#Things to do in Gwangju

[dat-town]

p.s. but i like you

Characters: Taesan & female reader

Setting & genre: to all the boys i’ve loved before au; she fell first, he fell harder; fluff, comedy

Summary: When your love letters are sent out to your ex-crushes and you spend your last break before university trying to get them back, the last thing you expect is your neighbour tagging along.

Alternatively; you write love letters when you’re ready to move on from an all-consuming crush. There are four in total: Kim Donghyun from science camp in middle school, Park Sunghee’s older brother who tutored you once, Lee Chanyoung from the holiday resort last summer and Han Dongmin, the boy next door.

Warnings: MC is a bit chaotic, a bit of jealousy

Words: 10.3k

Author’s note: shoutout to the anonie who told me that the she fell first, he fell harder trope would fit Taesan because that’s so true. i hope i did it justice!

Letting your mother help you declutter your room before moving to Seoul for university was a big mistake. You realize it the moment you open your desk’s bottom drawer only to find it perfectly organized, colorful pens and highlighters in one corner, cute stationery in the other with stacks of important documents in the back, very unlike the usual mess you had in this exact drawer, the one you use to keep little trinkets like movie tickets and your old diary with lock and key you have been too embarrassed to throw out in fears of somebody finding it. You quickly scan the contents of the drawer, check all the others too, half-relieved when you find the diary with its lock secured but it doesn’t dissipate your nerves entirely.

“Mom...” You walk up to her where she’s currently sorting your clothes by color after you’ve already separated them by season. “Have you seen the envelopes in my drawer?”

“The letters? Ah, yes. I had to pick up a package from the post office today anyways, so I mailed them for you,” your mother says matter-of-factly, not noticing the way you’re biting your lower lip nervously.

“What?” You shriek, louder than you intended, in pure panic.

“Well, except for Dongmin’s, of course. I gave his to his mother,” she continues as if it was a light-hearted chit-chat, unaware of the storm clouds collecting over your head because she’s too focused on deciding whether to put your beige or cream colored sweater on top. “What’s with them by the way? Is it one of those letter chains we used to do when you were younger?”

“No. No, no, no,” you throw yourself onto your bed and scream into your pillow when you realize she’s totally serious. She found those simple white, addressed envelopes on the bottom of your drawer and took them thinking you just never got around to send them.

However, those letters were not meant to be sent. Ever.

The thing is: you write a love letter whenever you’re ready to move on from an all-consuming crush. So they are rather goodbye letters, your closure after spending days, weeks imagining your life with just another boy before realizing that it wouldn’t work out anyways. Not that you ever do anything about your crushes and you prefer it this way. In your head you can make up all these little scenarios about holding hands, amusement park dates, watching the stars together because at the end of the day you’re a hopeless romantic. You can giggle about seeing your crush smile from far away without the disappointment getting to know them could possibly bring. You have seen enough of your friends get rejected or dumped, so nah, you don’t plan to ‘put yourself out there’ anytime soon. Especially now that high school ended and you got your acceptance letter from your dream university in Seoul and you’re so ready to leave Gwangju behind.

But now the letters are out and it ruins all your plans of a peaceful winter break.

You’re knocking on the Han family’s door as if the building was burning down, tapping your house slippers against the corridor’s floor because you couldn’t be bothered to waste more time by putting on proper shoes and outerwear just to walk one door down.

You’re still going with the momentum and almost hit Dongmin’s lovely mother in the chest when she opens the door for you but you manage to scramble backwards and try to regain your composure by forcing a polite smile on your face.

“Good evening, Mrs. Han. Is Dongmin home?” You ask tentatively, hoping, praying that she would say no, so you could ask for your letter back from her by making up some excuse. Your smile almost falls though when the woman nods and looks behind her shoulder.

“Dongmin! Y/N’s here for you,” she shouts down the hall before turning towards you with a kind smile and ushering you inside like she has always done ever since your family moved in next door when you were fifteen. “What are you waiting for? Come in.”

You mutter out a quiet thank you and awkwardly wave when you see Dongmin’s younger siblings in front of the tv in the living room but no sign of the boy.

“He must have his headphones on like usual. Just knock loudly on his door,” his mother clicks her tongue in disapproval and puts a bowl of sliced fruits in your hands before gently pushing you towards the bedrooms inside the apartment.

You gulp and follow her instructions but even if you haven’t been there before, you would know which door is Dongmin’s because it’s full with stickers of his favourite bands and there’s the unmistakable sound of guitar playing resonating through the door when you get close enough, the same sound you hear from your own room because you (unfortunately?) share a wall with the guy. You knock on the wood three times, loud enough for the music to stop and one and half inhales later it swings open, revealing the tall boy with tousled dark hair, wearing an oversized The Beatles tee and sweatpants.

It’s been a while since you have seen him from up close, so for a moment you’re rendered speechless and a wave of self-consciousness washes over you due to the state of your homey clothes and messy bun but then you remember that he has already seen you taking out the trash in you pajamas and with greasy hair as well as with the braces you had back in freshman year. Not to mention, you have a bigger, more embarrassing problem at hand than how you look.

“What?” Dongmin eventually speaks up, raising an eyebrow in question as he leans his side against the doorframe and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

Okay, if he doesn’t know what you’re here for nor he’s calling you out on your childish letter, he must not have read it yet, right?

“Uhm, did you perhaps get a letter today? From me?” You find your voice finally, albeit it’s more high-pitched than normally as you awkwardly choose your words to sound as vague as possible. Dongmin stares at you nonchalantly before reaching for somewhere behind his back and holds an envelope ‒ your letter! ‒ out for you.

“You mean this?”

“Yes, exactly! Can I have it back?” You get excited and relieved, reaching for the paper only for Dongmin to raise it higher, out of your reach. You pout as you pull your hand back and dare to look the boy in the eyes as you pose the question you’re afraid to hear the answer for. “Or… did you read it already?”

Dongmin looks at you impassively, eyes searching as if he’s trying to figure you and your intentions out. Then he shrugs.

“What? The part about my beautiful eyes or that I drive you crazy?” He asks with one corner of his mouth lifting cockily as he quotes your words and you are going to have to dig a grave for yourself. Especially because both statements are still very much true apparently.

“Shh!” You hiss and you don’t even know what comes over you when you push at his chest with enough force (and the element of surprise) to push him back inside his room and you slip in too, quickly closing the door behind you before his family could hear what you’re talking about.

A moment later you realize what exactly you have done and your eyes widen at your own brazen behaviour. Based on the confused, dumbfounded look on Dongmin’s face you managed to surprise him too.

“Uhm, your mom made this for you,” you clear your throat as you push the bowl of fruits into his hands and look anywhere but his face. Which in turn results in looking around in his room that’s very like him. Band posters on the wall, concert tickets half-filling a glass jar, a keyboard by the desk, CSAT preparation books on the shelf, clothes thrown on the bed…

“Look Y/N,” he starts, his voice deeper than you remembered. But again, when was the last time you had a proper conversation other than hellos when running into each other in the corridor? “About your letter. I'm flattered but…”

“Don’t be!” You cut him off before he could reject you. Even if it’s years late and you aren’t crushing on him anymore, it would hurt your feelings, so you would rather not hear it. “You’re not the only one. I’ve written four letters.”

“Damn, Y/N. Is this some kind of prank?” Dongmin furrows his brows. He looks like he can’t decide whether he should be amused or annoyed by the sudden turn of events. You’re not sure which would be worse.

“I wish it was. My mom mailed my deliberately unsent love letters,” you sigh, face buried in your hands while Han Dongmin has the audacity to let out a short laugh.

“So who are the others then?” He asks casually while sitting down at his desk chair, putting the fruit bowl next to his laptop. Then he turns to you and motions for you to sit down or whatever that vague hand movement is supposed to be but you’re too busy fiddling with your fingers while hovering by his door, half-ready to flee.

“Uhm, Kim Donghyun from a science camp back in middle school, Lee Chanyoung from a holiday resort we went to in Jeju last summer and Park Sunghee’s brother,” you list, counting each name on your fingers. You aren’t even sure why you’re telling him this. Maybe you just want to get this off your chest and it’s not like he would post about it on his social media for laughs. He rarely posts anything unrelated to his band anyways. Plus he doesn’t even know these guys…

“Park Sunghoon? Isn’t he too old for you?” Dongmin raises a brow and you want to smack yourself. Of course, he knows him, they went to the same all boys school. It’s the best high school in the neighbourhood after all.

“Yah! He’s just two years older than us,” you correct him, defensive.

“Whatever,” Dongmin shrugs. Then he eyes the envelope slipped under the fruit bowl and mortification washes through you again. You don’t even remember half the things you wrote but you certainly remember pointing out that you were sure his band’s popularity would get to his head and that’s why it was better for you to not like him anymore. You cringe at yourself because a year and half and a few dozen screaming girl fans later, Han Dongmin seems still as laid back as ever behind his Taesan persona. “So you came to take it back before I could read it?”

“Well, yeah,” you admit, not seeing a reason to lie. It’s not like this could get any more embarrassing. “Though honestly I wasn’t really thinking. I only noticed the letters missing literally ten minutes ago.”

Dongmin hums like he finds it interesting which is funny because most of the time he looks like he doesn’t give a damn about anything. Except when it comes to music. Shit, what if he’s thinking of turning this situation into a song? He should credit you for inspiration.

“And what are you planning now? Will you break down the other three guys’ doors too?” He asks and it’s teasing, taunting. You can tell he’s pretty much laughing at you behind his raised eyebrow and curious eyes.

To be real, you weren’t thinking that far ahead yet.

“How fast do you think the Korean postal service is?” You purse your lips.

“Wait. You don’t actually plan to steal the letters back from their mailbox, right?” Dongmin scoffs but you might be considering it, so your silence is enough of an answer. “Oh you do.”

“I don’t want them to read it,” you throw your hands in the air. Just thinking about it gives you a headache and anxiety. “It’s bad enough that you read yours and now everytime we will meet, I will overthink it because you know I used to have a crush on you but I’m still friends with Sunghee and it will be even more awkward if she gets to know I liked her brother. Gosh, I should have dated my letters. Now Donghyun will think I wrote it now and not when we were fourteen.”

The more you think about it, the worse the situation is. You shudder just thinking about how cringe your letters could be looking back. Especially the one you wrote at the prime time of middle school.

“You know, maybe instead of dating them, you should have not written down the addresses,” the boy across from you points out, oh so very helpful.

“Wow, good advice, thanks. I will keep that in mind next time,” you deadpan and decide that it’s been enough of an embarrassment for a lifetime in front of the neighbourhood’s resident cool boy. You need to come up with a plan on how to get the letter back from the Park family before they could open it or forward it to Sunghoon abroad. “Anyways, I’ll be going then. Can I, please, have my letter back?”

You hold out your hand, trying your best puppy eyes at the guy but Dongmin doesn’t budge.

“Nah. It’s my letter now.”

You scowl but after a few long moments of staring contest that has you hot in the cheeks, you let out a deep sigh. He has already read it, it doesn’t really matter anymore.

“Okay, bye then,” you roll your eyes and let yourself out of his room, bowing awkwardly to his mother when you pass by her and face plant yourself into your bed once you’re alone again. Stupid Han Dongmin and his amused crooked smile and pretty brown eyes. Why did he have to read it?

You plan to get back Sunghoon’s letter via Sunghee and it goes smoother than expected.

You text the girl asking about the letter and tell her not to open it or send it to her brother because it’s just a prank someone pulled on you. If Taesan gave you the idea, she doesn’t have to know nor about the white lie. It’s in the afternoon when Sunghee texts you that they just got the mail and you decide to meet up both to catch up and get the letter back. Like the sweetheart she is, Sunghee offers to throw it out but you don’t want to leave anything to chance, so you meet in a cute café, drink way too sweet winter lattes and talk about post-graduation plans.

You’re walking back to the apartment complex from the bus stop with your letter safely tucked inside your bag when you spot the unmistakably tall figure of your neighbour in the nearby park, playing football with his little brother. At least the younger boy wears a puffy coat, gloves and beanie all tucked in but Dongmin, who has always acted a bit like the street was his runway, wears jeans, a wool coat half open and only a long, fluffy scarf pulled up to half-cover his already reddened, cold-bitten ears, February cold be damned. He has his hands in his pocket as he lazily kicks the ball back to his brother but it passes him by. That’s when his eyes meet yours and you react a tad bit too late to convince him that you weren’t staring. Luckily, he doesn’t call you out.

“Mission success?” He yells over to you though and it’s so silly. Why does he even care?

“Yeah,” you nod anyway and you’re about to ask how come he’s not cold when his little brother tugs on his coat sleeve.

“Hyung, can we go back inside now? I'm freezing. Why did you even wante‒”

“Sure, back we go,” Dongmin cuts him off hurriedly and you pretend not to pay attention to their brotherly bickering. You’re surprised to hear that this time it was the older who insisted on playing outside because usually it’s the other way around based on what you have heard before but it doesn’t concern you, so you just follow the two boys, watching maybe a bit too fondly as Dongmin ruffles his brother’s hair when he takes off his beanie inside the building. On the second floor, the older boy steps to their door to key in the code and ushers (meaning: lightly push) his brother inside. Before you could do the same down the corridor, he turns to you after the closing beep of their door.

“So what’s next?”

Once again you’re taken aback that he seems so invested in the mess you've gotten yourself into but it’s not like you have anybody to tell about these things. Normally you would gossip about boy things with Sunghee but since she can’t know about her brother being concerned, you would rather keep it to yourself. Or well, since Dongmin’s asking…

“Well, Sunghee got the letter today on the other side of the town, so I’m assuming that Donghyun’s will arrive in Busan tomorrow. So…” You explain, running on the adrenalin of successfully getting back one of the letters.

“Wait, Busan?” Dongmin interrupts, furrowing his eyebrows, confused. Oh, right. You only told him about the science camp.

“Yeah, he lives there or at least used to, four years ago. So I’m thinking of catching an early bus tomorrow,” you tell him about the plan you made up during your way home from Sunghee. Taking an express bus is the fastest and cheapest way to get to Busan and make it a quick day trip. Even if the letter’s not there, you will just ask the person who lives in that house to mail it back to you when they get it. If you still have time to kill, maybe you can even go down to the beach to make it seem like you’re a sane person and you wouldn’t travel 3 hours back and forth just to get a letter back.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to look him up online?” Dongmin, the voice of reason as always, asks and you look at him unimpressed. Does he really think it didn’t cross your mind at all?

“I tried! He either has no social media presence or at least not with his real name,” you pout because seriously just how many Kim Donghyuns could there be for you to not find the one you’re looking for?

Your neighbour apparently didn’t run out of his questions though and you can see genuine, bewildered curiosity on his face when he asks:

“How do you even know his address still after four years?”

That’s a fair question (and you hate that all he asks are logical questions actually). Considering that you were fourteen when you wrote it, you should have long forgotten the exact address of your ex-crush but lucky for you, you have it written down in your dusty notebook under lock and key.

“Uhm, I might have it in my old diary. We were supposed to become pen pals after the camp but well, life happens,” you mutter, feeling a bit self-conscious admitting that yes, you are one of those girls who have written diaries. But Dongmin doesn’t judge, not for that.

“You mean, you never wrote to him,” he raises an eyebrow challengingly and it triggers a defensive reaction out of you.

“He never wrote to me either!”

“Well, good luck then, Miss Letter Thief,” he waves and slips inside their apartment before you could come up with a good retort and the way he always seems to have the last word makes you want to tackle him down in the old-fashioned kindergartener way just to shut him up. Jeez, good thing you got over him so long ago because he’s dancing on your nerves.

Even though your mother doesn’t try to hide the fact that she thinks you’re acting a bit too dramatic over ‘some letters’, she at least looks sheepish and doesn’t stop you when you tell her that you will go to Busan in the morning and come back in the evening. She even packs you snacks for the long bus ride and you throw a book into your bag as if you wouldn’t fall asleep ten minutes into the journey.

The Sun has been barely out when you leave the apartment, rubbing your palms together while you stand in the bus stop and wait for the local bus to take you to the terminal. A movement catches your eyes on the window next to yours but you think you just imagined it until the building’s door opens and Dongmin rushes out in his long coat that makes him even taller than he already is. You turn to him suspiciously when he stops a good two meters from you at the bus stop because what the hell he’s doing there at seven in the morning during winter break. You stop yourself from questioning him though because the bus pulls up in front of you soon enough and he sits behind you on the vehicle, so you don’t see where he gets off.

With upbeat music playing from your earbuds, you almost forget about him by the time you get to the bus terminal. Luckily the queue at the counter is not too long, so you manage to buy a ticket to Busan before the next one leaves. You barely get comfortable in your window seat when the aisle one next to you is taken even though there are plenty of available seats in the unreserved area due to the morning hour.

You look at the sudden occupant and your eyes widen in realization.

“What are you doing?” You shriek a little louder than what’s publicly acceptable, so you immediately apologize to the other, sleepy-looking travellers.

“What? Can’t a guy go to Busan to check out this one music store?” Dongmin shrugs nonchalantly and it’s your turn to raise an eyebrow at his nonsense answer. He really doesn’t seem like the spontaneous type but admittedly, you don’t know him that well. You didn’t have to know him to catch feelings after all.

If you wanted to be honest, a few encounters around the apartment building was enough to get interested in him, even more so when you got to know that he had a band and your crush became embarrassing when you dragged your friends to the local festival where the band performed. Even though their music style isn’t really your go-to genre, he just looked so cool on stage, really in his element, very unlike the usual distant demeanor he greeted you with around the house. Then Minah started dating their drummer and you saw the band on stage a few more times, getting to love their music more and more, hanging out sometimes as parts of a bigger friend group until that one party where you saw your school’s most popular girl throw herself at Dongmin. The taste of unreasonable jealousy was all it took to snap out of it and forget about the boy’s pretty eyes, beautiful voice and rare smiles you treasured. Minah and Wonjin broke up around the same time, so at least you had an excuse not to see him more than necessary around the house.

So yeah, you probably talked more with him in the last two days than ever before and he has certainly never acted like this around you. It was getting suspicious.

“Han Dongmin… are you coming with me to make sure I don’t go alone?” You question because you really don’t know what to make of it and you can’t help but let your voice take on a playful tone.

“Pff…” The boy snorts and then looks at you with his practiced deadpan face. “I’m going, so I can laugh at how you embarrass yourself in front of this Donghyun guy.”

You roll your eyes at him. He thinks he’s so funny, huh?

“For real, why are you tagging along?” You try to come off as at least a bit authoritative with your crossed arms and serious face but it probably doesn’t work. Dongmin answers anyway.

“Because I don’t have more exciting plans for the break and it’s fun enough,” he shrugs as he slides down in his seat a bit to get more comfortable with his height. He fixes the hoodie over his head and turns his head against the backrest, looking like he’s about to go to sleep after telling you that while there you are with a hand over your heart. 

“Are my love letters funny to you?” You gasp, dramatic on purpose but a part of you really wants to shove him outside of his seat (of course, you won’t do it, not now that you’re on the highway already).

“I mean it was pretty funny that you misspelled the word gorgeous twice in mine.”

He says it so matter-of-factly but you desperately wish that he’s just teasing or else it’s mortifying that you couldn’t spell that correctly when you were almost seventeen.

“I was nervous! And it’s a difficult word to spell!” You splutter.

Seriously, what’s it about him that makes you so defensive all the time? Especially when he’s nothing but casual about your old love letter? Or is it exactly because of that?

“Do I make you nervous?” Dongmin raises an eyebrow at you with an almost smile on his lips and for a moment you’re speechless because you can’t tell whether it’s supposed to be teasing or flirty.

“I was once young and naive,” you tell him, refusing to answer because if you wanted to be honest (you don’t), then yes, he makes you very nervous, especially when he holds eye contact so long that you have to look away and stare out of the window instead.

“If you say so,” he hums and you refuse to give him the satisfaction of answering. You turn the music back on in your app and try to nap a little.

Dongmin must have the same idea because when you look his way the next time he’s peacefully sleeping. You know you shouldn’t but you can’t help but take in every small mole on his face and the curl of his eyelashes. Gosh, how is it possible that he’s even more handsome now than before?

When he stirs, you quickly look away and fish out the sliced fruits and hotteoks your mom prepared, offering to share them but Dongmin dismisses it with a shake of his head.

“What’s the order of the letters?” He asks instead when your cheeks are puffed with the sweet food but you decide to entertain him anyway.

“Donghyun’s the first, obviously. It was a two week long camp and he was the cutest boy I had ever seen. I knew I would never see him again, so I wrote that letter when I got back home. Then I befriended Sunghee in high school and met Sunghoon when I was over at hers. I had one actual conversation with him and imagined our entire lives together until he graduated and went abroad. Then I wrote yours in second year and I met Chanyoung last summer over the vacation my family went to in Jeju,” you list them off and it seems to put the boy into thinking mode because he’s quiet for a short while, letting you eat in peace.

“You don’t get crushes when there’s an actual chance of dating them? You barely interacted with any of these guys,” he points out and then gestures between him and you. “We never really talked either before this and then you stopped liking me because I ‘got too popular’,” he adds drawing ditto marks in the air probably quoting from your letter which makes you wince quietly.

You might have written to him that you got over your crush on him when their band started getting more attention, claiming that arrogant rock stars aren't your type. You certainly didn’t go into details about how their song about liking a popular girl made you feel stupidly jealous, especially after seeing him with Yein.

“It’s safer like this,” you shrug, casting your eyes down. “I like the idea of romance, like in books and movies, but not the reality of it.”

Real romance is scary. Full of rejection, heartbreak and embarrassment.

It might be the songwriter in him but Dongmin sounds intrigued to say the least.

“So you don’t actually have real crushes. You like the version of the guys you make up in your head,” he says like you’re a puzzle to solve and he’s slowly figuring you out. You don’t know how to feel about that.

“The way you say it sounds bad but… aren’t all crushes like that? You don’t have to know the person to like them,” you say and it’s funny because you never really thought about your feelings this way. But it’s true that even if you have had your fair share of crushes, none of them were very deep. You would never admit it to him but actually your ‘Dongmin phase’ was the longest but you can’t be sure whether it’s because he has been a permanent fixture in your life unlike the other boys or something else.

“I don’t know. To me, that’s just attraction. You can like them for who they are only when you get to know them,” he says and he sounds like he did think about it before.

“You don’t believe in love at first sight, huh?”

“Yeah, no,” Dongmin shakes his head and pops a piece of grape into his mouth from your snack box. You scoff but hold it closer to him and the rest of the ride is spent in relative silence interrupted by occasional short conversations.

This is how you get to know that the boy has been in Busan before with his family, so you pretty much let him lead when you get to the bus terminal in the coastal city because you’re not the best with direction. Dongmin has to stop you by holding on to your scarf when you almost get on the subway in the wrong direction and teases you about how you will get around in Seoul like that. You shrug, not worrying about it much since you will have enough time to learn getting around in a big city like the capital.

For now, you’re navigating through Busan on this impromptu day trip and you’re kind of glad you are not doing this alone. Not just because you would have most likely gotten lost a few times but because Donghyun’s address is almost an hour more away from the bus terminal and time flies faster while you talk with Dongmin. It’s nothing special, just your likes and dislikes, high school drama, sibling anecdotes and such but you find yourself smiling and laughing more often than not. When your shoulders brush at an abrupt stop of the subway car, you pull away shyly and something stirs in your chest, something familiar and almost forgotten.

By the time you get to the address written in your cute pink diary, you almost forget about the main reason why you’re here. You can’t decide whether fate is on your side or not when you manage to bump into a vaguely familiar figure on the ground floor of the building with a very much familiar letter in his hand among others.

“Donghyun!” You shriek in realization, resisting the urge to yank the letter out of his hand. He definitely grew up, almost as tall as Dongmin behind you, hair longer, covering his ears but his eyes are the same.

“Uhm… sorry, do we know each other?” He furrows his eyebrows, visibly confused. Dongmin tries to cover his snort-like laugh with a cough behind you which really doesn’t help with your embarrassment.

“Oh, I’m Y/N. From science camp four years ago,” you introduce yourself a tad bit awkwardly but luckily that’s all it takes for the boy to recognize you because his face brightens.

“Oh, hey! What are you doing here? Came to check out the Sealife Aquarium?” He asks, almost excited, and you find it cute that he didn’t lose his childhood fascination with such things.

“Uhm, actually I came for that,” you point at the mail in his hands which leaves the boy confused once again.

“Our electricity bill?”

“No, dude, the prank letter you just got with her name on it,” Dongmin speaks up from behind you and you can tell just from his voice alone that he’s rolling his eyes. But it gets Donghyun to check out the envelopes in his hand and nonchalantly gives you the one addressed to him from you, like he doesn’t even care what’s in it. But when you actually take it, he leans in closer.

“You’ve got a scary boyfriend,” he whispers just as casually, so only you could hear it and you can only splutter in shock while he pulls back and jogs up the stairs with the other letters in hand.

“Thanks,” you clear your throat as you turn to Dongmin who looks as nonchalant as ever.

“For what?”

“For not telling him that it’s a love letter,” you explain, which makes the boy shrug. He opens the door for you and points towards the metro station.

“I’m choosing lunch then,” he says and you laugh at his logic, but follow him anyway. He still asks if you’re okay with Korean food and since you’re not picky, you let him choose whatever he craves.

You end up at a jjigae place, the warmth of boiling spicy soup filling you up and you blame the heat in your cheeks on it, definitely not in the casual way Dongmin serves you water or opens the hot rice bowl for you as if it’s nothing.

“So only Jeju’s left,” he comments between two spoonfuls of kimchi jjigae. Looking at you from across the table, he almost challenges you: “Tell me you’re not seriously considering flying there.”

“I mean there’s also a ferry…” You make a thinking face just for the sake of it but laugh at your own ridiculous idea and the face Dongmin makes. “Okay, okay, I know. He probably received the letter already anyway.”

You shrug casually and the boy seems surprised and maybe a bit impressed too. Getting back two letters out of four is actually a better ratio than you expected and you care surprisingly less about Chanyoung receiving his now. What’s the worst thing that can happen? Nothing much. Like Dongmin got his own and he doesn’t act weird about it. At least he certainly doesn’t avoid you or looks at you as if you were crazy like you would have thought so. He’s actually quite… kind about it. Without the letter you surely wouldn’t have spent this much time with him nor would he have joined you on this spontaneous day trip either. Speaking of which…

“Do you actually have a music store you want to check out here? We have time, so we might as well look for it,” you say, eyes on your food, blowing on the soup to make sure you don’t burn your tongue. When your suggestion is followed by silence, you look up self-consciously and fidget with a stand of hair hanging in your face. The look of surprise is clearly written on the boy’s face but when your eyes meet, he recovers quickly, shoving the rice sitting on his spoon into his mouth before taking out his phone and showing you the Instagram page of this cool store he found. You drop down your gaze from his face to his phone, feeling heat creeping into your cheeks once again as both of you lean forward over the table.

Luckily, in the winter cold outside it doesn’t stand out. Dongmin’s nose, cheeks and ears also redden by the time you make it to the music store by the sea. You look over the vinyl collection with him, asking about his favorites, inspirations and such, and while you don’t know half the bands he mentions listening to him talk has something special in it. It’s actually cute how enthusiastic he gets as he talks about music, like sure he’s all cool and nonchalant but still, you can tell he’s excited beneath that facade and…

Wait. Did you just call Han Dongmin, cool, mysterious, plays in a band neighbour, cute?

But how can you not when he walks out of that store with a new LP and a happy smile he tries to suppress when you look his way or when he’s like oh, yeah, sure, let’s go down the beach and there he is shivering from the wind like a rain-soaked black cat because he’s too cool to wear gloves even if he has ice americano in his hands unlike your hot hazelnut latte that’s warming your body and soul or the way he tries to secretly take pictures of you with your wind-blown hair in your face, laughing when you chase him down the waterfront or how he hesitates to accept the hot pack from you on your way back to the bus terminal but immediately switches places with you when a car passes by you a bit scarily close. It’s a totally new side of him that you’re discovering and you aren’t sure how to feel about it, about realizing that he isn’t the kind of guy you imagined him to be.

He’s so much more and so much better.

On your way back to Gwangju, he steals one of your earbuds and makes a comment on your music taste and you bicker about that half the journey but you wouldn’t have it any other way. Your cheeks almost hurt from laughing so much when you notice new notifications on your phone and the device almost falls out of your hands.

chnyng_lee started following you. chnyng_lee hi yn! i got your letter…

“Oh my god!” You whisper-yell when you see the beginning of the message received, then quickly cover your mouth with your hand and pull the phone to your chest as if not seeing it would make it go away.

“What?” Dongmin asks with worry evident in his voice but you’re swimming too deep in embarrassment to detect it.

“Chanyoung just texted me,” you explain, still in shock and the moment it leaves your mouth, something shifts in the air. The previous light atmosphere turns heavier.

“Ah, Jeju boy?” Dongmin mutters, force nonchalance draped over his words as he turns to look ahead before silence settles on you both.

You take three long, deep breaths before unlocking your phone and opening the app to read through Chanyoung’s message properly. He’s so sweet, just how you remembered, telling you that of course he remembers you and he doesn’t think that your first meeting with you falling into the pool and him having to pull you out was awkward. He says it’s cute that you wrote to him even though you got over your crush and asks about your winter break. A sweetheart, really.

You find yourself chuckling fondly over his shy reactions and coo when he tells you about the group of elementary students he taught swimming that day. You want to show the video he sent to Dongmin too but he’s fast asleep next to you, so you spend the rest of the ride chatting with the cute boy who saved you back in Jeju.

Dongmin is quiet on the local bus too after you transfer in Gwangju but when you ask about it, he says he’s just tired, so you leave him be until you reach the apartment complex.

“Thanks for coming with me today. I… had fun,” you admit, more bashful than you would have liked to but the guy’s back to his distanced attitude, so he doesn’t even tease you about it.

“Sure, no problem,” he shrugs, seemingly eager to leave and you don't know why it bothers you so much but after everything that happened that day it’s his sudden change in behaviour that keeps you awake at night.

You wouldn’t say Dongmin avoids you. It’s more like things go back to normal. You have spent the last few years rarely running into him, so really, it shouldn’t annoy you. Still, whenever you leave the house, you find yourself looking for him and whenever you’re in your room you wait to hear his music through the thin wall between your rooms. 

It’s a random weekday evening when you run into him as you take out the recycled trash and he’s just coming inside the building.  It’s awkward, both the silence and the small talk idea but eventually it’s him who breaks the silence as he holds the door open for you:

“So how are things going with loverboy?” 

“Who?” You blink at him in surprise before realizing that he must be referring to Chanyoung with that weird nickname. “Oh, good. We’re thinking of meeting up in Seoul. He’s going there to uni as well.”

It’s actually crazy that in about a week you will be in the busy center of Seoul, getting ready for orientation week and trying not to get overwhelmed by everything that university life throws your way. You’re about to ask Dongmin when he will move to his dorm but before you could do so, he just hums and passes you by.

You refuse to think too much into it nor you allow yourself to mourn the closeness you unexpectedly found with the boy for it to turn out to be merely a fleeting experience. You cannot miss him suddenly, that’s ridiculous.

You can’t be desperate enough to wish it’s him knocking on the door two days later, can you?

“Uhm, hi!” You smile a tad bit awkwardly while looking down at Dongmin’s little brother standing on your doormat wearing a Kakao Friends Ryan patterned tee and a determined look on his face.

“Noona, can you please talk with hyung?” He asks and when he mentions his brother you can’t help but glance towards their closed door, chest heavy with unsaid feelings.

“Uhm, why?” You question curiously but keep your tone light and friendly, so the boy would know you aren’t dismissing his request, you just find it strange and unexpected. You aren’t that close to Dongmin after all.

“He listens to a lot of sad and angry music,” the boy sighs as if it was the world’s biggest problem and you have to fight a chuckle at how cute it is that he’s worried about his brother because of the music he listens to.

“Isn’t that normal for him though?” You find yourself asking because you do hear music through the wall between the two apartments from time to time and describing some of it as ‘sad and angry’ wouldn’t be far from the truth.

“Yeah, but even more than usual,” the little boy pouts and sighs again, all the world’s weight on his young shoulders. “And he says you can’t come over because you’re busy with your boyfriend.”

“I don’t have a boyfriend,” you frown, confused where Dongmin got that from. Does he think that you texting with Chanyoung automatically meant you got yourself a boyfriend? Did he miss the fact that the letter for him was also written after getting over your crush on him? Oh come on, he knows you had four crushes over four years and never got a boyfriend, so what makes him think two days changed it all? And even if you had a boyfriend, what’s it to him unless… Wait, is he jealous?

“Then can you come over to play? We need four players,” Dongmin’s brother voice pulls you out of your thoughts and you let yourself be roped into a game of charades in their living room.

Needless to say your ex-crush is taken aback to see you there but he apparently doesn’t have the heart to say no to his siblings when it comes to playing a game. You pair up with his little sister who is seriously the cutest with her pigtails and excitement but her drawings are more postmodern than anything exhibited in galleries and you can’t for the life of you figure those out. Dongmin and his brother are a good team though but the eldest always makes sure that their little sister doesn’t feel bad about being on the losing team which in turn obviously means that he teases you about it instead. You still have a lot of fun though, so when you leave once it’s bedtime for the younger ones, you are giddy and high on sugar from Dongmin’s mom’s heavenly chocolate pudding.

“Sorry that my brother dragged you over,” Dongmin apologises once their entrance door closes behind him and you two stand in the corridor. You didn’t expect him to come after you despite his mother’s obvious suggestions because come on, you literally live next door, you don’t need him to walk you home. But you don't mind it because unlike your last encounter, he doesn’t seem to have his guards up making him much more approachable. Even if there’s nothing more to it, it would be nice to be friends with him, not just neighbours who pass each other by.

“No problem, it was fun,” you reassure him with a smile and don’t let the silence settle on your duo for too long. “Maybe we should make it a tradition in Seoul too, ask Chanyoung and Yoonah to join us.”

There’s definitely intent behind your words as you gawk at the guy’s reaction like a nature photographer waiting for something to happen in the wild and you can clearly see a bit of frustration blended with confusion on his face before he schools his expression back into cool nonchalance.

“Who’s Yoonah?” He asks predictably which makes your smile wider because being able to guess his reaction is almost like you know him.

“Chanyoung’s girlfriend! Didn’t I tell you? She’s so cool,” you chirp and pull up your Instagram app to show him a lovely picture of the two. Dongmin acts like he doesn’t care but he doesn’t stop you and somehow the air between you feels much lighter.

You tell him what you know about the couple’s plans in Seoul and somehow, in the middle of it all, you end up sitting on the cold concrete stairs right between your two homes and talk about the upcoming changes in your lives. You share how weird it feels to leave behind Gwangju, the only place you have really known in your life for an unknown city where you don’t know anybody. Sure, some of your classmates also move to the capital but none of your close friends, so it feels a bit like a fresh start which is both scary and exciting. He’s in similar shoes except that he has always had dreams of moving to a bigger, busier city, so he can’t wait to start his life in Seoul.

“As expected of Han Taesan. Fearless as always,” you note with a smile playing on your lips without thinking and you don’t even notice your slip-up until Dongmin points it out.

“You called me Taesan,” he says, his dark eyes wide and surprised.

“Ah right. Was I not supposed to?” You ask sheepishly because you have heard most of his friends call him Taesan as well as girls in your school who knew his band.

“No, it’s just…” The boy trails off, ruffling his hair, avoiding your eyes. “In your letter you said it’s cringe that I took up a nickname when we started the band.”

You wince audibly when he once again reminds you of a part of that infamous letter you don’t even remember and now you’re mature enough to admit that part of it was written out of petty jealousy due to his skyrocketing popularity among girls.

“I wrote that a long time ago. I got used to Taesan since,” you explain, drumming your fingers on your knee pads just to do something with them while the boy nods and seemingly contemplates your words. He sounds almost shy as he admits:

“I like it when you call me Dongmin.”

And if your breath hitches at that, it goes unheard by everybody but you because your upper level neighbour chooses that moment to arrive and complain about the two of you ‘barricading’ the entire staircase. Amidst polite apologies you say goodbye to each other and in the safety of your room, only one wall away from Dongmin, you can admit to yourself that maybe you’re not that over your crush on him as you thought.

Realizing that you still (or well again) have a crush on the boy next door doesn’t make things easier for you. Especially because in less than a week both of you are set to go to Seoul for different universities and if living next door with your schools across each other you managed to not interact all too much over these years, you fear being in the same city won’t make it easier to run into the enigma that is Han Dongmin.

It’s different this time though because you’re friends. Kind of. You text sometimes about random things like a black cat in the snow video that reminds you of him while he sends you music recs ‘to educate you on good taste’. You are over at his place every other day to play board games with him and his siblings or play snow fights in the newly fallen snow.

Like right now, when the two of you sit on one of the swing sets at the playground watching the two kids trying to build a snowman that will melt by tomorrow. It’s cold, you feel it sweep into your bones as your gloved hands hold the metal chain of the swing, barely swaying in place. It’s comfortable, sharing silence with Dongmin by your side but you like it better when he speaks, when he talks to you, when he looks at you which he doesn’t do, not now, not since he chased you down with a handful of snow only to drop it when you slipped and he caught you. Which eventually left you just chilling on the swings before either of you breaks a bone a few days before the semester starts.

“What are you doing tomorrow evening?” Dongmin speaks up in his usual, casual tone, the tone that’s passive enough for you to think that he doesn’t really care about the answer but you know it better now, it’s all just a facade.

“Nothing much, maybe watch a movie. Why?” You lean forward, holding your weight by the chains to be able to look at him even if he doesn’t turn your way.

“Would you like to come to the band’s last gig?” He asks eventually and your eyes widen, heartbeat starting to act up for no reason at all.

“Yeah, of course!” You answer, not even hesitating but you have to ask: “Last though?”

“Well, for now. We will be pretty scattered around the country once the semester starts,” Dongmin explains to your tentative question. You don’t even know how much of a relief it is until you hear it because somehow it’s hard to imagine him without music, without his band.

“Ah, okay, that’s good.”

Now that makes Dongmin look at you, all intrigued as if asking what’s it to you and it makes you flustered because heck now you have to explain yourself.

“It’s just… you’re good. You shouldn’t give up on music, especially when you like it so much,” you say, looking away, sitting back on the swing, kicking the ground a bit to give yourself momentum.

“Not worried anymore that I would become an arrogant all too popular rockstar?” The boy asks in a clearly teasing tone.

You sigh exaggeratedly and nudge him in the side but he just laughs. Of course he would use your letter against you, but for some reason it doesn’t bother you that much anymore and no, you’re not worried about that either. You’re more worried about moving to Seoul and drifting apart, losing the closeness you have now. Maybe that’s why he isn’t saying anything more either, that’s why you don’t address his unreasonable jealousy over Chanyoung or all those late night talks, the lingering looks and diverting glances. It’s not just a crush anymore, you’re one confession away from making it real because for the first time since you developed all those crushes you feel like it’s worth the risk. Dongmin is worth the risk of getting your heart broken.

The next morning Dongmin texts you to let you know that they will have a last minute practice with the band, so he just sends you the location of the local art café they will perform at on Naver Maps. You answer with a bit too excited ‘see you there!!’ which you immediately regret until he sends a heart reaction to the message. It has you squealing even when you see the icon turn into a simple like and he claims that his fingers slipped. Just to tease him, you tap a like on that message.  

You definitely make a bigger deal out of choosing an outfit for the gig than you probably should. You even ask for Sunghee’s opinion over a video call and in a weak moment of yours, you ask her to go with you but she just snorts and tells you that she doesn’t want to be stuck as the awkward third wheel when you eventually leave with ‘your neighbour boy’. You protest because why would you leave with him? But at the same time you kind of wish that you would. You live next to each other, wouldn’t it make sense? Are you too hopeful?

Scratch that! You’re young once and you swore to yourself that you won’t let insecurity or fears hold you back this time. You’re allowed to be a bit delulu sometimes.

You get to the café just in time for the performance to start. You’re still terrible with directions when it comes to new places but you calculated with that beforehand, so it’s all good. You order a dalgona latte, sweet on your teeth and warm in your hands, and settle down at a table close to the cozy winter-decorated stage where the band does last minute tuning and setup checks. You look around and see a few familiar faces from your school as well as some guys from Dongmin’s rare Instagram stories. They all cheer when the lead singer introduces the band and they start with an upbeat, alternative rock-style song. He might not sing the most but your eyes are glued to Dongmin behind the keyboard, at the way he is bobbing his head to the beat or the way he smirks when the audience reacts to certain parts, clearly enjoying it all and that’s what matters the most to you. They perform quite a few songs and you enjoy it thoroughly, regretting a bit that you stopped listening to their new stuff in the middle of second year, thinking it would be easier to move on from your crush like that. And look at how that turned out.

You have so much fun watching Dongmin perform that you aren’t even disappointed that you don’t get your own ‘Y/N moment’ by locking eyes with him through the crowd mid-song. At least not until it’s his turn to introduce the upcoming song after all the other members have already spoken between sets. 

“The last song we have for today is a new one. It’s called Just you and me and it’s a bit unpolished but I wanted to perform it tonight,” he says into the microphone propped above his keyboard and glances at you right when the audience starts clapping. You’re pinned to place by his gaze and can’t look away, not even after he does, not when he grabs the microphone and starts singing.

The song is not heavily instrumental, there’s only a soft guitar layer and a simple beat of drums from the chorus, but it stands out because Dongmin sings the whole thing and its lyrics are much sweeter than their usual songs. It sounds like a confession, echoing your own heartbeat.

When it ends, the band says thanks for all the support and drops their social media info, so fans can follow their journey along even when they are not active in Gwangju anymore. Some people, probably friends and family, go up to them to chat while they pack their instruments. You contemplate whether you should say hi to Dongmin or wait it out but you don’t have to worry about that for long because he soon comes to find you by your table.

“Hey.”

“Hi,” you beam at him brightly despite the nervous butterflies in your stomach. “You were great up there. I loved the new song a lot.”

“That’s good,” he hums, looking just a bit shy with his downcast eyes and boxy smile, so different from the usual confidence he exudes on stage or when he’s teasing you.

Maybe that’s where the sudden courage comes from, the urge that prompts you to ask:

“Was it… a love song?”

Your tone is tentative, not too pushy, not too hopeful, but Dongmin’s gaze finds yours, earnest but amused, very much like him.

“Maybe. Somebody said she likes movie-like romance,” he shrugs, his smile turning smug when he notices the blush painting your cheeks. This time, you can’t blame it on the cold.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Dongmin confirms and clears his throat, clearly out of his element a bit. “Are you heading home now? Cause if you wait a bit, we can go together.” 

You nod shyly and send him off to pack and say goodbye to his friends. Before you know it, you’re on your way back, talking about the band’s future plans, places he already knows he wants to check out in Seoul, how your dad plans to take you to move into the dorms by car and your mother is already emotional about it. You don’t talk about love songs and confessions, the possibility of a future together. However, you don’t want to say goodbye tonight without acknowledging your feelings out loud.

Dongmin unexpectedly beats you to it though. Once you’re in the corridor of the apartment building, he calls your name, reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a wrinkled envelope, handing it over to you. You see your name scribbled on the paper and for a moment you’re taken aback because you expected his handwriting to be almost unreadable, rushed and messy but it’s so spacey between characters that it’s cute, especially if he made the effort to make it readable for you.

“To make it fair that I have your letter,” he shrugs oh so casually and scratches his nape. “Just… don’t read it in front of me.”

“You just sang a love song in front of a crowd,” you remind him of his previous bravado which makes him groan in protest and you get it now why he likes it so much, teasing you.

“It’s different!”

“Okay, I will read it when I’m alone,” you promise, holding the envelope to your chest, a part of you wanting to run into your home so you could read it as soon as possible, another part not wanting to part from the boy. But curiosity is killing you. “Bye then?”

You turn, ready to head inside but before you could change your mind and let overthinking ruin your sudden bravery, you turn back to face Dongmin and pushing yourself to your tiptoes, you peck him on the cheek.

“Kiss like we do, huh?” You ask playfully, quoting a bit of his new song and dash inside your family home before Dongmin could react or see how red you get.

If his letter is unlike what you expect it to be, you will probably dig yourself a hole in the playground and hide forever for this but you let yourself hope as you hold your breath and unfold the paper in the safety of your room.

Dear Y/N,

I can’t write sappy letters like you but I can try because you like this stuff. Romantic gestures or whatever.

I know it’s late, that it’s been almost two years since you liked me but I still want to get this off my chest. I don’t know what would have happened if you confessed in our second year because I didn’t really know you. I didn’t know how you ramble when you’re nervous or that you have this cute habit of brushing your hair out of your eyes even if it isn’t there or that you have the prettiest laugh. You’re a bit crazy because who writes love letters complimenting my gorgeous (that’s how you spell it by the way) eyes at the same time as accusing me of becoming arrogant? Who travels to the other side of the country just to get their love letter back? Who stays over playing charades with my siblings on a random weekday?

Half the time you don’t make any sense and ever since you showed up at my door asking for your letter back, you’re driving me crazy.

Sincerely, Dongmin

P.S. But I like you (if it wasn’t clear)

You squeal. Loud enough for the boy to hear through the thin wall between you. He has the audacity to laugh which makes you grab your phone.

you: don’t laugh!! you: btw i like you too! you: again you: still you: if it wasn’t clear dongmin: so unromantic you: ??? dongmin: write me a letter back you: on it! you: ♥️

[lbxbx]

Cockpit 7 | knj

Pair: Namjoon x reader

Summary: Namjoon goes through a rough time while getting a divorce, meeting you at the club two weeks in a row when attraction becomes unreal.

Rating: +18 mature content, Smut, divorce, fatherhood.

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taglist: @wecanpretendit | @whoisbts | @yoonjinsrkive | @my-current-mood-is | @joonzseoulmate | @parkinglot-nights | @missbangtangirl | @m00njinnie

“Four aces.” Namjoon puts his cards down and he thinks he won, he claps his hands and takes a sip from his beer. “What do you got?”

“Don’t celebrate too early Joon.” You put your cards down. “Straight flush.” And you finally beat his cards and win the game.

That day was a lazy day for both of you, after your nap you two woke up hungry and ended up cooking pasta with prepackaged sauce to save time, and after dinner he wanted to see if he could beat you in a poker game, and you won the game three times in a row.

“Fuck.” He murmurs. “Practice round.” He tries to manipulate the game which makes you laugh. “I’m ready to play you again and I’ll win.” You shrug.

He nods and takes another sip from his drink. “You got lucky y/n.” He has the habit of messing with you and you know he’s doing it again now so you hit his chest. “You’re such an idiot.” You get up on your feet and collect the plates that were still on the coffee table before you head to the kitchen, he follows you and takes the plates from your hands before putting them in the sink. “You should go lie down, I’ll do the dishes.”

You giggle and cross your arms. “I’m okay, I promise.”

He’s been treating you like a fragile piece of glass the entire day, When you’re making dinner, he felt like a burden when you got up and insisted to cook, even when you didn’t even finish half of your plate, he knows you cooked just because he’s there. So he insisted on helping in the kitchen even though when he turns everything into a disaster.

He washes the plates before stacking them in the dishwasher, you tilt your head and just think.

Why?

Is she blind? His wife must fucking brainless for treating him like utter shit and turning his life upside down.

This man walked out of a book, he’s sweet, sensitive, caring, smart, cute, attractive, and really good in bed. Why would she do that?

You were never the type to praise a man or care for one emotionally because you’re a little sure that most of them are heartless really.

But Kim Namjoon needs to be treated with love, he deserves to be loved and to be taken care of.

There’s just one thing left to do, you’ve studied this man enough and now you need someone else to do that instead, you’re probably blinded by his good looks or something, so you need someone to see him differently.

“Do you have anything planned Friday?” You use your palms for support and jump to sit on the counter, he hums and looks up for a second trying to remember his schedule. “I’m supposed to fly to Gwangju tomorrow night, and I’m flying back Friday evening,” He nods when he remembers before he asks. “Do you wanna do something?”

You didn’t think it much, but this is the perfect opportunity to finally get him to meet your friends. “I’m planning to host a game night with my friends, and I want you to come over and join.”

He grabs the kitchen towel to dry his hands before he scratches the back of his neck, a little hesitated to answer.

“Don’t worry, they already know about you and they’re really nice people.”

You really wish you didn’t say that, because it obviously made him uncomfortable. You can tell from the way he fidgets in his spot and looks away. “I hope I didn’t make things awkward for you.” He says.

You shake your head immediately. “No, Hoseok found out when he saw you here a couple weeks ago, And Jimin actually found out on his own, you’ll get to see the others on Friday, but I promise, other than their inappropriate jokes and really loud arguments, they’re good people.”

He turns to face you again before a smirk sits on his face, taking a few steps closer to you. “So you want to introduce me to your friends?” And you playfully hit his chest, “They’re finally going to see the guy who fucked their friend huh?” He continues. Your face flushes red for a moment and you feel heat creeping all over your body.

He nods slowly. “Sure, I’d love to join then.”

-

“You’re kidding.” Of course it’s Kim Taehyung, who’s face suddenly drops and changes to the point you would barely recognize his features, he’s the last one to find out that Namjoon is joining you tonight and he clearly isn’t that glad about it. “Y/n, he lied to you, you can’t just-“

“I know.” You interrupt him, “I got to know the man very well in the past month, I just need you guys to help me, you’re a guy and you know how guys think, I really care about everyone’s opinion, but I care about yours the most.” You shut the cabinet after grabbing out large bowls for the chips.

You had everything completely planned, you refilled your fridge and mini bar with alcohol and other drinks, you stacked your pantry with different types of chips and candy, and you even made the dips and popped some popcorn.

“You already know my opinion.” He crosses his arms. “And I don’t think I’m going to change it.”

You roll your eyes and sigh. “Just give him a chance, oh and please oh please don’t scare him off and don’t do that thing with your face.” You pause. “Oh and please don’t mention anything about his personal life, I already warned the guys and now I’m telling you, he doesn’t have to know that you know.”

“I’m not going to mention anything, but I can’t promise you anything about not scaring him off.” He grabs the bowls and heads out to the living room, he’s really irritated that when he saw Jungkook in front of him, he snapped at him loudly. “Jungkook will you please move your fat ass and drag the poker table to the living room?” He scolds the younger which makes you laugh, you know the topic of Namjoon irritated him just because he’s really protective of you, they all are, but Taehyung never had close girl friends and you’re the first one ever, that’s why he protects you at all costs.

“I kinda wish Namjoon joined us all the time if you’re going to wear dresses like these.” Jungkook finally gets up to get the poker table, you cringe and kick him in the shin. “What a creep.”

You do admit you look good in that dress, you had just bought it, a dark grey shapewear slip dress that complemented and highlighted every single curve on your body, it had a square collar to bring out your tits, and it was a little above the knee. You matched it with the pair of slippers you wear around your house, cute but really attractive.

Jimin grabs the bowl of chips into his lap and starts eating. “Where is he anyway? Is he always late?”

You rub your forehead, all of them are acting weird today as if they got jealous, not jealous in a romantic way, but jealous in a possessive-over-their-friend jealous. “He landed an hour ago, so he should be here any minute.” You head back to the kitchen and take out ash trays, some of your friends were social smokers and they always light up a few smokes during game nights.

The door bell rings and you hear the rushing footsteps from the living room, and like the kids they are, they rush to check the cameras before they all take their seats and act nonchalant, but all eyes are on the door.

Poor Namjoon he’s about to be scared off.

“Can someone please get the door?” You yell from the kitchen.

Namjoon was a little taken back when the door was opened by Yoongi, he was expecting you to be the one to open, his eyes even wonder inside the house looking for you. “Hi.” Yoongi shoots a smile before stretching his hand out to shake Namjoon’s. “I’m Yoongi, come on in.”

And the moment Namjoon steps in, he lets out a nervous smile and looks around the room aching to find you, he’s getting nervous by the second especially when all of them are looking at him.

“Joon?” You finally get out of the kitchen with the ashtrays in one hand, and just like magic, Namjoon suddenly feels like he’s home, his breath is regular again and his heart beat is.. Well he’s still anxious about meeting your friends.

“There you are.” You purposely give him a hug and a kiss on his cheek in front of your friends. “How was your flight?”  He wraps one arm around you and kisses you back on the cheek .”It was great, you look outstanding.”

He did notice the dress and he so desperately wants to check you out but everyone is looking. You giggle and put your hand behind his back. “Guys, this is Namjoon.”

And you introduce him to each one of them, you were too occupied looking at Namjoon’s body language and behavior to notice any discomfort, but he’s doing surprisingly okay, not because your friends are nice to him, but because you’re here with him.

What you didn’t know is that Taehyung is studying this man head to toe, he knows how men look when they’re attracted to someone, and he knows how they even act, and he’s a little amused when he sees the way Namjoon looks at you, he knows that you two know each other for a month, but Namjoon’s looks give him away, he does have something for you, and it’s very obvious.

“Come on everyone, take your seats.” Seokjin stands up, Namjoon pulls a chair for you next to him and speaks. “y/n is on my team.” Which lights up the first argument around the table, calling you on his team is like calling out for shotgun and everyone wanted you to be on their team.

-

Namjoon sits between the hyenas and you’re genuinely scared when he’s around your friends, you still don’t know how far along Namjoon will be able to endure,  your friends are really heavy blooded and ruthless when it comes to joking and making fun of each other.

“It’s me, Namjoon, Yoongi and Mia against the rest of you.” Hoseok said while examining his cards.

You had already played a couple rounds and called it over, but they decided to continue playing since the bet just got higher and they all have alcohol in their systems.

“Yoongi and Mia should play in different teams.” Taehyung teases. “Make them fight.”

Yoongi flips Taehyung off and you look at Namjoon worried he may think this is too much, but he laughs and looks at his cards, his long fingers shuffling through them, a little too focused on them.

“Are they good?” You put your arm on the back of his chair, and he startles for a second, totally not used to being touched in public like that. “Hmm?” He looks at you, your noses almost brushing against each other. “Your cards.” You explain and brush a hair strand away from his face.

“Yeah, they’re not bad.” He says, looking back at his cards. “Come closer.” He proper grabs your chair and pulls you closer to him.

“Come on captain you’re up.” Jimin got way too excited, which makes everyone laughs at him at the nickname he just called Namjoon, and they continue calling him that for the rest of the game.

You get up to get more beer from the kitchen and you hear their voices go louder when the game gets hotter, you return to the living room and you see them pick at Namjoon for being too obvious with his expression, almost exposing his cards. He’s handling it well and biting back at them, they’re still joking of course. You grin and walk closer to him, wrapping an arm around him from behind. “Now stop teasing him will you.” You print a soft kiss on his neck, inhaling his perfume. “They’re just jealous you’re a better player.” You raise an eyebrow at the team playing against him.

Namjoon’s cheeks flush and his heart races a little, he’s been fighting the urge to touch you since the night started, he even finds himself salivating at the look of your bottom lip bitten between your teeth when you’re looking at him, his pants are getting a little uncomfortable for him.

Your actions don’t go unnoticed by your friends and you clearly see Jungkook smirking and Taehyung’s eyes locked onto Namjoon.

You pull your chair and get back into your seat next to him, you feel his thigh pressed against the side of yours and it burns to the touch, you’re trying so hard to control yourself but you’re on the verge of taking him to your bedroom for a little ‘chat’.

You lean in closer to put your chin on his shoulder and take a look at his cards, he’s already got the winning cards but he’s stalling you’re friends and messing with them. You look at him and your eyes meet, he grins and stares at your lips for a split second before looking back into your eyes.

Taehyung’s eyes are piercing at the two of you now which doesn’t go unnoticed by his girlfriend Jade, who ends up elbowing him subtly gaining his attention, but he just couldn’t help but to look back at Namjoon.

Taehyung himself has the highest body count out of everyone, and he’s been with way too many girls and he managed to get away with an excuse not to call them again, he even didn’t call Jade back after their first night together. He knows that men actually do end up calling back women they actually do find attractive, or women who they can benefit of.

Then he thinks, what would Namjoon want to benefit out of you? He’s financially stable, quite good looking he could just point out to any woman and she’ll go on her knees for him, a man with an admirable job, apparently someone who doesn’t mind long term relationship since he’s already married.

Oh yes, the man is married.

And Taehyung finds it funny that they’re all sitting there basically showing him that it’s okay to cheat on his wife with their best friend, gosh this is fucked up on so many levels.

Your friends know that Namjoon is your current fling, but if anyone outside of your circle who doesn’t get the context they would think you two are madly in love. No no…

They would think he’s madly in love.

Plus, Taehyung first considered Namjoon to be a total red flag, but after a couple hours from sitting around the table with him, he doesn’t seem half bad, actually, he’s really cool, and very smart.

Oh and for you?

You totally don’t care who’s looking and who’s not, you’re totally feeling up Namjoon’s thighs under the table, your fingers squeezing softly on his inner thigh, he manages to hide his facial expressions really well, but he man spreads his legs to give you more space to stroke more of his covered skin. “Royal flush.” He couldn’t wait to put his cards down on the table just so he can lay his palm over yours, proper grabbing it and putting it on his clothed erection. The idea itself is arousing the two of you when you’re surrounded by other people and teasing each other with touches from under the table.

“I’m calling Namjoon and y/n on my team the next round.” Hoseok calls which makes Seokjin argue. “That’s not fair, you only get to choose one.”

“Not a chance, Namjoon and I are a team.” You take a sip from your bear.

Of course Namjoon is unbothered by the argument, hell he’s not even listening, his eyes are fidgeting between your hand that’s rubbing his boner subtly under the table, and on your lips and chest rising when you’re breathing.

He could take you right now on the poker table and they can watch, he won’t mind.

-

“Next week, I promise I’ll find a place.” Hoseok suggests when they were already planning the next weekend with Namjoon, they usually discuss it with you but they’re all over the guy, and he’s doing pretty well that he was planning everything and they were listening carefully. You’re watching in awe as they talk to him like they’ve known him for years, and it makes you feel a little anxious.

You recall what he told you the other day, and he was totally right, this isn’t just a hookup, it’s way more than this and that’s what’s making you anxious.

Namjoon digs into his pocket to fish out his phone and he unlocks it. “My parents got this beach house on the outskirts, we could go there. It has a pool and a hot tub and we can light up the bonfire by the beach at night.”

Jungkook is standing really close to Namjoon, he even grabs the phone from the older’s hands and starts swiping through the pictures, an amused look on Jungkook’s face. “How rich are your parents? This house is incredible—Oops, sorry.” Both their faces change and you panic a little wondering what they saw, Jungkook swiped too far and a picture of Jay appears on the screen, of course Jungkook is smart enough to swipe back to the previous photos quickly without making it seem awkward, but it actually is.

You even earn a look from both Taehyung and Seokjin, the air even tenses up a little, you look at Namjoon who contains himself and acts like nothing happened, he thinks that they don’t know, and that they will probably assume that it’s his nephew or brother or anything. But really, they all do know and they’re not acting oblivious enough, thank god he doesn’t notice.

“Okay, clear up your schedules for the next weekend, no excuses y/n.” Jimin speaks sarcastically and you realize you’re holding your breath, you rejected going with them a couple weeks ago, but now since you have your plus one, you actually wanna go. “Shut up.” You squint your eyes at him.

“I should get going.” Seokjin gets up. “I’m on call tomorrow.”

“I need to go too, I’m visiting my parents tomorrow.” Jimin gets up too and walks closer to give you a hug. “I had so much fun tonight, thanks for having us.”

“I had fun too.” You kiss his cheek. “Drive safe.” And he bids goodbye with Seokjin and they get going.

You grab the empty plates and pickup the empty cans of bear when Mia gets up to grab the rest of the empty bowls. “Let me help you.”

Both of you head to the kitchen and you start rinsing the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, you can sense that Mia has something to say from the way she’s hovering around you and scratching her eyebrow awkwardly, her eyes carefully scanning you. “Are you okay?” You ask.

You and Mia always shared secrets together and she was always there for you, and so were you, she came up to you for an advice every time she had an argument with Yoongi, you both trust each other.

“Do you not see it?” She whispers, her hand sitting on her hip, one of your eyebrows cocks up in confusion, you’re totally clueless on what she’s about to say. “See what?”

“The way he looks at you, he’s head over heels.”

You roll your eyes before you chuckle. “Mia, Namjoon and I met exactly 6 weeks ago, of course he’s not head over heels for me, what are you talking about.”

“Honey, Yoongi asked me to be his girlfriend after our third date.” She spits. “And look at us now.”

You shrug one shoulder and shake your head. “I can’t see what you’re talking about, he’s still married and he has a child, so this is all probably temporary, no strings attached.”

“No strings attached?” She laughs quietly. “Girl, he’s over here handling your annoying friends on a Friday night. Plus, he’s getting a divorce, so this doesn’t count.”

You pause for a second before you look at the woman. “Who told you that?”

“Hobi told us.” She bites on her fingernails, the asshole did read the papers, but why didn’t he tell you?

“It doesn’t mean anything, he’s not getting the divorce because of me.” You step on the pedal of the trashcan to get rid of the empty cans of drinks.

She sighs. “I’m just saying think it through—“

“Of course I’m not going to, especially when I don’t know where he is about this.” You interrupt her, you had a point. Of course you’re not going to like a man who you met only 6 weeks ago, what if he was on a total different page than where you think you are?

“Baby? Come on, we should be going home.” Yoongi leans against the kitchen door frame and he feels like he interrupted something. “Is there anything wrong?”

“Not at all.” You turn towards the sink and wash your hands.

“What do you think about Namjoon?” Mia asks, her arms crossed, she already knows what her husband thinks, she just wants you to know that he thinks the same.

Yoongi pauses for a second before he puts his hands in his pockets. “I personally think he’s okay, but Jungkook out there is all over your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.” You grit on your teeth before you peak your head out of the kitchen door, Jungkook is sitting really close next to Namjoon, and both of them are in what seems to be an important topic,  before he flexes his arm muscles and feels up Namjoon’s. Men.

You roll your eyes and get back into the kitchen. “Jungkook is all over everyone even himself.”

Yoongi laughs quietly before walking closer to you, pulling you into a soft hug. “It doesn’t matter what we think y/n, it’s what you think that matters. I know you wanted us to study the man, and we do actually like him, but it’s you who matters.” And his wife nods eagerly showing you that this somehow was her point too before she adds. “And he seems to fancy you a lot.”

“Yeah.” Yoongi agrees. “But take it slow, will you? The man is still married and we don’t know what’s happening next.”

You sigh and rub your forehead. He’s making sense, and you’re not sure why you’re a little afraid to admit that you finally like someone, but you do, except no matter how hard you think it’s okay to like someone, it still feels wrong when he’s involved with someone else.

“We had so much fun tonight, take care chief.” He squeezes you closer and kisses your cheek. “Goodnight.”

You walk them towards the door, they bid goodbye to everyone before they leave. Jungkook is still occupied talking with Namjoon and the poor guy is listening and he seems to be actually interested.

Taehyung and his girlfriend finally get up too, he walks closer to you to pull you in for a hug. “We had so much fun tonight.” He prints a soft kiss on your cheek before he whispers. “You wanna go out for coffee tomorrow? Just us two.”

You wrap your arms around him and kiss him back on the cheek. “Sure, I’ll call you.” You’re a little glad he suggested this date, you know he’s going to let it all out.

He nods and pulls back before saying goodbye to everyone, actually handshaking Namjoon specifically with a smile on his face, before he grabs his girlfriend and leaves.

You finally walk closer to Namjoon who’s sitting on the couch with his arms crossed, Jungook in front of him on the coffee table not planning to shut his mouth anytime soon, you squeeze in between them and sit on Namjoon’s leg and hug him closer.

The poor man isn’t used to being touched like this or publicly shown affection at all, he’s startled to the point where he doesn’t know what to do with his hands, you grab his arm and put it explicitly on your ass, totally unbothered by the existence of Hoseok and Jungkook.

They’ve done a lot worse so you secretly think that it’s your turn to finally do things like that.

“Did he give you a headache?” You pout, running your fingers through his hair and scratching the back of his head, he melts completely by your touch and he even closes his eyes, barely shaking his head.

“Oh, I’m the one having a headache, you’ve been blabbering nonstop.” Hoseok complains, gritting on his teeth at Jungkook, he gets up and collects his wallet and keys. “I’m going home, I’ll see you next week Namjoon.”

He manages to kiss you on the cheek softly while you’re still sitting on Namjoon’s legs before leaving and forcing Jungkook to finally leave.

You fall next to Namjoon on the couch, yawning and stretching your arms. “Can you please lock the door?”

He laughs quietly before using his palms for support to hover over you, printing a few kisses on your jaw and neck. “But I need to go home.” To which you immediately pout, “One night won’t hurt.”

He leans his forehead against yours and comes to realization, that the last time his lips touched yours was actually very long ago, and as much as he actually wanted to just fuck you senseless, he’s holding back to avoid making you uncomfortable, he doesn’t even dare to press his lips against yours.

He also can’t say no to you, he shrugs it off and finally nods. “One night won’t hurt.”

Even though both of you have been teasing each other with touches the entire night, you still can’t do anything with him since you’re on the last few days of your period.

He rises up on his feet and moves towards the door to lock it before clicking on a few buttons to dim the lights. And from his walk back towards you, you can easily tell that he’s been suffering with his boner that’s hiding in his jeans.

“I’m sorry.” You giggle playfully, he follows your eyesight and scoffs, his hands immediately rushing to his pockets to relieve some of the tightness. “Don’t worry, I got used to having blue balls my entire life.” He sarcastically speaks.

His joke makes you laugh your heart out, your head even falls back on the couch. He finds it contagious that he laughs with you, walking closer to lean his palm on the back of the couch and leaning down to kiss you on the neck and jaw, your laugh slowly halting down and your bottom lip sits between your teeth. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” He grabs you by your hand and pulls you up.

To say he’s trying so hard is an understatement. The way you currently look is making him near losing it, your hair is frizzy and your eyes are half closed, even your dress is no longer covering your legs. Fuck he needs to touch you.

“Ugh.” You groan when you look at the poker table. “Can you please take it inside?”

He looks back at the poker table and carries it up, his veiny arms about to rip his t-shirt open when they bulge, this big boy is insanely attractive that it’s hard for you to keep your hands to yourself.

-

“Of course not.” He pouts, you’re both in bed, your head on his bare chest and he’s tugging random strands of your hair, you look at him and squint your eyes. “Well, I do mind.”

He’s been trying to convince you since the moment you two got in bed, that he won’t mind sex during your period, and of course you argued with the only reasonable excuse, it’s going  to be a blood bath.

“Are you saying you don’t mind other stuff?” He suggestively asks, his finger tapping your nose softly, you know exactly what he means and you take a second to answer. “I don’t know, the whole idea is odd to me.”

He shrugs one shoulder. “We can try if you want to.” Which makes you scoff and roll your eyes. “You’re just saying that because your dick won’t go soft.” And he nods quickly. “I know, it won’t go soft when you’re this close to me and I can’t touch you.”

This knot sits in the pit of your stomach and you feel your body heat up, it feels really good to be sexually craved by someone, you love hearing it so much. “I can’t say I’m not flattered.” You lie down on your stomach, your elbows supporting your upper half as you grab a strand of your hair messing with it. “We could try I guess.”

He looks at your lips and licks his lower one, he could easily bust a nut at how far his imagination is going. “Okay.” He throws the blanket away from your bodies and drops it on the floor before bucking his hips up to pull his boxers down, his throbbing and already leaking cock slams against his lower stomach, the head already red and sensitive.

You swallow when you’re mouth suddenly excretes a stupid amount of saliva, you could kill to just choke on  his dick, you want to make him feel good.

He leans both his arms behind his head and gives you an inviting look, he’s fully surrendered to you, he wants you to help him.

You spit on your palm and wrap your fingers around his cock, instant heat rushes through his body and even his legs spread apart a little. He swallows once, his hand then moves to caress the side of your face softly, he’s been waiting for this moment for a while now.

You stroke his erection slowly, your  eyes focused on the only task you have in your hand, you wanted to just jerk him off at the beginning, but now you need to taste him.

You move your mouth closer to his dick and print the softest kiss on the tip, your eyes now locked into his, you lick once from the base of his shaft to the very tip, a string of saliva mixes with his precum and stays attached to your bottom lip, your other hand moves to the tip to smear his precum with your index finger before you put  it in your mouth, the saltiness sits on your taste buds, and it tastes fucking good.

His cock twitches in your hand at the sight of you doing so, you even giggle playfully and kiss the head again. “All that for me?” You whisper. His eyes almost roll to the back of his head when you wrap your lips around the head and bob your head down and up, your hair falling on your face. “Good fucking girl, just like  that.”

You bob your head lower each time before you pull back and stroke it again, you look him into the eyes and speak with a low voice. “I can suck your cock better than she does”

“Fuck!” He moans at the top of his lungs before he accidentally cums too fast, you even gasp when he shoots his cum in the air and it lands down on his stomach and on your hand, a little drop falling on the corner of your mouth, he holds the bed sheets into his fist and bucks his up with every spill. “Mmm,” His chest heaves dramatically when he’s done, his cock still in your hand and you’re still stroking him slowly. “Look at the mess you made.” You teasingly click your tongue, he looks down at you and smiles lazily. “This is so fucking embarrassing.”

You giggle and climb up towards him, you press the softest kiss on his lips and he immediately kisses you back eagerly, begging to feel more of your lips against his, he’s been wanting to kiss you the entire night, he licks your bottom lip and grabs your head closer, his tongue licks the small drop of his cum near your lips and he spits it into your mouth and you’re more than glad to swallow it.

He pulls back from the kiss and grabs your hand. “Let me clean you up.” He licks every drop of cum off of your fingers and kisses you back on the lips to spit the remaining cum into your mouth and again you swallow.

He wraps his arms around your hips and turns you so you lay flat on the bed, he hovers on top of you and prints small kisses repeatedly on your lips before he moves down to your neck, kissing it and licking softly which makes your body heat up again.

Namjoon never had the chance to study the female body correctly, his previous sexual life was solely just about getting the job done, of course it felt good to him, but with you this whole experience feels new to him and it’s filled with ecstasy. He wanted to explore your body, know what you’re into, not just because it felt insanely erotic to him, but he wanted to please you and make you feel good and satisfied.

He moves down to your chest, your nipples are perked up from underneath your tight white top from the blood pumping all over your body, almost begging to be touched by him, his index finger circles your hard covered nipple softly, his eyes focused on it and his tongue running on his lower lip.

He sticks his tongue out and licks the fabric once, rubs it with his index finger again and now using his thumb to pinch it lightly, your cunt feels numb and you can’t press your thighs together since he’s nestled between your legs.

The moisture he applied to your clothed nipple makes the shirt no longer white, it’s started to get see through and he can see it better now. “You can take my top off if you want to.” You suggest, a little out of breath, he looks up into your face to see the really obvious red flush on your face, now he’s a little more eager to make you cum.

He doesn’t hesitate as his warm fingers climb on your torso from under the shirt and he throws it off of you, your breasts fully exposed to him now, one of his hands lean on the pillow behind you to support his upper half, and the other gropes your breast in a tight grip, fuck, It hurts, but still feels so good.

He leans down and licks the valley between your tits and licks your nipple before sucking on it for his dear life, pulling his head back a little with your breast still in his mouth, the tugging makes your back arch against him, your hand moves to grab his wrist that’s leaning against the pillow. “Shit.” You clench your jaw when you feel your nipple sitting between his teeth, your eyes meet and he grins, almost threatening to actually bite it.

You grab onto his face, your thumb on his right cheek and the rest of your fingers on his left one. “No biting.”

Seeing you under him like that is more than enough to make him erect all over again like he didn’t just shoot a load a couple minutes ago, you find out when you accidentally graze your thigh between his legs and you feel his cock brushing against your skin. You really are flattered.

And he obeys, moving to your other breast to give it some love, before he turns you to lay on your side, and he lays behind you skin to skin, his arm sits under your head and he leans his forehead on the side of your face to kiss your ear. “Did I tell you how much I liked the dress you were wearing tonight?”

Your eyes automatically shut when you feel his hot breath into your ear when he speaks, you let out a breath when your head falls back against his. “You had no idea how much I wanted to bend you over that poker table and fuck your tight cunt.” He whispers, no he explicitly moans into your ear when he speaks. “Let them see how good your man can stretch that tight little pussy of yours.”

You shut your eyes tightly and you can’t take it anymore, you need to cum, you need him to touch you or do anything, you have to cum. “Fuck, Namjoon it hurts.”

“Hmm?” He hums, kissing your ear again, your hand moves to hold onto his that you’re leaning your head onto, you squeeze onto his palm and beg. “Please, please make me cum.”

He could embarrassingly cum fast like he did a couple minutes ago, but this time he’s able to hold back.

“You wanna cum?” He teasingly asks, his free hand grazes on the side of your body before it moves to your ass, he squeezes it into his palm and gives you the hardest spank ever, your butt cheek tingles with heat, on regular bases it would hurt, but now, it’s pushing you closer to your end.

His fingers hook on the elastic band of your panties before he pulls it down to reach your thighs, then wraps his fingers around his erection and settles it against your folds, your wet cunt glazing his cock and making it glisten when he rubs it in between your folds.

The numbness in your cunt hurts and you could feel your arousal on your own thighs, you’re getting way too impatient and eager for him that you grind your hips against his. You know he’s not going to penetrate since you’re basically still on your period, so grinding will do the job.

He grabs onto the back of your thigh and lifts one of your legs up to give him the desired space to start grinding against your folds, the slickness from your cunt making it easier to grind against you.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head when you feel the tip of his dick rub against your throbbing clitoris repeatedly, your jaw drops and you even reach for the back of his head behind you and pull onto his hair. “You’re gonna make me cum, please—“

“I know baby, can you hold back for me just a little?” He whispers into your ear, his irregular breath against your ear sending shivers across your body. “Just a little.” And you respond with shaking your head, your lips falling between your teeth, the knot inside your stomach is going to burst any second now. “I can’t.” You tug onto his hair tighter and grind your hips against his, your butt cheek slams against his body and you finally release, the heat washes through your spine and back and you could see starts in your eyes. “Ha.. Namjoon, I’m sorry.. I couldn’t.” Your hand falls and you start panting for a breath.

He kisses your ear softly and runs his hand on your thighs, pressing his fingers lightly into your skin and he can feel the heat of your body on his fingers tips. “You’re off the hook this time.” He teasingly whispers before he pulls back from behind you, his eyes land on his dick and he sees how much you’ve soaked him with your cream and he smirks, totally ignoring the little smear of blood on his dick.

He sits up on his knees on the bed and helps you lay flat on the bed again before pressing his lips against yours for a few wet kisses, his tongue grazing on your lower lip, his hand grabs onto yours and he leads it to his cock that’s seconds away to busting a nut.

Your body already feels loose that it takes you seconds to gather the strength to stroke his cock, taking the speed up every second, pleasure washes through his entire body that he can’t focus on the kiss and return it to you, his forehead falls against yours and his jaw falls down, his breath quickening and his eyelids falling down slowly. “That’s it.” He managed to hiss under his breath, both his palms sit on the pillow behind you and he lets you do all the work, your hands are getting tired that you have to stop for a second to change your rhythm, which makes him hold his cock into his own hands and stroke it fast.

You feel the need to not waste a drop, so you position your head near his cock and stick your tongue out, clearly telling him to cum on your mouth and face, and that’s the last thing he needs to see so he just lets go and shoots out continuous ribbons of his seed on your tongue and face, decorating it just the way he likes, and he swears you looked fucking gorgeous with his cum all over your face. “Fuck-“ He grunts and his hand falls down, his cock twitching and still shooting out cum on your tongue.

One of your hand grazes on his big thighs and the other one just cleans the cum off of your face to put it into your mouth, your eyes meets his and he stares at you out of breath and in awe, watching you clean every drop of his seed and put it into your mouth, you smirk when you see his cock twitching at the sight, before you stick your tongue out to show him the cum you gathered inside your mouth and swallow it, giving your lower lip a single lick. “Hmm.” You sit up on your knees and pull your panties back up, before wrapping your arms around his shoulder and smacking your tongue teasingly at him. “You taste okay.” You shrug, which makes him laugh and wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him, his soft dick grazing on your lower stomach. “You’re fucking incredible.”

“I know.” You tease and kiss his cheek once. “Now you can go to sleep.”

Both of you lay down on the bed, his back faces you and you hug him from behind, kissing his bare shoulder softly before you finally go to sleep.

-

You walk into the warm café and the scent of the freshly roasted coffee beans and freshly bakes pastries wafts through your nose, you miss going to cafés like that since you’ve been deprived from it ever since you started your job, you used to study in coffee shops back then.

You look around and finally spot Taehyung on one of the tables waving his hand towards you, you walk closer to him, give him a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek, before you pull the chair across from him and take a seat.

Almost one hour in and you two spend it catching up on daily things, his job, yours, his girlfriend and how he’s planning to ask her to move it, before he finally speaks of the not so forgotten topic and asks you about Namjoon.

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking you?” You ask him, your eyes locked into his face to study his features, you’re getting anxious slowly and impatient to know what he thinks.

He takes a long sip of his iced Americano before he rests his back against the chair and crosses his arms. “Does it matter what I say?” And that confuses you for a second. “He seems to like you, but we need to address the elephant in the room y/n, he’s still married and you don’t even know where you are on this whole thing.” He shrugs.

You lean your elbows on the table and shrug. “You’re right, but I’m not being delusional Tae, he clearly feels something, don’t you think?”

And he nods. “Perhaps, yeah.” Before he continues. “Look we just need to give it some time, you guys just started talking and you’re just high on each other.”

You huff and take a sip of your drink. “The man is perfect” And it feels like a heavy weight on your shoulder just disappeared when you finally said that to someone. Taehyung grins and shrugs slightly. “The guys like him.”

“And you?”

“I do.” He says. “But it doesn’t matter what any of us thinks, it’s all up to you.”

“You’re not really helping me.” You whine and hit his leg from under the table.

“We can’t discuss anything right now, we need to know where he is at least, we could be reading him wrong after all.” He rubs his leg before cursing at you under his breath.

“Then what are we doing here?” You blink your eyes, “I thought we were going to discuss the entire thing.”

“I just want you to take everything slow, we’re all here for you and we’ve got your back.” He puts his hand over yours and squeezes it softly. “You’re a successful woman, who’s smart enough to take her own decisions and know what’s good for her and what’s not.”

You thought the heavy weight on your shoulders is gone but it’s slowly returning, you’ve always seen people falling in and out of love and you always rolled your eyes at the entire idea, why would people deliberately go through relationships when most of them go down the pooper? That’s why you never did relationships.

And now for a second you judge Namjoon, this man is going through a rough patch in his life all because of his failed marriage, and yet again he’s right here, clearly developing feelings for you and choosing to go sort of the same path again.

“You���re right.” You nod. “I would be lying if I told you I didn’t like the man, I actually do and he ticks everything on my list, I just need to be careful, that’s all.”

“Good.” He squeezes your hand again for reassurance. “How good is the sex?”

Your drink goes through your nose and you actually choke, you cover your mouth and cough repeatedly trying to clear out your airway. “Shut up.” You manage to curse at him.

-

“What do you mean? Of course this can’t happen.” Her father is in mere denial, the divorce papers fall accidentally in his hands. Copies has been sent in the mail on Monday morning to him and his daughter.

She wanted this to happen long time ago but she didn’t realize that she’s dragging down her entire family with her. She too was silenced and forced by her father to do the whole thing since the beginning, so she saw it coming.

She’s going to have to pay for all the manipulation that was done by her family to Namjoon’s.

Namjoon didn’t even tell anyone about the divorce that was going to happen, he filed for it a little before he met you, and then when he did meet you, he knew that he cannot and will not end up with the woman he has under his roof, this can’t be his ending. So he called a few people and even paid his lawyer to help him end it faster.

Her on the other hand just locked the door behind her when she got back to their house, the mail is in her hand and although the title is already clear, she’s still confused by it..

Ministry of Justice,

Seoul family court, Gangnam.

Divorce Agreement.

With her full name on it, she squints her eyes and finally opens the mail eagerly, almost ripping the envelope, luckily Jay slept on the way home, she carried him into his bed before she opened the mail.

It’s her name, and Namjoon’s name, she did see it coming, but she never knew how she would react. But she’s breaking into cold sweat, worried what her family might think if they knew.

Her purpose of this marriage is long gone when she finished her education that was paid by Namjoon’s parents, her parents live off of his family now, but she never needed their money, she never bought herself clothes, makeup, or even anything she craved because it’s their money.

She didn’t pay actual money for her education, she paid her life when she decided to share it with Namjoon.

She despises him, the way he talks, the way he moves, his hands, his eyes, his face. She hates his sense of humor, his voice tone. She even hates the way he breathes or snores. She too, can’t end up with him.

And no matter how hard she tried to convince her family that she’d do anything to make them live a better life without the Kim’s, it ended up with fights and arguments and actual threats from them.

So she went with it, married the man, but she made a promise to herself, that she’s going to turn his life into hell, she never cared what would happen to him, or if it would hurt him or not, so she just went ahead.

And the divorce papers in her hand are the actual clue that her plan worked. But fuck, she knows that this divorce will wreck their lives. She’s terrified by her family.

The door unlocks and Namjoon walks in and he’s in his uniform since he just flew back from Gwangju, he doesn’t even bother to look at her, he kicks off his shoes and loosens his tie.

Something inside her tells her to just make things right, so she just hides the papers back into the envelope and quickly into her purse. “N-namjoon?”

He turns his back to her and walks into his room, closing the door behind him, he still doesn’t know that she got the papers.

She takes a few steps closer to the door and her hand hovers over the door knob, she’s a split second away from opening the door, but Namjoon locks it from the inside.

She doesn’t know what she wants, or what to do.

-

“Please? I’ve been wanting to go for a while.” He whines with a pout on his face that you can hear through the phone.

You’re in your bed, you were sleeping before he called you since you were on the previous night shift, you have the phone pressed against your ear with your eyes still closed, he’s been trying to convince you about the wine tasting tour.

“I’ll come pick you up, and you can call it a date.”

Your eyes are no longer closed when he speaks of a date this easily, you two haven’t been together alone in public other than the day of your conference, and it was a coincidence that day. But he’s asking you to go out on a date with him, and you weren’t even sure you were at that point yet.

“Joon—“ You sigh. “I don’t know.”  Your phone starts vibrating in your hand and you look at the screen to find him requesting a video chat, and you don’t hesitate a second to accept the call.

Your faces meet and he’s lost at the sight of you for a second before he smiles, his pearly whites and dimples clearly visible. “You’re still in bed?” He asks, leaning his phone on the nightstand near his bed, you could see him topless and unzipping his pants.

“Yeah.” You rub  your eyes and stretch, leaning your phone against the pillow next to yours and snuggling under the blanket. “How was your flight?”

“Don’t change the subject.” He smirks. “Are we going wine tasting tonight?” a smile creeps on your face before you click your tongue. “Let me think about it, I need time to decide.”

He puts his clothes on the couch next to his bed while laughing and walking back to his phone to grab it. “Alright. Until then, what are you wearing?” He licks on his bottom lip as he finally sits on his bed and lights up a cigarette.

You take a long breath before you teasingly look under your blanket.

It’s boiling hot outside, and you’ve had too many snacks on your shift that you couldn’t wait to get home and actually get rid of your scrubs, so you chose to sleep with only your panties.

“A ball gown.” You joke, barely stifling a smirk. And he laughs quietly, trying not to be loud. “I don’t believe you.”

“I like to dress to impress, mister Kim.” You giggle, he raises an eyebrow and blows a cloud of smoke. “Then show it to me.”

He knows you’re not wearing anything since he can see your bare shoulders, you have your blanket covering your upper half. “How was your flight again?” You ask and he rolls his eyes. “You’re such a tease.”

You crack a laugh at him before you finally nod. “Alright, I’ll go on the wine tasting tour with you.”

“Thank you.” He smiles at his phone screen. “I’ll come by this afternoon and we’ll be picked up from your place.”

Namjoon heard about this tour from one of the cabin crew earlier this week, and he’s been wanting to go since then and he wanted to go with you, he’s itching to show you off in public even when he still can’t and you two aren’t even labeled yet.

He enjoys your company so much, and he knows you do too, he can be himself around you and he knows he won’t be judged.

“Okay.” You yawn and snuggle into your blanket, still sleepy. “Can I get back to sleep?”

His lips curve into a little smile when he admires how cute you look when you’re tired and sleepy, he’s admiring your face for too long that he even forgot to answer you. “Namjoon?” You ask, which snaps him out of his thoughts. “Yeah, alright. I’ll see you later.”

You nod before you wave your hand to him, he waves back and finally ends the call and you go back to sleep.

Namjoon on the other hand, finishes booking for the tour while he’s taking the last few puffs of his cigarettes before his phone starts to glitch, it seems to be that there are two people calling him at the same time, and it’s his father and father in law, which makes him panic for a second.

Of course he decides to ignore his father in law’s call and call back his own father. “Dad?”

His father’s voice tone full of worry when speaks. “Namjoon? What’s the matter? Is it true what they’re talking about?”

Namjoon is completely clueless that everyone knows of the divorce now, he’s even clueless that his wife got the papers. “What are you talking about?”

“The divorce? Is it really happening?” He asks, and Namjoon doesn’t hesitate for a second to answer. “Yes dad, I made that decision on my own.”

“You two were incredible together, what’s the matter?” That makes Namjoon scoff, “Are you sure we can’t work things out?”

“No dad, nothing can fix this.” Namjoon swallows the dry lump in his throat, he regrets the years he spent with his wife, he wishes he can just erase that chapter from his life because it did engrave a type of trauma into him.

His father is in denial and so is his father in law, everything seemed to be okay to them, but they never saw anything behind closed doors.

“Please tell him to never contact me, and if he has anything to say, tell him to save it until the day of the hearing.” Namjoon says with a solid tone, not willing to negotiate the entire thing what so ever.

“When’s your hearing?” His father asks and Namjoon answers. “September 12th.”

An audible sigh escapes his father’s mouth. “But son, that’s your birthday.”

“I know, and I got everything under control dad, don’t worry.” Namjoon’s stomach drops when he speaks of the hearing, he feels extremely anxious and  impatiient.

He’s confident that after going through this difficult and challenging experience, he will be starting fresh and new that day.

He cannot wait to feel reborn.

[lovieku]

GOOD LUCK, BABE! #3 ⋆ 정국

what happens when you leave everything behind, only to be faced with it again years later? eunbi is convinced she was given another shot at keeping all she ever wanted, but it’s difficult when that all is her childhood best friend who doesn’t want to do anything with her anymore. how to earn his trust back?

☾ pairing: non idol!jk x fem!oc

☾ genre: childhood friends to strangers, friends to lovers, angst, fluff, smut

☾ word count: 9k +

☾ warnings: explicit language. say hi to eunbi!!! and to the friend group!!! its a bit funny until it becomes angsty … ouch. jeongguk is a bitch lowkey. pun unintended (you’ll see). theyre dramatic as hell. like bro it cant be that serious 😭. im sawrry for this. and its not all!!! see you in fourth chapter 🫡

☾ author’s note: hi hi hi!!! this took a bit to fully convince me but in the end it did. i was frustrated because i felt like i couldnt really use my words properly to tell the whole thing but… here we are now!!! thank u!!! enjoy 🫶🏻

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three ⋆ this is me trying

Up to that point, Eunbi’s life has been a constant adjusting to new surroundings, leaving bits and pieces behind, getting attached to new ones, and hoping they wouldn’t be taken away from her. It would always end up as she feared it would, though. From as early as she can remember, Eunbi would live off her blue backpack, where she gathered a toothbrush, a change of clothes and her favourite plushie to help her sleep and adapt faster to the smaller bed at her dad’s house. When her parents had divorced, it had been a rough patch before the both of them could come to a legal agreement; that being, she would spend the weekend with her father, and then stay with her mother again until Friday rolled around.

She rarely looks back at those days now, but when she does — mostly at night, her mind seemingly incapable of putting a stop to her furious flow of thoughts and just sleep — she thinks if it hadn’t happened to her when she was still pliable and mouldable, when she was yet to be met with what ordinariness was supposed to look like for others, she wouldn’t have been ready to wholly face all that followed. Eunbi was young when she learned that love between two people could end so easily, and her innocent self accepted that as the norm.

As a result, what she found harder to accept, more than her own mother and father not even being able to stand next to one another without ending up quarrelling, was having to leave her small black poodle in Gwangju, with her grandma, after moving away to Busan. Curly (little Eunbi had given him that name for obvious reasons, and to this very day she finds it dumb, but it makes her giggle nonetheless) had been a great companion through the inevitable loneliness she had to face as an only child. She was convinced he could understand her better than no other, even when she would force the tiny creature to sit and listen to her ramble on.

Busan was the next big change that was pushed onto Eunbi, only a few years after her mother got engaged to a man that would soon replace her biological father: with time, sleeping over at his house for the weekend was no longer even a contemplated thought on his side, coming up with excuses after excuses as not to, and that slowly led to showing less and less interest in keeping up with her and meeting up. The little girl had always been numb in relation to such negligence, and because of this she could consider herself lucky in some distorted sense; it didn’t affect her as much as it should have.

Part of that was also due to her step-dad being a great father figure during the initial times of his and her mom’s relationship, making sure to adapt to Eunbi’s pace and boundaries, never overstepping while also being able to bring fun into her life by taking the family out to visit places and eat delicious meals. What he couldn’t do for her, however, was live with a dog. When he and her mother decided to finally move together following their wedding, they both agreed on wanting to restart from a brand new place. Busan was their perfect pick for a variety of reasons: her mom got offered a job at a recently established company that seemed promising, and her step-dad could fulfil his deep-rooted dream of expanding his by starting a new branch.

Every single thing about him seemed perfect to her mom’s eyes, even if he was apparently deathly allergic to dog’s fur. And, of course, she picked her husband over Curly. Eunbi couldn’t believe it, nor accept it. The girl cried over the small dog for the two weeks prior to moving, during the trip to Busan, and for the following days there. Her grandmother would keep her updated by sending pictures of Curly through email, and even after the scar had healed, those would never fail to make her tear up.

As shameful as it might be to admit it, after having dried herself from half the water that made up her body because of the constant crying, it didn’t take long for the scar to close. When she first stepped foot in the big city by the seaside, Curly showed up right in front of her. Just in human form. Big eyes, long black hair and puppy manners, her neighbour was definitely sent to her by something greater. Eunbi was obsessed. It didn’t show at first, her pride prevailing. But it was harder and harder to fight against it. Jeongguk was simply too easy to love.

They became inseparable. Wherever he was, better believe she was there too, attached at his hip. And if they showed up alone, people would naturally ask about the other. Because the moon is never seen without its stars, and sunflowers only ever turn to face the sun. Their bond could be perceived by anyone as unbreakable, a friendship to envy and wish for, and every brick that built it had resulted in the creation of their own safe haven that only had space to contain the two of them. Not anybody else could be let in, the bubble exclusively recognised their password. It wasn’t composed of words, or numbers. It was the look of understanding they would share; the white lies used to cover the mischief of the other; their own handshake, accompanied by an original friendship jingle that Eunbi came up with randomly; the assurance that they could reveal their biggest secrets to one another, and they’d be kept like an oath.

There’s many of those that Eunbi shamelessly revealed to Jeongguk, some with intent and others unleashed spontaneously during their many endless talks. But when she thinks of it, she never admitted the single one that really mattered, the one that her best friend in the whole world needed to know, and remember. At all times. In any circumstance. It wasn’t a secret, it was more a result of her pondering; it came to a full reasonable thought only years later, and by then it was too late to tell him.

Eunbi thinks, and she’s sure, Jeongguk was the reason why all that came before the two of them had to happen. If it didn’t, she would have spent her whole life looking for that missing puzzle piece: under the cushions of the couch, in between her bed sheets, accidentally thrown away in the bin. It was as if all the hardships she experienced were justified, because at the end of the tunnel Jeongguk was waiting for her. And everything finally made sense. The puzzle was complete. Jeongguk was the reason himself. He was sent to teach her an important lesson: everything happens for a reason. There’s a cause and an effect, and even if the cause was suffering, at least the effect was her favourite boy.

Then, a gust of wind had wiped the puzzle to the ground, every single piece losing its place. When her best friend was taken away from her, she stopped being so convinced with the thought she herself had harboured, because she suddenly couldn’t find the meaning behind such a cruel fate. If everything really happened for a reason, then what was it? Jeongguk helped her see colours, only to return to black and white. Leaving him behind had marked the death of a version of herself that she would never get back.

Seoul was big, and harder to adjust to, even more with the baggage she was now dragging behind. Unpacking it, she found out all she had brought with her was a shattered trust and a soon to be broken promise to never get attached again. It was hard to be faithful to such an imposition, when Eunbi was born to give out love. It was hidden in that luggage, in between fears and regrets, but surely present.

And it prevailed in the end. Even at a slower pace, love found its way up and helped a lost Eunbi navigate the big capital city, promising new beginnings and healing. She found that in the faces of people that she would then start to recognise as friends, inside warm cafes during the coldest days of winter, and in the certainty that no matter where she is, she is always looking up at the same moon.

What she has built in Seoul so far feels the closest to stability that she has experienced in years. Starting university and meeting Dahye was the last bit of convincing it took to make her consider once again that a reason could exist, and that in the end it would make sense. Maybe not totally. Maybe just partly is enough after all.

Until, seeing a pair of familiar starry eyes in the midst of dull ones was all she needed to firmly believe in what she had been finding hard to accept. It took one shared look for past and present to get blurred together, and the mixture of old with new feelings created a mess. It was nice, nonetheless. Better than the seemingly impossible to get rid of emptiness at the pit of her heart.

Behind her eyes, Eunbi could see the puzzle slowly reaching its final form again, this time with more missing pieces, but the image was at least recognisable. When Jeongguk showed up in front of her again like magic, she contemplated becoming religious. Getting to her knees and starting praying to whatever greater force was shining on her path to please keep doing that. None of that showed on the outside, her smile breaking and mirroring the expression on the boy’s face. Pure sorrow. She knew she was probably the last person on earth Jeongguk wanted to see, and the fact that he wasn’t even trying to mask it didn’t help.

The most rational response she could come up with at that moment was to act as if nothing ever happened. And then, the bricks that a long time ago held together their safe bubble were being used by the boy to raise a high wall between them, making sure accessing his space would be impossible for Eunbi. Who could blame him? Still, the happiness she shamelessly felt when Jeongguk showed up at her 20th birthday party was too consuming, she selfishly wished for the rest of her birthdays to always look like that as she blew the candles. Nonetheless, when he suddenly left sprinting on his bike she knew the gods would need time to grant her desire. Although, this time around she had faith.

She doesn’t know how long it would take for it to break, though. September getting closer and closer only means that Jeongguk’s birthday is just around the corner. As part of his friend group, she had been involved in the process that led to organising the surprise camping trip, even if she didn’t exactly participate. After all, she doesn’t get to say she knows the boy better than anyone, anymore. Jeongguk has evidently changed, and as a consequence she knows way less about him than the others.

For that exact reason, Eunbi had made various attempts to back down from the trip, fearing her presence could significantly ruin it for the celebrated boy. At first, she tried to be casual about it with Dahye, since she’s the only one she’s opened up to about the whole dilemma, “I think it’s better if I don’t come. After all, it’s a friend trip. I’m not really his friend.” To which her roommate only replied with bullshit, proceeding to type away on her keyboard. That did not help whatsoever.

Then, the night she was too tipsy to take a taxi back home and Jeongguk had offered her a ride on his bike, she came home with a smile on her face only to burst out crying in front of a just as drunk Dahye. In between sobs, she begged to be left out of the trip, “Ple- Please, Dahye. He hates me. I can’t stand it.” Her friend tried to shush her whines, pushing Eunbi’s head on her chest and consoling her, “He doesn’t, baby. I’m sure he doesn’t.”

As a result of that night, Dahye had then sat her friend down with the intent of fully convincing her to be present for Jeongguk’s birthday trip for a number of reasons, “It would be rude to not show up after he was there for your birthday. And also, what if you two end up talking about… things! And everything gets solved! That would be nice, wouldn’t it, Bibi?”

Eunbi had just nodded all the way through the motivating speech, not really understanding nor believing her words, but apparently they were enough to lead her to the present moment: awkwardly squished between Dahye and Jimin on the couch of her flat, while they animatedly converse with the others to approve on the trip schedule. She has never felt so out of place before, not only because she doesn’t feel like she has a say in the whole discussion, but also because as time went by the two friends by her side kept shifting to subtly get closer to one another, not realising they were compressing her body in the process. To the point she is forced to get up, the position she was in being too uncomfortable, and sit on the ground under the couch next to Namjoon.

She can feel her movements being followed by a pair of curious eyes, and when she looks up to meet them, she finds out they belong to the origin of all her worries. Before Jeongguk can divert his attention elsewhere, aware he was caught observing, she gives him a quick tight lipped smile. It goes dismissed, as if it hadn’t happened. Ouch. It’s okay, Eunbi can take it. She used the few days prior to this to mentally prepare. She knows she’s not exactly welcomed anywhere near him, that’s why she made a silent secret pact within herself: whatever happens during the trip, don’t be a bother to Jeongguk. Stay away from him as much as possible, and if not possible, then do anything to avoid putting that frown on his face, exactly the one he’s sporting right now. On a second thought, if just looking at her gets him to react like that, maybe it’s best to mentally wipe that off her list of things to keep in mind for Jeongguk’s birthday camping trip.

With there still being a day left before their minibreak takes off, the girl can already tell it’s going to be hard to follow the flow of that list, Jeongguk making it obvious her presence could have been avoided before the vacation has even started. Still, she remains composed and brushes off what had just happened, instead focusing on the main topic of conversation.

The group (Hoseok) has decided to meet to go over the schedule one last time because, “Everything needs to be perfect, guys. We can’t afford to slip!” It’s still Hoseok talking. Eunbi learned that he had always been the one in charge of organising events and little getaways when it came to the friend group, his obsession with keeping everything under control coming in handy in such scenarios.

Not only that, but the reddish haired guy is also amazingly quick on his feet, and in a relatively short amount of time he has managed to find the perfect excursions and experiences to go over during the trip, making sure every day spent together would be filled with fun activities that he knows the birthday boy is going to look forward to. In between what he has arranged there is cycling, canoeing, trekking, and more stuff that Eunbi can’t keep up with. Surviving this is going to be made ten times harder by the amount of energy that is going to be expected out of her. She sighs at the thought, looking down at her manicured nails. She just got them done, and now they would surely break.

It takes a few seconds for her to realise the sudden silence that fell above the room, and when she looks back up she’s met with eleven pairs of eyes staring at her. She straightens her posture, suddenly too aware of being perceived, and she deduces her previous exhale had been released with more energy than intended. Hoseok sweetly smiles at her, “Anything you don’t agree on, Eunbi?”

The panicked girl opens her mouth to justify herself, her eyes getting wider and shinier with embarrassment, but Dahye beats her to it, “Bibi, didn’t you say you, like, hate cycling? I’m sure we had a whole conversation about it.“

Eunbi is mortified. Her eyes jump from Dahye to Jeongguk, trying to get her best friend to shut up while also registering the boy’s scoff and muted roll of his eyes. Oh god. Her whole be-lowkey-and-make-yourself-unnoticed plan just shattered in a matter of seconds. She can feel Jeongguk’s eyes bore flaming holes into her skull, his arms crossed and his legs furtherly stretching out on the armchair. If she still had a small, tiny hope left that he didn’t fully hate her, she just witnessed that shattering in pieces too.

She quickly shifts to sit on her heels, her hands frantically shaking to try and save her face for what she could, “No, what? I love cycling. Seriously, I’d do it everyday if I could.” She chuckles shakily while subtly shoving Dahye’s knee next to her to signal going with the lie. At first, Dahye looks clearly confused: she was so sure of that information about her roommate. She furrows her brows, looking down at a panicky Eunbi widening her eyes. It takes only a few more seconds for her to suddenly get it, shaking herself from her doubts and catching the ball, “Oh, right! You do! I got it confused with, huh… something else.” The girl mutters that last part only to join her friend in a nervous laugh, and an apologetic smile. Best believe Dahye is going to hear about this later.

Hoseok looks just as puzzled as the others, but nonetheless he nods, announcing the schedule has been officially confirmed. A collective acclaim fills the room, only for the boy to stop it with a raise of his pointer finger, “Now, I will assign you guys in your respective cars.” Which is comically followed by a joint groan, and some protests. Hoseok ignores them, and goes on reading off his perfectly planned out Word document.

”Namjoon is the first driver, and he’s travelling with Iseul, Seokjin and Sora,” he looks up to briefly check with the mentioned members to see if there are any complaints, then proceeds. “We’ve got Yoongi with me, Aera and Taehyung. Then…” Hoseok squints his eyes while scrolling down the document, and those few seconds of silence are enough for Eunbi’s thoughts to anticipate what is about to follow. She lowers her head, unwilling to meet Jeongguk’s glare when Hoseok says, “Jeongguk is driving with Jimin, Dahye and Eunbi. All set?”

The positive response is quick, even too rushed and disregardful of what was said, as Namjoon and Taehyung have been impatiently begging for the never-ending organising to be over so they could order food and finally fill their starved stomachs. No one pays any mind to it, but Eunbi and Jeongguk stay quiet, while Jimin and Dahye share a knowing look. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.

The evening is spent in the cramped living room of Eunbi and Dahye’s shared flat, eating pizza and letting a random movie play, which soon only functioned as a background noise the moment Taehyung started a game of Would You Rather. Even if Yoongi initially shushed him, everyone eventually became more delighted with Seokjin’s unthinkable suggestions than with the film, “Would you rather be trapped in a small room with 10,000 tarantulas for 10 minutes, or eat 10 tarantulas in 10 minutes?”

Eunbi tries to let herself be distracted by the content smiles on her friends’ faces, even feels less distressed when she notices Jeongguk relaxing as well, but that doesn’t stop her mind from overflowing with all the things that could potentially go wrong. It inevitably shows on her face, and in her unusual quietness. She has been pondering on the last information Hoseok had shared about the confirmed schedule for hours now, worrying it was going to start the trip on the wrong foot. There were all the best intentions to not poke the sleeping bear, but she fears being in the same car as him is going to stir him awake.

After the group leaves the apartment at past 1 a.m., Hoseok checking with everyone that they’ll show up at 8 sharp tomorrow morning in front of the same building they’re now parting ways from, Eunbi releases a long sigh as she closes the door behind her shoulders. Dahye catches the look on her features immediately, taking her pretty face in between her palms, “I’m sorry for earlier. I was trying to help.” She pouts, and it makes the shorter girl chuckle.

Eunbi shakes her head, dismissing her apology with a small it’s okay, and freeing herself from her friend’s hold so as to avoid meeting her eyes, instead busying herself with tidying up the mess in the living room. Her flatmate looks at the strangely silent girl narrowly, “What are you thinking? Please, don’t let it be something stupid like I don’t wanna drive in Jeongguk’s car.”

When all Dahye is met with is silence, she knows that specific something stupid is flowing in the other girl’s head. Eunbi spends the next hour packing and letting Dahye think she’s wholly convincing her distressed roommate nothing could go wrong from just being close to each other, and if anything, it could be a starting point.

For the sake of getting at least three hours of sleep before the long drive ahead, Eunbi fake promises her friend that she won’t let such thoughts haunt her mind and stop her from enjoying the holiday (she was forced to repeat those exact words) knowing she’s going to let them do precisely that. She also ends up staying awake all night either way, trying to come up with a reasonable excuse that she can use to ask Hoseok if a small change would be possible, hoping it wouldn’t be too much of a hassle to him and his perfect plan.

When the following morning rolls around, the group gathers in the courtyard of the flat complex as instructed hours earlier by Hoseok, who looks like he’s on the verge of a serious crisis when it’s one minute past 8 a.m. and Taehyung still hasn’t shown up. Eunbi fears for her life when she taps his shoulder as delicately as she can, still unable to avoid a jumpy reaction from the boy, who then relaxes when he sees the girl’s sweet smile. That lasts for about one second, because when Eunbi softly asks him if they can talk he’s back to puffing out panicky breaths.

She hesitates a moment before uttering in one single exhale, “I’d rather not go in Jeongguk’s car.” Faced with Hoseok’s perplexed stare, she goes on explaining in a rushed, messy speech, “It’s nothing personal, really. It’s just- Iseul! Yeah, Iseul begged me to be in the car with Dahye… She doesn’t know Sora that well so she said it would be way too awkward. I can go with Namjoon!” She ends it by trying to sport a convincing grin on her lips, but with the way it looks like she’s being held at gunpoint to smile it’s doing the exact opposite, not helping in hiding her own panic at all.

Hoseok takes a few seconds to process her request and read her expression, but in the end he just shrugs and nods enthusiastically, “That’s okay!” He then claps his hands twice, recalling the others’ attention who comically snap their heads in unison, hanging on the boss’ lips, “Tiny change. Eunbi doesn’t wanna be in Jeongguk’s car, so she’s going with Namjoon.”

For the second time in under 24 hours, Eunbi is so embarrassed she prays the ground to swallow her whole. Hoseok doesn’t seem to be making a big deal out of the way he worded his announcement, busy typing away on his phone, probably updating his Word document with the recent change. The others don’t look too fazed either, accustomed with the two infamously not being too fond of each other for no apparent reason, except for Dahye and Jimin: the former is looking at the girl incredulously; the latter has shifted his attention to his best friend.

Eunbi can feel cold sweat dripping down her forehead, the weight of the world crushing on her shoulders. She’s afraid to follow Jimin’s line of vision, but as she slowly does, it leads her to meet Jeongguk’s intense gaze, a slight pissed scowl hardening his features along with his brows almost meeting at the bridge of his nose. His all black attire composed of an oversized t-shirt, cargo bermuda shorts and chunky sandals matches perfectly with the look on his face. He seems confused, and unnerved. And sad? This is not how things were supposed to unfold.

Under such pressure, the girl impulsively releases a nervous laugh, her whole face red with awkwardness, “It’s not like I didn’t- Okay! I’ll just go wait in the car.” Her head hangs as she distances herself from the group, finding an escape from Jeongguk’s disappointment in Namjoon’s car. She bangs her head on the dashboard a few times, making the most of the last minutes alone she’s getting before departure.

Starring in that shitshow was not on her list of things to keep in mind for Jeongguk’s birthday camping trip in any way. On the contrary, what she has been trying to do is going by the rules of the list itself: stay away from Jeongguk and don’t be a bother. Instead, the opposite seems to be happening every time she attempts to be nice to him so as to not be a hassle during the trip. Releasing a shaky breath, she hopes her intentions wouldn’t be misinterpreted by the boy, as she tries foolishly convincing herself the telepathy between them still exists, at least to a small extent. She was only doing this for him. To make it easier for him. Please, please send this telepathic message to Jeongguk.

Connection probably isn’t working too well, because when they all get to the destination after a fairly long ride, Jeongguk still looks pissed, shutting the car door with more energy than required and unloading the luggages, taking his and Iseul’s to the entrance of the camping site. Eunbi narrows her eyes as she observes the scene, the short haired girl thanking the previously annoyed boy and effortlessly putting a smile on his lips, and she almost doesn’t notice Namjoon urging her to move. She abruptly shakes herself out of that trance, relaxing her hands that had subconsciously closed into fists, and takes her bags out of the car. As she clumsily drags them on both of her shoulders, her Converses do little to protect her soles from the rocky ground, and she groans. It’s not like she was expecting Namjoon to carry her baggage, she can do it herself. But as she keeps watching Jeongguk easily handling all that weight, she huffs.

The campsite looks amazing. The space that the group has at their disposal is huge and wholly surrounded by nature, making it the perfect getaway from the chaos of the city. Not too far, in between trees, a glimpse of the sun reflecting its rays in a large lake can be caught. Eunbi witnesses an excellently carried out jam session, with the lively enthusiasm of her friends on microphone, birds on percussion and cicadas on bass. She smiles, and sighs contentedly. Dahye’s words from last night echo in her head, don’t let this stop you from enjoying the holiday, and today she wants to believe them. She’s glad she chose to wear jeans shorts instead of cargos, the heat slowly but surely rising, and a flowy white top that keeps her fresh, for now.

Hoseok instructs them to get to work, and they do. All their bags are gathered under a big ancient tree as each couple and trio starts (tries) setting their tents. While they’re busy figuring out how to ensure the tent won’t fly away, which Taehyung fears particularly, Jimin and Jeongguk offer themselves to go and fill everyone’s water flask at a nearby drinking fountain they had found. Eunbi kneels down to fish hers out of a blue backpack and goes to hand it out to Jeongguk, who’s collecting Dahye’s bottle. The boy smiles at her friend, but it gets wiped off when he shifts his gaze on Eunbi’s shorter figure. The moment is brief, and awkward: her big unsure eyes stare into his hardened ones, arm extended out to him, wondering if there might be something funny on her face for him to turn so serious; she hesitantly lifts her brows, waiting for something; Jeongguk looks her up and down, only to not acknowledge her water flask, and just walks past her.

Eunbi is dumbfounded, the tip of her ears reddening as she remains paralysed with her hand out, even after Jimin collects her flask, muttering something close to Don’t mind him, please accompanied by an apologetic smile. She regains consciousness of her surroundings only when, beside her, Dahye can’t help the snort coming out of her mouth, trying but failing to save it with her hand. The still shocked girl slowly turns to face her amused friend, mouth slightly agape and left eye clearly twitching, “Did he just… act as if I don’t exist.”

The situation shouldn’t be funny, but to Dahye it’s the peak of comedy as she keeps giggling the more the slow realisation of what has just happened shows on Eunbi’s features. Obviously, the latter can’t find one single reason to laugh about it, whining while the taller girl pats her shoulder, still smiling, “You really need to talk to him.”

The targeted girl ignores that, biting her nails nervously, ”Was he saying anything about… me, in the car?”

Dahye lifts her brows, shaking her head, ”Nothing. He’s probably talking shit about you with Jimin, though.” Eunbi follows her pointed finger and catches Jeongguk animatedly discussing with his flatmate, balancing the bottles in his arms, before they turn a corner. Eunbi fusses, lightly tugging on her braided pigtails, and she feels helpless as even the friend who’s supposed to be supporting her through all of this is chuckling at her. Despite being shorter, when Eunbi shoves Dahye’s shoulder she manages to make her stumble, but that doesn’t stop her laughs, though.

”You’re building the tent on your own.” Arms crossed and pout on, Eunbi isn’t joking as she goes to sit under the tree surrounded by bags and ignores her name being called out. Rather than reacting to it, she spots tiny bugs between the grass and inspects them for a while, pretending it keeps her distracted from what’s plaguing her mind. Soon after, with her knees to her chest, watching those ants working to transfer food from one side to the other inevitably gets her lost in her thoughts. What is she doing wrong? There’s clearly unresolved problems between her and the boy who brutally ignored her existence minutes ago, but she thought maybe if she started seeking for truce, then he would too. His response, instead, makes her realise no matter how much she tries, it’s apparently not enough to mend what happened all those years ago. She messed up worse than imagined.

The constant pondering makes her lose track of time, and she comes back to reality with undesired outcomes that she convinces herself to be true. When she recovers from the (as she has deduced, deserved) humiliation, Dahye has already set up half of the tent and Eunbi walks over to her bashfully, “Sorry for being childish. I’ll finish this, Hye.” The girl just smiles softly and nods, sending her a flying kiss that makes Eunbi chuckle before taking her previous spot under the tree. At least Dahye doesn’t hate her.

It takes her a while to figure out what to do but she soon grasps how hard a seemingly simple task can be, feeling bad for letting Dahye do a great part of it on her own. Still, she needs to work fast as lunch time is approaching, and everybody around her is almost finished. She has been crouching on a particular spot on the ground for a while now, trying to properly secure an angle of the tent unsuccessfully. Until she groans exasperated, puffing her hair out of her vision and lifting her body up to find a solution. She tries stomping on it a few times, but it doesn’t work, and if anything it worsens the situation. Huffing out, with her hands on her hips she looks around for help, and the first person her eyes fall on is Jeongguk.

He was already staring at her, comfortably sitting on a deckchair with his legs spread and sunglasses on. His tent looks perfectly set already, with Jimin seemingly fixing the inside of it. His hand is covering his mouth before he uses it to lift his glasses over his head, and is that a smirk? They both stare at each other in silence, Eunbi still struggling to breathe, and she hesitates slightly until her eagerness to be over with the tent becomes stronger. She speaks up to make herself heard over the small distance, “Can you- help me?”

Jeongguk narrows her eyes at her, initially not answering but not even moving from his relaxed position. The girl is ready to be met with silence again, but it’s something worse when he opens his mouth, “I think Namjoon would be happy to do that.” He’s as stern as ever as he returns the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose, furtherly spreading his whole body on the chair and facing the sun. Only then, he releases a content sigh, smiling slightly.

All of this cannot be real. What does that even mean? Eunbi can feel her eye start to twitch again and she needs to clench her jaw to stop it. It’s okay. Breathe. She unexpectedly but successfully manages to hold herself from exploding on him, both overwhelmed with tent building and frustrated with his behaviour. She can’t really decipher what led him to not only act cold, as he usually is with her, which is fine, but also mean! But no problem, she’ll try once again. It costs nothing to be nice. And she tells herself she’ll stay that way, even if she’s met with the opposite, until he breaks.

The storm of negative emotions tormenting her thoughts can be distortedly seen as a good thing on one side, if she considers that the sudden adrenaline flowing in her body gets her through most of the task without any help, even mindlessly, while she keeps reflecting on the interaction and the previous ones. Why the fuck would Namjoon be happy to help her? Well, he would, he’s naturally a helper, but why did Jeongguk say that? Is he really that pissed about her going in his car? She tries to understand, she really does. Keep being nice is what she tells herself instead.

When the tent is finally up, only with Dahye’s finishing touches, and food is finally in her stomach, refilling her energy tank, it’s like there’s a switch going off in her head, making it seem as if nothing bad has ever happened. Eunbi is back to her talkative self with a full tummy and a bashful grin while her best friend teases her for the earlier tantrum she went on about, but at least it’s all smiles again.

The first day at the campsite is spent basking in the slowness that follows after ticking off the only two activities planned for today on Hoseok’s schedule: setting their tents and preparing meals for lunch and dinner. The boss then instructs the group on just getting acquainted with their surroundings, and they don’t need to be told twice, making the most out of those short remaining moments of ease.

The rest of those hours are used to laze by the huge lake, in between swims and sunbathes. Luckily, Eunbi had packed a few bikinis and she chose to wear a black set, its laces meeting at the back with a bow. Sitting back and taking it easy, before all that she will be faced with the next few days, gives her a chance to get closer to the others. During the earlier drive, she had the opportunity to chat with Sora and discover the sweetheart she truly is, and the car was then easily filled with laughter, mostly provided by Namjoon and Seokjin’s terrible jokes. She now sits by Sora on a beach towel, all the other girls in a circle catching up and laying by the sun. In the back of their gossip session, the boys could be heard laughing and squealing, and the sound reminded Eunbi of sweet childhood. She briefly shifts her attention to them and smiles when she observes how they’re doing the most to tire their energy out, from using a rope hanging by the branch of a tree to leap into the water, to initiating a volleyball match using one of their rolled up towels.

Eunbi grows even fonder than before of the people she’s surrounded with, the earlier stress leaving her body and being replaced by serenity, a small sigh released from her lips before she returns to listen to the girls’ chat. She laughs at something Dahye says and jumps on it excitedly, making the others chuckle at the two friends eagerly recounting one of their craziest uni experiences so far.

All of it is short lived when Taehyung and Jimin suddenly drop a water balloon over their heads, a collective gasp filling the space followed by the two boys’ childish giggles and Dahye’s screams, getting up to run after them. They all spend the rest of the afternoon trying to get back at each other with more pranks, bathing in the lake’s cold water and taking silly group pictures to seal the day. As the sun begins to set, they all sit on their towels and silently observe nature, definitely too tired to speak, and preferring to savour the sweet moment.

When the sun finally leaves its place for the moon to rise and the group of friends gets back to their tents, their stomachs growling signal it’s time for dinner. They take turns to shower using the nearby public structure and then help setting a campfire to cook. It also works as a very needed source of heat, given the temperature has significantly dropped and their bodies are still humid from washing up. Eunbi wears the grey cargos she had discarded earlier this morning when deciding on what to put on, and a white tee, her damp hair falling on her shoulders and making her feel slightly chilly. She comes up beside Yoongi to help him with the meat, benefiting from the warmth of the fire.

There’s not much talk between the two, only the older boy advising her to be careful of the flames every two minutes, but it’s comfortable. Eunbi still has a hard time reading through Yoongi, and maybe it’s what she enjoys the most about him: his aura is soothing and it exudes security. He doesn’t exactly show it, but he’s deeply attentive and caring of his friends, and the girl feels safe next to him. She can sense him looking over at her while the meat is cooking, and as she turns to him she meets his eyes with a smile. He ponders, scanning her face “You got sunburnt. You need to wear sunscreen tomorrow, or it’ll get worse.”

Eunbi chuckles, dragging her pointer finger up and down her red nose, “Yeah, I know. It kinda hurts but it looks like I have natural blush now!”

Yoongi shakes his head with a small amused scoff, “That’s stupid, Eunbi. Wait for me here, I’ll go get you an after-sun cream.” And even as he walks off, he reminds her to not stay too close to the fire. She thinks that’s an exact demonstration of what the boy is truly like in her head.

The girl keeps grilling the meat, humming unknown melodies under her breath, and she almost misses a broad figure sitting on one of the chairs surrounding the fire. When she looks up, it’s Jeongguk avoiding her eyes and instead staring at the flames, their light reflecting in his big orbs and making them shinier. He wears his bermudas from earlier, but he now has a grey Stussy hoodie on top of it. His locks are still wet after freshly coming out of a shower, and they curl on his forehead, making him look like a poodle. She smiles. It’s like 15 years old Jeongguk is there with her again, his bare, exhausted face and droopy eyes taking her back to Busan. Without even realising what she’s doing, she extends a cooked piece of meat his way, “You want some?”

Startled, the boy breaks from his spacing-out and registers the request. He looks between Eunbi and the meat, gulping. He licks his lips, and she swears she can also hear his stomach rumbling. When he keeps ogling the food without replying, she wiggles the fork and his eyes follow its every movement, as if hypnotised. Then, he suddenly screws his eyelids shut and breaks from the trance, simply shaking his head no and fishing his phone out of his pocket, mindlessly scrolling on it. Just like that, she’s back to the present, and Jeongguk hates her. Eunbi narrowly glares at him while he can’t see her.

Yoongi comes back soon after with two different creams in his hands, and he gives them to Eunbi with a chuckle. She thanks him and lets him take over the cooking, while she curiously inspects the products, still standing next to the fire. When Yoongi spots his younger friend on the chair, he asks the same exact question as her, forking a piece of meat, “You want some?”

Jeongguk’s attention is back up, this time on Yoongi, and when he sees what his hyung is referring to he eagerly nods. Eunbi interrupts her examination just in time to see the boy hungrily shoving the food in his mouth, brows furrowed and praising noises accompanying his munching, making the older friend by her side chuckle. Instead, the girl is once again in disbelief, even more as he watches Jeongguk patting his knee with force, satisfied with the bite, “Hyung, this shit is so good. I want more.”

Eunbi scoffs imperceptibly, leaving the scene with an annoyed scowl wrecking her pretty features. As she enters her tent, she’s glad Dahye is still showering as she makes the most of that isolating moment. She sighs wearily and whips out her phone. Using its camera, she tries to ignore her tumbling emotions and instead puts on the creams Yoongi had given her, but not even those are enough to distract her. She’s still incredulous at what she’s being put through, her patience wearing thin, and the pact she made with herself before coming here is dangerously close to being broken.

Dinner is spent with good food and even better people, and only then Eunbi visibly untenses again. In between bites and full mouths, they go from discussing random facts to casually engaging in games of Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever, the beer bottles slowly being emptied while their tummies get filled. When they’re done eating, the relaxed smiles on their faces implicitly communicate how the meal has been the perfect ending to the lovely day spent together. Still, they stay by the fire and keep up an effortless chat. When one of them comments on the limpidity of the sky, its stars being perfectly visible in this zone of Seoul, they all look up and stare in silence at the fullness of the lights.

Even if it’s not too late, the weariness from being out in the sun for multiple consecutive hours is weightening down on most of them, Seokjin and Sora retiring to their tents, soon after being followed by Yoongi and Hoseok.

It’s a little past midnight, and Eunbi starts to feel more and more affected by the cool breeze, its effects showing on her prickled skin. She tries to warm herself up by rubbing her exposed arms with her hands, but it’s to no avail, “God, I’m so cold.”

A collective agreement follows her claim, with Iseul speaking up and curling herself into a ball on the deckchair she’s sitting on by taking her legs up to her chest and hugging them close, “Me too, it’s freezing.”

”Oh, I have a spare hoodie.” Both girls snap their heads at the voice, which belongs to Jeongguk. However, as he quickly gets up to retrieve the sweater from his tent, it’s not clear who between the two he’s referring to, their curious expectant eyes following his every movement. Eunbi has her reasons to feel so eager, given the fact that she has been begging for one nice interaction with the boy, a spark of hope lighting up in her chest at his offer. On the other hand, she doesn’t know why the other girl seems equally excited, twirling her short hair around her fingers as she waits for Jeongguk to come out of the tent again. She huffs, a pout ending on her features.

When the sought-after boy gets back with a blueish crewneck in his arms, both girls hold their breaths, the sudden tension going unnoticed by the others (except for Dahye, she’s like a psychic when it comes to her best friend’s emotions), until Jeongguk lays the piece of clothing on Iseul’s shoulders, coming behind her and then sitting on his chair again.

Iseul bashfully thanks him, the tips of her ears seemingly reddening while a sweet, alluring smile makes its way on her lips. Eunbi scoffs at that, and if looks could kill Iseul would be dead right now. The dirty look she sends her way luckily goes unnoticed, and she keeps hugging her own body trying to provide herself with warmth. When she shifts her attention to Jeongguk, he’s already looking at her, smirking. She can’t be convinced he isn’t doing all this on purpose.

Even with her teeth almost chattering, the neglected girl forces herself to stay with the others until the end, and with Namjoon and Taehyung retiring to sleep only six of them remain. Under a white full moon, the conversation doesn’t really follow a clear direction, steering from existential questions that none really have the answers to, to Jimin’s drunken adventures. Jeongguk giddily joins the recounting and adds many details to it, specifically highlighting the embarrassing parts that his roommate is trying to omit to save face, and making all of his friends laugh with their whole chest, Eunbi included. She simply can’t ignore the fact that he’s naturally charming, and hilarious as well. In the middle of his storytelling, his whole body gets involved and it makes the events seem even more impressive. Eunbi smiles when she compares the Jeongguk in front of her to the beloved one in her past, the one that would sit her down and force her to keep up with his running imagination, constantly up with new ideas for silly scripts.

Then it’s Dahye’s turn to share one of her experiences, and Eunbi inevitably gets thrown into the tale, which had seen the two friends drunkenly sneaking themselves into a concert. It’s like they’re perfectly mirroring Jimin and Jeongguk’s dynamic, because while Dahye is trying to leave out critical parts of the story, Eunbi strongly insists on specifying them with an unseen emphasis for 1 a.m., causing everybody to laugh along. In between chuckles, her eyes fall on Jeongguk, who is mindlessly scrolling on his phone and seemingly not paying attention. Throughout the recounting, she notices Jeongguk distractly listening but never laughing, and if he does it’s only after something said by Dahye. Slowly, the enthusiasm gets wiped off her face as she curls up on the chair, sulkily letting her friend finish telling the story.

Another hour of effortless conversation goes by, and Jeongguk is back to lively chatting again, his animated gestures and witty jokes getting laughter out of his friends, but this time Eunbi doesn’t join. She silently sets on observing the boy, despite being caught a few times. She really wants to understand the reason behind his behaviour, but there’s no factual explanation she can come up with other than the obvious reasons that put them in this situation in the first place. If that’s the case, there’s nothing much she can do other than going up to him and finally talking it out like the mature adults they should be, but with their petty, silent bickering she doesn’t think that’s happening any soon.

While she’s busy squinting her eyes at the boy, in a borderline creepy manner, she doesn’t notice Iseul crouching in half in laughter at something Jeongguk said, until she’s directly referring to her, “Oh god, Eunbi! Why did you never tell me Jeongguk was this funny?” Said girl is startled by the question and by the abrupt interruption that shakes her out of her trance, confusion written on her face and it must be evident with the way Iseul goes on explaining, “Dahye told me you’ve known him for a long time.”

All at once, the atmosphere is tense and maybe Iseul and Aera can’t feel it, but Dahye definitely can as she snaps her head to her friend, who’s staring directly into Jeongguk’s eyes. The two seem to be battling an unnamed war through eye contact, and the intensity of the boy’s gaze ignites something implacable in the girl’s chest, dangerously close to rage, and it has to do with all the feelings she’s had to bottle up in less than 24 hours. She scoffs, referring to Iseul but never breaking the staring contest with the boy, “Oh, is he? Don’t think I’m well acquainted with that side of him yet.”

If the tension wasn’t palpable to everyone before the comment, it surely is now, the only ones that have something left to say being the crickets and owls in the background. Jeongguk only snickers before washing a hand over his face, an unsettling smirk on his lips. He seems to finally acknowledge the other girl’s presence, but it’s not in the way Eunbi initially imagined it would go. Instead, it’s venom spitting out of his mouth, “You would've been if you weren’t so self centred, always wrapped in your own bubble all the fucking time.”

Eunbi's confidence falls as quick as her heart, a sudden force weighing on it and almost crushing it. She’s fast at hiding it, ignoring the slight sting she can sense in the back of her eyelids, her only goal is to shoot harder. She forces the fakest smile she can muster, “Self centred? Are you sure you're talking about me?” The affronted girl scoffs, loud and sarcastic, “Fuck, and I thought you'd know better than that, Jeongguk. You should try getting your head out of your ass and look around. Maybe you'd see how shitty you've been treating all of us-” me “-for these past weeks.”

Jeongguk is visibly taken aback, and it’s his heart falling this time, his face following suit. His broken features do little to hide the doubts plaguing his spiralling mind. Had he pushed it too far? Had he been actually so bad to his own friends? Seeing his contender’s face relaxing with victory makes him snap out of the sudden trance, as he regains consciousness fast. No, he hasn’t. Fuck this. Blinded by anger, he utters the unimaginable, “Speak for yourself when you say shit like that. As far as I'm concerned, I've been treating you fairly seeing the bitch you are.”

His eyes are as pitch as black, the stars in them that Eunbi would love to get lost into are unreachable now, almost as if a dark cloud had obscured them. It must be the pollution that's taking over his heart too.

She’s frozen in place as the cruel words echo in her mind, the force that was keeping her heart underwater had managed to crush it, and it was now coming up her throat, squeezing the air out of her lungs. Her ears ring with the sudden lack of oxygen, and she can only faintly hear Dahye’s raging comments coming in her defence against Jeongguk. She can only seem to focus on the cracking of the fire, though, its thumping noise suddenly unbearable, as she feels more and more engulfed in its flames. She forces all sounds to come back to her, strongly pulling herself out of her own plagued head, the boy in front of her now unrecognisable to her empty eyes.

Looking around, she notices all of her friends — his, after all — had gone extremely quiet, the pressure weighing on them too. She can't stand it, needs to get out. She wishes she had never agreed to this. So much for keeping her peace. Yet, she'll never give him the satisfaction of knowing how much that hurt her. She'll die before crying in front of him.

“Well, if you don't mind, the bitch has had enough now, so with all due respect, she's going to sleep.” With a forced tight lipped smile, she gets up in one fast movement and walks to her tent, leaving the others disoriented, and a still furious Dahye scoffing at Jeongguk. He follows her with his eyes until she disappears in her shelter, clenching his jaw and announcing his departure soon after.

Inside the tent, Eunbi takes several deep breaths trying to calm down, and she feels frail when she can sense her eyes prickle with tears. She tells herself it’s angry ones. Apparently, being nice isn’t enough, and she watches as the seal to her pact shatters with force, signalling no come back. Following suit, the puzzle breaks once again, and she’s left scrambling for the pieces falling, looking for the one that will start it over again. And this time, it’s going to be even harder.

[alphabetboyluvr]

something borrowed | jjk

VIBES | first loves, a lil angst, a lil... infidelity (don't scream at me!!), no smut (a little teeny lips to kitty moment but no actual smut) jungkook's nose be doing things (smelling <3) cause when is it not?, mafia au

SOUNDTRACK | moth to a flame - swedish house mafia, the weekend ; mirage - elina

HOLLY'S NOTE | (originally posted april 2023) was in a tiktok hell hole of moth to a flame edits, and this is the product of it loool. posted on wp first!!

WORD COUNT |  2.8k

GLOSSARY OF TERMS | all relating to korean gangs 

Gyeongsang - the ancient name for what is now known as the Yeongnam district of Korea. It includes Daegu, Busan, Ulsan, and both Gyeongsang Provinces. It's essentially the South-East of the country.

Honam - the district of Korea which includes Gwangju and both Jeolla provinces. Essentially, it's Yeongnam's counterpart - the South-West of the country.

Pa - the term for a 'mob' in Korean, often affixed to regions or identifiers of specific gangs

Jopok - a term for someone involved in a gang 

THEY SAY you never forget your first love; that it's some sort of earth-shattering, universe-bending, life-debilitating experience. You learn from it; how to behave, how to act, how to break a heart, and - sometimes - how to heal one, too.

They're a funny thing, first loves.

Virginities are given and taken in all aspects of life; sex, declarations of affection, scathing remarks in the midst of arguments.

Jeon Jungkook has all of your firsts, and you all of his.

It had been a too-hot summer, and you'd been rebelling.

Fresh-faced, and terribly bored of the confines put in place by your father, Jungkook had seemed like a safe bet. 

Jungkook had always been a rebel. You made no change to that.

You'd gone to Busan looking for trouble. Like father, like daughter. He usually went there to fuck with Gyeongsang-pa goonies who didn't know their left from their right; to remind them that what Honam-pa may lack in their underground history, they made up for in their sheer moxie.

You'd gone there to fuck with Gyeongsang-pa goonies, too, just in the literal sense. You were on the cusp of nineteen, and still being held prisoner to Honam-pa hierarchy, or so it felt.

An easy target was found in the form of a boy skimming rocks against a settled bay. Leather jacket and a face of thunder, Jeon Jungkook had wanted nothing to do with you. Heard the tone of your dialect and knew you were one of them.

"Ain't no place for Honam bitches," he'd told you. Had made you laugh.

"And who are you?" You'd replied, voice condescending, eyes innocent. "Too scrawny to be Jopok."

He had smirked. Shook his head. "Yeah, and you're too vapid to be asking questions like that in a city that ain't yours." The pebble he sent hurtling into the ocean skipped once, twice, three times before sinking. He turned to look at you. Sighed. Figured you were at least a little bit more interesting than pebbles. "What's your name, Honam?"

As you stand in front of a mirror, seven years since that summer, you know Jeon Jungkook will be getting all of your lasts, too.

You're smoothing down a dress; white, lace, and everything a girl dreams of.

Well, everything a girl who wants a traditional wedding with all the bells and whistles wants.

You've always considered yourself an elopement kind of girlie; last-minute charity shop dress for you, and second-hand tie for your groom, in a city worlds away from 'home'. That's what you would have liked.

But you're Honam's Princess. 

This was always gonna be the way.

You'd never expected yourself to have a Gyeongsang-pa groom, but sometimes life works out in funny ways.

"It's bad luck," you say quietly as Jungkook approaches the doorway. It's a little before noon. Nuptials are at two. You've sent away your ladies in waiting, favouring these final moments alone.

"To see the bride?" he questions. He's not even started getting ready yet. Still in a pair of sweats and an old shirt that you remember from that very first summer. You wonder if he's wearing it deliberately now; if it makes him feel like he's young again.

He'd been so fresh-faced back then. His broad back hadn't yet been tarnished by a dragon, and his eyes had seen far less violence. His hands, too.

You nod. "Remember? I told you. You shouldn't see the bride on the morning of the ceremony."

Jungkook just shrugs. Pushes the door to, and walks further into the room to stand behind you. It's warm, but his presence gives you chills. It shouldn't do. Not when you know him as intimately as you do.

His fingers reach up to toy at the vintage clasp of your necklace. He asks, "Something old?"

You're silent as you study him in the mirror. He's not aged a day. Not really. Not in his eyes. The scar on his cheek looks a little deeper from his face filling out, and he wears his hair differently - he doesn't subscribe to the Gyeongsang-pa standard of short sides, long top anymore - but his eyes are just the same.

"Something old," you nod.

He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, and lets the very tips of his fingers trail down your spine, until they reach the fabric of your dress.

"Your Grandmothers," he says. "I remember it."

You don't hide your surprise.

"What?" he smirks, when he notices the tiny little hum of confusion you do. "Was that first summer. You left it in my car once. Was karma for you chatting shit about your sister inheriting the opal ring."

"It was too small for her fingers!" you immediately protest, still standing by the fact it would have been cherished by you - though you do have an opal ring, now. 

It normally sits snug on your fourth finger, awaiting a dainty silver band to keep it company, but it's off today. Symbolic. Your wedding band is to be threaded on first, held in place by your opal forevermore.

"The necklace suits you," he offers. 

Thinks it really does; a small silver chain, links twisted with a single teardrop pearl resting on your chest. It goes back generations. Is a status symbol. Losing it in Jungkook's car had left you terrified for you both, no matter who would have found it - Gyeongsang-pa goonies or Honam-Pa. Would have been fucked either way. Fraternizing with the enemy was one thing - but fucking them?

Your father would have had Jungkook's head on a butcher's block within an hour of finding out.

Funny, how things change.

He strides over to the dresser, where a white shoe box sits open. Tissue paper sprouts from the packaging, and nestled inside are a pair of heels that he thinks are befitting of you. They're white, to match your dress, with ornate silver leaves trailing up and around the heels. You'll be a good few inches taller with them on, but he'd still dwarf you if he were to stand across from you.

A little taller than he was that very first summer, Jungkook is far more confident, too. Not in a brash, false bravado kind of way, but in such a way that he's learned his worth. Knows where he is in the pecking order. Works so much harder than you ever will, and yet will never be of equal status. Not in Honam Pa, not in Gyeongsang-Pa.

He sits on the chair beside the mirror and holds a shoe in each palm. His legs are spread, smile arrogant, as he taps the shoes together.

"Something new?"

"Careful," you say, not looking at him, tweaking a little bit of your hair back. "Yes. Something new."

He raises one of shoes, and nods to where the skirt of your dress pools on the floor. "May I?"

"Shouldn't even see-"

"See the bride, yeah, yeah, I know," he says softly. "Next time I see you, you're gonna be one of us. Let me at least spend a little time with you while you're still Honam."

"You've always hated that I'm Honam," you remind him.

He doesn't deny it.

"Just let me help you get ready for your party," he says, stern but gentle. He's always been like that with you.

He calls it a party, because he refuses to call it a wedding. Wedding is too romantic. Too foreboding.

You don't want to smile. He's so abrasive at times, so frustrating. You wonder how you ended up here; eyes full of adoration as you nod. "Alright then, Prince Charming."

You lift your leg just a little bit, but Jungkook knows your body, so doesn't give it a second thought as he reaches down to leverage it up. He strokes at your ankle, the heel of your foot, the arch. Smiles to himself when you shudder a little when his fingers ghost across the tiny ticklish section.

"Don't," you smile. "I'll fall."

He just shrugs. "I'll catch you."

That's the thing about Jungkook; he always does. Trusty, dependable, reliable. 

Sure, maybe occasionally he would be the one to tie your laces, but he would always catch you.

You've no laces on now. Any falling? All of your own doing.

Jungkook doesn't let the sentiment linger. Asks, "Something blue?"

You look down at him as he slides the second shoe onto your other foot, and wonder if showing him really will be pushing your luck - but hey.

He's already seen the bride.

What harm would it do if he sees a little more?

He holds on to your ankle for longer than he really should. Strokes his thumb across the top of your foot. Smiles. You press the pad of your now-heeled foot into the tiny space between his spread legs, keeping it elevated, and give him a look that grants him permission to explore.

Both of his hands stroke up your raised leg, smooth and silky, the fabric of your dress moving to reveal what's hidden beneath. He reaches your knee. Leans forward a little. Presses those lips you know so well against your skin. Keeps stroking upwards, hands spreading across your thighs before reaching a roadblock. Chiffon and lace intertwined, a baby blue garter is hooked around your leg.

Jungkook's lips trail from the top of your knee to just shy of the material that stopped him from venturing further.

"Something blue," you whisper.

He nods. Lets his nose rest against it. You've sprayed it with your perfume. He fucking loves your perfume. You've been wearing the same one since he met you, and it always gets him a little heated at times he shouldn't be. 

Isn't his fault though. He thinks you conditioned him. 

And yeah, maybe you had sprayed it in his car vents on more than one occasion, and maybe you had deliberately layered a pheromone-infused oil beneath it that entire first summer. Not your fault he happened to like it a little too much. Not his fault the scent always takes him back to those stolen moments with you.

Jungkook's teeth sink into the material. Draw it back. Let it ping against your skin.

"Kook," you whisper, as if your hands aren't in his hair.

His hands push further up your legs. Both of them, now. They reveal the lacey white underwear you purchased especially for the big event. It's a matching set.

"Thank God it's not a Church wedding," he husks, a sigh exhaling. His breath tantalisingly chills your now-wet folds. So inconvenient. "You'd burn the second you stepped inside."

Jungkook's lips trail further. Leave little evidence. He's learned how to do that over the years. Has left no traces of himself, well, ever.

There's hustle and bustle in the garden out of the rear window. A traditional-style wooden screen preserves your dignity; hides your Gyeongsang-pa goonie from sight.

The venue wasn't your choice. It's Gyeongsang territory, for a start. Your father had said it would be good. Would help with the treaty. Very little about your 'party' has been planned by you. Like most of your life, your father has an iron vice on proceedings.

Your underwear was the one thing you had total control over. Had even considered wearing none at all, as a bit of a 'fuck you'.

Jungkook pauses. Takes in the sight of you. Grips the flesh of your upper thighs. Curses to himself. 

It feels like he's staring at your lace-covered cunt for an eternity before his lips finally press against it. Your grip in his hair tightens.

You'll need to change your underwear before you walk down the aisle. That's fine. This underwear was never intended for anything other than this, regardless.

Because while yes, the groom shouldn't see the bride ahead of the ceremony, it's not like that matters here. Jungkook was always going to see you before the wedding.

His lips are slow as he withdraws, and simply says, "Something borrowed."

The implication is heavy; heart-stopping. Cataclysmic.

"By you?" You whisper, as his deep dark eyes meet yours.

He looks so pretty in defeat. It pains you - but you both know this is the least painful outcome for you both.

Jungkook shakes his head. Let your dress gather by the floor. Smooths it over. Reclines into his chair.

"By Min fuckin' Yoongi."

Neither of you speak for a moment. Hearing his name, especially uttered from Jungkook's lips, makes your blood run cold. For so long, you've avoided the topic.

It's impossible, now.

See, it doesn't matter if Jungkook sees you before the ceremony.

He's not your groom.

Yoongi is.

He's your counterpart; the son of the Gyeongsang-pa King. A marriage born out of a sacred treaty between the gangs; the promise that together they'll obliterate Sudogwon's unruly mobs that have been making their way south in recent years.

"It's not too late," Jungkook whispers.

But it is, and you both know it. You've come too far to back out now.

Negotiations have been made. Peace treaties signed. Deals across clans finalised.

You're Honam's Princess, but one day you'll be Gyeongsang-pa's Queen.

Jungkook will only ever be a pauper chasing after the big boys.

So you'll say your vows and exchange your rings, and Jungkook won't object.

He'll sit quietly, like a good boy should, and watch you seal your fate.

Will watch Min Yoongi slide a wedding band onto your ring finger.

Will smile to himself when notices your engagement ring holding it in place a few months from now.

Will remind himself of the old tales that go hand in hand with opal engagement rings. If the legends are anything to go by, you'll be a widow within four years. He can wait that long. Has waited far longer, already.

And if, by four years, his time still hasn't come?

Kings can be overthrown. Jungkook is as Jopok as they come. He'll fight dirty.

For you?

He thinks he'll fight to the death.

"You're too good for Gyeongsang," he tells you, neck stretched, the crown of his head resting between his shoulder blades. You're scratching at his hair, looking at him.

With a smile, you shrug. "I'll still be Honam. For you, I'll be Honam."

Jungkook nods. Closes his eyes. Leans into your touch.

"My Honam girl," he says quietly, and it makes you wish that you had just run away with him that very first summer. You'd suggested it after you first thought you had lost your necklace. Thought it would be the only way to keep one another safe - until Jungkook found it between the seats.

You'd thanked the God that you don't believe in at the time. Clutched the necklace over your heart, head tipped to the heavens, all while Jungkook looked only at you. Lucky, he'd said, unaware that it was the worst possible outcome for you both.

You should've run.

Should've fuckin' run.

"Go," you whisper, knowing it's too late for any of that now. "We've got a party to attend, and you can't show up in a pair of sweats."

He likes that you don't call it a wedding, either. Nods. Also knows he can't be caught sneaking from your room. There'd be hell to pay.

Jungkook gets to his feet. Kisses your cheek. Tell you how pretty you look. Slowly walks to the door, then turns to look at you one final time. Spares you from a final remark that could make you feel even worse about the situation.

"Kook?" You call, just because you can't bear to let him leave. Not yet. It's too soon.

He hums a response. Doesn't open the door just yet. Waits for you to speak.

"I wish we never met."

Jungkook looks at his feet. Smiles. Nods. 

"Me, too, babe."  And then, just because he needs it to be known, "I love you."

You don't turn to face him.

"I love you, too."

[honeyhotteoks]

do you have any advice on like getting better with writing?

hey! i definitely do!! i’ve talked about this before but i have a lot of new readers, so ill start off by saying i’ve been writing for my entire life, and im 30 so thats a lot of years. if you’re a new writer, trust me i used to be there and good god if you guys could see the stuff i published in old fandoms 💀 really, really bad haha

i only say that because i by no means consider myself a great writer, there are fic writers in this space alone that i’m always so floored by and look up to…. but people have been very kind about my writing style and it’s something that took time to develop it’s not something i just “had”. outside of fic, i was a literature and creative writing major, and got very used to writing and workshopping pieces.

now! onto some actual advice —

1. read a lot and read more, but read stuff you actually like and not stuff you feel pressured to read. i love high brow litfic as much as the next pretentious english major, but i started writing a ton after reading a bunch of kindle unlimited romance because it was fun and it got me inspired

2. watch well written television for dialogue and pacing. people do not talk in proper english, they don’t say things eloquently, and there’s a lot of filler and fluff. that’s good! that’s real, so i love well written tv to show me how it’s done

3. get comfortable writing in weird ways. for years i used to sit down and be like “ah okay so chapter one” and then i was stuck, stalled out, and just felt bad about the process. when i started writing both aurora and tnt, i started in the middle. i had an image of a scene in my mind (for tnt it was actually the claim attempt) and i just wrote it out and then bounced around later

4. outlines are your friend! sometimes i’ll get a random line of dialogue in my head or an image but that doesn’t mean i’m ready to write it. i throw it in one big outline so i don’t lose it.

5. if you’re wanting to write really good smut i have two suggestions but please only do this to your personal comfort level. this is what works for me but do not make yourself uncomfortable— for good smut, i watch porn for reference and for good dirty talk, i listen to nsfw audio. i like to really write the visuals for smut and make it immersive but lol i haven’t experienced everything ive written about and logistics of the body are hard!! i usually find a video or an audio and let that help guide the imagery im writing.

6. be comfortable with the editing process. i know the temptation to post something the minute you finish it is there, but sleep on it. come back and edit it, read the dialogue out loud if you have to. i swear you’ll make the piece better just by leaving it and coming back.

7. don’t be afraid to post. most people are kind, and the worst thing that will happen is you don’t get a lot of notes. that’s okay, it’s a process.

8. research! as i’m writing anything, even a silly little oneshot, im doing research on something. i am hyper aware that im not korean and have never spoken korean or lived in korea, so for my fic i try my hardest to ground elements of that in reality. i truly cannot tell you how many hours ive spent reading like korean case law on revenge porn just for like 3 lines of dialogue. and you don’t have to go that crazy, i’m arguably too intense, but i do think some of that helps the story and the dialogue feel real.

9. describe something real- every place in my writing is based on something real. every apartment, hotel, cafe, venue, etc., they’re all either something i’ve found online or drawn from my life and use that to my advantage. i use apartment listings and save photographs, i do google map walks to see what neighborhoods look like, anything to get the feel of a place or an experience. for the christmas chapters of aurora, i watched hours of gwangju walking tour videos on youtube while i was writing just to understand how to describe their walk in the snow. it really helps me to have a visual that i can put words to.

10. find your weak points and see what other writers do differently. if you want to improve, you should find a small place to start. is it dialogue? overall plot? smut? etc. - i’ll never forget being on a creative writing retreat, and a very important writing professor said to me “everything you write is very pretty but you haven’t said anything. you have to decide to say something.” that feedback hurt, but sent me down a much better writing path when i realized where i was falling short and not challenging myself.

okay i hope some of this was helpful and if it’s a mess im sorry im on mobile. i really just love writing so deeply and will always talk about it, so i hope this was helpful 💗

[staytinyville]

Stay Alive (29)

BTS poly!ot7 x Reader

Magical Creatures AU

Series Masterlist

Warnings: smut (MDNI), piv, unprotected sex (we don't do that here),

A/N NOT BETA. YOU GUYS! If you would like to be huge supporters for me check out my KO-FI link in my bio. It will be in my masterlist as well. It would be a huge help not just to support my financial needs but to also help me continue writing.

The boys had called you all to Namjoon bedroom the moment you had arrived at work. You began to worry a bit but went along with their demands. When Jin opened up the door for you, all the boys were waiting for you looking a bit tense.

“What's going on?” You asked, looking around.

“We've come up with something to break free from here.” Hoseok explained to you.

“Tell me!” You gasped, eyes going wide at the prospect of finally being able to take the boys out. “Please, I'll try my best!” You told them.

All the boys let out a breath, almost worried that you wouldn’t be willing to help them. It wasn’t that they didn’t believe in you, it was more of the fact that they were worried about you thinking how this would affect your future. That didn’t seem to be the case though.

“It's a bit complicated and we have to make sure you have all the resources ready for this.” Namjoon grabbed onto your hand. “You will be risking your life as well as the people around you. We want to keep you safe.”

You smiled softly at him, placing a hand on his cheek as you rubbed his skin with your thumb. “Anything.” You told him. “I promise I'll follow everything.”

“The east part is taking us out.” Yoongi spoke from the bed. “However, it's after that we'll have to move quick.” He turned to you. “You're going to lose your job after this, are you sure you want to do this?”

“Saving you and everybody else from eternal abuse over some petty job that–mind you–is doing the abuse?” You spoke up. “A million times over; I have my degree. We'll take down this company for all its horrors.”

The boys looked at each other, giving each other a nod. You were different. Something they waited years for. It was finally time for them to go home.

“Taehyung has the ability to transfigure things—us included.” Hoseok began. “He'll turn us into something that won't be noticeable in your pockets. You'll take us out of the facility once everyone is going home after work.”

“And then?” You asked.

“From there we have until morning before they notice we’re gone.” Jin answered.

You weren’t going to be able to turn up to work the next day if you wanted to get them to safety as quickly as possible. The only thing that left you unsettled was leaving behind everyone else while taking the boys out. You knew they would never leave them behind but that didn’t stop you from feeling guilty.

“What about everyone else?” You looked at all of them.

“We can't risk getting everyone out at one time.” Namjoon sighed. “I know it's terrible but they'll have to wait just a bit more.”

“Okay.” You nodded your head.

Namjoon pulled you into his side, placing his chin over your head.

“Once we leave here though, we have to make haste to Yuri lake.” Yoongi sat up, legs falling off the side of Namjoon’s bed.

“There is no time to delay. We have to get home to tell Bang Nim about what Hanseol is doing.” Hoseok finished.

“Yuri lake?” You pondered. “The moon pool in the mountains?”

“Hobi said it's on your grandparents property.” Jimin spoke up.

“It is.” You nodded. “My grandpa still lives there. He's said he was going to leave it to my mother and her siblings after he passes.” You spoke softly thinking about your grandfather.

While you had lived in Gwangju with your parents, your grandparents lived in the Wolchulsan countryside. They had an entire mountain range in their backyard, what kind of child wouldn’t enjoy going to see it. You spent all your summers with your grandparents because you had always loved going to explore their farm as a child. The mountains also had tons of cave systems within them. One of which you could recall had a moon pool inside.

Your grandmother passed away a few years ago, right after you finished your studies. She had been so proud of you when you told your grandparents you were accepted into the university in Seoul. While you told her you were going to the big city, you would still be coming back down to see them during the summer.

And you had been. You still went the past summer to spend time with your grandpa. You would go back and forth between your home with your parents and the farm with your grandfather. The only thing on your mind was making sure to call beforehand to tell him that you were going to be visiting.

“(Y/N), if we do this your grandfather will also be in danger.” Namjoon pulled you back to look at you.

“Then we find a way to keep him safe.” You told him. “He'll understand. He can be stubborn but he knows when there is danger he has to leave.”

“Is that it?” You asked, wanting to be sure they were ready for it.

All the boys looked to Namjoon waiting for his response. “I guess so.”

You spent an hour going over more plans for the escape with the boys. There was a good amount of trust going into Taehyung but everyone spoke that they believed in him. They were all proud of what he was able to do with you so they were more than trustful in him.

When they all left Namjoon’s room, you almost felt like crying at the idea of finally taking them out of this place. This past month and half has been something unforgettable. You wouldn’t imagine going into a new job would entitle working for magical creatures that exist. Or being hired by a demon that could erase your mind.

It was a bit mind blowing how much you managed to find out in just a couple of days. Everything you ever thought of–understood–had changed completely in the span of a couple of hours. You also didn’t realize how much love you had to give until you found seven different men to give it to.

When you turned around, you found Namjoon sitting at the edge of his bed, head in his hands as he rubbed at his face. You walked up to him, slotting yourself between his legs making him look up at you. As you took his wrist into your hands, he opened his eyes a pur coming from his chest at the sight of you.

“You're worried.” You told him.

“Is it that obvious?” He scoffed, taking his arms from you.

He wrapped them around your waist, sticking his face into your chest. You giggled as he rubbed his cheeks against them, the rumble from his chest causing you to smile.

“Namjoon, you've given up so much.” You told him softly, running your hand through his hair. “And I know you have tried so hard to save everyone.” You pulled his face up to look at you. “It's your turn to be saved. Let me do that for you.”

“I don't want you to get hurt.” He whispered.

“One scratch on me is nothing compared to the wounds you've suffered.” You softly placed your lips onto his.

There was something about Namjoon that made you let go of everything. LIke you knew he was going to take care of you. The way he kissed you was soft, but you knew deep down that you were meant to allow him access to all that you had. He was a dominating person who demanded attention wherever he walked. And just like that he was a dominating person in bed too.

His large hands were splayed along your back, making you arch your chest into his. As he pulled you closer, you placed a knee down between his legs but he didn’t want you there. He quickly took a hold of your thigh and moved to place your knee on the other side of his hips. He did the same with your other leg, gradually making you sit down in his lap.

Once you locked your legs behind him, Namjoon stood up with you and turned you around to lay you on the bed comfortably. Feeling Namjoon press his chest onto yours and engulf your body made you feel small. Not physically but like you weren’t as powerful as you thought yourself to be.

For once you had finally met someone who you were willing to let everything go for.

Namjoon placed a hand near your head, leaning up to stare down at you. Your breath got caught in your throat, hands going to touch his chest. He was taking in breaths through his mouth, trying to come up with what to say.

“Namjoon?” You quietly spoke.

He shut his eyes tightly, fisting the sheets near your head. He dropped his forehead down to yours which caused you to gasp. You felt his hot searing skin touch you but it was gone the next moment. You wanted to rub at the spot wondering where the pain went.

“What happened?” You asked him.

He still had his eyes shut, but the moment they opened up his pupils quickly reduced in size and turned slitted. You gasped quietly as purple swirled around his irises, completely overtaking his dark eyes.

“My body temperature was rising and I didn’t want to hurt you.” He whispered.

“Namjoon we can stop–” You tried to say but he shook his head.

“No,” He told you, leaning down to give you a kiss. “It’s just what Jungkook went through. I’ve just lived long enough to know how to have a handle over it.”

He leaned forward again, planting his lips with yours in a rush. Your head began to feel dizzy at the heat coming off of Namjoon. However for some reason it was only making you more aware of everything around you. The hairs on your arm were standing up–your core was starting to get slick without so much as a thought crossing your mind to arouse you.

Namjoon pulled back from your lips with a pop, making quick work to take off your pants and underwear causing you to gasp.

“Namjoon?” You called to him.

Looking up, your eyes went wide as they took in his hooded expression and clenched jaw. He looked bigger to you for some reason. Steam was coming off his body that left you worried about his safety as well as yours.

After taking off his clothing, like a predator, he slowly placed his hands on the bed, crawling over your body to make you lean back onto the bed. He kept his head down, keeping his purple eyes on yours.

“Namjoon?” You whispered again, eyes drifting down to his lips.

“I have a hold of it.” He answered. “My body won’t hurt you. Not in this kind of state.”

You nodded your head, at a loss for words as you became dizzy again. The only thing you could think about was how cold your legs seemed to be. Namjoon’s warmth that radiated from his chest seemed to have an effect on you and you were basking in it.

You felt a shiver wrack down your body as Namjoon’s lips went to your neck. As he moved lower, he pushed your shirt up to expose more of your skin, taking in a deep breath when he reached your navel. He stopped for a moment, nose twitching at your heat that was bare for him to feel on his chest.

You felt his fingers twitch at your side, digging into your skin as they warmed up your body more than it already was. You flinched a bit when Namjoon suddenly shot his head up, looking up at you.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked you.

You gave him a small smile, reaching a hand out to stroke his cheek. “I’m okay.” You told him.

“Then hold on.”

Your eyes went wide at the smirk he gave you, quickly hiding from your stare as his head was suddenly buried between your legs. You didn’t get the chance to comprehend what he was doing seeing as the moment his tongue touched your heat you let out a moan and tried to clench your legs.

The way he moved along your lower lips was much different to the way Jungkook had. The younger man was sloppy, using everything and making sure to cover everything. However Namjoon was precise in what he did. The tip of his tongue probed at your entrance, going up and down your slit.

You arched your back into his face, gasping out trying to take in some kind of breath but it seemed Namjoon kept taking it right out of you. He grew annoyed with your twitching it seemed, quickly leaning up as he shifted one of your legs down onto the bed and the other higher up to his shoulder.

The position had you crying and your muscles stretching. He had you wide open to accommodate him, dragging your body up to his mouth. When you heard him growl your vision went blank for a moment.

With the heat that seemed to act like an aphrodisiac and the sounds rumbling out of his chest, you began to feel your orgasm building up. You tried to reach out for Namjoon, crying out as you couldn’t find something to hold onto. He must have felt your conflict because he quickly removed a hand to reach out towards you.

As his fingers curled around yours, your vision went black and your legs twitched at your orgasm. As our core clenched and unclenched, Namjoon allowed himself to place his entire mouth on you to suck whatever it was you would give him.

When your orgasm finally stopped, Namjoon softly dropped your legs down onto the bed, messaging your skin to calm you down from your high. With your open mouth and blissed out expression, Namjoon smiled crawling back up to your face.

You slowly opened your eyes, taking him in above you. Leaning up to brush your lips against his, you wanted to feel him on you again to calm down your nerves. He moved to brush his fingertips against your cheeks, placing his forehead against yours. Your eyes slipped closed as strong emotions of love and care overtook you.

“You’re one of us now.” He whispered to you. “We won’t allow anything to happen to you.”

You gasped quietly at the feeling of his length between the both of you. Namjoon stood back up, one leg placed on the edge of the bed. Grabbing onto your hips he quickly dragged you closer to the end, allowing him to slot between your legs. He made you lock your legs behind his back, going back to give you a searing kiss after he got you where he wanted.

You felt your body relax rather than tense at his intrusion. There wasn’t a burn like the others, instead all you felt was immense pleasure. The pants you let out in Namjoon’s ear had him growling again. The blunt nails digging into the skin of your hips made you mewl at the feeling.

The moment Namjoon was sheathed all the way, all you could think about was clawing at his back and wanting him to move. Even if he didn’t have to wait, he still took a moment. Judging from how he seemed to clench his eyes shut, it probably had to be because he didn’t want to finish too quickly.

And the moment your hips tried to move to gain some kind of friction, that was all it took for Namjoon to slam your hips down with a warning growl and his purple eyes to stare down at you. You squeaked out, quickly stopping your movements.

He leaned back to your ear. “I’m not trying to scare you, Little One.” He said breathlessly. “But I’m the one taking care of you. Be patient.”

You nodded quickly, moving to touch any part of him in order to ground you back down to the plane of the living. And the moment he felt your body relax once more, he began to move his hips.

You once again felt the dominance he had about him that made you want to allow him to take care of you. It wasn’t that you were going into a separate head space, it was just that Namjoon had that air about him that was caring. Something that made him someone others looked up to when it came to their problems. For you, it was just an emotion you were no stranger to. You had always been someone who cared for people, and for once there was someone who wanted to care for you.

With Namjoon leaning over your body, your fingers dug into his back. And when your second orgasm was approaching you began to grip onto it tightly. Even in your orgasmic bliss, you didn’t want to scratch at his back for fear of hurting his already damaged skin.

When Namjoon’s orgasm came full force, your eyes snapped open at the roar he let out. His eyes seemed to glow and his teeth were much sharper than normal. It was a sight to see someone like Namjoon let go in such a primal way.

He had quickly pulled out before anything happened. He let go onto the floor rather than on you, dropping both hands down near you after his high began to go down. Your own need to take care of him began to swell in your chest as you watch him try to calm down.

You moved from your position, slowly dragging his arm up with you to led him to lay down. He was sluggish, tired from the entire deal. You smiled softly at his look. You almost wanted to cry with how much it seemed everything was weighing on him. For once he had let go of that stress.

Namjoon pulled you closer, swallowing as his eyes closed shut. “Why are you upset?” He asked you.

You pulled back from his chest, looking up at him. “Because–you’re always so stressed and for once you need someone to care for you.” You lean up just a bit. “I know that might be how you act but trust me in this.” You reached over to give him a soft kiss.

“It’s your turn to be cared for.”

Series Masterlist

[winterchimez]

Criminal | Lee Juyeon

summary: you love Lee Juyeon with all of your heart, and you are willing to do anything for him, even if he is the infamous criminal the city has been desperately trying to place back behind closed bars for years.

pairing: criminal Juyeon x agent f!reader

genre: angst, crime, slight fluff

warnings: violence, minor character deaths, blood, mentions of weapons (guns, snipers, blades, etc.), kissing

word count: 3,380

a/n: here is the 2nd entry from my 100 followers event and this was requested by my love @cloverdaisies 💚 i can't tell you how happy i was when you requested a criminal romance fic (lmao i prob just like writing crime a bit too much) & hope you'll love this my dearest clo 🫶🏻

The sounds of the sirens coming from the dozens of police cars were what filled the city tonight. 

It has happened again. 

For five years, the city has been haunted by the infamous criminal himself, The Stealer, who is notably one of the most infamous thieves the city has ever had for the past few decades. 

Nobody really knew what his motive was or even his true identity. All the public knew was that he had begun his spree, going from building to building to steal the most valued treasures or jewellery the country has kept safe behind those sturdy vaults with heavy security. None has ever succeeded in breaking through the tight security, that was until The Stealer came into the picture. However, the man himself has never harmed anyone, as his motive was just stealing the valued items while leaving no trails behind. 

That was until he was finally caught red-handed by one of the rookie agents during the infamous Royal Bank Heist case that happened last summer. 

Obviously, the public finally rejoiced at the fact that the infamous criminal that had been lurking in the shadows for long enough had finally been put behind bars, and everyone could return back to their normal daily routine again.

But their happiness was not to last for long, for The Stealer himself broke free while he was in captivity and was placed in one of the vehicles where he was supposed to be transported back to the local police station. 

And because it was you who helped the now infamous criminal to break free. 

Why have you done that months ago? When the law enforcement has been desperately trying to put this madman behind bars once and for all?

There was only one answer.

Because the infamous The Stealer himself was Lee Juyeon, your childhood best friend whom you grew up with and had a crush on for the longest time.

You and Juyeon go all the way back in middle school, where you and your family had just recently moved from the outskirts of Busan to Gwangju. After settling down for a short while, it didn’t take long for your parents to enroll you in one of the infamous institutes at the time so that you could continue with your education. 

And that was where you met your crush and best friend, Lee Juyeon.

As you stepped into the classroom to introduce yourself, you felt all sorts of negative emotions ranging from fear to anxiety. None of your classmates really paid much attention to you and even treated you like a nobody. But that wasn’t the case with Juyeon. The boy immediately welcomed you to sit right next to him, being one of the only empty seats that were still available at the time. Next thing you knew, you both immediately hit off as good friends within a few days.

Juyeon was definitely one of the biggest extroverts you’ve ever met in your lifetime. He would always initiate a conversation with you in any situation you may be in and even bring you along to meet his group of friends every day after classes. 

What’s more, that boy was really into basketball, so much so that he eventually secured a permanent role of being one of the active players for the school team, and this went on even until high school. Each time he would drag you to watch his practice match and to his games, which, quite frankly, you felt that it was a chore at the beginning. But as you slowly opened yourself up more to him, you eventually began enjoying these little so-called “dates” since it was where you get to see Juyeon’s skills up close. 

And it was when you started to develop a crush on him.

The way how he was so passionate about the sport he loves dearly, up to how you can always witness his good reflexes and muscles up close? You’d be lying to yourself if they did not make you drool whenever you see them in person. Not to mention all of the instances where he turns in your direction to give you a smile or sometimes a wink if you were lucky enough. Oh, how you were the luckiest girl alive. 

Things went on till the end of high school, where you both graduated with distinction and made both of your families proud. Eventually, you both got into your desired university, Seoul National University, to further pursue your career. Juyeon went in with a sports scholarship and was determined to dedicate his life fully to basketball, while you went ahead with criminology as you followed your father’s footsteps. 

That was until the fall of your first year of university. 

Word spread quickly throughout the campus and eventually to the neighbourhood on how Juyeon’s parents were mysteriously murdered in the comforts of their home while he was out running some errands. The sight that greeted Juyeon as he came back was something that will forever be implanted deep within his mind, never to be forgotten. 

Ever since then, Juyeon began to distance himself from everyone, even you. After the semester ended, he was nowhere to be seen again. 

It was as if he had mysteriously disappeared from the town itself, leaving little to no traces behind of where he might be. You and everyone tried your very best to contact him in all sorts of ways possible, but every single time there was no response at all. Eventually, everyone began to move on with their lives and forget that he had ever existed. 

Except for you.

For years you have continuously tried to reach back out to him by writing him letters addressed to his former residence in both Seoul and Gwangju. It did not matter if you did not receive a reply, for you’d figured if one day he were to appear in front of you again, those letters will surely reach him someday. 

This went on even until you graduated from university and landed a role as an undercover agent under the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Almost immediately, when you were assigned to a specific department, you were made aware of the series of robbery crime sprees that have happened within the city for the past several months. 

During a couple of your first missions, you and your team somewhat briefly came across The Stealer himself but failed each time to capture the man as he was too quick and was always up for a challenge with you and your fellow agents from the bureau. 

That was until your second year of working as an undercover agent, and you actually came face-to-face with The Stealer during a stand-off on one of your missions. And it was there you realised it was your crush and best friend you have desperately tried to contact for years. 

He removed his mask as he revealed his identity to you since you both were alone at that time, and no words could describe how you felt during that tense moment. Your heart finally felt at ease knowing the person you have been desperately trying to contact has finally re-emerged back in front of you and knowing that he was still alive and sound. But your other half knew that he was now a wanted criminal and is worth thousands of dollars to put him behind bars. 

Eventually, you handcuffed the male and brought him down to your colleagues, who desperately awaited your return at the lower ground. Juyeon did not resist much, as he allowed the rest of the agents to escort him into one of the transport vans to take him back down to the station. 

At that time, you were the driver and were supposed to make sure that both the fugitive and the rest of the agents returned back safe and sound to the bureau. But what they did not know was that you had other plans in your mind. 

You were going to help Juyeon escape. 

So that was what you did. You purposely lost control of the wheel and drove the vehicle right into a tree that was situated close to the highway, and immediately all of the agents blacked out from the sudden impact. You and Juyeon, on the other hand, only sustained minor injuries. 

Not wasting a second, you immediately helped Juyeon to get out of the vehicle and urged him to make a quick escape now since there were only a few seconds of opening before the remaining vehicles that were following behind yours would arrive at the crash site. 

Your friend was definitely conflicted, but you quickly shoved the man into the woods and urged him to keep running and not look back. You could tell that at that time, tears had formed in his eyes, and he was desperately trying to tell you something. Perhaps the reason why he was gone for such a long time, or even the motive as to why he began his spree all these years. 

But there was no time. As the sounds of the sirens grew louder, he quickly turned his heel toward the deep dark woods, quickly muttering a simple “thank you” before disappearing into the night. 

With that, you were left behind to deal with the mess you have created, but internally you had already prepared yourself to do so when you had plotted out this whole escape getaway for your friend. 

I hope I won’t be seeing you again, Juyeon. 

Turns out you were wrong, and your friend has seemingly decided to make his comeback tonight after three years since his escape. 

The FBI was immediately alerted by the local police stations once news got out that he was back, breaking into the infamous Lotte Hotel Seoul, where the current most prized jewellery was kept safe within the vaults in the basement.

However, knowing The Stealer and how he has managed to break through even the tightest security from past experiences, the bureau knew that they were not taking chances and immediately hopped into action right away. 

Since The Stealer has re-emerged after going into hiding for a year, you knew that your superiors would not take failure as an option this time. Hence, all of you agents were equipped with the latest weapons and technology that the bureau has upgraded, and within minutes all of you were out the door, hopping into your vehicles and heading to the designated location. 

As you drove your way to the infamous hotel, the only thing that was on your mind was how the head of the FBI had issued a clear order for any of your agents to shoot the man down if needed, doesn’t matter if he was alive or dead at the end of the day, so long as his body was taken to the bureau in one piece.

Shaking off the negative thoughts, you pressed down your accelerator and began speeding up to the site of interest.

Please, Juyeon, please be safe. 

The whole ride would’ve taken about ten minutes if only you weren’t preoccupied with all of the negative thoughts you were having about this current mission. You felt like it was one of the longest drives you’ve ever had to take for a stand-off mission. 

Once you arrived at the location, you immediately hopped off your vehicle and took all of your equipment with you as you rushed to the scene. Sure enough, some of your colleagues were already there in their designed spots, and some were armed with snipers to take the man down. 

What you didn’t expect was that a full shoot-out had already begun, where some of the agents were already shooting the targeted building floor where you assumed Juyeon was. You looked up, and that was where you saw your friend, armed with a gun, also shooting back at your agents. 

No freaking way. 

Juyeon would never harm a fly. He never did even all those years when he began his spree in the city. The only thing he did was take away the valued treasures and leave the scene in haste. 

So why now? Had something changed in the man after going into hiding for the past year? Why has he begun to go down the violent pathway? 

You needed answers. And you had to get to him as soon as possible. 

Trying your best to think of a way to reach him, you were turning your head back and forth from your fellow agents to Juyeon in the building. 

Come on. Think, Y/N. You have to come up with something quick. 

As you were lost in your thoughts, one of the snipers managed to aim at Juyeon’s weak spot, pulled the trigger, and within seconds you could’ve sworn you saw the bullet go straight into his right shoulder in slow-motion. Right away, your friend collapsed on the ground, and the agents wasted no time getting into the building as fast as they could.

No, I’m not letting you get caught. 

Without thinking much, you immediately removed one of the canisters from your bulletproof vest. You threw it to the ground, creating a smokescreen which could temporarily slow down the movements of your colleagues. That was when you quickly got on your feet and ran up into the building as fast as possible. 

Please, Juyeon. Bear with me. 

You could say that you were known among your colleagues to be one of the fastest agents alive because you managed to get Juyeon out from there and somehow escaped to the rooftops of one of the nearby buildings instead.

With Juyeon being wounded, it wasn’t easy having to carry him as he leaned on you while draping one of his arms over your shoulders. Not to mention you were carrying your own agent equipment simultaneously. Hence, you could say it was a miracle for you both to have gone undetected as you both made your escape. 

As you both reached your temporary safe spot, you immediately laid Juyeon down on the ground while quickly fishing out the first aid materials you had always brought along with you on every mission. Taking one of your blades from your vest, you quickly cut open the black tee that Juyeon was wearing to reveal a bloodied, wounded shoulder. The bullet was stuck pretty well within his shoulder, and since you did not have the right materials to remove it, the best you could do was somehow stop the bleeding for now and slightly help ease his pain.

As you were doing your thing, your friend decided to speak up, and god, have you missed that deep yet comforting voice that you’ve always admired and loved. 

“Y/N. You know you are potentially playing a nurse to a killer right now?” 

“Shush, Juyeon. Don’t say another word.”

He chuckled. “Y/N. You always see the good in people, even me. After all these years, where I have brought you nothing but pain.” 

As you finally wrapped the bandage around his shoulder and put a slight pressure down on the wound, you finally turned your head to face the man of your dreams. Right there and then, tears began forming in your eyes. You just wanted nothing else but to hold him in your arms, assuring him that everything was under control and it would be all okay. 

You were about to speak when he reached his hands up to your face and gently caressed your cheeks while wiping the streaming tears away with his thumb. Now, he looks at you fondly and takes in all of your features, as if he has not seen you for so long and how badly he had missed this beautiful face he always yearns for. 

“Juyeon…” You began to hold his hand on your face for dear life, not wanting to let it go anymore. 

He smiled. “I’m sure you have a whole ton of questions for me, and I’m so sorry for keeping you in the dark for years, Y/N. But I need you to know that I’m doing all this for a reason, and it all concerns my parent's murder from all those years ago.”

So it was something related to that infamous case. 

“But I can’t tell you more than that, at least for now.”  

Your shoulders slumped in defeat as you hoped he’d come clean to you right here and now. But if he had his reasons, then there was no reason for you to judge him or force him into doing something he cannot commit now. 

“It’s fine, Juyeon. What matters is that I’m glad to have reunited with you ever since that car crash from a year prior.” 

You both enjoyed that short silence between one another before you began hearing sounds that were coming in your direction, which indicated that someone was coming up to the rooftop. 

Time was up, and you had to let him go once again. 

Before that, you quickly slipped a note to your friend as you helped him sit up. “Go to this location right here and find this building hidden in the outskirts of town. You’ll find an abandoned cabin where someone will tend to your wounds and hopefully keep you safe till you can get up on your feet yourself again.” 

Just as you were about to get Juyeon up from the ground, he immediately grabbed your arms and stopped you in your tracks. “Why are you doing so much for me, Y/N? When the only thing I’ve ever brought you was trouble?” 

You gulped before finally answering him with what you have always wanted him to know. 

“Because I love you, Lee Juyeon. And I would do anything to keep you safe, even if it meant ditching my status or position to do so.” 

Immediately, you dived into his embrace and begged for one last thing you could get from him before letting him go. “Please, just hold me for a moment.” 

Sure enough, he did as you were told and returned the embrace as well. Within seconds, he broke it off, and the next thing that happened, he crashed his lips onto yours. More tears began streaming down as you eased into the kiss, wishing to savour this moment for as long as possible. 

The footsteps were now getting closer, and you knew that you could no longer hold your colleagues back anymore. Hence, the kiss was broken off, and you helped Juyeon up to his feet while helping him get to the edge of the building. You quickly strapped him up in your zipline equipment which you’d set up prior in case you both had to make a run for it. 

“Now go, Juyeon. I’ll deal with them.” 

Your friend took one last glance at you and returned one more kiss on your lips. “Thank you, Y/N. I promise you, I will write you back a letter this time. Just like how you’ve done to me for all those years.” 

Within seconds, you witnessed how Juyeon glided down into another building, and he made a run for it as best as he could. You watched as he made his way out of the building and eventually disappeared into one of the alleyways, which you knew that it leads to the outskirts of town. 

Right away, as Juyeon was out of sight, the doors to the rooftop burst open, revealing a few of your colleagues rushing to you with snipers in their hands. They were obviously shocked by the amount of blood that had gotten onto you, and you somehow convinced them that The Stealer had wounded you badly and fled the scene a long time ago. Thus, one of them escorted you down from the building while the remaining ones tried their best to catch up with the criminal's footsteps. 

Making your way out of the building, you couldn’t help but look up into the sky, praying that this whole nightmare you both have been dealing with will ultimately come to an end someday, real soon. 

“Juyeon, I’ll always love you and have your back no matter what. And I pray that the next time we meet, we will no longer be haunted by our past.” 

masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @k-films @flwoie @hokupi @zzoguri @kyusqult @tinkerbell460 @cheonsafics @sulkygyu (join my permanent taglist here!)

[whoistheveil]

🪷 ೀ ⠀ִ⠀ׁ꩝𝗍’s , ﹫MILA’s log⠀ 𖹭𔕛ିֺ𓈒

Park Hyeja was born on a rainy evening in Busan, the kind of night where the city lights seem blurred and distorted, as if the world itself were uncertain of its own existence. Her childhood is a blank space in the minds of those who try to recall it—teachers, neighbors, even distant relatives. “She was a quiet child,” they say, but their voices waver, as if they’re unsure whether they’ve said it before or if they’ve simply been told to believe it. Mila was introduced as the first member of The Veil, and from the moment she appeared, something about her unsettled people. She never seems surprised. She never fumbles. In interviews, she speaks with precision, like she’s reading from a script only she can see. Fans say that in pre-debut photos, her face seems slightly different each time, though no one can explain how. There’s a story about Mila that circulates online, though no one knows where it started. It claims that if you say her real name three times in front of a mirror, your reflection will tilt its head slightly before you do. Of course, it’s just a story. Right?

STAGE NAME: Mila (밀라)

KOREAN NAME: Park Hyeja (박혜자)

BIRTHDAY: March 3, 1999

ZODIAC: Pisces

BIRTHPLACE: Busan, South Korea

HOMETOWN: Busan, South Korea

ETHNICITY: Korean

NATIONALITY: South Korean

FACECLAIM: Yves, Soloist

🪷 ೀ ⠀ִ⠀ׁ꩝𝗍’s , ﹫DAON’s log 𖹭𔕛ିֺ𓈒

Choi Daon has always been too perfect. Her dancing is mechanical, precise to the point of unnaturalness—every movement calculated to an eerie degree. Fans praise her technique but can’t shake the feeling that there’s nothing behind her eyes when she performs. Before joining The Veil, Daon was a trainee under another company, though records of which one have vanished. Her pre-debut presence is minimal, almost nonexistent, and old classmates seem confused when asked about her. “She was quiet,” they say, but their voices sound uncertain, like they’re trying to convince themselves. Daon struggles with small, human details. In one interview, she listed kimchi jjigae as her favorite food. A week later, when asked again, she blinked and said, "I don’t think I’ve ever eaten that before." Once, on a live broadcast, a fan asked, "Do you ever have dreams?" She went silent for a full 30 seconds before responding: "I don’t think so. But sometimes I wake up and—" She never finished the sentence.

STAGE NAME: Daon (다온)

KOREAN NAME: Choi Daon (최다온)

BIRTHDAY: September 14, 1999

ZODIAC: Virgo

BIRTHPLACE: Seoul, South Korea

HOMETOWN: Seoul, South Korea

ETHNICITY: Korean

NATIONALITY: South Korean

FACECLAIM: Yeri, Red Velvet

🪷 ೀ ⠀ִ⠀ׁ꩝𝗍’s , ﹫YEORIN’s log 𖹭𔕛ିֺ𓈒

Go Yeorin doesn’t talk much. There are barely any pre-debut photos of her, and those that exist feel... wrong. Blurry, distorted, as if the camera didn’t want to capture her. Fans say that if you look at them too long, you start to feel like something is watching you back. She’s quiet in interviews, answering in short, neutral sentences. But what unsettles people isn’t what she says—it’s what happens when she doesn’t. During one promotional event, a fan asked her to share a childhood memory. Yeorin blinked once. Twice. Then, in a voice flat and empty, she said: "I don’t think I had a childhood." The silence that followed was unbearable.

STAGE NAME: Yeorin (여린)

KOREAN NAME: Go Yeorin (고여린)

BIRTHDAY: July 22, 2001

ZODIAC: Cancer

BIRTHPLACE: Gwangju, South Korea

HOMETOWN: Gwangju, South Korea

ETHNICITY: Korean

NATIONALITY: South Korean

FACECLAIM: Winter, Aespa

🪷 ೀ ⠀ִ⠀ׁ꩝𝗍’s , ﹫SALLY’s log 𖹭𔕛ିֺ𓈒

Sally Tanner grew up in Sydney, a girl with a wide smile and a voice that carried in a crowd. She was the most normal of them once, the most alive—but something changed when she entered The Veil. She doesn’t speak English much anymore, even though it’s her first language. When fans ask her to say something in it, she hesitates, like she has to remember how words are supposed to fit together. Sometimes, she mispronounces things she used to say fluently. She is the most expressive member, but in a way that feels deliberate, as if she’s making up for something. Her eyes dart around in interviews, searching. Looking for an exit. During one live broadcast, a fan asked, "Do you like being in The Veil?" Sally laughed, but it sounded forced. Then, in English, she whispered: "I don’t know if I had a choice." The live was cut off seconds later.

STAGE NAME: Sally (샐리)

KOREAN NAME: Tanner Sally (태너 샐리)

BIRTHDAY: May 5, 2004

ZODIAC: Taurus

BIRTHPLACE: Melbourne, Australia

HOMETOWN: Sydney, Australia & Seoul, South Korea

ETHNICITY: Korean

NATIONALITY: Australian

FACECLAIM: Minju, ILLIT

🪷 ೀ ⠀ִ⠀ׁ꩝𝗍’s , ﹫NARI’s log 𖹭𔕛ିֺ𓈒

Nari is the youngest member of The Veil, but something about her feels the oldest. She is still. Too still. When she performs, her movements are perfect—but fans have noticed she rarely blinks. In some videos, she doesn’t appear to be breathing at all. She is the only member who has never cried in front of fans. The only member who never seems tired. During a live broadcast, Mila called her name twice. Nari didn’t react. Not a flinch, not a glance. It was as if she didn’t hear it. After an uncomfortable silence, she finally turned to the camera and said, "Sorry. Sometimes I forget I exist." No one laughed.

STAGE NAME: Nari (나리)

KOREAN NAME: Jung Nari (정나리)

BIRTHDAY: September 30th, 2004

ZODIAC: Libra

BIRTHPLACE: Seoul, South Korea

HOMETOWN: Seoul, South Korea

ETHNICITY: Korean

NATIONALITY: South Korean

FACECLAIM: Wonyoung, IVE

Cover template made by Koccobear on deviantart!

[yooboobies]

tell the public (me, a fellow sopie) why you love sope so much? we all want the know!! and pls make as big as you want, today im in my yoonseok feelings

You ALL want to know?👀

The most honest answer to this question would be that I don’t know. I don’t know how it started, why it started- one day I just really loved Sope as a whole.

But to be fair i do have some thoughts on this. I started out as a Tae girl and along with him I started growing fonder of Yoongi as well until to the point when it was just Yoongi. I got myself deeper and deeper and deeper in the rabbit hole - got to know BTS more, got to know each member’s story and I found myself caring so much for this heart shaped boy named Hoseok.

I learned about his story - we all know it so I won’t go deeper into it because I will cry - and I just couldn’t help myself and unconsciously started caring for him so much more.

I found myself digging deeper for Sope content - found Hwagae Market and from that point on there was no going back. Their dynamic is something really special to me cause it reminds me of the one I have with my best friend. She always describes us two to strangers or new people as sun and moon, she always says while I am the moon and the night sky in her life that she needs, she is the sun and the daylight in mine that I need.

And Sope is that to me. I love the side of Yoongi Hobi brings out so much. Carefree, shy and happy. And I love that Yoongi can always make Hobi laugh and how endeared Hobi is whenever Yoongi does something so mundane like it’s the greatest thing in the world.

I love how Yoongi stayed with him for New Years, even tho they barely knew each other back then, because that’s just the kind of person he is and that’s how special their friendship is. He didn’t want the sunshine to leave Hobi so he stayed ans kept the lights warm in Hobah so they never died out and kept radiating in him. I believe that he is the warmest person today because Yoongi made sure to never let those lights go out.

I love whenever they talk about the things they did together in the earlier years they always do that with such fondness - I love that they used to do things together such as going out and watch underground rap performances and all… I love how it was so important to them.

I love how silly those two can be together up to a point where they made a whole performance together wearing shiny jackets and coming up with the funniest dance just because they can. I bet it didnt take much convincing from Hobi - Yoongi agreed easily. I love that they have this as something we will always remember of whenever we think about Sope.

I love Hwagae Market because it wasn’t JUST a name for their ‘show’ - if you know the lore its what connects Gwangju and Daegu together, that meeting point, the market 🥹 It’s so special and I miss it SO MUCH I WANT HWAGAE MARKET BACK 😔😔😔😔 I love how it was THEIR thing - how they just did whatever they came up with let that be try not laugh or playing the flute or sharing the same outfit or just talking…. It was utterly and completely a Sope thing that I will cherish forever.

I love how they bring out the best from each other, I love how in the end they are each other’s vitamins not just Hobi for Yoongi. Their dynamic is - how I like to describe it - a little bit of everything. Soft, because through soft actions they care for each other let that be going the mv shooting from making songs together and supporting each other to just making sure the other is doing okay and ate enough. Funny because lets be honest those two are HILARIOUS together. Uplifting - they make even the gloomy days happier and better for each other. Full of love and care.

Sope means everything good and happy to me. They are the ones you have to get to know well to understand who they are because they are so easily misunderstood and I relate to that a lot . You would say Hobi is always just loud and overly energetic and too much while he is really not. He is a very serious, very hardworking and very collected person, it just happens that he contains so many warm sunshine he doesn’t want to keep it all to himself so he decided to share it with us. You would say Yoongi is cold and emotionless but he is the kindest and gentlest and most caring person in this earth. And I will never stop proving this.

But most importantly

Even tho they had MANY hardships BOTH OF THEM stayed gentle.

[blizzardfluffykpop]

Start Anew

Summary: Your best friend, Eric, wants you to meet his brother from another mother, Juyeon. 

Oneshot

Exes to lovers, Non-idol au

Word Count: 1,039

Juyeon X Reader 

[Features: Best friend! Eric]

[A/n: I got this thought while watching Moonrock yesterday… And I wrote it up in like two hours, so enjoy.]

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You’ve been walking through Gwangju for a while with Eric. To say you weren’t familiar with these roads would be silly. You know these roads like the back of your hand. Your last meaningful boyfriend lived here. You were lost in thought until Eric turned to you excitedly, “I think you would love to meet him!” You blink, trying to remember him saying a name, and he continues, “He's my brother when I'm away from home. His family always welcomes me.” When he turns around, you gulp, hoping you’re wrong because this path is the same path you used to walk hand in hand with Juyeon to his home. It’s not that you didn’t want to meet him. You just knew you’d fall for him again if you saw him again. 

You settle your nerves until he stops at the one house you dread he would. Eric enters the code as if he was entering his own home. He excitedly walks in, and you follow behind him. “Ju! I'm here!” And after a moment or two, you hear someone coming down the stairs. You turn your head to see this fabled brother from another mother, hoping it’s anyone else, to see Lee Juyeon, your old boyfriend. Your heart skips a beat, but you hold yourself together. It wasn't that it ended on bad terms. It ended because you both were going your separate ways. And although it broke you, you both knew long distance. No matter how hard you tried, it wouldn't work out. From behind Eric, you look at Juyeon and see how he's changed, yet all the ways he's stayed the same. Juyeon catches sight of you, and stops at the bottom of the stairs, and puts his hand behind his neck, rubbing it reflexively. Eric grins as he goes up to him and gives him a giant hug, “I've missed you, man!” He cheers, and Juyeon wraps his arms around him. And for a moment, you imagine what it'd be like meeting him with no prior knowledge. From how you'd tell Eric that you think his friend is handsome. And how Eric would let it slip to him by accident. Yet, that's not how you're meeting Juyeon. You already know him inside and out, but that was then. Do you even know anything about him anymore? Does he still like basketball? Is he still slow to react to things? Does he have that same cute giggle? You gulp as you hold back any feelings that threaten to bubble up. 

Eric pulls away with a joyful smile with his arm wrapped around Juyeon's shoulder. He says, “(Y/n), I want you to meet my dearest friend and practically my brother, Juyeon.” Juyeon gives a small smile, and you reciprocate as Eric introduces you, “Juyeon, this is my best friend I met abroad, (Y/n). They saved my ass so many times.” The three of you let out a laugh. But you can't help but stare at Juyeon as you whisper, “Eric...” And Eric cocks his head to the side, “Yeah?” You look at the ground, “Juyeon and I already know each other.” Eric pulls his arm from Juyeon and gasps, looking between you both, “What?!” Juyeon nods, and Eric asks, “How?!” You look at the ground and say, “We used to date.” Eric blinks and looks at Juyeon, confused, “So why was it whenever I mentioned (Y/n) you never said anything?” Juyeon looks at the ground, “Um, I always… I always hoped it was my (Y/n). But I assumed it wasn't.” And Eric turns to you, “And whenever I mentioned Juyeon to you?!” You sigh, “I uh was hoping it wasn't him because knowing he could be in your life, but we couldn't be in each other's… hurt. I loved him a lot, Eric…” Eric gulps and looks between you two again, “Well… um, this is awkward... I'm gonna go and let you two solve this tension…” He heads away somewhere in the house. 

You can't pay attention even if you wanted to. You both start, “So um…” He gestures for you to go first, “I've heard from Eric what you've been up to over the years, but… are you seeing anyone?” He shakes his head ‘no’ as he rubs the back of his neck, “I dated before, but uh… I've always kind of hoped to see you again.” You look down, “I always hoped we'd run into each other again… and that we could start anew.” You fiddle with your fingers, and he asks bluntly, “Well, what if we do?” You look up at him, stunned. And ask, “Really?” “Yeah.” He smiles as you stare at each other and says, “We both miss each other and have wanted each other… so?” You smile, “I'd love to.” And that's when you hear a cheer from the top of the stairs. You both roll your eyes as if catching a child sneaking around noisily to find out what his presents are before Christmas. You both say in unison, “Eric, you can come down now.” You hear him drag his feet, “I just wanted my friends to be happy together…” You laugh before you ask, “Did you figure it out before?” 

Eric rolls his eyes and nods, “There’s only so many Juyeons and (Y/n)s in the world, and even fewer that know each other.” You gasp, “You little brat…” And Juyeon blinks at him before finally saying, “Eric…” Eric laughs before shrugging, “Hey, if it wasn't for me putting two and two together, you two wouldn’t have reunited…” You shake your head, “You’re right, but… You would have introduced us even if you didn't figure it out.” Eric laughs, “You have me there.” He walks between you two before clapping you both on the back, “So, where's our first date, love birds? I'm quite hungry.” You both roll your eyes, and Eric continues, “I'm thinking ramen. What about you two?” Juyeon grabs your hand, “What do you say we eat with kiddo here and ignore him as we catch up?” You laugh, interlocking your fingers, “I'd love to.” Eric pouts, “But I helped get you guys together... You're going to ignore me?!” You both laugh at his expense, and say, “Exactly.” 

[missywritesfor7]

❤️‍🩹Lifeline | MYG❤️‍🩹

Synopsis: It’s long been controversial for idols to date, but idols dating each other can be really beautiful or a complete nightmare. When Yoongi's relationship with another idol is discovered, he decides maybe it’s time to break the taboo and show people it’s ok for idols to date. Instead, they find themselves caught in the midst of one media frenzy after another and struggle to keep their relationship as strong as it had been the past 2 years. Yoongi finds a self destructive way to cope, and it causes even more problems than it solves. As they fight for their relationship and their careers, they discover that sometimes, the only way to truly be free is to let go.

Pairing: idol!Yoongi x idol!OC

Warnings: nsfw, alcoholism, cheating, depression, anxiety, Yoongi goes through a bisexy ho phase, Yoongi is also in his alcoholic phase, post-military BTS

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Ch. 8: Caught in a Lie

Hyeri wakes up for what she thinks is the 5th time today with a throbbing headache. Her neck is sore from the whiplash the air bag caused and she’s starting to feel sore in other areas she hadn’t realized were hurt at first. She needs to get up to take another dose of medicine but she can’t find the strength.

When she was falling asleep behind the wheel, she was also accelerating. She hadn’t realized that she actually slept through two stoplights before she was going so fast that her car was going well above the speed limit. When her car hit the curb, she went flying into the stoplight pole at such a force that the pole was nearly knocked over and the front of her car was almost completely crushed in.

After her accident she blacked out a few times. She stayed in the hospital for two days until her parents could come up from Gwangju and take her home.

The accident left her with a mild concussion, bruises on her face, neck, shoulders, and chest, as well as cuts on her face and hands, a few requiring stitches. Her car is totaled but she’s glad she didn’t come out with any more serious injuries. She could have been discharged within 24 hours from the hospital, but she had no one to take her home. Her manager offered but she also needed someone to stay with her while she recovers at home. She opted to stay in the hospital longer and wait for her parents to come.

It worked out though, because tabloids followed her manager’s car thinking she went home with him the day she was discharged. By the time they realized she wasn’t with him, Hyeri had already quickly and quietly left with her parents.

Since then she’s been at home being cared for by her parents. They stay in the guest room they usually stay in when they come visit. They make sure Hyeri takes her medicines and she eats well. Her mother helps wash her and shampoo her hair, and her father makes sure she gets any and everything she needs whether it be a can of soup or a special edition neck massager with a few extra features than the one she already has.

She’d been wanting to talk to Yoongi or at least reach out, but she can’t bring herself to do so. Instead she continues following their tour as they make their way to London. Every appearance she can see that he’s not doing any better than when she watched their Las Vegas concert. If anything he looks worse now than before. She figures if she reaches out to him she’d only be distracting him as he said before, and that’s the last thing she wants to do.

But the sight of him is so heartbreaking.

Yoongi wanted to go straight to Seoul after hearing the news. He didn’t care about London or anything else, he just needed to get to Hyeri. The guys managed to talk him out of it because it was simply unreasonable for him to do without postponing their first show at least. Not to mention he and Hyeri are in some undefined relationship limbo and everyone was afraid that things may not go the way Yoongi wants if he suddenly showed up there.

When they arrived in London Yoongi spent any time not on a schedule in his room. He wanted to have one of his stashed drinks, but aside from his cash and Black card, his hidden bottles of liquor were also stolen. So he sat in his room sober and distraught.

He received a message from Hyeri’s mother letting him know that they took her home from the hospital. It seems they’re unaware of Yoongi and Hyeri’s complicated status right now. However, her mother mentioned that Hyeri wanted her to tell him that because she wasn’t able to get to her phone. Through it all, she still wanted him to know she was ok. She didn’t want him to worry. His mind is a mess and once again he finds himself buying bottles of alcohol and overindulging.

This isn’t quite like before. Before he wanted to be someone else so he wouldn’t feel the pain that comes with being himself. He wanted to do whatever he could just cause he could. He wanted to become someone who lived wild and free with no feelings about anything. Now he’s just drowning in those feelings he thought he could run from.

He doesn’t sneak out like he’d done before. He’s not looking for strangers to hook up with or bars he can spend a few hours in. He just stays in his room. Drinking and regretting so many things.

Why did he have to go so far overboard with his drinking? Would it be different if he had just answered her call? Why was she out so late on her own? For every question he has, he downs another drink. He could just reach out to her, but instead he’s too ashamed. Everything is fucked and he’s done a lot of things that don’t help the situation.

The guys are relieved that now they don’t seem to have to worry about Yoongi sneaking off to bars, but he’s still drinking just as much so they only feel a small bit of relief. They try to stay near him and monitor him, but they can’t do much when he closes himself up in his room alone.

Namjoon reached out to Hyeri to see how she’s doing. She tells him what happened during the accident and that her parents have been taking care of her. Then she immediately asks about Yoongi. He looked terrible in their last interview she watched and she knows he’s not ok. Namjoon admits to her that Yoongi hasn’t been doing well. He chooses not to mention the part about the blow jobs and robbery, but he tells her how he’s been struggling.

Namjoon encourages her to reach out to Yoongi again. He’s afraid Yoongi may not be strong enough to do it himself, especially since he’s drunk most of the time. At this point Namjoon and the rest of the guys are desperate to have Yoongi and Hyeri work things out so they don’t have to continue watching the heartbreaking deterioration of their brother. Hyeri isn’t sure she’d be able to say anything else to Yoongi. She can only try so much, but if he doesn’t want to talk to her while he’s on tour, what could she do?

Instead she remains in their shared apartment being cared for by her parents until Yoongi returns from tour. The thought of him coming home and being less than pleased to see her fills her with so much anxiety. She tries her hardest to think of something she could say to get him to talk to her. Something she could do to prove to him that she loves him more than anything and she only made a stupid mistake because she’s too scared and weak to speak up for herself.

Yoongi knew that they would still be on tour when Hyeri’s drama premieres so before he left home he had a delivery scheduled for the day of the premiere. Hyeri has been doing better since her accident, but those 2 weeks haven’t been enough for her to feel comfortable going out. So she sits at home and watches the cast and crew she spent so much time with arriving on the red carpet. She hates to miss the premiere for her first big role, but the only thing that hurts worse is Yoongi being in Japan and seemingly no closer to talking to her.

Yoongi can’t talk to anyone unless he has a contractual obligation to do so. Aside from that he closes himself off and continues drowning his sadness and despair in alcohol. He hates himself. He’s spent the entire tour hating himself for various reasons. Maybe she really does deserve Kihyun, or anyone else. Someone who isn’t such a fucking mess.

He was so upset with her. He blamed her for everything that plagued him during the tour. He wanted to spend that time resenting her because he felt it’s what she deserves after she’d hurt him. He resented her for not having the confidence to speak up for herself. He resented her for making him fall so deep in love that shit like this would hurt him so much. He resented her for not giving him the chance to erase her from his mind. He resented her for finally giving him the chance but getting into a car accident and thrusting herself back to the forefront of his brain. Now he resents her for having her name show up on his phone with a message.

Yoongi forgot all about the scheduled delivery he had set up. Hyeri had no idea he set it up before he left. She thought he had sent them as his way of saying he still cares although he’s still mad at her.

She took a picture of the extravagant bouquet of roses being carried by a large stuffed cat along with her favorite snacks and a gorgeous new designer purse then sent it to him thanking him and telling him she loves him and that once again she’s sorry for everything.

Yoongi groans at the message. This time he’s not upset about her contacting him when he last told her to stop fucking him up on tour. He’s upset because he feels terribly guilty. She doesn’t know about any of the intimate encounters he had throughout the tour, but his heart hurts as if she did. He’s not mad that he forgot to cancel the delivery, he’s mad because now it makes him look like a good person. He finishes off his bottle of sake convinced that he’s definitely not a good person.

Hyeri thought Yoongi’s gift would mean he would talk to her again. But she’s gotten nothing. He didn’t respond to her message. She gave him a day thinking he’s maybe busy or tired. But still nothing. She tried to message him again but still silence.

She doesn’t get it. What does he want from her? She starts to slip into sadness again and all she wants is to be alone. Somehow she convinced her parents that she’ll be fine on her own now. Yoongi will be back soon so they can go back home. They were understandably hesitant but eventually gave in and left for Gwangju.

Hyeri was alone again and for some reason, very scared. Scared that she may lose Yoongi for good. She pours herself a glass of wine and scrolls her phone. She’d been so deeply depressed that she never took time to see what people thought of the first episode of her drama.

She should have known that would be a terrible idea. She feared seeing comments from people saying ugly and hateful things, but she didn’t expect most of the chatter surrounding the show to be about Kihyun being a bad boyfriend.

Somehow, it was brought up how Kihyun was still keeping his schedule, even going to the premiere, when he should have been with Hyeri since she’s still recovering from her car accident. More people chimed in and started putting together a timeline of everywhere Kihyun had been since her accident. People weren’t talking about the show, they were dragging Kihyun when he hadn’t done anything at all.

Her glass of wine turned into the entire bottle. That bottle turned to a second. Now she’s in tears watching low quality streams of the guys’ final show in Japan. Yoongi still looks terrible. Every time she sees him it’s worse than the last. Maybe he saw the comments about Kihyun. She knows that wouldn’t help anything if he had a reminder of her fake relationship thrown in his face.

“Fuck!” She cries fed up with it all. “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!”

She’s wine drunk and so fucking fed up. She feels just as bad as he looks and she’s at her limit. Her heart is shattered and she feels she has nothing to lose anymore. Nothing but the love of her life.

She drunkenly taps out a message on her phone then passes out in bed fully clothed. She only asked herself what would Yoongi do, and so she did it. The wine has her head swimming so she doesn’t even care what happens next. She just wants her Yoongi back.

The guys did a group live to mark the almost end of their tour. They still have their final show in Seoul, but decided to do a group live now since they fear they may not be able to once they’re home. Plus, Yoongi has been clearly bothered by the recent talk about Kihyun.

Yoongi saw it all. He had a few extra drinks and drunkenly apologized to Kihyun for him being caught up in all this bullshit. Kihyun isn’t the bad boyfriend. In Yoongi’s eyes he’s the bad boyfriend. The bad, weak, most terrible boyfriend on the planet.

Yoongi couldn’t say no to the group live. He tried to stay present in the moment, but he frequently zoned out. At times he wasn’t sure what anyone was saying. He stayed quiet unless someone spoke to him. The live was so he’d stay sober and supervised, but he’s more irritated and sad instead.

The live doesn’t go long. In the end they all retreat to their rooms, with Jimin following Yoongi to his. Jimin saw Hyeri’s message, but he knows Yoongi hasn’t. He doesn’t want Yoongi to be alone when he sees it. He doesn’t know if he’ll have a positive or negative reaction, but either way he wants to be by his side.

Jimin chats with Yoongi a bit claiming that he just wants to hang out. He isn’t sure how to bring up the message naturally, so he hopes Yoongi looks at his phone to see for himself.

They have a drink together and chat some more before Yoongi finally looks at his phone. He checks a few missed calls and clears some emails. Out of habit, he looks at Instagram and the first thing he sees is a message posted on Hyeri’s account.

Hi everyone, this is Rainbow. I want to say that I’m very grateful for everyone who has sent well wishes during my time in recovery. It truly means a lot to me.

To repay your kindness I would like to be honest with you all about something that has been weighing heavy on me for a while in hopes that it causes no more pain for those I care about.

Yoo Kihyun is a wonderful person with a kind heart and incredible talent. He has become a great friend to me, but that’s all he ever has been. I’m sorry that you all were led to believe that Kihyun and I were engaged in a romantic relationship when we have only ever been friends. I have realized that my inaction has caused pain to some who were hurt by this lie, but I will do anything I can to make things right.

I’m sorry to all of my fans and I ask your forgiveness. I promise to work hard to be someone deserving of your love.

I’m resting well and can’t wait to see you all again. Please be healthy. I love you.

🌈Rainbow

Yoongi stares at his phone unsure of what he’s seeing. He reads the message a second time, then tries to determine what any of this means. He can’t be sure, but he feels like she was talking to him directly. Why did she do this now? Did she make this statement on her own? In one of the many ignored texts from her she did mention that she tried to get the company to tell the truth but they wanted to wait until after the show’s premiere. Is that why she’s doing this now?

“Hyung,” Jimin says softly. “For what it’s worth, everyone is saying she didn’t talk to JJS before posting that.”

“She didn’t?” Yoongi asks in disbelief. “Are you sure?”

“I guess you could ask her when we get home tomorrow.”

Yoongi nods though he’s not sure he wants to go home at all. Reading her letter has done nothing but make him feel worse than he already does. He knows that couldn’t have been easy for her to do, and if she finally spoke up for herself, then all of the things he had done have just become a million times heavier. Despite wanting to run far away, he can’t do anything about their flight tomorrow that will see him returning home in the afternoon. Home to Hyeri.

Hyeri wakes up with a wine hangover and a ton of missed calls and messages. She thought it was all a dream, but looking at her phone proves it wasn’t. Kihyun is praising and thanking her for putting the truth out there. He also shared the notice he put on his account that confirmed everything she said and apologized again for misleading fans.

Her friends and family are proud of her, knowing this has all been taking a toll on her, although none of them know just how much her relationship with Yoongi has seemed to deteriorate. His family seems unaware as well when she reads the messages from them offering their support. It’s not until this moment that she remembers Yoongi will be home this afternoon.

What would he say when he comes home and sees her there? Will he be mad? Will he make her leave? Will he at least speak to her? Her mind is spinning with questions, but that becomes the least of her problems.

Her manager called to let her know that he was going to pick her up for an emergency meeting with the company. She wanted to get out of it. She tried to, but she had no choice. She washed up and left when her manager arrived ready to face the consequences of her drunken actions.

The meeting is held with Hyeri, her manager, the PR team for JJS, and someone from HR. She’s nervous and almost certain that she’s about to get dropped from her agency.

Her manager starts by reciting some bullshit company rules that she’s in no mood to listen to. He reminds her that she has to consult with them before putting out any statements to ensure everyone is on the same page. That pisses her off. They’ve done nothing but tell her what statements they were going to put out leaving her with no choice. That’s why she’s in this shit in the first place and that’s why she’s fed up.

“I can’t keep living a lie,” she says softly. “I told you guys what the truth was but you already made up your minds that you would keep rolling with this lie that you forced me and Kihyun into. Where is he anyway? Did you guys talk to him already?”

“We have a separate meeting scheduled with him,” the PR lead says.

“Why?” Hyeri’s voice rises a notch. “Why won’t you ever discuss things with us together? Is it because you think I’ll roll over and do whatever you say, unlike him who will fight back? You want me to agree to what you want then convince him to do the same?”

“We told you what the plan was, you only needed to let us execute it.”

“I’m not waiting!” She shouts. “You wanted to wait weeks after the show to tell the truth and then you wanted to spin it like we broke up. Do you know what you’re doing to us by doing that? Do you even care??”

“Hyeri,” her manager tries to get her to calm down.

“No!” She retaliates feeling the burn of her frustration come boiling over. “Did you even see the witch hunt against Kihyun? And for what?! A few extra viewers? Did you notice no one is talking about the fucking show because they’re so concerned about whether Kihyun is a good boyfriend or not? This lie is hurting him. It’s hurting me. And it’s hurting my actual fucking boyfriend who I’m not even sure is even my boyfriend anymore! I’m not waiting around for you guys to say something when this shouldn’t even be happening in the first place!”

“Hyeri please,” her manager says trying to calm her down.

“Do you guys even care about me?” Her tears begin flowing endlessly and she can’t control her emotions any longer. “Why was it so bad for me to admit to dating Yoongi, but telling a lie is better?” Her cries turn to full sobs and she’s clutching her chest. All of this pain for what? Losing the love of her life for what? “I don’t care what you decide to do, but I’m not going to lie to anyone any longer.”

[btsydtrash]

Daydream

Childhood sweethearts Hoseok x YN

(Author's note: This ended nicely however I could be tempted to write additons to it. I initially wanted this to be a sweethearts-to-enemies story but I like how it feels at this point. Also, this is my debut project to get back into writing lol. Please, don't kill me for making a whole new one-shot, but I wanted to grease my wheels again.)

In this story, Hoseok and YN are minors so there's no sexual content at all(!!) but they do have a lil chaste kissy kiss. Maybe I could do a time-skip for when they're in college or whatever, but that's only if ya'll want it lol!

Summer, 2004

“Hey, you know you aren’t supposed to do it that way, right?”

Hoseok glances up, eyes naturally squinting as the sun shines in his eyes. He puts up his hands, sticky with ice-cream from his snack, to shield his eyes. In front of him stands an equally-sticky girl. Her cheeks are covered in green ice-cream and her t-shirt has some melted chocolate all over the front. She’s missing a front tooth, clear from where she’s smiling brightly at him, and she seems a little sweaty, her hair sticking to her forehead in some places. Hoseok understands - it’s July, dead in the middle of summer time in Gwangju. It might as well be hell on Earth. 

Hoseok tilts his head to the side and his expression must show confusion as the girl scoffs. “That!”

She gestures to the sandcastle he was making in the sandbox.

“It’s a castle.” He murmurs.

She nods. “I know, I’m not a dummy.”

“So, what?”

She sighs and crouches down. “The poles aren’t high enough and the moat shouldn’t be this way.”

“But it’s my castle,” he says, pouting. “I want it to look like this.”

He’s lying, of course. He isn’t good with his hands but the girl teasing about his castle is making his upset. Who does she think she is?

The girl takes a second to look at his expression before she smiles, and it doesn’t hold any malice in it - only amusement. “Liar, liar, pants on fire.”

His cheeks burn, and it has nothing to do with the sun this time.

“Whatever,” he grumbles, moving to stand. “Do what you want.”

He moves to leave, no longer wanting to be around this stranger. He scans the playground to look for his dad, but he can’t spot him. No matter, he thinks. I’ll just find my own way home, like usual.

A hand on his wrist stalls his movements. “Hey, don’t go.”

He looks back at the girl and she looks chastised. She continues, “Shall we do it together? Your style and my style mixed together?”

He thinks for a moment before he nods, tentatively. “Okay.”

And that was the beginning.

Sometimes Hoseok thinks back to that day, their first meeting, and wonders if it was serendipity or an omen. Either way, he wouldn’t have changed it for a thing.

—

8 years later

“YAH! Jung Hoseok!”

Hoseok jerks at the familiar shrill sound of his best friend’s voice. He glances to the left from where he’s laying on the roof, needing a brief moment of silence and peace before his Korean history class, to see you. In your left hand, an empty bread wrapper. In your right hand, his backpack.

Hoseok sits up. “Oh, you found it?”

You glower at him, darkly. “You mean the bread I had been saving since this morning to eat during my break time? Yes. I found it.”

He smiles, small but real, and moves to his feet, throwing his arm over your lithe shoulders. “It was delicious.”

You elbow him in his stomach, making him wince. “You owe me after school.”

He takes his backpack out of your hand and throws it over his shoulder. “Yes, ma’am.”

“I mean it, Hobi,” you warn, trailing behind him. He grabs your shoulder and pulls you under his arm, leading you down the corridor to your shared class, listening to you scold him the entire time.

His heart clenches at the nickname. Only you call him that. And it makes him feel amazing every time. You made it in elementary school, randomly whispering it in his ear, and he’s still embarrassed to say he squealed in bed that night, thinking you had something special only for him.

Yes, yes. He has a crush on you. A huge one, actually. You are his first and only love. And, along with it, the literal bane of his existence. This is because you won’t leave him alone, no matter what he does. 

He has always been an underachiever at school. You, on the other hand, are a shining star, academically. You always score first or second in your year group, you are the class president and you are a member of four different teams. That hadn’t always been true though.

In elementary school, you had gotten into your fair share of fights for him. Hoseok had been skinny and poor, and he looked pitiful most days. The other boys would exclude or tease him, for being so close to you - a girl. They would call him gay or say he had mental instability. Then, you would come out and curse and scold them until they cried. One time, you even kicked a boy so hard in his face, you had broken his front tooth. You both got into so much trouble that day, but it remains his favorite memory of his childhood. The two of you, sitting with your arms raised in the principal’s office, covered in cuts and bruises, messy hair and dirt rubbed all over your clothes from the ensuing fight. You had glanced over at him and given him a private smile that said ‘I don’t regret a thing’, and he returned it with his own. ‘I’d do anything for you.’ He hoped you understood it then, and remember it as fondly as he does now. 

The only things Hoseok can do well are sports, and that’s because he has a hard-head. You come to all of his games, no matter where or when they are, even shirking your other responsibilities to support him. And, this just makes him love you that much more.

He feels like you value him. You support him. You show him so much love that it makes him squirm.

As someone who has been shown none of those things from his family, it was overwhelming at first. He tried to push his feelings away, smother them, kill them even, but it never worked. The feelings would build and build and build until he felt physically sick from the weight of them. At 13, he resigned himself to loving you for as long as he lived, but he knew nothing could come from it.

You were just too lovely for a loser like him.

So, he let himself be your best friend - the bestest best friend he could be. And, it has been a pleasant near-decade of friendship, for the most part.

Until now.

You seemed to have a crush yourself.

And, it was killing him inside.

He didn’t know who, but you had been acting weird these last few months. You did your makeup, changed your hair, stopped wearing glasses. All the cute things he thought were so perfect about you, you were steadily erasing and replacing with someone else. He still thought you were beautiful - actually, it’s been hard to even look you in your eyes - but knowing it was for some other idiot was driving him crazy.

He spends the class stealing glances at the side of your face, wondering how pretty you would be in a few years time. He wonders if he’ll be by your side to see what kind of butterfly you would turn into at that time, too. Or, maybe he will be replaced by someone else. Someone who could actually stand by your side with pride.

—

“Hobi,” you whisper into his ears. He woke up a while ago, but he keeps his eyes closed in order to feel you this close to him. His heart is racing in his chest and he feels queasy in the best way possible. “You shouldn’t sleep here.”

He grumbles a little and you move your hand to pat his chest comfortingly. “It’s cold, Hobi. Wake up and come inside.”

He had developed this habit of waiting outside of your apartment complex on one of the benches when he doesn’t want to go back home. Your parents are the kindest people on Earth, and they always let him in. They give him food, let his shower and even sleep on the couch a couple of times. He’s still a kid, so they probably think he’s pathetic but some days, he thinks he would do anything to stay out of his house. 

It just so happens that he loves being at your house. It’s so warm - just like you.

He wishes he could stay in this bubble for longer, pretending to be asleep so you’ll touch him all tenderly as you are doing. But, it’s cold, and he doesn’t want you to get sick, so he holds all his yearning in his chest and blinks open an eye.

“There you are,” you croon, softly, and then there you go, moving your hand away. He can barely catch the disappointment from appearing on his face. “Let’s go inside, hm?”

And, he trails behind you, like he always does.

A happy, stupid fool.

—

The crush you had on whoever was getting worse, and it was getting harder for him to hold back his frustration each time you gazed longingly out of the window or twisted the necklace he gave you for your thirteenth birthday around your fingers, thinking so deeply that your forehead creased.

He pushes his fingers between your brows to smoothen out the wrinkles and you blink back into clarity.

“Sorry, I was just-”

“Distracted,” he grumbles, pushing his egg-fried rice around on his place. He has no appetite, thinking of all the different guys this fucker could be.

You give him a small smile and go back to your own meal.

God, you were so pretty. Your hair falls into your face a little, so he pushes it behind your ear easily. His fingers barely touch your cheek but he feels electricity zing through his body at the small contact. He wants to cup your soft cheek in his hand, feel how warm your skin is for real, but he settles on just… pushing your hair back and turning his eyes to his plate.

He doesn’t see how red your cheeks burn as he looks away.

—

“YN, you should just tell him,” your friend, Kyunghee… (Kyeonghae? Kyeongmi?) says, and her tone of voice makes Hoseok freeze in his tracks. The girls are in the corridor outside of the girls’ bathroom, and he is going to meet you to walk you to your shared fourth period class. But, something about what your friend is saying makes a pit of anxiety open up in his stomach.

He stands with his back to the wall, hidden from sight, but within hearing distance. He knows it’s wrong but Hoseok can’t help himself. It’s like he’s dying to know but can’t bear the truth either.

“I don’t know…”

You sound so unsure, so nervous, so different from what he knows you to be like, that it makes him sick.

“What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

So, this is what you were talking about. Your crush. He bites his lip so hard that he can taste blood.

“I don’t know what I would do,” you continue on, and it sounds like you are seconds away from crying. Crying over some fucker who isn’t him. His fists clench by his side and he realized that his eyes, too, are stinging.

“Isn’t it better to tell him and get it off your chest?” Your other friend, Sana (Sara? Suha?) says, and he wants to put her head through the wall.

No. It wouldn’t be better. She shouldn’t say anything to anyone about any feelings she may or may not have!

“I think…” You pause, and he holds his breath. “I think I’m in love with him.”

And just like that, Hoseok feels part of himself die right then and there.

—

He doesn’t disappear like he wants to. He diligently walks you to your fourth period class, he sits beside you as he always does, he stares ahead with an intensity so strong that the teacher asks him if he’s alright three different times.

But, he doesn’t speak to you.

In fact, he doesn’t even look at you.

And, he can tell he’s hurting you. however, he can’t help it.

You hurt him first.

Yes, he knows you didn’t mean to. And he knows you probably can’t help how you feel either. But he’s hurting inside, so badly that he thinks he might suffocate. As soon as his last class lets out, he’s rushing out of his seat, out of the classroom and he’s walking back home at a pace so fast, he doesn’t realize his thighs are rubbed raw until he takes a shower later that night before bed.

It’s only when he knows he’s alone, when his dad is gone doing only God knows what, that he finally lets himself cry. 

And he cries all night, even in his sleep, over you.

—

Your relationship becomes strained after that.

You notice it almost immediately. Hoseok stops waiting for you after class, he stops miraculously bumping into your in the corridors, he stops smiling at you through the windows of the class when he takes bathroom breaks.

Instead, there seems to be a wall of ice between the two of you, and you have no idea where it came from.

You try to corner him, to confront him about it, because you deserve an explanation, damn it, but he just weasels his way out of it by hooking onto someone else’s backpack and claiming to be meeting them for dinner or outpacing you with his stupidly long legs.

And, as much as it pains you to say it, you can’t just go to his apartment because you don’t know where he lives.

Over a decade of friendship and he has never invited you over to his place.

You aren’t even sure which area he lives in, even though you both had the bus together every afternoon after school since you were thirteen.

He has always been very private about his life, you wanted to respect his wishes, even if it felt like he didn’t trust you. You try not to personalize it - to not make it about you, but it had been hard, especially considering how open you are with him about everything.

Well, almost everything.

Still, this weirdness has to stop, and soon.

You watch Hobi walk out onto the baseball field in his team uniform. While you were inside studying, Hobi was outside being the shining star of your school’s sports’ team. He’s always been talented with his body and athletics, even if he constantly talked down on his skills. You knew he would be a great fit for the baseball and basketball team, so when you pushed him to go try-out, you knew he would shine. And you were right.

He doesn’t look back up to the window like he usually did to smile and wink at you, and it makes your lips draw down in a deep frown.

Did you do something to him? Did you upset him somehow?

Or… Did he find out?

You blanche at the thought.

But, you had been so careful. He couldn’t know.

Nervously, you gnaw at your thumb nail and feel your forehead furrow in a deep frown. You didn’t know how you could salvage this situation with your childhood best friend, but you know you couldn’t stand this uncomfortable stiffness between the two of you anymore.

Hours later, Hobi changes into his sneakers and tosses his school shoes into his locker. He closes the locker to see you standing directly to his right and it nearly scares the life out of him.

“Fuc- YN! Don’t do that,” he scolds, clutching his hand over his racing heart.

On the other hand, your heart is racing for a different reason. Seeing him look at you for the first time in weeks is making you incredibly nervous. So, you steel your expression and growl, “Follow me.”

“YN…”

You stall on your heel and glare over your shoulder. “Do not piss me off. Follow. Me. Hoseok.”

Fearfully, Hoseok clamps his mouth shut and faithfully trails behind you until you reach the park near your school. You walk far into the park, until you can just barely see the street, and turn to face him.

“Spill,” you command.

He avoids your eyes and shoves his hands in his pocket. “Dunno what you’re talking about.”

“Do I look stupid to you?”

He gives you a brief look that reads, Yeah, kinda, dummy, before he returns his eyes to the space behind you.

You approach him but he takes one small step back, and that’s enough to stab at your heart.

“Hobi… Did I do something to you?”

He flinches and swallows, his expression growing pained for a moment before smoothing out into nothingness again.

“No,” he replies. “I just- This is a bit… I just want to make new friends.”

It all tumbles out at the end, like a flood of water that he can’t hold back, and if you felt hurt before, now it feels like he’s punched a hole in your chest.

“I never stopped you from making friends, Hobi,” you mutter, eyes stinging. “Did I?”

You really can’t be sure.

His lips pucker, strangely, like he’s sucking on something sour. Finally, he admits, “A little…”

“How?”

You gasp a little, your throat tight and thick, and your eyes are practically on fire.

“You… YN, you and I are always together,” he explains. He starts pacing then, as if he can’t keep himself still. “It’s me and it’s you, and it’s us. Nobody can come between that. So, of course I never made friends. Nobody wanted to talk to me or be around me, and I never needed anyone else. But now… I just feel like we don’t need to be… We should… I need… I need space, dummy.”

Biting down on what you wanted to say, you let out a shuddering breath and nod. “I understand.”

But the voice doesn’t sound like yours anymore. It’s all garbled and wet and weird.

Hoseok seems to notice too because he stops pacing instantly.

“YN…?”

You glance up and he takes a shocked step back before wrapping his arms around your shoulders and pulling you in close. You are pressed tightly against his chest and all you can see or smell is him.

“I didn’t mean it, don’t cry,” he whispers all at once. “I was being mean. I’m so sorry. Please, don’t cry.”

He’s whispering things over and over again, but you can’t really hear anything over the sound of his racing heartbeat. It’s so loud, it almost deafens you. Hoseok sits you both down on a bench and wraps you up nice and tight, swaying from side to side and patting your back until all the choked sobs have worked their way out.

He wipes your face with his sleeve, waving off your worries of mascara stains. “I’ve got a washing machine, dummy.”

You giggle, but it still sounds so wet and inhuman that it makes you both grimace.

“Can I tell you the truth, YN?

You peer up at him through wet lashes, but he isn’t looking at you. He’s staring ahead, and his side profile is so handsome, it takes your breath away. He’s always been so pretty to you.

“The reason I can’t be around you anymore is because I fucked up,” he admits, running a hand through his hair. It surprises you deeply as Hoseok rarely ever swears around you. He seems frustrated, nervous and scared. “I… I promised we would always be together, right?”

You nod.

“We both promised, right?”

You nod again.

He turns to look at you this time, and now he’s the one with watery eyes and flushed cheeks. “I don’t want to be your friend anymore.”

He takes in a deep, shaky breath. “I haven’t for a long time, YN.”

“So…”

“I’m in love with you,” he says in a quiet whisper. The wind carries his words to your ears so delicately that it almost feels as if you imagined it. You stare, dumbly, at him while his ears pink under your gaze. He shrinks on himself and bites his bottom lip. “I told you I fucked up.”

“Then I think I fucked up too,” you admit after a long pause. You reach for his face, holding his cheeks between your shaky palms. “I’ve been in love with you since I was twelve.”

His eyes widen until they are incredibly large, and then he’s kissing you. It isn’t hot and angry and wild like you had dreamed. It isn’t soft and chaste like you read about in books. It isn’t sloppy and wet like the girls told you it could be.

It’s warm and firm, like Hoseok always has been. He holds the back of your neck in his hand and moves his other hand to rest on your hip lightly. Hoseok pulls back to press his nose against yours and then pecks you twice on your lips, eyes fluttering closed. Then, he rests his forehead against your own and the two of you just… wait.

“I’m not dreaming, am I?”

You let out a giggle then, and shake your head, pulling back slightly. “Not at all, dummy.”

*end*

[binnieaddict]

~Starboy is a work of my own mind~

Summary: you grew up in a small town in Malaysia, where the people were as beautiful as the country. You had a small group of friends who you graduated with and became successful in your studies. There was a boy you grew up with and you had the biggest crush on him, but he left shortly after summer break and nobody knew where he went. After you’d graduated college, you landed a huge opportunity as a choreographer for one of the biggest K-pop company’s JYPE….and you weren’t prepared for what was next.

|Warnings| smut , unprotected p in v, oral, angst, rough, biting, scratching, minors dni.

Word count: 3.3k

Beep beep beep

You subconsciously lift your hand up, fumbling around and wacking your hand into your nightstand trying to silence your alarm clock. As you fumbled around the beeping got louder, You let out a hmph when you eventually decided it was better to sit up and turn it off. You stretched, releasing all the sleepiness trapped in your muscles. Looking over at the alarm clock you’d just silenced, you smiled. Despite it being 3 am, you were excited. It’s your first day as a choreographer for one of the biggest K-pop labels in South Korea. JYP Entertainment, home of groups like Twice, Got7, Day6, and StrayKids. A group thats been out for about 6 years. You’d been choreographing and releasing your dances online through TikTok and instagram, receiving praise and thousands of followers. You’d never thought you would become known among the most powerful and talented dancers in the industry. You’d also never imagined the company would reach out and extend a job offer, but you most definitely took the opportunity in a heart beat. As you slide out of bed and make your way to the bathroom, you grab a pair of spandex leggings and a loose fitting tee. A shower was the first thing you wanted to do. You turn the handle over to hot. You’d never been much of a fan of cold showers…and if there isn’t steam bellowing out, you weren’t getting in. The water fell against your light skin you were blessed with. You lathered your peony scented body wash and began washing your body, reaching every crevice and spot you passively could. Rubbing out your muscles as you did and it felt so wonderful. Being a dancer, you found your muscles were sore after hours of practice and perfection. Sometimes you would practice for 6-7 hours so you always made sure to have those self care days whenever you could. After rinsing off your body you lathered your lavender body scrub, exfoliating your skin. Turning off the shower, you grabbed your towel and dried yourself off before slipping into your clothes you’d picked out previously. The black leggings hugged your body in the most perfect ways. The white tee was oversized and hung to your mid thigh, you decided to tie it into a small knot behind your back. You pulled your black medium length hair into a messy bun leaving two strands down by your ears. Your apartment wasn’t too big, and you were so grateful to Mrs. Choi for letting you rent on such a short notice. You’d only found out 3 weeks ago that you would be moving to Korea for this job, and she was very understanding and worked with you closely. Her husband and herself showed you around the beautiful city of Seoul and surrounding districts like Busan, Gwangju, and even took you Ilsan. Your apartment was a plethora of things you loved, the walls were a warm eggshell white, adorned with Malaysian tapestries, reminding you of home. You reminisced on the days of your early years often, even of the days in high school. You slid on your black pumas and grabbed your canvas bag before filling up your water bottle and making your way to the door. “Today’s the day.” You said, your voice steady and determined. You made your way through the silent streets of Seoul. You felt a cool breeze against your body as you walked. You wouldn’t have to walk very long, the JYP building wasn’t too far from your apartment. From what you’d seen in the first few nights being here, the night was quiet, and safe. You could walk out of your house at 3 am and not have to worry if someone would be following you. You were fishing through your canvas bag for your earbuds, wanting to listen to some music on your commute to work. That honestly felt strange to say, work. Your first day of work. Repeating it in your mind made you smile brightly. You felt so proud of yourself, you knew your dad would have been so proud of you. Since he passed you made it your mission to bring you mother happiness and joy. And you were doing just that. The sky was still full of stars, the streetlights shining brightly. You plugged in your earbuds, and pressing shuffle on your playlist.

Starboy- The Weekend, Daft Punk

The lyrics coursing through your mind as you walked. The feeling music brought you wasn’t explainable, the more you tried to explain it, the crazier you looked to people. You remember the story your mom had told you since you were in grade school, of you dancing to music before you learned to speak. It warmed your heart to know you were passionate even as a kid.You finally made it to the street where JYP’s building sat nestled among shops and restaurants. The occasional car drove past you as you made your way down the street. It wasn’t unusual to see a van or truck passing by as well. The building was as beautiful as you’d seen in the newsletters and papers. The doors were cool to the touch as you pulled the right side open, walking in to the beautifully lit interior. “Anyeonghaseyo.” You said to the receptionist behind the counter, removing your earbuds swiftly. She looked startled jumping up and bowing quickly. “Anyeonghaseyo, Ms. Y/n.” She stood upright just as quickly. “Welcome to JYP Entertainment.”she said coming from behind the counter to greet you. “Thank you for the warm welcome, it’s an honor to be here.” You added, clearly smiling through your mask. “Please, have a seat, I will let them know you are here.” She shuffles her way back behind the counter and dials on the landline. You take the moment to look around, the welcome desk was polished, the windows were cleaned perfectly and the floors were a nice marbled brown color. You sat down in one of the chairs, taking in the rest of the reception area. You hadn’t realized someone was walking up to you until he extended his hand. “O-oh I’m so sorry.” You gushed, standing up quickly accepting his hand. “Hello, welcome to JYP Entertainment, it’s great to have you on board. You must be Y/N.” The guy says. You bow your head, releasing his hand. “Thank you so much, yes, I’m Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you…?” You trail off, not knowing his name, hoping he would fill you in. But he didn’t, what made matters worse is he had a face mask on too. So you couldn’t determine who he was behind his mask. “Well, let’s get you set up in the practice room, the boys will be arriving soon.” He said, motioning for you to follow him. You grabbed your canvas bag and followed suit. He lead you down the hallway and the noises of phones ringing and computers humming hit you like a truck. It seemed to be a busy company. Well duh y/n. You mentally slapped yourself. As he lead you through the offices and down a flight of stairs, you couldn’t help but feel excited. You admired the artists pictures on the walls, signifying their achievements and some promotional posters. Even catching a few glimpses of members of groups in person already getting ready to put in work. You finally made it to the practice room where the manager turned and raised his arms as if saying this is it, this is what you’ve been waiting for. The manager left you after saying the boys would arrive one after the other, so you would have 1 on 1 time with each member to get to know them as dancers and artists. You walked over to the stereo equipment and get everything set up. As you set the playlist for your warm ups you missed the sound of the dance studios door opening. You started doing your stretches, making sure to stretch each muscle, isolating each area to ensure they were ready to dance. You were startled by someone clearing their throat. You snapped your head up and locked eyes with a familiar face. You recognized him immediately, and he recognized you too. A shocked expression shared between the two of you. “Long time no see…Y/N.”

Hearing your name fall out of his lips of honey startled you more. “Jisung…” you whispered as you stood up. A whirlwind of memories flooding your mind. You fought the urge to panic, remembering the feelings you’d had for him…you shoved them from your head. Also remembering how he left without word. A bitterness spreading on your tongue. “It has been a very long time.” You said, finally facing him. You stood there in front of each other, who knew you would find him…let alone be teaching him a dance you choreographed. “Why are you here?” You asked, a bit of venom seeping through your words. He looked a bit taken aback, shrugged his shoulders and smiled. God that smile…”Well for starters, I’m in Stray Kids, and I’m here to learn the choreography for our new song.” He said stepping forward. “Why are you here?” He said. His eyes traveling up and down your frame. “I- i uh I’m the new choreographer.” You said simply, not noticing how close he’d gotten. You mentally shook yourself and the look in his eyes didnt help. “Okay, you’re here to learn right? Then let’s get started.” You started teaching him step by step first, without the music. You had to admit, he was quite the dancer. His charisma was even better than when you were in school. He’d become even more handsome too. The high school heart throb…YOUR high school heart throb. You shook the thoughts from your mind once again. “Come on, take five, grab some water and well run it again.” You said, breathing heavy, looking at Jisung. His hair hanging, plastered on his forehead from sweat. His shirt clinging to certain parts of his chest. Little to be known he was watching you the whole time, the way your body moved as you danced, and to be honest it turned him on. He fought every urge in his body. You grabbed your water bottle and took a few sips. “So, how have you been Y/n?” He asked, his breathing heavy but steady. “Listen…” you began “…not to be rude, Jisung, But you don’t have the right to ask me how I have been. You disappeared. Without a word and had everyone worried…you left us, your friends and never looked back.” You said, tears threatening your vision. The anger boiled up inside of you. He took a breath as if he was going to speak but you beat him to the punch. “You could’ve said something you know? Your mom didn’t answer my texts…she won’t talk to any of us. We assumed you’d left home and forgotten about all of us.” You paused, tears streaming down your face but you didn’t care as you turned to face him. “That you had forgotten about me. Jisung, don’t you get it? I was so worried about you and you couldn’t give a fuck to say ‘Hey, sorry I left out of nowhere I really don’t care about you guys and I went to join a K-pop group.’ …Jisung i fucking cried every night.” You were sobbing at this point. The look on his face was nothing short of concern and sadness. He rushed forward, grabbing hold of you and pulling you into his arms. “Y/n…I’m so sorry…I couldn’t say anything.” He whispered against your neck. Stroking your hair as you cried into his shoulder. “Jisung…I loved you for so long…and you just left…” you whispered. Holding him closer to you. “You what…?” He asked pulling away from you.

His face blank, but his eyes were wide. “You heard me…” you said, shying away from him. Picking up your water bottle, wiping your eyes. “No, Y/N say it…again.” His voice got deeper as his head hung looking at the ground. “I said I loved you…” you whispered. The moment it fell from your lips Jisung rushed forwards taking your chin in his hand. He looked you in your swollen eyes and his own tears spilt over. Without anymore words your lips collided. The emotions from years of torment and being apart crashing down over you. Your tongues danced around each others, begging for more. You both pulled away, faces hot and breathless. “I’m so sorry…I’m sorry I left.” His voice quivering. He brushed your hair from your forehead, planting a small kiss there. “Please. Let me show you how sorry I am Y/N.” He pleaded. You were shocked at what was coming out of his mouth. “Jisung…what are you saying?” You questioned, your stomach flipping. His eyes pleaded with yours, in fact begging. “Let me show you…will you trust me?” He whispered, his hands finding your hips. You nodded slowly, feeling your core heat. With a swift motion he laid you on the practice room floor, his body between your legs. You felt his hands graze your thighs, rubbing them up and down, whispering sweet nothings. “You’re just as beautiful as I remember.” His braid shoulders expanse as he reached to cup your breast as he leaned in to kiss you. You hummed in nervousness as he massaged it softly. Your back arching as you felt your pussy getting wetter by the second. You reached your hands up pulling his face closer, your lips colliding with each other. His lips grazing yours, his grip tightening on your breasts, squeezing them which earned a moan from you. You felt yourself yearning to feel him inside you. “Please…” you whimpered begging with your eyes. “Please what baby?” His voice just barely above a whisper. “I need you.” You said, reaching your hands up into his shirt, feeling his body. His eyes fluttered shit for a moment. “You sure? Are you sure you want this?” He taunted, enjoying your flustered state. You knew he found this enjoyable, but he wanted you more than you even imagined. “Just fuck me already.” You groaned.

He found the hem of your leggings and pulled them down agonizingly slow, knowing you would squirm. And you did just that. “Fuck…look at how beautiful you are.” He said, tossing your leggings to the side, kissing the inside of your thighs. He dragged his tongue along the sensitive meat on your thigh. Sending shivers through your body. His tongue reached your panties, he paused, his head not moving but his eyes looking up at your erotic state. He took your underwear in his teeth, tugging at them as you lifted your ass up for him to slide them off. His breath caught as he stared at the sight before him, you instinctively shut your legs, blushing wildly. He put his hands between your knees forcing them open. “No.” He started breathlessly . “jangan sembunyikan dari saya sayang saya…” he leaned down kissing your abdomen, leaving little trails all the way down to the lips of your pussy. He licked a strip of your juices dripping out of you. His tongue shoveled deeper as you moaned. Your body reacting to each movement. “You taste so sweet.” He groaned, his mouth latching onto your sensitive bud, sucking as he inserted a finger inside of you. Your eyes closed as you threw your head back moaning from the warmth and feeling of his mouth against you. He pushed his finger in and out slowly at first, before lapping at your pussy, loving the sweet sounds of approval you gave. He slipped another finger inside as he picked up his pace, his tongue moving faster against your clit. You could barely breathe with how fucking good he was eating you. “F-fuck…Jisung oh my god.” Your voice broken up in moans. “Tell me how much you want it…tell me baby.” His voice vibrating against your pussy. You felt your insides tightening, pulsating against his fingers as her curved them just right. “Nnghh…fuck please. I’m gonna cum please.” You begged, moaning louder, bucking your hips agains his tongue earning a deeper groan from him. “Give it to me.” He said before you started writhing, your whole body shaking as your juices flows out, your pussy contracting against his fingers and he lapped up all your juices. He took one last lick before getting up and bringing his fingers to your lips. “Clean it up.” The tone of control was intense and ridged in his voice. His eyes hooded over as you took his fingers in your mouth, sucking them clean.

He stood up taking his sweat pants off, and your mouth watered at the sight before you. The print of his cock threatening his boxers. He pulled them off and it sprang free, precum dripping from his tip. He dropped to his knees and positioned himself between your legs again, rubbing his cock against your pussy. “You ready Y/N?” He whispered, his cock pressing against your entrance. You pushed yourself onto his cock, his groan echoing through the room. “Fuck…baby…you’re so damn tight.” He said pushing himself further into you as you moaned in pleasurable pain. His cock burying itself inside your walls. The pain subsided as he started moving. His body hovering over yours as he laid his face into your neck. His thrusts getting deeper and deeper as he whimpered. His sweet moans vibrated against your neck as the sounds of yours grew. “H-holy fuck…” you cried out, your nails digging into his back as he thrusted into you faster then before. The sound of skin slapping against each other echoed with sweet whimpers and moaning. The room filled with erotic sounds. He found himself licking your neck, before biting down softly earning a gasp as he pulled out and slammed back into you. “Fuck…don’t stop please Jisung.” Tears pricking your eyes as you felt your climax nearing again. He growled in response as he sat up pushing your legs over your shoulder holding them with one hand baring your ass upwards. The new sensation of him holding you this way felt amazing and you wanted more. He plowed into your pussy as you begged and whimpered. “Fuck…fuck Jisung I’m gonna-“ before you could finish your pussy was vacated. The cold air filling you up as he yanked you up and forcing you against the mirrors lining the walls. He took your right leg and held it up in one of his arms. Your face is was pressed against the glass, fogging it up as he slammed his cock back into you. He enjoyed this, seeing you disheveled and the erotic look on your face. “See, I told you, I’m sorry baby.” He groaned against your ear. You threw your head back against him as your eyes rolled back. He hit a spot you’d never felt before and damn it felt good. Your pussy started contracting against him again, without warning you felt a liquid forcing its way out. Your whole body shaking as he kept thrusting into you. “Fuck fuck oh my god.” You cried out, the over stimulation from whatever was happening sending him over the edge as he thrusted into you one last time. His cum filled you up, it’s warmth radiating inside of you.

You both had gotten dressed and were sitting there, cleaning up the liquids from the mirrors and floor. “Jesus Christ Y/N…” Jisung chuckled, reaching his arms around your waist hugging you from behind. “Hey don’t blame me…you’re the one that made me do it star boy.” You relished in the hug.

A/N: Yeah I hope yall enjoyed this because holy shit I struggled.

Taglist: @usoinked @dwarvenagenda

[your--isgayrights]

Hi idk if anyone has asked this before but do you think there are thematic implications to Sangah liking works from Murakami Haruki, Raymond Carver, Han Kang.

Yeah, I'm not super familiar with all of the authors myself but I did some basic research while writing Wall fic so I have an opinion about this. First of all, the internationality of these picks shows YSA is well read, but this different kind of well read than KDJ. Her interest in international literature is somewhat connected to her backstory of being from a richer family that wanted to marry her off in my mind bc international language education is somewhat status/wealth associated in modern South Korea. Second of all the kinds of authors she picks out are the type who write singular, artistic works that tend to start from a point of realism and make a comment about the characters' navigation of Society. So the type of reading she's doing isn't sitting down and obsessively following a 3000 chapter webnovel that can only exist through the conglomeration of niche trope after niche trope to be completely understood. I see her as a girlie who like. Will check the new York times best seller list and just buy or check out a new book to read if she hears good things. So this authors of singular works and short stories being her favorite shows she doesn't really follow extensive Series, she's not the type who needs constant updates to keep on living lol. She's the type who occasionally read novels for literature classes which graduated to occasionally reading novels in her free time. Not saying that she reads popular novels just to seem cultured like mister 'art of war on my desk' but I think she is someone who can see opening a book like stumbling upon a television program that just happens to be on you know it's not a major time commitment or something that will rewire her brain and then she'll have thoughts about language use and literary opinions you know.

Then the one author I'm more familiar with is Han Kang and I actually didn't remember her being listed by YSA but you're probably right and I just forgot bc I know Han Kang from reading the Vegetarian more than I know her from being referenced in ORV I guess lol. Han Kang is a popular modern author in South Korea who has both been somewhat of an icon for feminism (I think?) And is definitely a representative of the Trauma literature movement. She grew up in Gwangju and lived through the aftermath of the Gwangju uprising (the people suffered violent oppression and censorship under leadership at the time) and in an interview she once described herself as someone who writes to ask questions instead of answer them. The Vegetarian is an example of a work of hers that starts off very ingrained in reality and slowly becomes surreal in a way that could still exist in the real world but could be interpreted as containing fantasy elements. I think it's interesting to me to draw parallels to YSA here bc the vegetarian is a story about a traumatized woman being controlled and used by other people. Spoilers for the vegetarian I guess but the main character decides to be vegetarian one day without a 'societally acceptable' reason and this 'embarrasses' the people around her so much that they try to force her to change. After she is abused by her husband, father, and brother in law, this experience is held parallel to something she experienced as a child, when she was friends with a small dog and then the dog bit her. Local folk medicine said killing and eating the dog was the only way to cure sickness from a dog bite and she felt no remorse as everyone agreed the dog must be eaten. Forgetting 'the natural order' revokes the rights of personhood or humanity, when the main character of the Vegetarian descends into a psychosis trying to escape participating in the violence of the world around her by 'becoming a plant,' it's shown at the end how even her own sister struggles to see her as a person who can still be spoken with or make her own decisions. So yeah it's pretty fucked up and I have some more specific opinions on it ( like I've written essays about it) but as it relates to YSA the Vegetarian is very much about the POV of outsiders following another person's struggles which I find a very interesting in parallel to YSA leafing through KDJ's memories as his wall librarian. I also think her familiarity with trauma literature as a genre may be off-putting to KDJ specifically because these realistic type stories with a bit of fiction are quite similar in genre to the book his own mother wrote, in fact I find it extremely likely that in the world of ORV YSA read LSK's book somewhere before. I think they're also not the kind of books that get overly silly/ have a 'happy ending' by convention, which is interesting to me bc I see passivity vs agency as an important theme concerning YSA's arc throughout the story and whether or not she has an ability to create a happy ending or not is interesting. Like the little 'you knew??' moment in the epilogues is very important bc YSA and KDJ come from this same 'real world' and because of that neither of them really expected a Happy Ending you know. I like that YSA goes through the journey of beginning to Believe in it before KDJ comes back bc you know it shows that perspective can be changed before we even get to him it's really good.

[thatonerylan]

Ice On My Teeth

Warnings: mature, smut, angst, death, violence, non-con

Summary:

When the mafia ruled most of the country, three boys found themselves stuck together, However, all were in rival mafia gangs. All ruling a part of Korea. One in the north, one in the middle, and one in the southern islands of South Korea. Will there be a Selfish Waltz between the three or will they be able to show their Crazy Form to each other while trying to keep their factions a secret?

Words: 1k

Being from the Seoul mafia is one thing, but ruling all over the upper part of Korea up until the 38th parallel, ranging from Gyeonggi-do all the way across to Gangwon-do had been another. Made normal activities difficult, Especially for Yeosang. Having the main headquarters in Seoul, and little meeting areas across Incheon, Suwon, and Chuncheon, he was out mainly most hours of the day especially since it was to protect their area from different mafias. He is Sector A, the most prestigious faction to ever start in Korea.

Being the lead in Sector A -Paradigm as most know- made the day interesting, considering he had to meet up with the other two factions. Sector Z ruled the middle part parts of Korea - Cheongu, Daejeon, Daegu, Chungcheongnam-do, Chungcheongbuk-do, and Gyeongsangbuk-do- and the Southernmost region that didn't have a name but ranged from Jeollabuk-do which held Jeonju, Jeollanam-do holding Muan and Gwangju and Gyeongsangnam-do which held Changwon, Ulsan, and Busan. Jeju Island as well.

However, there was a disagreement between Sector A and Sector Z. Sector A was known to be neutral against trivial matters that didn't evolve them and keep their space from the other two factions, however, Sector A had two men killed over Daegu which made news between the two factions. They were meeting in Busan to discuss the meeting since it would be in foreign land.

But Sector A, Sector Z, and the southern factions had been in cahoots together to try and get the leader out of hiding. Which they successfully managed to do when Sector A declared a meeting. A meeting that required all three sectors.

After what seemed centuries, all three Sectors would be meeting together. To either discuss a peace treaty between them or keep being at each other's throats. A peace treaty would be rare between the three Sectors, but it would be the first in 400 years since the Emperor had a peace treaty with North Korea.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Twirling his finger on the rim of the glass during his morning meeting with smaller groups in the area, Yeosang leaned back in his chair heavily. Unamused at the propositions he was hearing, his hand constantly waving with a flick of his wrist to send them off if he found them uninterested. What lay heavy in the back of his mind had been the big sector meeting. It made his stomach churn thinking about it. The meeting wouldn't be for a while - more like later in the day-, but it kept his mind going. Ultimately zoning him out when there was a man in front of him discussing how they could start smuggling in weapons from Jeju or other countries by boat so that way they could have more resources.

"What I'm saying could work- we get a few men to go on cargo boats at night to wherever the boats go- load them up and come back-"

The man waved his hands trying to describe the situation, Yeosang sat back watching and looking unamused at the whole thing, waving him off while the man was explaining mid-conversation.

"Bland, Boring, and how will this benefit me in any way?. If it can't benefit me and my men, then I will not see to it!"

He slammed his hands down on the desk, the anger getting to him. He had just lost two men in 24 hours and this was what he had to deal with? Having the man be escorted out, he downed the strong whiskey that lay bare in his glass, a subtle groan leaving his mouth before turning his head to look out the big window in his main office.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He tilted his head with a slight glare when he got told that he would be picked up to be taken to the meeting place since it would be dangerous to go on the main highways and strips of the road... It didn’t seem like much, but he had to do it. Ether now or never, and if it didn't get done, who knew how many more men would die or if they would eventually come for him

“Where am I going to this boring meeting? Sector Z or something like that?”

"Actually, it is in Busan. Farther south than normal. It will take a few hours to actually get there."

The mention of where it had been located -which wasn't in Sector Z and somewhere that he hadn't been before- audibly made Yeosang groan. He didn’t want to go all the way there for a couple of hours. Besides nobody there he even liked, so most times he would always catch up later since he would get the message from a different guy that went. 

But this time he actually had to go alone. No ands, ifs or buts. With a sigh, he turned on his heels, going to actually change into professional clothes. However, he decided he wouldn’t show all his face. 

Grabbing his silver phantom mask, he buttoned up his lace black shirt, brushing his hair back before slipping on his silver mask. Part of his face covered as he smiled to himself before turning on his heels, adjusting his sleeves, and closing the door behind him. Going into unknown areas and revealing his whole face could deal bad things to his faction since the others could use it to slander his name, put hits out on him for no reason, or send men out to stalk him and go as bait for a hit and murder spree.

Once he reached the discreet black car that carried a fake license plate over the original one, he climbed into the backseat, closing the door behind him. Mentioning to the driver where he was headed. 

The rumbles of the car underneath came to life as it pulled out of the hidden drive and onto the main streets which would soon turn into backroads and different routes to get there since they needed anyone tailing them that seemed suspicious of where they were going. 

Glancing up into the rearview mirror, a slight smile raked over Yeosang’s face. Only half was seen since a chrome silver mask covered half of his face.

It would be amusing to him to see an old friend… one that took over Sector Z after disappearing off the face of the earth years prior, never reaching out or making any effort to contact him. Always ignoring his calls and letters that he would send or deliver. 

The childhood friend was none other than his ex-bandmate… Jeong Yunho. 

[hdhyera]

hello lovelies! i'm michi! happy to be here and bring my girl hyera here, a slightly insecure, overthinker lovergirl who has a lot of love to give despite her many flaws. she thinks her strength as a trainee is her composing skills and vocal ability on a good day but most days she's too hard on herself and could use some friends who can uplift her! you can view her dossier here and her background under the cut!

background

grew up in a middle class family in gwangju with two academically talented parents who had to give up their dreams to raise her. her mother wanted to be a professional ice skater while her dad wanted to be part of a rock band and tour the world.

for as long as they could they pushed hyera into the arts but they had a deal that once she reached her final year of high school that she would focus and get into one of the top universities

during that time, hyera grew up to be a girl super into trends because she wanted to belong with her peers. she was known as the friendly motherly figure of her friend group, dependable and smart when it counts. she immersed herself in anything artistic and showed potential in most areas, a jack of all trades. however, while she was able to do most things she wasn't really good good at them and this often led her to feel insecure, not able to fully showcase her abilities and instead let others shine.

music was one thing that felt like an even playing field since she was exposed to it early on. she heard of peers being idols and when her best friend got signed under a label, she wanted to follow in her footsteps.

however, because of the deal she had with her parents, she was unable to. convincing them took years and until now her mother is still against her pursuing music. despite the difficult training period, she appeased her by delivering okay enough results at school so she spends a lot of time either training or studying, barely having time for friends so she became somewhat of an outcast.

she was let go by the company she was training under since she was sixteen, and she moved to another company shortly after, shortlisted for an upcoming four member girl group but eventually didn't make it. this caused a big dent in her confidence, and for a year after that she spent her time bonding with her father to music where he taught her how to compose music. the newfound confidence became her edge she could use to impress anyone recruiting her.

she now is signed under atlas entertainment and has a thirst for debuting and finally sharing her story to others

that's it!