#There's lots of stuff here that'd take way too long to tag

[grandlinedreams]

I forgot you had that list of prompts!! Could I please please pleeeaaase request 71 Law x reader? “I’ve never seen this man before.”

Maybe like Law pisses them off and they pretend to not know him? 🥺

ofc!! I need to figure out my tagging system 'n make stuff like that easier to find when it gets buried but also I gotta get my masterlist put together at all wlkjadf but YES i live for that kind of trope as long as it's not like,,,an indicator of bigger issues bc communication is key in relationships my friends!!

[heads up!: both reader and Law are a touch of orange flag behavior, touch of angst]

"How long are you going to stay mad at Captain?"

"I don't know, Bepo." The mink looks far from reassured by your answer, eyes flicking nervously over your shoulder and then back. You don't have to turn around to know Law is staring at the pair of you, the weight of his gaze square on the back of your head. "Did he tell you to come over here and ask?"

Bepo flinches, squirming nervously. You know he doesn't want to be caught in another of your spats ㅡ though they rarely happen, it's hard to keep your crew out of them when you're all typically confined in such a finite space.

There's a lot that anger dictates you say ㅡ that it's childish of Law to make Bepo come over here to ask instead, to try and wheedle his way into getting you to apologize first because he knows there's not much you hate more than upsetting Bepo and that it's not fair to the mink to make him choose between picking sides or playing mediator.

"Are you mad at me too?" Bepo's question pulls you out of your thoughts and you shake your head, expression softening.

"Of course not, I could never be angry with you." Again, you have to bite your tongue not to add more that'd further the distinct air of a pair of parents at odds with each other. "You can go back to Law, if you want."

Bepo still looks uneasy, but he slides off his seat and moves back towards where Law is sitting with Shachi and Penguin. Even though you know that you shouldn't assume, you don't blame them for taking his side. After all, they've known him longer, been through more with him, he means more to them.

But you? Even though you know they don't see you as such, you're temporary. The crew won't fall apart without you. You can leave and while it'll hurt for a while, they'll get over it.

You've never once feared that Law would demand you leave, but the fury in his eyes during your argument makes you reconsider it. Maybe you'd finally gone too far, and he's finally truly tired of having you around.

The idea of leaving the vessel that's been your home for the last handful of years and the people who have become your family makes your chest ache and your eyes burn with the threat of tears. You don't want to leave.

Lost in your your thoughts and the spiral that your mind threatens to tumble into, the hard clink of glass against the counter makes you jolt. Looking up at the bartender, you watch him jerk his head. "From that gentleman. You know him?"

The drink in front of you is your favorite. Normally you'd be touched that Law remembers such an obscure detail you've only ever mentioned off-handedly, but right now it feels like a slap to the face. Law is still trying everything he can but talking to you.

"I don't know that man at all," you tell the bartender flatly, handing over a couple of berri for your already finished drink and get to your feet. The path you take is intentional as you stalk past your crewmates' table, giving Law a look of icy fury before you continue on.

"You know Captain," Penguin suggests tentatively, "you could always just apologize. [Name] looked super pissed."

Law scowls. "More like being stubborn," he huffs, but guilt still pools in his stomach as he glances at the untouched drink on the counter. It feels like a cheap attempt at forgiveness the more he thinks about it, and he groans. "Fine, fine. I trust you can find your way back on your own?"

"We've got it, don't worry!"

Law gets to his feet, dropping off the appropriate berri for his drink as well before he moves off in the direction that you'd gone. The Polar Tang is quiet by the time he reaches it, lights dimmed for nightfall ㅡ and he slows his pace as he approaches his room.

What is he going to say? He knows he should apologize, but so should you ㅡ you've always had an innate talent for getting under his skin, something that he both loves and hates for how easily you do it. And while fights are truly something few and far between, this last one has left a bad taste in his mouth that only worsens the longer he lets it go.

Exhaling, he reaches for the handle. Part of him expected it to be locked ㅡ but it isn't, and his gaze flicks to you as soon as he walks in. Your back is to him, blanket pulled to your ear ㅡ but he knows the various rhythms of your breathing well enough to know you're not asleep.

He doesn't talk right away, busies himself with getting ready for bed as well before settling behind you and resisting the urge to roll his eyes when you scoot further from him. "Can we talk?"

"I guess." Your tone is clipped, and Law frowns as he reaches for you, hand on your arm.

"Are you going to look at me?"

"No."

Sighing, Law waits a moment before he begins tracing idle shapes against your arm, trying to soothe some of your anger. He knows you well, the way you can never quite stop yourself from leaning into him just a little bit, no matter how upset you are. "...this got out of hand."

You snort. "An understatement," you answer, but you lean a little further into him, and he takes it as a good sign.

"We both said things we didn't mean, and I wanted to apologize for how I talked to you." Law pauses. "And for sending Bepo to talk for me. And the drink."

"I would have drank it, but it felt like a cop out." You roll to face him properly now, and Law hates that he can see the red tinge around your eyes that always means you've been crying. "I'm sorry too, I shouldn't have said any of that either. But you need to talk to me Law, you can't just shut me out because you don't want to be a bother."

"I know." It's easier said than done, but you're patient. He knows that, knows that because you've told him time and time again that there isn't anything that will make you love him any less, either from his past or in the future. ("You're stuck with me," you like to say proudly, and he's never heard better sounding words than that.) "I'll keep working on it."

"We can work on it together," you answer as you press closer and he finally, finally gets to hold you the way he's wanted to since you stormed off after the argument. "We're a team, you and I. You're stuck with me until you don't want me anymore."

Law stills for a moment and then wraps his arms around you, tucking his face into your neck. "Forever," he mumbles. "That's how long I want you. Is that okay?"

You shift against him just enough to press your hand against the back of his head, fingers brushing soft, dark hair. "That sounds perfect to me."

[olderthannetfic]

I just got a comment saying I should have tagged for dom/sub undertones and I'm a little confused. In canon, this guy always bosses his wife around re: doing shit that's healthy for her - napping, drinking water, remembering to eat more than once a day, getting more than 3 hours of sleep - and she lovingly calls him "Boss Man" as a nickname because of it. On some occasions where she's gone more than a day without eating he'll swipe her phone and order her to eat before she gets it back, something she always seems to find endearing. There's a lot of 'I didn't mean to worry you', 'you're worth worrying about, now here's your favorite homemade walnut bread' stuff, all there in canon, just lifted from canon and transplanted into my fic.

Is this dom/sub stuff? I'm aroace so I've never been in a relationship, but I assumed "take care of yourself" "I will but I will call you a silly nickname over it" was regular relationship stuff. Or is it that the frequency of it makes it dom/sub stuff, and I'm just not grasping that because my neurodivergency is making me not read the social cues correctly? I was only recently diagnosed but this has been a problem for a long time, the whole line between normal and abnormal behavior, so I thought I'd ask you. You're much more well-read than I am and know a lot more about shipping dynamics and how they're tagged. I feel like you're an expert whose opinion carries a lot of conclusions-informed-by-knowledge and so your take could help me figure this out.

People who are doms or subs or write them, if you have a guide on this stuff, that'd be cool, too. I want to educate myself more so I know if I should tag something. After all, I can't get my story to people who want to read it if it doesn't show up in the tags they're searching for. Readers aren't mindreaders. It's on me to make sure they can get ahold of the things they're looking for. I just need to work around my own ADHD-addled brain to do it.

--

I think this is the usual pattern of demanding silly tags that would only make sense in that reader's own bookmarks.

Yes, caretaking and food control of various kinds can be a part of BDSM. No, your description of canon does not make it sound like this has obvious undertones.

Readers are going to have different interpretations. It's possible that other readers would agree with this one. I have my doubts. I suspect they're projecting. But sure, maybe other people would think there was some of that vibe.

However, if you did not intend the fic to read this way, I would not add the tag. This is not what the fic is about.

--

As for what this kind of thing can look like when it is intended as a dom/sub activity, the movie Secretary has a bunch of examples. She calls him on the phone to tell him what her family's dinner looks like that night; he gives her instructions about which things she can eat how much of. The way she acts while making that phone call makes it clear it's an exciting game to her. Another time, he tells her she's not allowed to cut herself anymore: he will provide what she needs.

Even if the characters are being playful, just nagging someone to do basic self care doesn't really come across as this. It's more charged when it's an intentional power exchange thing.

It's more like... hmm... if you and a friend agreed to LARP as characters for a day. Even if you were acting fairly normal and doing things you'd often do anyway, there would be this added extra vibe to it that someone who knew you well could probably detect.

It's not so much about the specific behaviors: it's about the extra meaning those people ascribe to them. If it doesn't seem like the canon characters think of this caretaking any specific way and you, as the fic author, don't see it that way, then I don't think it will generally read as a dom/sub thing to most readers.

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

Better Off - Bernard DeMarco x OFC - Chapter 13

Masterlist | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12

AO3

Summary: As she adjusts to life without DeMarco, Susie finds catharsis with the arrival of a new face at Thorpe Abbotts

Warnings: none

Word Count: 2.8k

Tags: @xxluckystrike @latibvles @footprintsinthesxnd @mads-weasley @joyfulbookreviewmarvelspy @justheretoreadthxxs @blakelysco-pilot

A/N: I'm so sorry this chapter has taken soooo long. I got really stuck on this one for some reason, and I've rewritten this chapter several times, but I hope you enjoy it!!

Hiya Suze

If you get this letter, it'll probably come as a bit of a surprise. By now I'm sure you've got my footlocker - which means you've read what I left inside as well. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that I meant every word, but I'll say it all again if you want. I was nervous when I wrote it. I wasn't sure you'd wanna hear what I had to say, but now I know you'll need it.

I'm alive. I love you. I miss you every day.

I got picked up with Gale and some of the others when the plane went down. We're in a POW camp now, but it ain't so bad. We got beds and food and we're all here together, so I don't want you to worry. There's a library here too, which'll probably be getting a lotta use if I'm here a long while. You should send me a list of your favourite books, I'll see if I can find any of them.

Look after Meatball - make sure he doesn't forget his Pops. I'm only allowed to send one letter at a time, so I left a note at the end of this for my folks. If you'd mind passing on a message to let them know where I'm at, that'd be swell.

I dunno how long this'll take to get to you, but do me a favour and write back as soon as you can. I wanna hear everything, even the stuff you think's boring, cuz knowing you I'll only get a paragraph back if you edit that stuff out.

It's cold here without you. I'm not really a praying man, but I pray this will all be over soon so I can see you again.

All my love,

Benny

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Susie wasn't quite sure how many times she'd read Benny's letter, poking through the words over and over and over again until she could practically recite them from memory. She knew whatever the real number was would undoubtedly be embarrassing - there was mercy in not knowing. No one said a word when she slept with it tucked beneath her pillow.

Dear Benny

I've started calling you Benny now that you're not here. It still feels weird. I went to see my sister Beatrice after you went down, before I knew you were ok. She's divorcing her husband, and we talk on the phone a lot. I think we're doing better. It's nice.

Not much in the way of news to report. We've had some bad missions lately - I hope at least some of them end up where you are.

I think Maeve fancies one of Rosie's crew. Not sure which one yet. Will let you know once I figure it out. She says hi, and also wants to know if you'll sign off on letting her look after Meatball when I'm busy (He's still not allowed in my truck. Not happening.)

I know you can only send letters every now and then, but I don't know how many you can receive. I'll keep writing whenever anything letter-worthy comes up - let me know if you get them.

I hope it's not too long before I hear from you again.

I miss you too.

Susie

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

I love you, I love you, I love you.

Why was it so hard to write down? He wasn't even here - she'd never have to see the way his face lit up when he read those words, imagining them with her voice. Perhaps that was why. Perhaps, as difficult as it was for her to say, Susie could only bear to say it to his face. She stared at the letter in her hands, fighting the sudden urge to ball the paper up in her fist. He deserved more than these words - something substantive and real and tender to keep him going wherever he was. But when Susie reached for those things, nothing came.

With a sigh, she slotted the letter into its envelope.

She squinted against the icy wind as she stepped outside, letter tucked in her pocket, wrapping her coat tighter around herself, knuckled turning red and sore in the cold. Her scarf flapped back and forth, loose strands of hair catching in the corner of her mouth, and Susie almost lost her balance as the weight of another body fell against her, arms flung around her neck as she tried not to skid against the gravel. "Fuckin' hell," She chuckled, Maeve's laughter ringing in her ear as the girl planted her feet firmly back on the ground, falling in step beside her, arms still slung around Susie's neck in a sideways embrace.

"Morning," Maeve chirped, gloved fingers drumming an incoherent rhythm against her shoulder.

"Where've you been?"

"Took Meatball for a walk before breakfast. Saw Blakely - he says we should come by the O-Club for drinks since we haven't been in a while. Oh, and fun news for you," She had begun to smirk.

"Oh yeah?" Susie asked, pulling her scarf up to warm her chin.

"They want you training the newbie today."

Her expression contorted into an immediate grimace at the prospect. "Oh, no, I was supposed to go up to Norwich today."

"Yeah, they've given me that job."

"Are you fucking kidding?"

"Nope. Apparently she's from London."

Susie groaned, leaning sideways with her full weight until Maeve had to stagger to keep upright, a giggle escaping her. "Oh, come on," She whined. "Bet she's never seen a single-track road in her fucking life."

"Yeah, alright, Manchester," Maeve scoffed. "Get off yer high horse."

Shrugging the girl's arms off from around her, Susie snorted, readjusting her scarf. "Yeah, yeah. Just lemme go deal with it, unless you have someone else's job to steal."

"I'm happy just taking yours, actually," Maeve teased, laughing as Susie elbowed her in the side.

"Whatever. Just need to post this letter and then you can fuck off."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The engine of Maeve's truck roared as she pulled out of the ATS depot, heading out on the job that should have been Susie's. As she watched her go, she sighed. She'd never imagined anyone could yearn to go to Norwich, yet here she was. Drumming her fingers impatiently against the back of her clipboard, she crossed the yard towards the furthest garage, where her truck was parked.

A girl was standing awkwardly beside it, staring down at her feet as she tugged at her jacket, which didn't quite fit her properly. Her jet-black curls were pulled back into a tight ponytail, so neat that Susie found herself pondering at how long it must have taken.

She paused, glancing down at her notes. "... Private Banerjee? Yes?"

The girl looked up with a start, clearing her throat nervously. "Eva's fine. But yeah - no, yeah, that's right."

Susie paused a moment, slightly taken aback by her anxious exuberance. "Jesus, how old are you?"

"Eighteen."

"... Right. And you can drive?"

"Mhm. Although they said they're not letting me have a truck for a while."

"Well then, it's a good thing I'm in charge," With a shrug, Susie strolled past Eva and around the truck, patting a hand against the bonnet. "Hop in. Driver's side."

Eva moved before she had quite processed the instruction, pausing after her first step. "Wait. Seriously?"

"That's an order, Private," Susie called as she climbed into the passenger seat, a glint in her eye that suggested she was enjoying this. The new girl slid into her seat hesitantly, slightly put off by this.

"I think we'll just do a lap of the base first, 'n I'll show you where everything is."

"Yes, sir... Ma'am?"

She pulled a face. "I'll call you Eva if you call me Susie."

Eva chuckled. "Deal."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The engine hummed quietly as the truck rested on the side of the road, windows rolled up against the winter cold as Susie pointed out the buildings that surrounded them. "That's the mess over there, and past it's the Officers' club," She grunted slightly, shuffling forward in her seat to get a better view. Eva craned her head, squinting as her gaze followed the line her finger made.

"What's this one?" She asked, gesturing to the closest hut.

"Debrief. You probably won't need to go in there, though."

"What's debrief?"

"It's where they send the flight crews after a mission - go over everything that happened, get a count of who went down, yunno."

At the mention of lost crews, Eva seemed to tighten, her shoulders going stiff as she sat back in her seat, staring down into her lap. Susie watched her for a moment, letting out a sigh. Propping a knee up on the seat, she turned to face her.

"Hey," She offered gently. "I'm not gonna lie to you and say this job's easy, that wouldn't do you any favours. We live around these guys and, yeah, sometimes it's hard not to get attached. You might meet someone who means a lot to you, who you swear you couldn't bear to lose. I've-" Susie paused. "... I've heard that can happen, anyway."

Gnawing at the inside of her lip, Eva nodded, tearing her gaze away from the hands folded in her lap. As she glanced up, something caught her eye, and she paused for a moment, a slight smile curling her lip.

"... Is she your sister? She looks like you."

Caught off guard, Susie looked up, noticing the old photo of Ellie still stuck to the rearview mirror. She felt her hand twitch, fighting that old recurring urge to snatch the picture away, to keep her a secret clutched tight to her chest.

But the thing was, Ellie would have never wanted to be anyone's secret. Ellie's dreams had been far too big for that.

"Uh, yeah. She was prettier than me though."

Eva's smile widened, and Susie couldn't tell if she hadn't noticed her use of the past tense, or if it simply didn't bother her.

"Yeah, mine was too."

The reply caught her by surprise. People always offered condolences. No one ever seemed to understand her. In spite of herself, she smiled. How long had it been since Susie had thought of her sister and smiled?

"What was her name?" She asked slowly.

"Sruthi," Eva nodded. "She was born back in India, and then my parents had me when they moved here. I think when they named me they wanted me to fit in with the other English kids, but I was always a bit jealous of her."

Susie chuckled, nodding. "Mine was called Ellie. She was annoying, but in that way younger siblings always get away with, yunno?"

Eva laughed in agreement. "Oh, yeah - I was always like that. Jumping on her to wake her up in the morning-"

"She did that too!" Susie blurted loudly, suddenly realising she was grinning - really, truly grinning. The pair chuckled, easing into comfortable silence. Outside the window, a group of flight and ground crew wandered past, chatting to one another, bundled in their coats and scarves. A flash of reddish hair marked Charlotte out among them, Meatball weaving between her legs, his leash secure in her hand.

"Why is everyone stealing my dog today?" She muttered, temple pressing against the cold glass as she angled for a better look.

"They let you have a dog?!" Eva gasped, shuffling forward on the edge of her seat as she searched for him.

"Well," Susie shrugged, pausing to rummage in the glovebox for a snack. "He's my partner's dog really - he brought him over from Greenland, but he's in one of those POW camps, so I'm looking after it. He's kinda becoming communal property though."

"Shit, I'm sorry," Eva frowned, accepting a slightly crumbled biscuit as the packet was offered to her, the two pausing their conversation to chew for a moment. "I always wanted a dog."

"I'm more of a cat person. But Meatball's pretty good."

"His name's Meatball? That's, uh-"

"It's a stupid fucking name."

A burst of surprised laughter escaped Eva. "Yeah, it kinda is."

"It's like naming your dog fucking Sandwich, but it was already very much a thing by the time I had any say."

Smiling, Eva propped her elbow up against the door, resting her chin against her knuckles.

"... What's your boyfriend's name?" She asked tentatively.

"Benny. He is the most annoyingly persistent person you'll ever meet in your life, but it's literally the only reason we ended up being friends in the first place. So I s'pose it was worth it."

It fell quiet again, the type of quiet Susie didn't feel an intense need to pierce. She could sit in this for a while. If she hadn't had a job to do, she would've.

"Alright, c'mon. Let's finish up and head back."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The passenger side door shut with a slam as Susie climbed out, clipboard wedged under her arm as she wrapped her scarf back around her neck against the chill, which showed no signs of subsiding as the morning trailed into afternoon. A puff of breath materialised before her as she rounded the truck, coming up to Eva's window as she cranked it down.

"Not much else I can give you to do today, but if you're back here at eight-thirty tomorrow we'll get you on something. I'll speak to the bosses and see if we can get you a truck a bit sooner, it'll just make things easier."

"Okay," Eva smiled. "Thank you."

"Yeah, no bother," Susie shrugged, glancing down at her notes. "I've got some stuff I've gotta deal with, but me and some of the other girls were gonna head to the Officers' club for drinks later if you wanna come."

"Uh... no-"

"Oh, yeah, no worries," She nodded, frowning slightly.

"No, no! Only because I don't drink, s'all. It sounds nice... I was wondering if I could maybe walk the dog sometime? Or come with you when you take him out?" Eva asked sheepishly, suddenly awkward in a way that made Susie fight the urge to smile.

"Yeah, that sounds good," She smirked. "Come by the hut whenever, he's always happy to see people. He has too much energy for me anyway."

A grin creased the younger girl's cheeks. "Alright!"

"Alright," Susie chuckled, patting the truck door with a thud as she took a step back. "Take her into the garage and then you can head out."

"Yes ma'am."

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

DeMarco's gloved hands lay folded across his chest, his back propped up uncomfortably against the bedframe, breath freezing in front of his face. With a bored frown, he watched the spider in the corner of the windowsill, working away at its web, spinning each silver thread with a sense of purpose he could only yearn for, sitting there in the cramped hut.

Despite the bodies that filled it, the place was quiet, exhaustion lulling the downed flight crews into silence. It had been weeks since he'd slept well, and he'd never imagined he could ache for the uncomfortable beds back at Thorpe Abbotts until now. The guard dogs barked at all hours of the night, searchlights glaring at them through the windows over and over and over, around and around and around.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting there, unmoving, just watching. All he knew was that he didn't have any intention of going anywhere.

The floorboards creaked loudly as Brady hurried in, a handful of envelopes clutched tightly in his gloved palm. The energy in the room shifted, like a pack of dogs whose ears had suddenly pricked. Post came unpredictably, and when it did it always promised to either lift the spirits or crush them entirely.

One by one, Brady sifted through the letters, calling out their anxious recipients.

"DeMarco," He said, holding up a single, battered envelope.

Stillness immediately shattered, DeMarco leapt to his feet, hurrying towards him and snatching the letter swiftly from his grip. The cold numbed his fingertips, even through the gloves, and it was a struggle to tear through the envelope without damaging its contents, forcing restraint despite the agonising need to read whatever words were encased within.

He unfolded the paper, running a hand across his stubbled chin as his eyes scanned through the loops and curls of Susie's handwriting, a grin spreading across his expression as he went. It wasn't until Bucky chuckled beside him that he realised how widely he was beaming.

"What's got you smiling?" He asked with a smirk.

DeMarco let out a breath of laughter, looking up from the page.

"She called me Benny."

[necrotic-nephilim]

Sorry if this might be a rude question but why don’t you just make a seperate account for your nsfw fics?

not rude, it's a valid question! tbh it's a combination of a couple reasons.

i started posting anonymous dead dove batcest fics long before i had the balls to make a tumblr. at first i was content to just leave them unassociated with each other because i didn't really care about them being tied to me. i made this blog to actually show solidarity to my partner who wanted to make a sideblog for Sandman comic stuff so we could cheerlead each other and be brave together, since i've wanted to make a batcest sideblog but i've been nervous about actually having to get it going. (mal ik you're reading this go be brave and actually make your blog so i can cheerlead you damnit-) only did it dawn on me then that i should probably mention the fics i've written on the blog after like, three of them were posted anonymously. and it would've annoyed me to have half of them anonymous and half of them not, because notifications for them would've gone in different places. i could go back and take my fics off anon if i wanted to, but i can't switch the account they're on without taking them down entirely and that'd fuck over people who have them bookmarked already.

which, ties into my second reason, if i made an entire second ao3 account it'd be harder for me to see notifications, reply to stuff, and post things for both accounts because i'd have to constantly switch. and honestly i'd be terrified of accidentally posting on the wrong one on a brain fog day. posting fics is always the most tedious part of writing them for me lol. it's easier for me to stay logged into one account and have all of my stuff in one place for me and just use the anonymous collection when i feel like it. if ao3 pseuds worked like tumblr blogs, where you can't see all my side blogs but i can, i would've used pseuds, but since you can see all pseuds on an ao3, i felt it was a moot point.

and the last reason is i just feel more comfortable being anonymous on ao3 because of the rise in anti culture. on tumblr it's very easy for me to just filter that out and find the people i want to follow and block the people i don't. i don't mind getting hate, on tumblr or on ao3. but i think, for whatever reason you want to blame it on, there's been a massive boom of antis on ao3 who are very entitled about how they read on ao3. i tag extensively, but i just feel safer from getting targeted attacks if everything i write on ao3 isn't attached to one profile. if people like a fic i wrote, want to find more i always link my tumblr in the notes, but if an anti wants to get huffy with me, they can't easily track down my other things. they definitely could if they wanted to, but being anonymous on ao3 just makes me feel more secluded, in a weird way. it's like saying "if you want you can come find me but on here i'm just a weird faceless guy throwing stuff in the void". i've used ao3's anon feature a lot, actually, i used to be a hydra trash party dumpster kid back when that was in it's prime.

i also used to be vaguely popular on a different tumblr blog and my main ao3 and while i think it'd definitely be cool if i got a decent chunk of followers on this blog too, i don't really miss having fanfiction do so well i got targetted hate on all of my fics from the same people, i had my fics stolen, etc. it was really exhausting for me. i have 120+ works on ao3, not counting what's anonymous, and that level of exposure tires me, even when i use my main ao3 to post things that aren't trashy. it's just a weird feeling knowing so many people are subscribed to you on ao3 and what if you post something they won't like because you jumped fandoms again, or you're posting something niche, or you don't think it fills enough fandom tropes to be well-liked. i used to obsessively think like that, and it made me not write the things i wanted to because i cared about numbers. and i don't want to slide back into that hole. writing on anonymous is mostly to remind myself i wrote this for me, and if other people like it, they can come find me, but i don't have to perform like that anymore. if i get a really weird fucked up idea, i can write the really weird fucked up idea. at the end of the day, just makes me more comfortable! but i get it's a super confusing set up from an outsider perspective so, i really don't mind the question, thank you for asking!!

[animatedjen]

Hi! So I am relatively new to the Jedi games but became so quickly and deeply obsessed, and seeing another user send you a headcanon has inspired me to share one too, because I have no one I can talk about this stuff with IRL, haha. I guess a warning that it's kinda nsfw (like, VERY mildly), so it's TOTALLY okay if you don't want to post this.

Ever since finishing the game I've been thinking so much about Merrin and Cal and how their relationship will change now that they've admitted and embraced the fact that they have feelings for each other. Part of me for a while was thinking maybe Cal had his "first time" with someone he met through the Rebellion in the five-ish years between Fallen Order and Survivor, but the more I thought about it, the more I felt that it would be more in character for him to uphold the part of the Jedi code that forbids romantic attachments. Like, he was just so focused on fighting the Empire that even when a slight interest in a person did arise within him, he convinced himself that it was not only against the code, but a distraction from the fight. So, he pushed all those feelings away.

This leads me to my headcanon that Cal's first time is with Merrin after the events of Survivor. While I don't have lots of specifics in mind as to when or how it comes about, I imagine that when it does happen, it is the softest, slowest, sweetest first time in the history of first times. I like the idea of Cal, this person who dives headfirst into everything and (as Cameron once said himself) "kind of likes to fight," just being incredibly thoughtful and deliberate and maybe even nervous about allowing himself to be that vulnerable with another person. Like, all these powerful emotions and powerful physical feelings would be overcoming him, and the sheer magnitude of it all would cause him to slow down and ask Merrin to lead the way, and he'll follow, so that he knows he's not hurting her or taking things too fast.

And Merrin, who is always ribbing him and teasing him and having silly banter about who's stronger, who's faster, etc., abandons all of that during their first time and is just purely kind, patient, attentive, and present with him, taking pleasure in taking the lead and cherishing the trust that he's put in her. And when it's over, I like to think they just lay together talking quietly for who knows how long, with Cal holding Merrin tight against him and Merrin tracing her fingers along his skin, maybe along his tattoo or his scars, while they tell each other stories and pretend like they'll never have to get up and leave this wondrous place <3

My offline Star Wars community is pretty small, so it's nice to have people on here to share ideas with :) So glad you enjoy the Jedi games!!

There's a lot of narrative weight to Cal and Merrin: the Nightsister massacre being led by a lightsaber (Grievous), the manipulation from Malicos, the Jedi views of attachment and dark magick. They're both survivors of a war that destroyed their families, and they take turns helping each other heal and grow.

Almost every main character in FO/Survivor is a foil to Cal in some way - but unlike all these fallen Jedi, Merrin looks to the future and finds new purpose while still honoring her past. I think that's something Cal really admires in her.

I love the trust and steadiness that they have together regardless of romantic attraction. Admittedly I haven't read Battle Scars and didn't go into Survivor wanting a relationship for Cal, so I may not be the best person to share intimacy headcanons with?? But I'm supportive of the story Respawn wants to tell, and recognize the weight/importance of their connection when it comes to Jedi 3. These tags on my recent post are kind of where I'm at:

Also Star Wars is very much lacking in the "healthy relationship that LASTS and no one DIES" department so if these two can break the trend, that'd be great 🙌

[anfeycare]

hello! welcome to my blog!

💙 support my projects on Ko-fi or Patreon!

💙 send things or see more info here!

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💙 my art tag here is "#anfey care"!

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MY MOST IMPORTANT RAMBLINGS

🖤 i don't believe in concepts like "ugly" and "dumb"

🖤 i'm against generative A.I.s and N.F.T.s

🖤 i don't allow reuploads, only reblogs of my posts

i'm Anfey Care, a queer non-binary artist and writer! i go by gender neutral words only (as for pronouns: "they/them" — "ê/elu/-e" in portuguese)

i enjoy art and science. i'm a fan of lots of things, specially Undertale, Dead Plate, Married in Red, Cold Front, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Omori, and Adventure Time! i'm brazilian, too. you're welcome to follow me if you enjoy:

art, pixel art, animation;

books, comics, mangas;

cuteness, horror, comedy;

games, music;

indie, alternative things;

queer, LGBT+, gay stuff;

shows, cartoons, animes;

thought-provoking stuff;

nerdy things in general!

i'm fairly silly, quite gay, and very nerd!

nice to meet ya!

( ^ ꒳ ^ ) [cute face smiling*]

(*i can use text in brackets like this to describe text emojis for screen readers; similarly, i can use text in brackets preceded by a slash as tone indicators, such as: [/silly] )

🐾 ooo, look! you found a boop post! 🐾

���✨ about me: ✨

besides being a silly gay queer nerd artist and writer, i'm atypical, a furry, a fan-enby of a bunch of characters, an adult and a game dev. i'm an introverted, shy, and asocial person. somewhat antisocial too; sometimes i can be completely silent and spend weeks alone when too overwhelmed from socialization. (i'm INFP and pisces, but i don't take these seriously, although i can relate at times)

i'm completely atheist. i don't mind religion, even if i might take it as stories and thoughts, but i just don't mind as long as it isn't fanatic christian stuff — i was raised around these people and it got me very tired of those things.

i graduated on a game development technical course i took along with high school (public education, got in through an entrance exam, got in first place on the classification list), and i'm often studying things on my own, like languages. i draw, design, paint, conceptualize, illustrate, make pixel art, research, edit, write, and can animate and code too — sometimes i also try music, acting, photography, and cosplay. i'm still working on being an indie game dev; for now, i'm mainly an artist and writer

as for how i identify as LGBT+, i'm queer as in all pan a-spec atractions-wise. gender-wise, i identify as pangender, which in my case includes agender; i'm transneutral and non-binary (and — it's obvious but just to mention — gender non-conforming). i usually put it all in short by just saying i'm a queer enby, or a pan a-spec enby, but i don't shy away from just saying i'm gay (as in i'm definitely not straight)

as an enby, i'm also dionysian (more often known as diamoric), and any kind of relationship with me would be called this — 'cause they'd have an enby (me) in them. you could call me almost anything from the LGBTQ+ definitions and that'd still be almost fitting, but if you were to call me something accurately fitting, that's queer, pan a-spec, diamoric/dionysian and enby, heheh

i could be considered legally blind, as i can't see anything a few inches away from my face without glasses (8 degrees in each lens, but i've been needing a new prescription for some years... couldn't afford it yet). i suspect i might be neurodivergent (ADHD, ASPD and autistic, mainly), and i have lots of symptoms of depression, anxiety and C-PTSD, but also can't afford to look into those. (funny fact: i managed to get in a psychology college earlier in 2024, and for a good while was studying psychology there before even being able to go see a psychologist-) (i still do deep researches about those topics of mental health)

from the way i understand relationships and concepts related to it and to living in society — understandings that have some connections to my pan a-spec (includes asocial) pangender agender way of being ��, i'm also non-monogamous in attractions and beliefs. i could be either in a monogamous or non-monogamous relationships romantically, though. i'd do fine in any, i can adapt quite well to who i love and/or like and care about! it could even be an undefined relationship — it all would be up to who i'd be with. (i'd develop an attachment, and even a hyperfixation on them, too, which would make it even easier for me to adapt,,, anyways-)

i know spanish and french, besides portuguese and english. i don't have a lot of practice with those other two languages, but i can understand them well (speaking portuguese helps, heh). i still want to learn more languages — for now, i'm also studying japanese, LIBRAS and ASL from time to time

i aim for diversity, inclusion and equity, specially for my games. that's a reason why i study a lot, and that's also why i want to make most of my creations available for free. and that's why i encourage you to give me support if you want, as it helps it all to be free of charge, and can give you a custom art or some cool extra things for a low tip!

i'm interested in:

Undertale;

Rot in Paradise;

Dead Plate;

Married in Red;

Elevator Hitch;

Cold Front;

Bittersweet Sentence;

Eloquent Countenance;

The Picture of Dorian Gray;

The Owl House;

Omori;

Revolutionary Girl Utena;

Deltarune;

Dracula;

Adventure Time;

She-ra and the Princesses of Power;

KinitoPET;

My Little Pony;

Sonic;

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared;

Welcome Home;

Puella Magi Madoka Magica;

Studio Investigrave in general;

and the Daycare attendant from FNAF

i also like to roleplay/perform as characters at times, and used to play D&D, besides liking the RPG genre in videogames itself

as you see, i'm all over the place — i'm not completely organized, and i allow myself to let some things be messy (like tags); it's what works best for me, as far as i noticed

i like lots of things! and, though i enjoy horror, i don't make much art of this kind. plus, i create original stories, art, and characters of my own, like Safey — they're my mascot persona, and they're the fox creature on the pixel art by the start of this blog post. i have a bunch of projects i develop on my own, including ideas of comics and games! and sometimes i write poems, generally in portuguese, but i mix languages and write in english at times

i usually make cute things! whenever i happen to make something scary or with sensitive topics, i let it with the warnings i think it needs. personally, i'm positive about NSFW topics, specially sexual-related ones, in regular conditions. however, i very rarely allude to NSFW — if anything, it can be there as subtext, if i ever even include anything like that at all. to my mind, these are not NSFW, but either way: i do enjoy artistic nude art, i do like philosophically/sociologically/literarily analytical thoughts and texts that could be about/related to sexual topics, and i also do like (well, you know) horror. i take a different approach on my own art that's around these, but you can avoid it if i ever make it due to the warnings, and i hope you will use the warnings' opportunity to avoid it if you're sensitive or just don't want to see it.

overall, specially for other people like me, i want my space to be a safe space

Undertale, Dead Plate, and Married in Red are my most favorite pieces of media, so i'm drawn towards them most of the time. for the characters in those respectively, Flowey and Sans, Vincent, and Bok-su are my favorites (i know, they're the popular ones... sorry, heh, i genuinely love them)

nice to meet you, and i hope you will like what i create!

thanks for reading!

see ya! ( ^ ꒳ ^ ) [cute face smiling]

[spinnyspinnyspinnnn]

Whoever the fuck that Sophie in Wonderland person is, is disgusting btw.

I don't care that she's pro-endo. Way too many people are and blocking exists if I don't agree with them in a way that we can't negotiate. It's her paranoia inducing post for the pro-endo community, about taking everything away from us systems, and her responses to people. One of her, apparently, many controversies.

I am anti-endo myself, for a variety of reasons including common fucking sense. And the way she is acting and typing, makes me worried.

On one ask from someone about the post, she says these things(under the cut, in case someone gets triggered. Could be similarly paranoia inducing as her original post.)

"I imagine it is. Especially when anti-endos have done their best to sharpen and hone the exact fears I'm targeting so they could control their followers."

"I don't like the word threatening. It implies a lack of follow-through."

"What I'm promising is an international plural wave. That I do my part to spread awareness of plurality to others who will spread it to others and so on and so on."

"And slowly but surely, this wave will turn the vast majority of anti-endos pro-endo. And that yes, anti-endos who cling to hatred as acceptance prevails will lose their spaces and the people they care about because a tolerant society won't tolerate their hate."

"It's a long, arduous process to get there. But get there we will. The only consolation for anti-endos is that they have time to choose to be better people before we get there."

Look, I do research on stuff because I'm a writer, a lot of my headmates help me with that too. We are also a RAMCOA survivor with firsthand experience of this. So it doesn't seem out of the ordinary in my mind when I say that this sounds like a fucking cult in the making. Some plurality "acceptance" cult of some kind, as she apparently plans on following through and making people aware of "plural rights" through mainstream media, and converting anti-endos into pro-endos. And the people that "hate" endos are going to turn out to be awful, bigoted people. It sounds like brainwashing, converting, and believing.

If endos can stay in their lane, that'd be wonderful. I don't care that you exist, I block and move on and try not to incite discourse on it because I know my stance and it isn't changing anytime soon. But stay the fuck out of systempunk. Stay out of system tags. Stay in your lane. Because that's your biggest example right now, endos. That's the major person of your community, and people, mostly anti-endos that I see, are logically disgusted by her. I just drew these connections because I went doomscrolling upon hearing about her bullshit, and the quotes I pulled are from one post alone.

Sophie in Wonderland is not welcome here, and neither is her concept on the most debilitating part of my goddamn life. My disability is not your toy to toss around willy-nilly and assume it's for everyone. Nobody should want this. And anybody who would has a problem. Maybe not whatever pro-endos claim we call them. But it's sickening to think about. If I could choose to be a system or not, I would NOT be a system. Because why would you want this. Really. Why.

[fictionfixations]

twst halloween

so ive been reading the events for twst all day. (like the dialogue for the stories)

SO. okay so i need to talk about halloween for a second--

so of course, spoilers for the event

deep breaths (i had started writing while reading. then i got very frustrated and it went on from there. haha. it gets long.)

---------------------------------

unique magic Tag. something like that

Where they can mark something, and it'll have a specific tag unique to that person (it'll stay in their memory until the tag is removed or fades away, in which the memory will fade normally instead of never). They could also tag items to that person (as in it'll have that person's unique signature that ties them together).

….honestly ive been like reading the twst halloween stuff. ( SPOILERS ) and for pomefiore they're in like the mirror hall and these mfs kept taking pictures INSIDE when its NOT ALLOWED (…bruh now people know what it looks like inside! what if theres like a flaw thats been caught on camera that'd help future criminal doers do something there!?)

anyway. so i was thinking of confiscating like phones. but so it doesnt get lost, or given to the wrong person.

this random pomefiore student being able to tag people with skin contact (example: passing the phone along, light touch on, say, the hand and the phone, and thus tagging and attaching them together through a line only they can see)

and it'd also help if say that same person did something malicious like 'hey, that's not your phone!' or 'i know that person!'

sorry im just kind of really ticked off at them. and all the other magicam monsters i swear--

im angry ranting now

oKAY for one that guy who was climbing the apple tree. you realize that if you do that people are just gonna want to do that to for the views so they'll climb it evne if they have no experience in it and will probably injure themselves or worse!?

ALSO THE FLOWERS. SCREAMS in heartslabyul OH MY GOD (i think id actually get so frustrated too though like bruh. idfk. WHAT IF THEYRE POISONOUS? i mean they probably wouldnt be out in the open but like. HELLO? YOU DONT KNOW THESE PLANTS. [they're for like potions] WTF ARE YOU DOING. THEY COULD BE HOME TO A VICIOUS SPECIES FOR ALL YOU KNOW YOU IDIOT)

pictures are horrendous. savanaclaw… 1. Why the fuck did someone make up some bs rumor that putting like treasure on your head (its fake tho) would like grant you a wish? WHY? WHAT DO YOU GAIN FROM THAT!?? HELLO???? also oh my god as a person who hates everything about being in pictures (i have to be tricked to get my picture taken ugh) THAT WAS HORRIBLE TO READ. im reading on the wiki by the way because i want the context. also oh my god (im sorry im saying that a lot.) as a person who was absolutely repulsed by touch for awhile (and still kind of squeamish about it but dont have the courage to shove ppl off half the time) i think id die inside. like. okay so they're like touching his ears and his tail (i only remember the ear but i was so pissed off i dont know if i imagined the tail bit or not) and kinda his everything right? WHY? thats. like. such an invasion of privacy. like. HELLO??? WHAT ARE YOU DOING. pleASE stop???? also oh my god WHYH ARE YOU MAKING A MESS OF IT WHAT tHE HECK (they should have like those ropes that signify 'you're not allowed past this part' to make it clear HEY youre not allowed to touch that. but also some people will ignore it and they could get overrun FAST. ughhh)

octavinelle

i wish i could say that people have the courtesy to be careful not to do anything to harm others but i cant really no words. just. oh my god. be CAREFUL WITH WHAT YOU'RE DOING . there are important sUBSTANCES HERE THAT ARE VERY FRAGILE. (they should've been made to pay for it ughhh. teach them.)

scarabia. honestly ive read a fic that went over this before. and honestly its very funny. so like yuu's just going to sam's shop where they are the teachers are nearby (stunned) and jamils just like 'I'LL BURN IT ALL TO THE GROUND' and its HILARIOUS. also bugs. shudder. i dont even know how youd get people to stop wasting the food tho. man. bruh.

(also where are there self preservation skills oh my god)

ignihyde. oh my god THEYVE DONE THE WORST CRIME OF THEM ALL. THE DESTRUCTION OF BOOKS. okay im being overdramatic but WHAT THE FUCK if anyone did that to my books id honestly be so done.

well anything else could be salvaged sort of (with the exception of the destruction of the plants, the destruction of one of the things in the lab, and this) but. this. destruction of property???????? FOR ALL YOU KNOW THAT COULD'VE BEEN SOME SUPER RARE VERY LIMITED BOOK WITH ONLY. LIKE. 10 COPIES MADE. OR LIKE. ITS ENTIRELY HANDWRITTEN BY SOME FAMOUS PERSON WHO DIED A LONG TIME AGO AND THIS IS ALL WE HAVE LEFT AND YOU DESTROY IT!

AGHHH. im so aggravated. (as a person who ADORES books. im so irritated. i mean dont get me wrong they arent that important to me. but the library is my favorite part in a school! i love reading! its practically sacred!) "Jail. Jail for one thousand years! Some of us LIKE being alone, y'know? Please, for the love of everything, just let us live our gremlin lives!" YES. (honestly. out of all the dorms. if not savanaclaw, then id probably be in ignihyde. like yes hide me away forever so i can play games and not have to interact with people)

"Y'know, for Malleus Draconia! The guy so zetta powerful that everybody trembles at his name! Getting a picture of yourself touching him is a legendary feat."

SCREAMS INTO PILLOW

WHY THE FUCK ARE PEOPLE BRNEAKING AND ENTERING WHY OD YOU IGNORE A SIGN

im so rrry im yttypingoifnhgfh there comes a point where im so frustrated i cant typer ight. heavy sigh

WHY WOULD YOU IGNORE A SIGN. THAT CLEARLY GIVES YOU A WARNING?! YOURE LITERALLY BREAKING AND ENTERING. THERE IS A REASON THAT SIGN IS THERE. WHY WOULD YOU JUST SHRUG IT OFF BASED ON APPEARANCES???! HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF DONT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER? I SWEAR. AGHH thats. such. a major. violation. i cant… AGHH

i wonder if a sort of barrier spell to prevent people from moving past (aka into the dorm) would be possible. but that might be a huge drain and whose to say they couldnt idfk take pictures through the windows? ew stalkery behavior, and not any better.

AND NOTHING CAN BE DONE BECAUSE YOU KNOW WAHT THE HEADLINES ARE GONNA SAY?

'NRC student attacks tourist!'. IT WONT EVEN MENTION ANY WRONGDOINGD THE TOURIST HAD DONE AND ITLL SPREAD FROM THERE AND AGHHHHHHH

THE STATUES? WHAT THE FUCK!? that. i. AGH (people are so dumb. why. would you. post a picture OF YOU COMMITTING A CRIME!?)

!!!! POP OFF (edit: this is like heartslabyul going against the magicam monsters. id probably adore octavinelle's if i hadn't already been spoiled about it lol)

----------------------

kind of off topic. but yknow what? i kind of feel like im really living up to my riddle pfp lmFAO

(i wrote it all down on discord. i probably could've just started it on a tumblr post instead but it didnt even occur to me)

[loveroftoomanyfandoms]

Angel of God, My Guardian Dear Chapter 10: Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+, MINORS DNI)

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Story Summary: While speaking at a local school for visually impaired youth, Matt runs into his childhood best friend, with whom he lost touch almost 20 years prior.

Warnings/Tags: None

Word Count: ~2,800

A/N: None.

"What a wonderful Mass," Y/N whispered to Matt as the congregation stood for the final blessing at church the next morning. "I'd forgotten just how much I've always enjoyed Father DeMaria's homilies. He always manages to tie the readings together so seamlessly."

"He's been here a while, hasn't he?" Matt asked.

"Thanks be to God -- Yeah," Y/N replied. "At least 20 years for sure, since he was already the priest here when I first moved to Miami."

"And I'm pretty sure he'd already been here for at least a few years before that," Aunt Ruth added as the recessional song began. "I'm trying to remember exactly when he took over from Father LaBauve. He's definitely the longest-serving priest in our parish, if not the whole diocese. It'll be sad to see him retire at the end of the year."

Y/N nodded. "Let me know if there's going to be some sort of retirement celebration for him. I definitely want to be there if there is one."

"Okay, I will."

Matt took Y/N's hand as Father DeMaria passed by.  "I'll try to come too, if I can."

Y/N smiled. "Yeah, that'd be great." 

They headed towards the exit, stopping briefly to greet Father DeMaria before heading to Aunt Ruth's car.

"Oh, Aunt Ruth, do you think we have time to stop by the store on the way home?" Y/N asked as they all buckled their seatbelts. "Matt and I decided to head to the beach while you're hosting pokeno this afternoon and I wanted to pick up some stuff for a picnic."

"Oh, yeah, of course," Aunt Ruth replied. "I forgot to get tortilla chips yesterday for the spinach and artichoke dip, so I needed to stop anyway."

"Oh, okay. I can grab some for you while we're there. Just 1 bag?"

"Yeah, just 1 should be enough."

"Anything else?"

"No, I'm pretty sure I've got everything else I need." Aunt Ruth turned out of the parking lot and onto the highway. "But remind me to get that little rolling cooler I got as a white elephant gift last year out of the storage closet for you when we get home. It'll be much easier for you to wheel that across the sand rather than have to haul our old picnic basket around. Oh, and you can use my car if you want, too."

"Oh that'd be great, thanks so much."

Matt nodded in agreement. "Yes, that's extremely generous of you. Thank you."

"It's no problem, really. No sense in making the two of you Uber to the beach when I'll be home all afternoon and won't be using my car anyway."

Y/N grinned and took Matt's hand. "Hopefully my driving doesn't terrify Matt."

Matt chuckled. "Hey, if I can handle riding with New York cab drivers, I can handle riding with anyone."

He gave her hand a gentle kiss. "Besides, I trust you with my life, which includes you being behind the wheel."

Y/N's heart fluttered. "That's good to know."

Aunt Ruth pulled into the parking lot and parked. "Get the scoop chips for me if they have them. If not, I'll take the regular ones."

Y/N unbuckled her seatbelt. "Okay. We'll try not to be too long."

Aunt Ruth nodded. "Okay."

Y/N got out of the car and waited for Matt to take her arm before heading inside the store.

She grabbed a shopping basket. "Okay, I was thinking we could get stuff for sandwiches, and maybe some different fruits and veggies, oh and maybe some cheese too."

Matt nodded. "Yeah, all that sounds great."

"Okay, good." Y/N led him over to the produce section and picked up a container of strawberries. "Ooh, how about some strawberries?"

"Sure." Matt gently took the carton from her before putting it back. "But not these. They're underripe."

Y/N huffed out a light laugh. "How about I leave the fruit selection to you then, sweetheart?"

Matt chuckled as he picked up another container of strawberries and set it in the basket. "Okay."

Y/N grabbed a couple of containers of different pre-cut vegetables while Matt chose a couple of apples and oranges and a bag of grapes before setting them in the basket with the strawberries.

They finished up in the produce section and moved on to the meats and cheeses, selecting a couple of different blocks of cheese to add to their purchases. 

Y/N was looking at the variety of sliced sandwich meats when she heard a familiar voice. "Y/N ?"

She turned around and smiled as she saw Mrs. Ortega, her former high school guidance counselor. "Oh my gosh, Mrs. Ortega, hi! How are you?"

"Doing good, how about you?" Mrs. Ortega replied.

"I'm good." Y/N took Matt's hand. "Matt, sweetheart, this is Mrs. Ortega, my guidance counselor from high school. She's the one who encouraged me to go into special services librarianship. Mrs. Ortega, this is Matt, the friend that I had told you I would read to when I was growing up in New York."

A broad smile spread across Mrs. Ortega's face. "Well, it's certainly nice to meet you, Matt."

Matt nodded, a smile on his own face. "It's very nice to meet you, too, ma'am."

"Are you still at St. Catherine's?" Y/N asked.

Mrs. Ortega nodded. "Yep, have a few more years left before I can retire. Are you here visiting? I think I remember your aunt saying you got a job at a library out of state the last time I ran into her."

Y/N nodded. "Yeah, I'm actually back in New York now. Matt and I just flew in for the weekend to celebrate Aunt Ruth's birthday."

"Aww, well that's wonderful."

"Actually, she's waiting on us, so we better wrap up our shopping and get going, but it was so nice to see you."

"Nice to see you too, Y/N. I'm glad to see you're doing well."

"Thank you."

"And Matt, it really was very nice to meet you."

"Same to you," Matt replied.

He picked up a container of sliced turkey and put it in the basket as Mrs. Ortega walked away. "She was nice."

Y/N nodded as they continued their shopping. "Yeah, she really is. I spent a good bit of time in her office, especially when I first moved here since the school made me do counseling sessions twice a week during study hall to 'make sure I was adjusting'."

She shook her head. "At first I refused to talk to her, but she eventually did get me to open up."

"How?"

Y/N smiled. "She asked me about you -- or rather, she asked me if I had had anyone special in my life in New York."

She huffed out a laugh. "I think she probably already knew the answer to that from talking to Aunt Ruth, but it worked. I wound up telling her all about you, how you were my best friend in the entire world and how kind and smart and amazing you were, and how much having to leave you broke my heart."

Matt grinned. "Kind and smart and amazing? I think you oversold me just a bit there, angel."

Y/N gently tapped him on the arm. "I most certainly did not and you know it, Matthew."

Matt pressed a kiss to the side of her head as they stopped to grab a loaf of bread. "Love you."

Y/N smiled. "Love you too. So anyway, I started to feel more comfortable with her after that, so I did eventually wind up telling her how I was feeling about getting uprooted from the only life I'd ever really known to go live with an aunt I had literally just met. Mrs. Ortega helped me realize that Aunt Ruth was hurting too, that I was the only part of my mom that she'd had left so I couldn't honestly be angry or upset with her for taking me in."

Matt nodded. "That makes sense."

Y/N huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, but that was when I thought I'd still have you in my life. Needless to say, I was really pissed when I found out that you weren't even getting my letters."

The ensuing argument with Aunt Ruth had left both of them hurt and in tears.

"What?" Y/N had said incredulously after Aunt Ruth had also come clean about agreeing to keep her and Matt apart. "Why would you agree to that?"

"Because Sister Bernadette told me that he was a bad influence on you," Aunt Ruth had replied.  

"And you believed her!?"

"I had no reason not to, Y/N, I -- she said he was always causing trouble and getting himself -- and more importantly, you -- into fights, and that Lord only knew what other kind of trouble he would've gotten you into, not to mention…"

She had paused. " Well, you know."

Y/N had shaken her head. "No, I don't know. First of all, Sister Bernadette is a hypocritical old hag who absolutely hates Matt. I've never known or understood why , but she's had it out for him since the day he came to St. Agnes. Secondly, neither Matt nor I ever started any fights. Matt was always defending himself from bullies who thought he was an easy target just because he's blind, and I wasn't about to stand by and let my best friend be bullied, either."

She had slumped down on the sofa and begun to cry, her heart breaking all over again. "He probably thinks that I abandoned him just like his mom did, and now it's too late to try to fix it."

Aunt Ruth had sat next to her. " I'm sorry, Y/N. I thought I was doing what was best for you."

Y/N had seen red. "By keeping me away from my best friend? By keeping me away from the one person who has ever truly understood me, the one person who made my life at St. Agnes just that -- a life rather than just an existence?" 

She had shaken her head with a scoff. "You know, I always thought it was weird how Sister Bernadette just randomly called me into her office one day and told me that surprise, my mom had a sister and I was going to go live with her in Florida. Did you even actually look for me or did Sister Bernadette track you down and pay you to take me in?"

Aunt Ruth had reeled back like she had been slapped. "Is that honestly what you think?"

Y/N hadn't really thought that but she was angry and hurt, so she had just shrugged.

Tears had filled Aunt Ruth's eyes. "I promise you, Y/N, I'd have taken you in as soon as the police told me that your mother had died if I had known then that she'd had a child. It wasn't until I needed to request her death certificate for some legal paperwork regarding your grandparents' estate last year that I discovered your birth certificate, and as soon as I did I started searching for you. I felt so guilty about you having to grow up in that orphanage for 14 years that I just agreed to whatever Sister Bernadette said, thinking that she would've known what was best for you at the time. I never even considered that she might've been wrong or even lying about your relationship with Matthew." 

She had sighed. "He wasn't your boyfriend, was he?"

Y/N had shaken her head. "No, Matt and I are -- were -- always just friends."

Aunt Ruth had nodded in understanding. "But you wanted him to be?"

"Yeah." Y/N had sniffled and looked down at the floor. "Yeah, I did, but he never showed any interest in me, not like -- not like that."

Aunt Ruth had taken her hand and given it a gentle squeeze. "I truly am sorry, sweetheart. I know this probably doesn't help, but if I could go back and change things, I would. And you never know, maybe you'll find him again one day."

At the time Y/N had thought that ever finding Matt again would be impossible, but here she was with his arm linked through hers as they shopped for groceries together.

She sucked in a slight gasp. "Oh my God, I just realized something… Sister Bernadette knew that Sister Maggie was your mom, didn't she? That's why she always had it out for you!"

A look of realization dawned on Matt's face. "You know, you're probably right. That makes so much sense now."

Y/N shook her head. "I always thought it was because of your visual impairment -- which would've been really hypocritical of her considering her oath to the Church about caring for others and all -- so I'm glad that wasn't actually the case. Still doesn't excuse the way she treated you though."

"No, but like I said, people like her just made me more determined to succeed." Matt shrugged, a wry smile on his face. "Besides, there's only one opinion of me that's ever truly mattered."

Y/N grinned. "God's?"

Matt huffed out a laugh. "Okay, two opinions."

They stopped to get a bottle of wine.

"Do we need anything else?" Matt asked.

"Just the bag of tortilla chips for Aunt Ruth, which are… here." Y/N set them in the basket. "Okay, I think that's it."

"And we only took 10 minutes," Matt remarked, "even with stopping to talk to your old guidance counselor."

Y/N huffed out a laugh. "If I'd have been in here by myself I'd probably still be picking out fruit. I'm glad you were with me."

Matt rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. "Um, actually, speaking of that, I was wondering if you would mind me tagging along when you do your weekly grocery shopping? Right now I do a grocery delivery service but the produce is never the freshest and it'd be nice to be able to choose my own while having someone there with me that can help me familiarize myself with the layout of the market."

Y/N nodded. "Of course, sweetheart."

She could picture them heading to the market together one Sunday after Mass, Y/N jokingly grabbing jarred pasta sauce for a planned spaghetti dinner in order to get a rise out of Matt before he caught on and redirected her towards the fresh ingredients for a homemade version.

They'd playfully argue over having garlic bread they'd bought from the bakery down the street and mixed the garlic butter for themselves vs pre-buttered garlic bread bought from the store (Y/N was sure Matt would be team homemade garlic butter) then grab a bottle of wine to go with dinner before making their purchases and heading back to their shared apartment, putting their groceries away before settling in together for a lazy Sunday afternoon at home.

A bright smile spread across Matt's face. "Yeah?"

"Absolutely. I love spending time with you, Matty, you know that. I would happily do all of my grocery shopping with you for the rest of my life."

Matt nodded, looking contemplative. "Okay. Good to know."

"Would Tuesday work for you? I took the day off to rest after our trip and was planning on doing my shopping then since I wasn't home to do it today, so I can come over wherever you get off of work and we can go then."

"Yeah, yeah that'd be great." Matt licked his lips. "But actually, I was thinking… how about you just stay at my place tomorrow night and use my washer and dryer to do your laundry so you'll have something clean to wear without having to stop by your apartment, then we can head to the market whenever we decide to get up? Just spend the day alone together before we have to go back to work on Wednesday?"

Y/N nodded, her heart fluttering. "Yeah, that sounds great." 

"Okay, great. I'll let Foggy know that I won't be in on Tuesday."

They headed towards the checkout. 

"Here," Y/N said. "We'll do self-checkout so we can be done faster. Would you hold the basket while I unload and scan?"

Matt nodded. "Sure thing, angel."

Y/N ran the barcoded items through the scanner then typed in the codes for the individual fruits and veggies before making sure she had gotten everything and pressing the checkout button. "Okay, there's that…"

She swiped her credit card then signed the electronic receipt. "...And that. All done."

She took Matt's free hand in hers and gave it a squeeze as they grabbed their grocery bags and headed towards the exit. "Alright, let's get back to Aunt Ruth's and get this stuff all cut up so we can get to the beach before it gets too crowded."

[beck-nightengale]

Summer Reading/Writing/Arting Tag

Yo, I was tagged by @chennnington over here to do this thing and it does look like fun, so why not!

But I'm also going to be boring since idk who to tag, so anyone is free to fill this thing out if it hits your dashboard. ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ Go knock yourselves out.

1) Describe one creative WIP project you’re planning to work on over the summer.

Thanks to Enderal kicking my creative nuts into gear and being recently liberated from certain "game-master" obligations (long, long ass story that'd probably go over most Tumblr folks' heads, anyway), I finally started diving back into a sapphic-flavored dark fantasy book series that I'd been planning since like around 2016 or so. It was mostly born out of some frustrations with the lack of WLW in general, and while I have some WLW elements in my existing works, I wanted to write something that was more overtly WLW with a leading lady who was outgoing about her sexuality than my previous protagonists (who are either repressed as fuck or too dead to hold a relationship that would function) and wouldn't take her four dang novels to finally kiss a girl.

Anyway, Morane Soraya was created from a whole mess of complicated feelings about women in media. I describe her as a combination of Julie D'aubigny and Anne Lister, with a bit of Christina of Sweden (all of who were badass women in history. Look 'em up!). I wrote a lot about the basics of who she is/what she's all about here.

Morane is a good bean:

Book 1, Bloodtithes, will go into her venturing into a scarcely-visited icy continent to investigate a possible cure or effective treatment to the painful condition she had been forced to live with, which gives her the proficiency she has in Blood Magick (which isn't inherently evil in her world, but very often misunderstood because of its side effects). She's from a mercenary group who all share the same condition and propensity for Blood Magick, so they're interested in this so-called "cure" as well, but not many make it to this country and survive, so Morane is sent alone instead. Along the way, she meets a horned jackal-man named Darius ka Dir, and gets entangled in a plot with a strigoika named Viorica Avanas who has a whole buttload of inner demons of her own (side note: I once played Vio in Skyrim to mess around with Kaidan and they got into some... Situations).

A friend drew Darius and he has a single giant and glorious curl that he is very serious about.

I've also talked a lot about Jade for my Enderal stuff, who was already based on an existing character, and I've figured out how to work her into Morane's world. She won't factor in until Book 2, Cloverleaf, because she's essentially gonna tear down a wall and break freaking everything.

You know. Like she do.

It's still in the planning stages but I'm feeling pretty good about it.

2) Rec a book!

I just started reading Dreams of the Dying by Nicolas Lietzau, which I'm enjoying a lot, but haven't read enough yet to form a coherent recommendation on it. I just got the audiobook though so I'm looking forward to that!

Otherwise, House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski is one of my favorite novels of all time and was a major writing inspiration for me. It's creative in how it gets you to feel uneasy while you're reading the book itself, a huge mindfuck, and one of the few novels that actually made me feel a sense of dread while I was reading it.

If you'd like some seriously bonkers reading material, I'd suggest giving it a looksee.

3) Rec a fic! (outside your character tag)

Iiii don't actually read fanfiction that much, so I'm not sure if I can rec one!

On the flipside, feel free to rec me some Enderal fics (or your own, if you have any). I'll read the shit out of it.

4) Rec music!

I can't recommend Murder by Death to people enough. They're my all-time favorite band, one of the few I've ever made an effort to go see live when they were playing in my city (just before lockdown hit, no less), and deserve more love. I've been listening to them since I discovered them high school and their albums just keep getting better and better.

Also it's not hard for me to find some character-centric songs from them because the topics they write about is very versatile. I tend to think of Lost River for Jade's story, and Ditch Lilly and Rumbrave for Rey's.

5) Share one piece of advice!

Writing women! Because I guess this one needs telling as there are people who still find writing female characters daunting or somehow more difficult than it is to write men. Which, fair, I was the same way. Despite having mostly female protagonists in the novels I'd written, the dudes in my earlier stuff somehow ended up taking the spotlight and stealing most of the development. I really struggled to work through some of my own internalized misogyny and "there are no good female characters in media" mindset, and it took a lot of opening my mind up before it got easier. Now I predominately focus on writing women to be that change I want to see - this includes not killing certain ones off to enhance manpain like I used to, which I learned was called "fridging", lol.

My advice for writing them is to just write them as characters. It sounds simple and stupid, but I'm surprised how much people get wrapped up in the "she must be a strong girlboss" brainrot that they end up with a very flat, boring character that literally no one can relate to, so she still gets outshined by the dudes because the writer tried to overcompensate her badass womanliness without giving her actually compelling character traits.

I feel like one of the main reasons why I absolutely adored Ellen Ripley when I was a kid was because she was written to be a man in the first Alien movie, but they changed the character into a woman without changing the script and it just worked. I didn't know that when I was young, but finding that out just made me appreciate Ripley so much more, because the writers didn't treat her like a "strong female character" but as just a character. I think if writers approached this mindset more, we wouldn't have the "no good female characters in media issue" that doesn't need to be an issue in the first place.

These days I approach character-building by not restricting certain traits by gender, and finding a balance between strengths and weaknesses. Just shut off your critical analysis brain to create a "strong female character" and just write "strong character" instead.

I could word vomit more about my own ladies and how much I love them now than I used to but I feel like this has gone on long enough. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[drawnecromancy]

Author ask game

Tagged by @isabellebissonrouthier ! thanks :)

Tagging : @the-stray-storyteller, open tag bc idk who else would like to be tagged ^^

I'll be talking about Le Prix du Sang here.

1) What is the main lesson of your story (e.g. kindness, diversity, anti-war), and why did you choose it?

There isn't any that I'm currently planning on having. Whether I'll find one on the way or not is still up for debate. I'm not giving lessons, I'm just throwing awful people in the same general area and looking at what they do.

2) What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding (like real-life cultures, animals, famous media, websites, etc.)?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh [blanking]

There's definitely the. General european fantasy setting you'd expect from a european writer, i guess.

Although this place's worldbuilding is, specifically, based on a no-fun-allowed discussion I've had with my sister AGES ago when I was a teenager. What if it had magic, but was an awful fucking place ?

Idk. I tend to pick inspiration from a lot of places and it's hard for me to pinpoint one thing exactly. I can tell you when rereading that "ah, i probably picked that bit up from Ewilan" or "oh, this is absolutely because I hated X thing in les Chevaliers d'Emeraude", or even "oh okay this whole dye business is absolutely because of some of the classes i had".

Definitely, the fact that Monthaut is known for its high quality wool fabric is because of my classes.

3) What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness, help readers grow as a person?

She's trying to achieve having a stable life for once, and once she gets at she's trying to keep it no matter what it takes.

I'm trying to see how interesting I can make that while sometimes the secondary characters are doing most of the stuff.

I want readers to come watch those fucked up little guys with me. Again. I'm not going to teach you SHIT. Come look at my weirdoes. They're kind of awful. Wanna see how far they can take their bullshit ?

4) How many chapters is your story going to have?

I have no idea ! Several, definitely ! I've written, uh, 8 of them so far. We're not past the halfway point. So at least double that ?

5) Is it fanfiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Original content. I don't plan on posting it, but on hopefully going the traditional publishing route.

6) When and why did you start writing?

Good question ! A long time ago is the best i can do.

I do think I used to write random snippets when i was a very young kid, just for fun, to entertain myself. Then it was writing stories with my younger sister, just for the both of us.

We'd always find ways to put links to each other's stuff in our writings. Were our main characters actually related ? Did they just know each other for whatever reason ? Etc.

7) Do you have any words of engagement for fellow writers of Writeblr? What other writers of Tumblr do you follow?

Uhh... I consider myself to be a little bit to the left from writeblr because this is just my personal blog, man. I just happen to be a writer and an artist.

A lot of my friends tend to be these things too, altho I'm not super sure they'd consider themselves part of writeblr (hi Mal my beloved, Jo, Zach!, Alren); so I'm not tagging them here. Again, don't know if that'd bother them.

For people who have writeblrs that I follow, well, there's Isabelle and Stray I've already tagged, and @holdmyteaplease (also, if you do want to do this tag game, feel free!i just don't know if you do tag games LMFAO); and I think that's about it.

[hedjblogr]

so i gotta make a full ass post about my last reblog because i would be doing the situation a disservice if i posted it only in the tags.

puts my grubby little pizza hands together and takes a deep breath

so.

around 2019-2020, so pre-pandemic, i was working for a small startup business. this was through a scheme that my local council was paying for, to get people into employment and to help local small businesses. great stuff on paper! fantastic stuff even!

this business was uh. well. the guy running it was maybe not the best personality match for me when it comes to a boss, but that's something better demonstrated than plainly stated. i don't wanna say he was a bad guy because that'd be unfair, but i was not the only person who struggled with dealing with him. i won't go too much into his personality either because this isn't about making a smear piece, this is about processing my struggles with illness in the workplace.

so, yeah. i'm a chronic migraine sufferer. it varies from headache and dizziness severity to "i'm having spots in my vision, i feel like throwing up and i literally can't do anything but sit with my head in my hands and my eyes closed tight and make pathetic noises". i'm still not entirely sure what my triggers are for it, but right now i'm thinking it's linked to drastic weather changes, hydration, stress and poor sleep.

i also have moderate to severe depression and anxiety. this ebbs and flows, it always impacts me at a certain baseline but a lot of the time it's background noise. my anxiety tends to flare up more than my depression, admittedly, but hoo boy do they both hit me bad when they hit me.

these were going unmedicated at the time for various reasons.

so, by the very nature of a startup business with less than 10 employees, a lot of us had to do a lot of different kinds of work. that's fine, i'm multiskilled, i don't mind doing a variety of things. but i was definitely more of dog's body than whatever the hell i originally signed up to be, which was more of an administerial/clerical position. aight, fine, i've worked in retail, i can do sales. i'm a computer nerd, i can do social media marketing and graphics. you want me to train people? uhhh sure i guess. and learn UX? fine okay. wait you want me to learn to code as well??? i'm not getting paid enough for this.

so it was a very stressful job. very anxiety-inducing job too. i was told both that i had a lot of responsibility and i was NEEDED, and that the company would simply keep going without me and it didn't matter if i quit or was let go.

oh! fun fact by the way. remember i mentioned my local council was paying for me to be on this scheme? they were paying him. he was getting my work for free, technically. granted, i was getting paid a wage, but he was not the one paying it. yeah. it's great on paper until you consider the way things went in practice.

on one instance i recall that i had my entire evening monopolised, because unbeknownst to me i had apparently agreed to run a live training with someone who was using our product and using it during the evening hours. and i was apparently required to field phone calls from them all evening. i didn't sign up for this, i didn't get paid for these extra hours.

on another instance, i recall we got locked in the building we worked in because we stayed too long (as it was not a privately owned building, we were renting space in a public college), and i was literally in tears with panic about getting out. graciously i was given the next day off work to decompress, but i should never have been put in that situation to begin with. this was due to a bad call on my boss' part.

i'm getting a little distracted here, my apologies, but this thing happens when i start digging up old grievances and trauma that i remember tangential things and it just kind of goes from there.

but yeah. i actually discovered through this job that i suffered anxiety attacks and what they felt like, and that my anxiety was a liability, and i began to suspect through this job as well that my frequent headaches that often led to me feeling like throwing up were not in fact just regular ass headaches.

i didn't feel like i could get sick notes in this situation. i felt like my employer would turn them down or simply fire me.

oh, but you know the time i HAVE used sick notes?

universal credit. good ol' department for work and pensions. rule britannia and all that.

fuck off with that shit actually, they refused my last sick note even though it was ongoing because it listed my depression and anxiety, and they decided that i was actually entirely fine even though they told me i could work on reduced hours to still be eligible for benefits because of my health conditions, and the job search has - to no one's surprise - been making my health conditions WORSE.

(edit: i should clarify, they DID accept sick notes for a time, but eventually i needed to undergo a work capability assessment, and this is when they decided that i still had capacity for work - which i do agree with, there are things i can do! - and then proceeded to ignore the part about it being for reduced hours.)

guess who's been crying themselves to sleep more nights than not, and struggling to sleep, and having erratic schedule, due to scraping to even get an interview only to be NOT EVEN TOLD that i didn't get the job! and that's if i even get a reply back from the first application!

yeah. there's a lot of shit wrong with healthcare and a lot of shit wrong with employment right now. and as it turns out there's a lot of shit wrong with me.

i'm probably gonna delete this post after a while because i always feel bad dumping shit like this on main, especially when it feels like it's old news and i just haven't processed it because i know i'll never get closure. but sometimes i just have to let myself write, and maybe if i post it someone else will come to a realisation and it'll help them. i dunno.

[curseofaphrodite]

hi^^ hope youre doing good these days:D so.. im not sure if youll think this is weird or not, but ive been going around asking some of my fav fic authors for a little advice/encouragement? and im also making a little stop here! i wanted to ask if you had any tips for starting to write/post fics? or really just.. a little push because ive been considering it for a while but man is it scary😭

NOT WEIRD AT ALL! I'm honored you consider me one of your fav writers like pls here's a beaver, take good care of it. 🦫

omg yes its scary at the start! tips depend on the kind of fics you're writing but here are some general helpful Tumblr tips on how to reach more audience (for beginners)

do it for self-indulgence! they're the ones that turn out to be masterpieces! imagine you had a daydream for a while which made you go *sigh* The chances are, it'll make others go *sigh* too. So write that down!

layout is imp! i know judging a book by its cover is a shitty move but it's tumblr and more people are drawn out to fics which seem well organized before the Keep Reading part. Make the title stand out, add a gif of the character you're writing for (don't repost gifs unless you have permission!! just search for gifs instead!!)

Speaking of layout, please do add the keep reading if your work is like 1k words long! and if it's 18+, add all necessary warnings too!

simple stuff like page breaks and punctuation go a long way. If you're worried about spelling etc, there's a bunch of websites online that'd help you for free! (lemme know if you want the links)

while writing fluff, try to not make it just about the fluff. add a lil bit of humor, and so on. if it's all just the characters cuddling, there's no plot involved.

AND ADD TAGS! LOTS OF THEM! every combination you can think of. they're the MVPs.

lemme know if you need more tips! if you decide to publish it and need someone to take a look at it to polish it up, I'm here :) Happy writing ily

[undergrounddweller89]

NOTE : THIS IS A SPIES IN DISGUISE AU, WALTER IS THE CRIMINAL MASTER MIND AND KILLIAN IS THE SCIENTIST

THIS DEFINITELY CONTAINS SEXY TIMES

Not well written though probably and I tend to rarely go through my work to look for mistakes.

Despite Killian being kidnapped and handcuffed EVERY THING IS CONSENSUAL... Tristan is crazy obsessed with Beckett so he's very happy.

Now you've had your warning you read this instead of scrolling past that's on you, lemon is a tag used for stuff like this but if you feel like there are other tags I need to use please do tell me!)

The bag was stuffy, head phones covered his ears, they'd knocked off his glasses in their struggle to capture him, he could barely see without them.

Now his hands were cuffed behind his back, a hand on each upper arm, honestly Tristan was terrified, the car ride seemed a life time, though realistically it was only ten to fifteen minutes long.

He'd pleaded saying he was a no body just a scientist the agency threw in the corner and that no one ever took him seriously.

He was hunched, trying to tuck his head into his shoulders, so this was how he was going to die.

He felt every bump of the car and turn, trying to map out where he was going but he didn't recognise this route, usually he rode every where on his bicycle, deep blue with a silver bell and a basket on the front to pick up dinner on his way home...

Home where he could research the Criminal Master mind Walter Beckett ...to a near unhealthy obsession...alright it was unhealthy when you imagined him pushing you back against the table parting your thighs, fucking you and making you look at him by holding your head with his clawed hand....

Fuck was he going to die thinking about Walter, a man who didn't even known he existed...well he had no one, nothing living to care about...he might as well think of someone who made him happy even if only in his fantasies before he died right.

He was pulled from the car where he tried kicking at his handlers, Tristan didn't get very far though as one of them punch his gut winding him, he was wheezing as he was taken out of the vehicle.

"You know he's gonna kill you for that right."

The first handler smacked the second on the back of the head

"Only if this limp dick tells him, he's too much of pussy to squeal."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that, but Im not covering your ass."

He was dragged through the facility, Tristan refused to make it easy to carry him and went limp.

Both handlers groaned, fuck, great a difficult one, well the first wasn't going to risk hurting him into compliance and the second knew he was on thin ice, if that punch had bruised him their boss was literally going to kill him.

Other workers watched as they went by, another two carried Tristans legs who now tried to struggle again, what the hell was going on!

He was sat in a chair with ease, after all their boss was right there, the workers didn't dare handle him as if he were anything less than a handle with care package with fragile taped all over him.

"Well are you going to take that off him, it's a little hard for dramatic entrances when he can't even see me."

"Yes sir, right away."

The bag was pulled off swiftly with the headphones clattering to the floor.

Tristan squinted, everyone looked like blurs, he could see faces only as different coloured splodges, his hair sticking up in different angles, shoulders aching now, he still sat up right, heart racing

"Where are his glasses?"

Tristan turned to where he heard the man speak, it was cold, commanded respect...familiar but no it couldn't be...

"Sebastian, where are his glasses?"

"I ah, James you see knocked them off in the struggle and-"

A metal arm, supporting four claw digits at it's end clasped his face

"What did I tell you about people with glasses, remove them, keep them what Sebastian."

He had brought the man to his knees holding so tightly Sebastian could feel his skull on the verge of cracking, he let out a cry as he managed to finish the sentence

"Safe!"

"Oh good you can listen to orders, now James..."

He'd let go of Sebastian and beckoned over his other crew member, Tristan knew this voice but it couldn't be him, he must still be disorientated.

"James, what have I told you about harming what belongs to me."

He said softly, curling his his claws around James's tie, Sebastian stepped back, well he had warned his coworker and with a snap and flick of his wrist the tie had been pulled so hard and tight the man's neck had been snapped.

"He had trouble following orders, first few times is understandable, you're settling into this new life but after five years it should not be that hard."

Tristan wished he'd had his glasses because if this was Walter Beckett he would have just witnessed one of Becketts trade mark moves and yes maybe would have gushed like a fan boy.

He was going to pretend it was him until he could see at the least and imagine he was kidnapped by Thee Walter Beckett.

He listened to him calling in clean up crew and for someone to bring up the glasses, his shape coming in closer and closer, it had to be him, the silver blurred limb was on his left, the hair colour.

"Awww poor baby..."

The younger man cooed.

Tristan tried very hard not to lean into his touch when his hair was stroke back and felt the Claws against his scalp

"Don't worry now, my useless men have been dealt with, come on now look up at me."

He didn't exactly give Tristan a choice as he place a claw under his chin

"See, now Mr Mcford I know I have my fans, the ones who do their fanart, their fictions whatever you will, I keep an eye on anyone who searches my name out of curiosity..."

He tapped his nose

"You Mcford like clock work will watch videos that have only the briefest flash of me, pour over articles, fictions..."

He smirked tracing one long metal claw along his jaw

"Reader x Walter Beckett, but you got tired of them, skinny little me always being pinned, submissive, no, no you wrote your own, named yourself Killian, nice name by the way, where I owned you, laid you back and made sure you knew who you belonged to."

Tristan was red, he was so fucking red and wanted the bag back on his head

"But Im not here to embarrass you, you're actually a good writer and it was the first one I ever enjoyed myself to."

Tristan wanted to implode, die right there, hearing Beckett had fucking masturbated to his little story, he let out a whine then hung his head, trying to hide how much that effected him.

The crew came up and pulled the body from the room and handed Walter the item he'd requested

"Face me now, unless you prefer being half blind."

Beckett held his face with his human hand, finger tip tracing a cheek bone, my they were sharp weren't they, what a pretty scientist.

Placing the glasses on, small lights flickered then settled.

"They read your eyes and the lenses adjust to the prescription you need."

Walter explained now casually sitting on Mcford's lap, an arm around the back of his neck.

"I'll cut to the chase, as I said we check everyone who even so much as types my name out of curiosity and when I found out you were working for the agency that has reaaaally caused a lot of problems in my life I researched you."

Tristan was staring, no way did Walter not feel the protruding problem down below, you would literally have to be either dead or have no feeling in your body to not notice that, he was still, he listened to him, was he having a wet dream, it had to be a dream right?

"Besides my uh Internet history...what...what did you find out."

"Oh you know, that you're an under appreciated scientist who came up with designs so dangerous they had to lock them away...and I may have slightly stolen them, now while I could personally and am the only qualified person here to build such delicious technology...."

He slipped his hand under Tristans lab coat, slowly rubbing his palm against his chest and smirking at the shakey breath and the way Tristan adjusted his hips, oh he could certainly feel that reaction

"I have an evil empire to run...I need you Tristan, I want you..."

He leaned in closer, lips nearly at his.

Mcford whined, fuck he was close Walter hadn't even done anything but the raised brow and smirk on Becketts face told him he could feel him twitch and gasped as the hand that'd been on his chest traveled down a finger tip teasing the head of his cock through his pants.

"How do you feel about working for me Tristan, build your machines and what ever else comes to mind, I need someone as competent as myself..."

Walter kneaded him slowly, to the point the slow pace was painful, his mouth was open and another ragged breath left him, this had to be a wet dream a really, vivid wet dream, please don't let his alarm go off...he pressed against his neck, forehead on his shoulder as Walter stroked the back of his neck with metal Claws, cool against his flesh.

Even if he was awake, of course his answer was yes....

"We could even build something together, I'm sure you'd just love to see me work..."

Beckett leered.

Walter was so warm, he was here, touching him, fucking touching him, dragging it out and making him nearly beg and he loved it.

"Yes..."

Tristan panted, lifting his hips trying to get more friction, he still had his handcuffs on he couldn't reach out and touch the man he wanted, his wrists struggling instinctively to part.

"Look at me and say it, Tristan."

That purr went through Mcford's entire being, lifting his head whimpering, biting his lip, he loved the tease, feeling so close to the edge and having Walter deny him...he begged to some god out there that Walter would finish it at least, it was so intense, he knew his clothes were stained with precum, Beckett seemed to enjoy reminding him he knew it was there by playfully tapping a finger over the tip of his cock where the damp patch was.

"Yes...I'll work for you....I have mmmphn wanted to since I ahh first saw you... Oh my god..."

Walter smiled, watching him, listening to him, oh how blue his eyes looked when his cheeks were this flushed, absolutely gorgeous.

"Oh Tristan there is no god, only me and my loving hands."

He returned, unbuckling Tristans belt and reaching in, blushing a little himself as he watched Tristans eyes nearly roll up, his head falling forward.

Tristan watched as Walter finished him off how desperately he wanted to hold onto him, press fingers into his back, he couldn't remember the last time he came this fucking hard or if he'd ever...he was speechless...breathless and fuck he'd made a mess of them both.

He was putty in Walters hands, feeling a claw lift his head again, moaning softly still, his body was tingling all over

"Welcome to the team Killian."

Beckett said sweetly before leaning in and kissing him.

[obsessivestar]

Steamy Love (A Tom Hiddleston X Reader) Part 18: ~Lots of Loki Love~

Summary: After returning home from a long day, Tom has a little surprise in store for you.

Warnings: Lots of fluff. Tom acting as Loki. Lotta tension

Read it on my Wattpad: Wattpad.com/HiddlesStar

Word count: 1'351

Tags: @theoneanna @midnightdragonzero @drakesfiance @kcd15 @ihthr @deviantsendbyreallife

When the day was over, you and Tom returned back to his house. At this point, it was kind of obvious that you had forgiven him for the misunderstanding with Amanda. You saw him deleting her number on the way back home, and you were remembering how he dropped his phone at the store before he kissed you.

God, he kissed you in front of all of those people! The fans, the paparazzi, the director. You're gonna be hearing about that kiss for a long while, you just knew it. Maybe if you guys ever do interviews, it'll be mentioned. That'd be cute.

As soon as you got home, Tom seemed to close the front door rather quickly so he could pull you into a deep kiss, kind of pinning you up against the nearest wall. You blushed, but kissed him back with your arms wrapping around his neck. He pulled back after a moment, connecting your foreheads with a warm smile.

"So you forgive me?.." He asked, getting a soft nod from you.

"I hope you forgive me, too.." You admitted with a small smile.

"Oh, you have nothing to be sorry for, my dear.." Tom replied. "I was..a bloody moron. I should've just told her off from the beginning.."

"I still snapped at you. I didn't really let you explain yourself.." You muttered somewhat.

"You had every right to be angry with me. Every right." He spoke. "But I promise you, it'll just be us now. You and me."

"You and me?.." You repeated, your cheeks pink a bit. "Still beneficially, yeah?"

Tom paused for a moment, giving you a warm smile.

"I would...prefer to give it a more...intimate label." Tom admitted. "I really wish for this to be the real thing."

That was a little surprising to hear, but it made your chest feel all warm.

"R-Really?" You asked, your eyes visibly sparkling.

"Truly.." Tom smiled at you. "The world already knows about us. It's perfect timing, really."

"I like the way you think.." You purred, getting a little grin from him before he'd lean in to connect your lips in a passionate, yet soft kiss. You loved the feeling of his lips on yours.

"I guess that makes you all mine, then?" You asked, holding on to the collar of his shirt somewhat.

"Mhmm...you get all of me.." Tom purred.

"...and speaking of all of me...I've got a surprise for you."

Tom got his shoes off, giving a 'one moment, wait here' kind of gesture before moving down the hall and to his room. You smiled as he left, eager to see what this 'surprise' was. You were trying to guess if you already knew what he's up to.

You put some of your stuff on the living room table. You know he said to stay where you were, but you figured moving to the living room wasn't so bad. You gently sat down on the couch with a soft sigh, a couple more minutes going by before you'd hear Tom slowly and quietly leave his room.

You turned your head to look at him, your cheeks immedietly going red.

The wig.

The Loki wig.

He put it on. He put it on flawlessly.

While he didn't have one of those big and complicated looking pieces of Asgardian armor on, he did have on a full black suit, similar to the one in Ragnarok.

Oh God.

He looked so good.

"Oh my God.." You let out a chuckle as you stood up. It was a somewhat nervous chuckle. He looked really good.

"I always look good, pet.." Tom spoke with a charming smile, making his voice just slightly lower to sound like Loki. Oh God, now he's getting in character.

"Oh my God, don't.." You chuckled again. "Don't you dare talk to me in character."

"This character is my own, darling.." He grinned at you, slowly approaching you from down the hall. Now that you've gotten to know Tom very well, it's been hard to separate him from his roles, but the way he's looking at you screams Loki. It even looked like there was more green in his eyes while in character.

"You're being ridiculous.." You crossed your arms with a big smile, getting him to finally break character with a little chuckle leaving him.

"Is it too much?" He asked, his soft tone returning. "I haven't even touched you."

"It's..." You paused and bit the corner of your lip, taking the time to really look him over. You adored this Midgard Loki look when you first saw it. He looks so damn good in that suit.

"It's...just new to me.." You admitted, letting your hands rest at your side. "But I think I can go with it.."

Tom gave a charming smile before clearing his throat a bit, stretching his shoulders slightly as he felt himself get back into character.

His softness was set aside for Loki, once more.

"Today has been a long day for you, I bet.." the tall male with raven locks spoke, stepping closer until he was about right in front of you. He held one of his hands out to you. "Come. I think you deserve a bit of a break, mm? I can massage your shoulders and your back, if you wish.."

"Oh? Were you a trained masseuse in Asgard?" You asked with a slight confident tone, getting a little snicker from the male.

"I've been trained in many things, pet.." He purred. "But there are just some things I am naturally Talented at.."

"And those are?..." You smirked, crossing your arms again in a slight defensive manner. He was very intimidating this way, but you liked the feeling it gave you.

"Stabbing...lying.." Loki smirked, leaning down somewhat to you, his nose getting quite close to touching yours.

"...satisfying the needs of others.."

"Is that so?" You grinned a bit, tilting your head as he inched closer and closer.

"Mhmm.." He hummed lowly as he gazed into your eyes before slowly closing the gap between you two, your lips connecting. You've kissed these lips before, but it somehow felt different this time. You weren't kissing Tom right now. You were kissing Loki.

God, that's still hard to think about. He's a damn good actor.

After a moment, he pulled back, one of his hands moving up to caress your cheek. His skin tone looked oddly pale, now that you were getting a close look. Had he put on makeup, or was he always this pale?

"Perhaps if you're willing...I could show you.." He whispered lowly, his eyes locked on you, never leaving yours.

"You think you can satisfy me?.." You asked in a soft tone, getting a charming smile from him.

"Oh, I know I can.." He purred quietly. "This whole bloody neighborhood will know I satisfy you just fine.."

His voice and his choice of words were nearly making you shiver on the spot. He could see your rising heat through your eyes, and you were even panting slightly.

The male's hand moved from your cheek, his thumb slowly and softly caressing your soft lips. He never broke eye contact and he never broke character. This was such an exciting feeling.

Keeping your eyes on him, you moved your head slightly forward to let his thumb slip into your mouth, seeing his eyes flare up as you sucked on his thumb. There was something oddly arousing about doing something like that. You weren't sure how to explain it, but man did you love his reaction.

You slowly let his thumb slip out of your thumb after a moment, seeing a mischievous grin brown on the male's lips.

"Oh, you're not walking to work tomorrow.." He growled before suddenly picking you up, hoisting you over his shoulder. You let out a soft laugh as he carried you out of the living room and down the hall, heading to his room.

This is gonna be a whole new experience.

You're not about to sleep with Tom.

You're about to sleep with Loki.

[johnandrasjaqobis]

hey! i know you're a big fan of x6, and i'm gearing up to possibly include him in a Thing i'm planning with a partner, but i also know that canon doesn't develop him enough. i'm planning on hitting up YT vids for reference, but what are your fav fic reccs for him? and/or your fave tumblr post metas and/or headcanons in general, that'd be great too /fingerguns and slides out of here

I do in fact love the scary Courser man, I love him a lot and always love to see him in more things. Canon definitely dropped the ball on him -- the hints we got were pretty great, but that was pretty much it.

so boy let’s see

(I’ll throw it under a cut because it got long)

There are very sadly few fics, as I’m sure you know, but the body electric is one of my favorites, and it has a ton of great stuff on Coursers in general. I mean pretty much everything by @nomette is fantastic, and maybe they will also have some suggestions to add on?

most of my tag for him (which is just ‘x6′) is art and some headcanons from nomette, if you ever need some inspiration that way

Here is one post I did about him and kind of Coursers in general that I ended up really liking.Here is another that someone else did with just general meta that is A+

As for just thoughts/headcanons in general (and given how little we know, almost everything is a headcanon with that guy).....there is evidence that he’s both afraid of heights and bugs. I love that. It’s only shown in like, little bits of dialogue, but I love the seemingly mundane fears that this otherwise unshakable guy has -- fears that he, of course, will try so hard to never let show, because Coursers aren’t afraid.

He’s got such a ridiculously dry sense of humor. Something, again, vaguely hinted at, but the exchange of, “Jesus, that’s a mouthful.” “Then talk fast, ma’am.” comes to mind. Most of the time it’s suppressed, but there are some comments that he just genuinely doesn’t register as something like a joke, which tends to make it even funnier.

The guy is ridiculously loyal. To the Institute, obviously, but to the Survivor by extension, and if it’s someone that treats him like something more than a weapon, there’s a potential for that loyalty to shift if theirs does.It’s still not going to be an easy feat. The Institute is literally everything he has, they made him, they decide to keep him alive, keeping the interests of the Institute safe is the entire reason for his existence. Like, tbh, I think it would be really hard to get him to side with anyone who decided to destroy the Institute without them being undercover and earning his trust for a very long time. The simplest way to manage it is to send him away before sabotaging everything, because he can’t go down with the ship if he isn’t on the ship.Then, of course, it’d be a matter of convincing him that he’s still someone without the Institute, that he hasn’t lost all purpose in life, but y’know, it’s complicated.

In a less game-supported train of thought, he does not like most dogs. They feel too uncontrolled, they drool too much, they just kind of go everywhere.On the flip side, he finds that he really appreciates cats.

Like any gen-three, he loves Fancy Lads. But he hates that they get powder all over his coat. They leave evidence.

He’s the only Courser who wears sunglasses constantly. He thinks his eyes being so blue takes away some of the intimidation factor, and sunglasses are the perfect way to hide any stray emotions that might slip through for a second.

It’s my own personal fic headcanon, but I think he was the Courser (and the only Courser) they sent to take out the Switchboard.They didn’t need more than the one with a small battalion of gen-twos.

Part of the reason he loves it when you agree not to tell the Institute about Acadia (which is just a whole huge thing on its own) is because he remembers Chase. Not very well, but he remembers the hushed whispers that went around the synths and, to some extent, the Coursers, when she escaped.He remembers a very small part of him hoping they never found her.

Related, X6 does believe in his job. He does understand the synth’s fear of reclamation, because he understands the fear of that chair all too well himself, but he also thinks that the surface is the actual worst thing that can happen to someone. Bringing the synths back might mean they get reset, but it also saves them from facing a fate worse than death in the Commonwealth.But it’s different with Coursers.When Coursers escape, a very small part of him -- a part he tries not to consciously acknowledge -- is rooting for them. Coursers can survive the surface, whatever it throws at them, and as hellish as it may be up there, they won’t fall victim to a simple raider gang or an angry radstag. Harkness was before his time, something that is only discussed now in the middle of the night patrols, in hushed tones, spoken like a myth (and for all they know, it might be). Chase was more recent. Neither were caught.They know neither were caught, because if they had been, they know it would have been made into a huge display, a blinding example of the Institute’s control.And X6 hopes, without every acknowledging that he hopes, they never will be.

i just

i have a lot of thoughts about this scary robot man

i can’t even just say he’s a good egg because he’s terrifying, he can and has wiped out entire settlements to get one synth back, but

i love him so much and i will always rant about him if you ever want to bounce ideas