#They don't realize it's a cultural thing until they meet April

[sibillascribbles08]

Mornin Jasonnie squad ! This one is for @mossscribble ! He asked for Jason and Donnie's first christmas together for our holiday exchange, so here's these nerds.

“Do you celebrate Christmas?”

“I mean, not a lot? When I still lived with my mom we usually did something but nothing all out. And now that it’s just me and my dad it’s even more lowkey. We’ll get each other like, a small gift, but most gift things happen for new years and birthdays. What about you guys?”

“Not that different, in fact. Father always used to get us things when we were little, mostly because we saw it happening on movies and Mikey was dead set that Santa was real and then he got really into Christmas cookies. I think we make more food than we give gifts at this point. We all get something for April though, since she celebrates. She can’t visit the day of, since she’s with her parents, so we meet up on the twenty-sixth.”

“What about Comet?”

“Oh, they are very excited for more presents.”

“Did… you want to do something with me? Is that why you’re asking?”

“Well, I wasn’t sure if you’d be busy so…”

“On Christmas Day? Maybe. But we could do something on Christmas Eve.” 

They had that conversation over a month ago. Now Jason sat in his living room by himself, waiting for Donnie to arrive. 

His father evidently didn’t do much to decorate, as Jason learned last year, but the little rainbow christmas tree in the living room was always a nice touch. The man even decorated it with little photos of his friends and partners. 

And that was fine, because Jason wasn’t crazy about the holiday for a number of reasons. Overblown, overhyped, and he had zero attachments to the religious connotations, or what little remained of them. 

Still, celebrating with Donnie would be fun. First time they would be since they started dating. Donnie said he’d bring over dinner, they could swap presents, and then wander around the city looking at lights among other things. 

And Jason’s father planned to be at a Christmas party all night so…

It’d be nice.

But right now he was bored, and hungry, seriously it was almost seven. Where the heck was Donnie?

Finally, the doorbell rang.

Jason groaned, in a mixture of frustration and relief, and got off the sofa. He hoped it was Donnie and not some last minute package delivery. Surely he and his father weren’t waiting on anything. 

Jason opened the door, more than glad to see his boyfriend standing there, grinning at him. He wanted to take a second to admire the turtle’s makeup, and the amount of gem stickers lining his eyes, but his gaze couldn’t help but move down.

“Donnie?” Jason said.

“Yes?”

“Why do you have two buckets of KFC?”

Evidently that wasn’t even all given the brown bag also tucked under Donnie’s arm, but the buckets were impossible to miss with that bright red. 

“Christmas tradition, obviously.” Donnie straightened up and walked inside.

Jason let him, closed the door, and then followed. “Tradition? For who?”

“From Japan, actually.” The softshell went to the kitchen to deposit the food on the table. “That’s what Papá always said, and then I actually researched it when I got older.”

Jason squinted, having a lot of trouble believing that, but it couldn’t hurt to look it up himself. He rapidly tapped through the letters on his phone and stared at the browser window as everything loaded in. Huh, that was a lot of results. He combed through a few of the pages, which more or less confirmed what Donnie said.

“That’s almost wild to think about.” Jason muttered.

“Well, what do you eat for the holidays?”

“Honestly, Dad and I just hit up a local Chinese place.” 

“Oh that would be good.” Donnie tapped his chin and then shook his head. “Too bad, we have two buckets of fried chicken to eat now. Plus sides.” He pointed at the bag.

“Two buckets?” Jason almost shouted. “Donnie, how much do you think I eat?”

“More a question of how much you need to eat.”

“If I try to eat that much chicken, I’m going to puke.”

Donnie grinned and grabbed Jason’s face. “It’s the holidays, we’re going to try anyway. Now one thing I did not buy is drinks, so what do you have?”

The pair of them picked out a few cans of soda and then took everything to the living room along with a bundle of napkins. Jason cleared off part of the coffee table so they had space to eat, then flipped on The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. 

“This isn’t even a Christmas movie.” Donnie mumbled as he curled up on the sofa.

“It has Santa in it, it counts.”

Jason grabbed some food, knowing he at least needed to try and put a dent in it before Donnie complained. But only a few minutes in, he swiftly realized he’d never seen the softshell eat fried chicken before. 

The terrifying snap is what drew his attention in the first place. Donnie held nothing more than that nub end of a drumstick in his hand as his teeth crunched through the rest of it, gaze fixed on the television. Then he tossed the last bite into his mouth before grabbing another. 

Jason squinted. “Donnie, what the fuck?”

He glanced over, brow raised. “What?”

“Are you eating the bones?”

“Waste not.” The turtle stuck his nose in the air. “My brothers and I are more than capable of chewing through bone, though Leo despises the sensation of it. Besides, it makes eating this stuff much faster.” He held up the thigh with both hands and bit into it with his incredibly sharp teeth. 

Jason very briefly had the passing thought of, “God I wish that were me,” before he shook his head and tried to focus on eating. 

He only made it through four pieces—plus sides—before he had to quit. One more bite would probably have him puking. He didn’t dare touch another sip of soda either for a few minutes. 

Donnie tried to insist he eat more, so Jase glared at him until he shut up. 

When the movie ended—and Jason’s stomach didn’t feel like it’d implode if he rolled in the wrong direction—they cleaned up any trash and left the leftovers in the fridge for Donnie to take home later. 

“So, do we wanna do gifts before or after we go walking around?” 

“Before.” Donnie grinned and tapped at the gauntlet on his arm. “I can’t wait for you to see this one.”

Jason refrained from rolling his eyes. He thought about the custom keyboard that sat in his room and worried about what his boyfriend decided to pull this time. “Did you even bring it with you?”

“No, it would have been a hassle to carry.” The turtle waved a hand. “Shelldon will deliver it momentarily.”

A hassle to carry? Just how big was it? Jason really hoped it wasn’t some kind of vehicle because he did not have a license nor did he plan to get one anytime soon. The tank driving lessons were only done in case of emergencies. 

Well, if they were waiting on Shelldon, Jason might as well go get what he made for Donnie. He signaled for his boyfriend to wait downstairs and then headed up to his room. He’d kept the box wrapped and under his bed for the past week. Not really christmas paper—he and his father never wrapped presents—but a bunch of rainbow dots were festive enough. 

Just as he walked down the steps, the doorbell rang. Donnie hopped a couple of times before rushing over to answer it.

Thankfully Shelldon hovered on the other side, a rather tall box just below him. The droid smiled at Donnie and then flew inside, twirling around Jase a couple of times.

“Heya, Jase.” The droid stopped in front of him. “Happy holidays.” 

“You too.” He reached up to scratch under one of Shelldon’s ears. “Donnie got you something nice, I hope.”

Shelldon rolled his eyes. “Nah, he insists I don’t need presents.”

“You don’t.” Donnie barked. 

“Give me my flamethrower back.”

“No!”

Jase chuckled and put the gift on the floor so he could hold Shelldon in both hands. “Aw, come on Donnie, look at his face. How could you leave your son presentless?” 

“Yeah!” Shelldon said.

“Besides, you could at least give him a fresh polish. Or maybe a new game.”

Donnie kept working on getting the box inside the house. Evidently it wasn’t that heavy to the softshell, but the shape made it a bit awkward. “He can already download almost any game he wants.” 

Jason shook his head and held Shelldon against his hip, scratching the drone once more. “Not helping your case, Donnie. You ask him to deliver that giant box and you’re not getting him a present?”

“Ugh! Fine.” Donatello managed to push the box close to the stairs. “I will think of something to get him by tomorrow. Happy?” 

Shelldon chuckled and flew out of Jase’s grip, swirling around his head again. “Thanks, Jase. See you nerds later, I’m headed back.” 

Jason gave him a wave as Shelldon rocketed out of the house. Donnie frowned and walked over to the front door to close it.

Jason couldn’t help but shake his head again as his boyfriend approached. “Cannot believe you don’t get your drone a gift.”

“I didn’t think it was necessary!” 

“Cruel, cold, heartless—”

Donnie lightly jabbed him in the side.

Jason bit his lip to keep himself from laughing as he jumped back. 

“Now, if you’re done criticizing my relationship with my sort-of invention, sort-of child, sort-of sibling, open the box.”

Jason knew he should shove Donnie’s gift into his hands, but the turtle probably wouldn’t quit pestering him until he opened this thing. So he approached the cardboard, noting it was only a few inches shorter than him, and pulled out his multitool to cut through the tape.

Donnie practically vibrated next to him. 

Thankfully, his boyfriend did not structure this container so that you had to pull something out from the top. After cutting through a few rows of tape, the side simply fell to the floor, and one more cut had the rest collapsing as well. 

In the center of it all was a chair. 

A desk chair, from first glance, but of course it was purple. And judging by the line of buttons on one of the arm rests it had a number of features.

“Isn’t it awesome?” Donnie rushed behind his creation—because there’s no way he didn’t build this—and clung to the headrest. “Not only is this thing designed for good back and shoulder support, but I’ve decked this thing out with massage features, self heating, and a few customizable buttons if you want to attach it to devices. You could start the kettle from your room.” 

Jason walked around it as his boyfriend rambled, noting the rather large compartment in the back. “What is that?”

“Oh, the ice maker.”

“...Why does it have an ice maker?”

Donnie’s eyes went wide, staring at the wall. Then he blinked a couple of times. “I… am not sure. I don’t remember why I thought that was a good idea.”

Jason couldn’t help but laugh. “Well, I bet I’ll find a reason for it.” He stepped over to actually run his fingers over the softer parts of the chair. He wasn’t sure if it was real leather—probably not—but it felt that way. If he pressed down hard enough he could feel the harder components for the massage features. 

Still, Jason glanced up at Donnie. “You really want me to take better care of my posture, huh.”

“Well obviously.” His boyfriend huffed. “Did you feel how stiff your shoulders were for that last massage? You’re going to wreck yourself doing that. You can say, ‘thank you for saving my shoulders so much horrible pain, Donnie,’ whenever you want.” 

Jason rolled his eyes as he smiled. Yeah, no way he was saying that. But he still tugged his boyfriend into a hug. “Thanks Donnie, this is awesome.” Then he leaned back. “But for the love of god do not start replacing all the furniture in my room.”

“Really?” Donnie frowned. “Because I have some new ideas for bed frames and—”

“Open yours.” Jason immediately cut off that train of thought before it went anywhere else. He darted over to the box he left on the floor and turned to hand it over. 

Donatello went through the mildly frustrating ritual of shaking the box a few times, clearly thinking long and hard about what it might be, and then carefully popping all of the tape off the paper instead of just tearing through it. 

Jason heard about this behavior from Leo. The slider was certain that Donnie just did it to aggravate everyone, not because he actually cared about saving paper. 

But Jason left him to it, because it’s not like revealing the box would do much. It was a plain box meant for wrapping clothes in.

But the interior was filled with little, purple, cubic pieces. 

Donatello tilted his head. “What is this?”

“Puzzle.” Jason crossed his arms as he smirked. “3D puzzle, to be exact. Modeled it and all the pieces myself.” 

Donnie’s face brightened. “Really? What’s it supposed to make.”

“Figure that out yourself, genius.” He stuck his tongue out.

“Huh? Come on, Jase, you have to give me some kind of visual to work off of here.”

“Nah, I think you’re smart enough to work it out.” Jason was not about to spoil that when all the pieces were together, it’d make a smaller model of Shelldon. The droid even volunteered to let Jason do a model scan of him to get all the details right. Mapping out all the individual pieces had taken hours, though. 

Donatello shut the box again, making sure it sealed tight. “Very well, I’ll have it finished within the week, you’ll see.” 

“I look forward to it.” He glanced at the chair. “Now how are we getting this up to my room?”

“I got it.” 

Jason let his boyfriend heft the heavy looking chair up the steps and into his room. 

With that taken care of, they got ready to head out. Jason didn’t need to bundle up much, but he made sure to get one of his heavier jackets and a scarf. He was shocked to see Donnie came well prepared, with a thick jacket, pants, boots, and even a fur lined hat. In fact, the turtle complained about his lack of winter wear.

“I’m warm blooded.” Jason grabbed his house keys and opened the door. “Now come on.” 

Donnie couldn’t really fly them anywhere with his coat on, which was ultimately fine. All of the cold air blasting against his cheeks probably would have made Jason second guess dressing this light. Instead they walked to the nearest train station. People in the subway almost never gave Donnie more than a single glance, so they had no trouble getting in and out. 

When they reached the Rockefeller Center, it was just about as crowded as Jason expected for Christmas Eve. If people weren’t walking around to marvel at the massive tree or the lights, they were skating in circles on the ice. 

Donnie held Jason’s hand as they walked through the crowd. He spared most of the lights a quick glance, but they did come to a stop near the tree to take a few selfies, pointed upwards with all the lights in the background.

“Hang on, I have to adjust these settings.” Donnie tapped on the screen. “Those lights are making us blurry.” 

“I dunno, the one that makes it look like you dropped your phone is pretty funny.” 

After a few more decent looking shots, they started to wander again.

“Anything specific we should do here?” Donnie asked. “Do we want to do any store browsing?”

“Well, there is a toy store around here.”

“The toy store!” His boyfriend immediately grabbed hold of his arm and dragged him off. “Let’s go!” 

The store itself wasn’t any less crowded than the plaza. Dozens of parents and even plenty of children were running around the interior trying to look at everything on the shelves. Donnie wasn’t much better than the toddlers as he went straight for a marble run display.

“You know, I used to have one of these when I was little,” he began to ramble. “Father happened to find a box next to a garbage bin and brought it home for us. I spent a lot of time finding different combinations of pieces.” 

Jason had an easy time imagining that. “Do you want a new set?”

“As delightful as it would be, I think I should just make my own. It would tower over everything else. A marble run that could last thirty minutes.”

He snorted. “You’re gonna watch a marble for thirty minutes?”

“Don’t act as if you wouldn’t.”

Yeah, he probably would. 

They kept browsing the shelves. Sometimes they’d talk about toys they used to have, things that they missed, and occasionally even stare in confusion at something they’d never seen before. Jason wanted to judge the strange things kids played with these days, but it probably wasn’t that much stranger than anything from the 2000s. 

Eventually they left the store, less because they ran out of things to do and more because Jason could see the way his boyfriend would flinch anytime a young child screamed in excitement or started crying. 

Jason gently led him out of the store, which was only so much quieter, but at least the sounds of kids lessened. 

Donnie muttered out a thank you, hand sometimes pressing against the side flaps of his hat. Did he have his goggles on under that?

“Going to buy you earmuffs next year.” Jason nodded.

“Those won’t fit over my goggles.”

“Wear your goggles less often then.” He glanced around the plaza. “Did you want to check out another store?” 

“Why don’t we try some ice skating?”

Jason groaned. “No thanks, I don’t know how.”

“Huh? You’ve lived here for how long and you never learned?” Donnie held out a hand. “Come on, I can show you how.” 

“So I can fall on my ass a dozen times? No thanks.” 

“Come on.” His boyfriend waved his hand but never actually grabbed Jase’s arm. “Just try it?” 

Jason sighed. He could already feel the pain in his legs, his hands and his butt, but let his boyfriend drag him towards the rink. It took a few minutes for them to even be waved in, limits on people in the rink and all that. As they waited Jason blew warm air on his hands a few times, his knuckles finally feeling the bite of the cold air. 

“See, you should have worn gloves.” Donnie nudged his side. 

“I’ll be fine.” He put his hands in his pockets. “How are you holding up?”

“More than alright since I came prepared.” 

Jason just rolled his eyes and kept waiting for their turn.

He thought on a loop of what a terrible idea this was as he fitted on the ice skates and barely got on his feet. Donnie held onto him, with one arm around his waist, and carefully pulled him out onto the ice.

Which made it even harder to keep his balance. The second both of his feet touched the ice, the skates tried to slide forward. He would have fallen on his back if Donnie didn’t hold tight.

“Here, just hang on.” Donnie tugged him up straight. “You taught yourself to dance with me, so this shouldn’t be too difficult.” 

Jason trusted his boyfriend, but this didn’t feel the same as dancing, mainly because they were facing in the same direction. He managed alright with going straight, but the minute his boyfriend would try to turn a corner Jason would keep sliding in the wrong direction. His attempts to correct it had him either almost hitting the ground or just slamming into the wall. 

Donnie laughed. 

“Shut it.” Jason mumbled, but let his boyfriend keep dragging him around the ice. “How did you even learn to do this?”

The turtle hummed. “Truthfully, Cassandra made us all learn after we became friends. At first she just challenged us to a hockey game and then found out only Mikey knew how to ice skate so…” 

“Bet she makes a fun teacher.”

“If you can deal with the volume of her voice, she does quite well actually. Besides, I found it all rather fun. Just a new way to dance.” Donnie drifted toward the wall and took Jason’s other hand, placing it there.

Jason held on for dear life, because the second he grabbed the wall his boyfriend slid away without him. There wasn’t exactly a ton of space on this crowded rink, but just enough in the center for Donnie to drift out and start swirling in circles. 

Jason straightened up, just to get a better look at his boyfriend grinning ear to ear as he twirled. A few children that he spun past gasped and clapped their hands. 

Jason became so enamored that he foolishly loosened his grip on the wall. One of his feet moved and that was all it took for him to slide out of control. He failed to catch himself on the wall properly and his chest slammed against the ice. He tried to shove himself up, but when he opened his eyes he realized his glasses fell off in the process. What if someone—

“Are you okay?”

A woman and her child came to a stop next to him. From this close he could see his glasses in the child’s hands, so he gratefully took them and put them back on his face. 

“Yeah, I’ll be okay.” He wheezed out. “Thanks.”

“Jase.” Donnie shouted as he skated back over, weaving around the mom. “You were supposed to hang onto the wall.”

“Yeah, well, that didn’t work out.” He tried to use it now to pull himself up, but Donnie practically lifted him off the ground. 

The mother flashed a smile and tugged her daughter along back into the moving crowd.

“Can we be done with skating now?” Jason sighed. 

“For tonight, maybe.” Donnie led him along the skating path. “I am now determined to teach you.”

“Not sure why that’s necessary.”

“Maybe I’ll just hand you off to Cassandra.”

Ugh.

Jason refused to quit arguing about it. They filed out of the rink and got their shoes back, moving through the plaza once more. Jason let his gaze linger on the lights again and he almost missed something tiny fluttering through the lights. A lot of them. Almost like dust in sunlight, but with a bit more sparkle to them.

Now his gaze moved up, seeing the flurries much clearer from this angle. “Ah, there’s the snow they mentioned on the forecast.” 

“Oh? I didn’t realize we’d get a white Christmas this year.”

“Assuming it sticks. They said it might not.” Jason shrugged and turned to look at the tree again, watching the snow dance in front of it. “Still looks nice, at least.” 

Donnie hummed in agreement, and for a few minutes they just stood in silence, watching. Jason wasn’t holding onto his boyfriend, but he still stood close enough to feel the faintest movement when Donnie shivered. 

“Cold?” Jason asked.

“I’ll be fine.” His boyfriend’s shoulders raised up as he pouted. “But it may be wise to avoid staying out much longer.”

Jason reached out and tugged at the collar of Donnie’s coat. “Unzip your jacket for a sec.”

“Huh?”

“Just do it.”

Donatello did, and the minute the thing was open, Jason pressed himself against his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around his back underneath the coat. 

He glanced up at the turtle. “You’re cold because you’re an idiot who doesn’t wear a shirt under this thing.”

“The layers would only do so much.” Donnie snapped, then tugged his jacket all the way around Jase before zipping it back up. “Hah, now you’re trapped.”

“Oh no.” Jason gave a fake whine. “Whatever will I do?” 

Donnie chuckled and nuzzled his nose into Jase’s hair. 

Once again the pair fell silent. Jason even let his eyes close, just focusing on the sensation of his boyfriend’s slow heartbeat and the occasional kiss of a snowflake on his cheeks or his ears. 

“Feeling warmer?” He mumbled into the turtle’s chest.

“Yes, but we still shouldn’t stay out much later.” Donnie kissed his head. 

“Wanna just head back and warm up?”

“Oh?” Donnie let out a faint growl. “What did you have in mind?”

Jason snorted. “Probably what you’re thinking, but we can also just get some hot chocolate and watch another movie.”

Another kiss. “How about we warm up first? Then get some hot chocolate.” 

Yeah, Jason would be more than fine with that, but he didn’t make any effort to free himself and start walking. “Donnie?”

“Yes? Are you asking me to free you?”

He cracked a smile. “Nah, I just wanna say that I’m really glad you’re here. First time in a while that I’ve enjoyed this holiday.” 

His boyfriend hummed. “I hope I can make it enjoyable every year after too.” 

Jason returned the hum and finally straightened up. “Alright, let’s get walking before I just fall asleep in here.” He tried to wiggle free, but that didn’t work with how tight the jacket was. “Donnie, unzip this thing.” 

“What if I just leave you trapped there forever, hm?” Donnie laughed and then tried to take a step forward, only to stumble when their legs bumped into each other. Thankfully he didn’t crash into the ground because Jase did not want to do that a second time.

“Just let me out, you idiot.” He laughed. 

“But it’s gonna be cold,” the turtle whined.

“Not for long.” Jason tilted his head to kiss Donnie on the throat. 

Now his boyfriend scrambled for the zipper, almost knocking them both over a second time before finally freeing Jase. 

Jason laughed again and waited for Donnie to close his jacket. Then he took his boyfriend’s hand and led the way to the train station.

[wanderinglotus7]

I'm Not Crazy that's Just the Anxiety Talking LOL

There's nothing wrong with a therapist needing a therapist. I don't regret my decision to go back to therapy. Thank you psychologytoday because that is where I found my new therapist. Thinking about it I'm not sure how long I've been meeting with her. I think I either began working with her in April or May of this year. So far, I believe I'm making some progress. Yes, I still have my bouts of anxiety and other issues, but they are not necessarily taking total control of my life. I haven't really felt depressed for probably almost for a year. I haven't really had the urge to participate in any forms of disordered eating. So, I think I'm doing fine hahaha. Me saying this as someone with high functioning anxiety.

To note, having the right therapist makes a big difference too. "J" is my second woman therapist, but my first therapist of color. No offense to my previous therapist, she helped me out but with certain things she just couldn't. For example, her telling me [a white thin woman] that I just need to alter my diet and incorporate more exercise isn't going to help me much with my bulimia mame. It's a struggle when you have to deal with the broader society saying, "Thin Is In" while pop culture & your own community is saying "Curves are the Rage", but you have to have the right type of curves (SLIM THICK). Uggh! As a young Black woman who is petite with curves, I felt like I couldn't win. However, I have a new appreciation for my body. Like the Bible states, "God created us each in his own image". I'm a work of art. Maybe a little messy, but none the less I'm still unique because there is only one of me [unless if there is a secret clone out there, I'm unaware of].

"J" is cool with me. With anyone it still feels uncomfortable being vulnerable and sharing my raw feelings with others. Sometimes I feel like I have to over explain myself to ensure that others truly understand where I'm coming from. That gets exhausting! I'm glad that with J, I don't feel the pressure to do so. But some habits die hard. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. It feels nice speaking to someone about your mental health issues with someone who looks like you and has some similar experiences of what it is like living as a Black woman in America [and in the world general]. She also identifies as a Christian too like me. All good things!

Before the month ended (October), we really delved into my relationships. I don't think I was really ready for those conversations. I realize now that I need to explore that avenue or history of my life. They are right. What happens in your childhood does impact you in your adult life. I'm no stranger in discussing my relationship with my dad. These past two weeks had my mind hyper focused on my relationship with my mother. I didn't really think about our relationship until my Grandmother Louise asked, "Do you think that you're a crutch for your mom"? Good question. I didn't know how to answer until J gave me a writing assignment that opened up that can of worms. Yes, I am a crutch for my mother. However, I'm her emotional crutch. For my dad, I'm not sure how I fit into his life. I just keep praying for him. I pray for my mother too. One thing that both of my parents have in common is that they both carry a lot of emotional hurt. Because of this hurt, they never really learned how to heal. Sad to say, both of my parents emotionally neglected me. When I did reach out for help, they didn't provide me with the emotional space (safety) to do so. I think this is one reason why I attract individuals with lots of emotional hurt. I think this is one reason why I'm so compassionate towards others because I tend to carry their hurt as my own. I understand what it is like to be stuck in a cycle of hurt/harm.

With this in mind, emotional and spiritual connection is a must for my future relationships. In my previous relationship, I didn't have that emotional safety to feel free to bring my strong emotions as well as my personal experiences into the light. They were shrunken and deemed as less significant which crushed me because some of the things, I tried to share I never told anyone about. I deserve better than that you know. I need someone who has the same compassion that I do because I'm not broken. I have a lot of love to give, but I also need someone who's going to give me that same amount of love in return. I deserve a soft love, not a struggle love.

[shania-twain]

au. the met.

She caught his eye from across the way. He was leaning against a column, looking at her curiously.

Used to men staring at her, she quirked a brow at him and he shook his head slightly, looking away. His cheeks were pink from embarrassment. She found that a little endearing. Usually men didn't give a shit if they were caught ogling her.

Amanda is enthusiastically greeted by her friend Lara with a kiss on the cheek and a friendly hug. Over Lara's shoulder, she spots the tall man again. He's turned slightly and she takes the opportunity to study his side profile, her interest piqued. A quick glance to his hands to check for a wedding ring and she's excited to find it bare. His hair is gray, but she likes the silver fox look. Face clean shaven, body lean and a lopsided, closed mouth smile.

"How are you liking the gallery so far? Isn't it neat?" Lara interrupted her thoughts and Amanda tried to focus on her friend. "Find any pieces you like?"

"I like most of 'em," she answered with a small shrug. Her first time at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City was uneventful, as she wasn't the biggest fan of art pieces. Though she chalked it up to never having been to a real museum like this and her parent's lack of interest in taking her and her sister anywhere cultured.

Her friend Lara dragged her here with a promise to return her to her hometown in Georgia "a sophisticated lady." She had scoffed at that, but agreed to go, glad to have a reason to dress up nicely.

With it being her last night in New York, she wanted to have a nice dinner and then maybe a bar afterwards with a group of her friends from college. They had been at the museum for nearly an hour and she was ready to go. She could use a drink after another full day of activity. She was really dreading the flight home tomorrow.

"Hey," Lara told her, taking her out of her thoughts. Her friend probably sensed her discomfort by the way she had her arms crossed, but really she was just chilly. "Let's go say goodbye to Steven and then we can get an early dinner. Sound good?"

Amanda nodded, smiling pleasantly as Lara began to lead her over to a friend of hers she had been introduced to earlier. Catching the gaze of the stranger again, she watched him curiously this time. He doesn't look away, even goes so far as to send her a small, friendly grin, dimples in his cheeks. She thought he was damn adorable.

She briefly wished she was alone so she could approach him without ditching her friend.

She watched him try and smoothly break their gaze by pretending to be interested in a painting nearby. She let out a laugh as he placed his large hand on his chin, feigning contemplation on the artwork. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye, seeing her smile flirtatiously at him. He swore his heart jumped at the sight.

She was beautiful. Sexy in every way. Her long legs were accentuated by red heels. She wore a white dress that complimented her figure and hugged her curves. His eyes didn't miss the plunging neckline either. Her hair was golden, styled on her head and flowing in waves down her back. She was elegant, classy, and had a smile as bright as the sun.

Noticing that she seemed to be leaving with a girl friend, he felt himself moving toward the exit. He hoped to have some sort of interaction with her, somehow.

He found her outside the museum, shivering, her friend nowhere to be found. Taking a deep breath, he casually walked up to her.

"Hi," he said, trying not to sound too eager. He was shoulder to shoulder to her, though she was a tad bit shorter than him in the heels.

She glanced up at him, a surprised look on her face. He felt his own face flush at the delighted smile on her lips. She detected an accent from him, a smidge different from the regular New York one she had been hearing for days. "Hi," she said.

She had a deep southern accent. It may have been the first time he ever thought it was adorable. He may already be a little biased, though.

"Did you friend ditch you?" He looked around and didn't find the other woman she had been with.

"Nah, she's still inside," she said, gesturing behind her to the building. "Ran into someone. I told her I'd wait out here."

He smirked at her slightly bouncing in place, clearly freezing. "Ya regrettin' that?"

"I'm fine," Amanda defended, rocking on her heels now.

Sonny found himself taking off his jacket and offering it to her. She raised both eyebrows so high, he almost laughed.

"Thanks, but you're a stranger."

He held the jacket over one arm, holding out his hand to her. "I'm Dominick, nice to meet you."

When she took his hand and shook it, she shivered for a different reason. His hold was light, hand warm, his eyes gentle and soft on hers. "Amanda."

Letting go of her hand, he offered his jacket again with a dimpled grin. "Now we're not strangers. Take it while you wait, it's fine."

She still looked doubtful but she did grab it. She was shivering in front of this handsome man and it was embarrassing. "I didn't know it could be so cold in April." As she slipped the large jacket over her shoulders, she gave him a look. "Sure you're not a serial killer?"

At his nod, she left the jacket on, eyeing his professional suit underneath. His blue tie had polka dots on it and she got the sense that he wasn't like the guys she was usually attracted to. "I'm a criminal prosecutor."

Impressed, she lifted a brow again. "So you've been in the room with serial killers?"

He laughed and she found herself mesmerized with the sight of his eyes crinkling. "Not very much, I usually prosecute sex crimes."

"Oh, wow," she said in surprise, "that's gotta be a damn hard job."

"It is," he said honestly. "What do you do?"

She tugged his jacket closer to her, smelling the cologne inside of it. "I'm a social worker. I help kids in difficult domestic situations at home. Among other things."

Her eyes held something dark in them, he noticed, as she told him this information and he thought maybe she could find the same darkness in his. She stepped closer to him, excusing it for the body heat and not the way he smelled and the way he looked at her. Like she was something more. As if she could offer something more than just a body.

"That's incredible," he smiled, "you must be a hero to those kids."

She shook her head humbly. "They're amazing kids. It's wonderful to see kids in awful situations thrive despite the odds against them."

Amanda couldn't believe she was opening up in any way to this man. A stranger, no less. But she figured he could understand, as he's probably seen troublesome things in his own line of work.

"Anyway," she tried to lighten the subject, "back home people don't believe in these kids enough. I want to help them as much as I can."

Smiling softly at her, he asked, "where's home?"

"Georgia," she answered, waving her hand, "small town."

"Amanda!" A voice called out and she turned to see Lara waving at her from the entrance, the person she had been talking to still at her side. Amanda waved back and turned her attention back to Dominick.

"I think she wants me over there," she told him. She started sliding the jacket off but he stopped her.

"Keep it," he said, "I have plenty, trust me."

"Oh, no, I'll be fine," she reassured. He was about to tell her again not to worry about it when her friend walked up.

"Hey," Lara said, looking him up and down. "Who's this?"

"Lara, this is Dominick," Amanda introduced, "we kinda just met."

"Oh," Lara blinked, then when she realized Amanda was wearing the man's jacket, the woman's eyes widened. "Oh!"

"Yeah," Amanda deadpanned, slightly amused. Lara caught the hint Amanda was giving with her eyes and gestured back to her friend. "I'm gonna - forgot to tell them something."

Dominick watched her friend walk away, also amused. He didn't catch Amanda taking something out of her red wallet.

"Hey, so," Amanda said, capturing his attention again. Her eyes were gorgeous. Light, bright pools of blue he could drown in. "I'm actually leaving for Georgia tomorrow."

Ah, damn.

He couldn't even pretend to hide his disappointment. He really thought he might have had a chance with her. Or at least even one date.

"But," she said, pressing her lips together to keep from smiling at his obvious disappointment. "I'll be coming back for a visit pretty soon. Maybe you can show me around?"

Grinning widely at her, Dominick enthusiastically agreed. Amanda could feel butterflies swarm inside her at his excitement. She had never encountered a man quite like him before.

"Amanda, you ready?" Lara called again, from a distance, this time alone. Amanda sighed as she had to part with him, wanting to know more about him but she had made plans already with others.

"It was great meetin' you," she told him in her charming accent.

"Yeah," he stumbled over his words, not quite ready to let her go yet. But he knew he had to. "Yeah, definitely."

She smiled brightly again, taking his jacket off and handing it to him. He took it numbly. "Call me." He watched her walk away, hips swaying, heels clacking against the pavement as her and a friend got into a cab further down the street.

It wasn't until she was out of his sight that he realized he didn't have her number. Cursing to himself, he pinched the bridge of his nose. Why didn't he get her last name? Why?

How many Amanda's in Georgia could there be?

Grumbling, completely irritated, and feeling like a moron, he put his jacket back on. He harshly shoved his hands in his pockets when he felt something in his left pocket. Taking it out, he noticed with extreme delight it was a business card.

Amanda Rollins - Social worker. With a phone number at the bottom.

He smiled.

[ablakespace]

"…Someday when you get where you're going you'll look around and you will know that it was you and the people who love you who put you there. And that will be the greatest feeling in the world."

After somehow losing motivation during my final semester of community college, this last few weeks I've had to lean on this quote and know that whatever comes next will be better. I didn't meet my goals for myself academically, but through a certain musical artist, my friends, and my instructors who I hold closely and will miss, I've realized I do have an opportunity to turn things around next year to do better and improve. After all, trying and failing and trying again and failing again is normal.

I've had to echo the ideas presented by my idol, and even though she has no reason to know I exist, someone I consider my best friend. When she was only 23 she moved to New York to find herself. I think we don't really know who we are until we're out of our comfort zone. 💗

This last month I made the decision to move to Iowa for school with my best friend Keli. We're art majors from Mississippi. We want to be more immersed in an art culture, and if you know anything about Mississippi, it's that there's… not a lot going on at the moment.

When the countdown was posted, I drove to her apartment and freaked out. She had never listened to Taylor the way I did, but on April 26th, her and our friends Kaitlyn and Jack stayed up to watch the music video premiere. Keli and I will definitely be making the 7 hour drive from our new school to Solider Field for TS7, if you plan to come (DO).

I just wanted to share a bit of where I've been and where I'm going with you. I'm always interested in your music and hearing where you've been. Hopefully you're interested in that with me @taylorswift. I love you so, so much. Thank you for ME!, which has brought Keli and I so much closer. She's accepted me for all the Swiftie I am, THANK YOU for giving us a bond. You're the best ♡ see you soon? ily ;)