson continued his typing.

[Nowadays, you have to be between the ages of 14, and 15. Back then though, you had to be a certain age to get enlisted into the war, which earned you a firearm. I got enlisted as a 15 year old.] Jameson explained.

Chase's eyes widened. "Oh my go- You were part of the army?!" Chase reacted, unable to believe him. Jameson sighed and continued typing.

[I was, when World War 1 started. My Father had to go off to war. I was the oldest of 3 children, and I couldn't stand the idea of my Father going off to the war on his own. I had to help him, but I wasn't old enough. So, I faked my age and got enlisted.]

"...Dude...you lied to get into war?!" Chase reacted.

[I had to. The Women's Suffrage movement was going around, handing out white feathers to adult men, and calling them cowards for not enlisting themselves. I was given a white feather! They thought I was old enough, and shamed me for not serving my country. The last straw came, when my Dad enlisted himself. I didn't want him going alone.]

"Oh my gosh...I'm sorry Jamie." Chase said, guiltily.

[Besides: I didn't know how traumatic it was gonna be...Who knew that serving your country, meant stomping in mud, watching your fellow soldier members killed, seeing explosions and hearing gunshots every which way? I would've rather lived in the fire-filled gates of hell.]

"Okay...you don't need to talk about anything else if you don't want to. I understand." Chase reassured him, feeling bad for pushing the man to tell him about this stuff.

[No...I want to. I've already started, I minus well finish.]

[I walked through multiple trenches during my time. I received letters once in a while, but rarely any food treats. The food was awful. The worst of the food, was Maconochie. It was a disgusting stew with meat (or what they claimed to be meat), and cut up veggies in gravy. It was disgusting, and I NEVER want to eat it ever again.]

"Eeeehehehew! that sounds terrible!" Chase reacted. Jameson looked at Chase, puzzled. Upon realizing what he did, Chase jolted. "Oh- Sorry! I...I didn't mean to laugh. I didn't even realize I laughed..." Chase told him. Jameson's face softened, as a slight smile showed.

'it's okay.' Jameson signed, before resuming with his typing.

[Our meals were usually either the dreaded Maconochie, or bully beef. Bully beef was literally just corned beef. On top of that, they sometimes served biscuits. But, those biscuits could destroy your teeth if you didn't soak them first.]

Jameson let out a dry laugh at that part. "God...No wonder you ban us from throwing away stale bread! The stale bread is still pretty edible, compared to those biscuits..." Chase mentioned.

[All food wasn't wasted. If you wasted the food, you'd starve that day. Soldiers had only 2 meals a day, and 4,000 calories daily. Though, I will admit that we had tea every day. That was a nice trench luxury. Cold or hot, it was nice to have some tea in your tummy. And, the tea made the bad water more drinkable.]

"Huh...cool." Chase reacted.

[I walked through trenches for 2 years, before getting injured in battle. An enemy shot me right through the neck, damaging my trachea and my vocal cords. The ]

Jameson paused his typing and stared down at the keyboard, struggling to type out the next part.

"...What's wrong?" Chase asked, leaning forward to rub his back. Jameson could feel the urge to want to cry again. It didn't take long for his eyes to fill with tears again.

[The nurses had to operate ]

Jameson wrote, struggling to write much more. Memories of the surgery began going through his head...

{The pain of getting his throat skin pulled aside with retractors, hurt for multiple reasons. Not only was the after pain of the scalpel's cut still hurting him, but the painful feeling of the retractors separating and stretching his skin! It was enough to make tears run down the sides of his eyes!}

[They...cut me open without anesthetic.]

Chase's eyes widened, before his turned his head towards the pain-stricken man. "Oh my god...really? But- I thought anesthetic was around during World War 1!" Chase reacted.

[It was, but they told me after the surgery that they didn't have the time. But, even if they did, they would've chosen to do the surgery without anesthetic either way. they didn't want to risk me dying from oxygen deficiency.]

"Jesus...I couldn't imagine the pain..." Chase reacted.

Jameson let out a dry laugh. 'You don't want to. It was super painful.' Jameson signed.

{Jameson had to handle 2 entire hours of that pain. Halfway through the procedure, the doctors discovered some bad news.

"The vocal cords are too damaged...We have to remove the entire larynx." One of the nurses told her staff.

Jameson's eyes widened. WHAT?! THEY HAVE TO REMOVE ALL HIS VOCAL CHORDS?! Jameson wanted to protest! He didn't want this! He'd rather die than live without a voice! But...he couldn't tell them anything. They couldn't waste any time to look at his game of charades! They had to keep going, before an infection set in! Jameson had no choice...but to accept his voiceless fate, and deal with the sharp pain that overcame his body next...}

[They cut out everything, and sewed my trachea together. The recovery was painful, physically AND mentally. Though I got some morphine for the pain, it took me a long time to come to terms with having no voice. The only time I felt okay with having no voice, was when my career in theater started. The motion pictures were silent and replaced with orchestra music and dialogue slides, so I didn't have to speak at all. I just had to over-pronounce my lips and act dramatically.]

"Wow...so, acting actually helped you feel better about your lack of voice..." Chase clarified. Jameson nodded.

[That's right. I later went to a school for the deaf, so I could learn sign language. There was a fellow actor who joined me, and learned sign language with me, so he could interpret what I was saying for the rest of the staff.]

"That's awesome!" Chase reacted. "And when I met you at that old vintage store, I whipped out my phone and looked up a bunch of words in sign language so I could befriend you." Chase added.

Jameson laughed and scratched the back of his head. 'The sign language was a bit much...' Jameson admitted.

"Well...I didn't know. I thought you were deaf." Chase told him.

'Yeah...little did you know that I could hear you the whole time. The man behind the desk actually had to tell you that.' Jameson explained, remembering the funny interaction.

{Jameson and Chase had literally just met. Jameson was working at the local thrift store, alongside the cashier that had introduced them. Chase was a frequent visitor who decided one day, to befriend the deaf man. Chase attempted to spell out his name in sign language.

"I don't know if you realize this, but he can hear you perfectly well." The cashier told him. Chase's eyes widened, as he slowly lowered his hand.

"...Really?" Chase, speaking and signing. Jameson nodded slightly awkwardly. Chase practically sunk down on the spot. "God...that's embarrassing..." Chase reacted, utterly embarrassed.

Jameson giggled under his breath. 'Ya. I'm not deaf. I'm mute.' Jameson explained, placing his hands over his ears for 'deaf', and placing his hand over his mouth for 'mute'.

"Oh...I guess that makes things a bit easier then!" Chase said, shrugging his shoulders. "My name's Chase."

Jameson nodded. 'My name is Jameson Jackson.' Jameson signed, signing the letter J, and touching the the J's hook onto his mustache. To end it off, Jameson wiggled his lip, wiggling his mustache back and forth. Chase giggled at the mustache wiggle. It was childish and cartoon-y, but also cute.

"As you can tell, he's very dramatic." the cashier told Chase. Chase laughed at this.

"I can tell. It looks like he purposefully glued the mustache on and everything." Chase told him. Jameson spun the tip of his mustache with his thumb and index finger, before signing 'Thanks, I grew it myself.' and striking a pose.

Even though Chase didn't fully understand what he signed, he still understood what he meant quite well, thanks to the acting aspect. Chase laughed and rolled his eyes. "Show off..." Chase said with a smile.

Jameson began to feel slightly bad, so he brought the conversation back to Chase. 'Hey! I like your facial hair!' Jameson signed, signing 'facial hair' by rubbing his own cheeks and chin. 'Can I...' Jameson started, before signing the word 'touch' by bringing his hands a little close to Chase, and pretending to stroke his beard. Chase's eyes widened, backing up slightly.

"Hey! You can't just ask someone you just met, to touch their beard! That's weird! You should know better!" The cashier yelled.

'It worked with you!' Jameson argued.

"Yeah, and you're lucky I didn't punch you in the face for that!" The cashier defended.

"Hey! How could you punch an adorable bean like Jamie?!" Chase reacted, letting out his words before he regretted them. Jameson and the cashier froze. "...Besides...Jameson could touch my beard any day." Chase added, to make it less awkward. Though, all this really did, was make the situation even more awkward. Jameson could feel his face growing red, and began attempting to cover up his face with his hands.

Meanwhile, the cashier had a very suspicious facial expression. "Hey Jamie...I think we got ourselves a gay boy over here. Are you gay, by any chance?" The cashier commented bluntly, shooting him a smirk and a wink.

Chase looked over at the man. The only sound that left his mouth, was "uh..." before Jameson cut in.

'Dude! Don't ask him if he's gay! you're embarrassing me!' Jameson warned him, his face still red from Chase's comments.

"Aww! Did I embawass youuu?" The cashier asked in a baby voice. Unable to hide his already red face, Jameson could only do one thing: He put his fingers under his chin, and did a sign similarly to the sign 'thank you'...but in fact, he had just signed the words 'F*ck you' to his best friend.

The cashier gasped, before grabbing his hands and bringing them in front of him. "Such language coming from an adorable bean like you!" The cashier teased, before wiggling and squeezing his 5 fingers all over Jameson's ribs and sides. "You, my sir, have chosen a terrible time to be swearing!" The cashier teased further. Jameson bursted out in silent laughter, and began squirming everywhere he could. Chase's eyebrows raised, as his jaw slightly dropped. Jamie didn't have a laugh! I mean...he did, but not a laugh-out-loud type of laugh! His laughter was purely silent and convulsive! Chase moved himself around to get a better angle of Jameson's face. His face was priceless! Jameson's mouth was sparking a bright, toothy grin and his eyes were squeezed shut. His hands, which were being held by the cashier's left hand, were signing as many shaky signs as he could at once!

"Hey Chase! You wanna help me out?" The cashier asked.

Chase shrugged his shoulders. "Sure! I'll help!" Chase replied.

"Great! Hold his hands for me! I need 2 hands for this." The cashier told him, giving Chase his wrists. Chase undid Jameson's shirt sleeves, and held them up so Jameson's hands and wrists were hanging, and capable of signing better. The cashier had started skittering his fingers all over Jameson's ribs, sides, stomach, and even his armpits!

"Wow! You know every ticklish spot!" Chase reacted.

"Of course I do! I've been friends with this little bastard for 6 years!" The cashier admitted.

"Huh...So I guess this is a common occurrence?" Chase guessed.

"Somewhat." The cashier admitted, still tickling the man. }

Chase laughed at the silly memory. They ended up both tickling him that day. "God...And then he wanted me to believe you were over a century old!" Chase said, finishing reexplaining the story.

'Little did you know...' Jameson started.

"It was actually true!" Chase finished his sentence. "And not only that, but you're still ticklish!" Chase added, leaning in to skitter his fingers all over Jameson's belly.

Jameson bursted out laughing and curled into stop the fingers. But, Chase got up from his seat, walked behind him and unloaded his skittery fingers all over Jameson's ribs. Jameson threw his head back and laughed through a wide toothy grin. His eyes grew as wide as donuts, before squeezing shut. His squirming continued back and forth as his body leaned back against Chase's body. Chase's fingers began drilling into Jameson's ribs and wiggling deeply. This caused Jameson's squirming to skyrocket! On top of that, Jameson's hands were reached back, gripping onto the back of the chair. This left Jameson's worst spot open! That silly, naive man...

"I'm gonna do it..." Chase whispered, moving his hands slowly up the ribs. Jameson started frantically shaking the hands off of him, and signing as quickly as he could.

'Don't! Not there!' Jameson signed desperately.

"But Jamie! That's my favourite spot to tickle! I can't say no now! It's too tempting!" Chase argued, moving his hands farther up the middle of his ribs.

'Don't! Don't don't don't don't don't! Please!' Jameson begged.

"I think it's a bit too late for begs now, Jamie..." Chase said, reaching the top 3 ribs. "Because..." Chase added, wiggling his finger on the second top rib. "I reached it!" Chase declared proudly. Chase shoved his fingers into Jameson's armpits proudly, causing Jameson to drop his arms down, trapping Chase's hands in his armpits. Jameson wiggled aggressively, but nothing could stop Chase from tickling his devastatingly ticklish armpits. Jameson had begun kicking the air in front of him, occasionally hitting a wooden piece under the table. Chase was so happy that he was feeling better. Seeing Jameson's World War side, was terrifying to see. This little ticklish moment showed Chase that even if Jameson had dealt with the traumas of World War 1, he was still the Jameson they knew and loved.

Unsurprisingly, it didn't take long for Jameson to turn around and get revenge. Jameson's slithery fingers managed to sneak through his chair and give Chase a few pokes on the sides! That managed to work wonders because before Jamie knew it, Chase was lying on the ground, giggling still. Jameson took that opportunity to get off the chair, and get revenge on Chase.

"EEEK! Wait! JAHAHAHAMIHIHIE! NAHAHAT THEHEHEHERE! I'M TOO TICKLIHIHIHIHISH!" Chase reacted, falling into a newfound giggle fit.

Jameson smiled at Chase's reactions. Chase's laughter was so bubbly! It was so similar to how his own laughter sounded before the surgery. He remembered he had told his co-worker (Who's name was Terry, by the way) that Chase's laughter was almost a perfect resemblance of his own laughter! And the result? Chase ended up getting tickle attacked by him while Terry recorded it. Terry started teasing the poor man during the video, which made Chase INCREDIBLY flustered! Terry ended up emailing the video to him, which Jameson still keeps on his computer to this day. And now, he didn't need that video! He could just make Chase laugh whenever he wanted!

"PLEHEHEHEHEASE! IHIHIHI'M SAHAHARRY!" Chase shouted through his laughter.

Jameson did the puppy dog lips and shrugged his shoulders, before he lifted up Chase's shirt. "Whahahat ahahare yohohou gohonna dohoho?" Chase asked, not liking the mischievous face Jameson was giving him. Jameson pushed Chase's shirt up a little more, before taking a BIG breath in, and...

Giving the man a RASPBERRY!

Chase threw his head back and let every single breath of laughter out. "AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! STAHAHAHAHAHAHAP!" Chase's head was shaking back and forth as he begged for the man to stop.

'1 more.' Jameson signed. Before Chase could even say anything, Jameson had already taken a deep breath, and...gave him another raspberry!

"NAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! MEHEHEHEHERCY! MEHEHEHEHEHERCYYYYYY!" Chase pleaded for mercy.

Jameson's face was ecstatic! Jameson had began clapping his hands excitedly, and grinning. If he still had a voice, there most likely would've been a squeal mixed in as well.

"Whahahat's sohoho ehehexcihihiting?" Chase asked, calming down, still letting out some leftover giggles from the tickle attack.

'Your laughter sounds like mine!' Jameson reacted.

Chase's eyes widened. "Wait, what?!" Chase reacted. Jameson nodded. Chase gasped. "Oh my god, seriously?! That's awesome!" Chase reacted. Jameson smiled, looking down at the floor.

'I miss my laugh sometimes.' Jameson admitted. Chase's smile slowly dropped. what replaced it, was a small, empathetic smile.

"It's okay to feel like that. It's something you miss. I miss my kids. A lot. I wish they were still a bigger part of my life." Chase admitted. Jameson looked at Chase, and reflected his empathetic smile. It wasn't the exact same thing, but Jameson respected Chase's attempts to empathize.

Soon, Jameson laid himself down beside Chase and hugged him. Chase hugged Jameson back, feeling bittersweet about the whole thing. Together, they cuddled on the floor until the first alarm in the house went off that morning. No one knew why they were lying down on the floor near the table, why there were laptops on the table and more importantly, why there was a rifle hanging on the chair. But people started to understand everything once they read the computer notes.

They discovered a secret about Jameson. They discovered he was a sergeant in the first world war, and he did the whole thing: Walked the trenches, ate the food, and killed the foes with a rifle gun. Then, he got injured and had to get surgery without anesthetic to save his life. But it wasn't without a painful sacrifice. Not only did he lose his voice, he lost his innocence and part of his identity. If it weren't for his acting career, he may not have gotten any better.

By the time Jameson had woken up, everyone was ready to give him a big group hug. They supported him. They supported him despite the pain he went through, and they proved once again that they love him despite his lack of a voice. Besides: Who needs a voice when you have hands?

To thank Jameson for his service, everyone grabbed poppies from their rooms and put them on. They stood in two lines on either side, ready to salute him when he came out. Soon, Jameson came out in his full military gear, with his hat, his purple heart metal, and his empty rifle wrapped around him. Jameson, to end it off, put on a poppy of his own, to honor the several men who died right beside him in the trenches.

'Thank you.' Jameson signed to his friends.

"You're welcome. And thank YOU, Sergeant Jackson." Chase replied. Jameson rolled and shook his head with a smile. Jameson hadn't heard that name in decades...And surprisingly, it felt good hearing it from his friends.

[pocket-luv101]

Across Time || Chapter 10

Fandom: Servamp Ships: KuroMahi (main), LawLicht (side) Characters: Kuro, Mahiru, Hyde

Summary: Mahiru falls into a well and is taken to a new, fantasy world. He comes across a half-blooded cat demon trapped in a tree. After he frees Kuro, he helps him collect the shards of the sacred jewel. (KuroMahi, InuYasha AU)

Ch.1 || Ch.2 || Ch.3 || Ch.4 || Ch.5 || Ch.6 || Ch.7 || Ch.8 || Ch.9 || (Ch.10) ||

“We weren’t able to relax yesterday but maybe we can have a nice evening today. Let’s rent a room at the inn and have a quiet dinner. No fighting demons for us tonight.” Mahiru was a diligent person and hard worker but he needed a break on their journey. “There’s a big crowd in front of the inn. We should buy a room before they’re filled. Do you want to eat at a noodle to shop afterwards?”

They arrived in a village and he thought it would be a good opportunity to rest. Mahiru recalled the previous night and how Kuro was poisoned. He did his best to purify the venom but he couldn’t control his spiritual power well. He watched Kuro carefully for any sign of pain or lingering effects of the poison. To his relief, he appeared strong and healthy.

When Mahiru woke that morning, the demon was gone and Kuro was sleeping on his lap. He must’ve woken up before him and defeated the butterfly. Kuro didn’t tell him that he fought the demon yet Mahiru knew that was what likely happened. He decided they should use the day to recover and rest more. He glanced at his ears and thought about his wish to be human.

“It’s a little early to have dinner but we can go to a tea shop for a snack. I’m curious to see how they compare to the sweets from my time. The mochi here are likely more authentic. What flavour do you li—” Mahiru stopped walking and looked back towards the crowd. He could sense the jewel’s power. There were a lot of people so it was difficult to see who held the shard.

“What is it, Mahiru?” Kuro realized that he had stopped walking and looked back to him. He followed his gaze to the inn. From his expression, he could guess that there was a jewel shard nearby. He also knew that Mahiru was disappointed expression that their relaxing day was interrupted. He leaned down and whispered, “I don’t smell a demon so the person with the jewel shard is human. We can take it without fighting.”

“Usually, I’m against stealing and pickpocketing but this might be our best option.” He replied in a soft voice. They had to stand close to hear each other but neither of them noticed. Mahiru leaned closer to him and asked, “Does any of your nekomata powers help you steal things? Kitsunes are more known for stealing things than cats.”

“I’ve never stolen anything before. Let’s hope that my ears will scare the human enough for them to give us the jewel. We’ll likely be chased out of the village since I’m a demon.” There was a hint of resignation in his voice. Mahiru wondered how many times he had been turned away from scared villagers. Before he met Kuro, he would understand why others were afraid of him.

Yet, Kuro was one of the warmest and most loyal person Mahiru knew. He gently took his hand and smiled up at him. “We can try to buy the jewel. If that person picked up the jewel without knowing what it was, we might be able to buy it at a good price. You stay here while I find the person who has the shard.”

He felt a little lonely when slipped his hand from his. Mahiru left his side and disappeared into the crowd. While Kuro didn’t like crowds, he thought it was bearable with Mahiru. He had a comforting presence and he treated him like a person rather than a monster. Kuro hoped Mahiru’s plan would work because using force would be troublesome.

Mahiru pushed his way the crowd. A blonde man sat on a bench surrounded by women. He traced his finger over a woman’s hand and read her fortune. From his clothes, he appeared to be a monk. The man’s right hand was wrapped in a cloth and prayer beads. Woven among the beads was a jewel shard. He didn’t know if he would sell him the shard but he wanted to try.

“Pardon me,” He said and stepped forward. The man looked up at him and his red eyes seemed familiar to him. Mahiru was certain he never met the monk before. He brushed off the thought and focused on buying the shard. “That’s a beautiful rosary you have. My uncle is a monk as well and I would love to give him a set. May I buy your prayer beads? I will pay any amount you wish.”

“I will no sooner part with these beads than I would my life. This is a precious gift. Would you like me to read your future though?” Mahiru didn’t answer him immediately. He debated if he should return to Kuro or press the monk more. While he was distracted, the man abruptly took his hand and tugged him forward. He stumbled onto the bench next to him.

Mahiru stiffened when the man whispered into his ear, “You smell like a certain cat I know. Haven’t you heard that black cats are bad luck? Even if the cat seems lazy, it’s a dangerous demon.”

The man’s words immediately made him think of Kuro since he was a cat demon. His nervousness made his voice shake as he stumbled for a response. He hastily stood to escape his red eyes that now held an angry fire. He held onto his hand too tightly for him to leave and his grip made him wince. Mahiru realized that the monk had claws similar to a demon. “Who are you?”

“Let go of him, Hyde.” When the voice came between them, the monk let go of Mahiru’s hand. A protective arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him into the safety of Kuro’s embrace. Mahiru looked over his shoulder to see Kuro standing behind him. His expression was similar to the hurt and regret he had when he faced Tsubaki. The pieces fell into place and he realized that Hyde was one of his seven siblings.

A tense atmosphere grew between them and Mahiru heard the villagers start to murmur. They knew that he was a demon but they weren’t certain if he was dangerous or not. The crowd backed away from them cautiously. Only Hyde stayed in his seat. “I was on my way to the ancient tree to see if the rumours were true. It’s lucky that you saved me the time and trouble, Nii-san.”

“Are you Kuro’s brother?” Mahiru stepped between them. There was a quiet anger in Hyde’s voice but he believed he could talk to him. He didn’t immediately attack Kuro like Tsubaki. Hyde appeared to be human and he didn’t have ears like Kuro or Tsubaki. “You two haven’t spoken in decades. Would you like to join us for tea? There must be a lot that you two need to catch up on.”

“Mahiru, this isn’t the time for tea. The only person who can hold a grudge longer than Tsubaki is Hyde. Get back,” Kuro whispered into his ear and tried to pull him away again. He faced his brother but a part of him was confused. Hyde wore a monk’s robe and he didn’t attack him immediately.

“Please, chase away the monster, Monk!” The villagers started to yell. The tense atmosphere caused the crowd to become more aggravated and violent. Thet started to hurl tiny stones at them and Kuro knocked them away to protect Mahiru.

“You foolish villagers don’t realize you’re asking a demon for protection against another demon. I recommend you run before you become causalities in our fight.” Hyde ran his hand thought his blond hair and horns grew. The villagers’ anxiousness turned to panic and they ran away. He waited until the street was clear before he started to unwrap the rosary from his hand.

“When did you become a monk?” Kuro wanted to distract Hyde so he could take Mahiru to safety.

“After I fell in love with a priestess, I promised her I would never harm humans. I don’t want to break that vow so tell your little human to run and hide. This is between us.” He warned. Kuro didn’t want Mahiru to be hurt so he tried to urge him away again. “A lot has changed since the last time we sparred. I have a new trick that will finally let me win.”

“It’s fine, Mahiru, go and hide in one of the stores. There’s something different about my brother.” Kuro extended his claws to fight him. He planned to only defend himself until Hyde became too tired to fight. Then, he could speak with him or run. He remembered the last conversation he had with his brother. Neither of them was direct with their feelings.

He expected Hyde to use his sword but he pulled his rosary loose instead. Kuro caught a glimpse of a dark circle on Hyde’s palm but he wasn’t able to focus on it for long. A powerful force dragged him forward and he struggled to keep his footing. “You’re not going to be able to resist for long, Nii-san. My wind tunnel will suck you into a void and kill you.”

“This isn’t a fair fight! Face your brother or else you’ll never understand each other. I don’t even know why you’re fighting in the first place. You’re brothers.” Mahiru yelled over the sound of the powerful wind. They both turned to where he was clinging to a door frame. He shocked the brothers when he let go of the building and dashed into the fight.

Several times, he almost fell because of the wind and flying rocks. Kuro ran to his side to save him but he was forced off his feet. Mahiru tackled him even though he wasn’t strong enough to knock him out of the wind tunnel’s pull. While Kuro desperately searched for a way to save them, Mahiru grabbed his sword. He pulled the tessaiga from the sheath and stabbed it into the ground.

Mahiru recalled how the sword created a barrier when he stabbed it into the door. He hoped that he could do the same again. The wind continued to storm around them and threatened to pull the sword free. Kuro reached around Mahiru and placed his hands on the tessaiga, transforming the sword. They used the sword as an anchor but then Hyde started to walk towards them.

With each step he took closer to him, the storm became stronger. They wouldn’t be able to hold onto the sword for long. Mahiru recalled what Hyde said earlier and echoed it, “You can’t kill Kuro while I’m here! You made a vow to a priestess.”

“Your human is loud and annoying.” Hyde wrapped the cloth and rosary around his hand again. Mahiru felt Kuro relax behind him and looked at their hands over the hilt. He realized that they were almost holding hands and he blushed. His hands were warm and strong and Mahiru didn’t want to let go of his hands immediately.

“His name is Mahiru.” Kuro corrected him. He stood and returned the sword to its sheath. “What are you doing here, Hyde?”

“Since you made me reveal that I’m a demon, I can’t visit that village anymore. They had the best tea shop and I liked their dango.” Hyde grumbled. The three were forced to leave the village and camp in the forest nearby. Kuro caught a few fish for them to eat while Mahiru cooked them. As he ate, Hyde complained. “Those villagers were superstitious and paid a lot for my sutras too.”

“You were the one who challenged Kuro to a fight.” Mahiru reminded him. He sat between the brothers to prevent Hyde from attacking Kuro again. Kuro took a fish from the fire and held it out to his brother. Hyde didn’t move to take it though. It was clear to see that there was a rift between them and that he wanted to mend their relationship. Mahiru wanted to help Kuro.

He tried to lighten the mood and keep their conversation casual. “You’re a travelling monk, Hyde. You told us that a priestess changed your views on humans. That must be an interesting story since Shinto and Buddhism are different. Did you become a monk before you met her or after?”

Hyde didn’t answer him so Mahiru tried to change the topic. “Most demons we’ve met don’t like humans and I was beginning to worry that Kuro would be the only one who wasn’t violent. The priestess must be a wonderful person for you to keep a promise to her after her passing. You and Kuro both have a human parent so you already have empathy for humans too.”

“She was. Ophelia died two hundred years ago and I’ve kept my vow to her all these years. But, you’re wrong when you said I like humans. I don’t care for them beyond the promise I made. Humans are selfish and oblivious creatures with Ophelia as the only exception.” Hyde glared into the fire but Kuro could see his grief hidden beneath his cold demeanour.

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Kuro wanted to say more but he didn’t know what his brother went through.

Hyde ignored him and continued. “Also, Nii-san is the only one of our siblings who has a human parent. I’m an oni without a drop of human blood. You must be the most clueless human I know. Didn’t my brother tell you anything about us? Father was a nekomata but we each had a different mother. He wasn’t faithful to his wives. The only thing he wanted was to see what happens when—”

“Mahiru doesn’t need to know about Father, Hyde.” He interrupted him. His voice was a little louder than he intended it to be. Hyde was shocked by his tone since he rarely raised his voice. Mahiru was surprised as well but he placed a comforting hand on his arm. Kuro didn’t turn to him but he leaned into his touch slightly.

Hyde watched their silent exchange and how close they were. He didn’t know what to make of Mahiru. Humans were scared of demons yet he tried to comfort Kuro. He also accepted that they were brothers while most would question how they were different demons.

Mahiru was the first to break the silence and said, “Kuro and I are collecting the jewel shards to keep them out of the hands of demons. I can see that you have one in your rosary. I would ask if you would give us your jewel piece. Since you’re Kuro’s brother and you have a vow to protect humans, I think we can entrust the jewel to you. We will need it back eventually though.”

“A weak human like you have no right to give me orders. I vowed to protect people like you but I don’t have to work with you. I need this jewel piece to defeat the man who cursed me.” Hyde looked down at his palm wrapped in prayer beads. “A week ago, a man approached me and asked if I would help him collect the shards. When I refused, he stabbed my hand and created the wind tunnel.”

“Was this man a spider demon named Touma?” Mahiru asked. The story he told him was similar to why the wolf clan was chased out of the mountains. Anger rose in him when he thought of how the man also targeted Kuro’s family.

“This hole in my hand will suck in everything around me. I was likely able to seal its power with these prayer beads. My wind tunnel is powerful and useful in battle but I can’t use it often. Each time I open the tunnel, it will grow bigger until it sucks me in. I don’t know when that will happen.” His hand started to tremble and he gripped his fingers to hide the way they shook. He didn’t want his brother to see his fear.

“Do you want to travel with us and help collect the shards?” Kuro offered in a hesitant voice. Hyde didn’t expect the offer but he didn’t immediately say no. “Touma is a strong demon and he already collected a few shards. It’s dangerous for you to face him on your own. You’re more likely to meet Touma again as well. He’s collecting the shards like we are.”

“I’m not the little brother who you had to protect when we were kids, Kuro.” He stood and dropped his fish into the fire. “While you were pinned to that tree, there were a lot of times I needed you but I got through them by myself. I’ll defeat Touma on my own too. After I do that, you’re next. You can’t hide behind your human forever. Humans die easily.”

“I’m sorry that your brother isn’t joining us. You must be worried about him and his wind tunnel but there’s a simple solution. Let’s defeat Touma and break the curse before anything can happen to your brother. Hyde will see how much you care.” Mahiru said confidently. Honestly, he was a little afraid to meet the spider demon since he sounded powerful. Would they be able to beat him?

“With his pride, Hyde wouldn’t be happy if we were the one to defeat Touma. He’ll be angrier after we tell him that it was for his sake. Hyde’s strong but he has a soft heart.” He sighed. “We weren’t a perfect family and our father only made it worse. But we were kids and he was the only person we thought we could rely on. He was our father, after all.”

“Your father might’ve told you that but he was wrong. You had each other. I hope Tsubaki and Hyde will see that soon and realize how much you care about them. We don’t know how long that will be but I’ll help you talk to them. I’ve been told I could be stubborn but persuasive.” Kuro couldn’t help but think of what Hyde said before he left.

Humans die easily.

He looked down at Mahiru walking next to him. He wanted to ask him why he ran out of the building but he already knew that it was simply Mahiru’s nature. Hyde wouldn’t have hurt him because of his vow yet Kuro couldn’t say the same for other demons they would face. He grew to care for Mahiru and the thought of him being hurt became heavier.

“Hyde left in the middle of the night. He didn’t steal our shards while we were sleeping and that’s a good sign. He’s honourable. We might be able to get through to him with time. Do you think we’ll meet him again?” Mahiru looked up at the clouds. He wanted to lighten the mood and pointed at the sky. “Doesn’t that one look like a muffin? I haven’t eaten one in a long time.”

“A muffin? That must be one of the foods from your time so I don’t know if you’re right. It looks more like a tree to me.” His observation made Mahiru chuckle softly. Kuro didn’t think he said anything funny but he was glad to see his smile. They continued down the road and point at the clouds. “You should be careful not to run into something while you’re staring at the clouds.”

“You won’t let anything hurt me.” He replied without a pause of hesitation. From his grin, Kuro knew that Mahiru was confident in his words. “You’ll hear someone approach and warn me. It’s amazing how strong your senses are, even if you mostly use it to avoid people. Can you smell if we’re near a tea shop or a restaurant? We didn’t get to eat a lot yesterday.”

“Am I a nekomata or a dog to you?” Kuro gave into his smile and sniffed the air. He expected to only smell the scent of the grass yet there was something else as well. “I smell a lot of ink and blood nearby.”

“Maybe an artist is hurt on the road and they need help. We should go check. Let’s go!” Mahiru urged him desperately and pulled him forward. He didn’t know where the artist could be so Kuro ran ahead of him to lead them. The smell of ink was almost overwhelming and it made him dizzy. He ignored the sensation and tracked the scent to a clearing.

They stopped in front of a small clearing. Mahiru’s hands flew over his mouth when he saw the bodies of mercenaries laying on the ground. He couldn’t imagine who could’ve killed so many men. He took a moment to pray for the men’s souls. “We should give these men a proper burial. I wonder what happened. We didn’t hear anything so the battle happened a while ago.”

“Something’s not right. I can smell blood but there’s not a drop here. Whoever did this must’ve killed these men for their blood and they’re still nearby. Earlier, I smelled ink too but I don’t know why mercenaries would carry so much. I’ll try to find the demon.” Kuro sniffed the air again. “They might have a jewel shard to kill this many people. We should… I can smell Hyde.”

“But your brother couldn’t have done this. He vowed to protect humans and his wind tunnel wouldn’t leave any bodies behind.” Mahiru saw how Kuro’s face became pale. He could read the fear and worry in his expression. They heard a loud clash in the distance and Kuro grabbed his hand. Together, they ran towards the sound. The demon collecting blood was powerful and his brother could be in danger.

The clouds darkened above them but they moved like ink spilling over parchment. Drops of ink fell from the clouds and took the form of demons. Kuro searched his memory but he didn’t know of a demon who could create life from ink. His brother was strong but the number of demons he saw could easily overwhelm any demon.

“Hyde!” He yelled his name when he saw him in the distance. Hyde was fighting with a man but Kuro could see that he was only defending himself. The man seemed weak so he should’ve been able to overpower him. He grew his claws to help his brother but his yell stopped him.

“He’s a human!” Kuro realized the reason Hyde wasn’t fighting back was because of his vow to protect humans. He tried to separate the two without hurting the human. Ink swirled around them and Kuro could smell blood mixed within it. The man appeared to be a mere artist so he didn’t know how he could control the ink around them.

He laughed and said: “With my shard, no one can defeat me. People laughed at my art but I’ll show them that they were wrong.”

“The man has a jewel shard in his ink pot. He must be using the power of the shard to create these demons. I thought humans weren’t able to use the jewel.” Mahiru drew his arrow to help fight. While Hyde wouldn’t let them hurt the human, he could fight the ink demons at least. “There were a lot of demons and he can create more. Thinking simply, we have to take the shard.”

“You two focus on the artist and I’ll use my wind tunnel on those demons. No matter how many he creates, it’ll be pointless.” Mahiru remembered how dangerous it was for him to use his wind tunnel frequently. He started to argue but Kuro was quicker. He drew the tessaiga from his scabbard and the sword grew into a large fang.

Ashes circled his sword until the blade was coated and became black. He swung the sword upwards to the clouds. The ashes on his sword became needles as it flew into the sky and pierced the demons. Kuro looked back to Hyde over his shoulder. “Don’t use your wind tunnel on the demons. The tessaiga can kill a hundred demons in one swing.”

“Fine, I’ll leave the demons to you.” Hyde said and drew his saber to fight the human.

“This will sting a little but it’ll help the cuts heal faster.” Mahiru smoothed ointment onto the small gashes on his shoulder. In Hyde’s fight with the painter, he had been hurt before they arrived. The cuts were small and he wasn’t injured heavily. Most likely, they would heal within a few days. He insisted on treating the wounds because he wanted to speak to Hyde.

“Kuro will be back with the herbs soon. You should have a proper talk with him when he returns.” He said and Hyde’s response was a curt mutter. Mahiru sighed at his stubbornness. “You made a vow never to hurt humans. Kuro also made a vow to never use his mother’s sword. He hasn’t told me the details but I know he used it to kill your father. It’s a painful memory he regrets.”

“He used it today.” Hyde retorted.

“Do you know why?” Mahiru dropped his hand and Hyde turned around to face him. “You’re his brother and you’re more important to him than that vow. In that moment, he let go of the past and saved you. You should let go of the past as well.”

“You shouldn’t tell him something like that, Mahiru.” Kuro’s voice interrupted them. He hadn’t realized that he returned and Mahiru stood. It wasn’t his place to meddle but Mahiru wanted to see the two become a family again. “Hyde has every right to be angry with me. If you’re finished treating his wounds, we should get back to the road.”

“Nii-san,” Hyde said. Even though he was the one who stopped him, nervously looked down at his feet. “Can I still accept your offer from earlier and join you guys?”

Kuro nodded and placed his hand on his shoulder. “We’ll defeat Touma together and break the curse he put on you.”

[falseroar]

Silver and Peppermint (Part 5)

((Part 5 of a fantasy AU, where Monster Hunter Abe and his reluctant partner, the DA, are trying to track down a murderous werewolf. When Abe’s questions are a bit much for one of their suspects/potential victims, it’s time to do some snooping around.

Links to Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 6, Part 7, and the Epilogue.))

Less than ten minutes later, Abe and the District Attorney stood back and watched as the paramedics rolled the banker out of his own home on a stretcher, an oxygen mask strapped across his face.

“I still think he could be faking it,” Abe said.

“Really, Abe? He could be faking a heart attack,” the District Attorney said, not even bothering to hide their disbelief. “The paramedics thought he was dead when they first got here.”

“Which proves they can be wrong.” Abe turned to follow the District Attorney as they walked away, shaking their head. “What? He just happens to have a major medical emergency right when he’s about to spill the beans on who our murderer is? Who does that?”

“Someone under a lot of stress? Look around Abe. See this?” They pointed at a glimmer above the front door, and Abe slowly realized that there was a silver pattern worked into the door frame. It was decorative, sure, but now that the District Attorney pointed it out, he noticed that there was a similar lining on the window frames, and even the door knob appeared to be made of silver. “All new too. He clearly thought he might be the next victim, and knew what was coming for him. He looked as if he hadn’t slept in days, which probably didn’t help.”

“This wouldn’t keep a werewolf out,” Abe said, running a finger over the decoration on one of the window frames. “It’s not like a salt circle for demons or iron for those people, just having silver around won’t actually hurt a were unless they touch it. This wolfsbane mixed in with the flowers might do something, if you were to accidentally chuck the whole vase into the fireplace.”

He snorted and turned around to find the District Attorney studying him, as closely as they could from the other side of the room.

“You were here last night,” they said.

There was no accusation in their tone, just an acknowledgement of the fact, but Abe still found himself speaking quickly to explain.

“Look, I know I said I would check out Garroway, but things just worked out so I was watching this place instead, and good thing it did or else we might have had another dead body on our hands.” Abe paused to consider but didn’t correct himself. After all, the paramedics seemed reasonably sure Franklin would be okay, if not in any state to answer questions for a while. “And maybe I should have mentioned the wolf, but I was a bit distracted, okay? Has nothing to do with how it got away, don’t ask about it. Okay, fine, I missed. No one can shoot straight all the time. There. Feel better?”

“I…” The District Attorney paused, a strange expression crossing their face as they tried and failed to parse just what the hunter was talking about. “I honestly don’t know what I was about to say anymore. I’m just going to look around before the butler remembers we’re here.”

Said butler had said something about calling the other members of the board and rushed away the moment the paramedics wheeled his boss out, but Abe suspected he would want to follow him to the hospital once that was done. The District Attorney was right, they didn’t have time to waste.

While they checked around downstairs, Abe eased his way up to the upper floor, aware of the butler’s anxious voice on the phone coming from one room while he checked out the other doors. There were a few pristine guest rooms and a library that looked to be all tomes large and thick enough to knock out a reader if the books weren’t boring enough to send them to sleep on their own. Franklin’s bedroom was an absolute pigsty, which Abe could respect, but the room next door not so much. It was yet another room for entertaining guests, in theory, with a pool table on one side and a drinks cabinet opposite a massive fireplace, but Abe’s eyes were drawn to the stuffed animals that littered every available surface, from the deer’s head above the fireplace to the actual bearskin thrown across the floor. There were lamps with what looked suspiciously like lamia snakeskin in the corners, and someone had even stuffed a griffin, or at least what they thought a griffin was supposed to look like.

Abe fought back a derisive laugh at the sight, knowing that he had sold more than a few pieces of his bounties to rubes like this one for ten or more times what they were really worth, so there was no telling how much he wasted on that pitiful taxidermy hoax. He turned to go but froze when he saw something out of place on one of the small tables that dotted the room.

“What do you think you’re doing up here?”

Abe jumped at the butler’s voice and fought the instinct to reach for his jacket and make sure his find was hidden from sight. “Looking for the bathroom.”

“Well you can find one at a corner store, I’m sure, but you and your associate should leave. Now.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get it,” Abe grumbled, allowing himself to be ushered down the stairs where the District Attorney was already waiting for them, hands thrust into their pockets and the picture of innocence like they hadn’t just rushed away from poking around at the sound of someone coming. “Come on, Y/N, we’ve got things to do.”

“More people to send to an early grave,” the butler muttered behind him.

“He’s not dead,” Abe said, ignoring the District Attorney’s pull on his arm. “Well, not yet anyways—”

“Not helping,” they murmured. “Abe, we should go, there’s nothing here.”

It was so hard to resist saying anything, so Abe yanked the door open and slammed it shut behind them as fast as possible just so he could answer, “That’s what you think.”

With a flourish, Abe revealed the folder he found upstairs, the Haywood logo prominent on the bright blue background.

“You’re kidding me,” the District Attorney said. “Where did you find this?”

“Where do you think?” Abe asked, jamming a thumb in the direction of the house as he handed the folder over, unable to resist a smug smile. “He just left it sitting out in his game room for anyone to find.”

“Abe, that’s…” The District Attorney sighed, pinching the bridge of their nose. “You can’t just steal evidence from someone’s home!”

“Well, considering he stole it first…”

“That’s not how this works! And we don’t know this is the same folder. Even if it was, why would he go to all the trouble of stealing it just to leave it out in the open?”

“It’s not like he expected someone to just waltz into his trophy room, is it?” Abe said, smug smile gone now that they were clearly not responding like they were supposed to. Couldn’t they just be happy for two seconds, or did admitting he had done something right bother them that much? “Who cares, the point is this is another connection between one of our dead guys and Mr. Convenient Heart Attack.”

“Which we won’t be able to use in court—”

“In court?! We are talking about a raving, murderous werewolf who’s already torn apart four people now!” Abe became very aware that the people on the street were staring now, at least those who weren’t ushering small children to walk faster and ignore the terrifying man. He made the effort to lower his voice as he continued, “The only evidence I need is which of our suspects wears fur in the moonlight, if you catch my drift, and if playing along with this whole rounding up clues song and dance is how we get there, then fine. I wasn’t about to let that folder some kid died over sit around for the butler to tidy up his master’s mess for him.”

With that, he pressed the folder into the District Attorney’s chest and stomped away in no particular direction, being more focused on making a point than what happened next. He made it as far as the next corner before the District Attorney spoke up from behind him.

“You’ll want to turn left if you’re going to see Garroway. Or are you done with this whole ‘song and dance’ now?”

Abe stopped, if only because the traffic was too busy to cross without taking his life into his hands, and huffed into his collar, head turned down against the brisk wind picking up. Beside him there was the rustle of paper, and out of the corner of his eye he could see the District Attorney struggling to look through the folder without the contents blowing up and down the street.

“Maybe you could save that for later?” he asked.

“Maybe you could stay still for two seconds,” they answered, moving to stand so that his body blocked the wind enough for them to focus on the papers.

Abe scoffed again but didn’t move. In the following silence he became very aware of the District Attorney’s presence, close but not quite touching his back. He made a show of looking up at the sky, at the street, at his watch, but the moment somehow seemed so long and too short at the same time when the District Attorney moved, speaking as they did so.

“These are financial records for Haywood’s company, but I suppose only Marcus would know if they are the same records that he took home. Lenore could guess, but from what she said I suspect she didn’t have much time to look at them last night.”

“Anything useful?” Abe asked.

“Maybe, but I’ll have to take the time to go through them thoroughly later, and not standing on some random street corner,” the District Attorney answered. “The more pressing question is, what was this folder doing in Franklin’s home? These are internal records, not something you would hand over to a banker unless you’re trying to prove your business is solid enough for a loan, but Haywood wouldn’t need that, the company was winning contracts left and right, any bank in town would be happy to invest in them—”

They paused mid sentence and glanced at the records again, that thoughtful frown of theirs appearing just as it always did when they came across something that didn’t quite fit right.

“So why would Haywood go to ‘Honest’ John when he could get a better deal from one of the banks?”

“Maybe the company wasn’t doing as well as it looked from the outside,” Abe said. “Bit off more than they could chew and couldn’t spit or swallow.”

“���Ignoring that last part, you might be onto something.” The District Attorney looked in the folder again, their mouth moving silently as they went over the numbers.

Abe thought he could watch them all day, but no sooner had that thought crossed his mind than a new gust of wind hit him, somehow weaseling its way past every layer of clothing to send a fresh wave of goosebumps across his skin. An unwelcome reminder that summer was on its way out and the nights would soon be growing longer once more.

Speaking of, at this rate they would still be standing on this corner by the time evening fell.

“You said Garroway’s place was to the left?” Abe asked.

As he hoped, the District Attorney snapped out of their reverie and said, “Yes, yes it’s not far from here. You still think it’s worth going, or do you want to drop by the hospital to slap Franklin with a piece of silver?”

“Not saying we can’t do both,” Abe said and thought he saw a twinge of a smile on the attorney’s face before they turned away. “Besides, nothing wrong with being thorough.”

Especially not with loose ends hanging. It was a werewolf that had chased Lenore and the roommate out of the apartment last night, but even Abe found it hard to believe a werewolf would decorate their home with silver and wolfsbane, much less put a door knob on their very own front door that they couldn’t use. No, as much as he hated to admit it even in the privacy of his own mind, the District Attorney was right: Franklin was afraid, so certain that he would be the next victim he came close to beating the murderer to the punch.

So how did he come to have the folder? Was it an insurance policy of his own? Did he think it would help him any more than it had the poor clerk who had it last?

((Thank you for reading! Sorry there wasn’t much in this one, but the next part would have been difficult to split after this point.

Link to Part 6.

Tagging:  @silver-owl413  @skyewardlight  @blackaquokat @catgirlwarrior @neverisadork @luna1350 @oh-so-creepy @purpstraw @weirdfoxalley @95fangirl @lilalovesinternet-l @thepoolofthedead @a-bit-dapper @randomartdudette @geekymushroom @cactipresident @hotcocoachia @purple-anxiety-blog @shyinspiredartist @avispate ))

[lemonjoonah]

Under Fire - Pt 8

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Title: Under Fire Word Count: 3K+ Rating: M Genre: Gang AU, Drama Warnings: Just drinking and swearing in this chapter. Pairings: Hyung Line x Reader (Primarily Namjoon x Reader), very slight OT7 x Reader.   Pairings (in this chapter): Suga x Reader, Namjoon x Reader 

Summary: As a child you lived among the most wealthy and powerful, after the death of your mother you were shipped off to stay with her sister. Even after finishing your education you continue to live apart from the elite, but a visit home creates an unexpected disaster. You are suddenly roped into a darker world, and who better to be your guide than the infamous gang known as BTS.

A/N: A short chapter, it almost feels like it’s an intermission between the heavy plot chapters. At this point we start to get back into other POV’s, so keep that in mind while reading. 

Chapter 8 - A Fitting Guise 

POV (Y/N)

“You’re taking me along?” Your fork stops halfway to your mouth, as your attention is drawn away from the meal in front of you.

J-Hope nods, “V tends to get hyper focused while shopping for electronics. While he is at it we can help you get whatever clothes or supplies you might need.”

“So you’re not forced to wear underwear J-Hope picked up for you.” Jimin adds between bites of food.

“Deal,” you laugh.

J-Hope looks slightly offended.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with green,”  you try to reassure his kindness.

“I knew it! You’re such a pervert Hope!” Shouts Jimin.

They both earn a slap at the back of the head from Suga, who had walked in to collect the plates. “It’s to early for your antics.”

“Don’t act like you’re not bothered too.” Jimin whines.

Suga growls in response causing Jimin to hold his tongue and step back from the table.

You laugh at how quickly the subject was dropped.  “Suga you have to teach me that trick.”

“It comes from years of military intimidation, but you’re resourceful I’m sure you will find your own method to shut them up.”

The boys scowl at Suga. They whisper to each other, malicious intent written on their faces.  In a surprise attack they both leap forward on to his back. With their arms around his neck they try to force him to tap out. Suga struggles with a shout but doesn’t give in.

Namjoon walks in on the scuffle, with Jin alongside him. “That’s enough.”

Suga’s words might have scared them for a moment earlier, but it’s Namjoon’s orders that hold the true power. The three of them separate in an instant.

Namjoon and you lock eyes and then quickly look away. You had woken up in a compromising position that both of you seemed too embarrassed to admit, his hand up your shirt while your own could be found between his thighs. You try your best not to look too awkward, focusing instead on the day ahead.  “What do the rest of you have planned for today?”

“Jin, Suga, and myself are going try to make contact with VIXX. JK is staying at his desk until he finishes the security program.”

That explains JK absence, you assume this is a form of punishment for what happened last night.

While the others disperse, Jimin is quick to latch on to your wrist and start pulling you out the door. Namjoon breaks his grip, ordering him to wait outside for you with everyone else. Jimin leaves in a huff.

“Be careful today okay?”

“Namjoon I’m not the one meeting with a rival gang.”

“I know, but there were a few to many surprises yesterday. Just, stay close to them...” He reaches into his pocket, approaching the next subject with an air of hesitation, “I’m sorry we haven’t made one for you yet, but I would like if you could take this with you.”  He holds out your father's watch. “I know that it’s a lot to ask but it will help me focus more on the task at hand if I know that you are wearing this.”

Your are reluctant to reach out for it. It had saved your life before, but it’s also the watch that your father wore as he passed. The image of him tied to his chair comes to the forefront of your mind as you stare at the watch face. “If it’ll put your mind at ease I’ll take it.” He fumbles while placing the band on your wrist. The strap is far too large, but it’s the weight of the timepiece that you find burdensome.

Namjoon pulls you close and lands an unexpected kiss on your forehead. He lets out a sigh and a muttered thank you before pushing you out the door. Right into the path of J-Hope, who throws his arm around you. “Come one everyone else is in the car. RM Jimin will be on standby if you need him.”  Namjoon nods smiling at you one last time before you get into the backseat beside V.

A wide grin is set upon V’s face. Looking excited for the day ahead, he double checks a list he has up on his phone.

“Any preference V?” Jimin inquires jumping into the driver seat.

“Yeah, head to Sindorim. I’ve been in touch with some of my old suppliers. I should be able to meet up with you easily from there once I am done.”

“I don’t think that I will take that long.” You aren’t a fan of shopping, often find excuses to rush through the process.

“Ha! You’ve never been shopping with us before. Besides I need to get my say in too, so be sure to take your time.”

J-Hope wears a concerned look on his face. “V these suppliers, are they from the same vendor that you used before you joined us?”

“Yep, the best in the business.”

“The same people that sold information that allowed you to get caught?!” Hope fumes.

“Me getting arrested at the museum wasn’t their fault, and I got off didn’t I?”

“You know I’m not talking about the museum job...”

You had wondered about V’s past since he took you to the bank. You can’t help but ask your own questions, “Who else caught you, what was the other job?”

V smiles sheepishly before answering, “Your father.”

You do not expect that, the blatant surprise and confusion is written on your face as V continues to defend himself.

“If anything that whole operation was a trap. He was looking to employ someone with my skill set, and knew my résumé word for word. Purchasing the most tempting bait and paying off my suppliers was all it took to ensnare me. I had no idea he would be waiting for me the second I laid my hands on the frame.” He chuckles as if remembering a fond memory.

“Which leaves those dealers open to corruption,” Hope reiterates.

“It was Park who bought them off, they couldn’t say no when he owns the whole block. He even proved to them he didn’t want to get me arrested.”

“I’m still not sure I like the idea.”

“Even if it was about the money, they know that a descendant of Park could easily out bid anyone looking for information.” V concludes. He’s right of course, you would pay any amount to keep sensitive data out of the hand of others.

...

After dropping V off at the market Jimin and Hope drag you to the nearest clothing store. You go in a dressing room with only a handful of items but the boys keep hanging more and more over the top of your door. At several points during your trip, you feel like you have the whole store inventory in your room with you.

Jimin’s style choices seem very feminine, almost too cute for you. Whereas J-Hope is more casual handing you jeans and sweaters. Your style definitely aligns with  Hope’s more you can see why they sent him out to get you clothes in the first place. Although you do end up getting a few of Jimin’s suggestions too, thinking his heart might break if you didn’t. There’s a trip to a store with more business attire as well as a beauty store, and a lingerie store which they gratefully waited outside of.

When you come back V is waiting among them empty handed. “They are going to deliver all of the stuff tonight to a drop off point near the townhouse. What do you guys have left to get?”

“I think that we’re pretty much finished.” You look to all the bags in your hands unable to think of anything else you need.

J-Hope shake his head, “Still have to get her something for evening events.”

“Excellent you’ve saved the best for last.”

“To Gucci?” Asks Jimin with a playful smile

The excitement is palpable as they pull you into the last store. V tows you along with him. As employee follows along behind taking the dresses he grabs from the rack. He then proceeds to the men’s section piecing a suit  together while holding several tie options to the dresses he’s picked out. J-Hope was eager to add to the dress pile after holding each one of them up to you. Jimin is debating his own shirt choice asking an assistant to help him with his decision. You find it odd to have people faun over what you wear, but if your standing is important, your appearance would need to match.

You are pushed into a fitting room along with an employee. She makes no mention of the bandage in your shoulder, but takes care in helping you in and out of the ornate dresses.

You step out in the first dress a hugging black velvet, floor length gown. V is also in his own choice to compliment your outfit. J-Hope holds up his phone, you can only assume he’s taking pictures.

“Is that really necessary?”

“What? Jin messaged asking for pictures.”

“I’m sure that they will be saved to your camera roll too.” Jimin teases.

J-Hope has no defense, choosing instead to ignore Jimin.

V puts an arm around you posing for the next photo holding two fingers in the shape of a V right below his eye.

The dress up game plays for a while, each of them taking a turn for a photo op. You did not expect them to have such strong opinions on fashion as they do. V is without a doubt the most blunt, immediately pushing you back into the dressing room when you came out in something not to his taste. By the end you are absolutely exhausted. Spending more on dresses than you did for 5 years of rent at your old apartment. You feel a surge of guilt as you hand over your card, the past you would have condemned this whole trip.

J-Hope stops beside you as the the employees hang everything in garment bags, “Wait I didn’t see you try on these.” He points at a few gowns being packed away.

“Nope, they’re my secret weapon.” You laugh, “they looked so good i didn’t even need to question them.”

“The element of surprise is an effective weapon, I hope you don’t intend to use them against us.” He quips back.

“That depends if I need to, never hurts to have ammo on hand.”

He mocks a pained look, grabbing his heart and taking a step back. His actions placing a smirk on your lips.  He then picks up your purchases and calls out the rest of them. “How about we take this one out to eat guys, the delivery is still going to be a while.” He turns back to you, “What do you feel like?”

The mention of food helps to push your tiredness aside, allowing you to focus on your empty stomach. “Something low key would be great. Just a hole in the wall where I can stuff my face.”

V had on his wide smile, “J.J.’s?”

...

It’s a small bbq joint, nothing fancy but the second you step in the restaurant you are hit with mouth watering smells from the kitchen. The owner greets them all with a sense of familiarity.

As you seat yourselves J-Hope is absorbed with his phone again taking a picture of the grill. “I’m sending an update to Jin.”

“Response in 5...4...3..” V counts down.

J-Hope’s phone vibrates. “Too slow V never underestimate Jin’s food radar.” Jimin states matter of factly.

The food comes out quickly to your delight. “They are on their way. I guess we better order more. Think you’ll be able to keep up Fire?” Hope askes as he orders more soju and beef.

“Don’t worry about that.” You answer placing the beef on the grill.

Your are pouring each other more drinks when Jin, Namjoon, Suga and JK roll in. Namjoon speaks to the owner for a few minutes before sitting down. Despite being 20 years Namjoon’s senior he paid him the highest respect, more than one typically would for a customer. They laugh together and part, Namjoon pulls a seat up next to you. You can’t help but smile at him after the entertaining day you had... and the few shots of soju.

“Any luck today?” You ask not wanting to be specific in a public location.

“Yes and no, but that’s business for another time. Right now I could really use a drink.”

His eyes brighten as you pour him one.

“Sounds good we could all use some time to unwind.”

You make a move to pour Jin’s drink but Namjoon grabs the bottle and pours it himself.

Jin doesn’t notice the switch. While his eyes dart through pictures his phone, he directs his voice to J-Hope in anger. “How could you let her wear something as revealing as these dresses. What do you think she is an idol?”

“Well for our goal to work she kind of needs to be. Younger public figures aren’t far from idols in the eyes of the people.”

Jin can not disagree, only responding with a hushed swear as he continues to scroll through pictures J-Hope sent him.

You are making another lettuce wrap as Jimin chimes in. “I don’t think that idols eat this much.”  There is silence all around as he taunts you, they all look to him as if he has just spoken his last words. You stuff the wrap into his open mouth before anyone else can respond.

“Oh, that wasn’t for me. I just wanted to see if I could fill those chubby cheeks of yours.” He slowly begins to chew to the chorus of howls around him. Suga claps you on the back unable to stop laughing. You grab another piece of lettuce and start to fill it, no one commenting on your appetite.

The shots of soju continue. For every drink you serve Namjoon his smile grows, but he still won’t let you pour for anyone else. Suga is the first one to realize what was going on, or at least to call him out on his shit. “Yah! She’s not here to serve you RM!”

Namjoon concedes not giving a reason for his behaviour but eyes your hand darkly as you pour a drink for Suga.

Once the food is consumed the only thing that keeps your hands busy is the alcohol. The stories begin to flow as quickly as the liquor. Jin’s reenactments are especially dramatic he has everyone at the table keeling over with laughter. Stories of Namjoon’s clumsiness or JK’s shyness seem to win outright on response.

You can hardly find breath as he tells of an operation where a target that was supposed to be falling for Jimin liked JK instead. Leading Jimin to talk JK through an entire date over an earpiece to get the information they needed. Or the time RM broke an expensive vase while attending a Gala with your father.

Jin manages to squeeze in several strikes depicting how much of a rebellious child you were growing up. Narrating the time you cut off all your hair, and pretended to be a boy so you could help your father with his work. Jin falters as he tells the end of that story, realizing you had gotten your wish, but at what cost?

“I bet she looked really cute with short hair.” Hope muses bringing back the lightness to the conversation.

“Nah, she looked too much like her father.” Jin laughs with everyone joining in.

POV  Suga

Those who arrived before us are definitely feeling the effects of the soju.

Hope is passed out against V who is singing drinking songs along with Jimin. I watch as you struggle to keep your eyes open. RM also noticing this pulls you closer to him your head now on his shoulder.   

I finish off the last few sips of my drink. “We should probably get these drunkards to bed.”

None of us are in any shape to drive but the apartment was only a few blocks away. RM makes a move to carry you.

“Hold on a minute God of Destruction. Who has the steadier hand?” Namjoon tilts his head and narrows his eyes not understanding my question. I rephrase myself sparing him no dignity.

“You should carry someone who is less likely to give a shit when you drop them you klutz.” I point over to V and Hope. Jin lets out his squeaky laugh as JK holds a smile. Surprisingly RM takes it all in stride snapping his fingers and pointing in agreement. He helps place you on to my back, your face nestles into my hair. JK hoists up Hope, RM and Jin supporting the flailing V and Jimin respectively.

Looks like I got the easiest of the bunch. JK and I lead the group back. RM and Jin are struggling to hold on to the others and  start debating whether or not to abandon them in the bushes on the side of the road. I feel a slight movement from you on my back.

“Mmm...Why are we moving?”

“I’m taking us home, go back to sleep.”

“Suga,” you giggle, “You’re so nice.” You bury your face further into the crook of my neck. “Why do you always pretend to be a such scary guy?”

“Hey, I am scary!” I shout back. I chide myself for not think of a better rebuttal.

You aren't phased in the slightest, instead you tap the tip of my nose with your finger. “Ha! No you’re not you just pretend to be... why though that’s the question...”

“Someone has to be.” I answer back surprised at my honestly.

“Suga, you don’t have to be scary to keep those you care about safe.”

I pause on the sidewalk stunned. Fortunately JK has gained a bit of ground, leaving us alone between the two groups, so no one could have heard what you said.

“No, but it helps.” I whisper. How could you read me so well. I suppose I shouldn’t be so surprised after you had call out RM’s plan at the shooting range. Hearing you call out my pretense though is baffling, I don’t wish for anyone else to see past it. For some reason it doesn’t bother me that you could. But now I’m plagued by the idea that maybe I want you to see past the guise.

You are silent again just as we reach the door. I can feel your deep breathing on my ear. We take the stairs slowly as you hold on tighter.

I sit you on your bed, but you continue to cling. “Come on Hellfire time for bed.” Exhausted myself, I lay down on my side figuring you would loosen your grip eventually. In the meantime I continue our conversation, for some reason telling you things I had never told anyone, not knowing if you are actually listening.

“Your father needed someone intimidating on the team. Someone who could take care of a threat in the blink of an eye and then disappear. I became that ghost. To keep them safe... to keep you safe I have to be terrifying.”

“My friendly ghost,” You giggle lightly.

“Aishh, I knew you were awake. Let go and let me go to bed.”

“Nope you’re so warm, why would I let my blanket go when I am trying to fall asleep?”

“So now I’m you blanket?”

“If I recall you used me as a pillow the other night.” You cuddle in closer, “Who knew you were so soft?”

I scoff at the double meaning, but give in to your demands “Fine, but not one word of this leaves the room.”

[inadaze4ever]

Satisfied - Sanders Sides AU - Parts 4-5

It’s been 5 months and I’m finally updating this lol

Parts 1-3: https://amber-daze.tumblr.com/post/176568470119/satisfied-sanders-sides-au-fic-parts-1-3

Summary: After the events of the Winter’s Ball, Virgil and Roman haven’t been totally away from each other. Until now, when Roman wants to propose to Patton.

Pairings:  Prinxiety, Royality, (Past) Logince, Analogical

Warnings/triggers: (Chapter 4) Cheating, homophobic family mention (Chapter 5) panic attack, small injury (bruise), drinking mention, clubbing, mention of sexual harassment/assault (in general, not involving any characters),  homophobic family mention let me know if I missed something!

Word Count: (Part 4) 906, (Part 4.5) 251 (Part 5) 1592

Tag list: @olivey-oily @dailyanalogicaldoodle @kenapiece-main@dailypattondoodle @dailyvirgildoodle @fandersfic-prinxiety@fandersfic-virgil @fandersfic-roman @fandersfic-royality @fandersfic-patton

Chapter 4

Virgil smiled whenever Patton rambled on about Roman. Whether it be Prince’s latest role onstage or some mundane everyday thing, Patton talked about it in the brightest colors. Roman’s cocky smile and flirtatious eyes flashed before Virgil everytime, echoed by his soft, deep voice that sent shivers down Virgil’s spine and lured him into the ocean depths. Patton was teasing Virgil, tempting him to steal back what he’d found. But Virgil kept smiling, entertained by the visions of another reality—but letting Patton have it for himself.

Today was a day the Virgil always looked forward too. Usually, when Patton and Roman were together, they were on a date or just hanging out in public. But once in a while, Patton could convince his boyfriend to come over for a movie night. Virgil had just finished his eyeliner when the doorbell rang. “I’ll get it!” He called.

He rushed down the stairs, his long skirt billowing. His socked feet spun across the polished wood floor, and with a quick movement of the wrist, there was Roman—the real thing, not a ghost of what could’ve been. Virgil felt delicate hands on his wrists, and he was pulled out onto their small porch. A fall breeze barely tinted with warmth reminded Virgil of how long this had been going on. Eight months. Only eight months since that Winter’s Ball.

“Virgil…” Roman whispered in his ear, after nipping at it.

He tried not to melt against the wall, “Ro…”

Roman’s hands moved from his arms to his waist. Now free, Virgil’s hands migrated to Roman’s hair. Their eyes met, Roman’s ever-burning fire threatening to consume Virgil. Roman leaned in as he always did, knowing Virgil hated making the first move. Their mouths knew each other enough, but yet their lips were desperate. A few moments had passed and they stopped, Roman struggling to meet Virgil’s gaze.

“Virgil…” He repeated, this time a bit more pleading.

Well, that can’t mean anything good, Virgil thought, pushing Roman off of him, but still grasping both his hands, “Yeah?”

Roman was still staring at here the door frame met the porch, “We—we can’t keep doing this.” He shook his head, the places where Virgil’s hand had left a mess falling back into place. Roman’s eyes looked at Virgil again. No longer were they full of fire, but with a small, flickering flame. “I want to propose to Patton.”

Virgil’s grip on Roman’s hands—on the world—loosened. He had known that this was coming. Hell, he had been surprised when they hadn’t gotten married two weeks after they’d met, but still. Maybe he had been ignoring the signs, Roman asking what Patton’s ring size was, Patton asking their parents when they wanted to meet Roman and such. Virgil had hoped, perhaps naively, that Patton would’ve told him and been the one to propose, thus giving Virgil time to distance himself. Alas, he’d forgotten that Patton shared his own sense of hesitation and that Roman was much more impulsive and—as his name implied—the more romantic one. Yes, Patton often surprised his boyfriend with how much of an amazing gift giver he was, but Roman had a flair for the dramatic, extravagant planned gestures. Virgil rejoined reality and sighed, knowing that he couldn’t take back what he’d given up those million years ago.

Fully letting go of Roman’s hands, and immediately missing the warmth, Virgil looked him in the eye, “You have my blessing.” His resignation was palpable, but so was Roman’s.

Roman gently took Virgil’s hand and kissed it one last time, “Thank you.”

“No problem.” Both he and Roman knew that was a lie. “Now,” He took his hand back, and folded it in front of him, “Do you have a ring?”

“Oh!” Romans face lit up, and Virgil knew he had made the right choice. Roman reached into his jacket and pulled out a black box. Roman took the delicate, yet still sizable, ring out and placed it on Virgil’s finger. He smirked at Virgil’s glare, but Virgil ignored him and studied the piece. As he shifted his hand, light refracted in the glimmering stone, casting dazzling rainbows across the walls.

Virgil tried to ignore his screaming heart. The stone was definitely genuine diamond, because Roman would not go for anything less. The same logic lead to the conclusion that it was most likely also twenty-four karat white gold. The cut and design was rather simple and generic, just a brilliant heart cut that was maybe two karats with two smaller round brilliant cut diamonds on either side. It was very beautiful, and very Roman. “It’s a nice ring, but you didn’t have to go all out, Patton would take a ring pop.” Virgil handed the ring back to Roman.

“I know, but this is my family’s, and they…” He ran his hand through his hair, “they don’t accept me. But they know it would be good for them if I marry Patton. So they’re comprising and said that if I used the family ring and he said yes, they’d be okay having a—y’know—in the family.”  

Virgil didn’t know how to respond. Roman didn’t talk about his family much as to not worry Patton, but Virgil had heard countless rants about them. He cleared his throat, “Want to go inside? Patton’s waiting.”

“Oh, right. Yeah,” Roman swung the door open, bowing, “Ladies first.”

Virgil curtsied, knowing that this would be the last time.

Chapter 4.5

Patton squealed, the ring was so pretty and sparkly! But Roman shouldn’t have gone all out, a ring pop would’ve done, he knew that Roman loved him. “Roman…” Tears welled up, “ YES! I… but—you didn’t have to spend so much…”

Roman kissed his newly bejeweled hand, “It was nothing, love.”

He looked at Virgil, who had an amused smile on his face, or at least Patton thought that’s what it was. He was really good at telling people’s emotions; but Virgil had always been difficult to read, even when they were kids.

A sudden ding! interrupted the sweet moment. “The cookies are done!” Patton exclaimed, his worries slipping away as the warm scent of melted chocolate wafted throughout the room.

“Let me get that for you, Pat.” Virgil said, walking to the kitchen, “I’ll let you two talk for a minute.”

Patton hugged him, “Thanks, Virge.”

He smirked, “Just don’t expect me to leave any for you two.”

“Aww…” Patton said as Virgil left.

Roman put his arm around him. “So, dresses or suits?”

“Hm,” Patton leaned into his shoulder, “I’ll ask Virgil what would look best.”

Patton giggled as Roman softly kissed his forehead. Then again, and soon Patton was being covered in kisses. Roman picked him up bridal-style, spun him, and they moved to the chair. Patton curled up on Roman’s lap like a cat, his head on Roman’s chest. Roman gingerly put his lips to Patton’s ear, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Ro.”

Chapter 5

Virgil winced as the gooey chocolate singed his tongue. What a metaphor for today, he thought dryly. He absentmindedly glanced at the package of chocolate chips; it read “bittersweet cocoa”. Yep, the cookies were definitely mocking him.

It was hard to be mad at Roman or Patton as he watched them be goofy idiots in love through the little outlook in the kitchen. They were just as in love as they had been since the beginning, which was impressive because so many relationships died after six to eight months. The brain would build up a tolerance to the endorphins after about that time, and the partners would take that to mean they had “fallen out of love” because they didn’t get the same rush of puppy love. Or, at least that’s what Virgil had learned in one of his classes. He’d never been in an actual relationship long enough to test it—his little tryst with Roman didn’t really count.

Virgil put the rest of the cookies in a container. Heading upstairs he called to Roman and Patton, “I’m going out tonight. You two have fun—but not too much.” He could hear Roman’s sputtering all the way to his room, but he didn’t really care.

Virgil could barely think. Out, the word echoed around his mind. I need to get out of here, he managed to form a complete thought. His swishy skirt felt odd and uncomfortable. He threw open his closet, shoving the dresses and skirts to the side and focusing on his “normal” clothes.

It had been a while since he’d gone to a club. Yeah, clubbing sounded fun. Virgil shook his head, trying to focus on what to wear, he needed to get out of this skirt. He threw black ripped jeans and a flurry of shirts onto his bed. Virgil surveyed the options before grabbing a grey tee with some sort of circle design on it. He put it back into the pile, suddenly unsure of what he was doing.

The walls of his room seemed to close in. His vision went blurry, static black dots consuming his eyes. The desperate gasps of air he was making sounded muffled, like he was underwater. Pressure built, he couldn’t breathe or think or see. His arms flailed as he tried to grab something, anything. His hand hit solid wood, sending a jolt down his nerves and clearing his mind enough for him to realize what was happening. Breathe. He commanded himself. In, one, two, three, four. Hold. One, two, three, four, five. Out. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

He repeated the breathing exercise for a few minutes until he could see and think again. It had been a while since he’d had a panic attack that bad—almost eight months.

Virgil sighed and pulled himself off the floor, wincing when he put pressure on the soft part of his hand. A bruise had already begun to form. He ignored the sharpness and grabbed some tight, torn, black jeans from the mess on his bed. He often shifted between feeling more comfortable in “masculine” clothing and “feminine” clothing, but he was feeling an odd rush back to his punk/emo days. He would go out to clubs that either didn’t care about age or that he could bribe and when he walked in, he was anyone. Even though the crowds were crushing and he couldn’t breathe, he had always felt weightless. And that wasn’t to mean he was drunk or high, he’d barely sip on beer before joining the throng, it was just everything and nothing. Virgil couldn’t remember anything too interesting or specific about those times, yet images or him making out with guys, sometimes girls (although those weren’t ever as fun), and even some non-binary people played in his mind. Eventually, his parents found out, but they only wanted him to be safe and set a good example for Patton. Not that Patton needed it.

He paired a nice grey t-shirt with a faded band logo with the jeans, and grabbed the leather, almost moto-style, jacket that he used to always wear. He smudged his eyeliner a bit and put on a simple earing from his dresser. Virgil looked in the mirror, feeling a lot more comfortable now.

Almost like someone completely different.

Virgil walked back into the living room, knowing he wouldn’t be able to avoid seeing Roman and Patton again. Patton was practically on his lap, giggling. And their parents had thought Virgil was the one to worry about.

“Woah, someone took a trip back to 2007,” Roman said, not totally unflirtatiously.

Virgil fiddled with the chain on his belt loop, “That’s what I was going for.” He snatched his keys from the hook by the door.

“Be safe, V!” Patton called.

“Alright. Love ya, Pat. Roman.”

Virgil practically ran to his car, and soon enough “I Write Sins Not Tragedies” was blaring from his speakers. He pulled into the parking lot of the nearest club, showed his ID and danced.

Dancing was Virgil’s favorite thing to do. It didn’t matter if it was waltzing at a ball, spinning in a choreographed rhythm on a stage, or grinding at a club. It didn’t matter if he was alone or in a mosh pit. It was his scene.

Ugh, Patton’s puns were rubbing off on him.

The thing with dancing was, for Virgil, it was ethereal. Time passed completely differently. Not in minutes or hours, but in melodies and beats. He had no idea what time it was when he sat down at the bar to catch a breath.

“Do you want a drink?” The bartender asked.

Virgil waved his hand dismissively, ‘I don’t drink, but thank you.”

The bartender laughed. There was something about it that Virgil couldn’t describe. It was like flowers growing through concrete. “You are one of the smarter ones then—and I do not call people that lightly. I hate watching as men, although they hardly act like it, get a girl intoxicated to take advantage of them. It is disgusting, but it comes with the job and the best I can do is call an Uber for the poor girl after he pushes too far.” He sighed, and pushed up his glasses. “I clean up more than broken bottles.”

“People suck.” Virgil agreed. “Why do you work here then?”

“I do not know, to be honest. I do not need the money, my family has wealth enough even if I did not have a scholarship. I just needed something to do with other humans, but social conventions have never been my preferred way to socialize. I have been trained in them since I was young and, quite frankly, they bore me.”

“I feel ya. Although for me they’re more stressful than anything. But sometimes I can look at it like a game, and it can be amusing.” Virgil wondered who this guy was, if he was wealthy too then he might know this mysterious stranger.

The bartender smiled. “That is true. People are mind-boggling yet so easy to predict.”

“What’s your name?” “Logan.” He paused for a second. “Crofters.”

Ah, the Crofters family. They owned several brands, including a jelly brand. They were even more successful than Virgil’s family, but Virgil didn’t know they had an heir his age.

“I’m Virgil Sanders.”

“Sanders, really? What brings you here? I’m sure you could’ve chosen any amount of balls or celebrity parties to attend.” Logan’s voice was teasing. It almost sounded like Roman’s.

“I decided to let my brother and his new fianceé have a night away from me.” He replied, knowing that the headlines would be out within the next week.

“I was not aware that you had a brother.”

“Many people aren’t, for some reason. He’s adopted and only a year younger than me. I’m surprised there hasn’t been much gossip since he’s Roman Prince’s boyfriend. Well, now fianceé.”

“I’m surprised I didn’t hear that either. Our families have a long past. And so do him and me.”

Virgil paused, remembering something that Roman had told him. “Wait, were you his first boyfriend? The one that he got caught with by his family and why they almost disowned him?”

“Yes, and, unfortunately, yes. It was not my fault that he decided to be careless when I pleaded with him to be more careful. Afterward, he refused to contact me even after I apologized. And I know it wasn’t on his parents’ orders, either.” Logan looked away from Virgil. “Is he okay?”

Virgil was silent a moment, carefully choosing his words, “He’s… He’s grown, I think, since that. He’s rash, and very grandiose, but he knows when he’s made a mistake, and he will try to fix it. He’s getting better at slowing down before he crashes.” Like stopping our… our thing before proposing to Patton.

The tiniest bit of sadness, but also relief, entered Logan’s voice. It was like a taut rope. “I am glad to hear that.”

Virgil looked at his phone, it read 1:00 am. Patton would either be asleep or awake watching Disney movies with Roman.

“Would you… would you like to exchange phone numbers?” Logan asked.

“Oh, yeah, sure.” Virgil looked at him with a smile.

As Virgil drove back home, he felt oddly peaceful. He checked on Patton, who was curled up in a ball in his bed and had one thought before falling asleep himself. Maybe this isn’t the end of my world after all. Maybe it’s a new world, And it’s beautiful.

[taronfanfic]

ABER

Masterlist

Chapter 5

Following Taron into the bar was nerve-racking. It felt like everyone turned to look at you to see who you were and what you were wearing. This definitely wasn’t your scene. You copied Taron, taking a glass of champagne from the tray the waitress was holding and taking a large sip, hoping the alcohol would give your self-confidence the boost it desperately needed. Taron moved further into the room, smiling confidently and casting warm hello’s at everyone he passed on the way. You followed closely behind and kept your head down, avoiding making eye contact with anyone in case you were accidentally drawn into a group conversation without him.

“Hey! Great to see you again, thanks so much for inviting me down tonight!” Taron greeted the film director who was dressed casually, unlike everyone else in the room.

“Glad you could make it, and bring a friend too.” The director looked over to you and reached out to shake your hand.

“This is Y/N, she’s a very old friend of mine who is accompanying me for a few months and writing some pieces for her blog along the way.”

“Hello.” Was all you could offer as you shook his hand quickly and then returned to your drink, mentally cursing Taron for making you sound better than you actually were.

“You’re a blogger? How fantastic. What sort of things do you write about?” He asked with interest.

“Oh, erm… I’ve only just started really so I don’t think I’ve found my niche yet. Anything and everything.”

“Right, right. Well best of luck with it!” That was that, the conversation moved very swiftly back to Taron, the film, friends and colleagues they had in common. From the sounds of things Taron didn’t need to be doing any schmoozing, he was well in there! You finished your drink and got hold of a second glass, enjoying your position in the dark corner of the room and how it gave you the perfect vantage point for people watching. Picking out the +1’s was easy; there were the bored husbands eyeing up the waitresses, the even more bored girlfriends who were just there for the photo opportunities, and then there was you, mentally writing a truthful blog post about how events like these are a pretentious waste of time.

“See, told you it wouldn’t be that bad.” Taron returned his attention to you as the film director was distracted with a new arrival, but you didn’t get him to yourself for long.

“Taron! Long time, no see.” Another random man appeared and pulled Taron in for a hug. “How are you doing?”

“Yeah man, I’m good, things are good. This is Y/N, she’s travelling with me for a few months whist she works on her debut novel.”

“What!?” You almost choked on your champagne as Taron introduced you with a line of utter bullshit. He gave you a wicked smile as the man turned his attention to you and let out an impressed noise.

“Author, eh? What’s an intelligent girl like you doing with this idiot then?” He joked.

“I was in need of inspiration for one of my characters who’s a bit thick between the ears and Taron was the first person who came to mind.” You replied, feeling pleased with your comeback and casting a smug smile back to Taron.

“Oh she’s good!” He replied to Taron. “I’ve got to run, but enjoy the rest of your evening and we’ll go for a beer soon!”

“Nicely done, dickhead. You can go and get me another drink for dropping me in it like that.” You pushed your shoulder into the side of Taron’s arm disgruntledly.

“That was an impressive comeback though, get thinking of some more because this game is going to become very amusing.” He walked off to get two more drinks and you were left rolling your eyes. Of course this was a game; throw you into a conversation with no warning about what your job title might be and see if you can bullshit your way back out of it! You worked your way around the room and survived being a chef, a nurse and even the least flexible yoga instructor in the world. The more ridiculous Taron made the jobs and the more champagne entered your system the easier things became. You were well past the point of caring what people thought and genuinely enjoying the in-joke Taron had created.

“I’m gonna make you an offer.” You placed your hand to Taron’s shoulder and pulled him back from approaching the next group of people. “I’ll introduce myself this time, and if I can make you laugh with my job title and survive the interrogation about it, we can leave straight after and get back to the hotel.”

“I think that’s a fair deal. You’ve been very impressive so far, passed with flying colours in the art of bullshitting.” 

“I’ve learnt from the best.” You confidently left Taron behind and approached a group of 4 men, slotting straight into their circle and introducing yourself. “Hi, I’m Y/N, I’m here with Taron tonight” You stepped to the side to allow him to join the group. “I work for the UK Space Agency and we’re on the same fitness programme at the moment.” You looked across to Taron who was struggling not to spit his drink out.

“Oh wow, so what is it you’re in training for?” The man to your left asked straight away.

“I’ll be going up to the international space station in a couple of months.” You nodded back before casting a smug look in Taron’s direction as he covered his mouth with his hand in an attempt to stop himself from laughing. The conversation continued for another 5 minutes with you being quizzed on how this linked in to the film industry and what scientific experiments you’d be completing on the space station. Thankfully Taron jumped in to save you just as you started to get the giggles.

“Our car is outside so we’ll have to leave you to enjoy the rest of your night.” He took hold of your hand and led you out the bar, bursting into laugher as soon as you were both outside.

“The international space station!?”

“Why settle for the ordinary?” You giggled back, not letting go of Taron’s hand as you made the short walk back to the hotel.

Back in your room you slipped your heels from your feet and revelled in the comfort of the flat floor as you collected a glass of water. The top three buttons of Taron’s shirt were open as he started to walk towards you. His fingers lifted the top of the glass out of your grip and placed it down on the table. He hadn’t said anything yet and you were left watching him closely, wondering why he wouldn’t let you sober up.

“Confidence looks sexy on you.” He spoke softly and you immediately dropped his eye contact, focusing instead on the skin of his chest and the heat from his body as he moved inside your personal space. His lips pressed firmly to yours as his fingertips paused on the side of your neck and softened your urges to resist him. The feel of his mouth slowly opening had you mirroring his move, your tongue waiting to feel his and responding quickly when it did. It was so long since you’d last kissed someone like this that you were desperate to keep it going, fearful that Taron would pull away and have a face full of regret. His hand lowered from your neck across your shoulder and down your arm, taking hold of your hand and guiding it down to his crotch, making you feel his erection through his trousers. All those images of regret disappeared from your mind and were replaced with nothing but filth. He wanted you, he was ready for you, and your throbbing core was firmly taking control of your actions.

As you gripped at his length through the fabric you felt him pause the kiss, an involuntary moan filling your mouth instead as Taron started to pull back.

“Don’t you dare leave me hanging tonight.” He warned as he opened his shirt, his eyes never leaving yours.

“Which version of me would you prefer? The author, the astronaut… probably the nurse but I’m afraid I don’t have the outfit.” You teased back as you moved his shirt off his shoulders and ran your hands down his chest.

“No outfits needed for what we’re about to do…” his words stirred up a stronger fire in the pit of your stomach. You’d spent all night pretending to be anyone other than yourself but in that moment you could only be you. The wave of confidence you were riding was something else, allowing you to drop your dress to the floor in front of Taron and press your body tightly up against his as you kissed him seductively. “Get on the bed.” He ordered as he dropped his trousers to the floor and collected a condom. Eyeing up his body was instinctive as he walked round the room in his tight boxers. The champagne fuelled haze block out your negative thoughts, leaving nothing but lust and desire. You discarded your underwear off the side of the bed then lowered your back down to the mattress as Taron prowled over you. A powerful kiss to your lips matched his strong gip on your thigh as he pushed your leg further to the side so he could position his hips. Everything burnt with pleasure as he thrust into you with deliberate power. It was fast and desperate. Your body rocking against his as you let him take you from above. Groans and moans left his open mouth as he worked towards his release. There was a moment when you caught him smiling down at you, enjoying the fact that he was the one making you screw your face up in pleasure. You couldn’t help it though, he felt amazing. With every thrust your body responded, screaming out in delight. The fast pace was relentless, his hips slamming into your frame over and over as he filled your core. Your orgasm shot round your body sooner than you’d have liked but Taron didn’t seem to care. He slowed his rhythm and worked you through it with skill before coming shortly after.

“Y’know, I don’t think I fancy another night on the sofa.” You turned over to face Taron as he got into bed beside you after cleaning up.

“I’d be pretty offended if you did after that!” He reached out and pulled you in closer to his side.

“I’ve had a lot of fun tonight, thank you.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” He kissed you a sweet goodnight and you happily settled down against his arm.

Tag List: @egerton-sweetie @amanda-tallmadge @lizziespidiepridie​ @leanimal90 @anantheminmyheart22 @aynsleywalker @bohemianrhapsody86 @butterfliesslugswormsandothershi @manners-maketh-taron

[dxlanwrites]

"Old Roots" .5 (G.D)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

A/N: oooo back at it again with a new part. For anyone curious I usually update and or write a new part about 4-5 days after my last update when I feel as though the previous part has done okay and when the anticipation is at it's highest and then I drop a new update without anyone knowing. Cause im just mobbin like that also this ain't edited yet and no were as long as my other parts. Enjoy.

WARNING: cursing, violence, DeAtH?

~~~~~~~~~~~

Staring blankly into the eyes of my thought to be dead brother, I tried to wrap my head around the fact that he was standing right in front of me. Opening my mouth then closing it as I tried to speak but didn't know the right words.

"I've never actually seen anyone speechless before." Marcus said to my brother. As for Matt he didn't say anything but stare down at me as he looked my body over.

"I said not to hurt her, you know." He spoke as he walked around and neared the table behind marcus.

"She's an aggressive one I'll give you that but I wasn't the one who left those marks." He said looking down at my arms. Following his gaze I noticed that 2 large bruises had began to form on my forearm that were in a clear form of a hand.

"Was it the boy?" Matt asked with his back turned to us.

"Indeed it was. He might be just as aggressive and reckless as our beautiful y/n here." Marcus spoke softly. He stood up and took a few steps towards me stopping my side. Reaching out,he brushed a loose hair away from my face and gently caressed my cheek. Moving my face away from him, I shot him a dangerous look which only caused him to sign and return to his seat. Matt soon returned to us with what looked to be a manila folder that was thick with papers it had held within.

"Okay kid, lets just make it easy on all of us here. I'm going to show you some very important information and all I want to know is your imput. Okay? Fairly easy stuff." He said to me as he opened up the folder and shuffled through a couple papers. Stopping a one he pulled it out and turned it to face me. On this paper was just a bunch of long listed numbers along with time and dates.

"What the hell am I suppose to be looking at?" I said angrily. Matts faced hardened as he inched the paper closer to my face.

"You don't recognize any of this information?" He asked.

"No. Why would I? They're just numbers." I replied.

"They're just number? They're just numbers? NO! THEY ARE NOT JUST NUMBERS. These are very important numbers that deal with alot of money and shipments. Now look again." He said softer as he composed himself. Glaring at him I reluctantly turned to look back at the paper. Scanning line after line nothing looked remotely familar or stood out until I got at the bottom.

"These are from Graysons account." I said snapping my head up to look at Matt.

"Yes they are. And we need someone who knows how to translate these transactions to the specific day and time they are going to be delivered." Marcus said getting up.

"Wait, so let me get this straight. You went through all this trouble just so I would be able to tell you guys when and where? You two are seriously fucked up or just stupid. I don't know anything about what he's running or any information about them. The last time I ever saw anything like this was when I was 18 and I'm pretty sure he's changed quite a few things by now so I wouldn't even be able to get into the main frame to check." I said bluntly. They both stared down at me then up to eachother. Marcus let out a frustrated sigh and walked back over to the table.

"C'mon kid, if anyone could crack these numbers it's you." Matt said.

"Why should I? And don't you dare say for you because less then a few hours ago I thought you were dead. Do you even have any idea how that feels? To except the fact that I thought my big brother wasn't alive." I said as my voice cracked. Looking down at the floor, I tried to push past my emotions that almost broke through the surface. A gentle hand then lifted my face up as a calloused thumb wiped away a stray tear.

"I do know. I watched you lay in a hospital bed for days unconscious not knowing if you were going to be okay. Thinking I would never be able hear your annoying ass voice ever again." He replied.

"And now your working with the man who put me there. Nice." I said pulling away from his grasp. He sighed as he stood up and walked away. Keeping my eyes focused on his back as he stood near Marcus, I began to slowly tune out the world. Slipping into a day dream like stage, I couldn't help but think of what I would be doing right now if I never came back home. Would I be sitting back into my little nook that craddled my window in my apartment as I typed away at my laptop keyboard hoping to finish my essay that was due the next day or maybe I was out with everyone, sitting at the café a few blocks down laughing at something Scott and Maria said as we waited for our small deserts we ordered just like we did everytime none of us were busy. Maybe I was working, pissed off at something an annoying customer just said or enjoying restocking in the back with Justin. I would go for any one of those scenarios right about now instead of the reality that awaited me.

"Y/N, y/n, y/n." I heard my name being sweetly called out. Moving my head towards the direction the voice spoke I could vaguely make out a figure in the distance. My eyes focsued on it as it closed the distance between us.

"Why do you always make things so difficult." He said quietly towards me as he began to walk past me and toward Matt and Marcus who were preoccupied looking at the papers they showed me before. Staring at him in disbelief another figured zipped past me and stood directly behind the boys without being noticed.

"Interesting papers you got there." Tyler said peering over their shoulder.

"About time you got here." Marcus sneered.

"Well we got alittle... Caught up." Ethan said glacing back at me.

"Can't trust anyone these days." I said harshly.

"No you can't." He said turning his attention back the the boys.

"I did tell you to be careful who you trusted, didn't I? All of this would of went a whole lot smoother if you would of just let Ethan drive you back at the shop earlier today. He was suppose to bring you back here so we could of talked but you had other plans." Marcus said.

"Yeah and I wouldn't of gotten the shit beat out of me by your little boyfriend. Oh and thanks for the couple of swings you added in." Matt said as he shoved Ethans shoulder.

"Hey, I had to make it believable. He would have known something was up." Ethan defended. Shaking my head in disbelief, I just couldn't wrap my head around what was unfolding infront of me.

"You betrayed him. Your own brother. For what? A spot on Marcus little gang?" I asked staring him down.

"Like you haven't betrayed him. Don't try to act all innocent." Ethan huffed.

"And what do you really gain out of this?" I asked.

"Power. Money. Anything I want really." Ethan said nonchalantly. Weighting out my options in my mind, I made the choice to not just sit here and wait around to see what happens next. Im not even the type of person to give up so easily so why the hell have I been. I never take the easy route and Im not about to start now.

"Well since this soap opera seems to just carry on and on, I think I'm going to take my cue and skedaddle." I said outloud.

"Aw but why would you wanna go just as things are about to get good?" Tyler said just as the metal doors behind me slammed open. A small commotion was going on behind me followed by a few grunts and cursing. The sound of something being dragged along the floor was more prominate as the footsteps got closer. The loud sound of something heavy hitting the floor caused me to turn my head around.

"Oops sorry. You slipped." One of Marcus's men said down towards the ground. I couldn't exactly see who he was talking to because they were just out of sight.

"Leave him there. We have things to do." Matt said motioning for the men to come over. I could hear a few groans behind me as if the person tried to lift themself up.

"A sight to see isn't it boys. Brings back so many fond memories." Marcus said looking between me and the other person.

"If you want to bring back memories how bout you come alittle closer and I'll knock them into you." The voice said behind me. Marcus laughed out loud but ignored the persons threat.

"Always being the tough guy. How's that worked out for you Grayson?" Matt said as he moved towards us.

"Sure as hell pushed y/n away. Lost Ethan for awhile, even lost yourself. Maybe it's just time to throw in the towel." Matt said behind me. The sound of struggle was heard but stopped when the sound of a skin hitting skin soon was heard. Flinching at the hard noise, I tried wiggling my hands free again. Another grunt voiced out as Grayson was lifted to his feet and dragged over. He was falling over his own feet alittle and struggled to keep him weight up, which ended in him collapsing to his knees right next to me. Without warning he leaned his head to the side and placed it on my thigh. How badly I wanted to reach out and hold him.

"How cute. Like a modern day Romeo and Juliet only this time Romeo gets to witness his dearly beloved Juilet die right in front of him." Tyler said walking over to me. In one quick motion a piece of duct tape was thrown over my mouth as the back of my chair was grabbed and pulled over towards where the rest of the guys stood. Tyler shoved Grayson towards to floor as he walked by making him land with a loud thud. My chair came to a quick hault as I was placed right smack in the middle of the room.

"Let's play a little game. You see I'll ask a question and then you'll answer it. Pretty simple. If I like your answer nothing with happen but...... if I dont, poor y/n will suffer the consequences." Marcus said towards Grayson. I noticed Ethan and Tyler look at eachother with worried expression from the corner of my eye but refocused my attention on one of Marcus's men as he moved over towards Gray. He stepped behind Grayson and pulled him up into a kneeling position as Marcus crouched down in front of him. I knew they were talking but couldn't make out what he was saying over their hushed tones.

"Wrong answer." Marcus's sung out as he abruptly stood up and walked over towards me. The look in his eyes was the same exact look that haunted my dreams causing me the panic and frantically try to free myself.

"I'll make this quick." He said quietly to me as he bent down towards my ear, leaving a kiss on my duct tape covered mouth.

"Too bad. I was always quite fond of y/n." Marcus's said twirling a piece of my hair in his finger. He soon dropped my hair and reached out his hand. A man I recognized from earlier reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a gun then placed it into Marcus's opened palm. Cocking it back to load it, he took a step forward then harshly placed the barrel directly agaisnt my temple. Ethan took a small step forward but was stopped when Tyler placed a hand on his shoulder to hold him back, luckily for them this small act went unnoticed.

Graysons body was stiff as he looked on unable to do anything. As soon as I made eye contact with him the small wall that was holding back my emotions broke down as my muffled cries sounded out. Hearing the slight click of the gun as the bullet slid into place, I closed my eyes and waited for impact.

"Stop. I'll do it." Grayson said abruptly making my eyes shoot up.

"Just as I planned." Marcus's said smiling. A hugs sight of relief left my body as the pressure from the gun left my temple. I was soon cut free from the chair but still had my hands bound behind my back. Confusion rushed through me as Tyler bent down to cut the tape off my legs.

"Careful she's a kicker." He said crossing his arms as he grinned at me. Tyler took a mental note and cut me free but quickly started tieing me legs together. In one fast move he hauled me upwards.

"Take her to the room. Wait for us there. We have a important conversation with Mr. Dolan awaiting us." Marcus said.

"Maybe we could have a good time in the room. To release some stress. Always loved this ass of yours." Tyler said smaking my ass and giving it a hard squeeze.

"Touch her in anyway and I'll kill you." Graysons deep voice rang out.

"Oh but I already did touch her and I'll do it over and over as she begs for more." He said as he lifted me up over his shoulder trailing a hand up the back of my leg getting dangerously close. My muffled screams rang out as he took a step forward.

"Apparently miss princess over here hates being thrown over the shoulder. Whatever you did M really fucked her up." Ethan said following Tyler and I.

"Ethan please. Leave her alone. You already have me, just let her go." Grayson pleaded towards his brother.

"And what fun would that be?" Ethan said as he smirked down at a defeated Grayson.

"What happened to you." Gray said quietly.

"You. You happened." Ethan said harshly back. I began to thrash violently in Tylers arms but nothing was working so I decided to slammed my clenched first as hard as I could into the spine of his back which made him cry out in pain and throw me out of his arms. Hitting the ground hard, I felt my head bounced on the concrete as pain filled my sense's.

"Bro what the fuck." I heard Ethan yell as he bent down towards me. I yelled out in pain when he touched the back of my head.

"Fuck." He whispered under his breathe. I tried to move away from him but ended up moving my right arm. Stopping immediately when pain shot through it I knew I had landed on it wrong. Tears were rolling down the side of my face as the pain in my head became worse.

"Pick her up, we don't have all day." Matt shouted at Tyler and Ethan who just looked at eachother and down at me.

"Guess nows as good as a time then ever." Tyler said as he lunged at Matt while Ethan threw a punch knocking Marcus out. I could vaguely hear people cursing and things being thrown here and there as my vision started becoming fuzzy. A comfortable warmth was growing up my left side just as a slight pressure was added.

"Shh baby it's going to be okay." Graysons voice said. Blinking through the tears I could make out his lopsided smile as he looked down at me. His cheeck bone was cut and swollen, a black eye was starting to form and fresh bruises were laced around his neck. He carefully pulled off the duct tape covering my mouth.

"Gray..." I said softly as my lip quivered.

"I know baby. But everything will be okay, I promise you that. I love you y/n, always have even when we were kids. And Im so sorry. I love you." He said as he gently nuzzled my neck. I wanted to grab him and pull him closer and say I love you too but I couldn't. My mind was already slipping in the darkness that begged me to close my eyes. A new found tiredness washed over me as my eyes tried to stay open.

"You need to keep those beautiful eyes of yours open okay? Ethan has a plan. Everything will be okay soon. I love you so fucking much, just remember that." He said softly as he leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on my cut lip. His figure drifted away from me as my eyes readjusted onto the ceiling. As much as I wanted to look to see where he went I couldn't seem to move. From the corner of my eye I could see the door towards the back being kicked open with a loud bang that rattled the room. A few footsteps echoed in my head as loud sharp noises rung out. Everything around me became very loud too fast. My ears reluctantly began closing off the noise around me as the familar buzz of white noise filled my ears as my eyes slipped in and out of focus. Everything seemed to stop when the loudest bang I ever heard let out. Quietness fell over the room just as the ground next to me vibrated as if something landed on the other side of me. My gut feeling told me not to look over so I knew I had to. Taking everything I had in me I rotated my head to the right as I hissed out in pain as I applied pressure to my right arm. Laying next to me was a familar toned back I've witnessed too many times. The dark colored head of hair was looked matted in the back with some kind of dried liquid. Slowly the body was rotated over by a pair of arms. Blood gurgled out of his mouth and down the side of his cheek as he gripped the persons bicep. A pair of arms slithered underneath my back tilting me forwards slightly. I could feel myself being freed from my restrains as my arms were gently placed onto my stomach. I was fully lifted up into someones arms as they were talking to someone. They're words were coming out muffled as a louder voice seemed to yell at them.

"We gotta go sweetheart." Marty's soft words said to me. Turning my head to look back at the scene one last time, my eyes roamed over his stilled body as a few people crouched over him. I eyes rested on his face that was scrunched in pain and too pale for my liking. His hazel eyes met mine just as his neck went slack and his eyes drifted closed.

"Grayson...." I cried out quietly as I was carried away into a bright light that wrapped its warmth around me just as my eyes drifted shut with his.