#Theseus the sad mama’s boy

[princessmeepa]

The love and happiness of the god of wine and his wife.

I have draw the pose from my friend of mine.

Theseus is in the corner, go away you man child prev.

[dootznbootz]

Which Greek mythology character would you like to see talked about more?

OHoho. you all already know this.

It's Penelope.

And I am being so fucking serious about it. I'm also sleepy and angry and mother nature is stabbing my gut so I'm putting a lot of my emotions into this ask.

BUT her fangirling, angry, bitchy rant of mine, I will save for the end. (and I'll explain it more down there) Not gonna lie, I will probably be mean. Don't take it too personally. (Some folks I know genuinely love her and have stuff for her. Y'all are fine :D )

I have many other characters I wish would be seen more, but hers rant is ooooh. it's been boiling angrily for a long time and this is the perfect ask to let loose.

Take note: This is more about characters who I feel are either underrated and/or not really given love. It's a whole other can of worms about characters who ARE given a lot of attention but are either fandomized to the point of being unrecognizable or people just...really see them wrong.

Ariadne:

A young princess who helped out Theseus to end the cycle of violence against the youth of Athens. Despite the fact that she was going against her family by helping Theseus she did. When he left her, for whatever reason, she was rescued by Dionysus. In which these two have a loving and healthy marriage. There is so much potential here and it makes me sad that she gets butchered and/or just ignored.

Danae:

She was locked up by her father because of a prophecy that happened anyway. She is now pregnant with Zeus' child. She is then locked into a chest in which she is sent floating in the sea. She washes up on Seriphos. Her son is sent on an impossible quest in order to keep her from a forced marriage. Her story is inspiring and ugh sdkf j badass mama! ;~;

Telemachus:

Got that right here :)

Sthenelus:

Fucking love this lil hotheaded cheerleader man. Go boy, go! He got yeeted by Athena from the chariot. Diomedes and him tell each other that they love each other. Tells off Agamemnon for mocking Diomedes' and his dad. He was a child soldier alongside Diomedes. I love this weird lil guy.

Hephaestus:

It makes me sad how people only see him as the "cuck" of Aphrodite and Ares. (no hate to them. do not hate either of them) He's badass in his own right! He does that bigass fire in the Iliad! And one of my favorite scenes in that epic, is him welcoming Thetis! I think he's neat :D

Hebe:

Ganymede isn't the only cupbearer on Olympus you know.

Menelaus:

I love me a goofy wifeman...But if that's all you see him as, I'm sad. What about the sealy man? (aka him wrestling a god for a while and making him tell him answers) The exiled prince? The younger brother? The angry charioteer who yelled at Antilochus? The man who interfered with his brother's letter to his wife to warn to not bring their daughter? Being the sweet uncle figure for Telemachus? (he and Penelope get a lot of the same treatment in a way. with the whole "just the spouse" ;~; )

Psyche:

I think she's pretty popular, but shout out to her anyway :D Because I love her story a lot.

And last but absolutely not least,

Penelope

Heads up once more, but I'm going to be so fucking mean right now. I'm very tired and runnin on 4 hours of sleep and my tummy hurts. This is all over the place and I'm sad.

I think some of you treat the fact that Odysseus is (rightfully) obsessed with her and adores her as if that's HER personality trait... as while it's adorable to see him simping over her as he does, she's not just there for him (and me) to simp for. In the same vein, I think some of y'all only see her for her love of Odysseus and nothing more. Some folks don't see her as anything more than what she is for Odysseus.

AS IF HER HUSBAND ISN'T JUST AS INTERTWINED WITH HER AS SHE IS WITH HIM!

And yet, there is so much stuff with him about the other people in his life. The other Achaeans, Polites and Eurylochus, Athena, etc. You know Penelope has people in her life other than her husband and her son, right?

Even stuff that's just her, it's usually her weaving the shroud...That still ties back to Odysseus. If you wanna have her weave, maybe have her weave something happily. Maybe her chatting with Anticlea or Athena while she does! Or Helen! or her sister!

There's the saying of "the characters respect women but the author does not" and I'm noticing that a LOT in this fandom. I don't think it's intentional, but it's very telling with what people prioritize in their creations how they feel. (and no, I'm not talking about Homer. He wrote incredible women.)

I'm not saying you're not allowed to have favorites. But even if Odysseus IS your favorite, if you have Penelope so one note or with such weak characterization while having so much for Odysseus, FOR THE MEN WHO HE IS NEAR... It's just really telling.

I've even seen some shit with "Well, there's not much to do with her." as if y'all don't make OCs with less. I've seen people give Astyanax, an AU baby, more characterization than her. (Have him alive in your AUs but if you give him more character than Peenlope, I am side-eying you so hard.)

It genuinely pisses me off how overlooked she is. I hate how her tags are basically empty (honestly? I might start tagging my silliness for her correctly because it has so lil.)

Hey, why do followers of the other tags show up but not for #penelope of ithaca? It's clearly because she has SO many followers/fans that she broke tumblr! Especially with the fact that you can scroll all the way to the bottom pretty quickly! /sarcasm

(btw, before you say something, I know there's no consistent tag for Penelope. I follow many of them. #penelope odyssey is kind of the best bet I believe. #penelope of sparta is mostly about that new show that's coming out and hyping about it. still not about HER. #penelope mostly has some bridgerton character. so yeah. Not much on tumblr)

(shoutout to the artists who got their art on front of the tag! That's exciting! I'm being a mean bitch right now but that's fun and exciting!)

I hate how people see her as so one-note. I hate how she's often just "Odysseus' wife". MOST CONTENT OF HER IS HIM SIMPING OVER HER. (that's something I'm guilty of too! I plan to fix that soon. I have so many wips and so lil time and too high of personal standards because since she has so little content of her, I WILL make it good. I'll TRY to make it good.)

EVEN HEADCANONS! SO MUCH OF FANDOM STILL ONLY HAS HEADCANONS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ODYSSEUS OR TELEMACHUS. GIVE ME SOMETHING ABOUT HER CHILDHOOD. GIVE ME LIL QUIRKS SHE HAS. What does she struggle with? What's her favorite color? Does she like dancing? ANYTHING.

Feelings about how fandom sees her are also summed up by this and this. (Edit: This one too. She's not even dead in the Odyssey but people act like she doesn't exist until Odysseus is there.)

...Do you see my problem? Just one of my problems?

So many people genuinely read the Odyssey and just see her as the "crying wife". People diminish her character and her intelligence all the fucking time. You wanna know something I've noticed? PEOPLE ONLY TALK ABOUT HER INTELLIGENCE WHEN ODYSSEUS IS THERE. Like with how she tricks him and how she tricks the suitors. Nobody talks about the moment when Athena appears as her sister in her dream and she is immediately like "hey, if you're some god, is my husband still alive?" she clocks her as Athena RIGHT AWAY.

People constantly forget her violent thoughts against the suitors! Or when she sasses Telemachus and Euryclea. When she scolds and threatens the maids. (she's not always nice y'all!) Do you really think Odysseus would be obsessed with someone who isn't on his level?

We all know that he loves her. BUT WHY?! "Because she's smart like him." Yeah, we know. WHAT ELSE?

They are Likeminded! Thinking and acting alike! You know how fun that is?!

Homer, you absolute mad lad genius. You made her a mystery to the narrator, Odysseus, and for some reason, people see that as her just being a straight up mystery. You wrote her so wonderfully and so complex with how she is so sneaky in her own way that people are literally tricked by her as readers as well!

Or sadly, more likely, people fucking blackout when she's in the scene and there's no Odysseus. 🙄

Look, even if you have Penelope be the "braincell" who keeps her husband in line, MAKE SURE SHE'S NOT ACTING LIKE ODYSSEUS' FUCKING MOM. They're both grown ass adults for fuck's sake!

Also...please...PLEASE have her be more than a prop for the men around her. I've read some things that could literally have her be replaced by Euryclea, as Penelope is sometimes just used as a sounding board.

I'll be even more bitchier. Even in the OT3 she's commonly in. It wasn't a NOTP until I noticed most creations of that ship was just "Odysseus and this person for 6000+ words... Oh, and Penelope making an appearance in the footnotes." If it's an OT3, they all love each other right? Where's the PenDio fics/art, cowards?

I have a weird theory about how people treat her that way. (other than fandom prioritizing men)

So there's "girlbossing" and "uwu sad victim" that fandom can never seem to leave. I think People do this with Helen and Clytemnestra and that's why THEY are "blorbo-able". (not saying they shouldn't be but they definitely get more love than Penelope)

Helen, despite not always being a victim in her story, has been through so much. Kidnapped and some people blame her for it (irl and some people in canon do blame the war on her). Very easy to cling to. I cling to her too! (she's on the "UwU always victim. tragic blorbo" end)

Clytemnestra, is a victim in the sense that she's a grieving and angry mother and wife. And so she killed Agamemnon. Her violence and anger is seen as "girlboss" despite all the horrible stuff she also did to her children. (she's more on the "girlboss" end)

Penelope, is not a victim to the same degree as Helen nor does she murder anyone (how could she? it was 108 people against her and the Odyssey shows that the suitors' parents were enraged. Even Odysseus was skeptical he could beat them.)

She's not on either end of the "scales" for people to find her "blorbo-able". She doesn't murder her husband or the suitors by herself or is a victim to them in the same way Helen is.

And that's just for people who know her husband didn't cheat. I think with people who think Odysseus did cheat, they hate her because "she let it slide". That she's "weakwilled" for knowing her husband went through literal hell and wanting him to be happy and safe.

Idk, It's a little lonely being one of the few "Penelope crazy" blogs.

I sometimes wonder if people kind of come to my blog in a "Hey, can you love her for me? Can you think about her for us?" as I have seen very little on her childhood for example. It's STILL mostly in relation to others.

It's not even the "sharing ideas" that bugs me. it's the feeling of people not wanting to come up with headcanons/ideas for her OUTSIDE of canon.

"She was in Helen's shadow." Okay, well, how did she feel about it? What did she do about it? Did she hide away? Did she internalize that? Did she find that freeing? To not be the center of attention?

Stuff like that. Dive DEEPER. PLEASE

It makes me happy that people love my Penelope as I love her too, clearly. But I really fucking hope you love the CANON Penelope too. If you think I made Penelope "better" or anything like that, then leave. She's already fantastic on her own.

I want to talk about her more. I want her to be seen more.

[inkstainedfanfics]

To Spot a Happy Ending

Request: I absolutely love your blog 💚 To Spot a Friend Parts one and two were great! What if you finish it off with memories of the two (like Newt finally asking her out, maybe their wedding, ect.) and the final part being her dream that she always had of sitting on the swing with her husband, a dog (but now other creatures) and her children running around that has finally come true for her.

Word Count: 1,096

Pairing: Newt x Reader

Requested by Anonymous but tagging @caseoffics @red-roses-and-stories @dont-give-a-bother @myrtus-amongst-the-stars @ly--canthrope @h-leighton

Part 1   |   Part 2

Sweat drips down your back. You shift uncomfortably, trying to find the perfect spot to be hit with cool air under the whirring fan. The family dog is sprawled across the tiled floor, panting, little droplets of spit falling onto the ground under his mouth. He lifts his head when you move, tail pounding against the ground in a slow rhythm. You scrunch your nose at the smell coming off of him.

“Ugh, what did you get into out there?”

He stands, padding across the room to you, revealing a trail of muddy footprints.

“You mutt. Shoo.” Pulling open the screen door, you wave him back outside, rolling your eyes as he bounds away, barking at some rabbit.

A heat wave’s passing through, turning the lower half of the country into a boiling pot.

“Watch out, mom!”

You leave the screen door open long enough for Alexander Theseus to dart past it. “Thanks!”

Moments later, your second boy, Peter, comes around the corner. He slows as he approaches.

“Mama, have you seen Alex?”

“Are you two playing war again?”

He kicks at the ground. “Maybe.”

You smile at his guilty look. “You know it’s supposed to be a secret.”

“But mama, he’s so much faster. It isn’t fair.”

“I have no clue, sweetie,” you say, loud enough for Alex to hear if he’s around but gesturing to the right with your head.

He brightens, throwing his arms around your stomach for a second before tearing away. “Thanks, mama!”

“Stay away from the road!” You shout after him, positive he didn’t hear as he disappears in the same direction as Alex.

You sigh and turn back to the muddy floor, grabbing the mop from nearby.

Newt steps in as you’re cleaning. “Moving the outdoors in, love?”

“The dog plans to, apparently.”

“And you’ll let him?”

“You try to keep him outside. He looks at you with those big, sad eyes. They’re impossible to resist.”

He grins, taking the mop from you and setting it aside as you’re finishing. “I know someone else like that.”

“And who may that be?”

“A beautiful woman standing right in front of me.”

“Oh, beautiful, really? You wouldn’t describe her as some washed up singer?”

“Never.”

You slap his chest. “Whatever. You’re such a flirt.”

“Only with you, love.”

“I’m going outside to check on the boys.”

“Be sure they’re leaving the doxy cage alone. I caught Alex bothering it the other night. If they get out, they’ll wreak havoc out here.”

An orange cat darts away when you open the door. The dog, who’d apparently taken up a spot on the porch, chases it into the field of buzzing cicadas, howling. A hot wave of air blows past as you make your way to the simple swing. Newt built it when you first learned you were pregnant with Alex.

“A perfect place for playtime.”

For a few years, he had been right. You’d set up a gate and let Alex, and soon enough Peter, run around as you worked on some writing. Now that they’ve grown so big, already eight and six somehow, the porch swing is more suited for you and Newt to spend late nights on after the boys are tucked in and asleep upstairs.

The sun beats down on the porch, but you unroll the cream awning with a simple flick of the wrist. The swing creaks as you sit, chains groaning against the wood. You don’t mind, though. It blends in with the buzzing insects across the way, and after a couple of minutes you don’t notice either sound.

A shrill scream you recognize all too well grows louder and louder until Alex finally dashes around the corner, Peter right on his heels. The boys don’t stop, just shout and scream, disappearing into the backyard again.

A chuckle surprises you, and you look up to see Newt, a glass of water in his extended hand. “I thought you may be thirsty out here.”

“Thanks.”

“Of course, love.” He kisses the top of your head before sitting and wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“When’s this heat wave supposed to end? It’s boiling out here.”

“The weatherman on the radio thinks maybe Thursday.”

“But you don’t?”

“He hasn’t given us much of a reason to trust him, now has he?”

You nod, snuggling closer to him despite the heat. “I guess not. He was wrong about the winter. We bought all those new winter jackets for nothing.”

“We can use them when we visit Theseus in November.”

“Not at the rate Alex is growing. He’ll be too big for his by then. He’s just like his father in that regard. Never stops growing. He’s going to be ten feet tall.”

Newt’s laugh is deep as you lay your head against his chest, nestling under his chin. “I think that may be a bit of an exaggeration.”

“Except it isn’t. You’re a giant.”

“And you’re a genius.” You set your water on the porch floor.

“Then let’s hope they’re more like me.”

Newt grins and pinches your side lightly, earning a smile from you. The small fight turns into a full-on tickle war, and soon enough Newt has your back against his chest as he tickles your side. You squeal in laughter and try to pry his hands off.

“Ewww.” The shout comes from the front yard, where Alex and Peter stand with scrunched up noses.

Newt stops his attack, grinning. “Something wrong, boys?”

“You two are gross.” Alex calls.

You straighten. “Who are you to call us gross, Mr. Alex? You’re the one that doesn’t clean his nose when he takes a bath.”

Alex’s face turns red when Peter laughs.

“And you, Peter, you’re the one that leaves a mess behind anywhere he eats.”

He makes a face. “I do not.”

“Oh, you very much so do. Speaking of messes, I think there’s one in the living room. A bunch of toys left all over the ground. Someone should clean it up.”

The boys look at each other.

You laugh at their expressions before standing. “Whoever I catch gets to clean it up.”

They burst into laughter as they tear away, vanishing into the field.

Laughing, you fall back onto the swing next to Newt.

“When do you think they’ll realize you’re staying right here.”

“They won’t risk it for at least an hour. Come supper time, they’ll be around.”

Newt kisses your temple. “I love you.”

You wrap your arms around his stomach and lean your head on his shoulder, sighing in contentment. “And I love you.”

[princessmeepa]

Why won’t He Loved Me

Phaedra The younger sister of The Sweet and beautiful Goddess Ariadne, Phaedra grew madly in love with The mama’s boy Theseus and became his queen, but sadly for her, Theseus just being an a****** won’t stop lusting over Ariadne’s hourglass body and just ignored her. Luckily for Her she is madly in love with His Son name Hippolytus, Hippolytus is the opposite of his father. He is kind, brave, smart and more handsome than Theseus, Phaedra tries to seduce Him, but He politely rejected her, because She was his step mother and Never hurt his father’s feelings, after being rejected by Hippolytus, Phaedra wrote a letter to Theseus to falsely accused Hippolytus that He r*** her and She killed herself and hoping that Theseus will notice Her, but Theseus doesn’t care about Her death at all and Tells His step father Poseidon to kill his grandson for no reason. Poseidon killed Hippolytus and Theseus lived happily ever after.

[princessmeepa]

The love of wine kiss

[princessmeepa]

Theseus the mama’s boy starts a “O/F” to win his Ex girlfriend 😳😳😳 or just pretend to be his ex on “O/F”

18+

The characters from Greek myths are not mine, I was just doing this for fun.

Meanwhile The sad mama’s boy, I mean Theseus is in his dead step daddy’s basement tries to be so edgy like some emo/goth teen and can’t stop thinking about his sexy ex girlfriend (Ariadne) because she is married to Dionysus and made love with him.

Theseus: *Sobs 😭* I am so depressed *cutting both his hands and wrist because he is so edgy that his ex doesn’t love him anymore* I miss her G sides Breast and a big fat, around butt. *cuts his wrist more* *sobs some more* and She still loves that party Girly looking guy (Dionysus).

Minotaur: *Cleaning up his room because Theseus is so edgy that he did not take good care of himself* My king, will you please stop thinking about the poor former Princess and just move on. It’s not very heathy of you to keep thinking about her hourglass body.

Theseus: Shut the f*** up you stupid bull man thing. CAN’T YOU SEE! I AM IN LOVE WITH HER BEFORE THAT GIRLY LOOK GUY STEAL HER AWAY FROM ME! *Cuts his wrist and plays the song “Bring me to life” by Evanescence on his play list*

Minotaur: *Picking up some “Toys and adult play boy books/naked pictures of Ariadne without her consent “Creep”* No, you’re lusting over her hour glass body “What the Minotaur saying is true” *Throws his stuff in the trash* Now, as a dear friend Theseus, go outside and touch som glass.

Theseus: I have a idea! I will start a O/F and pretend to be my sexy ex. That will make me feel so much better.

Minotaur: My king, are you even listening to m-

Theseus: F*** OFF YOU STUPID B***! *Pulls out his smart phone and started a O/F*

Minotaur: But my king that is not a go-

Theseus: *SMACKS HIM IN THE FACE and pulls out some pictures from the trash can* I SAID F*** OFF!

Minotaur: *Sobs* This is why, both your ex girlfriend and your dead wife hates you and same as everyone else. *Leaves the room*

Theseus: *Finish up with the O/F account* Oh Boy! I can’t wait 🤤😋 her sexy 🍑🍒 pics.

Meanwhile after He starts his O/F account and pretending to be Ariadne, Dionysus threatens him “Like any good husband will do when some creepy ex is pretend to be their own wife on some Adult website” to detect his account.

Theseus: *Crying like a real mama’s boy he is* Oh my f****** gods! My hot ex girlfriend still hates me and some creepy old grown simps are asking me to take some pictures of my feet and what’s even worse That girly looking guy is threatening to kill me if I don’t detect my account. What should I do? And Where the F*** is that bull head man thing to save me?

Theseus tries to kill himself instead of facing his own problems, Dionysus breaks in to his house and beats him all up while Ariadne flirts with her husband, after He beats Him up.The end

[princessmeepa]

My beloved sweet kitty

Warning Blood and dark themes

I did not own the Greek myths at all, I’m just doing this for fun.

Theseus being a sad emo Mama’s boy he is because Ariadne is madly in love with Dionysus and married him, so Theseus decided to go kidnap Ariadne and perform some weird sacrifice on her in order to her fall in love with him and then S/A her, but Dionysus came and save his beloved wife from the mama’s boy and he also broke that weird sacrifice ritual. After Dionysus save Ariadne, he rip off Theseus’ arms so he won’t hurt anyone, and so our hero save his beautiful wife from the creepy mama’s boy doing a weird sacrifice ritual on her, Dionysus Carry his beautiful sleeping wife Ariadne home.