#This dude was definitely drunk tho

[sunparadiso]

don’t save him he don’t wanna be saved

college student caleb x college slut reader/smut-slight angst?

We’ve all heard the old saying: men love hoes. And Caleb is no exception.

Everyone thinks he’s a sweet boy. He’s super friendly, so thoughtful and generous. He’s the kind of guy parents want their kids to be friends with, such a well-mannered young man with a spotless GPA. He gets along with practically everyone-he’s the best guy to go party with, never got too drunk to be useless and never too sober to be a buzzkill. Girls always gravitate towards him and if they weren’t drunk caleb would spend the night playing wingman.

Thus to everyone, sweet and kind boys like Caleb deserved a good girl, a kind of girl he could take back home to his granny. The kind of girl a guy like caleb could marry. And to everyone, you’re definitely not that girl.

You were a different kind of trouble. Unbelievably attractive, and so incredibly easy.

The guys he hangs out with occasionally are so quick to pull up your track history as if Caleb wasn’t already ignoring the group chat they put him in.

-yk the basketball team ran a train on her in their hotel room right after nationals?

-I think my plug is smashing her too dude i see them riding around and shit

-weed been extra good tho i won’t lie

-lmaoo cal bro u kiss her ur kissing a 1000 dicks

-ong dude hit and quit that immediately

-frr get your piece and let her goooo she’s not the one for u trust me

But caleb doesn’t want to let you go :(

Much to the disappointment of everyone around him, he likes you..a lot, and he feels almost too old to be having a crush, but it sums up what he’s been feeling. He couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get close to you when he sees you're in the same physics lab. Every Thursday from 5-8pm, he's pushing his chair closer to yours, enough to drown in the sweetness of your perfume. Burning up from your smile when you laugh at his dumb jokes. Trying not to stare too long at your ass when go up and ask the TA a question. Finally locking in and getting the work done when he starts bricking up in his sweats imagining what the lip you bite on tastes like as you crunch numbers on his calculator.

Truth is, he quite enjoys the fact that you're highly experienced. Virgins just don’t do it for him, a self realization he comes to learn when he finally does get a taste of you. Why find somebody so amateur when he has you? A pretty girl with a cute smile that knows exactly what to do with his dick.

How could he let you go when you suck his cock sooo good? You love that it’s fat, love the struggle of getting it down your throat, immediately choking, eyes getting glossy with tears. It really inflates his ego when your throat lets out violent gurgles, filling up his room. "a-ah-damn baby keep goin'” You’re slurping up your drool oozing down his cock all over the short hairs at the base, and caleb loves the sound of it, sopping with your spit and his pre decorating your tongue. Slick pink muscle lapping at his cockhead as you look at him all cute, teasing the blunt end, coaxing for his nut that’s he’s shaking on his elbows. Right when he’s close, you suck his balls fisting him quickly, suckling on them as they tighten up against your lips and ducking your tongue down on the little patch of skin above his ass. “yeahyeah-get me there gorgeous o-oh-fuckk babe ‘m cummin’ -” You’re quick to envelop your mouth around him and he sees white, shooting quick and thick ropes, twitching on your tongue sending load after load and he watches your throat bob, swallowing him. Caleb shamelessly kissing you hard after, nice and sloppy with his tongue tasting the semibitterness of his seed on your lips. Who cares? it’s his dick in your mouth now.

So what if others got a taste before he did? It’s not like your body remembers them anyway. Pretty pussy all warm and tight. Struggling to take him as if you’ve never been fucked before. “fuuckk caleb-‘s too much” you whine on his dick as you bounce on it, the fat ass plastered all over your instagram jiggling on his lap as you come down. He can’t get enough of it, his large hands meeting your skin in slow and loud smacks. So damn soft and supple, he’s grabbing handfuls to spread and watch your stretched out hole devour him. “alll for you baby-‘n you’re takin’ it -nice and-ngh deep h-ah you like that?” Pussy fluttering each time you sink down, gushing cream that forms a wet ring at the base of his cock. You begged to take him raw and that’s why you're the best, so eager to feel him. Letting his bare tip rub the gooey spot deep in your guts. Letting him kiss your cervix and feel your sticky walls spasm. You’re so fucking wet-wetter than your throat and he feels like he’s drowning, losing his cock in your little water park that can’t help the noise.

His name drags out of your mouth like a wail and it only makes him raise his hips up to meet you, “o-oh-fuck me caleb-harder- yesss ‘s so deep-” He gets you louder, let his stupid friends hear that he’s got you now and you're not going anywhere. Those guys were never his friends though, that much is clear.

Whatever. Caleb reckons your previous hook-ups never made you finish. Decides to take you in missionary just so he can see what they haven’t, toying with your clit under his fingers and watching you play with your tits as he drills your hole, “wanna feel you cum beautiful-fuckk yeah baby- cum on your dick- mhmm-‘s yours” It takes everything in him not to bust first, the way you writhe under him , spreading your legs wider to take more drives him crazy. You sound so fucking sexy when your build up peaks that it’ll play in his head for weeks. God your greedy little pussy latches onto him like a vice, like it’s desperate for his load. Your pretty mouth gets to begging for it too, begging for him to make this pussy his. Fuck he wants to-so so bad. He has no choice but to cum deep inside you, letting you feel his cock twitch, his heartbeat rubbing up on your walls as he empties into you. Yeah he’ll gladly make this pussy his, for life, and nobody can change his mind.

The only thing he wish he could change was what happens after you fuck. You let him wipe you down and get you water. You let him spoon you in bed and watch Tiktoks on your phone. But everytime caleb wants to make plans for a date- to take a step towards something permanent with you, you're sliding out of bed putting your clothes on, telling him you have plans with friends or you're going home for the weekend. It’s like you're here with him, but just a touch away and he can’t get close.

It keeps him up late sometimes, staring absentmindedly through his window lost in his thoughts about you and him. But then it clicks one night when he realizes he’s watching you in a tiny jean skirt hop on the back of some guy’s obnoxiously loud motorcycle, zooming out of the parking lot. It makes him blink several times just to make sure he’s not imagining it. Huh? There’s someone else..?

But who?

[senbbonzakura]

Hello Dear! I wanted to make a request for main 4 (from South park obvs) where their S/O meets their family's for the first time if that's okey (you can ignore Cartman if you'r not comfortable with writing for him its okey, I get it LMAO) <333

Also I recommend you do the list of things and characters you will and won't do as fast as possible!

Sorry for possible grammer or spelling errors, English is not my first lenguage :))

sure sweetheart!! ill try to do the list as fast as i can, thank you <3 also i get the grammar, english isnt my first language either, everyone starts somewhere and its okay :) also i made the reader female and no cartman, i hope thats okay!

⋆ F!READER MEETING MAIN 3'S FAMILIES FOR THE FIRST TIME :

✩ — STAN !

at first i feel like it was supposed to be just his mom you would meet

stan does NOT want you to meet his dad.

what if you think stan turns out like him? he doesnt want u to leave him bc of that :(

so he picked a day his dad wouldnt be home on purpose

turns out he actually was home so u met both his parents..

sharon loved you! she thought youre so kind and a perfect partner for her son😭

you didnt talk really much with randy bc stan tried to keep you away from him. i guess randy was just glad that stan isnt "funny"

shelly was actually excited to have another teen girl under the roof

she says youre "meh" but enjoyed meeting you

✩ — KYLE !

my boy was nevrous bc i feel like sheila has some high expectations

higher than kyle..

even tho its his partner😭

she just wants her son not to end up in drugs or smth

when she meets you shes actually obsessed with you!

buttttt, she still keeps an eye on you

just mothers instinct, but she still likes you!

i guess gerald just went with whatever sheila said, but he thinks youre nice

they definitely want you to come over more

i almost forgot that ike also exists

ike is that type of kid to disturb you two every second no matter what youre doing

he just wants that attention from teenagers

imagine how cool he feels hanging out with 2 teens?!?!!!?!!

✩ — KENNY !

his parents made some "drunk" talk with you😭

"life's good? yeah?"

no but fr now

kenny tried to get his parents to stay sober for the day you would meet them

but oops they forgot and drank a little

just enough to still luckily remember that they met you

although you didnt talk much with them bc kenny dragged u to his room

and guess what

U MET KAREN

omg dude. karen is so in love with you fr

atp kenny is jealous

its basically the same thing with karen and with ike.

the only different thing is that kyle probably tells ike to go away or sum while kenny actually agrees for karen to stay

he sees how much joy you bring her!!

if karen is happy then kenny is happy too <3

gimme more requests ygssss

[cyberm4n]

NSFW Alphabet for Alastor, Vox and Husk if you don’t mind pretty please!

as you wish :)

NSF/W ALPHABET

feat. alastor, vox, and husk

i wrote this over the span of a week and for a good portion of this i was pretty drunk so my apologies if it gets messy

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

alastor would recognize the need for aftercare but like as soon as you're fine and happy he's done with this whole ordeal. especially if you're someone who needs cuddles he will tolerate it until the exact moment you don't need him to.

vox tbh gives the vibes of like, he doesn't entirely think aftercare is necessary so only if he's in a good mood will he settle in and take care of you after.

husk is 100% all in on aftercare. you need water? done. need a towel? he's got them ready. anything you need he has it or will do it. he'd probably be SUPER big on cuddling though but he'd never admit it. he does get sleepy very easily tho.

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

alastor doesn't seem the type to have a favorite body part but if he did it would be your neck. sorry.

vox is definitely an ass man 100% he always appreciates some ass

husk i feel would be particular about your hands, idk why he just gives that vibe.

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

alastor is a big fan of cumming inside, leaving a mark on you

vox is 50/50 but he usually leans towards facials

husk is a creampier but in a more like intimate way.

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)

i don't imagine alastor having a dirty secret but i 100% think vox has fuck machines and husk is lowkey into bdsm (the more tamer parts)

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

i think in order of most experience to least it would be: vox, husk, alastor. i think alastor would have some experience but he doesn't do that stuff a lot yk, husk has definitely fucked before and knows his way around and i solidly think vox is an absolute sexual deviant and is the most experienced by far.

F= Favorite position

alastor is anything that establishes him a a dominant. thinking like a mating press cause he'd want to see your face but doggy style also works.

vox is a cowgirl enjoyer, or anything where you're on top of him. he likes watching you do the work.

husk probably trends to more vanilla like missionary but i don't think he'd have a favorite. he definitely likes anything where he can see your face though.

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

alastor would be super serious i think, vox is like mostly serious/intense but sometimes he's just in a silly mood and i think husk is always a little bit relaxed about it, unless it's something really intimate then he's being all romantic and shit.

H= Hair (grooming habits)

alastor is well groomed when he anticipates having sex whereas husk is well groomed regardless, and vox i think is the kind to always keep it hairless down there

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

alastor is almost always rough but CAN be a little bit softer. same with vox, both of them are doing it with the intention fo dominating you.

husk is 50/50 can be either tbh. in a relationship he'd prly lean more towards something sappy and intimate.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

i don't see alastor masturbating at all tbh. sorry i know that's such a boring hc but like, i just don't see it happening.

vox 100% does, favorite way to blow off steam if you're not there. remember the fuck machines from earlier? yeah dude prly has a plethora of sex toys.

husk does but not often, like a normal amount. if he's feeling in the mood and you're not there or not in the mood as well he does mind it. he'd do the old man huff thing when undoing his pants tho.

K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)

alastor would be pretty into choking and irgasm denial or like dubious consent. some form of cnc or just something that makes him feel like youre at his mercy. i think vox is in a similar boat but he'd be into the mirror kink or whatever it's called where you have sex infront of a mirror. husk would be into somno and overstim i think

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

alastor would be into privacy, given the fact he's like dominating you he wants the space to do so

vox doesn't care but in his office is where the majority of it would happen i think. he seems the type to rage the fuck out at his desk and need his little doll come make him feel better :(

husk is a bedroom guy but on the off chance the hotel is dead quiet you might be able to convince him into something in the parlor

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

alastor is domination and owning you, vox is a mixture of possessiveness and genuinely wanting to get off, husk is all in for pleasure and pleasing you

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

alastor would never bottom, like ever. it doesn't matter how much you ask that man is never submitting to you

vox i don't think there's much but he's not into being dommed i don't think. it's a very thin line though because like sometimes he'd like to just be a bit mindless and get fucked and pampered more

husk would never do really rough play. anything that involves straight up hurting you is a big no

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

alastor would be a giving guy i think. not that he wouldn't enjoy you giving him head but it's a power thing right, when he goes down on you and you're writhing beneath him? it's heaven. skill wise 7/10

vox is a receiving guy, he loves watching you suck him off. i think he'd go down on you if you asked but it's not his first thought yk. skill wise 4-5/10

husk is a 50/50 again but i think he's more partial to receiving. something about you on your knees and taking care of him like that is so mesmerizing. skill wise 8/10

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

alastor could last for a really long time tbh despite the powerplay it's also mostly about your pleasure to dominate you. he'd be fast pace wise though

vox is about average for how long he lasts, there's somedays he's a little fast and he'd lowkey get embarrassed if you teased him. he's fast pace wise but it depends on how close he is.

husk is average but it also depends on what you're doing. anytime you give him head he's very quick to cum, and he'd such a fan of it tbh. he'd be a wildcard pace wise, really depends what you want him to do.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

alastor doesn't like quickies at all, he likes time to do this shit properly

vox LOVES quickies idk if i need to elaborate more

husk isn't a fan of quickies but occasionally appreciates them.

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

alastor is 50/50 if it has anything to do where he has less power then no but if it's just something more he could do then yes!

vox is a cautious yes, but it's very unclear to me whether he'd want to just be an in the moment thing or like discussed before hand. he seems like the kind to randomly pull out a move midsex and gage your reaction

husk i think he leans closer to no, in his opinion the way he's doing things seem great so why complicate it more? but if you really want to try something he will

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

alastor can go quite a lot of rounds I think, like each round is around the same, the only reason he's stopping is if he thinks you physically can't take it anymore

vox can go like 2-4 rounds i think but they definitely get shorter as he goes. you're only making it to round 4 if he's had a rough day

husk is like max 2 id say. second round gets a lot shorter and he REALLY relies on you helping him out for both of you to reach climax.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

alastor and vox yes but alastor could lowkey get possessive for no fucking reason. idk why he just seems the type to be a bit condescending especially if you have sex later.

husk is a no, i think. like if the activity required a toy then sure but he definitely doesn't have toys unless you were adamant about using them he wouldn't suggest it. i think he might get insecure he's not making you feel good enough though :(

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

alastor teases a lot but he's not a fan of when you tease him. if you do any sort of bratty shit he's 100% putting a swift end to it, but he does like the challenge. he seems like he might be into total denial so it's a dangerous game for you

vox teases and doesn't mind being teased but i think he's the kind to get frustrated if you're being a brat in public

husk is SUCH a tease. like you wouldn't really expect it but it's just little things in public with affection while no one is looking. during the actual act he's not one to tease much though

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

alastor grunts fr but like i think that'd be about it. other than little coy comments and some degrading praises he's pretty quiet

vox on the other hand MOANS. if you tease him abt it he will get so fucking mad. but like he's definitely loud asf too.

husk is a groaner but he also moans. he's like a medium level i guess? more on the quiet side, i don't see him getting loud

W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)

alastor really likes marking and will do so. like one minute you're just lying in bed, the next you're on his lap as he digs his teeth into your neck.

vox really likes handjobs idk why but he just does. something about watching you jerk him off gets him going

husk likes making out while fucking. like he's the kind to give you the sloppiest of kisses while he ruts into you.

X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)

skipping cause i feel like it's been answered thoroughly, they all have cocks that vary in size and grooming.

Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)

alastor has a low sex drive, mostly dependant on your needs. if you hc he's asexual then it's mostly on you to get him going or atleast express interest

vox has a higher sex drive but not crazy. dude mostly just likes to destress and fucking is a fun way to do that.

husk is average. but when he's feeling in the mood he makes it pretty clear.

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

alastor doesn't sleep after very often, unless you very specifically ask and he feels like you need him.

vox depending on the circumstances goes to sleep pretty quickly, like he'll do some basic aftercare and if he feels like you're fine he's dozing off.

husk is a sleeper but he'd make sure he stays awake long enough to make sure you're fine. since he's big on cuddling he'd be drifting off, murmuring in your ear and asking if you're okay before he finally goes to sleep.

[mentos-or-mentoes]

Hihi Pooks, I love your writing and was wondering if you would write for a Mitsuri!reader, like a reader who looks quite weak (IS FEMALE as mitsuri is a female) but is INSANELY strong and quite flexible (which breaks the stereotype of ‘women aren’t strong’). (Helluva boss x Mitsuri!reader) reader who can eat LOADS while staying fit bc yk she’s strong and exercises regularly but could definitely rival a sin with her strength and probably could do some magic with the ‘power of love’ typa shit

yes I mean Mitsuri from demon slayer.

Sorry it took me so long to do this! I had to move, then completely forgot I had a tumblr blog. And now after somewhat of a midlife crisis I have just realized that I infact DO have a tumblr blog. So ye, I apologise for keeping you waiting for so long

I.M.P & Stolas x Mitsuri!reader

Blitzo

First of all, this dude thinks your strength is HOT (take that however you want).

He thinks you're kind, yet knows that if you really wanted to, you could probably beat Lucifer himself in a fight.

Blitzo definetly can, will and has fucked around with your whip-like nichirin sword, but will stop the second you tell him to, well if its serious, if not then he'll keep goofing around untill he manages to destroy something.

He once walked in on you eating what can only be described as a 3 course meal that would be served at a thanksgiving dinner. He is both surprised, and horrified once he finds out that it is the normal amount of food for you because of your extremem muscle density.

Once tried to challenge you to an arm wrestle match just to see how he could compare, and that day he found out that you had an absolutely insane physical strength after winning with just your pinky finger. He will do everything to hide that fact

He has definetly said some stupid threat like ''My grilfriend will beat *hiccup* your ass if I *hiccup* don't'' to someone in a bar while drunk

Moxxie

Being the most realistic out of all of the employees at I.M.P, Moxxie is outright terrified of your strength.

He can and will try to keep you happy, already wanting to hide in fear at just the thought of you having a bad day.

No matter how much you re-assure him, its gonna take a while before he actually begins to think you wont kill someone whenever you feel angry.

He thinks its both impressive and weird how that you can eat so much food without even gaining as much as a miligram. He won't comment on that tho.

He is very curious as to how your weapon works. Y'know since its metal, yet can be used as a whip.

Millie

She thinks your weapon is incredibly cool, and encourages you to use it more often.

She's asked you about how well you think you'd do with other weapons as well.

Either way will still love you, regardless of your choice of weapon <3

You two are a power couple and you can't convince me otherwise (two strong women who can and will kick the ass of anyone who disrespects them in any way, shape or form).

She loves your power of love magic, especially because part of her thinks it becomes stronger with the love you two have for eachother

Loona

This legit feels like the fandom classic of shipping the two characters who are the exact opposite.

She secretly really loves your whole power of love thing, even if she says otherwise.

Has probably jokingly asked you to punch Blitzo one time because he really annoyed her.

She will blush MADLY if you decide to pick her up and just carry her around, but if its in private, she won't complain.

She loves seeing you use your strength in combat.

Stolas

Like Moxxie, Stolas is scared as fuck.

He can and will do EVERYTHING to avoid you when you're angry.

You can convince him, that you're not going to hurt him. But the last thing Stolas is trying to do is becoming bbq chicken because he decided to approach you while you were angry, so no risks

He likes how strong you are, makes him feel safe. Mostly because you'll kick the ass of anyone who dares try to hurt him.

He was surprised when your power of love wasn't some sort of magic to make others fall in love, but is quite literally love turned into raw power.

This 100% isn't worth the wait, sorry it took me so long. But hope it was, somewhat decent, am willing to do a part 2 tho

[moneymartin]

teen gf Shauna headcanons pleaseee

🐶 - losergf!shauna hcs

warnings: mostly fluff but a lil smut under the divider :p

a/n: i know u didn’t ask for loser but shauna shipman is soooo loser girlfriend u cannot tell me otherwise. kinda messy and trash… i’m so sleepy rn i’m writing this half awake nd lowk a lil drunk UGH

taglist: @deerlottie @ultrone

my brown eyed beautiful baby where do i even start.

def the most athletic yj i will stand by this till the day i die

MUSCLE MAMAAAA

rolls up the sleeves of her flannels so you can see her muscles pop 😮‍💨

not a gym freak though but she works her arms 100%

cuddlebug fosho

little spoon and you can argue with me about that all you want this girl loves to be held

when she big spoons though she’s burying your face into her chest all the time

she plays with your hair tho no doubt abt it

even when you’re cuddling her instead

super soft kisses all over you while you doze off

sleeps after you do just to make sure cause sometimes you end up sleeping a lil too hard and she needs to make sure you aren’t dead

well thats what she thinks.

wakes up early even though she sleeps the latest out of the both of you

when you sleep for way too long she ends up full on wrestling you until you wake up

music geek

she def loves the smashing pumpkins, radiohead, the cranberries, the cure, mazzy star, jeff buckley, pavement, the cardigans. artists and bands of that genre

had a walkman like nat’s that you guys share on walks together

also has a vinyl player that she keeps at hers so you could listen to music with her when you come over

writes about you in her journal while she listens to the music

also writes these cute little love letters for you and she’ll write what songs she listened to while writing

sleepovers all the time though she’s one of those girls

drives you all over the place too

no matter how far so that you know she truly loves you

she goes absolutely nuts when you’re wearing her clothes i fink

esp her flannels

the moment you’re seen wearing one she can only think about taking it off of you cause it looks so good 😞

loves when you wear her jersey too

or her letterman jacket

funny sock gal

wears the one w monster faces on em or something like that

south park socks… hmo

SMARTY PANTS

got accepted into brown for a reason

she’s always helping you with assignments in case they’re too hard

she runs through them so fast though it actually baffles you to how she can do it

book geek too

has probably read harry potter a million times

edgar allan poe is her main dude she def likes poems and stuff from him

genuinely has a momma instinct

before you even get sick she tells you to be careful with the cold

and you don’t listen.

so you do end up getting sick and she has to take care of you until you’re all better

babies you but is also teasing you cause you didn’t listen to her warnings about it 😭 she could tell beforehand that you were gonna get sick

unlike lottie i think shauna has the ability to cook and stuff like that

not a 5 star chef but she’s good enough for you

being touchy in her public is her thangggg

you guys are always touching somehow

pinky holding, interlocked arms, holding hands, her just grabbing your wrist. she’s always gotta hold you no matter whaaaat

not very possessive but definitely a jealous person

makes it known she’s jealous w her attitude

has those anger issues we all know it

is not afraid to make a scene in front of a bunch of people she will cuss someone out for even looking at you

but she’s just jealous cause she’s really insecure :( poor girl my god

she thinks that the people you talk to are better than she’ll ever be

you have to reassure her countless of times so she can feel better about herself cause she’s always questioning you abt it

she loves little make out seshes behind the bleachers

its def the thrill of being caught like she loves that so much 🥸

when she kisses you she isn’t rough i think she’s very gentle actually

caressing your jaw and cheeks so you know she’s there and its not just some dream 😭

loves sitting on your lap while kissing cause it makes her feel like she’s the one in charge

also cause your hands are always in the spots where she wants them without her having to ask

biting…

teeth marks EVERYWHERE!!!

dom fosho but that’s not relevant rn

during arguments this girl is ruthless

not because she wants to hurt you but it’s because she’s always bubbling up

bottles up everything cause she’s afraid people won’t listen to her

but she’ll apologize eventually after if it looks like whatever she said got to you

won’t mean anything she tells you she just gets so mad at everything cause she can’t express herself as well :(

she regrets it so fast too like she’s immediately saying sorry afterwards

def a lace girly

loves showing off her new sets for you…

red black and white are the favs

OUUHHH

whiny as fuck but also holds her noises in cause she thinks they’re embarrassing

PANTER AND GROANER FOR SUREEEE

switch i think

like if she really wanted to she could top you but she’d rather be a power bottom

have you ride her strap or whatever…

its blue.

loves when you eat her out though cause she gets to pull on your hair

makes you talk her through it and when you’re topping but when she tops shes SO bold

she loves when you praise her thats the only thing she wants to hear from you during it

makes you kiss around her tits for sure

thats where she always wants you to be

when she’s jealous you’re constantly asking if she’s okay which leads into an argument

meaning that it’ll probably lead into really hot angry sex from her

the car scene really spoke to me

initiates everything too

anyways i’m done i’m so tired

[supernova41st]

What about the mercs with a fem SO that talks in brainrot sometimes? Would really want medic in there but it's up to you!

Mercs x Brainrot!Reader

A/n: WHY IS THE TF2 FANDOM SO OBSESSED WITH THIS IDEA? 😭 I SAW ANOTHER FIC ABT THIS AND TWO REQUESTS ASKING FOR THIS PLS

warnings: Brainrot.. a lot of images being used, it’s a shit post who cares tbh

Scout

He’s into it too

Guys it’s scout

“Scout ilysm ur so nonchalant <33”

“Thanks babe ^^ I know I’m pretty alpha”

(Oh btw the alpha thing isn’t a joke he unironically listens to alpha male podcasts)

In the middle of spy’s serious moments you’d both lip sync ‘you are my sunshine’ to each other when he’s not looking

“what the bloody hell are you guys doing..”

“…perhaps itz a coping mechanizm zince scout doesn’t have a father?”

Medic really had to take it there

The ‘fatherless child’ meme was a coping mechanism for him tho

“I’m a fatherless child, of course I have abandonment issues”

“Um babe? Idk if you should joke abt that 😚”

“Na it just makes me more sigma”

You guys love to fuck with the blu team sm with your shenanigans, esp sniper!!

Scout would have his bat and you would have whatever weapon you have with you and yell “skibidi” before jumping him

Here’s something he DEFINITELY didn’t learn from you 💯

creds to urwhouchoose2b on Tik tok

Engineer

He tries so hard to understand

Whenever you show him a meme he does the classic old person holding phone away from eyes thing

Yk the

“Ok so this is the ‘im nothing like y’all’ fish”

“alrighty, and this is..?”

“Oh that’s the Freddy five bear meme, see it’s funny cuz his name is actually ‘Freddy fazbear’ but they got his name wrong so like.. yeah”

“…I’m not sure what I’m ‘posed to say ‘bout this, but I think you belong in a looney bin”

Once he had a project that had the word “alpha” in it and he hated mentioning it to you cuz yk

“giggle”

“…what?”

“Skibidi alpha”

“What??”

Demo man

HE LOVES IT LMFAOO

he’s so energetic esp when he’s drunk so he’s happy to have someone he can share that energy with

Y’all know that “Scotland forever” meme

Well you screamed it after another victory as a joke, but when demo heard it he was confused but also excited?

“SCOTLAND FOREVAA”

“OH? ALRIGHT THEN, SCOTLAND FOREVER 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿”

cut to him butt chugging beers

Demo doesn’t get it but he has the spirit

He’ll be right there replicating the TikTok audios after taking the point

Dude is drunk 99% of the time so he’s never bothered to ask what any of this means, he’s just in it for the fun

Once you dragged him to the bathroom since he drake too many beers (shocker) but he didn’t want to do it in the toilet cuz he didn’t want to ‘hurt his dear skibidi’

“Cmon demo you have to puke it out!!”

“Noo, take me to the jawbox I don’t wanna hert me skibidi toilet”

“Oh god what have I done”

I think you rotted his brain a little too much

Spy

Don’t even get him started.

He’s so sick of your antics it’s not even funny

“Guys we all have to remember that it’s not about the money.. it’s about the skibidi.”

Passionately grabs spy’s shoulder

“How have you made it this far in life”

Unlike engie, he really doesn’t want to know about it

Especially during missions

“lol spy you’re so devious ASF”

“shhh, enough blabbering!!”

“You are not carti 😶‍🌫️😶‍🌫️❌‼️‼️‼️”

You make fun of him a bunch, he can’t think of a single moment where you took him seriously

“Y/n get off the cart!!”

“If we were in Fortnite I’d have higher ground + double pump.”

[meteor752]

Some silly Odyhermes ideas:

While I see Ody as bottom with Zeus or Poseidon, I think he'd definitely be a switch with Hermes 👀

Odysseus doesn't know that Hermes is his great grandfather, Hermes thinks that Ody actually knows, so he doesn't say anything. Ody realizes the truth only when Hermes tells him a funny story about Autolycus, his demigod, shapeshifting son, and Ody is like "what? that was my grandfather??". Hermes is just confused for a minute.

Hermes is really possessive, despite his silly guy persona. His blood (ichor?) boils when Calypso throws herself at Ody. He gets angry seeing the rivarly between Poseidon and Odysseus, whether it's shippy or not. And he gets annoyed, when Ody talks about Penelope, or spends time with her. He tries to somewhat tolerate her, but he does poor job at it.

Ody doesn't believe in Hermes' story, about baby Hermes making a lyre out of a turtle, and killing the immortal cattle of Apollo. That is, until Hermes "jokingly" wants to show Ody how he did it. He drops it seeing Ody getting flashbacks about Eury killing the cattle. He may be a little shit, but he still cares for Ody, and doesn't want to see him distressed 🥺

Ody usually can't see Hermes' eyes (typical hc in this fandom lol). When he does, it's either when Hermes gets really serious about some topic, or when Hermes is acting like a silly guy in love, making him lose his helmet, when his guard is down. Ody thinks his (probably inhuman) eyes are pretty, but he won't say that.

Hermes, despite everything, is a really sweet boyfriend. Whenever Ody tells Athena about Hermes, she gets snnoyed. Hermes would talk about how cute and smart Ody is, when he's with Hades or Persephone, doing his job.

I thinks that's all of these? I just really like this rarepair 👉👈

How did I become the person people come to for Odyhermes things. Like I don’t mind but like still huh

(Also, I wanna make it clear that while I do love Odyhermes, I love it in like a slightly unhealthy context, with a clear power imbalance and a very obsessive Hermes. That shit’s my jam people)

I once saw someone say that Hermes has the vibe of either a mean dom or a bratty sub, and like I couldn’t agree more, and I say both. He’d probably enjoy it a lot when Ody takes control (even tho he’s being a menace about it), but he also likes putting his mortal in his place

Poor Ody would probably have a bit of a crisis and possibly be a bit weirded out over the fact that Hermes is related to him, and like poor silly guy just has no idea why because his family is basically just incest, he has no idea that it’s seen as bad for mortals. (Ody has even more of a crisis when he realises he’s fucking related to both the Cyclops and Poseidon)

Dude I liiiiiiiive for possessive Hermes (case that wasn’t clear lol). Especially him being extremely jealous at basically every god who interacts with his mortal. He’s more fine with it when it’s other mortals, since he sees the majority of them as “lesser”, but Penelope does get on his nerves occasionally.

Hermes does not understand the concept of PTSD, or why sometimes when he does certain things or mention certain people his mortal gets all distressed and upset, but he does try and correct himself when he can. Maybe he should ask Dionysus about that

I imagine the first time Ody saw Hermes eyes it was by like, complete accident, like they were both a lil drunk and Hermes accidentally knocked into a low hanging branch of a tree, and his lil helmet just flew off, and the messenger god was to busy giggling to even notice. Despite their haunting emptiness (I have always headcanoned Hermes eyes to be just the sclera, which is why he tends to hide them, he thinks they look boring), Ody finds them strangely beautiful. So if Hermes allows his helmet to come off a little more often when with his mortal, or if he “accidentally” forgets to put it on sometimes, well neither of them comment on it.

Oh Hermes will just never shut up about Odysseus. The messenger god is a gossip and a chatter box, so he usually fills the silence in some way, no matter who he’s with, though it’s usually discussions about the happenings on mount Olympus. The moment he met Ody tho, he was all that mattered to him. When he wasn’t watching his mortal, he was chattering about him to anyone who would listen, which is for the most part not a lot of people, as one can only stand Hermes for so long. But even his usual conversation partners, Apollo, Hestia, Thanatos, Iris, Dionysus, grew kinda tired of hearing about this one mortal and his escapades. Wing boy don’t care tho, he will hover after his targets, chittering away, until they either attack him or try to rip their own ears off. That won’t stop him though.

Odyhermes shippers, feel very free to rant to me about the ship. This is a safe space and I love having you here, even tho I’m confused. We’re scarce but we’re strong!

[lookingoutforstarrs]

nsfw alphabet with hamzah!

cw: uh like everything very nsfw

aftercare- biiiiig aftercare man. he makes sure you’re all good and gets you water. he needs to be HELDDD loves to just lay in your arms after the deed. eventually falls asleep from you rubbing his back

body part- his favorite body part of his is probably his arms. he loves when you hold onto his biceps, it makes him feel all manly lol

he doesn’t really have a favorite for you, he loves it all lol. lives your thighs and hips and if you workout he looooooves your muscles. thinks they’re really hot.

cum- LOVES to cum in you and watch it drip out (slight breeding kink lols) but if you’re not using birth control then definitely in your mouth or on your stomach.

dirty secret- steals your panties. this man is a perv 100% and will steal your panties to jerk off to them. and he acts all surprised when you notice that some pairs have gone missing. he be all like “whaaaat thats wiiilddddd”

experience- he had never had sex before you. he had kissed one girl in high-school but nothing after that so you have to break him in a little

favorite position- looves when you ride him. like lives for it. but if you’re tired that day he doesn’t mind missionary!

goofy- tries to be to calm his own nerves but it just comes across like he’s nervous (which he most definitely is). depends on the day really. if yall are drunk/stoned he is really goofy. always giggling.

hair- he’s well groomed. very conscious about it at first but then he knows you dont rlly care. he doesnt care how shaven you are as long as he gets some ass lol

intimacy- again, he starts off goofy but then hes like “oh they fr want to fuck me” and he locks in😭😭 loves for you to look him in the eye while riding him. also loves to make out while feeling each other up.

jack off- he jerks off regularly but then he meets you and he’s horny 24/7 so he does it wayyyy more often. even before y’all start dating he’s thinking of you and touching himself :((

kink- biiiiiiiiiiig praise kink, but mostly receiving. he needs to be told he’s making you feel good, it makes him 10000% hornier.

location- preferably the bedroom but doesn’t mind car sex. he likes watching the windows fog up lolz

motivation- anything you do. like anything. but usually its when he sees you concentrating on one thing really hard, he pictures that you’re looking at him like that and it gets him all hot and bothered

NO- no gross shit. also doesn’t like tying you down or restricting you.

oral- he’s a munch and i will die on this hill. i’ve said this before but he could spend hours between your thighs. he gets off on it. when he gets head though he’s a crier 100%. constant rambling because it feels too good to keep quiet.

pace- you have to go slow with him the first couple of times so he doesn’t cum too fast :((. it all depends on how fast you want to go tho! he will hang on the edge for hours just for you.

quickie- not big on them. prefers that you take your time

risk- he will freak the freak out if someone catches him subbing. needs people to think he’s manly.

stamina- needs a lil break after but can do 4-5 rounds a night. again, he will sit between your legs for years so he only stops when you’re ready.

toy- loves when you use your vibrator on him. he never thought it would feel so good. also the pervy part of him likes to watch you use it on yourself

unfair- he’s not much of a tease, he’ll give you what you want when you want it. but he loooooves when you tease him.

volume- LOUD. constantly rambling nonsense and cant keep quiet. whimpers when you tease him and MOAAAAANNNNNSSS.

wild card- loves dry humping SO MUCH.

x-ray- a good 6-7 inches. not too much not too little, and he knows how to use it

yearning- he is always ready to fuck dude. before yall start dating he wants you so bad it physically hurts

ZZZ- like i said for the aftercare part, he makes sure you’re taken care of then falls asleep in your arms.

[sakuralovespossums]

Deathklok x Fem Reader with Pixie-Cut Hair

(Or the author realizing she has a neck kink)

Nathan Explosion

The image of Nathan with his long hair next to you with your short one is too cute

He finds it so adorable and loves how soft it feels whenever he pets you or brushes your hair (he’ll never admit it tho cuz it’s not brutal)

You don’t have to hear him say it tho to know how much he loves your hair. Whenever he walks past you, he affectionately ruffles your hair and you blush at how his large warm hand almost engulfs your head

Pickles the Drummer

Likes to drunkenly nibble on your exposed neck whenever you cuddle

His nickname for you is coconut-head

If he’s really drunk or high, he’ll sometimes mistaken you for a (pretty hot) guy

Really likes sniffing your hair cuz it helps him calm down

Toki Wartooth

He also finds your pixie haircut just so adorable!!

A tiny part of him is upset that he can’t make braids out of your hair since it’s too short. But his love for it overruns it

Growing up, he never saw much women with short hair like yours since, according to his family’s strict beliefs, women having short hair was seen as “whorish”. So seeing you embrace your short hair really made him happy

He can’t braid your hair, but he still decorates it with hair clips and little bows. He also loves how fluffy it feels under his calloused fingers

He really likes surprise attacking you from behind by pecking the back of your neck with little kisses. Sometimes he leaves a quick kiss when no one’s looking. Other times, he’ll just grab you from behind and pepper it with a barrage of kisses as you giggle and squirm in his grip

He just really loves how soft and vulnerable your neck looks totally not a kink of his

He needs to claim it or else how will others know you are his and his alone?!

Skwisgaar Skwigelf

He stares at you for a few seconds with his typical cold gaze before bringing his hand up to stroke your hair and plant a gentle kiss on your head

He’s internally screaming at how precious you are

Will blow onto the back of your neck, causing you to jump and look behind to see him strumming away on his guitar like nothings happened

He definitely leaves hickeys there

Just imagine him grabbing onto the back of your neck whenever your talking to another guy or you guys are being interviewed (a subtle way of showing who you belong to)

He finds it cute how your short locks curl around your face

Makes him wanna cup your face and leave kisses all over your cheeks as you whine at him to cut it out

William Murderface

He tells you that you look like a guy and that you should grow it out since he doesn’t want people to think he’s dating a dude

Meanwhile he always rubs his face against your hair every time you sleep or cuddle together

You just make a jab back at him about his own weird hair style

Murderface secretly does love your short hair and thinks it’s what really adds to your beauty. He’s just also really insecure about how others might see him and def has some internalized biphobia

If anyone else ever calls you a guy or makes fun of your hair tho, he will throw hands

You like how his mustache tickles your neck as he kisses it

[socra-time]

Socra’s Naruto Liveblog, Ep. 121-130

Ep 121:

-I’d like to start my commentary by pointing out that the thumbnail for this episode was Akamaru peeing on Kiba’s face

-geez how far did the other twin go to wash his eyes out bc how did he not hear any of the screaming that was going on

-Kiba sitting and petting Akamaru in what could potentially be their last moments is making me sad:(

-Akamaru is so GODDAMN CUTE😭

-Kiba being raised in an all-female household of dog ladies is kind of a peak character detail. He truly is a boyfailure in a family of girlbosses

-anyways I want to know more about his mom and sister. I’m starved for cool female characters

-also how come Kiba’s sister gets to have three whole doggos

-I think it’s kinda hilarious how Choji’s backstory during his fight revealed his struggles being excluded and his history with Shikamaru and then meanwhile Kiba’s is just like “he’s just a dude who loves his dog”. I mean I gotta respect it (because I, too, am a dude who loves her dog), but it’s funny

-I want to see more of Kimimaro’s kekkei genkai. So far his fighting amounts to basically having two “swords” and being really good at melee combat but I know there’s gotta be more impressive-looking stuff in his arsenal

-oh well I got my wish to see more of Kimimaro’s powers. Bone powers are actually pretty cool (and also I could definitely see Orochimaru using them)

-oops I lowkey forgot about Shikamaru’s fight tbh

-I like that Kiba’s battle turned from “actual battle” to “get away and avoid being killed”. It’s a switchup from the other four battles and puts more of a focus on trickery and survival skills

-Tayuya and Shikamaru’s mid-battle banter is very amusing to me and idk why

Ep 122:

-I’m actually very curious to see how Shikamaru handles this battle considering that he is very much not an offensive fighter

-I like how Shikamaru thinks of his battles like shogi games

-my heart is too weak to handle seeing hurt Akamaru

-I will say that all the transitions between the different fights/scenes are kinda jarring, especially because some of the scenes are only a few seconds long

-oooh I like Tayuya’s second stage form

-oh Shikamaru CAN use shadow strangle jutsu. Idk why he hasn’t used it before tho, but maybe he hadn’t learned it yet?

-okay Shikamaru is officially a badass. I feel like that was too easy tho, so Tayuya still probably has something up her sleeve

Ep 123:

-Naruto respectfully your “spam shadow clones” strategy is really not working

-shoutout to Kiba for actually having survival skills (Naruto could never lmao)

-ohhhhh god Naruto finally coming face-to-face with Sasuke is making me anxious

-Sasuke’s deranged laughter is really stupid-sounding ngl

-also Sasuke stepping on a leaf was uh. Not subtle.

-LEE IS HERE OMG FUCK IT UP MY SON MY LEGEND MY GOAT

-I know Lee takes over but damn Naruto’s fight with Kimimaro was such a nothingburger of a fight. Like legit nothing happened

-Lee catching Kimimaro’s blade was badass as hell

-I love how Genma still has the needle in his mouth even when he’s in the fucking hospital

-oh my god I love Gai so fucking much hfhshsgshwhshdhdhwgdggw. His voice actor is also slaying as always

-I love how Tsunade and Gai keep saying “elixir” instead of “alcohol”. Censorship go brrrr

-LMFAO NOT LEE AND KIMIMARO PAUSING THE FIGHT SO LEE CAN TAKE HIS MEDICINE IM FUCKING WHEEZINGGGGG

-(also Kimimaro just going along with Lee’s request was incredible)

-oh my god drunk Lee is fucking hilarious. Also the whole “unhinged combat monster when drunk” thing is such a peak character detail

Ep 124:

-I bet Lee’s voice actor had so much fun doing the drunk Lee scenes

-oop Shikamaru is kinda losing his battle now

-damn Kiba is really just trucking along with multiple stomach stab wounds

-ohhhh my god drunk Lee just keeps getting funnier and funnier

-also the little story of Team Gai dealing with drunk Lee was great

-god Lee’s fights are just such a joy to watch. The fight choreo is always so snappy and fun

-I love Lee going on a mini tangent about underage drinking while being drunk off his ass

-also I love that when Lee sobers up and sees Kimimaro with his ribs sticking out he’s just like “wtf happened to you”

-damn why is this Kiba versus the twins fight turning into a horror movie

-Ukon just casually wearing Kiba’s jacket is kinda funny to me but is also just a dick move

-YOOOOO IT’S THE SAND HOMIES THEY LOOK SO BADASS

-it’s funny that all of the foreshadowing we got of the sand siblings coming was just Kiba occasionally smelling them

-also hell yeah Gaara got an outfit change!

Ep 125:

-I love that Gaara is just standing there with his arms crossed while Kimimaro attacks him

-it’s interesting seeing Lee and Gaara on the same side after Gaara almost ended Lee’s whole career as a ninja. And the fact that Lee doesn’t hold a grudge is crazy but also is very Lee

-I live for Temari roasting Shikamaru. Put him in his place queen

-YAY A KANKURO FIGHT! He’s definitely someone who I wanna see more of

-oh my god they are NOT holding back with Kankuro’s murder puppets. The Iron Maiden trap and the blood leaking out of it was INSANE

-also I wonder how strong the material Kankuro’s puppets are made of is. It looks like wood but clearly it’s stronger than that

-Temari is girlbossing so goddamn hard. Her just casually destroying the entire upper section of the forest was badass

-I feel like Temari turning around and grinning snarkily at Shikamaru when she says “pretty good, huh?” is the exact moment he starts catching feelings

Ep 126:

-Gaara and Lee are such a weird mix of personalities lol

-Gaara’s face is so deadpan while he blocks Kimimaro’s attacks

-I’m actually not sure how I feel about Gaara’s dub voice. Sometimes it fits and sometimes it really doesn’t

-basically the only word Naruto has spoken for the last couple scenes he’s been in is “SAAAAAASUKE”

-the abrupt cut from Naruto chasing Sasuke into the dark to Kimimaro’s backstory was really weird

-Kimimaro kinda deserved better, he really never had a chance at a normal life

-also WOW Gaara forced Kimimaro to activate his cursed mark SUPER quickly

-Gaara is kinda popping off in this episode

-this is so off-topic but seeing Kimimaro’s clan made me think about how I love when the clans in the show have certain identifying features like facial markings or styles of clothing. Ughhhhh I could talk about my headcanons about clan cultures forever

-WTF ZABUZA AND HAKU CAMEO????? Jesus that was so long ago but rest in peace guys

-I know I’ve said it a million times but I love Orochimaru’s theme so much, every time it comes in it’s epic as hell

-Orochimaru pleaseeeee stop indoctrinating every traumatized child you come across

-oh Kimimaro’s second stage form is uh. Interesting.

Ep 127:

-god Gaara is such a badass

-aw Gaara saved Lee:)

-okay Kimimaro using his spine as a weapon goes hard as fuck

-the Shukaku shield looks stupid

-KABUTO GET OFF MY SCREEN IM TRYING TO WATCH GAARA FIGHT

-Orochimaru is suuuuuch a cult leader

-I know it doesn’t mean anything but it was interesting to me that when Kimimaro fought the Sound 4, Jirobo and Kidomaru got knocked out but Tayuya and Sakon didn’t

-completely unrelated to anything but the color of Gaara’s eyes is very nice

-Jesus Christ that’s a lot of goddamn bones

-I really can’t say enough how much I hate the way Kabuto talks

-I do feel sad for Kimimaro. He’s definitely comparable to Haku, though Haku’s story resonated with me more

Ep 128:

-wow Sasuke both looks and sounds twice as edgy as he did before

-also given that I know that Sasuke doesn’t end up coming back with Naruto, it’s crazy to me how little time Team 7 was actually together. Maybe it’s because I’ve been bingeing the show but it feels like it’s hardly been any time at all

-damn Sasuke really is out here dissing the Konoha kids when several of them were fully willing to die for him

-I know Sasuke is a super traumatized kid and all but ughhhhh he’s pissing me off

-Naruto’s voice actor is doing a good job this episode, you can really feel the intensity of his emotion

-meanwhile I’m not sold on Sasuke’s voice actor’s performance here. Part of it is definitely the writing, but it’s definitely kinda cringey

-like half of this episode is flashbacks. I definitely think flashbacks are good to show during this climactic confrontation, but I feel like they needed to be better about picking and choosing which flashbacks to show and how long to show them for

-I didn’t realize before but it seems like the high-collared shirts Sasuke wears are an Uchiha thing?

-its very sad to me how different Sasuke’s personality probably would’ve been if his clan was still alive. He was so much happier and less reserved as a little kid 😭

-damn Sasuke was straight-up gonna burn Naruto alive

Ep 129:

-I usually don’t comment on the intros but I just gotta point out that Neji and Choji are the only Konoha kids missing from the intro. They really were trying to make viewers believe they were dead lol

-I still can’t get over how Sasuke got ALL of his mom’s genes and none of his dad’s

-also I still don’t like that Itachi doesn’t really sound any different in Sasuke’s flashbacks

-congratulations to Sasuke’s dad for being an extremely mediocre parent. Still better than Hinata’s dad tho.

-(belated shoutout to Choji’s dad for actually being a good father)

-oh shittttt there’s a mystery afoot! I wasn’t expecting to get some lore behind Itachi at this point but I’m very curious about whatever was going on with him and Shisui. Also for some reason I DO believe that he didn’t kill Shisui.

Ep 130:

-Naruto really needs to try to smack Sasuke with a rasengan or something

-yay more Sasuke/Itachi lore! I’m simultaneously very sad about it and very intrigued

-I also like that we’re getting a little lore about the Uchiha clan in general

-bruh why was little Sasuke trying to practice his fire style jutsu in the RAIN

-when Sasuke’s dad started walking away after Sasuke successfully did the fireball jutsu I was so ready to call him an asshole but he actually was pretty nice about it. I guess he gets to keep his title as a mediocre parent

-also Sasuke’s mom seems very nice

-okay Naruto time to go apeshit pls

[bitch-nick]

random nellis headcanons pt 1

- ellis talks in his sleep and snores rlly bad, whereas nick is what i call a vampire sleeper (stays on his back all night and barely moves, is a light sleeper/struggles to even fall asleep, etc) which means most of the time they can’t actually sleep together. more so nick can’t fall asleep with ellis lmfao but they’ll cuddle until ellis knocks out then nick sneaks away, tho thankfully it’s not a problem cuz ellis sleeps hard throughout the entire night so he doesn’t even notice (if he did he’d be sad :c)

- ellis definitely has more stamina than nick. even though nick may act like ellis’ youthful demeanor is annoying, he eventually starts to feel it rubbing off on him. sometimes being with him makes him feel younger. being in his mid thirties doesn’t make him old at all, however with his previous and current lifestyle he definitely feels older than he is. spending time with ellis makes him feel like hes in his twenties again (in every context c;)

- nick is kinda kinky, ellis not so much however he’s always down to try new things!! nick is the perfect person for this lol. i feel like they would experiment a lot, and eventually ellis would develop his own kinks. he comes off as an oral fixation and choking kinda guy but specifically being on the receiving end. nick on the other hand.. he pervert he likes almost everything lmao

- ellis is a lover of all animals, wild and domesticated. nick on the other hand not so much other than cats. i feel like everything would irritate him/he just doesn’t have any interest in them. cats tho?? he would never admit it, but he’s a cat dude for sure

- i like to imagine in a normal life au ellis would be the breadwinner while nick a housewife LOL ellis would work at the shop while nick stays home and does all the domestic duties. this is mainly because nick doesn’t want to get a normal job and ellis won’t let him con lol so he kinda has no choice but to stay home. ellis tried to teach him his mechanic ways but nick wasn’t interested lol

- going more into the male wife nick au, he wouldn’t hate it. he’d take it so seriously, making sure their house was the nicest on the block, that their house was spotless and ellis would come home to delicious elaborate meals every night. he’s good at what he does however i feel like he would have ocd about it and it would start to affect their relationship in a way. eventually ellis would have to sit him down and be like nick.. i grew up in a trailer park full of junkies and workin girls.. we are livin like kings for the love of christ please Chill Out

- if they ended up having a kid nick would absolutely be a helicopter parent. ellis the complete opposite. nick leaves ellis in charge of their kiddo and comes back to them about to do flips off the roof into the pool. nick crashed out so hard he popped a blood vessel in his eye

- if they had a girl i feel like she would develop more of ellis’ personality traits/habits/quirks. however if they had a boy i feel like he would be a mix of both of them and that’s.. not exactly a good thing LOL he would be unstoppable..

- them drunk together is Not Ideal.. ellis gets super happy and chaotic and dumb while drunk, whereas in the beginning nick is happy, but is quick to get angry and wanna fight. when this happens instead of trying to calm nick down or diffuse the situation, ellis instigates and will always fight besides him lolol

- if the world ends up going back to normal, they actually do get those matching tattoos c^:

[bobosbillionsknives]

(not shipping content)

It's one of my biggest headcanons ever that Vash does NOOOT like his birthday dude I just can't believe it...Knives however. Biggest birthday enjoyer ever. He is the special birthday boy. 🤗🤗🤗

Knives usually leaves Vash alone but Vash KNOWS Knives is going to make an effort to show up on their birthday and it stresses him out so bad. Especially if the July incident was on their birthday...that would leave horrible memories for him. 😭 Not to mention how painful remembering his first birthday with Rem would be. Plus Knives would act so bitchy about it like wooow dont even want to see your own brother on your birthday wow. I get it I'm just the worst ever ..🥀 Vash would be so over it.

I feel so strongly that Vash is the introvert while Knives is the extrovert. Knives self isolates out of fear and disgust of humans but he secretly thrives while talking to others. Especially if they have strong opinions he can argue against (definitely a debate bro). If Knives had a normal childhood he would've loved big crowds, he has absolutely no social awareness or shame . Or filter. He'd talk to anyone who'd listen. Knives drives himself absolutely insane with his own isolation. All he really wants is social connection, something he's convinced himself is impossible with humans. That's why he's so fixated on getting Vash to stay, he feels Vash is the only person he can actually talk to. Vash on the other hand, would do anything for 5 minutes alone. He is constantly pushing away Milly, Meryl, and even Wolfwood. He cannot let anyone know him beyond his silly guy persona. He especially doesn't like being celebrated (doesn't think he deserves it. 😂😂😂) He is constantly trying to skip out on the parties towns people throw for him, leaving without saying goodbye. (He does like getting drunk tho...makes talking easier) He'd never EVER share his birthday with anyone. Especially not Wolfwood or the girls. Knives however, would tell EVERYONE !!! (like how the entire Gung Ho Gun knew Knives had a brother, but Meryl had no idea Vash did. I think Knives loves talking about himself and his tragic past, painting himself as the forever victim to absolutely anyone who'd listen. To Vashes absolute horror 😭.) Vash is constantly drained from forcing himself to perform socially. He loves people and talking to them but he just needs like. 8 hours of alone time to properly function. That's why he gets so bitchy with everyone sometimes lol. She just needs a naaaaap omg 🤦‍♂️. But he feels guilty for being snippy and tired so he'll force himself to be social anyway. Which makes it worse. Love hiiim !!!! 😍 Either way they're both hurting themselves when they behave like this.

Knives is definitely the yapper while Vash just listens. I feel like Vash would appreciate not having that pressure to constantly respond. Even if Knives can be overbearing, I do think they enjoy each other's company. When they aren't... trying to murder each other. Nobody knows him like Knives does, it would almost be relieving not having to pretend to be happy all the time. He can perfectly morally justify being as mean to Knives as he wants to be !! And he wouldn't admit it, but he does enjoy listening to Knives complain about nothing. He thinks it's funny. Knives is just happy to be with someone he's deemed worthy of his time. He views Vash as his equal, someone he actually trusts to confide in. They are the opposite and also the same in every way life is so beautiful I love these guys.

It would also just be such a cute subversion of audience expectation if Knives, the self proclaimed people hater, was a people person. I think that's sooo interesting and makes so much sense with the context of his desperation for the approval of humans when he was a child. I think kid Knives would've tried to argue that celebrating something everyone goes through is pointless, but would love all the attention anyway. Even be a bit resentful that it was Vashes birthday too if he didn't seem to appreciate the attention as much. As he got older hed mellow out and warm up to the idea of having a birthday and sharing it. Mostly as an excuse to talk to Vash and make everything about himself again. Lol. Plus I think he likes organizing parties. His dream is to have that sweet 16 fantasy the humans in the old world used to have. He actually wants to be normal is the thing. They both do.

[skyj80]

JAGAN BTRTV HEADCANON

Headcanon that Logan and James have kissed like A BUNCH of times. They're not even romantically involved (yet) And they haven't realized how often they have kissed until the band was doing an interview a few years post canon and they got on the subject of how they've all kissed at least once due to dares. They go over the circumstances for each and in real time Logan and James are like “wow we’ve kissed…a lot.” They're listing the times and each time they are like “and then…” Carlos and Kendall are like “AND THEN??? There's more???” Here are the examples:

1) James was Logan’s first kiss. When Logan was reaching 15 he was kinda insecure that all his friends have had their first kiss, but he hasn't. James offers to be his first kiss so he can get it over with. Logan’s next kiss was lowkey disappointing cause James gave him high standards being the first. (james was also pleasantly surprised) 

2) Spin the bottle. Simple. (this is the one Kendall and Carlos actually knew about)

3-4) (first LA kiss) Logan was sick and didn't have to go to school. James also wanted to miss school so he asked Logan to kiss him so he could get sick. Logan called him gross and rambled about germs. James pouted and Logan caved. (the first kiss wasn't long enough to get him sick...hence 3 AND 4)

5) After James and Camille kissed, James says “hey, I know how to make it even. You kiss me!” Logan's like “Oh okay.” They kiss and about two minutes later Logan is like “Wait…that didn't make any sense.” no regrets tho. (it made perfect sense to james lol)

6) Guitar dude (does homeboy have a name??? Imma call him GD) and James are talking to a palm woods kid who is distressed over a kiss. James and GD are trying to assure them kisses are no big deal. James decides to prove it by calling Logan over, kissing him, and then turning back to others like “see?” Logan just kinda stares unbothered and asks “why?” James is like “to prove a point.” Logan shrugs and responds “oh okay see you back at the crib.” 

7) (starting here all the kisses take place post canon) Logan was helping James rehearse for something. There was a kiss in it. James asks Logan to help him out on two separate occasions. (also at this point in the interview they realize "damn we need two hands to count this shit") 

8) Truth or dare. Easiest dare ever tbh.

9) Mistletoe. Who are they to deny the sanctity of tradition?

10) (This is the def most eyebrow raising one 🏳️‍🌈⁉️) They're at a party and there is a celebrity who is very interested in Logan that just won't leave him alone. Logan says he is taken (lie) and the stranger doesnt believe it. James, who was on his phone and not paying attention, is grabbed by Logan. He overhears the end of the convo. Logan wants James to say something along the lines of “oh yeah Logan is def in a relationship,” but instead he's like “Yup! That's me! Logan’s boyfriend!” cause he's a doofus. But, James LOCKS IN and stays by Logan all night. At one point the stranger is kinda following them around from a distance and feeling watched is making Logan feel uncomfortable. James is gonna say something to them, but Logan doesn't want him to cause a scene, so instead James death glares at the person from across the room, cups Logan face and asks “may I?” Logan nods and it was definitely their longest and most passionate kiss. Half way through James opens his eyes and confidently glares at the person. They were drunk and never really talked about it again lol. (At this point in the interview they're like damn we’re at double digits and we still have 2 left) ((and they just describe this kiss as “and then once at a party”))

11) James put too much chapstick on and when Logan asks to borrow some, James tells him to kiss him because he had too much on. 

12) Logan did something for James. James is like “Ugh I could kiss you.” Logan jokingly tells him to do it. He does. 

By the end of it, they're all laughing at the absurd quantity of how many times they've kissed. Carlos and Kendall are like "I think y'all need to have a conversation."

Im writing a fic for this! Here

[lonelystarrs]

𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐨𝐮 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐞𝐢 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

𝐵𝑎𝑟𝑜𝑢 𝑆ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑒𝑖 𝑥 𝐹𝑒𝑚𝑅𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑒𝑟 | nsfw with some sfw | 18+ MDNI |

So, this is inspired by the ask I got about Barou having a Primal Kink.

☽. Hmm, you know idk… I can see that but think it would be mild and more focused on an just the alpha mindset in dom’ing. Can’t see him growling much, it I defo think he’s gonna drool when he gets feral. he’s gonna be deep grunting and aggressive with his words when he’s feeling good. ‘Fuck’ is gonna be used a lot and he will growl out words, not noises. Absolutely use the terms he’s your alpha, your king. But think it’s more psychological for him, like he gets off on getting his mindset like you’re a mate and his alpha.

☽. You are gonna need a safe word with him, maybe even a back up safe word.

☽. Really think he would give the perfect balance of degradation and praise though. Absolutely loves close sex so you’re consumed by him or forcing you to watch yourself, he’s gonna have his mouth to your ear talking/grunting right in it. Perfect blend of rough but loving.

☽. Don’t think he’s a big kisser in general, won’t do it much during sex either. Big on forehead kisses though, putting you in a choke hold and pulling you in, kissing temple, forehead.. if lips he’s gonna pull hair back, cup back of your neck and pull you up. -slow but rough kisser as well, has some weird combination of gentle when he bites your lip.

☽. he’s gonna be possessive around other guys (cough* Nagi, Isagi and you aren’t going near Oliver so don’t even acknowledge you know he exists *cough) but not obsessive or controlling at all outside the house.

☽. I don’t think he would like being ridden, only way you’re on top is him allowing it and jack hammering up into you whilst just letting you hold onto him for dear life if he hasn’t pinned your hands behind your back.

☽. Prone Bone, doggy, missionary and mating press.

☽. After care KING. Not words, but physical. He’s gonna clean you up, whilst he’s doing it he’ll check you over to see if he’s gone too far but he will act like he isn’t looking, he’s gonna bring you pudding when he gets himself one if he’s proud of you handling him. But he isn’t saying a word. don’t expect spooning, but you’ll be pulled into his chest with an arm around your shoulder or waist, fingers mindlessly tracing patterns… other arm behind his head and he will be trying to act cool about it.

☽. He has pudding after good, rough sex. You know he’s had a good session when his cheeks puffed out from shovelling pudding into his mouth, sat on the sofa.

☽. Definitely has a size kink (body wise loves seeing how small you get under him and everyone would), but I don’t think he gloats about his body or dick size though tbh… I think he’s pretty flippant/humble about it he doesn’t need to brag. Knows he is a huge guy (in every way this dude 1000% has a dick for days, horse cock ahoyyyy!) he has the height & the build… so he’s gonna make anyone look small under him…

☽. I think he would like watching too, more videos than just watching himself in the mirror. Like seeing himself get you in a state and all dick drunk, the visual of both of you would boost his ego and get him feral. Probably to challenge himself to go even harder. As said earlier, forcing you to watch in the mirror whilst he watches absolutely his thing keeps eye contact in the reflection too…. Oh man I gotta write a fic on this now 😈 this is all giving me ideas. 👑

☽. Speaking of hard -he fucks hard but slow, he wants to be watched. He’s precise as well, he’s thinking about everything and he’ll get nasty fast when reaching his end tho.

☽. Orgasm control? None -don’t think he’s a huge tease and he will just want you over stimulated and have as many as he can drag out, he ain’t delaying it he’d rather see you suffer from too much because that gets his ego going more. He’d rather see you beg and cry because of too much and close to breaking.

☽. Reckon he will actually be insecure about someone staying around as well, I think he’s aware he is difficult to be around. Also, when snuffy said about how much would he love himself if he wasn’t viewed as a genuis? Just think that’s insight to his mindset, I think he’s a heavy thinker and it’s why he bowls alone for ‘me time.’ I think Barou is actually kind tbh, he’d be a great boyfriend—difficult but great.

☽. I don’t think he sleeps around at all. I think he’s so fussy on who he lets in, not to mention his cleaning issues I think he’d struggle sleeping around cause of that as well. Plus he has three sisters that I bet taught him to respect women, he’s too prideful to cheat or dick around. It’s prob viewed as dirty & cowardly to him. He’d low-key want his other half knowing they have the best, he’d get a man pride boost from it all as well… can’t you just see him stood there, arms crossed, that mouth with its usual slant pretending to be tough and unbothered but his eyes beaming/little stars flying off him if you praised his cooking or cleaning? Yup 😂

☽. I reckon this guy eats food for days as well, huge appetite! Literally has cheat days and loves them, I think he’s got a pretty big sweet tooth, if you can cook well you’re probably gonna win him over, cleaning is a must that’s canon. But you know he’s gonna take over cleaning anyway. He’s a total foodie.

☽. Different guy at home compared to on the field or when with the guys, he’ll tone it down but he’s still Barou so don’t expect him to turn into a saint. -his home, his rules. You’re gonna get scolded if something isn’t ironed properly and don’t think you’re ever making the bed —fact he’s gonna do it because it gives him that man pride sensation.

☽. He’s an ass guy, thighs too and I think he’s gonna go for shape, curves etc likes a small waist and a big ass and I kinda think he’d go taller with height like 5’7ish. Cause then his size kink can really kick in and he’s a tall guy as well! Really think he goes for a woman, prefer a little older than him too I reckon 👀 maybe year or two. None of this really girly crap with him, won’t do sugar babies attitudes. But he does like feisty girls, you need some hold your own stand your ground attitude because he will enjoy brat taming someone that’s a challenge… and he’s gonna be proud if you hold your own against him/anyone else. No room for cry babies or overly emotional with this dude. Whiners & whinge bags begone, this man ain’t tolerating that crap.

God damn I need to write a fix for him now based on all of this. *sighs and cracks fingers*

© pharix 2023 permission is not given to repost, translate or post anywhere else. These are headcanons -not given permission to be used to form your own story ideas or plots.

[https-florals]

i know what you tell your friends - r.c.

part one || part two

word count: 4.6k

summary: you’re losing your rules and all your resolve.

warnings: suggestive, angsty?? fanon rafe, protective rafe, misogyny, catcalling, kelce and topper being rude and nasty, drunk rafe, showering together but not in a sexy way, cursing, rafe yelling at you, rafe being a swiftie for fun, shitload of toxicity

a/n: I GOT VERY CARRIED AWAY ITS SO LONG!! hopefully y’all like this even tho there is no kissing or sexy times 😳 im v proud of this little miniseries!!!! pt3 will hopefully be in the works soon! read on beautiful people!

Rafe has never been good at following rules. It’s just not his thing. Parts of him simply forget restrictions, his mind deciding what it wants and his body following. Other times, he looks at a rule like a dare: he breaks them out of pure spite.

He can’t tell which reason is making him push the limits with you. 

It’s a pretty Saturday night at the country club, Rafe and his friends all crowded at a table in the corner of the club restaurant. He’s hoping that you’re not working and simultaneously praying you are.

Much to his chagrin (enjoyment?) you’re the first to bounce over to his table, pulling out your notepad and pen before you look up at the customers.

Rafe is painfully aware of the way your breathing hitches, your smile not quite reaching your eyes when you realize who is seated at your table. 

“How are y’all? What can I get started for ya?” You’re the damn picture of a perfect waitress, short black skirt stretched over your thighs and white polo purposefully unbuttoned. Rafe is thinking that there’s definitely a porno about something like this when Topper nudges him.

 “Bro? Your drink?”

“Whiskey. Whiskey sour, please,” he says, getting a side-eye from a buddy at how strained his voice is and how he deigned to even say please. 

The only thing he can think about is how pretty you would look with that skirt pushed up about your hips. 

“Dude? The fuck is wrong with you?” Kelce hits Rafe across the chest as you walk away, snapping him out of his stupor.

He blinks hard and shakes his head, like he’s trying to shake rain out of his face. “Nothing, man. I’m just tired.” Lying is currently Rafe’s number one hobby, apparently. First to your face about a multitude of things, now to his best friends. He doesn’t like to think of himself as a dishonest person- the principle of integrity has been drilled into him since he was a kid, and even though he’s managed to shake off a lot of guilt, something about lying to the people he loves grates on his conscience. 

Not that he loves you, or anything. 

When you come back with their drinks, Rafe tries his hardest to ignore the way his friend’s eyes rake over you. 

You’re so bubbly and customer-service-y as you pass out drinks, smile bright when Topper thanks you for his old-fashioned. A slight twinge of jealousy hits Rafe, and he wishes you’d smile at him like that.

The second you walk away, Topper makes some offhand comment about how he couldn’t help but look straight down your shirt when you gave him his drink, and Rafe bites back a comment about how Topper wasn’t worthy of that smile you gave him. He focuses on picking out what he wants to eat.

Rafe drifts in and out of the conversation with his boys, but mostly watches you as you go from table to table. You’re back for their food order, and it’s almost like you’re avoiding making eye contact with him. 

Topper is leering at you, Kelce is being rude to you, they’re all being dickheads, but who is the one person you aren’t even looking at? Rafe.

As you leave, Kelce grins. “She’s fine as hell, Top. You see the way she looked at you?”

The boy’s cheeks tint pink as he takes a sip of his drink. “Practically begging for it,” he chuckles.

Rafe is silent as Kelce howls for no damn reason, slapping the table as a joke that just isn’t funny.

“Man, this is your opportunity,” Kelce chirps as you walk from table to table. “Ask her if she’s doing anything after her shift!”

Topper throws his hands up, attempting to act bashful but the bold smile on his face betrays it. “What am I supposed to say, dude?” He shifts his tone, making it nauseatingly breathy and smooth. “C’mon, babe, let me give it to you right,” Topper practically moans in her direction, sending Kelce into another howling fit.

“Shut the fuck up,” Rafe groans, slouching in his chair and downing the rest of his sour. His friends are insufferable, he knows that. He’s never really cared before, in fact he himself often goes along with their lewd jokes- flirting with club staff, making gestures behind their backs. Why it’s just now grating on him so hard, he doesn’t know.

If the boys hear him, they don’t act like it. They’ve moved onto horrific pickup lines.

“If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting ahead?”

“Roses are red, violets are fine, you be the six, I’ll be the nine!”

Rafe sighs, wishing he had at least two more drinks sitting in front of him. “Can you not? You’re acting like douchebags.” His words are coated with annoyance. He sounds like a mother chiding her boys.

“Who pissed in your cereal, man?” Topper scoffs. “We’re just messing around. You’ve been so tight lately, bro. You usually eat this kinda bullshit up.”

It’s true, but it makes him cringe. He’s been guilty of the very thing he’s angry at them about, and it’s probably the reason you think he’s a shit person. 

Kelce laughs. “You’re just mad she ain’t looking at you, dickwad.”

They’ve finally shut up by the time you come back with their food, much to Rafe’s relief. 

His hand just barely brushes yours when you hand him his plate, and you jolt so hard that the club sandwich almost slides off. There’s a flash in your eyes like you’re hoping he doesn’t notice, but of course he does. 

He notices everything about you. 

He also notices the way your skirt shifts up as you move, and Rafe resists the urge to reach out and tug it down. 

You clear your throat as you set everything else down, wiping your hands on the front of your skirt, pushing it down a little.

Thank God.

“Okay, gentlemen! Anything else we need?” You smile, and Rafe thinks that he needs you to kiss him like, right this second, but he bites his tongue and shakes his head.

You’re just about to turn away when Kelce clears his throat, saying, “One more thing I need to know, miss!”

It’s like he’s talking in slow motion. Every part of Rafe is filled with an inexplicable dread as he begins to speak.

“Job policy make you wear this?”

You pause, a little perplexed frown on your face. “No, I just wear an Island Club polo for fun.”

Kelce grins, and runs his hand down your arm, not faltering at your tone and not even when you jerk away. “Strictly that? Nothing else?”

You’re preparing for some lewd joke about whether or not your wearing panties.

“You need some more… accessories.” He grins, innocent when he looks up at you. “I’ve got one that would look great in your mouth.”

Rafe’s vision goes a little red when your jaw drops open. He stands up quick and slams his palms on the table. “Get the fuck out, man.”

“Has that ever worked for you?” you blurt incredously as Rafe moves around you. His hand tucks on your waist as he slides you away from Kelce, but you pretend not to notice.

Kelce gasps when Rafe grabs him by the sleeve to pull him out of the restaurant. 

“Dude! Chill out!” Topper protests.

The look on Rafe’s face scares you a little when he whips around to look at Topper, snapping, “You wanna quit acting like a douchebag, or do you want me to haul your sorry ass outta here too?”

Topper flushes and sits. 

“Don’t ever let me catch you talking like that to any of these girls here, alright?” Rafe is seething as he pushes Kelce into the club bathrooms. The other boy’s jaw is dropped open, nodding his head. 

Rafe knows he can be scary. Right now, he uses that to his advantage, hand fisted in the collar of Kelce’s shirt as he towers over him. 

Kelce is trying to break free, but Rafe refuses to budge. “You are gonna go back out there and say you’re sorry, and then leave her the biggest tip she’s ever seen. Got it?” 

The shorter boy nods fervently when Rafe lets go of him, and practically sprints back to find you.

Rafe steps out of the bathroom, leaning up against the wall as he watches Kelce find you and apologize. Your eyes are wide while he’s talking to you, and you give him a timid smile right before he walks away.

Rafe hates him. He hates the way he spoke to you, and hates the way you don’t punch him in the dick. If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself, he thinks.

When you walk away from Kelce, Rafe follows you before even really thinking about it.

You’re finally within reach and he grabs your wrist, spinning you to face him.

Yanking your arm away from him, you hiss, “What are you doing?” The stilted customer-service kindness is gone.

“I’m sorry my friends are assholes,” he whispers, taking a step back from you, his hands up like he’s begging you not to shoot.

Your shoulders sag. “It’s not your fault, Rafe. You don’t have to apologize.”

“No, I do,” he says, voice thin. “I acted like that, before, and now they think it’s cool to be dicks.”

“Before?”

Before you, he thinks, but doesn’t say. 

“I try not to be like that anymore,” Rafe says instead. He holds his hand out like a peace offering, and you accept it, your palm sliding against his in an awkward shake.

“Friends?” He asks, soft and questioning.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” you joke, not quite catching the way Rafe frowns. “I gotta go. Text me later, okay?”

He promises he will, then he’s moping back to his table, where he slaps down two fifties and makes Kelce add two more to the pile. The boys are gone before you can even offer a check.

You get off late, heading back to the Chateau drained. You pass on a game of poker with your friends for a shower, receiving a boo from John B and several rude names from JJ.

After a good half-hour shower and coating your body in lotion, you’re feeling up for cards, and settle at the table with a glass of apple juice.

“Ooh, now that is hard liquor,” Sarah comments, teasing as she deals you in.

“I don’t feel like drinking tonight. Y’know, in case I have to drive anywhere.”

“Where would you be driving?” Pope asks, and you shrug in return, even though you know exactly where.

“She’s gotta see her little kook boyfriend,” JJ says, but there’s a bite to his words.

“Not my boyfriend,” you state, hands up.

Kiara makes a face, but you don’t miss it.

“Guys. We are strictly just fucking.”

“Ew! I don’t wanna hear about that shit!” JJ shouts, and the rest of the table makes disgusted noises.

You look at him with an incredulous expression. “Can a girl not get laid anymore without everyone having to give a damn opinion? We are just messing around!”

“It’s not like he’s the absolute worst,” Sarah ventures, her hand sneaking over yours.

John B frowns at her while JJ chimes in, saying. “Sarah. I know he’s your brother, but he is actually the worst.”

“He’s getting better!’ She defends, voice high.

Almost like he knows he’s the subject of your conversation, Rafe’s caller ID pops up on your phone. You motion for everyone to be quiet, and answer it. Your volume is up and for once the Pogues are so quiet that they can hear the other line without you even putting it on speaker.

Rafe croons your name over the phone, one, two, three times before you can say anything.

“Rafe?”

“Hey, baby!” There’s a crackle and the sound of fabric shuffling against the speaker. “Shit. I’m not supposed to call you that.”

“What are you doing?” you ask, though it's more of a scold than a question.

“I need your help,” he says, and you can hear music in the background. “Top was supposed to  be my DD, and I can’t find him.”

“Are you drunk? How many shots  have you had?”

Rafe doesn’t answer you, but keeps rambling. “Sarah didn’t answer any of my texts, and I don’t know who else to call.”

Sarah’s eyebrows knit together and she checks her phone, turning it so you can see that she has no notifications from her brother.

“Come pick me up? Please?”

There’s a moment of silence on your end, and Rafe repeats, “Pretty please.”

He says your name again, so soft it makes your heart ache. “I need you.” 

You sigh and stand up, JJ throwing his hands up in exasperation, but having the courtesy to remain silent. “I’ll be there soon, okay? Send me the bar and for the love of God, don’t drink anymore!”

“You’re the best,” Rafe answers, and doesn’t hang up, so you have to hit the button.

You’re rushing out the door, ignoring your friend’s remarks and jabs.

“I”m not letting you in when you get back here at the asscrack of dawn,” John B warns as you grab your keys.

You ignore him and race out to your car. When you get to the bar, Rafe is sitting outside on the steps, head between his hands. 

You park illegally in front of the entrance, ignoring the loud honk from a car. Rafe’s face lights up when he sees you hop out of your car, and starts to stumble toward you. He trips when he’s just a few feet away from you, and you stick your arms out to stop his fall. It doesn’t quite work, and the breath is knocked out of you when your back hits the metal of your car door.

Rafe jerks back, eyes wide. “Are you okay?” He’s inspecting you like you’re an apple in a grocery aisle- spinning you around, checking for bruises.

You nod, and make an odd little squawking noise when he hugs you tight and effectively takes your breath away a second time.

“I missed you,” he exhales into your hair, and you realize just how drunk he is.

You pull away, squinting up at the redness in his face. “How many drinks did you have?”

He shrugs and grins, eyes stuck on your lips, unashamed. “Too many.”

Blowing out a breath, you open the car door and help him in. “I can tell. Arms in, bud.”

There is too much sweetness in your tone, but you realize it a little too late, and can’t find it within yourself to even care.

When you slide into the driver’s seat, he slumps over the center console, head nestled on your shoulder and his hand slipping to your knee.

Spotify is shuffling all of your favorite Taylor Swift songs, and you notice about halfway through the drive that Rafe is quietly singing along. 

His fingers idly play with the frayed hem of your sweatshorts, humming, “if I showed up to your party, would you have me, would you want me…” It’s a little slurred, but he hits every note right.

“Didn’t know you were a swiftie,” you joke, pressing your cheek to the top of his head.

He shakes his head, but laughs all the same. “I let Sarah have aux whenever I gotta drive her places. She really likes the album that’s like, blue, and it’s got all those songs about Harry Styles on it.”

“1989?” 

He nods. “She loves that one. Good album.”

“You’re so right.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then Rafe is saying your name, whispering it like it’s a taboo word.

“I’m sorry my friends were such assholes earlier.”

“You already apologized. It’s alright, I’ve heard worse.” His face after you say that makes him look like he’s in physical pain. “Seriously, Rafe. Kelce’s question was maybe the most PG thing I heard today. Teenage boys say some wild shit to waitresses.”

He frowns. “I’ll beat those little motherfuckers up. Gimme a list, I’ll rock their shit.”

You tell him no, but you’re laughing. “I don’t need you to protect me, Rafe.”

He shrugs, acting like the phrase just rolls off his shoulders. “I don’t give a shit about what you think you do or don’t need,” he says, too nonchalant.

“Excuse me?” You swerve a little as you whip your head towards him.

Rafe sighs, stretching out in the passenger. The muscles of his thigh tense as he moves, fully on display with his little 5-inch inseam shorts. 

“I’m not repeating it, baby.”

Your chest tightens, breath a little shallow as you keep your eyes on the road. His hands are red hot on your thigh, like his fingerprints are burning into your thigh. You need to push his hand off before he can lay claim on you like that, but you don’t move, his fingers pressing and sliding and flaming. 

“Sarah told me you had a date the other day.” His voice has a little bit of venom. 

“I did,” you confirm, giving him a side-eye.

His profile looks like stone as he stares out the window, streetlights reflecting on his skin. “Why? Who was he?”

“You don’t know him, Rafe,” you sigh. “He’s from the cut. Works with JJ.”

His tongue pokes into his cheek as he laughs. “You and these Pogie assholes. You ever gonna try something different?”

“I have some range. Not just pogues. You’re a Kook asshole, and we get along just great.”

Rafe’s brows narrow. “Get along? You just want to fuck me, that’s why we get along.”

“You’re so right. Good job!” You try to joke.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?”

You jump and swerve at the sudden change in his voice. You’ve heard him yell before, but it’s never been directed at you. “Why are you yelling?” you shout back. You don’t know why your eyes are burning.

“I”m yelling cause you’re a fucking idiot,” he groans, but his hand is still painfully hot on your thigh.

You scoff and push it off. “Shut up, Rafe.”

His jaw tenses and shudders a little. “They’re so shit to you,” he practically cries. “And I’m here. I would be so good to you. Better than any of these dickheads.”

You rub your eyes, telling yourself it's because you're tired and not because you're about to cry. “Why are they dickheads? I think you’re an dickhead.”

“Don’t say that,” he whines.

“What makes them worse than you, Rafe?” you huff.

“Cause they don’t love you like you need to be loved.” He’s looking everywhere but you, and you’re thinking about pulling over because your heart is beating so fast you feel like you might die. Then his eyes finally shift to yours, piercingly blue. They remind you of the waves that break overhead when your surfboard pulls you down under the water.

His fingers are tracking back to your thigh, and you do your best to keep your damn eyes on the road and drive, no matter how hard he’s staring at you. 

“Like I could love you.”

Your knuckles are white on the steering wheel. There’s no words stuck in your throat because you can’t think of any; you’re panicky and you can’t breathe.

His face turns to the window and he begins to hum to the radio. Nothing else is said.

Rafe is still humming when you help him out of the car, his arm slung around your shoulders.

“Thank you for coming and getting me,” he says, breaking the heavy silence when you reach the door.

You stare at him like he’s an alien. He never says thank you. You're still reeling from the car conversation, but you clear your throat and pat his shoulder, like you’re just two buds. “You good from here?”

“No.” He says it so quickly, bottom lip poking out like a little kid. “I need you.”

I don’t give a shit about what you think you need. The thought twinges in your brain, and you stop yourself from saying that you don’t think you need to stay.

“You can at least make sure I don’t like, drown in the bathtub. And get in bed.” He smiles that heartbreaker grin. 

You can’t tell if he’s sober or drunk, or what. You sigh, and push past him, dragging the tall boy in tow. “Fine. No funny business.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He gives you a little salute, and stumbles along with you. 

It’s so hard getting Rafe upstairs that you give up on being quiet, and settle for praying that none of the Camerons wake up and catch the two of you. When you finally get to his room, you push him into the bathroom. 

“You reek,” you sigh, shutting the door as quietly as you can. 

“Rude,” he responds, peeling off his shirt.

You try not to watch him shuffle out of his clothes as you turn on the water, running your fingers under the stream and checking the temperature. When it’s warm enough, you turn back to Rafe, doing everything but staring as he stands shamelessly naked in front of you. 

“I- your- The water’s hot.”

He laughs and shuffles past you. “Don’t act like you’ve never seen me naked.”

Your cheeks heat, but you blame it on the rising humidity in the bathroom. After making sure he’s alright, you slip out. 

You pace Rafe’s room, messing with the few trinkets on his desk and marveling at the cleanliness. He has a little oyster shell dish with a little painting of UNC, and a couple of rings lay in it. You’re trying on his signet ring when you hear a thud. 

“Rafe?” you whisper-yell. There’s just the sound of running water. You rush into the bathroom, flicking on the fan to clear a little of the steam. Against your better judgment, you slide open the shower door. Rafe is slumped against the tile wall, eyes shut, mouth open. Dead asleep. You step in, water drenching your clothes as you smack his cheeks, trying to wake him up. “Rafe, when you said I needed to make sure you didn’t drown in the bathtub, I didn’t think you meant literally,” you mutter as you try to push him up and out of the water stream.

His eyes blink open, then roll back, then close again. 

“Rafe! Come on, baby,” you mutter, and smack him again.

His eyes fly open and you jolt back as his lips curve into a grin. “You called me baby.”

You frown. “Did not,” you lie.

“I love when you lie. You’re bad at it.”

Self-righteous asshole, you think. “Sit down,” you instruct him, pointing to the built-in shower bench. He sits, and you squirt some of his shampoo into your palm. You’re pleasantly surprised that it’s not 3-in-1. It even smells good. Standing between his legs, you push the shampoo through his hair, raking your fingernails over his scalp and giggling at all the little moans he lets out. 

Your clothes are soaked, uncomfortably so. Your tee clings to you, and Rafe’s hands fiddle with the hem of it. 

“Why are your clothes on?” He asks, tone genuine.

“Because you’re drunk,” you answer, “and I wanted to keep them on.”

He nods, and you rinse the suds out of his hair. The casual intimacy of the moment hits you hard when Rafe rests his head on your chest. It’s so soft and sweet and so out of the ordinary for the two of you that it’s nearly blindsiding. 

You get him cleaned up, and then track water all over the tiles when you grab towels. He wraps it around his hips, and you shiver as you pull it around your shoulders.

If the shower sobered him up at all, it’s not evident in his attitude towards you, but he is walking a little straighter. Rafe pulls a tshirt out of his drawer, and two pairs of boxers. One pair is for him, and he slides into bed, watching you expectantly.

You stare back at him. “What?”

“Shirt and boxers are for you. You can’t sleep in soaking wet clothes.” 

“Close your eyes.” 

Shockingly, he does, throwing a hand over his eyes without further questioning. 

You strip and don the outfit. The boxers are soft, and there’s a few holes in the collar of the shirt. It’s worn, with a faded Rolling Stones emblem. “I never see you wear this,” you say, and his eyes open, lips pressing together as a smile just flickers over his face. 

“Cause I don’t. It looks good on you.” Rafe’s cheeks are a little pink, and he’s looking at you with pure adoration.

You turn to hide the shakiness of your hands, and sit on the bed to pull on your Tevas before grabbing your keys. “You all good? I gotta head back to the Chateau.”

“No, I’m not good,” Rafe answers with a groan. “You should stay.”

You stare at him, taken aback. “No, I should not. I really need to go back.”

“Why?”

You shrug. A good reason is not floating through your brain at the moment, or at least one that’s real. You could say they need you back for… something. It’s a lie. You could say you have to help JJ with something. Also a lie, plus it would make Rafe mad, you think. Not to mention the fact that you aren’t sure if you and JJ are still on speaking terms after the way he glared at you when you left.

You could always say you don’t want to stay. But damn, that’d be the biggest lie of all.

“I just need to. Rules, remember?” you remind him as an afterthought. 

He sighs, loud and overdramatic. “Rules, schmoolze. Just stay.”

When you fiddle with the strap of your sandals, deciding whether or not to take them off, he reaches for your wrist, fingers hooking on your bracelets.

“I’ll be good,” he whispers. “Promise.”

Well, shit. How can you say no to that?  

Within seconds your shoes are off, keys tossed somewhere, and you’re crawling into bed with him. You’re rigid at first when he slides his arms around your waist and pulls you a little closer.

“Relax. Quit acting like I’ve never touched you before.”

“You haven’t like this,” you answer, voice strained.

“Don’t worry. Cuddling up won’t make you fall in love with me,” he huffs, and your leg hooks over him as your head tucks against his chest.

He’s wrong, you think. He’s wrong, and you need to go home. Right now.

But then his hand is on your back, and he’s humming another damn Taylor Swift song, and his thumb is circling your shoulder blade so, so slow.

You’re too far gone to leave now. 

“Comfy?” He stops humming to ask.

You nod, just a little bit, trying to find a place for your gaze to rest. Your options are endless- his eyes, his mouth, his chest- but none of them seem safe. You settle for a freckle on his cheekbone. “What about you?” you ask in return.

“Never been better.”

He’s comfortable in the silence, and you most definitely are not. It’s foreign, being in his bed with your clothes on and a part of him not inside you. You’re not sure how to act about it.

Rafe clearly does, either that or he’s winging it. His hands are soft and soothing all over you, willing you to loosen up. He unwinds the coil in your shoulders, the tightness in the small of your back.

As your eyes start to drift shut, you feel his lips against your forehead.

“Goodnight, honey.”

“Goodnight,” you repeat.

Your stupid little list of rules is doing nothing.

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[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

hi I dreamed about duff today and it was 80's duff in a fan meeting (?) type of thing and I talked about how silly he IS. and he was so confused, he said "is that a bad thing or a good thing?" AND HE LOOKED SO DAMN CUTE. I need to kiss him on the cheek while he plays the acoustic guitar. I need to cuddle with him while stroking the back of his neck. Have you seen the videos he posts on Instagram? Him playing acoustic guitar and shit? HE WOULD DEFINITELY MAKE A SONG FOR HIS GIRLFRIEND AND WOULD SING IT EVERY TIME HE SAW HER. It wouldn't be a song, like, actually posted and famous and blablabla, but it would be something more internal and intimate(?) like, just between you two. He would also be the biggest "loser" when he's drunk. He would be babbling about how much he loves you, what he loves about you, how beautiful you look - note: all this while you take care of him, keep him hydrated and listen attentively to every word he says. I LOVE DUFF, HE'S SILLY !!

Dude kind of random but Duff said that when his daughters were babies, specifically Mae I think, he used to kiss their cheeks so much like every picture he had of him and Mae was him kissing her cheeks and I just think that’s really cute

Duff with short hair tho 😩

Idk if this is the era you were referring to but I absolutely ADORE short hair Duff