#This movie's aesthetic scratches a certain part of my brain already but he's so

[heartfullofleeches]

Omg, he IS pretty....

right??

[paladin-lynx]

SquipJere Week 2020, Day 4: Mr. Roboto

@squipjerebmc’s SquipJere Week 2020 Day 4: Mr. Roboto

Ships Involved: The SQUIP x Jeremy Heere (Technical Difficulties/Squipemy/Squeremy/JereSquip/SquipJere)

Setting: Canonverse, set in the time interval between “Loser Geek Whatever” and “Halloween”.

Trigger/Content Warnings: None

Jeremy had never been one to ‘bask in the limelight,’ as they said. He wasn’t exactly content to stay on the sidelines for his entire life like Michael was, but he didn’t need to be the center of attention. It would just be kind of nice to be looked at by someone other than his best friend since kindergarten or bullies searching for a punching bag.

But he had to admit, after his first real hangout with the ‘cool kids’ had been a success, he felt like a movie star. All of the eyes on him as he’d mastered the dancing game at Dave & Buster’s had been somewhat overwhelming at first, but he’d quickly adjusted and it just felt good to be recognized, even if it was for something that he technically hadn’t achieved on his own. But even Rich, who without a doubt knew how Jeremy had danced like he was a professional to a song he didn’t even know that well on the highest difficulty on some obscure music game, had praised him and let him have his brief moment of fame.

But it was enough attention to satisfy him for a week or more and as keyed up as he was from all the interaction, it felt nice to be home. The entire scene kept replaying itself in his head – whether that was because of him or because it was the SQUIP’s silent way of saying ‘look how well you did,’ he wasn’t completely sure – and he had a bit of a skip in his step as he walked into the house. His father hadn’t even seemed to notice he was gone so there was no way he’d noticed that Jeremy had taken the car.

The rest of the Saturday passed without much fanfare, and soon enough it was Sunday. Sundays were usually Jeremy’s day to buckle down and get his homework done, and he usually didn’t look forward to it. When he didn’t want to get up from bed, the SQUIP lightly prodded at him until he did, teasing him for his bedhead and telling him that it was sure it would be a productive day.

Jeremy had never really liked doing homework. The one exception was when he was given books to read, although that heavily depended on the book. However, ever since getting the SQUIP, he hadn’t gotten much more enthusiastic about doing schoolwork but he found it much easier to focus. He knew for a fact that was because of the SQUIP’s influence – or at least, it had definitely started that way and now Jeremy wondered if maybe his focus was better because his mind had been properly trained.

And so after scarfing down a bowl of cereal – the SQUIP had been intent on him having three meals a day, something Jeremy hadn’t exactly been great about before considering he opted to skip breakfast ninety-five percent of the time – he settled in at his desk to start on the one subject that was the bane of his existence: math. Michael had always been the one who was better with numbers while Jeremy was better with words. Jeremy had been in the drama club when he was in elementary school and for part of middle school, although he never had any roles that were too notable, but it was enough to satisfy him. His adoration of Christine had only bolstered his love of theater. He’d even debated a few times over the course of his short life trying to write poetry or songs, but he’d never gotten into the right mindset for it. He doubted he’d be good at it, anyway.

But now he had the SQUIP which, as it had so proudly declared the first day he’d gotten it, was made of math. There were certain things the SQUIP would do for him, but homework wasn’t one of them. It would stand by as Jeremy worked, ready to assist, but it would never just give him the answers. It would walk him through the problems or prompts to make sure he understood how to find the solution, and of course because the SQUIP was in his brain, Jeremy would find himself understanding even if he had initially found himself lost as the SQUIP rattled off information.

And so he sat at his desk and got to work – normally he’d end up hunched over in his chair, but thanks yet again to the SQUIP that was no longer the case – furrowing his brow as he started on the various problems. The SQUIP was helping him raise his grades but he still had to put in the effort himself, because if he was suddenly a prodigy in every subject, there would definitely be some eyebrows raised in his direction. So he needed to do well, but not too well, kind of like how he hadn’t gotten a perfect score back at Dave & Buster’s. There was a balance to these things, wherein the SQUIP would step in and hold his hand to lead him down the right path until Jeremy learned well enough to see the way on his own.

Jeremy usually waited until he got through all the problems he could do on his own before he asked for help, almost like he was still a little kid going to ask his parents if they could assist him. Then again, the SQUIP would always be there as soon as he so much as thought that he might not be able to figure something out on his own. No embarrassing scurrying down to the kitchen necessary – although it was still a bit embarrassing to need help at all.

And to his pleasant surprise, he was actually getting through most of the assigned problems relatively quickly. Sure, there were a couple that had him scratching his head for a few minutes, but it just took a quick flip through his notes – those were getting neater and better organized, too – for him to come to a realization. He might actually be able to have some free time on this Sunday instead of spending the whole day besides meals and bathroom breaks sitting at his desk and working.

He was so absorbed in his work – what a rarity – that he almost missed that there was sound in the room other than the scratching of his pencil against his notebook. When he finally noticed it, he looked up with his brow creased, confused. It almost sounded like humming, but he was pretty sure that even if his dad sang in the shower, it wouldn’t reach all the way through the closed door.

That was when he turned to see the SQUIP standing on the other side of the room, back facing him. It had a few translucent blue screens floating around it, each displaying various numbers and data that Jeremy could never even hope to understand, and it was tapping its chin as it looked over everything. Jeremy knew that the visuals were just to fit his personal aesthetics and to give him something to look at as the SQUIP interacted with him so his brain wasn’t left utterly baffled, but he still couldn’t help feeling intrigued.

Especially when he realized that his SQUIP was, in fact, humming as it went about its business.

Of course, as soon as Jeremy realized, the sound stopped and the screens fizzled away as the SQUIP looked over its shoulder. “What? You should be doing your homework.”

“You were humming,” was all Jeremy managed to say, realizing after a heartbeat how stupid it sounded to state the obvious.

However, the SQUIP merely blinked at him, turning around to properly face him, arms crossing against its chest. “I was not.”

“Wh—You were!” Jeremy protested. “I heard it.”

“Perhaps you were humming to yourself as you worked?”

“No way, I don’t hum when I work. Especially not when I’m doing math.”

The SQUIP seemed to bite back a smile at that and instead huffed. “Everything I do in this physical manifestation, Jeremy, has a purpose. There would be no reason for me be humming at this moment, so therefore I was not humming.”

Jeremy’s eyebrows furrowed. “But you were. I heard you. I know my brain is fucked up, but it isn’t so bad that I’m imagining humming. I even know the song. It was ‘Mr. Roboto’ by, uh…erm…shit…”

“Styx,” the SQUIP interrupted, although it didn’t seem entirely pleased to be giving Jeremy evidence against its argument.

“Yeah, Styx! It played at one point in Dave & Buster’s yesterday. When Jake and Brooke were doing the basketball game thingy.”

The SQUIP scowled at him. “Jeremy, I wasn’t humming. That would be illogical. Why would I carry out such a pointless act?”

Jeremy blinked, before shrugging. “I dunno. For fun? You’re an A.I., after all, so you have things that you like to do even if you don’t need to do them…right?”

He remembered the SQUIP telling him just a few days ago that it was impossible for it to ever be at a loss. But the SQUIP right now looked just a bit baffled at Jeremy’s explanation. “I…suppose that might be true. Have I done anything else like that?”

Jeremy thought for a moment. “You looked like you were having fun yesterday when we were playing games with everyone. Maybe it was just you helping me, but I think you were getting something out of it, too. Maybe the happy chemicals in my brain were affecting you or something.”

The SQUIP snorted. “It doesn’t work that way, Jeremy. But…you may be onto something.” It tilted its head, and Jeremy wondered what exactly it was processing. But it spoke again just a few moments later: “It seems that I was, in fact, humming. It was just a…mindless action. I didn’t even seem to realize myself that I was doing it.”

“Well, you told me that with every interaction, you learn and evolve,” Jeremy replied. “So maybe because you’re poking around at me less, you’re starting to realize there are things that you like to do? And that song stuck with you from yesterday.” He smiled. “Kind of fitting, honestly.”

“I’m not a robot, Jeremy. I’m a supercomputer.”

“Oh, you know what I meant!”

The SQUIP chuckled softly, reaching up to push its hair back, even though Jeremy was pretty sure it was already perfectly in place as it always was. “…This is certainly an interesting development. I’ll have to look more into it.”

Jeremy frowned. “I know you’re all about numbers and results and stuff, but…can’t you just enjoy it and not try to dig in and find a reason behind it?”

The SQUIP raised an eyebrow and tipped its head to one side as it looked at him. “I’m programmed to delve into situations and analyze how they come to be and what results may come from them. That includes how my own code functions and grows.”

Jeremy sighed, shrugging and turning back to his desk. “You do you, I guess. Just…I dunno, I have time when I’m not working and you don’t have to worry about me. So you could find your own thing to do.”

The SQUIP appeared beside him, still looking thoughtful. “You do realize I’m in your head, right? I can’t exactly decide to meander off and go attend some crazy rave.”

Jeremy smiled sideways at him. “Maybe you can meet up with Rich’s SQUIP and have a wild party or something in cyberspace. Or you could sync with some of my game systems and run around in them. I think you secretly liked being a little hamster.”

“I did not,” it protested and Jeremy only grinned more when he felt indignant static trail down his spine. The SQUIP tutted at him and turned away. “…I’ll consider looking into doing activities that don’t align with my assignment to you. It could prove to be an interesting experiment.”

“Uh huh.”

Jeremy left it at that and got back to his homework, although he was pretty sure he wasn’t focusing quite as well as before. Was it really that strange that the SQUIP had been humming? It seemed to do a lot of things that were a bit more extra than necessary – such as that little kiss to the back of Jeremy’s hand just the day before, but Jeremy was trying not to linger on that too much because it made his stomach feel funny – but it had always explained it away as being for Jeremy’s sake. But Jeremy was starting to wonder if that was just the SQUIP trying to convince itself that everything it did had a reason behind it and that it wasn’t just doing something for the sake of doing it like a stupid human would. A SQUIP was built to learn so that it could improve itself, and it would only see something as harmless as humming a tune as it worked as a distraction or even a downgrade.

But after Jeremy had eaten dinner and returned to his room to move on to his history homework, he blinked up as he once again heard the unmistakable humming. He looked over to see the SQUIP sitting on his bed, its eyes closed and expression contemplative as it almost hesitantly hummed out the familiar notes of ‘Mr. Roboto,’ albeit slower than the actual song. But as the minutes passed, the sound got more confident and Jeremy swore he even saw a smile.

“You have a nice voice,” he complimented after a bit.

“Just because someone can carry a tune while humming doesn’t mean they can sing well, Jeremy,” was the reply he got.

But when Jeremy lay down to sleep that night, nestled under the covers, he could see the gentle tell-tale glow of the SQUIP as it sat down on the edge of the bed, just as it had that first night it had activated. It ran its fingers through Jeremy’s hair, slow and soothing, and Jeremy tipped his head slightly up into the touch as he felt himself start to drift off.

And right before he fell asleep, he thought he heard a quiet voice singing:

“Everything about you is going to be wonderful…”

[wackygoofball]

Gwenspiration: The Wacky Version Vol. 3 - The Moodboards

So, here I go again parading myself and tooting like there is no tomorrow.

As people still brave enough to follow me on Tumblr will know, I do a lot of moodboards, or at least I call them such. Others call them collages or storyboards or pictures with random text. Either way, for me, moodboards became a neat tool to somehow capture story ideas not yet anywhere near a level that I could write fic about them - or serve as inspirations for fics I am actually writing.

And it gives me opportunity to hoard unhealthy amounts of Gwen and Nik pics, in the name of moodboards. And science. And stuff. Whoozah!

So yeah, in this post, I want to share some of my personal favorites. A lot of them actually, because I can’t decide, really.

I will start off with a group of moodboards which took inspiration from the Marvel universe, since the Marvel universe was my gateway into the more active parts of fandom.

Link

An all-time fave is the Iron Man AU... I mean, what not to love about a JB AU with Jaime as sassy Tony Stark and Brienne as the not-taking any shit from you army doctor, am I right? But yeah, seriously, Jaime *is* the Tony Stark of the GOT universe, and I can’t be convinced otherwise. And neither should be you.

Also, the Iron Man suits just totally fit the color scheme for both, which made creating the moodboards all the better for me. Jaime and Brienne were made for armor, now in medieval or modern times, let’s not kid ourselves.

Link

Another Marvel fave has got to be Captain Westeros. Because if there is a female GOT Version of Steve Rogers, it’s gotta be Brienne of fuckin’ Tarth. This one is really close to my heart because it gave me a lot of feels coming up with plot bunnies for it, and the tragedy of those two people missing each other in time over and over again, always trying to protect one another, only to end up on opposite sides because of the machinations of others... *sigh*

And I mean, one guy loses an arm. The other is blond and strong... I don’t make the rules but this delivers me enough material to re-imagine this as a JB AU... so yeah, I do kinda make the rules after all. Anyway.

Since I realized that this post’s gonna get even looooonger, I decided to make a cut here and put the rest below, so not to have you scrolling for five hours.

Link

Although it’s not the most popular moodboard amongst my followers (you brave people, I can’t parade you enough for staying through the madness lol), I really, really love that Fantastic Four moodboard and the concept behind it. And I just know a lot of effort went into making Valyrian Steel Brienne, which took all of my three computer editing skillz brain cells. But yeah, here again, I liked to play with the idea of them not admitting to their love until shit hits the fan and then they hide behind that because... drama, angst, feels, pining, yadda.

Link

And we go from Marvel to DC little quick. Because Brienne is, most certainly, a Wonder Woman. Nuf said.

Now, let’s move on to other big movie franchises that give me all the JB feels:

Link

Jurassic Park (aka Valyrian Park) evidently holds a special place in my heart because JB fighting dinosaur-dragon hybrids and kicking ass while being disbelieving about what was bred out in Valyria thanks to some certain someones to rescue Brienne’s adoptive daughter Arya is just... a thing? For me anyway.

Link

More down memory lane, I don’t know how often I watched the LOTR movies, suffice to say it was a lot a lot. We had the extended versions DVDs of the first two and basically it was the one thing to watch when nothing was on (which was the case a lot). Either way. JB in MIddle Earth long after the days of Frodo et al. - why? Because I just loved the idea (and aesthetic) of Jaime as a ranger and Brienne as a knight of Gondor working in disguise. And Hobbipod. I mean, Pod as a Hobbit. Come the fuck on. And Tyrion as an asshole wizard. What could possibly go wrong? This moodboard was very time-consuming as I had to do a lot of edits (pointy ears, tiny up people, smudge Brienne’s face on a lot of Boromir and Faramir images, smudge Jaime’s face on a lot of Aragorn images, you name it). So yeah. No matter its popularity... I dig it. Despite not having read the books yet (I know, shocking), I continue to ogle at the idea and go like: Must. Write. But. Must. Resist. Either way. Mood.

Link

So yeah, I grew up watching these movies a lot, too (I grew up watching a lot of TV, period). And when Gwen was cast as Captain Phasma, I got a lot of JB juices flowing as a result. Mehe. I found it was a fun idea to play with, to basically *kill* Phasma so *Brienne* can come into play and assume her identity. And a rundown Jedi!Jaime who’s lost faith in himself and everything else safe for his partner in crime/resistance is just... I needz. So you gotta cope with it. I still adore this concept a lot even if others may not. :)

Link

This one’s just... gah. Feels. And I really liked the color scheme lol. And I watched Horse Whisperer A LOT. Because of feels. And horses. And Honor is a horse and he deserved better than be barbecued at Highgarden, dammit.

Link

The No Reservations AU definitely has to be in this post because I live for this dynamic. Brienne taking care of the girls, not knowing how, though, constantly doubting herself while always trying to be perfect and composed, not just in life but on the job as well. And Jaime being the laid-back guy who’s just a darn good chef but may carry his own baggage of problems that keep him from his happy ending story is just... mah jam.

Link

This one was a lot of fun to do because you don’t really think about Erin Brockovich when you say Brienne of Tarth in terms of character. But when you scratch away the boob jokes and the differences in where they come from, what you find are two hard-working women who fight for justice, so I found that close enough. And it was excuse enough for me to go down the lane of biker!Jaime because... dayum.

Link

Music and Lyrics is an all-time guilty pleasure romcom of mine. It’s so light and easy and I kind of love how everyone is basically a bunch of awkward losers. All the more perfect for Jaime as a singer (we need that in our lives after the infamous video Nik was in to sing to us about global warming...) and Brienne as the unexpectedly gifted songwriter. What I like about the moodboard per se is how the color scheme turned out because it’s all warm and bright and... makes me happy.

Link

Very much in contrast to the former stands this one. I still love the overall mood of it and I dig the story idea because I dug both The Prestige and The Illustionist because they presented something dark yet very different, which made it all the more appealing to put into a moodboard for me. While not the most well-known moodboard of mine, I keep going back to it time and time again to basically lust at all the illusions and magic and drama. And blue butterflies.

Link

What is there not to love about a Pacific Rim AU for JB, am I right? Right?! JB ain’t just compatible when it comes to the Drift, yo, that’s all I’m gonna say. Reasons why I like the moodboard a lot is that it’s very different, flashy colors, gigantic robots, and I was mostly alright with how the edits turned out. It is tough to get images that fit the angles, yo.

Link

Jumping back in time once more, I really adore this one even though it’s not one of my popular moodboards. I dug the fusion of elements from Cinderella Man while granting Brienne as the female lead more space to develop as a character and make her a badass sniper nurse who is about to get her doctor’s degree. And Jaime doing anything to make it work because he owes her a debt (and his love) by boxing his way to their shared life is just... nice.

Link

Another supposedly lesser known moodboard is this one, though I really adore it for its premise and the amount of work I put into it (all the giffing and moodboarding). I also found use for that image of Gwen with what looks like the veil of a nun, which was probably what had me inspired in the first place lol. The plot bunnies revolve less around Se7en and more the novel El ùltimo Catón (2001) because it has a nun solving a mystery revolving around Dante’s works. But Se7en gives us the Seven, which is a delicious parallel too hard to ignore. For me at least. If only I knew how to write crime, dammit.

Now, to  move more into the serial (smooth transition from serial killer to serial TV shows, I know, I know) way of life, here is some moodboards inspired by TV shows (although some have since gotten movies which I also took inspiration from... yadda):

Link

Childhood memory galore. I spent many weekends watching The A-Team with the whole family. When the movie came out, I was happy about the feels it gave me (and the “you spin my head right round” scene still cracks me up more often than it should). Either way. I found it absolutely necessary for Jaime to be Face, for Tyrion to be Hannibal, for Bronn to be B.A. and cuss at everyone and everything and Brienne giving us the strangest genderbend of a Howling Mad Murdock. It added some angst, which I always need because I am a thirsty hoe for it. In case no one noticed yet. Ha.

Link

This one is very remotely inspired by The Bletchley Circle and the Imitation Game (because both feature encryption and one features Charles Dance already, yo.) I just really dug the idea of Brienne being so good at this because she is such a straight thinker but being underestimated because “she a woman.” And of course her not being done just encoding messages but getting into action, very much to the dismay of the stupid soldier wanting to defend the bae from harm. What could possibly go wrong? Right. A lot.

Link

Then. Elementary. Let me count the ways in which I love that show... ALL THE WAYS. And I really dig it as a JB AU. I have so many thoughts and feelings, I can’t even begin to tell you. I especially had my fun basically making Jaime Sherlock without making him really Sherlock because that guy was the one who taught him how to be an investigator before disappearing and fucking up his life for bad. And Brienne as the army doctor turned sober companion turned private investigator turned love interest is just too delicious to ignore.

Link

Pants down I mean hands down, this may be the actual favorite (currently) amongst them all for the plain reason that I also grew up watching that series and still watch it and keep obsessing about it. Ever since Discovery launched and has since given me both joy and grief, I found myself intrigued by the premise of a JB Star Trek AU where Brienne would be standing *with* the Klingons during the war around the time Discovery takes place, and Captain Jaime Lannister having lost far too much to this war already to truly trust anyone, even less so a woman who ran to the Klingons, for what it seems.

You would not believe how many ideas I have for a fic based on it. You wouldn’t believe that I basically have a sequel to that fic already in mind. And you would definitely believe, knowing me, that I am nowhere near writing that fic. But a fangirl can dream and moodboard, right? The moodboard was such a fun way of going about it, not only for the edits but because I could sneak some secret Klingon messages in there. :)

Now, on to the last part, which are the moodboards not inspired by movies or TV shows primarily but really just spewed out of my wacky, wacky brain:

Link

This has a special place in my heart because it combines military and the traumas it comes with for JB and.... the aesthetic of farming. And both finding a kind of peace they didn’t know they were looking for as they struggle to adjust and find their way back “to normal” after the horrors they have both seen in war. And did I mention the aesthetic? And Jaime in plaid? All dirty and sweaty? Do I have to say more?

Link

Why this one? Because it combines angst and romance and falling in love twice because DESTINY. And paintings. I love me my artist AUs. So that was my go at it, combining it with the “mystery” to be uncovered about what history Jaime and Brienne actually share as he tries to put his memories back together.  Also. This moodboard gave me opportunity to try out new filters and create JB paintings. :)

Link

This one’s gotta be on the list since I also added the Horse Whisperer. Now it’s Dog Whisperer Jaime and Brienne who won’t give up on her dog who’s seen some shit in the warzone (as did she, but Brienne will put it all aside for her doggish best buddy, of course). While it’s not a very popular moodboard of mine, I really enjoy the premise of it and how the dynamics can so easily change between the two of them if you see it in comparison to the Horse Whisperer AU. Also. I just really think Jaime is a total pet person.

Link

Another lesser known moodboard, I’d assume, but I really dug the premise of it (still do), and it was intriguing to do some edits to make Jaime’s hand *truly* golden lol. With people having developed strange mutations which aren’t nearly as much fun as they are in Fantastic Four AUs. What I liked about it was the idea that Brienne would have a kind of mutation/ability that links to the mind, since she is such a physically strong fighter that she may rather rely on that than on her own mind, fearing that she cannot control that with discipline the same way she can train her body with it. What unites the two is their strong wish to protect the people in their care, in a world on the verge of collapse forcing two unexpected allies together (okay, I totally expected it, but they didn’t). Either way. Much love for this one. :)

Link

Aaaand the last one (not of all the ones I made but the ones I picked for Gwenspiration). I really, really, really adore this one because I was so happy with how the aesthetic turned out and how the colors all match. And I dig the premise. Like holy moly do I dig it deep. Jaime and Brienne both serving in military, but on different fronts, and almost accidentally ending up writing each other letters? I mean... the PINING. And Brienne having to decipher Jaime’s chickenscratch. Yeah no, but for real. I just love the idea so much. That they are both committed to the cause while also yearning for a home, for peaceful times, for sweet, sweet love. And them meeting up and acting like stupid teenagers, only for drama to keep hitting because. It’s eh me angsty Wacky.

Either way. I dig the premises of a lot of my moodboards (in fact... basically all of them or else I wouldn’t be making them, I guess). I spared you listing all of them, though I listed a whole damn lot already. Moodboards are an awesome means for me personally to visualize and (re-)imagine. And since quite a few people seem to continue to be onboard with them, I am all the happier to keep making them.

That’s all for today.

Much love! ♥♥♥

*flies away*

[black-king-white-knight]

Nicoletto Giganti

Pairing: Romantic pining Logince. (They’re both Gay Disasters, what can I say?) Platonic Moxiety. Mild background platonic LAMP?

Word Count: 4,921. I swear it was supposed to be ~500. I am truly incapable of keeping my mouth shut.

Warnings: Logan’s oblivious, and despite the fact I didn’t really have time to include it, Roman’s pining too. A tiny little bit of swearing... oh and mentions of sword fighting, but it’s fencing classes and mentions of a competition. Nothing else I can think of, but let me know if there’s anything else anyone wants me to tag for.

Oh, and I know nothing about fencing other than what I remember from a couple of terms of it at school about a decade ago. Plus whatever I can dig up online. So any mistakes are, of course, mine.

Since I don’t have a beta, there might be some tense switches here that I haven’t fixed, if so, please let me know.

A/N: To my good friend and one of the two best artists I’ve ever seen. Happy Birthday Elli! I hope you like it. =)

 “So, have you asked him yet?”

Logan didn’t open his eyes, just gave a small sigh as he stopped counting and shifted position slightly. Eighteen seconds. Well, I had thought it would be Patton who asked, not you, Virgil.

“No, Virgil, I have not asked Roman anything yet, because, quite frankly, I don’t know what you except me to ask him or him to say in response.”

There was a short pause as Logan felt the unimpressed stare from Virgil and the... he wasn’t quite sure what kind of look Patton was giving him.

They’d both been acting strange since finding out about his... aesthetic fascination with Roman. That’s all it was, he’d quite clearly stated that, but for some reason, Virgil and Patton refused to accept it as such. They kept on trying to push for a confrontation and confession for illogical reasons Logan couldn’t decipher.

Whatever Logan’s interest in Roman was, Roman, very clearly did not reciprocate. It was nothing to be concerned about. Anybody looking at Roman could see the aesthetic appeal he held, and that’s all Logan was admiring about him. That’s it. Nothing more than that.

Virgil snorted off to Logan’s left, but thankfully didn’t press the subject any further. Patton was clearly worried about something, as evidenced by his constant fidgeting. It was a habit Virgil used to feel a little guilty about, thinking he’d inflicted it on Patton, but between Logan and Patton himself, Virgil had eventually been convinced that such a notion was rubbish.

“Don’t worry, kiddo, maybe he’ll ask you out...” It sounded like Patton mumbled something else after that, but Logan couldn’t make it out. If he was of a more fanciful nature, he might have guessed it was, “sooner than you think.”

Nevertheless, Logan’s brain short-circuited for a few seconds, involuntarily caught up in the notion of spending time with Roman. As much as he enjoyed the company of his other two friends, spending time with the theatre student would be...

No, it’s just an aesthetic attraction, Logan. You know this. Anything further is illogical. It was a mantra that Logan stuck to rigorously, especially recently. It had shielded him from the pain of rejection for several months now. Not that there was anything to get rejected over, of course. Wait...

“Patton, why would he need to ask me specifically? We’ve all agreed already that we would go as a group.” It sounded kind of weak, even to Logan’s ears. He didn’t even bother denying to himself that he wanted Roman to ask him specifically, despite how guilty it made him feel about excluding his other two friends.

He wanted his... definitely-not-a-crush to be reciprocated, of course he did, but not at the expense of his friendship with Roman. It was not a definite outcome, and Logan couldn’t bring himself to face such uncertainty.

Patton didn’t answer the question directly, but did send a quick glance at Virgil, again with that face that Logan didn’t know how to interpret. Something was clearly going on here, the two boys had a plan about something, but he couldn’t work out what it was and that made him a little uncomfortable.

When Patton and Virgil started plotting together, it was best to just hope you could stay out of the way. Patton didn’t look it, but he’d perfected his puppy dog eyes over many years and knew just when to deploy them to get out of trouble.

The teen in question shifted closer on Logan’s right side and gently pressed his outstretched leg to Logan’s and started carding his fingers through the other boy’s hair, and then moved on to gently scratch his scalp.

Logan wanted to pursue the subject further, and was about to ask Patton why he was clearly trying to distract him with physical affection when Patton hit that one spot right there.

This one particular spot on the back of Logan’s head had always been his weak point. It was a well established tradition between the four boys. They’d been best friends since before any of them could remember and had long ago grown so comfortable with each other that physical affection became a major method of communication, especially when they were feeling anxious about something.

Logan eventually gave up, just enjoyed the stroking, scratching sensations on his scalp as Patton moved his hand around, idly doodling puppy paws on his leg with his other hand. Virgil crouched against the tree, headphones on and looking like he was blocking out the world, but all of them knew that face well.

Roman had initially joked that it was Virgil’s ‘Taskmaster Face’, but the joke quickly proved to be a reality after Patton had gotten hurt in their first competitive fencing bout. Virgil had turned into a demon then, pushing them all to practice as much as they could to prevent any future injuries even after Patton’s protestations that he was fine.

At first they’d all rebelled against it in their own ways, but after Virgil had revealed his anxiety... Logan shuddered internally. The realisation that Virgil had been suffering in silence for years because he hadn’t wanted to bring them down had... not gone well for any of them, but at least Virgil was more open with them now, Patton especially.

Virgil wasn’t touching Logan, but he was offering his own silent comfort. Before Logan could demand an answer why, the bell rang out across the campus, and the three friends started walking back towards the buildings, Patton’s left hand having dropped from Logan’s head to his side, fingers entwining with his.

“Where’s Roman?” Logan asked, surprised that the theatre student hadn’t made an appearance all through lunch. A certain tardiness on Roman’s part wasn’t unusual, he had a habit of either getting distracted, especially when Logan was around, for some odd reason, and he often stayed behind to help the drama group.

Which they all did during productions, whether or not they were officially involved in them, but Roman did it year round, mostly tutoring the younger students.

But for him to not appear all throughout lunch was... odd. And Logan could have brushed it off as Roman being Roman except for the fake nonchalance that the other two on either side of him immediately came down with.

They knew something, and Logan wanted to find out what it was.

There was a moment of silence before Virgil shrugged, “He’s around.”

Seeing that Logan wasn’t satisfied with such an evasive answer, Patton jumped in with, “It’s nothing bad Lo; apart from that... It’s a surprise, you’ll see later. Just, trust us, please?” Patton then pulled out his puppy eyes, and Logan immediately caved. None of them were able to deny Patton anything when he pulled out that expression.

Virgil snicked and when Logan looked at him, he peeled away with a quick two fingered salute and headed towards English, while Patton and Logan moved to History, still hand in hand.

Logan felt out of place throughout his afternoon classes. He and Patton didn’t share many classes with either Roman or Virgil, since Roman was one year younger and Virgil was two, but even so, the lack of Roman and the secretiveness of the other two... stuck in Logan’s mind.

He knew Patton, the teacher and several of his classmates were all looking at him, wondering why he was so quiet, but Logan was too wrapped up in what his friends had told him during the day.

Roman was off, somewhere, doing something secret. It was a surprise that he would discover later, apparently, and then there was the issue of Patton’s insistence that Roman might give Logan a shot if he were to confess his feelings.

Logan couldn’t help himself; he started re-examining all of his past interactions with Roman. How distracted the theatre student was around him, frequently daydreaming and not paying attention to the tutoring help that Logan gave him. How, when they were fencing, they learned that out of all of them, Roman learned the worst when he was paired with Logan; it was like he was unable to focus full the way he was with Virgil or Patton.

But that was- surely his friends couldn’t be right, could they? Logan had seen enough romantic movies on movie nights between Patton and Roman, but everyone knew popular media didn’t imitate real life.

But Logan couldn’t (and to be honest, he didn’t want to) crush the spark of hope that was blooming in his chest.

“Lo?” Patton asked from above him. “You okay, kiddo?”

Logan looked up, realising with shock that class was over, and Patton had his arms full of his books and head cocked to one side as he looked at Logan.

“Uh, yes, everything is satisfactory, Patton.” Logan muttered, adjusting his glasses and trying to fight down the senseless blush that suddenly spread across his cheeks. Patton smiled at him and the two boys exited the classroom, only to be greeted by Virgil who was hanging around on the other side of the corridor, bag slung over one shoulder, hood up and headphones on. When he saw them though he pulled out his phone and turned his music off, pulled his headphones down and linked arms with Patton while they followed Logan to his locker.

He was still feeling off, but that feeling only spiked when he got close to his locker and saw other people looking at him before turning away, or people walking away giggling.

Logan turned the corner, gently but firmly working his way through the crowd that was milling around in the corridor, wondering what on earth was happening and-

...

Well.

That certainly explained what Roman had been occupied with.

Behind him, the sound of flesh smacking into itself, sounding very much like someone face-palming could be heard.

“When I said make it obvious enough even Logan couldn’t be that oblivious, that is not what I meant, Princey.” Virgil muttered from beside Logan’s right shoulder, and the gasping noise at his other side marked when Patton first saw the display.

The thing was, it was, almost, tasteful. There weren’t as anatomically inaccurate stuffed hearts as Logan would have expected, but what Roman had done was adorn them in the shades of black and blue that Logan tended to wear.

Roman was standing in front of Logan’s locker with two piles of hearts on his right, three on his left, a bunch of flowers in his hands, and a bright red blush on his face. On top of each heart pile was a large stuffed bear, each of them holding a letter or question mark to form the word, PROM?

Each bear was a miniature person.

The three outer bears, the ones holding the capital ‘P’, capital ‘M’ and the question mark, were miniature Logans. The two inner bears flanking Roman, the ones holding the capital ‘R’ and the capital ‘O’ were miniature Romans.

The three of the bears had been given Logan’s tie, glasses, shirt and slacks, but after staring in shock for a few seconds, he realised that not only did the bears have hair, it was his hair.

The Roman bears had the white Prince uniform, complete with gold trimming and red sash that Roman had worn in the only production he had so far directed, and it was Logan’s favourite performance he’d ever seen Roman give. The bears’ hair was also styled the same way it was in that performance.

Roman and whoever he must have had help from had given each one of the bears hair and clothes that was not only in his colour, but his style too.

Idly, Logan realised that such an effort must have taken hours, especially with five large bears to work on.

He was... amazed. Flattered. He couldn’t-

“Oh dear, I think Ro broke him...” he could hear Patton say from behind him, and Virgil snickered, saying something about “Windows”.

“Logan? Would you like to go to prom with me?” Logan was aware of Roman speaking, but he couldn’t seem to make his mouth work.

“Lo? Kiddo, you really should answer him...”

Logan snapped back to his senses, just in time to see Roman’s smile start to crack a little around the edges, like splintering glass.

“YES!” Logan yelled, rather louder than he meant to. But it did get his point across. Roman’s face burst into the biggest, most radiant grin Logan had ever seen across his face.

“Finally,” Virgil commented from behind them, and Patton sighed happily.

“Aww, they’re adorable together, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, Pop Star. Yeah, they are.”

 “What do you mean you had a crush on me?!”

“Logan! Sit down, please. You’re ruining my hard work,” Patton scolded from behind him, and Logan resumed his seat, chagrined.

“My apologies, Patton. I was just startled.”

Logan looked at Roman, who just shrugged, trying to pass it off as nonchalance, but failing spectacularly.

In the week after Roman’s promposal, Logan had come to realise many things, including that not only Virgil and Patton, but also most of the student body and the teachers all knew about Logan’s crush on Roman and, apparently, his crush on Logan.

It seemed as though the only two who didn’t know were the boys themselves.

“That’s why I asked you to prom like that, I needed something with extra oomph!” Roman replied, looking up in shock from where he was painting his own nails. Having done everyone else’s nails and make-up, he was now pushing through, trying to get his own done before their transport arrived. At Logan’s confused look, Roman continued, “That’s why I took Virgil’s advice and tried something more direct. Because I’d asked you out several other times and you never acknowledged it as anything more than friends, so I thought you were trying to let me down gently, but the they insisted you were just oblivious.”

They were standing in Roman’s bedroom, getting ready for prom that night. Patton was working on everyone’s hair, and Virgil was sorting out the finishing touches for his and Patton’s cocktail dresses that they were already wearing, and fishing the other boys’ suits out of the wardrobe.

And Logan was sitting there, unsure of how he could have missed all of these apparently obvious signs when no-one else did.

“No, of course I didn’t know. If I had I would have-” Logan sputtered.

“Would have what, Logan?” Virgil asked, from where his head was buried in Roman’s extensive walk-in wardrobe. “Here, this one’s yours,” he said, passing a suit-bag to Logan.

Tried harder to understand. “Thank you, wait, why is my suit in Roman’s wardrobe?”

“Because he had to make sure that your suit complimented his, of course,” Patton said from his position behind Logan, gently running his fingers through the other boy’s hair, styling it with the superior skill they all knew he had.

“I don’t understand. You were that sure I’d say yes?”

“Logan-” the other three say simultaneously, with varying degrees of exasperation.

“Logan... kiddo, the way you and Roman were staring at each other... you weren’t subtle.”

“Not even slightly,” Virgil added, his head still buried in fabric.

The teenager in question just stood there in shock, thinking that, if that were true, how had he missed out on it? He remembered realising Roman was staring at him a lot but he’d never...

“Hey,” Virgil said, nudging his shoulder, “Pat’s done with your hair, now go get changed before you start bluescreening again.”

“Yes. Thank you, Patton,” Logan said with a smile at the other bespectacled boy who grinned in response before shooing him away and making grabby hands for Virgil, who rolled his eyes and obediently sat down.

Just before he walked into the ensuite bathroom, the tail end of Virgil’s sentence caught up to Logan, and he turned and asked, “I’m never going to live down my reaction to that promposal, am I?”

The other three just stared flatly at him.

“Of course not,” Logan muttered, as he closed the door, but he couldn’t help his small smile at the thought of Roman’s display. And he knew that the others had seen his smile too, Roman in particular.

He unzipped the bag and pulled out the suit and gasped, in spite of himself. It was a charcoal grey, with a silk shirt of such a dark blue that it looked nearly black, with spots of silver glitter on the shirt, forming what looked like... no, forming what were constellations.

Logan’s love of astronomy and space was well known, but for any of them, or all three of them to go to such lengths just for his prom suit was... deeply touching.

The silk tie was a deep, royal red, presumably complimenting whatever Roman’s suit was going to be, and there was even a pocket square, which Logan attempted to fold many times, but then gave up, resigning himself to the fact that he would have to get one of the others to do it.

The make-up that Roman had so carefully applied to his face was... wonderful. Logically, Logan knew that Roman’s make-up skills were as impressive as Patton’s skill with hair, but there was a substantial difference between seeing it in action, and simply knowing about it.

Most of the make-up Logan couldn’t keep track of, he just sat back and trusted Roman to do what he did so well. Also, Logan was more than a little pre-occupied with not freaking out given his crush was so close for such a prolonged period.

The eye shadow was the same as his tie and the pocket square, dark blue and glittery. The eyeliner wings were ‘sharp enough to kill a man’ as Roman was so fond of saying, and Logan could certainly see what he meant.

There was also a faint shade of blue lipstick, lighter than his eye shadow; it matched the blue of Logan’s hair dye very pleasingly.

Shaking himself out of his stupor, remembering that they were all on a time limit, he got dressed, automatically sucking in his stomach a bit to get into the trousers, but pleasantly surprised to find they were perfectly tailored. How, he didn’t know, but recent events had taught him that he was clearly far less observant than he thought he was.

After he finished, he exited the bathroom, draping the empty suit bag across the back of one of the empty chairs before turning to the room at large.

“Can someone help me with my pocket square please?” Logan asked, stepping out of the bathroom. Virgil and Patton suddenly turned away from him, as Patton said, “Uh, sorry Lo, we’re both busy with this... thing. Maybe Roman can give you a hand?”

Logan was about to question them on their obviously fake excuse when he turned around and-

...

...

“Yep. I’ve definitely broken him this time.”

Roman stood there, looking the best that Logan had ever seen him. By a lot. Which considering Roman’s normal looks, was really saying something.

His suit was the same grey as Logan’s, and his shirt was the same red as Logan’s tie, but the glitter in his shirt was coloured white and gold. It took Logan a minute to work out what his glitter formed a picture of, but then it clicked. Castles and crowns.

A prince indeed, was the thought that went through Logan’s mind.

Roman plucked the dark blue and glittery pocket square out of Logan’s limp fingers and swiftly folds it into the ‘Three Stairs’ fold for Logan, Roman’s own pocket square, done in the ‘Four Peaks’ design, looking like a red and gold glittery crown on his chest.

“Roman, you look... splendid. Amazing,” Logan breathed in awe.

“Thank you, Logan. You look almost perfect yourself, there’s just one, final, touch...”

Logan felt a tugging on his cuffs and looked down. Roman was holding a small, velvet covered box, and blurted out a question before he even knew what he was saying.

“What- Roman, are you asking me to marry you?”

There was a crash from behind Logan that made all three of them turn around in shock to find that Virgil was currently laughing hysterically from his position on the ground, where he’d tripped over a chair in shock at Logan’s question.

“No, Logan, I’m not asking you to marry me,” Roman said, failing to keep the laughter out of his voice as Patton helped Virgil up.

“Oh, okay then,” Logan said, not quite sure how he felt about that.

“After all, we’ve got to save something for after the prom, don’t we?”

Logan was sure he couldn’t have heard that correctly, but Roman grinned at him, then went back to the box. Which, when he opened it, turned out to contain cufflinks, not a ring.

The cufflinks themselves though turned out to be another surprise, since the design on the links was the logo of the team the four of them had formed together.

Again, Logan felt his heart swell with love for the three people around him. Even without his new relationship with Roman, (which he still couldn’t quite believe) the deep love he had for the three people around him, and the love they had for him was something he would hold onto for the rest of his life.

Logan caught Roman’s eye, just as the other boy raised an eyebrow in a silent question. Logan nodded mutely, and extended his arms, giving permission for Roman to press the cufflinks into the end of his sleeves, standing closer than was strictly necessary, but Logan had zero intention of pushing him away.

“There. All done. Now, you look perfect, Logan.” Roman said softly, he took a step backwards, running his fingers down Logan’s forearms and across his hands, sending electric sensations up Logan’s spine, which made his fingers twitch in response to Roman’s ministrations.

Logan inhaled, and he didn’t know what cologne Roman was wearing, he couldn’t even really say what it smelled like, all he knew was that Roman smelt fantastic.

Logan turned around, feeling his face heat up as he felt Roman’s fingers slip into his own, and they turned and looked at each other before both blushing, looking away, and catching sight of Patton and Virgil, who were looking at them with what had become their standby expressions over the past week.

Virgil’s fringe was hanging down in front of his eyes, with his lips turned up in a small smirk, but this one was his private, ‘you’re a dork but I love you anyway’ that Virgil kept just for the three of them. Patton, meanwhile, was looking at the two of them like they were puppies he’d just been handed.

A honk of the horn outside confirmed that their transport had arrived, and the four of them hustled downstairs, quickly slipping into their shoes, (heels for Patton, dress shoes for Logan and knee-length boots for Virgil and Roman,) and hurrying outside, to be greeted with the sight of an actual limousine.

They all started talking excitedly, getting more and more excited for what the night promised, as they walked towards the limo.

They climbed inside, spreading out across and sinking into the luxurious leather upholstery as the driver shut the door, settled into the front and pulled out into the traffic, heading towards the tower the prom was being held in.

The trip was quiet, mostly, because despite the fact that Roman and Patton were almost constantly talking, with Virgil occasionally joining in, it didn’t annoy Logan like it would have if it were other people.

He just leant back, still not quite able to believe that he was this happy, this fortunate just a week after being so sure that he would be attending tonight more for his friends than he would for himself.

When they arrived, they found the entrance to the tower was filled with students from their high school, all milling around in their own little friendship groups. As the four of them walked past towards the lifts, Logan heard someone mutter, “Damn, Patton wears that dress so well,” and Logan couldn’t help but agree. So did Virgil, but there was something about the way Patton moved, that just made his dress look a lot different, despite them being identical except for the colour.

They took the lift up to the 21st floor, exited the car and found their way up the stairs to be greeted by the sight in front of them. The ballroom had a dance floor and stage immediately in front of them, a bar tucked into one of the far corners of the room, opposite the kitchen doors and well out of the way of the tables spread throughout the far half of the room. Floor-to-ceiling plate glass windows completed the effect, with a pair of French doors leading to a balcony.

They took their seats at one of the tables near the front, joining a few of their other friends who they spent the first part of the night chatting with, as they ate dinner.

Eventually, though, Roman and Patton both jumped to their feet as the rest of the table hurriedly vacated, along with most of the other students. Logan and Virgil looked up sharply, Virgil’s eyes already widening, no doubt fuelled by his anxiety, when Roman said, “Come on, Lo, we’ve got to dance!”

What. “I beg your pardon?”

“Dance, you know, that thing where you move your feet and body in time to a piece of music?”

“I’ll have you know I’m well acquainted with the concept of dancing, Roman. I just wasn’t planning to dance tonight.” Which was true, Logan had no intention of dancing tonight, but seeing Roman’s face fall, to be quickly swallowed by a neutral expression hurt him deeply.

“O-oh, well that’s okay! Pat’ll dance with me!”

“Wait, Rom-!” But the two boys were gone before Logan could finish.

Virgil looked at Logan sympathetically. “Scared you’d look stupid on the dance floor?”

“I... do not understand, dancing. It’s a sequence of steps in time to a beat, it’s almost mathematical, yet no matter how much I try, I am unable to even acquire basic efficiency at it.” Logan said, still trying to work out how to fix the sudden problem he’d caused.

“Logan, look at them. Not Roman, you’ll just end up feeling hurt. Also, Roman’s great at this, he’s not my point.” Logan was confused, but let his eyes drift across the other students, seeing them dancing, laughing, having fun.

“Really look at them, Logan. What do you see?”

“Teenagers dancing. What am I supposed to be seeing, Virgil?”

“Teenagers dancing badly. But they’re having fun doing it. If someone’s dancing like that, they’re thinking about more than looking stupid on the dance floor. If you go out and dance badly, no-one’s going to look twice at you. All four of us fence, but Patton does ballet as well and Roman... is Roman. People expect them to dance well because they know they can. People don’t expect it of us, so if it turns out we can’t do it, then it’s not a problem. They don’t take any notice of it.”

“That is... surprisingly observant of you, Virgil.”

“Yeah, well, that’s anxiety for you. I’ve had a lot of time to spend watching from the sidelines. But if it makes you feel any better, they’ll do some slow songs later. Slow dance with your man. No skill required, and you get to hold him close.”

“Thank you, Virgil. I will certainly... try, to do that.”

“That’s all I’m asking, Pocket Protector.”

The song ended, and almost in answer to some unspoken wish of Logan’s, the band switched from a fast song to a slow one.

Patton and Roman returned, cheeks flushed with exertion when Logan suddenly sprang up. “Roman, would you please dance with me?”

“What? But I thought you didn’t-”

“I do! I was just, surprised.”

“Oh. Yes. Yes. I mean, I would certainly love to dance with you,” Roman said, the flush on his cheeks deepening a little as he grabbed Logan’s hand and they walked briskly towards the dance floor.

The two boys turned to each other and had to take a few seconds to sort out who was holding the other where, but eventually they got themselves sorted and Logan leant his head on the taller boy’s chest as they swayed together slowly.

They spent the next few hours like this, either on the dance floor, sometimes in pairs, sometimes all together, sometimes all alone in Roman’s case, or all together at the table, eating or resting.

Around midnight, when the dancing was starting to wind down and the room was starting to get to everyone, Logan suggested they go sit out on the balcony for some fresh air, and Virgil decided to ask Patton to dance for the first time tonight. Unwilling to say no, the two left, leaving just Roman and Logan together.

They both rolled their eyes at the total lack of subtlety the other two possessed, but were also grateful to them, so they left it at that and headed outside.

The balcony was quiet, the cool air pleasant on Logan’s heated skin as he leaned into Roman’s side, both of them staring up into the night sky, quietly admiring the constellations as the sound of the bell striking midnight rang out across the city.

“I love you, Logan.”

“I love you too... my prince.”

   End Notes: The title is another awful, awful pun. Except this one isn’t really a pun. You do get to see a cute puppy if you understand it though.

There’s a lot here I want to change and expand, but since I’d also like it to be done *before* the end of the year, this is where it ends.

 Oh, and if you’re wondering about the dresses Virgil and Patton are wearing:

https://au.shein.com/Fit-and-Flare-Sleeveless-Glitter-Dress-p-551409-cat-1727.html

Obviously, the purple one for Virge, and a lighter shade of that blue for Pat.

 And finally, I do apologise if the quality seems a little... lacking. I wrote all but 179 words of this in about 16 hours. So... yeah. Actually, subtract all the time I spent distracting myself... it’s probably closer to six hours. I have a cramp in one hand, it is now 2:41AM and I’m off to bed. But I do hope you enjoyed, despite all that. =)

I somehow forgot to tag anyone. >.<

@ellistruggle @pipapatton

Thanks for the reminder Pipa. =)

Edit: I’m not sure what’s happening with the spacing, why it won’t separate like I want it to, I’m sorry about that, I’ll try and get it fixed as soon as I can.

[duskbeforeyou]

A Scratch on Our Lunar

Beyond Orange Dusk Part VI

It is beautiful how our brains designed to walk hand in hand with time. We can feel the pain and bliss of the past, of the memories that left footmarks on the continent we had walked. We can feel the sudden occurrences and thrills that stimulate our blood and heart passing through the present and have a life full of hopes, fears, and expectations of the uncompromising future. Perhaps, I am on the same page as the other typical millions of human living in this planet hoping that certain numbers of negativity just fade away fusing with wind and cold. But it is unlikely at those moments, when everything seemed easy. When everything was about you.

Our very first cup of coffee moment was about five months ago and we had been through another lot of cups together since then. Hundred of conversations were such clarifications of our each other fondness of sharing each other’s personal life, deep thoughts, and another classical jokes. I knew much enough about him. Keanu; a new boy who moved from another part of the continent to a neighborhood I had been living since I was a kid. He finished his high school and stayed with his parents for a while before he was ready to get into college life. He really was a cute boy next door. A boy who made people around love him unconditionally on the first sight by only looking at his smiling eyes and a lovable giggles. His voice was every beautiful note in this vociferous world could possibly offer. We were friends. Good friends. Then myself realized that I could not keep on denying this hidden feeling any longer.

 *ring ring*

 “Halo?” I picked my ringing phone.

“Hey! New episode of Star Wars movie is already on theatre!” sounded Keanu, excited.

“So?” was me, with a plain tone.

“What do you mean by ‘so’?! You’re going with me tonight!”

“What? Again? Last week you hit me with an alien and a weirdo movie, and now this?! No, no.”

“Ugh, come on. Just this time, please. I can’t enjoy a movie without a companion. And you’re the only person in this world who passed my requirement.”

“It’s enough for giving you my favor for free. I need a payment.” I teased.

“Oh God. I am robbed.” whined him.

“Geez, I don’t even ask for a cent.”

“Oh you don’t accept cash. Then what should I do for you, milady?”

 I was thinking for a while in silent. My mind went far and “stay here forever with me” came across my mind in for few seconds. But no, that sounded too obsessive. So I decided to say a request only.

 “A dusk.”

“Okay. What is it?”

“You know I love dusk right?”

“Ehem?”

“I want to see sunset when dusk falls behind the hills near our neighborhood.”

“On sudden? We often passed through it but this is the very first time you ask for such weird request.”

“That isn’t weird. I always want to see it with a cup of coffee. Oh, I almost forgot. You never get aesthetics, right, cause you’re only addicted to unidentified objects.”

“Hey, that is so rude!”

“You were too!”

“Alright alright. When you wanna see your dusk?”

“Hmm.. next week. November 10th.”

“Okay. I’ll pick you up by then.”

“Affirmative.”

 So I went. I mean for a Star Wars movie. He was really a boy next door; pleased even for a very simple thing. Call it a compatibility, when I was just a mellow-hearted woman who loved silent and solitude. If I were a house, finding Keanu in my life was such a sweet robbery ever happened to my tight-closed doors. Before him, I used to have rather spent all seasons facing thousand pages of my books and locked myself in my room than made tiring conversation with people. I preferred to be quiet most of the time cause I had not found yet people that could get my words, whether my deep conversation nor my humor. Pessimist not, but trust me, I had tried to talk to few people before and it ended up to a disappointment. With him, my fear to desperation just like faded away.

 10 November

16:00

 *knock knock*

 It was a sound heard from front a made of old teak door of my house. Then the sound of my little and hurrying steps followed after. With a smile on my face, I opened the door.

 “Well, just in time.”

“Of course. I want to make you see the most breathtaking version of sunset this evening.”

“Okay okay. Thanks.”

“So, you’re ready?”

“I very am.”

“Let’s take a walk.”

 So I closed the door behind us. November was all about falls. The wind felt colder day by day. I was wearing my navy vintage dress covered with a dark grey oversized cardigan. I was not a fan of high heels so I was having a pair of black ballerina flat shoes. My small sized feet were walking on cheerio following your feet from behind wearing 70’s Converse sneakers at the moment. You were on a stripe short sleeves T-shirt covered a dark blue parka, with a crème colored cotton long pants. My eyes were enjoying pleasantly looking at your footsteps walking in rhyme with mine. The path in that evening seemed indeed lovely, and so were you. Indeed.

15 minutes passed and we had arrived standing almost to the top of the hills. There was a small coffee shop standing solo near to them and we decided to go there. You had your favorite Americano as usual, and I only had a cup of hot chocolate. We were sitting at the porch relishing a mild evening wind while facing to the sun that was ready to bleed towards the dusk.

 “Look! The clouds are shifting.” said Keanu.

“Yeah, so does the sun. Beautiful, isn’t it?” was I, amazed.

“It is. The mixed of soft violet and orange colors are amazing. So, you’re happy now?”

“I love this moment, Keanu. When crowds are altered into silent, when the sky pulls out the night, when the moon cries existence to the sun. I love the way how universe conspires to captivate beings who own souls, like us.”

“Do we literally have a soul?”

“Of course. Don’t you think so?”

“Sometimes, I just feel like a person who has been losing my own soul for a long time.”

“Why?”

“What do you mean by why?”

“Why you feel so? All this time, what I know about you is merely a joyful excitement.”

“Haha. No, Rae. I am a normal human too. Grief is also part of myself, deep inside.”

“So, you feel the grief a lot?”

“Sometimes. Just in case I am thinking about certain people and circumstances.”

“Tell me about it, Key. Share everything. Talk to me.”

“Hm. Can it bring my soul back with that way?”

“Maybe.”

“Then can I ask you one thing?”

“Anything.”

“Please, stay there. Stay, whatever happens between us. Be my companion as we have been through these months.”

Oh God, what is this. My heart was beating faster than before. I was unsure whether it was an amusement or an anxiety. My throat was hoarse. My tongue lost its energy. I could not think straight at the moment. One thing that struck my mind was a query “Could he feel the same?”

 “I am staying.” I genuinely answered.

“Thanks, Rae.”

 A smile and a sincere gaze were my answer. We spent the rest of the evening by looking at the sunset and sipping our cups of coffee and chocolate. When the nightfall completely swallowed the sun, we decided to walk back home.

…

I finally entered my room. It felt earnestly warmer than the last time I locked it. I took off my cardigan then sitting at my little reading desk beside my bed for a while. Closing my eyes, trying to rewind all the delightful moments passed this evening. I even still remembered the smell of the wind that slowly stroking my hair. Afterwards, I opened my close eyes and grabbing a small calendar on my desk. It’s November 10. I marked the date with a pink colored pen and put a small memo on it.

The cups of coffee and chocolate will always warm the orange dusk.