#Thena lets him use her hot water bottle

[softquietsteadylove]

Hi! I thought about that Thena maybe sees his bruises that he got from falling down the stairs, when he makes himself ready for the night and is worried about him?

Maybe some soft moment?

I think it was from the teach me to love au!

"Gil."

He turned at that soft voice. He pulled his t-shirt on the rest of the way and turned on his side of the bed, "what's up, Angel?"

Thena came into the room, pushing the door closed gently behind her. She padded over to him, eyes running over him in the soft light of the lamp. "Let me see."

He almost wasn't sure what she was talking about at first, until he saw her eyes on him. As much as he might have enjoyed turning this into some teasing, maybe a little fun. He sighed.

Thena bit into her lip as he pulled his shirt off again, exposing the bruises that were forming and already starting to develop colour. "Gil, these are bad."

"I've had worse," he chuckled, but got poked between the ribs with a thin, manicured finger. "Ah!"

"I mean it," she muttered, not indulging in his attempt to laugh it off. "Gil, you could have gotten really hurt."

He frowned, turning on the bed to look at her better. She had tears in her eyes, "Thena-"

"Do you know how I started telling Druig no running?--especially with socks on?" She adjusted her legs beside her, winding out of her nightdress. "He was just starting to walk."

"You have to watch them at that age so closely," she shook her head as she remembered it. "I was still at home with him full time, but I just...I just had to run to the office for a few minutes."

Gil didn't like the sound of this, most definitely barrelling towards a story of her ex-husband.

"I told Kro to watch him, I still had baby gates up, I thought-" Thena cut herself off, pinching her eyes closed. Her whole body shuddered. "I was only gone a half hour."

Gil pulled her closer to him, nuzzling her temple, "what happened, Angel?"

She sniffled. "I came back and Druig was screaming bloody murder. I asked Kro what happened and he said he didn't know. He was in the living room and Druig was 'around'."

Gil rolled his eyes.

"Druig had gotten up enough momentum that he couldn't stop and slid right into the corner of the coffee table," she sighed, her shoulders dropping. "When I looked at his hair he even had some blood. I was angrier than I ever remember being in my life."

"I think that's understandable, Angel," Gil kissed her hair. And it sounded exactly like the Kro they knew (unfortunately).

"Ever since then I'm particularly vigilant about running, and sock feet, and especially stairs-"

Gil pressed a kiss to Thena's forehead, reclining her more in his arms so they could look at each other without hurting their necks. "I'm sorry, Thena. I knew the rule had a reason and I indulged him too much."

She put her hand on his cheek, "it's not like I never indulge it. These things happen."

He still felt bad about it.

She tapped her finger against his chin, "Gil, you protected him from something that happens to kids everyday. That is all that matters, you know."

"I know, but," he shook his head. He gave her a wincing expression, "well, maybe I was feeling a little more indulgent than I usual because of the whole-"

"Personal space."

They both laughed as they finished the collective and familiar sentence. Thena nodded, "it's been hard for you."

Gil shook his head, "it's been hard on Druig."

Thena tilted her head at him, "on you, too. You've been extra careful around him. It's hard when they're unhappy with you."

Gil nodded. She knew very well what it was like to have to be the villain based solely on making the responsible decisions. "We were having fun."

Thena smiled, kissing him gently, "he loves you."

He leaned into her touch on his cheek, "I love him too, Angel."

"He trusts you enough to ask you not to tell me," Thena offered both to help his spirits and with not that pleased an expression.

"Ah, kids do that," he shrugged, settling them on the bed more comfortably. "I guess it's good that he trusts me, still."

"He always trusted you, Gil," she leaned up and pecked his cheek as he settled her on his chest against the pillows, "he just got a little shaken up."

He chuckled; that could be said about the 'personal space' incident and the fall just today. He sighed.

"It'll pass," Thena promised him as she pulled the comforter up around them. She leaned up to kiss him again, "Druig trusts you. And I trust you, love."

[cupidmarwani-archive]

Evan Buckley vs The Pool (2/2)

Summary: After the tsunami, Buck isn’t exactly friends with the water.

WC: 1671

It’s been almost two months since the last pool party, and all the trouble that came with it. To be honest, Athena was a bit hesitant to do this again. It seems like a good idea, sure, and it’s another hot day that could use refreshing water and great company, but that’s what she thought last time, before most of their guests left in shame, the others accompanying Buck to the hospital. She’s a little afraid to do this over, despite knowing that Hen and Chimney learned their lesson. As if the guilt of seeing what happened to Buck wasn’t enough, Bobby had them both doing every gross chore at the firehouse for nearly two weeks. Lord knows Hen was unhappy about it, but she was also resigned. She knows she messed up, and if that’s what it takes to make up for it, she’ll scrub the toilets for a year. She’s sweet like that.

“I feel weird doing this again,” she admits, taking the cold beer Athena hands her. “I know Buck forgave us, and we’d never do that to him again, but I just- I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“You weren’t, but what matters is he’s okay, and it won’t happen again.”

Hen sighs and nods. Everyone else has started to settle into the party already, having fun and smiling, enjoying themselves. Karen and Denny are playing some sort of game in the pool, eagerly inviting Harry, May and Christopher to participate. Maddie squeals in laughter when Chimney splashes her with water. Off to the side, Buck and Eddie are helping Bobby grill up burgers, and Michael has made it his personal mission to blow up a float shaped like a shark. It’s a happy sight, but the other one was too.

“I’m kinda nervous too. Seeing Buck like that was awful, and having it happen here, especially after his blood clot incident- I hate not being able to help.”

“It’s not your fault, Thena.”

They enjoy their drinks in the shade, just observing for now. Both of them can feel the weight of the things that have happened to such a genuine and loving man out back on this property, and despite it all, he comes back with this big goofy smile on his face and a bottle of wine for Athena in his hands. He’s a good kid. He’s just been through a lot, and needs some support. Bobby alleges Buck started therapy after what happened last time, and is beginning to work through the trauma. It still worries her, though, especially when Christopher begs Eddie and Buck to come into the pool.

She waits for the excuse, or for Eddie to kiss Buck’s cheek and get in the water, but instead, there’s a moment of hesitation for them both. They share a look, and Bobby ruffles Buck’s hair with some quiet and presumably encouraging comment. Beside her, Athena can practically feel Hen’s shock. Buck takes Eddie’s hand, and lowers his feet into the pool. The steps on the very edge are perfect for getting used to it, even if he pales and stares at the water like it’ll bite him.

Athena wants to encourage him, but she knows the moment she draws attention to this moment, he’ll get shy or spooked and return to his post at the grillside. She smiles at the sight of him doing something scary, but feeling safe enough around them to do it. Despite it all, he’s here, sitting on the highest step with the water gently playing at his waist while Eddie reassures him.

Back when the two of them first got together, Athena was just waiting for it to blow up. Buck is sensitive and reluctant in terms of relationships, quick to jump into something and get hurt when the other person isn’t as invested as him. It’s what happened with that redhead he dated. But Eddie makes him happy, and there’s a soft understanding on his face as he cups Buck’s cheek and reassures him again. After a few minutes, when Buck moves down a step and lets the cool water press against his chest, and he tenses in fear, Eddie is right there to remind him he’s safe, and point out where Christopher is happy and playing with the others, not lost or in danger.

Every so often, he casts a glance behind him toward Bobby, as though reminding himself that he’s not lost in wreckage, but in a backyard party with people who love him so wholly and completely that he never has to suffer alone. If he lets them, they’ll look after him. As it is now, Athena is battling back the urge to get in the water with him and just hug him tightly. She wants to tell him it’s going to be okay.

After a few minutes and visible encouragement from Buck, Eddie goes further into the pool to mess around with everyone else. Buck gets out slightly, moving back up to the top step and turning his body to chat with Bobby. It’ll keep his mind off things. He smiles gratefully when Bobby hands him a beer, and even from this distance, his shoulders visibly relax with each passing minute.

Once dinner’s ready, he gets out of the water all too eagerly, and sets up three plates he just barely manages to balance in his arms. One for himself, one for Christopher, and one for Eddie. Athena notices the way he walks around the pool, giving it tons of space before settling down with the boys. She turns to say something to Hen about it, but before she can, she recognizes the mischief on Harry’s face. He’s up to something. She doesn’t want to know, but if she doesn’t, it’s just going to happen and they’ll have to deal with the cleanup of whatever scheme he’s on about now.

“Harry,” she yells, standing up. 

He just gives her a thumbs up and yells, “Buck, watch this!”

Then, once Buck has stopped and turned his full attention to Harry, the same adoring and happy expression on his face as every time a child seems to want his approval, Harry jumps into the pool and doesn’t come up. Just like what happened to Buck before. Then, like instinct, Buck drops his plate and dives in after him, bringing Harry to the edge of the pool and passing him to Athena, then seeming to realize exactly where he is and what just happened. 

“Athena,” he says, and his voice sounds so tight. “Athena, I can’t-”

Michael takes Harry from her, leading him inside to give him a stern talking to, and she’s able to focus on how Buck is starting to hyperventilate, even with his head above water and clinging to the edge of the pool. “Yes you can, honey, it’s okay. You’re okay. Can you get out of the water on your own, or do you want help?”

Before he can answer, Hen and Chimney are in the water with him, each taking one of his arms and slowly guiding him to the shallows. Not too fast, nothing to remind him of the ripping current of the tsunami. Once they get him to the steps, Eddie and Bobby are there with a towel to help him get out and dry him off as fast as possible. It’s not as bad as last time, in some ways. Buck wasn’t in physical danger. He seems more lucid. But he’s still scared and panicked and trying to figure out how to process going back into the water of his own free will, instinct or not, for the first time since the tsunami. 

Athena joins them and wraps her arms around Buck. He clings to her just as much as he does Eddie. Her arm around his chest is held in a vice grip, while Buck’s free hand is around the back of Eddie’s neck, his face pressed to the tanned skin of Eddie’s shoulder. His eyes stay squeezed shut for a long time, even as his breathing slowly returns to normal.

“What do you need, Buck?” she asks gently.

He shakes his head. No real answer, then. But he’s mostly dry now, just cold, so it’s welcome when Hen comes over with the throw from inside to wrap around him. Christopher slowly makes his way over to join them, just as before, and throws his arms around Buck in hopes of comforting him. Last time, he had helped. He’s such a good kid, him and Eddie both, and Athena is so grateful to them for being there for Buck when he can barely hold himself together. Finally, Buck lets go of her in favor of holding Chris, and Athena stands back up. 

She can faintly hear Michael yelling at Harry inside over what he did. He was never in danger, he just wanted to get Buck in the water. He meant well, was just trying to make Buck get in the water without fear, but that’s not his place. Earlier, he went into the water, and that was progress. He needs to be allowed to move at his own pace. 

“I’m really proud of you,” she tells him. His eyes are still wide and tearful when he looks up at her, but at least he’s calm enough to hear. “It must have taken a lot of courage to get in the water earlier with Eddie, and to jump in after Harry. I’m so, so proud of you, and I want you to know that.”

He nods, still too upset to say something in return, and Athena leans down to kiss his forehead before she leaves him be with the boys. Everyone else focuses on doing something that takes up their attention, giving Buck some privacy as he calms down in a show of compassion she should have expected. The party isn’t over this time, and within a half hour, Buck is serving ice cream into a paper bowl for Christopher. He’s going to be okay.

[buckleysjareau]

everything is blue

When Evan Buckley is ten, he discovers nail polish.

-

In which Buck paints his nails, Eddie is flustered, and May is matchmaker.

read on ao3

When Evan Buckley is ten years old, he discovers nail polish. At twenty-eight years old, thinking back, he feels like an idiot because who doesn’t know what nail polish is?

Maddie always had some bright color on her nails and ten year old Buck wanted to have bright nails more than anything. He sneaks the nail polish from his sister’s room at three in the morning, thanking God he’s always been good at keeping quiet, and he picks out a sky blue polish. Watching Maddie, he figured it would be as easy as she made it look, but the nail polish is all over his nails and fingers by the time Maddie finds him. 

“If you wanted me to paint your nails, you could have just asked.” She whispers. 

Buck jumps. “Please don’t tell mom and dad.”

Maddie tiredly smiles. “Lips are sealed.” 

“Throw away the key?”

“Throw away the key.” She holds out her pinky and smiles when his small pinky links with hers. “Here, let me help.” She guides Buck to the toilet, sits him down, and grabs nail polish remover from the cabinet. 

“You still want this color?” Maddie smiles as she holds up the Essie bottle. 

Buck grins. “Yeah, it reminds me of summer.” 

When Maddie finishes his nails, he’s beaming. He’s wanted to have pretty nails since he saw Maddie’s glitter polish collection. 

“Alright, Evan, time for bed. You better get up tomorrow when I wake you up for school.” Maddie warns. 

Buck just rolls his eyes. “Yes, mom.”

The next day, things go from good to bad within a second. He’s reeling, so happy and loves the color of his nails and he feels like nothing can take it away. Until something does take it away.

That something being Logan Hawk. He’s always had a problem with the sixth grader, he thought he owned their grade school and even at ten years old, Buck wanted to punch the asshole out of him but because he’s little wimpy Evan he won’t. 

“You a queer or somethin’, Buckley?” Logan grabs Buck’s hand and examines the blue on his nails. “Huh? Use your words, queer.” 

He doesn’t remember doing what he does next, and he hates that he doesn’t remember it. He’d love to remember finally punching Logan Hawk. He does however remember his parents coming in to take him home for being suspended. 

He remembers the entire ride home, his dad’s yelling loud enough to hurt Buck’s ears. Madeline is going to pay for letting you use her nail polish. Doesn’t she know it’s only for girls? No son of mine is gonna be a queer, you hear me? As soon as we get home, wash that shit off your nails, Evan. If not, there will be hell to pay.

 That was the first and only time he’d painted his nails. Now at twenty-eight, a little more than drunk, he doesn’t hear Logan’s voice or his dad’s as he feels the need to paint his nails a pretty color. Or colors, more than one color would be exciting.

He picks up his phone and dials the one person who he knows isn’t at work and would have nail polish. “Hey ‘Thena.” 

“What’s up, Buckaroo?” He hears the amusement in her voice and grins. 

“Will you come over and paint my nails?” 

“Paint your nails?” She tries to clarify.

“Yeah, I really want to paint them but I have none and I’m really shit at it. Can you bring nail polish?” 

“You’re lucky I love you, Buckaroo.” 

Buck feels like there’s sunshine coming from his heart and lighting his whole apartment. “Awwwww, ‘Thena, I love you too.”

The phone hangs up and ten minutes later, Athena is letting herself in with the key he gave her after he’d fallen down the stairs trying to get to his bed in his cast. She’s got a small bin in her hand, full of colors and glitter, and Buck is beaming.

“Should I be concerned that it’s only eight at night and you’re this drunk?” Athena raises her brow and crosses her arms and Buck thinks it’s so motherly, he wants to cry. 

“I’m not that drunk.” He pouts. “Can I see the colors?”

Athena snorts. “Knock yourself out, kid.” 

He sets aside a silver nail polish and continues to look. He does the same thing with the pink, and when he finds the exact shade Buck used when he was ten, he grips it in his hand and places it near his chest. Athena’s looking at him weird, but really, Buck couldn’t find it in him to be embarrassed about it.

“Can you do these three colors?” 

“I sure can. Can you get me a paper towel and some tissues?” 

Buck does as she says and gets comfortable on the couch when he gets back. 

It’s quiet for a minute as she carefully does the first coat of pink. When she’s done, she reaches for his other hand. “Don’t touch those, they’re not dry.” 

“Aye, aye, Captain.” He snorts. 

Athena fondly rolls her eyes. “So what’s with the sudden urge to have your nails painted?”

“It’s not sudden. I’ve wanted to paint my nails since I was ten. It didn’t go well the first time I did it, so I haven’t since. But a school bully and my asshole of a father aren’t here to tell me I can’t. Fuck toxic masculinity.” Buck is honest when he’s drunk, he’ll spill his deepest darkest secrets and not remember doing it the next day. He hates that but, here he is, still drinking and still spilling secrets. 

“Well, I’m sorry it didn’t go as well the first time, but I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to trust me to paint them for you.” 

“Can I tell you a secret?” Buck whispers dramatically.

“You can tell me anything.”

“I love Eddie so much it’s starting to hurt.” He pauses. “Do you think he’ll like my nails?”

Athena smiles. “He’ll love your nails. Maybe you should end the hurt and ask him out?”

“He’d never say yes to me.” He sighs miserably. “But, hey, let’s not focus on my breaking heart. Let’s focus on happy things because my nails already look good.”

Athena’s about to respond when her phone cuts her off. “May’s Facetiming. Probably to ask where her nail polish is.” She laughs. 

“Answer, answer, I wanna tell her she has amazing taste in nail polish.”

“You’re a child, Evan Buckley.” She rolls her eyes but answers the phone. “Hey, May.”

“Where did all the nail polish go?” The tinny voice has Buck laughing. “Is that Buck?”

“Hi, May! I’m holding your nail polish hostage, is that okay?”

He sees May laugh. ���Normally when someone is held hostage, it’s not usually okay with the other person. But, yes, it’s fine.”

Buck holds up his right hand, which is completely done. “Look how pretty.”

“I see you used my sky blue Essie.” She grins, holding up her own hand with the exact shade. 

“I wore that shade when I was ten!” He giggles. “I was so happy to find it in here. You should paint my nails, too, one day!” 

May giggles. “I’ll be there. I gotta study, bye Buck, love you mom.”

Buck wakes up the next morning to his alarm. The night before rushes back to his mind and he looks at his newly painted nails. He loves them, but now sober, he hears Logan and his dad. He can hear Eddie saying something bad, even though if Buck were being rational, he knows he never would. 

He notices a note on his bedside table, a glass of water and two Advil next to it.

Remember what you said. Do what makes you happy. - Athena.

He hates that Athena knows him so well, but he holds the note to his chest and counts to ten before getting up to shower. 

The drive to the station is silent. He looks down at his nails every so often and holds onto the feeling of not caring. He gets to the station and smiles at Hen as he walks to the locker room. He changes, grabs a cup of coffee and sits down at the counter before anyone notices his nails. 

“I like the colors.” Bobby grins. Buck lets out a huge sigh of relief. 

“Me too.” 

“You painted your nails?” Hen raises an eyebrow.

“Yeah.” He clears his throat. “Actually, Athena did.”

Clash. 

They all turn towards Eddie, who dropped his mug filled with hot coffee, as he stares at Buck’s nails. 

“What? Can’t a guy paint his nails?” Buck’s entire face is red under the stare of his best friend. 

“I- I- uh- you- I love your nails.” He's stumbling with his words and Buck is as big of a mess as he is so he refuses to talk. He smiles and grabs a broom, starting to sweep up the broken glass as Eddie continues to stare. 

“Eddie, take a picture, it’ll last longer.” Chimney snorts. 

Eddie doesn’t have a chance to quip back before the bell rings. A pileup on the 405, two major injuries, no fatalities. People really need to learn how to drive.

When they arrive at the scene, Buck follows Eddie to the first car to check on the driver.

“Sir, I’m Buck and this is Eddie, we’re here to get you out.” He starts. “What’s your name, sir?”

The man is about to reply before his eyes land on Buck’s nails and suddenly he feels self conscious. 

“Only pansies and girls paint their nails. Go help someone el-”

Eddie cuts in. “Who says nail polish is only for girls, huh? Is there a rule book somewhere that says it in writing?”

It makes you happy, don’t let them ruin it for you. There doesn’t have to be a reason to be happy because your nails are painted. I am happy. 

Athena’s voice repeats in his head as Bobby walks up.

“Is there a problem?” He has the jaws of life in his hand, so Buck figures Eddie must have asked for it when Buck spaced out. 

“No, sir.” The asshole answers. 

“Good.”

No one else bothers Buck about his nails after that. It’s been a week and Eddie is acting weird around Buck, ten times more clumsy than usual. May says it’s because he’s so flustered around him that he’s acting this way. Buck calls bullshit. 

“What’s Eddie’s favorite color?” 

“Red.” He answers before May can really finish the question. She rolls her eyes but takes out the red nail polish. “May, I’m gonna match the firetruck.” 

He can hear Bobby laugh from the kitchen and sees him peeking out. “I think Eddie would love that.”

May hums in agreement. 

“You know, I’m not painting my nails for Eddie.” 

“You’re not painting your nails, I am.” May laughs when Buck grumbles. “I wasn’t painting my nails for Darius but this red here got me a second date, so trust it.” 

Buck rolls his eyes. “Still mad I didn’t get to give him the shovel talk before Bobby.”

“That would have been one too many shovel talks though. Between mom, dad, and Bobby? He would have walked out for sure if you gave him one.” 

Buck snorts. “If he walked away because of an extra shovel talk then he deserves the shovel talks.” 

“Alright, alright, we’re not talking about Darius and me. We’re talking about you and Eddie.”

“Were we?” 

“Yes.” Bobby, Athena, and May say in unison. 

“That’s funny because there is no me and Eddie.” 

“Whatever you say, lover boy.” May quips as she paints the pinky. “All done.” 

“You staying for dinner, kid?” Bobby asks as Buck stands. 

“Wish I could but Eddie and I are taking Christopher to the skatepark.” He rolls his eyes when he receives identical looks from Athena and May. “Has anyone ever told you how creepy it is how much you look alike?” 

“Every day.” 

Buck can’t really point out why he felt so nervous driving to Eddie’s house. Eddie had no issue with Buck wanting to paint his nails, he wasn’t mad, he was just...acting weird.

So why does today feel life changing? He’s hanging out with Eddie and Christopher like he does every weekend. There should be nothing different in the way he feels but there is and Buck can’t tell if it’s his anxiety or something is going to happen.

He knocks on the door when he gets there. He never usually knocks but somehow this time, it seemed appropriate to knock instead of walking in. 

“Since when do you knock?” Eddie asks in lieu of his normal greeting. 

Buck only shrugs in response. “You guys ready?”

“Not quite. Chris still needs to finish his homework.” 

They’re walking into the kitchen when Buck spots a lot of dark blue stains on a dish towel. He looks over and sees the nail polish and Buck can’t seem to function. He just looks back and forth between Eddie and the nail polish. 

Eddie looks sheepish. “Uh, yeah, I tried to paint my nails. Not as easy as Shannon made it look.”

Buck doesn’t answer. He feels like he lost all ability to function. 

“Buck? Did I break y-” Buck’s lips are on Eddie’s before he gets the chance to finish his sentence. Eddie is kissing back, cups Buck’s jaw in his hands and Buck mirrors his movements. His heart is beating out of his chest, he can’t believe this is happening, thinks maybe it’s an amazing dream and he’ll wake up and be ten years old again but he prays to stay in this dream as long as possible. 

They break apart for air. 

“Wow.” Eddie breathes. “If I knew painting my nails would have gotten you to kiss me like that, I would have done it way sooner.” 

Buck feels like he’s about to choke on his own spit. “I- you- what?” 

“I you what?” Eddie smirks. “By the way, love the red.”

“I guess May was right then.” Buck sighs. “Since we’ve got time, maybe painting someone else’s nails is easier than painting your own?” 

“What was May right about?” 

“That the red would get me a date?” He smiles innocently.

“Funny. She said the same thing when I borrowed the blue from her.” Eddie laughs and the two look at each before laughing, realizing May set them up. “She gave me the shovel talk, you know.”

“That girl is a carbon copy of her mother, I swear.” Buck laughs. “So how about that date?”

“I’ll pick you up Friday at eight.” 

“Don’t be late.” Buck winks.

“Are you talking to yourself?” 

“Rude!”