#Things to do in Gwangju

[lbxbx]

Cockpit 7 | knj

Pair: Namjoon x reader

Summary: Namjoon goes through a rough time while getting a divorce, meeting you at the club two weeks in a row when attraction becomes unreal.

Rating: +18 mature content, Smut, divorce, fatherhood.

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taglist: @wecanpretendit | @whoisbts | @yoonjinsrkive | @my-current-mood-is | @joonzseoulmate | @parkinglot-nights | @missbangtangirl | @m00njinnie

“Four aces.” Namjoon puts his cards down and he thinks he won, he claps his hands and takes a sip from his beer. “What do you got?”

“Don’t celebrate too early Joon.” You put your cards down. “Straight flush.” And you finally beat his cards and win the game.

That day was a lazy day for both of you, after your nap you two woke up hungry and ended up cooking pasta with prepackaged sauce to save time, and after dinner he wanted to see if he could beat you in a poker game, and you won the game three times in a row.

“Fuck.” He murmurs. “Practice round.” He tries to manipulate the game which makes you laugh. “I’m ready to play you again and I’ll win.” You shrug.

He nods and takes another sip from his drink. “You got lucky y/n.” He has the habit of messing with you and you know he’s doing it again now so you hit his chest. “You’re such an idiot.” You get up on your feet and collect the plates that were still on the coffee table before you head to the kitchen, he follows you and takes the plates from your hands before putting them in the sink. “You should go lie down, I’ll do the dishes.”

You giggle and cross your arms. “I’m okay, I promise.”

He’s been treating you like a fragile piece of glass the entire day, When you’re making dinner, he felt like a burden when you got up and insisted to cook, even when you didn’t even finish half of your plate, he knows you cooked just because he’s there. So he insisted on helping in the kitchen even though when he turns everything into a disaster.

He washes the plates before stacking them in the dishwasher, you tilt your head and just think.

Why?

Is she blind? His wife must fucking brainless for treating him like utter shit and turning his life upside down.

This man walked out of a book, he’s sweet, sensitive, caring, smart, cute, attractive, and really good in bed. Why would she do that?

You were never the type to praise a man or care for one emotionally because you’re a little sure that most of them are heartless really.

But Kim Namjoon needs to be treated with love, he deserves to be loved and to be taken care of.

There’s just one thing left to do, you’ve studied this man enough and now you need someone else to do that instead, you’re probably blinded by his good looks or something, so you need someone to see him differently.

“Do you have anything planned Friday?” You use your palms for support and jump to sit on the counter, he hums and looks up for a second trying to remember his schedule. “I’m supposed to fly to Gwangju tomorrow night, and I’m flying back Friday evening,” He nods when he remembers before he asks. “Do you wanna do something?”

You didn’t think it much, but this is the perfect opportunity to finally get him to meet your friends. “I’m planning to host a game night with my friends, and I want you to come over and join.”

He grabs the kitchen towel to dry his hands before he scratches the back of his neck, a little hesitated to answer.

“Don’t worry, they already know about you and they’re really nice people.”

You really wish you didn’t say that, because it obviously made him uncomfortable. You can tell from the way he fidgets in his spot and looks away. “I hope I didn’t make things awkward for you.” He says.

You shake your head immediately. “No, Hoseok found out when he saw you here a couple weeks ago, And Jimin actually found out on his own, you’ll get to see the others on Friday, but I promise, other than their inappropriate jokes and really loud arguments, they’re good people.”

He turns to face you again before a smirk sits on his face, taking a few steps closer to you. “So you want to introduce me to your friends?” And you playfully hit his chest, “They’re finally going to see the guy who fucked their friend huh?” He continues. Your face flushes red for a moment and you feel heat creeping all over your body.

He nods slowly. “Sure, I’d love to join then.”

-

“You’re kidding.” Of course it’s Kim Taehyung, who’s face suddenly drops and changes to the point you would barely recognize his features, he’s the last one to find out that Namjoon is joining you tonight and he clearly isn’t that glad about it. “Y/n, he lied to you, you can’t just-“

“I know.” You interrupt him, “I got to know the man very well in the past month, I just need you guys to help me, you’re a guy and you know how guys think, I really care about everyone’s opinion, but I care about yours the most.” You shut the cabinet after grabbing out large bowls for the chips.

You had everything completely planned, you refilled your fridge and mini bar with alcohol and other drinks, you stacked your pantry with different types of chips and candy, and you even made the dips and popped some popcorn.

“You already know my opinion.” He crosses his arms. “And I don’t think I’m going to change it.”

You roll your eyes and sigh. “Just give him a chance, oh and please oh please don’t scare him off and don’t do that thing with your face.” You pause. “Oh and please don’t mention anything about his personal life, I already warned the guys and now I’m telling you, he doesn’t have to know that you know.”

“I’m not going to mention anything, but I can’t promise you anything about not scaring him off.” He grabs the bowls and heads out to the living room, he’s really irritated that when he saw Jungkook in front of him, he snapped at him loudly. “Jungkook will you please move your fat ass and drag the poker table to the living room?” He scolds the younger which makes you laugh, you know the topic of Namjoon irritated him just because he’s really protective of you, they all are, but Taehyung never had close girl friends and you’re the first one ever, that’s why he protects you at all costs.

“I kinda wish Namjoon joined us all the time if you’re going to wear dresses like these.” Jungkook finally gets up to get the poker table, you cringe and kick him in the shin. “What a creep.”

You do admit you look good in that dress, you had just bought it, a dark grey shapewear slip dress that complemented and highlighted every single curve on your body, it had a square collar to bring out your tits, and it was a little above the knee. You matched it with the pair of slippers you wear around your house, cute but really attractive.

Jimin grabs the bowl of chips into his lap and starts eating. “Where is he anyway? Is he always late?”

You rub your forehead, all of them are acting weird today as if they got jealous, not jealous in a romantic way, but jealous in a possessive-over-their-friend jealous. “He landed an hour ago, so he should be here any minute.” You head back to the kitchen and take out ash trays, some of your friends were social smokers and they always light up a few smokes during game nights.

The door bell rings and you hear the rushing footsteps from the living room, and like the kids they are, they rush to check the cameras before they all take their seats and act nonchalant, but all eyes are on the door.

Poor Namjoon he’s about to be scared off.

“Can someone please get the door?” You yell from the kitchen.

Namjoon was a little taken back when the door was opened by Yoongi, he was expecting you to be the one to open, his eyes even wonder inside the house looking for you. “Hi.” Yoongi shoots a smile before stretching his hand out to shake Namjoon’s. “I’m Yoongi, come on in.”

And the moment Namjoon steps in, he lets out a nervous smile and looks around the room aching to find you, he’s getting nervous by the second especially when all of them are looking at him.

“Joon?” You finally get out of the kitchen with the ashtrays in one hand, and just like magic, Namjoon suddenly feels like he’s home, his breath is regular again and his heart beat is.. Well he’s still anxious about meeting your friends.

“There you are.” You purposely give him a hug and a kiss on his cheek in front of your friends. “How was your flight?”  He wraps one arm around you and kisses you back on the cheek .”It was great, you look outstanding.”

He did notice the dress and he so desperately wants to check you out but everyone is looking. You giggle and put your hand behind his back. “Guys, this is Namjoon.”

And you introduce him to each one of them, you were too occupied looking at Namjoon’s body language and behavior to notice any discomfort, but he’s doing surprisingly okay, not because your friends are nice to him, but because you’re here with him.

What you didn’t know is that Taehyung is studying this man head to toe, he knows how men look when they’re attracted to someone, and he knows how they even act, and he’s a little amused when he sees the way Namjoon looks at you, he knows that you two know each other for a month, but Namjoon’s looks give him away, he does have something for you, and it’s very obvious.

“Come on everyone, take your seats.” Seokjin stands up, Namjoon pulls a chair for you next to him and speaks. “y/n is on my team.” Which lights up the first argument around the table, calling you on his team is like calling out for shotgun and everyone wanted you to be on their team.

-

Namjoon sits between the hyenas and you’re genuinely scared when he’s around your friends, you still don’t know how far along Namjoon will be able to endure,  your friends are really heavy blooded and ruthless when it comes to joking and making fun of each other.

“It’s me, Namjoon, Yoongi and Mia against the rest of you.” Hoseok said while examining his cards.

You had already played a couple rounds and called it over, but they decided to continue playing since the bet just got higher and they all have alcohol in their systems.

“Yoongi and Mia should play in different teams.” Taehyung teases. “Make them fight.”

Yoongi flips Taehyung off and you look at Namjoon worried he may think this is too much, but he laughs and looks at his cards, his long fingers shuffling through them, a little too focused on them.

“Are they good?” You put your arm on the back of his chair, and he startles for a second, totally not used to being touched in public like that. “Hmm?” He looks at you, your noses almost brushing against each other. “Your cards.” You explain and brush a hair strand away from his face.

“Yeah, they’re not bad.” He says, looking back at his cards. “Come closer.” He proper grabs your chair and pulls you closer to him.

“Come on captain you’re up.” Jimin got way too excited, which makes everyone laughs at him at the nickname he just called Namjoon, and they continue calling him that for the rest of the game.

You get up to get more beer from the kitchen and you hear their voices go louder when the game gets hotter, you return to the living room and you see them pick at Namjoon for being too obvious with his expression, almost exposing his cards. He’s handling it well and biting back at them, they’re still joking of course. You grin and walk closer to him, wrapping an arm around him from behind. “Now stop teasing him will you.” You print a soft kiss on his neck, inhaling his perfume. “They’re just jealous you’re a better player.” You raise an eyebrow at the team playing against him.

Namjoon’s cheeks flush and his heart races a little, he’s been fighting the urge to touch you since the night started, he even finds himself salivating at the look of your bottom lip bitten between your teeth when you’re looking at him, his pants are getting a little uncomfortable for him.

Your actions don’t go unnoticed by your friends and you clearly see Jungkook smirking and Taehyung’s eyes locked onto Namjoon.

You pull your chair and get back into your seat next to him, you feel his thigh pressed against the side of yours and it burns to the touch, you’re trying so hard to control yourself but you’re on the verge of taking him to your bedroom for a little ‘chat’.

You lean in closer to put your chin on his shoulder and take a look at his cards, he’s already got the winning cards but he’s stalling you’re friends and messing with them. You look at him and your eyes meet, he grins and stares at your lips for a split second before looking back into your eyes.

Taehyung’s eyes are piercing at the two of you now which doesn’t go unnoticed by his girlfriend Jade, who ends up elbowing him subtly gaining his attention, but he just couldn’t help but to look back at Namjoon.

Taehyung himself has the highest body count out of everyone, and he’s been with way too many girls and he managed to get away with an excuse not to call them again, he even didn’t call Jade back after their first night together. He knows that men actually do end up calling back women they actually do find attractive, or women who they can benefit of.

Then he thinks, what would Namjoon want to benefit out of you? He’s financially stable, quite good looking he could just point out to any woman and she’ll go on her knees for him, a man with an admirable job, apparently someone who doesn’t mind long term relationship since he’s already married.

Oh yes, the man is married.

And Taehyung finds it funny that they’re all sitting there basically showing him that it’s okay to cheat on his wife with their best friend, gosh this is fucked up on so many levels.

Your friends know that Namjoon is your current fling, but if anyone outside of your circle who doesn’t get the context they would think you two are madly in love. No no…

They would think he’s madly in love.

Plus, Taehyung first considered Namjoon to be a total red flag, but after a couple hours from sitting around the table with him, he doesn’t seem half bad, actually, he’s really cool, and very smart.

Oh and for you?

You totally don’t care who’s looking and who’s not, you’re totally feeling up Namjoon’s thighs under the table, your fingers squeezing softly on his inner thigh, he manages to hide his facial expressions really well, but he man spreads his legs to give you more space to stroke more of his covered skin. “Royal flush.” He couldn’t wait to put his cards down on the table just so he can lay his palm over yours, proper grabbing it and putting it on his clothed erection. The idea itself is arousing the two of you when you’re surrounded by other people and teasing each other with touches from under the table.

“I’m calling Namjoon and y/n on my team the next round.” Hoseok calls which makes Seokjin argue. “That’s not fair, you only get to choose one.”

“Not a chance, Namjoon and I are a team.” You take a sip from your bear.

Of course Namjoon is unbothered by the argument, hell he’s not even listening, his eyes are fidgeting between your hand that’s rubbing his boner subtly under the table, and on your lips and chest rising when you’re breathing.

He could take you right now on the poker table and they can watch, he won’t mind.

-

“Next week, I promise I’ll find a place.” Hoseok suggests when they were already planning the next weekend with Namjoon, they usually discuss it with you but they’re all over the guy, and he’s doing pretty well that he was planning everything and they were listening carefully. You’re watching in awe as they talk to him like they’ve known him for years, and it makes you feel a little anxious.

You recall what he told you the other day, and he was totally right, this isn’t just a hookup, it’s way more than this and that’s what’s making you anxious.

Namjoon digs into his pocket to fish out his phone and he unlocks it. “My parents got this beach house on the outskirts, we could go there. It has a pool and a hot tub and we can light up the bonfire by the beach at night.”

Jungkook is standing really close to Namjoon, he even grabs the phone from the older’s hands and starts swiping through the pictures, an amused look on Jungkook’s face. “How rich are your parents? This house is incredible—Oops, sorry.” Both their faces change and you panic a little wondering what they saw, Jungkook swiped too far and a picture of Jay appears on the screen, of course Jungkook is smart enough to swipe back to the previous photos quickly without making it seem awkward, but it actually is.

You even earn a look from both Taehyung and Seokjin, the air even tenses up a little, you look at Namjoon who contains himself and acts like nothing happened, he thinks that they don’t know, and that they will probably assume that it’s his nephew or brother or anything. But really, they all do know and they’re not acting oblivious enough, thank god he doesn’t notice.

“Okay, clear up your schedules for the next weekend, no excuses y/n.” Jimin speaks sarcastically and you realize you’re holding your breath, you rejected going with them a couple weeks ago, but now since you have your plus one, you actually wanna go. “Shut up.” You squint your eyes at him.

“I should get going.” Seokjin gets up. “I’m on call tomorrow.”

“I need to go too, I’m visiting my parents tomorrow.” Jimin gets up too and walks closer to give you a hug. “I had so much fun tonight, thanks for having us.”

“I had fun too.” You kiss his cheek. “Drive safe.” And he bids goodbye with Seokjin and they get going.

You grab the empty plates and pickup the empty cans of bear when Mia gets up to grab the rest of the empty bowls. “Let me help you.”

Both of you head to the kitchen and you start rinsing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, you can sense that Mia has something to say from the way she’s hovering around you and scratching her eyebrow awkwardly, her eyes carefully scanning you. “Are you okay?” You ask.

You and Mia always shared secrets together and she was always there for you, and so were you, she came up to you for an advice every time she had an argument with Yoongi, you both trust each other.

“Do you not see it?” She whispers, her hand sitting on her hip, one of your eyebrows cocks up in confusion, you’re totally clueless on what she’s about to say. “See what?”

“The way he looks at you, he’s head over heels.”

You roll your eyes before you chuckle. “Mia, Namjoon and I met exactly 6 weeks ago, of course he’s not head over heels for me, what are you talking about.”

“Honey, Yoongi asked me to be his girlfriend after our third date.” She spits. “And look at us now.”

You shrug one shoulder and shake your head. “I can’t see what you’re talking about, he’s still married and he has a child, so this is all probably temporary, no strings attached.”

“No strings attached?” She laughs quietly. “Girl, he’s over here handling your annoying friends on a Friday night. Plus, he’s getting a divorce, so this doesn’t count.”

You pause for a second before you look at the woman. “Who told you that?”

“Hobi told us.” She bites on her fingernails, the asshole did read the papers, but why didn’t he tell you?

“It doesn’t mean anything, he’s not getting the divorce because of me.” You step on the pedal of the trashcan to get rid of the empty cans of drinks.

She sighs. “I’m just saying think it through—“

“Of course I’m not going to, especially when I don’t know where he is about this.” You interrupt her, you had a point. Of course you’re not going to like a man who you met only 6 weeks ago, what if he was on a total different page than where you think you are?

“Baby? Come on, we should be going home.” Yoongi leans against the kitchen door frame and he feels like he interrupted something. “Is there anything wrong?”

“Not at all.” You turn towards the sink and wash your hands.

“What do you think about Namjoon?” Mia asks, her arms crossed, she already knows what her husband thinks, she just wants you to know that he thinks the same.

Yoongi pauses for a second before he puts his hands in his pockets. “I personally think he’s okay, but Jungkook out there is all over your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” You grit on your teeth before you peak your head out of the kitchen door, Jungkook is sitting really close next to Namjoon, and both of them are in what seems to be an important topic,  before he flexes his arm muscles and feels up Namjoon’s. Men.

You roll your eyes and get back into the kitchen. “Jungkook is all over everyone even himself.”

Yoongi laughs quietly before walking closer to you, pulling you into a soft hug. “It doesn’t matter what we think y/n, it’s what you think that matters. I know you wanted us to study the man, and we do actually like him, but it’s you who matters.” And his wife nods eagerly showing you that this somehow was her point too before she adds. “And he seems to fancy you a lot.”

“Yeah.” Yoongi agrees. “But take it slow, will you? The man is still married and we don’t know what’s happening next.”

You sigh and rub your forehead. He’s making sense, and you’re not sure why you’re a little afraid to admit that you finally like someone, but you do, except no matter how hard you think it’s okay to like someone, it still feels wrong when he’s involved with someone else.

“We had so much fun tonight, take care chief.” He squeezes you closer and kisses your cheek. “Goodnight.”

You walk them towards the door, they bid goodbye to everyone before they leave. Jungkook is still occupied talking with Namjoon and the poor guy is listening and he seems to be actually interested.

Taehyung and his girlfriend finally get up too, he walks closer to you to pull you in for a hug. “We had so much fun tonight.” He prints a soft kiss on your cheek before he whispers. “You wanna go out for coffee tomorrow? Just us two.”

You wrap your arms around him and kiss him back on the cheek. “Sure, I’ll call you.” You’re a little glad he suggested this date, you know he’s going to let it all out.

He nods and pulls back before saying goodbye to everyone, actually handshaking Namjoon specifically with a smile on his face, before he grabs his girlfriend and leaves.

You finally walk closer to Namjoon who’s sitting on the couch with his arms crossed, Jungook in front of him on the coffee table not planning to shut his mouth anytime soon, you squeeze in between them and sit on Namjoon’s leg and hug him closer.

The poor man isn’t used to being touched like this or publicly shown affection at all, he’s startled to the point where he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, you grab his arm and put it explicitly on your ass, totally unbothered by the existence of Hoseok and Jungkook.

They’ve done a lot worse so you secretly think that it’s your turn to finally do things like that.

“Did he give you a headache?” You pout, running your fingers through his hair and scratching the back of his head, he melts completely by your touch and he even closes his eyes, barely shaking his head.

“Oh, I’m the one having a headache, you’ve been blabbering nonstop.” Hoseok complains, gritting on his teeth at Jungkook, he gets up and collects his wallet and keys. “I’m going home, I’ll see you next week Namjoon.”

He manages to kiss you on the cheek softly while you’re still sitting on Namjoon’s legs before leaving and forcing Jungkook to finally leave.

You fall next to Namjoon on the couch, yawning and stretching your arms. “Can you please lock the door?”

He laughs quietly before using his palms for support to hover over you, printing a few kisses on your jaw and neck. “But I need to go home.” To which you immediately pout, “One night won’t hurt.”

He leans his forehead against yours and comes to realization, that the last time his lips touched yours was actually very long ago, and as much as he actually wanted to just fuck you senseless, he’s holding back to avoid making you uncomfortable, he doesn’t even dare to press his lips against yours.

He also can’t say no to you, he shrugs it off and finally nods. “One night won’t hurt.”

Even though both of you have been teasing each other with touches the entire night, you still can’t do anything with him since you’re on the last few days of your period.

He rises up on his feet and moves towards the door to lock it before clicking on a few buttons to dim the lights. And from his walk back towards you, you can easily tell that he’s been suffering with his boner that’s hiding in his jeans.

“I’m sorry.” You giggle playfully, he follows your eyesight and scoffs, his hands immediately rushing to his pockets to relieve some of the tightness. “Don’t worry, I got used to having blue balls my entire life.” He sarcastically speaks.

His joke makes you laugh your heart out, your head even falls back on the couch. He finds it contagious that he laughs with you, walking closer to lean his palm on the back of the couch and leaning down to kiss you on the neck and jaw, your laugh slowly halting down and your bottom lip sits between your teeth. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” He grabs you by your hand and pulls you up.

To say he’s trying so hard is an understatement. The way you currently look is making him near losing it, your hair is frizzy and your eyes are half closed, even your dress is no longer covering your legs. Fuck he needs to touch you.

“Ugh.” You groan when you look at the poker table. “Can you please take it inside?”

He looks back at the poker table and carries it up, his veiny arms about to rip his t-shirt open when they bulge, this big boy is insanely attractive that it’s hard for you to keep your hands to yourself.

-

“Of course not.” He pouts, you’re both in bed, your head on his bare chest and he’s tugging random strands of your hair, you look at him and squint your eyes. “Well, I do mind.”

He’s been trying to convince you since the moment you two got in bed, that he won’t mind sex during your period, and of course you argued with the only reasonable excuse, it’s going  to be a blood bath.

“Are you saying you don’t mind other stuff?” He suggestively asks, his finger tapping your nose softly, you know exactly what he means and you take a second to answer. “I don’t know, the whole idea is odd to me.”

He shrugs one shoulder. “We can try if you want to.” Which makes you scoff and roll your eyes. “You’re just saying that because your dick won’t go soft.” And he nods quickly. “I know, it won’t go soft when you’re this close to me and I can’t touch you.”

This knot sits in the pit of your stomach and you feel your body heat up, it feels really good to be sexually craved by someone, you love hearing it so much. “I can’t say I’m not flattered.” You lie down on your stomach, your elbows supporting your upper half as you grab a strand of your hair messing with it. “We could try I guess.”

He looks at your lips and licks his lower one, he could easily bust a nut at how far his imagination is going. “Okay.” He throws the blanket away from your bodies and drops it on the floor before bucking his hips up to pull his boxers down, his throbbing and already leaking cock slams against his lower stomach, the head already red and sensitive.

You swallow when you’re mouth suddenly excretes a stupid amount of saliva, you could kill to just choke on  his dick, you want to make him feel good.

He leans both his arms behind his head and gives you an inviting look, he’s fully surrendered to you, he wants you to help him.

You spit on your palm and wrap your fingers around his cock, instant heat rushes through his body and even his legs spread apart a little. He swallows once, his hand then moves to caress the side of your face softly, he’s been waiting for this moment for a while now.

You stroke his erection slowly, your  eyes focused on the only task you have in your hand, you wanted to just jerk him off at the beginning, but now you need to taste him.

You move your mouth closer to his dick and print the softest kiss on the tip, your eyes now locked into his, you lick once from the base of his shaft to the very tip, a string of saliva mixes with his precum and stays attached to your bottom lip, your other hand moves to the tip to smear his precum with your index finger before you put  it in your mouth, the saltiness sits on your taste buds, and it tastes fucking good.

His cock twitches in your hand at the sight of you doing so, you even giggle playfully and kiss the head again. “All that for me?” You whisper. His eyes almost roll to the back of his head when you wrap your lips around the head and bob your head down and up, your hair falling on your face. “Good fucking girl, just like  that.”

You bob your head lower each time before you pull back and stroke it again, you look him into the eyes and speak with a low voice. “I can suck your cock better than she does”

“Fuck!” He moans at the top of his lungs before he accidentally cums too fast, you even gasp when he shoots his cum in the air and it lands down on his stomach and on your hand, a little drop falling on the corner of your mouth, he holds the bed sheets into his fist and bucks his up with every spill. “Mmm,” His chest heaves dramatically when he’s done, his cock still in your hand and you’re still stroking him slowly. “Look at the mess you made.” You teasingly click your tongue, he looks down at you and smiles lazily. “This is so fucking embarrassing.”

You giggle and climb up towards him, you press the softest kiss on his lips and he immediately kisses you back eagerly, begging to feel more of your lips against his, he’s been wanting to kiss you the entire night, he licks your bottom lip and grabs your head closer, his tongue licks the small drop of his cum near your lips and he spits it into your mouth and you’re more than glad to swallow it.

He pulls back from the kiss and grabs your hand. “Let me clean you up.” He licks every drop of cum off of your fingers and kisses you back on the lips to spit the remaining cum into your mouth and again you swallow.

He wraps his arms around your hips and turns you so you lay flat on the bed, he hovers on top of you and prints small kisses repeatedly on your lips before he moves down to your neck, kissing it and licking softly which makes your body heat up again.

Namjoon never had the chance to study the female body correctly, his previous sexual life was solely just about getting the job done, of course it felt good to him, but with you this whole experience feels new to him and it’s filled with ecstasy. He wanted to explore your body, know what you’re into, not just because it felt insanely erotic to him, but he wanted to please you and make you feel good and satisfied.

He moves down to your chest, your nipples are perked up from underneath your tight white top from the blood pumping all over your body, almost begging to be touched by him, his index finger circles your hard covered nipple softly, his eyes focused on it and his tongue running on his lower lip.

He sticks his tongue out and licks the fabric once, rubs it with his index finger again and now using his thumb to pinch it lightly, your cunt feels numb and you can’t press your thighs together since he’s nestled between your legs.

The moisture he applied to your clothed nipple makes the shirt no longer white, it’s started to get see through and he can see it better now. “You can take my top off if you want to.” You suggest, a little out of breath, he looks up into your face to see the really obvious red flush on your face, now he’s a little more eager to make you cum.

He doesn’t hesitate as his warm fingers climb on your torso from under the shirt and he throws it off of you, your breasts fully exposed to him now, one of his hands lean on the pillow behind you to support his upper half, and the other gropes your breast in a tight grip, fuck, It hurts, but still feels so good.

He leans down and licks the valley between your tits and licks your nipple before sucking on it for his dear life, pulling his head back a little with your breast still in his mouth, the tugging makes your back arch against him, your hand moves to grab his wrist that’s leaning against the pillow. “Shit.” You clench your jaw when you feel your nipple sitting between his teeth, your eyes meet and he grins, almost threatening to actually bite it.

You grab onto his face, your thumb on his right cheek and the rest of your fingers on his left one. “No biting.”

Seeing you under him like that is more than enough to make him erect all over again like he didn’t just shoot a load a couple minutes ago, you find out when you accidentally graze your thigh between his legs and you feel his cock brushing against your skin. You really are flattered.

And he obeys, moving to your other breast to give it some love, before he turns you to lay on your side, and he lays behind you skin to skin, his arm sits under your head and he leans his forehead on the side of your face to kiss your ear. “Did I tell you how much I liked the dress you were wearing tonight?”

Your eyes automatically shut when you feel his hot breath into your ear when he speaks, you let out a breath when your head falls back against his. “You had no idea how much I wanted to bend you over that poker table and fuck your tight cunt.” He whispers, no he explicitly moans into your ear when he speaks. “Let them see how good your man can stretch that tight little pussy of yours.”

You shut your eyes tightly and you can’t take it anymore, you need to cum, you need him to touch you or do anything, you have to cum. “Fuck, Namjoon it hurts.”

“Hmm?” He hums, kissing your ear again, your hand moves to hold onto his that you’re leaning your head onto, you squeeze onto his palm and beg. “Please, please make me cum.”

He could embarrassingly cum fast like he did a couple minutes ago, but this time he’s able to hold back.

“You wanna cum?” He teasingly asks, his free hand grazes on the side of your body before it moves to your ass, he squeezes it into his palm and gives you the hardest spank ever, your butt cheek tingles with heat, on regular bases it would hurt, but now, it’s pushing you closer to your end.

His fingers hook on the elastic band of your panties before he pulls it down to reach your thighs, then wraps his fingers around his erection and settles it against your folds, your wet cunt glazing his cock and making it glisten when he rubs it in between your folds.

The numbness in your cunt hurts and you could feel your arousal on your own thighs, you’re getting way too impatient and eager for him that you grind your hips against his. You know he’s not going to penetrate since you’re basically still on your period, so grinding will do the job.

He grabs onto the back of your thigh and lifts one of your legs up to give him the desired space to start grinding against your folds, the slickness from your cunt making it easier to grind against you.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head when you feel the tip of his dick rub against your throbbing clitoris repeatedly, your jaw drops and you even reach for the back of his head behind you and pull onto his hair. “You’re gonna make me cum, please—“

“I know baby, can you hold back for me just a little?” He whispers into your ear, his irregular breath against your ear sending shivers across your body. “Just a little.” And you respond with shaking your head, your lips falling between your teeth, the knot inside your stomach is going to burst any second now. “I can’t.” You tug onto his hair tighter and grind your hips against his, your butt cheek slams against his body and you finally release, the heat washes through your spine and back and you could see starts in your eyes. “Ha.. Namjoon, I’m sorry.. I couldn’t.” Your hand falls and you start panting for a breath.

He kisses your ear softly and runs his hand on your thighs, pressing his fingers lightly into your skin and he can feel the heat of your body on his fingers tips. “You’re off the hook this time.” He teasingly whispers before he pulls back from behind you, his eyes land on his dick and he sees how much you’ve soaked him with your cream and he smirks, totally ignoring the little smear of blood on his dick.

He sits up on his knees on the bed and helps you lay flat on the bed again before pressing his lips against yours for a few wet kisses, his tongue grazing on your lower lip, his hand grabs onto yours and he leads it to his cock that’s seconds away to busting a nut.

Your body already feels loose that it takes you seconds to gather the strength to stroke his cock, taking the speed up every second, pleasure washes through his entire body that he can’t focus on the kiss and return it to you, his forehead falls against yours and his jaw falls down, his breath quickening and his eyelids falling down slowly. “That’s it.” He managed to hiss under his breath, both his palms sit on the pillow behind you and he lets you do all the work, your hands are getting tired that you have to stop for a second to change your rhythm, which makes him hold his cock into his own hands and stroke it fast.

You feel the need to not waste a drop, so you position your head near his cock and stick your tongue out, clearly telling him to cum on your mouth and face, and that’s the last thing he needs to see so he just lets go and shoots out continuous ribbons of his seed on your tongue and face, decorating it just the way he likes, and he swears you looked fucking gorgeous with his cum all over your face. “Fuck-“ He grunts and his hand falls down, his cock twitching and still shooting out cum on your tongue.

One of your hand grazes on his big thighs and the other one just cleans the cum off of your face to put it into your mouth, your eyes meets his and he stares at you out of breath and in awe, watching you clean every drop of his seed and put it into your mouth, you smirk when you see his cock twitching at the sight, before you stick your tongue out to show him the cum you gathered inside your mouth and swallow it, giving your lower lip a single lick. “Hmm.” You sit up on your knees and pull your panties back up, before wrapping your arms around his shoulder and smacking your tongue teasingly at him. “You taste okay.” You shrug, which makes him laugh and wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him, his soft dick grazing on your lower stomach. “You’re fucking incredible.”

“I know.” You tease and kiss his cheek once. “Now you can go to sleep.”

Both of you lay down on the bed, his back faces you and you hug him from behind, kissing his bare shoulder softly before you finally go to sleep.

-

You walk into the warm café and the scent of the freshly roasted coffee beans and freshly bakes pastries wafts through your nose, you miss going to cafés like that since you’ve been deprived from it ever since you started your job, you used to study in coffee shops back then.

You look around and finally spot Taehyung on one of the tables waving his hand towards you, you walk closer to him, give him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, before you pull the chair across from him and take a seat.

Almost one hour in and you two spend it catching up on daily things, his job, yours, his girlfriend and how he’s planning to ask her to move it, before he finally speaks of the not so forgotten topic and asks you about Namjoon.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you?” You ask him, your eyes locked into his face to study his features, you’re getting anxious slowly and impatient to know what he thinks.

He takes a long sip of his iced Americano before he rests his back against the chair and crosses his arms. “Does it matter what I say?” And that confuses you for a second. “He seems to like you, but we need to address the elephant in the room y/n, he’s still married and you don’t even know where you are on this whole thing.” He shrugs.

You lean your elbows on the table and shrug. “You’re right, but I’m not being delusional Tae, he clearly feels something, don’t you think?”

And he nods. “Perhaps, yeah.” Before he continues. “Look we just need to give it some time, you guys just started talking and you’re just high on each other.”

You huff and take a sip of your drink. “The man is perfect” And it feels like a heavy weight on your shoulder just disappeared when you finally said that to someone. Taehyung grins and shrugs slightly. “The guys like him.”

“And you?”

“I do.” He says. “But it doesn’t matter what any of us thinks, it’s all up to you.”

“You’re not really helping me.” You whine and hit his leg from under the table.

“We can’t discuss anything right now, we need to know where he is at least, we could be reading him wrong after all.” He rubs his leg before cursing at you under his breath.

“Then what are we doing here?” You blink your eyes, “I thought we were going to discuss the entire thing.”

“I just want you to take everything slow, we’re all here for you and we’ve got your back.” He puts his hand over yours and squeezes it softly. “You’re a successful woman, who’s smart enough to take her own decisions and know what’s good for her and what’s not.”

You thought the heavy weight on your shoulders is gone but it’s slowly returning, you’ve always seen people falling in and out of love and you always rolled your eyes at the entire idea, why would people deliberately go through relationships when most of them go down the pooper? That’s why you never did relationships.

And now for a second you judge Namjoon, this man is going through a rough patch in his life all because of his failed marriage, and yet again he’s right here, clearly developing feelings for you and choosing to go sort of the same path again.

“You’re right.” You nod. “I would be lying if I told you I didn’t like the man, I actually do and he ticks everything on my list, I just need to be careful, that’s all.”

“Good.” He squeezes your hand again for reassurance. “How good is the sex?”

Your drink goes through your nose and you actually choke, you cover your mouth and cough repeatedly trying to clear out your airway. “Shut up.” You manage to curse at him.

-

“What do you mean? Of course this can’t happen.” Her father is in mere denial, the divorce papers fall accidentally in his hands. Copies has been sent in the mail on Monday morning to him and his daughter.

She wanted this to happen long time ago but she didn’t realize that she’s dragging down her entire family with her. She too was silenced and forced by her father to do the whole thing since the beginning, so she saw it coming.

She’s going to have to pay for all the manipulation that was done by her family to Namjoon’s.

Namjoon didn’t even tell anyone about the divorce that was going to happen, he filed for it a little before he met you, and then when he did meet you, he knew that he cannot and will not end up with the woman he has under his roof, this can’t be his ending. So he called a few people and even paid his lawyer to help him end it faster.

Her on the other hand just locked the door behind her when she got back to their house, the mail is in her hand and although the title is already clear, she’s still confused by it..

Ministry of Justice,

Seoul family court, Gangnam.

Divorce Agreement.

With her full name on it, she squints her eyes and finally opens the mail eagerly, almost ripping the envelope, luckily Jay slept on the way home, she carried him into his bed before she opened the mail.

It’s her name, and Namjoon’s name, she did see it coming, but she never knew how she would react. But she’s breaking into cold sweat, worried what her family might think if they knew.

Her purpose of this marriage is long gone when she finished her education that was paid by Namjoon’s parents, her parents live off of his family now, but she never needed their money, she never bought herself clothes, makeup, or even anything she craved because it’s their money.

She didn’t pay actual money for her education, she paid her life when she decided to share it with Namjoon.

She despises him, the way he talks, the way he moves, his hands, his eyes, his face. She hates his sense of humor, his voice tone. She even hates the way he breathes or snores. She too, can’t end up with him.

And no matter how hard she tried to convince her family that she’d do anything to make them live a better life without the Kim’s, it ended up with fights and arguments and actual threats from them.

So she went with it, married the man, but she made a promise to herself, that she’s going to turn his life into hell, she never cared what would happen to him, or if it would hurt him or not, so she just went ahead.

And the divorce papers in her hand are the actual clue that her plan worked. But fuck, she knows that this divorce will wreck their lives. She’s terrified by her family.

The door unlocks and Namjoon walks in and he’s in his uniform since he just flew back from Gwangju, he doesn’t even bother to look at her, he kicks off his shoes and loosens his tie.

Something inside her tells her to just make things right, so she just hides the papers back into the envelope and quickly into her purse. “N-namjoon?”

He turns his back to her and walks into his room, closing the door behind him, he still doesn’t know that she got the papers.

She takes a few steps closer to the door and her hand hovers over the door knob, she’s a split second away from opening the door, but Namjoon locks it from the inside.

She doesn’t know what she wants, or what to do.

-

“Please? I’ve been wanting to go for a while.” He whines with a pout on his face that you can hear through the phone.

You’re in your bed, you were sleeping before he called you since you were on the previous night shift, you have the phone pressed against your ear with your eyes still closed, he’s been trying to convince you about the wine tasting tour.

“I’ll come pick you up, and you can call it a date.”

Your eyes are no longer closed when he speaks of a date this easily, you two haven’t been together alone in public other than the day of your conference, and it was a coincidence that day. But he’s asking you to go out on a date with him, and you weren’t even sure you were at that point yet.

“Joon—“ You sigh. “I don’t know.”  Your phone starts vibrating in your hand and you look at the screen to find him requesting a video chat, and you don’t hesitate a second to accept the call.

Your faces meet and he’s lost at the sight of you for a second before he smiles, his pearly whites and dimples clearly visible. “You’re still in bed?” He asks, leaning his phone on the nightstand near his bed, you could see him topless and unzipping his pants.

“Yeah.” You rub  your eyes and stretch, leaning your phone against the pillow next to yours and snuggling under the blanket. “How was your flight?”

“Don’t change the subject.” He smirks. “Are we going wine tasting tonight?” a smile creeps on your face before you click your tongue. “Let me think about it, I need time to decide.”

He puts his clothes on the couch next to his bed while laughing and walking back to his phone to grab it. “Alright. Until then, what are you wearing?” He licks on his bottom lip as he finally sits on his bed and lights up a cigarette.

You take a long breath before you teasingly look under your blanket.

It’s boiling hot outside, and you’ve had too many snacks on your shift that you couldn’t wait to get home and actually get rid of your scrubs, so you chose to sleep with only your panties.

“A ball gown.” You joke, barely stifling a smirk. And he laughs quietly, trying not to be loud. “I don’t believe you.”

“I like to dress to impress, mister Kim.” You giggle, he raises an eyebrow and blows a cloud of smoke. “Then show it to me.”

He knows you’re not wearing anything since he can see your bare shoulders, you have your blanket covering your upper half. “How was your flight again?” You ask and he rolls his eyes. “You’re such a tease.”

You crack a laugh at him before you finally nod. “Alright, I’ll go on the wine tasting tour with you.”

“Thank you.” He smiles at his phone screen. “I’ll come by this afternoon and we’ll be picked up from your place.”

Namjoon heard about this tour from one of the cabin crew earlier this week, and he’s been wanting to go since then and he wanted to go with you, he’s itching to show you off in public even when he still can’t and you two aren’t even labeled yet.

He enjoys your company so much, and he knows you do too, he can be himself around you and he knows he won’t be judged.

“Okay.” You yawn and snuggle into your blanket, still sleepy. “Can I get back to sleep?”

His lips curve into a little smile when he admires how cute you look when you’re tired and sleepy, he’s admiring your face for too long that he even forgot to answer you. “Namjoon?” You ask, which snaps him out of his thoughts. “Yeah, alright. I’ll see you later.”

You nod before you wave your hand to him, he waves back and finally ends the call and you go back to sleep.

Namjoon on the other hand, finishes booking for the tour while he’s taking the last few puffs of his cigarettes before his phone starts to glitch, it seems to be that there are two people calling him at the same time, and it’s his father and father in law, which makes him panic for a second.

Of course he decides to ignore his father in law’s call and call back his own father. “Dad?”

His father’s voice tone full of worry when speaks. “Namjoon? What’s the matter? Is it true what they’re talking about?”

Namjoon is completely clueless that everyone knows of the divorce now, he’s even clueless that his wife got the papers. “What are you talking about?”

“The divorce? Is it really happening?” He asks, and Namjoon doesn’t hesitate for a second to answer. “Yes dad, I made that decision on my own.”

“You two were incredible together, what’s the matter?” That makes Namjoon scoff, “Are you sure we can’t work things out?”

“No dad, nothing can fix this.” Namjoon swallows the dry lump in his throat, he regrets the years he spent with his wife, he wishes he can just erase that chapter from his life because it did engrave a type of trauma into him.

His father is in denial and so is his father in law, everything seemed to be okay to them, but they never saw anything behind closed doors.

“Please tell him to never contact me, and if he has anything to say, tell him to save it until the day of the hearing.” Namjoon says with a solid tone, not willing to negotiate the entire thing what so ever.

“When’s your hearing?” His father asks and Namjoon answers. “September 12th.”

An audible sigh escapes his father’s mouth. “But son, that’s your birthday.”

“I know, and I got everything under control dad, don’t worry.” Namjoon’s stomach drops when he speaks of the hearing, he feels extremely anxious and  impatiient.

He’s confident that after going through this difficult and challenging experience, he will be starting fresh and new that day.

He cannot wait to feel reborn.

[lovieku]

GOOD LUCK, BABE! #3 ⋆ 정국

what happens when you leave everything behind, only to be faced with it again years later? eunbi is convinced she was given another shot at keeping all she ever wanted, but it’s difficult when that all is her childhood best friend who doesn’t want to do anything with her anymore. how to earn his trust back?

☾ pairing: non idol!jk x fem!oc

☾ genre: childhood friends to strangers, friends to lovers, angst, fluff, smut

☾ word count: 9k +

☾ warnings: explicit language. say hi to eunbi!!! and to the friend group!!! its a bit funny until it becomes angsty … ouch. jeongguk is a bitch lowkey. pun unintended (you’ll see). theyre dramatic as hell. like bro it cant be that serious 😭. im sawrry for this. and its not all!!! see you in fourth chapter 🫡

☾ author’s note: hi hi hi!!! this took a bit to fully convince me but in the end it did. i was frustrated because i felt like i couldnt really use my words properly to tell the whole thing but… here we are now!!! thank u!!! enjoy 🫶🏻

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three ⋆ this is me trying

Up to that point, Eunbi’s life has been a constant adjusting to new surroundings, leaving bits and pieces behind, getting attached to new ones, and hoping they wouldn’t be taken away from her. It would always end up as she feared it would, though. From as early as she can remember, Eunbi would live off her blue backpack, where she gathered a toothbrush, a change of clothes and her favourite plushie to help her sleep and adapt faster to the smaller bed at her dad’s house. When her parents had divorced, it had been a rough patch before the both of them could come to a legal agreement; that being, she would spend the weekend with her father, and then stay with her mother again until Friday rolled around.

She rarely looks back at those days now, but when she does — mostly at night, her mind seemingly incapable of putting a stop to her furious flow of thoughts and just sleep — she thinks if it hadn’t happened to her when she was still pliable and mouldable, when she was yet to be met with what ordinariness was supposed to look like for others, she wouldn’t have been ready to wholly face all that followed. Eunbi was young when she learned that love between two people could end so easily, and her innocent self accepted that as the norm.

As a result, what she found harder to accept, more than her own mother and father not even being able to stand next to one another without ending up quarrelling, was having to leave her small black poodle in Gwangju, with her grandma, after moving away to Busan. Curly (little Eunbi had given him that name for obvious reasons, and to this very day she finds it dumb, but it makes her giggle nonetheless) had been a great companion through the inevitable loneliness she had to face as an only child. She was convinced he could understand her better than no other, even when she would force the tiny creature to sit and listen to her ramble on.

Busan was the next big change that was pushed onto Eunbi, only a few years after her mother got engaged to a man that would soon replace her biological father: with time, sleeping over at his house for the weekend was no longer even a contemplated thought on his side, coming up with excuses after excuses as not to, and that slowly led to showing less and less interest in keeping up with her and meeting up. The little girl had always been numb in relation to such negligence, and because of this she could consider herself lucky in some distorted sense; it didn’t affect her as much as it should have.

Part of that was also due to her step-dad being a great father figure during the initial times of his and her mom’s relationship, making sure to adapt to Eunbi’s pace and boundaries, never overstepping while also being able to bring fun into her life by taking the family out to visit places and eat delicious meals. What he couldn’t do for her, however, was live with a dog. When he and her mother decided to finally move together following their wedding, they both agreed on wanting to restart from a brand new place. Busan was their perfect pick for a variety of reasons: her mom got offered a job at a recently established company that seemed promising, and her step-dad could fulfil his deep-rooted dream of expanding his by starting a new branch.

Every single thing about him seemed perfect to her mom’s eyes, even if he was apparently deathly allergic to dog’s fur. And, of course, she picked her husband over Curly. Eunbi couldn’t believe it, nor accept it. The girl cried over the small dog for the two weeks prior to moving, during the trip to Busan, and for the following days there. Her grandmother would keep her updated by sending pictures of Curly through email, and even after the scar had healed, those would never fail to make her tear up.

As shameful as it might be to admit it, after having dried herself from half the water that made up her body because of the constant crying, it didn’t take long for the scar to close. When she first stepped foot in the big city by the seaside, Curly showed up right in front of her. Just in human form. Big eyes, long black hair and puppy manners, her neighbour was definitely sent to her by something greater. Eunbi was obsessed. It didn’t show at first, her pride prevailing. But it was harder and harder to fight against it. Jeongguk was simply too easy to love.

They became inseparable. Wherever he was, better believe she was there too, attached at his hip. And if they showed up alone, people would naturally ask about the other. Because the moon is never seen without its stars, and sunflowers only ever turn to face the sun. Their bond could be perceived by anyone as unbreakable, a friendship to envy and wish for, and every brick that built it had resulted in the creation of their own safe haven that only had space to contain the two of them. Not anybody else could be let in, the bubble exclusively recognised their password. It wasn’t composed of words, or numbers. It was the look of understanding they would share; the white lies used to cover the mischief of the other; their own handshake, accompanied by an original friendship jingle that Eunbi came up with randomly; the assurance that they could reveal their biggest secrets to one another, and they’d be kept like an oath.

There’s many of those that Eunbi shamelessly revealed to Jeongguk, some with intent and others unleashed spontaneously during their many endless talks. But when she thinks of it, she never admitted the single one that really mattered, the one that her best friend in the whole world needed to know, and remember. At all times. In any circumstance. It wasn’t a secret, it was more a result of her pondering; it came to a full reasonable thought only years later, and by then it was too late to tell him.

Eunbi thinks, and she’s sure, Jeongguk was the reason why all that came before the two of them had to happen. If it didn’t, she would have spent her whole life looking for that missing puzzle piece: under the cushions of the couch, in between her bed sheets, accidentally thrown away in the bin. It was as if all the hardships she experienced were justified, because at the end of the tunnel Jeongguk was waiting for her. And everything finally made sense. The puzzle was complete. Jeongguk was the reason himself. He was sent to teach her an important lesson: everything happens for a reason. There’s a cause and an effect, and even if the cause was suffering, at least the effect was her favourite boy.

Then, a gust of wind had wiped the puzzle to the ground, every single piece losing its place. When her best friend was taken away from her, she stopped being so convinced with the thought she herself had harboured, because she suddenly couldn’t find the meaning behind such a cruel fate. If everything really happened for a reason, then what was it? Jeongguk helped her see colours, only to return to black and white. Leaving him behind had marked the death of a version of herself that she would never get back.

Seoul was big, and harder to adjust to, even more with the baggage she was now dragging behind. Unpacking it, she found out all she had brought with her was a shattered trust and a soon to be broken promise to never get attached again. It was hard to be faithful to such an imposition, when Eunbi was born to give out love. It was hidden in that luggage, in between fears and regrets, but surely present.

And it prevailed in the end. Even at a slower pace, love found its way up and helped a lost Eunbi navigate the big capital city, promising new beginnings and healing. She found that in the faces of people that she would then start to recognise as friends, inside warm cafes during the coldest days of winter, and in the certainty that no matter where she is, she is always looking up at the same moon.

What she has built in Seoul so far feels the closest to stability that she has experienced in years. Starting university and meeting Dahye was the last bit of convincing it took to make her consider once again that a reason could exist, and that in the end it would make sense. Maybe not totally. Maybe just partly is enough after all.

Until, seeing a pair of familiar starry eyes in the midst of dull ones was all she needed to firmly believe in what she had been finding hard to accept. It took one shared look for past and present to get blurred together, and the mixture of old with new feelings created a mess. It was nice, nonetheless. Better than the seemingly impossible to get rid of emptiness at the pit of her heart.

Behind her eyes, Eunbi could see the puzzle slowly reaching its final form again, this time with more missing pieces, but the image was at least recognisable. When Jeongguk showed up in front of her again like magic, she contemplated becoming religious. Getting to her knees and starting praying to whatever greater force was shining on her path to please keep doing that. None of that showed on the outside, her smile breaking and mirroring the expression on the boy’s face. Pure sorrow. She knew she was probably the last person on earth Jeongguk wanted to see, and the fact that he wasn’t even trying to mask it didn’t help.

The most rational response she could come up with at that moment was to act as if nothing ever happened. And then, the bricks that a long time ago held together their safe bubble were being used by the boy to raise a high wall between them, making sure accessing his space would be impossible for Eunbi. Who could blame him? Still, the happiness she shamelessly felt when Jeongguk showed up at her 20th birthday party was too consuming, she selfishly wished for the rest of her birthdays to always look like that as she blew the candles. Nonetheless, when he suddenly left sprinting on his bike she knew the gods would need time to grant her desire. Although, this time around she had faith.

She doesn’t know how long it would take for it to break, though. September getting closer and closer only means that Jeongguk’s birthday is just around the corner. As part of his friend group, she had been involved in the process that led to organising the surprise camping trip, even if she didn’t exactly participate. After all, she doesn’t get to say she knows the boy better than anyone, anymore. Jeongguk has evidently changed, and as a consequence she knows way less about him than the others.

For that exact reason, Eunbi had made various attempts to back down from the trip, fearing her presence could significantly ruin it for the celebrated boy. At first, she tried to be casual about it with Dahye, since she’s the only one she’s opened up to about the whole dilemma, “I think it’s better if I don’t come. After all, it’s a friend trip. I’m not really his friend.” To which her roommate only replied with bullshit, proceeding to type away on her keyboard. That did not help whatsoever.

Then, the night she was too tipsy to take a taxi back home and Jeongguk had offered her a ride on his bike, she came home with a smile on her face only to burst out crying in front of a just as drunk Dahye. In between sobs, she begged to be left out of the trip, “Ple- Please, Dahye. He hates me. I can’t stand it.” Her friend tried to shush her whines, pushing Eunbi’s head on her chest and consoling her, “He doesn’t, baby. I’m sure he doesn’t.”

As a result of that night, Dahye had then sat her friend down with the intent of fully convincing her to be present for Jeongguk’s birthday trip for a number of reasons, “It would be rude to not show up after he was there for your birthday. And also, what if you two end up talking about… things! And everything gets solved! That would be nice, wouldn’t it, Bibi?”

Eunbi had just nodded all the way through the motivating speech, not really understanding nor believing her words, but apparently they were enough to lead her to the present moment: awkwardly squished between Dahye and Jimin on the couch of her flat, while they animatedly converse with the others to approve on the trip schedule. She has never felt so out of place before, not only because she doesn’t feel like she has a say in the whole discussion, but also because as time went by the two friends by her side kept shifting to subtly get closer to one another, not realising they were compressing her body in the process. To the point she is forced to get up, the position she was in being too uncomfortable, and sit on the ground under the couch next to Namjoon.

She can feel her movements being followed by a pair of curious eyes, and when she looks up to meet them, she finds out they belong to the origin of all her worries. Before Jeongguk can divert his attention elsewhere, aware he was caught observing, she gives him a quick tight lipped smile. It goes dismissed, as if it hadn’t happened. Ouch. It’s okay, Eunbi can take it. She used the few days prior to this to mentally prepare. She knows she’s not exactly welcomed anywhere near him, that’s why she made a silent secret pact within herself: whatever happens during the trip, don’t be a bother to Jeongguk. Stay away from him as much as possible, and if not possible, then do anything to avoid putting that frown on his face, exactly the one he’s sporting right now. On a second thought, if just looking at her gets him to react like that, maybe it’s best to mentally wipe that off her list of things to keep in mind for Jeongguk’s birthday camping trip.

With there still being a day left before their minibreak takes off, the girl can already tell it’s going to be hard to follow the flow of that list, Jeongguk making it obvious her presence could have been avoided before the vacation has even started. Still, she remains composed and brushes off what had just happened, instead focusing on the main topic of conversation.

The group (Hoseok) has decided to meet to go over the schedule one last time because, “Everything needs to be perfect, guys. We can’t afford to slip!” It’s still Hoseok talking. Eunbi learned that he had always been the one in charge of organising events and little getaways when it came to the friend group, his obsession with keeping everything under control coming in handy in such scenarios.

Not only that, but the reddish haired guy is also amazingly quick on his feet, and in a relatively short amount of time he has managed to find the perfect excursions and experiences to go over during the trip, making sure every day spent together would be filled with fun activities that he knows the birthday boy is going to look forward to. In between what he has arranged there is cycling, canoeing, trekking, and more stuff that Eunbi can’t keep up with. Surviving this is going to be made ten times harder by the amount of energy that is going to be expected out of her. She sighs at the thought, looking down at her manicured nails. She just got them done, and now they would surely break.

It takes a few seconds for her to realise the sudden silence that fell above the room, and when she looks back up she’s met with eleven pairs of eyes staring at her. She straightens her posture, suddenly too aware of being perceived, and she deduces her previous exhale had been released with more energy than intended. Hoseok sweetly smiles at her, “Anything you don’t agree on, Eunbi?”

The panicked girl opens her mouth to justify herself, her eyes getting wider and shinier with embarrassment, but Dahye beats her to it, “Bibi, didn’t you say you, like, hate cycling? I’m sure we had a whole conversation about it.“

Eunbi is mortified. Her eyes jump from Dahye to Jeongguk, trying to get her best friend to shut up while also registering the boy’s scoff and muted roll of his eyes. Oh god. Her whole be-lowkey-and-make-yourself-unnoticed plan just shattered in a matter of seconds. She can feel Jeongguk’s eyes bore flaming holes into her skull, his arms crossed and his legs furtherly stretching out on the armchair. If she still had a small, tiny hope left that he didn’t fully hate her, she just witnessed that shattering in pieces too.

She quickly shifts to sit on her heels, her hands frantically shaking to try and save her face for what she could, “No, what? I love cycling. Seriously, I’d do it everyday if I could.” She chuckles shakily while subtly shoving Dahye’s knee next to her to signal going with the lie. At first, Dahye looks clearly confused: she was so sure of that information about her roommate. She furrows her brows, looking down at a panicky Eunbi widening her eyes. It takes only a few more seconds for her to suddenly get it, shaking herself from her doubts and catching the ball, “Oh, right! You do! I got it confused with, huh… something else.” The girl mutters that last part only to join her friend in a nervous laugh, and an apologetic smile. Best believe Dahye is going to hear about this later.

Hoseok looks just as puzzled as the others, but nonetheless he nods, announcing the schedule has been officially confirmed. A collective acclaim fills the room, only for the boy to stop it with a raise of his pointer finger, “Now, I will assign you guys in your respective cars.” Which is comically followed by a joint groan, and some protests. Hoseok ignores them, and goes on reading off his perfectly planned out Word document.

”Namjoon is the first driver, and he’s travelling with Iseul, Seokjin and Sora,” he looks up to briefly check with the mentioned members to see if there are any complaints, then proceeds. “We’ve got Yoongi with me, Aera and Taehyung. Then…” Hoseok squints his eyes while scrolling down the document, and those few seconds of silence are enough for Eunbi’s thoughts to anticipate what is about to follow. She lowers her head, unwilling to meet Jeongguk’s glare when Hoseok says, “Jeongguk is driving with Jimin, Dahye and Eunbi. All set?”

The positive response is quick, even too rushed and disregardful of what was said, as Namjoon and Taehyung have been impatiently begging for the never-ending organising to be over so they could order food and finally fill their starved stomachs. No one pays any mind to it, but Eunbi and Jeongguk stay quiet, while Jimin and Dahye share a knowing look. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

The evening is spent in the cramped living room of Eunbi and Dahye’s shared flat, eating pizza and letting a random movie play, which soon only functioned as a background noise the moment Taehyung started a game of Would You Rather. Even if Yoongi initially shushed him, everyone eventually became more delighted with Seokjin’s unthinkable suggestions than with the film, “Would you rather be trapped in a small room with 10,000 tarantulas for 10 minutes, or eat 10 tarantulas in 10 minutes?”

Eunbi tries to let herself be distracted by the content smiles on her friends’ faces, even feels less distressed when she notices Jeongguk relaxing as well, but that doesn’t stop her mind from overflowing with all the things that could potentially go wrong. It inevitably shows on her face, and in her unusual quietness. She has been pondering on the last information Hoseok had shared about the confirmed schedule for hours now, worrying it was going to start the trip on the wrong foot. There were all the best intentions to not poke the sleeping bear, but she fears being in the same car as him is going to stir him awake.

After the group leaves the apartment at past 1 a.m., Hoseok checking with everyone that they’ll show up at 8 sharp tomorrow morning in front of the same building they’re now parting ways from, Eunbi releases a long sigh as she closes the door behind her shoulders. Dahye catches the look on her features immediately, taking her pretty face in between her palms, “I’m sorry for earlier. I was trying to help.” She pouts, and it makes the shorter girl chuckle.

Eunbi shakes her head, dismissing her apology with a small it’s okay, and freeing herself from her friend’s hold so as to avoid meeting her eyes, instead busying herself with tidying up the mess in the living room. Her flatmate looks at the strangely silent girl narrowly, “What are you thinking? Please, don’t let it be something stupid like I don’t wanna drive in Jeongguk’s car.”

When all Dahye is met with is silence, she knows that specific something stupid is flowing in the other girl’s head. Eunbi spends the next hour packing and letting Dahye think she’s wholly convincing her distressed roommate nothing could go wrong from just being close to each other, and if anything, it could be a starting point.

For the sake of getting at least three hours of sleep before the long drive ahead, Eunbi fake promises her friend that she won’t let such thoughts haunt her mind and stop her from enjoying the holiday (she was forced to repeat those exact words) knowing she’s going to let them do precisely that. She also ends up staying awake all night either way, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse that she can use to ask Hoseok if a small change would be possible, hoping it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to him and his perfect plan.

When the following morning rolls around, the group gathers in the courtyard of the flat complex as instructed hours earlier by Hoseok, who looks like he’s on the verge of a serious crisis when it’s one minute past 8 a.m. and Taehyung still hasn’t shown up. Eunbi fears for her life when she taps his shoulder as delicately as she can, still unable to avoid a jumpy reaction from the boy, who then relaxes when he sees the girl’s sweet smile. That lasts for about one second, because when Eunbi softly asks him if they can talk he’s back to puffing out panicky breaths.

She hesitates a moment before uttering in one single exhale, “I’d rather not go in Jeongguk’s car.” Faced with Hoseok’s perplexed stare, she goes on explaining in a rushed, messy speech, “It’s nothing personal, really. It’s just- Iseul! Yeah, Iseul begged me to be in the car with Dahye… She doesn’t know Sora that well so she said it would be way too awkward. I can go with Namjoon!” She ends it by trying to sport a convincing grin on her lips, but with the way it looks like she’s being held at gunpoint to smile it’s doing the exact opposite, not helping in hiding her own panic at all.

Hoseok takes a few seconds to process her request and read her expression, but in the end he just shrugs and nods enthusiastically, “That’s okay!” He then claps his hands twice, recalling the others’ attention who comically snap their heads in unison, hanging on the boss’ lips, “Tiny change. Eunbi doesn’t wanna be in Jeongguk’s car, so she’s going with Namjoon.”

For the second time in under 24 hours, Eunbi is so embarrassed she prays the ground to swallow her whole. Hoseok doesn’t seem to be making a big deal out of the way he worded his announcement, busy typing away on his phone, probably updating his Word document with the recent change. The others don’t look too fazed either, accustomed with the two infamously not being too fond of each other for no apparent reason, except for Dahye and Jimin: the former is looking at the girl incredulously; the latter has shifted his attention to his best friend.

Eunbi can feel cold sweat dripping down her forehead, the weight of the world crushing on her shoulders. She’s afraid to follow Jimin’s line of vision, but as she slowly does, it leads her to meet Jeongguk’s intense gaze, a slight pissed scowl hardening his features along with his brows almost meeting at the bridge of his nose. His all black attire composed of an oversized t-shirt, cargo bermuda shorts and chunky sandals matches perfectly with the look on his face. He seems confused, and unnerved. And sad? This is not how things were supposed to unfold.

Under such pressure, the girl impulsively releases a nervous laugh, her whole face red with awkwardness, “It’s not like I didn’t- Okay! I’ll just go wait in the car.” Her head hangs as she distances herself from the group, finding an escape from Jeongguk’s disappointment in Namjoon’s car. She bangs her head on the dashboard a few times, making the most of the last minutes alone she’s getting before departure.

Starring in that shitshow was not on her list of things to keep in mind for Jeongguk’s birthday camping trip in any way. On the contrary, what she has been trying to do is going by the rules of the list itself: stay away from Jeongguk and don’t be a bother. Instead, the opposite seems to be happening every time she attempts to be nice to him so as to not be a hassle during the trip. Releasing a shaky breath, she hopes her intentions wouldn’t be misinterpreted by the boy, as she tries foolishly convincing herself the telepathy between them still exists, at least to a small extent. She was only doing this for him. To make it easier for him. Please, please send this telepathic message to Jeongguk.

Connection probably isn’t working too well, because when they all get to the destination after a fairly long ride, Jeongguk still looks pissed, shutting the car door with more energy than required and unloading the luggages, taking his and Iseul’s to the entrance of the camping site. Eunbi narrows her eyes as she observes the scene, the short haired girl thanking the previously annoyed boy and effortlessly putting a smile on his lips, and she almost doesn’t notice Namjoon urging her to move. She abruptly shakes herself out of that trance, relaxing her hands that had subconsciously closed into fists, and takes her bags out of the car. As she clumsily drags them on both of her shoulders, her Converses do little to protect her soles from the rocky ground, and she groans. It’s not like she was expecting Namjoon to carry her baggage, she can do it herself. But as she keeps watching Jeongguk easily handling all that weight, she huffs.

The campsite looks amazing. The space that the group has at their disposal is huge and wholly surrounded by nature, making it the perfect getaway from the chaos of the city. Not too far, in between trees, a glimpse of the sun reflecting its rays in a large lake can be caught. Eunbi witnesses an excellently carried out jam session, with the lively enthusiasm of her friends on microphone, birds on percussion and cicadas on bass. She smiles, and sighs contentedly. Dahye’s words from last night echo in her head, don’t let this stop you from enjoying the holiday, and today she wants to believe them. She’s glad she chose to wear jeans shorts instead of cargos, the heat slowly but surely rising, and a flowy white top that keeps her fresh, for now.

Hoseok instructs them to get to work, and they do. All their bags are gathered under a big ancient tree as each couple and trio starts (tries) setting their tents. While they’re busy figuring out how to ensure the tent won’t fly away, which Taehyung fears particularly, Jimin and Jeongguk offer themselves to go and fill everyone’s water flask at a nearby drinking fountain they had found. Eunbi kneels down to fish hers out of a blue backpack and goes to hand it out to Jeongguk, who’s collecting Dahye’s bottle. The boy smiles at her friend, but it gets wiped off when he shifts his gaze on Eunbi’s shorter figure. The moment is brief, and awkward: her big unsure eyes stare into his hardened ones, arm extended out to him, wondering if there might be something funny on her face for him to turn so serious; she hesitantly lifts her brows, waiting for something; Jeongguk looks her up and down, only to not acknowledge her water flask, and just walks past her.

Eunbi is dumbfounded, the tip of her ears reddening as she remains paralysed with her hand out, even after Jimin collects her flask, muttering something close to Don’t mind him, please accompanied by an apologetic smile. She regains consciousness of her surroundings only when, beside her, Dahye can’t help the snort coming out of her mouth, trying but failing to save it with her hand. The still shocked girl slowly turns to face her amused friend, mouth slightly agape and left eye clearly twitching, “Did he just… act as if I don’t exist.”

The situation shouldn’t be funny, but to Dahye it’s the peak of comedy as she keeps giggling the more the slow realisation of what has just happened shows on Eunbi’s features. Obviously, the latter can’t find one single reason to laugh about it, whining while the taller girl pats her shoulder, still smiling, “You really need to talk to him.”

The targeted girl ignores that, biting her nails nervously, ”Was he saying anything about… me, in the car?”

Dahye lifts her brows, shaking her head, ”Nothing. He’s probably talking shit about you with Jimin, though.” Eunbi follows her pointed finger and catches Jeongguk animatedly discussing with his flatmate, balancing the bottles in his arms, before they turn a corner. Eunbi fusses, lightly tugging on her braided pigtails, and she feels helpless as even the friend who’s supposed to be supporting her through all of this is chuckling at her. Despite being shorter, when Eunbi shoves Dahye’s shoulder she manages to make her stumble, but that doesn’t stop her laughs, though.

”You’re building the tent on your own.” Arms crossed and pout on, Eunbi isn’t joking as she goes to sit under the tree surrounded by bags and ignores her name being called out. Rather than reacting to it, she spots tiny bugs between the grass and inspects them for a while, pretending it keeps her distracted from what’s plaguing her mind. Soon after, with her knees to her chest, watching those ants working to transfer food from one side to the other inevitably gets her lost in her thoughts. What is she doing wrong? There’s clearly unresolved problems between her and the boy who brutally ignored her existence minutes ago, but she thought maybe if she started seeking for truce, then he would too. His response, instead, makes her realise no matter how much she tries, it’s apparently not enough to mend what happened all those years ago. She messed up worse than imagined.

The constant pondering makes her lose track of time, and she comes back to reality with undesired outcomes that she convinces herself to be true. When she recovers from the (as she has deduced, deserved) humiliation, Dahye has already set up half of the tent and Eunbi walks over to her bashfully, “Sorry for being childish. I’ll finish this, Hye.” The girl just smiles softly and nods, sending her a flying kiss that makes Eunbi chuckle before taking her previous spot under the tree. At least Dahye doesn’t hate her.

It takes her a while to figure out what to do but she soon grasps how hard a seemingly simple task can be, feeling bad for letting Dahye do a great part of it on her own. Still, she needs to work fast as lunch time is approaching, and everybody around her is almost finished. She has been crouching on a particular spot on the ground for a while now, trying to properly secure an angle of the tent unsuccessfully. Until she groans exasperated, puffing her hair out of her vision and lifting her body up to find a solution. She tries stomping on it a few times, but it doesn’t work, and if anything it worsens the situation. Huffing out, with her hands on her hips she looks around for help, and the first person her eyes fall on is Jeongguk.

He was already staring at her, comfortably sitting on a deckchair with his legs spread and sunglasses on. His tent looks perfectly set already, with Jimin seemingly fixing the inside of it. His hand is covering his mouth before he uses it to lift his glasses over his head, and is that a smirk? They both stare at each other in silence, Eunbi still struggling to breathe, and she hesitates slightly until her eagerness to be over with the tent becomes stronger. She speaks up to make herself heard over the small distance, “Can you- help me?”

Jeongguk narrows her eyes at her, initially not answering but not even moving from his relaxed position. The girl is ready to be met with silence again, but it’s something worse when he opens his mouth, “I think Namjoon would be happy to do that.” He’s as stern as ever as he returns the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, furtherly spreading his whole body on the chair and facing the sun. Only then, he releases a content sigh, smiling slightly.

All of this cannot be real. What does that even mean? Eunbi can feel her eye start to twitch again and she needs to clench her jaw to stop it. It’s okay. Breathe. She unexpectedly but successfully manages to hold herself from exploding on him, both overwhelmed with tent building and frustrated with his behaviour. She can’t really decipher what led him to not only act cold, as he usually is with her, which is fine, but also mean! But no problem, she’ll try once again. It costs nothing to be nice. And she tells herself she’ll stay that way, even if she’s met with the opposite, until he breaks.

The storm of negative emotions tormenting her thoughts can be distortedly seen as a good thing on one side, if she considers that the sudden adrenaline flowing in her body gets her through most of the task without any help, even mindlessly, while she keeps reflecting on the interaction and the previous ones. Why the fuck would Namjoon be happy to help her? Well, he would, he’s naturally a helper, but why did Jeongguk say that? Is he really that pissed about her going in his car? She tries to understand, she really does. Keep being nice is what she tells herself instead.

When the tent is finally up, only with Dahye’s finishing touches, and food is finally in her stomach, refilling her energy tank, it’s like there’s a switch going off in her head, making it seem as if nothing bad has ever happened. Eunbi is back to her talkative self with a full tummy and a bashful grin while her best friend teases her for the earlier tantrum she went on about, but at least it’s all smiles again.

The first day at the campsite is spent basking in the slowness that follows after ticking off the only two activities planned for today on Hoseok’s schedule: setting their tents and preparing meals for lunch and dinner. The boss then instructs the group on just getting acquainted with their surroundings, and they don’t need to be told twice, making the most out of those short remaining moments of ease.

The rest of those hours are used to laze by the huge lake, in between swims and sunbathes. Luckily, Eunbi had packed a few bikinis and she chose to wear a black set, its laces meeting at the back with a bow. Sitting back and taking it easy, before all that she will be faced with the next few days, gives her a chance to get closer to the others. During the earlier drive, she had the opportunity to chat with Sora and discover the sweetheart she truly is, and the car was then easily filled with laughter, mostly provided by Namjoon and Seokjin’s terrible jokes. She now sits by Sora on a beach towel, all the other girls in a circle catching up and laying by the sun. In the back of their gossip session, the boys could be heard laughing and squealing, and the sound reminded Eunbi of sweet childhood. She briefly shifts her attention to them and smiles when she observes how they’re doing the most to tire their energy out, from using a rope hanging by the branch of a tree to leap into the water, to initiating a volleyball match using one of their rolled up towels.

Eunbi grows even fonder than before of the people she’s surrounded with, the earlier stress leaving her body and being replaced by serenity, a small sigh released from her lips before she returns to listen to the girls’ chat. She laughs at something Dahye says and jumps on it excitedly, making the others chuckle at the two friends eagerly recounting one of their craziest uni experiences so far.

All of it is short lived when Taehyung and Jimin suddenly drop a water balloon over their heads, a collective gasp filling the space followed by the two boys’ childish giggles and Dahye’s screams, getting up to run after them. They all spend the rest of the afternoon trying to get back at each other with more pranks, bathing in the lake’s cold water and taking silly group pictures to seal the day. As the sun begins to set, they all sit on their towels and silently observe nature, definitely too tired to speak, and preferring to savour the sweet moment.

When the sun finally leaves its place for the moon to rise and the group of friends gets back to their tents, their stomachs growling signal it’s time for dinner. They take turns to shower using the nearby public structure and then help setting a campfire to cook. It also works as a very needed source of heat, given the temperature has significantly dropped and their bodies are still humid from washing up. Eunbi wears the grey cargos she had discarded earlier this morning when deciding on what to put on, and a white tee, her damp hair falling on her shoulders and making her feel slightly chilly. She comes up beside Yoongi to help him with the meat, benefiting from the warmth of the fire.

There’s not much talk between the two, only the older boy advising her to be careful of the flames every two minutes, but it’s comfortable. Eunbi still has a hard time reading through Yoongi, and maybe it’s what she enjoys the most about him: his aura is soothing and it exudes security. He doesn’t exactly show it, but he’s deeply attentive and caring of his friends, and the girl feels safe next to him. She can sense him looking over at her while the meat is cooking, and as she turns to him she meets his eyes with a smile. He ponders, scanning her face “You got sunburnt. You need to wear sunscreen tomorrow, or it’ll get worse.”

Eunbi chuckles, dragging her pointer finger up and down her red nose, “Yeah, I know. It kinda hurts but it looks like I have natural blush now!”

Yoongi shakes his head with a small amused scoff, “That’s stupid, Eunbi. Wait for me here, I’ll go get you an after-sun cream.” And even as he walks off, he reminds her to not stay too close to the fire. She thinks that’s an exact demonstration of what the boy is truly like in her head.

The girl keeps grilling the meat, humming unknown melodies under her breath, and she almost misses a broad figure sitting on one of the chairs surrounding the fire. When she looks up, it’s Jeongguk avoiding her eyes and instead staring at the flames, their light reflecting in his big orbs and making them shinier. He wears his bermudas from earlier, but he now has a grey Stussy hoodie on top of it. His locks are still wet after freshly coming out of a shower, and they curl on his forehead, making him look like a poodle. She smiles. It’s like 15 years old Jeongguk is there with her again, his bare, exhausted face and droopy eyes taking her back to Busan. Without even realising what she’s doing, she extends a cooked piece of meat his way, “You want some?”

Startled, the boy breaks from his spacing-out and registers the request. He looks between Eunbi and the meat, gulping. He licks his lips, and she swears she can also hear his stomach rumbling. When he keeps ogling the food without replying, she wiggles the fork and his eyes follow its every movement, as if hypnotised. Then, he suddenly screws his eyelids shut and breaks from the trance, simply shaking his head no and fishing his phone out of his pocket, mindlessly scrolling on it. Just like that, she’s back to the present, and Jeongguk hates her. Eunbi narrowly glares at him while he can’t see her.

Yoongi comes back soon after with two different creams in his hands, and he gives them to Eunbi with a chuckle. She thanks him and lets him take over the cooking, while she curiously inspects the products, still standing next to the fire. When Yoongi spots his younger friend on the chair, he asks the same exact question as her, forking a piece of meat, “You want some?”

Jeongguk’s attention is back up, this time on Yoongi, and when he sees what his hyung is referring to he eagerly nods. Eunbi interrupts her examination just in time to see the boy hungrily shoving the food in his mouth, brows furrowed and praising noises accompanying his munching, making the older friend by her side chuckle. Instead, the girl is once again in disbelief, even more as he watches Jeongguk patting his knee with force, satisfied with the bite, “Hyung, this shit is so good. I want more.”

Eunbi scoffs imperceptibly, leaving the scene with an annoyed scowl wrecking her pretty features. As she enters her tent, she’s glad Dahye is still showering as she makes the most of that isolating moment. She sighs wearily and whips out her phone. Using its camera, she tries to ignore her tumbling emotions and instead puts on the creams Yoongi had given her, but not even those are enough to distract her. She’s still incredulous at what she’s being put through, her patience wearing thin, and the pact she made with herself before coming here is dangerously close to being broken.

Dinner is spent with good food and even better people, and only then Eunbi visibly untenses again. In between bites and full mouths, they go from discussing random facts to casually engaging in games of Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever, the beer bottles slowly being emptied while their tummies get filled. When they’re done eating, the relaxed smiles on their faces implicitly communicate how the meal has been the perfect ending to the lovely day spent together. Still, they stay by the fire and keep up an effortless chat. When one of them comments on the limpidity of the sky, its stars being perfectly visible in this zone of Seoul, they all look up and stare in silence at the fullness of the lights.

Even if it’s not too late, the weariness from being out in the sun for multiple consecutive hours is weightening down on most of them, Seokjin and Sora retiring to their tents, soon after being followed by Yoongi and Hoseok.

It’s a little past midnight, and Eunbi starts to feel more and more affected by the cool breeze, its effects showing on her prickled skin. She tries to warm herself up by rubbing her exposed arms with her hands, but it’s to no avail, “God, I’m so cold.”

A collective agreement follows her claim, with Iseul speaking up and curling herself into a ball on the deckchair she’s sitting on by taking her legs up to her chest and hugging them close, “Me too, it’s freezing.”

”Oh, I have a spare hoodie.” Both girls snap their heads at the voice, which belongs to Jeongguk. However, as he quickly gets up to retrieve the sweater from his tent, it’s not clear who between the two he’s referring to, their curious expectant eyes following his every movement. Eunbi has her reasons to feel so eager, given the fact that she has been begging for one nice interaction with the boy, a spark of hope lighting up in her chest at his offer. On the other hand, she doesn’t know why the other girl seems equally excited, twirling her short hair around her fingers as she waits for Jeongguk to come out of the tent again. She huffs, a pout ending on her features.

When the sought-after boy gets back with a blueish crewneck in his arms, both girls hold their breaths, the sudden tension going unnoticed by the others (except for Dahye, she’s like a psychic when it comes to her best friend’s emotions), until Jeongguk lays the piece of clothing on Iseul’s shoulders, coming behind her and then sitting on his chair again.

Iseul bashfully thanks him, the tips of her ears seemingly reddening while a sweet, alluring smile makes its way on her lips. Eunbi scoffs at that, and if looks could kill Iseul would be dead right now. The dirty look she sends her way luckily goes unnoticed, and she keeps hugging her own body trying to provide herself with warmth. When she shifts her attention to Jeongguk, he’s already looking at her, smirking. She can’t be convinced he isn’t doing all this on purpose.

Even with her teeth almost chattering, the neglected girl forces herself to stay with the others until the end, and with Namjoon and Taehyung retiring to sleep only six of them remain. Under a white full moon, the conversation doesn’t really follow a clear direction, steering from existential questions that none really have the answers to, to Jimin’s drunken adventures. Jeongguk giddily joins the recounting and adds many details to it, specifically highlighting the embarrassing parts that his roommate is trying to omit to save face, and making all of his friends laugh with their whole chest, Eunbi included. She simply can’t ignore the fact that he’s naturally charming, and hilarious as well. In the middle of his storytelling, his whole body gets involved and it makes the events seem even more impressive. Eunbi smiles when she compares the Jeongguk in front of her to the beloved one in her past, the one that would sit her down and force her to keep up with his running imagination, constantly up with new ideas for silly scripts.

Then it’s Dahye’s turn to share one of her experiences, and Eunbi inevitably gets thrown into the tale, which had seen the two friends drunkenly sneaking themselves into a concert. It’s like they’re perfectly mirroring Jimin and Jeongguk’s dynamic, because while Dahye is trying to leave out critical parts of the story, Eunbi strongly insists on specifying them with an unseen emphasis for 1 a.m., causing everybody to laugh along. In between chuckles, her eyes fall on Jeongguk, who is mindlessly scrolling on his phone and seemingly not paying attention. Throughout the recounting, she notices Jeongguk distractly listening but never laughing, and if he does it’s only after something said by Dahye. Slowly, the enthusiasm gets wiped off her face as she curls up on the chair, sulkily letting her friend finish telling the story.

Another hour of effortless conversation goes by, and Jeongguk is back to lively chatting again, his animated gestures and witty jokes getting laughter out of his friends, but this time Eunbi doesn’t join. She silently sets on observing the boy, despite being caught a few times. She really wants to understand the reason behind his behaviour, but there’s no factual explanation she can come up with other than the obvious reasons that put them in this situation in the first place. If that’s the case, there’s nothing much she can do other than going up to him and finally talking it out like the mature adults they should be, but with their petty, silent bickering she doesn’t think that’s happening any soon.

While she’s busy squinting her eyes at the boy, in a borderline creepy manner, she doesn’t notice Iseul crouching in half in laughter at something Jeongguk said, until she’s directly referring to her, “Oh god, Eunbi! Why did you never tell me Jeongguk was this funny?” Said girl is startled by the question and by the abrupt interruption that shakes her out of her trance, confusion written on her face and it must be evident with the way Iseul goes on explaining, “Dahye told me you’ve known him for a long time.”

All at once, the atmosphere is tense and maybe Iseul and Aera can’t feel it, but Dahye definitely can as she snaps her head to her friend, who’s staring directly into Jeongguk’s eyes. The two seem to be battling an unnamed war through eye contact, and the intensity of the boy’s gaze ignites something implacable in the girl’s chest, dangerously close to rage, and it has to do with all the feelings she’s had to bottle up in less than 24 hours. She scoffs, referring to Iseul but never breaking the staring contest with the boy, “Oh, is he? Don’t think I’m well acquainted with that side of him yet.”

If the tension wasn’t palpable to everyone before the comment, it surely is now, the only ones that have something left to say being the crickets and owls in the background. Jeongguk only snickers before washing a hand over his face, an unsettling smirk on his lips. He seems to finally acknowledge the other girl’s presence, but it’s not in the way Eunbi initially imagined it would go. Instead, it’s venom spitting out of his mouth, “You would've been if you weren’t so self centred, always wrapped in your own bubble all the fucking time.”

Eunbi's confidence falls as quick as her heart, a sudden force weighing on it and almost crushing it. She’s fast at hiding it, ignoring the slight sting she can sense in the back of her eyelids, her only goal is to shoot harder. She forces the fakest smile she can muster, “Self centred? Are you sure you're talking about me?” The affronted girl scoffs, loud and sarcastic, “Fuck, and I thought you'd know better than that, Jeongguk. You should try getting your head out of your ass and look around. Maybe you'd see how shitty you've been treating all of us-” me “-for these past weeks.”

Jeongguk is visibly taken aback, and it’s his heart falling this time, his face following suit. His broken features do little to hide the doubts plaguing his spiralling mind. Had he pushed it too far? Had he been actually so bad to his own friends? Seeing his contender’s face relaxing with victory makes him snap out of the sudden trance, as he regains consciousness fast. No, he hasn’t. Fuck this. Blinded by anger, he utters the unimaginable, “Speak for yourself when you say shit like that. As far as I'm concerned, I've been treating you fairly seeing the bitch you are.”

His eyes are as pitch as black, the stars in them that Eunbi would love to get lost into are unreachable now, almost as if a dark cloud had obscured them. It must be the pollution that's taking over his heart too.

She’s frozen in place as the cruel words echo in her mind, the force that was keeping her heart underwater had managed to crush it, and it was now coming up her throat, squeezing the air out of her lungs. Her ears ring with the sudden lack of oxygen, and she can only faintly hear Dahye’s raging comments coming in her defence against Jeongguk. She can only seem to focus on the cracking of the fire, though, its thumping noise suddenly unbearable, as she feels more and more engulfed in its flames. She forces all sounds to come back to her, strongly pulling herself out of her own plagued head, the boy in front of her now unrecognisable to her empty eyes.

Looking around, she notices all of her friends — his, after all — had gone extremely quiet, the pressure weighing on them too. She can't stand it, needs to get out. She wishes she had never agreed to this. So much for keeping her peace. Yet, she'll never give him the satisfaction of knowing how much that hurt her. She'll die before crying in front of him.

“Well, if you don't mind, the bitch has had enough now, so with all due respect, she's going to sleep.” With a forced tight lipped smile, she gets up in one fast movement and walks to her tent, leaving the others disoriented, and a still furious Dahye scoffing at Jeongguk. He follows her with his eyes until she disappears in her shelter, clenching his jaw and announcing his departure soon after.

Inside the tent, Eunbi takes several deep breaths trying to calm down, and she feels frail when she can sense her eyes prickle with tears. She tells herself it’s angry ones. Apparently, being nice isn’t enough, and she watches as the seal to her pact shatters with force, signalling no come back. Following suit, the puzzle breaks once again, and she’s left scrambling for the pieces falling, looking for the one that will start it over again. And this time, it’s going to be even harder.

[staytinyville]

Stay Alive (29)

BTS poly!ot7 x Reader

Magical Creatures AU

Series Masterlist

Warnings: smut (MDNI), piv, unprotected sex (we don't do that here),

A/N NOT BETA. YOU GUYS! If you would like to be huge supporters for me check out my KO-FI link in my bio. It will be in my masterlist as well. It would be a huge help not just to support my financial needs but to also help me continue writing.

The boys had called you all to Namjoon bedroom the moment you had arrived at work. You began to worry a bit but went along with their demands. When Jin opened up the door for you, all the boys were waiting for you looking a bit tense.

“What's going on?” You asked, looking around.

“We've come up with something to break free from here.” Hoseok explained to you.

“Tell me!” You gasped, eyes going wide at the prospect of finally being able to take the boys out. “Please, I'll try my best!” You told them.

All the boys let out a breath, almost worried that you wouldn’t be willing to help them. It wasn’t that they didn’t believe in you, it was more of the fact that they were worried about you thinking how this would affect your future. That didn’t seem to be the case though.

“It's a bit complicated and we have to make sure you have all the resources ready for this.” Namjoon grabbed onto your hand. “You will be risking your life as well as the people around you. We want to keep you safe.”

You smiled softly at him, placing a hand on his cheek as you rubbed his skin with your thumb. “Anything.” You told him. “I promise I'll follow everything.”

“The east part is taking us out.” Yoongi spoke from the bed. “However, it's after that we'll have to move quick.” He turned to you. “You're going to lose your job after this, are you sure you want to do this?”

“Saving you and everybody else from eternal abuse over some petty job that–mind you–is doing the abuse?” You spoke up. “A million times over; I have my degree. We'll take down this company for all its horrors.”

The boys looked at each other, giving each other a nod. You were different. Something they waited years for. It was finally time for them to go home.

“Taehyung has the ability to transfigure things—us included.” Hoseok began. “He'll turn us into something that won't be noticeable in your pockets. You'll take us out of the facility once everyone is going home after work.”

“And then?” You asked.

“From there we have until morning before they notice we’re gone.” Jin answered.

You weren’t going to be able to turn up to work the next day if you wanted to get them to safety as quickly as possible. The only thing that left you unsettled was leaving behind everyone else while taking the boys out. You knew they would never leave them behind but that didn’t stop you from feeling guilty.

“What about everyone else?” You looked at all of them.

“We can't risk getting everyone out at one time.” Namjoon sighed. “I know it's terrible but they'll have to wait just a bit more.”

“Okay.” You nodded your head.

Namjoon pulled you into his side, placing his chin over your head.

“Once we leave here though, we have to make haste to Yuri lake.” Yoongi sat up, legs falling off the side of Namjoon’s bed.

“There is no time to delay. We have to get home to tell Bang Nim about what Hanseol is doing.” Hoseok finished.

“Yuri lake?” You pondered. “The moon pool in the mountains?”

“Hobi said it's on your grandparents property.” Jimin spoke up.

“It is.” You nodded. “My grandpa still lives there. He's said he was going to leave it to my mother and her siblings after he passes.” You spoke softly thinking about your grandfather.

While you had lived in Gwangju with your parents, your grandparents lived in the Wolchulsan countryside. They had an entire mountain range in their backyard, what kind of child wouldn’t enjoy going to see it. You spent all your summers with your grandparents because you had always loved going to explore their farm as a child. The mountains also had tons of cave systems within them. One of which you could recall had a moon pool inside.

Your grandmother passed away a few years ago, right after you finished your studies. She had been so proud of you when you told your grandparents you were accepted into the university in Seoul. While you told her you were going to the big city, you would still be coming back down to see them during the summer.

And you had been. You still went the past summer to spend time with your grandpa. You would go back and forth between your home with your parents and the farm with your grandfather. The only thing on your mind was making sure to call beforehand to tell him that you were going to be visiting.

“(Y/N), if we do this your grandfather will also be in danger.” Namjoon pulled you back to look at you.

“Then we find a way to keep him safe.” You told him. “He'll understand. He can be stubborn but he knows when there is danger he has to leave.”

“Is that it?” You asked, wanting to be sure they were ready for it.

All the boys looked to Namjoon waiting for his response. “I guess so.”

You spent an hour going over more plans for the escape with the boys. There was a good amount of trust going into Taehyung but everyone spoke that they believed in him. They were all proud of what he was able to do with you so they were more than trustful in him.

When they all left Namjoon’s room, you almost felt like crying at the idea of finally taking them out of this place. This past month and half has been something unforgettable. You wouldn’t imagine going into a new job would entitle working for magical creatures that exist. Or being hired by a demon that could erase your mind.

It was a bit mind blowing how much you managed to find out in just a couple of days. Everything you ever thought of–understood–had changed completely in the span of a couple of hours. You also didn’t realize how much love you had to give until you found seven different men to give it to.

When you turned around, you found Namjoon sitting at the edge of his bed, head in his hands as he rubbed at his face. You walked up to him, slotting yourself between his legs making him look up at you. As you took his wrist into your hands, he opened his eyes a pur coming from his chest at the sight of you.

“You're worried.” You told him.

“Is it that obvious?” He scoffed, taking his arms from you.

He wrapped them around your waist, sticking his face into your chest. You giggled as he rubbed his cheeks against them, the rumble from his chest causing you to smile.

“Namjoon, you've given up so much.” You told him softly, running your hand through his hair. “And I know you have tried so hard to save everyone.” You pulled his face up to look at you. “It's your turn to be saved. Let me do that for you.”

“I don't want you to get hurt.” He whispered.

“One scratch on me is nothing compared to the wounds you've suffered.” You softly placed your lips onto his.

There was something about Namjoon that made you let go of everything. LIke you knew he was going to take care of you. The way he kissed you was soft, but you knew deep down that you were meant to allow him access to all that you had. He was a dominating person who demanded attention wherever he walked. And just like that he was a dominating person in bed too.

His large hands were splayed along your back, making you arch your chest into his. As he pulled you closer, you placed a knee down between his legs but he didn’t want you there. He quickly took a hold of your thigh and moved to place your knee on the other side of his hips. He did the same with your other leg, gradually making you sit down in his lap.

Once you locked your legs behind him, Namjoon stood up with you and turned you around to lay you on the bed comfortably. Feeling Namjoon press his chest onto yours and engulf your body made you feel small. Not physically but like you weren’t as powerful as you thought yourself to be.

For once you had finally met someone who you were willing to let everything go for.

Namjoon placed a hand near your head, leaning up to stare down at you. Your breath got caught in your throat, hands going to touch his chest. He was taking in breaths through his mouth, trying to come up with what to say.

“Namjoon?” You quietly spoke.

He shut his eyes tightly, fisting the sheets near your head. He dropped his forehead down to yours which caused you to gasp. You felt his hot searing skin touch you but it was gone the next moment. You wanted to rub at the spot wondering where the pain went.

“What happened?” You asked him.

He still had his eyes shut, but the moment they opened up his pupils quickly reduced in size and turned slitted. You gasped quietly as purple swirled around his irises, completely overtaking his dark eyes.

“My body temperature was rising and I didn’t want to hurt you.” He whispered.

“Namjoon we can stop–” You tried to say but he shook his head.

“No,” He told you, leaning down to give you a kiss. “It’s just what Jungkook went through. I’ve just lived long enough to know how to have a handle over it.”

He leaned forward again, planting his lips with yours in a rush. Your head began to feel dizzy at the heat coming off of Namjoon. However for some reason it was only making you more aware of everything around you. The hairs on your arm were standing up–your core was starting to get slick without so much as a thought crossing your mind to arouse you.

Namjoon pulled back from your lips with a pop, making quick work to take off your pants and underwear causing you to gasp.

“Namjoon?” You called to him.

Looking up, your eyes went wide as they took in his hooded expression and clenched jaw. He looked bigger to you for some reason. Steam was coming off his body that left you worried about his safety as well as yours.

After taking off his clothing, like a predator, he slowly placed his hands on the bed, crawling over your body to make you lean back onto the bed. He kept his head down, keeping his purple eyes on yours.

“Namjoon?” You whispered again, eyes drifting down to his lips.

“I have a hold of it.” He answered. “My body won’t hurt you. Not in this kind of state.”

You nodded your head, at a loss for words as you became dizzy again. The only thing you could think about was how cold your legs seemed to be. Namjoon’s warmth that radiated from his chest seemed to have an effect on you and you were basking in it.

You felt a shiver wrack down your body as Namjoon’s lips went to your neck. As he moved lower, he pushed your shirt up to expose more of your skin, taking in a deep breath when he reached your navel. He stopped for a moment, nose twitching at your heat that was bare for him to feel on his chest.

You felt his fingers twitch at your side, digging into your skin as they warmed up your body more than it already was. You flinched a bit when Namjoon suddenly shot his head up, looking up at you.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked you.

You gave him a small smile, reaching a hand out to stroke his cheek. “I’m okay.” You told him.

“Then hold on.”

Your eyes went wide at the smirk he gave you, quickly hiding from your stare as his head was suddenly buried between your legs. You didn’t get the chance to comprehend what he was doing seeing as the moment his tongue touched your heat you let out a moan and tried to clench your legs.

The way he moved along your lower lips was much different to the way Jungkook had. The younger man was sloppy, using everything and making sure to cover everything. However Namjoon was precise in what he did. The tip of his tongue probed at your entrance, going up and down your slit.

You arched your back into his face, gasping out trying to take in some kind of breath but it seemed Namjoon kept taking it right out of you. He grew annoyed with your twitching it seemed, quickly leaning up as he shifted one of your legs down onto the bed and the other higher up to his shoulder.

The position had you crying and your muscles stretching. He had you wide open to accommodate him, dragging your body up to his mouth. When you heard him growl your vision went blank for a moment.

With the heat that seemed to act like an aphrodisiac and the sounds rumbling out of his chest, you began to feel your orgasm building up. You tried to reach out for Namjoon, crying out as you couldn’t find something to hold onto. He must have felt your conflict because he quickly removed a hand to reach out towards you.

As his fingers curled around yours, your vision went black and your legs twitched at your orgasm. As our core clenched and unclenched, Namjoon allowed himself to place his entire mouth on you to suck whatever it was you would give him.

When your orgasm finally stopped, Namjoon softly dropped your legs down onto the bed, messaging your skin to calm you down from your high. With your open mouth and blissed out expression, Namjoon smiled crawling back up to your face.

You slowly opened your eyes, taking him in above you. Leaning up to brush your lips against his, you wanted to feel him on you again to calm down your nerves. He moved to brush his fingertips against your cheeks, placing his forehead against yours. Your eyes slipped closed as strong emotions of love and care overtook you.

“You’re one of us now.” He whispered to you. “We won’t allow anything to happen to you.”

You gasped quietly at the feeling of his length between the both of you. Namjoon stood back up, one leg placed on the edge of the bed. Grabbing onto your hips he quickly dragged you closer to the end, allowing him to slot between your legs. He made you lock your legs behind his back, going back to give you a searing kiss after he got you where he wanted.

You felt your body relax rather than tense at his intrusion. There wasn’t a burn like the others, instead all you felt was immense pleasure. The pants you let out in Namjoon’s ear had him growling again. The blunt nails digging into the skin of your hips made you mewl at the feeling.

The moment Namjoon was sheathed all the way, all you could think about was clawing at his back and wanting him to move. Even if he didn’t have to wait, he still took a moment. Judging from how he seemed to clench his eyes shut, it probably had to be because he didn’t want to finish too quickly.

And the moment your hips tried to move to gain some kind of friction, that was all it took for Namjoon to slam your hips down with a warning growl and his purple eyes to stare down at you. You squeaked out, quickly stopping your movements.

He leaned back to your ear. “I’m not trying to scare you, Little One.” He said breathlessly. “But I’m the one taking care of you. Be patient.”

You nodded quickly, moving to touch any part of him in order to ground you back down to the plane of the living. And the moment he felt your body relax once more, he began to move his hips.

You once again felt the dominance he had about him that made you want to allow him to take care of you. It wasn’t that you were going into a separate head space, it was just that Namjoon had that air about him that was caring. Something that made him someone others looked up to when it came to their problems. For you, it was just an emotion you were no stranger to. You had always been someone who cared for people, and for once there was someone who wanted to care for you.

With Namjoon leaning over your body, your fingers dug into his back. And when your second orgasm was approaching you began to grip onto it tightly. Even in your orgasmic bliss, you didn’t want to scratch at his back for fear of hurting his already damaged skin.

When Namjoon’s orgasm came full force, your eyes snapped open at the roar he let out. His eyes seemed to glow and his teeth were much sharper than normal. It was a sight to see someone like Namjoon let go in such a primal way.

He had quickly pulled out before anything happened. He let go onto the floor rather than on you, dropping both hands down near you after his high began to go down. Your own need to take care of him began to swell in your chest as you watch him try to calm down.

You moved from your position, slowly dragging his arm up with you to led him to lay down. He was sluggish, tired from the entire deal. You smiled softly at his look. You almost wanted to cry with how much it seemed everything was weighing on him. For once he had let go of that stress.

Namjoon pulled you closer, swallowing as his eyes closed shut. “Why are you upset?” He asked you.

You pulled back from his chest, looking up at him. “Because–you’re always so stressed and for once you need someone to care for you.” You lean up just a bit. “I know that might be how you act but trust me in this.” You reached over to give him a soft kiss.

“It’s your turn to be cared for.”

Series Masterlist

[winterchimez]

Criminal | Lee Juyeon

summary: you love Lee Juyeon with all of your heart, and you are willing to do anything for him, even if he is the infamous criminal the city has been desperately trying to place back behind closed bars for years.

pairing: criminal Juyeon x agent f!reader

genre: angst, crime, slight fluff

warnings: violence, minor character deaths, blood, mentions of weapons (guns, snipers, blades, etc.), kissing

word count: 3,380

a/n: here is the 2nd entry from my 100 followers event and this was requested by my love @cloverdaisies 💚 i can't tell you how happy i was when you requested a criminal romance fic (lmao i prob just like writing crime a bit too much) & hope you'll love this my dearest clo 🫶🏻

The sounds of the sirens coming from the dozens of police cars were what filled the city tonight. 

It has happened again. 

For five years, the city has been haunted by the infamous criminal himself, The Stealer, who is notably one of the most infamous thieves the city has ever had for the past few decades. 

Nobody really knew what his motive was or even his true identity. All the public knew was that he had begun his spree, going from building to building to steal the most valued treasures or jewellery the country has kept safe behind those sturdy vaults with heavy security. None has ever succeeded in breaking through the tight security, that was until The Stealer came into the picture. However, the man himself has never harmed anyone, as his motive was just stealing the valued items while leaving no trails behind. 

That was until he was finally caught red-handed by one of the rookie agents during the infamous Royal Bank Heist case that happened last summer. 

Obviously, the public finally rejoiced at the fact that the infamous criminal that had been lurking in the shadows for long enough had finally been put behind bars, and everyone could return back to their normal daily routine again.

But their happiness was not to last for long, for The Stealer himself broke free while he was in captivity and was placed in one of the vehicles where he was supposed to be transported back to the local police station. 

And because it was you who helped the now infamous criminal to break free. 

Why have you done that months ago? When the law enforcement has been desperately trying to put this madman behind bars once and for all?

There was only one answer.

Because the infamous The Stealer himself was Lee Juyeon, your childhood best friend whom you grew up with and had a crush on for the longest time.

You and Juyeon go all the way back in middle school, where you and your family had just recently moved from the outskirts of Busan to Gwangju. After settling down for a short while, it didn’t take long for your parents to enroll you in one of the infamous institutes at the time so that you could continue with your education. 

And that was where you met your crush and best friend, Lee Juyeon.

As you stepped into the classroom to introduce yourself, you felt all sorts of negative emotions ranging from fear to anxiety. None of your classmates really paid much attention to you and even treated you like a nobody. But that wasn’t the case with Juyeon. The boy immediately welcomed you to sit right next to him, being one of the only empty seats that were still available at the time. Next thing you knew, you both immediately hit off as good friends within a few days.

Juyeon was definitely one of the biggest extroverts you’ve ever met in your lifetime. He would always initiate a conversation with you in any situation you may be in and even bring you along to meet his group of friends every day after classes. 

What’s more, that boy was really into basketball, so much so that he eventually secured a permanent role of being one of the active players for the school team, and this went on even until high school. Each time he would drag you to watch his practice match and to his games, which, quite frankly, you felt that it was a chore at the beginning. But as you slowly opened yourself up more to him, you eventually began enjoying these little so-called “dates” since it was where you get to see Juyeon’s skills up close. 

And it was when you started to develop a crush on him.

The way how he was so passionate about the sport he loves dearly, up to how you can always witness his good reflexes and muscles up close? You’d be lying to yourself if they did not make you drool whenever you see them in person. Not to mention all of the instances where he turns in your direction to give you a smile or sometimes a wink if you were lucky enough. Oh, how you were the luckiest girl alive. 

Things went on till the end of high school, where you both graduated with distinction and made both of your families proud. Eventually, you both got into your desired university, Seoul National University, to further pursue your career. Juyeon went in with a sports scholarship and was determined to dedicate his life fully to basketball, while you went ahead with criminology as you followed your father’s footsteps. 

That was until the fall of your first year of university. 

Word spread quickly throughout the campus and eventually to the neighbourhood on how Juyeon’s parents were mysteriously murdered in the comforts of their home while he was out running some errands. The sight that greeted Juyeon as he came back was something that will forever be implanted deep within his mind, never to be forgotten. 

Ever since then, Juyeon began to distance himself from everyone, even you. After the semester ended, he was nowhere to be seen again. 

It was as if he had mysteriously disappeared from the town itself, leaving little to no traces behind of where he might be. You and everyone tried your very best to contact him in all sorts of ways possible, but every single time there was no response at all. Eventually, everyone began to move on with their lives and forget that he had ever existed. 

Except for you.

For years you have continuously tried to reach back out to him by writing him letters addressed to his former residence in both Seoul and Gwangju. It did not matter if you did not receive a reply, for you’d figured if one day he were to appear in front of you again, those letters will surely reach him someday. 

This went on even until you graduated from university and landed a role as an undercover agent under the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Almost immediately, when you were assigned to a specific department, you were made aware of the series of robbery crime sprees that have happened within the city for the past several months. 

During a couple of your first missions, you and your team somewhat briefly came across The Stealer himself but failed each time to capture the man as he was too quick and was always up for a challenge with you and your fellow agents from the bureau. 

That was until your second year of working as an undercover agent, and you actually came face-to-face with The Stealer during a stand-off on one of your missions. And it was there you realised it was your crush and best friend you have desperately tried to contact for years. 

He removed his mask as he revealed his identity to you since you both were alone at that time, and no words could describe how you felt during that tense moment. Your heart finally felt at ease knowing the person you have been desperately trying to contact has finally re-emerged back in front of you and knowing that he was still alive and sound. But your other half knew that he was now a wanted criminal and is worth thousands of dollars to put him behind bars. 

Eventually, you handcuffed the male and brought him down to your colleagues, who desperately awaited your return at the lower ground. Juyeon did not resist much, as he allowed the rest of the agents to escort him into one of the transport vans to take him back down to the station. 

At that time, you were the driver and were supposed to make sure that both the fugitive and the rest of the agents returned back safe and sound to the bureau. But what they did not know was that you had other plans in your mind. 

You were going to help Juyeon escape. 

So that was what you did. You purposely lost control of the wheel and drove the vehicle right into a tree that was situated close to the highway, and immediately all of the agents blacked out from the sudden impact. You and Juyeon, on the other hand, only sustained minor injuries. 

Not wasting a second, you immediately helped Juyeon to get out of the vehicle and urged him to make a quick escape now since there were only a few seconds of opening before the remaining vehicles that were following behind yours would arrive at the crash site. 

Your friend was definitely conflicted, but you quickly shoved the man into the woods and urged him to keep running and not look back. You could tell that at that time, tears had formed in his eyes, and he was desperately trying to tell you something. Perhaps the reason why he was gone for such a long time, or even the motive as to why he began his spree all these years. 

But there was no time. As the sounds of the sirens grew louder, he quickly turned his heel toward the deep dark woods, quickly muttering a simple “thank you” before disappearing into the night. 

With that, you were left behind to deal with the mess you have created, but internally you had already prepared yourself to do so when you had plotted out this whole escape getaway for your friend. 

I hope I won’t be seeing you again, Juyeon. 

Turns out you were wrong, and your friend has seemingly decided to make his comeback tonight after three years since his escape. 

The FBI was immediately alerted by the local police stations once news got out that he was back, breaking into the infamous Lotte Hotel Seoul, where the current most prized jewellery was kept safe within the vaults in the basement.

However, knowing The Stealer and how he has managed to break through even the tightest security from past experiences, the bureau knew that they were not taking chances and immediately hopped into action right away. 

Since The Stealer has re-emerged after going into hiding for a year, you knew that your superiors would not take failure as an option this time. Hence, all of you agents were equipped with the latest weapons and technology that the bureau has upgraded, and within minutes all of you were out the door, hopping into your vehicles and heading to the designated location. 

As you drove your way to the infamous hotel, the only thing that was on your mind was how the head of the FBI had issued a clear order for any of your agents to shoot the man down if needed, doesn’t matter if he was alive or dead at the end of the day, so long as his body was taken to the bureau in one piece.

Shaking off the negative thoughts, you pressed down your accelerator and began speeding up to the site of interest.

Please, Juyeon, please be safe. 

The whole ride would’ve taken about ten minutes if only you weren’t preoccupied with all of the negative thoughts you were having about this current mission. You felt like it was one of the longest drives you’ve ever had to take for a stand-off mission. 

Once you arrived at the location, you immediately hopped off your vehicle and took all of your equipment with you as you rushed to the scene. Sure enough, some of your colleagues were already there in their designed spots, and some were armed with snipers to take the man down. 

What you didn’t expect was that a full shoot-out had already begun, where some of the agents were already shooting the targeted building floor where you assumed Juyeon was. You looked up, and that was where you saw your friend, armed with a gun, also shooting back at your agents. 

No freaking way. 

Juyeon would never harm a fly. He never did even all those years when he began his spree in the city. The only thing he did was take away the valued treasures and leave the scene in haste. 

So why now? Had something changed in the man after going into hiding for the past year? Why has he begun to go down the violent pathway? 

You needed answers. And you had to get to him as soon as possible. 

Trying your best to think of a way to reach him, you were turning your head back and forth from your fellow agents to Juyeon in the building. 

Come on. Think, Y/N. You have to come up with something quick. 

As you were lost in your thoughts, one of the snipers managed to aim at Juyeon’s weak spot, pulled the trigger, and within seconds you could’ve sworn you saw the bullet go straight into his right shoulder in slow-motion. Right away, your friend collapsed on the ground, and the agents wasted no time getting into the building as fast as they could.

No, I’m not letting you get caught. 

Without thinking much, you immediately removed one of the canisters from your bulletproof vest. You threw it to the ground, creating a smokescreen which could temporarily slow down the movements of your colleagues. That was when you quickly got on your feet and ran up into the building as fast as possible. 

Please, Juyeon. Bear with me. 

You could say that you were known among your colleagues to be one of the fastest agents alive because you managed to get Juyeon out from there and somehow escaped to the rooftops of one of the nearby buildings instead.

With Juyeon being wounded, it wasn’t easy having to carry him as he leaned on you while draping one of his arms over your shoulders. Not to mention you were carrying your own agent equipment simultaneously. Hence, you could say it was a miracle for you both to have gone undetected as you both made your escape. 

As you both reached your temporary safe spot, you immediately laid Juyeon down on the ground while quickly fishing out the first aid materials you had always brought along with you on every mission. Taking one of your blades from your vest, you quickly cut open the black tee that Juyeon was wearing to reveal a bloodied, wounded shoulder. The bullet was stuck pretty well within his shoulder, and since you did not have the right materials to remove it, the best you could do was somehow stop the bleeding for now and slightly help ease his pain.

As you were doing your thing, your friend decided to speak up, and god, have you missed that deep yet comforting voice that you’ve always admired and loved. 

“Y/N. You know you are potentially playing a nurse to a killer right now?” 

“Shush, Juyeon. Don’t say another word.”

He chuckled. “Y/N. You always see the good in people, even me. After all these years, where I have brought you nothing but pain.” 

As you finally wrapped the bandage around his shoulder and put a slight pressure down on the wound, you finally turned your head to face the man of your dreams. Right there and then, tears began forming in your eyes. You just wanted nothing else but to hold him in your arms, assuring him that everything was under control and it would be all okay. 

You were about to speak when he reached his hands up to your face and gently caressed your cheeks while wiping the streaming tears away with his thumb. Now, he looks at you fondly and takes in all of your features, as if he has not seen you for so long and how badly he had missed this beautiful face he always yearns for. 

“Juyeon…” You began to hold his hand on your face for dear life, not wanting to let it go anymore. 

He smiled. “I’m sure you have a whole ton of questions for me, and I’m so sorry for keeping you in the dark for years, Y/N. But I need you to know that I’m doing all this for a reason, and it all concerns my parent's murder from all those years ago.”

So it was something related to that infamous case. 

“But I can’t tell you more than that, at least for now.”  

Your shoulders slumped in defeat as you hoped he’d come clean to you right here and now. But if he had his reasons, then there was no reason for you to judge him or force him into doing something he cannot commit now. 

“It’s fine, Juyeon. What matters is that I’m glad to have reunited with you ever since that car crash from a year prior.” 

You both enjoyed that short silence between one another before you began hearing sounds that were coming in your direction, which indicated that someone was coming up to the rooftop. 

Time was up, and you had to let him go once again. 

Before that, you quickly slipped a note to your friend as you helped him sit up. “Go to this location right here and find this building hidden in the outskirts of town. You’ll find an abandoned cabin where someone will tend to your wounds and hopefully keep you safe till you can get up on your feet yourself again.” 

Just as you were about to get Juyeon up from the ground, he immediately grabbed your arms and stopped you in your tracks. “Why are you doing so much for me, Y/N? When the only thing I’ve ever brought you was trouble?” 

You gulped before finally answering him with what you have always wanted him to know. 

“Because I love you, Lee Juyeon. And I would do anything to keep you safe, even if it meant ditching my status or position to do so.” 

Immediately, you dived into his embrace and begged for one last thing you could get from him before letting him go. “Please, just hold me for a moment.” 

Sure enough, he did as you were told and returned the embrace as well. Within seconds, he broke it off, and the next thing that happened, he crashed his lips onto yours. More tears began streaming down as you eased into the kiss, wishing to savour this moment for as long as possible. 

The footsteps were now getting closer, and you knew that you could no longer hold your colleagues back anymore. Hence, the kiss was broken off, and you helped Juyeon up to his feet while helping him get to the edge of the building. You quickly strapped him up in your zipline equipment which you’d set up prior in case you both had to make a run for it. 

“Now go, Juyeon. I’ll deal with them.” 

Your friend took one last glance at you and returned one more kiss on your lips. “Thank you, Y/N. I promise you, I will write you back a letter this time. Just like how you’ve done to me for all those years.” 

Within seconds, you witnessed how Juyeon glided down into another building, and he made a run for it as best as he could. You watched as he made his way out of the building and eventually disappeared into one of the alleyways, which you knew that it leads to the outskirts of town. 

Right away, as Juyeon was out of sight, the doors to the rooftop burst open, revealing a few of your colleagues rushing to you with snipers in their hands. They were obviously shocked by the amount of blood that had gotten onto you, and you somehow convinced them that The Stealer had wounded you badly and fled the scene a long time ago. Thus, one of them escorted you down from the building while the remaining ones tried their best to catch up with the criminal's footsteps. 

Making your way out of the building, you couldn’t help but look up into the sky, praying that this whole nightmare you both have been dealing with will ultimately come to an end someday, real soon. 

“Juyeon, I’ll always love you and have your back no matter what. And I pray that the next time we meet, we will no longer be haunted by our past.” 

masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @k-films @flwoie @hokupi @zzoguri @kyusqult @tinkerbell460 @cheonsafics @sulkygyu (join my permanent taglist here!)

[honeyhotteoks]

do you have any advice on like getting better with writing?

hey! i definitely do!! i’ve talked about this before but i have a lot of new readers, so ill start off by saying i’ve been writing for my entire life, and im 30 so thats a lot of years. if you’re a new writer, trust me i used to be there and good god if you guys could see the stuff i published in old fandoms 💀 really, really bad haha

i only say that because i by no means consider myself a great writer, there are fic writers in this space alone that i’m always so floored by and look up to…. but people have been very kind about my writing style and it’s something that took time to develop it’s not something i just “had”. outside of fic, i was a literature and creative writing major, and got very used to writing and workshopping pieces.

now! onto some actual advice —

1. read a lot and read more, but read stuff you actually like and not stuff you feel pressured to read. i love high brow litfic as much as the next pretentious english major, but i started writing a ton after reading a bunch of kindle unlimited romance because it was fun and it got me inspired

2. watch well written television for dialogue and pacing. people do not talk in proper english, they don’t say things eloquently, and there’s a lot of filler and fluff. that’s good! that’s real, so i love well written tv to show me how it’s done

3. get comfortable writing in weird ways. for years i used to sit down and be like “ah okay so chapter one” and then i was stuck, stalled out, and just felt bad about the process. when i started writing both aurora and tnt, i started in the middle. i had an image of a scene in my mind (for tnt it was actually the claim attempt) and i just wrote it out and then bounced around later

4. outlines are your friend! sometimes i’ll get a random line of dialogue in my head or an image but that doesn’t mean i’m ready to write it. i throw it in one big outline so i don’t lose it.

5. if you’re wanting to write really good smut i have two suggestions but please only do this to your personal comfort level. this is what works for me but do not make yourself uncomfortable— for good smut, i watch porn for reference and for good dirty talk, i listen to nsfw audio. i like to really write the visuals for smut and make it immersive but lol i haven’t experienced everything ive written about and logistics of the body are hard!! i usually find a video or an audio and let that help guide the imagery im writing.

6. be comfortable with the editing process. i know the temptation to post something the minute you finish it is there, but sleep on it. come back and edit it, read the dialogue out loud if you have to. i swear you’ll make the piece better just by leaving it and coming back.

7. don’t be afraid to post. most people are kind, and the worst thing that will happen is you don’t get a lot of notes. that’s okay, it’s a process.

8. research! as i’m writing anything, even a silly little oneshot, im doing research on something. i am hyper aware that im not korean and have never spoken korean or lived in korea, so for my fic i try my hardest to ground elements of that in reality. i truly cannot tell you how many hours ive spent reading like korean case law on revenge porn just for like 3 lines of dialogue. and you don’t have to go that crazy, i’m arguably too intense, but i do think some of that helps the story and the dialogue feel real.

9. describe something real- every place in my writing is based on something real. every apartment, hotel, cafe, venue, etc., they’re all either something i’ve found online or drawn from my life and use that to my advantage. i use apartment listings and save photographs, i do google map walks to see what neighborhoods look like, anything to get the feel of a place or an experience. for the christmas chapters of aurora, i watched hours of gwangju walking tour videos on youtube while i was writing just to understand how to describe their walk in the snow. it really helps me to have a visual that i can put words to.

10. find your weak points and see what other writers do differently. if you want to improve, you should find a small place to start. is it dialogue? overall plot? smut? etc. - i’ll never forget being on a creative writing retreat, and a very important writing professor said to me “everything you write is very pretty but you haven’t said anything. you have to decide to say something.” that feedback hurt, but sent me down a much better writing path when i realized where i was falling short and not challenging myself.

okay i hope some of this was helpful and if it’s a mess im sorry im on mobile. i really just love writing so deeply and will always talk about it, so i hope this was helpful 💗

[alphabetboyluvr]

something borrowed | jjk

VIBES | first loves, a lil angst, a lil... infidelity (don't scream at me!!), no smut (a little teeny lips to kitty moment but no actual smut) jungkook's nose be doing things (smelling <3) cause when is it not?, mafia au

SOUNDTRACK | moth to a flame - swedish house mafia, the weekend ; mirage - elina

HOLLY'S NOTE | (originally posted april 2023) was in a tiktok hell hole of moth to a flame edits, and this is the product of it loool. posted on wp first!!

WORD COUNT |  2.8k

GLOSSARY OF TERMS | all relating to korean gangs 

Gyeongsang - the ancient name for what is now known as the Yeongnam district of Korea. It includes Daegu, Busan, Ulsan, and both Gyeongsang Provinces. It's essentially the South-East of the country.

Honam - the district of Korea which includes Gwangju and both Jeolla provinces. Essentially, it's Yeongnam's counterpart - the South-West of the country.

Pa - the term for a 'mob' in Korean, often affixed to regions or identifiers of specific gangs

Jopok - a term for someone involved in a gang 

THEY SAY you never forget your first love; that it's some sort of earth-shattering, universe-bending, life-debilitating experience. You learn from it; how to behave, how to act, how to break a heart, and - sometimes - how to heal one, too.

They're a funny thing, first loves.

Virginities are given and taken in all aspects of life; sex, declarations of affection, scathing remarks in the midst of arguments.

Jeon Jungkook has all of your firsts, and you all of his.

It had been a too-hot summer, and you'd been rebelling.

Fresh-faced, and terribly bored of the confines put in place by your father, Jungkook had seemed like a safe bet. 

Jungkook had always been a rebel. You made no change to that.

You'd gone to Busan looking for trouble. Like father, like daughter. He usually went there to fuck with Gyeongsang-pa goonies who didn't know their left from their right; to remind them that what Honam-pa may lack in their underground history, they made up for in their sheer moxie.

You'd gone there to fuck with Gyeongsang-pa goonies, too, just in the literal sense. You were on the cusp of nineteen, and still being held prisoner to Honam-pa hierarchy, or so it felt.

An easy target was found in the form of a boy skimming rocks against a settled bay. Leather jacket and a face of thunder, Jeon Jungkook had wanted nothing to do with you. Heard the tone of your dialect and knew you were one of them.

"Ain't no place for Honam bitches," he'd told you. Had made you laugh.

"And who are you?" You'd replied, voice condescending, eyes innocent. "Too scrawny to be Jopok."

He had smirked. Shook his head. "Yeah, and you're too vapid to be asking questions like that in a city that ain't yours." The pebble he sent hurtling into the ocean skipped once, twice, three times before sinking. He turned to look at you. Sighed. Figured you were at least a little bit more interesting than pebbles. "What's your name, Honam?"

As you stand in front of a mirror, seven years since that summer, you know Jeon Jungkook will be getting all of your lasts, too.

You're smoothing down a dress; white, lace, and everything a girl dreams of.

Well, everything a girl who wants a traditional wedding with all the bells and whistles wants.

You've always considered yourself an elopement kind of girlie; last-minute charity shop dress for you, and second-hand tie for your groom, in a city worlds away from 'home'. That's what you would have liked.

But you're Honam's Princess. 

This was always gonna be the way.

You'd never expected yourself to have a Gyeongsang-pa groom, but sometimes life works out in funny ways.

"It's bad luck," you say quietly as Jungkook approaches the doorway. It's a little before noon. Nuptials are at two. You've sent away your ladies in waiting, favouring these final moments alone.

"To see the bride?" he questions. He's not even started getting ready yet. Still in a pair of sweats and an old shirt that you remember from that very first summer. You wonder if he's wearing it deliberately now; if it makes him feel like he's young again.

He'd been so fresh-faced back then. His broad back hadn't yet been tarnished by a dragon, and his eyes had seen far less violence. His hands, too.

You nod. "Remember? I told you. You shouldn't see the bride on the morning of the ceremony."

Jungkook just shrugs. Pushes the door to, and walks further into the room to stand behind you. It's warm, but his presence gives you chills. It shouldn't do. Not when you know him as intimately as you do.

His fingers reach up to toy at the vintage clasp of your necklace. He asks, "Something old?"

You're silent as you study him in the mirror. He's not aged a day. Not really. Not in his eyes. The scar on his cheek looks a little deeper from his face filling out, and he wears his hair differently - he doesn't subscribe to the Gyeongsang-pa standard of short sides, long top anymore - but his eyes are just the same.

"Something old," you nod.

He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, and lets the very tips of his fingers trail down your spine, until they reach the fabric of your dress.

"Your Grandmothers," he says. "I remember it."

You don't hide your surprise.

"What?" he smirks, when he notices the tiny little hum of confusion you do. "Was that first summer. You left it in my car once. Was karma for you chatting shit about your sister inheriting the opal ring."

"It was too small for her fingers!" you immediately protest, still standing by the fact it would have been cherished by you - though you do have an opal ring, now. 

It normally sits snug on your fourth finger, awaiting a dainty silver band to keep it company, but it's off today. Symbolic. Your wedding band is to be threaded on first, held in place by your opal forevermore.

"The necklace suits you," he offers. 

Thinks it really does; a small silver chain, links twisted with a single teardrop pearl resting on your chest. It goes back generations. Is a status symbol. Losing it in Jungkook's car had left you terrified for you both, no matter who would have found it - Gyeongsang-pa goonies or Honam-Pa. Would have been fucked either way. Fraternizing with the enemy was one thing - but fucking them?

Your father would have had Jungkook's head on a butcher's block within an hour of finding out.

Funny, how things change.

He strides over to the dresser, where a white shoe box sits open. Tissue paper sprouts from the packaging, and nestled inside are a pair of heels that he thinks are befitting of you. They're white, to match your dress, with ornate silver leaves trailing up and around the heels. You'll be a good few inches taller with them on, but he'd still dwarf you if he were to stand across from you.

A little taller than he was that very first summer, Jungkook is far more confident, too. Not in a brash, false bravado kind of way, but in such a way that he's learned his worth. Knows where he is in the pecking order. Works so much harder than you ever will, and yet will never be of equal status. Not in Honam Pa, not in Gyeongsang-Pa.

He sits on the chair beside the mirror and holds a shoe in each palm. His legs are spread, smile arrogant, as he taps the shoes together.

"Something new?"

"Careful," you say, not looking at him, tweaking a little bit of your hair back. "Yes. Something new."

He raises one of shoes, and nods to where the skirt of your dress pools on the floor. "May I?"

"Shouldn't even see-"

"See the bride, yeah, yeah, I know," he says softly. "Next time I see you, you're gonna be one of us. Let me at least spend a little time with you while you're still Honam."

"You've always hated that I'm Honam," you remind him.

He doesn't deny it.

"Just let me help you get ready for your party," he says, stern but gentle. He's always been like that with you.

He calls it a party, because he refuses to call it a wedding. Wedding is too romantic. Too foreboding.

You don't want to smile. He's so abrasive at times, so frustrating. You wonder how you ended up here; eyes full of adoration as you nod. "Alright then, Prince Charming."

You lift your leg just a little bit, but Jungkook knows your body, so doesn't give it a second thought as he reaches down to leverage it up. He strokes at your ankle, the heel of your foot, the arch. Smiles to himself when you shudder a little when his fingers ghost across the tiny ticklish section.

"Don't," you smile. "I'll fall."

He just shrugs. "I'll catch you."

That's the thing about Jungkook; he always does. Trusty, dependable, reliable. 

Sure, maybe occasionally he would be the one to tie your laces, but he would always catch you.

You've no laces on now. Any falling? All of your own doing.

Jungkook doesn't let the sentiment linger. Asks, "Something blue?"

You look down at him as he slides the second shoe onto your other foot, and wonder if showing him really will be pushing your luck - but hey.

He's already seen the bride.

What harm would it do if he sees a little more?

He holds on to your ankle for longer than he really should. Strokes his thumb across the top of your foot. Smiles. You press the pad of your now-heeled foot into the tiny space between his spread legs, keeping it elevated, and give him a look that grants him permission to explore.

Both of his hands stroke up your raised leg, smooth and silky, the fabric of your dress moving to reveal what's hidden beneath. He reaches your knee. Leans forward a little. Presses those lips you know so well against your skin. Keeps stroking upwards, hands spreading across your thighs before reaching a roadblock. Chiffon and lace intertwined, a baby blue garter is hooked around your leg.

Jungkook's lips trail from the top of your knee to just shy of the material that stopped him from venturing further.

"Something blue," you whisper.

He nods. Lets his nose rest against it. You've sprayed it with your perfume. He fucking loves your perfume. You've been wearing the same one since he met you, and it always gets him a little heated at times he shouldn't be. 

Isn't his fault though. He thinks you conditioned him. 

And yeah, maybe you had sprayed it in his car vents on more than one occasion, and maybe you had deliberately layered a pheromone-infused oil beneath it that entire first summer. Not your fault he happened to like it a little too much. Not his fault the scent always takes him back to those stolen moments with you.

Jungkook's teeth sink into the material. Draw it back. Let it ping against your skin.

"Kook," you whisper, as if your hands aren't in his hair.

His hands push further up your legs. Both of them, now. They reveal the lacey white underwear you purchased especially for the big event. It's a matching set.

"Thank God it's not a Church wedding," he husks, a sigh exhaling. His breath tantalisingly chills your now-wet folds. So inconvenient. "You'd burn the second you stepped inside."

Jungkook's lips trail further. Leave little evidence. He's learned how to do that over the years. Has left no traces of himself, well, ever.

There's hustle and bustle in the garden out of the rear window. A traditional-style wooden screen preserves your dignity; hides your Gyeongsang-pa goonie from sight.

The venue wasn't your choice. It's Gyeongsang territory, for a start. Your father had said it would be good. Would help with the treaty. Very little about your 'party' has been planned by you. Like most of your life, your father has an iron vice on proceedings.

Your underwear was the one thing you had total control over. Had even considered wearing none at all, as a bit of a 'fuck you'.

Jungkook pauses. Takes in the sight of you. Grips the flesh of your upper thighs. Curses to himself. 

It feels like he's staring at your lace-covered cunt for an eternity before his lips finally press against it. Your grip in his hair tightens.

You'll need to change your underwear before you walk down the aisle. That's fine. This underwear was never intended for anything other than this, regardless.

Because while yes, the groom shouldn't see the bride ahead of the ceremony, it's not like that matters here. Jungkook was always going to see you before the wedding.

His lips are slow as he withdraws, and simply says, "Something borrowed."

The implication is heavy; heart-stopping. Cataclysmic.

"By you?" You whisper, as his deep dark eyes meet yours.

He looks so pretty in defeat. It pains you - but you both know this is the least painful outcome for you both.

Jungkook shakes his head. Let your dress gather by the floor. Smooths it over. Reclines into his chair.

"By Min fuckin' Yoongi."

Neither of you speak for a moment. Hearing his name, especially uttered from Jungkook's lips, makes your blood run cold. For so long, you've avoided the topic.

It's impossible, now.

See, it doesn't matter if Jungkook sees you before the ceremony.

He's not your groom.

Yoongi is.

He's your counterpart; the son of the Gyeongsang-pa King. A marriage born out of a sacred treaty between the gangs; the promise that together they'll obliterate Sudogwon's unruly mobs that have been making their way south in recent years.

"It's not too late," Jungkook whispers.

But it is, and you both know it. You've come too far to back out now.

Negotiations have been made. Peace treaties signed. Deals across clans finalised.

You're Honam's Princess, but one day you'll be Gyeongsang-pa's Queen.

Jungkook will only ever be a pauper chasing after the big boys.

So you'll say your vows and exchange your rings, and Jungkook won't object.

He'll sit quietly, like a good boy should, and watch you seal your fate.

Will watch Min Yoongi slide a wedding band onto your ring finger.

Will smile to himself when notices your engagement ring holding it in place a few months from now.

Will remind himself of the old tales that go hand in hand with opal engagement rings. If the legends are anything to go by, you'll be a widow within four years. He can wait that long. Has waited far longer, already.

And if, by four years, his time still hasn't come?

Kings can be overthrown. Jungkook is as Jopok as they come. He'll fight dirty.

For you?

He thinks he'll fight to the death.

"You're too good for Gyeongsang," he tells you, neck stretched, the crown of his head resting between his shoulder blades. You're scratching at his hair, looking at him.

With a smile, you shrug. "I'll still be Honam. For you, I'll be Honam."

Jungkook nods. Closes his eyes. Leans into your touch.

"My Honam girl," he says quietly, and it makes you wish that you had just run away with him that very first summer. You'd suggested it after you first thought you had lost your necklace. Thought it would be the only way to keep one another safe - until Jungkook found it between the seats.

You'd thanked the God that you don't believe in at the time. Clutched the necklace over your heart, head tipped to the heavens, all while Jungkook looked only at you. Lucky, he'd said, unaware that it was the worst possible outcome for you both.

You should've run.

Should've fuckin' run.

"Go," you whisper, knowing it's too late for any of that now. "We've got a party to attend, and you can't show up in a pair of sweats."

He likes that you don't call it a wedding, either. Nods. Also knows he can't be caught sneaking from your room. There'd be hell to pay.

Jungkook gets to his feet. Kisses your cheek. Tell you how pretty you look. Slowly walks to the door, then turns to look at you one final time. Spares you from a final remark that could make you feel even worse about the situation.

"Kook?" You call, just because you can't bear to let him leave. Not yet. It's too soon.

He hums a response. Doesn't open the door just yet. Waits for you to speak.

"I wish we never met."

Jungkook looks at his feet. Smiles. Nods. 

"Me, too, babe."  And then, just because he needs it to be known, "I love you."

You don't turn to face him.

"I love you, too."

[sailoryooons]

A Spring Offering Collaboration

As the veil thins, the magic strengthens. Let our festival leaders take you on a magical journey to experience the wonders of Beltane and be blessed with the power and spirit of Spring.

Disclaimer: This is a collaboration put on for members of the BTS Fantasy and Fangs Server. The depictions of Beltane and its customs are the initial inspiration, but the stories may not represent the original customs, practices, and beliefs from the original practice. These stories, characters, and festivals used here are not meant to represent any real or factual people, places, or things.

Rating: Most works feature 18+ content and are NSFW. Each work will have its own set of warnings.

Coming throughout the month of May.

Festival Leader: @sailoryooons

Title: Break

Pairing: Seokjin x f. reader

AU: Witches

Genre: Angst, smut

Summary: Seokjin has been at your side for the last few years. He's your closest friend, and the one person you don't think you can live without. But what happens when you discover that he might be the source of the curse he's been trying to help you escape from?

Read Now

Festival leader: @colormepurplex2

Title: Flowers of Fate

Pairing: UnseeliePrince!Yoongi x Human!f.Reader x UnseelieGuard!Jungkook x SeeliePrince!Jimin x WoodNymph!Namjoon

AU: Fae/Magick

Genre: Smut, fluff, angst

Summary: You grew up hearing whimsical tales and ballads of magic and the hauntingly beautiful fae from your late grandpa. In an effort to feel closer to him and experience the joy he so often spoke of, you take a spur-of-the-moment trip to Scotland to partake in Beltane— a festival that took center stage in many of his stories. But, in a shower of yellow flower petals, you find yourself getting far closer to your grandpa's stories than you ever thought possible.

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Festival Leader: @quirkybtsarmy

Title: Hoseok

Pairing: Jung Hoseok X reader.

Genre: Horror, fluff, romance

AU: College/University AU, Carrie AU

Summary: Gwangju Music Academy is a prestigious school that has many different personalities walking its halls. There are promising musicians, dancers, producers; you name it, they are. Two of those personalities are Jung Hoseok and L/N Y/N. But what happens when the Beltane Festival which celebrates the union between South Korea and Ireland reveals Hoseok's darkest secret?

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Festival Leader: @theharrowing

Title: An Ghealach

Pairing: Jimin x reader

AU: Speculative horror

Genre: Angst, smut

Summary: Field Linguist Jimin Park travels to a remote island called An Ghealach off the coast of Ireland to research and document an endangered language, just in time for the community's Beltane festivities. What he encounters is both horrifying and mesmerizing beyond his wildest dreams.

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Festival Leader: @gimmethatagustd

Title: What the Fire Gave Us

Pairing: Shadow elemental!jungkook x water elemental!(f)reader

AU: Supernatural, dystopian

Genre: Angst, smut, fluff

Summary: You were born with a Gift that the world wanted to turn into a weapon. All Jungkook wanted to do was show you that you could find love, even in the dark.

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Festival Leader: @beahae

Title: Essence

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Jungkook, Fem!Reader x Taehyung

AU: UndefinedMagic!AU

Genre: Smut, some darkness/angst

Summary: Jungkook is on cloud nine after meeting what he can only describe as the girl of his dreams on the morning of the festival. Interestingly, Taehyung explains he is experiencing something similar when he comes back to their tent to get ready for the celebrations of the night.

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[blizzardfluffykpop]

Start Anew

Summary: Your best friend, Eric, wants you to meet his brother from another mother, Juyeon. 

Oneshot

Exes to lovers, Non-idol au

Word Count: 1,039

Juyeon X Reader 

[Features: Best friend! Eric]

[A/n: I got this thought while watching Moonrock yesterday… And I wrote it up in like two hours, so enjoy.]

------

You’ve been walking through Gwangju for a while with Eric. To say you weren’t familiar with these roads would be silly. You know these roads like the back of your hand. Your last meaningful boyfriend lived here. You were lost in thought until Eric turned to you excitedly, “I think you would love to meet him!” You blink, trying to remember him saying a name, and he continues, “He's my brother when I'm away from home. His family always welcomes me.” When he turns around, you gulp, hoping you’re wrong because this path is the same path you used to walk hand in hand with Juyeon to his home. It’s not that you didn’t want to meet him. You just knew you’d fall for him again if you saw him again. 

You settle your nerves until he stops at the one house you dread he would. Eric enters the code as if he was entering his own home. He excitedly walks in, and you follow behind him. “Ju! I'm here!” And after a moment or two, you hear someone coming down the stairs. You turn your head to see this fabled brother from another mother, hoping it’s anyone else, to see Lee Juyeon, your old boyfriend. Your heart skips a beat, but you hold yourself together. It wasn't that it ended on bad terms. It ended because you both were going your separate ways. And although it broke you, you both knew long distance. No matter how hard you tried, it wouldn't work out. From behind Eric, you look at Juyeon and see how he's changed, yet all the ways he's stayed the same. Juyeon catches sight of you, and stops at the bottom of the stairs, and puts his hand behind his neck, rubbing it reflexively. Eric grins as he goes up to him and gives him a giant hug, “I've missed you, man!” He cheers, and Juyeon wraps his arms around him. And for a moment, you imagine what it'd be like meeting him with no prior knowledge. From how you'd tell Eric that you think his friend is handsome. And how Eric would let it slip to him by accident. Yet, that's not how you're meeting Juyeon. You already know him inside and out, but that was then. Do you even know anything about him anymore? Does he still like basketball? Is he still slow to react to things? Does he have that same cute giggle? You gulp as you hold back any feelings that threaten to bubble up. 

Eric pulls away with a joyful smile with his arm wrapped around Juyeon's shoulder. He says, “(Y/n), I want you to meet my dearest friend and practically my brother, Juyeon.” Juyeon gives a small smile, and you reciprocate as Eric introduces you, “Juyeon, this is my best friend I met abroad, (Y/n). They saved my ass so many times.” The three of you let out a laugh. But you can't help but stare at Juyeon as you whisper, “Eric...” And Eric cocks his head to the side, “Yeah?” You look at the ground, “Juyeon and I already know each other.” Eric pulls his arm from Juyeon and gasps, looking between you both, “What?!” Juyeon nods, and Eric asks, “How?!” You look at the ground and say, “We used to date.” Eric blinks and looks at Juyeon, confused, “So why was it whenever I mentioned (Y/n) you never said anything?” Juyeon looks at the ground, “Um, I always… I always hoped it was my (Y/n). But I assumed it wasn't.” And Eric turns to you, “And whenever I mentioned Juyeon to you?!” You sigh, “I uh was hoping it wasn't him because knowing he could be in your life, but we couldn't be in each other's… hurt. I loved him a lot, Eric…” Eric gulps and looks between you two again, “Well… um, this is awkward... I'm gonna go and let you two solve this tension…” He heads away somewhere in the house. 

You can't pay attention even if you wanted to. You both start, “So um…” He gestures for you to go first, “I've heard from Eric what you've been up to over the years, but… are you seeing anyone?” He shakes his head ‘no’ as he rubs the back of his neck, “I dated before, but uh… I've always kind of hoped to see you again.” You look down, “I always hoped we'd run into each other again… and that we could start anew.” You fiddle with your fingers, and he asks bluntly, “Well, what if we do?” You look up at him, stunned. And ask, “Really?” “Yeah.” He smiles as you stare at each other and says, “We both miss each other and have wanted each other… so?” You smile, “I'd love to.” And that's when you hear a cheer from the top of the stairs. You both roll your eyes as if catching a child sneaking around noisily to find out what his presents are before Christmas. You both say in unison, “Eric, you can come down now.” You hear him drag his feet, “I just wanted my friends to be happy together…” You laugh before you ask, “Did you figure it out before?” 

Eric rolls his eyes and nods, “There’s only so many Juyeons and (Y/n)s in the world, and even fewer that know each other.” You gasp, “You little brat…” And Juyeon blinks at him before finally saying, “Eric…” Eric laughs before shrugging, “Hey, if it wasn't for me putting two and two together, you two wouldn’t have reunited…” You shake your head, “You’re right, but… You would have introduced us even if you didn't figure it out.” Eric laughs, “You have me there.” He walks between you two before clapping you both on the back, “So, where's our first date, love birds? I'm quite hungry.” You both roll your eyes, and Eric continues, “I'm thinking ramen. What about you two?” Juyeon grabs your hand, “What do you say we eat with kiddo here and ignore him as we catch up?” You laugh, interlocking your fingers, “I'd love to.” Eric pouts, “But I helped get you guys together... You're going to ignore me?!” You both laugh at his expense, and say, “Exactly.” 

[missywritesfor7]

❤️‍🩹Lifeline | MYG❤️‍🩹

Synopsis: It’s long been controversial for idols to date, but idols dating each other can be really beautiful or a complete nightmare. When Yoongi's relationship with another idol is discovered, he decides maybe it’s time to break the taboo and show people it’s ok for idols to date. Instead, they find themselves caught in the midst of one media frenzy after another and struggle to keep their relationship as strong as it had been the past 2 years. Yoongi finds a self destructive way to cope, and it causes even more problems than it solves. As they fight for their relationship and their careers, they discover that sometimes, the only way to truly be free is to let go.

Pairing: idol!Yoongi x idol!OC

Warnings: nsfw, alcoholism, cheating, depression, anxiety, Yoongi goes through a bisexy ho phase, Yoongi is also in his alcoholic phase, post-military BTS

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Ch. 8: Caught in a Lie

Hyeri wakes up for what she thinks is the 5th time today with a throbbing headache. Her neck is sore from the whiplash the air bag caused and she’s starting to feel sore in other areas she hadn’t realized were hurt at first. She needs to get up to take another dose of medicine but she can’t find the strength.

When she was falling asleep behind the wheel, she was also accelerating. She hadn’t realized that she actually slept through two stoplights before she was going so fast that her car was going well above the speed limit. When her car hit the curb, she went flying into the stoplight pole at such a force that the pole was nearly knocked over and the front of her car was almost completely crushed in.

After her accident she blacked out a few times. She stayed in the hospital for two days until her parents could come up from Gwangju and take her home.

The accident left her with a mild concussion, bruises on her face, neck, shoulders, and chest, as well as cuts on her face and hands, a few requiring stitches. Her car is totaled but she’s glad she didn’t come out with any more serious injuries. She could have been discharged within 24 hours from the hospital, but she had no one to take her home. Her manager offered but she also needed someone to stay with her while she recovers at home. She opted to stay in the hospital longer and wait for her parents to come.

It worked out though, because tabloids followed her manager’s car thinking she went home with him the day she was discharged. By the time they realized she wasn’t with him, Hyeri had already quickly and quietly left with her parents.

Since then she’s been at home being cared for by her parents. They stay in the guest room they usually stay in when they come visit. They make sure Hyeri takes her medicines and she eats well. Her mother helps wash her and shampoo her hair, and her father makes sure she gets any and everything she needs whether it be a can of soup or a special edition neck massager with a few extra features than the one she already has.

She’d been wanting to talk to Yoongi or at least reach out, but she can’t bring herself to do so. Instead she continues following their tour as they make their way to London. Every appearance she can see that he’s not doing any better than when she watched their Las Vegas concert. If anything he looks worse now than before. She figures if she reaches out to him she’d only be distracting him as he said before, and that’s the last thing she wants to do.

But the sight of him is so heartbreaking.

Yoongi wanted to go straight to Seoul after hearing the news. He didn’t care about London or anything else, he just needed to get to Hyeri. The guys managed to talk him out of it because it was simply unreasonable for him to do without postponing their first show at least. Not to mention he and Hyeri are in some undefined relationship limbo and everyone was afraid that things may not go the way Yoongi wants if he suddenly showed up there.

When they arrived in London Yoongi spent any time not on a schedule in his room. He wanted to have one of his stashed drinks, but aside from his cash and Black card, his hidden bottles of liquor were also stolen. So he sat in his room sober and distraught.

He received a message from Hyeri’s mother letting him know that they took her home from the hospital. It seems they’re unaware of Yoongi and Hyeri’s complicated status right now. However, her mother mentioned that Hyeri wanted her to tell him that because she wasn’t able to get to her phone. Through it all, she still wanted him to know she was ok. She didn’t want him to worry. His mind is a mess and once again he finds himself buying bottles of alcohol and overindulging.

This isn’t quite like before. Before he wanted to be someone else so he wouldn’t feel the pain that comes with being himself. He wanted to do whatever he could just cause he could. He wanted to become someone who lived wild and free with no feelings about anything. Now he’s just drowning in those feelings he thought he could run from.

He doesn’t sneak out like he’d done before. He’s not looking for strangers to hook up with or bars he can spend a few hours in. He just stays in his room. Drinking and regretting so many things.

Why did he have to go so far overboard with his drinking? Would it be different if he had just answered her call? Why was she out so late on her own? For every question he has, he downs another drink. He could just reach out to her, but instead he’s too ashamed. Everything is fucked and he’s done a lot of things that don’t help the situation.

The guys are relieved that now they don’t seem to have to worry about Yoongi sneaking off to bars, but he’s still drinking just as much so they only feel a small bit of relief. They try to stay near him and monitor him, but they can’t do much when he closes himself up in his room alone.

Namjoon reached out to Hyeri to see how she’s doing. She tells him what happened during the accident and that her parents have been taking care of her. Then she immediately asks about Yoongi. He looked terrible in their last interview she watched and she knows he’s not ok. Namjoon admits to her that Yoongi hasn’t been doing well. He chooses not to mention the part about the blow jobs and robbery, but he tells her how he’s been struggling.

Namjoon encourages her to reach out to Yoongi again. He’s afraid Yoongi may not be strong enough to do it himself, especially since he’s drunk most of the time. At this point Namjoon and the rest of the guys are desperate to have Yoongi and Hyeri work things out so they don’t have to continue watching the heartbreaking deterioration of their brother. Hyeri isn’t sure she’d be able to say anything else to Yoongi. She can only try so much, but if he doesn’t want to talk to her while he’s on tour, what could she do?

Instead she remains in their shared apartment being cared for by her parents until Yoongi returns from tour. The thought of him coming home and being less than pleased to see her fills her with so much anxiety. She tries her hardest to think of something she could say to get him to talk to her. Something she could do to prove to him that she loves him more than anything and she only made a stupid mistake because she’s too scared and weak to speak up for herself.

Yoongi knew that they would still be on tour when Hyeri’s drama premieres so before he left home he had a delivery scheduled for the day of the premiere. Hyeri has been doing better since her accident, but those 2 weeks haven’t been enough for her to feel comfortable going out. So she sits at home and watches the cast and crew she spent so much time with arriving on the red carpet. She hates to miss the premiere for her first big role, but the only thing that hurts worse is Yoongi being in Japan and seemingly no closer to talking to her.

Yoongi can’t talk to anyone unless he has a contractual obligation to do so. Aside from that he closes himself off and continues drowning his sadness and despair in alcohol. He hates himself. He’s spent the entire tour hating himself for various reasons. Maybe she really does deserve Kihyun, or anyone else. Someone who isn’t such a fucking mess.

He was so upset with her. He blamed her for everything that plagued him during the tour. He wanted to spend that time resenting her because he felt it’s what she deserves after she’d hurt him. He resented her for not having the confidence to speak up for herself. He resented her for making him fall so deep in love that shit like this would hurt him so much. He resented her for not giving him the chance to erase her from his mind. He resented her for finally giving him the chance but getting into a car accident and thrusting herself back to the forefront of his brain. Now he resents her for having her name show up on his phone with a message.

Yoongi forgot all about the scheduled delivery he had set up. Hyeri had no idea he set it up before he left. She thought he had sent them as his way of saying he still cares although he’s still mad at her.

She took a picture of the extravagant bouquet of roses being carried by a large stuffed cat along with her favorite snacks and a gorgeous new designer purse then sent it to him thanking him and telling him she loves him and that once again she’s sorry for everything.

Yoongi groans at the message. This time he’s not upset about her contacting him when he last told her to stop fucking him up on tour. He’s upset because he feels terribly guilty. She doesn’t know about any of the intimate encounters he had throughout the tour, but his heart hurts as if she did. He’s not mad that he forgot to cancel the delivery, he’s mad because now it makes him look like a good person. He finishes off his bottle of sake convinced that he’s definitely not a good person.

Hyeri thought Yoongi’s gift would mean he would talk to her again. But she’s gotten nothing. He didn’t respond to her message. She gave him a day thinking he’s maybe busy or tired. But still nothing. She tried to message him again but still silence.

She doesn’t get it. What does he want from her? She starts to slip into sadness again and all she wants is to be alone. Somehow she convinced her parents that she’ll be fine on her own now. Yoongi will be back soon so they can go back home. They were understandably hesitant but eventually gave in and left for Gwangju.

Hyeri was alone again and for some reason, very scared. Scared that she may lose Yoongi for good. She pours herself a glass of wine and scrolls her phone. She’d been so deeply depressed that she never took time to see what people thought of the first episode of her drama.

She should have known that would be a terrible idea. She feared seeing comments from people saying ugly and hateful things, but she didn’t expect most of the chatter surrounding the show to be about Kihyun being a bad boyfriend.

Somehow, it was brought up how Kihyun was still keeping his schedule, even going to the premiere, when he should have been with Hyeri since she’s still recovering from her car accident. More people chimed in and started putting together a timeline of everywhere Kihyun had been since her accident. People weren’t talking about the show, they were dragging Kihyun when he hadn’t done anything at all.

Her glass of wine turned into the entire bottle. That bottle turned to a second. Now she’s in tears watching low quality streams of the guys’ final show in Japan. Yoongi still looks terrible. Every time she sees him it’s worse than the last. Maybe he saw the comments about Kihyun. She knows that wouldn’t help anything if he had a reminder of her fake relationship thrown in his face.

“Fuck!” She cries fed up with it all. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

She’s wine drunk and so fucking fed up. She feels just as bad as he looks and she’s at her limit. Her heart is shattered and she feels she has nothing to lose anymore. Nothing but the love of her life.

She drunkenly taps out a message on her phone then passes out in bed fully clothed. She only asked herself what would Yoongi do, and so she did it. The wine has her head swimming so she doesn’t even care what happens next. She just wants her Yoongi back.

The guys did a group live to mark the almost end of their tour. They still have their final show in Seoul, but decided to do a group live now since they fear they may not be able to once they’re home. Plus, Yoongi has been clearly bothered by the recent talk about Kihyun.

Yoongi saw it all. He had a few extra drinks and drunkenly apologized to Kihyun for him being caught up in all this bullshit. Kihyun isn’t the bad boyfriend. In Yoongi’s eyes he’s the bad boyfriend. The bad, weak, most terrible boyfriend on the planet.

Yoongi couldn’t say no to the group live. He tried to stay present in the moment, but he frequently zoned out. At times he wasn’t sure what anyone was saying. He stayed quiet unless someone spoke to him. The live was so he’d stay sober and supervised, but he’s more irritated and sad instead.

The live doesn’t go long. In the end they all retreat to their rooms, with Jimin following Yoongi to his. Jimin saw Hyeri’s message, but he knows Yoongi hasn’t. He doesn’t want Yoongi to be alone when he sees it. He doesn’t know if he’ll have a positive or negative reaction, but either way he wants to be by his side.

Jimin chats with Yoongi a bit claiming that he just wants to hang out. He isn’t sure how to bring up the message naturally, so he hopes Yoongi looks at his phone to see for himself.

They have a drink together and chat some more before Yoongi finally looks at his phone. He checks a few missed calls and clears some emails. Out of habit, he looks at Instagram and the first thing he sees is a message posted on Hyeri’s account.

Hi everyone, this is Rainbow. I want to say that I’m very grateful for everyone who has sent well wishes during my time in recovery. It truly means a lot to me.

To repay your kindness I would like to be honest with you all about something that has been weighing heavy on me for a while in hopes that it causes no more pain for those I care about.

Yoo Kihyun is a wonderful person with a kind heart and incredible talent. He has become a great friend to me, but that’s all he ever has been. I’m sorry that you all were led to believe that Kihyun and I were engaged in a romantic relationship when we have only ever been friends. I have realized that my inaction has caused pain to some who were hurt by this lie, but I will do anything I can to make things right.

I’m sorry to all of my fans and I ask your forgiveness. I promise to work hard to be someone deserving of your love.

I’m resting well and can’t wait to see you all again. Please be healthy. I love you.

🌈Rainbow

Yoongi stares at his phone unsure of what he’s seeing. He reads the message a second time, then tries to determine what any of this means. He can’t be sure, but he feels like she was talking to him directly. Why did she do this now? Did she make this statement on her own? In one of the many ignored texts from her she did mention that she tried to get the company to tell the truth but they wanted to wait until after the show’s premiere. Is that why she’s doing this now?

“Hyung,” Jimin says softly. “For what it’s worth, everyone is saying she didn’t talk to JJS before posting that.”

“She didn’t?” Yoongi asks in disbelief. “Are you sure?”

“I guess you could ask her when we get home tomorrow.”

Yoongi nods though he’s not sure he wants to go home at all. Reading her letter has done nothing but make him feel worse than he already does. He knows that couldn’t have been easy for her to do, and if she finally spoke up for herself, then all of the things he had done have just become a million times heavier. Despite wanting to run far away, he can’t do anything about their flight tomorrow that will see him returning home in the afternoon. Home to Hyeri.

Hyeri wakes up with a wine hangover and a ton of missed calls and messages. She thought it was all a dream, but looking at her phone proves it wasn’t. Kihyun is praising and thanking her for putting the truth out there. He also shared the notice he put on his account that confirmed everything she said and apologized again for misleading fans.

Her friends and family are proud of her, knowing this has all been taking a toll on her, although none of them know just how much her relationship with Yoongi has seemed to deteriorate. His family seems unaware as well when she reads the messages from them offering their support. It’s not until this moment that she remembers Yoongi will be home this afternoon.

What would he say when he comes home and sees her there? Will he be mad? Will he make her leave? Will he at least speak to her? Her mind is spinning with questions, but that becomes the least of her problems.

Her manager called to let her know that he was going to pick her up for an emergency meeting with the company. She wanted to get out of it. She tried to, but she had no choice. She washed up and left when her manager arrived ready to face the consequences of her drunken actions.

The meeting is held with Hyeri, her manager, the PR team for JJS, and someone from HR. She’s nervous and almost certain that she’s about to get dropped from her agency.

Her manager starts by reciting some bullshit company rules that she’s in no mood to listen to. He reminds her that she has to consult with them before putting out any statements to ensure everyone is on the same page. That pisses her off. They’ve done nothing but tell her what statements they were going to put out leaving her with no choice. That’s why she’s in this shit in the first place and that’s why she’s fed up.

“I can’t keep living a lie,” she says softly. “I told you guys what the truth was but you already made up your minds that you would keep rolling with this lie that you forced me and Kihyun into. Where is he anyway? Did you guys talk to him already?”

“We have a separate meeting scheduled with him,” the PR lead says.

“Why?” Hyeri’s voice rises a notch. “Why won’t you ever discuss things with us together? Is it because you think I’ll roll over and do whatever you say, unlike him who will fight back? You want me to agree to what you want then convince him to do the same?”

“We told you what the plan was, you only needed to let us execute it.”

“I’m not waiting!” She shouts. “You wanted to wait weeks after the show to tell the truth and then you wanted to spin it like we broke up. Do you know what you’re doing to us by doing that? Do you even care??”

“Hyeri,” her manager tries to get her to calm down.

“No!” She retaliates feeling the burn of her frustration come boiling over. “Did you even see the witch hunt against Kihyun? And for what?! A few extra viewers? Did you notice no one is talking about the fucking show because they’re so concerned about whether Kihyun is a good boyfriend or not? This lie is hurting him. It’s hurting me. And it’s hurting my actual fucking boyfriend who I’m not even sure is even my boyfriend anymore! I’m not waiting around for you guys to say something when this shouldn’t even be happening in the first place!”

“Hyeri please,” her manager says trying to calm her down.

“Do you guys even care about me?” Her tears begin flowing endlessly and she can’t control her emotions any longer. “Why was it so bad for me to admit to dating Yoongi, but telling a lie is better?” Her cries turn to full sobs and she’s clutching her chest. All of this pain for what? Losing the love of her life for what? “I don’t care what you decide to do, but I’m not going to lie to anyone any longer.”

[btsydtrash]

Daydream

Childhood sweethearts Hoseok x YN

(Author's note: This ended nicely however I could be tempted to write additons to it. I initially wanted this to be a sweethearts-to-enemies story but I like how it feels at this point. Also, this is my debut project to get back into writing lol. Please, don't kill me for making a whole new one-shot, but I wanted to grease my wheels again.)

In this story, Hoseok and YN are minors so there's no sexual content at all(!!) but they do have a lil chaste kissy kiss. Maybe I could do a time-skip for when they're in college or whatever, but that's only if ya'll want it lol!

Summer, 2004

“Hey, you know you aren’t supposed to do it that way, right?”

Hoseok glances up, eyes naturally squinting as the sun shines in his eyes. He puts up his hands, sticky with ice-cream from his snack, to shield his eyes. In front of him stands an equally-sticky girl. Her cheeks are covered in green ice-cream and her t-shirt has some melted chocolate all over the front. She’s missing a front tooth, clear from where she’s smiling brightly at him, and she seems a little sweaty, her hair sticking to her forehead in some places. Hoseok understands - it’s July, dead in the middle of summer time in Gwangju. It might as well be hell on Earth. 

Hoseok tilts his head to the side and his expression must show confusion as the girl scoffs. “That!”

She gestures to the sandcastle he was making in the sandbox.

“It’s a castle.” He murmurs.

She nods. “I know, I’m not a dummy.”

“So, what?”

She sighs and crouches down. “The poles aren’t high enough and the moat shouldn’t be this way.”

“But it’s my castle,” he says, pouting. “I want it to look like this.”

He’s lying, of course. He isn’t good with his hands but the girl teasing about his castle is making his upset. Who does she think she is?

The girl takes a second to look at his expression before she smiles, and it doesn’t hold any malice in it - only amusement. “Liar, liar, pants on fire.”

His cheeks burn, and it has nothing to do with the sun this time.

“Whatever,” he grumbles, moving to stand. “Do what you want.”

He moves to leave, no longer wanting to be around this stranger. He scans the playground to look for his dad, but he can’t spot him. No matter, he thinks. I’ll just find my own way home, like usual.

A hand on his wrist stalls his movements. “Hey, don’t go.”

He looks back at the girl and she looks chastised. She continues, “Shall we do it together? Your style and my style mixed together?”

He thinks for a moment before he nods, tentatively. “Okay.”

And that was the beginning.

Sometimes Hoseok thinks back to that day, their first meeting, and wonders if it was serendipity or an omen. Either way, he wouldn’t have changed it for a thing.

—

8 years later

“YAH! Jung Hoseok!”

Hoseok jerks at the familiar shrill sound of his best friend’s voice. He glances to the left from where he’s laying on the roof, needing a brief moment of silence and peace before his Korean history class, to see you. In your left hand, an empty bread wrapper. In your right hand, his backpack.

Hoseok sits up. “Oh, you found it?”

You glower at him, darkly. “You mean the bread I had been saving since this morning to eat during my break time? Yes. I found it.”

He smiles, small but real, and moves to his feet, throwing his arm over your lithe shoulders. “It was delicious.”

You elbow him in his stomach, making him wince. “You owe me after school.”

He takes his backpack out of your hand and throws it over his shoulder. “Yes, ma’am.”

“I mean it, Hobi,” you warn, trailing behind him. He grabs your shoulder and pulls you under his arm, leading you down the corridor to your shared class, listening to you scold him the entire time.

His heart clenches at the nickname. Only you call him that. And it makes him feel amazing every time. You made it in elementary school, randomly whispering it in his ear, and he’s still embarrassed to say he squealed in bed that night, thinking you had something special only for him.

Yes, yes. He has a crush on you. A huge one, actually. You are his first and only love. And, along with it, the literal bane of his existence. This is because you won’t leave him alone, no matter what he does. 

He has always been an underachiever at school. You, on the other hand, are a shining star, academically. You always score first or second in your year group, you are the class president and you are a member of four different teams. That hadn’t always been true though.

In elementary school, you had gotten into your fair share of fights for him. Hoseok had been skinny and poor, and he looked pitiful most days. The other boys would exclude or tease him, for being so close to you - a girl. They would call him gay or say he had mental instability. Then, you would come out and curse and scold them until they cried. One time, you even kicked a boy so hard in his face, you had broken his front tooth. You both got into so much trouble that day, but it remains his favorite memory of his childhood. The two of you, sitting with your arms raised in the principal’s office, covered in cuts and bruises, messy hair and dirt rubbed all over your clothes from the ensuing fight. You had glanced over at him and given him a private smile that said ‘I don’t regret a thing’, and he returned it with his own. ‘I’d do anything for you.’ He hoped you understood it then, and remember it as fondly as he does now. 

The only things Hoseok can do well are sports, and that’s because he has a hard-head. You come to all of his games, no matter where or when they are, even shirking your other responsibilities to support him. And, this just makes him love you that much more.

He feels like you value him. You support him. You show him so much love that it makes him squirm.

As someone who has been shown none of those things from his family, it was overwhelming at first. He tried to push his feelings away, smother them, kill them even, but it never worked. The feelings would build and build and build until he felt physically sick from the weight of them. At 13, he resigned himself to loving you for as long as he lived, but he knew nothing could come from it.

You were just too lovely for a loser like him.

So, he let himself be your best friend - the bestest best friend he could be. And, it has been a pleasant near-decade of friendship, for the most part.

Until now.

You seemed to have a crush yourself.

And, it was killing him inside.

He didn’t know who, but you had been acting weird these last few months. You did your makeup, changed your hair, stopped wearing glasses. All the cute things he thought were so perfect about you, you were steadily erasing and replacing with someone else. He still thought you were beautiful - actually, it’s been hard to even look you in your eyes - but knowing it was for some other idiot was driving him crazy.

He spends the class stealing glances at the side of your face, wondering how pretty you would be in a few years time. He wonders if he’ll be by your side to see what kind of butterfly you would turn into at that time, too. Or, maybe he will be replaced by someone else. Someone who could actually stand by your side with pride.

—

“Hobi,” you whisper into his ears. He woke up a while ago, but he keeps his eyes closed in order to feel you this close to him. His heart is racing in his chest and he feels queasy in the best way possible. “You shouldn’t sleep here.”

He grumbles a little and you move your hand to pat his chest comfortingly. “It’s cold, Hobi. Wake up and come inside.”

He had developed this habit of waiting outside of your apartment complex on one of the benches when he doesn’t want to go back home. Your parents are the kindest people on Earth, and they always let him in. They give him food, let his shower and even sleep on the couch a couple of times. He’s still a kid, so they probably think he’s pathetic but some days, he thinks he would do anything to stay out of his house. 

It just so happens that he loves being at your house. It’s so warm - just like you.

He wishes he could stay in this bubble for longer, pretending to be asleep so you’ll touch him all tenderly as you are doing. But, it’s cold, and he doesn’t want you to get sick, so he holds all his yearning in his chest and blinks open an eye.

“There you are,” you croon, softly, and then there you go, moving your hand away. He can barely catch the disappointment from appearing on his face. “Let’s go inside, hm?”

And, he trails behind you, like he always does.

A happy, stupid fool.

—

The crush you had on whoever was getting worse, and it was getting harder for him to hold back his frustration each time you gazed longingly out of the window or twisted the necklace he gave you for your thirteenth birthday around your fingers, thinking so deeply that your forehead creased.

He pushes his fingers between your brows to smoothen out the wrinkles and you blink back into clarity.

“Sorry, I was just-”

“Distracted,” he grumbles, pushing his egg-fried rice around on his place. He has no appetite, thinking of all the different guys this fucker could be.

You give him a small smile and go back to your own meal.

God, you were so pretty. Your hair falls into your face a little, so he pushes it behind your ear easily. His fingers barely touch your cheek but he feels electricity zing through his body at the small contact. He wants to cup your soft cheek in his hand, feel how warm your skin is for real, but he settles on just… pushing your hair back and turning his eyes to his plate.

He doesn’t see how red your cheeks burn as he looks away.

—

“YN, you should just tell him,” your friend, Kyunghee… (Kyeonghae? Kyeongmi?) says, and her tone of voice makes Hoseok freeze in his tracks. The girls are in the corridor outside of the girls’ bathroom, and he is going to meet you to walk you to your shared fourth period class. But, something about what your friend is saying makes a pit of anxiety open up in his stomach.

He stands with his back to the wall, hidden from sight, but within hearing distance. He knows it’s wrong but Hoseok can’t help himself. It’s like he’s dying to know but can’t bear the truth either.

“I don’t know…”

You sound so unsure, so nervous, so different from what he knows you to be like, that it makes him sick.

“What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

So, this is what you were talking about. Your crush. He bites his lip so hard that he can taste blood.

“I don’t know what I would do,” you continue on, and it sounds like you are seconds away from crying. Crying over some fucker who isn’t him. His fists clench by his side and he realized that his eyes, too, are stinging.

“Isn’t it better to tell him and get it off your chest?” Your other friend, Sana (Sara? Suha?) says, and he wants to put her head through the wall.

No. It wouldn’t be better. She shouldn’t say anything to anyone about any feelings she may or may not have!

“I think…” You pause, and he holds his breath. “I think I’m in love with him.”

And just like that, Hoseok feels part of himself die right then and there.

—

He doesn’t disappear like he wants to. He diligently walks you to your fourth period class, he sits beside you as he always does, he stares ahead with an intensity so strong that the teacher asks him if he’s alright three different times.

But, he doesn’t speak to you.

In fact, he doesn’t even look at you.

And, he can tell he’s hurting you. however, he can’t help it.

You hurt him first.

Yes, he knows you didn’t mean to. And he knows you probably can’t help how you feel either. But he’s hurting inside, so badly that he thinks he might suffocate. As soon as his last class lets out, he’s rushing out of his seat, out of the classroom and he’s walking back home at a pace so fast, he doesn’t realize his thighs are rubbed raw until he takes a shower later that night before bed.

It’s only when he knows he’s alone, when his dad is gone doing only God knows what, that he finally lets himself cry. 

And he cries all night, even in his sleep, over you.

—

Your relationship becomes strained after that.

You notice it almost immediately. Hoseok stops waiting for you after class, he stops miraculously bumping into your in the corridors, he stops smiling at you through the windows of the class when he takes bathroom breaks.

Instead, there seems to be a wall of ice between the two of you, and you have no idea where it came from.

You try to corner him, to confront him about it, because you deserve an explanation, damn it, but he just weasels his way out of it by hooking onto someone else’s backpack and claiming to be meeting them for dinner or outpacing you with his stupidly long legs.

And, as much as it pains you to say it, you can’t just go to his apartment because you don’t know where he lives.

Over a decade of friendship and he has never invited you over to his place.

You aren’t even sure which area he lives in, even though you both had the bus together every afternoon after school since you were thirteen.

He has always been very private about his life, you wanted to respect his wishes, even if it felt like he didn’t trust you. You try not to personalize it - to not make it about you, but it had been hard, especially considering how open you are with him about everything.

Well, almost everything.

Still, this weirdness has to stop, and soon.

You watch Hobi walk out onto the baseball field in his team uniform. While you were inside studying, Hobi was outside being the shining star of your school’s sports’ team. He’s always been talented with his body and athletics, even if he constantly talked down on his skills. You knew he would be a great fit for the baseball and basketball team, so when you pushed him to go try-out, you knew he would shine. And you were right.

He doesn’t look back up to the window like he usually did to smile and wink at you, and it makes your lips draw down in a deep frown.

Did you do something to him? Did you upset him somehow?

Or… Did he find out?

You blanche at the thought.

But, you had been so careful. He couldn’t know.

Nervously, you gnaw at your thumb nail and feel your forehead furrow in a deep frown. You didn’t know how you could salvage this situation with your childhood best friend, but you know you couldn’t stand this uncomfortable stiffness between the two of you anymore.

Hours later, Hobi changes into his sneakers and tosses his school shoes into his locker. He closes the locker to see you standing directly to his right and it nearly scares the life out of him.

“Fuc- YN! Don’t do that,” he scolds, clutching his hand over his racing heart.

On the other hand, your heart is racing for a different reason. Seeing him look at you for the first time in weeks is making you incredibly nervous. So, you steel your expression and growl, “Follow me.”

“YN…”

You stall on your heel and glare over your shoulder. “Do not piss me off. Follow. Me. Hoseok.”

Fearfully, Hoseok clamps his mouth shut and faithfully trails behind you until you reach the park near your school. You walk far into the park, until you can just barely see the street, and turn to face him.

“Spill,” you command.

He avoids your eyes and shoves his hands in his pocket. “Dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Do I look stupid to you?”

He gives you a brief look that reads, Yeah, kinda, dummy, before he returns his eyes to the space behind you.

You approach him but he takes one small step back, and that’s enough to stab at your heart.

“Hobi… Did I do something to you?”

He flinches and swallows, his expression growing pained for a moment before smoothing out into nothingness again.

“No,” he replies. “I just- This is a bit… I just want to make new friends.”

It all tumbles out at the end, like a flood of water that he can’t hold back, and if you felt hurt before, now it feels like he’s punched a hole in your chest.

“I never stopped you from making friends, Hobi,” you mutter, eyes stinging. “Did I?”

You really can’t be sure.

His lips pucker, strangely, like he’s sucking on something sour. Finally, he admits, “A little…”

“How?”

You gasp a little, your throat tight and thick, and your eyes are practically on fire.

“You… YN, you and I are always together,” he explains. He starts pacing then, as if he can’t keep himself still. “It’s me and it’s you, and it’s us. Nobody can come between that. So, of course I never made friends. Nobody wanted to talk to me or be around me, and I never needed anyone else. But now… I just feel like we don’t need to be… We should… I need… I need space, dummy.”

Biting down on what you wanted to say, you let out a shuddering breath and nod. “I understand.”

But the voice doesn’t sound like yours anymore. It’s all garbled and wet and weird.

Hoseok seems to notice too because he stops pacing instantly.

“YN…?”

You glance up and he takes a shocked step back before wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you in close. You are pressed tightly against his chest and all you can see or smell is him.

“I didn’t mean it, don’t cry,” he whispers all at once. “I was being mean. I’m so sorry. Please, don’t cry.”

He’s whispering things over and over again, but you can’t really hear anything over the sound of his racing heartbeat. It’s so loud, it almost deafens you. Hoseok sits you both down on a bench and wraps you up nice and tight, swaying from side to side and patting your back until all the choked sobs have worked their way out.

He wipes your face with his sleeve, waving off your worries of mascara stains. “I’ve got a washing machine, dummy.”

You giggle, but it still sounds so wet and inhuman that it makes you both grimace.

“Can I tell you the truth, YN?

You peer up at him through wet lashes, but he isn’t looking at you. He’s staring ahead, and his side profile is so handsome, it takes your breath away. He’s always been so pretty to you.

“The reason I can’t be around you anymore is because I fucked up,” he admits, running a hand through his hair. It surprises you deeply as Hoseok rarely ever swears around you. He seems frustrated, nervous and scared. “I… I promised we would always be together, right?”

You nod.

“We both promised, right?”

You nod again.

He turns to look at you this time, and now he’s the one with watery eyes and flushed cheeks. “I don’t want to be your friend anymore.”

He takes in a deep, shaky breath. “I haven’t for a long time, YN.”

“So…”

“I’m in love with you,” he says in a quiet whisper. The wind carries his words to your ears so delicately that it almost feels as if you imagined it. You stare, dumbly, at him while his ears pink under your gaze. He shrinks on himself and bites his bottom lip. “I told you I fucked up.”

“Then I think I fucked up too,” you admit after a long pause. You reach for his face, holding his cheeks between your shaky palms. “I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve.”

His eyes widen until they are incredibly large, and then he’s kissing you. It isn’t hot and angry and wild like you had dreamed. It isn’t soft and chaste like you read about in books. It isn’t sloppy and wet like the girls told you it could be.

It’s warm and firm, like Hoseok always has been. He holds the back of your neck in his hand and moves his other hand to rest on your hip lightly. Hoseok pulls back to press his nose against yours and then pecks you twice on your lips, eyes fluttering closed. Then, he rests his forehead against your own and the two of you just… wait.

“I’m not dreaming, am I?”

You let out a giggle then, and shake your head, pulling back slightly. “Not at all, dummy.”

*end*

[pumpkinbomb]

𝜗𝜚 kang junhwi (강준휘) 𝜗𝜚 twenty-four 𝜗𝜚 lesbian, cis, she/her 𝜗𝜚 retail (electronics) store manager 𝜗𝜚 a bright smile and cold, dead eyes… the lasting effects of six years in retail. whether junhwi notices or not, her customer care voice takes over pretty often, giving an uncanny, fake feeling during conversation with people he doesn't know well yet. she can snap out of it, she just needs to realize she's doing it.

birthday: june 6th, 2000. age: 24. orientation: homosexual zodiac: gemini. dragon. mbti: intj. hometown: gwangju metropolitan area, south korea languages: korean (native), japanese (intermediate) english (conversational)

the good and the bad, which are which? easygoing, outspoken, sarcastic, cynic, domineering. observant, curious. detached. mature when she needs to, but chaotic and unpredictable, crass, even. odd, always thinks outside the box. shameless. unapologetically cringe at times. nerd, gamer. monster energy fiend. smoker. can be perceived as cold, but she's very caring and empathetic. likes physical touch more than she lets on. she can and will be mean with those who wrong her or anyone she cares about. mom friend to some.

𝜗𝜚 background

kang junhwi's always been a city girl, one with a very average life. while conventionally pretty and generally charming, she's always being considered... weird. some thoughts are supposed to stay inside, jun-ah... her mom's voice still resonates– well, she's not dead, so it's not like junhwi doesn't still hear it now and again. it's not terrible thoughts, nothing vile... but concerning, probably. so, around strangers, junhwi can seem like a robot, taking long pauses to stop herself from just letting her tongue run wild and say whatever nonsense comes to her. how did she learn? the lasting effects of six years in retail. whether junhwi notices or not, her customer care voice takes over pretty often, giving an uncanny, fake feeling during conversation with people he doesn't know well yet. she can snap out of it, she just needs to realize she's doing it and find the right balance between regulating her thoughts and acting like a computer running on windows '98. but that's exactly why she immediately jumped at the opportunity to join seoulmates. if she's often told she's amusing and she's not shy about it... why not share with with the world? plus, the prospect of being around pretty girls, making friends, making them laugh, getting to know them... yeah. it was a no brainer. especially with how hard it is to meet people and make genuine connections. a reality show might be an unconventional way to try and find something like that but... junhwi's nothing if not daring. other than her day job, she dabbles with streaming her gameplays, but she isn't very consistent as it's just a hobby for her. she's very good at shooter, stealth and jrpgs– the main reasons why she knows a bit of english and japanese. when it comes to her romantic endeavors there's a handful of them and only two of them were serious. while she's sure of her sexual orientation and has had a fair share of experience, she has yet to figure out what she truly wants. it might make things complicated, this uncertainty, but junhwi can't tell if she wants to fall in love or if she's still finding herself.

𝜗𝜚 wanted connection/plots (will expand more later on) unless otherwise specified, all connections could flourish into anything, or nothing at all.

─ the middle/high school crush. like most, junhwi's realization that she liked girls was... slow. maybe it cannot even be considered realization, since at the time, she would stare, infatuated, thinking she was dealing with a serious case of envy that made it hard to breathe and had her stomach doing weird turns. only when she figured things out later on did everything click. to find her again here is mortifying, wondering just how badly she embarrassed herself back then. definitely a humbling moment now.

─ the baby. junhwi's doesn't believe motherly instinct is a thing, but when this person is around, she gets so much cute aggression and it's hard to contain! while the feelings are entirely platonic, they are strong and she would do anything to make sure they are safe and content. physical appearance and age don't matter but works best with someone cutesy/bubbly or nervous, someone who would be okay being babied.

─ the soulmate. platonic or romantic, confusing or straightforward: there's no doubt junhwi's met her match. they bounce jokes off each other, they complete each other's sentences. each other's ride or die, the spark is so obvious. maybe they don't like exactly the same things, but it doesn't matter, they can be in comfortable silence together anytime, any day.

─ the princess. there is something about this girl that makes junhwi act a fool. be it her beauty or the way they conduct themselves, she simply cannot look away nor be casual about it. whether anything blossoms or not, junhwi's trying to catch this person's attention with acts of service, jokes and time together, eventually calling her "princess" or "majesty" for shit and giggles, unless...

─ the rival. calling it a rivalry is ridiculous, sure, but since junhwi's on the sillier side most of the time, someone who's all about facts and logic would get under her skin so easily. and maybe they get along, but when junhwi starts babbling about some impossible scenario, only to be pointed in the direction of facts and logic... let's just say she's not above going full on childish.

ooc: always open to plot and brainstorm for any other sort of connections/plots. nsfw plot friendly but everything with proper discussion. ic drama is okay within reason, if i feel it's getting out of control i will reach out ooc to check how to proceed.

[seras-elessar]

Where to start with Han Kang

Han Kang (한강) received the 2024 Nobel Prize for literature and people have asked me, a librarian, where to start.

Start with Human Acts (2014, 소년이 온다) it's a deeply moving portrayal of a massacre and its aftermath during the Gwangju (광주광역시) uprising in 1980, following both the living and the dead. It's poetic and gripping, very intimate in its portrayal.

Then see what else is translated to your language or available at your library. Examples under the cut.

(Also if your library doesn't have any of these titles, please put in a request with a librarian. We like those!)

I've heard great things about We do not part (2021, 작별하지 않는다) but I haven't had a chance to read it yet. Greek Lessons (2011, 희랍어 시간) and The White Book (2016, 흰) have also reviewed well.

Her most popular work, The Vegetarian (2007, 채식주의자) is not one I recommend in general because it can be a very difficult read. It's one I've held in my hands and thought "no, not now" many times. According to friends who read it it's visceral, violent, angry and disgusting, all in as positive of a meaning as possible. They loved it but maintains that it was a difficult book to read.

The English translation of her work has been criticised for Europeanisation of the text, in that the tone and style is so different that it could be a different work entirely. While I think the translation transforms the work in all cases they can be to a less or more extent. This criticism is nothing to brush away though, as it's not just grammatically it seems to have failed. According to critics a lot of US American prejudices about Korean people snuck their way in. As for now I and many others have to read Han Kang in the English translation, or a translation from English to our language. I look forward to the Swedish translation from the original Korean.

[your--isgayrights]

Hi idk if anyone has asked this before but do you think there are thematic implications to Sangah liking works from Murakami Haruki, Raymond Carver, Han Kang.

Yeah, I'm not super familiar with all of the authors myself but I did some basic research while writing Wall fic so I have an opinion about this. First of all, the internationality of these picks shows YSA is well read, but this different kind of well read than KDJ. Her interest in international literature is somewhat connected to her backstory of being from a richer family that wanted to marry her off in my mind bc international language education is somewhat status/wealth associated in modern South Korea. Second of all the kinds of authors she picks out are the type who write singular, artistic works that tend to start from a point of realism and make a comment about the characters' navigation of Society. So the type of reading she's doing isn't sitting down and obsessively following a 3000 chapter webnovel that can only exist through the conglomeration of niche trope after niche trope to be completely understood. I see her as a girlie who like. Will check the new York times best seller list and just buy or check out a new book to read if she hears good things. So this authors of singular works and short stories being her favorite shows she doesn't really follow extensive Series, she's not the type who needs constant updates to keep on living lol. She's the type who occasionally read novels for literature classes which graduated to occasionally reading novels in her free time. Not saying that she reads popular novels just to seem cultured like mister 'art of war on my desk' but I think she is someone who can see opening a book like stumbling upon a television program that just happens to be on you know it's not a major time commitment or something that will rewire her brain and then she'll have thoughts about language use and literary opinions you know.

Then the one author I'm more familiar with is Han Kang and I actually didn't remember her being listed by YSA but you're probably right and I just forgot bc I know Han Kang from reading the Vegetarian more than I know her from being referenced in ORV I guess lol. Han Kang is a popular modern author in South Korea who has both been somewhat of an icon for feminism (I think?) And is definitely a representative of the Trauma literature movement. She grew up in Gwangju and lived through the aftermath of the Gwangju uprising (the people suffered violent oppression and censorship under leadership at the time) and in an interview she once described herself as someone who writes to ask questions instead of answer them. The Vegetarian is an example of a work of hers that starts off very ingrained in reality and slowly becomes surreal in a way that could still exist in the real world but could be interpreted as containing fantasy elements. I think it's interesting to me to draw parallels to YSA here bc the vegetarian is a story about a traumatized woman being controlled and used by other people. Spoilers for the vegetarian I guess but the main character decides to be vegetarian one day without a 'societally acceptable' reason and this 'embarrasses' the people around her so much that they try to force her to change. After she is abused by her husband, father, and brother in law, this experience is held parallel to something she experienced as a child, when she was friends with a small dog and then the dog bit her. Local folk medicine said killing and eating the dog was the only way to cure sickness from a dog bite and she felt no remorse as everyone agreed the dog must be eaten. Forgetting 'the natural order' revokes the rights of personhood or humanity, when the main character of the Vegetarian descends into a psychosis trying to escape participating in the violence of the world around her by 'becoming a plant,' it's shown at the end how even her own sister struggles to see her as a person who can still be spoken with or make her own decisions. So yeah it's pretty fucked up and I have some more specific opinions on it ( like I've written essays about it) but as it relates to YSA the Vegetarian is very much about the POV of outsiders following another person's struggles which I find a very interesting in parallel to YSA leafing through KDJ's memories as his wall librarian. I also think her familiarity with trauma literature as a genre may be off-putting to KDJ specifically because these realistic type stories with a bit of fiction are quite similar in genre to the book his own mother wrote, in fact I find it extremely likely that in the world of ORV YSA read LSK's book somewhere before. I think they're also not the kind of books that get overly silly/ have a 'happy ending' by convention, which is interesting to me bc I see passivity vs agency as an important theme concerning YSA's arc throughout the story and whether or not she has an ability to create a happy ending or not is interesting. Like the little 'you knew??' moment in the epilogues is very important bc YSA and KDJ come from this same 'real world' and because of that neither of them really expected a Happy Ending you know. I like that YSA goes through the journey of beginning to Believe in it before KDJ comes back bc you know it shows that perspective can be changed before we even get to him it's really good.

[fairyniceyeah]

🌹🩵 I'm under cold rain again

Title from Take me down (The Rose)

Summary: After a week of vacation with his parents Hajoon is ready to see his members again. But instead he is sick, a few hours away, alone and the security guards are more than rude to him. All he wants to be is home.

CW: emeto, kind of public emeto, idol mistreatment

Sickie: Hajoon/Dylan Caretaker: /

Never had Hajoon thought that a week of vacation could end so horribly.

They had all taken a week off to spend time with their families. Jaehyeong hadn’t seen his parents who lived in Samcheok for some time now and, considering their work, the drive down to Busan was way too long for Dojoon to just casually go see his. A flight to America for just a week wouldn’t have made sense, so Woosung had decided to visit his grandparents. And Hajoon had gone home to his family in Gwangju.

It really had been an amazing time he had spent with his parents - despite their fights in his teenage years Hajoon did love his parents a lot. They had grown closer the further apart they were and now as an adult Hajoon appreciated them a lot. So it had been great to spend a whole week just with his parents and they even had taken time off to be together the whole time. 

While he missed his members Hajoon was a bit sad to let his parents go again but he knew that much longer than a week would end up with petty disagreements again.

🌹

Yet the day had come that they traveled back to Seoul, so he and his travel protectors were waiting at the station with a few other people for the bus that was running late. He had said his goodbyes to his parents already at home so they hadn’t had to take the whole day off when he left in the middle of the morning. The two security guards were immersed in a conversation and Hajoon, for the first time that day, had the time to breathe.

There was a headache pulsating in his head since yesterday evening, the reason why he had overslept and therefore had already started the day with stress. His mother actually had to wake him which had nearly ended in a fight because he had accidentally snapped at her before swiftly apologizing. There was a dull sense of nausea in his stomach, had been since he had woken up. What was more concerning to him, however, was the lump in his throat that stopped him from swallowing down the accumulating saliva in his mouth and which seemed to move up every time he tried. 

He could have ignored all of that if he wasn’t full on sweating even though he was freezing and he could tell that his hands were trembling. He had looked pale that morning when he had glanced in the mirror for like two seconds.

Great, not even on the bus yet and he was already miserable. He had taken the motion sickness pill he would need to get through the drive but it seemed to not help against the nausea he was experiencing now. 

Why did he have to feel so off now? Surrounded by strangers and security guards he wasn’t even sure knew his name waiting on a delayed bus of all things. 

For a moment he considered calling one of his members, desperately needing to hear a familiar voice but what could they do? They were about four hours away from him. His parents had done enough for him in the past week, so he didn’t want to bother them. Besides, he had to get back to Seoul no matter what.

Hajoon swallowed again. This time the funny feeling in his throat went up to new heights and for a second he was convinced he was about to puke right then and there. Taking a deep breath he was able to calm down the sensation for a bit but not himself.

He needed space and privacy, now.

“I need to use the bathroom”, he muttered to the security guards who were dressed like normal citizens to not draw any attention to them. One of them rolled his eyes. 

“The bus will be here soon”, he said, annoyance in his voice. Hajoon wasn’t sure what their names were either, they had never introduced themselves when they were hired for just this trip. 

Hajoon also wasn’t sure why hiring two security guards was less expensive than a rental car since his own had broken down a week before but it had been a decision he couldn’t influence. So they had relaxed at a hotel for a week while he was with his family. What a cozy job.

At first Hajoon had been too afraid to ask the guards' names when they hadn’t introduced themselves and then it would have been awkward to ask their names three days down the line. So he had been calling them One and Two in his head. It was weird to say the least but what could he do? Hajoon’s mindset was switching between hating how socially awkward he was and questioning why he had thought that a job where he constantly had to meet new people was the right thing for him knowing fully well just how socially awkward he was. 

“Please”, Hajoon said, coming close to begging them, “I’ll go on my own, surely you can ask the driver to wait for a second. I really need to go.”

“Fine. I’ll go with you, we ain’t losing our job because you wandered off on the last day”, One said, equally irked. 

Hajoon shrunk under his gaze but he was too intimidated to argue. Besides, he was feeling really sick and getting away from the other people was his priority. 

If he truly had to throw up Hajoon wanted to make it to the bathroom to be sick in peace, without an audience. He was terrified that he was actually sick - a three hours drive away from home and in the company of the most uncaring people he ever had had the misfortune of working with. There was nothing he could do, however, stomach throwing a fit and his body hating him. 

So he nodded and swiftly turned around to walk to the restrooms hidden around a corner behind the ticket shop as fast as possible. He didn't have time to check if anybody was following him or not.

Rushing had not been the right decision, upsetting his stomach even more. He barely made it around the corner before - without any warning - his body forced him to stop and double over. He didn't have a chance to stop it and a mouthful of vomit splattered onto the ground below him. Dumbfounded, he stared down at it, not quite comprehending what had just happened. 

Then it hit him - he had just thrown up at a bus station, alone with two unsympathetic security guards, hours away from Seoul.

Fuck.

“You gotta be kidding me”, One cursed.

“I’m sorry”, Hajoon whispered, frozen on the spot with one hand pressed to his mouth. 

Had that really just happened? At least nobody was there to see except One. 

“You need to puke again?”, he asked roughly. 

Hajoon shook his head. His stomach still felt weird and unsettled but the feeling in his throat had gone away. Small mercies. 

“Good, ‘cause we ain’t nurse-maids."

Embarrassed by the small, yellowish puddle on the ground but too overwhelmed to do anything about it, Hajoon followed the security guard back to the station. One quickly conversed with Two, who threw him an angry glance and huffed.

Hajoon couldn't help but shrink into himself, shivering in the cold air. He just wanted to be home.

As if hearing his prayers, the bus appeared in the distance and One ushered him into a seat while Two went to store their bags. 

Luckily the bus was rather empty except for an older lady and a young family. 

Hajoon sank down on the window seat, completely exhausted and close to tears. This was not about to be a fun drive. One seemed to agree with him on that account and shoved a plastic bag at him before taking his own seat in the row in front of Hajoon. He was quickly joined by Two and the bus took off.

More than a bit mortified, Hajoon pushed the bag into the side pocket of his backpack and tried to make himself more comfortable. Shivering in the cold bus, Hajoon pulled his jacket tighter around himself and leaned against the window. His forehead, unlike the rest of his body, seemed to be burning. The cold glass helped until the bus started to shake too much and his head painfully collided with the window. Tears were burning in his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He would not humiliate himself any further.

🌹

The drummer's phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out to check. There was a message from Dojoon and desperate for a bit of comfort he quickly opened it.

Dojoon (10:48): Morning! Are you on your way back yet? Hajoon (10:49): Yes

For a moment he contemplated if he really should say something about his condition, making his best friends worry when they couldn’t do anything to help. But he was feeling so alone, so sick and he just wanted to be comforted. Even if it was just via Kakao.

Hajoon (10:51): Hyung, I don’t feel good

There was no message from Dojoon for a few minutes and Hajoon just tried to stay calm and not burst into tears.

Dojoon (11:02): Sorry, I just came back home myself and was unpacking. What’s wrong? Hajoon (11:02): I threw up  Dojoon (11:03): Oh, baby. I’m so sorry you’re feeling bad. Anything I can do? Hajoon (11:04): Can I call you? Dojoon (11:04): Certainly!

Hajoon was glad the older member agreed, just staring at his phone screen was making him feel quite queasy. Quickly he pulled up his hyung’s contact and pressed the call button. It didn’t even take two beeps until the call went through.

“Hi, Joon-ah”, Dojoon greeted on the other end. Hajoon had to press his fingernails into his palms so he wouldn’t burst into tears after just hearing his voice. He would give anything to hug his hyung right now. Or Woosung. Or Jaehyeong.

“Hey.” His voice didn't come out as confident as he would have liked and Dojoon certainly picked up on that. Besides, his hyung wasn’t stupid, he knew Hajoon wasn’t the type to cry wolf so something actually was wrong.

“What’s happened?”, Dojoon asked, concerned. His voice was so soft and comforting. Hajoon wanted to be at home, right now.

“Hyung”, Hajoon whispered, “The bus was late, we were waiting for so long, I am freezing cold and a bit damp from the rain. I didn’t even make it to the bathrooms at the station. I don't know what's wrong with me.”

"That sounds miserable, baby. I’m so sorry. And you got sick before you even entered the bus?", Dojoon clarified, sounding so very worried.

"Hm." Hajoon hummed in agreement. He didn't particularly want to re-live that moment in his mind again. He still couldn’t quite wrap his mind around it.

“So, it’s not just motion sickness?”, Dojoon asked and Hajoon shook his head before remembering that Dojoon couldn’t see him. Dojoon couldn’t see him, because Dojoon was about 300 kilometers away from him.

That’s when the tears fell and he quietly sobbed into the receiver.

“I think I’m running a fever too. I really don’t feel good”, he whispered. He didn’t want to be glared at by the security guards, who already seemed to have forgotten his existence. Neither did he want to get noticed by any of the other travelers.

“Oh, Joon-ah. I wish I could do anything to help you”, Dojoon sighed. Hajoon knew he was telling the truth. As much as Dojoon could be a loud and wild bother, he really cared about his members. 

“Talking with you helps”, Hajoon mumbled, wiping at his eyes. 

“I’m glad. Do you have any medication? Are the guards taking good care of you?"

“I took the motion sickness pill but I don’t think it helps. I do have my migraine medication but I don't think it's a migraine and I don't want to end up completely knocked out in public.” He skirted around the other question but Dojoon couldn’t be fooled.

“Yeah, I don't think that would be a good idea", his hyung agreed, "And the security? Do they have anything to help?”

“No.” Well, Hajoon wasn't going to ask. The less contact where they could belittle him and make him feel shit about himself the better.

“Are they at least nice?”

Hajoon glanced between the seats and saw that both of them had earphones in and were on their phones. They didn't seem to care that he was their responsibility. Still, he didn’t want to seem ungrateful. They weren’t paid to be nice or take care of a sick adult, they were there to protect him and they did. 

There was just nothing they could protect him from.

“Not really”, Hajoon settled on saying. He didn’t want to lie to Dojoon and he felt like he deserved to complain a bit. 

“Oh, baby. I'm sorry you're having such a miserable time”, Dojoon cooed. His tone would be patronizing in any other situation, it should have been in this too. But it wasn’t.

“Hyung, I just wanna be home”, Hajoon whispered.

“I know, I want you here too. Woosung should be back from his grandparents, too, any … oh speaking off. Hey, Sammy, glad you’re back. Hm, it’s Hajoon, he’s not feeling good. Hold on, I’ll put us on speaker”, Dojoon said and then the familiar voice of his oldest hyung came through: “Hi, baby, what’s wrong? I miss you.”

“Miss you too, hyung”, Hajoon replied, “I think I got a stomach bug or something. I threw up a bit.”

“Oh, that’s miserable”, Woosung said, sounding genuinely sorry, “how long until you’re back?”

“Three hours, give or take.”

“That’s not so long, you’ll be with us soon. Actually, around that time I agreed to pick up Jeff from the train station. Leo, can you?”, Woosung asked, voice full of regret.

“Of course I’ll pick my favorite drummer up”, Dojoon agreed readily, making Hajoon giggle a bit.

“I’m really sorry, Hajoon-ah”, Woosung cut in then, “but I’ve been driving non-stop and I really need to use the bathroom. Call me if you want to though. Bye.” Hasty footsteps were heard and Dojoon started to laugh.

“You would have had the time of your life seeing him potty-dancing like that”, Dojoon commented and Hajoon had to smile a bit at the mental image. Then Dojoon’s voice got louder: “Yes, you did! Just go, dumbass.”

Hajoon burst into wet giggles at that.

“Now, that’s better”, Dojoon commented and for a moment they were silent.

“Tell me about your time with your parents? How was Busan?”, Hajoon asked, “Distract me.”

Immediately Dojoon launched into storytelling about everything that had happened the past week. The good Italian restaurant they had been at. Meeting old school friends. The seagull that had stolen his fries. While it all was very entertaining Hajoon kept yawning. He was so tired. Even if his motion sickness didn’t translate into more than the nausea he was feeling anyway, it still made him tired.

As he yawned again, Dojoon stopped in the middle of a story about … ice cream? Hajoon wasn’t sure.

“Why don’t you try to close your eyes and sleep? Maybe when you wake up you’re already here”, Dojoon suggested, “I promise, I will meet you at the bus station and take you home, okay?”

Sleeping through the whole drive sounded like a dream - pun intended. Hajoon was so tired anyway and if he didn't have to be conscious until Dojoon was there to give him one of his bear hugs, Hajoon was fine with it.

“I will try, hyung”, Hajoon replied, “promise you will be there?” Hajoon really didn’t care that he sounded like a child right now.

“Promise”, Dojoon said, “close your eyes. It’s only two and a half hours and I will be there. Call any of us if you need anything or just want to talk. Love you, baby.”

“Thanks, hyung. Love you, too. Bye”, Hajoon replied to the seldomly used but always felt words.

“Bye. Sleep well.”

Hajoon opened his bag to search for his headphones, ignoring the crinkling of the plastic bag he really hoped he wouldn’t have to use. When he found the headphones he quickly connected them to his phone, putting on his comfort playlist. It consisted to the biggest part of their own songs and some songs by other groups – mainly those the groups had written for their fans or members like #LoveStay, Star 1117 and Circles. They all included messages of hope and love and comfort. Something Hajoon really needed right now. Just hearing his leader's voice in his ears comforted him despite making him miss Woosung even more.

Despite freezing to the core the drummer managed to curl himself into a small ball, legs pulled up onto the seat next to him. He didn’t really care that it was forbidden, he just really needed the added warmth and comfort. He rested his head against the backrest and closed his eyes.

🌹

He hadn’t expected to be able to actually fall asleep. Normally he never was somebody who was able to fall asleep while driving - a mix of motion sickness and general discomfort. He would try and shift around until he gave up.

So when he woke up he was very disoriented - not sure where, how or why he was. Then the nausea hit. 

Hajoon gagged against his hand, suddenly wide awake in his panic. He didn’t want to be sick. Especially not on a bus without anybody to rub his back or help him when needed. But he wasn’t given a choice and since he didn’t want to throw up all over himself he frantically opened his backpack to rip out the plastic bag.

As soon as he had managed to open it he shoved his head inside, burping loudly. If he wasn’t feeling so wretched he would be embarrassed. Right now, all he wanted was to stop feeling so sick. 

Tasting the sourness of bile on his tongue, he gagged violently again, eyes watering. This couldn’t be happening. He burped a second time, the noise echoing back at him.

Yet nothing would come up. He could only stare at the empty bottom of the half-see through bag and pray for death. 

Despite everything Hajoon nearly wished he would throw up then. He had been feeling so ill for so long and getting out the mouthful of vomit at the bus station had not helped at all. At least if he got it out now, he might feel better physically. But that wasn’t happening, apparently.

Still, his body seemed to fight itself. While his mouth and throat kept making him miserable, his stomach seemed to want to hold onto its contents. 

This was torture.

🌹

A few minutes of silent tears and nearly unbearable nausea later, some higher deity seemed to have mercy on him. The bus started to slow down and as Hajoon dared to look up he saw that they were pulling into a gas station.

"We're taking a fifteen minute break, be back by 12:08", the driver announced. Hajoon wasted no time. As soon as the doors were open he stumbled past the stunned guards and down the stairs to the outside. 

He pressed his back flat against the side of the bus, just trying to breathe in the fresh air. It did help. Not by a lot but the shock of cold had him more awake.

Light rain was spraying down but he was mostly protected by standing on the right side of the bus, shielded from the wind. The weather also meant that nobody really paid attention to him, not many people were out and, those that were, were more focused on themselves.

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply only to get interrupted by one of the security guards. Hajoon winced, squinting. It seemed to be Two.

"Do you need to use the bathroom?", he asked gruffly, “I’m going over there now. Your chance.”

Hajoon shook his head. Being out of the stuffy bus really helped the nausea a lot and he didn’t actually need to use the toilet.

"Right, just don’t complain. You can stay out here in the rain until we leave if you want", Two announced and left.

🌹

Weak-feeling and with trembling limbs, Hajoon squatted down as he didn't quite feel like he could keep standing. But he would have to go back into the bus too soon anyways for him to willingly move back inside to sit down now. The plastic bag crinkled in his hand and he grimaced at the sound. Hastily he placed it in the pocket of his jeans, not wanting anybody to see it.

His queasy stomach had started to ache over time and he was now sure that he was definitely running a fever. He doubled over a bit, only able to keep his balance with leaning against the bus, and placed a hand on his stomach. It barely helped.

Hajoon wanted to call Dojoon again, or any of his members, but as he patted the pockets of his jeans he came up empty handed. In his rush outside he must have forgotten to grab his phone.

Frustrated tears rolled down his face. Why couldn't he just be home with his members? He didn’t want to be alone. He knew it was ridiculous missing his members after just a week but he was so desperate for comfort. 

"Hey there", a soft voice said and, very confused, Hajoon dared to look up. A young woman was kneeling in front of him, the mother of the family in the bus. She gave him a gentle smile. 

"I noticed you're not feeling so good, are you?", she asked sympathetically. Confused and slightly overwhelmed, Hajoon shook his head. 

Having somebody notice he was not doing good was overwhelming. For one part he was scared that she recognized him and it would end up on the internet but for the other part, the bigger part, he couldn't help but tear up again at the kindness she showed him. 

"Your friends are kind of being assholes about it, huh?", she said, a hint of fury in her voice. She must mean the security guards. Hajoon shrugged, not caring to check if the two even noticed that he was approached by a stranger. Not that he thought that she would harm him but just on principle. 

"I guess so", Hajoon mumbled.

"I’m sorry. Anyways, my name is Haeun”, she introduced herself. 

After a moment Hajoon realized he probably should introduce himself too. But he was too tired to think of a different name or even think about if it was inappropriate to give a wrong one. So he just mumbled: “Hajoon.”

“Hajoon-ssi, it’s nice to meet you. What I actually came for, though: I have some antiemetics in my bag, if you would like to try?", the woman suggested, “traveling with kids is fun.”

At Hajoon’s reluctant glance, she added: “Don’t worry, the meds are also for adults.”

“Yeah, okay, thank you”, Hajoon whispered, “I … just I don’t know if I can keep them down.”

“Let me give you one just in case. You don’t need to take it if you don’t want to but it might help you feel better”, Haeun replied with a sad smile and reached into her bag to pull out a bottle of pills. When she looked up, her face went hard.

For a milli-second Hajoon was confused, then a tight grip on his arm unceremoniously yanked him upright. Everything swirled and he tilted to the side, vision graying out before it turned sharp again. He placed his free hand to his mouth, gagging violently as the motion upset his stomach. Luckily, nothing came up. Still, he was plagued by misery for a good minute until he got his tongue under control again. 

By then he found himself standing in the bus. One still had a strong, nearly painful grasp on his arm and Two was red in the face. Unceremoniously Hajoon was shoved into his seat and he was just barely able to stop himself from colliding with the window. 

“Are you fucking stupid?”, Two whisper-yelled and came close enough to Hajoon’s face that he could feel his breath. The drummer whimpered a bit, scared. He was sure that if they weren’t trying to keep everything on the down-low the other man would have yelled loudly. “Taking pills from a stranger? Do you actually want us to lose our jobs?”

Of course they only cared about their jobs. Not about his well-being if it hadn’t turned out to be actual nausea medication. 

Hajoon felt tears run down his face and the guards huffed. “I just wanted something against the nausea. I don’t feel good”, he sobbed helplessly. He was scared, lonely, nauseous and feverish. Didn’t they have any sympathy to spare?

“Suck it up. You’re an idol, isn’t that what you are supposed to do?”, Two added, still angry, “just sit here and don’t you dare fuck this up. Try not to puke, jeez.”

Hajoon sobbed into his hands, uncaring if anybody saw. He curled up into the corner of the seat and just prayed the drive was over soon.

🌹

Hajoon didn’t think he had ever been so relieved to be somewhere as the bus pulled into the bus station at Seoul. 

He had managed to sleep again a bit for the last leg of the drive but the nausea had been at an all time high. He didn’t understand - normally he got motion sick so easily but when he was actually sick it didn’t happen? Not that he particularly wanted to be sick in public but maybe it would have helped him feel just a tiny bit better. 

Most of the time he had just closed his eyes and tried to focus on the music - he had had to skip Nauseous though, the song a constant reminder and a teasing sound in his ear. Hajoon wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to listen to it normally again.

The bus had long grown stuffy with bad air and tension. But it was only a few minutes until he was about to see Dojoon again and he was growing impatient with longing. 

Somehow having driven through Seoul made the waiting even worse as he was so close and yet so far away. The heavy, gray clouds and the rain outside were matching his mood and made him just want to lie in a warm bed. Soon.

Finally, the bus came to a stop and as soon as the doors opened Hajoon stumbled outside, uncaring that he nearly fell down the last step or that he was basically drenched in rain the second he was under the open sky. 

He had made it all the way back. With his body shaking from exhaustion, fear and sickness, but he was back to be reunited with his friends.

And finally, fresh air. He took a deep breath and glanced left and right to see if he could spot Dojoon. Indeed, there was a lone figure with an umbrella in the distance. There was no doubt in Hajoon’s mind that it was his Dojoon-hyung.  

Nobody else was there, the other people must have decided to wait inside one of the nearby cafés during the downpour. At least something went right.

Hajoon walked towards Dojoon as quickly as his churning stomach allowed, pressing one hand against the upset organ as rain and tears ran down his face. Dojoon broke out in a run as soon as he spotted him and Hajoon supposed he was about to be scolded for getting himself drenched. 

Seeing his hyung triggered something within him, maybe it was just his body feeling safe or something else. Whatever it was - just as Dojoon was about to hug him, Hajoon couldn’t help but lurch forward, placing his hands on his knees. A large wave of stomach contents spewed from his mouth onto the ground and partially on Dojoon’s shoes. 

To his credit, his hyung just stepped backwards and suddenly the only water on Hajoon’s face was his own tears.

A hand came to rest on his back and held him steady as he kept retching and gagging for what felt like a small eternity. Still, after feeling sick all day with barely any relief it was nearly a good feeling to finally bring something up. Even if it seemed like it was his whole internal system.

Ultimately his stomach seemed to be empty and Hajoon was able to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand. Dojoon’s hand never left him as Hajoon straightened back up – well, as far as his aching stomach muscles allowed. Then he turned around to face his hyung.

Dojoon was completely soaked by the rain, the water running down his face and dripping down his nose and chin. Still, he kept holding the umbrella over Hajoon’s head to keep him from getting soaked even more. We’ll be in the rain indeed.

“Hyung”, Hajoon whispered and strong arms wrapped around him, a hand guiding his head to rest on Dojoon’s shoulder. One last time his tears spilled over and he cried for himself and the misery he had gone through. And he cried out of relief because he knew he wasn’t alone anymore.

Hajoon didn’t even care just how damp everything was, that he never managed to thank the woman and that he probably would have to face the guards one last time – he finally had his hyung. 

“I’ve got you, baby”, Dojoon whispered, stroking his back, “I’m here. Let’s get you home."

Notes: Happy Birthday, Hajoon!

Masterlist links: Fairy's Full Masterlist Fairy's Masterlist - The Rose  

[prodbyton]

Plsplsplsplssplsplsplspls friend u need to watch weak hero class GODDDDDDD it is so good. They was really having an acting Olympics on that set it don’t even make sense. Idek how to describe it just watch a trailer omg that wannaone boy was acting his ass OFFFFFFFFFFFF (prior to watching it actually I had no idea he had been an actor since he was a child so I thought this was like. His first role as an idol so I was like DAMN WAS RHE W1 CHECKS NOT COMING IN NO MORE??????????? Cus he was in that character like his rent was seven days late or something 😭😭😭😭😭)

Another drama I like is hometown chachacha! :3 it’s soooo fluffy and cute and ughh god I wish that was me.

Hospital playlist is also really good! I’m pretty sure the female lead is the same as in hometown chachacha so that’s fun. It’s a really funny show! It definitely has its serious moments (cus it’s a hospital and like niggas be dying and shit so 😭) but they are so well done and it had me crying and throwing up bad. But overall it’s very wholesome and the osts are good :3

Prison playbook is also made by the ppl who made hospital playlist and features a lot of the same actors and actresses. Prison playbook actually came first so apparently there’s a lot of references to it in hospital playlist, but I watched hospital playlist first so I have no idea and I kinda don’t gaf regardless 😭😭😭😭

Ok the last one is castaway diva. That one is so quirky and weird and honestly a plot that istg only Korean ppl could come up with 😭😭 I actually haven’t finished watching it yet but so far I love it and I love the female lead’s satoori it’s so endearing to me

Okay I lied while I was writing the last one another one popped in my head. D.P. is highkey dark asf cus it’s basically about these two dudes who are in the Korean military and their job is to catch draft evaders and it explores how complex the reasons can be as to why some Korean men would take such a huge risk. It shows how some people abuse others in the military because of their highsr ranks. I think it’s based off of actual events that have happened but not completely

Yet another one popped into my head while writing the previous one 😭 it’s a movie though. It’s called 1987: when the day comes. It’s about the gwangju uprisings/june uprisings and the events that led to Korea becoming a democratic country. It definitely takes creative liberties and the story is not completely accurate but that’s not the point it’s such s beautiful story 💔💔

Okay only 2 more I swear cus I jsut keep thinking of other ones while writing each one 😭😭😭😭 if u haven’t seen it already plsplsplsplspls watch the handmaiden (also a movie). One of the best pieces of sapphic cinema of all time it’s definitely a must like it’s beautiful (it also has the same female lead as the previous one! But this was I think her first major role (which is a crazy way to debut if u think abt it😭))

Okay the last one fr is juvenile justice. Omg. It’s about this judge lady who is oversees cases for juveniles cus she fawking hates children bad (she has trauma) and it explores what leads some kids to act bad asf and how some kids actually are super deranged 😭 but it shows her journey of realizing not all the kids who come through her court are bad kids they just have shit circumstances that led them to doing the things they do

OKAY that’s finally jt I hope u enjoy them :3

— 🍓

i’ve heard of some of these!! i’ll check them out tysm :33

[cupoftaae]

Forever And A Day (KTH x READER) series ♡ Epilogue .....

Summary: your lifelong friend is forced to face his true feelings for you once he breaks the number one rule of becoming friends with benefits: dont fall in love. He knows he loves you, but you on the other hand need more convincing of the most important thing: the right decision.

Genre: fwb. Roommates, friends to idiots to lovers, fluff, angst, smut, the whole 9 yards tbh.

Pairing: taehyung x female!reader

rating: 18+ (minors dni!!!)

A/n- this takes place years after the previous chapters.... I hope you enjoy it m'loves.

-Nini

Taehyung was your one true love.

And that was always so obviously apparent to onlooking eyes.

"my love...I don't think those are for you to pick-"

"shhh" Taehyung reached up and grabbed another apple from the tree, tossing it into the bowl he carried in the other hand.

You two had recently made an expensive upgrade from your small city apartment in Busan to a small cottage house in Gwangju.

Your mothers health had not been the best within the past year, and it became difficult to travel over to her so often, so Taehyung made the decision to move closer for convince, now she was more accessible.

He also appreciated the smaller atmosphere of the country side, he actually had a yard now, which he was going to take advantage of immediately.

You've only been in the new house for a month and a half and he's already burning bridges with the neighbors, who are a much older couple and dont seem too pleased with the idea of 20 something year olds living beside them.

"didn't they "accidentally" mow over your new flowers?" tae points out, as if its some competition with the 62 year old husband next door.

"he apologized" you cross your arms, watching your boyfriend pick from their fruit trees.

"we need a fence" he suggested, proudly showing you the bowl of fruit. "what? you are upset?"

You raise an eyebrow as he stands beside you.

"we can make apple pie, baby!" he smirked and walked to the side, entering your house as you giggled, following behind. Apple pie does sound convincing, you have to admit.

He walked to the kitchen and placed the bowl down, smiling at you as you picked up Yeontans toys scattered around the living room. "you know.." he adjusted his farmers hat that he insisted he bought so he fit the role of the town, "im gonna build you that porch swing you always wanted"

"yeah?" you giggled, listening to his voice from the other room.

"and I'll build you a nice white wooden fence around here.." he points out the window, "so we can have all our privacy, and then I'll build you a treehouse, so when we have kids we can hang in there and we can paint it and-"

You hug him as you walk into the room, taking his hat off as you put it on yourself. "youre so caring and considerate, my love"

Taehyung blushed and hugged you back, "because I love you"

"i love you too, country boy" you poked his chest, smirking. "and you know we can build the tree house now, why wait for kids? we can have fun in there I think. Put a tv up, snacks, pillows-"

"I dont think thats a good idea" he raised an eyebrow

"taehyung we arent gonna have sex in the tree, stop it" you giggle, looking at the apples he picked. "what time do we need to leave?"

He turned to look at the clock, "um, in an hour"

"oh shit, Im gonna go get ready now"

"you do that, lil lady" he teasingly smacked your butt as you left the room.

Taehyung informed you that he was taking you out on a small date tonight, but refused to disclose exactly where or why.

It was not often the two of you got to go out together anywhere, He had to transfer jobs when you both moved, meaning he went from a college art teacher, to a full time elementary school art teacher, which was in his words, "more enjoyable then teaching college kids".

Meanwhile, you were lucky enough to join the arts and culture center as an activities director, meaning you helped out plays and performances as well as acting in them. It wasn't too different from your job in Busan, the only real change is the people you worked with were much younger and around your age, which helped make you feel more comfortable.

bottom line, You and Taehyung were working all the time every day, leaving weekends the only time for you two to be alone. So when he told you he had something planned, you didnt want to question it too much, instead, you wanted to appreciate it.

A while later, you both had hopped into the car, he drove to the unknown destination while you put lipstick on in the overhead mirror of the passenger seat.

"please dont hit the pothole, I want to look good not like a clown" you mumble, lining your lips with the dark red coloring.

Taehyung giggled and looked over, "you do look good, baby, seriously" his hand rested on your thigh.

"did I overdress?" you look at him, "you wont tell me where we are going so I assumed to wear something sort of nice?"

He nodded, "you look amazing, not overdressed, promise"

You trusted his word as you pulled into the parking lot of a restaurant that reserved near a small lake, it really was beautiful, and for someone who grew up near the area, you've never seen or heard of this place before.

The sky became dark as you two walked in, he smiled and made sure to hold your hand, his cologne creating a comforting aroma for you.

"hi! reservation under Kim" he mumbled to the woman as she checked the laptop.

"for 3?" she looked up

"yeah" taehyung glanced at you nervously as you raised a brow.

"three?"

You followed the waitress to a window seat where you were met with your mother sitting, she had a wide grin plastered across her face as she saw both of you two.

"mom?" you giggled, running over to hug her as she sat in her wheelchair

Tae smiled softly as he stood behind you, a hand on your lower back before he hugged your mom too. Once you both sat down, you stared at taehyung waiting for an explanation as to why, although a pleasant surprise, your mother was here on date night.

He cleared his throat, "I just thought we could all use a night to just sit down and eat without having to worry about cooking" he smirked, your mother trying to hold in her giggle as she agreed, "yup"

You seemed confused, you didnt mind cooking a dinner for everyone if she wanted to come over to your house, but you suppose its the thought that counts.

Throughout the meal, you all shared small conversations that seemed casual, other than the fact your mother and taehyung kept sharing similar glances, making you suspicious.

"is there some kind of joke I dont know about?" you suddenly spoke up, pouting as you took a bite of potato.

"no baby, why do you say that?" he asked, reaching to hold your hand

"dunno.." you shrug, looking around.

Taehyung began to grow more nervous and fidgety as the night went on, even more so as you excused yourself to use the restroom.

Your mother put her hand on his back, whispering, "dont be nervous, taehyung, youre giving it away you know" she laughed

Taehyung ran his hands over his face, "ahh I know but...what if she-"

"she loves you, she wouldnt have put up with your shit this long if she hadnt"

"true..." he chuckles , sitting up as you return to your seat.

"lets order dessert" your mother suggested, making you nod and smile

"good idea, do you guys wanna get the ice cream float and we can all share it? its pretty big.."

Taehyung was suddenly too anxious to even speak casually as he looked at you "yeah, sounds good." he spoke flatly, his eyes drawing to the live band that sat across the room you were in. He smiled and got up, walking over to them as you and your mom discussed dessert.

"hello, do you take requests?" he whispered, hopeful.

"we do!" the man cheerfully replied, taking his earpiece out so he could here the young boy. "what would you like to hear?"

Taehyung looked back to make sure you werent paying attetion, "well...um, do you guys think could play this?" he showed him his phone

Return to me, Dean Martin

That song held a certain significance in yours and Taehyungs relationship.

every couple had a song, and that just happened to be yours.

He had a deep love for music from the 50's, constantly playing vinyls throughout the house that echoed most nights as you came through the door after a long work day.

You loved to consider Tae a classical romantic, the kind to make you a cd with all of his oldies on his after you two get into a fight, which he's done before.

Taehyung returned to the table, smiling at the dessert on the table as you lifted the spoon to his mouth, "taste it baby, its so good"

He chuckled, taking the spoon and wiping his lips, "that is good my love"

He reached out to hold your hand over the table as you began talking, your mother couldn't help but tear up at the sight of how much love was budding between her daughter and this boy so obviously.

The current song playing through the restaurant came to an end, and taehyung nervously swallowed his wine, his foot bouncing not going unnoticed to your eye.

The gentle instrument began, alerting you immediately as you stopped mid-convo with your mom to look around, gasping, "tae! its our song! they are playing our song!"

Return to me Oh my dear I'm so lonely

He smiled gently, looking across at you as your face lit up. God, you were so beautiful. "yeah, it is..." he mumbled, eyes only drawn on you.

Hurry back, hurry back Oh my love hurry back I'm yours

you turned to your mom to explain how you and him always hear this song on the radio, like it follows you everywhere.

"lets dance?" he gently nudged your hand, nodding towards the center of the room where much older couples swayed slowly in the dimness.

You blushed, "now..?"

"why not, baby?" he took one last sip of his wine, hoping to gain any courage he could as he stood and grasped your hand, slowly leading you away from the table to the floor.

Your mother pulled her phone out and filmed, if you werent so caught up in taehyung right now you would have noticed her not-so-slick grin.

His hands rested on your hips, pulling him closer as you looked up at him, blushing once more.

"why you always so shy, baby?" he whispered, nudging his nose against yours.

"im not" you reply, giggling

"mm yeah you are"

You shook your head, swaying with him slowly as you rested against his chest. In that moment you heard his heart beating rather quickly.

"why is your heart beating so fast?" you whispered, closing your eyes."

For my heart wants you only Hurry home, hurry home

"is it?" he played dumb, resting his head against yours.

The softly played music and warmness of his body against yours made you almost forget where you were. You didnt care if people stared, you felt so in love in this moment, and almost protested for another song as it came to a close.

Retorna me Cara mia ti amo Solo tu, solo tu, solo tu, solo tu Mio cuore

Taehyung took a deep breath and exhaled, spinning you around slowly as he looked at you, in a way youve never seen before.

"taehyung?"

He smiled gently, the instrumental playing in the back as the floor cleared out.

"Y/N" he whispered, grabbing your hand as he slowly sunk down to one knee. Your heart froze, hand covering your mouth as you immediately caught on.

"y/n"....he looked up at you with eyes so nervous yet hopeful, you wanted to cry out of the amount of love you had in your body for this boy. "I...Ive loved you for so long, you are my other half and have always been. Without you, theres no way I would be here today as the person as I am, you make me a better man, and I cant imagine going a single day without you beside me" he was now crying as he spoke, the entire room watching with careful eyes, "we know eachother better than anyone, and all I want to....all I want to do baby is love, and spoil, and take care of you for the rest of our lives. Let me make you mine, forever, my beautiful girl" he whispered as tears of your own fell.

Suddenly his previous behavior made sense, watching him reach into his back pocket to pull out the small black box.

As a little girl, you dreamed of this moment, the moment someone will love you enough to offer you their life and promise to treat you with care. You began to fear that moment would never come, but now as you stand here with the love of your life, looking at you so passionately with the ring in his hand as he patiently waited for your response,

It was straight out of a fairy tale.

"will you marry me, beautiful? and let me pick apples for you for the rest of time?"

You giggled, wiping away your tears as you nodded quickly, "y-yes, yes! over and over again, yes" you have him stand so you can kiss him, the room erupting in applause as you do so.

He kissed you deeply, pulling away and pressing his forehead to yours, "I love you..."

"I love you too.....so much"

You watched as he slid the ring onto your finger, making everything seem so real. "oh, wow...this is so beautiful" you sniffed, leaning against him as you looked at your hand.

"yeah? you like it baby?" he smiled, kissing your head, "im glad"

You made your way back to the table to hug your mom, who, by the way, was an absolute mess.

"I filmed it all" she spoke, wiping her teary eyes.

"were you behind this, mama?" you giggled, kissing her cheek as she nodded, "you know I always am"

You looked at taehyung as he sat with you two, nodding.

"about a month ago after we moved here, I spoke to your mom about me proposing, and she gave me her blessing under one condition..." he trailed off

"that im here to see it" she finished softly, making you smile sadly.

"oh mama..." you sniff, hugging her again.

Your mothers health has taken a turn for the worse recently, leaving things a lot more difficult for you. Time and life is never a given, so for taehyung to go out of his way to make sure she was here to see such an important moment, knowing how much it means to you, made you love the man even more....if that was possible.

"thank you" you whispered to tae, looking at him with teary eyes.

He wiped them softly, kissing you delicately. "My baby, I love you so much"

Once the night was over, you and Taehyung were sat inside of your house once more.

It felt different, like someone flipped a switch and suddenly life was a lot brighter. You still had your entire future to see, and now taehyung has just promised to be there with you, and to share each beautiful moment. Things could not have been lovelier.

"I cannot wait to be your wife"

"and I cannot wait to be your husband"

You giggle, brushing his hair back with your fingers as your eyes glued onto his, the bed was warm, large blankets covering your bodies.

"I seriously.....dont know what I would have done without you. I never assumed I would marry my best friend" you whisper, thumb brushing his cheek. "Im lucky enough to have known my person my whole life"

He smiled warmly, palm placed on the back of your hand. "we dont have to worry about what ifs, or ever fear being lost again, yeah? I'm never gonna leave you"

You kissed his nose before nuzzling into his neck.

"I adore you...and I cannot wait to see all of the adventures life has in store for us" he mumbled, rubbing your back.

"I cant wait either....i just hope everything goes smoothly"

"oh things will be crazy, we attract crazy" he teased, earning a laugh from you, "but we can handle it.....we always do."

"yeah, we do" you whisper, looking down at the shiny ring that now sat proudly on your finger.

it symbolized a new chapter in your life, and God, you were so ready to enter it headfirst with Taehyung. Through thick and thin, you were his.

Let the story begin.

A/N-

AHHHH im kind of sad this is over, I apologize if this is rather short, but I wanted to keep it quick and sweet because I didnt want to add too much plot into the finale. There will be a drabble series following their life coming soon, I already planned it out and im so excited for it! Thanks again to my amazing followers who read my chapters weekly and support me, I love you all so much and I hope we can all have this experience with future works I put out.

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@turnthepageandbeburnt @taebangtanbabe @borahaexoxo @lelefoodlover @tan-veee