#There's an amazing amount of platonic 'I love you's in this story it's really sweet

[kingofbodyrolls]

Namjoon fic recs 2024 🥳

In honor of Namjoon’s birthday, I want to share my ultimate favorite Namjoon stories that I’ve read this past year (2023-2024) 💜 Have I recommended these before? Yes. But I will not stop screaming about these stories because they are so fucking amazing!! I want to thank each and every writer on this list for creating such wonderful stories and art - you are truly amazing ✨ All the fics on this list hold a dear place in my heart 🥹🥳

❗Most of these fics are smutty as hell or contains dark themes, so minors dni.❗ 

If you read anything on this list and you like it, please leave a comment to the writer or reblog the fic, it might seem like a tiny gesture, but it really means a lot for writers and I can guarantee it will put a smile on their faces💜 Let’s share and give lots of love!

Looking for more to read? Check ‘The Library’, last years Namjoon recs or  last years recs 🙂

[index] → jan | feb (jhs) | mar (myg) | apr | may | jun | jul | aug | sep (jjk)(💜) | oct (pjm) | nov | dec (kth)(ksj) |

Emoji meaning → angst = 🌩️, smut = 🥵, fluff = 🥰, comedy = 😂, yandere = 😈, thriller/dark = 👻, fantasy = 🪄. 

⭐Friend or Fuck: pt1 & pt2 @joonsmagicshop [18K] // knj x f.reader // f2l // 🥵🥰

📝 a drunken night leads to a good morning.

🗨️ I really liked this 🥺 Namjoon was just so sweet, caring and gentle with OC. Really loved it 👏🏾💜

⭐Emotions of the Soul @oddinary4bts [36.6K] // knj x f.reader // idol!au, childhood/teenage lovers to s2l2l // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 when Namjoon reappears in your life after thirteen years of absence, you find yourself unsure of what he means to you, and of what you mean to him. Anxiety reigns over you, but will it be enough to drag you away from Kim Namjoon?

🗨️ this is another masterpiece from Ella! She is incredible at writing idol!au’s that just feels so goddamn natural and real 👏 The way Namjoon is written is just perfection and OC with her struggles, and they are goddamn human, yes – and that’s one of the beautiful parts in it!!! 😭

⭐A Word from our Sponsors @ugh-yoongi [17.5K] // knj x f.reader // podcast!au, f2l, idiots to lovers  // 😂🥵🥰

📝 you’ve co-hosted a podcast with namjoon for three years; have known him even longer. the two of you have always been the picture of platonic, but that hasn’t stopped the internet from doing what the internet does. the shipping? a little weird at first, but you can understand it: two attractive twenty-somethings always in close proximity to one another, obvious (platonic!) chemistry—people have created ships for less. the fanfiction, though? also pretty funny… until you can’t stop thinking about it. 

🗨️ okay. This. Was. Exceptional ✨🥹 It was amazing, seriously one of the best fics I’ve ever read 😭 everything just had that perfect flow, the writing was incredible, like I can’t even speak? The characters, out of this world fantastic ✨ the whole thing, just, perfect. Perfection. I don’t know what else to call it, sorry. The world building and tension was so fucking delicious I just ate it up! 😭 And their banter and chemistry was just off the charts amazing. Perfection. And it was so fucking hilarious too!! Many times I was just laughing or chuckling, like the lovesick fool I am 😂 

⭐Bookworms @hoseoksluna [4.4K] // knj x f.reader // boyfriend!namjoon // 🥰🥵

📝 Namjoon thinks of you when he reads a smut scene in his book.

🗨️ the love that they have for each other– so beautiful too! The smut? Perfect! The aftercare too— they did each other’s hair???? 🥹 I mean, just the perfect amount of smut, fluff and overall cuteness ❤️

⭐New Guy @kithtaehyung [5k]  // knj x f.reader // university!au, e2l // 🥵

📝 all you want to do is have a successful meeting after experiencing dwindling attendance. but the new guy is completely disrupting things… or is he?

🗨️ so many feels about this one; all good and dirty ones!!! I had a feeling about the twist but I wasn’t sure. Anyway, it was extremely good, and it was so fucking HOT, like the tension, incredible! It really had me 🥵 So, so fucking good— love it 💖

⭐Holiday Shambles @ressjeon [5k]  // knj x f.reader // christmas!au, married!au // 🥰🥵🌩️

📝 when you have to spend time with both your parents and Namjoon’s snobby ones for this Christmas, you’re forced to show the best version of you even knowing what’s to come. you’re ready, right? after all, you’re the best wife aren’t you?

🗨️ this is so hilarious, cute and sweet 🥹 Loved it✨

⭐Entirety @btsgotjams27 [3.3k]  // knj x f.reader // slice of life!au, f2l // 🥵🥰

📝 namjoon is the complete package, except for the fact that he won’t make the first move.

🗨️ AFGJFKGHLKFDHGJGKJHG— 🥵🥵🥵 Yes, I’ve resulted to key smashing because I’m speechless, but I’ll try to give a few words anyway: first, this was incredibly hot, I can’t even begin to articulate properly, and the writing, like I’m a so in love with the writing, like the language is so descriptive and imaginative that I can clearly imagine every little fucking detail— and the words? Well they just flow seamlessly! ✨

⭐Heart got Teeth @ugh-yoongi [12k]  // knj x f.reader // enemies to fwb to lovers // 🥵😂

📝 (or, the one where namjoon meets his match and isn’t quite sure how to handle you.)

🗨️ wow okay, love, love, love this one 😭 it’s mainly from Namjoon’s pov, which is amazing, like all he observes about oc… Gosh and their back and forth teasing, witty banter and the dynamic between dominance and losing control— so good, ugh! 🥵 It’s amazing, so if you haven’t read this one yet, I highly recommend it ✨

⭐Castaways @rmnamjoons [25.5k] // knj x f.reader // s2l, slow burn, cruise!au // 🥰🥵🌩️

📝 you’ve always hated the ocean. Open water terrifies you, and you stay as far away from it as possible for self-preservation and peace of mind. Despite this, your friend somehow convinces you to go on a luxury cruise with her, her boyfriend Hoseok, and Hoseok’s nerdy friend Namjoon, who’s almost cute enough to distract you from your debilitating fears. When a sudden storm hits, however, you and Namjoon are swept overboard and find yourselves castaway on a desert island somewhere in the vast South Pacific.

🗨️ holy fucking shit— this was perfection 😭 A new favorite of mine, hands down. First off, the theme? Like being stranded and a castaway, so fucking good. I loved it. The whole trip, also so fun, but their banter, exceptional 👏✨ I loved how their tension build so slowly, a fantastic slowburn 🥰 I also did enjoy when the went overboard, because it made it much more realistic, and the descriptions of the event underwater was so good. Like, everything about this is so fucking amazing! And the smut, omg I’m drooling 🤤

⭐Solace @m-yg93 [13.5k]  // knj x f.reader // roommates!au, s2l // 🥰🥵😂

📝 Namjoon thought getting used to a new roommate would take time and adaptation but you fit yourself into his apartment with ease. He swears he only landed in your bed to keep you safe in his arms when you get spooked by the storm. Surely he can blame the eventual lack of clothing on the summer’s heat stroke.

🗨️ omg 😭 This was so fucking cute, sweet, dirty and filthy 🥵 I loved it so much!!!! I loved how Yoongi called Jin and Namjoon ‘Biceps and Shoulders’ 🤣 So hilarious! This was truly just— *chef’s kiss* 😘

⭐The Sheriff @ppersonna [6.8k]  // knj x f.reader // f2l, cowboy!au // 🥰🥵😂

📝 you’ve always had a soft spot for Kim Namjoon, the local sheriff.  seems like he’s had one for you, too.

🗨️ ahhhh— the smut in this 🥵🥵🥵 Hot, hot, hot! Another new favorite! It was so good and damn, the last line of dialogue had me laughing way too much 🤣 

⭐Knock it Down a Peg @thatlongspringnight [3.3k]  // knj x f.reader // est. relationship // 🥰🥵😂

📝 thanks to an idea from Jungkook’s girlfriend, you and Namjoon decided to try something new in the bedroom.

🗨️ this was just so fucking funny 🤣 I really loved it! Like I was laughing the whole time— that’s how funny it was! A short, but very very funny read! ✨

⭐The Truth Untold @rmnamjoons [10.1k]  // knj x f.reader // bf2l // 🥰🥵🌩️

📝 you’ve been trapped for months in a loveless, toxic relationship, too afraid of what would happen if you ever tried to leave. Your boyfriend gets so jealous, especially of your best friend Namjoon, who you’ve missed more than your heart can stand. Now, seeing Namjoon for the first time in weeks, you decide that it’s time to tell him everything, no matter the cost.

🗨️ ah what— this was both sad and very very sweet 😭 It’s sad, because it’s cheating— 😭 What she has with Namjoon is pure sweetness, and he is perfect for her 😭💜 I really loved it, though I have conflicted feelings about the cheating (I always have lol), but it was really good and I really liked it! It was so soft, beautiful and I love their relationship and she should just have picked Namjoon from the start!! Anyway, a really good story that will tear you up a bit. Also, just seeing the banner had me in tears already, and looking at it again, I’m already crying 😭

⭐Park and Ride @here2bbtstrash [4.8k]  // knj x f.reader // fuckbuddy!au // 🥵

📝 your fuckbuddy asks if the two of you can drive around a bit first, but he has a hard time keeping his hands to himself

🗨️ wow this was both cute and hot 🥵 There’s also a small drabble to it that can be found here: [link]

⭐Cream @luxekook [1.8k]  // knj x f.reader // est. relationship, idol!au // 🥵

📝 you thirst over the outline in the pants of kim namjoon’s iconic cream suit just one time too many, and he’s ready to make you pay for it.

🗨️ Namjoon in that cream suit— what more do I need to say? 🥵 (also loved it, in case there was any confusion on that part ✨)

⭐Don’t Want Your Sympathy @sketchguk [9.5k]  // knj x f.reader x jjk // est. relationship + threesome (kinda) // 🥵🥰🌩️😂

📝 jeongguk is like an annoying little brother to you, but nevertheless, there’s nothing in this world you wouldn’t do for your sweet, innocent best friend. so what are you supposed to do when he wants to watch your boyfriend fuck you senseless? say no?

🗨️ fuck. I’m going feral over this one 😭🥵 First, oc being best friends with Jungkook, so much so that she and Namjoon are willing to show him how to please a woman, please, I don’t know but that must be like the ultimate friendship goal? 🥹😂 I really loved it, and all the sexual teasing and banter was just so hilarious 😂 

⭐1-Year Anniversary @johobi [7.8k]  // knj x f.reader // est. relationship // 🥵🥰

📝 your 1-year anniversary is fast approaching and you’re determined to gift Namjoon the one thing he would never dare ask for. 

🗨️ omg this was so utterly amazing and hot 🥵✨ Another favorite and I loved everything about it 💜

⭐Embrace @rmnamjoons [3.9k]  // knj x f.reader // bf2l, idol!au // 🥵🥰

📝 you and Namjoon have been best friends for years, and you’ve been secretly in love with him basically the entire time. You both love cuddling and being close, much to the amusement of your friends, but to you, being with Namjoon like this means everything. You’ve always believed that Namjoon didn’t feel the same way as you, no matter how much you wanted him to, but maybe there is actually something else behind Namjoon’s cuddles, other than just innocent friendship.

🗨️ this is so fucking soft, cute and sweet and the smut is just so tender 🥹 a really awesome read and I really love it! Might read this one again sometime ✨💜

⭐My Only Wish @ppersonna [15.1k]  // knj x f.reader // e2l, fake dating!au, coworkers!au // 🥵🥰🌩️

📝 there are few things you hate most in this world. Hornets, unnecessary fruit pieces in otherwise perfectly good jello, certain shades of orange… But nothing takes the cake more than two simple things. Christmas. And Kim Namjoon. So why did you agree to pretend to be Kim Namjoon’s girlfriend at his family Christmas party? Bah-Humbug.

🗨️ the way that I am screaming and kicking because of how incredibly awesome this was 😭✨ The tension? The built up?? God. That tension was so fucking thick and hot, I was going feral through most of the reading. I mean, what isn’t there to love in this one? Amazing, I loved it so fucking much it’s illegal 💖🥹

⭐You Set My Heart on Fire: pt1 and pt2 (series; finished) @hayjeon [21k] // knj x f.reader // one night stand, s2l, workplace!au, fireman!Namjoon + paramedic!reader // 🌩️🥰🥵

📝 as a surgeon forced to volunteer as a paramedic in the Seoul Fire Department during an unfortunate probation incident, your one and only goal was to get to work, do your thing, and get the hell home and back to your original high-salary job. But when the SFD’s Chief is the incredibly attractive, cocky, and persistent Kim Namjoon, things start to get heated.  

🗨️ holy shit this is amazing 💖 Namjoon as a firefighter? So fucking hot 🔥 oc as a surgeon turned paramedic ✨ and all the action, the tension, the friends with the whole crew and all the guys??? 🥹 Fuck. This one is amazing, another favorite! 

⭐Real Magic @here2bbtstrash [16.7k]  // knj x f.reader // christmas!au, workplace!au, single dad!Namjoon // 🥵🥰

📝 the holiday season has never meant anything to you beyond suffering long hours for minimum wage and awaiting the collapse of capitalism— but this year, you’d be willing to add making out with your dilf coffee shop boss to the list.

🗨️ omg this was just so fucking amazing 🥰 I love everything about it and the plot was so fluffy 🥺 Namjoon was just so fluffy and I love his kid ✨ Such a sweet holiday fic, and even if it isn’t read around Christmas time it will bring a smile to your face. It’s truly amazing 💜

⭐Taking Flight @rmnamjoons [15.2k]  // knj x f.reader // sci fi!au, post apocalypse!au alien invasion!au, e2l // 🥵🌩️🥰

📝 more than a decade after the alien invasion that wiped out most of the planet, you and Namjoon are both in the Pilot Cadet Corps, training for if the alien attackers ever come back. What begins as a playful rivalry between two overachievers develops into a deep friendship and emotional bond, but when the aliens suddenly return and you and Namjoon are separated, you find out just what you’re willing to do to get back to him.

🗨️ This was so fucking good, amazing! Really good backstory and world building, the dystopian universe was heartbreaking though, they lost so much 😭 but amidst it all, they thankfully found each other 🥹 it was so fluffy after all the rivalry and angst! The rivalry and banter was so funny though! I really liked that! I really loved the whole thing 🥰

⭐Love.fm @ugh-yoongi [12.4k]  // knj x f.reader // exes!au // 🌩️🥰😂

📝 you know three things for certain: jeon jeongguk will do anything to inconvenience you, kim seokjin is an absolute bastard for putting you in charge of the station’s holiday show, and you’ve got a lot of regrets about the way your relationship ended. however, you also know spending the last two years on your own has done you some good. you’ve got a new haircut, an apartment with a bay window, and a rescue dog. there’s also the stranger who keeps writing into the station about regrets of their own. the stranger whose prose feels so familiar. the stranger who leaves you wondering if things with your ex are quite as resolved as you think.

🗨️ this one is completely SFW 😘 It’s angsty, really more sad to me, with all the thoughts and feelings one could go through after a break up, but still missing that person 🥹 it was really beautiful, and I think the feelings are handled so well, how oc gradually let her friends in (the fact that she went two years without mentioning why she even got to the radio station in the first place, lol) and how her friends support her, the same with Namjoon, and how they will miss each other, but doesn’t shy from the fact that they still need to talk, work through things, but most importantly, how much they still miss each other, but are so fucking afraid of THE TALK. Gosh. All the feelings 🥹 anxiety! It was so good! The ending is very open and allows you to imagine whatever you want to the (potential) couple 🥹 So amazing, and I really loved it 💖

⭐Reflection @jimilter [18.6k]  // knj x f.reader // s2l // 🌩️🥰😂🥵

📝 when his muse ran dry, his publisher suggested Namjoon to change sceneries in order to regroup his creative spirit, and he left the big city to land in this tiny restaurant on the beach. In his quest for inspiration, he has interacted with hundreds of travelers and realized that on the beach, every life’s a movie – some he connects with, some he likes, and some leave him confused. You fall into the last category, confounding him with your sad eyes and quiet smiles; and with the way poetry flows out of him when you’re around. But what happens when things start to careen towards intense feelings, and both of you have vastly different lives to go back to? Heartbreak.

🗨️ this was so good 😭 so angsty, emotional and sad. All his observations, and then finally towards the end everything comes tumbling out 😭 it was very beautiful, heartbreakingly so, but it does have a happy ending ✨💜

⭐Don’t Read Dead Languages @sailoryooons [17.4k]  // knj x f.reader // e2l // 🌩️🥰😂🥵🪄

📝 Namjoon is determined to visit the Living City of the Dead. Amtenemhat is the Egyptian ruins that the locals fear. Archaeologists have gone missing and strange things lurk in the night. But Namjoon’s work as a historian isn’t perfect if he doesn’t go to the source of the legend, and hiring a weaponized tomb raider seems his best bet at surviving.

🗨️ another brilliant one from Hali ✨ it was so exciting, action packed, incredible lore and funny banter 💜 loved it a lot 💎

This is my little corner with my own fics— I don’t write that much (I prefer to read), but it would mean a lot to me if you checked out my work or read it. You don’t have to, it’s up to you of course 🥰

⭐Sprout (mini series; completed) [21k] // knj x f.reader // neighbors!au, s2e2l, garden!au // 🥵😂

📝 you love your plants, you love your garden, you do not love your new neighbor. You hate him with all your might— he wrecks everything you hold dear so you do the only reasonable thing: retaliate.

🗨️ I really don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote this, but it’s very funny 🤣 OC is so mad and goes straight up vigilante on Namjoon (poor man), there’s stupid banter (JK is her roommate) — it’s really just a crack fic, please don’t take it seriously, but it’s one of my faves 🥰

⭐Deep Dive [19.8k] // knj x f.reader // mermaid!au, fantasy!au, magical!au, s2l // 🥵🪄🥰😂

📝 you’ve been searching for gemstones deep on the seabed— having found a broken piece of blue aquamarine. Searching for the missing piece and your new rival, you find it and much more with the blue tailed merman Namjoon while on a quest for crystals.

🗨️ this is a new addition to my mermaid series— this Namjoon is very soft, cute, loves reading romance books (he’s a nerd and hopeless romantic okay) and he loves collecting crystals too 🥰 This is really just a spicy fantasy story 💜

And as a something little extra, here’s a few fics that I haven’t had the time to read yet, but damn I’m buzzing to get to read them:

Dirty Little Secret @nottodayjjk

All About You @taegularities

Trust Me, Please? (series; discontinued) @sugarwithtea

Sunshine (series; discontinued) @rmnamjoons

All I Want For Christmas is Joon @leahsfavefics

Intersect (series; completed) @shina913

Not Another Holiday Romance @kpopfanfictrash

Dino-Mite @chimcess

Just Like Candy @jamaisjoons

Cruise Control @lavienjin

Happy birthday to the best leader EVER KIM NAMJOON!!!! 🥳💜✨

[n3kk1tty]

The Lost Boys Fandom Sound Off

There are a lot of amazing and talented people in this community on tumblr and I'm happy to point people to and learn about more people who exist in this wonderful place along with me. To make it easier for others to consume copious amounts of fan content I hope to make and add to this list to make it easier to track people.

If I miss anyone or you want to be added please leave a message on the post.

Writer's:

@tac-the-unseen : Absolutely phenomenal imagines. If you're looking for short and sweet imagines they are the place I usually go to.

@ria-coolgirl : Really friendly always supportive. Posts written questions or ideas.

@bubblegumbarbie33 : Funny quote posts that make me sit there day dreaming of new stuff.

@sad-ghost-of-garbage : Makes that good sweet sweet angst.

@lostbetweenvampiresandmusic : Lots of poly content.

@misslavenderlady : There fanfics are so well crafted and who can't appreciate amazing page set up.

@themarginalthinker : The best drabbles

@britany1997 : Makes awesome poly content and it's so easy to get lost in there fics.

@sunkendreams :

@charlizekkelly :

@luv4fandoms :

@darlingverse :

@berd-alert : amazing oneshots. 10/10 would reread repeatedly

@theyreonlynoodlesmike : Such amazing amount of lost boy variety content and a huge selection of top quality content.

@n30nwrites : Has x male reader content and good spicy writing posts.

@i-heart-slashers : Story scene set up is top notch

@redamancy-writes : Delicious angst and variety

@writinginatree : Platonic Fic and Romantic

@chubbyreaderchan : Fixed focused on chubby reader

@ebony-blood : Detailed yet more bitesized requests for the casual fast paced reader.

( recommended list by: @dustofbrokenheart , I took the direct dialogue and recommendations from their reply post to the list )

@thoushallnotfall especially for the "Blood and Water" and "Prey" series but all of Rachel's stuff is great!

@brideofcthulhu10 who was one of the first writers I found for tlb here on tumblr.

@datsrightbby shak has a bunch of fics and headcanon/preference posts.

@garlicdontwork has a few series that include thompson!reader and frog!reader.

@peacepey did a lot of good request work back in the day.

@monsterfuneral wrote some memorable poly imagines. (I believe violet's main account is now @grudgecollector.)

@tinywritinghana has a few series, as well as lots of one shots. A favorite of mine is the "Student's Guide to Raising the Dead" series!

@kurt-nightcrawler cara has fics for both the lost boys and a lost girls project she started at one point.

@dustofbrokenheart : who is another talented writer in the fandom who helped me tremendously with adding valuable members in the community to the sound off page. I couldn't have done it without them.

(end of recommendation list this portion)

@chevvsgotanumbrellatattoo : Have 2 wonderful fics of and trying their hand at lost boys drabbles. Undoubtedly they will be making even more amazing writing content in the future.

@marnievanhelsing: AO3 writer. Has some pretty funny chaotic Tlb head cannons posts that include the frog brothers. Up and coming in the fandom

Artists:

@n3kk1tty : I qualify for artist/ writer but my art has more variety as I focus most of my writing on my lost boy Au / requests.

@popironrye : There art is so colorful and eye popping I always love seeing it on my feed.

@walmart-icarus : Also a writer. Such a cute style of art.

@hypocriticaltypwriter : Truly amazing person in community with such a bouncy art style. Their fan kids are amazing and give everyone baby fever. Also writes and roleplays.

@midnight-in-santa-carla : Wonderful realistic artstyle with vibrant colors.

@gryphonsthing : sweet cute artstyle that's always refreshing to see on my feed.

@starlahuskyz : OMG ID EAT THERE ART IF I COULD

@persephone-s-moon : Amazing muscle shading / lighting.

@fleouriarts : Incredible moody / stylistic art that uses color in a eye catching manner my ADHD brain can't describe.

( recommended list by: @dustofbrokenheart , I took the direct dialogue and recommendations from their reply post to the list )

@witch-lass her drawing style is super cute and recognizable!

@garnetgh0st candy made my favorite moodboards back in the day. There's a seasons, mamma mia, and disney prince series among others. (I count moodboards in art category!)

@thornthehellhound he makes both funny and really pretty art pieces. Very talented!

(end of recommendation list this portion)

Roleplayers:

( I personally don't roleplay at all in the fandom but I know there's people who do and love to do so. I mostly compiled this list using @hypocriticaltypwriter 's recommendation list they have on their blog and thought putting it on the main fandom track sheet to help push the rp blogs center stage. I'm sorry I can't give much of a review. )

@blog4horror : gives great requests

@marko-boy

@paulie-lostboy

I've reached tumblers max tag list. Which who even knew was a thing. I'll continue on my quest in the post reblogged from this one.

[dokiyeom]

AYA’S SEVENTEEN FIC RECS

note: ngl i meant to post this in dec as an end of 2022 sort of thing and as a bit of an apology for my inactivity,, but my mental health has not been fantastic,, but here are some of my favorite seventeen fics that i’ve read !! also ps pls feel free to send me some of ur own favs bc i miss reading fics && i’m begrudgingly admitting that i’m not great at finding fics,, like sm of these i have to thank yeona for sending me :00

ot13/multi/love interest revealed later on !!

UNDER THE SUN - @wooahaes (series // fantasy/darl+ing au // multi ot13 part)

i think i’ve rbed almost all the individual parts if ur interested in my more specific thoughts but this series has been an absolute comfort series for me for a while !! the relationships between the members and the reader - both platonic and romantic have been so lovely to read !! it’s such a genuinely warm series and the worldbuilding is also just soso fantastic !! it is a fantasy sort of au,, so it’s a bit daunting to get into just because the logic of the universes created in this genre is a bit difficult to grasp,, but uts has such an easy to comprehend world and everything is explained so clearly !! it’s genuinely one of the most comforting fics i’ve read this year and one that i’d highly recommend to pretty much everyone,, even if u aren’t a carat :D

APARTMENT A5C - @suhnshinehaos (smau - college au)

my favorite svt smau that combines some of my fav tropes/aus (housemates and uni) !! ++ i’d argue there’s a found family aspect that just melts my heart soso much,, like the reader’s relationship with the 96 line, both platonic and romantic are insanely heartwarming and comforting !! the banter is so entertaining && all of the additional friendships are just to die for !! esp sana and yuta with the reader !! but honestly this smau is just soso sweet and a story where u really root for the main couple to get together bc they just fit each other so well !! def another fic i’d recommend to anyone !!

LOVESTRUCK @/suhnshinehaos (smau - college au)

short endings for the reader’s other housemates !! has the same entertaining banter and cute relationship buildup that is just soso perfect to read after apartment a5c to treat ur post fic sadness <3 all the relationships are formed in a shorter period of time, but with just that same amount of investment !!

CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

OBVIOUS - @leejungchans  (0.9k words - wedding florist and baker au) 

so stinking cute !! the reader and seungcheol having related businesses and appreciating each other’s dedications to their respective crafts is soso endearing :D genuinely my fav seungcheol fic bc hello ? good writing + sulky cheol + established relationship ? an absolute 10/10 and must read that i revisit way too often :D

YOON JEONGHAN

ORDER UP - @/leejungchans  (2.4k - cafe au)

half of these r gonna b recs from sol’s masterlist,, but her works r just too good !! this fic is so darn cute and entertaining, with jeonghan’s antics + his classic attention n care for those in his life were captured so well !! him remembering the reader’s order and his sheer dedication to orchestrating an opportunity for a conversation outside of the reader placing their order was just so fun to read && is genuinely a fic i reread time and time again :D

CAUGHT @/leejungchans (1.1k - preschool? teachers au)

this. this is so insanely endearing hello ?? jeonghan as a preschool teacher is absolutely perfect, and the banter mixed with such tender love that the reader and jeonghan share is just so <3 it’s a relatively short read,, so i’d highly, HIGHLY, recommend giving this a read because it’s soso worth it,, esp if ur feeling a bit down and in need of something fun and sweet to read :D

REDEMPTION @/leejungchans (11.5k)

such whirlwind of emotions but soso insanely riveting !! bad boy jeonghan,,, oh my gosh a concept i (YOU !!) never knew i (YOU !!) needed in my life. him driving a motorcycle. him w tattoos. insane. amazing. fantastic. and a redemption arc ??? reader holding him accountable for wrongdoings ??? genuine efforts to change ?? go read it rn !! u must !!

CANDLELIGHT @/leejungchans (1.2k) - a fav bc its own of my fav tropes :D (blind dates)

my all time favorite jeonghan fic. literally so sweet to read and had me grinning ?? in the middle of the night ?? at my phone !! that’s outrageous !! but so insanely understandable bc this is such an enjoyable read && just so easily heartwarming to hear about the setup of the blind date. honestly,, i don’t think i can understate just how charming and worth reading this is !! 

THE MOST PRECIOUS THING @idyllic-ghost​ (3.6k - hospital/secret relationship au) 

another charming and lovely fic !!! i’m such a sucker for the secret relationship trope,, and this fic had such a fantastic take on it !! i adored the dynamic that jeonghan and the reader had, esp how much they cared for and rooted for each other :DD the banter at work and the tender love they share at home was also just,, absolutely chef’s kiss !!

HONG JOSHUA

LOVE ON THE AIR @suhnshinehaos​ (smau - college au)

i was. so invested in this smau LMAO but the reader and joshua’s friendship was soso lovely to read !! the buildup and tension were absolutely insane and genuinely had me so excited every time i logged onto tumblr to check for any updates :D the side friendships were also just so lovable and endearing,, and i found this smau to overall b super super charming :D

GOLDEN HOUR @dkfile​ 1(2.4k - summer vacation/bffs2l au)

joshua and the reader’s friendship is just so insanely sweet and endearing to read !! this fic is so reminiscent of a sentimental and fun coming of age romance,, which i feel like fits joshua soso well !! the whole time ur rooting soso hard for the main couple to get together, and just reading the buildup is incredibly entertaining !! and also the banter ?? literally so amazing && funny :D

WEN JUNHUI

HOW HARD MY HEART’S BEATING @adi--writes (3.3k - travel/photographer au)

the prose,, oh my gosh !! this fic played out so cinematically !! i loved jun and the reader’s friendship so much,, and how the fic progresses just naturally makes u root for a confession scene regardless of them being the main couple !! everything flowed so organically and their travel stories made for such a beautiful and compelling journey of love :D

KWON SOONYOUNG

(UN)TRADITIONAL @neonun-au (1.8k - wedding au)

the alt title >>> this fic was so full of personality and the premise just fits soonyoung so well !!! the bond that the reader and soonyoung share is just so insanely heartwarming,, esp their mutual understanding and respect for each other’s values !! in general,, the love in this fic is so genuine and lovable :DDD

JEON WONWOO

FLOWER @wonwoonlight (13k - exes au / editor+writer au)

this premise. my gosh it’s perfect !! this fic was such a great take on the second chance trope and the emotions were so fantastically fleshed out !! the progression of wonwoo and the reader’s relationship felt so natural and overall so enjoyable to read :DD

PLAY AGAIN @shuarush (37k words - coworkers au)

the pining !! the tension !! the friendships !! the anecdotes !! the prose !! go read it !! rn !! overall this was such a beautiful journey to read and i enjoyed it soso much :D aside from the main relationship,, i found the reader and jeonghan’s friendship to be soso sweet and endearing !! i also loved loved loved !!!! the writing style in this fic !! everything was so well paced and patient,, which made for such a compelling and beautiful journey that i absolutely loved !!

LEE JIHOON

LIVE @wondernus (1.24k - est relationship au)

so stinking cute !!!! i’m such a sucker for fics like these where the love interest is live and everyone’s also swooning over how sweet the relationship is :DD the love jihoon has for the reader is soso heartwarming and fuels my unending yearning for this sort of cute partnership <//3 this fic is just so enjoyable and the ending. it’s perfect :DDD bc same soonyoung,, same

HEARTACHE AND A LATTE @dkfile (9.3k - cafe au)

read this after not reading any fics for a WHILE and this was just such a chef’s kiss fic :D like the friendships with seungkwan, soonyoung, jeonghan, and wonwoo ?? amazing !!! but the buildup w jihoon !!! my gosh it was so genuinely cute !! i absolutely adored their friendship and the little indications of jihoon’s feelings for the reader :D just such a cute and lighthearted fic that i’d highly rec !!!

LEE SEOKMIN

SOMETHING SWEET @wonwoonlight (2.1k - cafe au)

your honor i love this fic !!!! w all my heart !!!! this fic captured just how lovable seokmin is && had such a cute pining plot :DD this was soso heartwarming and i was so easily invested in their relationship !! overall,, just such a sweet and enjoyable read :DD

KIM MINGYU

MY DAISY @wonwoonlight (series)

this. this was so fantastic. genuinely,,, everyone needs to read this when they can bc it is soso worth reading !!! i loved the friendships and the reader’s relationship with mingyu so much,, and gyuri !!!! gyuri !!!!! honestly i don’t think i can explain just how much i love this fic,, but pls,, pls read this bc this series is so insanely fantastic and had me so invested the whole way :DD

FIVE SHOTS AT LOVE @wooahaes​ (8.5k)

one of my favorite fics !! one of the first fics i read and i just absolutely fell in love with the setup of this fic,,, like the friendship with wonwoo just absolutely won my heart,, and the deepening relationship with the reader was the cherry on top !! such a beautiful and emotionally vulnerable fic that i found so much joy and sadness, but ultimately such an insane amount of comfort in :D def read and check out some of the warnings beforehand just in case !!

TRIAL AND ERROR @/leejungchans (2.9k - cafe au)

SUCH a cute little fic about mingyu trying to approach the reader but failing so miserably each time :D i had such a great time reading this and rooting for mingyu in each attempt !! his genuine earnestness was so adorable to read the way the ending panned out gave me so many giggles :D

XU MINGHAO

ACADEMIC INFATUATION @berriesandjunnie​ (2.5k - professor au)

i love a college setting, workplace romance, and any au where everyone around the reader/main couple are just rooting so hard for them to get together !!! and omg professor hao AND flustered hao ?? like bc of his feelings and nervousness ?? omg literally such a lovely read !!! i had such a good time reading this && got a bit of a giggle which is so 10/10 when reading a fic !!! def read !!!!

AVANTE GARDE @hoyoungy (4.1k - uni/artist au)

tbh as someone who really loves art,, i found this fic suuper enjoyable !! and black mullet minghao ?? hello ?? overall,, i loved the development of minghao and the reader’s relationship soso much and the general nature of how they get to know one another :D like i was soso invested in their journey and just really loved the appreciation both of them grow and have for each other :DD vv worth reading and would highly recommend :D 

BOO SEUNGKWAN

CLASSMATES TO LOVERS @/leejungchans (2.1l uni au)

bulletfics are def such a gem to read,, like short n sweet,, just perfect for a cute little fic :D i adored seungkwan’s impression of the reader and his sheer admiration for them !! like the chemistry was so on point and executed so well in this format too !! AND THE CHOCOLATES gosh this is so cute i love how seungkwan was written in this fic !! 

CHWE VERNON

WORK HUSBAND @wondernus​ (8.8k - teacher au)

my gosh this was soso cute,, like literally i’ve reread this more times than i can admit :0 the reader and vernon’s friendship is just so endearing and felt so genuine !! i really enjoyed reading the buildup of their relationship and just found this to be such a charming story !! like what i would give. to read this for the first time again PLEASE read this !!!

OR WOULD YOU RATHER IT BE ME @thepixelelf (7.9k - soulmate au)

a whole journey of emotions that had me on the edge of my seat and waiting for the reveal !!! the relationship between the reader and vernon were established so well,, like their genuine care and desire for each other to stay in their lives just straight up tugs at my heartstrings !!! this was such a wholesome and hilarious love story that i thoroughly enjoyed :D

LEE CHAN (aka leejungchans chan fics :DDD)

THE SECRET LANGUAGE OF FLOWERS (6.5k words - flower/tattoo shop au)

i loved the contrast between the reader and chan’s character soso much,, and how that ultimately made their relationship soso much more cute and lovable ?? like how intimidated he was and his little crush that he tried so hard to squander !! i love the progression of their relationship soso much and how genuine chan was written in this fic !!!!

OF STICKY NOTES AND STRANGERS (3.8k words)

every time i sit in a library, cafe, or park, i’m waiting for this to happen to me. i adore the premise of this soso much and how the reader’s friend group schemes to catch the perpetrator :DD like overall this fic was so lovely and i def understand the little crushes you get in public on attractive people in your vicinity while working in a public space :DD just so cute,, so heartwarming,, and def fuels my yearning

SCORED! (12.4k words - uni au)

athlete chan,,, oh wow,,,,, this fic was one of the first chan fics i read as i got into seventeen and definitely cemented him as one of my biases in the group :DD i love the banter that went on between the reader and chan,, as well as all the hilarious little details of the other columns !! like project vernway is forever ingrained in my mind whenever i see pieces christiano siriano or any other contestants from project runway !!! overall i just love how this fic played out and all of the hilarious interactions between everyone involved !!! def a super fun read :DDD

[heiayen]

food for thought? - furina & gn!reader

summary: you and furina visit the local food stalls.

tags: can be read both as romantic and platonic, depending on how you choose to read this! as it says in the summary! [name] eats meat if someone has a problem with that, cute lil drabble no dialogues written. part 1 (watching gaming's perfomance) part 2 (playing with kites) part 3 (picking qingxins) part 4 (visiting the hulao mountain and bringing food as an offering) part 6 (taking care of qiqi)

notes: hello this is my fourth? fifth? entry for @/astronetwrk new lunar year event. i don't know much of street food so i just zoomed thru the genshin wiki with food and tried to pick what dishes would be possibly found on street stalls </3 anyways. enjoy.

You were very excited to try out the local street food and, of course, you brought Furina along. You enjoyed tasting new dishes a lot, especially every time you had the chance to venture outside Fontaine and taste the local cuisine of whatever nation you were at that moment visiting.

Food was good, yes, you liked eating good food, especially your favourite dishes, but the local cuisine of a nation held importance greater than ‘just something to fill your stomach with’. Traditional dishes held years of history, after all. So many dishes you came across around Tevyat had their own story and you truly loved listening to them, learning about the people living there, and how the dishes came to life in the first place. 

That, and yes, you loved tasty food in general. But street food in particular. 

With a pouch of coins (yours and Furina’s, sharing was important after all, yes) and an empty stomach, you were ready. 

The first stall you saw was selling Mora Meat and, oh, how excited you were to try it. You were planning to eat it way earlier already, but… you simply forgot. You tugged Furina into the stall and decided to buy just one and share it with each other. It sure took you a moment to break the sandwich– it reminded you of one– into half without making too much of a mess,  but you did it.

You absolutely loved the taste. The meat was good, and the spices were a perfect amount, giving the whole pastry an amazing, rich taste. Furina also liked it, praising the pastry but you could tell that she was yet to find a dish she truly loved.

The next food you tried was Fried Radish Balls. You weren’t a stranger to radish, no, but this was the first time you tried a fried version of it and you were pretty sure that the radish that was used here was different from the one you knew… in looks at least.

You and Furina both got a stick each. You blew air at it to cool it down and after a moment, you ate one small ball of radish and other chopped veggies and you really liked. A perfect balance of vegetables, crispy on the outside and, surprisingly, chewy on the inside. But you had to laugh at Furina who rushed into eating a little too fast and, unfortunately, managed to burn her tongue just a little. 

For your last dish for now (because, turns out, not only the meat sandwich was filling but so were the radish balls, despite its small size), you decided on something sweet, much to Furina’s happiness. And quickly, you spotted a stall like this.

For the dessert, you decided to get a candy made of really thin sugar strings, reminding you of candy floss. You learned the candy’s name was Dragon’s Beard and, oh, you absolutely could see from where this came. Soon, you ended up with two candies, filled with nuts 

It was so sweet and the nuts were a nice contrast between the sugar strings and both you and Furina absolutely loved it. It seemed as if out of all, this was her favourite dish and you weren’t surprised, she always was known for a sweet tooth.

All in all, you considered your little journey over food stalls as a very enjoyable one, even if your coin pouch… became just a little lighter by the end of it.

[dirtyoldmanhole]

your gunter brainrot is oddly inspiring, it is honestly nice to see someone so passionate about a character. i am curious, is there any other gunter ships you are interested in or want to explore? any dynamics that stick out to you?

awww shucks, thank you!!! I don't know if I'd call it passionate as it was a straight up possession lmao, but you're very kind. :> It's been fun!

Gunter/Corrin is still my ride or die OTP to end all OTP's buuut there are some other ideas through these playthroughs ~

Gunter/Flora is still nibbling at my mind, whether it's a platonic scene or if something romantic naturally develops out of those DLC holiday supports. contrary to the translator's comments i don't see Flora's offer to take care of him being familial-related at all. :p a lot of Flora's lines in general across the routes are dedicated to Jakob being somebody she pines for, so imagine the meat you'd get when she gets to know who trained Jakob and was essentially his dad (lol). delicious semi-sweet, semi-skeevy potential there! (doubly so if you take the more morbid interpretation and have flora projecting her jakob feelings on him and then gunter projecting his corrin feelings on her.) they're both quite shy about their feelings so I don't know if either one of them would actually work up the courage for anything more than an unusual amount of chemistry, but I could see low key not-really-serious flirting that they secretly enjoy.

For very complicated grief-related reasons (possibly a meta post after this fic?) I can't really see Gunter sticking around long post-game if he doesn't have a romantic anchor to be a reason for existence, but I can see Flora genuinely being a notable exception.

haven't even touched on the fact that both of them betray Corrin in at least one if not more routes (and still love and care for her anyways), so there's that emotional coldness/pragmatism to also play with.

Gunter&Azura - last playthrough of Rev really made me realize just how many parallels they have. :o both perceived as/are traitors, both keep really tragic secrets about their families for decades, both don't come anywhere to showing their whole "self" even if married or in just one route.

there's also that bit how Azura was stolen away from Nohr as a child and how Gunter blames himself a little bit for that. like. what's up with that, how would Azura take that? Would she forgive him for his particular betrayal against her post-Revelation?

also think a support conversation between Gunter&Silas would be super cool because I strongly headcanon he was the one to nearly execute the poor boy after getting in trouble for sneaking Corrin out. Silas keeps mentioning in all routes how the guards nearly had him killed, and Gunter's kind of the de-facto castle commander (or so the routes imply). Would Silas be nervy about meeting him again? Would Gunter be able to genuinely apologize (would he feel the need to?) Would they be able to move on and reminisce about Corrin?

In a similar way, Gunter&Jakob's got underutilized potential but I haven't quite cracked that nut there. there is one amazing as hell porn fic with them that i know about though :D

( also special shout out to @lululeighsworld and their summoner with him. :D from one selfshipper from another game to another, it is suchhhh a delight to see the kinds of exploration you can't get with base game stories. gotta shake those old man characters like a bag of marbles to get the juicy bits out!! )

[autisticempathydaemon]

Thank you for doing this! And also thank you for making me aware of the personality tests hehe :))

I got equal amounts type 4 and type 8 on the chart and I’m an INFP. (I don’t know what these mean I hope it isn’t bad 😭)

What is you go to way to fall asleep?

A lot of the time I stay up so late that I fall asleep without even meaning to but if I can’t sleep then sleep aids or sad music do the trick more often than not. And if we’re talking about positions I always sleep on my side with like one leg up. I know it’s bad for your back but it’s sooo comfy.

What redacted boy holds no appeal to you and why?

Ollie is probably my least listened to. He seems like a really sweet character but I just can’t seem to get into his videos, I would say it might be because they’re more mundane than the others but my other two least faves (out of the love interests) are probably Gavin and Vincent so that doesn’t add up.

Tell me about the one book/movie/tv show you know all the words too.

Bojack Horseman. I think the shows really clever and I often find myself rewatching and finding new details every-time. I think it’s a bit of a comfort which is strange since the main character is basically always in trouble for something but a lot of the characters talk about relatable things that I’d never seen anyone else mention before.

If you had to change your name what would it be and why?

Laurie. My mum wanted to name me that when I was born but my dad didn’t like it. I prefer it to my irl name so probably that. I’ve also always liked the name Parker.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted too?

Huxley. I’m not too sure why I think it’s cause he’s so easy going. I love camping and also find myself a digging holes a lot so that could also be a reason lol but if I could hang out with any redacted character it would definitely be him.

Which song are you fixated on and why?

The boys are back in town by thin lizzy. There’s not a specific verse or anything it just came on randomly whilst I was running and now I can’t stop listening to it I’d completely forgotten it existed.

Do you have a go to thing you ramble about when tired?

If I’m tired I tend to not be very talkative at all. I prefer listening to other people talk but if I am in a rambling mood it would probably be about things that happened irl or Animals.

What is your favourite of redacted audios and why?

Besides my favourite characters entire playlist. I’d say either the inversion or Aaron’s sleep aid. I really like the inversion I just think the story telling and emotions are amazing and you get to hear so many different characters. And there’s just something about Aaron’s sleep aid that make me feel happy. I think it’s the way Smartass falls asleep in the chair with him.

I hope this isn’t too long and if you have a lot to do don’t worry about skipping this one! Happy time zone friend!!

Hmm, this was a thunker, since Four and Eight are a really interesting combination. What I think they have in common is an intelligent independence, a self-reliance that Elliott could really work with.

Both Fours and Eights seem to be characterized by a strong sense of identity- they have an unshakable confidence in who they are and who they want to be. Elliott strikes me as an excellent partner for this type of person, because he’s very supportive and loving in his own genial, earnest way, if you know what I mean? He would be neither overbearing nor neglectful. Elliott would just always be by your side, encouraging and kind and ready to support you however and whenever you may need.

Additionally, I think you and Elliott would like a lot of the same things~ You mentioned loving camping, which reminded me of the dreamscape he made with the campfire by the lake and made me picture of the two of you going together, fighting over who gets to control the aux cord on the way there. I can also see him coming over on another normal Friday night and ready to settle in for a night of watching your favorite show together.

Song:

I want the world in my hands/ I hate the beach/ But I stand in California with my toes in the sand/ Use the sleeves of my sweater/ Let's have an adventure

Elliott strikes me as a The Neighbourhood boy, and I cannot put into words why. He just is. I like this song for him in particular because the vibes and tone of it are so romantic and dreamy (pun intended). It’s the kind of song on the kind of playlist he’d have for your nights together- chill, lo-fi kind of tunes that would play while you talk through the night or fall asleep together.

Runner-Ups:

Damien was definitely a contender for runner-up. Other than the Enneagram type, where I think of Damien as a Six, I think y’all have a lot of similarities like your sleep hygiene and the type of shows you like. James strikes me as another good match because of his stable, solid temperament that I think would match well with a thoughtful, independent partner.

Note: thank you so much for waiting! The long distance bf flew into town, so I’ve been distracted, but I’m hoping to get back into the swing of things 💕

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

[halotolerant]

Dear Yuletide Writer 2024

Dear Yuletide Writer

Thank you for writing for me! I am delighted you also enjoy these characters and fandoms :D 

I have rambled about each one to give you a starting point, please write what you feel moved to write. I am very into stories about relationships - platonic, romantic, sexual and all the overlaps. I definitely enjoy an E rated fic but I’m always there for the characters first and foremost. I am open to BDSM, omegaverse and other ‘role based’ scenes or world building, if that’s your thing. 

Just getting one fic about any of these would be a dream, but I am absolutely open to treats! 

LE SSERAFIM (Band)

Any

I have loved Le Sserafim since the Hybe Picnic aka Game Caterers x HYBE. I enjoy their attitude and their chemistry, and I’m fascinated by their histories - the fact that Sakura and Chaewon were previously in a different band together, and that they knew Yunjin as well, and then you’ve got Kazhua speaking another language, from a totally different world of classical ballet. And Gold Maknae Eunchae too of course! 

I would be really interested by a fic about them and their interactions, be that a slice of life or something more complicated, ‘canon compliant’ would be fascinating but I could imagine wonderful things with e.g. X Files AU, buddy cop AU, omegaverse - or a canon-divergent where they meet under different circumstances. I would love something shippy, for any combo of these 4 including poly (to be clear: not anything shippy involving Eunchae though). 

DNWs: Death, suicide/sucidal ideation, self-harm, non-con, or vast amounts of dieting stuff, as canon as I know it is

Vanner (Band)

Lee Taehwan (Vanner), Lee Wonseo | Gon (Vanner)

Like so many I fell for Vanner during Peak Time, and I’ve become increasingly obsessed with Taehwan and Gon’s married couple vibes. The dynamic between Taehwan as the sensible leader but also the band’s biggest cuddler, versus Gon as the choreography who joined them as a member, who is so wacky and yet so sweet. I feel pretty certain they’ve made out a non-zero amount of times, even if it was just to get attention in the club, back when they were far from famous and Dispatch was not remotely an issue… Again, I would be really interested in a fic about them however you’d like, be it canon based (and so much has happened to them in the last 2 years!) or some kind of AU (they would also rock the ‘buddy cop’ trope). 

DNWs: Death, suicide/sucidal ideation, self-harm, non-con, or vast amounts of dieting stuff, as canon as I know it is

Love in Translation RPF 

Daou Pittaya Saechua, Offroad Kantapon Jindataweephol 

This is classed as ‘Love in Translation RPF’ but it was actually ‘Century of Love’ which got me into these actors/singers and their amazing chemistry. The scene in ‘Century of Love’ where Offroad is a nine tail… phew! I know they won a survival show together and obviously have done these two awesome projects since, I love and am fascinated by that ‘work relationship’ where they need to be so intimate and are clearly so comfortable with it and each other. If you’ve offered this pair, you probably have your own ideas about how you’d write them and please go for it! If you’d like a prompt, I’m up for all the classics: kissing practice, fake dating-turned-real dating, feelings realisation, domestic fluff :D

DNWs: Death, suicide/sucidal ideation, self-harm, non-con, or vast amounts of dieting stuff, as canon as I know it is

Malory Towers (2020 TV)

Daryl Rivers, Gwendoline Mary Lacey

I really enjoy this adaptation of the Blyton books - it’s diverse, inclusive and the kind of show my young teen self would have adored. And as a young teen at a girls school, what I was going through at their age was realising that I felt a whole lot of certain kind of way about other girls. Daryl and Gwen are my favourite characters, and I’d love a story about them having that kind of experience. I do ship them - the foe yay, Drarry-style, is immense, and I love the idea of how *annoyed* they’d be at finding each other attractive as they grow up, and how blindsided they’d be by a crush. Gwen’s earnest romanticism and wanting someone to kiss her - maybe she’s got a volunteer closer to home? But equally, them reuniting as adults would be fascinating - possibly seeing each other with a girlfriend, how would that feel? Or not shippy, but one of them having that experience and the other reacting and incorporating that into their ongoing relationship. 

DNWs: Death, suicide/sucidal ideation, self-harm, non-con.

[alpydk]

You can thank @judasiskariot for this style of chaotic commenting. The first part is basically a live reaction, the latter and overall love. So sit back and enjoy as much as I did reading this. (It's a good enjoy)

But the soul-wrenching nausea, that was new. - I was instantly like fuck; you did go differently. Next sentence, oh thank the gods...

‘Desirable things in life are never guaranteed,’ she told herself. ‘You can always lose them. – Yessss, sweet, sweet internal angst with problematic thinking

She couldn’t have her heart broken again if she didn’t expect anything. - I’m in this story. How?

‘Hi, Gale’? ‘Dear Gale,’? ‘Esteemed Professor Dekarios,’? – Love the alternatives of various formalities, hoping to find one suitable for whatever state their relationship is in.

The doodles!!! Honestly, just these letters in themselves are amazing. Tried to do something cute – We’ve all done this, haven’t we? No? Just me? Oh...

All Gale told himself for a year was that he’d made mistakes so huge that no one should have to ever bear the burden of his presence again. Anyone who showed any affection towards him, platonic or otherwise, was a fool who was wasting their time. They’d just end up being let down by this depressed shadow of a former Archmage. – So fucking perfectly perfect Gale written. Down to the core, nailed it.

That would explain how easily she ended up in Waterdeep in the marketplace on that cold, rainy day... - Hark back love! (my not so guilty pleasure)

Oh, the handwriting differences between them and the amount written. So Gale like. It’s so pretty. And in the purple too.

Which is why I want to tell you that I’m proud of you. – Praise. Oof, my bitter heart is trying to beat.

Arh – Her broken heart doodle, his filled heart! – Arg – broken again! – broken heart doodles! So much love in doodle form!

It wasn’t even fulfilling, if it makes you feel any better.- Damn shade on the succubus!

You had to go find your pleasure elsewhere. His pissy cattiness shiny through. The venom is still there and I love it.

I only ever truly wanted you. – Hark back love! (Sorry, I’m like this with other fics that do it too, it’s not just because it’s mine. Just see the midwinter in Waterdeep fic – I love it there too.)

I need to hear them. – He’s so desperate and I love it!

Went for more tea... Not relevant, but if you were curious.

My weaknesses. My fuck-ups. – Both blaming themselves like crazy- What guilt ridden fools these mortals be!

I have a confession to make. – oh my fucking god. She didn’t!? She fucking did!? Wow. Just yeah, that’s 100x better than I came up with.

Tav approves. – Yes! Game Easter eggs!

It was all an act to save face out in public.

I’ve found joy in cooking meals again. – nooo, not Gale’s cooking being affected! That one hurts.

I’ll do whatever you need, but I cannot, I will not lose you again. – He fights for her, even now. He’s so good!

My precious Gale, - Naawwwwwwww

we’ve walked back from that ledge – together. – So important between the two of them. He sees them still together, even if they’re not. Even after everything.

My heart aches for you and my arms feel so painfully empty without you in them. – he’s so sweet.

Just don’t be holding a stack of books this time… - Oh, I know this one! Harkback love!!!!!

---

I love it. Tav has been built on so much and now she feels like an actually fleshed out character, not just some sexed up Bhaalspawn written for the only purpose of having hate sex. She’s now your character through and through and this is your story completely.

You can see how even me, with my angst and killing of characters, got softened up through that and I’m so hyped for what is going to come next with it all.

Loved the letters, they’re so nice looking and fit the personalities of the characters so well. And I love how introspective it all was all the way through with them questing themselves and their motives and what they wanted from the future. Amazing work, really!

Going to happily sit and wait for the next part and that huge Waterdeep kiss that’s going to happen between them because they actually feel so healed after everything that went on between them. Love it all! Love it!

Tenacity - Chapter 3 of the "Consequences" series

It's finally here!! Thank you all for your patience. Because of the physical letter writing I drew for Tav and Gale's back-and-forth, this took much longer than I anticipated. Plus, the story just kind of...ran away with itself... This chapter comes in at a word count over 8,000 and I don't know how that happened LOL.

Big thanks again to @alpydk who started off this series with what was supposed to be a one-off angst story, and allowed me to write my own sequel chapters to finish the story my own way. (Alphydk's chapter 2 can be found here.) As my first long-form writing in over a decade, it's been a fun challenge to take two characters I love so much and get them out of a position I wouldn't have put them in in the first place. 💜

Without making you all endure any more of my "propensity towards verbosity," I present chapter 3: Tenacity (complete with hand-written letters!)

Summary: After agreeing to try to re-establish their friendship/relationship by writing letters back and forth, Tav and Gale set out on their journey of communicating, listening, and healing. You better believe they're both going to hold on for dear life.

Word Count: 8,289 (I'm not sorry.)

CW: References to depression, alcoholism

Tags: GalexTav, angst/fluff, pre-established (albeit rocky) relationship, future smut? (no spoilers...), brief mention of infertility (in a positive way??), depresso espresso, communication, healing, Tara's getting ALL the tuna.

[I'm sure I left some out, I'll come back and add to it once I get this on AO3 - coming soon!!]

Screenshot: Taken from my own gameplay. Please do not re-post as your own.

NOTE: For those who don't want to read Tav's mediocre (but improving) handwriting or Gale's flowy cursive, the text version is printed below each letter (including doodle descriptions!)

9/2 4:45PM Pacific - EDIT FOR MORE NOTES:

My underlines went away when I copy/pasta'd from GoogleDocs, and now I realize that you can't underline because of links, so they're bolded and italicized instead.

REGARDING BHAALSPAWN INFERTILITY - this is NOT canon to BG3/DnD/Forgotten Realms. I totally made this up to fit my literary needs. 😉

Alpydk's chapter 1: Consequences

Chapter 2: Acquiescence

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tav assessed herself before she even opened her eyes. Between the wine and the crying, she was probably the most dehydrated person in all of Faerûn. The pounding headache she was used to. She'd made blackout curtains for a reason, after all. But the soul-wrenching nausea, that was new.

Being blissfully infertile, she knew there was no risk of pregnancy. One of her permanent "gifts" as Bhaal's former Chosen was the ability to be as promiscuous as she pleased without fear of pregnancy in order to weasel her way into the hearts, minds, and pants of any of her previous victims. Not that she'd needed that ability since the Nautiloid, or especially her subsequent severing from said god. But this was no ordinary nausea anyway. It was coming from somewhere much more complex.

Among the growing list of sensations Tav noticed from her downward-facing zombie position on the couch, she found two long-lost friends: the physical feeling of being simultaneously sated but also achingly empty in her core, and...hope. Surprisingly enough, she realized it was the latter that brought on the nausea.

Crippling anxiety, overwhelming depression, stabbing guilt, these are feelings she was familiar with and knew how to handle: with denial and alcohol. Just ball it up and shove it in the "future ulcer" pocket by the stomach and cover it up with a bottle of wine or two.

Hope, on the other hand, is a fickle bitch. It introduces the possibility of a better future. The idea that things could get better. Then comes the uncertainty.

‘Desirable things in life are never guaranteed,’ she told herself. ‘You can always lose them. Don't get TOO comfortable! You might still have to live the rest of your life without the man you truly believe is your soulmate.’

Tav had NEVER believed in the idea of a ‘soulmate’ before. That was even more laughable than ‘love at first sight.’ But she’d come to believe it now.

‘And you fucked it up, didn't you? You let yourself have the worst lapse in judgment, then you doubled down on it by screaming and being a hurtful wretch. You did this. You did this and you don’t deserve forgiveness, you don’t deserve mercy. No one else will ever fill the hole in your heart, so you’re going to die alone and unloved. That’s what you deserve.’  

The words from the voice in her head kept playing on a loop for the last six months and they wouldn’t shut up. Drowning them out with wine and sleep had become her modus operandi. There’d been nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for. It was the way things were going to be, she’d accepted it. Especially in the last few months after Waterdeep. She couldn’t have her heart broken again if she didn’t expect anything.

But now, new words were taking up space in her brain. His words.

‘…there was a time that we’d also brought out the best in each other, once. I refuse to believe we can’t find our way back there again.’

‘Fuck.’ Those words had stolen her breath. Given her reason to think that there was a chance. That maybe he would give her the mercy she knew she didn’t deserve. Gale was just that kind of man.

If that were truly the case, though, why did he shut her out so quickly in the first place without getting to even talk about things. Why did he go straight to the biting comments and yelling instead of showing any kind of signs of forgiveness being a possibility.

‘Because you ripped out his heart that was already broken and threw it on the ground with all the remains of any self-confidence he had left after Mystra, you inconsiderate, unfaithful monster. It’s a wonder he’s still alive.’

These were the new conversations Tav now had running back and forth in her head and that’s where the source of the nausea was seated. In the unknown future where happiness still existed. Along the path that could go to life-long depression and loneliness or a blissful existence with the man who completed her, and she wouldn’t know which way she’d end up traveling until she got there. It was terrifying.

‘I refuse to believe we can’t find our way back there again.’

Face still mashed in the couch pillow, she balled up her fist and slammed it down into the cushion. Depression wasn’t going to win today. Or any other day, for that matter, at least not like it had been. She would not allow herself to be swept up in the waves of self-loathing and doubt to the point of being non-functional. Not anymore.

She took a deep breath and sat up, eyes still closed. There was a warmth on her face that she knew would be the late-morning sun coming in through the living room window. As she cracked her eyes open, she winced as the light seared into her brain and fired off pain signals. Slowly, she stood up, walked across the room, and felt around for the blackout curtains.

Medicine. Shower. Food. In that order.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Looking around the room later that day, Tav felt pretty proud of herself. Once she got herself cleaned, fed, and a bit more clear-headed, she opened the curtains again and opened all the windows. Her little depression hole needed a good airing out.

Starting with all the trash, she got rid of the wine bottles, the old food, even the bin filled with dirt and burned clothing. After washing off surfaces and sweeping floors, she put all the books back on the shelf, keeping a box full of scrolls and a quill pulled out on her desk. One sandwich and two sinks full of dishes later, it was nearing night time, but she had one more task ahead of her: the letter.

She’d been chewing over words in her head all day, but she still had no idea where to start. How do you even begin a letter like this? ‘Hi, Gale’? ‘Dear Gale,’? ‘Esteemed Professor Dekarios,’? If the greeting was this difficult, how would she even move on to the rest of the letter? She knew for damn sure that she wasn’t quite ready to be fully emotionally vulnerable, especially with him (even though he’s the only one she should ideally be emotionally vulnerable with…).

‘Welp, might as well just start,’ she said to herself as she sighed.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hi Gale,  [in the top right hand corner was a little swirly doodle with some flowers and leaves. Next to it was written ‘I don’t have fancy paper, so I tried to do something cute?]

I’m having trouble starting this letter, so I figured maybe just admitting that is as good of a place as any. I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what you want to hear, I don’t know what will help or what will just hurt… Here’s what I do know:

-          I’m sorry. [there are tear stains on the paper here]

-          There’s no excuse for what I did.

-          I don’t even know if I know the reason for what I did.

-          I don’t feel like I deserve your patience, your forgiveness, your mercy, anything, really. Your anger is totally justifiable.

-          I don’t know who I was that night or in the months following.

Except, I do. I’d reverted back to the person abomination I walked away from. The hateful, murderous, evil, wretched thing I said I’d never be again. Yet, I can’t claim that I wasn’t in my right mind at the time either. I never lost consciousness. I was aware of the decisions I was making. I just don’t understand why I made them in the first place, other than I’d lost hope. I’d stopped trusting you. I’d assumed you were going to leave me and go back to Mystra or pursue godhood where you’d no longer be…you. [Next to this is a small sketch of a broken heart.]

Here's what else I know:

-          You didn’t deserve that.

-          I don’t deserve you.

[Below this was another item that was heavily crossed out, but you can make out the words ‘I still’.]

(this letter is a mess, I’m sorry. I’m just…flustered)

[On the right side of the paper, there was a list of four items outlined in a rectangle, above which was written ‘Good things’ – a question mark had followed this, but it was crossed out with an X. The four items are:]

-          I took a shower today.

-          I cleaned my house for the first time in weeks today.

-          I’m going to stop drinking for a while.

-          I’m exhausted and I’m going to bed.

It’s not ‘the letter of a lifetime,’ but it’s a start. I hope you’re well and that your students aren’t giving you too much of a hassle. Can’t be as bad as slaying a whole camp of goblins, right? [Here there was a small doodle of a goblin head, X’s for eyes and tongue sticking out, laying in a pool of blood next to a sword.]

I look forward to hearing from you. Take care of yourself, please.

-Tav

P.S. I’m working on my handwriting. I’m sorry if any of this is illegible. Not really a subject that was covered in “Bhaalspawn University.”

[At the bottom of the letter was drawn a curvy vine with leaves, flowers, and flower buds.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gale swallowed thickly as he held the letter in his trembling hands.

‘She did it. She actually wrote, and it wasn’t full of anger and insults. It was a real, honest-to-the-gods attempt at talking.’

His eyes shimmered as he re-read two lines over and over again:

-          You didn’t deserve that.

-          I don’t deserve you.

His heart ached as he pondered the fact that she thought so little of herself. It made him remember his inner monologue after the debacle with Mystra and the orb. All Gale told himself for a year was that he’d made mistakes so huge that no one should have to ever bear the burden of his presence again. Anyone who showed any affection towards him, platonic or otherwise, was a fool who was wasting their time. They’d just end up being let down by this depressed shadow of a former Archmage. Knowing that Tav was the one now who truly felt she wasn’t deserving of forgiveness or mercy brought tears to his eyes.

He felt a bit lighter, however, at the implication that she even cared whether or not she was worthy of him. Not only cared, but was taking bolder steps forward. She’d apologized, she’d wished him well, she’s taking care of herself… Then it dawned on him that she’d gotten so low that a task as mundane as taking a shower was to be celebrated on a list of positive things.

Oh, did he remember that pit of despair well. He’d spent a year down at the bottom of it. Cut off from all outside contact, forgetting (or refusing) to eat, going days, even a week or more without bathing because he didn’t have anyone to see anyway. No point in expending the energy.

Now, however, Gale was at least teaching. That had kept him going. Even if he didn’t interact with many people outside of Blackstaff Academy, he was still getting dressed, going to a place with other people, and teaching Faerûn’s youth to harness and control the Weave.

But what of Tav? How often was she seeing others? It seems she had relocated after all. The return address is listed in Daggerford, a town not far south of Waterdeep full of retired adventurers, artisans, craftsmen, and farmers. A relatively quiet place compared to Baldur’s Gate, but still a city with plenty of opportunities. (And only a three-, maybe four-day travel from Gale. That would explain how easily she ended up in Waterdeep in the marketplace on that cold, rainy day…).

He remembered her telling everyone how much of a hero she’d been at the reunion party. What happened to her adventuring? Would she even be home enough for their letter-writing to be consistent? She’d made no mention of her activities, that was something he’d want to follow up on. As much as it would have previously brought him satisfaction to see her put in her place for everything she’d said, cut off from others and alone, now it just caused an ache in his chest.

The threads of his bitterness and rage had already begun unraveling. He’d been letting the truth sink in since the reunion: Tav had acted reckless and lashed out because she was scared. Scared of losing him. The thought of him abandoning her for Mystra or for godhood drove her to seek pleasure in someone else. Yet he hadn’t bothered to get to the root of the problem at the time. All he knew was that he had his heart broken. He had been betrayed. He had been ‘abandoned.’

He sighed heavily as the pangs of grief and remorse started to take hold. What a fool he’d been. A self-centered, arrogant, quick-tempered fool. But he shook those thoughts out of his head. This wasn’t the time to keep dwelling on what he had or hadn’t done in the past. Where the ball of anger had resided in his chest, just as roiling and hungry as the Netherese orb had been, he felt the tension had begun to break apart. There was still much healing to do, but now there was a little room for the patience and understanding he’d wished he’d displayed before.

He re-read the letter again, chuckling lightly at her doodles and scratches. Her handwriting had much improved, she gave herself too little credit. It was good to see she still had her silly sense of humor as well. She hadn’t been completely robbed of her beautiful qualities.

Draining the last sip of wine in his cup, he arose from his spot on the balcony and walked inside to sit at his desk. One thing nagged at him before he could start writing his response, though. Underneath the bottom list where she said she didn’t deserve him, she’d written something and then furiously scratched it out. He thought he might know what it said, but didn’t want to get carried away if he was wrong. Holding the letter carefully in front of the lit candle on his desk, he stared at the scratches, trying to piece together the words underneath. His breath caught when his eyes brought them together:

‘I still’

I still… Still what? I still hear the voice of the Dark Urge? I still won’t forgive you?

No. Given the context of what was said and the direction they were going, it had to mean only one thing. He would only allow himself to think it was one thing.

‘I still love you.’

Hoping with everything he had that it was true, he took another deep breath and pulled out a scroll from his desk drawer. It was his turn now.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear Tav, [In small writing to the right of the greeting, it says (my ‘fancy paper’ is at the academy) with a winking face doodle.]

Sometimes I think I’d prefer a good goblin massacre to a room full of hormonal teenage wizards learning to control a firebolt spell, but each day is a new adventure, after all! [After this sentence, Gale had doodled a flame, his head/hair with wisps of smoke, and in small writing with an arrow pointing to the drawings, (I tried).]

Thank you for your thoughts, and especially for your apology. I can’t in good conscience say that everything is forgotten, but I fully believe we are on the right path forward.

I would also like to apologize, because you deserve it. You are so much more deserving than you think you are of kindness, understanding and, yes, when I am able, forgiveness. I understand, likely better than anyone else you might know, how strongly self-loathing can take hold.

Which is why I want to tell you that I’m proud of you. I don’t know what you’ve been up to in recent months. I heard you telling the others about some adventuring opportunities, but I gather from your letter that self-care had gone by the wayside. I’m proud and happy to hear that you’re starting to focus on yourself. Yes, I agree with you: showering, cleaning, limiting alcohol intake, and even being tired enough to go to bed are all good things. I hope you continue being kind to yourself.

Admittedly, I’d fallen into a similar rut. While I get plenty of social interaction at the academy, my extra-curricular life has been…non-existent. I come home to my tower, I usually remember to eat, I grade papers, stay up entirely too late researching, and then attempt to get enough sleep to repeat that schedule ad nauseum. The cleanliness of my home, and myself, had been sorely neglected. But as you are focusing on self-improvement, I shall endeavor to do likewise.

Speaking of self-improvement, that’s where the letter-writing idea came from. Rather, through Tara’s efforts to help me during my year of isolation. She’d suggested I do some journalling to write out my thoughts and emotions regarding Mystra. Not only to get them to stop rolling around in my head, but to be able to articulate them. It did help, quite immeasurably, in fact. That’s why I’m so thankful you’ve agreed to this in the first place. I feel like it will serve us well. [A filled-in purple heart was drawn here.]

Actually, I can’t tell you how many letters I started writing to you in the last six months. I really did try. It just always felt…wrong, somehow. Like it wasn’t the right time, or my words weren’t sincere, or they’d fall on deaf ears. But I’m so glad we’re ‘talking’ now. I’ve missed you, Tav… [A filled-in but broken purple heart was drawn here.]

Tell me what you’ve been up to! Tell me your thoughts. Tell me any and everything you want to. I’ll be waiting to take it all in.

Yours,

Gale

[To the left on the bottom, Gale had drawn an open book with an ink pot and a quill. In the middle on the bottom, Tara had been drawn, wings outstretched, lying down, eyes closed, with a small note: (Tara’s sleeping on my desk and she’s adorable!). On the right under his signature, Gale drew a wand with sparkling stars and a curved line of weave making a flourish.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dear Gale – [Here, she had drawn a wand with stars similar to the one he’d put by his name in his letter]

Thank you for saying that you’ve wanted to talk this whole time. That makes me feel so much better. I never put quill to parchment, but I started countless letters in my head. Like you said, it just never felt right. [After this, Tav drew a scroll, an ink pot, and a quill.]

This does feel like the right path at the right time, but to be honest, Gale…I’m scared. I’m scared to put everything on the table again. With how much I got we got hurt last time we allowed ourselves to be vulnerable with each other, I can’t go through that again. Nor do I want you to go through it again. [Tav had drawn two filled in broken hearts after this paragraph.]

It humbles me to think you feel I’m deserving of good things. Truly. I don’t feel like I am, so I suppose it’s good that someone in this world does. Your encouragement in taking care of myself is unexpected, but ultimately not surprising. That’s just who you are. I’m thankful to hear that you’re taking it upon yourself to improve as well. [Here, Tav had drawn some grapes and cheese on a plate, and to the right of it, a broom and dust pan.]

I fully understand, however, that you can’t forgive me, at least not yet. (I wouldn’t forgive me either.) Hopefully I can begin to earn it over time. I’m not going to sit here and defend my actions with trying to find solace in Mizora’s…experience. It wasn’t even fulfilling, if it makes you feel any better. (It won’t, I know you). It was just tricks of the mind and a devil’s words of promises for things I didn’t even desire. (Perhaps the ‘old me’ would have.) I regretted it immediately, yet it has marked me forever.

But I know that how it left me afterwards is not the point. The point is why I let myself go along with it in the first place. I’ve done a lot of thinking in the last months, especially since the reunion. Let me preface this by saying that I am not shifting the blame. I still made the decision to give in. However, after days and weeks of your near-obsession with the Crown of Karsus, I could see that look in your eyes. You couldn’t stop thinking about the power it could offer. Power that we know all too well would only corrupt you and change you. Then, your meeting with Mystra, introducing her back into your life with her deal to get rid of the orb for the crown… I could feel you slipping away from me.

[On the left side by the words Crown of Karsus, Tav had drawn the crown with a big ‘X’ through it. Near where Mystra is mentioned, she drew a scared ‘Mystra,’ identified as ‘witch bitch,’ being threatened by Tav with a dagger.’]

What I should have done was keep talking to you, seeking reassurance. I should have spat in Mizora’s face and told her to get the fuck out. [In this area, Tav drew herself spitting in Mizora’s face.] I should have sought solace in your embrace, in your words, in your love… But one thing I need you to understand: I was brought up my whole life to be let down. Every success came with a defeat. Every win came with a loss. Every gift came with a sacrifice. You were the most important gift I will ever have in this world or the next. I was positive I was going to lose it, so…I don’t know. I think maybe I wanted to push it from myself first before it was taken outside of my control? Mizora approaching me with her “offer”… She knew exactly what she was doing: giving me an “out” that she knew I would take because I was at my most vulnerable.

For all my accolades being a “Hero of Baldur’s Gate” and savior to many, I clearly didn’t have the strength to stand up to her temptations. I let her use the fact that I have major trust issues to weasel her way into my deepest fears and exploit them. I didn’t have a chance. It doesn’t excuse my actions, but I hope it at least explains them.

I’m running out of parchment. You asked what I’ve been up to. If it’s of any comfort, things are going well enough. I’m eating mostly regularly, I’m keeping up with the chores, and I’m even starting to finally organize some garden space in the yard. I’m trying to spend some time outside every day, and I’ve replaced the wine with various teas. They’re small steps, but they’re steps.

I don’t know if I’ve gotten us closer to any kind of resolution, but hopefully my words can fill in some of the gaps. I look forward to hearing your response.

Thank you, by the way, for giving me something to look forward to again.

I’ve missed you too. Very much so.

Humbly yours,

Tav

[At the bottom left of the page, she drew a cup of tea]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Dearest Tav, [to the right of the greeting, it says in smaller writing (I apologize for the condition of this letter. It was rather difficult to write.) The letter is littered with smudges where tears had fallen and letter had been re-written over them.]

As I wrote my last letter and have been pondering your response, it weighs on me just how grave a mistake I also made. The blame for our downfall does not fully rest with you. (Let me finish…)

Feeling like you’re not worthy, like you made too big of a mistake to recover from; you know how familiar I am with those thoughts. Looking back, this means I should have been the one who was there for you the most. Yet I wasn’t. I was the furthest one away.

I agree with you that my anger was justified. I’d felt like I’d been told I wasn’t enough for you, which is exactly what I feared from the beginning. In my mind, you had openly told the entire world that Gale Dekarios, fallen Archmage of Waterdeep, scorned by Mystra herself, could not, in fact, make you or anyone else happy. You had to go find your pleasure elsewhere.

Where my mistake lies is in never stopping to think how much you had to have been hurting in order to find solace in Mizora in the first place. I don’t think I even gave you the chance to confirm you hadn’t been possessed, quite frankly. It’s no wonder your defenses went up immediately. My reaction, while potentially understandable, was absolutely awful.

I am so sorry that I never gave you a chance to talk things through before letting my hurt and rage take over. What I should have done was walk away and screamed into the void instead of at you before hearing any kind of explanation. I suppose I figured there would never be one good enough. Never did I think until recently that I could have possibly had something to do with you feeling pushed in that direction. I should have been more reassuring. I should have given you no reason to doubt my love for you and my dedication to you.

The possibilities that came with the crown had taken over my waking thoughts, and even infiltrated my dreams. Providing an eternal life without conflicts for both you and I sounded like the perfect solution, and I became hyper-focused. You had tried telling me that you were scared, that you didn’t want me to lose my humanity. I just still thought I was smarter and had this whole grand plan all figured out and you would realize it eventually.

[Before the next paragraph is drawn an infinity symbol, a heart nestled into the loops on either side.]

But I didn’t do enough to put your mind at ease. I didn’t help you understand that I wouldn’t have actually left had it come down to choosing between you and the crown. I never, never would have left you, Tav. As I shouted rather rudely before, I only ever truly wanted you. I assumed you knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt, so I didn’t spend any time reinforcing it. I let my focus drift too far. Then, I left you scared and alone afterwards with no chance to explain. I, the ex-Chosen and ex-lover of a goddess, from whom he should have learned humility after his hubris, the man to whom you showed so much kindness and understanding and support when anyone else would have run in the other direction, I couldn’t even show a fraction of that back to you.

Taviela, my heart, I am so, so incredibly sorry that I wasn’t there for you. When you pulled me from that portal and later heard my harrowing tale of foolishness and desperation, you stood by me. You took care of me and encouraged me, and I threw that back in your face at the first opportunity. It will be a long time before I can forgive myself for that. But I humbly, honestly, and hopefully ask if you could ever forgive me. I understand if you cannot, but know that I will spend the rest of my life proving myself to you.

Please keep telling me your thoughts, Tav. I want to hear them. I need to hear them.

Repentantly yours,

Gale

P.S. I’m far too emotional at the moment to do many little doodles, but yours warm my heart. Please keep doing them. [A filled in heart was drawn here. He had also drawn a simple version of the wand and stars under his name.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My Dearest Gale, [Across the top of the page was a wand, a wavy line of weave, and small stars.]

I’ve been staring at this parchment for at least an hour, but I haven’t been able to write anything until now. I’m sobbing at your words. Your insight about everything I put you through, the weight of what happened after all your hurts and insecurities from Mystra and the orb, the fear of being inadequate to me… That weight is almost too much to bear. I’ve berated myself for months now for hurting you, but the full impact never hit me until I read it in your words. I want to fall on my knees and cry at your feet and beg for mercy. But how could you possibly ever forgive me? I’m sorrier than you will ever know for allowing you causing you to feel that way again.

Also, to think that you are taking any of this upon yourself so strongly, I really don’t know what to say about that either. I still feel like this is all due to my deficiencies. My weaknesses. My fuck-ups. But I can understand where you’re coming from, wanting to take some responsibility. All I’ll say is that there is nothing to forgive anymore. I hold no more ill will towards you. We both acted like children throwing tantrums, but we were each already pushed to our limits and didn’t stop to think about, well, anything, really.  [Tav had drawn 5 filled in hearts here, along with writing (I don’t know what else to doodle here because I’m also emotional).]

It feels cheap to keep coming back to my upbringing, but it’s an unfortunate reality where I’m concerned. Everything was always a bitter fight of either words or daggers. There was no real “communication” to speak of. There were no “feelings” shared. It was all cruel lessons with harsh punishments. ‘Be a bitch, or get walked over’ was something I told myself a lot. I never truly learned to stop and step back and give things time to breathe. Putting myself in another person’s shoes is something I’ve forced myself to learn, especially during our adventures.

I have a confession to make. When I (literally) ran into you in Waterdeep a few months ago, it wasn’t just happenstance. I’d come there with a purpose. The downward spiral had begun weeks prior and I was nearing rock bottom. I came to look for you. To see if you were possibly even half as miserable as I was without you. I was certain you would be, and that it would give me a reason to approach you. We would be on common ground and might actually be able to talk. [On the right side of the page, Tav had drawn an open book sitting in a puddle of water in the rain. On the pages of the book it said ‘I’m sorry about the books.’]

But then I saw you. You were in the marketplace, smiling, making small talk with the merchants, even laughing with them. You looked full of life. You looked like you were doing just fine – without me. My heart dropped into my shoes and I’d considered just walking away, never letting you see I was even there. But something in me snapped. I apparently just had to get in a couple more digs before I walked away forever. That was childish and unacceptable and I’m sorry I put you in that position. (I don’t blame you one bit for the Hold Person spell, for the record. I deserved it.) [Tav had drawn the symbol for the Hold Person spell here, along with Tav approves.]

Please forgive me, but I’m emotionally spent. I think I’ll wrap this up to send in the morning, go sit on the back porch with a cup of tea, and just think for a while.

Still yours,

Tav

[Along the left side of the bottom of the page, Tav drew a small flower garden. On the right side, a cup of tea.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My Darling Taviela, [On the right side of the top of the page was carefully drawn an eternity symbol. Inside each side was a heart – a G written in the one on the left, a T written in the one on the right. Next to it, Gale wrote:] (I’ve been doodling this a lot lately.)

My heart aches for you, for us both. You’re right. There’s nothing to forgive anymore. We were both stretched so far beyond our limits, no wonder we broke down. We both have acted out of turn, we both have put ourselves through the wringer, and we both built impossibly high walls around ourselves. I’m happy to say that I believe we can push those walls down now. I want to move forward in whatever way we can, even if that ends up being as friends (though judging by your comments, it doesn’t sound like that will be the case, but please correct me if I’m reading the situation incorrectly).

I have a confession for you, in light of your revelations regarding our “run-in” in the marketplace. It was all an act to save face out in public. The laughter, the ‘life’ you say you saw in me, the light-hearted interactions – they were all a façade. I was miserable without you, however angry I was. After that interaction, it got even worse. I felt awful immediately, leaving you standing there shivering in the rain. [Gale had drawn a hand getting smacked by a ruler with words in a bubble outlined in sharp angles: BAD WIZARD!] I couldn’t believe that, even though there was some provocation, that I’d still reverted to such a childish response. I sank further into my depressive state. I almost didn’t come to the reunion with our companions either, actually. It felt like more of an effort to get myself put together than I was capable of. Fortunately, Tara snapped me out of it.

Speaking of Tara, I’ve been working on getting her to be more understanding. I’m sure you have noticed that her protectiveness of me overrides any kind of empathetic nature towards anyone who has caused me even a lick of hurt. But she’s come a long way in understanding both sides of our…predicament. I’ll keep at it, for both of our sakes. [A trail of small paw prints was drawn after this.]

I’m pleased to say that I’ve been keeping up with the cleaning, [on the right side of the page, Gale doodled a robed hand holding a sparking wand next to two balls of dust that look like rabbits. Underneath was written, (dust bunnies).] I feel like I finally have a handle on my students and my lesson-planning, and I’ve found joy in cooking meals again. Too much time is being spent grading sub-par assignments in the evenings, I’ll admit, but it comes with the territory. My heart has been all the lighter in the last couple of weeks, and it’s all thanks to you: your words, your patience, and willingness to work on…well, us.

What have you been up to lately? Any more adventuring opportunities coming your way? Are you doing any traveling? I wonder if there’s any chance our paths might cross in the near future.

I’ll admit, my mind has been wandering to thoughts of seeing you again. I miss the warmth of your embrace, the sparkle in your smile, the feeling of home when I look into your eyes – I feel like a part of me has been missing since our falling out.

I was actually thinking… What would you say to coming back to Waterdeep for a proper visit?

Take care of yourself, my darling [a filled-in heart was drawn here]

Gale (no fancy drawing in my name this time. Just me, missing you.) [above this, Gale had drawn a side profile of himself from the chest up, looking down, eyes closed, a tear falling from his eye.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The letters had been going back and forth at a regular, weekly pace. It was about six weeks after the reunion, which already seemed like forever ago. They had come so far, and his words made her realize that she missed him more than she knew was possible.

However, when Tav saw the last question in Gale’s letter, she froze. Her chest tightened and her breath quickened. She got dizzy, her hands shook, and her mind raced, tears threatening to overflow onto her cheeks. She was having a panic attack.

She threw the letter in her top desk drawer, slammed it shut, ran down the hall, and pulled the lever for her shower without bothering to warm the water first. Fully clothed, she stood underneath the cold deluge until her breathing slowed and she could process her thoughts.

The nausea was back. She sat on the floor on a towel and just let the water drip off her. Tucking her knees up to her chin, she stared at the wall and focused on her breathing. She wanted nothing more than for Gale to walk in the room right now, pick her up, and hold her in his lap, caressing her hair and whispering comforting words to her until she felt better. But as much as she wanted to feel his arms around her, to smell his scent, to run her fingers through his hair and more, she was absolutely terrified.

All she could think of as she started rocking back and forth was that she was going to end up hurting him again. She cried and cried until she resigned herself to lying down on the floor and crying herself to sleep, shivering in her damp clothes.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

A week went by and there was no response from Tav. Gale tried to brush it off, attempting to convince himself that perhaps she had gotten a chance to do some traveling, and was running behind sending her letter.

Nine days went by and his resolve started to falter. He replayed every word in his head that he’d written in his last letter. Was he moving ahead too fast? Did he assume too much? Did he push her too far? He ached to see her, to hear her voice, and to comfort her. But he could NOT let himself fuck things up again…

On the tenth day, he sent just a short message in hurried writing, requested for the utmost urgent delivery.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tav,

I’m truly, deeply sorry if I’m pushing you too far. You don’t have to answer the last question. We can continue just writing if that’s what makes you comfortable. I’ll do whatever you need, but I cannot, I will not lose you again.

Please, talk to me, my love.

Gale [A filled in heart was drawn after his name.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sleep never found him that night. He let his brain run through every worst-case scenario it could come up with. Tears were still crawling down his face every so often as he saw the faintest colors of the dawn coming to greet the eleventh day. Thank the gods he had the next couple of days off for Midsummer…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

On the afternoon of the twelfth day, Tav’s response arrived. Gale didn’t even go back inside or shut the door. He ripped open the envelope and tried to steady his breathing as his shaky hands held her letter. He let himself take a deep breath and fall back against his door frame as he read:

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My precious Gale,

I am so very sorry for the delayed response and for making you worry. I don’t know what came over me, but when I saw you asking to see each other again…I panicked. I had a full-on panic attack, after which, I slept for days. I lost all track of what day it was or how much time had gone by. I kept picking up my quill and the words just wouldn’t come. I’m so sorry. Your words in the message I received today snapped me back out of it. Thank you for checking on me. [A filled-in heart was drawn here.]

Gale, I can’t bear the thought of hurting you again. I’m not saying that I don’t want to see you. Believe me, nothing would make me happier. My dreams of getting to be near you, to hold you again, to be held by you, they are my greatest source of comfort. But we haven’t spent any time together in person since the reunion, and we spent months before that acting like completely different people.

What if we can’t change, Gale? What if seeing each other brings out all the anger and spite again? I can’t forgive myself, even if you have. I don’t know what to say – I can’t lose you again either, I won’t survive it. And I fear that I will become upset by something and fall back into my old ways of dealing with arguments: with juvenile pettiness and venomous words. I’m so scared…

In fact, I’m going to deflect now so I don’t dissolve into another panic attack.

To answer your other questions – honestly, adventuring hasn’t happened in a while. I was being truthful at the reunion when I said I’d been adventuring and helping people. But coming back from Waterdeep is when I started to shut everyone out. My house descended into chaotic messes that I didn’t have the energy to clean, I stopped eating regularly, I was drinking at least a bottle of wine a day, and I slept all the time. I have enough money set aside that I can get away with not working for quite a while, but that won’t last forever.

The gardening is going well now though! I haven’t killed so much as a tomato plant! I’m growing flowers and selling bundles here and there. I’m also growing my own vegetables and some fruits, though I haven’t begun selling those yet. I’m getting the itch to start baking, however… I’ve found a great deal of fulfillment in creating (growing) some kind of life now instead of dwelling on the memories of taking it. [Along the left side of the page, she drew a tomato plant crawling up the side. Along the right, she drew a plate of danishes and a cup of tea.]

I’m so sorry again for worrying you. I just froze because I don’t want you to get hurt. I’ll get this sent to you as quickly as I can, but please tell me your thoughts. I’m hoping your insight can be of some comfort.

With all my heart,

Your Tav

[At the bottom of the letter, Tav drew the same symbol Gale had been doodling on everything he could: the eternity symbol with the hearts in the middle, one with a G, one with a T. Next to it, she wrote:] (I tried… Yours looks much nicer.)

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

My sweet Taviela, [Their infinity symbol with hearts and their initials was on the top right.]

Thank you for explaining the reason for the delay. I completely understand, and I’m sorry to have caused you to panic. If I may offer some encouragement, however, perhaps I can help quiet your heart.

Neither of us are under anywhere near the amount of pressure and stress that we were at the time back in Baldur’s Gate. We are taking care of ourselves now as individuals, fully independent of others, and neither is a crutch for the other. This bodes well for quelling any fears of being too dependent on each other for our own good.

We’ve seen what damage can be done by careless words and actions, and we’ve walked back from that ledge – together. Now we’ll be more aware of the warning signs should we become frustrated with each other again. We’ve talked about what we can do to avoid arguments in the future, like walking away for a breather, should we need to. Lest you have any unrealistic expectations, please remember that we will become frustrated with each other and we will likely have some arguments. That’s only natural for any two beings that have a close relationship. But we have some experience now and wisdom gained. I truly believe that we can be better for each other. We can change. Together. [A filled in heart is drawn here along the left side of the page.]

If you are comfortable thinking about the possibility of visiting, I have a proposition for you. Some simple guidelines that will help keep us in check as we try spending time together again, under completely different circumstances.

-          I will get you set up in a lovely room at The Yawning Portal for one week. The bartender owes me a favor for clearing out some riffraff a few weeks ago. Then you can have a place you feel comfortable retreating to without feeling trapped in my tower, should you wish to get some space.

-          So as to not put too much pressure on either of us too quickly, we can have a date each day, but we don’t spend the entire day together (at least not every day). It may be midsummer, but I still have regular responsibilities with the academy that I need to see to. Besides, that will give us time to individually reflect on our time together and how we’re feeling.

-          At the end of the week, we can talk about how things have gone and what direction we should go at that point. We won’t pressure each other, and we’ll agree that we won’t be disappointed if one person needs more time than the other. Above all, we need to make sure our friendship stays in tact.

So, what do you say? Look! I even got Tara’s stamp of approval! [On the side of the page is an ink pawprint.] (Do you have any idea how much convincing it took to get her to put her paw in ink? I owe her tuna for weeks…)

I won’t pressure you, but if you’re amenable to this plan, we can do this as soon as you’d like – even next week. Having said all that, if you still want to take things slower and keep writing letters for now, I will fully support that decision and be delighted to keep doing so.

If you will allow me, however, I would like to make one last plea: I want to see you, Taviela. I need to see you. My heart aches for you and my arms feel so painfully empty without you in them. I long to curl my fingers into your hair, to hear your contended sighs, to be lit up inside by your laughter, and, when you’re ready, to make love to you and cover you in affectionate, healing kisses until every hurtful word we’ve ever exchanged is erased from memory itself.

I know you’re scared, my darling. But I believe in us. I believe things will be different this time around. I hope and pray to every god and goddess who will listen that you can find it in your heart to take the risk.

Come here to me, my love, and we can keep walking our way forward - together. [A filled in heart is drawn here.]

I eagerly await your reply, whatever it may be.

Yours always,

Gale [A doodle of a wand surrounded by stars is by his name.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tav’s hands trembled. Gods, she missed him so much it physically hurt. Especially now that she knew how much he was missing her as well. Sitting at her desk, she re-read his last full paragraph with tears flooding her vision and heart filling her chest, not to mention a familiar heat between her thighs. She knew at that moment that her desire and her renewed trust in Gale Dekarios FINALLY outweighed her fears. She didn’t even need to think about her response. It was short and sweet:   

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Gale, my love, [Their eternity/hearts/initials symbol was drawn on the top right.]

I’ll set out tomorrow by horse from Daggerford and will arrive at the Yawning Portal on Sunday evening around dinner time. I sincerely hope your arms will be waiting for me, because I’ll be rushing into them the moment I see you. [A filled-in heart was drawn in.]

Just don’t be holding a stack of books this time… [ Tav had drawn a doodle of a winking face here.]

Yours always,

Tav

P.S. I doubt we’ll be waiting long for those healing kisses… I know we’re going to space out our time together, but stay with me the first night? Help me “settle in” to Waterdeep? [Tav sketched a set of lip prints in the bottom right.]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tears fell from Gale’s eyes, but happy ones this time. He could tell his cheeks were flushed too from her “P.S.”… He laughed at her jab about the books, then folded up the letter and brought it to his lips, kissing the edge she would have folded with her soft hands.

He had planning to do. 

[reggies-eyeliner]

HEY THERE BEAUTIFUL (with the intention of info-dumping my sorvus analysis of Changing of the Guard)

OKAY PERHAPS I AM READING TOO MUCH INTO THIS FUNKY SHORT STORY, but nonetheless I'm going to talk about this!!

It's clear that Corvus serves as an amazing member and a potential father figure for Ezran. He's stuck by them and he's served the king from the very start, so it's pretty obvious that Ezran would have to trust Corvus.

BUT BUT BUT Soren, who suggested Corvus to be a part of the crown guard, most likely sprinkled this in-- because Corvus already knows that Ezran trusts him. Why would Soren tell Corvus something he already knows?

If Soren is using Ezran to be the main focus of the reason why he wants Corvus to be a part of the crown guard-- and is basically using Ezran as an excuse to do so-- at the end of the day, it's just Soren who wants Corvus to join himself. Even though Ezran does trust Corvus, that's not the main focus to why Soren asked Corvus to join.

SO ON THESE STANDARDS, if in this circumstance Soren is using "Prince Ezran" as a cover-up, he's basically saying,

"I really like you. I trust you. And trust is really important, especially now, with... everything. So--"

Whether or not this is interpreted as romantic or platonic, it's made clear that Soren truly trusts Corvus either way which AUDHIDFHDKDJJSJD???<333

"And trust is really important, especially now,"

AWUDHFGRHDHEJCHJDHCKSHCKSBFKDDISHDKSHDKSBDJDHSKHDEKHDJDD

HE LEFT THE "BECAUSE MY FATHER AND SISTER, THE PEOPLE I TRUSTED MOST BETRAYED ME" UNSAID

Soren in this time is probably in the starting stages of recovering from everything that happened in The Final Battle. His trust in Corvus is a sign that he's still willing to let his guard down because he genuinely thinks Corvus is a good man.

AND AND AND

First of all ADHD Soren is so real

SECONDLY the way Corvus has already picked up Soren's body language and mannerisms when he's going through something is something so!!! AIAUCSCBJSH

LOOK AT HOW EXCITED SOREN IS at just hearing Corvus say something he likes . Are you KIDDING ME THEY'RE SO REAL

give me a second . i need to sit down for this one

Soren's been through some of the most terrible things in such a short amount of time. He had to find out his father was a villain on his own, he lost someone that he revolved his aspirations around, he had to be the one to initiate the goodbye with his sister, he lost everyone in his family, and yet HE STILL tries to smile

And Corvus is the first person post!s3 to notice this. Despite their reluctance to get along in previous seasons, Corvus, an analyzing, independent, head-strong man cares a lot about Soren. Even if he doesn't realize it, that care is still there, and that is so genuine-- and that leads Soren into deciding to trust Corvus.

IN PREVIOUS SEASONS most of his jokes were dismissed by people who weren't Claudia a good 99 percent of the time.

BUT NOW BUT NOW Soren is literally casually beaming over the fact that Corvus asked "soup or salad," AND CORVUS SMILES TOO?? ARE YOU KIDDING ME THAT IS SO SWEET

LIKE WE HAVE YET TO SEE CORVUS SMILE AT SOMETHING LIKE THIS AND IT'S SO EARNEST

Soren's able to trust someone after losing it in the people he loved the most. Corvus is perceptive and able to tell that something is off at one glance. Soren makes Corvus feel wanted, and Corvus rolls along with it because he cares right back.

[korkiekenobiconfirmed]

Note to self: don’t be gay (or queer-coded) in Indiana.

No, seriously.

I want to start with Robin, the only confirmed queer character we have on the show (and that alone is a bullshit statement considering the broad cast of characters the show’s working with).

She was originally intended to get with Steve in the end of S3 but Joe and Maya, in a push for them to remain platonic rather than romantic, actually brought up the idea of her being gay. The coming out scene was a great way to bring Robin further into her own, making her more of a distinct character than she would have been as just another love interest for King Steve, but it was also an amazing way to show Steve’s development as a character.

Come S4, we met Vickie, and it looked like we’d finally get a queer relationship on-screen until this scene.

And was this scene really necessary? Was it? Why did we need to see Steve hyping Robin up only to have her hopes for Vickie liking her shattered in the middle of a fucking gun store?

While the end scene with them in the gym gave me some hope, it’s still nothing concrete. This following quote is from a Netflix article about Vickie and Robin:

A “glimmer of hope”? Seriously? Even the one character confirmed to be gay can’t have a happy, on-screen relationship, however minor it is to the plot. FOUR seasons in and we can’t get a single queer couple.

Which brings me to my next point...Will.

He’s been queer-coded since S1 and it’s only gotten worse as time went on. In school, all of the Party members were bullied for being weird and nerdy, but there were also more specific things the bullies would target each of them for; Dustin’s lisp, Lucas’ race, and Will’s sexuality. He’s called various gay slurs by classmates, Lonnie Beyers, etc.

Then S2, and “It’s not my fault you don’t even like girls!” They can try and play that off as Mike saying Will just never seems to have crushes, but the delivery of the line, the fear in Will’s eyes as Mike says it, tells a far different story.

S4.01 upped the ante by a huge amount. Yeah, there were littler moments like the Alan Turing hero project or the girl in Will’s class, but it was no longer about throwaway lines or middle school bullies. We, the audience, watched Will’s growing jealousy and resignation towards Mike and El. We saw the pain on Will’s face when Mike said “We’re friends! Just friends” with a little too much force.

It was hard to watch, but 4.02 left a chance for the Duffers to fix what they’d started… They did no such thing.

Right out the gate we got the scene where Will was giving Mike advice about “El”. Will spills his heart out all over the floor of that van without ever saying what he truly wants to say and what comes of it? Nothing.

This scene was heartbreaking. It was a punch to the gut. It was a huge, fat fuck you from the Duffers.

Because Will bared his pain and his love to Mike in the only way he thought he could get it all through to him and in the end it’s just a device to further Mike and El’s heterosexual relationship. Not only that, but the encouragement and love Will shows to Mike before the final battle is used to help El defeat Vecna.

And yet maybe I could have forgiven them for all that, maybe, if we could just get 100% concrete evidence that Will is gay. The scene before the freezer bath when Will and Jonathan were talking could have been the perfect moment. “I’m gay,” Will all but whispers into his shoulder, and Jonathan just wraps his arms around his brother even tighter because it’s the only way he can convey that he knows and he loves him and he’s so goddamn proud…

…But we can’t even get something as simple as that.

Queer pain being used to win a battle and advance the plot while seeing no fruition for the queer character himself is worse than having no rep at all.

I want to wrap this up with my last point, the Duffers’ final slap-in-the-face to queer audiences.

Sweet, sweet Eddie Munson.

The town pariah, the outcast, the freak. The godless Satan-worshipper who was corrupting the youth.

When I say Eddie was queer-coded, that’s what I mean. I don’t mean his metalhead style or the handkerchief in his back pocket. I mean he was a misunderstood loner who’d distanced himself from other students as a form of protection, who was being literally hunted for a crime he didn’t commit.

A young man who died a violent death trying to be a hero and save a town that had never wanted him.

And who do we see mourn him, in the end? Just Dustin, who held him as he died, and his uncle, who always advocated for his innocence. He died the kind of death millions of queer people suffered during that time thanks to AIDS: largely alone and hated by most of society, with only the few people who had known him best willing to try and carry on his memory.

[luveline]

a special friend, part two [Fred Weasley, George Weasley x reader]

tags: reader-insert, platonic relationships, friendship, can be read as romantic for either or both, hurt/comfort, mental health issues, implied/referenced self-harm, dissociation, quiet reader, shy reader, sad reader

relationships: fred weasley x reader, george weasley x reader

wordcount: 3.2k

read part one here

The common room was always so clean. The house-elves must work themselves half to death with effort, as you never saw a hair or speck of dust where there ought not to be one. The small refreshment table filled and refilled through every new day and the fireplace was always roaring on cold winter nights. It was especially cold that evening, and so the members of Gryffindor house benefited from a crackling fire and hot chocolate coming out of the ears.

You basked in the warmth of the flame, sitting cross-legged before it. A cup of hot chocolate cooled in between your hands, which were both laden with bandaids and germolene. Fred and George’s orders, of course. You were not to scratch, bite or mess in any detrimental way with your hands, arms or skin. If you did, you were to report to them for immediate bandaging.

At first, they’d simply been spelling each wound away. This had an opposite effect, as the freshly healed skin was perfect for picking whenever your mood turned - which was often. You found yourself blinded and basked in the light of being cared for by others, and although you may have preferred complete autonomy over your own body, you couldn’t say you minded the attentiveness of the twins. They’d made it their personal mission to prevent any self-harm, accidental or purposeful. You weren’t sure you even knew the difference half the time.

A quiet had settled over the room. It seemed as though each red and gold student was content to breathe in the smell of chestnut and pine in peaceful, companionable silence. You found yourself smiling kindly at each person who looked your way. You couldn’t imagine having done that before you had become acquainted with the twins.

Acquainted was a word you used to protect yourself. Friendly was too confident, too firm. You sometimes dreamt of horror stories where you, confident and comfortable, admitted how much you cared for them. In these dreams, they laughed in your face. Poked fun at your hope.

Of course, Fred and George weren’t cruel. If they felt that way, they certainly wouldn’t rub it in your face or make you feel embarrassed about it. But some shame never went away, and you carried it like an ever-burning torch.

Despite the pleasant warmth of the room, chills racked your spine at the thought. You pushed it from your head, attempting to think of anything else. You traced a pattern through the braided strands of the rug you were lazing upon, first the flames of a bonfire towering ten feet tall, then a mirror of the powdered sugar landscape outside.

Two warm bodies settled in the carpet on either side of you. A long arm wrapped around your shoulders confidently. The floral scent of your perfume mingled with the strong scent of burning caramel and something woody, the signature fragrance of the Weasley twins.

George moved first, plonking a stuffed toy into your lap. He positioned the neck carefully so that the teddy bear was sat as comfortable as you were.

“For you,” said Fred.

“An early Christmas gift,” George added.

The bear was spotted unusually like some sort of hybrid creature. You wondered where they could possibly have acquired such an artefact.

“We saw him and thought of you,” they said together.

That was rich. And maybe correct. After all, it was a weird looking plushie and you weren’t exactly renowned for your normality. You didn’t say much, simply handing off your cold drink to George without so much as a sideways glance and brought the bear to your face. You grazed your nose against its brown stomach and inhaled, breathing in its clean scent.

Both twins were used to the general quietness that came with your presence and didn’t pressure any response. You knew you should’ve said thank you, or even smiled gratefully, but you just couldn’t make your mouth move the way you wanted. You placed your hand on each brothers leg and applied the barest amount of pressure, hoping it showed gratitude.

“Well, I’m starving.”

“I’m so glad you said so, my brother.”

“Yes, I’m craving something savory, Gred.”

“Something juicy, Forge.”

“Such as?”

You looked between them like a muggle attending a tennis match, back and forth and back and forth. They ran circles around you for their own enjoyment, you assumed, but maybe also to make you feel more included.

“Y/N, fancy a trek to the kitchens?”

Before you could say no, or yes, or make up your mind and decide what it was you wanted to do, your stomach growled. Fred grinned wickedly.

They ushered you out of the portrait hole and down the stairs without preamble, flanking your sides like bodyguards. You didn’t mind, taking time to smile at the castle ghosts and portraits as you went.

The twins shot each other looks when they thought you couldn’t see. One said, how do you think she is? Another said, I think she’s however you think she is. Both said, she seems okay today.

It would feel a little patronizing if it weren’t so foreign - to have people care about your well-being so deeply they made changes to their day to see you and went out of their way to make you feel good; you’d find it condescending if it wasn’t so delightful.

That is to say, you felt conflicted. Happy that somebody cared, ashamed that they also felt concerned. They worried over everything these days, what you ate and what classes you had and oh, ghostie, do you need help with that? Y/N, sweetheart, let me carry that for you, lest your arms grow too tired.

It was… nice. It was nice, even if it was painful. Sometimes, it reminded you why you didn’t allow yourself the pleasure of friendship in the first place.

You hummed to yourself. Making sound had become a little easier. You weren’t inclined to say a whole lot, but allowing yourself to be louder, to take up space, had come easier the longer you spent with them. Neither Fred nor George minded if you huffed after too many stairs or if you clicked gobstones together at the foot of their beds.

The song was one of those cheesy Christmas numbers you’d heard on the radio. It was warm and comforting, bringing tears to your eyes if you thought about it too much. George slipped into song with you easily, humming much more loudly and obnoxiously. Fred just grinned to himself, keeping dutiful watch of the corridors.

You bubbled like a shaken can of coke by the time you arrived at the painting that enclosed the kitchen doorway, feeling too happy for your own good. Despite feeling very hungry, not a lick of fatigue or unhappiness tinged your mood, though the fuzzy numbness of every day threatened your well-being if you stopped to think too long.

The door swung open obediently after your half-hearted tickle insisted upon by the boys.

“What do you feel like, Y/N, sweet or savoury? There’s bound to be something you’ll fancy,” George said.

You held in a grimace. There were lots of things you wanted to try, the kitchens smelled like so many amazing things. The cloying smells of jam and treacle and custard, the hearty scents of gravy and roast dinner. It was too bad, then, that most everything you ate tasted stale. For years, your tastebuds had been slacking. During your worst days, food held no taste at all, resulting in your decreased appetite.

A tingling began in your fingers. You didn’t know what to say, or how to say it, how to convey that you didn’t really feel up to anything at all. You knew they would protest as they always did when you didn’t eat.

“Bread,” you managed. Bread was a safe choice. Dense enough to feel filling, easy to keep down, and bland to begin with.

Both boys were frowning but trying not to at your choice.

George moved forward, catching the attention of a harrowed looking house elf. They conversed with familiarity and soon you were being beckoned to a table that was relatively clear. Within minutes you were surrounded by bread, crusty rolls and sliced sourdough.

George casually nudged a bowl of tomato soup in your direction.

The surface shined with grease. It even had a swirl of cream and a sprig of basil afloat.

He looked at you, eyes pleading.

“You too,” you said.

This appeased him. The boys sat across from you with their own bowls, eating in the horrific way that teenage boys do. By the time they’d finished, you’d managed half of your own meal and two slices of bread. The nausea you experienced from just existing was starting to build, accompanied by the disappointment of your bland meal. You’d hoped an improved mood would help your appetite, but you still felt unsatisfied.

The boys grabbed a passing plate of tarts and ice cream.

Your good mood was wearing thin. You bit down on the tip of your thumb and stared at the grain of the table.

You bit down harder.

“Hey. Hey! Don’t do that,” Fred said, reaching forward as if to grab your hand. You pushed it under the table.

George pushed the plate of confectionary closer to you. “Chew on one of these instead, hm?”

You took it all back - this was patronising. Lovely and thoughtful and very, excruciatingly patronising.

You didn’t want to say no, or push it away, or eat anything else or even laugh it off. You wanted to do nothing. You lay your head down on the table, closing your eyes. You caught a murmur or two between them, though you couldn’t make out the words with your ear pressed so hard against the wood and the other covered by your falling hair. The table was smooth and cool under your skin.

A chair scraped against the floor. Footsteps. A broad hand against your back.

“You’re like a steam train running out of coal sometimes.”

You knew he was hoping for a response, a joke, a sign you’d been cheered up.

Through slow blinks, you could make out his face. Endlessly amused and a little sad, framed by the candlelight. He was beautiful, you thought absently. They were both beautiful.

“You okay?” he said quietly.

“Mm,”

“Mm? Is mm a yes or a no?”

“Mm,”

“Alright,” he said, rubbing a soothing path up between your shoulder blades and down again. It would’ve been dizzying if you could think straight, it made the numbness a little woozy. You preened beneath his touch like a pleased cat, feeling the unhappiness melt just a little.

It was crazy how affection could make you feel better, even if it didn’t always solve the problem.

Embarrassed, you mumbled, “you’re going to kill me.”

Fred smiled. “How so?”

“You’re fattening me up like a lamb to slaughter.”

He didn’t quite laugh, huffing through his nose. He really was very handsome up close. His hair was curling at just below his ears, a lush auburn colour that complemented his pale, freckle adorned skin. His eyes were a heart-melting brown so that his pupils were lost. The look he gave you was searing like he knew exactly what you were thinking about him. Your ears were tinged with heat, cheeks filling with colour.

He retracted his hand.

“Wrap some of those up, Georgie. Ghostie needs her bed.”

“It shall be done, brother mine!”

You smiled despite yourself.

-

For your birthday, the twins had gifted you a simple necklace. The chain was silver, reaching to just below your collar bone. It had no charm or jewel. It was perfect.

It helped you sometimes when you felt out of it to run it between two fingers or tug it gently from left to right, feeling the chain links rolling behind your neck.

You’d tried that, among every other coping mechanism drilled into your head by George and Fred over the past few weeks. You drew circles were you wanted to scratch, put plasters over fingertips you wanted to pick at. You took big breaths and did the stretches George insisted on. You even tried getting a full night’s sleep - nothing worked.

It filled you with guilt. You felt as though you were letting them both down by struggling.

You stared out the window of the dormitory at the sky, moonlight spilling onto your skin and staining your clothes a gauzy silver. You’d read once that sometimes when the planets were in rotation, you could see them as though they were as close as the moon.

This didn’t seem right to you. How could Mars seem so close? It was an optical illusion. The planets revolved around the sun, but humans had once thought they revolved around Earth instead.

It must’ve been a very strange experience to realise you weren’t as important as you thought. The Earth was just the Earth, spinning and wobbling its path through space.

You shook your head, feeling lost. It was ridiculous to project your feelings on the solar system. But still, you couldn’t help but feel like, despite its inhabitants and its systems, the Earth was so lonely.

Your necklace began to grow cold until it was almost like ice against your skin. One of the twins, or maybe both, had charmed it to change temperature. Cold usually meant, ‘Ghostie, you awake?’

You cringed against the sensation. Why couldn’t they booty call you like normal young men, throwing stones at your window with a boom box? Or, for merlin’s sake, an owl?

You grumbled to yourself, throwing the fleece blanket from your body. You were hardly dressed for company in knickers and a tank top, so you threw on a grey zip-up jacket and a pair of pyjama shorts that were hardly any better than the knickers. Luckily the jacket hung past the shorts. You wanted to care that you were dressed scantily, really, but the boys wouldn’t care and you didn’t have it in you to find something else.

You trekked down the stairs, your trainer socks slippery against the well-worn wood. Fred stretched languidly in front of the fireplace, a pack of exploding snap cards and a mountain of chocolate frogs beside him whilst George was sitting much more straight-backed on the sofa.

“I’m cold,” you said, announcing your arrival. The redheads turned to look at you over their shoulders. Fred rolled his eyes at you and flicked his wand. The necklace slowly heated until it was pleasantly warm against your collarbones.

You clambered over the back of the sofa with little grace, folding your knees underneath you and leaning heavily against George’s arm. He wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

“If I were a lesser man, I’d ask where your bottoms were, Y/L/N,” said Fred, shuffling the cards dexterously.

You raised your jacket wordlessly, exposing your bottoms.

“Wouldn’t you know, they were there the whole time.”

“You assumed the same as me, George.”

George didn’t reply, though his expression said he was similarly embarrassed.

“And do you always let girls you presume to be half-naked climb all over you?” you asked.

“So talkative,” George chastened.

“Don’t change the subject! I’m interested in the answer,” said Fred.

“Oh shove off! You insufferable tyrants.”

Ah, so he knows how it feels now, you thought. You looked up into his face, the line of his jaw.

You looked down at your legs, feeling fatigued. Smooth stretches of skin and fine hair interrupted only by thin white lines. The low light made them almost impossible to see. They shined like silver when you moved, caught by the light of a nearby candle. They felt a lifetime away now when a young you had used pins and quills and little carving knives to punish yourself for bad behaviour.

You traced a slightly thicker one with a pointed fingernail. You pushed it nastily into the scar, but it didn’t hurt.

You sighed.

Fred and George were half arguing about something you didn’t catch, Fred through a mouthful of chocolate.

It was hard, always being miserable. People often criticized the moody for ruining the mood, but it wasn’t as if you could choose how to be. You wanted to wake each day and be happy and entertaining and absurdly good-natured, like the twins. It was an abject cruelty, then, that every day you woke up and felt the immeasurable dread of continuing on another day. Not even magic could help you with that.

You rejected Fred’s offer to play, happy to sit and watch the boys play. You let yourself slide into the space George had vacated, curling into a tight ball. Your stomach hurt.

Godric, there was always something fucking wrong with you.

You were frustrated. The boys could tell. Their game of snap was stretched thin, and you knew it was your fault. You wrinkled your nose at the smell of singed hair, restless. You squirmed against the warm leather under your skin, feeling sticky and out of sorts.

You closed your eyes against the aching and slept.

You woke up crying.

Fred shifted in his sleep. He was leaning against your legs, his hair and face smushed into the leather beneath you. George was facedown in the carpet. You pressed a hand to your mouth to muffle any sound.

The clock on the wall read 4 minutes past 4 o’clock in the morning. You’d only managed an hour and a half of sleep.

You couldn’t remember what you’d been dreaming. Maybe somewhere familiar. Faces you recognized. It didn’t matter, only the feeling of being crushed by the air. You reached out without thinking, grabbing Fred’s shoulder.

He roused gracelessly, blinking through squinted eyes at you. A hard sob rocked you to the core, the feeling of breathlessness sinking deep into your chest.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurting?”

You couldn’t answer. You grasped for his arm, begging him to do something, to save you. You felt as though you were going to run out of air.

“Hey, you’re alright. You’re okay. Let’s breathe, should we? Breathe with me.” He grabbed the hand you’d pushed over your mouth and brought it to his chest. You could feel him take a huge inhale and you tried your best to replicate it.

“Good! That’s good. You’re doing so well.” Another big breath, a long exhale.

“You feel that? The leather under you.” He grabbed your free hand and put it on the seat. “Feels weird, huh? Dimples and wrinkles.” He dragged your hand over the texture repeatedly.

A big breath.

Eventually, your breathing returned. The crying stayed.

“Don’t cry, ghost.”

You frowned. It was odd to be looking down at Fred instead of up. He pressed your hand tighter to his chest.

“Bad dream?”

“Don’t remember,” you whispered.

“It was just a dream. You’re okay. I promise.”

George snored. Fred rolled his eyes. You laughed through the tears, blinking the last of them away.

“Go back to sleep. I’ll be here.”

You knew he was telling the truth.

[vesperpharsalius]

As for the pregnancy twist, the willful ignorance of some people in this fandom, especially on the subreddit, continues to astound me. I’ve seen multiple posts advocating for this theory; naturally, they are immediately slain, blasted into smithereens, but... somehow, that doesn’t discourage them? They keep posting! Although, thankfully, less so—they’ve relented.

Definitely don’t ever worry that your RR knowledge’s sub–par; there are people out here reading with their brains off, I swear. One of my friends was very confused reading IG, years back, because he’d forgotten about Darrow’s destruction of the Ganymede Docks and that Mustang became Sovereign. He’d just re–read MS.

As for Cassius x Lyria, I agree that there was potential for romance. Back when I was blissfully ignorant of LB’s ending, it seemed likely that their relationship would eventually become romantic, if they both lived. I doubted that Pierce would leave Cassius and Lyria unpaired—although, as far as I’m concerned, they were both perfectly fine that way. I’m all for combating amatonormativity; brotherly/sisterly love is love; again for the people in the back. But I agree that both time and healing was needed before a romantic twist could possibly be healthy.

Tbh, I was worried Pierce might jump the gun in LB, given how flirtatious their banter seemed, that he might get overexcited and pair them too early, which, I agree (for the reasons you listed above), would’ve been inappropriate and uncomfortable for me. But… obviously, my fears were unjustified.

Personally, I would’ve preferred their relationship stay platonic. I’m biased, of course, because I’m a Dassius Whore™️; it’s the crack–ship I live for, the hill I’ll die on, even now.

But, from my admittedly flawed perspective, Cassius and Lyria’s relationship felt very much mentee/mentor, with Lyria filling the void Lysander left in a wholesome way, because Cassius chose her, whereas Lysander was more of an obligation, and Lyria genuinely loved/respected him, in a wholehearted way Lysander couldn’t, because of his unforgiving nature and their terrible history. Cassius and Lyria’s friendship was sweet and redemptive; they were both ‘outsiders’ who persevered, overcame, and found acceptance in each other.

I also love your analysis, how you’ve drawn attention to their defensiveness/protectiveness of each other. I’ve never been the greatest fan of Lyria, but the way she defended Cassius against Sevro, especially, during their fight on the Archi and after the Obsidian encounter near Sungrave, was really heartwarming and endearing; I genuinely started liking her, rather than just appreciating her character or importance to the story. And that’s saying something, because I despised her in IG.

Growth—for us both, I’d say.

One of the things I love most about Cassius and Lyria's relationship in Light Bringer is how, yes, Cassius is protective of Lyria because she is younger and smaller and Cassius just can't help being a big brother, but Lyria is just as protective of him. Because she's a protector too. They are the same in that way.

[sitp-recs]

Hidden Gems by @cavendishbutterfly

Happy Wednesday with A+ comfort food! Cav has been an amazing addition to the fandom, and sometimes it even feels like they have been around for ages! I still remember the exciting joy of finding Bridges, which became an instant fave - I fell in love with its gorgeous Budapest aesthetics, the wistful atmosphere, the perfect and organic slow burn, the beautiful romance. My obsession was so immediate I started the rec before even finishing the fic! Since then I’ve been following Cav’s blog closely and checking every new work knowing it will be a special treat.

Putting this reclist together was lovely because I got to revisit all these fics again, and they’re the best snack-size romantic reads for those who love shorts like me! Cav has this unique way of making short fics feel both light and intimate, with just the right amount of delicate, chill and depth, and so very soft. They prove that shorts can be just as emotionally satisfying and completed stories as long ones, perfect to indulge when you just need a nice and easy get together. Enjoy!

In The Wings (2021, T, 1.6k) - such a soft and heartwarming established relationship, I couldn’t stop smiling! Ballet dancer Draco is the concept I didn’t know I needed, comforting and very aesthetique 😌

Ballet has been a path to healing for Draco after the war. Now, it's his final performance in the starring role, and his boyfriend is in the audience for the first time.

Just A Phone Call Away (2021, M, 4k) - pining!Harry + friends to lovers, sign me up! This is light and sweet and the intimacy of that hair washing scene is stuck in my head. Unspeakable Drarry and cooking lessons as a treat!

Today’s the day: Harry’s getting over his ridiculous crush on Draco Malfoy. Even if Draco’s just invited himself over to wash Harry’s hair. In a very platonic way, obviously. Not intimate at all.

Glowing (2022, T, 9.7k) - one of my favorite Fangfest fics this year, a lovely cottagecore h/c with trans man Veela! Draco and ace Vampire!Harry living together and falling in love. It’s about loneliness and understanding, and it’s soft, quiet and bittersweet in a very gentle way.

Harry's lived alone and vampiric in his cottage for ages, until a long-lived Draco Malfoy suddenly shows up to answer an advertisement Harry had practically forgotten he'd put in the Prophet. Cue soft blood drinking, quiet nights of reading and crocheting, and Harry thinking that maybe--just maybe--he might not be so alone anymore. Read my rec here.

Bridges (2021, E, 16k) - get ready to fall in love with both Drarry and Budapest in this immersive and quietly introspective co-workers to lovers that celebrates hope and grief in a beautiful, touching way. Perfect slow burn and get together. Cw: brief Harry/OC, mention of Holocaust, use of alcohol and weed

Harry and Draco are on a trip to Budapest to help with Kingsley's re-election, but that's the boring bit. More interesting: Harry Potter is changing his Tinder preferences to include men. Read my rec here.

The Ever-Changing Room (2022, E, 33k) - cool and intriguing case fic where Draco & Mione form a dream team to track Harry down. I love their camaraderie and the supporting cast is amazing too! NB fashionista Draco, safe houses, Euro trip, and a really interesting take on the Deathly Hallows plot point, so creative and engaging!

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter have been married for five years, and everything's grand—until Harry disappears one day without warning. He's left behind three letters and the whole of the Wixen World demanding to know where he's got to, including Draco. Unfortunately, Draco's not a very good detective. Hermione is, though. Or: Draco travels Europe looking for their ever-elusive husband.

[craftyalmondghostflap]

The Bubble Bet

Hi there! I just wrote my first fanfiction ever. I watched an episode of Brooklyn 99 today. Then a line stuck woth me and whilst bored at class I wondered how could I adapt this on the Pogues. And then I wrote this one shot. I hope you like it. Have fun reading!

Characters: Pogue!Reader, Reader x JJ Maybank (romantic/ best friends), Reader x Platonic!Pogues

Warnings: mentions of alcohol and weed, mention of hospitalisation, mention of medically prescripted drugs, mention of sexual activities (not smut though), not proof read

Other than that, it's just the pogues hanging out and having fun

Synopsis: after watching an episode of Brooklyn 99, JJ suggests making a bet amongst the pogues.

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, this story is a project of my imagination

......................................................

It started off as a day as normal as any other in the Outer Banks. A day of school classes ( some of which had been ditched by our beloved Pogues), then a lil surfing, and hard labour afterwards. After all was said and done, the crew gathered at their usual hangout spot, the Château. Recently, they had started watching Brooklyn 99. That night, all six of them were sprawled on John B's house, watching multiple episodes of the show, drinking beer and smoking weed.

At some point, they reached that one episode where the B99 squad was at that Cop Convention, out of town and the main characters had gotten really drunk, thus resulting to shenanigans. At one point, Jake (one of the MCs) mentions having drunk a bottle of shampoo ( and farting bubbles).

After that episode, none other than JJ Maybank proposed a bet. On said bet, the goal was NOT to drink shampoo. It was practically a battle of making the other Pogues drink shampoo, over an indefinite amount of time. The winner would be the person that managed not to drink any. They would be crowned on typical B99 fashion the "Amazing Human/ Genious" with a added NeverFartedBubbles in the title, all these words engraved in a faux golden cummerbund.

In their somewhat drunken elevated state, all of the Pogues agreed to the bet. They even wrote it down, terms, conditions and all. The following weekend the start of all dumbassery came.

In order to prevent poisoning, they found an edible baby shampoo with 100% edible ingredients. You know, to minimize the damage.

That first weekend, a kegger was thrown in the boneyard. John B, climbing atop of a rock announced "Ladies and gentlemen, let the games begin!". A collective laugh was released, and the game actuall begun.

Y/n managed to mix beer with shampoo. After a few failed tries of giving it to Sarah and Kie, she found her next potential target: JJ. JJ in the meantime, had managed to take Pope out of the game, never revealing how. Y/n actually managed to pass the cup to her boyfriend, getting him to drink it. He downed it all in one sip. The first thing he said was "Babe, what the hell was in that drink, tasted really weird". "YOU JUST DRUNK SHAMPOO", spoke the girl. "So sorry, babe, had to eliminate the competition. I'll make it up to you tonight, though. Love you byeee", she winked. JJ was surprised, but he still laughed his ass of.

After the kegger, they assembled back at John B's place. " Truce for tonight", they agreed. Pope had already created a board of all their names, of off which he crossed of his and JJ's.

Sarah

John B

Y/n

Kie

Pope

JJ

4 players were left.

The game, they decided, resumed every weekend. Not letting it interfere with everyday life.

"So, angel, you took me out first. What a betrayal! Thought you loved me..." spoke JJ as his girl was approaching his best, giving her a mock hurt / pouty expression. Running her fingers through his hair, and slowly kissing his neck, she murmured "Let me make it up to you then, sweet boy". And for the rest of the night it was just the two of them, intertwined. "All is forgiven, darling", whispered JJ seconds before the both drifted off to sleep.

In the following few weeks, Y/n managed to get Sarah to lose. And Kiara lost by John B.

Which meant one thing:

John B and Y/n were the two last in the running.

In order to "spice things up" they completely removed the only on weekends rule. They were about to go head to head, with everything they possessed, because they were both quite competitive. Anytime, anywhere they could surprise each other with a lovely drink of hair liquid soap.

Y/n had to win this.

Another rule that was added last minute was one stating that they could not receive any help from third parties and/ or ex players. So asking their partners, friends, and contacts was forbidden. It was just them two.

Suffice to say that the next few days were a nightmare for anyone surrounding the two of them. It was a mess. They didn't fight, but they got really sneaky. Showing up in random places, not daring to eat or drink anything while being in each others company. The Pogues got fed up at some point, and rightfully so. That duo had become really annoying. That's why, Kiara staged an intervention.

"Listen up you idiots! Due to your being so effing annoying, we decided to give you this Saturday to finish this stupid bet."

"No more sneaking around and sabotaging each other.", Added Sarah.

" Take these two days to plan your strategies" spoke Pope.

Then JJ was like " Saturday Endgame. Winner takes all. Loser is just a sore loser. Good luck!"

SATURDAY

After spending those last few days carefully planning, and plotting her victory, Saturday had finally arrived. All seemed to be going as should, until Y/n heard a knock on her door. It was her cousin Amy, coming for a totally unplanned and unexpected surprise visit on the island. The two girls always have had a strong bond. Under normal circumstances, the heroine would be more than glad to see her. But she was currently on "war" with her best friend and this evening, at the biannual bonfire the final battle was about to take place. The two girls had this habid that every single time Amy visited and they went to a party they got drunk. Like really really drunk. The problem was that when Y/n was drunk to that extent, she would do anything. She knew it, JJ knew it, the Pogues knew it. And so did John B.

Despite her best efforts not to, she couldn't resist not breaking the tradition. So when she woke up tucked in her bed the next morning, and seeing her cousin passed out inside her bathtub, with a wave of nausea overcoming her, then hastily making her way and bending over to the toilet and vomiting, she had a dwelling suspicion that she lost the bet.

Hours later, once she ate and was in a good enough state, she started heading towards the Château. Her friends were all passed out around John B's house. Yet the owner of the estate was nowhere to be found. She took a deep breath and started looking for JB. It was time for her to find out had had happened the night before, since she blacked out per usual. Damn Amy's a bad influence, she joked to her self.

After wandering around for a gew minutes, she spotted Jombee down at his dock, chilling inside the HMS Pogue.

"Dude, what happened last night??"

"Well, well, well, look who it is."said the boy with a half menacing, half jokester look on his face.

He let a moment of silence pass, increasing the suspense.

"The sore LOSAH of the squad, hehehe. Got you good pogie...."

The girls face contracted. Then it fell to ground. She felt heat rising up to her cheeks. She inhaled slowly, then exhaled, raised her finger, blinked once, turned around and walked slowly back to the house.

She found the Pogues awake. With a mock trembling voice she spoke loud

"Oh gawd JJ. You're dating a sore loser. I cannot believe John B beat me on this. I hereby vow to to touch a drink for the rest of my life."

Her boyfriend smirked and raised an eyebrow, the girls snickered and Pope snorted.

"okay, okay. Won't touch a drink for the rest of the day. I think. Nevermind, what actually happened last night?"

"So tou aren't going to believe this, but at some point you started playing Truth or Dare with some of the people at the party. I'm talking tourons, kooks and some fellow pogues. But John B was on the other side of the area, probably macking with dear Sarah here" said Pope, pointing at the girl next to him.

"And? I mean he must have appeared later or something, right?"

"No actually, we stayed at that place for a hour. When we got back, we actually watched you downing a bottle of shampoo. Not the newborn baby edible one we got. But the regular one."said Sarah.

"Oh My God" said Y/n with her best Janice impression. "HOW"

"Well, girl, Kelce of all people dared you to drink shampoo. In your drunken daredevil state you obviously accepted. Then some touron actually sprinted to his hotel nearby, and got you hotel shampoo, or shower gel. Not sure.". That was Kiara speaking.

"But that wasn't even the craziest thing that happened. You actually got poisoned, because I guess normal shampoo and alcohol do not mix well. So we drove you to the hospital." Said JJ, worry visible on his face

"They gave you some kind of pill that helped you throw up. We stayed there for an hour. Then we got to the closest fast food restaurant, gave you food, found Amy, who was in a decent state and she insisted to take you home on her own. Obviously we drove you both there and I even tucked you in, baby. But then she kicked us out. We got back to the château and chrashed there"

After a moment of stunned silence the girl managed to speak. "So you're telling me that John B won the bet without doing anything?! And that I was in the hospital?! I need a moment to process that."

In natural pogue fashion, they spend the day laughing, swimming, surfing. When night came, it was time for John B's coronation.

"To the Amazing Human/Genious" said the five pogues, handing the winner his cummerband.

"And one that has Never Farted Bubbles, at that", added the runner up chuckling.

.........................................................

Thank you for reading this.

I hope you liked it.

Have a great day!

[sunflowerdaisybee]

Hi Author… I’m sleepy but I just had this idea. A CC! platonic Bench Trio w/ a M! comfort/Minecraft streamer friend reader that is like if you gave the ender dragon a Moobloom and Bee personally. Reader is like tall (6,8) deep voice, face-less {glasses/mask} looks scary but is like the ultimate comfort streamer. Reads stories to chat if they can’t sleep, try to give advice.. Same w/ the trio reads them stories, giving advice, etc. I’m going to go to bed. Night Night 💤 Anarchy

I’m kinda embarrassed at how long it took me to get to, and finish writing this one. I’ve gone back and am trying to get all my older requests done and I started this one but got busy with other things and have had this sitting open, unfinished on my laptop for like a week. Anyways I hope you like this, I wasn’t too sure how to write this so I did hcs :]

Summary: You are the ideal comfort streamer

Pairing: None

Pronouns: None used but male intended

[A/n]: Requests are closed, please check back later

Definition of comfort streamer, like literally the most wholesome and comforting person to ever exist. Everyone loves you and wants to be friends with you because you are just so sweet and kind.

The amount of people who get surprised when they see what you look like (excluding your face but hearing your voice). How can someone who is so delicate and good natured look and sound like that? You’ve lost count of how many people have gotten surprised by your appearance, not that you were ever really counting in the first place.

If you wanted to read stories to chat but only had like two of three that you could read they would never complain, they are very grateful to have you read stories to them.

It is extremely rare to have to ban someone from your chat because everyone is just so cool and nice the whole time, there’s no reason to hate you or be mean.

The bench trio often joins your streams when you’re reading stories so they can fall asleep to you reading, it’s so comforting.

Everyone adores you and always asks you to stream or film videos with them, you’re just so amazing and nice and all things nice.

Taglist: @minty-ghast @rokkyy @duddum-froppers @sortzz @vaxiwastaken

[harrieatthemet]

Mustache

He has never been keen on sharing. 

And Gemma’s mere existence, as well as the small indent on her left thumb she swears is a scar (though Harry vehemently denies it is), is living proof. 

Mr Ducky was his favorite bath time companion for a good bulk of his childhood. There were even times he’d carry it around with him in the house tied to a string like a pet, one of Anne’s fondest memories and favorite stories to tell whenever she found the opportunity. 

Maybe it was Gemma’s own fault; she was only six at the time and was foolishly under the impression that the stupid rubber toy was at anyone’s disposal, which is what led her to try and situate the duck in her backpack as she geared up for school. 

It’s also what led her to tears because Harry caught her on the way out the front door, Mr Ducky in tow, and he instinctively sunk his teeth right into the side of her hand in protest. And, okay fine, he may have bit down a little harder than he should have, but the overall message he was sending came across very clear. Gemma never touched anything he owned again for a very, very, long time; and eventually went on to tell everyone in her class she had a vampire as a brother. 

“What do we think of this little number,” your hip jut, innocent as it was, just now became a permanent memory in Harry’s brain, “too much, like.. revealing?”

You like nice in red; devilish, even, and in the best way possible. There’s nothing revealing about the dress at all. Somehow, though, he finds himself perched squeamishly at the foot of your bed in complete fucking anguish. In theory, no, the dress is not too much. It’s the perfect ensemble and flatters you so well he feels like whoever made the dress conjured it up with you specifically in mind. 

And no, it’s not too much, for literally anyone else except him. How is such a modest dress enough for him to think you up the way he is right now; bent over in front of him with your hair wrapped tightly up in his palm while that dress lays in a sloppy ball by his feet. 

“Would be nice with nude shoes,” he mules, “like, those sandals y’ave, yeah?” 

The way your eyes light up, that same way they always do when your mind starts to move at light’s speed as you start assembling a million different ideas into one, is enough to tug a grin onto his mouth. 

He didn’t really want to agree to this. When you texted first to ask he ignored it, that way you’d have just carried on without him and he could blame a busy schedule or an overrun nap on his delayed response time. It’s much easier to blame a missed text for no response. Of course it’s not in your nature to send a text, and he knew that already. So it came a son surprise when he was bombarded by 4 phone calls. By the fifth one he had picked up, succumbing to you and just the flat out unfulfilled urge he had to hear your voice at the other end of the phone.

“Seriously Harry,” your voice is like fucking honey, sweet and sullen like it always is, and he’s in euphoria listening to it as you poke your earring through the lobe of your left ear, “it’s just, y’know I don’t- I’m nervous and I appreciate you helping me do something as stupid as picking a dress.” 

“S’not stupid,” he reassures, “y’know I just like spending time with yeh, since y’so busy ’n stuff.”

Which is true. That’s the only thing that got him over here; and he rescheduled a zoom call just to sit in your bedroom for all of twenty minutes. Not one part of him regretted it, either.

“I’m busy?” You tease, “coming from the A lister who’s in London, than LA, than New York, London again, oh, than LA again oh, then ‘sorry love, m’in Tokyo.’”

Also true, he knows that, which is why he’s snickering at fault in response to your harmless teasing. He wouldn’t say it now, mainly because he doesn’t want to make it weird, but regardless of where he falls on the map he somehow still finds a way to fit you in. He’s never minded doing it, either. 

Twenty minutes isn’t enough. Maybe another twenty more could be a sufficient amount. That’s almost an hour, right? Forty minutes is almost a full hour with you and he’d love to get even that much. Or twenty more hours, even, would be that much better. It’s better for him to think of getting more time with you than to let his thoughts wander and remind him of where you’re getting ready to go off to. 

A date. It’s why he was so hesitant to come here. It’s hard enough as it is being a prisoner to his own thoughts, being around you and not getting to interact with you the way he actually wants; kiss you the way he wants, touch you the way he wants, hold you and talk to you the way he wants. Adding a new element to the mix, another man getting access to you the way he wants, well that’s just mental warfare. 

You don’t know anything about though. And thank God, because if you could get a peak into his thoughts and see just a preview of what he thinks he almost knows for sure you’d ice him out in a heartbeat. He’s got a soft spot for you, nonetheless, which is why he swallowed the massive-sized lump in his throat when you told him you needed help on an outfit for a date and b lined it over to your place.

“Who’s this guy, anyways.” He chimes, following you similar to that of a lost puppy as you start heading towards the staircase, “Like, wha’s he look like ’n stuff.”

Immediately after he asks he wishes he hadn’t. The way that pesky fucking lump reappears when you wiggle your eyebrows in response, stuffing your hand into your leather purse in an attempt to fish out your phone. A simple response like ‘handsome’ or ‘he’s a nice guy’ would’ve sufficed for him. Seriously, that’s all he needed. What he didn’t need was an entire fucking slideshow of an above average looking guy. And he had a cool mustache, to boot, which really pissed Harry off for some reason. 

“Should probably shave,” he squints his eyes at the photo you’ve got propped right in front of his face, trying his hardest to act like he isn’t so fucking jealous of that mustache, “kinda looks like a squirrel on his top lip."

“If I didn’t know you so well,” you tut teasingly, “I’d think you’re a dick.”

“You know me so well and still don’t think that?” 

He likes the way your laugh sounds, and it makes him happy that he said something amusing enough to drag it out of you. And the toothy smile you pair with it practically knocks the wind right out of him. Everything you do seems to wow him, corny as it sounds. It makes him feel so at ease, and the butterflies he gets each time gets him reminiscing to the days where he was just a kid and had the worlds biggest crush on the girl who sat three rows ahead of him in grade school. He’s giddy and he doesn’t want you to leave for this date. 

For a second he thinks about doing something elaborate; breaking his foot or faking an illness so that you literally have no choice but to hang back and look after him. That’s selfish though, and honestly just crazy and super fucked up, so he opts out of that. But he doesn’t want you to go so bad he seriously considers it, especially as you start sorting through the downstairs closet to find a coat that doesn’t clash with your shoes. 

He could just be honest. He could just tell you that he doesn’t want you to go, solely because he’s absolutely infatuated with you and for every hour he’s awake and functioning you manage to consume every thought he has. He could just be an adult and tell you he’s got feelings for you that very much surpass a platonic, friendly demeanor. That might be a better way into persuading you to stay back with him than breaking his fucking foot. 

“Ok now wait a minute,” he chokes, and there’s a painful twang that strikes his gut when you frown, “gotta tell y’somethin’.” 

“What,” you groan, and he swears he would rather die right now than do anything else, “it’s the shoes, right? They make my calves look like I’m a running back don’t they?” 

He wants to laugh but he thinks if he opens his mouth he would projectile vomit everywhere. But the thought occurs to him that if he does that than it would be an excellent excuse for you to skip the date. Though, of course, he runs the risk of grossing you out and absolutely humiliating himself all in one go of it. 

So he shakes his head no. In fact he loves the shoes, and they make your ankles look slender and really compliment your legs quite nicely. Still, he’s scrambling to string together a coherent sentence because his brain is working a lot faster than the muscles in his mouth are and it feels like someone just super glued his lips shut.

“Speak now or forever hold your peace,” you tease, and the cheeky wink you shoot him over your shoulder just edges him even more if that’s possible at this point, “Styles.”

“I don’t want y’to go on this date, (Y/N).” 

He’s well aware that he blurted that out in a way that he really, really, wish he hadn’t. Now the air in the room is stale and heavy, dense too, like someone just sucked all the air out and left the two of you here with nothing to inhale but words and unspecified tension. 

And he’s starting to get more anxious as your playful manner dissipates. He can tell your puzzled not just be the demeanor of your face, but by the stance of your body because your letting shoulders hang the way you do when you’re a little uncomfortable. 

“Oh,” you breath, and his chest starts sinking inward, “okay, I just- well why not? Do I not.. like, do I look bad or something?”

“No,” he coos, and he feels like the worlds biggest asshole when you start to frown, “No y’don’t- Christ, (Y/N) y’look amazing. Y’always look so fuckin’ amazing. It’s just-”

“What,” you huff, “than what is it, than? Why wouldn’t you want me to go?”

He’s really done it now. The proper thing to do would’ve just been to let you go, walk out with you and watch you drive off before he headed home himself. The proper thing to do would’ve been for him to just go home and think about you on a date with someone other than himself, curled up in a ball watching a Friends episode he’s already seen four times while he felt sorry for himself. But that’s not what happened, and what he should’ve done was just broke the fucking foot like he initially thought to do. That would’ve been less agonizing than this. 

“Because,” he’s frustrated now, not with you but really just himself, “I should be taking y’out. M’absolutely in love with yeh, (Y/N), and I don’t have a cool mustache but I could take y’out on a date, ’n I want to so bad.” 

There’s still that dense energy looming in the room, and his gut now too as he feels it winding up tightly in an anxious bundle of knots and twists. You’re not saying anything and the only thing he notices is that you’re breathing is vaguely staggered and your clutching onto that purse in your hand like he’s about to snatch it and run off. God, he should’ve just broken the foot!

“Please don’t go out wit him,” and now, his voice is small, “think it might kill me.”