#Theodore 'Laurie' Laurence

[hockey-and-timbits]

I could never love anyone as I love my sisters.

—Jo March, Little Women (Gillian Armstrong, 1994)

[jakeperalta]

romance in film gif meme: [4/5] gazes/yearnings

"dress for festivities! top hats and silks!" "I will! I'll wear my best silk!" little women (2019) written and directed by greta gerwig

[saoirse-ronan]

laurie and amy + song lyrics: i love you, i'm sorry by gracie abrams

[loverangels]

I saw laurie Lawrence and i got so excited (i see no fics of him even though he’s like the perfect man even if he sucks sometimes.) i’m excited to see your writings <3

the way things go

pairings- laurie laurence x fem!reader

summary- after over hearing laurie propose to your sister Jo, heartbroken you decide to leave to paris

warnings- angst, not proofread nothing else

'would you do me the greatest honour of making me your husband.'

Laurie's words seemed to replay and echo in the dull hollow walls of your mind. Your heart ached as tears dripped down your face . You were going to tell Laurie you loved him. You thought he loved you.

It was obvious now that you were wrong.

With a hand clamped over your mouth, you muffled the sob threatening to break out from your throat.

What made it worse was that he hadn't proposed to anyone else.

He proposed to Jo.

Anger simmed through you, overtaking the flow of your pain. You had asked Jo if something between her and Laurie had been going on and everytime she replied with 'don't be silly! Laurie's like my brother!' or 'laurie!? What possibly could make you think that!?' and brushed it off with furrowed brows and a disgusted frown.

But that didn't match up with what you had just witnessed.

Through the slightly ajar door, you walked down the hallway of lauries and his grandfather's house, hoping to speak to him only to be met with the sight of Laurie on one knee facing Jo, with a small velvet box holding one of the most gorgeous ring you have ever seen.

'would you do me the greatest honour of make me your husband.'

You held back your sob and flew down the stairs not caring if either of Jo or Laurie heard you.

You ran. Ran till you were in your bedroom, without a second thought, stuffing the rest of your precious belongings into your suitcase, filling it to the brim.

You looked around at your room savouring every inch before hauling your suitcase and down the stairs.

'you're already leaving so early?'

Marmees soft gentle voice called out from behind you, and you sighed turning around to face.

'should I get laurie to help you?'

A weak smile formed on your face, but you knew it was no use. Marmee could see right through anyone.

'no it's alright..I wouldn't want to bother him' your words came out more bitter than you intended to.

Soon without telling Meg, Jo, Beth, or Amy, you walked out of the door.

And to Paris.

'would you do me the greatest honour of make me your husband.'

Laurie knelt on knee holding the velvet box to Jo.

Jo squealed and grabbed Laurie up, wrapping her arms around his neck.

'its perfect! It's time, we need to go tell the others!'

'wait I need to look presentable' Laurie joked before dusting his clothes off and fixing the rough state of his hair.

The pair soon went to Lauries grandfather and told him the news.

He was ecstatic.

They spent an hour with lauries grandfather, before trampling through the thick mount of snow to tell marmee and the girls.

'is she here?', Laurie asked marmee.

Marmee sadly smiled, 'shes already left to the train station'

Laurie felt his heart drop to his stomach.

'what?'

'shes already left to Paris, if you're lucky the train might not have departed yet due to the snow storm.'

You sat on one of the benches at the train station, the bell jar in your hand, as you read impatiently waiting for your train to arrive.

Soon the call of your train was made.

You grabbed your suitcase and bag, holding the book with our arm.

As you began to struggle as you attempted to haul your suitcase and bag on the train, you felt arms grab your suitcase and a familiar voice.

'wait!'

You turned around to see Laurie, his hair sticking in all directions, and his face flushed from the snow.

He grabbed your hand and pulled you away from the train.

'what were you thinking? You were just going to leave? Without telling the girls? Without telling me?' his voice was strained and raspy as if he had been screaming.

'laurie I don't have time for this- the train its leaving!' you harshly ripped yourself from Laurie's grip, attempting to chase the train down as it slowly departed, only to be in his hold again.

He held you against his chest.

'youre not leaving. You cant-why?'

You struggled to find your words.

You looked at him million answers as to why. Why? 'why? Really Laurie why? You know exactly why!' you held a finger to him accusingly as you jabbed him in the chest 'you- what happened to us? We were so close. I love you Laurie. That's 'why?'.' Laurie's jaw dropped as you continued. 'i love you and I thought...' your voice trailed off as you swallowed the lump in your throat frustrated. 'i thought you loved me to. And I went. I went to tell you but you already proposed, I was too late. You love her.' your voice dropped with jealousy and anguish.

'what?' Laurie asked his brows furrowed as he bit the inside of his cheek 'who are you taking about? I love you. Only you.'

You were confused. But didn't he propose to Jo? 'laurie I saw you... I saw..but you proposed to jo.'

Lauries faced changed. His eyes widened as his mouth slowly formed into a grin before he started laughing.

'laurie it's not funny!' you exclaim, yet also finding yourself trying to hide your smile, pushing him away playfully.

Laurie grabbed your hands, enlacing his fingers with yours.

'god, i was practicing to propose.' he chuckled ' I was practicing to propose. To you.'

'oh.' was all that left your mouth but it was nothing compared to the whirlwind of emotions in your stomach.

'so what do you say? Will you be my wife?' he asked grinning as his hands revealed a small velvet box holding the same gorgeous diamond ring.

'yes!' you beamed at him, your cheeks flushed as he slid the ring on your finger.

As laurie quickly embraced you, his chin on your head as you wrapped your arms around your torso, Laurie chuckled,

'i can't believe that after all that practicing this is the propsosal.'

'well I guess that's just the way things go.'

a/n I hate this so much but idk if it's just me 😭 I hope it's okay for you guys!

[necstasy]

thoughts on laurie. specifically dirty!!

like he’s the perfect golden boy to your family and treats you so well but the moment you’re behind closed doors his cock is down your throat and his hand is gripping your hair

mention of barf; very slight dark!laurie (squint and you still won’t find it); corruption kink; implied face fucking & LAURIE LAURENCE MDNI 18+

it’s something he gets off to.

the way that just hours before, he’d been having an early dinner with your parents, the perfect picture of innocence. sitting across from you, smiling at your parents on either side of the table, reaching across to take your hand in his every so often to make your mother coo and your father proud.

to them, laurie (theodore as they preferred to call him) was the perfect husband. and he was, just in ways they didn’t know.

you know you got lucky with laurie. there was no way any other man could satisfy your needs like this. no other man that could satisfy both your parents and you.

because that’s what laurie did, satisfy you. even whenever he was aiming towards his own satisfaction.

your mouth wrapped around his cock as you take him inch by inch, introducing the length once more as he held your hair back. he encouraged you from above, reminding you that you’ve done it before, and you can do it again.

“just takes a little bit to get used to, yeah?” he asked you, completely knowing that you wouldn’t be able to respond. he apparently finds it amusing when you try to nod, his lips quirking up and his eyes shining in the light from behind you.

always, he lets you take your time to adjust. and once you’re situated enough, he does the work for you, slow thrusts into your mouth that have his eyes rolling back. once, out of curiosity, you asked him which he preferred, your mouth or between your legs. and he had taken a while to mull it over before deciding on your cunt. but with the way he reacts when he gets to use your mouth, you think he should reconsider.

he is almost unabashed. lacking the cordiality and composure he presented in front of your parents. instead, before you is a laurie stripped of his upbringing. a laurie that you assume had only previously existed during his time in paris, as according to the stories from excitable mouths.

while he’s an obscene version of himself, you’re much worse. you’re salacious. you’re pornographic. drool leaking out of your mouth, your eyes a healthy mix of lazy and watchful as you take in as much of your husband as you can. your hair is an absolute mess, that’s the part laurie takes most pride in. because that is his own doing. his hands insistent in their mission to take your hair out of the frilly updo and let it relax, just as he preferred.

he’s making noises, groans and praising chants. but you’re making noises too. sighs, breaths, hums. every so often you make a noise that’s like a warning, as if you’re afraid that laurie nudging at the back of your throat will trigger your gag reflex one too many times and create a mess.

yet, it’s a mess that doesn’t sound too unappealing for him. he thinks he would like to see you like that. to see you completely wrecked and not in control of yourself. to see you stripped of your upbringing, and presented as a woman he has yet to fully unlock, but he knows exists.

[ashleysolsen]

You will care for somebody, and you'll love him tremendously, and live and die for him. I know you will, it's your way, and you will and I'll watch.

LITTLE WOMEN 2019, dir. Greta Gerwig

[thestarlight3]

Kathryn Newton as Amy March & Jonah Andre Hauer-King as Theodore “Laurie” Laurence

Little Women (2017) Miniseries Dir. Vanessa Caswill Written by Heidi Thomas

[riordanness]

champagne problems — [l.laurence]

wordcount: 3.2K

warnings: angst

requested: no

a/n: i really love this fic, i spent a super long time on it and it took me ages but i love it so i hope you love it too &lt;3

“Thank you,” I tell my dance partner, another nameless, tasteless, personality-less boy I will never see again. I smile and curtsy, and turn away, as I do every time. No one will ever fill the hole in my heart the way that he did.

I spot Amy talking to Fred, and weave my way towards them. I don’t know anyone else by anything more than name, and it’s awkward. It’s stiff, it’s strange, and it’s uncomfortable. Trying to make friends with these men, men who couldn’t care less about my feelings or my ambitions; just my pretty face and my willingness to marry. Once they discovered I didn’t have my heart in that; at least not anymore, they lost all interest in me.

“Hey, y/n,” Amy greets me, offering me a glass of what I think is champagne.

“Thank you,” I tell her, and take a sip.

“How are you enjoying the party?” Fred addresses me.

I shrug, and try to smile. “It is alright.”

Amy has a sympathetic look on her face. She knows me a little bit too well. All the March sisters do, as well as… him. He knew me better than anyone. Or at least that’s what I thought.

“Laurie!” I laughed, giggling so hard I couldn’t even escape him. His arms caught me tightly, poking and tickling my waist. I squirmed, but the pure joy of being with him was almost overwhelming.

“What?” he teased. “What’s wrong, y/n? Hmm?”

“S-Stop!” I gasped for air, playfully hitting him on the arm. Well, it was a pretty hard punch, actually.

“Ow! Y/n!” Laurie released me and winced, grabbing his arm.

“I’m sorry!” I tried to stop laughing.

He stared at me for a heartbeat, and just as my smile faded, he then grinned. “Gotcha.”

His happiness was infectious. I was smiling again, laughing again, purely and completely content to live forever in this moment.

“Y/n.”

Amy’s voice is a warning, and my brain only hears it a minute after I should. “Hmm?” I ask, glancing up at her. She’s used to my daydreaming, so I assume she’ll just repeat her comment, but Amy isn’t looking at me. She’s staring sternly at the staircase at the entrance of this ballroom.

I turn, and there’s a half moment of anticipation. Who has arrived?

Then, I see him. His wrinkled white shirt, untied bow tie. The glass of alcohol held lazily in his hand. His unruly curls are even more uncombed and unkempt than usual. His eyes are light with mirth and dull from the drink. Two women are fawning over him from either side, and he’s drinking up the attention more eagerly than the champagne.

Laurie.

My breath catches in my throat, and I try to swallow the sudden lump there. “Ah, I see.”

Fred puts a hand on my shoulder, a protective, big-brother gesture. I really appreciate him. No matter how many times I end up basically third-wheeling him and Amy when they go out, he never minds. Amy has told him all about what Laurie did to me, so he decided to step in and try to help fill that hole.

And I love him for it, but no one will ever be capable of making me whole the way Laurie did. And I’m not sure if anyone ever will be able to.

I take a cautious sip of champagne, watching as Laurie drapes himself on a lounge on the opposite side of the room. The girls with him sink to their knees on either side of his body, fawning over the boy.

I don’t care how much expression is visible on my face right now; I can’t do anything but stare in a mix of disgust, disappointment and utter disbelief.

Then, he sees me. His eyes clear a little, they get wide and surprised all of a sudden. He attempts to sit up a little straighter.

I can’t watch anymore. I turn and shove my glass unceremoniously in Fred’s hands, and walk out of the room as quickly as I can manage, heading to the little moonlit garden path I know awaits me outside.

I laugh as Jo tells me about her plans for a new story.

“I want to turn this one into a play,” she adds. “And you should be in it! The main character is just the perfectest part for you to play, y/n.”

I roll my eyes teasingly. “First of all, ‘perfectest’ isn’t a word. And second, you know I don’t act. I’m not going to be any good!”

Jo shrugs. “Won’t know until you’ve tried it.”

I don’t answer, my gaze sliding back to all the dancers on the floor. I wish someone would ask me to dance. But I know no one here other than the March girls. And I can’t exactly dance with Jo. She has a burnt dress and isn’t allowed to dance. Not that she minds; she says she’d rather eat a stick than dance with any of the boys here.

Then, I see a boy with dark curls and pretty eyes staring at me from across the room. I tilt my head, and give a little wave and a half-smile.

He returns it immediately and makes his way over towards us.

“Hello there,” he greets me. “I’m Laurie.”

Jo looks at him. “You’re the Laurence boy. You live near us.”

Laurie nods his head at her. “Miss March.”

“Please. Call me Jo. Everyone does.”

“Jo.”

Laurie then glances at me. “I don’t think I know you.”

I hold my hand out to him. “Y/n, Mr Laurie. I’m friends with the Marches.”

He smiles again, and it’s so pretty my chest hurts. Is this what falling in love is like? Is it supposed to be painful? Supposed to feel like you’re being ripped apart and glued together all at the same time?

I lean myself on the wall outside, my head against the cool stone bricks. My head is pounding, my temples aching.

I didn’t think that seeing him again would have such a strong reaction from me, but apparently even my heart rate still hurts because of him.

I can hear footsteps, but I don’t have the energy to hide my distress from anyone right now. Hopefully whoever it is will just walk by and leave me be.

“Y/n?”

The sound of Laurie’s voice will forever bring me the biggest rush of emotions in the world, but where it used to invite happiness and joy, now entices fear and anxiety and anguish.

I squeeze my eyes shut tight. “Hello Laurie.” I’m surprised at how even my voice sounds. I expected it to come out shaky and distant.

“Hey.” He sounds unsure of what he’s doing. “What’s happening with you?”

My eyes are still closed, and I still have my head against the rocky wall. I shrug one shoulder. “Nothing much, thanks for asking.”

There’s three heartbeats of silence.

Then: “How are you?”

I sigh, open my eyes. “Laurie. Why are you doing this?”

His eyes are unreadable. “Doing what?”

“You know what.”

“Y/n, I…” His voice fades. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

I give him a hard look. “Sorry? Laurie, this isn’t about what happened all those years ago. I’m over it; I’m over you.” I was lying through my teeth, but I refused to give him the satisfaction that knowledge would bring.

I sigh. “What are you doing, Laurie?” I wave my hand at him helplessly. “Drinking, probably gambling again? Fawning over random girls? Laurie, you’re better than this. And you know it, too. You’re throwing your life away, and I…” I swallow. “As your friend, I can’t just sit and watch. You need to stop this. Go home, go see your grandfather. Stop destroying the little boy he used to be so proud of.”

I turn, and walk away, leaving Laurie out there in the moonlight.

I don’t breathe until I reach Fred and Amy again. They’re laughing and drinking champagne together, but when they see me, the conversation dies.

“Hey, you okay?” Amy asks.

I try to nod, then tears glisten in my eyes and I have to drop. I shake my head, meeting my friend’s eyes. “I’m gonna go home,” I tell her.

She nods in understanding, her eyes searching mine, desperate for answers.

“I told him what he needed to hear,” I say quickly. “But—he still doesn’t know how much it hurts. And it hurts just to see him. It hurts deep in my soul. I—I can’t—“ I have to force myself to take a deep breath, sobs building in my chest.

I leave, Amy’s hand squeezing mine as I go.

I lie on my back, staring at the ceiling as ‘Aunt’ March chatters about how Fed and Amy are soon to be engaged, so I really must hurry and marry soon.

“Are you even listening to me, y/n?” she asks sharply.

I sit up straight in an instant. “Uh—yes of course, Ms March.”

“How many times must I ask you to call me Aunt,” she sighs. “You’re practically family at this point, my dear.”

I smile. “Alright, Aunt March.”

“Very good. Now, as I was saying…”

I zone back out as she talks, my mind drifting instead to Laurie. I truly had thought I was over him, or at least pretty much so. Rather, the moment I saw him, I thought I might explode. Seeing his smile, his eyes, the way he stands, it made all the memories just come flooding back.

“Laurie—“ I call, walking into his room one pretty Saturday morning. “Get up lazy bones. We’ve got things to do!���

The only response is a groan from underneath Laurie’s covers. I sit on the edge and poke at him.

“Come on!” I beg. “We’re gonna be late, you know.”

Laurie’s curls peep out. “Late for what?” he asks groggily.

I resist the urge to giggle. “Late for our adventures, of course. We have a walk planned, and you promised me you’d teach me fencing this weekend, and you have to keep that promise. It was a pinky promise.”

Laurie groans again. “I don’t want to get up, y/n.”

“What? Even to spend time with me?”

“Yes. Go away.”

I roll my eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, Theodore Laurence, not until you get—up—“ I poke him in the shoulder twice.

“Y/n!” he whines.

I laugh. “Yes, Laurie?”

He sticks his head fully out now, and looks at me. “You’re my best friend, and I love you, but I am not getting up yet.”

I ignore the flutter in my chest and grab his arm, pulling him hard. “Yes you are! I promised your grandfather I’d force you to exercise while he’s gone, and I intend to keep my promise.”

“Fine,” Laurie relents. He allows me to drag him out of bed, and after he’s dressed, the two of us head off into our favourite trail in the woods.

My heart hurts, and my head hurts, and my eyes hurt. I want to get up, go for a walk or something, but I can’t find it in me to do so. So I simply close my eyes and continue to lay face-up along the foot of my four-poster bed.

It doesn’t seem like long at all before someone is tapping my shoulder.

“Sorry, Amy,” I mumble, eyes still closed. “Did I drift off?”

“It’s… not Amy,” a quiet voice answers.

I sit up straight immediately, and come face to face with none other than Laurie Laurence.

“Hi.” He almost says it like a question.

I frown a little, unsure of the nature of this unexpected visit. “Hello, Laurie.”

He winces a little. “Look, you don’t have to say anything. You said plenty last night.”

“You needed to hear it,” I retort.

“I know.” He lets out his breath. “I’ve been thinking, all night, about what you said. You were right, you were right about all of it. I am wasting my life, I’m ruining everything because of one stupid mistake that unravelled it all. And–and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I’ve hurt you, in all the ways that I have. You don’t deserve a friend like me; you never did.”

He stands to go, and for a heartbeat, I think about letting him. But then,

“Laurie!”

“Laurie!”

I see him, walking along the street as I pass on the other side. I immediately break away from Jo, who I was escorting to town. “I'll see you later, Jo.”

She smiles knowingly and shoos me off. “Bye, y/n/n.”

“Laurie!” I call again, running to catch up with him.

At the sound of my voice, he half-turns, double-takes, and then his face breaks into a wide grin, the way he always saves just for me. “Y/n!”

I run right until I’m in his arms. “I missed you,” I sigh into his hair. “When did you get back?”

I feel him smiling. “Only just this morning. I was going to surprise you, but you beat me to it, tesoro mio.”

“Laurie, you know I don’t speak Italian,” I laugh, pulling away slightly to look at him. “I’m not the one who just went to Italy for a year. And don’t use it without telling me the meanings; it’s mean! I never know what you’re saying.”

Laurie has a faint smirk on his face. “Sorry, tesoro mio.”

I roll my eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”

“You love me,” he replies easily, and oh, how badly I want to agree with him out loud. Yes, I wanted to say. Yes, I’m head over heels in love with you.

So I do say it. “Yes,” I say, “I do.”

Laurie blinks at me. “What?”

My mouth opens a little, but for a second, nothing comes out. “I do love you,” I say slowly.

Laurie stares at me. “Why?”

“Everything, Laurie,” I sigh. “You’re kind, and beautiful, and you understand me better than even I can. You’re always there to cheer me up when I need that, and when I’m sad, you’re all too happy to give me your shoulder to cry on. You always know exactly what I’m thinking, and feeling, and you always know the right thing to say. You don’t mind my silly ramblings, or fantasies, and you don't care what anyone thinks of you. You’re always the person I want to be around; Laurie, you make me so happy. I love you, Laurie Laurence, and I think I always have.”

There’s silence for a minute, just a heartbeat too long to feel comfortable. All I can hear are the birds in the trees above us, but their songs sound alarming.

Laurie looks away, then at the sky, and finally back at me. His tongue swipes his lower lip in a way that I know is nervous.

“Y/n,” he says, and his tone instantly crushes me. “I—that’s extremely sweet and beautiful and I love you too, but…”

My heart sinks. “But you love Jo.” A part of me had always known, but I’d tried to convince myself otherwise. Clearly, my instinct had been correct.

“I can’t help it!” Laurie tries to justify himself, but he has no reason to. He can’t help who he’s fallen in love with, just as I cannot help falling in love with him. “I love you, y/n, I truly do. You’re my best friend… but the love I feel for Jo, it’s different. And you’re not her. You will never, and can never be her.”

I feel like someone has ripped my heart from my chest, stepped on it, thrown it into a frozen lake, and shoved it back inside of me. All I can manage is a nod.

“You should probably tell her then,” I whisper, and I turn to go. I can’t bear looking at him any longer.

That was the last time I’d seen Laurie for a very long time. I’d left for Europe with Amy, leaving Laurie and Jo to have a life together, if that’s what they wanted. Turns out Jo never saw him in that way, and he was rejected by her later that very same day.

I was still amazing friends with all the March girls, and I still cradled my childhood memories close to my heart.

But my heart has never healed. Every time Laurie Laurence was on my mind, it stung like only yesterday. Any day that a memory of those long walks, the silly fights, the hugs and dances, the inside jokes and dumb decisions came to me, I’d break down and cry.

“Laurie!”

He stops at the sound of my voice, turns, and his green eyes meet mine. He stares, waiting for me to speak.

“Don’t leave,” I say softly. “Please. Don’t make the mistake I did.”

He turns to fully face me now. “What mistake?”

I let out a breath. “Running. When someone needed me most.”

His eyes clear in understanding. I missed this about him, the way he’d always know exactly what I meant by everything. I never had to explain anything, because Laurie knew my heart. He always understood what I was trying to say, no matter what.

“Y/n—“

I hold my hand to stop his words. “Don’t say anything,” I tell

him. “You don’t have to. You have never, and will never, be under any obligation to return the feelings I have for you. That’s not your fault, and it wasn’t back then, and I’m sorry that I dropped you out of my life after that day. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when Jo turned you down, I’m sorry I never replied or even read your letters. I—“

“You never read my letters?” Laurie’s voice sounds broken.

I stop. “No. I—I didn’t.”

Laurie looks down, his forehead scrunching together. “No wonder…” he mutters. “You… you had no idea.”

Now it’s my turn to frown. “No idea about what?”

He glances up, his eyes searching mine, for what I don’t know. “I wrote to you, y/n. Dozens of times. I poured my heart out into those letters. I told you how much I missed you, how badly I was hurting over what I’d said to you that day. I��I told you how Jo helped me to realise that it really was you all along. I’ve been in love with you since I first met you, y/n, and I never stopped. I just didn't realise it. But when you never wrote back, I assumed that was your answer.”

“Oh, Laurie,” I whisper, tears in my voice. “I’m so sorry.” A million thoughts are racing through my mind, but one rises above the others.

“Is it still true?”

He hesitates. “That I love you?”

I nod once. “Yeah.”

“It will always be true.”

And for the first time in a long while, I feel at home again.

[avocado-hater]

If I had a nickle for everytime I've seen Timmy C marrying Florence P even tho he is in love with someone else I'd have two nickles which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

[timotheecontent]

LITTLE WOMEN (2019) dir. Greta Gerwig

[papes-and-capes]

CHRISTIAN BALE as THEODORE “LAURIE” LAURENCE

[jessmalia]

Got love-struck, went straight to my head Got lovesick all over my bed Love to think you’ll never forget We’ll pay the price, I guess

[hockey-and-timbits]

—Little Women, (Greta Gerwig, 2019)

[loverangels]

somethin' stupid

pairings: laurie laurence x fem!reader

synopsis: you had watched the boy you loved run after another girl your whole life, yet when he falls back to you as his second option you have to make a heartbreaking decision.

a/n: literally all angst 😭, use of (name), mention of drinking

𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩

Through foggy windows and layers of love, you had watched Laurie Laurence devote his adoration to jo march. Despite being there as a friend to step back on, despite the comforting moments where you were a shoulder to cry on, and despite the fact that you were utterly and profoundly in love with the boy, it didn't seem to change anything.

Moments were hard, watching Laurie and your best friend Jo during the times where the three of you hung out, watching Jo being her carefree self not needing to try to get Laurie's attention, the alternative to you, whilst Laurie chased her around and danced with his feelings around her.

And then there was you.

Jo had confided to you of her fears of the laurence boys feelings, and Laurie confided to you his feelings for Jo.

'i just don't know what to do!' Jo exclaimed 'i love Laurie I do but...not the way he loves me. My love is as strong, it just comes from a different place'

'i love her and I think...I think if I showed her how much I love her she'll tell me loves me just as much' Laurie sighed leaning his head on your shoulder. 'shes the only one for me'

and you? well you were just there.

a witness to the horrible testimony despite your shattered heart.

𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩

You knew what had taken place the moment you had watched Laurie out of your window, almost somberly walk back, home his head hung down, hands stuffed in his pockets and tears stained down his cheeks.

You knew Jo had refused him.

You should have felt a relief, the cold rush over your body as though you had just taken a refreshing gulp of air.

You felt almost cleansed and you were ashamed of yourself for that.

𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩

Four years.

You had never thought how lonely you would be, every night it seemed as though you cursed yourself for ever wishing such a horrible thing upon Laurie because now...now it had been four years since you had seen him.

Your mother had passed away not too long after Laurie had left for Europe.

Not only were you dealing with the grief for the boy who you loved, but also for the turning point of losing a mother.

With the some of the last money you had, you arranged a nice small ceremony for her, inviting the marchs' and Laurie.

However it seemed as though Laurie hadn't cared enough to arrive back.

The marchs' gave their condolences comforting you, yet it seemed as though the one person who you needed the most didn't need you.

At the end of the first year you decided to go abroad. To Italy. You packed all the last possesions you owned and rented your small home out to a family whilst you were abroad.

Landing in Italy you had opened a tailor shop selling plain dresses and mending old belongings. As you made a name for yourself and gathered more money you had made a wider range of clothing and now luxurious elegant gowns.

So that's what you did.

Rich women with rich needs would come to you to stitch together a gown of their dreams, and you would make quite a good living out of it.

𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩

It had been years and you were thriving, you had a fiancé who had quite some money and was a thoughtful man, you yourself had made yourself a name and money and you had some friends.

And now you were here dragged by Amy to some sort of party in paris.

How you ended up there was beyond you.

The room was buzzing with excited chatter and flirty glances, the floor lit with somber lighting, shirts loosened and curls detangled.

Engaging happily with Amy about Aaron, your fiancé, a glass in your hand as you swirled the remains of your drink.

"...and we're to get married in summer," you continue, your voice carrying a practiced cheerfulness. "Aaron and I were debating on May, but having it in the summer seemed perfect—" You pause mid-sentence, noticing Amy's gaze shift behind you. Her eyes widen, darting nervously between you and whatever—or whoever—she sees.

Your heart begins to race, dread and curiosity mingling as you slowly turn to follow her line of sight. And there he is. Laurie. Theodore Laurence, strewn across a couch in the midst of a lively crowd, his drunken smile and magnetic presence exactly as you remember—and yet entirely unfamiliar. For a moment, the world tilts, the din of laughter and clinking glasses fading into silence. It’s been four years. Four years since you last saw him, four years since you tucked your feelings for him into the quiet corner of your heart, convinced he’d never look at you the way you wished he would.

And yet, here he is, thrown casually on the arm of a velvet couch, a charming grin aimed at the young women beside him.

Your chest tightens as the sight of him threatens to undo you. He looks so at ease, so... content. You force yourself to breathe, but the air feels heavy, laden with emotions you thought you'd buried long ago. Your fingers tighten around the stem of your glass as he glances up—and for the briefest moment, your eyes meet.

Air caught in your throat as you swallow the lump weighing down on your heart, as you tear your eyes away, whipping back around to Amy almost at a loss for breath.

Shaken you excuse yourself from Amy and her pitiful eyes when she gives your hand a squeeze, as you walk past and outside onto the porch, letting your eyes close as the cool breeze softens your muscles.

After a few minutes of regulating your breathing, you turned around, your fingers brushing the ornate railing of the Parisian railing of the poarch. as you hear the soft click of the door opening behind you. The distant hum of party chatter and laughter carried on the breeze, but it was his voice, low and familiar, that pierced through it all.

'(name)'

Your breath caught, and for a moment, you froze. You hadn’t heard him say your name in years, not like this—gentle, hesitant, almost uncertain. It sounded older, heavier somehow, as if he bore the weight of those four years just as you did.

You turn slowly, the soft glow of the garden lamps casting faint shadows across his face. He was still Laurie—blacken hair and sharp-featured—but his boyishness had given way to something sharper, something a little more tired. He stepped towards you, and you instinctively took a step back, gripping the railing tighter.

"You followed me out here?" Your voice cold, more so than you intended, but the storm of emotions building in your chest left little room for restraint.

He stopped short, a flicker of something unreadable passing across his face. "I had to."

"Had to?" you echoed, a bitter laugh escaping your lips. "That’s funny, because you didn’t have to—" you bit the words off, closing her eyes briefly, as if reining in your anger. When you opened them again, your gaze was sharp and unyielding. "You didn’t have to come to my mother’s funeral. Or write. Or even—" you shook your head, your voice cracking slightly. "You didn’t have to do anything, did you, Laurie?"

He flinched, and for the first time, you saw the guilt etched into his features. "I—"

"Where were you?" The question came out like a whisper, but it hit him like a blow. "Where were you when I needed you most?"

Laurie looked down at his hands, as if searching for an answer there, before finally meeting your gaze. "I was a coward," he admitted, his voice barely audible. "When Jo said no, I ran. I didn’t know how to stay. Not with you, not with anyone. I thought—" He took a shaky breath. "I thought I was doing you a favor by staying away."

"A favor?" You repeat, incredulous. "You thought abandoning me—when I lost the only family I had left—was a favor?"

"I didn’t know what to say!" he burst out, his voice rising. "I didn’t know how to look you in the eye and face what I’d done. And I ruined it. I ruined everything."

"You didn’t ruin it," you said finally, your voice trembling. "You just… left. And you broke me, Laurie. You broke me."

The silence that followed was thick and heavy, broken only by the faint strains of music drifting out from the party inside. He looked at you, his eyes glassy with unshed tears. "I’m sorry," he said.

But sorry wasn’t enough.

You turn your back to him, gripping the railing as you stare out into the garden. "You can’t just show up here and expect everything to go back to the way it was," you say quietly. "I’ve spent years putting myself back together. And I don’t even know if I want—" you stopped, shaking your head.

"If you want me in your life," Laurie finished for her, his voice soft. He stepped closer, but this time, he didn’t try to reach for you. "I understand. I don’t deserve it. But I’d like to try, if you’ll let me."

You turn to face him again, eyes searching his for something—anything—that would make this easier. What you saw there wasn’t the boy you fallen in love with. It was someone else entirely. Someone older. Someone who had suffered in his own way.

"Small steps," you said at last, voice steady but firm. "If we’re going to fix this… it’s going to take time."

His lips parted slightly, as if he wanted to say more, but instead, he nodded. "Small steps," he repeated.

The faint trace of a smile tugged at your lips, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. "Good."

𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩

Over the span of a few weeks, you and Laurie had spent many occasions together, slowly constructing back the fondness you both held for each other. Tension was still palpable and strained at times, yet often you found yourself grinning and laughing at him.

Right now Laurie had arrived outside of the hotel you were residing in and you agreed to let him tag along.

As you shopped for a wedding dress.

When you told Laurie you were engaged you were too busy avoiding his gaze, and acting as though you were indifferent to his opinion, than to notice his crestfallen look and clenched jaw as you told him about Aaron.

Now, with the same bitter taste on his tongue, laurie was trailing along you as you busied yourself with the racks of dresses.

'you havent told me when the wedding is' Laurie spoke as you picked a certain dress that had caught your eye.

'oh' you simply remark 'its taking place in Rome in June'

And that's the last thing you say before you walk into the dressing room, dress in your hand, leaving laurie drowning in the words that threaten to leave his tongue.

𐙚˙⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩

The silk glided over your skin as you stepped out of the dressing room, your breath catching at the sight in the mirror. The gown clung and flowed in all the right places, the corset cinching your waist perfectly while the long, flowy sleeves cascaded like a whisper of elegance. Tiny pink roses and green leaves embroidered on the fabric seemed to bloom in the soft light of the shop, each detail a testament to the craftsmanship. The bow at the small of your back tied it all together, making you feel—for the first time in a long while—utterly beautiful.

You turned slightly, running your fingers over the delicate embroidery, your reflection almost unrecognizable. "It’s perfect," you murmured to yourself, a small smile tugging at your lips.

The sound of footsteps made you glance toward the door, and there he was. Laurie.

He froze the moment he saw you. His hand still on the door, his lips parted slightly, as though he’d forgotten how to breathe. His gaze swept over you, slow and deliberate, drinking in every detail as if he was committing it to memory—the softness of the silk, the curve of the corset, the gentle blush of the embroidery, the way the gown moved with you like it was made for no one else.

"You—" he began, his voice catching. He stepped closer, his expression shifting into something almost reverent. "You look… breathtaking."

Heat rose to your cheeks, and you ducked your head slightly, a laugh escaping despite yourself. "You’re being dramatic."

"I’m not," he said quickly, almost too quickly. His voice was softer now, his eyes locked on you. "I mean it. You look… like a dream."

You felt the compliment settle in your chest, warm and fluttering, as though it had been a long time since someone looked at you quite like that. You smoothed the fabric of the dress nervously, glancing back at your reflection. "Do you think Aaron will like it?"

The words hung in the air like a crack of thunder.

Laurie’s expression changed instantly, the warmth in his eyes replaced by something harder, sharper. His jaw tightened, and he took a step back as if the name physically pushed him away.

"Don’t marry him," he said suddenly, his voice low and urgent.

You blinked, stunned. "What?"

"Don’t marry him," he repeated, louder this time, his eyes searching yours. There was a desperation in his voice, an almost frantic edge. "I can’t— I won’t let you."

Anger flared in your chest, your heart pounding as you turned to face him fully. "What are you talking about? You won’t let me? Laurie, what—"

"I love you," he interrupted, the words tumbling out as if he couldn’t hold them back any longer. His hands clenched into fists at his sides, his voice breaking. "I love you, (name). I have for so long, and I was too stupid to see it, to admit it. But I see it now, and it’s not too late—"

"Not too late?" you cut him off, your voice rising. "Not too late?" Emotion surged through you, hot and overwhelming, and before you could stop yourself, the words poured out. "Laurie, I loved you from the moment I met you. It was always you, me, and Jo. And I waited for you. I waited even after you left, even after my mother died, even after you didn’t come back. And now—" Your voice cracked, your eyes stinging with tears. "Now, when I’ve finally moved on, when I’ve built a life for myself, this is when you tell me you love me?"

"(name)—" he began, stepping toward you, but you held up a hand, stopping him in his tracks.

"No," you said, shaking your head, your voice trembling with frustration. "I won’t be your second choice, Laurie."

"You’re not—"

"Really?" you snapped, your eyes blazing as the tears spilled over. "Jo didn’t marry you, so now you fall back to the person you know would? That’s cruel. It’s mean, and I won’t give you the satisfaction."

The silence that followed was deafening, the air between you heavy with words unsaid. Laurie’s face crumpled, his shoulders slumping as if your words had struck him like a physical blow. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out.

You turned sharply, retreating to the dressing room, your hands trembling as you pulled at the laces of the corset. The dress that had made you feel so beautiful minutes ago now felt suffocating, the silk clinging too tightly to your skin. You slipped back into your regular clothes, blinking back tears as you tried to steady your breathing.

When you stepped out, the shop was quiet. Too quiet. Laurie was gone.

The woman behind the counter gave you a sympathetic look, her hands clasped in front of her. "He paid for the dress," she said softly, as if afraid her words might shatter you completely.

You nodded, swallowing the lump in your throat, and forced yourself to smile. "Thank you," you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.

As you left the shop, the weight of everything pressed down on you, but you held your head high, determined not to let the tears fall. Not here. Not now.

[fauxunraveling]

what if my true love is a fictional character played by timothée chalamet