#This came to me at 3am like two days ago and I just now remembered it

[concrete-3ater]

Do you understand

Do you see my vision

[lucy90712]

Hey so for Jude Bellingham can you write like Jude cheating on reader, he is very distant with her and she tries to make plans or asks him things like how has ur day been but he either just gives her blunt replies or just completely ignores her. Reader finds out he cheated on her via his phone and she confronts him and she admits it. Then reader leaves him and moves on with someone else (not a footballer just someone random) and Jude regrets what he has done but it is too late. Like pure angst and please make it long! Thank you!

A/n: the timeline on this doesn’t really work but just ignore that

Part 2

Sitting in a restaurant alone waiting for someone to show up is embarrassing. It's even more embarrassing when people know who your boyfriend is and are very clearly judging you and thinking about what might be going on in your personal life. Then the most embarrassing part of it all is having to leave after sitting there for an hour. 

No text no call and no answer. After getting home from the restaurant I stayed up for as long as possible to try and wait for Jude to come home so I could ask him why he didn't show up to the date he planned and invited me on but by 3am he still wasn't home. The next morning he wasn't in bed but he had clearly been home and then left for training but he still hadn't even read the texts I sent him last night. He did post on his Instagram story which explained where he was, he was at a party with all of his friends. I'd love to say that's the first time he's done this but it isn't in fact he's done it countless times in the last few months. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Valentine's Day

Two hours ago I got ready in a cute dress and did my makeup ready to go out to dinner with Jude. He's been so busy recently so we haven't spent much time together but he promised me we'd spend Valentine's Day together, he got us a reservation at my favourite restaurant and told me to dress up. That's exactly what I did now I'm sat here still waiting for him to get home two hours after when he said he'd be home. 

It hurts to be left just waiting I was looking forward to tonight and getting to spend some time together as I've missed having him around. He made this move to Madrid out to be the best thing for us but ever since things just haven't been the same. He's always busy and when he's not he chooses to spend time with his teammates instead which I understand but at the same time he's neglecting me and our relationship. I tried to bring this up but he shut me down and promised to spend more time with me which is how we ended up with this date but clearly it's not that important to him. 

Close to 3 hours later Jude finally came home and looked at me incredibly confused when he saw me all dressed up. 

"Where are you going?" He asked 

"On a date with you remember you said we would go out for dinner because it's Valentine's Day" I said 

"I'm so sorry baby I completely forgot this week has been crazy I promise I'll make it up to you another day but I'm so tired is a movie night instead ok" he said 

"Yeah its ok" I lied 

Birthday 

As always I woke up to an empty bed and Jude having left for training. Today isn't any normal day though it's my birthday so all my friends are coming over and we are going to go out for lunch together then hopefully Jude and I can do something together this evening even if it's just watching something together on the sofa. When I grabbed my phone from my bedside table I had loads of messages from friends and family wishing me a happy birthday and my social media was filled with edits done by Jude's fans which were all so sweet. The only notable missing thing was a text from Jude but that's ok he might've been running late and forgot. 

I forgot about Jude as soon as my friends arrived as they all spoiled me far too much but I had so much fun with them. It was nice to be distracted from real life and stop worrying about when Jude will be home, if he will remember it's my birthday or if he still cares about me at all. Once I got back home Jude's car was already in the driveway so I smiled and happily made my way inside to see him. I wasn't expecting Vini and Eduardo to be over but there they were sat on the sofa playing video games with Jude. 

"Hey y/n happy birthday" Vini said 

"I didn't realise it was your birthday Jude didn't mention it but happy birthday" Eduardo said 

"Thanks guys" I said 

"Where have you been babe?" Jude asked still not saying happy birthday 

"I was with my friends they took me to lunch" I said 

"That sounds fun" Jude said going right back to his game 

His friends tried to leave saying he should spend time with me but he said it was fine and that I wouldn't mind so they stayed. While they all sat down stairs having more fun than I was I did some work with tears streaming down my face. My own boyfriend doesn't care about my birthday his teammates cared more than he did. 

Anniversary 

"Happy anniversary love" I said when I found Jude in the kitchen this morning 

"Happy anniversary" he said 

I tried to give him a kiss but he dodged it and went to start packing his things as he has an away game later today so he's leaving soon. 

"I'm sorry baby I've got to go I'll see you later though" he said as he left leaving me all alone yet again 

~~~~~~~~~~

Today is a day I always like to forget. Both of my parents died in a car accident two years ago today so it's always an emotional day for me and my siblings, we would like to spend it together to distract ourselves but as I'm in Madrid we can't do that. Instead my friends invited themselves over so that I'd have someone with me which made me feel so much better. They came over early so early that Jude was still here as he hadn't left for training yet. He was doing his own thing as the girls all sat with me and let me get out all my emotions now by telling them memories I have with my parents. 

"You know they'd be so proud of you" one of my friends said 

"I just wish they were here to see all the things me and my siblings have done all thanks to their constant encouragement" I sniffled tears still falling down my face 

"Why are you crying babe?" Jude asked as he walked down the stairs 

"Just thinking about my parents it's the anniversary of their death so I'm just a bit emotional" I said 

"I'm glad the girls are here to make you feel better then I'll see you later ok" he said 

With that he left and my friends all looked at me with an expression I didn't quite understand.

"How long has he been like that?" My best friend asked 

"Like what" I questioned 

"Like you don't matter he didn't even hug you before he left even after you told him why you were upset which he should know anyway dates like this are important for partners to remember" she said 

"I mean it's been a good few months he missed our Valentine's Day dinner he didn't wish me a happy birthday until like 5pm and we didn't do anything on our anniversary" I said finally thinking about how badly he's been treating me

"Girl he doesn't deserve you he's taking you for granted and you don't deserve that" one of the girls said 

"I hate to say this but you need to break up with him clearly he's given up on your relationship and now I might be wrong but wrong but it seems to me like he's found someone else" another said

They were right for months now I've been at the bottom of his priority list and he's nowhere near the Jude I used to know and love. There is no affection there anymore it's like the love we once had is gone. He also has definitely been distant and he's never home so there is a possibility that he could be cheating on me. That's a thought that I'd put in the back of my mind and didn't want to think about but now that someone else that has mentioned it I can't let the thought go. Whether he's cheating or not things definitely aren't how they used to be and I need to get out of this relationship before it's too late. The girls all offered their support and said I can stay with them for as long as I need which gave me the confidence to actually talk to Jude later today. 

When Jude arrived home all the girls left and they wished me good luck which I definitely need as I'm nervous to actually have this conversation even though it needs to be done. Jude went straight to get in the shower so I decided to look at his phone because he told me the password but I have never used it as I trusted him at least until now. It took just seconds of looking for me to find texts between him and this one girl who he had clearly been seeing for months now. He kept saying he would break up with me but the time wasn't right yet and that he wasn't in love with me anymore which hurt to see. I wanted to cry but I held back my tears and instead just sent myself screenshots of everything and then deleted the evidence so he wouldn't know that I knew. 

After his shower Jude took ages to come back downstairs but when he finally did he was looking at his phone and smiling it made me wonder if he was talking to her the girl he'd apparently fallen for. He quickly noticed me staring at him and he just stared back not having a clue what was going on. 

"Jude we need to talk" I said 

"Oh ok is everything alright?" He asked 

"I'm just gong to say it I know what you've been doing and don't lie to me I have screenshots I just want to know when you fell out of love and why you did this instead of just ending things" I said barely holding back tears 

"I don't know it all just happened I'm sorry I should've handled this better I didn't want to hurt you but clearly I haven't done a good job of that" he said 

"Yeah you really have hurt me I should've known when you forgot about our valentines reservations but I was foolish and believed that you were just busy now I know you were with another girl" I said 

"I'm sorry" he said 

"I don't believe you Jude if you were sorry you wouldn't have let this go on for so long it's safe to say we are over I wish you well but please don't try and contact me again I need to just move on" I said 

With that I gathered my things and just left. I left my key, the memories and what felt like half my heart but it had to be done I had to get out of there before I got hurt any more. It's time to move on and start a new life with people around me who truly care about me. 

~~~~~~~~~~

1 year later 

"Come on amor let's go" Carlos called from downstairs 

"Coming" I said running down the stairs 

"Oh wow you look gorgeous" Carlos said 

"Thank you you look good too" I said 

He kissed my cheek and grabbed my hand so we could head out to the car that was outside to pick us up. Just a few days ago Carlos won the French open so we are going out to celebrate. I met Carlos not long after I broke up with Jude I wasn't even looking to date but I just happened to meet him on a night out with my friends and we just clicked. He understood that I wasn't ready to date properly but he didn't give up on me so when I was ready we went on a date and the rest is history. My plan definitely wasn't to date another athlete in fact I wanted to just have a normal life and date a normal guy but I couldn't just let Carlos go and I'm glad I didn't. We have been together officially for 6 months now and they have been the best 6 months of my life he always treats me right and he makes it known how much he loves me. 

Carlos has a lot of friends in Madrid so he decided to come here and celebrate his win with me and my friends as well as his before he goes back home to be with his family. There wasn't really any time to prepare anything so we are all just meeting at a club in town that isn't just open to the public so there shouldn't be lots of people there. All our friends were already there when we arrived as we got caught in a bit of traffic but they didn't seem to mind our lateness they congratulated Carlos on his win and we all went inside. 

As we walked down the stairs all my friends turned to me at once and I wondered what was going on for a second until I saw what they had seen. Jude was right there along with a few of his teammates. I haven't seen him since our breakup which is somewhat of a miracle seeing as I still live and work in Madrid and he has become part of the city. I knew one day we'd meet again I was just hoping it wouldn't be in a day like today I don't want to be thinking about him or to talk to him while celebrating Carlos as tonight shouldn't be about me or my past relationship. Carlos knows everything that happened so once he saw Jude his hand reached for mine and he gave it a comforting squeeze which made me feel a little bit better. The thing is I don't miss Jude at all I'm so much happier now but what he did still hurts me so seeing him for the first time since is a bit painful. 

"We can go somewhere else if you want" Carlos said 

"No it's ok tonight is your night plus he shouldn't affect my life now that's the past you are my present and future" I said 

"Ok as long as you're sure but you are sticking by my side all night" he said 

Jude's POV

"Is that y/n?" Vini asked 

Him saying that caught my attention so I looked in the same direction as him and there she was with all her friends and a guy by her side. I recognised the guy as Carlos Alcaraz the tennis player who just won the French open and a the guy y/n has been dating for at least the last few months. I found that out when late at night after we lost a big game I stalked her Instagram and saw a photo of them together on her private account that she forgot to remove me from. Since that night I have kept an eye on her Instagram I usually check it at least once a week to see what she's been doing and how happy she is without me. 

Since the night that she broke up with me I regretted making all the dumb choices I made that led to that point. Within days I broke things off with the other girl I was seeing and I have been alone ever since I just can't bring myself to see anyone else because they aren't y/n. It sounds stupid because I'm the one that ruined everything I'm the reason she's with Carlos and not me but she was the one I just didn't realise how much I loved her until she was gone. My mum has always told me not to take things for granted as once they are gone you'll realise their true value and that's exactly what I did with y/n I didn't realise just how important she was to me until I made some stupid decisions and let her go. 

I watched her with Carlos for a while and she seemed genuinely happy which made me realise that she hadn't been that happy with me for a long while before we broke up. It was clear to see that she loved him and I could tell that he loved her too because he looked at her the way I did when we first got together. It hurt to see her so happy with someone else because I know I could've had that but now I won't get to share any moment like that with her ever again. I deserve everything that has come to me I made bad choices and as much as I regret them now it won't change anything. 

I have to let her go because for her to be happy I need to not be in her life as much as that hurts. They say if you love her let her go and that's what I need to do let the one go because as much as she might've been the one for me I'm not the one for her. 

[fascinorous-argonaut]

I am still full of the love you want

Hello, everybody! It's my first time posting a fic here. Well, it's my first time here on Tumblr at all, so please, be kind. English is also *not* my first language. Grammaly helps but don't do magic. Enjoy. ~ Daredevil.

Once again, there he was—her husband—lying on the couch at 3AM with a book in his hands. *Again*.

Clarice understood. He had only just returned from prison, wrongfully convicted of a crime he didn’t commit.

It had devastated her, but she managed to pull through. She had stayed by his side, just like they had both promised three years ago when they got married.

When the news came that he was being released, that his team had found the real culprit, Clarice cried with joy. *Her Spencer* was finally free, and that meant he was coming home—back to *her*.

But the man standing before her now wasn’t the same *husband* she remembered. He barely spoke to her, and ever since he came back from prison, he had been sleeping on the couch. It had been nearly two months.

*She understood*. He was angry, sad, and likely traumatized by whatever he had gone through while locked away.

But she missed him in every way imaginable. She missed his random conversations, his laughter, and *God*, even his touch. She missed *him*, and the fact that he was physically there but emotionally distant was breaking her heart.

All she wanted was to be there for him, but every time she tried, he shut her out.

And there she was again, standing there with her arms crossed, an almost pleading look in her eyes as she watched him.

"It’s 3AM… can’t you sleep?" she asked softly, careful not to step too close to him or the couch. She didn’t want to upset him.

Spencer glanced up from his book, his expression blank. "No, I’m sleeping. Can’t you tell?" he replied, his tone laced with sarcasm.

Clarice lifted her hands slowly, showing her palms to him as a sign of peace while taking a step back. "I’m sorry, honey," she whispered, looking down at the floor before glancing back at Spencer. "I didn’t mean to disturb you."

Spencer sighed heavily. He closed the book he was reading and placed it on the coffee table in front of him. The only light in the room came from a lamp next to the couch. He ran his hands through his hair, visibly frustrated.

"No, you’re not disturbing me," he mumbled quietly, pausing for a moment. "I just... I just need some time, I guess."

His tone wasn’t as sharp or harsh as it had been on other occasions.

"Yes, I... I get it," she continued in a whisper, as if afraid that raising her voice above a whisper would stir up a storm.

Spencer glanced at her. She was walking on eggshells around him. He could see it in the way she spoke, the way she stood with her hands raised, palms forward, and the way she took slow steps backward.

He felt like a wounded animal, and she was approaching him carefully, trying not to scare him away or trigger his defenses.

"Hey... could you come here, please?" he said, motioning her toward him.

She lowered her palms and, step by step, quietly walked toward Spencer, watching his every movement. "Sure."

The reply was simple, but if there was one thing certain about the situation, it was that neither of them was sure of anything.

Spencer patted the spot on the couch next to him, gesturing for her to sit down.

"I'm not going to bite you," he said with a slight hint of humor in his voice—a rare occurrence these days.

He knew he hadn’t been the most welcoming or communicative partner since he had come home. To say he had been unpleasant would be an understatement.

Finally, she sat next to him, on the edge of the couch, keeping both hands in her lap.

Even though she maintained a calm facade, her heart was racing. Being this close to him, after everything that had happened, was unusual. It was so rare that she had no clue how she was supposed to behave around him. Saying they were strangers living under the same roof would be generous. They were worse than that. They were two people who knew each other deeply yet didn’t know one another at all.

He noticed her body language:

The stiffness in her shoulders, the way she kept her hands clasped in her lap, the tension in her expression. This didn’t feel like the easy-going relationship they had shared just a few months ago.

He missed that.

Taking a deep breath, Spencer looked at her, his gaze steady.

"You know you don’t have to act like a stranger with me, right?" he asked quietly, trying to dispel the tension between them.

"I don’t know how I’m supposed to act around you anymore." She wanted to take the words back, but the truth was too heavy to swallow.

It was a brutal truth.

Spencer's heart sank a little at her words. The fact that she didn’t know how to act around him stung.

For a moment, he said nothing, just looking down at his hands, his expression unreadable.

But when he spoke, his voice was soft—almost vulnerable.

"You could start by treating me like your husband again."

"Treat me like your husband again." Those words felt like a hard slap to her face. Clarice could swear she felt her cheek burn from a touch that never came.

"What I know and what I feel are two entirely different things." She ran both hands through her short hair. "I know you're my husband. But I don't feel you anymore."

His breath caught in his chest.

Deep down, he knew he was responsible for that. He had shut her out, pushed her away, kept her at arm’s length. But hearing her say those words out loud made it all too real.

"I..." he started, but the words trailed off. He didn’t know what to say. He knew she was right. He wasn’t the same.

"I'm sorry," he muttered after a moment. "I know I’ve been distant. But prison changed me, I—"

"It's not your fault. It is not your fault," her tone was firm yet soft.

She wasn’t blind, of course. Clarice knew he was suffering. They both were. They were lost in a storm of unspoken feelings and painful memories.

"But it is," Spencer insisted, frustration creeping into his voice. "I'm not the same person I was before. And I’ve been taking it all out on you. This isn’t fair to you."

He paused, looking directly at her, his gaze intense.

"I don’t expect you to forgive me overnight, but I can't keep pushing you away. I don’t want to be the reason we’re so distant."

"Please, for the last time. It’s not your fault. It’s not as if you could avoid the changes. It would be strange if you hadn’t changed at all. You went through hell and back, and I—" the pain in her throat reminded Clarice of the tears she was holding back. "This isn’t fair to us, honey."

Spencer felt a pang in his chest as her voice cracked. He saw the pain in her eyes, the tears she was trying to hold back, and it killed him.

"I... we," he corrected himself. "We went through hell. Both of us. And I’ve been too wrapped up in my own pain and anger to see how much you’ve been hurting too."

He reached out and gently took her hand in his.

"And I’m so sorry for it. I’m sorry for shutting you out. I’m so sorry, baby."

The sudden touch surprised her, but in a more positive way than she expected. Her eyes met his, oh, those beloved brown eyes.

But there was more than just his usual tired demeanor. Finally, she started noticing the environment around them. The book Spencer had left on the coffee table was marked about halfway through. By now, he should have finished it. Knowing how fast he could read, an unfinished book could only mean one thing.

"When did your migraines come back?" she asked softly.

Spencer froze. He knew he wouldn’t be able to hide it from her for long, but dammit, that woman was perceptive.

He sighed heavily, letting go of her hand and rubbing his temples as a mild headache began to emerge.

"Two weeks ago," he admitted. "They've been pretty bad, but I didn’t want to worry you."

He grimaced, his expression a mixture of pain and exhaustion.

"Are you taking any medication?" Her tone was calm but serious.

His history with Dilaudid was no secret to her. And after the incidents in prison, he had to get clean all over again, which only made him even more cautious about any kind of medication.

The result? Spencer didn’t take anything—not even vitamins.

"No," he said with a sigh, still massaging his temple. "I’m not taking anything. I don’t want to risk... you know."

He didn’t need to finish the sentence. They both knew his history with addiction. Now, he had a strong aversion to any medication because of it.

"I've just been trying to manage them the best I can," he continued. "Taking it easy, avoiding too much stress, that kind of thing. But it’s been a rough two weeks."

"Let me help you, Spencer," she whispered, still looking deeply into his eyes.

Spencer met her gaze, a mixture of exhaustion and vulnerability in his eyes.

He was so used to handling those migraines on his own, but God, he missed having her by his side.

Her presence, her touch, her soothing words... she had always been his comfort during his hardest days.

He nodded slowly before speaking.

"I need your help," he admitted quietly. "I can’t keep doing this alone."

Clarice gently lifted the hand he was holding to her lips.

"You’re not alone, Spencer. You never are."

His heart ached at her touch and her words.

He knew he wasn’t truly alone, but these past two months had made him feel like he was.

He was so glad he had been wrong.

He looked at her with a mix of sadness and gratitude, his voice hoarse. "I don’t know what I would do without you."

He squeezed her hand gently, adding, "I’ve missed you so much."

"I miss you too, Spencer. So much."

Clarice let go of his hand gently. "I’ll be right back," she muttered before standing up and disappearing toward the kitchen.

Spencer watched her go, a mix of curiosity and anticipation in his eyes. He wondered what she had in mind.

He remained seated on the couch, still rubbing his temple in a futile attempt to soothe the building headache. He waited patiently, taking deep breaths and trying to ignore the pain throbbing through his skull.

She came back moments later with a large bowl of hot water and a towel draped over her right shoulder.

"Careful," she warned as she placed it down next to his feet.

Spencer's eyes widened slightly at the sight of the bowl and towel. He knew what she was about to do, and a rush of emotions coursed through him. His headache seemed to intensify for a moment, pressure building behind his eyes, but he stayed still, watching her closely. He leaned back against the couch, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath.

"You don’t have to do this," he said quietly. "It’s not your problem."

"You," she said, her tone firm yet with a hint of playfulness, "married a neurologist, Dr. Spencer Reid, and truly expected me to just sit here while my husband, who won’t even take an aspirin, suffers through a migraine? Tell me."

She had a point.

Spencer chuckled softly, despite the pain. He knew there was no arguing with her once she was in this determined mode. He opened his eyes and looked at her, a mixture of affection and resignation in his gaze.

"You’ve always been too stubborn for your own good," he said, his voice full of warmth. Then, in a softer tone, he added, "And I don’t deserve you."

After placing the bowl by his feet, she gently took each one in her hands and submerged them in the warm water, massaging them with skilled touches.

"You deserve the world," Clarice whispered, lifting her head and looking up at him.

The warm water, combined with her expert touch, sent waves of relief through his body, and a small sigh escaped his lips.

He looked down at her, his expression a mix of pain and pleasure. At her words, a small smile crept onto his face, his heart swelling with gratitude. But after a moment, his expression grew somber again, and he shook his head slightly.

"I don't deserve you," he repeated, his voice thick with emotion.

"You deserve the world," she softly echoed.

Spencer could almost feel the love in her words wrapping around him like a warm, comforting blanket. It was exactly what he needed. He closed his eyes, his breath catching as the headache began to ease, little by little.

For a moment, he remained silent, savoring the feeling of her touch and the closeness they hadn’t shared in so long.

When he finally spoke, his voice was barely a whisper.

"You are my world."

Clarice felt her heart warm at his affectionate declaration. It had been so long since he had said something like that.

Too long since they had said anything like that to each other.

In his words, she recognized someone she hadn’t felt in a long time: her husband.

The headache continued to ease as she massaged his feet, her touch like a soothing balm to his aching muscles and mind. For the first time in a long while, he felt a sense of peace and contentment in her presence.

He watched her in silence, taking in her every feature, her every movement. He had missed this closeness. He had missed her so damn much.

He reached out a hand and gently tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I’ve missed this... I’ve missed you," he whispered.

She closed her eyes and nodded slowly. "I miss you too, honey," she whispered, as if speaking too loudly might make him vanish into thin air.

The sound of her voice, soft and sweet like honey, only made him want her more. His heart ached with the need to pull her closer, to feel her body against his, to kiss her, to hold her.

"Come here," he said, his voice gruff and hoarse. He patted his lap, his eyes dark with longing. "Please."

He needed her closer, needed to feel her, touch her.

Clarice left his feet in the bowl and slowly stood, drying her hands with the towel. Then, slowly, she sat in his lap, wrapping her arms gently around his neck and resting her chin on the top of his head.

As she settled into his lap, Spencer felt a wave of relief and contentment wash over him. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer.

He buried his face in the crook of her neck, breathing her in deeply, taking in the scent of her skin and hair. A wave of emotions—sadness, relief, love, desire—washed over him, all intertwined and overpowering.

He held her tightly, as if afraid she might disappear, and he whispered against her skin, "I need you... so much. I love you so much."

She tightened the hug. "I love you, Spencer. So much. I'm not going anywhere."

Those words, coming from her lips, settled something deep within him. She wasn’t going anywhere. She was there, in his arms, where she belonged.

He pulled back slightly, just enough to look at her. His eyes, filled with a mix of sadness and love, met hers.

"Promise me," he said, his voice soft but firm. "Promise me, you'll never leave me."

"I promise you. I'm not leaving you," Clarice replied in the same tone.

Spencer felt a wave of relief wash over him at her promise. He squeezed her tightly, his eyes closing as he buried his face back in her neck. He inhaled deeply, savoring her scent and the feeling of her body against his, trying to memorize every detail, to imprint this moment in his mind forever.

He whispered against her skin, his voice hoarse with emotion.

"I don't deserve you."

"You deserve the world," she whispered, closing her eyes as his warm breath brushed her neck.

She let out a soft gasp at his kisses—familiar, yet somehow new.

"Spencer..." Her whisper was a call. A call for everything they had left behind, for all the future would bring, for the love she used to know, for the man he had become, but above all, for her husband. Her Spencer.

Her gasp, a mix of pleasure and recognition, sent a jolt through his entire body. She was feeling the same thing he was.

His hands continued to explore her skin, desperate to relearn every curve and contour he had missed. He pressed his lips to her collarbone, his voice a rough whisper against her flesh.

"I've missed you," he repeated, his voice thick with emotion. "I've missed holding you, touching you, feeling you... I've missed us."

"Spencer," she whispered, lowering her lips to his ear, "Are you done sleeping on the couch?"

He chuckled lightly, both at her words and the feeling of her warm breath against his ear. He pulled back slightly to look at her, a small smirk playing on his lips.

"Are you trying to invite me to our bed, honey?" he asked, his voice low and sultry, his thumbs tracing small circles on her hips.

"I’m summoning you," she whispered before pressing her lips to his forehead.

Her words, her touch, her invitation sent a shiver down his spine. He was powerless to resist her, not that he ever had before.

His hands moved to her hips, pulling her even closer, as he nuzzled his face into her neck. He pressed a kiss to the soft skin above her collarbone, his voice a low rumble.

He hummed at her words, his heart swelling with love and desire.

"And it worked. I yield completely to your beck and call" he said, his voice dripping with affection and an edge of humor.

He tilted his head, capturing her lips in a gentle kiss, his hand coming up to cup her face, his thumb tracing her jawline.

"Take me to bed, love" he whispered against her lips.

Dear @whoisspence , I hope this is what you were looking for. ~ Daredevil

[goldessia]

⋆⋆⋆ ┊ heavens blessing, levi ackerman . . .

warnings: rivals to lovers, bickering/arguments, sad love confession, close-death experience, levi is kind of mean in the beginning

type: flangst ( my fav <3 )

a/n: i made this at like, 3am, so please excuse how horrible it is :’)

MY life was one thing—a fight to the top. a fight to power.

levi ackerman ranked just above me in our cadet training. that second place title killed me.

i used to hate when people compared us. when they said, “she’s only second to levi.” if anything, i loathed it. i should be on top, i should be the captain—but of course, when the time came around, he had two more titan kills than me. now, we are tied.

levi never failed to make it known that he was ranked higher. if anything, he found it amusing that it was he who qualified and not me. and boy, did he abuse his power.

now, levi was walking past us, handing out shift assignments.

“eren, border control.” he moves on, “armin, go meet hanji for the security meeting.” and finally, he stops at me. instead of reading off his clipboard like he did for the others, he places it behind him, and stares straight at me.

“last and very least..” he slants his head, “y/n. stable duty.”

anger envelopes me. “what? you can’t do that! i’m the best soldier here, i’d be much more use out there!”

he clicks his tongue. “ooh, that’s where you’re wrong.” he leans closer, “you’re second-best. remember?”

i grumble. “just because you ranked above me—by, might i remind you, two kills—doesn’t mean you can just push me around. i’m still the best solider here, ranking or not.

“and i have a feeling you’re just putting me on stable duty so i don’t have a chance to pass you in kills.” i spit.

he takes a deep breath, and leans toward me. his eyes are almost frightening—cold, icey and direct. i want to shrink under his stare, his posture, his very aura.

“you’re right.” he says, “i do rank above you. and you know what that means?” his eyes narrow. “that means i can do whatever the fuck i want with you.”

i open my mouth to speak, but he doesn’t give me the chance.

“do you want another week of stable duty? because i can do that. talk back to me again, and you’ll face the consequences.”

my jaw clenches in anger. my eyes glare into his, but both him and i can tell i’m losing this battle.

“you got it?” he says. when i don’t respond, he repeats himself. “do you understand, soldier?”

i murmur a “yes, captain.”

“louder.”

“yes,” i inhale, before spitting out the word—“captain.”

“say it nicer.”

something inside me snaps, “no. you know what?” i push him back, “i’m done. give me stable duty, at-least it will keep me away from you, and your sadistic, weirdo self.”

with that, i storm away. a little childish, i agree, but i knew if i stayed any longer i’d argue with levi until the sun set. at-least i get a break, today.

behind me, i hear a few of the new soldiers defending me. they say things like, “don’t you think that was a bit far, levi?” or, “i kind of agree, her skills would be useful out there..” but they were instantly shut down by levi.

— - mid-night . . approx. six hours later.

i felt disgusting. after hours of working in the stables, a long, hot shower was just the thing i needed. i wrung the water out of my hair, and since it was around eleven pm i knew everyone would be asleep. so, i threw on my pyjama’s, and stepped out of the shower corridors.

i wanted to murder levi, consequences be damned. he never failed to make an absolute fool out of me. one day, i swore i’d get him back.

as i turned the corner, my heart stopper in my chest when i saw a figure in-front of me, but it was too late—i had already collided with them.

“huh—! watch it—“ levi cuts himself off when he realises it’s me. “oh. what are you doing here?”

“uh, crazy concept, but i also live here.” i spit. his eyes narrow, before travelling over me, head to toe and back to my face.

“lights out was an hour ago. you shouldn’t be out here.”

“that’s why i was trying to get back to my room, before you rudely got in my way.” i say. he blinks. “so.. move.”

the corner of his lip snags up. “say please.”

i scoff. “you’re such a prick,” i spit, pushing past him. before i can keep walking, he roughly grabs my arm, stopping me.

“remember who’s in control here, y/n.” he says coldly, “or, did you forget all of your training?” he tuts, “you have to be dismissed before you can walk away from your superiors.”

“eat shit, ackerman.”

“that’s captain levi to you.”

i rip my arm from his grasp. “you’re too cocky for your own good.” i turn to face him, “from now on, ranking or not, you need to learn to respect me. i can just as easily surpass you.

“you’ll need to get used to calling me captain l/n. just a matter of time, if you keep up with abusing your power just to mess with me.”

“tough chance.” he says with a slight chuckle, “goodnight, y/n.”

“off yourself.”

with that, i spin on my heel and stalk away from him.

— - the next day . . dawn

i was ready for another day of stable duty. if anything, i was kind of happy to spend another peaceful day with the horses. i was prepared for it.

“yeah, about that.” levi says. this time, he isn’t looking at me, but at the ground. “erwin..” he grits, “insisted you come on the mission today. said that.. your skills would be useful.”

my brows raise. a small smile finds my lips. “what was that? sorry, i couldn’t hear you. something about.. how i’m skilled?”

“i’m not repeating myself.” he snarls, “get your gear, and meet us by the gate. don’t be late.”

he stalls away like an angry child who didn’t get his favourite toy. i chuckle, and walk toward the supply room.

i meet the rest of them by the gate. the line consisted of a few of the rookies—eren, reiner, connie, and jean, and beside them, hanji, erwin and levi, who’s holding the reins to a horse beside him which i suspect is mine.

with a tall chest, i walk toward levi. “i believe that’s mine.”

he spares me one look, before making a tch sound with his lips, throwing the reins toward me.

hanji briefs us a look, before whispering in a not-so-subtle voice, “are you sure it’s a good idea to pair them together? i don’t think the rookies need to hear their bickering all day.”

levi’s head snaps toward them, “we don’t bicker.”

“yeah. he’s just a pain in my ass most the time, that’s all.” i say with a smirk.

he looks to me. “if anything, you’re the thorn in my side. always needing saving, always complaining-“

“uh—! name one time i’ve ever needed your saving. and i don’t complain!”

“uh, let’s see, two days ago?” he deadpans.

“that was not saving—“

“yeah. you definitely don’t bicker.” jean chuckles.

“shut up, rookie!” levi and i say simultaneously. we look to each-other, opening our mouths to speak before erwin cuts us both off.

“today, you two. are you forgetting we have responsibilities? your flirting can wait till later.” erwin says, pulling the reins so his horse turns.

my face heats up. “we’re not flirting!” we say together again.

“stop saying what i say.” levi narrows his eyes.

“you’re saying what i’m saying!”

“you were given an order.” erwin’s voice hardens. erwin wasn’t usually too hard on us, but his patience can only stretch so far before it snaps.

i look down, and mutter a, “sorry, sir.”

he nods, just once. “good. now, we have a mission to get to.”

“yes sir!”

— - approx. one hour later . .

titans were all around us, at every angle. a huge herd just appeared out of no-where while we were travelling to the next way-point, and thank god we happened to be passing through a city.

levi and i were together, like usual, and we had all split up into groups of two. and like usual.. we made it into a competition.

“i bet you two training days i’ll kill more than you.”

“hah—! you got yourself a deal.” levi says, before turning and zipping away from me.

ahead of me were two ten-meter titans—easy money. i press the blade, zipping toward them, manoeuvring away from their hands and slicing my blade across his nape. it falls to the ground with a loud thud, and i lock my line to the second ones nape.

THUD.

. . . five titans later, i had gotten a bit carried away. i didn’t realize i was using so much gas, and that my blades were on their last pair.

shit, shit, shit! is all i can think as i race faster away from the five-meter titan right on my tail. i was dead, so dead. i had run out of gas, and i realised before i could think i had reached a dead-end. my leg is slashed from when i fell, and my run is looking more like a desperate limp.

the titan was closing in on me. i turned, scanning the area for something i could do, but that was it. i was cornered. there was no running.

the titan crouches in-front of me, and for the first time in my life i was truly, rawly scared. the titans never scared me when i was a kid, or a cadet, but now..

the titan’s mouth was curled into a horrifying smile. it’s eyes were bulging, hands and chin covered in blood from a previous city’s massacre.

this was it. as i was lifted off the ground, i accepted my fate. my eyes moved toward the sun. i didn’t want the last thing i’d look at to be it’s face.

huh. i never noticed how warm the sun was. i guess i should’ve appreciated nature a bit more. i would have, if i knew this was the day i was going to die.

it’s mouth opened. i could smell it’s foul breath, smelling of human flesh.

i guess you win, levi. just this once.

SHING!

“GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF OF HER!”

SLASH.

i fell to the ground. my back slammed against the pavement, and i cried out in pain. my head was fuzzy, mostly from the fall.

i hear the wind in my ear as i am picked up, and the sound of metal whipping as i’m brought to the roof.

my vision focuses when i am placed down on a roof. oh. it’s levi. he is speaking, but i can’t really hear him that well.

“damnit, damnit!”

his hands are on my face. his eyes are scanning me for injuries. why is he doing that? why does he care..

“fuck, please be okay, REINER, OVER HERE!”

“SAY SOMETHING!”

oh. now i can hear him.

i wince, my eyes fluttering as they focused on levi’s face. no, that can’t be levi.. why is he crying? levi wouldn’t cry.

“what happened?” i register it to be reiner’s voice, and i turn to him. i push myself up, crying out from the pain in my back, my head. i touch my hand to the back of my head, looking at the blood on my fingers.

“it’s alright, it’s nothing, i’m fine—!”

two arms are wrapped around me. clutching me tight. daring to never let go.

levi.. is hugging me.

“god damnit.. you idiot! what were you thinking?!”

“you’re.. hugging me.” i mean to say in my head, but i say out-loud by accident.

he pulls away, grasping my face in his hands. his hands are shaking. “don’t you ever do that again. you hear me?! i’ll give you damn stable duties everyday if you don’t smarten up!”

“i- you— i can’t promise i won’t—“

“nearly killing yourself over a stupid bet, really?! i can’t believe you—“

“levi.”

“out of all the stupid, idiotic, irrational things you’ve done—“

“levi—“

“seriously! if i didn’t get here when i did, you’d have been dead, and over what? an unsettled—“

“LEVI!”

“what?!”

i pant, placing a hand on his shoulder. “stop. fucking. talking.”

he stares at me for a second. then, a smile cracks on his lips. then a laugh. “i love you so fucking much.”

copr. goldessia. do not steal, plagiarize, translate, share on other platforms without credit/permission.

[anon383837383]

Stomach Flu Misery

Two weeks ago the stomach flu ran through this house. My wife Amy, my oldest son Drew, and my youngest best son Chris all got the bug and were sick for days. I remember the gurgling, the churning, and nausea and the god awful puking and diarrhea (sometimes at the same time). I somehow managed to miss out on it, or at least I thought so. Each of them were sick for days with no breaks - just constant sickness. Amy and the kids were away this weekend for a soccer tournament and I had the house to myself. 

My day started out good! I woke up, got some stuff done around the house, ate some breakfast, things were fine. I started to get some gurgling in my belly but I thought it was nothing. By lunch time, my stomach was like a boiling pot and I knew exactly what was happening. “Fuck, no not now!” I said as I looked at my bloated stomach.  “No come on I thought I was in the clear!” My stomach boiled and bubbled and the nausea was at full force. I sat down and turned on the TV hoping a distraction might help calm me down. About 2 minutes into the show I had a hand over my mouth and a hand on my stomach. “Oh Crap I’m gonna throw-“ I couldn’t finish the sentence. I ran to the toilet and gripped onto it and a waterfall of vomit cascaded out of my mouth and nose. I struggled to catch my breath in between rounds. Sick just poured out of me again and again. I held onto that toilet until I was white knuckled. When I was done (or at least thought I was done) I sat back and looked at my stomach.  I sent so much stuff out of my stomach and it only gurgled and churned more. “Great, so much for a relaxing weekend” I said to my aching gut. 

I finally managed to get up and out of the bathroom, though it was only a matter of time before I was back in there. I remember when Chris had it, he was so sick he was having massive amounts of diarrhea while projectile vomiting into a bucket. It was bad. I really hope I didn’t get to that level. I sat back down on the couch where my stomach churned and gurgled. About an hour later I felt the diarrhea coming. Once again I rushed to the toilet where I unleashed holy hell onto it. In the middle of my stream I felt really nauseous but I managed to hold it all down. This is gonna be a really long weekend. 

A few hours passed and things were heading south…or out, you know what I mean! I felt beyond sick. My stomach looked like I was 47 months pregnant and it felt like I had a bag of snakes in there. I held it and tried to soothe it but it was no use. I had a bucket close to the couch and thank god I did because I woke up from a nap and immediately projectile vomited into it, nearly filling it up. My stomach kept churning so I went to the bathroom where it finally happened. 

The first wave of diarrhea hit me and came flying out like lava. In the middle of it, the nausea came back with a vengeance! My bucket was still by the couch and it was full from the last round. I tried. I tried so hard to hold it back but I just couldn’t do it. The bathroom trashcan was full and I couldn’t reach it. I had no choice but to lean over and violently vomit onto the floor. “Nnnngghhhh BLARGAHHAFRGHH” the god awful sound came out of me and all over the floor. My mouth and nose burned as it flew out. The diarrhea just kept coming and so did the vomit. I stopped vomiting for a second and that’s when I surveyed the damage. If I could throw the whole bathroom away I would. Now, as sick as I am, I have to clean up this mess. I mustered up the last bit of strength inside of me and cleaned this room. I also made sure I had plenty of buckets around so this wouldn’t happen again. I crawled my ass back into bed and plopped right down. I fell asleep for hours in that bed. I thought that last round was, well, the last round! 

It’s 3am and I wake up with the loudest gurgling I’ve ever heard. “Oh God not again” I think to myself. No, no, no this can’t be happening! I wish there was a word for what I felt because nauseous just didn’t sum it up. I tried to make it to the toilet but the first vomit was right there on the bedroom floor. When I felt more coming, I ran to the bathroom but barfed in the hallway. I was determined to finish this in the bathroom so I got back up and headed to the toilet. My stomach is SCREAMING at me at this point. When I reached that toilet I wrapped one arm around it (the other was around my stomach) and I don’t even know what happened. The amount of barf that left my mouth and nose was ungodly. In the middle of this powerful, loud, messy vomiting, my ass opens up and I shit my pants and all over the floor. This goes on for like 10 minutes. When I finish I look around and I’m horrified. There’s no way this is happening. I have to clean all this up and I don’t even know if I’m done or not! 

I clean everything up, every piece of shit and vomit is picked up. It’s a brand new day and I’m stuck in this cycle of sick. At this point I don’t even know how there’s anything left to get out of me. I think I’m done, the gurgling stopped (for the most part) and I’m not horrifically nauseous anymore. I get back into bed and pray I’m done. I sleep for almost a whole day. There’s some gurgling here and there but nothing compared to what I just went through. I’ve gone almost 9 hours without opening one end or the other, I think I’m good. 

I tried eating and drinking a little here and there and it’s stayed down for the most part. I think I’m good! 

Almost 24 hours after this whole thing started, I get another gurgle. “Oh GOD, no please - no more” I think to myself. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t possible have anything left to send up and out. I feel everything churning again and I know what’s going to happen. Sure enough, I run back to the toilet and I projectile vomit, spraying the toilet. This time is different though, I feel better after this. I think I’m finally done which is great because the whole family is coming home tonight. 

[hopelesshaidys]

.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

“So yeah, that’s what I would like to do for this shoot! Any questions?”

You sat in the conference room that was just down the hall from the shoot with the all the workers for Bakugou’s shoot. Three nights ago, You and Hitoshi stayed up until 3AM discussing literally every single detail of the shoot. You had made not only a pamphlet that went along with the presentation but a whole slide show that explained why you decided on everything. Toshi said it was overkill, and you said it wasn’t enough.

You stood there as they talked amongst themselves and tried to avoid Bakugou’s piercing gaze as you stood nervously picking at you button up. You didn’t have to dress as professionally for the first time you came here because it was only a test run, so you were able to get away with jeans and tennis shoes. However for this meeting you had to wear dress pants that felt a little more tight than the last time you wore them along with a classic white button up and your favorite black heals.

“If that’s something you don’t like however I do have a whole binder full of ideas that we could start with but of course it would take a day or two to come up with more elaborate ideas-“

“It’s more than enough Miss l/n, in fact we can’t think of a single reason as to why we wouldn’t want to do this. Right Bakugou?”

Everyone in the room turned to him, forcing you to do the same. It was like torture! Every glance of him brought back more memories of that hour and a half worth of the messiest make out session you’ve ever experienced. How can so many things happen in only an hour and a half?! Maybe it’s just his charm, maybe that’s his secret. He’s a hell of an awful kisser but so much can happen in such a short amount of time. Maybe that’s just his whole gist in general! There was so much to learn about this man, and you hated that fact that you wanted to know everything.

“Yeah, I like it.”

Everyone in the room cheered as you and Bakugou maintained eye contact. You smiled at him, trying to be polite but that only ended in him bashfully turning his head away. You stood there still smiling, was it possible you were making the great Bakugou Katsuki flustered?

As everyone started to walk out, Bakugou’s agent, Allison Marks went up to you and hugged you. You were a little taken back but you remembered that Ochacko was the same way when you first met her, so you allowed it and squeezed her back.

“That was incredible! I’ve never seen such focus and passion into this kind of stuff! I mean you had every pose, every lighting change, every angle, every outfit, and even every makeup look! How did you do it?”

You blushed smiling, not having gotten this kind of recognition in a long time.

“I had an amazing friend who got me off my ass and made me work, he brings out the best in me.”

Allison melted at your words, “that is the most beautiful sentiment I’ve ever heard, y/n. You are just such a remarkable woman!”

She gave you one last quick hug, then raced out of the room to catch up with the rest of the team, little did you know Bakugou stayed behind.

“She’s way too energetic for her own good,” Bakugou leaned on the table as you cleaned up the room. You looked up at him before smiling at the thought of her bright aura.

“Yeah but it’s so refreshing to have in this line of work, not a lot of people think of photography as art anymore.”

Bakugou cocked an eyebrow at you, watching you closely.

“Art? You think all of this is art?”

You stopped what you were doing for a moment, before standing up fully again and looking at him. His answer seemed genuine but you still didn’t really know they guy. His voice was gruff and his face was pretty much always the same, except when he gets mad, now that’s something you’d like to watch with popcorn in your hands.

“Of course it’s art. There’s so much creativity and thought that goes into this process, I mean did you not just see my whole presentation?”

You shut the computer down quickly before walking over to the blond, who was now looking very amused at your new frustration.

“Look, you may not understand because all you have to do is stand there and look pretty but the people who work on this really do put a lot of human emotion and expression into making this successful. That’s the key with art, it’s more than just showing sweat drip down your glorious abs.”

You rolled your eyes as you walked away from him, not wanting to be any closer in fear you would somehow black out and end up kissing him again. In your defense his cologne is really strong.

“You think my abs are glorious?”

His tone was teasing, almost like he was testing the waters with you.

What was wrong with this guy? He’s so full of it that he didn’t even pay attention to anything that you said except for the one compliment!

“I’ll see you in ten Bakugou, enjoy your break.”

You tried not to sneer at the selfish man next to you as he passed you, and thankfully he got the hint and let you leave.

“Shit.”

You had finally gotten home after a long day of Bakugoy torturing you. It was so weird because it seemed like he was trying to mess with you but any time you tried to match his energy, he looked the other way and pretended you didn’t exist. What was this guy’s problem! You just wanted to shove him into a wall and make out with him talk things out so it wasn’t awkward anymore. He just wasn’t professional. That was it. He was too immature and you didn’t have to think about him ever again after this.

You were able to calm down by having your third cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table with your laptop. Your team was able to get a lot of good shots today, and they wanted you to edit the pictures they got. The only problem was that the company that you work for now has a contract with this new editing software. They explained it in further detail but your shift was over and you have a nasty habit of turning off your brain whenever your shift ends.

“What is it?” Hitoshi came over to where you were sitting, chewing obnoxiously in your ear causing you to shove his face away. He just laughed and continued chewing, grossing you out further.

“I swear to go Toshi if you get cookie crumbs on my brand new laptop-“

“I’ve never seen this website, what is it?”

You rolled your eyes at his lame way to change the topic but you let him do it anyways.

“I…honestly don’t know. I genuinely have no idea where to even start with this.”

Toshi finally swallowed his food and leaned towards the computer. It did make you giggle a bit, he needed glasses but is refusing to even think about it making him look like an old person whenever he looks at a screen.

“Oh shit yeah, this actually looks like something from the future.”

You chuckled before swatting him away, trying to figure it out on your own. You created a whole career by yourself, all self taught for fucks sake! You can figure this one software program, everything is “new” at one point, you’ll totally make this your bitch!

“y/n you’ve been cursing up a storm for the past ten minutes, just email asking to use a different editing program.”

You grunted, letting your head fall on the table. You stared at the rings that still scattered across your fingers, not yet taking them off from work. Then, you thought of Bakugou again. You literally couldn’t get him out of your head, you’ve only been working at that stupid place for a week and you’ve already found yourself infatuated by him! That’s ridiculous, and not you. After the shit that your first ex made you go through you promised that you wouldn’t get as attached again, not unless it was a long term relationship. You hated situationships and how awful relationships had been for you. You just wanted to find someone you felt at home with.

“Hey, take a break, we can figure this out later.”

You sat up, taking a deep breath and realizing there was a small tear running down your face. You’ll be alright. You’ll find the right person when it’s time.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a second”

You got up and headed to your room, where you were finally able to take off all the little pieces of jewelry and makeup off, and put on some comfortable clothes. As of right now you are home, and that’s good enough for you.

~

“No way! Toshi you never told me you were into Kaminari! This completely changes things!”

You fell back onto the cough laughing as Hitoshi covered his face with a pillow. You couldn’t say you didn’t see this coming, it was quite obvious the day of the party when you introduced him to each other. They already knew of each other from college but you weren’t aware of how many classes they had together and how much Hitoshi watched Kaminari’s channel.

“Shut up. I never told you because I knew you would would be a dick about it.”

You immediately stopped laughing and sat back up. “Toshi! I’m sorry if I ever made you feel uncomfortable, I want to be that person you go to for everything.”

You tried to give him your most impressive puppy dog eyes but all you got in return was a pillow to the face.

“You are the person I go to for everything dipshit, it’s just this is embarrassing and I know I’ll never have the chance to go out with him-“

“Toshi!” you moved the pillow and grabbed your best friend’s shoulders. His eyes widened but quickly went back to his resting “i’m judging you” face. You leaned in close to his face, so close your foreheads were touching. You knew he hated this proximity but you needed him to understand the words that were about to come out of your mouth.

“You are one of the most wonderful person, if not the most wonderful person I have ever met. There is no way in hell he wouldn’t be interested in you.”

Toshi stayed like that for a bit, arms crossed firmly on his chest before allowing his body to fall backwards into the couch. You stared at him, examining his body language. If you hadn’t known him for so long it would have been hard for you to read him, but right now you could tell that he was definitely thinking really hard, trying to comprehend what you had just said to him.

“Kaminari is really good at editing things, I bet you could get him to do it for you.”

Your eyes widened before you hoped up on your feet, scaring Hitoshi.

“Toshi! You’re a genius!” You rushed over and grabbed his face before planting a firm kiss on his forehead. “I knew you were my best friend for a reason.”

You raced to the kitchen where your phone was charging and opened twitter as fast as you could. You only had his twitter, hoping his DMs weren’t flooded with fans trying to talk to him.

“You know I hate it when you do that!”

You smiled as you typed away on your phone, putting it down after you sent a quick explanation to him.

“You know you love it. Want some more popcorn?”

“Duh.”

.・。.・゜✭・.✫・゜・。.

this is why we can’t have nice things…literally

i think i got way too carried away with this one…i just didn’t want to have to do a shit ton for sunday’s post

speaking of sunday! im planning on doing some more written content for that post, and im gonna do a post with a poll if y’all are cool with that. i don’t wanna like explode ur brain with so much plot yk? if y’all are sick of my writing then i’ll just do a silly filler episode or smth idk i’ll think of smth

fun facts! ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

- katsuki was definitely staring at y/n’s ass during her presentation

- katsuki didn’t mean to be rude when he asked y/n the question, it was genuine! he just sucks at showing emotion and y/n isn’t used to his weird behavior/personality yet

- katsuki is also not used to flirting like he thinks he’s soooo good at flirting (he’s not) but when someone he’s actually into reciprocates it freaks him the fuck out

- after they graduated high school bkg basically did the whole speech he did to izuku in the manga and apologized, they both cried and are now on good terms and their families hang out together on holidays again :)

- shoto is low key jealous of bkg, not in a toxic way, just like a pouting puppy, to which izuku always makes sure to smother his face in kisses to make him feel better 🥺

- idc if you agree or not bkg DEFINITELY says “lol” to piss of kami bc he knows it brothers him

- y/n and toshi are siblings your honor. and if you don’t obnoxiously chew in your sibling’s ear are you really siblings?

- toshi follows kami on EVERYTHING, it’s kinda pathetic :/

- kami is nocturnal. that’s it. that’s all i have to say about that.

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[ambient-anemoia]

is this really okay?

it's 3am and i can't sleep. i suppose there's nothing new there, but i think it's been a long time since i last felt this way.

i started on a new medication about a month ago, but i ran out recently and it's driving me a bit crazy. for a long time i thought that was just my personality, but the meds made the craziness go away for a little while so maybe it wasn't. or maybe it really is my personality and the meds just plastered a fake one on top, like placing a shiny mahogany veneer over an ancient wooden table to hide the rot underneath. i don't mind becoming a different person though, not when the original was so awful.

i killed you a few weeks ago. i keep reliving it in my head, the knife plunging into your chest over and over, the blood staining your shirt and the floor and my hands. you stayed dead for a week this time. that's the longest you've been gone from Outer Space, or at least the longest since i moved here. i thought you might stay dead forever. when you weren't here i paced around my kitchen in the middle of the night like a zombie, muttering to myself and thinking intently of you. i didn't think i'd miss you so i was startled by the intensity of the feeling. i missed you so badly i felt like i had died too.

i saw you again on the train back to my hometown. we stood side by side in the space between two carriages, watching the countryside speed past us out of the tiny window. our conversation was quiet, void of the anger which had been our constant over the last few months. we became friends, real friends, and for the first time since i met you i saw you as a person and not just a toy that i could throw away as soon as i got bored of it. we moved back in together, watched love actually on christmas day (it was the first time you had seen it), started a joint terraria world and spent seventy hours playing together, went outside in the snow and built snow people, watched sonic three at the cinema (i cried into your shoulder when live and learn played). i thought the rage inside me had fallen deeply asleep. i thought i was finally getting over him. i thought perhaps one day i could come to love you.

i started on a new medication about a month ago, but i ran out recently and it's driving me a bit crazy. my devil had long been caged, he came out roaring. just now i mentioned that person and i saw you react, you didn't even say anything but i knew you were upset because you always get upset when i mention him and suddenly i was filled with so much rage it made me dizzy. i started berating you but stopped mid-sentence to argue with myself out loud because how dare you defy me because you have every right to feel that way because you know full well i hate it when you get jealous because it was my fault for even talking about him in the first place because we agreed that we would be honest with each other no matter what so why do you make me feel like i'm walking on eggshells when i tell you how i really feel because i shouldn't have gotten involved with you when i was already tangled up with someone else because you should just shut the fuck up and do what i say because i swore to myself i wouldn't hurt you again because you should have stayed dead because i can't live without you

and by the time i snapped out of it i had dug my nails into your shoulder so hard they were stained red and you were giving me a pitiful expression and i hated you so much i wanted to crush every bone in your body i wanted to pummel your internal organs into mush i wanted to see blood blood blood blood blood blood blood

my vision was getting fuzzy and there were colours swirling around you where there shouldn't have been colours (there is no colour in Outer Space) and i felt sick just like i did yesterday when i was having another breakdown and i watched you die over and over and over and over you and your predecessor too i remembered the blood your chest the teeth his neck Outer Space is built on corpses they are rotting do you hear them cry out do you smell the rot do you do you do you do you

i left Outer Space because i didn't want to hurt you. it's the first time i've walked away instead of doing something heinous. is that enough to salvage this?

it's 4am and i can't sleep. i want to go home but i don't think i should be around you when i'm this unstable. i don't know what to do

[chimney-cake]

For the one person, who'd always made, makes and will keep on making an appearance in my books. For simplicity, let's call him Jack.

So.

For Jack.

So. Jack was quite something.

And I loved him. Honestly? I still do and I won't ever be over him. Never. I tried...

There's a thing that I love in English grammar: the difference between the past simple and the present perfect tenses. Even their names are telling you something. When you use past simple, you describe a moment that was. One moment, maybe repetitive, but it has no effect on the present. It's a simple event. On the other hand, the present perfect is used for 4 things: an event that hasn't occurred yet (I haven't seen the see yet), a recent event (I've just mopped the floor); and the other two are those I'd like to emphasize: a thing that started in the past and continues in the present (I've been living here since 1884), and a thing that happened in the past and has a consequence regarding the present(I've broken the neighbors' window). That's why I can say this:

He loved me, I've loved him.

And it's not that I want to. I've been trying for ages to forget Jack. But when we parted, he and I both disappointed me. I want to forget forever that the happiness we shared ended. But, and I hate the human brain for this, every time I experience a minor disappointment with anything, a barely passed exam, help I expected and didn't receive, I recall the heartbreak we caused me. Over and over again, more and more often, more than I'd like to admit.

I ran out of his time and of opportunities. And what really hurts, physically, that I had those, opportunities. Millions of them. (We've never been together together.) But nooo. I thought it's better I cut things off. So I did. Later on came another guy (let's not call him anything), and I realized I wasted energy, time and love on him after two years. During this two years I convinced myself that I loved him and he was the one for me. During this two years, I felt something missing, but it didn't even occur to me that it was Jack. During the second of the 2 years I wrote multiple poems about a bat that would comfort me in the darkness. When Jack and I chatted it was usually between 11pm and 3am. We just talked via the internet, several miles apart, yet so close to each other. Frankly, I filled in the empty space he's absence made in heart with poems I didn't even know were about him. I thought it was the other guy not being with me.

And after two years I realized. It was Jack. It was the dark prince of the Night and the Moon, and I was his princess he'd dance with at a wild, masquerade-macabre. I remember breaking down to tears when I saw the connection. I cried because of how stupid I had been. I could've use the years to step into the relationship but I spent them on a (now) priest.

Yes, a priest. The moment he told me planned on becoming one and he already enrolled. I felt stupid. I saw it coming yet I ignored it completely with all my conscience. When he told me, we were on the phone, so he couldn't see my reaction: I slumped into the couch like a sack of potato, with all my weigh and without any power. Of course, I congratulated him and was glad I was the third person he told. Excluding his parents.

That summer, I started texting Jack again. I exploded with euphoria as he texted back (immediately) for the first time in 2 years. And every night we chatted it was like drug. He was like drug. And, every morning, I woke up after a chat, I was so happy for the whole day.

But every night felt different than two years ago. It wasn't the same but wasn't less lovey. I decided to confess. We managed to find a place and time to meet at, and we talked and walked. We were walkie-talkies. For 4 hours we chatted about nothing and everything. But then we had to speak. I did, he did. He said he had time but not for me. Not for a romantic relationship. He said that he was selfish, he thought he was a bad influence on me and he wants to focus on his future.

In my mind I said "Boy that's what I want, I want to care for you, take care of you, to back you up, to help, love, admire, encourage, worship you. That's what lovers are for! To rely on each other! And I don't care about finance, I don't care if you're selfish, seriously, that's your only error! I want to rely on you emotionally, I know you can give my mind and soul support!... And I know you love me too." I know.

That was one disappointment.

But at that brilliant moment of extraordinary stupidity, I whispered:

"It's getting late, I should head home." That was the other disappointment.

He accompanied me to the bus stop and on the way there he asked what I expected regarding this meet-up. I told him I wanted honesty and I got it. I said I was sorry for not being able to talk about my feelings. It's very hard for me.

(I can write about it.)

He agreed.

The bus left and we haven't talked since.

And I'd like you to remember the paragraph about English grammar...

...I think this is why we say right person at a wrong time.

[kimsohn]

tysm for the tag matty!! (so excited for all of ur wips omggg)

3 published fics:

it takes 2 to mango (choi beomgyu) ⇢ my most recent fic!! it took me two months to write this and i'm pretty happy with the result <3 it's also my first long fic which is a huge milestone for me but tbh it's a very cute summer read and it's very dear to my heart also i wrote beomgyu so boyfriend material like i want one too

we all want what we can't have (sim jake) ⇢ i wrote this fic like 1-2 years ago for a secret santa collab and didn't do very well at first, so i changed the idol and reposted it here and it did a lot better! i have a love hate relationship with this fic bc it's in a different writing style but it was my first fic ever so i have no choice but to like it 😞 i do think prince jake is a stunner though like i was giggling and blushing as i wrote it

in each other's arms (song mingi) ⇢ this fic was so silly and so fun, i'm not an atiny but i'll always have a soft spot for mingi and i think it definitely showed in this fic! still don't even know how i came up with the idea for this but i do remember writing it all at 3am LOLL and i woke up really sick the next day but it was definitely worth it

3 wips:

in the morning (lee minho) ⇢ this is coming out next month on halloween!! i will be posting a teaser soon that's all i have to say 🤭

how to (not) get away with murder (eric sohn) ⇢ this teaser has been sitting in my drafts for like months now 😭 i love this fic i just need to find time to sit down and plan it properly bc a lot happens in the fic! it's based on one of my fav kdramas and i've been very secretive about it bc one of the main plot points is very surprising (i haven't even told xan about it yet so stay tuned)

lost in translation (ji changmin) ⇢ i came up with this in my run on phase and i still haven't finished it but it's okay i am working on it! for the request sitting in my inbox for like a year now this is for you (don't hate me xan) also y/n is so real! changmin is so beautiful that if i had the time i would pull up a picture of him and "analyze his voice" too

tagging: @seung-scrittore @jangwonie @gfksn @jennaissantes @luvhyun3 @wonwooslibrary @wuahae @sungie + anyone who wants to do it (no pressure but also i would love to read ur wips)

post snippets from 3 wips and 3 published fics,

( thank you cece @userjuyo, & moni @zzoguri for tagging me, and sorry.. for the late.. )

3 published fics :

1. summer is not over, park jongseong

pretty sure i already talked about this one, it's not a long fic or anything, but i wrote it with a particular state of mind and i recommend that you take a good look at the warnings before reading it, it's not a bright story.. but anyway, it's here because this writing have a special place in my heart 🤍

2. cold hands, lee juyeon

okay i don't know why i only talk about angst here but listen : i was in my all of us are dead period and i really needed to write something about it. with my favorite boyz. and unfortunately, juyeon was the victim. but i promise it's good! heartbreaking, but good..!

3. yarrow, choi chanhee

this is from my discontinued serie “ sorry, for breaking your heart ” which consisted of letters that y/n wrote to all the boys she loved in her life before she died. and i think chanhee was her first love? can't remember honestly, and i'm quite sad maybe one day i'll write this series again, who knows?

3 wips :

1. rain of memories, eric sohn

okay so, this one is one of my countless entries in a collab created by yena, which unfortunately was cancelled, but which i decided to write anyway. i really like the plot.. and i hope to have the faith to finish it one day so that other people can read it..!

2. partners in crime, lee hyunjae & lee juyeon

okay so, this one is probably one of my longest writing, even if i'm having trouble finishing it. it's mainly angst and full of trauma/drama, but i swear it's cool to read and i hope that one day i'll have written it all down 👌🏻

3. cinderella's dead, yang jungwon & park jongseong

okay so, my enhypen' smau which is currently on hiatus but which i'm increasingly keen to continue. this is a snippet from chapter 4, but which i still haven't published.. what a shame-

i can't remember who's already been tagged but i'm pretty sure i haven't seen @invuwrld, @lost-leopard-beanie, @heemingyu, @enluv, @iwonzz, @kimsohn do it yet so.. correct me if i'm wrong ��

[judeswhore]

can u please write something abt stealing jude’s hoodies or just wearing his clothes in general 🫠

this has been in my inbox since DECEMBER and i was clearing it out so i just thought i’d post a little something since i’ve had a lot of people ask

this is kinda short and shit but anyway <3

it had become a somewhat subconscious habit at this point. reaching into jude's wardrobe, fingers automatically finding a piece of clothing that was definitely his, whether it be a shirt, a hoodie, sometimes even a pair of his joggers, and slipping it on without even a seconds thought. you'd stopped asking forever ago, had simply adopted the attitude that his clothes were yours so much so that now you sometimes did forget which things didn't belong to you.

not that jude minded, there was nothing he adored more than seeing you kitted out in his things. his tummy turned to mush and the smile on his face almost hurt whenever he spotted you in one of his hoodies, finger tips just peaking out from the sleeves. he liked it even more when you worked the hoodie he was already wearing, off him, fingers tugging at the hem, pulling and giggling until he was slipping it over his head. before he even had the chance to get excited you were undressing him for other reasons, you were pulling it on yourself, head popping out from the hole with that devious grin, chin tipping down so you could tuck your nose away in the collar and breathe him in.

"how do you keep them so soft?" jude would roll his eyes, arms wrapping around you to pull you into his chest, defeated to the fact he'd most likely lose the hoodie for a while. he'd get it back eventually, when it had lost his scent and it's softness, when you found something else of his you liked more and then the cycle would continue.

your tendency to never wear your own things meant jude wasn't at all surprised when you met him at the airport after his flight back to dortmund, your entire outfit one he was certain he'd wore only days before leaving you. he knew for sure the blue hoodie was his, it was relatively new and he distinctly remembered your chastising tone over how much it had cost. the joggers too he was certain belonged in his drawer, grey and a little washed out, rolled a few times at your ankles to make them fit. despite the distance still between you he had a sneaky feeling that the blue socks on your feet were his too, his head shaking as his lips tilted into a smile.

it was almost 3am and he could tell you were tired, face soft and a little clouded with sleep as though you'd not long since woke up, your body bouncing lazily on the balls of your feet. you hadn't spotted him yet, too busy watching a family reunite with their dad, a hand written card most definitely done by the two little boys being waved in the air.

"you've never shown up with one of those for me." his voice startled you, your look of shock turning quickly to a grin, eyes lighting up as the sleepy expression cleared instantly. you practically launched yourself at him, arms around his neck, face tucked away against his throat and his soft "umph" of surprise vibrated through you. a giggled apology was pressed into his skin, lips warm and comforting. "missed me?"

"maybe just a little." jude dropped his bag to the floor beside you so he could wind his arms around your waist, his head turning so he could press a kiss to the side of yours. he grinned into your hair.

"only a little?"

"mhm."

"you sure? because i'm kind of thinking you've tried to clone me." you untucked your face from the crook of his neck, head tilted back to meet his gaze, brows drawn together in confusion. one of his hands came up and tugged at the drawstring of the hoodie you were wearing, his smirk growing. "i'm sure this belongs to me."

you glanced down, brows smoothing over, lips parting and jude was certain you hadn't even realised what exactly you were wearing. he brushed his fingertips beneath the waistband of the joggers, blew out a breathy laugh when your eyes snapped back to his. "these as well are from my drawer and i'm sure those are a pair of socks your nan got me for christmas." you shuffled your feet and sent him a sheepish smile.

"they're the first things i grabbed."

"yeah?"

"i didn't even realise."

"i think you just missed me too much."

"they were at the top of the laundry pile."

"you can admit it, don't go all shy on me, baby." jude watched your eye roll and grinned, dipped his head to kiss you for the first time, soft and sweet before nudging your nose. his smile only grew wider when you tried to chase his mouth for more, lips turning pouty when he dodged your attempted kisses. "i bet you've raided my entire wardrobe haven't you?"

“have not.”

“what’re you wearing under these?” again the very tips on his fingers dipped into the back of your joggers and he watched your nose scrunch adorably, gaze shifting away from his. you dropped your arms from around his neck and instead pushed them around his waist, pressing into him until your chin was pressed into the front of his shirt. jude grinned and switched positions with you, his arms resting loose over your shoulders.

“your clothes are so much comfier than mine.”

“you’re lucky you’re pretty.” he cupped your jaw, ducked down and tilted your mouth up to slot softly over his. he kissed you slow, languid drags of his lips against yours until the both of you were breathless. he kissed the corner of your mouth, then your cheek, the tip of your nose, forehead last before grinning. he pulled the hood up over your head and twisted the drawstrings around fingers, pulled tight until your face was hidden behind the material.

you groaned loudly, swatted at his chest when he again kissed your nose through the little gap.

“you’re also lucky i think it’s cute when you wear my clothes otherwise you’d owe me thousands for theft.”

[kalisburnerphone]

Haruchiyo “I might be trigger happy” Akashi/Sanzu. Haru didn’t really listen to anybody besides Mikey. He did whatever the fuck he wanted,when and how he wanted without a care in the world.

Haru’s motto of ‘what’s mine is mine and what’s yours is also mine’ didn’t really work to well for him in his relationships because while whatever girl he’d chosen to give the time of day was giving 100 to the so called relationship, Haru did what he wanted and they never lasted.

That is until he met you. Haru had no idea how the fuck you were friends with the pet shop trio, mainly Keisuke’s mean mugging ass but he wanted you. You gave him quite the run for his money before you finally agreed to one date with him. As cliche as it was,you weren’t like the girls that he usually went for. Short, slim usually easy for him to manipulate.

You on the other hand, you didn’t buy his bullshit at all. You had walked out of the restaurant the moment he got too comfortable with the waitress and threatened to call the cops if he didn’t stop camping out in his car outside your apartment complex.He did stop camping out but only after he bought the entire complex in your name and moved in next door.

When you found out, you had made camp at Baji’s. It took him 3 months to get you to accept another date with him which his coworkers thought was odd given that Sanzu was never short on pussy but apparently yours was all he wanted now and he hadn’t even gotten it yet.

That was 3 years ago and now Sanzu was a somewhat reformed man. He was still the same crazy fucker, albeit your crazy fucker who’d gone from fucking multiple women in a week to breaking your back multiple ways in a week.

Sanzu now firmly believed in a 50/50 effort when it came to relationships mainly the one with you, fuck everyone else tbh. Which brings him to his current situation. He currently at a Bonten warehouse, he may have told a little lie when you asked where he heading off to at 3am but he’d make it up to you.

Ran had informed him that the individual he’d ask them to find was currently sitting in their club. Sanzu waited for him in the parking lot and just as he was about to cross towards the section where his car was parked, ran his ass over , twice, and then tossed him in the trunk.

Said individual is now hanging upside down in a Bonten warehouse with Haru’s trigger happy ass.

“Who the fuck are you?”

Sanzu giggles,fucking giggles. Maybe he was a bit high, you’d both indulged in some new grade of weed Kazutora was harvesting but the fact still stood that clearly he didn’t run him over hard enough.

“Who I am really isn’t important here. What’s important is that you think very hard about what I’m about to ask you cause I may just put a bullet in your skull if I don’t like it.”

“The fuck do you want?”

“Two nights ago at Luxe, at a company dinner, you made a comment towards a young woman.”

“Is that what this is about? Tha fat bitch sent you to beat me up?” The mans scoffs before spitting blood on Sanzu’s shoes.

“Ah, you remember. She has no idea that I’m doing this. I don’t like when people make my wife uncomfortable, you see, she’s taught me that a relationship should be 50/50. And for me that means that my baby wears whatever the fuck she wants and I deal with little fucks like you, who make her uncomfortable.”

Sanzu slips his gun back into the holster deciding that killing him won’t be as fun as turning him into a human vegetable. He grabs one of Rin’s baseball bats and starts using it to push the mans body like a swing set.

“I bought that pretty little outfit she wore that day and my baby was so happy until your dumbass opened your mouth. It’s been brought to my attention that this ain’t the first time either. You used to hit on my woman until you found out she had a man, then she became a “fat bitch”. “Don’t you think a size bigger would fit you better?, why you always eating?”

Sanzu didn’t understand why you didn’t tell him shit like this was happening, instead he had to hear it for himself while he was having dinner with the boys. You weren’t fat, you definitely had a fat ass but that’s besides the point. You were healthy and happy with your body so who gave this irrelevant fuck the audacity to tell you shit like that at work?

Sanzu wasn’t having it, he’d deal with the situation and every time this fucker saw you he’d turn the other direction. The first swing lands to his ribs and the scream that ripples through the air has Sanzu smiling manically.

By the time he’s finished he’s positive he’s broken enough body parts to get his message across. He has a couple lackies drop the idiot off in front of the hospital. He takes a shower before heading home. You’re wrapped up in his silk sheets, naked save for the pair of panties you’d slipped on after he had his way with you. Arms wrapped around his pillow as you slept peacefully.

Sanzu smiles as he watches you ‘cause yeahhhh he’d definitely commit murder for you.

[finelinevogue]

sleep is for the strong

Description - you suffer from narcolepsy and Harry is always there for you

A/N - just like to say i don't suffer from narcolepsy, but i had a look at how different people are effected to write this. sorry if it offends anyone. i'd be happy to change bits if it isn't accurate!

warnings : narcolepsy, swearing

Ever since you were little all you wanted to do was sleep. Sleep is all you've ever known.

It wasn't because you were lazy or dysfunctional, it was because you had been blessed with narcolepsy. However, having narcolepsy was not the worst thing in the world.

Narcolepsy is beyond annoying, but it can be used to your advantage in unfortunate situations. For example if someone's speaking to you that you don't like, or you just can't be arsed to listen to, you can just pretend to fall asleep and then blame it on your medical condition. It is annoying though when you and your boyfriend, Harry, are trying to have a nice meal out somewhere and you can't help but fall asleep.

Your story with Harry was a funny one.

Your friend and you, not so long ago now, had bought tickets to a Harry Styles concert. You had made your friend buy the tickets because you were hopeless when it came to the internet. What you forgot to tell her was your price budget, which then ended up with you both having front row tickets - it was every fans’ dream.

The concert started off amazingly well, with Harry performing - in your opinion - some of the best songs towards the start of the show. This was beneficial to you, and you alone, because halfway through the show you started to become very very tired. It was when you had to rest your head on your friends shoulder and catch a few winks that Harry noticed you. To this day it is still the most humiliating thing that's happened to you - what with your face being put up on the big screen by a passing cameraman.

You remember Harry making a joke about how you were finding him boring and he was putting you to sleep, and you had to shout back saying that it was nothing personal. For some reason Harrys interaction with you made you feel more alive and you were able to get through the rest of the show. Harry kept close to the area that you were standing in, for the rest of the show, and you liked to believe that he even sang to you at one point.

Towards the end of the show, when your post concert depression was starting to kick in, you received a note from one of the concert ushers. What you never expected it to be was a note from the man who had been teasing you himself.

Hi! My name is Harry, call me so I can find out yours x

He had so smoothly written in the note. You were flattered that he had even took the time out of his day to write you such a note, so you obviously called him up with your name.

From then on, you two had been inseparable.

When you explained to Harry that you have narcolepsy he was not phased. You expected him to run away just like every other boyfriend you'd had, but he stayed. Harry always assured you that it's no big deal, but you couldn't help but feel sorry for him sometimes. When he comes home from a long day at work all he probably wants to do is be with you, but you are normally asleep and it makes you feel bad for putting him in this situation.

He has to put up with a lot from you. You're quite the trouble maker for someone who's never gone a day without having more than 12 hours sleep.

•••••

Harry was currently in the midst of his press tour for his new album, Fine Line.

It was your favourite album in the history of music, let alone his music. Harry had played the album to you one night on the way home from a boring business meeting, complaining how he needed to do something fun that night. So, the spontaneous pair you are, ended up driving around your town until 3am listening to the album on repeat. You couldn't pick a favourite track, but Fine Line itself has brought tears to your eyes.

Harry was doing interviews today at a pop up store in London. He was currently sat in a room with people shuffling around him, making him look pretty and preparing him for types of questions he might get asked. Sarah was currently sat on a sofa, behind where all the cameras were set up, with you. You hadn't really made an effort to look nice today, considering you were going to be sitting around all day and at some point you knew you were going to fall asleep. You'd gone with one of Harry's, oversized, grey hoodies and then some black joggers and vans.

You look like a Primark next to Gucci Harry.

Lou was dusting some foundation on Harry’s face as the first interviewers filed into the room, at which point Harry stood up to greet them by shaking their hands - such a gentleman. You yawned to yourself, feeling yourself about to drift off and so bunched yourself up tight in the corner of the sofa, knees close to your chest, and pulled the hood over your head.

Harry had seen you manoeuvre and, being the protective boyfriend he was, excused himself to make his way over to you for a moment. He crouched down in front of you and held onto your knees for balance.

"You okay gorgeous?" He asked. You hadn't fully gone to sleep yet and so were able to still hold conversation with him.

"Harry you're supposed to be doing an interview." You mumbled. He was always wary about you when you went to sleep. There has to be someone around you that monitors your heart rate to make sure it isn't too high, or too low, and Harry was that person. If your heart rate is abnormal then he had to call an ambulance, right away, to make sure you were okay otherwise you could end up in a coma. To make sure Harry knew you were okay all the time, he'd bought you a FitBit watch which monitors your heart rate and then synced up his FitBit with yours so he could monitor it too when he wasn't immediately next to you. You pointed to his wrist. "You know I'm okay."

"I know, I know. I just get nervous sometimes." You smiled at his concern and moved your tired arm up to cup his cheek, which he leaned into lovingly.

"It's okay to be nervous H, but I promise you I'm okay." He nodded in response, feeling more confident than before, as your hand stayed on his cheek. "And I'm only a sofa away from you. "

"Okay." Harry stood up and kissed you on your forehead before going back over to the sofa. You closed your eyes as you felt yourself drifting. He turned back to Sarah for a second though. "Just keep an eye on her, will you?"

"I'm fine H." You told him firmly, not wanting to get him in to trouble for staying with you . Your eyes were still closed. Sarah laughed next to you and you could hear Harry chuckle before heading over to the sofa for their interview. You heard the interviewer start before you fell asleep.

"Are we rolling?" The interviewer, Richard, asked his camera crew. They gave the man a thumbs up and then he began.

"Hi Harry! How are you doing today?" Richard asked.

"Good. Yeah all good. How are you? " Harry answered, looking over at you quickly - noticing you were asleep whilst taking a glance at the FitBit to check your vitals.

"I'm also good!" Richard laughed. "So I know you'll be getting asked this a lot but if you could describe your album in four words, what would they be?"

Harry counted each word on his fingers to make sure he would indeed say four words. "Umm... I'm not going to be too clever with my choice of words and go forr..." Harry drags out his last word before continuing. "Different. Mature. Retro. Passionate." Richard nodded his head in agreement.

"Why passionate? " Richard asked, wanting to hear some context to Harry’s choices.

"Because i’m really passionate about music, and the song writing process that comes with it, and I feel that that message comes across nicely when you listen to this album."

Harry took a quick opportunity to look down at the FitBit again.

You were still okay.

"What's your favourite song on the album?" Richard asked.

"That's tough." Harry drummed his fingers on his chin whilst looking to you for inspiration. "Personally my favourite is probably Sunflower Vol. 6. The song has a strong but simple meaning behind it and also it’s one that I think is going to be great to preform live. " Harry answered.

Little did the interviewer, or anyone except from Mitch, know that the song was inspired by you. Harry was in awe that nothing ever got in your way of life. No matter how awful something might be, you had this magical way of making the best out of a bad situation. It was one of Harry's favourite qualities about you. The fact you had narcolepsy didn't faze you, and Harry admired that. The song was written about you. A simple poem attached to a few chords. It was a love letter from Harry to you.

Harry does another check of his wrist, for you.

Richard has caught on to Harry checking his FitBit and so questioned him on it. "Are you alright Harry? You seem to be distracted by your watch."

Harry chuckled along with Richard, thankful he wasn't angry about it. "I'm sorry man. My girlfriend, over there, has narcolepsy and I'm just keeping a check on her heart rate." Harry pointed you out to interviewer and he just oh's in response, as if it all made sense now. Thankfully Richard wasn't annoyed that Harry was persistently diverting his attention off the interview, which Harry was very thankful for.

"I'm guessing she's the one sleeping?" Richard asked, understandably, since Sarah was sitting next to you, on her phone. Richard's question made Harry laugh, noticing the way you were slightly dribbling in your sleep.

"Yeah that would be correct." Harry still laughed, as he sat forward slightly, leaning to get a better angle of you. You looked so innocent, yet you were a right devil when you were awake. "Normally people are asking if she's the one who looks like she's high on sugar!" Harry joked.

Just because you had a medical condition that meant you wanted to sleep a lot of the time, didn't stop you from having fun. In fact it meant that you put the effort in to have more fun when you were awake. You know you pissed people off, because you always would have random bursts of energy when no one else did, but that was something they had to learn to deal with.

"Oh! Is she a trouble maker? She looks very peaceful right now though?" Richard joked. This interview had taken an unexpected turn which Harry nor Richard expected, but Richard knew the fans would love to see some content of Harry with his girlfriend and so kept it going. Richard was as nosey as the fans - wanting to see how his interviewees acted with their significant others as if the cameras weren't around.

"It's all an act." Sarah stated, which made Harry chuckle knowing exactly where Sarah was coming from. "She is actually the biggest diva."

"Facts." Harry responded, loving how he gets to talk about how special his girlfriend is so openly. Richard looked at them both in disbelief. "Honestly." Harry assured Richard. "She is the first on the dance floor, on a night out, and then the last also - she's hard work!" Harry smiled as he remembered the time you were about to fall asleep on the dance floor, and Harry came to move you to someplace quieter, but you threw a tantrum and petitioned to remain where you were. Harry couldn't say no to you, so he ended up giving you a piggy back, on the dance floor, for ten minutes whilst you slept.

He wouldn't have you any other way.

Harry looked down at his FitBit and noticed your heartbeat had sped up slightly. Either it was because you were about to wake up, or something was wrong. Richard and Jeff started talking about some finalities of the interview, so Harry zoned out for a moment, making sure you're okay. He was nervous for a minute but when he saw you shift in the sofa and stretch to rub your eyes, he calmed down and sat further back down into the sofa in comfort.

The interview continued for another few minutes before time was up. Richard thanked Harry and vice versa. You were now awake, but still a bit sleepy. Your subconscious has been aware of the voices in the room and so had distracted you from a good sleep.

You were scrolling through Instagram, to pass some time, when Harry appeared in front of you and Sarah.

"Stand up baby." Harry held his hands out for you.

"Told you I'd be okay." You said smugly and Harry rolled his eyes at you - letting you know that he knew you were right and that was something he'd never easily verbally admit.

You placed your phone on the flat arm of the sofa and allowed him to pull you up, giving you a quick kiss as he did. Harry sat down exactly where you'd been and pulled you down to sit on his lap. He had one arm wrapped securely around your waist as the other one was free to move when he talked. You laid your head back into his shoulder and continued to scroll through Instagram. Jeff stood up next to Sarah, after checking everyone was alright. You heard chatting and you were pretty sure everyone in the small room was conversing, but were too out of it to understand.

As you scrolled through your Instagram you liked a few pictures on the way down. A lot of your feed is your friends activity but you do also follow some Harry fan accounts, mainly because they're so sweet and also because the pictures of your man they post are beautiful. You came across a fan page which updated everyday with the best pictures of Harry and are always asking how their followers are. They're also a negative comment free zone, so there's never any hate and if there is it's removed.

You loved this page and this fan.

"Watcha looking at gorgeous?" Harry asked, before moving the hood away from your neck slightly so he could press a kiss there. He couldn't resist himself so had to leave a few, leaving a slight mark as he did so.

"Only the most stunning man I've ever seen." You said confidently, moving the phone to his face to show him a picture of himself. Harry laughed into your neck and squeezed your waist slightly in response.

"You're something else, you!" Harry joked, finding it flattering that you were looking at photos of him even if he hated looking at them himself. "Why though?"

"Why not? You look pretty darn good here H, and also this fan page is beautiful." You start explaining everything good about the account, and how they made you happy with their positivity and content. Harry just sat there and listened - in awe of the way you spoke so kindly about others. He pulled out his phone and logged on to his own Instagram. "What are you doing?"

He looked at the fans username and typed it in. He goes to the direct messages and composed a message to the fan that ran the account.

Hi! Harry here! Just messaging you to thank you for all your continuous support of me. You are amazing! Also Y/N was raving about your account to me and so i want to personally thank you for putting a smile on her face everyday! Keep it up! All the love. H x

You swore you could've cried at how generous and kind Harry was. That fan was going to have a heart attack, though. "Thank you." You said quietly before snuggling closely into him, attempting to give a hug.

"Anything for my angel." He kissed your forehead. It was true - he would do anything for you and you for him. You were the best team, even if you were a bloody handful at times.

[storiesforallfandoms]

small world ~ corpse husband

word count: 2053

request?: yes!

“Can I get a Corpse x fem reader where reader an corpse are both streamers and they meet each other for the first time and realize they used to know each other as kids? I know Corpse has said that he didn’t have many friends when he was younger so maybe have it where reader was someone that was really nice to him? Sorry for the long request and thank you if you do it! 😊🖤”

description: he never would’ve thought that the new addition to their friend group would be someone from his past

pairing: corpse husband x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“Hey Corpse,” Karl said. Corpse hummed in response, focused on the drawing he was doing for their Jackbox game. “(Y/N) is also from San Diego. Do you know her?”

(Y/N) chuckled. “Karl, San Diego is pretty big. We’re not bound to know one another. Besides, just because he lives here doesn’t mean he grew up here.”

“I did grow up in San Diego actually,” Corpse said. “I don’t think we would’ve known each other though. Even if we happened to be in the same area, I didn’t talk to many people and I dropped out in the seventh grade.”

“I was, regrettably, popular in school,” (Y/N) added.

“Regrettably?” Karl asked.

“Yeah. Looking back, I hated being popular. I hated it when I was popular even. My friends were mega jerks and made fun of everyone, even me sometimes. I would try and make them be nice but they just let the popularity go to their heads. I haven’t spoken to any of them since we graduated. There was this sort of outcast in middle school I used to have a crush on. I tried to be friends with him, but he preferred to keep to himself. I always wished I had been friends with him because I feel like I would’ve been so much happier. I never saw him again either. I wonder whatever happened to him.”

Something about her story triggered a memory in Corpse. The year before he dropped out, there was a girl in is class who was always nice to him and tried to talk to him. He brushed it off as another way he was being made fun of. When it kept up, though, he realized she was likely being genuine. He still kept his distance, but he found himself gaining some feelings for her as well. When he dropped out, he never heard from her again.

I wonder where she is now, Corpse thought to himself. Man, what was her name?

Corpse accidentally gasped, drawing the attention of everyone in the Discord call.

“You good Corpse?” George asked.

“Y-Yeah,” Corpse responded. “Just uh...just realized I fucked up my idea a bit. No big deal, I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

The game started prompting for everyone to show what they had created. Taking the opportunity of not having to speak, Corpse went to Google (Y/N)’s YouTube channel. She had come into the game as a friend of Karl’s and Corpse hadn’t heard of her channel, but now somethings were starting to click together.

The first thing that popped up with the top Google Image for (Y/N)’s channel name. It was a beautiful girl laying in a garden of flowers with a wide smile on her face. Corpse sucked in a breath as he realized that the girl in the picture looked familiar.

“Corpse,” came Karl’s voice, snapping Corpse out of his trance. “It’s your turn.”

“Sorry,” Corpse said. “I was distracted.”

The rest of the stream Corpse felt like he was in a daze. He continued to play the games and forced out laughs when he realized someone was making a joke. Every time (Y/N) spoke, he felt his heart flutter with excitement. He couldn’t believe that after all these years he had finally been reunited with her. And what was better was that she had actually admitted to having feelings for him too!

Don’t get too excited, he thought to himself. She said she used to have a crush on you. That was a very long time ago.

He tried not to seem too eager when the stream finally ended. He waited for someone else to leave the call first before he exited out of it himself. He waited another few minutes before messaging (Y/N) directly on Discord.

hey. it was fun playing with you tonight. weird request, but can we voice call maybe? just the two of us?

Corpse didn’t expect her to respond any time soon. It was late in San Diego, like nearly 3am late. Most people were going to bed by now. She had mentioned once during the stream that she was starting to get sleepy. He figured she’d see it in the morning and either call, or just ignore the message.

To his surprise, near seconds later, she was calling him.

“Hey stranger,” she said when he answered. “Long time, no speak. You must’ve missed my voice a lot, huh?”

Corpse chuckled. “Exactly, I really did.”

“Makes sense. I do have the best voice on the internet.” She laughed this time. It sounded like such a perfect sound. “For real though, is everything alright? Why did you want to call?”

How did he even tell her? Hey, so you know that outcast you liked? It was me! Surprise!

No, he couldn’t say that. Maybe she wouldn’t even remember, or maybe she wouldn’t believe him. He had to figure out some way to bring it up.

“I kind of wanted to talk more about your popular school days,” he said, trying to keep his voice light and teasing. “It’s not every day I meet a streamer who’s in my own area code. It would be nice to get to know someone who isn’t like a five hour drive away.”

“Oh!” She seemed excited by this response. Her excitement was almost contagious. “Okay, where should I start? The shitty friends or the shallow popularity?”

Corpse chuckled. “You pick.”

She talked for nearly an hour about her high school experiences with her popular friend group. Despite how much she despised being popular, (Y/N) still spoke with a light tone in her voice. She tried to bypass a lot of the more negative details and speak only of the good experiences she went though, which was nice to hear.

Corpse nearly jumped with excitement when she began to talk about middle school unprompted.

“It really was the last good years I had in school,” she admitted. “All my friends, the ones who went on to be super popular with me, they were nice then. Annoying, but all middle schoolers are. We didn’t care about popularity or social rankings. We were just...we were just kids. We didn’t even really know the difference between ‘losers’ and ‘popular’, which was why it was so easy for me to talk to that guy that I liked at the time. My friends weren’t mocking me for having feelings for an outcast.”

“You said you never saw that guy again,” Corpse said. “Do you know what happened to him?”

She sighed heavily. “No, I don’t. He just stopped showing up before we hit high school. I thought he moved, but I knew his mom and I saw her around everywhere. I don’t even remember his name anymore to look him up. Wherever he is, though, I hope he’s doing better. Even if they weren’t sucked completely into their popularity at the time, my friends and the other kids were still awful to him.”

“I feel that,” he said. “I wasn’t exactly the most liked kid in school. Before I dropped out I didn’t even have any friends.”

“That’s awful.”

“It wasn’t too bad. I’m not really a friendly person I don’t think. I’ve worked on it since that time, but the thought of trying to maintain a social relationship still gives me anxiety from time to time. There was one girl who tried to be friends with me the year before I dropped out though. She was nice.”

“What happened to her?”

Corpse smiled to himself. She would figure it out soon, he knew she would.

“I just didn’t hear from her after I dropped out,” he responded. “I guess that’s mainly my fault. I never reached out to her or anything, but I barley knew her name. Just her first time, and she never gave me a number or anything. I couldn’t look her up online. Maybe we just weren’t destined to be together.”

“I don’t know about that. Maybe you two were just right people, wrong time. Maybe you’ll cross paths again and finally have that opportunity to be friends with her again.”

“Maybe you’ll cross paths with that guy from your middle school, too.”

There was a prolonged silence. Corpse wondered if (Y/N) was starting to put the pieces together. He could barley even hear her breathe. The longer she went, the more worried he was becoming. He was about to say something when she finally spoke again.

“I made him a Valentine,” she said, her voice soft. “Special handmade one. He was the only one I gave it to. It had some really badly written, sappy poem in it. I watched him open it and...I really think he got emotional while reading it. Of course, he’d never tell anyone that.”

Corpse had gotten emotional over the Valentine (Y/N) had given him. It was the first real Valentine he had ever gotten. It wasn’t one of the generic ones that everyone gave out to every classmate so no one felt excluded. It was made from the heart, and that fact alone touched his. Like (Y/N) said, though, he didn’t let anyone know how emotional he had gotten. It would’ve just been more mental ammo for them to use to bully him.

He quickly got up from his chair, racing to his room where he had his box of memories shoved in his closet. It was little things from throughout his life that he kept in a shoebox. Whenever he felt particularly down or depressed, he would open the shoebox and look at all the things that made him smile.

At the very top of the box was (Y/N)’s Valentine.

He went back to his computer and took a picture of the Valentine using his phone.

“That sounds really nice,” he said as he went into the Discord app on his voice. “It must’ve meant a lot to him that you put so much time and effort into a handmade gift.”

“I don’t know if it did. I never got to ask him what his reaction was.”

“Oh, I’d bet anything he was happy.”

He sent the picture through Discord and waited for (Y/N) to open it. The silence between them felt deafening. The seconds felt like they had slowed to hours. He wondered what (Y/N)’s reaction would be. Maybe she’d be weirded out by the fact that Corpse kept the Valentine, or by the fact that Corpse was the middle school crush in general.

What if she’s upset that this is who I am now? he asked himself. What if her crush was just a middle school thing, and the moment you dropped out she moved on?

“I knew it.”

Corpse couldn’t help the smile on his face when he heard the slight excitement in (Y/N)’s voice.

“I knew it was you!” she continued. “Well, I didn’t know know, but when you asked me to call you I had a bit of a suspicion. I can’t believe it...it’s actually you!”

“It is me,” he confirmed. “And it’s you.”

“Small world we live in, huh?”

“Yeah, small world.” Do you still like me? Did you ever stop? Do you know that your kindness stuck with me for so long?

The silence returned. Corpse was starting to get sick of it, but he didn’t know how to fill the void between them. When he heard her yawn, he realized how late it had gotten. “I’ll let you go, you sound tired.”

“We just had this breakthrough and you’re asking me to sleep?!”

Corpse chuckled. “You have to sleep eventually, (Y/N). It’s like 3:30am, normal people sleep at this hour.”

“I am offended you would think I’m anywhere near normal.” She yawned again, cutting off her short lived rant. “But you’re right, I am tired. Listen...promise me you’ll answer when I call tomorrow. I...I’d really like to catch up. Maybe...to pick up where we left off.”

“Okay,” Corpse said, then realized that wasn’t really a response. “I promise. I’ll be waiting by the phone the moment I open my peepers.”

(Y/N) giggled. “I’ll be sure to call you the moment I open mine.”

“Goodnight (Y/N). Sleep tight.”

“Goodnight Corpse underscore Husband.”

kind of a bad ending, but i wasn’t really sure where else to go with it as i wrote it. sorry! :(

[dameronology]

it's no use, i just do {bucky barnes}

'if i just wanted someone to hold, then really anyone would do/i'd close my eyes and really try not to turn them into you, but it's no use, i just love you' - no use i just do, hayley williams

(a.k.a: the one where bucky needs a hug, but specifically from you)

eugh more bucky stuff from my drafts? yes. i think so. truth be told, I started writing this like 3 months ago (whenever flowers for vases came out) but it's been sat collecting dust. enjoy :-)

- jazz xx

p.s this is spoiler free!

The nights were always hardest for Bucky Barnes.

The dark always reminded him of the furthest corners of his mind; the ones holding his worst memories, skeletons collecting dust, rotting away until he forgot about them completely or forced them out with intensive therapy. Both were options that he was completely dreading - so he forced them down, forced them to the back and did everything within his power to ignore. It was easy enough during the day, when he was surrounded by his friends, occupied by work and the buzz of New York City.

Then the sun went away, and with the rising of the moon came the echoes and ghosts of Winter Soldier's past. Thanks to the likes of Netflix and YouTube, the modern world was filled with enough things to distract Bucky from the grips of his own mind. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

And tonight was one of the nights where it didn't. Every time he shut his eyes - squeezed them shut and gripped onto his thin blankets like a flimsy anchor to the present - he got flashbacks. Reminders of the things he'd done and the people he'd hurt. They always had the same look in their eyes, whenever they flashed into his mind. He couldn't see it then, but now he could feel again, he knew it was fear. The same look he had in his eyes every time he was clamped into a chair and forced to have the last remaining ounce of his humanity wiped.

Bucky's hold-ups about his feelings for you seemed almost comical compared to the problems he dealt with then. But he could feel more now, which meant his brain was so hyperaware of every little thing he felt for you; love, attachment, fear. All things that were enough to send him into a spiral, even if the feeling of your arms around him and lips meshed against his was the first reminder of his humanity since nineteen-forty-fucking-five.

Distance had felt like the answer. Cutting you out completely and acting like he hadn't fallen into your bed every night for six months seeking comfort. It was kind of a dick move, but it was one you understood. Actually, no, it wasn't, because you didn't understand a single thing the man ever fucking did. That's probably why you'd let him go so easily - people came and went. Maybe he was just supposed to be the latter.

How was it going, you ask? Given that Bucky had elbowed his way into your apartment complex at 3AM and was pacing outside your front door - pretty fucking terribly. Normally, he wasn't that bad at resisting the urge to seek you out, but tonight had been hard. Too hard. His hands were still shaking, shirt still sticking to his back with sweat. The nightmares had been...visual, to say the least. He felt like a monster, and you were the only person he trusted enough to convince him otherwise.

"Hey, dumbass. I have a Ring doorbell - what the fuck are you doing out there?"

Bucky jumped at the sound of your voice. Technology: 1. Barnes: 0.

The front door swung open, revealing a tired-looking you. Your hair was pushed back off your face, large nightshirt swamping your body. He knew you got mad when your beauty sleep was interrupted, but you got even madder when he suffered in silence.

"I..." Bucky trailed off.

"Nightmares. I know." You stepped aside. "Come in."

You didn't push any further, or berate him for his radio silence over the last few weeks. He was grateful for that. You were the only person who didn't ask so many questions all the time. Bucky didn't mind talking, but recounting his entire life story to Sam Wilson whilst they drove to Walmart wasn't his idea of fun.

Your apartment still felt homier than his. The walls were covered in photos of you and your friends and family, and shitty little drawings done by your various, younger relatives. Your fridge had postcards and letters hung on it, and there was clutter all over the kitchen counter. The thousands of pillows piled high on your sofa were practically a safe haven. There was a soft scent of vanilla hanging in the air from all your little diffusers, making him smile slightly.

"You got new curtains?" Bucky helplessly pointed to your window.

"How very observant of you." You placed a hand on his arm as you brushed past him. "What's going on, Buck?"

"With my life, or just tonight?"

"I don't think we have time for the first one." You fell onto the sofa. "Sit."

He took a seat beside you; not on you, but close enough so that your knees were touching. "Every time I close my eyes, I remember."

"That wasn't you." You gently reminded him, reaching out to push his hair back. "Not then and not now."

"I still did it though." He held his hands out in front of him. "These are the hands that killed innocent people. This is the brain that felt no empathy or remorse."

"No." You firmly said. "Those are the hands that fought in Wakanda, for the good fight. This is the brain that comes up with the worst jokes I've ever heard and regularly forgets to buy toilet roll."

His blue eyes wavered from the floor, capturing your gaze. He suddenly fell back against you, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his head in your chest. Everybody else went out their way to make him seem like a monster or a saint - but you? You just made him seem like a human. There wasn't a single perfect one of those. Steve Rogers probably came close, but he was a fucking terrible driver.

"I..." Bucky trailed off. He knew what he wanted to say. Just didn't have the courage to verbalise it. "I appreciate you."

"I know." You murmured, carding a hand through his hair.

Bucky had gone to therapy. He'd taken up exercise (and boxercise and jazzercise) and yoga. He'd tried those stupid fucking cleansing smoothies that his neighbour had sold him - at the time, he had yet been introduced to the idea of multilevel marketing schemes - and gone to meditation classes. None of it worked. Not for a single second.

Then you came in the picture, and he began to see colour etched into the edges of an otherwise black and white world. Where there had been nightmares and flashbacks, he'd found a peaceful night's sleep and pleasant dreams (normally of you, truth be told). The simplicity of it was what made it so complex - because he didn't understand it. Couldn't get his head around the fact that you actually, genuinely wanted to help him.

And he knew it wasn't just your touch or the softness of your skin against his. He'd tried it - sleeping with strangers and staying around the morning after to cuddle. Anything to find human contact with the emotion and the commitment; the very two components that were the secret ingredients to the two of you working so fucking nicely.

"Thank you." Bucky murmured.

"For what?"

"For just..." He glanced up at you, blue eyes holding an emotion you couldn't quite place, "treating me like everyone else. Like a normal person."

"You are a normal person." You softly smiled. "Maybe with a little more baggage, but to the right person, that won't matter."

"Does it matter to you?"

"That's a trap." You thinned your eyes at him. "But no, it doesn't."

He tightened his grip on you, the fear and anxiety draining from his soul. He knew now more than ever that the comfort didn't come from the way he was being held, or the way he was being spoken to. It was who was holding him, and who was speaking to him. You came out on top, every time.

That was why it worked.

It was you. And there was nothing he could do about it.

[tricksters-captain]

Benny Watts/The Queens Gambit imagines - From Pawn to Pen Part 4

AN: I’m sorry I missed posting last week. I’m currently going through a hard break up and it’s really taking a lot of energy out of me so I struggle to write at the moment. 

Overall Summary: You’re a young journalist for Chess Review, with a love for chess and a desire for knowledge. One day at a tournament, you come across the famous Benny Watts...

In this chapter: You return to Boston for the week. 

(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3)

Pairing(s): Benny Watts x Fem!reader

Word Count: 1,940

Warnings: Some strong language

You smiled as you looked at the copies of ‘Chess Review’ on the racks. 

Your first front page piece for Chess Review. 

They had used one of the pictures of Benny that you had taken at the hotel and you were pretty proud of your photography skills. 

You picked up a copy and took it inside to pay for it. 

On second thought, you picked up two so you could mail one to Angelie. 

You left the store quickly after and started to walk back to your apartment. 

Boston was busier than you had remembered and you finally had some time to sort out the apartment after your article went down well with the big man. 

You opened the door to your apartment and put down your groceries on the kitchen counter top. 

The last tenant hadn’t left the place in too bad a state, just a carpet stain here and there and a broken lamp. 

You had bought some paint to redecorate your living room and bedroom since it seemed too boring after where you lived in Paris. You had spent the last couple days painting and then you finally left to go check out your title page. 

The books that Benny had given you were still on your small two person dining room table where you had left them when you first got back. You looked over at them and furrowed your brow as you thought about whether you are actually going to bother to read them or not. 

Your phone started to ring and your frown disappeared when you realised it was probably Angelie. No one else had your number besides your work. 

“Hello?” You answered it, taking the phone off the wall as you leant beside it. 

“Miss (Y/L/N)?” You’d recognise that voice anywhere after listening to it so much over the last tournament. 

“Benny Watts?” You asked, almost in shock. 

“Have you read those books I leant you yet?” He asked, not even bothering to confirm it was him. 

“It’s been four days.” You told him flatly. 

“You could’ve easily gotten through at least two of them by now.” Benny challenged you which caused you to shake your head (even though he couldn’t see). 

“You know, Benny Watts, I do have a life to live.” You defended yourself to which Benny found amusing. 

“So, you’re back in Boston since you picked up this phone.” Benny changed the subject completely. 

“How did you even get this number?” You asked, genuinely curious and a little worried. 

“You really think Chess Review won’t hand over your telephone number to their favourite US chess player?” 

“You got it from Beth Harmon then?”  You teased the boy to which he responded with a dry laughter. 

“Ha Ha. Very funny.” Benny retorted, “If you’re in Boston, it means you currently aren’t working. Fancy an educational trip to New York City?” 

“Benny, I told you. I’m not coming to New York.” You reminded him about how you declined previously when he asked. 

“Come on, just for the weekend? We’ll play some chess, do some tourist shit and eat some food?” Benny asked, trying his best to persuade you Benny Watts style. 

“I’ve also told you before that I don’t play.” You felt a small bubble of excitement in your stomach as you considered going to New York but you quickly squashed it down. 

“What are you afraid of?” Benny asked. Deja Vu. 

“Why are you pushing this?” You closed your eyes as you let your head roll back to press against the wall. 

“Because I see that same light that’s in Beth Harmon, that’s in every decent chess player when you see a chess board.” Benny confessed to you. 

“I’m sorry, Benny. You’ll just have to find someone else to play with. I don’t want to be apart of this little game.” You hung up the phone with a sad sigh before Benny could respond. 

You found yourself looking at the books again. 

You picked up Benny’s and you opened it...

“I’ve been waiting all day for your call.” You half scolded Angelie as you answered the call. 

You heard Angelie’s laughter through the phone and it made you home sick. 

“Je suis désolé!” Angie apologised. “This new project has me so busy, constantly on set, costume changes, make up changes, redoing scene..!” 

“It sounds awful.”  You chuckled, 

“It is! You wouldn’t understand... You’re just a big time American journalist.” Angelie pouted. “Anyway, how are you?” 

“I’m okay.” You lied. 

“Menteuse!” Angelie called you out. “Tell me the truth. What is bothering you, Mon Cher?” 

“Benny Watts called me today.” You had filled her in on the tournament with him once you had first arrived back in Boston and she had already previously told you off for not taking his offer to New York. 

“He did?!” Angie gasped. 

“Yes, he did. He got my number through work and called me to ask if I had read the books he gave me which I haven’t because it’s been less than a week since. the tournament.” You explained. 

“That boy is in love with you, I am telling you now.” Angie was always the hopeless romantic type. It’s how she has had her heart broke so many times. 

“The boy wants to play chess with me to assert his masculine dominance over me and boost his ego with an easy win.” You argued. 

“You are always so negative about men! You hardly know this one!” Angelie groaned. 

“He’s Benny Watts. That’s all I need to know.” 

“I think you should go to New York and meet with him.” Angelie told you. You hadn’t even informed her about the fact he asked you again. 

“I think I should stay here and enjoy my first weekend off in six months.” You shook your head at the idea. 

“(Y/n), you only live once and how many girls are invited to New York by the Benny Watts?!” 

“Probably quite a lot.” You knew Angie was only trying to hype you up but you couldn’t help but knock her down. 

“Even if that is so. You could probably get another article out of it. Benny Watts and his life in the big apple?” Angie suggested. 

“I’m sure ‘LIFE’ has already done that piece before.” You pushed another idea aside. 

“Trust me, (Y/n). You need to stop being so afraid of the unknown and who knows, maybe you’ll enjoy yourself?” Angelie had had enough of the negativity from you at this point. 

There was a sudden knock at your door. 

“I’m sorry, Angie. Someone’s just knocked on my door, I’ll have to call you back.” You looked over at your front door and wondered who it could be. 

“Ça va. Call me back!” She told you as the knock occurred again. 

“Je t'aime.” You hung the phone back up on the wall and went over to your door. 

You opened it and you felt your face go white at the sight of who stood there. 

“Jesus, you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” Benny Watts. 

BENNY WATTS.

“What the hell are you doing here?” You asked him. 

“Well,  you wouldn’t come to me so I came to you.” Benny shrugged. 

“You can’t just stalk someone. This isn’t okay. This isn’t cute!” You were bewildered. 

“This isn’t stalking. It’s simply coming to Boston to visit a friend.” He defended himself as he stood out in the hallway. 

“I wouldn’t call us friends, Benny.” You scoffed. 

“Ouch.” Benny put his hand on his heart. 

You went to close your door on him but Benny stopped you. 

“Wait.” He pleaded. His cocky demeanour suddenly dropped. “Look, I know this is weird but I really wanted to see you.” Benny started to explain. 

“I––” He cut you short. 

“–– This isn’t some game. I just want to help you. I want you to play chess again. I want you to play with me.” Benny stayed with his hand against the door and his foot in the gap as he spoke. 

“This is crazy, Benny.” You told him, your eyes locked on his as you felt your heart race. 

“I know.” Benny stepped back. “I’m staying in the hotel down the block. I’ll be here all weekend. If you don’t want to see me, then don’t. But if you change your mind. I’ll be around.” 

You watched him back away from the door and head back down the stairs. 

Benny fucking Watts. 

You rushed back to the phone and dialled Angelie’s number. 

“Bonjour?” She answered, 

“You’ll never guess who was at the door.” 

You ended up tossing and turning all night. 

You caved in at around 3am and started to read Benny’s book again. 

You finished it by the time the sun was rising. 

You had a cold shower to wake you up at around 9am and then you stared in the mirror as the thoughts racked your brain. 

You walked over to your chess set that rested on the dresser top and you took it over to your bed, opening it up. 

You set up the board and stared at it.  

You picked up the queen. The same queen that Benny had held in the photo you took. 

You caved. 

You dressed and did simple make up before heading to the hotel that Benny had told you he was staying. 

“I’m looking for Mr Benny Watts.” You asked the elderly lady at the front desk. 

“He’s staying in room 306 but I’m almost certain I saw him leave about an hour ago for breakfast.” She informed you. 

You thanked her then sighed. 

You left the hotel lobby and started down the street. There was plenty of places to eat around the hotel, you almost considered just waiting in the lobby for him to return. 

Then you saw it. 

Through a window of a small diner. 

The famous black hat. 

You pushed open the diner door and walked towards the booth where Benny was sat. 

He had his back to you but he didn’t seem surprised to see you when you sat down opposite him.  

“Morning.” He greeted you as he munched on some pancakes. 

“I won’t play chess with you.” You stated. “I won’t play chess with you but I will spend the weekend with you and you can talk about it.”

Benny remained silent as his brown eyes watched you carefully. 

“I finished your book.” You told him. “I'm ready to learn.” 

Benny placed his knife and fork down, picking up the napkin beside his plate to wipe his mouth. 

“Great.” He nodded, interlinking his fingers above his food as he elbows rested on the table.  “Let’s begin.” 

(WHAT HAPPENS NEXT HERE)

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[let-them-read-fics]

What Could've Been

Requested By Anon: "pls do a rosé or jennie imagine where the reader is into them but they just keep rejecting her. then they just cross the line one day and say hurtful things to y/n so the reader just ended up stopped pursuing them. then someone else (could be the other rosé or jennie also of yk what i mean) became interested in y/n and they get all petty and jealous yk djajdua,, COULD BE ANY ENDING HFHSHAU I'M JUST A REAL SUCKER FOR IMAGINES LIKE THIS TYSM"

Pairing: Love Triangle -- Jennie x Fem!Reader and Rosé x Fem!Reader

Word Count: ~ 7,333

Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Pining, Rejection, Crying, Fluff

Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.

A/N: ⚠️ Important ⚠️ Class, gather round -- we have some things to discuss. I'm not angry, just... disappointed. *dramatic music*

First off, I want to address something with asks: as I've stated before, there's no certain amount of time that any one request will take me. Sometimes I'm more inspired by one than others, and sometimes I legitimately lack the time or brainpower to write a piece that holds true to my standards.

Please, refrain from messaging me multiple times about a request. Once is fine, especially if it's been awhile since you first asked, but I'm doing my best to give you starving fans the content you wish to see, and that takes time.

To those of you who continue to be patient with me: I sincerely appreciate it.

Secondly, I hope you enjoy this. ♡ Happy Reading ♡

PS ~ Anon, I still love you. Now enjoy this fic or you're grounded.

PPS ~ It gets better as it goes on

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

"Thank you," you politely say to your driver, handing him some money before stepping out of the sleek black car and onto the sidewalk. The bottoms of your shoes crunch lightly as they come in contact with the concrete, steadily announcing your course towards the performance hall. 

You let out a breath as you stand in the elevator, alone with your thoughts in the small space as it ascends. 

Your hands nervously palm the fresh bouquets of flowers you purchased on your way here -- the girls just finished a comeback stage, so you've decided to surprise them and show your love. You spent time picking out a personalized batch for each of them, making sure to mix their favorite colors and types, but you went even further for Rosé: you hand picked a larger, special array, choosing them based on their meaning and how much you think she'll appreciate them. Over the years, you've made sure to note her favorite ones; that came in handy tonight, and the florist assisting you definitely appreciated your attention to detail. 

Too chicken to go to her first, you decide to bring the other girls their gifts now and save Rosie for last. All of them are unwinding independently in their dressing rooms right now, enjoying some much needed alone time before coming back together later to celebrate. 

"Jisoo-yah!" You sing-song, rapping lightly on the door. It's slightly ajar, but you still knock out of respect for her privacy. 

In an instant, the door swings open to reveal a very happy unnie. "Y/N! I've missed you!" She nearly shouts, pulling you in for an eager hug. A surprised noise leaves her lips as her hands come in contact with the bundle behind your back, crinkling the plastic slightly in her excited state. 

"I got you a present," you say, smiling softly. Jisoo can feel the way your cheeks raise up, brushing against the skin of her neck as your head rests there, and her heart melts. After pulling out of the embrace, she wiggles her eyebrows at you.

"Well? Let me see!" You do as she asks with a chuckle, pulling her bunch out of the hold of the rubber band that's keeping them all together. "I got your favorite." You grin, sticking them out for her to see. Her eyes widen at the sight, and she's touched by the kind gesture. Flowers aren't particularly unique in terms of what companies and fans send them, but seeing the effort you put in makes it incredibly special. She couldn't be happier. 

"Y/N, you're the best." She presses a small kiss to your cheek as a thank you, and invites you in right after. Jisoo considers you to be one of the closest friends she has, so being apart hasn't been easy on her. You're the only person she's okay with venting and crying in front of, and she's been needing that lately. Sensing this, you pull a chair up to her vanity and let her fill you in on all the mayhem you missed out on during your time away, holding her hand for reassurance. When she gets a little frustrated, you rub her back gently, telling her to take her time. 

Jisoo is beyond thankful for you, and that becomes more and more apparent the closer you two get. Times like these hold a special place in her heart and remind her of why she loves you so much. You truly are a great friend to have, and there's no one she'd rather have in her corner. 

----

"Incoming! 3...2...1…" You call out, standing in front of Lisa's door, ready to knock it down and barge in. The greeting is an inside joke between the two of you, though neither of you know where its origins lie. 

"Yah! Hold on!" She shouts, nearly tripping and falling from how quick she rushes to the door. You laugh at the sounds of chaos coming from inside, wincing slightly when a thud rings out. Hair slightly disheveled, she opens the door with a huff. "This had better be good, because I almost died." 

Wordlessly, you reveal her present and smirk as the halfhearted scowl on her face disappears completely, giving way to a dopey grin. "You remembered?" She asks quietly, running her fingers over the petals of her all-time favorite flower. The fact that she sounds so shocked makes you sad -- not many people take enough time to notice the little things. They'd rather focus on profiting off of the girls' talents than actually caring enough to get to know them. 

"Of course I did, Lisa. You're one of my best friends; how could I forget?" The maknae pulls you in for a meaningful hug, allowing the gesture to tell you all the things she doesn't know how to express. She's not always the best with her words, but she makes up for it with her actions. 

"I really love you, dork. You know that?" She asks as she pulls away, ruffling your hair lightly. She cracks that smile that seems to make the world stop, and you just shake your head. 

"You'd better. Your flowers were the most expensive!" You tease, dodging her when she reaches out to grab you for that one. 

"Get back here!" She shouts, chasing you down the hall like a 5 year old, planning to get her revenge. 

---

"Jendeukie, open up!" You squeal, pounding on her door while throwing a look over your shoulder. Lisa is dangerously close, ready to tackle you as she continues charging down the hall. 

"Y/N?!" She exclaims from the other side of the door, clearly not expecting you to be here. 

"Hurry!" You can hear footsteps eagerly rushing towards the door, and just as she opens it, disaster strikes. 

Lisa's arms wrap around your waist, pushing you forward and right into Jennie. The three of you fall into her dressing room in a messy heap, limbs splayed in various positions as you yell together on the way down. You manage to keep the flowers out of harm's way, thankfully, and your arm remains stuck out just in case Lisa tries anything else. 

"Hello to you, too, Y/N." Jennie groans with a chuckle, the words coming out a little strained from all the weight on her. Lisa stands first, pulling you up right after, and you turn to help your best friend up as well. 

"I sure know how to make an entrance, huh?" Your lopsided grin makes Jennie weak in the knees, much like it has ever since she met you all those years ago, and she has to fight to contain the blush that rises to her cheeks. After bantering with Lisa for a few more moments you eventually push her out of the room, shoo-ing her back to her own in order to give yourself some one-on-one time with Jennie. 

You stick your tongue out at the maknae one final time before shutting the door and turning around, finding a very soft looking Jennie peering back at you. Her cheeks are pulled back in her signature gummy smile, and the fluffy sleeves of her Chanel sweater engulf her small hands as she cradles her face in them. 

Perhaps, if circumstances were different, you'd be hopelessly pining for this 5'4" angel instead of Rosé. Love knows no logic, though, and you're stuck chasing after a certain Australian beauty that never seems capable of giving you the time of day.

"I missed you," she pouts, pursing her lips adorably as she steps forward to wrap her arms around your shoulders. You pull her in and pick her up with a spin, smiling into her neck when she giggles in your ear. 

"Well, I'm here now. And luckily for you…." you start, allowing for some anticipation to build, "I come bearing gifts. Well, a gift. Singular." Jennie chuckles at your rambling -- it's one of the traits she finds most endearing about you, and she always hates it when people cut you down for it. It's adorable in every way. 

"Oh?" She asks, intrigued as she raises an eyebrow -- she's keeping the act up for you, of course, too fond of the cute smile on your face to tell you that she already knows what it is. You hand over the flowers with a little jig, too excited by how happy she looks to contain yourself. 

"They're beautiful, Y/N." She stops herself from adding a, "just like you," to the end of the phrase, wishing she was able to say things like that. You deserve to be reminded of how special you are everyday, and she knows her bandmate fails to do so. 

"So, what've you been up to?" You amble over to the couch that's tucked away in the corner of her dressing room, plopping down onto the cushions with a small bounce. Rosé's flowers lay beside you, and Jennie eyes them. 

"Same old, same old," she says, finally looking back at you with a tiny grin. "Practice for the comeback has kept us really busy lately, and somebody hasn't been there to tell us jokes at 3AM and keep us going." She playfully rolls her eyes, pretending to be annoyed. 

"My most sincere apologies," you hold a hand over your heart in mock regret, bowing your head with closed eyes. "On the bright side, though, I'm back in town for next month or two. I finished the business deals we had to handle abroad, so now I'm all yours." 

She knows you didn't mean hers, but that doesn't stop her from pretending. 

A happy noise of approval slips past her lips, and she claps excitedly. The sight reminds you of some of the childhood videos she's shown you, the two looking eerily similar to one another. No matter what may happen in her life, Jennie will most certainly remain that innocent young girl at heart, getting scared by everything that moves and loving with her all. She's an amazing person to know, and part of you feels sorry for everyone who'll never get the privilege of knowing her personally -- after all, everyone deserves a Jennie Kim in their lives. 

"Are you celebrating with us later?" She asks from in front of her mirror, now brushing her hair to busy herself. She runs the risk of making her feelings too obvious if she doesn't keep herself occupied. 

"I was planning to, yes. But that might depend on Rosé." You inform with a nervous chuckle, an anxious smile playing on your lips. When you look up and find her brows furrowed, you elaborate. 

"I'm gonna try to ask her out today when I bring her these flowers." You lightly chew your bottom lip out of habit, rubbing your hands together. The mere thought of such a task is daunting, especially with your not-so-perfect track record when it comes to her. You still try to cling to what little hope you have squirreled away in your heart, wishing with all your power that your sweet present will convince Rosé to at least give you a chance. 

Distracted by your thoughts, you don't notice the way that Jennie's face falls. Her heart is breaking in silence, splintering into pieces far too small to put back together. She knew this day would come eventually, given that you're a determined person and head over heels for Rosé, but that doesn't mean she was prepared to find out like this. The lovesick glimmer in your eye hurts Jennie even more, knowing that you're probably imagining what it would be like for her to say yes to you. This whole time, Rosé has been stringing you along -- giving you just enough hope to keep coming back to her, using your devoted acts of kindness selfishly -- and Jennie would do anything to make you see that. You don't deserve what she puts you through. 

"...Earth to Jennie!"

The brunette snaps back to reality and clears her throat, attempting to gather her thoughts again. 

"Sorry, just got lost there for a second." She says, looking back into your eyes after a moment. A curious look plays in them, and she can practically see you debating on whether or not to question her further. She lets out a quiet sigh of relief when you accept her answer, choosing instead to smile at her. 

"It's alright. But what's not alright, is that I've been sitting here for 5 minutes and you haven't come over to cuddle me. I mean seriously, a girl's gone for forever and her best friend doesn't bombard her with love?" You shake your head with an amused smile, throwing your hands in the air. 

Oh, the things she would do to change that title. 

Successfully suppressing the pang of longing that runs through her, Jennie quips back, "A month and a half is hardly forever, Y/N." 

"It felt like it, though. I missed seeing you." 

She finds you pouting, your arms folded across your chest like a toddler, and her heart melts. Any amount of time without you is too long for Jennie's liking, and she's happy to know you missed her as well. 

"Fine, I guess I can spare some cuddles." She pretends to be put out as she approaches you, really playing the part by huffing and looking uninterested. Inside, though, she's celebrating. She can't wait to hold you close again, even if it may lead to her hurting herself with the what-ifs and scenarios that play in her mind. 

"Yay!" You shout, pulling her into your lap before laying your head on her shoulder. Her heart beats rapidly at the proximity, and she prays to every higher power in existence that you don't notice it. 

She relaxes after a moment, releasing the tension from her muscles as she sinks into your embrace. It's warm and comforting, and she never wants you to let go. Her head rests on top of yours, and she's content just running her hands through your hair, feeling your calm breaths against her skin. 

She's so in love it hurts. 

-----

This'll convince her, you whisper to yourself, attempting to sound confident -- key word: attempting. If there's one thing you know about Rosé, it's that she loves to be difficult with you. You caught feelings for her years ago when you were first introduced to each other at a company event, and ever since then you've done nice things for her nonstop, hoping that she'd fall for you with time. The longer you wait, though, the more discouraged you get. Regardless, those times that she appreciates your efforts make up for all the rest, and you'd gladly take 100 instances of the "bad" in order to have even just one of the "good". 

After taking a deep breath, you knock on the door a couple times.

A sigh can be heard, sounding like a complete 180 from the reactions of the other girls. The subsequent footsteps are heavy -- like she's dragging her feet, not even wanting to get up in the first place -- and they work to dishearten you a bit. Nevertheless, you imagine how happy she'll be when she sees the surprise, and a small smile makes its ways onto your lips. All you want to do is brighten her day, if only for a moment. 

An indifferent expression rests on her face when she first opens the door, likely expecting someone else to be standing in your place. Not much changes when she realizes it's you, though a sliver of a smile does quirk up at the corner of her lips. 

"Hiya Rosie," you greet sweetly, unable to contain how wide your smile grows at seeing her again. She makes you feel like a giddy school girl, and you can't decide if you love it or hate it. 

"What's up?" She asks, more out of common courtesy than anything else. Her body leans against the doorframe, her left arm resting behind the door. She didn't throw it open or invite you in like the other girls, so that tells you that she probably doesn't want visitors. 

When you take too long to answer, she asks dryly, "Are you just gonna stare at me?" Her voice is laced with a slight undertone of annoyance -- one that makes you shrink down a bit. You can practically hear how exhausted she is, and part of you feels bad for disturbing her with your presence. 

"N-no, sorry." You curse yourself for looking like a fool. "I got you something that I think you'll enjoy." Her eyebrows raise slightly and you can tell she's intrigued, even if she may try to deny it. 

"Here." You declare, nervously fixing the plastic as you hold the bundle in front of you. You want it to look perfect for her. 

"I, uh, hand picked it." 

"Thank you, it's lovely." She says politely, taking them from you and bringing them up to her nose. She admires the gentle, pleasant scent of them, and smiles appreciatively at you.

You blush under her gaze, slightly tripping over your words as you respond, "Of course, I'm glad you like it." 

Now, the part you dread: when the conversation dwindles down, threatening to end entirely unless you step up to keep it going. 

"Well, how've you been?" You cringe at the overused question, but you're willing to employ it in order to hear her sweet voice for a little longer. 

"Look, Y/N, I really appreciate the gift and all, and I'm really happy to see you again, but I don't feel like talking right now. I just want to enjoy myself for a little bit." Her denial makes you scrunch your face up, embarrassed beyond belief as her words sink in. You should've known that flowers wouldn't suffice. Perhaps that last line stung the most -- you try not to read too far into it, but the idea that she doesn't enjoy herself when talking to you nags at your heart. 

"Yeah, yeah. For sure." You scratch the back of your neck, awkwardly taking a step away from her door and back into the hallway. 

"I'll see you at the get together later though, right?" You ask, kicking yourself when you realize how hopeful you sounded. You have to get better at hiding it. 

"Sure," she nods, sending you a smile and little wave before saying goodbye and shutting the door. 

Well, that was a bust. Damn. Back to the drawing board, it is -- though your ego will need a few hours to recover. 

---

"Lisa, I swear to god, if you come near me with that I'll punt you across this room." 

Your very serious, totally-not-exaggerated warning evidently worked against you, because the maknae soon raises her head to look at you, grinning like a maniac. Frosting from the cake she just messily cut into covers her hands, looking threatening as she wiggles them at you. 

"I mean in!" You shout as a last resort, slowly backing away. You accidently bump into Jennie in the process, but you fail to realize that it was part of the plan all along: she and Lisa are in cahoots. When the maknae lunges, swiftly striding across the room towards you, you attempt to move out of her path and get somewhere safer. Steady hands on your waist keep you anchored in place, though, and you try to fight them. 

"Jennie?! Let me go, she's right there!" You squeal, trying to pry her fingers off of your hips one by one. She merely laughs, whispering a sorry into your ear right before Lisa's hands run across your cheeks and neck. You squirm, leaning further back against Jennie to evade the younger girl as she does her worst. 

Now, practically having a face mask of frosting, you step away from the girls and glare at them. 

"Bullies, I tell you." You say to Jisoo, groaning when she busts out laughing. It doesn't take a genius to know that you look a mess, and you'd probably laugh at yourself if the roles were reversed. The others soon join in, and a chorus of belly laughs fill the air around you. 

"Go ahead, laugh it up," you tell the girls, nodding your head, "Just wait til I get my revenge. I'm coming for you, Manoban." You point a finger at her as you exit the room, grinning when you hear the oooo's that they let out at your threat, and you make your way to the bathroom at the end of the long hallway before you.

On your way back, you hear Rosé's voice filtering in from one of the lounge rooms that branch off of the main corridor. Intrigued, you stop walking and listen in. 

Big mistake. 

Your ears perk up when you hear your name roll off her tongue, though her subsequent sentences crush your spirits. 

"...I know, right? She's honestly so annoying. Like earlier, I was finally getting cozy after our performance and then she just showed up."

Too shocked to leave now, you stay where you are and try not to let her words hurt you too much. She listens to the person on the other end of the line, laughing at something they said. That sound -- one you’ve grown to love more than anything else in the world -- is turning into something you hate. It feels like she's laughing at you; which, in hindsight, she probably is. 

"Exactly! She had flowers for me, as if I don't get those almost everyday already, and I guess she really thought that that would win me over. It was sweet but, c'mon, you know?"

Every insecurity you have is nagging at you, and you can't stop the few tears that roll down your cheeks at her brutal honesty. She's really hurting your feelings, and you can't help but want to call her out for it. So, you do just that: you step into the open room, one that lacks an actual door, and say, "Next time you wanna talk shit about someone, maybe you should make sure they're not around to hear it." 

Her smile falters slightly, and she spins around to face you. A hint of guilt plays on her features, but you're sure it's only because she got caught -- she definitely meant everything she said. 

"Y/N--"

You don't stick around to listen to what she has to say. Her change of behavior surprised you, and you can't trust that she's even sorry for it. 

Your pace quickens as you hear her voice become clearer -- she's in the doorway now, calling after you, but you don't even turn around. The salt of your tears greets your tongue, and you're once again reminded to wipe your face as you rush down the hall, rounding a couple corners and darting past countless doors on your way. You just want to get out of this place and be alone. 

A new voice slows your strides as it greets your ears, feeling like a security blanket in its gentleness. It's Jennie. "Y/N? Why are you crying?" She came to look for you when you took too long to return from the bathroom. 

You're far too embarrassed to look at her, so you simply sniffle and raise a hand up in her direction. "Don't worry about me, Jen. It's not important." 

"Hey, yes it is. You're upset and that matters." She steps towards you, saying the words that you had no idea you needed to hear so badly. Your heart aches, still shocked by the fact that Rosé would say such things about you. You thought you were friends, if nothing else, and yet that's never felt further from the truth than it does right now. 

When you don't move away, Jennie takes that as a sign to bring you into her arms, cradling your head against her chest. The kind act hurts your heart more for some reason, and you want to pull away. Jennie senses this and decides to rub soothing circles on your back, her warm embrace comforting you as she says, "I don't know what happened, Y/N, but I'm right here. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, either, but please don't leave like this. I hate to see you upset." 

Something about the way she's holding you, so close and tenderly, is comforting beyond belief and you can't find the desire to leave anymore. 

"Can we at least go to your dressing room? I don't want everyone to see me like this."

"Of course, sweetheart. Come on." 

Sweet phrases of reassurance are whispered to you as she leads you away, keeping you safe from prying eyes the entire time. Jisoo appears in the doorway of the party room, raising a concerned brow when she sees the two of you approaching. Jennie shakes her head at the unnie before she can utter a word, giving her a silent answer as she uses her eyes to communicate what's happening. Jisoo eventually understands, and she offers a sympathetic nod when you pass by.  

-------

7 Months Later

"Hey Jennie, do you think you can go answer the door? I'd do it myself, but…" Jisoo trails off, glancing down at the bowl of partially mixed dough that sits in front of her on the counter. Her hands continue to knead the mixture as she looks up at the younger girl, subtly sighing in relief when she agrees. 

There's more than one reason behind having Jennie be the one to answer it. 

The brunette grabs a pen as she pads her way over to the door, ready to sign for a delivery package -- that's usually the only thing they get at the dorm, considering guests are discouraged for the most part. Screw YG and their rules. 

Being a bit clumsy, Jennie accidently knocks her phone out of her own hand as she opens the door, muttering out a quiet “shit” as she bends down to retrieve it. Her eyes trail over to the stylish boots that set just a few feet away, and her breath hitches. 

"Hi baby." You greet with that healing smile that she's missed so much, peering down at her with a look in your eye that makes her heart trip and stumble over itself. 

"Y/N!" She shrieks, jumping up from the ground and right into your arms. 

"Uumph--" you let out in surprise, making sure to catch her and prevent her from falling. Ever since you two began dating a few months ago, leaving has become harder and harder. Jennie is beyond thrilled to have you back again, and she tries not to think about the next business trip you'll have to take. It's a methodical rhythm -- a month or two abroad and the same amount back home, then you're left to repeat the cycle over and over. Both of you hate it, and you'd much rather spend all your time with her instead. After all, ever since the incident with Rosé all that time ago, Jennie has steadily worked her way into your heart and become someone you can't live without. You were close before, but you've reached a new level now -- and that's about the only thing you can thank Rosé for. By hurting you and showing you how little she cared, she effectively pushed you right into Jennie's waiting arms.

"I'm so happy you're home." She says with a sigh, truly grateful to have you in her arms again. You wrap your arms tighter around her waist and sway a little bit, both of you content with just holding each other for a while longer. The weather outside is dazzlingly perfect; signs of summer apparent in everything around you. Birds chirp their looping songs as they fly through the air, feeling the sun's gentle heat on their wings all the while. 

You move your head enough to be level with hers, bringing her in for a long-overdue kiss. She smiles into it, cupping your cheek with one of her hands as she languidly moves to deepen it. 

Rosé should've stayed in her room. She should've ignored her stomach's incessant grumbling for a snack; but she didn't. 

She gave in, and now she's stuck, rooted in place as she watches Jennie kiss you, the one that got away. It's like watching a train wreck: she can't look away, and part of her psyche knows she deserves this. The apple in her hands is the only thing working to distract her, and she grips it tightly within her clutch to comfort herself. You look good -- so good -- and Rosé doesn't know whether to be happy or not. She knows she didn't treat you right -- then or ever -- but for some selfish reason that she doesn't dare give voice to, she wants you to still be hurting. She wants you to be suffering like she is now, crying into your pillowcase at night when she crosses your mind. She wants you to miss the good times, though there may not have been enough of them, and she wants you to want her again. 

You've turned the tables on her, and she doesn't know how to cope. 

She realized what she had once it was gone -- once you were gone, too busy falling in love with Jennie to pay her any mind anymore. She misses how devoted you were to her and how much care you put into everything you did; she misses the consistency that you offered; she misses every sweet thing you ever did for her. Hell, she even misses hearing you ramble and seeing you blush when all she did was smile at you. 

But you're gone now, destined to be with her member when all she wants is another chance. She'll never get it, certainly not after everything she's put you through, and she resents herself for treating you so badly. All you ever did was care, and she was too self-centered to give a crap. 

She deserves this. She deserves to see you happy with Jennie, happy in a way she could never make you. For you, she deserves to hurt; to silently cry in her room when she hears the two of you on call, laughing about whatever new thing you experienced that day. Because it wasn't just the one instance of pain she inflicted on you; it wasn't just that one night at the performance hall -- it was a steady build up of rejection and half-assed excuses, and even she can't blame you for getting tired of it. She wishes she hadn't been so stupid to deny you. 

What's worse is that she's actually fallen for you now; she imagines what could've been, what would've been, had she given you an honest chance. She's never tried to deny how gorgeous you are -- that's a given -- but now you're bruisingly beautiful, shining with the happiness that Jennie's worked hard to instill in you again. Shining with the love you hold for that 5'4" angel. 

Maybe, if circumstances were different, you'd be in Rosé's arms right now. Perhaps in another life. 

---

"Do you want to come in? Jisoo's working on some dessert for the lunch we just made. We can heat you up a plate in the meantime…" Jennie trails off, hoping to persuade you. She knows it's risky, considering the tension that feels almost tangible anytime the three of you are together, but she doesn't want to let you go so soon. 

"I don't know…" The uncertainty in your voice is clear, and Jennie watches as a slight grimace crosses your features when you look past her and into the dorm. Luckily Rosé had already found the will power to move to the dining room, so you're spared from seeing her just yet. 

"If things get weird or uncomfy we'll leave, okay? I promise." She says, knowing she's convinced you once you give her a little nod. 

"Okay. But I'm only doing this because I missed Jisoo's cooking." A playful glint shimmers in your eye as you quirk your head to the side, teasing her. 

"Hey!" She groans, pushing your shoulder as the two of you walk down the little concrete path that leads to the front door. "I'm kidding! I missed Lisa's jokes, too." 

You laugh at the gasp she lets out, and you make sure to turn around and press a kiss to her temple to stop her from pouting. 

--

"So, Y/N, where did you go this time?" Jisoo asks, leaning against the marble island of the kitchen as she pops a piece of tanghulu in her mouth. The crack of the sugary coating pulls your attention away from Rosé, where it had momentarily been -- she looks awful. Bags rest underneath her eyes, her normally vibrant features crestfallen now as her gaze scans across the food on her plate. 

You look at Jisoo as you answer her. "The states. We worked with some local companies and small businesses to get more promotional material out in front of people. It's actually pretty amazing, guys -- you're blowing up over there. They love you." The girls smile at your words, feeling a sense of accomplishment swell within themselves. Back when they were trainees they never imagined that they'd end up this far, and yet here they are, seeing their dreams come true, day after day. 

You're just happy to be along for the ride. It's not easy by any means -- people often crack under the pressure and get discouraged by the hustle and bustle of everything that such a major operation entails -- but you've never been more thankful for a position in your life. 

"As they should," Lisa smirks, looking self-assured with the little cocky motion she does. You almost choke on the piece of food you just stuffed in your mouth, laughing at how ridiculous she looks. 

After successfully not dying, you look at her and shake your head. "Lisa, what is wrong with you?" She puts on her infamous meme face, pretending to be shocked by your question, and you cackle again. The sound makes Rosé jealous; she wishes she were the one making you laugh like that. 

Another hour or so passes with the 5 of you just relaxing and snacking together at the table, taking turns trading stories and jokes in the meantime. After finishing your dessert and complimenting the unnie's cooking skills, you make your way towards the kitchen with a groan of, "I'm so full" thrown over your shoulder. 

You begin washing the dishes, finding it only fitting seeing as they spent all that time preparing such a good meal. It's the least you can do. A smile tugs at your cheeks when you hear the door open, followed by light footfalls against the hardwood. Jennie. 

Warm arms snake around your waist as she hugs you from behind, resting her cheek against your back. Your brows furrow when you notice an unusual thing -- either Jennie grew a few inches in the last 5 minutes, or someone else is holding you. Their cheek reaches a place Jennie isn't tall enough to, and it all hits you.

It's Rosé. 

You go to shut the water off and step away, but the sounds of her quiet sniffles give you pause. "Please don't." She whispers into your shirt, bunching the material up within her fingers against your stomach. A pang of sadness pulls against your heart strings, the long forgotten feeling reignited by the waver in her voice. "Rosé," you start with a sigh, ready to launch into the practiced speech of how happy you are with Jennie now and how you've moved on. She tugs at your shirt, slowly turning you around, and you can't find it in yourself to break her heart even further in this moment. Her eyes are filled with what tears have yet to stream down her face, brimming with the salty liquid you hate to see. 

Even after everything, you can't stand to see her cry. 

So, perhaps stupidly, you allow her to lean forward and rest her head against your chest; you let her fall into your arms, sinking into the embrace she never intended to miss so much. 

It was innocent. Completely, utterly innocent, but Rosé couldn't stop herself -- not when you were there again, right in front of her, looking so good it hurt. She wrapped her arms around your neck, pushing her lips against yours in a kiss you weren't prepared for at all. Her mouth moved quickly against yours, knowing you'd be shoving her away at any moment. But she was okay with being selfish again -- she needed you then, and you allowed her to keep kissing you until you realized what was happening. 

As you go to stumble away and put distance between the two of you, the door once again opens; only this time, it's actually Jennie. Her eyes immediately dart between the two of you as she notices how Rosie's hands are still holding you close, both of your lips swollen from the kiss. All at once you realize how the situation must look, and you begin panicking. You knew this was a bad idea from the start. 

"Jennie, no. I promise this isn't what you think." You shake your head, finally freeing yourself of Rosé's grip as you take a couple steps towards your girlfriend. She takes an equal amount back, scoffing lightly at the memory of the scene she just witnessed. 

"Yeah, okay," she says, sounding anything but convinced as she makes her way towards the door. You go after her, but she holds a hand up -- after knowing her for so long, you've learned that that signal means to give her some time alone. Both of you know you'll go after her again later, but she needs some time right now. As she leaves the dorm, the heavy sound of the door shutting is the only noise that cuts through the palpable tension. 

"How could you do that?" You ask, voice small, not even turning around to look at Rosé. You doubt that she's even sorry. 

She isn't sorry. At least, not for kissing you. It felt good to have you like that, and she doesn't regret it. However, from what angle of your face your side profile offers to her, she can see how upset you are. That's what makes her feel the slightest bit guilty for her timing. 

"I spent so much time trying to get you to notice me, and now you choose to do that? You're unbelievable, Roseanne-- I'm finally happy, and what, you want to ruin that?” She takes the blows as they come, staying quiet. “If you've ever cared about me at all then you'll stay away." You set your jaw, willing the tears to go away. You've wasted too many on her, and you'll be damned to look weak right now. 

"Y/N, I-" 

"No. Don't apologize when we both know you don't mean it. You've always been selfish, Rosé." You bite back, not caring if the words cut her down like her old ones always used to do to you. Earlier, before her little stunt, you were starting to feel sorry for her; clearly though, that was yet another mistake on your part. 

You leave without another word, praying that she doesn't further complicate the situation by following after you. Jennie is the only thing on your mind as you hop in your car, having an idea of where she might be.

--

"Jennie, no. I promise this isn't what you think." 

Your worried voice replays in her mind for the millionth time, further tormenting her. She's been cheated on before, so that phrase isn't a new thing to her. 

She was always afraid this would happen. She used to lay awake at night, overthinking as usual, wondering when the beautiful thing the two of you created would ultimately come crashing down. It was too good to be true, and she curses herself for foolishly believing any different. 

The better part of an hour passes by as she sits on the park bench, reminiscing on all the memories you've made here. The idea of ending things with you and starting over with someone else sinks in, and she hates the feeling. She only wants you -- she's only ever wanted you -- and the thought that things could really be over now hurts her more than she cares to admit. 

Your eyes scan across the park, ghosting over the playground equipment until they zero in on her, sitting near the fountain that you shared your first kiss. Such a sap, you smile bittersweetly. 

You ruffle through the plastic bag that sits in the passenger's seat, moving the receipt out of the way so that you can pick up what you're really after. Returning your hands to the steering wheel, you grip it while giving yourself a little pep talk before exiting the car. You press a kiss to the present in your hand for good luck, hoping this encounter will go well. 

Water spouts from the top of the fountain, the sound growing louder the closer you get to Jennie. Her back is turned to you, and for that you're thankful -- you're not quite prepared to see how she'll be looking at you. Now just a few feet away, you say, "Marry me."

You’ll do whatever it takes to show her how crazy you are about her.

Her head whips around, completely taken aback by your proposal. She thinks that there's no way you're serious, but when she looks down to find her favorite flavor of ring pop in your hand, her eyes widen. You're sick of wasting time, and seeing that she hasn't yelled at you or turned you away yet, you take advantage of the situation. 

"Marry me, Jennie," you repeat, taking small, careful steps towards her until you're right next to the bench. "She kissed me, but I tried to push her away. I told her that you're the only one for me." 

She blinks, taking in your words as she notices you nervously toy with the plastic wrapper of the candy. She knows you're telling the truth; you're a terrible liar, and you wouldn't be here right now if you didn't want her back. If you wanted to choose Rosé over her, you had the perfect opportunity to do so back at the dorm.

But you don't; you want Jennie, and now you're standing in the middle of your favorite park, proposing with a piece of candy to prove that to her. The things you do for love. 

"It just scared me, Y/N. Seeing her wrapped around you like that--"

"I know, baby. I know. But I promise I didn't want it, and it meant nothing to me. I'm so in love with you, Jennie Kim." 

She smiles at the dopey grin on your face, seeing how smitten you are. 

"Okay," she answers back, yet again looking at your hands. 

"Is that a yes?" You ask, slowly beginning to tear open the wrapper. 

"Yes, dummy. I'll marry you." She declares, nodding her head with a laugh at how slow you are sometimes. 

"Yay!" You shout, stepping forward to pick her up in your arms. You set her back down with a smile, slipping the ring onto her finger as your heart soars. 

Jennie kisses you, letting the action convey all the emotions she's been through in the past few hours. "I love you." She sighs, resting her forehead against yours. 

"I'd surely hope so, jagi," you smirk against her lips, giggling at the squeal she lets out when you playfully pinch her side. Her kisses are replacing all traces of Rosé, and she's comforted by the fact that you'll so adamantly choose her, everyday. 

With a smile, Jennie realizes something: never again will she be forced to dream of having you in another life -- her wishes came true, and now she'll have you in this one, always.