#There is a senior (of course) coworker in my team who very much exists

[oldmanlusting]

Do you ever gain a fascination with someone who isn't necessarily a person you'd find attractive

[strayfreckles]

all on you.

☕︎︎ hwang hyunjin x reader (ft. ryujin, felix, & yeji); highschool au, friends-to-lovers au, barista au, bulletpoint fic.

maybe you would’ve gotten out of highschool with your emotions (and pride) unscathed if it weren’t for hwang hyunjin and his so-called romantic, obnoxious—and, in your case, unfortunately effective—antics.

includes: fluff, angst (especially in the middle), mutual pining, somewhat slow burn (?), gn!reader, barista!reader, a hefty amount of swearing, the only consistent thing you’ll see here is how utterly terrible this is, fluctuating humor

notes: this was requested by a wonderful anon! before you dive in, i’d like to inform you that this is my first fic of any kind, so please tread gently 😔✋ though constructive criticism is appreciated !! hope you enjoy (and hopefully not cringe too much sdkdnkdks) <33

wordcount: 2.8k

let me be the first to say that you absolutely abhor romance films with every existing fiber and cell in your body.

like, you cannot physically withstand the atrocity that is occurring right before your very eyes and you have to tear your gaze away before you bash your head to the nearest table.

and though you do admit that you’re overreacting sometimes

you also admit that you’re a massive dumbass for falling prey to one of the most common—and one of the most infuriating tropes—that is falling for your best friend.

yeah, hwang hyunjin? that boy holds your heart between his palms and with every smile you fall deeper and deeper

you’ve known that kid since you started eating crayons in elementary, and since then you’d been attached at the hip, clung to each other through all the clownery of middle school

finding each other in places is like a sixth sense; it only takes you both less than a minute to find the other before startling them with a quiet “hey, you”

but time is impatient, and that timid, starry-eyed boy you knew became the dimpled heartthrob come highschool—geared with the smarts and the talents and love-laced words that sent boys and girls running after him

but to you he was always just that kid who nearly consumed clay cakes because “it looked so real!”

until he wasn’t

it just came to you like a blow to the face, in the middle of sophomore year, sitting on hyunjin’s bedroom floor on a weekend trying to cram revise for your upcoming exams

you decided to take a quick break, and made the mistake of looking at hyunjin

and my oh my was he stunning

every laugh that tumbled from his lips sounded like a fucking symphony

and the bastard was just playing with kkami !!

he looked so damn soft as he planted kisses on his coat

every single constellation you knew was embedded in his irises

haha heartbeat go brrrrrrr

and maybe all you wanted was for him to never stop smiling, because he looked the most beautiful when he did, and maybe you wanted to brush his hair away from his face because you couldn’t see his eyes all that well and what the fuck—

you just malfunctioned

because that was your best friend

he noticed you staring, of course, and had the audacity to smirk, and in a second you wanted to set yourself on fire

“y/n, i know i look good, but at least try to be subtle.”

“you look like a low-budget minion, hyunjin.”

“i’d rather be a minion than a shabbier version of gru, thank you.”

(many fists were thrown that day, and hyunjin learned not to pick fun at your clothing lest that he face humiliation)

for the first few months you were in constant denial, even going so far as to blame hyunjin himself for forcing you to watch countless romcoms on your weekly sleepovers

but once you catch hyunjin staring at you with that fond look in his eyes, one he’s carried since childhood, your heart finally has the courage to murmur into the concaves of your chest, i am in love

it gets worse around senior year

the summer after junior year you land yourself a job at miroh café, a coffee shop at the heart of the town bc you’re broke as fuck and you need the cash

and, as expected, hyunjin becomes a frequent patron

he’s armed with a pickup line every single time he orders

and every single time you have to tell your heart to calm the fuck down he’s always been like this c’mon gimme a break

it’s even gone to the point where the regulars mistake him as your boyfriend

and as if your conscience nagging you 24/7 wasn’t enough mental baggage, your coworkers and fellow seniors, felix and ryujin, decided to weigh in

“if that isn’t the look of someone who’s simping over you then i don’t know what is,” ryujin nudges you, and from the repetitive force you’ve sustained from the past week you’re surprised your ribs aren’t bruised yet.

“you act like you’re not in the same dance crew,” you scoff, “ryujin, he flirts with everyone—he even had the balls to hit on chan!”

“let me remind you that denial is always the first stage of falling in love,” felix chirps, cheerful as he replenishes the pain au chocolat in the display.

“and let me remind you that i’m holding a very hot cup of coffee straight out of the machine; ‘accidents’ can happen, felix.”

of course, you weren’t in denial—you’d been past that stage long ago

it’s just that you didn’t wanna give yourself false hope

you didn’t want to lose this beautiful thing with him that’s lasted for nearly a decade because of your stupid emotions

so you’ve trained yourself to remain indifferent to the many compliments and lines he sent your way, hoping that if you could fool the others into thinking he didn’t affect you, maybe you could fool yourself, too

but oh ho ho, do i have some news for you (☞ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)☞

you don’t know how hyunjin’s pulse speeds up whenever he sees a handwritten note on his coffee wishing him good luck

you don’t know how often he forces himself to stop staring at you whenever you’re not looking

you don’t know how stupidly happy it makes him when he sees you smile

especially when he’s the reason why.

maybe everything about you makes hwang hyunjin happy

and maybe if you weren’t so kind and gentle and considerate during the times he lost a competition then maybe he wouldn’t have fallen this hard

but you were (and still are)

during the times you cried from laughter at all his antics

or cracked a smile at one of his pickup lines

he’d think that maybe—just maybe—he could stand a chance

but every time he did, he’d spiral into self-doubt

because there’s no way you would ever fall for him

you’re the kindest, most talented person hyunjin has ever known who deserves the universe

and he’s just… him

even if he did plan to confess, he’d be putting everything at stake; you’re too important to him, losing you would be a loss too heavy for him to bear

so he’s content with playing this role

even if the idea of you being with someone else hurts him so much

he’s content with reminding you everyday—even if it isn’t direct—that your mind is like no other, and that anybody would be blessed to have you

you both think it's always going to be like this

with you struggling to keep your feelings from showing

and hyunjin battling his inner demons

and those left to perceive the “discreet” ogling across the room and the hidden yearning in your voices are none other than (you guessed it!) felix and ryujin 🤩

it was funny the first few months

but now it’s just plain frustrating and they want nothing more than to bash your two oblivious heads together because y’all !! are !! idiots !!

no matter how much they persist, they’re always met with either a sad, gentle smile with a shake of the head or a monotonous “ha. you’re really funny.”

both have considered dropping your asses but they can’t because they love y’all too much

so all they can do is hope for a change

and change does indeed arrive when september rolls around

dance practice has just ended and hyunjin feels hyped because it’s movie night and he can’t wait to cry to kimi no na wa again

and lowkey stare at you for the entirety of the film

he exits his dance crew’s studio and is about to go straight to 7/11 for snacks when he spots the team’s newest recruit by the road, waiting for a ride home

hwang yeji’s only moved here two months ago and in a short span of time she’s already become one of the well-liked kids at school

but she’s a kind & humble sweetheart who deserves all the love & attention !!

so being the good sport he is, hyunjin approaches yeji with the brightest grin, having only talked to her a few times prior

“hey, there! yeji!” when the girl turns to him, her smile looks and feels like liquid sunshine. “waiting for your date?”

yeji turns rosy when he asks, like she does when everyone teases her about her special someone, who she’s been crushing on for weeks and who she finally had the courage to ask out. “c’mon, stop that. i don’t even know if they like me like that—they probably think it’s just another friendly date.”

“they’re a fool if they don’t end up liking you after, then,” hyunjin quips, hoping the bitterness doesn’t seep into his tone and wishing he has half the luck and strength yeji has, and she laughs.

“you know them, actually.”

“oh?”

“yeah! y/n l/n?”

oh.

o h

hyunjin can only blink at her dumbly, feeling like a thousand arrows are digging into his skin

you… with hwang yeji?

is that why you asked about her the other day? because you like her back? and that her feelings are far from being one-sided?

watching a dark cloud loom over his features, yeji thinks about asking if he’s okay when he blurts out an inaudible excuse as he walks away, zooming past the convenience store when he does

when he heads off he doesn’t even look at where he’s going, relying solely on muscle memory

he feels like he wants to grow smaller, biting his lower lip and clenching his hands into fists

he doesn’t even know why he’s upset

you were never his to lose

why would he regret what couldn’t be in the first place?

when his feet instinctively halt in front of miroh café, all he can do is stare blankly at the glass doors, at your figure behind the counter

but he wills himself to move away again, and when he does he clashes with another body

“hey, watch where you’re... hyunjin?”

ryujin stares at him with her mouth half agape, and she flinches when she sees his eyes glistening, his face flushed with the shade of pure heartbreak

“did you know about them?” he’s afraid to raise his voice, because doing so would mean there’s no stopping his emotions, “about… y/n and yeji?”

the lack of response provides the answer, and hyunjin walks away from the block

that afternoon, a cup of coffee with his name scrawled on the front went forgotten on the countertop

that evening, hyunjin doesn’t show for your monthly tradition for the first time in five years

you spend the rest of your evening obsessively checking your phone for text from him, wracking your brain for reasons he couldn’t come

of course, there are multiple reasons: like schoolwork (you are seniors, after all) and the upcoming dance competition

but you know he would text you over the slightest inconvenience, so why isn’t he saying a thing?

you rack your brain for anything you might’ve done, and your chest tightens when you think that maybe—just maybe—he’s finally caught on to you

you try to distract yourself with other thoughts as you lie wide awake in your bed: like your midterm exams, the nearing debate tournament… your date with yeji

bright, splendid hwang yeji who shares the wittiest jokes in biology and has the most colorful personality around

the first time you spent time with her she made you smile so wide it made your cheeks hurt

her laugh is the loveliest one you’ve ever heard; like dewy lavender fields beneath the spring sunshine

but every time you hear it you’re reminded that it isn’t hyunjin’s laugh, that you aren’t with him and every time you realize it you wanna cry

bc yeji’s been nothing but sweet and considerate this whole time and you’re more than guilty at the fact that all her attentions will be wasted because of you and your stupidity

you barely escape the wrath of crying yourself to sleep when you finally doze off when the clock hit two am

the next day at school, you both barely even make eye-contact

even the underclassmen who’ve heard the frequent calls of your names feel uneasy when they don’t hear hyunjin’s high-pitched voice or your shrill tones

felix especially, who’s experienced the trauma of sitting in between you two at history and feeling the tension that nearly chokes him

you’re more than terrified to look at him at him in the eye, terrified that once you do you’ll realize he doesn’t gaze at you the same way anymore

something inside hyunjin aches every time he spares you a glance, because every time he does it’s painfully obvious that he’s always been hopeless

in all honesty, hyunjin wouldn’t have shown his face at all if it weren’t for the tiny thread of patience inside ryujin snapping

so here he is, inside miroh a quarter before closing time

felix’s eyes nearly bulge out of his head when he sees him, so he sends a pointed look to his coworker,

“what did you do?” he murmurs. ryujin’s eyes are sharp when she looks at him, and he feels his blood run cold.

“what i needed to.”

no, she didn’t threaten to kill his entire family, if that’s what you’re wondering

she merely gave him… a warning

so one can imagine the surprise you feel when you emerge from the staff room, and felix drags ryujin outside to give you privacy

you both remain silent once they’re gone, neither one of you moving in place

until quiet words escape your mouth, and the familiar greeting makes hyunjin’s heart clench:

“hey, you.”

he doesn’t make a sound, so you continue, the tension heavy

“you owe me three dollars, by the way. i just wasted a perfectly good iced latte with the other day when you didn’t…”

when you trail off, hyunjin opens his mouth to let out an apology, and he realizes with a start that the words tumbling out are completely different:

“why didn’t you tell me?”

“what?”

“why didn’t you tell me about yeji?” hyunjin’s eyes begin to quiver when they meet yours, “we’re best friends, aren’t we?”

your jaw tightens, i told you. best friends. nothing more. “because you worry too much about everything; if i’d told you about us then you’d—”

“y/n, we’ve been together for a decade!” hyunjin intervenes, “we’re always going to worry about each other, whether you like it or not. and this— this is… i…”

every coherent thought vanishes as hyunjin grapples for more things to say. he knows he’s being selfish, undoubtedly so, but he wants you. he wants you so, so bad. the fight in him leaves until, eventually, all that’s left to say is the truth: “please, don’t go. don’t go… with her.”

your heart is close to breaking your ribcage when you stare at his face, you wait for him to say anything, to justify why he’s said it, but when the quiet settles, all you can see is red

“this is why i don’t tell you about these things,” you grit, trembling violently. “when i do, you say— say stuff that make me believe that you feel the same way i do when you actually don’t.

“and i hate you so much but in the end it’s all my fault because i’m the idiot who caught feelings for their best friend and—”

hyunjin doesn’t let you add anything else, because his lips are on yours and you’re overwhelmed with the feeling of him, him, him

the kiss doesn’t leave any room for doubt; he’s shaking, and his legs might give out, but he wants you to know that everything he feels is real

you’re both gasping for air when you pull away, but his hands still linger on your face and he traces the edge of your mouth, and you can do nothing but pull him closer by the waist

“still hate me now?” he asks, and you chuckle breathlessly, putting your forehead on his.

“yes, very much so,” you look at him tenderly, and he yelps when you pinch him gently, “this is all on you, y’know. if it weren’t for your godforsaken romcoms, we wouldn’t have ended up like this.”

“but if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t have ended up with a boyfriend, amirite? ow, shit— i’m kidding!”

bonus!

“oh, thank fuck,” felix exhales, looking through the windows one more time before ambling beside ryujin, who looks pleased with herself as she places her apron on the crook of her elbow. “so, spill: what did you tell hyunjin?”

she smiles, “i told him not to give up before he’s even tried anything; sometimes, there are people who are worth taking that risk for.”

just as felix is about to commend her for sounding the most wholesome he’s heard her, she adds: “and i threatened to revoke my tutelage—his ass is failing calculus so hard.”

[pastpatientlywaitingforimagines]

Antimatter | Spencer Reid x Reader Platonic

WC: 2486

WARNINGS: SPOILERS FOR 13X15, general Criminal Minds things (mentions of violence, shootings, robberies, death, etc)

This is part of my Galaxy Universe (MASTERLIST). You don’t need to read anything prior to this to understand this fic, though it may help! 

You thought your little found family had finally found some reprieve after a long year of difficulties. Spencer was reinstated, Mr. Scratch was dead, Matt Simmons joined the team, and everything seemed like it was returning to your normal crime fighting routine.

As it turns out, you were wrong.

You didn’t think twice about following Spencer out of the round table room. You were loyal to your team, and Assistant Director Linda Barnes was not going to snuff the mojo out of these people that you loved so much.

You caught up to Spencer in the bullpen, where he was shoving books into his bag. He didn’t look up when you slid onto his desk.

You waited a minute before speaking, “what’s our plan?”

“I haven’t gotten that far yet,” you were quick to follow him to the elevator.

“We need to come up with a plan before you leave, Spence,” you knew what he had just done was risky but it was the right move and you stood by your decision to follow him. You also knew that the problem wasn’t going to be solved without some other course of action, however.

“I can’t go back there. I’m not working with her scrutinizing our every move.”

“So don’t. Stay here and figure out how we’re going to get her out of our hair. Emily might know something that we don’t, she just had a bunch of meetings with Barnes, right?” You didn’t like how tense this conversation was becoming. You were currently on the same page as Spencer, that much you knew, but he could read 20,000 words per minute and it was going to take a lot for you to keep up with the pace his brain was working.

“Emily’s suspended,” you could tell he was thinking hard about what steps to take next.

“Go to her place and let her know what’s happening. Distancing yourself from Barnes is the best move before you get yourself fired.”

“What about you?” The elevator dinged to signal it’s arrival. Spencer stepped inside, holding the doors open.

“I’m going to go with the team. We need boots on the ground to figure out exactly what her plan in action looks like. I’ll be a centralized point for info about how she’s targeting everyone and get you it as quickly as I can.”

“Good luck,” he gave you a sad excuse for a smile.

“Go get Emily, I’ll be ok.” You watched the doors close, then walked back towards the round table room. You straightened your posture before opening the door and positioning yourself next to JJ. The rest of the team gave you some very strange looks that you tried to ignore.

“Will you be joining us, Agent (y/l/n)?” Barnes asked, almost as if she expected you to say no.

“I will, thanks,” you showed no weakness, making direct eye contact with her. She didn’t push further, instead confirming JJ’s ‘Wheel’s Up’ and leaving the room.

You spent the entire trip to St. Louis avoiding questions from the rest of the team about what had happened when you and Spencer left the briefing.

In a moment of quiet on the jet, JJ approached you while you were getting coffee.

“Were you able to talk to Spence before he left?” She asked in a hushed whisper, back to the rest of the plane.

“Yeah,” you said slowly, eyes flickering to where Barnes was staring the two of you down, “I’ll tell you about it later, it’s best that you don’t know for now. Trust us on this?”

JJ nodded, “let me know what you need, I’ll make sure it happens.”

You arrived in St. Louis and watched as Barnes demeaned the local PD, undermined the procedural profiling, and intentionally paired herself off with each member on your team. It was only a matter of time before she got to you.

You had been purposely avoiding her, instead collecting tidbits of information from your coworkers about their conversations with her that were unrelated to the case at hand. You intentionally stayed behind to work victimology when she finally cornered you in the conference room.

“You’re loyal to a fault, Agent (y/l/n),” she wasted no time addressing you.

“Excuse me?” You chose to not look up from the crime scene photos.

“Following Agent Reid out of the office this morning was a bold choice,” she tried to assert herself into your space, something you weren’t about to allow.

“I don’t see how my loyalty is a fault. I could see that Doctor Reid was unwell and I wanted to make sure he was ok.”

“You were suspended while he was in prison last year, were you not?” Clearly she had done her homework, although you didn’t like the way she twisted the situation inaccurately.

“I was on medical leave from field work, I still assisted remotely from Quantico and retained all other privileges.”

“Caused by Agent Reid’s arrest?”

“Caused by pre-existing mental health conditions that I’ve been treating since before I joined the BAU. My leave was temporary to help get it under control after the stress of Doctor Reid’s false arrest.”

She was quiet for a minute as you shuffled to the next file. You hoped that she would start asking about the case before you lost your temper, your secret mission would be compromised if you couldn’t keep your head down about it. Her next statement didn’t surprise you, though it came from left field.

“You do know that interpersonal relationships within a Unit are against Bureau policy.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re implying,” you put down the file to finally square up to Barnes. She had seen your file, you knew that much, but you were now doubting how much she had actually read into it.

“Are you and Agent Reid romantically involved?”

“Doctor Reid is my best friend. Last time I checked there was nothing in Bureau policy that didn’t allow that. I don’t appreciate you speculating about my personal relationships when they’re clearly not relevant to this case.”

Questioning your loyalty to the team was one thing, but attacking the most pure thing in your life was going too far.

“What is relevant to this case then, Agent? Your skills must be more useful elsewhere than sitting in a conference room looking at photos. Perhaps a transfer to a tactical unit would be more beneficial to the Bureau?” She finally pushed in a direction you were expecting.

“I would think that the Bureau would be more interested in well rounded agents instead of one trick ponies. I’m building my skillset here, rather than getting stuck in a rut doing tactical work.” It wasn’t completely the truth, just last year you had talked with Spencer about the possibility of you transferring to the Hostage Rescue Team. A tactical position would make sense, considering your strengths, but you had found such an unlikely home at the BAU that leaving was out of the question.  

“You’ve been building your skills here for almost a decade. Why do you think Agent Prentiss was promoted to Unit Chief over you?”

“She was the right choice. She has seniority, as well as a more rounded viewpoint from her other assignments. I trust Emily Prentiss wholeheartedly.”

Just like Matt had predicted, Barnes was trying to pit you against your team, “what about Agent Jareau? You’ve been a profiler longer than she has, do you know why I promoted her above you?”

It was her mistake, honestly. Of all the people who she could try to turn against the BAU, you weren’t a good choice. Instead of falling into her trap, you doubled down, “she’s been with the team longer than I have. Knowing how the team works is just as important as knowing how to profile if you want to do this job right. I fully support JJ as Unit Chief, but that’s not why you picked her, is it?”

“It is not.” You waited for her to elaborate, but instead she left the conference room to talk to Matt. As soon as she left your phone was at your ear calling Spencer.

“She had the nerve to ask me if I was romantically involved with you,” you hissed as soon as he answered. You heard Emily laugh on the other end of the line.

“What’s happening with the rest of the team?” Spencer spoke up.

“She’s trying to push us all out, but keeps denying it. We’re closing in on this case, but she’s stepping on our toes all over the place. She wants to make this a quick close but honestly she’s only making it harder for us to profile this guy. How’s it going on your end?”

There was a pause, which you assumed was caused by Spencer taking you off of speaker and stepping out of the room.

“She’s trying to leave. She said someone had to take the fall for what happened with the Truthers-“

“You’re not letting her, right? Nobody needs to take the fall for what happened, where did she get that idea?”

“Barnes, I guess. I’ll keep working here, keep doing what you’re doing.”

“Ok, good luck.”

Doing what you were doing proved harder than you thought. Barnes stepped completely out of line during the validation strategy, getting the unsub killed when Tara and Luke were completely capable of talking him down. You were fuming but knew you needed to keep your head down as to not blow your cover with Spencer, so instead you tacked yourself to Luke’s side with the knowledge that he would tell you if you were about to do something stupid.

It was the right call, because JJ tore into Barnes on the jet and you knew you didn’t have the authority to add on to it. It felt like a small victory, until Barnes met you all in the office right before you were about to head over to O’Keefe’s.

“Agents Prentiss, your suspension is lifted. You will be reassigned within the Bureau, your new post has yet to be determined. Agent Lewis, you will also be reassigned. Agent (y/l/n), you are being reassigned to lead a SWAT team in the city, congratulations on the promotion. Agent Reid, you will be a full time professor with our exchange program. Agent Rossi, the FBI deeply appreciates your service and the Director wishes you nothing but the best in your retirement. Agent Simmons, Agent Alvez, you will remain here at the BAU. Garcia, your loyalty to the team is appreciated but it feels like a fresh start in a different department would be best.”

She made it seem like your reassignment was a good thing, but that was far from the truth.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer answered his door faster than you thought he would, eyes narrowing behind his glasses when he saw your disheveled state a few weeks later.

“I’m losing it. I’m going to get my whole team killed. I can’t keep doing this,” you spilled before you were even able to step into Spencer’s apartment.

“Here,” Spencer led you to his couch and pressed a hot cup of tea into your hands, “take a deep breath, you’re here with me. Did you just get off of a case?”

“Yeah, a bank robbery downtown. We locked it down but the whole time I was thinking about how it could have gone wrong.”

Spencer didn’t say anything, instead letting you sip tea and breathe for a minute.

“When Barnes reassigned me I thought her goal was to give me a promotion so I wouldn’t want to come back to the BAU.”

“It was, she knows you’re an incredible agent. Any unit is lucky to have you.”

“What if it was to break me though? She’s read my file, she knows my episodes have been more frequent since you were arrested in Mexico. Did you hear about the school shooting that happened last week?”

Spencer nodded.

“I was there, Spence. I was there. And the whole time I was leading the team through the hallways getting kids out I kept thinking about Jack, and Henry, Michael, and Hank. How they could be in that school, how there were already kids in that school that I hadn’t saved. I couldn’t save them.

“When I first started out at the Academy my peers all told me I would head up SWAT one day. I thought it was what I wanted until I joined the BAU. You even said I’d do well on a tactical team a year ago, so I trusted the process and that we’d get back at Barnes but I can’t keep doing this. I can’t keep having panic attacks after every case. It’s not fair to my team, someone’s going to get killed and it’s going to be my fault.”

“It’s not your fault, it’s Barnes’. Why don’t you take a couple of days off and sit in on my lectures? You can even guest speak if you want, I scheduled an extra day in the syllabus in case I needed to go over any material again but I don’t need to use it.”

“You’re too good at this, Spence. Where’s your mom?” You looked around his small apartment, already starting to feel better.

“She’s in the bedroom resting. She’s liked having me home so much, although she asks me almost every day when you’re coming to visit,” he laughed.

“I’m sorry, I feel like I’m at work now more than when we were in the BAU. I have a newfound respect for every time I’ve called in SWAT in the past nine years,” you joked.

The comfortable silence that fell between you as you finished the drink in your hand was cut short by Spencer’s phone ringing.

“Doctor Reid,” he answered, “Hi Luke, what’s up?”

Your eyebrows smashed together, listening closely to the half of the conversation you were able to hear.

“Don’t bother, they’re with me. We’ll meet you there. Bye,” he hung up and turned to you with a slight frown.

“They have a case that they want us to look at. Barnes won’t approve it, we’re meeting at Emily’s.”

“A secret team meeting?” you stood up excitedly, unable to stop the grin spreading on your face, “let’s go.”

“Hey Spence?” you asked as he got into your car, a small detail of your conversation occurring to you.

“Hmm?” he clicked his seatbelt.

“You didn’t know I was coming over. The tea that you gave me… you made it for yourself, didn’t you?”

Spencer smiled bashfully, “you needed it more than I did.”

“The world doesn’t deserve you, Spencer Reid,” you sighed, putting the car in drive.

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[hunflowers]

Femme Fatale

Word Count: 7.3k

Requested? Nope, but you always can here :)

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A/N: I hope you enjoy my rendition of mafia!Harry bc I lowkey do not. Enjoy the smut and maybe leave some feedback when you’re done! *nose boops*

part 2 :)

The rivalry went back decades.

Growing up, they had no choice but to hate each other. It was practically in their blood because that’s how their ancestors were towards one another.

Besides, they tried the whole friendship thing when they were children, and it didn’t even work out then. Simply at first because their families forbade it. But they soon realized how annoying the other was as the years went on. And how badly they wish they could just strangle one another because that would be easier than ever becoming friendly.

It all started with their great-grandfathers, as most old rivalry stories do. They once worked in unison, in harmony as coworkers, cofounders, and friends. Once poor, they rose to the top as a team. But, when money started to become more prevalent, so did the truth of their relationship. They both wanted seniority, to run the business as a King rather than as a team. So, when heads were clashing and neither of them could bring themselves to kill the other, they did the only thing left, and split the business.

And from that point on, peace no longer existed.

Not only did the two men hate each other, but all of their workers started to hate the opposing side. No one thought there could be two leading imports in the city, because the city just wasn’t big enough for both egos. But even though chaos ensued ever since the split, people could say peace was also created. Because everyone was afraid to start a war they couldn’t finish. So, even though there were the casual breakouts and fights, nothing too major ever happened to the point where the city would practically cave in.

Except for now that is. Because Harry and Y/N hated each other that much. Everyone was afraid the other would snap soon and that could only lead to destruction.

Of course, the pair like to think they have it under control, but in reality, one wrong word spoken and the other is as good as dead.

People wondered who the Hell left them in charge because they were some of the most hot headed people to have ever walked this planet. But, in reality they really weren’t left a choice but to run the companies.

Harry’s father was never too into the whole business. Yeah, he got the job done but it wasn’t his first choice career wise. And seeing as he was an only child, he was left no choice but to stay in charge until Harry was ready. And the second he saw that Harry was mature enough for this responsibility, he immediately passed the throne down to him, thankful to have that weight off his shoulders.

As for Y/N, her father wanted her to have nothing to do with the business because it wasn’t a woman’s responsibility. He was thinking of handing the leadership down to his nephew, because he had always looked up to Y/N’s dad and had dreamed of being in charge one day. Of course, she found the whole ordeal ridiculous because the job was meant for her, and no one else.

Y/N was the eldest of her siblings, neither of them being boys. So, when the time would come the company had no choice but to fall in her hands. And even though the time came a lot quicker than she anticipated, she was beyond ready to take on the responsibility. Just a few days past her twenty-first birthday, Y/N’s father had died of a heart attack that was completely unwarranted. He took excellent care of his health, so to say it was a surprise was an understatement. But, even though the company sprung up on her, she prepared most of her life to be in charge and she wasn’t going to let her father down.

Despite Harry’s many attempts to prove her wrong and that she’d be a failure at running things, she would actually prove him wrong time and time again because products exported smoothly and income imported even smoother. And what she makes in a week is generally what he makes every month.

So, she’s doing pretty good she thinks.

But they did try to be friends once. When they were eleven, they shared a few of the same friends so their paths always crossed. So they decided they wouldn't be hostile towards one another because that was the rest of their family, not them. Fast forward to the age of twelve, and Harry and Y/N nearly get in a fist fight due to Harry hurting Y/N’s best friend, and Y/N doing the same to his.

Clearly, history would repeat itself and thus the two joined their families in hating the other.

That led them to where they are now, thirteen years later, and still a lot of hatred in the air.

Albeit, there was the rare occurrence of sexual tension in the air too but they choose not to dwell on that.

It was a one night thing. They were both completely plastered, and they hardly even remember it happening. Of course they tell different stories of that night, and it actually drew them farther apart, but again, they choose to not think about it at all.

It was only a one time thing.

But today. . . today really solidified their ongoing rivalry. Y/N was awoken this morning by the loud shrill of her ringtone blasting in her dark bedroom. She was tempted to not answer it because everyone knew not to call her so early in the morning, but then again, everyone knew not to call her so early in the morning so it must only be an emergency.

And it was the news on the other line that broke her heart and had Y/N flying out of her bed faster than light travelled. Earlier that morning, her youngest sister, Serena, was found in the bathroom of the local club, knocked unconscious whilst her clothes were nearly ripped to shreds. She had been drugged, raped, and stripped of her dignity and Y/N felt responsible. This ache in her chest was prominent because she felt it was her fault for some reason.

After their father’s passing, Serena had gone off the rails for a little while. She took it especially hard because even though all three of his daughters were his babies, Serena being the youngest was his special baby, and she found it very difficult to cope with the loss. So, when Serena did a little too much of experimenting with drugs or drinking, Y/N knew taking care of her baby sister was her main priority.

Hearing the news that her sister had been violated, Y/N couldn’t help but take it to heart. She hardly cared about the outfit she was wearing or what state her hair was in when she arrived at the hospital, all she wanted was to get to her sister.

When she entered her room, she was greeted by her mother and her other sister, Francesca, or Franny for short, already by her bed.

“How is she?” Y/N spoke quickly, taking in the look of her sister sleeping on the hospital bed.

Franny stood up so frantic Y/N could sit down and catch her breath after she practically ran through the hospital halls to find the room.

“She hasn’t woken up yet, but the doctor says she’s in stable condition,” her mother spoke, a shaky breath leaving her lips as she squeezes her daughter's hand.

Y/N bit her bottom lip to stop the urge to burst into tears, keeping her stone cold face in tact. “I swear, I am going to kill whoever did this. I’ll kill them myself, with my own two bare hands.”

“Y/N, please, not now,” Mom hissed. She hated that her daughter had gotten so involved in the business, and she most certainly hated that Y/N got her father’s temper. Her daughter hurting people is the last thing she wants to think about, especially while her other daughter is currently on a hospital bed.

“What, you don’t want whoever did this to pay?”

“Of course I do! By going to prison, not by my daughter’s two hands,” she glared at her eldest.

Y/N huffed, sifting back in her chair and trying to tie back her knotty hair in some sort of bun to get it out of her face before she screams. “Well, my way is a whole lot easier, and I can then guarantee whoever did gets justice served. Who knows what the legal system will do. Give ‘em three months maybe.”

“How about both of you shut your mouths, she’s waking up,” Franny spoke up, gaining the two’s attention immediately. Y/N sat forward, grabbing Serena’s right hand in her own.

The blinding light from the lamp above her head made Serena squint her eyes shut at the vivid brightness, her face distorting into in an uncomfortable grimace before she was able to open her eyes without the light hurting. She looked around at her family, confusion striking her features as she realized where she was.

“Wha– what happened?” She spoke hoarsely, her voice scratchy from probably being excessively dry.

When it was explained what had happened to her, she immediately broke down into tears, which then caused Y/N to let out her own tears. Again, that ping of guilt hitting her right in the heart.

“I know the police are going to ask you questions once they see you’re awake, but do you have any idea who did this to you? Anyone being suspicious towards you last night?” Y/N asked, keeping her voice in a hushed tone to try not to startle her sister in this fragile state.

Maybe it wasn’t the best timing for this but police would be here soon and this was Y/N’s job to find the person who did this, who hurt her family, her blood.

Serena swallowed, closing her eyes to try and remember anything from the night before. She started to shake her head because most of the night was a blur in her head but then she did remember one specific detail that was probably the most important.

Her eyes snapped open as she looked at Y/N, the realization of how important the detail is dawning on her. “He had a uh– tattoo on his arm. It was the. . . Styles emblem.”

Y/N practically shot out of her seat, fuming at just the name of Styles. She hardly left with a goodbye before she was storming out of the building and into her car. Of course it was someone from his side that had the audacity to do something like this. To step onto her side of the city, to do this to her sister.

If you know Y/N, you know her family, so whoever it was knew exactly what they were getting themselves into, and that just made Y/N even angrier. Her hands were practically itching to grab ahold of this guys neck and twist it like a rope.

She zipped her way in and out of traffic, trying to make it to her destination without any fatalities but still getting there as fast as possible. And when she did get there she hardly remembered to put the car in park and to shut it off before she was running inside and to the elevator.

She got a lot of nasty looks from everyone that saw her figure running across the lobby, and she knew why but she didn’t give the time of day to care. Because the boss herself was stepping onto the wrong territory.

When she made it to the right floor, and to the right door, she pounded her fist rapidly on the wood, urging anyone inside to open the fucking door.

And when the door finally did swing open, she was face to face with the one face she was hoping to not see anytime soon but yet at this time she couldn’t avoid him any longer.

“You better have a good reason to be knocking on my door this fucking early in the morning,” Harry spat down at the girl in front of him.

Y/N looked over his shoulder to see two people, a random guy and a girl on the couch in his office, both nearly naked. Then she looked at Harry and saw that his own clothes were disheveled as he probably haphazardly tossed them on his body to open the door.

“Really, in your office?” Y/N droned, pushing past him and into the large space and giving the two a nasty look to state get out.

“I don’t really need your fucking comments so how about you just leave?”

“No, they have to though,” she gestured to the two who were looking around the room quite uncomfortably, not exactly sure what to do with themselves in this moment.

“You don’t boss me around.”

Y/N sighed at his frustrating attitude, trying to keep her cool in front of bystanders, but it was pretty difficult when she was dealing with the most difficult man on the planet. “Harry. . .” she began, looking at him with these pleading eyes that meant something was wrong. Y/N hated looking weak, especially in front of him, but if it got him to cooperate for once, then so be it.

“It’s important business, that they have no part in.”

He looked at Y/N with a hard look, really not wanting to let his fun night come to a close all because she said so. But, he could tell from the way her eyes were the slightest shade of red and how she was still dressed in her pajamas in front of him that whatever this was must have some sort of emergent reasoning.

He looked to Dave and Michelle, the pair who were still so confused about what was happening, a sorrowful look on his face. A look Y/N never thought she would see. They got the idea, quickly scrambling for their clothes before leaving his office. Harry closed the door behind them, licking at his bottom lip before biting it and turning back around to Y/N with that stone cold face she’s grown used to.

“Well, you better get to explaining what the fuck this is all about before I lose my mind.”

Y/N took a shallow breath, running her hand through her very messy hair and speaking up, “Someone on your side hurt my sister, and I need you to find out who.”

“Hurt your sister?” He looked at her with a bored face, going to his big chair behind his desk and plopping down on it, propping his feet onto his desk and leaning back with his arms resting behind his head.

“She was drugged and raped and she says she saw your emblem on him, so, chop chop boss man and find out who the fuck was out last night.”

Shock laced his features at the r word but he soon went back to his bored look, and scoffing at the idea that one of his men would do something so vile. Serena was known to exaggerate and to lie about things ever since she first got her hands on drugs and Harry had no choice but to disbelieve the claims.

“I highly doubt it was one of my guys. Your sister has a tendency to. . . lie. Plus, if she was drugged there’s a low chance she’ll remember something as specific as my emblem but, I assume, nothing else,” he pointed out, raising his eyebrows at Y/N as if to say I win*.

Steam could practically be seen escaping Y/N’s ears as her face set into an angry frown and becoming increasingly red by the moment. Why did she think he would be considerate once? It was her mistake to think he had any ounce of a heart in his body, but even though she knew he would be difficult to work with, she was still beyond pissed at his response.

She stomped forward to the front of the desk, standing opposite him as she leaned forward and grabbed his white button-down shirt in her fist and yanking him forward so his body was in an awkward position and so his face was inches from her own. His smirk settled deeper on his face as his eyes trailed up and down her own face and her figure that was leaning over the desk. Because she never gave herself the time to change out of her pajamas, her silk camisole top revealed a lot of what was underneath to Harry; especially the lack of a bra.

Y/N could practically see the hormones flowing around in his head as he looked like he couldn’t give two shits about the way she was practically ripping his shirt off his body. She brought her other hand up and hooked it under his jaw, tilting his head up so he had no choice but to only look at her eyes.

“I figured I would ask nicely before I kill the prick myself. But there is no playing nice with you, is there Styles?” Y/N seethed, gritting out her words, pushing his body back harshly into his chair.

He laughed, genuinely laughed at the prospect of her being. . . nice. He ran his fingers through his hair, getting up from his position in his chair and walking around to meet her at the front of her desk. His slim fingers took the strap of her camisole, gently rolling it in his fingers before bringing it up and snapping it back down on her skin. “Not when you’re dressed like this, love.” Y/N pushed his hand off her body, standing up straighter in her spot and giving him the nastiest glare she could muster.

“Fine, but don’t be alarmed when you get the news someone died,” she stated, walking back over to the direction of his office door.

“You won’t be killing anyone, Y/N. And if you do, you leave me no choice but to kill one of yours,” he called out as she began to walk down the hall.

She stopped in her tracks, turning around to face him, to see that he was leaning against the doorway of the room, arms crossed in front of his chest. Y/N laughed at his proposition, looking down at her feet, stepping back in his direction with the tiniest foot forward.

“I think whoever raping my sister and then me killing them justifies this whole, eye for an eye thing, don’t ya think?” She hummed, giving him her final deadpan glare before, again, walking away from him and beginning her business for the day.

❊ ❊

A few days went by.

Y/N was closer to finding the guy, but it seems finding someone with a specific emblem tattooed on them proves to be quite difficult when a lot of guys have that same emblem tattooed on them in the exact same spot.

Cameras in the club did little to nothing to help her in the case, seeing as the place is dark, and that it’s sort of illegal to have surveillance in the bathroom. But her team was working hard and the more she didn’t have the guy in her hands, the more angry she became, and the more determined she was to freaking find him.

“All I’m saying is if you drop to your knees, he’ll be more willing to help you,” Y/N’s best friend Flo shrugged, taking a sip from her water as she leaned back in the chair.

“And I don’t need his help, he’s proven to be useless countless times.”

“Then why ask in the first place? Remind me again, because I’m a little lost.”

Y/N turned her head away from her laptop screen, looking at Flo with a bored look, sighing as she closed her laptop to give her friend her undivided attention. “Is there something you wanna talk about?”

“Yeah, like how I think this whole ‘Oh, I hate Harry,’ thing is bullshit. Why go to him if you know he won’t help?” Flo questioned, leaning forward with her arms resting on the mahogany desk.

“Maybe he grew some human decency since the last time I saw him?”

Flo squinted her eyes at her best friend, not exactly accepting that as an answer. It was for one pretty vague, and Flo knew her friend a bit better than that. There was something she wasn’t telling her, and she’d be damned if she left this room not knowing.

“Hm,” Flo hummed, sitting back against the leather chair, then taking another dramatic sip of her water. Y/N gave her a look of distaste as if to ask, is there a problem?

“And, when was the last time you saw him?”

Two weeks ago.

For that. . . thing they don’t talk about.

From what Flo knows, last time Y/N saw Harry was to discuss business settlements six months prior. So, if there’s no business that needs to be handled, there would be no reason for Y/N to see Harry, right? That’s a secret Y/N so desperately wants to keep. She’s ashamed of the night. Beyond words she’s ashamed and it’s only because she gave into temptation.

For a long time, she had Flo telling her that she should let go of this family feud because how could Y/N miss out on an opportunity to be with someone as handsome as Harry? As powerful as Harry? If they were together, there would be absolutely nothing stopping them, because not only were they good at what they do, but so many people respected them that the city would have no choice but to accept that they’re a couple.

But, that went against decades upon decades of family rivalry. The two would be damned if they were the reason this, basically family tradition, came to an end.

So, Y/N had no choice but to lie to her best friend, to avoid life as she knows it spiralling out of control.

She pondered in fake wonder for a moment before answering, “I think a little over six months ago.”

Flo nodded her head in understandment, taking in Y/N’s words but not exactly believing them. There’s a reason Y/N and Flo are best friends, and it’s because the two are very much alike. They’re sarcastic, they’re funny, they’re smart, they take their job seriously, and so many more reasons beyond that. But one defining reason is that they both understand the other so well. They can see right through each other. So for Y/N to think Flo doesn’t know she’s lying, is quite offensive to Flo.

Y/N tried to not break eye contact when she was talking, but she did, and that was the main giveaway that she was lying, even if she only looked away for a brief second. Flo had her down pat, much to Y/N’s demise.

And Flo wasn’t going to sit here and not call her out on it.

“Okay, and now I want the truth.”

Y/N’s eyebrows shot up, and she pursed her lips whilst shaking her head, “I don’t know what-”

“The. Truth. Y/N.”

“That was-”

“Now.”

Y/N huffed, looking down to her hands that she now placed in her lap. Under her friend’s hard gaze, Y/N’s face began to heat up with the embarrassment running through her veins. There really shouldn’t be any reason to be embarrassed about this, but she is. She hates that it happened, but more importantly she hates how she caved to him.

Glancing back up for a moment, Y/N bit her lip softly, feeling exceptionally small as her friend continued to wait for an answer. Taking a deep breath, Y/N sat up straighter in her chair, finally speaking the truth, “Two weeks ago.”

And now it was Flo’s turn to raise her eyebrows, jaw dropping practically down to the floor.

Then Y/N got to explaining.

❊ ❊

It was a Thursday night. Not even the weekend. Y/N had found herself in Central City, which is basically what everyone within the two groups calls the place on the border that separates the sides. She was just outside of Central City, dealing with a few of her loyal dealers all day, and in Central City is one of her favorite bars, so after a long day of working, she wanted to treat herself to a few casual drinks. Plus, she has a small crush on one of the bartenders there, so she figured that night she just may get lucky.

Little did she know, Harry had been just outside of Central City all day too, dealing with a group of rogues who thought they could steal from him and get away with it. They didn’t. So, after an exhausting day of interrogation and torture, Harry needed a drink. And what better place than his favorite bar in Central City?

She was there first, chatting up with Ben the bartender. She was laughing, drinking, listening to the horrible singer up at karaoke; just having an amazing time. Everyone knew who she was but they were all too drunk to worry about anything so they went on about their nights as if the Queen of half their city wasn’t in their presence.

But then everyone went silent, and the only thing that could be heard was Y/N’s laugh as Ben says something ridiculously funny. When she noticed everyone had gone quiet, she looked around the room to look for why no one was talking. It was quite eerie that one second everyone was having the time of their life to now everyone looking like they’d rather be anywhere else.

Then her eyes met his, and she nearly dropped the glass in her hand.

But she wasn’t going to leave just because he showed up. It was her favorite bar. And he felt exactly the same way because it was his favorite bar.

About fifteen seconds of awkward silence and intense staring went down before the two got fed up with all of the eyes focused on them.

“What’re you all looking at?” They snapped in unison. Quickly everyone went back to what they were doing, trying not to worry about a fight breaking out or a screaming match going down. And their worry soon started to dissolve as all the women began to fantasize about Harry and all the men wish they were worthy of being with Y/N.

Unfortunately for the two, the only seat left available in the place was the one on the right of Y/N at the bar. And when Harry sauntered over, going to sit down on the stool, Y/N was quick to stop him claiming she was saving the seat. He looked at her blankly, knowing fully well no one was going to sit there. He swatted her hand away, sitting down on the wood with a plush seat, quickly ordering himself a drink.

They tried not to converse throughout the night no matter how badly they wanted to snap at one another. But the more they thought about yelling, the more they drank, and the more they drank, the more willing they were to talk to each other.

That’s how their night progressed. By the end of it, they somehow came across the topic of sex. And how neither of them had gotten any in what felt like forever. In reality it actually hadn’t been long at all for either of them, but they tended to be dramatic, plus they were teetering on the tipsy-drunk mindset.

“Worst part is, he left his socks on! Fucking socks! It’s one thing to last thirty seconds, but to leave your socks on? Nearly killed the guy,” Y/N grimaced, recalling the event from last week.

Harry was having a hard time keeping in his laughs and judgements, but Y/N was okay with it because that was the whole point of telling the story in the first place. “Okay, you win this time, that is worse.”

“This time? I always win, Styles.” Y/N was practically gloating as she finished off the rest of her martini. He rolled his eyes at her words, shaking his head in response.

And no one could really predict the future events unfolding. It was quite out of the ordinary, and Y/N hardly knew what she was doing until after she had done it.

This thought dawned her hazy mind, and then she was placing her hand on his shoulder and looking at him with this lust and admiration she never thought she had inside of her. The moment he felt her hand on his shoulder, he looked at her quickly and nearly crumbled at the way she was looking at him.

If no one were in this bar with them, he wouldn’t hesitate to take her right then and there, but alas people were all around them. So, he had to keep it in his pants for just a little longer.

He leaned closer to her, taking in the scent of her heavenly perfume as she breathed in his ravishing cologne. They were so close, their lips barely grazed over each other’s, the tips of their noses brushing together softly as if it never really happened.

“What’s on your mind?” He wondered, his right hand coming down on her thigh, awfully close to her now aching center.

They were positive people were most likely watching them like hawks and that news of this just might spread around very fast by tomorrow morning. But, they just didn’t care. Y/N placed her hand on top of his, slowly dragging it even further up her thigh, so his fingertips just reached her dampening underwear.

His lips parted at the feeling, his eyes widening in awe as he stretched his fingers to again barely touch her where she really wanted him. She almost moaned at the feeling but kept the noises inside, not wanting to bring anymore attention towards them.

He laced her hand that was on his shoulder in his hair, softly tugging at the curls at the nape of his neck. She brought her wet lips up to his ear, whispering, “To see what it’s like for you. . . to win.”

He looked at her with an open-mouthed smirk, tongue poking the inside of his cheek before he hastily stood up and placed a few bills down on the bar to pay for their drinks. Y/N grabbed her purse, making her way to the door, Harry following behind her.

When they finally arrived to his place, stepping in the threshold of the foyer, all barriers fell down and all morals left their minds. Their lips were locked in a feverish kiss as he had her pinned up against the cool wooden surface of his door. Her legs were hiked up to wrap around his hips, high heels abandoned on the floor as she pressed the heels of her foot onto his ass, pushing his front harder on her core, creating some sort of friction between them.

He broke apart their lips, tangling his fingers in her hair as he tugged her head to one side to open up the view of her neck that he wanted so desperately to mark up. The second he bit down on her skin and licked the area, and peppered kisses up and down her throat, Y/N let out a moan she couldn’t suppress anymore. And then Harry smirked against her skin.

“It’s so ironic,” he started, grinding his hips harder into her as he brought his head up to look her in the eyes. “Out there, you’ve got people at your feet, looking up to you like an actual queen, not afraid to kill me at any given moment. But in here. . . I’ve got you writhing beneath my touch, just itching to be touched down here.”

And then he cupped her cunt, fingers petting her damp thong, having her mewl at the small but impactful contact. She wished he would just shut up and just fuck her already, but she could tell he was having fun with this; her being so complacent and not fighting him and instead agreeing that she was in fact desperate for him to touch her.

He pushed her skirt up her hips, getting better access to her pretty pussy, pushing aside her thong, gathering up her slickness onto his fingers. He brought his fingers up to his face, admiring the shine before wrapping his lips around them. If Y/N was standing, her knees surely would’ve gave out from under her at the sight. And she couldn’t help but get ever wetter as he sucked the digits, pulling them out with a pop.

“Sweet. . . like honey,” he grinned before reattaching their lips quickly. He brought his hands down onto her ass, gripping tightly before removing them from the door. Although they didn’t get very far and ended up on the comfy living room couch. There was no way they could handle stairs in their state, so the couch was good enough.

Really classy.

As soon as her back touched the soft surface, Harry was ripping her skirt and panty down her legs, and harshly tugged open her shirt that a few bottoms came right out of the seams. And if Y/N wasn’t drunk on alcohol and lust, she’d be beyond pissed.

But she really wasn’t one to talk, because she also ripped open his shirt, albeit not as rough but she’s pretty sure she ripped off one of his buttons too. Within a matter of seconds, the two were completely naked and beyond excited for what was to come. Literally.

Harry littered kisses up and down her body, mouth lingering longer on her aroused nipples, whilst he sank one then two fingers into her dripping hole. Y/N let out a breathy moan, lifting her lips up off the couch to push his fingers deeper inside of her.

“You’re so tight, Darling, and it’s just my fingers.”

He locked their lips in another passionate kiss as he pumped his fingers faster into her heat, gaining a few more moans out of that precious little mouth of hers. He hovered his lips over hers, speaking his next works huskily and softly that sent shivers down her spine, and made her pussy throb.

“Imagine me burying my cock into you. You squeezing me as I thrust into you, over and over again. Your warm walls holding onto me as I pound into you, absolutely wrecking you. Can you imagine it?”

Before she could say a single word, his thumb began working fast circles on her clit just as he continuously started to hit that special spot inside of her that had her seeing stars. The string of moans she let out could really put a pornstar to shame, and he didn’t even have his dick in her yet.

Was it embarrassing for her to be this much of a mess just from a simple fingering? Yes. But, just like the rest of the night, she lost the will to care.

“H-. . . Harry, please,” she whined as he switched the pace of his fingers to a slower rate, trying to prolong her orgasm for as long as he could.

He simply shook his head, denying her any satisfaction. Because as much as she was in charge out there, he was in charge here and he wouldn’t let her get what she wants so quickly.

Instead, he wanted to rile her up even more. With his free hand he brought it up to her breast, groping it roughly and then pinching her nipple between his thumb and first finger. And then he got an idea as he looked at the hickey that was starting to form on the side of her neck. He slowly trailed his fingers further up her chest, her collarbones, and eventually landing on the soft skin of her throat. He gently wrapped his hand around her throat to see what kind of reaction he could get out of her, and much to his surprise, her small hand wrapped around his wrist to, instead of pushing his hand away, push harder on her throat.

And if he wasn’t turned on then, he for fucking sure is now.

She loved the way his big hand was wrapped around her throat easily as if it had the smallest circumference. She loved the way it made it just the tiniest bit more difficult to breathe while he continued to ram her pussy with his fingers. And he loved just how much she loved it. “You naughty fucking girl. You like my hand around your neck don’t you? Does it turn you on?”

Y/N didn’t want to say anything, because as much as she was this confident woman, this moment was far too embarrassing, even for her. But, frustrated with no response, Harry pressed down more, using a deeper voice to elicit a response out of her.

“Answer me, Princess. I won’t continue if you don’t use your words,” he tsked, again slowing down his rhythm. Y/N groaned as his fingers practically came to a halt, bucking her hips up to continue the euphoric feeling inside of her.

“Plea–”

“Not until I get an answer.”

Y/N huffed, opening her eyes to look into his boring down on her. She bit her lip softly before nodding her head gently to respond to his previous questions.

“Uh-uh, I want words, Y/N. You love to talk, so c’mon, tell me.”

Groaning again, Y/N turned her head to the side to break eye contact. All she wanted was an orgasm, and she knew that within the next minute she was bound to burst and she hated that he was stopping her from reaching it. She took a breath and mustered up the courage to finally agree with his words, that yes it turned her on immensely.

“Y-yes. . . it turns me on,” she whispered. With that he smirked and removed his hand from her heat, making Y/N whimper at the loss of contact. But he couldn’t take it anymore, his erection becoming too unbearable that he had to ease his pain sooner rather than later.

Reaching down to his wallet to pull the condom out that he had stuffed in there a few nights ago, because he couldn’t be bothered to go upstairs to get his stash, he hastily ripped open the foil, careful not to rip the condom itself, and quickly rolled it onto his throbbing length.

He first pushed the tip in, giving her a few moments to adjust to his girth. Y/N completely lost it as he pushed further and further inside of her, back arching off the plush cushion as she cursed at the feeling of him stretching her. She widened the space of her legs, absolutely losing her mind as Harry’s face buried into her neck, the vibrations of his moans and groans shaking her body.

When he finally stopped, Y/N was quick to look down to see his cock was gone and deep inside of her body. She never felt so full in her life and she didn’t know how she was going to take him moving. The stretch came with a subtle burn that brought tears to her eyes. All good, of course.

“Harry, please move,” she begged, scraping her nails down toned back.

“Are you sure?”

“Fucking move.”

Then he slowly inched his length out before snapping his hips back against hers.

It was crazy that they were doing this.

Never in a million years did they think they would be having sex, each other’s names flowing out of their mouths so easily as their moans filled the air. The thought was always taboo for them but just this once they accepted their fates, and God, did it feel good.

It felt so good.

❊ ❊

When Y/N was finished explaining what had happened that one night two weeks ago – of course without the intense details – Flo sat with a smirk adorning her features.

Her eyes glowed, knowing she was right. She just knew this sort of thing was bound to happen. Next step, they were going to admit their undying love for each other and Flo couldn’t wait to get that news.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Y/N scolded.

“I’m not looking at you like anything,” she shrugged. “. . So when’s the wedding?”

“Florence James!”

“Hey, I’m just dealing with the cards I’ve been dealt,” she raised her hands in defense.

“Can we just forget about him and get back to more important matters, like who assaulted my sister?”

Before Flo could respond, a knock sounded on the door to Y/N’s office. Yelling a quick come in, Y/N was quick to flip off her friend before whoever walked into the room.

Looking over her shoulder, Flo let out a laugh before getting up from her chair and then returning the hand gesture to Y/N. “Speak of the Devil,” she called as she left the room, closing the door behind her.

Harry stepped into Y/N’s office, that annoying smirk ever so permanent on his features.

“Speaking about me, Princess?”

“You have two seconds to explain why you’re here before I stab you in the throat.”

“Relax,” he dragged out, taking off his coat and draping it over the back of the chair Flo was just sitting on before sitting himself down on it. “I come with good news.”

Y/N raised her eyebrows, interested in what he could be talking about. She didn’t bother asking what good news, instead just waited for him to continue with whatever it was he had to say.

“You don’t have to worry about Jack anymore – Uh, the guy who. . . y’know, with Serena.”

To say Y/N was taken aback would be an understatement. She was so shocked that she had him repeat himself and explain what the fuck that was supposed to even mean.

“Look, I know I was harsh the other day. But when you left I got to thinking and. . . I know I would do anything I could if somebody hurt someone in my family. So, I got to asking around, turns out it was this guy Jack I had just fired and now you don’t have to worry about him,” he elaborated, clasping his hands together on his lap.

Y/N’s mind was in a whirlwind at this information, trying to process everything he just told her. It wasn’t a lot to take in but, it’s because he willingly helped her that had her in such a confused state. He had never done anything like this before and she was sure he wouldn’t do anything like it ever again.

But then she smiled. Genuinely smiled. Because he helped her. There’s no way she was going to let this one go. However, before she could gloat, she asked one very important question, “Is he alive?”

Harry gave her a knowing look, as if to say she should know him better than that.

Then she smiled again, even bigger than before. Because he killed someone for her and that – in their world – was the biggest sign of affection someone could give, because it meant that that someone meant something special.

“Fuck off with that smile,” he grumbled.

Y/N then stood up from her chair and walked over to him, standing in front of his seated figure, bringing her hand up to caress his jaw. “However could I repay you, Mr. Styles?”

It was then his turn to smile at her as he placed his hands on the back of her thighs and brought her to sit down on his lap.

“I can think of a few ways.”

And they were kissing like they never had before. This time they were so sober, it felt too real.

But they didn’t mind too much, because this moment felt like the start of something new.

[moonlight-ghoulette]

Happy birthday @arentiaclevergirl! As promised, here is your fake relationship ficlet as my gift to you :)

“A work party?” Rhett asked incredulously, mouth full of toast, eyebrows pulled together in confusion. Link crumpled down into the chair at the opposite end of the table. “I thought you said you weren’t ever going to bother going to any of ‘em, and now suddenly I have to go too?”

“I know, I know. I just, I kind of have to go now.” Link sighed, arms splayed over the table in front of him.

“But what’s that got to do with me then?”

Link dropped his head to the table between his outstretched arms.

“I dug myself into a hole and I need your help. Just this once”

Rhett paused, putting his toast down, staring hard at Link. Link wearily lifted his head, grimacing apologetically at his roommate and best friend of too many years to count, inhaling deeply in preparation for his monologue that he was sure was only going to piss Rhett off.

“I’ve told you about Caitlyn, yeah?”

Rhett nodded slowly, his face still twisted in confusion.

“How she’s been non-stop tryin’ to get me to go out to lunch together on break, inviting me out for drinks after work, constantly touching me when we talk, breathin’ down my neck any moment she can? Well, I… I told her I was gay?”

Rhett nearly choked on his orange juice.

“So you skip over telling her you’re not interested, and go straight to ‘I’m gay’?!”

Link shrugged, letting his arms drop heavily back onto the table in defeat.

“I panicked, okay?”

Rhett shook his head in disbelief, standing up from the table to put his plate in the sink.

“So what, you want me to accompany you to your work party to masquerade as your boyfriend so you--”

“Husband,” Link interrupted, muttering under his breath. He flinched as the plate was dropped hard into the sink. He turned in time to see Rhett slowly and menacingly turn around to face him.

“You’re kidding.”

Link shook his head, covering his face and his bright red blush of embarrassment with his hands.

“She apparently didn’t care that I was gay. ‘Gay,’” Link ephasized with finger quotes. “Or she didn’t believe me, I don’t know. Guess I don’t blame her. So I told her I was married to cover my ass. Of course then word got out and everyone was curious, and I became an enigma. Everyone wanted to know his name, why I didn’t have a wedding band, why I never talk about him, how long I’ve been gay, who wears the pants in the relationship, where we went for our honeymoon,”

Rhett carefully sat back down across from Link, his face frozen in bewilderment.

“So now everyone is dying to meet my husband who they’ve heard so much about.”

“That’s not a hole you dug yourself there, Brother. That’s a canyon.”

Link slouched back down onto the table, nodding in agreement. They sat in silence for a minute, processing it all. Link glanced up when Rhett shifted in his seat, clearing his throat.

“Okay. I’ll do it. But you owe me big time for this.”

Link’s solemn expression cracked, a faint glimmer of a hopeful smile peeking through.

“So I guess I should know a little more about myself then, right? What’s my name?”

Link paused, his eyes widening, the blush coming back with a vengeance.

“R-Rhett.”

Rhett rolled his eyes, leaning onto his elbows.

“I know my own name dumbnut, what’s my alias?”

Link sputtered, his fingers nervously rapping the table’s surface.

“It’s Rhett.”

Rhett leaned in further, his eyebrows furrowing.

“You named your fake husband after me?”

Link nodded into his hands. He was sure he was going to implode right then and there.

Rhett stood up and walked off towards his bedroom, feigning an irritated sigh, turning back before he was out of view.

“You really owe me big time for this.”

°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°

The ride to the venue that night was surprisingly not as tense as either of them had anticipated. They went back and forth quizzing each other on Rhett’s alias; They met 6 years ago in their senior year of college, married 2 years ago in a small courthouse ceremony. Their beliefs didn’t require wedding bands so they just didn’t bother. They honeymooned in Boulder, Colorado and it was very nice, thank you for asking. Don’t answer the pants question.

Link fidgeted with his blazer in the passenger seat, flipping open the visor to check his hair one too many times. Rhett glanced over, letting out a short chuckle.

“You look fine, babe.” Rhett said with almost not enough emphasis on the pet name. Link froze, slowly closing the visor as he turned his head towards Rhett in the driver’s seat. Rhett glanced over, laughing at Link’s sheepish expression.

“What? If you really want Caitlyn to hop off your dick, it needs to be convincing, right? I’m not gonna mack on you for the sake of saving you from your own lies, so we need something to make it seem real.”

Link nodded, turning back into his seat. His cheeks flushed as his lips silently echoed the term of endearment to himself.

Link was sure that one way or another, this night was going to be the death of him.

They strode into the quaint, dimly lit banquet hall and took in their surroundings. Balloons and crepe paper lined the walls and upbeat pop music played from ceiling-mounted speakers at a modest volume. Small groups of colleagues huddled together, cheerily conversing and laughing over unknown beverages in red solo cups. A few couples mingled on the small wooden dance floor in the middle of the room, bobbing their heads as they engaged in small talk. Rhett’s eyes scanned across the modest crowd, suddenly catching those of a young blonde female. Her eyes flitted between the two of them for a moment before her face lit up in excitement. Before Rhett could ask Link if that was his not so secret admirer, she was already jogging over. Link stiffened up when the woman neared, his hand racing to grab onto Rhett’s in the most awkward, rushed fashion.

“Charles! You’ve finally decided to be part of the team for once!” the woman quipped, her hand brushing along the collar of Link’s blazer. Rhett quickly concluded this was the girl in question. Link side-stepped closer to Rhett, his hand gripping tighter, his fingers trembling.

“Ha ha, funny. Anyway, Caitlyn,” Link said with the slightest emphasis for Rhett’s sake, “this is my, uh. My husband, Rhett. Rhett, this is my coworker, Caitlyn.”

Caitlyn smirked, her eyes scanning Rhett up and down as if inspecting the quality of a new appliance.

“Well well, he does exist after all. Nice to finally meet you, Rhett. You sure are a lucky man for finding Charles when you did.” Caitlyn said with a wink directly aimed towards Link.

Rhett felt an immediate twinge of offense and possession. He wrapped his arm around Link’s waist, pulling him into his side a little harder than he initially intended.

“Sure am.” Rhett beamed, aiming for a polite smile but achieving more of a shit-eating grin.

“You know, Charles just would not shut up about you! Once he finally opened up, it was like the floodgates burst open. You should see his face when he talks about you, oh I’ve never seen someone so smitten--”

“Rhett, honey, we should introduce you to everyone else before they run off!” Link loudly interrupted, his feet scuffing the floor as he leaned his weight into Rhett, shuffling them off and away from Caitlyn’s rambling as fast as he could. Rhett looked down at Caitlyn’s surprised face as he was pushed away, his proud grin still plastered on his face. Rhett chuckled, drinking in Link’s flustered face as he leaned into him, prompting him to keep walking.

“You talk about me a lot, huh?” Rhett said down towards Link with an air of arrogance, earning him a slap to his upper arm.

“Don’t drown in your ego.”

“Oh, come on Linkster. I’m just giving you a hard time.”

“I did it for the act, Rhett. Talkin’ about you just… It came easier to me. It was easier to pretend I was in love with you and not some imaginary person because, I mean...” Link said, his voice dropping low. Rhett could almost make out a hint of pain in his tone. Rhett planted his feet and stopped them in place, turning to face Link.

“Is it, though?” Rhett asked, craning his neck down to catch Link’s eyes with his own. Link blinked back in confusion, his face flushing pink with the close proximity.

“Is it really all just an act?” Rhett clarified, his voice soft, a reassuring smile peeking out from under his beard. Link’s eyes flicked between Rhett’s, a deluge of emotions present in one single, long gaze. Link shut his eyes tight and dove into Rhett’s chest, wrapping his arms tightly around his chest, burying his face tight into Rhett’s shirt.

Rhett smiled sweetly as he held Link close. His feelings for Link were always there, but never dwelled upon for long. But now, they were finally justified. It was a quick, unextraordinary spark from a life-long fuse, a simple and calm justification of his feelings after years of tamping them below the surface. He loved Link. He’d always loved Link, but he was never sure if the feelings were completely mutual and never worked up the courage to test the theory in fear of damaging what they already had. Sure, they’d shared a bed before. There were many nights they’d share a blanket during a movie, pressed closer together than what would normally be considered “platonic male friend” friendly. They’ve undressed in the same room, bared their deepest emotions with each other, have held gazes longer than socially appropriate. But Rhett never had an official verification.

Until today. Rhett felt sure of it. It was all too personalized to be an act on Link’s part. Link could have easily come up with a completely different human and have him play the part. Instead, he spoke of Rhett utterly as he was, and he did it truthfully and with passion. This moment of justification may not have been filled with a dramatic swelling of violins and a choir of angels as he’d imagined something like this may have been, but it made Rhett no less ecstatic.

After a long minute Link slowly released his tight grip, his eyes slowly trailing up to Rhett’s, shinier than before with the slightest pool of tears gathered on his lower lid. His smile was modest, but he was still absolutely beaming as he looked up to Rhett. His expression was radiating love and hope and relief and bliss. All the same feelings Rhett was experiencing. He hoped it showed through just as much in his smile. Rhett gave Link a final squeeze before taking hold of his hand, leading them back into the throng, both with a pep in their step that wasn’t there before.

They nearly made it to the wet bar when a small group of colleagues called Link over, unsurprisingly inquiring about Rhett. Rhett stood tall next to Link, a hand held tight to his narrow waist after shaking hands with the group. He nodded and added a few words here and there, confirming Link’s generated backstory for the both of them. They stood closer now, unafraid of crossing any imaginary boundaries now that the dam had broke loose. Rhett was truly enjoying himself at this point. Most of the credit as owed to the way Link unabashedly gushed about how wonderful their relationship was to save face, the stories coming easier now as if they had actually happened and weren’t just daydreams. Rhett’s mind floated off to the possibilities of making these charades into actual memories as Link continued to chat with his coworkers.

It wasn’t long before Rhett’s attention was quickly pulled back to reality when he felt a hand clap him on his shoulder, excited shouts of “Go! Go!” and excited faces beaming at him from Link’s colleagues. Rhett’s eyes settled down onto Link’s coy expression as he raised his eyebrows in question. Link nodded his head towards the dancefloor.

“It’s a slow song, for a couple’s dance.” Link answered shyly, his smile growing wider.

Rhett’s expression softened as he took Link’s hand, giving a nod to the group as they walked off towards the middle of the venue. A small handful of couples were already swaying together to the sweet tune as they stepped onto the smooth wooden floor. 

Rhett turned towards Link, first placing his hands on his shoulders, then slowly pulling him in, his arms draping over Link’s back. Link wrapped his hands around Rhett’s waist, his body flush with Rhett’s. They gazed at each other, lost in the endorphin rush that never left from the moment they silently admitted their feelings, wide smiles unable to be dulled if they tried.

“Husbands, huh?” Rhett joked softly, his head cocking to the side as he smiled sweetly down at Link. “I think this is a new record for fastest relationship.”

Link giggled softly, pressing his forehead to Rhett’s chest for a moment, inhaling his scent.

“We were basically an old married couple anyway,” Link quipped, looking back up at Rhett. “But really Rhett. I mean, I’m not saying we have to, especially if you don’t want to or change your mind down the line. I mean I don’t even fully know what’s happening right now, like what we are or what we’re going to be from here on but, gosh. I don’t know. I think we need to earn that title, you know? Work up to it? Is that okay? Did I just ruin the moment?”

Link was stopped in his tracks when he felt a hand cup his cheek and soft lips pressed to his own. He instantly melted into the kiss, his hold on Rhett tightening as he closed his eyes, sinking into the wonderful, new feeling. He blinked back to reality as Rhett pulled away, pure love pouring out of his expression.

“You’re not getting rid of me if you try, Link. I’ve been yours since the day I met you, and I’ll wait as long as you need. A slip of paper and a piece of metal won’t change nothin’ about how I feel about you.”

Link’s eyes suddenly went blurry as he smiled so wide it hurt, reaching up on his toes to dive into another kiss; The second kiss of tens of thousands to come.

[pengiesama]

A Reasonable Amount of Trouble (Fic, Sorey/Mikleo, Detective AU, Chapter 2/?)

Title: A Reasonable Amount of Trouble, Chapter 2/? Series: Tales of Zestiria Pairing: Sorey/Mikleo Summary: Sorey is an experienced member of the supernatural detective division, the Shepherds, but is a fresh face to the city squad when an unexpected transfer lands him in Lastonbell. Things tend to get complicated when you realize that hot hookup from the bar last night is now your new partner on the force. (Detective AU)

Sorey fails to bond with his new team, fails to churn butter, and fails to get over Mikleo.

Read Chapter 1 here!

Link: AO3

This was a commission from @shamingcows, who requested fic from her fantastic Detective AU!

Check out my commission info here.

Read on Tumblr!

Sorey was settling in to Lastonbell well, he thought. He had been spending the last two weeks admiring local historical sites, checking out museums and art galleries, and sampling local cuisine, and was getting to know his coworkers a little bit better both in the office and out. He missed his teammates from Ladylake, but Sorey was the friendly sort, and knew that it was only a matter of time before he was just as close with his new team as he was with his old.

That being said, there was a certain teammate he’d love to get closer to sooner rather than later. 

But the problem was, Sorey supposed, that he’d gotten close to him a bit too Sooner, making the Later a lot more complicated. Sorey snuck a sneaky peek at Mikleo, who was seated next to him, and tried to catch his eye. Mikleo continued to stare straight ahead at the whiteboard at the head of the room, though Sorey saw him jump a bit when Sorey poked him in the side. Small victories. Mikleo glowered at him, and smacked him away; Sorey grinned and gleefully escalated the tickle duel. Flirting with coworkers might be an awful idea, but it had its perks when it came to spicing up boring meetings.

“Excuse me! Detective Sorey! Detective Mikleo!”

Sorey winced and ceased all tickle activity, looking up a bit sheepishly at the source of the admonishment. Maybe he shouldn’t have been screwing around in a department meeting when he was still a fresh face in the building. Detective Eleanor had raised herself to her unimpressive stature, and was fully fluffed up and ready to unleash a lecture. 

“While it is wonderful to see that you are already bonding with your new partner--” 

Another one of his coworkers, Detective Zaveid, burst into giggles at the phrasing. Sorey didn’t know how Zaveid found out about his and Mikleo’s...pre-existing bonding encounter(s), but he did seem to have ears and eyes everywhere in the city. Or maybe Sorey had had a small slip of the tongue when Zaveid took him out for drinks. Or maybe Zaveid was crawling around in the office air ducts to spy on him and Mikleo while they worked. The latter scenario would be entirely unsurprising. Sorey had very quickly found out that, much like Sorey’s motorcycle needed fuel, or a flower needed sun, Zaveid needed to consume a constant stream of gossip or he would instantly fall completely dead to the pavement. Eleanor frowned at him and fluffed herself up further to increase her lecturing power level.

“--and while it is also wonderful to see senior members of the department taking an interest in helping you acclimate--”

“Who’s a senior?” Zaveid said, with hurt in his voice. “Eleanor, are you telling me that I’m not cut out for this job anymore?”

Eleanor looked like a deer in headlights; her cheeks red as her hair. To not confront misbehavior in an individual who should be a paragon of morals and virtue was intolerable; to contradict one’s professional senior was likewise intolerable. Eleanor was conflicted between these impossible extremes, and seemed ready to burst from strain.

“Detectives! Your captain has something to say.”

They all looked warily at the front of the room, where Captain Sergei Strelka stood: back straight, shoulders squared, and patiently waiting for his team to redirect their attention to him. Captain Strelka was something of a legend on the force – Sorey had heard about him even before he was assigned to Lastonbell. He was hyper-competent, and had spearheaded the initiative to clean up Lastonbell’s organized crime and drug trafficking activity. He was professional, an excellent leader, and a great public face for the department. His position was well-earned.

Sergei looked to the hand-puppet of himself that he wore on his right hand, and made it cross its arms firmly.

“I’m Cap’n Strelka, and I’m here to lead everyone in a fun-filled team-building activity at the behest of HR!”

Sorey had wondered why they’d been called into this meeting in the middle of the afternoon. He didn’t wonder so much about the puppet. Not anymore, anyway. Sorey briefly wondered what it was about the position of captain that seemed to make people…like this. Sorey thought back to some of his more disturbing encounters in Ladylake. He’d watched Captain Lailah confiscate the shed skin of a Medusa-class hellion (a Class V biohazard), determined to purify it enough to mount it on her wall, all because it had dried and coiled into a curl that had captured her heart. After three days the entire station needed to be evacuated and a team in full protective gear needed to be sent in to clean up the miasmatic haze. Lailah lost her trophy to the incident, and sank into an abiding despair that lasted months.

And now here in Lastonbell he was regularly attending lectures on workplace safety and cultural sensitivity hosted by a hand-puppet.

(Early on, Captain Sergei had called Sorey into his office, and quietly asked him about how he’d been adjusting. He encouraged Sorey that he could always talk to him and the Cap’n about his feelings. Sorey thanked them both for the opportunity. Later, as he carefully turned the encounter over in his mind to come to terms with his new reality, he’d asked Mikleo why Captain Sergei seemed so familiar.

“His twin brother is the head bartender at Katz Pajamas. You probably saw me talking to him while you were there.”

“…is he…does he do the hand-puppets too?”

“No, thank god.”

“I bet that’s kind of weird, though? You’re in there cruising for hookups, and you’re getting poured drinks by someone who looks like your boss.”

“I’ve done body-shots off Boris’ nipples while he was dressed like a slutty cat at the bar’s Halloween party a couple years ago. We’re way beyond weird.”)

The team looked resigned to their fate. Zaveid forced a smile.

“Team-building! Great, let’s all meet up at the nearest bar and really get our team on--”

“It’s three in the afternoon!” Eleanor scolded him.

“I know a place that does all day mimosas,” Zaveid explained. “I bet if you wanted to make a lunch version you could find a half-empty plastic gallon jug of orange juice and fill the rest with vodka--”

“That’s just a screwdriver for people who’ve given up on life,” Mikleo shot back.

“Team! We can go out for drinks later,” Sergei assured. “But Miss Moo Cow is only booked with us for an hour before she has to go back to the park petting zoo.”

The door to the meeting room opened, and a full-size dairy cow led by a person in a cow suit entered. Mikleo sprang out of his seat and inched over to the windows, all the color draining from his face. As he slunk away, Sorey stood up from his own seat and carefully trailed after him with no little concern.

“No. Not after last time,” Mikleo said firmly. “No, no, no.”

“Detective, I assure you that Miss Moo Cow has gone through the required sensitivity training to prevent a repeat of last year’s events,” Sergei said reassuringly. He gestured at Mikleo with his Cap’n-bedecked hand. “Would you like to talk with Cap’n about your feelings before we start the process of churning some delicious homemade butter?”

Mikleo was clearly not convinced, and was in the process of climbing out the window and onto the fire escape. Despite his better judgement – though homemade butter did sound nice – Sorey put on his negotiations hat and tried to talk Mikleo down.

“Mikleo, why don’t I do the honors with Miss Moo Cow for you, and then we can both get churning --”

Mikleo was out and away, his footsteps clanging on the metal fire escape stairs as he headed towards the roof. Giving a sheepish smile to his teammates and a respectful nod to Miss Moo Cow and her associate, Sorey climbed out the window to follow him. As he pursued Mikleo to the rooftop, he heard the Cap’n asking who’d like to go first; and Eleanor’s small, despairing affirmation.

Sorey found Mikleo seated on one of the industrial fan boxes on the rooftop; smoking a cigarette to calm his nerves down from whatever cow-based horrors had rattled them. Sorey had seen him smoke before – he thankfully wasn’t a pack-a-day addict (Sorey surely would have tasted it on his tongue during their long weekend together), but he still lit up more often than Sorey liked while on the job. Sorey knew the stresses of this kind of work, and maybe smoking didn’t have as bad an effect on seraphim, and Mikleo of course never did it where anyone else had to breathe it in. But when it came to Mikleo’s health, Sorey couldn’t…

…what he really couldn’t do was anything about it, at all. Mikleo wasn’t his boyfriend. They weren’t in a relationship. They’d barely even established a professional connection. He was a guy he’d hooked up with over one wonderful, unforgettable weekend; he was a guy he was hopelessly hung up on. Sorey knew from the start that he was terrible at keeping things casual, at keeping feelings out of bed. And yet he dove in head-first regardless. This is what he got for ignoring his own good advice. Sorey shoved his hands into his pockets and flopped down next to Mikleo on his perch.

“So what’s your beef with Miss Moo Cow?” Sorey asked jovially.

Mikleo gave him a flat look. Back in Ladylake, that kind of pun would have gotten Sorey a promotion from Captain Lailah. The times, they were a-changin’.

“I know you’re not lactose intolerant, considering how many ice cream bars you can pack away.”

“I prefer to not remember the incident,” Mikleo said tersely. He took another drag of his cigarette, and exhaled a long, slow breath. “Suffice to say that I don’t have faith I wouldn’t see a repeat of it.”

“Well, whatever horrors you think she’s capable of, you’ve abandoned Eleanor and Zaveid to suffer them alone.” Sorey tsked his tongue teasingly. “Hope that’s not me someday.”

“If and when that cow ever goes hellion? It just might be,” Mikleo retorted. He stubbed out his cigarette. “That being said, rest assured that I have your back in other circumstances.”

Sorey grinned wide. “Is that a date?”

Mikleo snorted, but Sorey could see a smile on his lips regardless. “You wish.”

 --

 Text messages (4), Mileena Weiss

Hi Sorey!! How’ve you been?

We’ve missed you here in Ladylake! (heart emoji) Ix has wanted to text you since the day you left to see how you’re doing, but, well, you know him. He thinks it would just be “bothering” you. (eyeroll emoji)

Captain Lailah is as elegant and graceful as ever, but I can tell she misses having you around. I bet she’d love a text or email from you sometime. If you make a beautiful lady like her cry, I’ll break into your apartment at night and break the bindings on ALL your books!! (knife emoji, knife emoji)

The precinct’s been pretty quiet lately, so maybe we can both take some time to visit you in Lastonbell. Ix has been daydreaming of going to all those museums and galleries you told him about before you left; if I don’t get him there soon, he’s liable to wilt away from nerd starvation. (skull emoji) Help him!!! Love you lots!

Sorey read through the texts with a small, sad smile on his face. Mileena and Ix were the resident rookies on Ladylake’s squad, and ever since they’d joined the team, Sorey had felt a certain kind of responsibility for them. Especially Ix, who – though showing deductive skills and proficiency with purification that rivalled many of the more seasoned squad members – was a complete and utter nervous wreck even in the best of times. Crippling indecision and heartbreakingly low self-esteem were not traits that meshed well with a career in criminal justice, no matter what skills were there to make up for it. On his especially bad days, Sorey would load him up on the back of his motorcycle and drive them both over to his favorite café and bookstore to chat about history until Ix’s tension passed.

When Sorey got the notification that he was being transferred to Lastonbell, he couldn’t help but be concerned at what would become of the rookie when he wasn’t around…he had Mileena, of course, but there were just some things that you couldn’t talk about freely with someone you had feelings for.

Sorey knew that pain. He dropped his phone to his chest and let out a sigh.

 You:

Hey guys! That sounds great, but I’m not sure if you really want to see my apartment right now…

 Mileena Weiss:

Have you seriously not unpacked yet???? It’s been two weeks!! What will you do if you want to bring a special someone home with you, make them sleep in a box like a cat??

 You:

Well, if it came to that…

 Mileena Weiss:

I swear I don’t understand men honestly

I’m gonna tattle on you to Captain Lailah

 You:

Nooo. Nooooooooooooo

I’ll unpack soon. Promise (halo emoji) And then the two of you can come tour the city with me!

 Mileena Weiss:

I’ll hold you to that! (heart emoji)

 The twinge of homesickness in his chest eased, if only a little. Sorey paused for a long moment, gazing at the gathering clouds outside the window, at the twinkling city lights in the late night air. He tapped over to his contacts and brought up Mikleo’s entry, and stared at the picture Mikleo had sent him to associate with it – before they’d found out they were coworkers, of course. Sorey was sure that Mikleo wouldn’t have ever sent him a photo like this otherwise.

His naked neck, marked with Sorey’s hickies, his shirt unbuttoned to show the lines of his chest, his unbound hair falling in waves down his shoulders, and just a hint of his full, soft lips. Sorey probably shouldn’t still have it associated with Mikleo’s contact, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to disassociate the Mikleo he’d fallen into bed with, with the Mikleo he was now working alongside every day in the office. Doing that felt like giving up, and reasonably, that was exactly what he should be doing – Mikleo had rebuffed all of his advances once they’d started working together, so he clearly wasn’t interested in dating a coworker. He’d have to ask Mikleo for another photo sometime. Maybe now?

It was perilously late. It is widely known that at a certain time of night, the urge to send maudlin/horny/needy texts to your crushes becomes an irresistible self-destructive directive. Sorey was caught up in this compulsion, and before he even realized what he was doing, he’d already texted Mikleo.

 You:

Hey. You still need a picture of me for your phone?

 Sorey then pulled his phone back to take a selfie; turtling his neck in an attempt to give himself as many chins as possible in the shot. He sent it over to Mikleo, and as five whole seconds ticked by without a reply, Sorey fought the urge to go curl up in the bathtub in a shame ball. Luckily or unluckily for Sorey, he didn’t have to wait more than another torturous minute or so for a response.

 Mikleo:

That wasn’t the kind of photo I was expecting when I saw your name, but if you insist. Have you been drinking?

 Sorey hadn’t been. He didn’t need to be drunk to make poor decisions in love.

 You:

drinking!! The very idea

What kind of man do you take me for

 Mikleo:

The drunk kind. Go dunk your head so you’re lucid for work tomorrow

 You:

Is this the kind of thanks I get for sharing my chins with you (crying face emoji)

 Sorey didn’t get a response for a minute or two, and briefly thought that Mikleo had abandoned him for the night to recover from his not-impairment. However, Sorey’s phone buzzed again, and Sorey’s heart skipped when he saw that it was a photo message. Swallowing hard, Sorey opened the notification.

He knew that Mikleo wore reading glasses – Sorey saw him wearing them at work, and he looked good enough in them there, but this. This was simply unfair. Mikleo had sent him a picture of himself in half-profile, leaning his chin on his hand, and giving the camera a half-lidded look over the tops of his spectacles. His hair fell over one shoulder in a loose braid that just begged to be loosened further by Sorey’s fingers. He looked like he had been reading in bed when Sorey texted, and apparently slept without a shirt on. (Well, he’d slept without a shirt on at Sorey’s place. But he didn’t have pants on then either. Asking if the latter still held true seemed to be an inappropriate question to ask.) The dim lighting of Mikleo’s room cast shadows on his features; perfectly outlining the beautiful lines of his jaw and cheekbones, and the tiny curl of those lips as they smirked at Sorey through the screen. It was no less lewd than the picture he already had of Mikleo, and Sorey felt awash in an exquisite despair.

He was getting the distinct feeling that he’d find something to fixate on no matter what picture Mikleo sent him, no matter how innocuous. He wondered if he could maybe sneak one of Mikleo while he was eating. That might work to get something that wouldn’t destroy him every time he looked at it.

 You:

too few chins. a B+ at best. See me after class

 Mikleo:

I’ll dispute that grade with the dean’s office tomorrow, I assure you.

Good night. I’m sure you know to drink water before going to bed

 You:

Of course. Partners always looking out for each other

Good night

 So now Sorey had two lewd pictures, a renewed ache in his chest, and one very empty bed.

Sorey covered his face in his hand and sighed. This city was feeling lonelier than ever.

[fuck-customers]

Promotions, Disrespectful Coworkers, and Shitty Customers

So long long story here, takes place over three? months. TL;DR at bottom.

So I've been working at the Freshest of Grains for over a year now, my first job and I've shifted between two different departments for mental health reasons. Anyways, I shifted onto checkouts at the same time another girl joined that team of people. We bonded over our mutual suffering of working at a 'rich people' supermarket. So needless to say for awhile at the beginning I had a really shitty attitude (no idea why they kept me on to be honest) but over time I came around and started actually trying and everything was pretty okay, was still friends with coworker - I'll call her A.

Cue about 5 duty managers (people who have been trained to approve the sale of alcohol while also blocking minors from buying) leaving all around the same time and 3 checkout assistants leaving too. So we're ridiculously short staffed, and a lot of the new people are struggling because it's nearing Christmas so it's getting busier. This is when A starts calling out A LOT, like every second shift. She's a party girl, goes out probably 4 or 5 times a week. And she hates working at this store. Not hard to guess what's going on. So me and another coworker (H) basically pull double time because we're having to cover her shifts on top of doing ours (say I have a 11am-7pm, I was doing 8am-7pm) so our manager K, notices this. Whenever she asks us to stay behind or come in early, we always do it.

A only comes in for her Christmas Eve shift, and has a shitty attitude as per usual. So after this the manager starts hinting at me and H that we might be getting promoted - naturally we are both stoked about this. This is a few weeks after Christmas when it starts getting more serious and K is pushing us to train under the remaining duty managers. This is when A's behaviour gets insulting, and only towards me. She has no problem with H. But when it comes to me, she's snide and catty and refuses to call my name when I am on alcohol training on the floor - which is a serious risk because I may not catch the alcohol if she puts it through herself. (K trusts the team to call on DMs to approve alcohol even if the whole team knows the code to put the alcohol through themselves)

So that's another stressor added onto my list aside from training for being a duty manager & having to deal with the knowledge that there is a huge fine with my name on it if I sell to a minor. It hasn't come to a head yet, but A is claiming she's leaving soon (as she's been threatening to do ever since she started working here) and I really can't be bothered dealing with that when I have other things on my plate it's easy enough to ignore.

The customers though... They're another story. The regulars (all bar one) are fine, they're pleasant enough to us, and we know them by name, that's fine. It's the people who come once or twice and expect us to pull shit out of our asses for them that really twist my underwear. I only recently gained my cert to be able to duty manage, but I'm considered one of the senior staff & if there are any newbies I am the one to usually train them (since I probably made the most mistakes when I started so I can tell them what Not to do)

So one day I'm training a girl and she's doing really well and not freaking out too much and she's listening to what I say and then we get a customer we call the 'dog lady' - she has a couple of dogs she brings to the store and the dogs wait outside. They're ridiculously obedient and wait at the exit door for her and they're super cute, but the lady herself is a total cow. She treats the store like it's her home, coming in 5 mins before we close most times & staying until well after 8pm. She's also very very finicky about how she likes her food packed. So I'm with this trainee and the dog lady comes to the counter & is her usual self. I get the trainee to pack since I know the order this customer likes her things packed. We finish the transaction and all is well until the lady takes a look in her bags and just??? Lets out this awful screech like she'd just seen the body of her dog in the bag. She starts going OFF, like full tantrum mode. I'm not too fazed because I've seen this a couple of times before but the trainee is just frozen and stuttering out apologies and I feel awful for her. So I diffuse the situation and let the trainee take a ten to chill out and when she comes back she just has her bags and says she doesn't think she can take it! Fair enough, but at least finish the shift!! She had maybe another hour left.

(Side note: I suffer from GAD so I can totally understand if an angry customer is going to put you off but have the decency to finish the shift, even if you need half an hour for a breather - which I've had to do once before)

We have another semi-regular too. He's American, intimidating and generally just unpleasant to deal with. I'm his favourite cashier (when I'm on till) because even though he doesn't acknowledge any of our existences EVER, I'm still nice to him. He's also pretty fucking racist because about 85% of our team is made up of non-white people. So of course he ONLY goes to the white people (this is attested to by myself, since I'm his favourite and a few other people that have dealt with him). I've taken to just jumping off till if I see him come through & I'm the only white person on the team at that time just to cause him some discomfort. Though to be fair, half of the old people we get are passively racist in this way too because we'll have say five tills open with 4 manned by non-white people, and they'd rather queue at the 1 that has a white person than go to the other ones. It gets sickening after awhile because you know they don't do it consciously it's a prejudice thing of 'a white person will be polite to me so I'll go to them'

It also comes down to, it's my job and a $10,000 fine or a person getting alcohol (when THEY SHOULDN'T BE) - I've had to turn down people for alcohol just because I ask them for I.D. and they don't have any. It's laughable when they get angry because you managed to drive here... You should have your driver's licence on you. As much as I like my coworkers and most of the regulars, sometimes this job just sucks the life out of me.

I've also got a close friend who is having an affair with another married coworker from a different department & every week she comes to me with sob stories about how he wouldn't buy her something or how he doesn't have enough time for her.... BITCH HE'S MARRIED WITH KIDS.

TL;DR Bitchy coworker would rather drown her liver than work but resents my promotion to Duty Manager that was caused by her calling out anyway. Customers that shop at a 'Artisan' store are mostly middle-class assholes that don't mind blowing $300 on a week's worth of food. Trainee full-on abandoned her shift after experiencing 1 angry customer that I dealt with, with no notice of resignation either. Close friend is also having affair with married coworker and keeps complaining about not spending enough time together, married coworker has a Marriage and Kids.

[chloesimpson491]

About Me

Hello There! My name is Chloe, and I am a upcoming graduate from San Diego State University, graduating with a Bachelors in Hospitality and Tourism Management. I am originally from Florida, and moved here in 2013 to to attend SDSU.

When I’m not working or studying (which is 80% of my week), you can find me in the saddle, reading, going to the beach, hanging out with my wonderful group of friends, in the saddle, or staring at my horse and asking him who’s a good boy.

I have a strong passion for all 3 of the emphasis’ here at SDSU, and ultimately decided on hotel operations (changing from events) after I started working at the Pendry. My passion for restaurants comes from my strong background and experience in restaurants and bars; it’s what I’ve been doing since my junior year of high school and I just find bartending and serving so fun (on most days…..) and the flexible schedule has always been important to me, as I strongly believe in a good work life balance. I have a passion for the events side of hospitality, as I am definitely “a planner”. I keep my very detailed, color-coded agenda with me at all times, and am always coordinating the outings of my friends. My passion for equestrian sports led me to interest in the sports events sector of event planning.

After landing a job at the brand new, shiny penny of downtown The Pendry, I changed my emphasis to hotel operations. My hotel has all three of these sectors: phenomenal food and beverage outlets, a high … of conventions and conferences, and the front office/ hotel operations.

I was honestly dreading working at the front desk for 398. I pursued receiving a position at The Pendry because I have always been drawn to opening new venues, as well as high-end, luxury spaces focused on design and asthetics, as well as impeccable guest service. Luckily, I knew a bartender at Fifth & Rose, our craft cocktail bar, who was able to pass along my resume to the Director of Front Office. After 6 long and harrowing interviews, I was offered my first non-food and bev position as a front desk agent. I immediately fell in love with the property (we have a champagne vending machine…how could you not!?) as well as-most importantly-my surrounding coworkers and leadership team. 

Now that I’ve been at the desk for a little over a year, (still bartending and serving on the side), I’m not sure the front office is for me in the long run, but I am very passionate about my property as well as it’s parent company of Montage International. The company culture is unlike any other workplace that I have experienced, and my leadership team exemplifies every positive leadership behavior I have learned about in this program. I think of every single coworker and manager very highly, and have great respect for them. The front office has not only taught me an abundant amount about hotel operations, but also about myself and my own leadership style and philosophy.

I have always thought of myself as a transformational leader, even before I knew what a transformational leader was. Much less that leadership theories even existed! Although, I think what is most efficient and what my preferred leadership philosophy is a mixture of multiple leadership styles. I am passionate about transformational and think this is incredibly important in the workplace, as there is nothing more rewarding than having a leader identify change that needs to be executed, and inspire and motivate the organization to instill a positive morale and culture. I like to think I exemplify these behaviors as I identify a problem or need for change when I see one, and like to boost the morale and energy of those around me. These behaviors that I partake in, I partake in because I have been on the other end of the stick more often than not – being under a leader who is less than stellar. Being “led” by someone who is not a leader, to say the least, in my experience makes a place of employment a unfavorable & nugatory place.  Associates shouldn’t feel dull, not cared about, or insignificant in their place of employment. I strive with my leadership skills to never let this negative energy seep into a work place. As I mentioned, I believe a cocktail of leadership styles is most effective. While I am mainly passionate about transformational leadership, I do think transactional is effective in some organizations or situations. Those days where there’s so many things going on, you have a long to-do list, have to prioritize what is most important – that’s when I like transactional leadership. We’ve had many days like this at the Pendry, with a full house departing and a full house arriving, and of course 12 things go wrong and there’s 17 guests upset for who knows what. I find myself more task-oriented during these stressful times, focusing on efficiently and effectively producing results.

I began leadership at a young age – being 16/17 leading a team of girls that were hosting at a high-end restaurant. As this was my first job, it absolutely drew me out of my comfort zone and helped me find my niche in the food & bev industry. I improved my interpersonal communication, professional, and strategic implementation skills. Coordinating reservations and turning tables was intense and challenging work, and managing young girls that were also my friends was just as challenging. After I moved to the Melting Pot San Diego, I started in a leadership role over the servers there, as I was the most senior server and was in charge of training new hires and implementing best practices on busy nights.

My freshmen/sophomore year of SDSU I wasn’t a HTM major, but a International Business major until I discovered our brilliant program. I had little to no leadership skills beside “work leadership” -  I had no motivation or time management skills or self discipline, but I was really good at procrastination. My grades and motivation to be successful at school suffered. Once I realized I wasn’t going to pass a few classes, the following semester I worked harder at my GEs. I didn’t miss as many assignments, and studied farther in advance for tests. My GEs were hard for me, and I was trying as hard as I could, but not making the grades I wanted, which was mentally hard on me. I kept thinking, “If I’m trying as hard as I can but not succeeding, what’s the point?” I somehow made it through passing my under division, and discovered the hospitality program. In 201 with Rob Spooner, I immediately felt at home and passionate about the material. I wanted to go to class, I wanted to do the assignments and get to know my professors. Luckily, I was able to overcome the challenge of being in the wrong major and not being in my “place” at SDSU, and somehow talked Carl into letting me into the major. My junior year was when I really got involved with HTM and SDSU, and it all took off from there.

 During my junior year of sdsu, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone to become more involved with the program. I took 5-6 classes each semester, challenging my self-discipline and time management skills. I volunteered with Christina to assist in the orientation for transfer students, welcoming them into their new school and “home”, and advised them on classes on professors. This experience, although a short one, again was uncomfortable talking with students I had never met, but ultimating was rewarding as I was welcoming in newcomers and giving them advice on the program and their classes. Leaving, I felt as positive, and successful as a leader coaching and motivating these students to reach their highest potential within the HTM program, and giving them advice on professors and how to succeed. This experience & growing out of my comfort zone became more natural, and absolutely refined my interpersonal communication, professionalism, and coaching.

301 was a challenging course for leadership. The facilitations and simulations again, pushed me out of my comfort zone and challenged our groups to think innovatively about how to tackle our assignments and presentations. Most group projects I had had before 301 were simple – researching a topic and splitting up the presentation. Easy. 301 was a whole new world, which I dispised at the beginning and appreciated at the conclusion. The simulations forced the students to think creatively and innovatively, take on a leadership position concerning integrity, humility, and “walking the talk”. We held each other accountable and all did our part, motivated each other and praised each other.

To summarize my highlights, I believe I have refined my personal leadership traits and theories through my extensive work experience with less than stellar leaders. They have taught me what not to be as a leader.

Overcoming the challenges of being a freshmen in college and struggling to succeed, and somehow making my way into the HT program gave me a new perspective on time management, grit and dedication. Transforming to not trying hard enough and procrastination in my first two years, led me to a program that I love, and led to being involved with professors, peers, and extracurriculars, which pushed me out of my comfort zone and helped shape and mold me as a professional individual and a leader.

I will be sharing with you my leadership experience in the HTM world, promising pitfalls of my current front desk agent chronicles, and industry connections concerning professors I’ve bonded with here, as well as the many connections I have through the Pendry.

[shotbydalonewolf]

my manager won’t stop talking about her romantic problems, not eating at the office Christmas lunch, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My manager won’t leave me alone about her romantic problems

My senior manager recently left her husband for another man. This new relationship is very unstable in that they split up on an almost weekly basis. I’ve known my manager for over 20 years, but she has only recently come to work in our team. When she and the new man split up, it is always his decision and she takes it really badly and it severely affects things at work. She will tell everyone about her problems and regularly posts about it on social media. She has called me at home in a state and I’ve spent hours with her trying to console her. But now I’m beginning to feel smothered by her, she won’t leave me alone outside of work, and me and my colleagues are literally carrying her at work and we get no thanks from her for it. I’m at the end of my tether.

Stop answering her calls outside of work. Or if you do answer and she wants to talk about her relationship problems, explain you’re unable to talk (you’re walking into a movie theater / just met a friend for dinner / entertaining guests / running out the door to meet your sister) and will see her the next day at work.

At work, if she tries to lay relationship talk on you, say this: “I know you’re going through a tough time, but since you’re my boss, I don’t feel right being a sounding board for this anymore. I’m sorry I can’t help. I hope you have people outside of work you can talk with.” And then if she continues to try it after that: “Sorry, I’ve got to finish up the X project — I hope things get better for you!” (Accompany that with appropriate body language like turning back to your computer and continuing to work.) And if it still continues: “Jane, I’m so sorry you’re having a tough time, but I’m not comfortable being your sounding board at work. Now that you’re my boss, I feel strongly that we need to have different boundaries in place. I know I didn’t say that earlier, but I’ve realized that I should have. I hope you understand.” And encourage your coworkers to set boundaries with her too.

Regarding carrying her at work — one option is simply to stop. By covering her work for her, you’re enabling her in not doing it herself. Step back from that and see if she steps up (and if she doesn’t, let her deal with the consequences of that).

2. I’m nervous about not eating much at the office Christmas lunch

I’m coming up to my first Christmas at my current company, and recently found out about their end-of-year tradition: Close early on the final Friday, head into the central business district’s premier restaurant precinct, and enjoy a long (and at 1-2 hours, presumably multi-course) Christmas luncheon.

Here’s the problem: several years ago I was struck down by an unidentified post-viral gastric condition. While the symptoms eventually stopped, six months of near-starvation had a lasting effect: I now eat like the proverbial bird — a SMALL bird. Less than a child, probably. An entirely adequate lunch for me is half a sandwich and two-thirds of a muesli bar … if I’m on my own. I tend to eat even less in company due to self-consciousness nobbling my appetite. A slap-up meal of the type I’m expected to attend is impossible.

I really do NOT want to broadcast my private (and unhelpfully vague) medical history to the entire office, but I’m not sure what else to do. It’s a very small company — no crowd to hide amongst — so if I go, my “abnormal” eating patterns will be blatantly apparent to everyone. I’m afraid that the suspicion of anorexia or another eating disorder will cross at least one person’s mind — a suspicion that’ll be hard to deny without sounding like I’m, well, in denial. (Can’t claim dietary restrictions as I’ve discreetly picked my way though several office bring-a-plates without demur.)

If I can manage not to go, I’ll feel obliged to offer some kind of reason for skipping it … but since I’ve been given ample notice to avoid scheduling clashes, have no family to serve as an excuse, and am known not to have travel plans, I can’t think of one. Either way (go, and nibble at half a salad; or don’t go at all), I’d be concerned about the etiquette implications of seeming to spurn the company’s hospitality. Possibly I’m overthinking this, but I’m new-ish to the workforce and feeling rather lost. What’s the best way out of this dilemma?

You are indeed over-thinking it! Go, eat what you want, and push the rest of your food around on your plate (a time-honored tradition to disguise the fact that you’re not eating it). If anyone questions you about it, say that you ate a late lunch or are on medication that’s giving you a small appetite or “I didn’t have a big appetite tonight but didn’t want to miss this” or even just “I’m not sure! The food is great — just not super hungry right now.” No polite person will scrutinize what you eat after that kind of quick explanation. And definitely don’t worry about seeming to spurn your company’s hospitality — by showing up and being pleasant, you are meeting your obligations there. You aren’t obligated to clean your plate.

That said, assuming you’re going to be working with these people for a while and there will likely be other events, if you’re comfortable with it, it might make your life easier to just say, “I have a medical condition where I can’t eat a lot at one time.” You don’t need to disclose more than that (and if people ask questions, it’s fine to say, “Oh, it’s boring” or “I don’t like to talk about it at work”), but it might help you not have to worry about dealing with this each time.

3. Applying for jobs when you don’t meet all the qualifications

I am a senior in college who is looking for a post graduate job, specifically in the museum development field. I am ambitious, go to a top school, and have a high GPA. I have had many prestigious museum internships over the past few years, which have all resulted in glowing recommendations from my supervisors. At the end of my most recent internship, I was told that I was perfectly qualified for a development assistant position.

My father often sends me job listings he finds online.. He recently sent me a bunch, most of which were for associates (the next level up). They all requested somewhere between 1-4 years of experience in various ranges (1-3, 2-4, etc). I have rarely seen assistant positions available. I suspect that in smaller museums, they may not even exist. My experience in development only constitutes a 3-month internship, but it was with one of the best museums in the country, I have extensive museum experience in other internship positions, and all the required tasks on the listing look quite easy for me. I would apply instantly, if not for the requested years of experience. (FYI, they do not request things like “demonstrated experience with ______.” I understand I cannot provide that.)

My father seems to think this is imposter syndrome, and keeps telling me that I’m smart and accomplished (which I do know I am) and should just go for it. But I am afraid I will look silly if I apply for a position for which I do not have requested experience. Additionally, I do not want to call upon my reference from last summer for such a position.

I’d apply for the ones asking for 1-3 years of experience (or 1-X) and see what happens. Worst case scenario, you don’t get interviews for any of them and then you’ll have more data about what’s feasible. But you’re not going to offend anyone or look ridiculous; people apply for jobs all the time that they’re not fully qualified for, and anyone who’s done more than a week of hiring work isn’t going to find that weird. And don’t worry about wasting your reference’s time, since if they call her, it’s because they’re seriously considering you. They’re not going to call a reference for someone who’s not even in the ballpark.

You should also talk to your reference and other people in your network who work in your field and ask them to weigh in on what level of position you should be targeting. You might find out you’re being too cautious (or you might find out that you’re not, which would also be good to know).

4. How do I motivate my employees?

I’m a 24-year-old manager of two employees who are both in their 30s. As you can imagine, my confidence is challenged pretty often on my ability to manage them, but I do know I’ve got the right skillset.

My biggest concern at the moment is motivating the team. I always feel uncomfortable throwing motivational ideas at them because I feel like they can see through my attempts to get them to work harder. How do I go about motivating them to feel ready to take on the day without feeling like an idiot?

Do they need motivating, or do you just think that’s something you’re supposed to be doing? Generally when people need motivating, it’s an indicator that something is wrong with the situation — either you have the wrong people for the job, or something in their environment is de-motivating them (like unreasonable expectations or terrible pay/benefits/management/culture). Generally, if you have the right people on your team and a decent environment, they’ll be motivated if you’re doing your job well — meaning that you’ve given them meaningful roles with real responsibility, ensured that they’re making progress toward meaningful goals, and recognized them for good work (both via feedback and via their compensation).

If there’s nothing in the environment that would de-motivate a reasonable person and you’ve laid out clear and reasonable expectations about how you want them to operate, and you’re having trouble getting them to hit the level of productivity and results you need (and you’ve told them that, to no avail), then I’d look at whether you have (a) reasonable expectations and (b) the right people for the work. But usually a manager shouldn’t need to get people ready to take on the day.

5. Can I ask our HR consultant for advice on leaving?

I am an office and HR coordinator for a small (under 20 employees) consulting firm. I’m the only HR person in the company and had no previous experience in HR when I started here 12 years ago as the first employee in a tiny start-up. Because we don’t have our own HR department, we have an HR consultant who we contact when we don’t know how to best (or legally) handle a situation. The company we use is one of the oldest and most respected HR companies in our town.

After 12 years here, I’m afraid I’m getting burned out. And the ownership is making a lot of decisions that are disappointing to me. So, I’m feeling like it might be time to look for another job. But, I would also like some “career counseling” to get an objective opinion on the employment situation that I’m currently in. Maybe it’s not as bad as I think it is and I’m just too emotionally involved since I’ve been here so long? Maybe I need better coping skills? Or maybe, I really do have a bad boss who isn’t going to change (I think I’ve read all of your posts on that topic).

I would really like to reach out to our HR consultant for career counseling and possibly career placement. But, I don’t know if this would put them in an awkward position or not. Do you think it’s appropriate for me to contact their career placement person, who I know and have worked with, on my own for my own job search?

If I go through with this, I’d like to use this company specifically because 1) they have a great reputation and do great work, and 2) they know my company and I think could give me an honest assessment.

Yeah, you’d be putting them in an awkward situation since they need to have some loyalty to your employer, who could be irked if it came out later that they’d helped you leave. That’s not necessarily reasonable (your employer doesn’t own you and you’re allowed to seek help in leaving), but it’s common enough that your HR company could understandably feel uncomfortable about it. And if nothing else, they might feel uncomfortable keeping a personnel-related secret from your company.

That’s not to say that this kind of thing never goes smoothly. It sometimes does. But it depends on the philosophy of the person you’d be contacting, and that can be tough to know ahead of time.

You may also like:

my boss is smothering me

I have an inappropriate coworker and our mothers are friends

I’m sick of being the office therapist

my manager won’t stop talking about her romantic problems, not eating at the office Christmas lunch, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8265703 http://ift.tt/2BtfBQr via IFTTT

[s-kinnyheaven]

my manager won’t stop talking about her romantic problems, not eating at the office Christmas lunch, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My manager won’t leave me alone about her romantic problems

My senior manager recently left her husband for another man. This new relationship is very unstable in that they split up on an almost weekly basis. I’ve known my manager for over 20 years, but she has only recently come to work in our team. When she and the new man split up, it is always his decision and she takes it really badly and it severely affects things at work. She will tell everyone about her problems and regularly posts about it on social media. She has called me at home in a state and I’ve spent hours with her trying to console her. But now I’m beginning to feel smothered by her, she won’t leave me alone outside of work, and me and my colleagues are literally carrying her at work and we get no thanks from her for it. I’m at the end of my tether.

Stop answering her calls outside of work. Or if you do answer and she wants to talk about her relationship problems, explain you’re unable to talk (you’re walking into a movie theater / just met a friend for dinner / entertaining guests / running out the door to meet your sister) and will see her the next day at work.

At work, if she tries to lay relationship talk on you, say this: “I know you’re going through a tough time, but since you’re my boss, I don’t feel right being a sounding board for this anymore. I’m sorry I can’t help. I hope you have people outside of work you can talk with.” And then if she continues to try it after that: “Sorry, I’ve got to finish up the X project — I hope things get better for you!” (Accompany that with appropriate body language like turning back to your computer and continuing to work.) And if it still continues: “Jane, I’m so sorry you’re having a tough time, but I’m not comfortable being your sounding board at work. Now that you’re my boss, I feel strongly that we need to have different boundaries in place. I know I didn’t say that earlier, but I’ve realized that I should have. I hope you understand.” And encourage your coworkers to set boundaries with her too.

Regarding carrying her at work — one option is simply to stop. By covering her work for her, you’re enabling her in not doing it herself. Step back from that and see if she steps up (and if she doesn’t, let her deal with the consequences of that).

2. I’m nervous about not eating much at the office Christmas lunch

I’m coming up to my first Christmas at my current company, and recently found out about their end-of-year tradition: Close early on the final Friday, head into the central business district’s premier restaurant precinct, and enjoy a long (and at 1-2 hours, presumably multi-course) Christmas luncheon.

Here’s the problem: several years ago I was struck down by an unidentified post-viral gastric condition. While the symptoms eventually stopped, six months of near-starvation had a lasting effect: I now eat like the proverbial bird — a SMALL bird. Less than a child, probably. An entirely adequate lunch for me is half a sandwich and two-thirds of a muesli bar … if I’m on my own. I tend to eat even less in company due to self-consciousness nobbling my appetite. A slap-up meal of the type I’m expected to attend is impossible.

I really do NOT want to broadcast my private (and unhelpfully vague) medical history to the entire office, but I’m not sure what else to do. It’s a very small company — no crowd to hide amongst — so if I go, my “abnormal” eating patterns will be blatantly apparent to everyone. I’m afraid that the suspicion of anorexia or another eating disorder will cross at least one person’s mind — a suspicion that’ll be hard to deny without sounding like I’m, well, in denial. (Can’t claim dietary restrictions as I’ve discreetly picked my way though several office bring-a-plates without demur.)

If I can manage not to go, I’ll feel obliged to offer some kind of reason for skipping it … but since I’ve been given ample notice to avoid scheduling clashes, have no family to serve as an excuse, and am known not to have travel plans, I can’t think of one. Either way (go, and nibble at half a salad; or don’t go at all), I’d be concerned about the etiquette implications of seeming to spurn the company’s hospitality. Possibly I’m overthinking this, but I’m new-ish to the workforce and feeling rather lost. What’s the best way out of this dilemma?

You are indeed over-thinking it! Go, eat what you want, and push the rest of your food around on your plate (a time-honored tradition to disguise the fact that you’re not eating it). If anyone questions you about it, say that you ate a late lunch or are on medication that’s giving you a small appetite or “I didn’t have a big appetite tonight but didn’t want to miss this” or even just “I’m not sure! The food is great — just not super hungry right now.” No polite person will scrutinize what you eat after that kind of quick explanation. And definitely don’t worry about seeming to spurn your company’s hospitality — by showing up and being pleasant, you are meeting your obligations there. You aren’t obligated to clean your plate.

That said, assuming you’re going to be working with these people for a while and there will likely be other events, if you’re comfortable with it, it might make your life easier to just say, “I have a medical condition where I can’t eat a lot at one time.” You don’t need to disclose more than that (and if people ask questions, it’s fine to say, “Oh, it’s boring” or “I don’t like to talk about it at work”), but it might help you not have to worry about dealing with this each time.

3. Applying for jobs when you don’t meet all the qualifications

I am a senior in college who is looking for a post graduate job, specifically in the museum development field. I am ambitious, go to a top school, and have a high GPA. I have had many prestigious museum internships over the past few years, which have all resulted in glowing recommendations from my supervisors. At the end of my most recent internship, I was told that I was perfectly qualified for a development assistant position.

My father often sends me job listings he finds online.. He recently sent me a bunch, most of which were for associates (the next level up). They all requested somewhere between 1-4 years of experience in various ranges (1-3, 2-4, etc). I have rarely seen assistant positions available. I suspect that in smaller museums, they may not even exist. My experience in development only constitutes a 3-month internship, but it was with one of the best museums in the country, I have extensive museum experience in other internship positions, and all the required tasks on the listing look quite easy for me. I would apply instantly, if not for the requested years of experience. (FYI, they do not request things like “demonstrated experience with ______.” I understand I cannot provide that.)

My father seems to think this is imposter syndrome, and keeps telling me that I’m smart and accomplished (which I do know I am) and should just go for it. But I am afraid I will look silly if I apply for a position for which I do not have requested experience. Additionally, I do not want to call upon my reference from last summer for such a position.

I’d apply for the ones asking for 1-3 years of experience (or 1-X) and see what happens. Worst case scenario, you don’t get interviews for any of them and then you’ll have more data about what’s feasible. But you’re not going to offend anyone or look ridiculous; people apply for jobs all the time that they’re not fully qualified for, and anyone who’s done more than a week of hiring work isn’t going to find that weird. And don’t worry about wasting your reference’s time, since if they call her, it’s because they’re seriously considering you. They’re not going to call a reference for someone who’s not even in the ballpark.

You should also talk to your reference and other people in your network who work in your field and ask them to weigh in on what level of position you should be targeting. You might find out you’re being too cautious (or you might find out that you’re not, which would also be good to know).

4. How do I motivate my employees?

I’m a 24-year-old manager of two employees who are both in their 30s. As you can imagine, my confidence is challenged pretty often on my ability to manage them, but I do know I’ve got the right skillset.

My biggest concern at the moment is motivating the team. I always feel uncomfortable throwing motivational ideas at them because I feel like they can see through my attempts to get them to work harder. How do I go about motivating them to feel ready to take on the day without feeling like an idiot?

Do they need motivating, or do you just think that’s something you’re supposed to be doing? Generally when people need motivating, it’s an indicator that something is wrong with the situation — either you have the wrong people for the job, or something in their environment is de-motivating them (like unreasonable expectations or terrible pay/benefits/management/culture). Generally, if you have the right people on your team and a decent environment, they’ll be motivated if you’re doing your job well — meaning that you’ve given them meaningful roles with real responsibility, ensured that they’re making progress toward meaningful goals, and recognized them for good work (both via feedback and via their compensation).

If there’s nothing in the environment that would de-motivate a reasonable person and you’ve laid out clear and reasonable expectations about how you want them to operate, and you’re having trouble getting them to hit the level of productivity and results you need (and you’ve told them that, to no avail), then I’d look at whether you have (a) reasonable expectations and (b) the right people for the work. But usually a manager shouldn’t need to get people ready to take on the day.

5. Can I ask our HR consultant for advice on leaving?

I am an office and HR coordinator for a small (under 20 employees) consulting firm. I’m the only HR person in the company and had no previous experience in HR when I started here 12 years ago as the first employee in a tiny start-up. Because we don’t have our own HR department, we have an HR consultant who we contact when we don’t know how to best (or legally) handle a situation. The company we use is one of the oldest and most respected HR companies in our town.

After 12 years here, I’m afraid I’m getting burned out. And the ownership is making a lot of decisions that are disappointing to me. So, I’m feeling like it might be time to look for another job. But, I would also like some “career counseling” to get an objective opinion on the employment situation that I’m currently in. Maybe it’s not as bad as I think it is and I’m just too emotionally involved since I’ve been here so long? Maybe I need better coping skills? Or maybe, I really do have a bad boss who isn’t going to change (I think I’ve read all of your posts on that topic).

I would really like to reach out to our HR consultant for career counseling and possibly career placement. But, I don’t know if this would put them in an awkward position or not. Do you think it’s appropriate for me to contact their career placement person, who I know and have worked with, on my own for my own job search?

If I go through with this, I’d like to use this company specifically because 1) they have a great reputation and do great work, and 2) they know my company and I think could give me an honest assessment.

Yeah, you’d be putting them in an awkward situation since they need to have some loyalty to your employer, who could be irked if it came out later that they’d helped you leave. That’s not necessarily reasonable (your employer doesn’t own you and you’re allowed to seek help in leaving), but it’s common enough that your HR company could understandably feel uncomfortable about it. And if nothing else, they might feel uncomfortable keeping a personnel-related secret from your company.

That’s not to say that this kind of thing never goes smoothly. It sometimes does. But it depends on the philosophy of the person you’d be contacting, and that can be tough to know ahead of time.

You may also like:

my boss is smothering me

I have an inappropriate coworker and our mothers are friends

I’m sick of being the office therapist

my manager won’t stop talking about her romantic problems, not eating at the office Christmas lunch, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8265703 http://ift.tt/2BtfBQr via IFTTT

[shmow-zows]

my manager won’t stop talking about her romantic problems, not eating at the office Christmas lunch, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My manager won’t leave me alone about her romantic problems

My senior manager recently left her husband for another man. This new relationship is very unstable in that they split up on an almost weekly basis. I’ve known my manager for over 20 years, but she has only recently come to work in our team. When she and the new man split up, it is always his decision and she takes it really badly and it severely affects things at work. She will tell everyone about her problems and regularly posts about it on social media. She has called me at home in a state and I’ve spent hours with her trying to console her. But now I’m beginning to feel smothered by her, she won’t leave me alone outside of work, and me and my colleagues are literally carrying her at work and we get no thanks from her for it. I’m at the end of my tether.

Stop answering her calls outside of work. Or if you do answer and she wants to talk about her relationship problems, explain you’re unable to talk (you’re walking into a movie theater / just met a friend for dinner / entertaining guests / running out the door to meet your sister) and will see her the next day at work.

At work, if she tries to lay relationship talk on you, say this: “I know you’re going through a tough time, but since you’re my boss, I don’t feel right being a sounding board for this anymore. I’m sorry I can’t help. I hope you have people outside of work you can talk with.” And then if she continues to try it after that: “Sorry, I’ve got to finish up the X project — I hope things get better for you!” (Accompany that with appropriate body language like turning back to your computer and continuing to work.) And if it still continues: “Jane, I’m so sorry you’re having a tough time, but I’m not comfortable being your sounding board at work. Now that you’re my boss, I feel strongly that we need to have different boundaries in place. I know I didn’t say that earlier, but I’ve realized that I should have. I hope you understand.” And encourage your coworkers to set boundaries with her too.

Regarding carrying her at work — one option is simply to stop. By covering her work for her, you’re enabling her in not doing it herself. Step back from that and see if she steps up (and if she doesn’t, let her deal with the consequences of that).

2. I’m nervous about not eating much at the office Christmas lunch

I’m coming up to my first Christmas at my current company, and recently found out about their end-of-year tradition: Close early on the final Friday, head into the central business district’s premier restaurant precinct, and enjoy a long (and at 1-2 hours, presumably multi-course) Christmas luncheon.

Here’s the problem: several years ago I was struck down by an unidentified post-viral gastric condition. While the symptoms eventually stopped, six months of near-starvation had a lasting effect: I now eat like the proverbial bird — a SMALL bird. Less than a child, probably. An entirely adequate lunch for me is half a sandwich and two-thirds of a muesli bar … if I’m on my own. I tend to eat even less in company due to self-consciousness nobbling my appetite. A slap-up meal of the type I’m expected to attend is impossible.

I really do NOT want to broadcast my private (and unhelpfully vague) medical history to the entire office, but I’m not sure what else to do. It’s a very small company — no crowd to hide amongst — so if I go, my “abnormal” eating patterns will be blatantly apparent to everyone. I’m afraid that the suspicion of anorexia or another eating disorder will cross at least one person’s mind — a suspicion that’ll be hard to deny without sounding like I’m, well, in denial. (Can’t claim dietary restrictions as I’ve discreetly picked my way though several office bring-a-plates without demur.)

If I can manage not to go, I’ll feel obliged to offer some kind of reason for skipping it … but since I’ve been given ample notice to avoid scheduling clashes, have no family to serve as an excuse, and am known not to have travel plans, I can’t think of one. Either way (go, and nibble at half a salad; or don’t go at all), I’d be concerned about the etiquette implications of seeming to spurn the company’s hospitality. Possibly I’m overthinking this, but I’m new-ish to the workforce and feeling rather lost. What’s the best way out of this dilemma?

You are indeed over-thinking it! Go, eat what you want, and push the rest of your food around on your plate (a time-honored tradition to disguise the fact that you’re not eating it). If anyone questions you about it, say that you ate a late lunch or are on medication that’s giving you a small appetite or “I didn’t have a big appetite tonight but didn’t want to miss this” or even just “I’m not sure! The food is great — just not super hungry right now.” No polite person will scrutinize what you eat after that kind of quick explanation. And definitely don’t worry about seeming to spurn your company’s hospitality — by showing up and being pleasant, you are meeting your obligations there. You aren’t obligated to clean your plate.

That said, assuming you’re going to be working with these people for a while and there will likely be other events, if you’re comfortable with it, it might make your life easier to just say, “I have a medical condition where I can’t eat a lot at one time.” You don’t need to disclose more than that (and if people ask questions, it’s fine to say, “Oh, it’s boring” or “I don’t like to talk about it at work”), but it might help you not have to worry about dealing with this each time.

3. Applying for jobs when you don’t meet all the qualifications

I am a senior in college who is looking for a post graduate job, specifically in the museum development field. I am ambitious, go to a top school, and have a high GPA. I have had many prestigious museum internships over the past few years, which have all resulted in glowing recommendations from my supervisors. At the end of my most recent internship, I was told that I was perfectly qualified for a development assistant position.

My father often sends me job listings he finds online.. He recently sent me a bunch, most of which were for associates (the next level up). They all requested somewhere between 1-4 years of experience in various ranges (1-3, 2-4, etc). I have rarely seen assistant positions available. I suspect that in smaller museums, they may not even exist. My experience in development only constitutes a 3-month internship, but it was with one of the best museums in the country, I have extensive museum experience in other internship positions, and all the required tasks on the listing look quite easy for me. I would apply instantly, if not for the requested years of experience. (FYI, they do not request things like “demonstrated experience with ______.” I understand I cannot provide that.)

My father seems to think this is imposter syndrome, and keeps telling me that I’m smart and accomplished (which I do know I am) and should just go for it. But I am afraid I will look silly if I apply for a position for which I do not have requested experience. Additionally, I do not want to call upon my reference from last summer for such a position.

I’d apply for the ones asking for 1-3 years of experience (or 1-X) and see what happens. Worst case scenario, you don’t get interviews for any of them and then you’ll have more data about what’s feasible. But you’re not going to offend anyone or look ridiculous; people apply for jobs all the time that they’re not fully qualified for, and anyone who’s done more than a week of hiring work isn’t going to find that weird. And don’t worry about wasting your reference’s time, since if they call her, it’s because they’re seriously considering you. They’re not going to call a reference for someone who’s not even in the ballpark.

You should also talk to your reference and other people in your network who work in your field and ask them to weigh in on what level of position you should be targeting. You might find out you’re being too cautious (or you might find out that you’re not, which would also be good to know).

4. How do I motivate my employees?

I’m a 24-year-old manager of two employees who are both in their 30s. As you can imagine, my confidence is challenged pretty often on my ability to manage them, but I do know I’ve got the right skillset.

My biggest concern at the moment is motivating the team. I always feel uncomfortable throwing motivational ideas at them because I feel like they can see through my attempts to get them to work harder. How do I go about motivating them to feel ready to take on the day without feeling like an idiot?

Do they need motivating, or do you just think that’s something you’re supposed to be doing? Generally when people need motivating, it’s an indicator that something is wrong with the situation — either you have the wrong people for the job, or something in their environment is de-motivating them (like unreasonable expectations or terrible pay/benefits/management/culture). Generally, if you have the right people on your team and a decent environment, they’ll be motivated if you’re doing your job well — meaning that you’ve given them meaningful roles with real responsibility, ensured that they’re making progress toward meaningful goals, and recognized them for good work (both via feedback and via their compensation).

If there’s nothing in the environment that would de-motivate a reasonable person and you’ve laid out clear and reasonable expectations about how you want them to operate, and you’re having trouble getting them to hit the level of productivity and results you need (and you’ve told them that, to no avail), then I’d look at whether you have (a) reasonable expectations and (b) the right people for the work. But usually a manager shouldn’t need to get people ready to take on the day.

5. Can I ask our HR consultant for advice on leaving?

I am an office and HR coordinator for a small (under 20 employees) consulting firm. I’m the only HR person in the company and had no previous experience in HR when I started here 12 years ago as the first employee in a tiny start-up. Because we don’t have our own HR department, we have an HR consultant who we contact when we don’t know how to best (or legally) handle a situation. The company we use is one of the oldest and most respected HR companies in our town.

After 12 years here, I’m afraid I’m getting burned out. And the ownership is making a lot of decisions that are disappointing to me. So, I’m feeling like it might be time to look for another job. But, I would also like some “career counseling” to get an objective opinion on the employment situation that I’m currently in. Maybe it’s not as bad as I think it is and I’m just too emotionally involved since I’ve been here so long? Maybe I need better coping skills? Or maybe, I really do have a bad boss who isn’t going to change (I think I’ve read all of your posts on that topic).

I would really like to reach out to our HR consultant for career counseling and possibly career placement. But, I don’t know if this would put them in an awkward position or not. Do you think it’s appropriate for me to contact their career placement person, who I know and have worked with, on my own for my own job search?

If I go through with this, I’d like to use this company specifically because 1) they have a great reputation and do great work, and 2) they know my company and I think could give me an honest assessment.

Yeah, you’d be putting them in an awkward situation since they need to have some loyalty to your employer, who could be irked if it came out later that they’d helped you leave. That’s not necessarily reasonable (your employer doesn’t own you and you’re allowed to seek help in leaving), but it’s common enough that your HR company could understandably feel uncomfortable about it. And if nothing else, they might feel uncomfortable keeping a personnel-related secret from your company.

That’s not to say that this kind of thing never goes smoothly. It sometimes does. But it depends on the philosophy of the person you’d be contacting, and that can be tough to know ahead of time.

You may also like:

my boss is smothering me

I have an inappropriate coworker and our mothers are friends

I’m sick of being the office therapist

my manager won’t stop talking about her romantic problems, not eating at the office Christmas lunch, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8265703 http://ift.tt/2BtfBQr via IFTTT

[willafigg]

my manager won’t stop talking about her romantic problems, not eating at the office Christmas lunch, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My manager won’t leave me alone about her romantic problems

My senior manager recently left her husband for another man. This new relationship is very unstable in that they split up on an almost weekly basis. I’ve known my manager for over 20 years, but she has only recently come to work in our team. When she and the new man split up, it is always his decision and she takes it really badly and it severely affects things at work. She will tell everyone about her problems and regularly posts about it on social media. She has called me at home in a state and I’ve spent hours with her trying to console her. But now I’m beginning to feel smothered by her, she won’t leave me alone outside of work, and me and my colleagues are literally carrying her at work and we get no thanks from her for it. I’m at the end of my tether.

Stop answering her calls outside of work. Or if you do answer and she wants to talk about her relationship problems, explain you’re unable to talk (you’re walking into a movie theater / just met a friend for dinner / entertaining guests / running out the door to meet your sister) and will see her the next day at work.

At work, if she tries to lay relationship talk on you, say this: “I know you’re going through a tough time, but since you’re my boss, I don’t feel right being a sounding board for this anymore. I’m sorry I can’t help. I hope you have people outside of work you can talk with.” And then if she continues to try it after that: “Sorry, I’ve got to finish up the X project — I hope things get better for you!” (Accompany that with appropriate body language like turning back to your computer and continuing to work.) And if it still continues: “Jane, I’m so sorry you’re having a tough time, but I’m not comfortable being your sounding board at work. Now that you’re my boss, I feel strongly that we need to have different boundaries in place. I know I didn’t say that earlier, but I’ve realized that I should have. I hope you understand.” And encourage your coworkers to set boundaries with her too.

Regarding carrying her at work — one option is simply to stop. By covering her work for her, you’re enabling her in not doing it herself. Step back from that and see if she steps up (and if she doesn’t, let her deal with the consequences of that).

2. I’m nervous about not eating much at the office Christmas lunch

I’m coming up to my first Christmas at my current company, and recently found out about their end-of-year tradition: Close early on the final Friday, head into the central business district’s premier restaurant precinct, and enjoy a long (and at 1-2 hours, presumably multi-course) Christmas luncheon.

Here’s the problem: several years ago I was struck down by an unidentified post-viral gastric condition. While the symptoms eventually stopped, six months of near-starvation had a lasting effect: I now eat like the proverbial bird — a SMALL bird. Less than a child, probably. An entirely adequate lunch for me is half a sandwich and two-thirds of a muesli bar … if I’m on my own. I tend to eat even less in company due to self-consciousness nobbling my appetite. A slap-up meal of the type I’m expected to attend is impossible.

I really do NOT want to broadcast my private (and unhelpfully vague) medical history to the entire office, but I’m not sure what else to do. It’s a very small company — no crowd to hide amongst — so if I go, my “abnormal” eating patterns will be blatantly apparent to everyone. I’m afraid that the suspicion of anorexia or another eating disorder will cross at least one person’s mind — a suspicion that’ll be hard to deny without sounding like I’m, well, in denial. (Can’t claim dietary restrictions as I’ve discreetly picked my way though several office bring-a-plates without demur.)

If I can manage not to go, I’ll feel obliged to offer some kind of reason for skipping it … but since I’ve been given ample notice to avoid scheduling clashes, have no family to serve as an excuse, and am known not to have travel plans, I can’t think of one. Either way (go, and nibble at half a salad; or don’t go at all), I’d be concerned about the etiquette implications of seeming to spurn the company’s hospitality. Possibly I’m overthinking this, but I’m new-ish to the workforce and feeling rather lost. What’s the best way out of this dilemma?

You are indeed over-thinking it! Go, eat what you want, and push the rest of your food around on your plate (a time-honored tradition to disguise the fact that you’re not eating it). If anyone questions you about it, say that you ate a late lunch or are on medication that’s giving you a small appetite or “I didn’t have a big appetite tonight but didn’t want to miss this” or even just “I’m not sure! The food is great — just not super hungry right now.” No polite person will scrutinize what you eat after that kind of quick explanation. And definitely don’t worry about seeming to spurn your company’s hospitality — by showing up and being pleasant, you are meeting your obligations there. You aren’t obligated to clean your plate.

That said, assuming you’re going to be working with these people for a while and there will likely be other events, if you’re comfortable with it, it might make your life easier to just say, “I have a medical condition where I can’t eat a lot at one time.” You don’t need to disclose more than that (and if people ask questions, it’s fine to say, “Oh, it’s boring” or “I don’t like to talk about it at work”), but it might help you not have to worry about dealing with this each time.

3. Applying for jobs when you don’t meet all the qualifications

I am a senior in college who is looking for a post graduate job, specifically in the museum development field. I am ambitious, go to a top school, and have a high GPA. I have had many prestigious museum internships over the past few years, which have all resulted in glowing recommendations from my supervisors. At the end of my most recent internship, I was told that I was perfectly qualified for a development assistant position.

My father often sends me job listings he finds online.. He recently sent me a bunch, most of which were for associates (the next level up). They all requested somewhere between 1-4 years of experience in various ranges (1-3, 2-4, etc). I have rarely seen assistant positions available. I suspect that in smaller museums, they may not even exist. My experience in development only constitutes a 3-month internship, but it was with one of the best museums in the country, I have extensive museum experience in other internship positions, and all the required tasks on the listing look quite easy for me. I would apply instantly, if not for the requested years of experience. (FYI, they do not request things like “demonstrated experience with ______.” I understand I cannot provide that.)

My father seems to think this is imposter syndrome, and keeps telling me that I’m smart and accomplished (which I do know I am) and should just go for it. But I am afraid I will look silly if I apply for a position for which I do not have requested experience. Additionally, I do not want to call upon my reference from last summer for such a position.

I’d apply for the ones asking for 1-3 years of experience (or 1-X) and see what happens. Worst case scenario, you don’t get interviews for any of them and then you’ll have more data about what’s feasible. But you’re not going to offend anyone or look ridiculous; people apply for jobs all the time that they’re not fully qualified for, and anyone who’s done more than a week of hiring work isn’t going to find that weird. And don’t worry about wasting your reference’s time, since if they call her, it’s because they’re seriously considering you. They’re not going to call a reference for someone who’s not even in the ballpark.

You should also talk to your reference and other people in your network who work in your field and ask them to weigh in on what level of position you should be targeting. You might find out you’re being too cautious (or you might find out that you’re not, which would also be good to know).

4. How do I motivate my employees?

I’m a 24-year-old manager of two employees who are both in their 30s. As you can imagine, my confidence is challenged pretty often on my ability to manage them, but I do know I’ve got the right skillset.

My biggest concern at the moment is motivating the team. I always feel uncomfortable throwing motivational ideas at them because I feel like they can see through my attempts to get them to work harder. How do I go about motivating them to feel ready to take on the day without feeling like an idiot?

Do they need motivating, or do you just think that’s something you’re supposed to be doing? Generally when people need motivating, it’s an indicator that something is wrong with the situation — either you have the wrong people for the job, or something in their environment is de-motivating them (like unreasonable expectations or terrible pay/benefits/management/culture). Generally, if you have the right people on your team and a decent environment, they’ll be motivated if you’re doing your job well — meaning that you’ve given them meaningful roles with real responsibility, ensured that they’re making progress toward meaningful goals, and recognized them for good work (both via feedback and via their compensation).

If there’s nothing in the environment that would de-motivate a reasonable person and you’ve laid out clear and reasonable expectations about how you want them to operate, and you’re having trouble getting them to hit the level of productivity and results you need (and you’ve told them that, to no avail), then I’d look at whether you have (a) reasonable expectations and (b) the right people for the work. But usually a manager shouldn’t need to get people ready to take on the day.

5. Can I ask our HR consultant for advice on leaving?

I am an office and HR coordinator for a small (under 20 employees) consulting firm. I’m the only HR person in the company and had no previous experience in HR when I started here 12 years ago as the first employee in a tiny start-up. Because we don’t have our own HR department, we have an HR consultant who we contact when we don’t know how to best (or legally) handle a situation. The company we use is one of the oldest and most respected HR companies in our town.

After 12 years here, I’m afraid I’m getting burned out. And the ownership is making a lot of decisions that are disappointing to me. So, I’m feeling like it might be time to look for another job. But, I would also like some “career counseling” to get an objective opinion on the employment situation that I’m currently in. Maybe it’s not as bad as I think it is and I’m just too emotionally involved since I’ve been here so long? Maybe I need better coping skills? Or maybe, I really do have a bad boss who isn’t going to change (I think I’ve read all of your posts on that topic).

I would really like to reach out to our HR consultant for career counseling and possibly career placement. But, I don’t know if this would put them in an awkward position or not. Do you think it’s appropriate for me to contact their career placement person, who I know and have worked with, on my own for my own job search?

If I go through with this, I’d like to use this company specifically because 1) they have a great reputation and do great work, and 2) they know my company and I think could give me an honest assessment.

Yeah, you’d be putting them in an awkward situation since they need to have some loyalty to your employer, who could be irked if it came out later that they’d helped you leave. That’s not necessarily reasonable (your employer doesn’t own you and you’re allowed to seek help in leaving), but it’s common enough that your HR company could understandably feel uncomfortable about it. And if nothing else, they might feel uncomfortable keeping a personnel-related secret from your company.

That’s not to say that this kind of thing never goes smoothly. It sometimes does. But it depends on the philosophy of the person you’d be contacting, and that can be tough to know ahead of time.

You may also like:

my boss is smothering me

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my manager won’t stop talking about her romantic problems, not eating at the office Christmas lunch, and more was originally published by Alison Green on Ask a Manager.

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So, You Want to Work in Publishing: The Role of a Publicist

For aspiring authors everywhere, getting a publishing deal is a dream come true. They’ve slaved away at their manuscript to find that someone else also believes in their dream and wants to help it come to fruition. Beyond this crucial goal, there is often a shroud of mystery surrounding the process for the path to publication, and it has been my pleasure throughout my career to be a part of many steps an author takes on this journey.

But what about those of us that love books but perhaps do not want to write them? How can we work around literature and engage in an industry that many do not understand very well?

This is a guest post by Sara Wigal. Wigal began her literary career peddling her original illustrated stories at age 6 to her parents’ patient coworkers. She studied literature at the University of California, San Diego as an undergraduate and went on to receive her M.A. in Writing, Literature and Publishing at Emerson College. She’s worked on the agent side, in publishing houses, and with private publicity firms, and she brings her varied perspectives about all aspects of an author’s writing career to the team at JKS as a Senior Publicist. A friend to writers both personally and professionally, she enjoys reading most genres and loves channeling her creativity to spread the news about each wonderful book she encounters. Authors are inspired by her ideas and high-octane energy!

As a college student studying literature and a lifelong avid reader, I was always asked whether I wanted to be an English teacher (no), a journalist (no), or a novelist (no). I knew I loved reading books and writing essays for my major, but beyond that I really had no idea what shape my career might someday take. I didn’t know the publishing industry even existed, frankly, and had never heard about how books came to be, other than through the grit of each individual author. The network of supporting roles wasn’t glamorized to me, and I simply had no knowledge about what was out there.

In the last quarter of my college career, I was lucky to have had an academic internship with Writers House, a prestigious literary agency I had never heard of before. Working at an agency, I learned that querying an agent to find someone to represent him or her to publishing houses was often the first step for many writers seeking a traditional publishing deal. When I joyously shared my newfound career path (of course, I would be an agent too, one day!) my friends asked me if I was a book editor. “No,” I would respond, “I work for a literary agency.” This should have been my first clue that no one has any idea what any job titles are other than editor in the publishing universe. After all, I hadn’t known either!

Agents definitely do edit manuscripts—their job is to work with the authors to create the best possible version of a draft to showcase to editors at various publishing houses who will then present the author with a contract to publish their book. Then the agent negotiates that contract and advocates for its best implementation. I loved my time on the agency side and was honored to work on many books that have become bestsellers!

When my internship ran its due course, I worked for a small arts magazine publisher, and this time, I really was an editor. I realized quickly that magazine editing was not for me—long days writing and rewriting, choosing my writing assignments with good sales in mind, tweaking text, and checking for formatting issues … it rings a lot of peoples’ bells, but not mine. But when asked what my job was, people seemed to understand my job title, at least!

I moved along to work on my Masters in Writing, Literature and Publishing at Emerson College, where I could create publishing industry contacts and learn more about the various aspects of this befuddling industry that created the books I so loved being around. I was a magazine editor yet again as part of my graduate work-study, and enjoyed this job much more, though I knew it still was not for me. I began interning with a major publisher in their Children’s Book Marketing & Publicity department … and found my niche. Working with authors to cement their brand identities, communicating with the news media, and designing fun, supporting materials to catch the eyes of consumers and reviewers made my heart sing. I knew I loved agent work, but here was something else that was equally fun! And still, I was not an editor.

I had an opportunity to become a literary radio publicist while I was in school, working with Open Book Publicity for many years scheduling radio tours for authors. As a publicist, I crystallized my job description to what I firmly believe is the point of the job—to tell people about wonderful books. As a niche media publicist, I began forming relationships with radio producers and hosts, feeding them guests for their shows to entertain the masses and spread the good news about books to come. I had many conversations with friends and family who introduced me as a book editor, which as we all know now, is the only publishing job title people know about!

I am now a comprehensive media literary publicist, which means that I work with all forms of the media to attract coverage for my clients. After they’ve gotten the agent, accepted a publishing deal, worked with their actual book editor to finish revising the book, and it’s gone to print … that’s where the publicity team comes in. At the firm I am now a Senior Publicist at, JKS Communications, we hand tailor our campaigns for each author. Some want to do lots of bookstore events on top of radio interviews, TV coverage, and online and print media attention. Some come to us for assistance with their branding or digital marketing needs, like running Facebook ads. Still others come to us because they want to independently publish their book—they are embracing the growing sector of indie authors who have foregone the traditional route with an agent and publishing deal in order to connect with their fans directly.

My day-to-day varies dramatically depending on who my clients are and what stage of their campaign we are in. I stay engaged and keep boredom at bay by learning the author and his or her work, writing press kits, designing media tours, and choosing which contacts I will approach in hopes of gaining coverage, following up with these outlets, attending conference, assisting in acquiring new clients, planning creative projects like unique postcards and special book-themed swag, and so many other dynamic tasks. It’s public relations, but specialized to a literary client base, and it’s challenging and rewarding, every day.

My career arc has brought me firmly into an area I love, and it didn’t require me to be either an editor or an author. If you are thinking about entering the industry, some of the jobs you might consider include …

Agent

Editor

Marketing Associate

Publicist

HR Representative

Publisher

Sales Representative

Graphic Designer

Art Director

Accountant

Web Developer

Copyright Associate

Inventory Manager

Audiobook Narrator

Bookseller

… the list goes on!

The publishing industry has roles similar to those of most major types of companies and needs for many different skill sets beyond being an author or editor, so if you love books and want to work with them, you can do so in many of these “supporting” roles that are satisfying careers for book lovers all over.

The biggest literary agent database anywhere is the Guide to Literary Agents. Pick up the most recent updated edition online at a discount.

If you’re an agent looking to update your information or an author interested in contributing to the GLA blog or the next edition of the book, contact Writer’s Digest Books Managing Editor Cris Freese at cris.freese@fwmedia.com.

  The post So, You Want to Work in Publishing: The Role of a Publicist appeared first on WritersDigest.com.

from Writing Editor Blogs – WritersDigest.com http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/want-work-publishing-role-publicist