#They grow much longer than they are drawn here for comedic effect

[kittygamesda]

Rebel's Voices of the Cold, Broken, and Contrarian :)

[fuckyeahscienceparty]

Burning Question

"No, it's fine, you were just curious. What kind of hypocrite would I be if I disallowed curiosity?"

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aka i got sick of seeing fics abt any of the mercs being trans that were also super fetishistic so :V some soft stuff ft pining engie

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It was only after an experiment gone wrong had caused Medic's shirt to catch fire that Engie had ever seen him shirtless.

Not that he was actually itching to see him so, just that it kind of amused him when he ran to get the fire extinguisher he kept in the corner of the room only to turn around and see that Medic had practically thrown his shirt off and was stomping at the flames until they'd all gone out.

They both took a moment to stare at the smoking heap of what used to be a slightly crumpled dress shirt before Engie sprayed at it anyways for comedic effect, eliciting a giggle out of his lab partner and making Engie smile in turn.

He had to admit, Medic was rather.... attractive under all those layers he wore.

Muscular but not in a body builder way, more so for.... practicality. Which was always something Engie could appreciate, in more ways than one. He was also starting to go soft around the middle in a way that, for lack of other coherent thought, really made him want to give him a squeeze.

His eyes were also drawn to all the scars that covered his body. All the mercs had their fair share (respawn wasn't Perfect after all) but it wasn't much of a surprise that Medic would have more than the rest of them considering he was a prime target for getting murdered.

What he really noticed, though, was the two somewhat faded scars that ran on either side of his chest and towards his back, ones he clearly hadn't gotten from any sort of battle encounter.

Medic eventually noticed him staring, squinting slightly as he tried to decipher what exactly Engie was looking at. When he realized he seemed sort of... self conscious, suddenly clasping his hands together in order to get his attention.

Engie blinked.

"Shucks, Doc, I- I'm sorry-"

"It's fine, I'll be. Uhm. Back," Medic said hurriedly, picking up the remnants of his shirt and his vest and tie before making his way out of the workshop and towards his quarters before Engie had any sort of time to object.

Engie sighed before swearing under his breath.

He turned back to what was their shared workspace, scratching the back of his neck before moving to start cleaning up the mess they'd made.

It was after several minutes that he'd noticed Medic had returned, having come back after changing into a t-shirt and pajama pants. He'd been sort of waiting in the doorframe, Engie beckoning him in as he closed up his tool box.

It was a little while before either of them spoke, both of them wordlessly moving around to put various things away.

Engie cleared his throat.

"So uh. You're trans?"

"...Yes, yes I am."

"How come you never said anything? You know I am too."

"I know, I just don't- ahem. Like. People. Knowing things about me," Medic stumbled out, still avoiding Engie's gaze as he separated their notes into two different piles, one of rejects to be shredded and the other of things to save for later.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't've stared-"

"No, it's fine, you were just curious. What kind of hypocrite would I be if I disallowed curiosity?" Medic chuckled, though he still seemed a bit uneasy.

"Yeah but if you don't want to talk about it then I shouldn't make you talk about it," Engie frowned as he flipped through the shred pile to make sure nothing salvageable had made its way in there.

"I've noticed you're kinda private about stuff. If being trans is something you don't wanna share with other people then I shouldn't have made a big deal out of it."

"But you didn't. I'm the one who made a big deal out of it, literally all you did was look which is, to my knowledge, not a crime."

Engie tried to open his mouth again to argue but Medic quickly pinched his lips shut and gave him a Look signifying that he wanted to drop it.

He held his hands up.

"Ok, ok, I give."

"Thank you."

The two of them returned to their silence as Medic took back the shred pile and opened Engie's desk drawer of other stuff that needed to be shredded, Engie himself clearing off all the scrap metal and putting them into the large container he kept them in. It was only after they'd finished cleaning that either of them had spoken, the both of them sort of awkwardly standing next to each other for a while.

"Hey Doc, I uh..."

"Yes?"

"I really am sorry, even if you think I have nothing to be sorry for. If you ever want to talk about stuff, know that I'm here for you but if you don't, then that's fine too. You're my friend. And I care about you," He said softly.

Medic pursed his lips as he mulled over what to say.

"...Thank you, Herr Engineer. I think I'll uhm. Be on my way now," Was what he ended up deciding on. Engie bowed his head slightly and nodded, about to turn and leave himself.

However, he was dissuaded by the feeling of two strong arms suddenly wrapping around him, having to take a moment to process that he was being hugged before he reciprocated.

The two of then admittedly stayed like that for a little longer than either expected but even when Medic had pulled away, it still didn't feel like long enough. He ended up hesitating before leaning down and softly head bumping him, Engie letting out an amused huff as he did so.

"I'll see you tomorrow. Get some rest soon or I'll hit you so hard you won't have a choice but to," He started gently, corners of his mouth turning upwards as he mockingly threatened him. Engie chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"Ok, ok, I will. Sleep well, Doc. See you tomorrow," He smiled, waving as Medic made his way out again.

When he was sure he was out of earshot, Engie let out a sigh, rubbing his face as he fumbled in his pocket for the keys to the workshop door and walked over to the lights to turn them off.

With all the thoughts swimming in his head, he wasn't exactly sure if he'd be getting any sleep that night. But he had to admit, lying awake in bed for hours and thinking about his unfortunately growing affections for his questionably qualified teammate wasn't exactly the worse option in the world.

[captains-log-reviews]

Disney’s Peter Pan (1953)

Summary/Overview:

I’ve been considering a Hook-themed review blog for some time now, and what better way to start off than with the classic 1953 Disney film? Originally slated to be Disney’s second animated film after Snow White, the idea for a production of Peter Pan was in Walt’s mind long before it hit the big screen. Walt himself had played Peter in a school play as a boy and had retained a fondness for the story ever since. The first major film version to feature a boy (Bobby Driscoll) in the titular role, Disney’s Peter Pan has since become perhaps even more widely known than Barrie’s original. That being said, I think it’s probably unnecessary to give much in the way of a summary, but for the sake of developing a consistent format for my reviews, here’s the super quick version:

Wendy Darling, a young girl with an active imagination and a love for storytelling, is distraught when her practical father decides that it is time for her to grow up and move out of the nursery with her brothers. Later that night, after her parents have gone out, Peter Pan—the flying boy hero of Wendy’s stories—shows up at her window and offers to take her and her brothers to Neverland, a magical island with mermaids, “Indians,” and pirates where they will never grow up. Unfortunately the kids get caught up in the plans of Captain Hook, who wants revenge on Peter for cutting off his hand and feeding it to a crocodile. Ultimately, Hook captures the children and nearly kills Peter with a bomb in the guise of a present from Wendy, but Tinkerbell, Peter’s loyal fairy friend, saves him just in the nick of time, allowing Peter to free the children from Hook’s crew and fight the captain in a final duel that results in Hook being chased off into the sunset by the crocodile. Wendy and her brothers return home safely, and Wendy realizes that she isn’t so afraid of growing up anymore...only to have her father admit that maybe holding onto her childhood a little bit longer wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.

What I Liked:

Those of you who followed me over here from my other Hook blog, not-wholly-unheroic, already know that I am more than slightly biased when it comes to Disney’s Hook. I distinctly remember the first time I saw him on screen when I was twelve. The sequel had just come out on video, and ABC was doing its usual Sunday Disney movie (and advertising) by showing the original Peter Pan one weekend, followed by the sequel the next. I was bored and had never watched the film before, so I decided to give it a shot...and I was instantly struck by how different Hook was from any Disney villain I’d previously encountered. While most of the classic villains are motivated by greed, vanity, or the desire for power, Hook’s feud with Pan is at least somewhat justified considering he not only lost a hand but also faces the constant threat of the crocodile as a result of our supposed hero’s actions. Additionally, prior to Peter Pan, Disney’s major villains (Queen Grimhilde/The Evil Queen, Lady Tremaine, the Queen of Hearts) were typically rather flat and lacking in personality. We see only their wicked side (or in the case of “Man” in Bambi, we don’t see them at all!). Hook is a major departure from this trend in that while he is clearly made out to be the bad guy, we also see him in moments of fear, weakness, and self-doubt. We see him sick and in pain and ready to give up at times. Suddenly, he isn’t just a villain anymore... He’s a person we can empathize with. Walt himself recognized that the audience would “get to liking Hook” would not want him to die as he does in Barrie’s canon, opting instead to have him “going like hell” to get away from the crocodile but ultimately still very much alive at the end of the film.

Aside from Hook himself, I love the dynamic he has with Mr. Smee. While Hook admittedly doesn’t treat Smee well, there is clearly a bond of trust between them. Early on in the film, for instance, Smee prepares to shave Hook with a straight razor. It’s a moment that is ultimately used for comedic effect, but when one considers that Hook has a crew full of literal cutthroats, it says a lot about Smee that Hook feels totally at ease with this man putting a blade to his neck. Smee repeatedly attempts to intervene to save Hook when he doesn’t have to, and Hook unfailingly looks to Smee when he’s afraid for his life or when he needs to send someone out to complete an important mission for him. It’s a villain/sidekick dynamic that borders on friendship, and I think it adds a lot to the film and to Hook’s complexity as a character.

As far as artistic choices go, it is a rather minor thing, but I love that they kept the stage tradition of using the same actor for both Mr. Darling and Captain Hook, giving the film a rather dreamlike feel and subtly reinforcing the enmity Wendy feels toward her father in real life as she faces off against Hook in the Neverland. Speaking of the actor, Hans Conried isn’t just voice for Hook, as many would assume... He IS Hook as much as any live-action actor could be. I love the old hand-drawn animation style and how they used to use the actors as live-action reference models. (You can see some shots of Hans as the reference model vs the final images of Hook in the film here.) If you’ve ever seen a recording of Hans in one of his other roles, you’ll notice he doesn’t just SOUND like Hook...he makes the same facial expressions (particularly in how he speaks with his eyebrows) and hand/arm motions. It’s small details like this that make Hook (and all the characters) more human and show just how much time, effort, and love the animators put into their work.

What I Didn’t Like:

RACISM. With a capital “R.” There’s no sugar-coating it. Unfortunately, Disney’s film falls victim one of the many problematic tropes of the time when it was made and portrays the island’s native characters as highly caricatured, ignorant, and—in the case of Tiger Lily—romantically exotic people. Their signature song, “What Made the Red Man Red” is lyrically painful to modern listeners with any sense of decency, and the villagers’ character design—from their bright red skin to their large noses and often extreme body shapes (very fat or pencil thin)—along with their badly broken English is highly uncomfortable, to say the least. On the other hand, Tiger Lily, the most realistically drawn native character, is shown dancing flirtatiously for Peter and subsequently rubbing noses with him in what is meant to be a sort of native kiss (based on the concept of the “Eskimo kiss” which in and of itself is not a politically correct term).

Aside from the glaringly obvious issue of racism, my only real complaint with the Disney film is the music. While the songs are pretty standard for films of the day, I personally don’t find most of the music particularly memorable or catchy. “You Can Fly” is alright, I suppose, but the next few songs have their issues. “Following the Leader” and “What Made the Red Man Red” both have racist undertones, and Wendy’s lullaby, “Your Mother and Mine” puts the kids to sleep for a reason... It’s sweet but rather boring and drags on for far too long to keep the audience’s attention. Less time on the lullaby and more pirate sea shanties, please!

On the flip side, Hook is arguably the first Disney villain to get his own theme song, which is pretty cool. The original pirate song (which you can find here) is a bit more sedate than “The Elegant Captain Hook” we end up with and focuses more on the joys of pirating in general than why Hook, specifically, is someone the kids should want to work for. Personally, I’m glad they chose the song that they did, though I do wish they’d given Hook more lines as originally planned. (You can find the lyrics to the full version here.)

Would I recommend it?

Despite its flaws, Disney’s Peter Pan has had a major impact on the legacy of Peter Pan and how we view the characters as well as Neverland itself. It has long been a personal favorite of mine and acted as a gateway into the fandom for me. It introduced me to Hook as a likable, sympathetic, and complex villain and I’ll always be grateful for that. I definitely recommend it to anyone entering the fandom, those with a fondness for the nostalgia of classic Disney films, and kids at heart of all ages.

Overall Rating:

As much as I love the film and want to give it a perfect score, I’d be remiss if I didn’t deduct at least a few points for the depiction of the “Indians.” Otherwise a lovely version of the story so... 4/5 stars

[crusherthedoctor]

Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 10: INFINITE

There are some villains I like. And there are some villains I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.

This is a series of mine in which I go into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the villains in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>

Anyhow, for today’s installment, we’ll be sharpening our blades and resisting the pain as we discuss what it takes to be the right-hand henchman of Sonic Forces: Infinite.

The Gist: Dr. Eggman was minding his evildoing business when one day, from thin air emerged a particularly strange jewel that seemed to be drawn to him. Realising this was no mere Chaos Emerald, due to both its peculiar shape and its bizarre reality-distorting effects, Eggman immediately contemplated how he could effectively utilise this new gemstone for his purposes.

Suddenly, jackals!

“Go forth, Red Shirts!”

Eggman's base was under attack by the imaginatively titled Jackal Squad, a group of thieving mercenaries who figured they could profit from the theft of the doctor's equipment. Unfortunately for them, Eggman had Main Character Immunity, so their efforts to kill him send him to the Shadow Realm fell flat. Despite nearly getting killed by them, Eggman knew an opportunity when he saw one, and he offered the role of apprenticeship to the squad's heterochromia-inflicted leader. His fellow jackals insisted not to take up the offer, because even they knew the risks, but the leader signed up immediately, because he's not all right in the head if you know what I'm saying.

In a cruel twist of fate, Eggman's first request for his new stooges was for them to take care of Shadow the Hedgehog. That Shadow the Hedgehog. Ultimate Lifeform Shadow the Hedgehog. Fast, immortal, capable of stopping time, drops his bracelets to grow even stronger Shadow the Hedgehog. They had to defeat that Shadow the Hedgehog.

They did not succeed.

BOOOONESAAAAAW’S READYYYYYYYY

After metaphorically and literally murdering the rest of the already forgotten squad, Shadow gave some parting words to their defeated leader, and those parting words were responsible for what happened next, and everything after. As someone who prided himself on being the ultimate mercenary, Mr. Jackal was bloody well peeved off about coming to terms with his physical shortcomings, and thus decided to give himself an upgrade in the form of sticking a gem on his chest, putting on a mask worthy of a heavy metal cover, and rechristening himself as... Infinite. Infinite power. Infinite possibilities. Infinite memes.

The upgrade paid off. With the aid of the gem, known to us as the Phantom Ruby, Eggman's latest minion was able to distort the environment, summon past foes, and do what no other villain not retconned out of existence had ever managed to achieve: defeat Sonic the Hedgehog.

Eggman was delighted. The past foes were delighted too, as evidenced by how they stood there to take it all in.

This is a very sentimental moment for them.

With Sonic out of the way, Eggman was able to take over 99% of the planet, because Sonic's friends were tragically all on holiday at the same time. During the subsequent six months of suffering and strife, Infinite relished in the doctor's conquest, but not as much as he relished in killing and terrorizing innocents. One incident in particular involved him leaving behind a scared youngster for the sake of letting them know fear. This would turn out to be a big mistake on his part, when - with the ever reliable power of friendship - said youngster would go on to oppose him as part of the Resistance. (This franchise isn't known for creative group names.)

“L’Oreal: Because I’m not weak.”

The formerly incapacitated Sonic also managed to eventually break free from his captivity, and proceeded to do what he does best alongside his new friend. Infinite was having none of this, and so he made absolutely certain to... leave him alive. Despite Eggman's insistence that a freed Sonic could cause as much trouble as a freed Sonic could in every other situation since 1991, Infinite remained confident that he couldn't be beaten. Three guesses for how that turned out. The first two don't count.

He was serious about crushing the Resistance though, and together with Eggman, not only did they summon a whole army of clones, they also summoned an artificial sun that, upon reaching the ground, would ensure the Resistance would meet a terrible fate. Good always triumphs however, and the clones were fought, the sun was vanquished, and Infinite himself was defeated once and for all.

It was at this point that Eggman decided to reveal that Infinite was a sham, a distraction, a red herring. For all his power, Infinite was little more than a glorified mook the whole time. Infinite was never the doctor's endgame. He was. Infinite didn't even have true mastery over the Phantom Ruby... but he did.

Death Chad Robot.

In just a few minutes, Eggman tapped into the power of the Ruby more than Infinite ever did, and overclocked it to turn his Doc Ock-looking mech into a beast. But through thick and thin (and a second Nega-Wisp Armor), Sonic and his ambiguously named friend teamed up to take the madman down, because we're Sonic Heroes.

The world was saved from further tyranny, and Eggman went on to either lose his memory or shrug it off to take part in racing spinoffs depending on the continuity. But Infinite - or rather, the jackal who called himself Infinite - remains absent. He could be alive. He could be dead. He could finally get a haircut. His fate is a mystery that we may never know the answer to. Maybe he's spending his retirement climbing the tallest of mountains.

The Design: Careful you don't cut yourself with all this edge.

You could have gotten yourself an eyepatch for half the price.

Demonic eyes, dark colours, anime hair... he's a villain alright. Infinite's design is unashamed of itself. It knows it's ridiculous, and it goes all out with it, which - let's be frank - matches the character in general pretty reasonably. Funnily enough, I don't have much else to say about it. It's not my favourite character design in the world, but I can credit them for pioneering loudspeaker ears. And at least he's not a hedgehog. Or an echidna.

If you listen carefully, you can hear Shadow sighing in relief under the knowledge that he's no longer the edgiest guy in the room.

The Personality: What's an easy way to make a villain a villain? By making them pointlessly sadistic, of course.

"You may call this the Sonic Chronicles soundtrack... in the brief moments that remain to your eardrums."

And I don't speak lightly when I say pointless. Infinite's penchant for sadism is actually treated as a character flaw, as it contributes heavily to his ultimate downfall. He wastes time by drawing out his kills, and his decision to leave his greatest foes alive because they're supposedly "not worth killing" bites him in the ass on more than one occasion. Even Eggman calls him out on his shitty decisions.

"Don't get cocky with me, son. This ain't the Adventure Era anymore.”

And this ties in with how he is in general. Infinite, for all his delusions of grandeur and nihilistic waxing, is a bit of a fuck up. Him and his squad combined couldn't even take on Eggman on his own (albeit with a Phantom Ruby in his possession), and when the mask comes on, it becomes clear that he only defeated Sonic through the element of unfamiliarity. Once Sonic starts to know about him and fights him for real, Infinite doesn't rely on the Phantom Ruby nearly as well as he could. He has a jewel that can do all sorts of distortions, and all he can think to do with it is use basic lasers and blasts for the most part. He's a thug at the end of the day. A powerful thug, but a thug all the same.

Despite this, though it's only hinted here and there, it seems that he has an Inferiority Superiority Complex. His passionate response to Shadow calling him pathetic (ironically, he never actually said he was weak) goes without saying, but then there's his dramatic speeches about having no hope, and how you can't count on anyone, and blah blah blah eat a Snickers already.

The Execution: Much like Erazor Djinn, you may have gathered that this character has a lot in common with everyone's favourite Ice Age antique, Mephiles the Dark. Like Erazor, Infinite is a better (albeit flawed) take on Mephiles' schtick, but whereas Erazor better emulates the success that Mephiles tried to go for, Infinite better represents the failure that Mephiles actually is... right down to showing how Silver would react if he had actual brain cells.

Above: Character development.

Hell, they both share the fate of getting swatted by Omega.

Not bitter at all.

Anyway, to explain this requires some elaboration. I'm aware that a lot of what I've said about Infinite sounds negative, and that's not entirely untrue, since I'll be the first to admit that he could have been handled a little better, and fleshed out a bit more, especially with all the pre-release hype and attention he was given. At the same time however, he's still leagues above the likes of Mephiles, for one simple reason that we discussed previously: his incompetence is intentional.

Maybe not fully - the pre-Infinite breakdown probably wasn't meant to be as comedic as it ended up being - but you can't tell me his setbacks weren't there on purpose. Eggman lost the war because Infinite left his enemies alive and free. Eggman lost the war because Infinite clumsily left a Phantom Ruby replica behind. Eggman lost the war because Infinite kept messing around when he had better things to do, didn't know what to do other than blindly attack when the chips were down, and got disposed of with little fanfare by the doctor after having failed him enough times. Compare all this to Eggman himself in the same game, who despite being known for his childishness and occasional shortsightedness, had a lot of genuine foresight to share around, and went from backup plan to backup plan like it was nothing.

In other words, Infinite could be seen as a well-needed deconstruction of villains like Mephiles, and why they're not as great as they look at first glance. And in that respect, he's kind of a genius concept.

“Ugh, MORE shitty friends...”

Infinite is a very divisive character, and I can see why. Alongside his far from perfect execution, many fans were expecting and hoping for a straight example of late 00's Sonic villains, in part because that's what the marketing and his infamous theme song set him up as and partly because '06 is now considered better than everything afterwards because Baldy McNosehair is literally oppressing all Sonic fans across the world. If you're like me on the other hand, and don't have the slightest unironic interest in those kind of villains, you can probably respect Infinite a little more for addressing the elephant in the room. And even though he is indeed flawed, I think most of that has to do with the wasted potential of the plot itself rather than anything inherently to do with Infinite's own character.

He's no Eggman, Erazor, Metal Sonic, or Hard-Boiled Heavies. But he's above Mephiles, Black Doom, Eggman Nega, and so many others who blend together after a while. Still, maybe someone should assist Shadow the next time he decides to insult somebody.

Crusher Gives Infinite a: Thumbs Sideways!

[twilightoftheapprentice]

Top 12 Pixar movies that will make you cry, ranked in order of how much they’ll make you cry

12. Cars 3

I am ashamed to admit that I shed a tears the first time I watched this movie. There’s nothing quite like the disappointment you feel in yourself after you cry during a Cars movie. It was not as effective as it could have been with a minor change to the ending, but between all those flashbacks of Doc, who has died but still has more of a presence than many of the living characters, and Cruz’s story arc, which was easily the most satisfying aspect of the movie, there was... something there. 1/10 - a humiliating cry that will make you feel bad about yourself

11. Wall-E Who knew you could develop such a compelling relationship with no dialogue except for the characters names. The scene where EVE thinks WALL-E doesn’t know her is perfect with its building suspense and lingering shots on the characters’ eyes. The moment where EVE tries to float away but WALL-E won’t let go of her hand? Poetic cinema. 2/10 - I’ve never cried during this movie but I know people who have

10. Monsters Inc. So overall, this is not a particularly emotional movie. Pixar was going for more of a light, fun, quirky tone at the time, and it was doing its job well, but the scene where Sully has to leave Boo at least gets it on the list. They did a really good job developing this relationship without you even realizing they were doing it until it was at its emotional climax. Solid groundwork for their later movies, where character and relationship development is central. 3/10 - ekes out a couple tears at the end 

9. Brave Generally not cryable. Has one scene where I teared up the first time or two I watched it. Maybe it would be different for people with more difficult relationships with their mothers? Idk, if the scene where she thinks her mother is permanently a bear had gone on a little longer, I probably would have cried more. I feel like this one really sacrificed what could have been an extremely emotionally compelling story for comedic bear hijinks. 4/10 - minimally cryable on first watch 

8. Finding Nemo The Pixar team were on us right from the beginning with this one. Killing Marlon’s entire family except for Nemo in the first five minutes of an animated children’s cartoon? Bold. One could even say fearless. Introducing the idea of a fish real estate market? Even more so. It really puts Marlon’s overprotective nature and desperation at realizing Nemo was missing into context. It wasn’t easy, but they knew what they needed to do and they did it.  5/10 - they knew they wanted our tears and they wasted no time

7. The Good Dinosaur Overall, this is not one of Pixar’s strongest entries, and given its subject matter, it did not make me cry as much as it should have. Arlo’s whole character arc is learning to overcome his fears and learn how to help keep his family afloat after his father dies. There was a lot of potential here for a real emotional gut punch, and the movie just never quite followed through on it, but the moment where Arlo has to say goodbye to Spot and then immediately gets to leave his mark hits the notes it needed to. Considering the content and overall tone of the movie, the real failing would have been if it hadn’t drawn out any tears at all. 6/10 - no more effective than it needed to be

6. Toy Story 2 “When she loved me” gets me every time. Jessie’s lasting emotional damage over being given away by Emily was the perfect foil to Woody’s complete optimism that Andy would never forget about him. I feel guilty about even forgetting about clothes in my closet, and maybe watching this scene at the age of seven had something to do with that? Anyway, the fact that this montage was so geared towards making me personally cry at a time when Pixar wasn’t really trying to hit that tone with it’s movies is really fantastic. I would expect something like this out of 2016 Pixar, not 1999 Pixar. 8/10 - a cry ahead of it’s time

5. Finding Dory Pixar’s strongest non-Toy Story sequel is just so heartwarming? There were several scenes that packed a punch, from the flashbacks of Dory’s parents, to Dory wondering if her parents will want to see her, to the final, beautiful reunion. The cool thing is that they all hit different emotional cues that make you cry for different reasons. At this point, Pixar has already made a deal with the devil to learn the ins and outs of our emotions and is in its cryable prime. 10/10 - a wholesome cry

4. Inside Out After a series of weaker movies, Inside Out was really Pixar’s return to glory, and boy did it pack an emotional punch. It’s got impressive world-building and some pretty serious subject matter, laying the groundwork for Coco. Inside Out’s big themes were change and growing up, and it even dealt with depression. Because it took place inside someone’s head, the emotional sucker punches were deeply relatable. The fact that they were able to pull this off speaks to how well they’ve learned our emotions and how to manipulate them.  100/10 - an intelligent, feel-good cry

3. Toy Story 3 All the Toy Story movies have high emotional stakes, by the most recent installment in Pixar’s strongest franchise is the only one that’s truly heartbreaking. You only cry once, but you sob. Here, Pixar capitalizes on the fact the fact that we’d been watching Woody trying to get back to Andy for literally fifteen years by making us watch Andy give him away. It deserves an extra point the fact that they timed its release so the kids who grew up watching Toy Story would the same age Andy is in the movie. 487/10 - a low but satisfying blow

2. Coco This movie really comes through on cryability. I cried through the entire last half-hour of the movie. You see the twist coming, but that doesn’t stop it from being the most fantastic mix of devastating and heartwarming that I’ve ever seen a movie pull off. Pixar has perfected its formula for reaching into your chest ripping out your heart, and it shows. Each big reveal and gut-wrenching line was perfectly timed to get you crying again just when you’d almost stopped.  820/10 - a cryable masterpiece

1. Up Every time I watch this movie, I’m like, maybe this is the time I’ll be able to get through it without crying, and every time I’m wrong. This is the only Pixar movie that gets you crying within the first five minutes, and it keeps you crying throughout the whole movie, whenever the Adventure Book comes out, and then it gets one last shot at you at the end, when he finds the hidden page. 10,000/10 - I will die before I get through this movie without crying