#Therapy is good in some cases but guys there's a serious cult around it.

[subconsciousmysteries]

why is reading about traumatic things never like "yo there's hope that you can heal yourself if you keep informing yourself on what's going on in your psyche and feeling your feelings and confiding in people you trust and building healthy habits"

why is it always "if you have any mental health issues at all you're inherently broken and you can't be fixed unless you go to therapy."

[incoherentbabblings]

Is it too late to ask for more asks? 'Cos if not how about (separate pls), 2, 20, 43, 70, 77, 87, 95, 100 if possible? Thanks, I love your writing and all your AO3 fics, they are just so well written.

Last one! Anon I won't do all of these, as some were requested in previous asks, and I have written a bit too much over this week, but here's one last one for this fic game. Consider it a preview? A taster? A possibility? Of a fic I wanna write over the winter. Subject to many changes certainly, or not being written at all. I dunno. Anyway, last one! The fics from the past two weeks will be going up on Ao3 over the weekend, thank you for playing guys!

Birthday Ask Game

70. “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

He found her in the library. He should have expected as much. It was where they first met, where they had spent most of their time getting to know each other. It was where Tim had developed a crush on her, guiltily broken up with his boyfriend, met her boyfriend, learned she was Robin, learned that her boyfriend was about six stops from crazy town, had their first kiss, first fight… honestly, how Miss Gordon hadn’t fired Stephanie and banned Tim for life was beyond him.

Still, his heart broke as he wandered up into the reference library, and found her crumpled up on the floor, tucked away and hidden in an aisle that was so rarely visited. She had a textbook of some kind open on her lap, and her cheeks were ruddy and wet.

“Steph…” Tim whispered.

She looked up at him, mournful but not surprised, then returned to reading. She spoke quietly, and Tim stood still at the end of the aisle, listening intently to her speech.

“You know, they once did group therapy sessions, at some Ivy League school, for people with narcissistic personality disorder. It took three weeks before their first names were mentioned. That’s how self-involved they can be. I mean, it’s not malicious always. Not in that group, definitely. It just never crossed their minds to ask what the other members were called. They’re not bad people. One person left and never came back because the group leader yawned, and they thought it was at them, despite them not even speaking at the time. They were so embarrassed at the thought that they were being made fun of. And we all think like that sometimes, right? That anxiety and worry at how others see you. But you try and remind yourself, the world and its people don’t revolve around you. You train yourself to learn perspective. So… it’s not that they’re bad people, it’s just… certain behaviours can crop up. And if no-one calls it out, or, worse, if they’re rewarded for thinking and behaving a certain way… why change? You know? It can lead to entitlement, and jealousy, and manipulative behaviour. You can’t control your emotions and how you feel a lot of the time, but you can… you can control your actions and behaviour. At least, that’s what I think.”

Tim moved to sit next to her. He closed the heavy book, then took her hand.

“You aren’t responsible for him. What he did. What he said. What he will keep doing.”

She nodded, gnawing her lip. She had a feeling Bruce would disagree. Weakly, she muttered a simple, “Yeah.”

Daringly, Tim reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He didn’t miss the way she leaned towards his hand as he did so.

“And no playing armchair psychologist Steph. No good comes of that. The guy is not your responsibility. Nothing you could have said or done would have made him… made him better.”

She screwed up her eyes. “Yeah.”

Tim looked up and down the aisle, hearing no-one else wandering around. “Did you come here for the quiet?” he asked. “Do you want to go back to your dorm?”

“I don’t feel safe there anymore.”

Stephanie scrubbed at her red eyes, and Tim's heart broke.

“Mine then?”

Her expression splintered, and she gave a horrible wheezy breath, air strangling in her throat. She gaped at him, disbelieving.

“You can’t want anything to do with me after all of this.”

“What? Will you consider me as crazy as one of your psychology case studies if I say yes?”

“That’s a shitty thing to say. It’s not a joke, Tim,” she chided. “Don’t say things like that. My ex, my… my job. You nearly died. For the sake of what?”

“For you.”

What he intended to be reassuring only further distressed her. “Stop it.”

“I’m not lying,” he urged, voice rising a bit too high. “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t think that I love you?”

“Oh! Oh! Oh my God.” She began to fidget, tossing the book far away from herself, fingers twitching wildly and gasping wildly, like there wasn't enough air in the room.

“I’m serious!”

Her eyes, pretty blue eyes, were as wide as dinner plates when she responded, voice a paradoxically loud hiss. “I know you are! But what on Earth are you doing saying it like that? You can't just... declare things in that manner!”

“What? Honestly?” He watched as Stephanie got to her feet, marching up and down the aisle. She stepped so firmly she was leaving imprints in the stained carpet. He remained cross legged on the floor. “I wouldn’t have put myself through that if I didn’t think you were worth it. I love you Steph. I want to help people. I think we can do that together.”

She stopped her incessant marching at the end of the aisle, and looked back at him. The affection was shining in her eyes.

“I love you too,” she whispered, only to resume marching. “But”-

“But…” Tim quietly repeated.

“But you two need to leave. We’re closing in five minutes.”

The pair jumped, Stephanie squeaking, Tim leaping to his feet. A wheelchair rolled into view at Stephanie’s end of the aisle, and Miss Gordon was staring at them, unimpressed.

“Bad breakups and tortured declarations are all very fitting of this setting, but it’s past ten. Go home already, Stephanie.”

“But Babs”—

Barbara blinked behind her thick glasses. Her hair was sticking up at odd angles, and there were distinct dark circles reaching her cheek bones. Seemed she’d had a rough day too.

“For the love of God, Stephanie. There’s a nice boy wanting to help you. Maybe say yes and stop overcomplicating things, hmm?”

The two women had some unspoken conversation, until finally, Barbara rolled backwards, away and out of sight.

“Get out of my library you two! Come on lovebirds! Hurry up!” she called. There was a threat in her tone, but also something maternal and good humoured too.

Stephanie whirled back around, having been forced into a decision by the college librarian. “I’ll go to yours if you promise no funny business.”

Tim shook his head and held up his hands. “I’ll be saint-like.”

Stephanie narrowed her eyes. “You’re not a member of some weird cult?”

“Not even Scientology.”

“You’re not interested in me because of… my-my boss… are you?”

Tim clicked his tongue. “He’s more of a negative than a perk to being with you. To be honest.”

“And you won’t go after any friends of mine if we have a fight?”

“Friends? Not… not more?”

Stephanie pressed her hands to her mouth and nose, cupping her face so he couldn’t see her blush.

“Stop flirting.”

Tim took off his denim jacket, holding out the arms for her. “Can’t help it. I said I’d be saint-like, not made of stone. Come on, it’s cold out.”

She observed him for a short while, a tentative hopefulness in her expression. Tim resolved to nurture it. Slowly, she nodded, smiling softly to herself, and allowed him to slide her arms into the sleeves. Pulling it in close, she inhaled deeply. Tim grinned jauntily.

“Let’s go home?”

She leapt into his arms. He caught her and squeezed tight. It felt like he had been doing the action for all his life, so easily and comfortably she fit in his hold. He could hear the smile in her voice when she replied,

“Home.”

[teachingtales]

How To...Be an Empath Without Being Overwhelmed

I saw this post and responded to it. I thought it may help others here. I asked the person if they wanted advice, they did, and so my reply is after the bold/italicized text. If you don’t know what an “empath” is, it’s someone who feels the emotions of others very strongly, and can find it overwhelming. The bold/italicized commentary directly below is a pretty standard example of what an empath experiences: 

Sometimes I feel like my heart is like 4 sizes too large because I care WAY too much about random things happening/people that I have literally no connection with. Part of it today is that I'm probably really close to my period, but I get like this a lot even when I'm not hormonal. Today, I saw a TikTok where a girl was taking a college class and everything is still online because of Covid. She said less than half of the class was showing up and no one turned on cameras and the prof seemed really sad. It was an environmental class, something this guy obviously cares about a lot and I just started sobbing. It's just so sad to think about these professors who just really love teaching people, and are used to seeing students faces every day, and now he's just talking into a void. like just a black screen. I cried for like 5 minutes about this 30 second tiktok. Little stuff like that just really gets to me. I played a dumb video game the other day (Journey to the Savage Planet) and you scan these little animals on this planet and the first one you come across the description of this animal literally says "loves you" and then you're supposed to kill a bunch of them. Do I just need to avoid media at this point?? The more visual it is (like a show, or a game or something) the worse I feel. Sometimes I even have a hard time reading books because I get so sad. This can't be normal. Does anyone else get like this? How do you separate your human emotions from things that really don't affect you at all?

It takes a lot of work to manage being an empath without shutting down or becoming overwhelmed, but I find it worth it.

A. When I’m overwhelmed with emotion.

In these cases, I analyze what’s getting to me and I find a place online where I can donate money. I donate what I can, it’s monthly but a small amount. I personally donate to a reusable pad charity that gets reusable pads to girls in regions where safe pads are hard to find (so they either use unsanitary things and get infections, or they miss school during their period and fall behind) and another charity that provides sun protective clothing and high SPF sunscreen to Africans (in Africa) with albinism.

I don’t know why these two in particular spoke to me...likely because oppressive religious concepts put them in danger and I grew up in a cult myself. Any amount you donate is helpful.

Sometimes I do a thing where if I’m buying too much c/s food, I donate an equal amount of money to different charities.

If you can’t donate money for some reason, then play the “grammar game” at https://freerice.com and each correct answer donates rice to hungry people. You can’t use an ad blocker since that’s where the money for the rice comes from.

I cannot fix all the problems in the world, but I can at least provide some help.

B. If I’m overwhelmed wanting to help someone I’m talking with who doesn’t seem to understand why they need my help.

This can be difficult but the best way to think about it is that I cannot help someone as an isolated concept; help can only happen if both of these things happen:

I am willing and able to help

The other person is willing and able to receive and enact my help

The problem of the empath is we desperately want to help others and, unlike most people, we are willing to put I’m the effort. The problems arise when the person is unwilling or unable to utilize that help. Help is like any other human interaction: IT REQUIRES CONSENT! This is something we don’t talk about in society, but it is simply inappropriate to force our help onto others. It causes them feelings of stress, inadequacy, frustration, self-hatred, and other negative, harmful emotions. As empaths, we don’t want anyone feeling that way, ESPECIALLY because of something we did or said! So I remind myself that if I force my help without their consent, then I’m contributing to worsening that person’s day.

C. The person wants my help...for everything. They are draining me.

This is likely the hardest one for us to manage, because we begin to feel responsible for that person’s wellbeing.

This type of person desperately needs a good friend, but because you’re offering help in one capacity they have decided that you are the person who will meet all their needs. This is an inappropriate relationship. If someone offers help with X, they are not also offering help with Y, Z, A, B, etc.. It’s like how I would be wrong to see a dermatologist for an eczema outbreak, but to call the dermatologist for help with my relationships, choosing healthy food at the store, asking for help picking a flattering outfit, and asking for advice on writing a resume or talking to a problematic coworker. The dermatologist is helping with ONE thing. Can the dermatologist offer advice on all those other things? Sure. But it’s inappropriate to think, “The dermatologist is helping me with eczema; THEREFORE, I will ask their help for all these other things.”

This means we as empaths need to set those boundaries. It’s okay for us to point them in the direction of someone who has more time and expertise to help them for another problem.

And, just like that dermatology visit, we must set a time limit. If you feel selfish at first, remind yourself that being “drained” means you can’t help as many people during the day AND that those extra hours spent aren’t actually getting that much extra improvement in their lives. It’s a better outcome to divide our time to help 3 people than to let 1 person swallow up all our time.

D. The person wants my ATTENTION, but not my HELP.

This one is tricky and can leave us feeling used and our time wasted. This person appears like Situation C, but each time they “totally promise” to use our advice, you find out in the next conversation that they didn’t use the advice or even claim to forget, or claim that we never said that advice. This person needs professional therapy. We cannot help them. If they cannot see a therapist in person for whatever reason, I have free and/or online alternatives for them.

I find that this person is ready to dump ALL their problems, even if they’re wholly unrelated to a problem you’re talking with them about currently. You find that when you try to excuse yourself from the conversation, they immediately try to start a new conversation. The more you try to excuse yourself, the more extreme the new conversation starters become, including talks of self-harm, suicidal ideation, inappropriate touching, and so on. These aren’t necessarily lies, but are ONLY brought up to keep your attention/concern/care. I call them “Pity Vampires”.

For Pity Vampires, I give them one helpful task to complete for the next time we speak, and I give a time constraint like, “Message me next week about your success.” If they message me next week with cheap excuses, then I refer them to a therapist (and the alternatives) and tell them I am unable to help them.

Typically, they will attempt to self-pity to manipulate me into helping them, such as, “That’s how everyone treats me, I thought you were different but you proved me wrong” or “I really am beyond helping, no one wants to be around me.” I reply to this saying something like, “Your response is deliberately manipulative to trick me into talking to you further. This is disrespectful and you’re asking me for inappropriate help. I am not a mental health professional, so it is rude and inconsiderate to use me as such. I am a person with my own issues. I’m happy to be a friend, but I am not here to be used by a person who is avoiding therapy.”

This sounds harsh but it is direct and truthful, which is what they need to hear because they’re either given pity or frustration. By expressing exactly why people keep leaving them, you are helping them see that it’s not who they are that is off-putting, but it’s how they treat others that is off-putting.

Similar to this person is the "Drama Vampire", who is combative for attention. It's similar to a troll in that they post to get a strong reaction, only they're being serious in their commentary and not trolling (trolls just post to anger people for fun, even if it's not their real belief/opinion). Drama Vampires are easier to spot and you can try talking to them politely to educate them on a topic. If they respond in an over-the-top way with insults and strawman arguments, you can say something like, "You are using straw man arguments and insults, and I'm not sure why. If you want to have a conversation about this, I'm happy to participate in civil, calm discussion. But if you're upset and looking to talk at me with common arguments that aren't anything I've ever said, then you don't need me for this since you're putting words in my mouth anyway. If you respond in the same way, I just won't reply. Either way, I hope you have a good day." 

You have to be careful to not be condescending, as it can sometimes come off that way. You can't include things like, "I just wanted to educate you but it seems you're in love with ignorance" or whatever. Just "Hey, I'm here to talk but not here to be yelled at, so if you respond with more of the same then I won't reply." 90% of the time, Drama Vampires respond with more anger and so I wash my hands of it. It is tempting to try to "reach" them with kind, rational words, but they aren't receptive to those at that time. If they are receptive, then after that "please don't be rude to me, I just want to have a discussion" comment they will soften up and you can have a discussion.

[mdwatchestv]

Love Em or Leave Em - My Favorite Shows of 2017 (And the ones I ditched along the way)

If there is one kind of list I love it is a year end best list. That way I can easily see everything I utterly failed to watch and consume in the past year, as well as feel the intoxicating rush of vindication at the shows I correctly identified as being ‘best of’ and actually watched. Anyway the point is you can go anywhere for an objective “ten best” list written by “paid writers” who “write professionally”. Instead what I have to offer you is two-fold, both my favorite shows of the year (and yes there is some ten best crossover) and all the shows I gave-up on, set aside, or completely emotionally abandoned. So without further ado, and without any particular order, and with the understanding that I’m writing this before Black Mirror premieres, love Black Mirror so much, here are my ten favorite shows of 2017 (ugh you guys I can’t wait for Black Mirror):

ORPHAN BLACK The Final Season aka Season 5 (BBC America)

Orphan Black might not have always been the most consistent show, it boasted a complex science fiction plot that often veered into the unintelligible (I’m still not completely sure about a lot of what happened) and had more than a few missteps (boy clones was a bad call, it just was). BUT what Orphan Black also had is perhaps one of the best acting performances, in any medium, ever. Tatiana Maslany’s turn as no less than twelve distinct characters was masterful, magical, completely transporting acting. Watching her every week was surprising, glorious, and will be heart-breaking to give up. Its a performance every actor should attempt to greedily dissect and replicate. We will quite simply never see its like again. 

MINDHUNTER Season 1 (Netflix)

True crime, check. Jonathan Groff, check. Moody period drama, check. Austere David Fincher mis-en-scene, check. Surprisingly feminist leaning commentary on the destructiveness of male toxicity, check. Shiny period cars, check. Fantastic turns from character actors, some of which new to me, check, check. All my dreams for a television show, check.

LEGION Season 1 (FX)

What can I say about Legion that I did not already say in a one thousand word blog post written breathlessly after the first episode? In a land of sub-par superhero content Legion stands alone as a pillar of aesthetic beauty, sweeping narrative vision, and general weirdness. This was also without question my favorite sequence on TV this year.

THE GOOD PLACE Season 2 (NBC)

If you are not watching The Good Place, you have made some kind of unfortunate mistake in your life. Season 1 of this comedy ended with a shocking twist that essentially changed everything we knew about the show. That seems like a daunting place to build from for a season 2, but the second outing of this philosophy-driven single cam just keeps getting better and better. There has never been a show that has been able to provide a thoughtful dissection of the trolley problem as well as a dozen solid clam chowder puns. Also, Jason.

SEARCH PARTY Season 2 (TBS)

Search Party is Nancy Drew for the Millennial in constant existential free fall. Search Party sees your anxiety, your social media addiction, your desperate desire for, and paralyzing fear of, adventure. Search Party makes you laugh until you cry and then keep crying because even though life is inconsequential, you are still fucking it up somehow. Also, John Early.

DIFFICULT PEOPLE Season 3 (Hulu)

If Search Party made me feel seen, then Difficult People made me feel SEEN. I mean it’s literally about a red-head who recaps television, hates almost everyone, and makes her boyfriend bring her snacks on the couch. Difficult People blasted a hundred smart jokes a second right into your face, and had been calling out (now exposed) serial abusers and shit heads for years. Also by far my favorite casting scenes on television (why do they always making casting directors so mean in movies?). It’s cancellation caused me physical pain so deep I had to work through it in therapy.

BROADCHURCH Season 3 (BBC, but also very accessibly on Netflix)

If you have never seen Broadchurch do not jump in at season three, go back to season one and do it properly (although be warned the series deals with pretty intense themes like child murder and rape). A really good show can deliver a powerful storyline with emotionally driven twists and a satisfying conclusion. But only a great show can deliver that caliber of storytelling three seasons in a row. Broadchurch is dark, compelling, moving, funny, and emotionally devastating. It’s led by the always wonderful David Tennant and Olivia Coleman who may be the greatest actress in the world. If you are one of those people who is like “Oh well I watched Gracepoint (the American bastardization of this show), is this really that much better?” Yes, yes it is.

THE CROWN Season 2 (Netflix)

Speaking of the glory of Olivia Coleman, she will be taking over Queen duties from the luminous Claire Foy in season 3 of The Crown! Probably the best casting news I heard all year because I couldn’t imagine another actress who could deliver the caliber of performance Claire has turned in for the past two seasons. This season Queen is more secure in her role, but she still has to deal with the greatest threat to all women in power: men’s bullshit. When I am not marveling at the lusciousness of the images on screen, I am yelling, “DRAG HIM” at it. Also feel like no one is talking about how amazing Vanessa Kirby is this season, so this is me talking about it.

AMERICAN GODS (Starz)

American Gods was like nothing else on TV this year, and after the shocking announcement that show creators Bryan Fuller and Michael Green would be leaving the project, there will probably never be anything like it again. Sure the first season had it’s ups and downs, but when it hit the mark it was a bullseye. Bryan Fuller has never been afraid to get weird, bless his boots, and American Gods got WEIRD, resplendently so. One of the rare instances where an expanded adaptation of a literary worked actually improved on the source material, American Gods felt like Odin’s lightening in a bottle. Beyond a stellar cast, the series also had two of my favorite characters of the year in Bilquis and Laura Moon.  I recapped the entire season on this very blog and you can read it all here.

ALIAS GRACE (Netflix)

Alias Grace was the less publicized of the Margaret Atwood adaptations this year, but in my opinion, the better one. While Handmaid’s Tale was filled with soaring moments and a tour-de-force performance by Elisabeth Moss, it often achieved its high drama at the cost of trampling the subtler moments of the novel. Alias Grace on the other hand perfectly captured the creeping unease of Atwood’s work, slowly submerging you in the insidiousness and uncertainty of the patriarchy until you realize you are drowning, have been drowning, the whole time. Super relatable right?  While Handmaid’s Tale was bold and triumphant, Alias Grace was delicate and haunting. Only six episodes guys, make the commitment.

RIVERDALE Season One (The CW)

When I first heard The CW was making a sexy teen version of the Archie comics my first thought was “Who on Earth wants to watch THAT?” Turns out the answer is me, more than anything. Was Riverdale the BEST show this year? No. But it was without question one of the most enjoyable. As a watcher of prestige TV there is a lot of serious subjects ™ to deal with. I mean almost every show on this list, including this one, deals with death and murder. Even the comedies are built around philosophic crisis for goodness sake. Sometimes you just need 45 minutes of sexy (really really sexy) teens solving mysteries and cracking pop culture quips. Let KJ Apa’s orange hair and rock hard abs lift you up out of the gutter of 2017.

Honorable Mentions:

Handmaid’s Tale (Hulu)

Fargo Season 3 (FX)

Humans Season 2 (AMC/Channel 4)

Brooklyn 99 (Fox)

The Magicians Season 2 (SyFy)

And while there was a lot to love this year, there were also shows that I consciously uncoupled from, in one auspicious case, whilst in the middle of blogging it.

Shows I gave up on:

Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency Season 2 (BBC America)

I loved season one of this show, to the point where I would still recommend it as a standalone viewing experience. I recapped season one as one of my first endeavors of this blog, and attempted to do the same for season two. Perhaps you noticed that I just completely abandoned my posts. Season one was a fantastic whirlwind adventure, a bright zany distraction that was as clever as it was captivating. But sadly the second season couldn’t deliver on, and perhaps didn’t realize, what made the first season so great. During episode six of season two I finally realized that the spark was gone. Literally as I sat down to work on this today I saw that Dirk Gently had been cancelled, so consider this opinion rubber-stamped.

The Walking Dead Season 8 (AMC)

When the Walking Dead premiered eight long years ago I couldn’t believe it. A zombie SHOW! Zombies EVERY WEEK. I loved The Walking Dead, it delivered some of the finest undead content ever partaken by the living. But this season when Negan walked out of his warehouse, unarmed, in front of 100 machine gun wielding Rick soldiers and the first word out of his mouth was “cock” (or equivalent, I had blacked out) I knew simply, without regret or reservation, that I was ready to lay this show to rest. I only wish I could have held on for Carl’s death but such is life (or…ya know).

Twin Peaks: The Return (Showtime)

I just couldn’t.

American Horror Story: Cult (FX)

This was a hot mess. Will I be back for the first three episodes of next season? You betcha.

Better Things (FX)

This one was fraught for me, and I have not laid it to rest forever. Better Things is an absolutely brilliant show, and this season was an even better thing than season one. But interacting with vulnerable art is itself a vulnerable experience, and the brilliance of this show is its ability to access raw emotion and intimacy. As much as I’d like to, I can’t go where this show wants to take me. Maybe next year.

And that’s a wrap on 2017! We had a lot of good TV, and we still have new Black Mirror and a lady Doctor Who to look forward to. Thank you everyone who read this blog this year, I treasure you. As always if you want to argue with me, or pet my hair and tell me everything will be okay, I am on twitter @marthadee.

[rough-tweed-action]

🔥 about tjlc and the tinfoil hat conspiracists

This is a tough one. I'm guessing my opinion (why are they doing this to themselves?) is actually a popular one. So, an unpopular opinion about these people, hmm.

Have you seen Rowan Atkinson's sketch about Toby the Devil? He welcomes souls to hell and divides them into groups: murderers, thieves, French and lastly, Christians. 'Christians? Ah yes, I’m sorry, I’m afraid the Jews were right.' Apart from being hilarious, it makes me wonder: what if we, the non-johnlockers, are wrong and they are right? What if everything I think I know about Sherlock is wrong because I'm a straight, adult woman and judging from the post-TFP dramatic posts, the majority of the cult consists of gay youth. What if BBC Sherlock really is a romantic story and I saw none of that because I'm biased?

What if they were rightfully angry after series 4? I mean, from what I heard, they predicted TAB's content pretty well. Maybe they aren't as delusional as we think. Maybe they were, in fact, portrayed on the show not only as the First TJCLer Hudders but also as the league of furies. Maybe today's gay youth needs more recognition than suffragettes. I don't know.

What if Mofftiss did betray them? What if they intentionally made Sherlock gay and John bi to attract the attention of gay fans? What if they wanted to give them the kiss, but the BBC didn't let them?What if Mark Gatiss, who seems like a lovely person, is actually the evil incarnate and a homophobic, cruel gay who likes to torment people like him? How can I tell? I don't know him. What if Mofftiss are lying liars who lie about lying about lying about lying and they really are playing a long game here. Maybe they intentionally made series 4 not gay and hurt the fans only to make the kiss in series 5 sweeter? Who can tell?

Did Gatiss honestly tell gay fans via Mary that it doesn't matter who they really are? Would he do that? Will he and Moffat butcher Dracula and make him not explicitly gay?

What if I, a Sheriarty shipper, completely misinterpreted the Moriarty episodes? What if Sherlock is, in fact, scared of Moriarty and there's no chemistry? Perhaps Sherlock wanted to catch Moriarty to save John and be gay with him? Could the Sheriarty content be just a cynical milkshake to lure the hungry Fannibals to the yard? What if the Sheriarty scene from TAB was not sentimentally and sexually charged? What if Moriarty's motivation was 'if I can't have you, then no one can'? WHAT IF SHERLOCK JUST HAD A GUN IN HIS POCKET AND WASN’T PLEASED TO SEE HIM?

What if Adlock isn't canon? Is Irene's theme really a johnlock theme? The person who deflowered Sherlock, Irene or John? Were Irene's pupils dilated because she was scared? Did she say 'Well I am [gay], look at us both' to prove there was no Adlock, not because saying 'Well I am bisexual' would make no sense? Were all the reminders of Irene meaningless? Do I ship it bc I'm straight? Was I.... straight-baited?

Was it a coincidence that Sherlock said 'I'm you' to Jim and played Irene's theme when asked to play himself? Was the Adlock/Sheriarty mash-up (TAB) unimportant? Is Sherlock actually attracted only to his exact opposite, John boring dull predictable Watson?

What if that Arwel guy is not a funny person who likes elephants and things that glow? What if he taunted the cult with gay elephants all those years? I'm actually surprised to have heard of the Eurus' glass elephant just recently and not from a cult member. Huh. Is the glowing skull a secret sign? What if the billboards from HLV were not a coincidence?

And what if all the small inconsistencies like the disappearing John from the T6T scene with Hopkins are, in fact, important? Look, as a Holmescest shipper, I watched the Unwise, brother mine scene many, many times. Two inconsistencies there. 

What if the First TJLCer and John are actually likeable characters? Is John's abusive behaviour excusable bc of sexual frustration and being closeted? Was his awful comment about Mycroft (what goes around comes around) justified? We may never know.

Is johnlock actually a sweet, lovely, vanilla ship, romantic and pure? Despite all the women deceived and used to stop the gossip? It bothers me, actually. Maybe it's because I think that honesty in any relationship is crucial. Did Sherlock and John really flirt with each other in Mary's or Irene's presence? Did John make a decision to marry Mary just to prove he's straight, although he could have just ditch the bitch and make out with his loved-up booooooooooyfriend? Is it ok for a bi-curious person to lie to their straight partner and use them a shield? Should I root for a gay couple who try to get together on the fucking WEDDING RECEPTION in front of the clueless bride? Is this good? Do I find it disgusting and inexcusable bc I'm not gay? Maybe it is a gay fantasy, the opposite of the hetero wish to turn a gay person straight?  Mystery.

Is this theory that the true villain of BBC Sherlock is anyone who thinks Sherlock is not gay right? Do I erase an important part of his personality bc I don't want Sherlock the fictional character to be happy the way he should have been from the start? Was ACD inspired by Oscar Wilde and the original Sherlock Holmes was in as gay as Wilde? Did Watson invent Mary Morstan to be safely gay with Holmes?

Is the unaired pilot gay and I can't see it bc I am not? Did Sherlock say that he knew being gay is fine not because John said his 'which is fine' the way I say 'I do like the Germans and I’m not scared of the German nationalism and do not resent them for using the most hideous language in the world, no sir'? Did Sherlock never correct the people who assumed he was John's boyfriend not because he simply didn't care what they thought about him?

What if Mary killed herself to make Sherlock commit suicide? What if Sherlock hated her the whole time and only pretended he liked her, so very convincingly? Did he and John conspire to murder her while she was heavily pregnant and sipped tea in John's chair? Was she the real Moriarty? Did she work for CAM? For Mycroft? Did the homicidal Sherlock and John try to protect her from Ajay because... they wanted to kill her themselves?

Was the Warstan reunion in HLV not sweet and realistic but sinister? Did John threaten her while she was pregnant with his child?

Is the *sigh* M theory true? Moriarty, Mary and Magnussen using Mycroft to destroy johnlock? Because nothing else that universe is more important than these two Brits licking Marmite off the other's prick.

What if our perception of the acronym cult is wrong? Maybe it's not just toxic. Maybe it helps its members embrace their sexuality. Maybe they were just trying to defend themselves? Maybe the only member who needed therapy was one of the leaders? Was it ok for another leader, the one who's still active, to respond to my message by going through my blog and judging the content? Despite my having mentioned twice in the message that I was just curious and had no evil intentions. I'm no expert.

Is the concept of a slow-burn romance (with a huge portion of miscommunication) between John and Sherlock possible? Wouldn't Sherlock just say: 'John, we should kiss, for science!' or John, when Sherlock returned, 'I have missed you so much. Don't ever leave again. Also, I love you, I can say this now.'

Did the suggestion to name the baby Sherlock actually meant 'I wish we have got married, I'd love to be your Sherlock Watson'? Did John the free widower say 'the chance doesn't last forever' and put so much emphasis on the word 'alive' because... I dunno, really.

Does John's 'I am not gay/not Sherlock's boyfriend' mean: 'I'm bisexual and would love to show Sherlock some military discipline'? Wouldn’t bi-John feel comfortable with Hudders, enough to tell her his secret?

Was John's reaction to Mary's death really less emotional than his reaction to Sherlock's suicide?

Was John's WTF when Janine strode out of Sherlock's bedroom jealousy and not the strong feeling that Sherlock either changed overnight or was doing some serious bullshitting?

Is Sherlock’s reaction to Janine and that other female character flirting with him a definite proof that he does not want to offer his virginity to a woman? Even... The Woman?

Was the idea of Warstan bad enough to make Sherlock suicidal on FIVE separate occasions? I counted: the sad, suicidal chips in TEH, the conversation with Sholto through the door, the post-wedding relapse that was NOT for a case, the TAB overdose and the TLD relapse. Dude. Sherlock, son, maybe find a hobby.

Did Mofftiss lose their minds and made not one but TWO 'all in your head' series? Is John dying? Is Sherlock in a coma? Was Eurus real? Is Redbeard a dog? Do I care?

Are Adlock and Smallcroft shippers delusional bc both Holmes brothers are so obviously gay? Is it all right to say that a character's sexual orientation cannot be different from the actor's (but only if the actor is gay)? Does Gatiss have a right to play or create non-gay characters?  Is he morally obliged to make every Sherlock character gay? Does he owe anything to the gay community?

What if having your otp work together and raise a kid together is not enough?

WAS THE LAZARUS REAL? I do agree with finalproblem on this particular subject, 100%.

Is Jim Moriarty alive? Is Mary alive? Is Rosie real?

IS FUCKY a real, useable word?

WAS IT HUDDERS WHO SAID 'SOFTER, SHERLOCK' IN TFP??? That old, stoned witch, I knew I shouldn't trust her.

WHAT IF THERE WILL BE A LOST SPECIAL/LOST GAY BAR SCENE/THE KISS AND WE, THE NON-BELIEVERS/CASUAL ANTIS, WILL DIE OF SHOCK AND CHOKE ON OUR HOMOPHOBIA?

WHAT IF IT WAS TWINS???

Seriously, though. Do I think conspiracy theorists are crazy in real life? No. I think I'm fairly normal despite my strong belief that General Sikorski was murdered by the British. I will NEVER accept that it was an accident. Never. 

Thank you, that was a journey. 

[doctorwhonews]

Torchwood: Instant Karma (Big Finish)

Latest Review: Writers: James Goss, David Llewellyn, Jonathan Morris Director: Lisa Bowerman Featuring: Naoko Mori, Jonny Dixon, Sara McGaughey, Duncan Wiseby, Ross Ford Released by Big Finish Productions - July 2018 Order from Amazon UK “That feeling…it felt amazing.” “I know.” “We could do anything, couldn’t we?” It was only a matter of time. Between its mother show’s satirical coverage of the subject in “The Return of Doctor Mysterio” and the franchise’s recent deconstructions of classic sci-fi tropes such as artificial intelligence (Cascade), cult conspiracies (Believe), and nihilistic escape rooms (Aliens Among Us Part 3), Torchwood always seemed inextricably bound towards tackling society’s rabid superhero mania. Case in point: avert your eyes from the screen of whichever digital platform you’re consuming this review via right now and look up into the sky. See that mythical figure descending from the heavens, like the Greek god Icarus with his majestic wings of old? That’s not a bird, nor a plane, nor even the Man of Steel himself – introducing Instant Karma. Rest assured that the following verdict won’t comprise simply of genre puns, though – partly because iconic adages like “with great power comes great responsibility” sound rather dated in the age of social media influencers / trolls / politicians, but moreso because this reviewer would sooner renege his profession than get on the wrong side of Karma’s three-strong writing team. If Family Guy’s Peter Griffin took to Quahog 5 News’ TV airwaves to “grind his gears”, then Torchwood range regulars David Llewellyn, James Goss and Jonathan Morris evidently selected audio drama as the ideal medium to do so; from pesky stragglers holding up the queues for ATM machines to ignorant railway passengers incapable of wearing headphones, from far-right politicians to Cardiff-based secret agents sticking their noses where they oughtn’t be, the axes are well and truly out in a vengeful hour of unrelenting bestial fury… Just kidding! But odds are that we’ve all bemoaned at least one of the bugbears mentioned in the previous paragraph, thereby confirming how brilliantly the three wrights channel commonplace social tensions into a painfully believable tale of tragic hubris. The aforementioned persistent agent, Toshiko Sato, has her hands full as ever, with our scribes throwing nuanced moral dilemmas aplenty in her direction as she investigates the emergence of a seemingly superhuman community group capable of murdering their irksome victims with but a single malicious thought. Might we justify such grievous violence if directed at the ‘right’ target? Is it always fair to blame up-and-coming ‘vigilantes’ for the unforeseen consequences of their actions? In a world where those influencers mentioned earlier often come to the fore with but a single viral tweet or video, only to find their every word scrutinised for its potential to shape followers’ actions / ideals, originally far-fetched dilemmas such as these are fast gaining pertinence, making the script’s refusal to commit to one moral standpoint as the more righteous stance all the more powerful in hindsight. Serving full justice to weighty debates such as these takes more than politically charged dialogue and the odd explosive set-piece, of course; you’ll also need accomplished performers with the emotional range to keep a straight face given the tale’s disbelief-testing premise, yet simultaneously to avoid sinking listeners into despair when critiquing our childhood cravings for supernatural abilities. It’s for this reason that the decision to centre Karma around three core stars rather than an overstuffed ensemble works to such compelling effect – naturally Naoko Mori resurrects Toshiko’s personal vulnerability, intellectual sense of humour and oft-overlooked bravery with the ease of flicking a light-switch, but don’t underestimate Jonny Dixon or Sara McGaughey either. Both shine with remarkable intensity given their newfound introduction into the Torchwood universe, Dixon’s initially collected take on soldier-turned-bus driver Simon belying a deeply unsettling egotism underneath and McCaughey’s seemingly blindly faithful lover Janet fast revealing herself as no less psychologically complex – nor formidable – as events take a turn for the worst. Perhaps it’s telling, then, that this reviewer’s only reservation towards the finished product concerns the sense of unfinished business lingering for these richly-detailed characters as the credits roll all too abruptly. Every great storyteller knows the value of leaving their audience wanting more, but past instalments in Big Finish’s monthly Torchwood range left us practically on the edge of our seats, desperate to know what became of Jack’s investigation into the Committee after The Conspiracy and Uncanny Valley, who the time travelling conspirators engineering events in Visiting Hours were or – as discussed last month – the true intentions of Norton Folgate, only for subsequent instalments to pick up with the same protagonists and yet virtually no sign of those previous plot threads. While this could suggest a bigger game-plan at work, what with one-off releases such as The Torchwood Archive and Outbreak admittedly furthering some of those minor story arcs, some might equally interpret it as Big Finish wanting to avoid those picking up a random Jack or Owen release in the monthly range finding themselves lost amidst ongoing story arcs, in which case return trips to Karma might induce a frustrating sense of longing for the closure which never came. But that’s a question for another day – no doubt our understanding of Torchwood’s evolving narrative continuity under Big Finish will continue to grow as a second season of post-Miracle Day antics launches this autumn and the monthly range kicks into top gear with a full year’s worth of standalone missions starting next March. Regardless, Instant Karma confirms without any hesitation that now’s the perfect time for the studio to up their game with further monthly outings, delivering both exhilarating action for superhero aficionados and arguably the perfect therapy session for anyone in serious need of venting their stress mid-commute. Just be sure to remind Goss, Llewellyn and Morris that we told you as much, alright? The New Gods only know what’ll happen if we incur their wrath. Next Time on Torchwood – Never mind superheroes, though; to paraphrase one Jim Moriarty, every comic-book needs a good old-fashioned villain. Trouble is that those ne’er do wells reckless enough to stand in the Torchwood team’s way rarely live to tell the tale, with one notable exception – Bilis Manger. If only we could ascertain the whereabouts of Abbadon’s kindly yet secretly bloodthirsty benefactor, then perhaps, just perhaps, this fourth season of monthly releases could finally buck the trend of past runs ending on devastatingly underwhelming notes. No luck? Oh well – we’d best retreat to the Travellers’ Halt for the night in that case. Rumour has it that the buffet’s to die for… http://reviews.doctorwhonews.net/2018/08/torchwood_instant_karma_big_finish.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr