#This also means Adrien is a lamb of a god ;) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

xhanisai · 5 years ago

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Phantom Pain

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A/N: *Dumps remaining coursework and essay crap to one side* So! Chat! Fucking! Blanc! EH? I think it's my favourite episode of miraculous of all time lel~ An idea popped up in my head and I won't be able to sleep till I've got it out of my system. It's been a long time since I've written some decent angst despite it being my favourite genre. Enjoy the drabble and my ten minute doodle along with it~~~

(WARNING: Mentions of child abuse is in this fic)

Inspired by this MV "Phantom Pain" (collaboration of Rahwia and Luz of their Royal Scandal collection) It's wonderful~!

~(x)~

"Tch!"

Again.

The familiar yet foreign stab of pain resonated through the teen's body as he recoiled slightly and clutched his chest. This time, Adrien felt like he was smacked by something hard and heavy.

A cane perhaps...?

He inhaled sharply once more and then allowed himself to relax. The boy didn't dare to meet his kwami's pitiful gaze- he's had enough of everyone treating him like some wounded lamb.

"It's been weeks now kid..." Plagg murmured out with anguish, ears and tail drooping and his favourite pungent snack left uneaten. The God of destruction plopped himself on top of Adrien's shoulder, hoping he can comfort the boy. "You need to tell Ladybug-"

"No." Plagg felt his fur stand up to the ends at the hero's uncharacteristic harsh tone. Adrien realised it too, lowering his head down apologetically and used a finger to stroke his kwami's head. "No Plagg, not now."

"You've been saying that for a long time! You can't hide it forever. If you're not gonna see a doctor then at least see the Lady!" Plagg was met with another sigh whilst Adrien flopped back down on his bed. He pulled a pillow against his face, fingers close to digging holes into the few comforts he has in life.

"My Lady was literally thrown into Guardianship with little warning and zero training even though she's so exhausted from her civilian duties. I don't know how much you can see or hear whilst I'm transformed but one good glance at her and you can tell that she's about to burst. I'm supposed to help her out, not add to her burdens..."

"You'll only start burdening her once your pains elongate, especially during akuma attacks. Stupid!" Plagg scoffed, kicking one of Adrien's blonde locks that stuck out of his gelled hairstyle. His scowl only deepened when the model chuckled at his antics. "This isn't funny kid! Watch, when you start bending over in pain and crying and crawling on the floor, I will rub it into your face of how I told you so! Stupid kitten!" The God kicked the hair strands a few more times till Adrien rolled over and merrily flicked him away.

"That's not going to happen Plagg." A reassuring smile was set on Adrien's face. "These pains itself are kinda...I'm not sure how to word it...abstract?"

"What is that supposed to mean, Blondie?"

"It's like they're there but not there at the same time, do you understand? It's like taking a shot to the arm and getting that sting for a split second...only to feel nothing afterwards- excluding that horrible ache you get from injections. That's about it..."

"Hmmmm...interesting..."

"Do you have an idea of what it is?"

"The only thing I know is that human biology is weird and sucky."

"Wo-ooow. You're so helpful." Adrien commented dryly.

"I know~ I should absolutely win the most helpful being on Earth award!" Whether Plagg was being serious or not, Adrien couldn't tell. With another painful sigh, the boy forced himself to sleep.

He couldn't sleep that night.

Neither could Plagg.

~(x)~

Until the God commented on it, Adrien wasn't aware that he was unconsciously avoiding his father. The boy hadn't realised when he have made a habit of eating his meals in his room or when he stopped asking about his paternal figure in general. To no one's surprise, neither Nathalie nor Gabriel attempted to approach him about his new behaviour patterns.

"Huh...I didn't notice," Was all that Adrien muttered out before he shrugged and munched on his toast. Plagg narrowed his eyes at this and decided to pursue a new mission.

Keep his eyes open.

Even if this costs him his own sleep and relaxation.

Just as the teen was about to leave the bitter mansion for school, an authoritative voice from the top of the stairs halted him. Whether that was from habit, surprise or even fear, neither Plagg nor Adrien were able to pinpoint it.

"Yes Father?" As soon as the boy made eye contact with the man, excruciating pain bled through his body. Adrien's acting skills however are said to be immaculate so the only thing Gabriel caught was an eye twitch from his son.

"Nathalie has fallen sick again so I'm here to inform you that you have a photoshoot starting at twelve sharp till the rest of the afternoon. Make sure you're on time, or else." The pain only worsened when Gabriel's tone turned grave.

"U-Understood, Sir." It took everything for Adrien to let his voice out coherently rather than the anxious, scratchy feeling that built up instead. He couldn't bare to stand for another second so with a quick nod, the boy exited the building.

A walk turned out to be a speed walk.

A speed walk quickly changed to a jog.

A jog suddenly burst into a full blown sprint.

Adrien didn't stop until he was safe and secure inside the car with Gorilla. He gasped for a breath and clenched a fist against his chest till the pain and apprehension died down. Plagg's soothing purrs sent warmth through his body and Gorilla's presence was like a soothing balm to the mind.

"I haven't been this scared since..." Adrien immediately bit his tongue to say no more. He refused to let that memory resurface to his messed up mind. It took him months to stop flinching at his father's presence ever since that day and he would gladly chop off his arm than go through that again.

Finally, they've arrived at school, a good thirty minutes early. Just as Adrien was about to step out, Gorilla caught his attention with a soft grunt. Curious, Adrien paused with wonder.

The bodyguard moved his hands and arms into various gestures, his beady eyes softened with worry and kindness.

'I'm here for you, it will be okay. I will protect you.'

Adrien felt himself getting choked up from the exhilaration that spread through his body from head to toe. Blinking back his tears, he signed back a 'Thank you,' with a megawatt smile.

He's not alone.

~(x)~

She looked so much more tired today.

Not as in sleepy or anything like that- just exhausted and full of melancholy.

Her wonderful smiles were always something that Adrien looked forward to along with her energetic antics. Now? He hasn't seen that smile in weeks (he declines the outrageous idea of her fake smiles as an actual smile).

What happened to his Princess? She could give his Lady a run for her money right about now.

Adrien felt a heavy ache agonising his chest and his eyes pricking again. Only this time, it felt like his heart was mourning. Or that he was longing for something. He has long since gave up on identifying his emotions when it comes to the budding designer. Before, Adrien vowed that if anyone dared to hurt Marinette or make her cry, he wouldn't spare them.

Now, he's willing to destroy the world for her.

It scared him beyond conception but at the same time, he's accepted it as naturally as breathing. He didn't dare to tell Plagg this. Nor Ladybug.

"You alright there, Marinette?" Adrien placed a tentative hand on her forearm, face etched with worry. Marinette lifted her head off her hand, blinking slowly at the boy. Her desk was scattered with so much work, ranging from school work to commissions to student council work and- is that Mandarin?

"Hey you," For the first time in a long while, Marinette smiled. It was soft, slightly pained and her eyes twinkled ever so lightly. Yet, it was like a goldmine to Adrien. He let his lips mirror hers. "I'm fine, don't worry about me Adrien," Her voice was quiet and slow as she placed a hand over his.

"Telling me not to worry about you is like telling the weather to stop raining in England," He earned a delightful giggle from Marinette and he felt his body alleviate from the pain earlier on. Sometimes, he could swear that Marinette's smile is the cure to everything.

"I can assure you that there are better things to worry about. Like the Chemistry test we have this afternoon,"

"Eugh. For once I'm thankful for the shoot at twelve." He dramatically draped himself on the desk, the back of his hand against his forehead as he pretended to die. He caught laughter from not only Marinette but a few other students in class. "Also, sorry to burst your bubble but I can assure YOU that you're the only thing worth worrying about,"

He got a small gasp from her.

Marinette's cheeks pinkened beautifully and her lips were shaped in a perfect 'o'. She was about to gleefully retort back but suddenly, she seemed to have closed back in and her eyes turned downcast again.

A restraint.

But why?

Adrien didn't get the chance to ask; the bluetooth on her ear buzzed, alerting Marinette of some prior engagement and she was quick to excuse herself. The teen didn't want to let her go so easily.

Marinette felt her hand getting tugged backwards by a larger pair. Like a deer in headlights, she glanced at Adrien with despair. He only stared back with plea, tightening their interlocked fingers.

'Stay. Please.'

'I can't...'

Reluctantly, Adrien let her go. He memorised every movement and feeling as her fingers slipped away, taking away all the comfort and warmth with her without a word. The misery and irritating pain sounded their presence in his heart once more for a millisecond before droning away into a numbing buzz.

Is this...

Heartbreak?

"Hey dude," Nino's voice brought Adrien back to reality. "I know you're worried, we all are. But we have to give 'Nette some space. She's going through some personal shit right now."

"She is? I wasn't aware..." He clutched his shirt and twisted the fabric against his chest, staring at the door forlornly as if Marinette's going to magically appear.

"None of us were till I finally cracked her down after pestering for so long," Alya mused sadly. "She mentioned that she's really messed things up so badly that she has no choice but to fix it alone. Oh and she's taken on Chinese too which is like another clusterfuck."

"I saw some of the papers on her desk..." Adrien added.

"She literally lives in the library now with all this work she's doing. When was the last time she ate Alya?" Nino's innocent question set Cesaire off as she stormed out of the room.

"MARINETTE! YOU BETTER HAVE EATEN BREAKFAST TODAY OR ELSE I'LL SHOVE A MILLION CROISSANTS DOWN YOUR THROAT!"

Adrien bit his lip and shook his head, knuckles whitening as they gripped the desk with displeasure.

"Whoever turned Marinette into this must be the lowest of the low..." The model let out a violent curse afterwards, ignoring Nino's astonished look. It's rare for Adrien to swear but from what Nino has observed, whenever the boy does so, it's because he's absolutely pissed.

"Marinette must really care for them, whoever it is she claims she's hurt." Nino murmured. The pain in Adrien's chest only intensified after hearing this.

"If making her into a passive, depressive robot is what it takes to satisfy them, then they clearly need a wake up call,"

"...or maybe she isn't aware that she doesn't need to push everyone away and take on all of these responsibilities to redeem herself. Marinette is a perfectionist so whenever she falls, she falls hard."

"I-I never really thought of it like that..."

"You gotta come up with conclusions of both sides of the argument before jumping into the fray. Not everyone likes to dig their teeth in like an overprotective angry boyfriend." Nino cackled at Adrien's flushed complexion, digging his elbow into the model's torso fondly.

"Hey! I'm not her boyfriend!"

~(x)~

Ladybug and Chat Noir stood tall at the top of the Eiffel Tower, peering down at the citizens downbelow at the stroke of midnight. The lights of the tower gave the duo a superhuman glow, making them seem impenetrable and omnipotent.

The wall between them however made them so much more vulnerable and human than a Parisian could possibly fathom. The heroine was oddly knackered, silent and stoic whilst the hero was peculiarly submissive, tight lipped and detached. Their internal thoughts brought out their intimidating fronts, possibly fooling a foreigner that Ladybug and Chat Noir are mere strangers.

"So, when were you going to tell me?"

Chat Noir felt another strike of pain hit him but this time, in the head. His iron will and pride was what stopped him from staggering on the spot. His eyes did widen in surprise but knowing his partner, she caught that in her peripheral vision.

"Tell you what?"

"Don't act dumb, Chat Noir. Plagg snuck in this evening and told me everything." He would have melted at Ladybug's gentle tone had he not been busy muttering about how he's going to replace Plagg's camembert with the cheapest cheese in France. "Why didn't you tell me?" Ladybug's voice wavered with hurt and Noir was hit with deja vu.

"They're not serious bug, just...odd sensations that come and go."

"He claimed that you collapsed onto the floor once because you were in so much pain!" The boy winced at this, recalling the horrendous memory that surfaced. His mind wandered to his father's actions a few years back and suddenly, the belt wounds on his back felt raw again.

"But you've already got so much on your plate already..." He found his face cradled by her hands and her bluebell eyes turned icy. Chat couldn't help but shudder, shattering his aloof composure.

"Listen to me, those things are nothing compared to you. You will always take priority, do you understand? If you're hungry, we drop everything and get you food. If you're tired, my arms are open for you to sleep in. If you're in pain..." Tears were now pouring out of her eyes as she sniffed. "Then you should let me heal your wounds...and I can't do that if you don't tell me what's wrong, Chaton."

The sight of Ladybug's composure crumbling before him suddenly flashed to Marinette's despondent expression, causing a piercing pain to shoot through his head like a bullet to the brain. Chat didn't stop himself this time as he toppled into his Lady's arms, digging his claws through his hair with one hand and grasping Ladybug's waist like a lifeline with the other.

"If worrying about me is what makes you cry like this, then I'd rather die."

Chat pulled away from the embrace and clenched his teeth. Ladybug only paled, shaking her head. She didn't dare to let him go, gloved fingers digging into his shoulders.

"W-Why would you say something like that?" Ladybug sputtered before masking her raw feelings with anger. "Don't you DARE say something like that again! Do you understand!? There will be no dying or talk of death!" She banged a fist against his chest for good measures. Hard enough to send a message, gentle enough to afflict zero pain.

"I can't help what I feel," Chat Noir settled a hand on her cheek, thumb massaging the area below her eye. His face mellowed to the most tender expression Ladybug has ever seen. "You were already acting weird and skittish around me that evening when you placed your head on my shoulder," He let his hand trail to the back of her head. "And then when Fu gave up his memories and left you with everything, I always saw you with puffy eyes, tense muscles, no more of that beautiful smile..." He kissed her forehead so lightly, it was like a butterfly tickled her skin with its delicate wings. "It's like you've given up on happiness and I hate it. And if I'm just going cause more sadness then-"

"Stop. You're one of the few people out there in my entire life that keeps me going. You're one helps me keep fighting," Ladybug looked away again and then faced him with newly found determination. "But that's not what matters right now. What matters is this bizarre pain you're going through. Please, tell me everything."

Ladybug is a stubborn girl. This doesn't mean it's impossible to crack her down. However, Chat decided that it'll be easier to tackle on her overworking habit after they got his mundane problems out of the way.

He told her everything. Starting from waking up in the middle of the night, clutching his chest, the feeling of heartbreak whenever he sees his close friend, the deja vu and finally, his avoidance of his father.

"You...you fear your father?" Ladybug looked confused for a second as Chat looked sheepish. Abruptly, her face darkened with indignation, causing his heart to start throbbing. "Chat Noir...has your father ever hit you?"

The wind breezed past them in a howl.

Time seems to have stood still.

Chat felt the blood rushing through his ears like a hurricane and his body shook. Hugging himself, the boy quickly denied, shaking his head and stammering.

His teary eyes said otherwise.

~(x)~

Adrien collapsed back on his bed, the energy seeped out of his pores yet his eyes remained wide open. He played the memories of earlier on through his head.

Of how Ladybug refused to let him go.

Of how she cursed their secret identities.

Of how she threatened to mutilate his father for DARING to lay a hand on him despite it being a few years ago.

Or...

Has he recently done so but Adrien somehow wiped it away from his memories?

He didn't know anymore.

The model rubbed his chest, thankful that he's been relatively pain free after his meeting with Ladybug. Was opening up the cure to it? Did Ladybug put some sort of healing spell on him? Maybe talking about feelings isn't so bad after all. Yet, Adrien worried his lips with guilt- how is his Lady meant to cope now that she knows what a shitty Father he has?

Plagg has been strangely quiet, now that Adrien has realised. He prodded the Kwami a few times with his fingers, trying to get a reaction from him. He even waved a slice of camembert but that got nothing!

"Plagg...please talk to me..." As if the heavens have finally answered his prayers, Adrien grinned goofily when Plagg finally faced him. The God gave a little purr when his charge stroked his head.

"Get some sleep kid, I wanna see you, Glasses one and Glasses two bully Princess into eating breakfast tomorrow. M'kay?" Adrien felt his heart warm at the thought of the noir haired girl.

"First of all, stop calling Nino and Alya 'Glasses'. Second, 'Princess' is my nickname for Marinette, get your own." With that said and done, the teen was swept away into a blissful sleep for the first time in forever.

No more pain.

No more sadness.

Plagg's gentle smile was then eclipsed with the most demonic, dangerous expression a being could possibly have. His lime green eyes turned acidic and feral. His aura switched to one of bloodlust.

There are many things and secrets that kwamis keep away from their holders or be vague about.

For example, when the holders are transformed, the kwamis can see everything through their eyes and hear everything through their ears. It's like watching the world in someone else's body.

Consequently, it wasn't only Ladybug who found out that Adrien used to get hurt.

That's also not it, not even the slightest.

It took perhaps a week or longer for Tikki and Plagg to regain their memories from Oblivio. An adorable secret that they'd happily share with Adrien and Marinette once it's safe for them to share their identities.

It was only after Ladybug asked that question today when they regained their memories...

From the erased timeline.

Plagg phased through Gabriel's door robotically, his aura growing larger and larger and so much more dangerous.

This is the man who hurt Adrien...

This is the man who forced Marinette to leave Adrien or else he'd take away his freedom...

This is the man who did this just to create akuma fodder...

This is the man who broke Adrien's mind with his mother's corpse in the basement...

This is the man who BEAT the ever loving SHIT out of his own son...

This is the man who MANIPULATED Adrien and kept on BREAKING him...

This is the man who CAUSED his kitten's and Ladybug's world its DEMISE.

And ALL of this is just for a SELFISH wish which can only be granted at the price of ADRIEN'S LIFE.

Much to Plagg's chagrin, Gabriel was wide awake, ready to step inside a strange circle with Nooroo hovering miserably by his side. The dark God knocked over something to grab the man's attention.

Gabriel Agreste turned around with anger at being disturbed and caught (probably was expecting Adrien and more than ready to lash out at the poor boy) only to gawk like a dead fish. Plagg paid no mind at the villain's rambles, piecing together that his suspicions were true of Adrien being Chat Noir. As expected, Gabriel had a psychotic grin plastered on his face, ready to steal Adrien's ring.

"Nooroo," Plagg finally spoke. "Take the brooch and hide in my kitten's bag. You'll meet up with our lovely Guardian tomorrow." Tears of joy escaped the lilac kwami's eyes, nodding and easily phased through his ex-master's chest to grab the brooch, making way to the door.

"What!? Nooroo what are you doing! Obey your master now this instant!" Gabriel's thunderous roar was left unheard and soon, it was just him and Plagg. "What the hell did you do to my servant you despicable rodent!?"

"That's the God of Destruction to you, scum." The aura around Plagg suddenly took shape, distorting into the most monstrous being one could ever imagine.

"And I will show you what we do to those who misuse the power of the Miraculous and mistreats their offsprings..."

~(x)~

Marinette and Adrien burst out laughing as they witnessed Nino get whammed by a hoard of snowballs from not only Alya but the rest of the girls as well. Something to do with revenge of his earlier comment about how the latest Marvel film sucked. The duo sipped on some of the delicious Dupain Cheng hot chocolate, savouring every drop.

"How are you not freezing your butt off?" Marinette whined, blowing some air into her hands with a shudder. "I can't feel my fingers..." This caused the boy to blurt out into snickers again.

"Not all of us are cold blooded like you, Mari." The girl in question simply stuck her tongue out at him. "Wow, very mature." He poked her cheek with his ungloved hand, earning a squeal in protest.

"Don't touch me! You're so cold what the hell!?"

"But the best way to warm up is to cuddle! Come one~"

"Noooooooo-"

Marinette didn't make it two steps as she found herself enveloped in a pair of arms and her untimely clumsiness caused them both to trip and fall into a blanket of snow. The two glanced at each other for a moment before dissolving into giggles.

"Ah~ it's been a while since I've laughed like that." Marinette quipped. Adrien helped lift her to her feet, brushing off any snow on her body like a gentleman. "I missed it, letting loose like that."

Adrien smiled warmly in return when she fixed his scarf. "I missed it too, your laugh," Marinette's eyes widened with awe, that beautiful shade of pink sprinkled on her cheeks before she ducked down shyly and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Deja vu swept over them both as they made eye contact again.

Adrien tucked a strand behind her other ear before trailing his hand down her arm and reaching her hand. He gave it an encouraging squeeze so that she can let her fingers curl with his. Their eyes darted between each others lips to their eyes, a silent question left in the air.

The model didn't get a chance to lean in as soon as he felt a large hand place itself on his shoulder. He turned around only to see a grave looking Damocles.

~(x)~

Dead.

His father is dead.

Police has swarmed the mansion, searching for clues and leads in how the man managed to die.

The details weren't pretty.

Apparently when Nathalie went to Gabriel's room with his schedule in hand, she found a grotesque looking corpse staring back at her on his chair. The room was filled with black soot, vines and extraterrestrial things. Things beyond human understanding. Adrien had an idea of who exactly did it.

He surprisingly didn't care. In fact, it's like a weight has been lifted off his chest and he can finally breathe.

"Monsieur Agreste? I know it's a lot to take in but do you need a minute to clear your head? Anything?" Sabrina's father asked considerately, a fatherly tone used in order to coax him.

Adrien didn't say anything for a while, touching his shoulder with one hand and staring off into space.

Plagg's purrs in his pocket gave him a sense of reality and finally,

The dams broke.

"He can't hurt me anymore...I'm free..."

~(x)~

A/N: Tfw you say you're gonna do a drabble but sit down four hours straight instead and go crazy hurr durr...

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