#There's always his (currently) platonically malewife

[watchdogfanclub]

Lord Hater wants a girlfriend as a status symbol, a life achievement, and hasn't thought about what he wants out of marriage aside from kids and a standard white picket fence domestic life.

If he ever got a girlfriend (HAH!) he'd be at a loss of what to do because okay. That's a goal checked off. Now what?

Then he’d self-sabotage himself by continuously putting his foot in his mouth. Of course, that's only if trying to get married day one doesn’t scare her off first.

Honestly I can't see him dating a woman not because he doesn’t want to, but because he's a loser who needs to examine how he treats them.

[goffilolo]

who are your favorite top ten black clover characters and relationships (romantic, platonic)?? talk about them!

Oof, I’m always bad with anything ‘top 10’ related cause I never really categorise characters or ships like that in my head, it’s just whatever strikes my fancy at any given time, based on how funny I find it personally, but let’s give it a go.

10 fave characters and why I like them (in no particular order):

Asta - Not an ounce of book smarts, but he maxed out his people smarts and muscle stats, which is honestly the best possible combo and makes him the ultimate himbo

Liebe - the fact that he presumably developed anti-magic entirely out of spite against lucifero is the single funniest thing in the series. like this bitch had nothing and its precisely because he had fuck all that he could even go into the human world and disrespect lucifero by doing so

Nacht - This bitch went grave robbing and he not only stole his twin brother’s looks, but also morals and I can respect the hustle

Zora - This peasant bitch really went ��i will teach myself a doctorate in runes and mana theory’ and then did it with sass, love that for him

Noelle - Great character development, my girl went through so much and deserves the world

Finral - Sometimes you just need a pacifist malewife in your life. Also the fuckin Queen of Heart Kingdom aint got a single attack spell and nobody’s saying shit to her

Vanessa - Nothing more cathartic then seeing a character on screen declare to their abusive parent ‘bitch you aint my family’ absolutely iconic, legends only

Nero - My girl really got swindled out of her forbidden romance with a prince by a devil and then fucked him over. nothing but respect for my insomniac queen

Zenon - this guy really went and became a war criminal because he got sad that his crush died at his hands, textbook homo behaviour

Yuno - bit conflicted on that one, cause i dont like what tabata ended up doing with his character, but i do like him at the beginning, and genuinely believe he should’ve been on the same squad as asta

10 ships (in no particular order and based entirely on my preferred dynamic):

Asta x Yuno - just two idiots. yuno’s pining is very obvious to anyone except asta. He probably decided on the whole rivalry thing because he was convinced that asta would never actually be in love with him and needed some way to keep them tied together.

Yami x Nacht - my personal interpretation is that yami was got hitched to morgen when they were like 16 and dumb as all fuck, then morgen died and yami and nacht got married to each other as like an emotional rebound and then nacht fucked off to do his silly little spying in spade. married, but in separation and they got so many issues to work out between them. their current fight against lucifero counts as marriage counseling.

Finral x Vanessa - nothing makes your heart sing like two support mages who have no faith in themselves until some himbo from the countryside comes over and gives them faith in themselves and each other. Finral needs to get over the bullshit with his family and become Vanessa’s malewife and i am willing to fight tabata on it.

Asta x Liebe - as much as the default assumption about them is sibling dynamic due to licita, there is something almost poetic about asta’s entire character being like “if i'm not loved by mana then i can be loved by a devil”, not to mention the ultimate coming together of the two ‘weakest’ individuals from their respective worlds which results in them being the strongest together. also as per silv we count the devil binding bracelets as marriage

Magna x Luck - sometimes you just need two homos fighting it out in the background for the plot to be complete

Julius x Zara - I can’t believe Zora was this close to having the wizard king as his step dad, he was robbed i'm telling you, ROBBED. Purple orcas are not only classist, but also homophobic, more at 6.

Zora x Kirsch - sometimes you just wanna see an upper class bitch be utterly humiliated by some working class fucker and then get a crush about it. What more do you want?

Gauche x Grey - these 2 have great chemistry together, not to mention maybe if Guache learns to develop strong bonds with other people then his parentification induced trauma from living on the streets and looking after his sister will become more manageable. also good opportunity for grey’s development in confidence and acceptance of self

Lucifero x Liebe - an absolute crackship that exists entirely in mine and silv’s DMs, born out of a very specific ‘what if’ crackhead of an AU that I may or may not post on tumblr one day. overall extreme case of enemies to lovers if even that.

Zenon x Allen - sometimes you just gotta pick up a pair of tragic homos that are a direct narrative parallel to our protag and his rival and be like “you know what? they’re pretty neat”

Lol I think that’s everything for now. Again, most of it are crackships and as i'm sure those who follow me for a while are aware i am physically allergic to serious fandom content. My preferred fandom experience is ‘crack’ with occasional ‘crack treated seriously’ to mix things up.