#They just have yet to find their group to ostracize

[stromuprisahat]

Six of Crows- Chapter 24 (Leigh Bardugo)

Poor prisoners in high-security cells of Ice Court's prison- even at night, there's light going through a small window in their door.

How could their captors be so cruel and deny them the basic need of sleep?

*cough* Rule of Wolves- Chapter 9 *cough*

The "Heroes" have no qualms imprisoning powerless Darkling in a glass terrarium with permanent daylight.

The irony of Zoya praising Nikolai's humanitarian tendencies right before she introduces WHAT he built... yeah, such a nice guy...

I'd also like to point out one my total top "favourite" phrases- Sun Soldiers, heirs to Alina Starkov's power. That's what helps you sleep at night, Zoya?! Make it a matter of inheritance?! Something to be passed down on other people?! Not the worst kind of tragedy- the butchery of Alina's very being?! Disgusting, how she treats Alina as some sort of benevolent icon living her secret dream. Zoya doesn't even have the excuse of not knowing her personally, of not being present when were Alina's powers ripped out of her.

(If there's something unnatural in all of these books, it's those so called Sun Soldiers.)

And back to the Darkling- I'm sure those nice, obedient Soldiers hold no grudge and don't abuse the power they have over him now.

Which gets us back to Darkles' living conditions- apparently, he's a disgusting whore for making himself at least a little bit comfortable.

I'm sure he suffers no migraines or other light-related pains or issues. He's just a bit warm. :)

And the lack of even the most basic camp bed is completely normal. Fjerdans don't give their high-sec prisoners furniture either!

[mellosdrawings]

With how Rook stalks Leona and Vil (is it really stalking with Vil if Vil is very much aware and consents enough for rook to be in the open?) if both of them date Jamil, would he also be stalked?

He's already hyper aware of his surroundings so adding rook into the mix feels like he should just get more time to sleep.

Thank you SO MUCH for asking! Lemme introduce you to Vil/Rook/Leona shipping, the sheer potential of Rook-Jamil, and my Rook metamour theory!

First, I'm a big Vil/Rook/Leona shipper. I call Rook/Leona the Hunter/Hunted ship. Who's the hunter? Who's the hunted? Who knows. As @aria-faye (THE Rook connoisseur who made me love Rook too lol) said, they both come from the same place, have the same culture, and are both somewhat outsiders in their own way. Rook doesn't really fit the Sunset Savanah stereotype or the Savanaclaw mentality in full. Leona doesn't fit the ideal of a prince and gets ostracized by his own people. Both of them work really well as a ship with Vil and it makes this funny Pomefiore-to-Savanaclaw pipeline with Rook in the middle, having been in both dorms.

For Jamil, once more quoting V "I feel like Rook kind of already keeps an eye on Jamil, a bit. He watches things he finds beautiful, and Jamil is definitely beautiful." Plus there didn't seem to be any adverse reaction from Jamil toward Rook for the entirety of book 5. And Rook is so desperately honest and true to himself that it contrasts completely with Jamil who still struggles to find himself after a lifetime of lying. He'd be a good push for Jamil to be more honest too, a good influence.

In relation to the N2 squad, here's my answer : METAMOUR. I'm already polyshipping 24/7, it might not yet be completely obvious in my blog but I ship more OT3 than actual couples. I work better with 3+ characters relationships than regular couples. So since Vil, Leona, and Jamil are already dating, why couldn't I add Rook too? He's not part of the N2 squad, but he's such a constant shadow to Vil that it's hard to imagine them away from each other. Leona and Jamil would start dating him fully knowing Rook is there and not leaving. Really, Rook would probably be Vil's first boyfriend before Leona and Jamil become a thing.

That doesn't mean Leona and Jamil would necessarily start dating Rook though, and that's where the metamour happens. They all share Vil, but whether there is a relationship between Leona and Rook, or Jamil and Rook is up to... my mood, mostly xD Or reader's interpretation I guess. Maybe they just get comfortable simply sharing Vil, maybe they have a sort of queer platonic relationship, maybe they're all dating.

I tend to treat Rook as a bonus when it comes to N2, because he doesn't fit the group, but it's hard to imagine him away, and he's so stupidly supportive that he'd probably be a good influence on forever-depressed-Leona and desperately-confused-Jamil.

Tldr : Jamil and Leona would start dating Vil knowing Rook would be there anyway, so if they ever feel uncomfortable about it they can only blame themselves.

(Who'd you think held the camera in those illus?)

[milf--adjacent]

Something that convinced me that transmysoginy exists more than any other argument was how immediate and violent the reaction from TMEs and adjacent folks was. As soon as you bring up the very idea of queer groups having power dynamics it's a flood of "You're intersexist" "You're transandrophobic" "You have no idea what's going on" "you hate gnc people", etc. etc. without ever trying to debunk the argument, and often resorting to character assassinations.

To 'debunk' the argument would mean they would have to address it which means facing their possibly hidden biases upon which they build their own narrative of superiority. They wanna say "you're a bunch of baddel bigot transfem supremacists" when in reality we're chipping away at their own supremacist values simply by mentioning that we are whole people who are consistently forgotten and undervalued by queer communities at large. They think we "want on top" when all we want is an end to veiled hate and dismissal of our thoughts, feelings, and experiences because we were forced to walk through life with a big 'M' on our records and somehow that means we lived the good life until we started "pretending" to be women. All we want is to be considered and included.

Like there was this gushing outporing of support for that post that told trans women to stay alive then told trans men to stay alive, and a bunch of TME people were like "I've never heard it phrased for trans men before!" and while I can respect their experience 1. We curate our own experiences here, so maybe follow some more positive trans men and you'll see plenty of transmasc positivity (I see plenty and I'm not even looking for it!) and 2. Which part of the community has a long, lingering, often unreported suicide issue? Which types of trans people are ostracized from the groups and communities that are supposed to help them and care for them? Which group of trans people makes up the bulk of the trans suicide stats?

Trans women are dying of lonliness and despair every day, and some TME people want to turn it into a "both sides" issue of "balance" and "fairness." I think one side lacks proper balance and fairness since one side has entire stores and clothing lines dedicated to their needs, but when I want a bra or shoes in my size, I have to wade through listings labeled "CROSSDRESSER SISSY BOTTOM TRANSEXUAL CLOTHING FOR MEN" to find something. I go to the queer support group and I am the only transfem in the room and the whole organization is run by TME people. I go to pride and there's so much fanfare for the drag queens who live their lives as gay men and only adopt womanhood as a performance, but even for the fucking TRANS MARCH, only one transfem is given space to speak on stage, and she is quickly bustled from the stage so a TME DJ can spin a super mid remix of I Feel Love (should have just played the extended dance mix for fucks sake) and yet another drag queen can perform.

It's not just me noticing these things, and many transfems aren't half as brave as me because of histories of abuse and neglect.

To even validate the argument that transfems are overlooked and neglected would be to address one's role in making that happen so consistently, so it's easier for that type of TME person to cast individual trans women as some sort of monster than to address their own internalized transmisogyny. No one likes to be told they're hurting someone, but no one goes full hater as quickly as a white queer person who is told their lack of empathy empowers transmisogyny.

[dutiful-wildcraft]

Pack 141 - Fae!Soap Headcanons

Tags: monster au, Fae!Soap, poly 141, sfw, fluff, general lore, Soap's mom? for a minute at least, fae lore I roughly researched.

-Soap's mother was a stubborn and superstitious woman. When her baby boy was born with a caul over his face, her heart seized with dread. She had been told stories, how it was lucky to have a child able to see beyond the veil. How the caul signified a great power, coveted by the people of the forest. Her only babe, marked as Fae. 

-They would come for her child, steal him in the night and replace him with another. And it would be a cold day in hell before Jill Mactavish let anything touch her son.

-She slept with the bundle clutched tightly in her arms, refusing to sleep until she left the hospital. Left him wrapped snugly to her front as she hammered iron railroad spikes into the corners of her property; hung horseshoes above her doors, sprinkled fine lines of salt around every doorway and window of her home. 

-She thought it had worked. At least for a while. But the Fae are persistent if nothing else. Jill began to notice strange flowers pop up around the foundation of her home, odd tapping rhythms heard in the night. Would she know? Would she know if the lamb in her arms was replaced with another?

-She was so exhausted, worn thin from paranoia. Yet Jill Mactavish was no quitter. Under the light of a pale full moon she marched to the edge of her property. Her blue eyed bundle cooing and gumming happily at his fingers as he wriggled against her chest. With a final look to the boy she faced the forest with a stern resolve, “You won't take him! But I'll share him! Leave us be or help me raise him right!” 

-The winds rustled, branches creaking ominously. Leaves gathered and spun into a tornado of color in the chill autumn air. Jill would freeze in place as the leaves fell away, revealing an ethereally beautiful creature before her. All high cheekbones and sharp eyes surrounded by inky black sclera. 

-Ordinarily the Fae would swap out changelings, snag the babe once it was the right size and replace it with one of their own. Considering the wee one was already Touched….perhaps a swap would be unnecessary.  Human mother's were coveted. The milk of human kindness and all that, and the babe was truly beautiful, destined to be strong. The fae had looked Jill up and down with a calculating look. Yes. A deal could be struck. They would raise the baby together.

-And thus Soap spent his time in equal parts amongst the Fae and humans, learning to socialize with both, though he didn't completely fitting in with either. Soap was hell on wheels. Rambunctious and equally curious, constantly nosing or getting into things he ought not have. Not that he was ostracized by either group he was just..*odd.* Unable to find his footing or close friends.

-You could say that Soap has many siblings, though this term is used liberally.  By human technicalities Soap is an only child (his mum's baby boy). His mother, through the nature of her bargain,  was brought into the fold with young John. Helping to raise and nurse her own gaggle of fae children of differing bloods. Other children Soap would call family.

-Fae don't have strict family dynamics, it's certainly a community effort to rear little ones. Fae children can be produced in a myriad of ways, with no one way being seen above another, p in v? that works. Born from a flower? Sure why not. Throw some herbs and intent together until a wailing babe sounds from the cauldron? That works too.

-Soap naturally inquired about this, as any kid would. “Ma? Did I come from a flower?” “You came from my belly wee one” Soap had squinted at her, eyeing her belly incredulously, "but how?”

-It took several conversations to get the toddler to understand that the other children in his human primary school were not in fact his brothers and sisters. 

-As humans are fascinated with the Fae, the Fae are equally as fascinated by humans. As John grew into a young man he would see the differences. The Fae courts had long fallen into a peaceful rhythm. The humans? Hardly. With a powerful knack for chaos, among other abilities. Soap threw himself into the army. Keen to help as many as he could, and perhaps even find his own way. 

-Soap is a marked child. He is more resilient on average than most Fae, and shows no obvious limitations in what disciplines he can learn. However, as marked he does have particular dispositions toward the following.

-Tongues, the ability to speak any language at will. Sometimes without thinking about it. For Soap this isn't automatic, but after a few days of listening or studying he's fluent. (Albeit with the accent). This gives Soap a peculiar edge when working with varying communities, elements, and other critters/creatures.

-Glamour, a sophisticated illusion, these may allow for invisibility or changes to appearance for a brief time (upwards to an hour but possibly longer depending on the severity of the change). Living amongst the Fae made permanent changes to his body. The sclera of his eyes had shifted inky black. His teeth and nails razor sharp. There is an ethereal beauty to all Fae as well. Naturally Soap uses this ability to cover some of the obvious issues.

-Soap knows he's distracting. He's a proud thing, and rarely bothers shifting that. He's damn good at what he does and looks damn good doing it. Hshows off his muscles/skills/looks without shame. 

-Shapeshifting, self explanatory, but only works proportionally give or take a few inches. He may take on the appearance of another person or creature, briefly. But once again, only appearance. Mimicking voices is another skill.

-Sight or Clairvoyance, this ability's range depends on the court or bloodline. In Soap's case, his visions will occasionally come to him in dreams, these being more sophisticated visions or events far in the future. These visions are generally more detailed.  He is typically privy to smaller prophecies,  glimpses of events happening minutes before him. These are typically vague, but have consistently been enough to save his and his teammates asses numerous times in the field.  The Infamous Mactavish Intuition ;)

-Soap is one hell of an alchemist, and can make due with most natural items at his disposal. Poisons, potions, explosives, you name it, Soap can make it. He excelled remarkably in the maths and sciences in school, and it��s why he was also quickly assigned to demolitions so long ago. 

-Soap has a very noticeable smell. One that isn't exclusively detected by other supernatural beings. Any human standing beside him would notice it. Lemon and shortbread, with a warm curl of rose.  Clean, green and vaguely sweet. People wonder if his callsign was from this fact rather than his prowess on the field.

-Nudity has no taboo with the Fae. Raised as such, the man has literally no shame. Soap Mactavish has been naked since he was a child in the woods, and will continue to proudly do so. Does not understand why everyone else is so uptight about it. Will bust in on someone in the shower without a second thought. “Stop screamin’ it’s just me”

-Fae are very partial to music, and Soap is no exception. He is so easily captivated by the sound, swaying slightly, almost as if hypnotized. Soap isn’t as in tune with artists and genres as Gaz is, but he keeps a hoard of songs on his phone. Gaz is his main contributor, keeps him well fed with playlists he makes. Playing new records for Soap as they bop around the kitchen together, playfully dancing or headbanging together.  Soap was once pretty proficient with piano and guitar at his mam’s encouragement. His singing however, nearly got him killed in basic. 

-Many animals are the watchdogs of the Fae. Soap has been seen having conversations with himself, unknowing to onlookers that a little frog or squirrel was sitting beside him. Someone swears they saw a mouse crawl out of his tac vest once. He whistles with the birds, scoops up bugs and plops them back into the weeds.  He unfortunately doesn’t know the language of the shower spider. He doesn't bother to learn, he thinks he prefers the silence in this instance. 

-Soap can be attracted with a myriad of things just like any other fae. Music as mentioned above is one. He is also partial to pretty chimes and bells, running water, shiny and/or colorful displays, as well as anything sweet, candies or sweet creams/milks/liquors.

- Too much contact with iron on his bare skin will poison him.  Fortunately most weaponry constructed now is made of more synthetic material. It can be noticed that Soap is very particular about his gloves, and is rarely seen without them on. Iron on properties or above doors won’t exactly stop him, but it is incredibly uncomfortable and will lead to sickness if he is trapped within such a ward for too long. 

-Fae, like crows, are enamored with jewels and other shiny objects, less of a weakness really and more of a distraction. Soap, prior to his enlistment had several piercings, such as his ears, and brow…among other things. He was very fond of the adornments, and easily captivated by the shiny displays on others. (This also extends to his intense love of blowing shit up and watching the sparks fly, big ole hearts in his eyes as the colors dance)  In the event the team goes out for something special Soap will throw on a few pieces for fun~ 

-Soap can not lie, at least not directly, however Soap is a very sharp lad, and has learned to cleverly navigate around this by either not telling the whole truth, letting others assume, or simply not correcting misconceptions. He is a Fae afterall, being clever is his specialty.

-Customs of love and marriage vary among the Fae. Many Fae interpret strong love as variations of servitude, especially towards human mates.  Soap has gotten himself tangled between both of these versions of love. For Soap love is servitude. Not something to be expected of his lovers, but from him. Soap gives himself to his lovers willingly, He wants to be good, give them anything they want and let them take what they need. Love is worship, and Soap is a very devoted man.

-Soap and Gaz had bro’d up as soon as they spotted each other. Having seen through each other's glamours, they became fast friends. Two oddballs fighting side by side. Which would turn into playful banter, and kips on the helo leaning against one another. Then to wandering hands and desperate kisses, having found comfort and fondness in each other after years of hiding themselves among humans. Soap and Gaz are the most cuddly. Johnny likes to lay sprawled in his Sphinx’s nest, his arms curled around his middle, face buried against Gaz's stomach. Both of them absolutely hate to sleep alone. 

- Soap had a knack for getting into trouble. Disregarding orders to do what needed to be done. Had nearly been kicked out had his skills not saved his skin (and countless others). It was Price who sniffed him out, offered to take the man on loan for a bit. Soap's former CO was happy to be rid of him and hopeful that the notoriously stern Captain would knock some sense into him. Price, however had no such plans, he cut Soap loose, full authority, and watched the man bloom. Price did not anger at Soap’s decisions, didn’t flinch at his savagery in the field. In fact, Price had looked upon him with fondness (and a fair amount of exasperation). He kept Soap warm with lovely praises and a regular morning coffee, plus a heavy splash of sweet cream, for good measure.

-Simon had been more difficult, adamant on giving the Fae a hard time. Having seemingly been put off by Soap ever since he bounded off the truck and fist-bumped his arm on the tarmac. But Soap was determined, chatting and teasing, unphased by the lieutenants' icey behavior. They fell together in no time. Soap nestled to his chest, lips brushing over Simon's slow beating heart. Soap would never admit it. Never admit that he knew it would be like this all along. That Soap had seen him in his dreams.

[notnights]

So obviously it's still too early to properly analyze the exact relationship dynamic between Jax and Gangle in canon. I promise this is less of me trying to find legitimate proof of any character speculations, and more just a string of very quick, messy personal thoughts on the topic. Context and motivation for their behaviors are likely to be explained in future episodes, and until then there's still quite a lot of uncharted territory left to explore. (Although I will say that both these characters are surprisingly more active and engaging with each other upon rewatch. aka, their willingness to be around one another seems mutual, the bullying is not.)

The only information that we can currently gather about Gangle are her canon appearances, the preview screenshot Glitch posted on the official account and to a lesser extent, Gangle's concept art sketches: Alot of it being about her fixation and dependency towards her comedy mask. We don't know whether she's fixated on the actual sensation being happy 24/7 or just the ability to appear joyful around everybody else just yet, or What her real-world equivalent of the mask was, or even if there ever was a real-world equivalent to begin with. But, Personal indictment is that she does genuinely want long term companionship and meaningful connections with other people. Or at the very least, not be subtly ostracized out of social convention. I think she believes that curating her outward demeanor might change the way others perceive her, and hopefully the way they interact with her as well. It doesn't really help that each of the circus crew are all a bit too much in their own heads to notice, one way or another. Even if they do mean well at the end of the day, it's never quite what she's really looking to accomplish. (It also doesn't help that her digital design is so detached from being human either, she's essentially a flat face on a piece of string. One can't really blame her for trying to make the most of what she's able to display tbh.)

So far, we know Jax is apathetic, violent and generally antagonistic towards everyone in the main cast, sometimes deliberately towards the girls. I think it isn't all that farfetched to believe he latched on to Gangle because she was malleable enough to target without facing most of the consequences. Subsequently, there's also the idea of him relating Gangle's tragedy mask to her willingness to comply: It's an emotional vulnerability for her (She already sees herself as less deserving of human interaction in this state, she won't have anyone else to go to, she doesn't seem to like being left alone). It's not farfetched to assume Jax sees the tragedy mask as a more "complied version" of Gangle, more entertaining and easier to string along. Me thinks he prefers it, but again. It's too soon to tell. Anyways something something designated role in group activities something something internalized self-worth I think Gangle and Ragatha have very similar philosophies when it comes to people pleasing and it almost makes me believe in the theory that they secretly don't get along even more.

(btw plz feel absolutely no pressure to respond to any of this at all - Again, very messy thoughts that I barely had time to collect. Ribbun is an unexpected infection with unfortunately very thought consuming brain fodder to me personally. Have a nice day.

I like these thoughts! It'll be really interesting to see how the Comedy and Tragedy masks work for Gangle.

I do agree Jax probably prefers Tragedy Gangle as even if it's only as deep as "she's funnier like that." And Gangle is the easiest victim for him in that state.

We've seen everyone (but Kinger, who Jax kind of doesn't bother too much, and you could argue it's because Kinger doesn't give an entertaining reaction) fight back against Jax's behavior in some way. Ragatha yells at him, Zooble isn't afraid to get physical, and we can tell Pomni had death on her mind when he threw her off the truck. The most Gangle has done is timidly resist for a few seconds before compiling. Steps on her mask, pushes her, grabs her and puts her in the drivers seat, she doesn't say anything.

She has a couple of bite back words, but then Jax just bites back and it shuts her down. Which is interesting because when Ragatha yells at him it's clear he thinks its funny and merely snarks back at her, often getting her to yell more. He gets different reactions out of everyone in the group and picks different entertainment from that. Gangle might be the one he knows he has proper control over.

As for the Ragatha and Gangle thing, I was really interested in the fact no one cared when Gangle broke her mask in the pilot, not even Ragatha who is our outwardly most caring. You could say it's because she had tunnel vision on Pomni, but I immediately interpreted it as, yeah Gangle's mask breaks all the time, she's crying all the time, eventually people stop caring. The boy who cried wolf, etc etc.

Even if Ragatha doesn't have direct conflict with Gangle, the fact Ragatha is someone who internalizes everything, and projects a positive outlook, I imagine someone like Gangle would make her pretty uncomfortable.

Here Ragatha is trying her darnest to keep it together and remain positive, meanwhile Gangle is crying all the time behind her.

"It's not so bad here Pomni, I promise!" as Gangle cries in the background.

Gangle being a constant reminder of how Ragatha, and maybe all of them really feel about being stuck here. Too early to say if Ragatha resents Gangle for this, or how she really feels about it. But if she does that's so sad because (we also don't know yet) Gangle has no control over these feelings, it wasn't her choice for her avatar to work like this.

Which honestly could be a good allegory for how certain people view mental illness in the real world too. Ragatha being a loved one who's uncomfortable with Gangle's moods, or even believes if Gangle just tried hard enough like her (example: keeping her comedy mask safe) she'd be fine. Ooh sad comic ideas.

[sepublic]

            I really love this bit where Vee can’t help but blurt out her amazement over Willow, Gus, and Amity’s synchronization here, while also clearly missing out on the complicated history behind them. You really get the sense that Vee is a bit anxious about being an outsider to the Hexsquad’s dynamic, a borderline intruder; Which just about tracks, her own existence is technically unnatural (Vee does not yet know Hunter is a Grimwalker).

         Basilisks are feared by witches, and Vee is not one, when even Luz (who admitted to a harsh encounter with Vee’s sister) and Hunter qualify. Vee’s been ostracized as an other by the Emperor’s Coven, and she’s had to essentially infiltrate human society by literally masking, so there’s probably a bit of impostor syndrome there.

         Like her sister Luz, there’s that anxiety that Vee is an Other who doesn’t really belong anywhere, and is only pretending to fit in, but eventually she’ll be outed. And with Luz taking back her identity, that means Vee had to lose what friends she did make in the human realm, and possibly watch as Luz inevitably drifted away from them due to her own trauma and lack of history. And Vee is reminded of what she’s lost after reuniting with Masha, just moments before! So Vee really wants to embrace the Hexsquad as her new friends, but does she belong?

         Sure, Hunter hasn’t been part of the group for long either by the time Vee joined, and Luz was likely explaining Vee to her friends before Willow and Gus even met him. But from Vee’s perspective, all of these kids showed up together, with Gus huddling under Hunter’s arm in explicit trust. Vee must represent something scary to them, and/or an unfamiliar world they don’t belong in, so surely Vee doesn’t belong with them either! Vee understands Spanish at the start of the episode, in contrast to the other members of the Hexsquad.

         Given basilisks excel at disguises and Vee’s own past, it tracks that she’s figured out how to be quietly observant, not giving herself away, as Vee quickly picks up a lot of things she’s not privy to and the unspoken words exchanged between others. So in addition to the Reality Check camp, Vee could blend in with the human realm. But it’s tricky to just outright ask and admit her disconnect, hence why Vee doesn’t know how complicated things were between Willow and Amity especially; So when Vee does make an assumption about their bond, it’s a leap that betrays she isn’t in the know, rather than hiding this fact.

        So the uncertain, tentatively hopeful way Vee asks for another photo, after being corrected and making the situation awkward? Like she’s hoping they’ll forgive her for that? Vee clearly wants to make up for her obvious outsider mistake, by being included in another memory? Or at least atone by giving them their own memory, while she’s left out as photographer? Did Vee suggest this museum in the first place, even risk her trauma, to impress the others?

         And Willow, self-designated Mom Friend, immediately picks up on Vee’s unstated wish and enthusiastically embraces her, lets Vee know that they see her and she’s considered one of them; Willow’s reciprocated, also picking up on Vee’s unspoken words through observation! If they’re taking a picture they’re all taking a picture, Willow will find a way to include Vee as someone experienced with that camera. It’s wonderful, and it directly causes Vee to figure out a piece of the puzzle, after being left out when Willow, Amity, and Gus had their own breakthrough moments ago!

         LOOK AT THAT BLUSH SHE IS HAPPY AND PROUD TO HAVE PLAYED A PART AND OFFICIALLY BELONG!!!

[honkytonk-hangman]

Checkmate

Jake Seresin x Aviator!Reader

Summary: You've been transferred to Dagger Squad, which is both good and bad. Good, because it meant the brass felt you belonged with the best. Bad, because the best already had a tight friendship group, and you were not yet apart of that. And you may never be, if you keep making fun of a certain someone's callsign.

Notes: This is basically me deciding that Jake is the biggest fan of 'Dallas' there ever was or ever has been. no I wont be taking suggestions. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk. This will probably have another part to it, but wanted to share as is for now.

Masterlist

You step into the squad ready room, glad to find it busy enough that your arrival goes more or less unnoticed. You weren’t normally the wallflower type, but you’d been deployed enough times by now that you’d developed a system for assimilating, one that mostly involved keeping your head down and performing so well that they would have no choice but to gladly welcome you. That way you never had to experience the mortification of being snubbed by an already established friend group who you would have no choice but to continue working with and seeing every single day.

Perhaps you were a little bit of a wallflower type, but this current transfer was going to be the greatest challenge to your usual ploy of sneakily befriending them all the while proving your worth. Not only was Dagger Squad made up of the top percent of Top Gun graduates in the past few years, but they had all been chosen for a classified mission just over a year ago, meaning that their pre-established friendship was probably going to be harder to sneak into than the Pope’s private snack pantry.

Thus, why were you moving at an even more subdued pace than usual. You were still in the observation stage.

To their credit, Dagger had been more genuinely welcoming than some of the group’s you’d subbed in for, but as nice as they all seemed, they still had a natural cohesion and flow, both in the sky and on the ground, which you were not a part of.

Yet, you remind yourself. You weren’t a part of it yet, but you would be. There was no alternative, because at last you had been assigned to a detachment permanently, which meant Dagger was it for you. You needed this to go smoothly, you needed to avoid any possibility of ostracization, embarrassment, or long-term derision. Just keep your head down and grow on them slowly, they’ll barely even realise you’re worming your way into their hearts until it’s already too late–

“Hey, Bishop!”

You manage to at least not look like a startled deer at the sudden call of your name. Across the room, you see most of the usual group gathered, Rooster and Phoenix taking up one couch, Coyote, Hangman and Payback spread over the other, with Fanboy lounging on the arm, balancing rather impressively. Paypack leans around Fanboy to check if he had your attention.

“Bishop,” he grins brightly when he sees you looking back at him, and you force yourself to calm down and relax as you approach, which is a little easier given his friendly aura.

“What’s up?” you ask, adjusting your go-bag on your shoulder, doing your best to sound casual but not uninterested.

“Your callsign, what’s it mean?” Payback doesn’t beat around the bush, and although you experience an amount of horror over the question, it isn't the first time you've been asked, or you’ve needed to explain. The chagrin you feel about your less-than-stellar identifier passes a little faster than it usually does though, as Payback waits for your answer with nothing but genuine curiosity and interest.

“Oh–”

“–‘Who shot J. R.?’, Right?” Hangman cuts in suddenly, and you think he sounds strangely excited. Your lips twitch, wanting desperately to grin, but you don’t want anybody to think you’re laughing at him, so you just quickly nod, and gesture that he’d got it.

“What?” Payback and Fanboy speak at the same time, turning to look at their friend in equal amounts of confusion, amusement and disbelief. Hangman stares back, either refusing to be embarrassed, or being physically incapable of feeling it in the first place.

Apparently, even in regards to Dallas.

“The greatest cliffhanger in T.V. history? Oh, come on!” Hangman throws his hands up, shaking his head. You can’t be sure of exactly how much of his incredulity is real, though the accusatory look that each person in the room receives in turn tells you that perhaps you should keep your own thoughts about the classic to yourself.

“Unbelievable! Nobody here is too good for Dallas!” Hangman huffs resentfully, pointing specifically at Coyote, who is the only one not bothering to hide his snickering.

You blink away from Hangman, leaving him to what looked like his surely impending conniption, at the hands of Dallas. Live by the oil tycoon, die by your mistress, your grandma would say.

You look at Payback, and shrug.

“The guy’s I trained with thought I sounded like the character, so…” you say with a shrug. Usually this was as far as the questions about your callsign would go, your explanation reasonable enough to those who asked.

“What? You don’t sound anything like him.” Hangman cuts in again, sounding as though the idea was personally offensive to him, aided by his disgusted expression.

Instead of taking offence, you startle and clap your hands, throwing them wildly out as though you were a character on a 90’s sitcom.

“Right?!” You exclaim, perhaps a little louder than you intend, and certainly louder than any of the squad expect of you either. You drop your Seinfeld-arms, and quietly clear your throat.

“I–I’m not even from Dallas.” you’d been wanting to say those words for the past eight years. 

Hangman rolls his eyes, as if to say ‘clearly’, but he sits up slightly and gestures vaguely at you instead.

“Your last name is literally ‘Bishop’– Every ready room I’ve been in for the past fourteen years has had about sixteen copies of the official chess rulebook– It’s just lazy,” he waves the hand he’d flung your way, and shakes his head again with a derisive sniff, followed by a deep grunt.

“Not that J.R. is bad, or anything,” he adds, and it takes you a moment to realise his grunt had not been a part of his displeasure, and was in fact a result of Coyote’s elbow spiking him hard in the ribs.

“It’s certainly unique,” you shrug, you mind flooding with possible responses, but they were the kind you’d give to a friend, a fellow aviator you’d known and flown with for years, not a virtual stranger.

Then again, you were trying to assimilate, and in Seresin’s case at least, verbal sparring seemed to be something he actively sought out. You’d noticed it the past week. He wasn’t ever exactly mean but he toed the line, just enough to bait out a response, however, he was let down by the fact these people knew and cared about him, and were willing to simply ignore his attempts to roll around the proverbial mat (which, to his credit, he still seemed to gain some satisfaction from. The man was a master of mind games).

You aren’t completely certain you’re right in your observations, but you figure it couldn’t hurt to try, seeing as with very little effort, he’d helped you get over eight years of nitpicking about your callsign off your chest by simply pointing it out.

“Well, it’s not too unique. It could have been something really embarrassing, like yours.”

You realise then, that actually, it could hurt quite a bit to try after all.

Everyone stares either at you, including Hangman who blinks slowly, his face completely devoid of any give away as to whether or not you’ve just made your next few weeks here a whole lot worse for yourself. You think Rooster lets out a quiet chortle disguised poorly as a cough, at the same time Fanboy whistles slowly, like a school student signalling the start of a fight. You feel your face begin to heat up, and you clumsily shuffle your slipping back further up your shoulder, not helped by the way Hangman has not stopped staring at you, his eyes following your jerky, nervous movements.

That’s when you see it, and strangely despite the utter mortification and minor panic you’d almost been sent into, an amount of joy that is definitely too much fills your chest and head. Hangman clicks his tongue against his teeth and you can see clearly now, that although not a reaction you had seen him give his friends, he was performing this solely because he could see it was getting a rise from you, compounding your uncertainty.

You aren’t sure if being correct about the man living for drama is really a good thing at all in the long run, but for now, you’ll take the amused smirk that grows across his features, and the likely subconscious acceptance in his unrelenting gaze.

Phoenix snorts then and kicks out at Hangman’s shoe. She isn't looking at him though, instead she’s got you fixed in her gaze, grinning widely and brightly in a manner that suggests you might have just gotten a two for one deal tonight.

“We’re all heading out to the Hard Deck later, you should come,” she tells you, eyes sparkling in a way that makes you glad for the effective trick shot you’ve managed, as you’d had Phoenix pegged from the start as the hardest nut to crack. “Especially if you’re gonna keep tone on Jake.” she adds with a snort, and jerks her head in Hangman’s direction

You briefly glance toward the blond man, who has surprisingly little add, considering his downfall was being planned right in front of him, but he simply seems to be listening good-naturedly, as if he didn’t spend every conversation he had playing a verbal game of cat and mouse his opponent usually had very little chance of winning.

Now, he sits quietly, half listening to what Phoenix had been saying, and half tuned in to Payback and Fanboy’s lively chatter about pool trick shots. Hangman cuts in, declaring the trick shot described as ‘simple’, and you wonder if Phoenix considers beating him at pool to be keeping tone.

From the way he clearly puffs his chest out now, fully invested in the trick-shot chatter, you think it just might.

You look back to her, and find that she too has picked up on the boy's plans for later, her face now pulled into a near-machiavellian grin. She dips her chin in question to you, and then towards Hangman, the meaning clear as crystal, and you give her a completely unrestrained smile in response, which only makes her own smile turn positively villainous.

All of sudden you feel as though you’ve arrived on the first day of summer camp. Before you even know it, you feel a friendship begin to form, one far stronger than any mere pinky promise, the kind of loyalty that can only be adequately expressed through the sacred exchanging of friendship bracelets.

Camp is ended when the up until now quiet presence of Rooster lets out an amused snort. He looks as though he wants to say something, to Phoenix, at least, but holds off, either because it would give the game away to your unsuspecting victim, or perhaps because he didn’t really know you well. The man wasn’t shy, per se, what you’d picked up over the last week was that of a man happy to let others do the talking, but would gladly take part if he had something to offer or add. The kind of quiet confidence that comes from knowing you were actually extremely cool, you suspect.

It was nice, and one of the reasons you were so eager to make a good impression and naturally ingratiate yourself here. Unless something majorly disruptive were to happen, this was your squad now, very likely until you left. There was nowhere to go up-wise, Dagger was the best of the best.

You and Phoenix reign in your expressions and she shrugs more casually, leaning back into the cushions.

“We’ll see you later, then. Bob lives on base, so I can ask him to wait for you if you want?” To her credit, her voice has fallen back into a smooth casualty that only further cements your desire to be her friend. You nod and give your own shoulders a bit of a roll.

“I’d appreciate that a lot, if it's not too much trouble for him?” You aren’t sure you’d go if it meant going on your own. You might be a great Naval Aviator, but you disliked driving, especially at night, and would go some ways to avoid it if you could. Phoenix’s eyes briefly flash with mischief and trouble, but she waves off your concern.

“Nah, he’s always taking this lot home. I’ll let him know.” her eyes again, twinkle, and you get the feeling that soon your numbers in the conspiracy to knock Hangman down a peg or two would rise. Well, it already had, if Rooster counted, but you weren’t sure about him yet.

Instead of letting yourself start to try and unravel and unpick the mystery that was Rooster, you call it a night with two sort-of-wins under your belt.

It does briefly occur to you, that once you get a pool stick in hand, Hangman may not be in the ‘win’ pile for very long.

[madqueenalanna]

so i'm almost done with my "terror" (show) rewatch and just finished reading "terror" (book) yesterday so let me ramble lowkey about the differences

i do love of course the little character details of the book that couldn't possibly make it into the show. sir john's devotion to his "gentleman" status to the point that he stays dead silent during sex, for one, crozier getting jacked off in a pond for another. the book's meandering pace gave us lots of ship descriptions (agonizing) but also lots of time with even minor characters (peglar for one)

and so because of their respective mediums, i like each ending/portrayal of tuunbaq in its own way. in the book, it's a spirit created by a goddess, forced to wander the frozen north and feast. silna and people like her are psychic, marry other psychics to create their own tribe, their own people. this is not to control tuunbaq but simply to communicate; they leave it offerings, it doesn't kill them. the white men have no way to understand this, and so they trespass and are murdered. crozier leaves his identity behind to join these people, loses his tongue, has children by silna, and feels the honor in this choice. tuunbaq's appearance is ephemeral, difficult to explain, almost incorporeal. it isn't a monster, it's a part of the land in the same way winter is. very spiritual

in the show of course it's much more straightforward. it's a beast that can be injured, can eventually be killed, needs to be bound to a shaman that can control it. silna cuts out her own tongue to follow in her father's footsteps, instead of having lost her tongue as a child in this psychic group. it dies, agonizingly, like so many of the polar bears it resembles, yet another victim of british colonialism. silna is ostracized by her people for its death under her watch. crozier joins the netsilik without her, assimilating culturally if not on this secondary spiritual plane. obviously this makes much more sense to see on screen

the other big change is of course the health of the men. sure they SAY in the show the men are failing, and we see some of them, but the book, agonizingly (good), details every mile they haul sledges, every symptom of scurvy, a few violent deaths from botulism, blanky losing first part of his foot, then half his leg, then several wooden legs break and he calls its quits when the stump is gangrenous. the book is so clear that this takes MONTHS, it feels like months, hickey's mutiny is almost a minor footnote because they were all already almost dead by the time it occurs. the cannibalism is such a last resort that they're all half-dead by that point. it's slow, it's painful, so it all makes more... sense, almost. you FEEL their pain, this slow horrific death, the STARVATION

that said i love the death of fitzjames in the show. he's got scurvy and dies of botulism in the book, but i think it's just scurvy in the show. we see his battle scars, obtained in a colonial venture to asia, re-open and suppurate. in a very real, literal way, his past has come to haunt him, to poison him. he dies on another colonial mission, weakened by his former expeditions eating him alive, destroyed by this land that wants them dead

and from researching this show/book i got linked by some very helpful redditors to some very long articles detailing inuit descriptions of finding hms terror before it sank, so i'm excited to dip into those

[transient-winds]

Do you ever just sit down and think about the logistics of a Wind Breaker Jidaigeki AU?

How almost every one of our beloved deliquents would have their original dark hair colors except for Umemiya and Sakura? How Sakura's ostracization would be hella worse, some may even call him an oni or yokai due to his hair and eyes? He'd be treated as a hinin (非人, hi-nin lit. non-human) and would take the first chance he gets to run to a remote/rural part of Japan. (Reminiscent to how Mizu was treated in Blue Eyed Samurai.)

I wouldn't be surprised if on his journey, he'd pick up some skills by observing practicing swordsmen in the distance and picking up a fallen sword in battlefields or via stealing.

I would also like to say that he might cover his hair to stay lowkey, but the belief that Sakura would not hide who he is even if it killed him is fighting against the idea.

Sakura coming across Makochi, a rural village isolated from the capital, must've been a too-good-to-be-true dream and terrifying experience. The first village to ever welcome his presence? And the people aren't disgusted by his appearance? Wth, he's was literally there to find out if the rumors of a group called Bofurin were accepting of bloodlust wayward swordsmen.

[Edit: Forgot to mention; while Sakura might be skilled with the sword and has experience, I'd like to point out he isn't officially a samurai. If I'm going to be setting this AU during Feudal Japan, there's a lot more chances of Sakura becoming one (if rumors be true) rather than if this was set during the Edo period (where restrictions on swordsmen became stricter), but it's on the fewer side. Considering he's a social pariah, those chances become slimer. However, perhaps being Makochi can change that? I still need to do more research 😭 but I'm terrified of entering that sphere with the current debates of Yasuke (Nobunaga's retainer) on whether or not he's a samurai. Wish me luck y'all 🤞]

My idea of Bofurin in this AU would probably be a group of ronin (浪人, rōnin lit. wandering man; samurai who no longer had master or severed ties with his family/clan) who came together to protect Makochi. They probably had a lord ruling over Makochi beforehand and either died or was killed, and his remaining vassals (likely Umemiya and the rest) decided to take up the mantle of protecting the village. It would be interesting if Takiishi's group were the ones to kill the lord of Makochi for reasons (I'm not entirely sure of myself yet and neither do the characters) and later left with Endo and Noroshi in toe.

–

I'll definitely be writing more for this au, probably work out some kinks and have a proper setting of the time period since its kind of all over the place. Or I could mix match the time periods and be a catch all for just feudal Japan, and go for an inaccurate historical fiction type 😭. Maybe draw up some character designs too, emphasis on maybe. The research on this is gonna be killer, I swear and I'll probably go into a rabbit hole of knowledge that wouldn't even be necessary to the AU 😭.

If someone wants to brainrot this idea with me, feel free to cuz I would love to hear everyone else's thoughts and ideas on this.

[lyscot-blog]

I find adding scars to elves makes them 10x cooler. As a kid, Illidan is my warcraft 3 pick, I love it whenever Iorveth opens his mouth and Captain Mithrun is one of my all-time favourites. All of them have scars and all of them are hunters (demons or humans). Of course there are other scarred elves. But my love lies in the three. They have a common pattern be it by design or story arcs. But why? Why do I like this pattern so much? Let me try to justify myself to myself.

*Spoilers for Dungeon Meshi, Witcher 2 and Warcraft 3??? (not that heavy I guess, spoilers for Mithrun's past tho)

For my heart to elven scars, let’s talk about an archetype of elves. To be honest, I like dwarves more (love Senshi of course and Muradin). Elves are usually portrayed as the word "divine", attractive, forevermore, pure, vined and shaped with the letter V. They are humans but "better". An impossibly polished human. But maybe that’s why I find most elves boring. They're too clean, too good, too skilled. Many put elven flaws as being too prideful with their perfection that they refuse to lower their sharp noses for other races. Nothing more to that than an arrogant side character. I want more but for me they're either so perfect or have a veneer of perfection.

Elves with scars? The outer layer of perfection is slashed open. You can see the scars, the flesh, the mistakes, the flaws, and they bleed just as any other creature. It tells you a lot. To see a misfire and their eyes are often the target. Ethereal beauties with enchanting eyes and nigh accurate vision, gone. Scars runs down their face, forced to show their flaws. Their pride stripped away. Nothing left but a ruined elf. A mess in both appearance and style. Illidan overcomplicates himself, Iorveth’s wears ragged leftovers and Mithrun cannot do anything. But I much prefer this over the polished and decorate look of typical elves. It's like preferring to wear ripped jeans over a cleanly ironed skirt.

But ultimately they would despise whoever ripped them apart. Illidan, Iorveth and Mithrun are willing to sacrifice themselves to meet face to face with those that disfigured them, the enemy they vowed to rid the world of. The enemy that sought to ruin them forever, to ruin what makes an elf, an elf. Ostracizing them. Sparing them, reminding them. Morphing them into a vassal of vengeful vendetta, cynical and blunt. It will forever be a part of themself. But it's hard to say if they ever truly accept their scars. Still, they don’t care to keep up the elven grace and pride anymore, they are outsiders now. But they are not alone. They are leaders of their own group of course. Illidari, Scoiathel and Canaries are a collection of outcasts, far from perfect.  Though they might suffered alone back then, they found their own community and companions that accepts them. In each of their stories, they even found unlikely loyal allies (at least in a Witcher 2 path and Warcraft 3).

It’s still the rule of cool in the end, but I definitely will be attached to them as I dive deeper into their character. I root for those dead-focused haywired eyes. Getting myself so engrossed to see them being not so heroic, yet trying to their best to seek their own justice and self-worth.  They’re never truly aimless, they just need to find their target.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Imagine the platonic yanderes of Marvel with a bby who has power (a mutation, a gift from some magical artifact, enchanted jewelry, blessed/cursed, etc.) and has self esteem issues. This bby builds up everyone around them, compliment their style, telling them whenever they made a good decision, telling them that they appreciate them, calling them awesome/amazing/awe-inspiring, giving them nicknames, all the works... and then the platonic yandere/s find our their bby doesn't think they themself are all that great... It would make then stop short, confused. What do you mean, "not good enough?" Is their bby blind? They will ask their bby that, flabbergasted. And when their bby responds how they don't think they are all that great, how their power doesn't seem very useful, they struggle sometimes to appear put together for them, how they worry they aren't enough...

The platonic yandere/s tell them to please be quiet. Their bby is on the verge of tears, afraid that they are about to be waved off or ostracized... only to be told they are actually the team morale. That no one can compare to them. That the bby is someone who makes the platonic yandere/s feel worth it, let's them feel like they matter, who has given them love and attention even when they are at their worst, yet their bby never complains or yells at them or judges them for their flaws... if anything, their bby is one of the few reasons, the most important one, that keeps them going. What would they do without their love, their encouragement, their kind nature and their sweet words and warm laugh? And the platonic yans make sure that their bby knows how loved they are. After all, no one could ever dare to replace them.

• The ❤Avengers💙 bby is being hugged by the entire group. Family movie nights become a thing, as well as bonding activities like pillow forts, baking and cooking together, and reminding each other that they are on their side no matter what, rain or shine or Hydra. And if someone said something hurtful or back-handed to you, it looks like that person is about to be visited by an entire team of angry Avengers... it really isn't wise to be hateful towards their bby. Not if you don't want the Hulk, the God of Thunder, a spy, or a millionaire with enough money and machinery, to come knocking at their door. Looks like someone might be knocking at Heaven's door...

• 💙The X-Men💛 bby is getting reassured by everyone. No matter what their mutation is, their bby is an important team member, and is loved for how they help bring them all together. The team is most definitely having a few nights cuddled together in a blanket-covered dog pile, each person tangled together, with their bby at the center. They will make sure their bby is loved on, and whoever made them feel self-doubt is dealt with. And if that person/s is visited by one miffed off Wolverine, or mentally screwed with by Jean Grey or the Professor or any other telepath/mind-reader/mind-controller, well, what their bby doesn't know won't hurt them... same can't be said for whoever hurts their bby.

• 💚Guardians Of The Galaxy💜 bby is going to be told how wrong they are. That they are a LOVELY person, thank you very much, and that while they are right most of the time, this time they are wrong. They will remind their bby that they are an AWESOME, kick-*ss Guardian, who also hasn't tried to kill any of them before! The Guardians will recount (with jabs at each other) how their bby helped save the day (and how everyone else was a dumb*ss). They will fight whatever put the thought in their bby's head that they weren't good enough or worthy. (Yes. They would fight a child, a god, an entire alien planet, even a computer, if it said something that made you feel bad about yourself. And expect the team to also cheer you up with your own special gift. Be it a space gun, a bomb, your favorite dessert, or your own cassette tape dedicated to you, you are getting a gift).

These are just some of the platonic yandere Marvel groups. Not to mention the characters I've taken interest in, or the ones yet to be mentioned.

[starry-skies-116]

One thing that I think I want to establish in my Transformers AU is that literally all the techno-organics are just neurodivergent queer kids that are positively unhinged.

Sam is reclusive, eccentric and introverted, coming across as aloof and withdrawn. Yet he's compassionate and reliable, possessing all the true qualities of a leader- so much so that when he finally does start to see his merits, he's desperate to maintain those images to the point of overburdening himself constantly. He constantly builds walls between himself and his emotions, as he struggles with feeling and confronting them.

Jackson is passionate and precocious to the point of recklessness, always rushing into danger headfirst and acting without thinking of the consequences. However, as a scientist, he always learns from his mistakes, and his compassion and willingness to help changes those around him for the better. He's artistic, curious, cunning and ambitious- one who gets themselves into trouble often has to learn to get themselves out, after all. The problem is that years of loneliness and social ostracization have made him too self-reliant, to the point where he struggles with accepting love.

Sari, like Jackson and Sam, always seems to have her head in the clouds. She's altruistic, competitive and brave, acting like the 'youngest' of the group- she's able to adopt new skills quickly, determine other's problems, and has a passion for a variety of art mediums. She doesn't allow other people to diminish her skills or contributions, and grows frustrated when she sees Jackson and Sam take this kind of mistreatment lying down- she's essentially the emotional glue of the team, encouraging the rest of the team to be more honest with themselves and to more authentically express and communicate their true emotions and desires.

Noah (who is considerably younger in this AU- around his teens more specifically) is confident, impatient and blunt with quite the temper, never placing faith in other people and growing frustrated with shortcomings and misunderstandings. Similar to Sari, he doesn't tolerate any disrespect towards himself or those he cares about, sharply correcting any attempts to do so. He's vehemently anti-authoritarian and doesn't care about social status, even acting openly defiant towards the Maximals. He also suffers from a deep lack of empathy towards other people- however, he finds other ways to express his care for those he loves.

And as for what they have in common? Well, they're all nerds that hyperfixate on different things, ESPECIALLY pieces of media. They're all researchers and scientists that are hungry for more. They've all suffered some kind of past trauma. They're kids that struggle with being honest with themselves, with letting people in and swallowing their pride. They struggle with believing in themselves. They're lonely- they've always felt alone in the world. So when they find each other? They realize that maybe the universe isn't such a lonely place after all.

Also, they would definitely act like siblings that grew up together for their entire lives- even if they only knew each other for a day.

[skye707]

Sorry if this one is a little bit personal, but how would the Riddlers react to you coming out as autistic? I was diagnosed when I was really young and everytime I've told people, I've been immediately socially ostracized, no matter how hard I try, so I kind of want some comfort. Also thank you and I hope you have a nice day!!

I'm sorry to hear that people have been lame to you, but just know that in this town (e.g. my blog) we show love to all people 💙

Unburied - That's cool, he says kind of sing-songishly. Don't be fooled, he really is intrigued by this development in your character. To him, it's just something that makes you that much more interesting, more of a puzzle to solve.

ZY - Really? Oh, that's going to make this new friendship very stimulating. He likes having to work for an answer. Too often, people are dangerously easy to read. But you? He's going to take his time trying to figure out every angle of you, for better or worse.

Dano - Hm, thank you for telling him. He thought he could sense some kind of special connection between two people with similar experiences. btw, if you choose to tell him about your past trouble with social groups, he has immediately taken it upon himself to relieve your anxiety whenever possible. He will now stick up for you till the end.

YJ - Oh, you are? He didn't see that coming. I MEAN! It's fine that you are! He likes you better since you are! NO! That's not what he meant either!!- He just thinks it's cool to be around someone who sees the world a different way. Maybe someone who will see him a different way? cries

Gotham - Ah, I see, very interesting. Filing that one away in the "Things I Know About My Friends" cabinet. Like with most things, he wants to hear everything you can tell him, about your experiences, tendencies, etc.

BTAA - Finally! Someone who isn't just going to hit him with the same dumb questions (Why riddles? How'd you come up with your name? What's your show size?). He's gotten so bored with the general population. He welcomes your presence with open arms! Please! For the love of everything evil, say something that will make him have to think about an answer!!

Arkham - Join the club! I mean, he was never diagnosed (blame that on a very poor childhood), but I think most can agree that there are some indicators in his general behavior. He also finds difficulty in engaging in social interactions, so that's something you two can bond over. Right after you hand him that wrench and make it snappy.

BTAS - At first, it's not something he thinks about too much. Just another aspect of your character to consider. But then he realizes that you're different and in a very delightful way. You see his puzzles differently. Finish his games in a different way. Look at things from vibrantly new angles. And suddenly, he wants you around all the time when he's up to his newest scheme.

Telltale - Interesting, and what does that mean? He's not trying to be an asshole (even if it looks and sounds that way). He wants to hear from your mouth what that means for you. In his own strange and standoffish way, he's trying to get to know you better. Whether that's for your or his benefit is yet to be seen, but ya know.

[dark-elf-writes]

Little Cloud with a bunch of babies crawling after him whenever he goes to sleep.

Him trying to tell people and getting further ostracized for it.

Not only is he just chronically unable to make friends at home, he’s also the “crazy guy” that hears voices in his head and sees people that don’t exist.

Him feeling completely unable to fit in since being the oldest of a group of mostly neglected kids ages you.

None of them with any clue why they’re together. Not until cloud stands before Sephiroth and defeats him for the second time.

Cloud being half-there and half-not almost full time while he had mako poisoning

Nsnxnxbbxbxhd wait wait wait I was thinking about them being the age of when their “Chosenness” kicked in but this so jsjfndndndn

Little Cloud who doesn’t understand his dreams or why every few years or so a new baby shows up in them but he does know that they all seek him out and press close. Some of them like they have never been held before and want it so desperately even if it terrifies them at the same time.

Little Cloud who made the mistake of mentioning the dreams to someone other than his mother once and was mocked for being the crazy kid on top of being a Strife Bastard.

Cloud as he grows older maturing far faster than anyone else in his age group both from helping his mother nearly every waking hour and trying to raise these kids, his kids, when asleep.

Cloud going to Shinra both to become a SOLDIER (from what he’s been able to glean from the kid’s home lives he needs to be stronger. To be the strongest. They need him to be able to protect them) and if anyone would know how to figure out the whole inter dimensional thing it would be someone at Shinra right?

Cloud who never finds answers before he has to kill Sephiroth the first time with ash and mako fumes in his throat and hands that are far steadier than they should be as he shoves the buster sword through Sephiroth. As he drags himself down he length of masamune swearing that he won’t leave the kids yet.

Cloud who is a constant if a bit hazy presence for years as he drifts from the mako poisoning. Seeing new kids arrive and wondering why they are all here. While these dreams exist. Where this place between is.

Cloud who realizes the same time he realizes that no one else is able to kill sephiroth. The same time Harry tells them about the man who killed his parents. The same time Naruto tells them about the dragon locked inside of him the same time-

Cloud has never been a believer in gods or fate or much of anything other than what he could touch and that the kids in his dreams needed him. He new, however, believes any Fate that does exist is a real bitch and will be answering to him sooner rather than later

[germiyahu]

Can

Can I say, from an atheist perspective? I think it’s rather self centered to assume atheist feel like they’re “missing something” because they arent part of an ancient bronze age belief system or traditions.

Like, we don’t need it to feel valuable and important, I at least am not jealous and don’t think that your religion is free of the same trappings that every other religion has.

This idea that atheists are “missing something” or are “jealous” of people, especially people as you’ve said have religious trauma related to Judaism yet apparently still “interact with the religion” seems kinda self centered? Like, there are Jewish atheists out there who do consider themselves to no longer be part of the religion.

To be fair I am not a Jewish raised atheist, or Jewish atheist as I’m aware those aren’t considered contradictory, etc, so admittedly I can’t speak for them.

But I can also say they atheists don’t need to have suffered religious trauma to be atheists,

So like, we agree your religion isn’t leftist but I think you missed OP’s point

No, you cannot. Nothing you're saying here relates at all to anything I've claimed or talked about. You're grasping at straws, and trying to make me into a strawman that makes strawmen out of atheists. Like are you okay?

Either go back and reread my posts more closely or stop embarrassing yourself. I guess I'll just tell you what I think as I doubt you'll actually do either.

Most American atheists are not born into some kind of autochthonous atheist community, they are born into religious families and later drift away from those religions and become disillusioned with them. Many don't have the kind of religious trauma I describe but many do. I suspect you're one of the former because that group invariably has a huge chip on their shoulders about religious people saying anything about atheists. And from the little pot shots you take at a religion I'm earnestly converting to, that answers that doesn't it? You're very hurt and offended.

Jews are not just a religion, but a people. The vast majority of atheist Jews are still 100% connected to Jewish institutions, still practice Jewish culture (which is often pretty indistinguishable from worship to an outsider), and are still involved in Jewish communities that include religious Jews. This is not really a problem for anyone outside of really stringent Orthodox communities perhaps. There are Jews with religious trauma but, if this kind of thing were measured scientifically, I'd bet my life savings it's at a much lower rate than former Christians. The amount of Jews who leave a toxic community but then never again interact with any other Jews is vanishingly small.

Contrast this with an ex Christian, who can go their whole life avoiding churches, Christian events, overtly religious Christians trying to preach to them, and can find community with like minded people and continuing to practice their values and their general American culture more or less the same.

An atheist Jew, even one with trauma, even one who has completely disavowed Judaism as an organized religion, is just not the same kind of person as an ex Christian atheist who has all the same trauma and animosity. These are different experiences. The mere fact that atheist Jews are still calling themselves Jews as opposed to ex Christians who just call themselves atheists should tell you a lot.

A lot of non Jewish atheists are exposed to Jews who share in their values and politics, and I have observed noticeable envy for the fact that these Jews have genuine religious/cultural experiences that reinforce and support their politics, not just awkwardly tolerate them. I'm not claiming these atheists yearn for God or wish to be Jews, but they envy the lack of religious trauma that a lot of Jews have. They envy that these left wing Jews have families and communities that don't ostracize them for their nonconformity, or even agree with them outright. The envy has nothing to do with an organized religion and everything to do with a cultural group of people. Throw in all the misconceptions and mistruths about Jews and Judaism that (ex) Christians have/say and it's a big mess.

I myself have been an atheist for like a decade. I haven't followed an organized religion nor felt any kind of spirituality within myself. My reasons for gravitating toward Judaism are complicated and I'm not obligated to share them with non Jews. But I do not think atheists are stupid or unfulfilled in life you fucking goober.

You are correct that an atheist doesn't need to be fleeing religious trauma to have their beliefs. The "facts and logic" atheist typecast as a smug "debate pervert" is pretty common too. And this group too looks upon Jews who do not eschew "bronze age belief systems" with disdain. They're uncomfortable that people who are just as smart and educated as them, who care about logic and reasoning just as much as them, who fight for the same political goals as them, believe in the quote unquote same ~*fairy tales*~ that they rejected growing up.

So no, I did not miss anyone's point. Non Jewish atheists are very incapable of being normal about Jewish people when they grew up in a philosemitic Christian society, and all the baggage, projection, envy, scapegoating, and resentment that entails. Jews, Jewish atheists, left wing Jews, whatever, were not the Christians who hurt you, and they're not the Christians you look down on as stupid yokels either. A lot of atheists have a lot of feelings to unpack and process when it comes to Christians long before they have the right to say anything about Jews or Judaism lol!

[crystallinestars]

Hello! I stumbled upon your blog (I dunno still pretty new to tumblr despite being here for years. I don't interact much >_<) while gobbling up the Avenstelle buffet here in tumblr <3.

Anyways. I read the anons asks and your response and omygosh…I've never felt such a relief to find people who shares the same sentiments T_T. Especially the ones with Kaveh and Alhaitham? Gosh. I've never felt so validated about my feelings. Let me get started with Alhaitham.

Okay so in gacha games, (wuwa, hsr, gi, ak, r1999, etc.), I'm a husbando collector. I love collecting the men because they're hot and my eyes love them lol. So…essentially, I also pulled for Alhaitham. I loved him so much, like his personality, his design…I'm smitten. But after how I am bombarded with haikaveh shipping almost every socmed I go, twt mostly, I began to loathe it. Like, I don't really care about shipping. The shipping I only liked is Avenstelle in hsr, yet the incessant shoving of Haikaveh as canon to my face, even though they are not really canonized, just turned me off with Alhaitham, and subsequently, Kaveh as well even though I wanna love him too :(.

It makes me sad that the fandom pushes the only "correct way" to see this characters. How about us, who just wants to have some pixel husbandos for ourselves (lol sorry for the self insert). Kaveh also looks nice and he seems nice and I wanna love him too seeing as we are of the same profession (I'm an architecture student, hopefully passing our thesis and graduating next year!). I am also still on a mission of finding his mom in Fontaine rn (still waiting, hoyo, still waiting…)

Anyways, I am truly glad to see the same sentiments and knowing that I am not alone in noticing this toxicity happening in the fandom coz, what happened to platonic relationships? I dunno, but I really wanna see a heartmelting one and not a shipping one. Aaa I rambled too much haven't I? I'm nervous since this is my first asks. But I just wanna say that you made me feel safe and my heart is overjoyed. Thank you so much. <3 I'm gonna go for now because it's 12:51 am in my country and I need to sleep hahaha! Have a great day!

(Ah, may I please be 🌊 anon? Thankiees!)

Hello 🌊 anon! Thank you for working up the courage and taking the time to write to me. It made me so happy to read that my discussions with other anons made you feel safe. You are definitely not alone in feeling ostracized by the loud portion of fandom. And oh my gosh, you're an architecture student?! That's so cool! Good luck on passing your thesis!

I completely relate to your feeling of losing the love you had for a character due to their popular ship. I'm a Kaveh girlie, but I also like Alhaitham quite a lot since he's a very interesting and relatable character. Unfortunately, the prominence of haikaveh on every social media I visit, and the obnoxious claims of shippers that they're undoubtedly canon, tainted my view of him. I want to love Haitham, but some days it can be hard because seeing him triggers some negative feelings, though I try to push them down. I didn't care for the ship originally, but the behaviours of it's shippers really ruined my perception of it and BL as a whole.

It's only natural you feel that way since so much of the fandom looks down on self-shipping and gatekeeps characters from us. The way Mihoyo handles Haitham and Kaveh in particular doesn't help the situation for yumejoshi, which makes it feel worse.

The only way I find I can have fun is to block and mute all accounts who support the ships I don't like, and peacefully enjoy the content I like. Don't look at comments or the character tags for the sake of your mental health. It sucks that you have to restrict yourself so heavily, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do to keep yourself happy.

If you want to find more people with similar sentiments, feel free to join my discord group! There are lots of people who share your views (and who love Alhaitham), and we also have discussions about fandom and characters, and share fanart and fics. It's a bit like a support group for those of us terrorized by the toxicity of fandom. If you don't want to join, that's perfectly fine. No pressure.

I'm glad you found me, though I'm really curious how that happened lol I don't post any Avenstelle here (though my twt is basically pure Avenstelle and Kavehlumi), so it's a wonder how you found my blog by browsing Avenstelle posts. Regardless, welcome! I'm happy to have you here 😊