#The text placement is a bit too crowded but what am I gonna do?

[roadbread]

A scene from the halloween special. For context, Kenny unwillingly works as a protégé for a Hero, as is under contract to respond to any calls his 'boss' tells him to and he was supposed to be off-duty on this particular night. He did go back and help take care of the situation, but he really didn't want to

This year, for our masks game, I offered my players the chance to GM (because I couldn't think up a Halloween special plot/ one-off). I got to reprise my role of Kenny (an alternate version, of course) and I had a blast.

I drew everybody in their Halloween costumes and made special tokens for us on roll20. I hope the gm had a good time. I may end up drawing scenes from the game... we'll see.

[loverontheleft]

Ready to Leap (Chapter 14)

AU with B as a band teacher and reader as an English teacher. Fluff and smut. Chapters 1-13 can be found on my Masterlist.

Brendon x reader. Warnings: language, sexual references, some triggerish abuse stuff at the end.

Word count: 2.7k

-||-

Still a little sore but feeling much better, you slip out of his bed and make your way downstairs to make him breakfast. You’ve stolen one of his tees and are dancing to your “Good Mood” playlist as you scramble the eggs when he comes downstairs silently, watching you from the doorway.

He sneaks up behind you and puts his hands on your hips and you yelp. He laughs and grinds against you playfully and sings in your ear, “you know I love it when the music's loud, but c'mon, strip that down for me, baby. Now there's a lot of people in the crowd, but only you can dance with me, so put your hands on my body and swing that round for me, baby.”

You giggle, setting the pan back on the stove and grab his neck, working back against him before gyrating down the length of his body, hand trailing down his chest. “Jesus Milton,” he laughs when you roll back up, flipping your hair and pressing into him. “You’re just full of surprises, aren��t you?”

You grin back at him. “You’re one to talk. You know all the words to Strip That Down?”

He shrugs. “I know music.” He leans past you to turn off the stove and you twist to grab a plate for the eggs. “You didn’t have to make breakfast,” he remarks and you turn to kiss him.

“You took such good care of me last night, it’s the least I could do.”

He shakes his head, lifting you onto the counter and feeding you a bite of egg. “You keep talking like I did you some favor. You’re my girlfriend and I love you. Taking care of you is basically the bare minimum.”

You smile, wrap your legs around him, and pull him in for a kiss. “Disclaimer,” you whisper, “I think my pussy is still sore from last night, so I’m gonna take a rain check on morning sex.”

He laughs, tugging your hair lightly. “No worries, honey. Hell, it’s early enough that we can go back to bed and just cuddle for a bit before we have to get up.”

You nod, hopping off the counter. “Yeah, that. Let’s do that.” He puts the plate in the sink and sweeps you off your feet to carry you upstairs and back to his bed. You’re curled against him and the hand that isn’t holding you to him tightly is running through your hair, gently scratching your scalp, and you’re working hard at not falling back asleep.

“We gotta talk to Frank today,” he mumbles, burying his face in your hair and you nod slowly. “It’s gonna be okay. He’s just gonna be happy we came to him and he’s not finding out from a parent or something. I promise.”

You sigh, turning in his arms and breathing in the scent of his skin. “I’m just scared it’s not gonna be our thing anymore. It’s gonna be everyone’s. They’re all gonna have so many feelings and opinions.”

“Hey.” He cups your chin and brings your lips to his. “It’s always going to be our thing. It’s always gonna be just us, just the two of us. Yeah, they’ll have feelings and opinions, but they don’t get a vote. What they think doesn’t matter. All I care about is you and what you think.”

You blink back tears and snuggle closer. “Thank you. I love you.”

He presses his lips to the top of your head. “I love you too.” You both fall silent, clinging to each other, savoring the moment. His voice breaks the silence regretfully. “You ready to get up?”

“Not really,” you say with a laugh and you reluctantly scoot back and stand up. “But skipping isn’t a choice so…” you shrug, and hold out your hand to him. He takes it and crawls out of bed after you, joining you in the closet to get dressed.

The car drive is a comfortable quiet, his hand protectively on your thigh, your fingers curved over his. He looks over at you as he parks. “If we talk to him before lunch, we can probably go out for lunch together.” He meets your eyes. “If you want to get lunch together.”

You squeeze his hand. “I want to get lunch. Let’s talk to him as soon as we can.” He squeezes back and nods. As he opens your door and takes your hand, you relax. This is going to be fine. Everything with him just feels right and now you won’t have to hide it. You’re leaving the band room hand in hand and you can feel yourself shaking. “I’m really not nervous,” you promise him. “I’m just...I haven’t been openly in a relationship since...and I know I’m just in my head and I’m fine, we’re fine, it’s fine, I swear but -“

He stops, pulling you against him. “You don’t need to explain anything. We don’t need to talk to him today if you want to wait. I’m not going anywhere.”

You shake your head, taking a deep breath. “No, I’m tired of hiding how I feel. We’ll tell him.” He kisses you softly and you melt into his arms, whimpering slightly when he pulls your hips flush to his.

There’s a clearing of a throat and you both jerk apart, eyes wide. “Why do I have a feeling I’m the ‘him’ in this situation?” Your principal looks amused and you curse under your breath.

“Well.” Brendon shifts slightly and you pull back from his embrace, embarrassed. He turns you so you’re tucked into him, his arm around your waist. “Your feeling is accurate and you can probably guess what we have to tell you.”

Frank’s eyes shift between the two of you for a moment, clearly considering. “Well, as long as this isn’t interrupting your job or affecting your productivity, I’m fine with it. Do your students know?”

The two of you exchange glances and shrug. Brendon answers for both of you. “They claim to suspect and think we should be if we’re not.”

Frank looks pleased. “Well, they’re intuitive. Here’s hoping their test scores show this too.” He grins at the two of you and punches Brendon lightly on the shoulder. “Take care of her. She’s a real asset to the English department.” He points at you. “And don’t you lose me my 6th state placement.” You both nod and he smiles. “Now go be productive in your respective rooms.”

“I’m just gonna walk her to her room,” Brendon clarifies, taking your hand and Frank nods. The two of you set off and he squeezes your hand tightly. Once you round the door frame into your room, you both let out a sigh of relief. He lifts you up onto the desk closest to the door, resting his forehead against yours. “Well, not how I planned to tell him, but I can’t complain about the outcome.” You nod, agreeing. “All in all, I’m counting it as a win.”

You kiss him, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him in roughly. “I’m sorry I doubted that telling him was the right choice. You were right. I feel a lot better already.” He smiles, running a finger down your cheek.

“You don’t need to apologize, honey. What are you working on today and what time do you want to go to lunch?”

You think for a moment, reviewing your mental checklist. “I have to redo the Macbeth anticipation escape room folders, make copies of Act 1, check my notes for Act 1, and file their papers on their sonnets. I can do lunch whenever. You?”

“Mostly music appreciation stuff. It’ll be a lot of notes and writing responses. Why don’t you come down here once you’ve finished what you want to get done before lunch and I’ll be ready to go whenever?”

“Sounds good. Is it dumb to say I’m going to miss you?” You look up at him wistfully and he looks at you with soft eyes, kissing you lightly.

“Not dumb at all, honey. I’m going to miss you. Come find me when you’re ready.” He cups your face affectionately and kisses you one last time before walking backwards out the door, eyes on you.

You are sure to work efficiently; your principal said over the intercom that if you felt good about your progress for the day, you could leave at 1pm, and Brendon texted you the name of a Chinese restaurant downtown and the two thoughts have warped into eating Chinese food naked in bed together in the middle of the afternoon. It’s fairly tame as far as your fantasies tend to go, but still very appealing. You’ve sent this thought to him and receive a thumbs up and a heart eyes emoji, so you’re pretty sure he’s working just as quickly to be in your bed.

You save your notes on Macbeth and put the finished folders to one side, standing and straightening your skirt. Time to go fetch your boyfriend. As you’re leaving, Gina calls out, asking if you want to get lunch with her. You make your apologies and promise to explain later as you head to the arts hall. His door is hanging open and you creep in, sneaking up on him. He turns before you can scare him and you both fall apart laughing when you jump in surprise.

“That was adorable,” he gasps, bent double, forearms on his knees. You try to catch your breath and end up sitting down on the floor, wiping at your eyes. He sits down next to you, arm slung over your shoulders. “God, I love you.”

You murmur it back to him, cocking your head to catch the strain of music. “What are you listening to?”

He stands, pulling you to your feet. “Adele. This week is Modern Masters, and she’s certainly a master of her voice.” You step into his embrace, the soft guitar soothing your senses. He gathers you in his arms, dipping his head down to your ear. “Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am home again.”

You take the next line, swaying against him. “Whenever I’m alone with you, you make me feel like I am whole again.”

His eyes are heavy lidded and he is holding you so tightly; you’re dizzy with want. The music plays in the background and you focus on his eyes as he sings softly to you. “However far away, I will always love you. However long I stay, I will always love you.” He pauses, kissing your forehead. “We need to go get lunch and get in your bed.” You nod a little breathlessly and he takes your hand, turning the music off with a remote he lifts off the floor.

The two of you pick up the food and rush back to your apartment, laughing as you strip down to nothing and pile into your bed, opening boxes of takeout. He feeds you bites of sesame chicken and you pass him delicate scoops of fried rice until you’re both full and slumped against the pillows, your head on his chest and his arms around you.

“Bren?” You look up at him cautiously. “Can I ask you a rude question?” He nods, stroking your arm. “And you can tell me to fuck off if you want. But, I’ve been wondering. And since the hot tub, I have to ask - how do you live like you do? How do you afford it?”

He laughs awkwardly, closing his eyes. “My parents owned a vineyard in Napa. They were pretty successful. They died when I was in college, in a freak accident. They were always worried about me being a teacher; didn’t think I’d make any money. When they died, turns out they left the vineyard to me, despite me not wanting to go into wine, as well as a good sum of money. I couldn’t stay, I just couldn’t be there without them. My best friend who has a business degree does day to day operations and I just work mainly to make sure my parents’ legacy, as it were, is preserved. I try to make the decisions they’d make and just make them proud. Any income from that goes to a food bank in their name; I took the money they left and set myself up to live comfortably doing what I love and put aside the rest of it for the future.” You squeeze his hand, eyes brimming with tears.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.” Your voice is thick with regret and he shakes his head, kissing you.

“It’s okay, honey. It would have come up eventually. And it’s been 8 years, so.” His lips tighten and you hug him tightly. “I’m glad I told you though. I think you’re the only one here who knows. And you deserve to know. I just wish they could have met you. That was their other fear. They knew my personality; I throw myself into my work. They didn’t think I’d meet anyone worth sharing my life with. I hope they can see I’m good, I’m happy. Fuck, I’m just so happy with you.” He’s tearing up and you choke back a sob of your own. “I really do love you so much,” he whispers and you nod.

“I love you too. I hope our parents have met up there. I know my mom and dad would love you. Just because you love me, they’d love you.” You swipe at your tears, sniffling. He runs a hand over your hair, pulling you into his lap so you’re facing him. You kiss him hard and he clutches you to him. One of his hands moves to your head, deepening the kiss and you moan into mouth.

The embrace lasts for a minute before you both pull away. He grins sheepishly, brushing a finger over your lips. “I feel weird doing…” he pauses, gesturing between your bodies, “this, after talking about our parents.”

You laugh, nodding. “Yeah, my dad might not love this part of our relationship.” He groans, burying his face in your neck and offering an apology to your father. “I kinda just want to cuddle and take a nap,” you admit, closing your eyes.

“We can do that, honey.” He scoots down so he’s on his back and you’re curled over him. “Go to sleep darlin, I’m right behind you,” he says with a yawn, running a hand over your back in soft circles.

The rapid knocking on your door jolts you both awake hours later and you look around blearily. “Should I get that?” You wipe at your eyes and he nods, equally drowsy.

“Sounds urgent.”

You roll off of him and scoop his shirt off the shrugging into it. In hindsight, not your best move. You wriggle into a pair of shorts you’ve left on the floor and head for the door.

“Hell-“ you freeze and he smiles.

“Hey Y/n.” His eyes scan over you, taking in your messy hair, smudged makeup, the man’s dress shirt and wrinkled shorts and his jaw tightens and his eyes go cold.

You slam the door just as Brendon comes up behind you. “No no no no no,” you gasp, eyes wide. Brendon is in his dress pants and nothing else, and you’re guessing he rushed after you because they’re unzipped and unbuttoned just like the other morning.

“Y/n, who the fuck was that?” His voice on the other side of the door is sharp. He’s banging on your door and Brendon kneels silently beside you, worry shining in his eyes. “Y/n, open the fucking door.” He’s yelling now and you’re rocking on the floor.

“No, no no no no. Please no.” You’re almost wailing now, clutching at Brendon frantically, eyes wild. You’re trapped. The room is closing in and you’re trapped and you can’t breathe and how did he even find you?

“Open the fucking door, I swear to god.” He’s not yelling anymore and that might be worse. “Y/n, don’t make me do something you’ll regret.”

[5hfanfiction]

Wicked Games (Chapter 19)

“I’m selfish. I want you all to myself, I swear, you don’t need nobody else.” - PnB Rock

A small, faint buzzing woke me from my nap. I sat up, wiping my eyes and then rolled over to grab my phone off the nightstand.

Dinah: 21st birthday party for Missy tonight at our place! 8 oclock!

I sighed deeply at that text. I had totally forgotten it was Missy’s birthday. Should I really go to that? A part of me wanted to so I could try to talk to Lauren, but a part of me didn’t want to so I could keep away from Lauren, her drama, and all of the feelings she stirs up inside of me.

The girl had done her typical ignoring act during practice and once practice was over she was out of the locker room quick as lightning, probably to avoid me. I tried to text her afterwards, but didn’t get a response. I looked hopefully at my phone one more time to see if she had responded and.. nothing.

I peeked over at the clock. It was almost seven-thirty. For the past week, this is typically when Lauren would be here. Her beautiful body on full display for me. Not tonight I guess.

I couldn’t help myself. I got on snap chat and sure enough, Lauren had added a picture to her story. I opened it up and gulped. It was an astoundingly intimidating photo of her in full makeup. I couldn’t stop staring at her green eyes. All I could think about was her being here with me this past week, how I made her body mine, how those eyes looked at me with such passion. I turned off my phone and stood up. I had to go. I had to see her. I had to get her to come home with me tonight.

I got dressed in my best outfit and put on makeup as quickly as I could. I left my house about twenty minutes after eight o'clock and got to their place about ten minutes later. Once inside, I realized the party wasn’t just women’s basketball. The men’s team was there too, along with some people from a few other sports, and some other people I didn’t really recognize. It was a little more crowded than I was expecting. I was met with greetings from my teammates and I went to each one and gave them a hug. I stopped and chatted with the birthday girl for a few moments as well. I still didn’t see Lauren yet, but whilst looking around I found a different brunette. Keana was there.

We made eye contact and she lifted her cup at me in greeting. I walked over to her.

“Hey,” I grinned.

“Hi gorgeous,” she complimented. “Guess you decided to come out and have a little fun?”

“Sometimes I can have fun,” I mentioned unconvincingly.

“Really? I would have never guessed. You’re always so tense.. well, the two times I’ve seen you, you’re tense.”

“Am I tense now?” I implored.

She took a sip from her cup and gave me the once over. “I don’t know.. I’m not sure.”

I laughed, slightly unnerved by the look she gave me, “I’ll take that.”

That is when Dinah came up to me with an overly aggressive hug.

“Woah.. hey buddy,” I chuckled, nearly falling backwards. The party had only just started, but Dinah was already intoxicated. They must have pregamed.

Dinah was begging me to come with her to play beer pong and she just wasn’t taking no for an answer, so I politely excused myself from Keana and went back to the kitchen. “We got next!” Dinah shouted as we entered the room.

That is where I found Lauren. She was standing next to a guy on the men’s team named Matt. He was of average height, slightly taller than her, with a toned build. He had short light blonde hair and bright blue eyes. I hated to admit it, but he was pretty attractive. They were partnered up on one side of the beer pong table and Ally and Normani were partnered on the other side. Micah and Missy were also in the kitchen along with a couple other guys on the basketball team.

I almost started laughing because it wasn’t looking good for Mani and Ally. They still had seven cups left and Lauren and Matt were on their last two cups. “Guys… you gotta pick it up! Come on now,” I chided to Mani and Ally. Ally threw her hands in the air and screamed “Mila!” as she ran and practically tackled me in a hug. “Man, everyone’s acting like they didn’t just see me this morning.” Normani, clearly the only one here not completely intoxicated, shook her head and gave me a side hug, “even Lebron has off nights,” she tried to justify her poor beer pong performance.

“Who said you’re Lebron? You’re more like JR Smith,” I teased which earned an arm punch from her because JR is her least favorite player on the Cavs. I threw my hands up, pleading innocence, “kidding, kidding.”

Reluctantly I finally turned to the other side of the table. Matt waved in greeting and said, “Hi, Camila.” To which I responded with only a fake smile. Lauren didn’t even acknowledge me and instead complained, “Can we get the game started again?”

I crossed my arms and shook my head. Guess it’s gonna be one of those nights again. Although she wasn’t looking at me, I certainly was looking at her. She was wearing a black and white striped two-piece jumpsuit that was definitely hugging her figure in all of the right places. She wore her hair straight, with it all tucked on one side of her shoulder currently, so the soft skin on her other shoulder was exposed. She was looking elegant, but sexy as hell. I eventually tore my eyes from her and sauntered over to the kitchen counter to fix myself a drink while I waited. I’d only just started pouring the Bacardi into my cup when I heard Lauren and Matt cheering behind me. I turned, raising my eyebrow to find the game was over and Matt and Lauren had completely blown Mani and Ally out. Mani and Ally were each chugging their loser cups while Lauren and Matt were hugging. I did not like his hand placement one bit. It was on the small of her back just barely above her ass. I was already getting irritated. I downed the little bit of Bacardi in my cup, as Dinah called me over.

“Lets do this Mila! We gotta put a stop to their winning streak!” she slurred.

“Yeah, seriously,” Mani groaned after she finished her drink and wiped her mouth. “They’ve won the past four games.”

I looked up to find Matt whispering something in Lauren’s ear. Whatever he said, Lauren was smiling and nodding. Aggravation bottled up and caused me to blurt out, “hey!” I made myself jump I said it so loud. Both of their heads snapped to look at me. Trying to play it cool, I lowered my pitch and asked, “You two ready to start?”

Finally the two of them separated. I was determined to win. Whatever this was going on with them two, it needed to stop. I peeked at Lauren as Dinah rolled the ping pong balls across the table to Matt. Lauren had been looking at me. I stiffened up and when Lauren realized she had been caught she smirked. Smirked! What the hell is that? She looked away because Matt was handing her a ball.

I shook my head, I wasn’t going to let her distract me anymore.

We got started and Matt took the first shot, which he sank. Dinah groaned in response. I watched Lauren intently as she leaned forward making her top raise up a little and expose some skin of her stomach. Her eyebrows creased and she bit her lip in concentration. Gosh, she looked so cu- wait, no I wasn’t letting her distract me. Instead, I decided to focus on the cups. I watched as a ball suddenly fell into one of the cups in the back row.

I frowned and Dinah groaned once again, much louder and much more obnoxiously this time. ‘Damn they’re good.’ The sounds of irritation from Dinah were accompanied by cheers from Matt and Lauren to my dismay.

I picked the balls out of the cups, and moved them to the side. Once again, I avoided Lauren’s gaze at all costs. I already knew those eyes of hers would make me miss completely. I focused on the cups on the right side of the pyramid and took my shot. The ball bounced on one cup then fell into the cup directly behind it. It was my turn to smirk.

Dinah instantly yelled, “That’s two cups, baby!”

I shook my head at her volume, but watched as she took her shot. She airballed completely. She pouted deeply, then turned to me and shrugged. I laughed and patted her shoulder, “You’re just warmin’ up,” although I expected nothing less from her the rest of the game.

The next round Matt missed, but Lauren sank another cup. In response, I made a cup in the corner and Dinah miraculously happened to make the same cup so we got balls back. Unfortunately, we both missed on our second chance.

The game went back and forth until we each had only two cups left. The partygoers around us were cheering me and Dinah along since we were the overwhelming underdogs in this game. Although it was just a simple party game, for some reason I felt there was more at stake. Maybe it was sad, but I wanted to prove to Lauren that I was better than this Matt guy. I knew a stupid beer pong game is not going to determine whether or not Matt is better than me, but I really did not like how flirtatious they were being with eachother so I did not want him to beat me in any way.

My heart was starting to beat pretty fast when I picked up the ping pong ball. I was feeling some pressure. Except for the one shot she made, Dinah had been relatively useless throughout the game because she was too drunk to see the cups properly, so it had pretty much all been up to me. I really wanted to beat Matt and Lauren and put an end to whatever was going on with them.

I was starting to focus really hard on one of the cups when I noticed Lauren out of my periphery. I had done a great job of avoiding looking at her despite multiple attempts by her to distract me, but this time I failed to ignore her. She leaned over the table right behind the cup I was looking at, her shirt hung loosely enough for me to get a great view of her cleavage. My jaw tightened as the cup blurred away from my focus and instead her boobs perched above a push-up bra became my entire field of vision. Almost immediately, my thoughts went to a dirty place, reliving memories of that part of her body pressed up against me. After a few seconds of staring I came to and looked up to meet her eyes for the first time since the game started. That typical arrogant smirk of hers was back. She knew exactly what she was doing. “Are you going to take your shot, Camz?” Lauren teased suggestively.

I blinked in embarassment and threw the ball. It airballed, landing just in front of Lauren’s chest. 'Wow, I really could not have made it more obvious’ I chastised myself internally. The stupid grin on Lauren’s face as she stood back up was enough to have me teetering on the brink of rage. Dinah shot and missed, of course. Now I was starting to sweat, my composure slipping away.

It only got worse when Matt got his cup. Lauren exclaimed, “Yes!” wrapping her arm around him. I could only watch in horror as the two of them smiled at each other, their faces inches apart. Luckily that did not last long. Lauren leaned back, removing her arm from him. Her face constricted again with concentration as she stared at the lonely cup infront of us. I crossed my fingers behind my back, desperately hoping she would miss.

I was sorely disappointed. I heard a clunk as the ball landed inside of the cup. Although the rest of the party groaned like Dinah, Matt started jumping up and down, screaming “Yes!” over and over again. I didn’t know why he was so excited, but I also felt pretty stupid for how lousy I was feeling about losing a dumb party game. Unfortunately for me, there is no redemption shot in this household. I gladly took the assortment of beers inside of the losers’ cup and downed that sucker quickly. The taste was horrendous and my face cringed as soon as I finished the cup, but at least I started feeling a buzz pretty soon afterwards.

Ally called us all into the living room because Missy was about to blow out the candles of her cake. From then on, I did my best to refocus on the true purpose of this party and be a good friend for Missy. We all sang happy birthday for her and cheered her on as she got to take some of her first legal drinks. I enjoyed myself a big fat piece of cake and sat on the couch amongst my friends.

I was joking around with Ally and Micah when I saw it. Across the room was Lauren, seated next to Matt. They were sitting close, too close. My laugh automatically stopped. Both of them had drinks in their hands and even punched them together as if they were cheering something. Then it happened. Matt leaned forward and placed his lips on hers.

Within an instant, my blood was boiling and my fists were clenched so hard, my knuckles turned white and my nails were drawing blood in my palms. I am jealous. Probably more jealous than I have ever been in my entire life. What was even more infuriating was that I didn’t even have a right to be angry. Lauren and I aren’t in an exclusive relationship and we never were going to be, but still, I was furious. Unable to tear my eyes away from what was happening across the room, I saw Matt’s hand begin to wander up her thigh and I felt like I was about to break my teeth I was clenching my jaw so hard. The worst part was that she was reciprocating.

“Mila? Are you ok?” I vaguely heard coming from the direction of Ally and Micah.

“Fine,” I spat out.

I had felt jealousy before with Emma, but I never felt it on this level. With Emma I was never concerned because I felt secure in our relationship. There was no security in my relationship with Lauren, or whatever the hell we are. I felt completely threatened by Matt. He could mess everything up between us. What if Lauren no longer wanted me? What if I lost my opportunity to make her fall for me forever? What if she would stop making late night trips to see me? 'God, I’m being selfish.’ I thought to myself. In all reality, would I even want to have sex with her if she was messing around with Matt at the same time? For a sad moment, I considered what that may be like. What have I become? Where my sexual desires are more important than my sanity and my dignity. But if I was being truly frank with myself.. it was never just about sex with Lauren.

I was about to look away and try to move on with my night, but Lauren pulled away from Matt slightly. However, Matt traveled to her neck, continuing his invasion of my woman. Lauren’s piercing green eyes looked straight at me. My mouth fell open slightly at her nerve. Her lips were curled up into a tight smile. It was as if she was challenging me, daring me to stop her.

That was the straw that broke me. I painfully ripped my eyes from her and abruptly rose from my seat. I charged back to the kitchen, shoving one of the freshman on our team aside so I could pick up a beer bottle out of the pack. I popped the top off and started chugging it. I got about half way down before I got a better idea.

I made my way through the party crowd, keeping my eyes peeled for what I was looking for. I found her standing with a couple of guys on the basketball team a few feet away from where Lauren and Matt were getting cozy.

I sauntered straight past Lauren, not even giving her a glance, and stepped up to Keana. “That offer still stand?” I questioned her, not caring about whatever conversation she had been having with those guys who were clearly drooling over her.

She looked me up and down, an eyebrow slightly raised in surprise, but her lips turned upwards in pleasure. “For you? Absolutely.”

I took a big swig of the beer, grimacing as I struggled to handle the violent taste inside the bottle. I nodded towards the hall, “Then let’s go then.”

Feeling especially petty, I took Keana into Lauren’s room. It wasn’t until I shut the door that I started second guessing what I was doing.

While I was trying to consider what my next move would be, I heard Keana pipe up behind me, “You sure Lauren won’t mind?”

The mere mention of Lauren stirred something inside of me. I turned to face her and responded harshly, “I don’t care and since when do you?”

“Woah, what do you mean by that?” she looked at me with her eyebrows knitted.

Immediately I softened, already feeling guilty for taking out my emotions about Lauren on her. “Nothing, sorry.”

We made eye contact and my pulse quickened. She raised an eyebrow, looking at me with anticipation. I took one more sip of liquid courage and then set the bottle down on Lauren’s nightstand. Leaning forward, I had just barely grazed Keana’s lips before she lightly pushed me backwards.

“You know, what I meant by distraction didn’t have to be sex,” Keana commented carefully.

I sighed with relief. It was like she read my mind. I didn’t really want to do this. I didn’t really know what I was doing to be honest. Seeing Lauren being with somebody else made me snap. Although I barely even kissed Keana, I already felt ashamed by my actions. It felt so high school. I never would have pictured myself acting this way, but Lauren makes me feel things in such a raw way that I almost lose all self-control with her around.

“..If you need to talk.. we can just talk..” Keana’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I nodded, taking a seat on Lauren’s bed with dejection. Keana sat down next to me. I could not believe that this model status girl even wanted to have sex with me in the first place, but now I was even more taken aback by how gentle and kind she was being. She seemed to pick up on exactly how apprehensive I was and she was not forcing me to do anything.

We both just rested there for a few moments in silence. I honestly didn’t know where to begin. I also didn’t know how much Keana knew about me and Lauren. Apparently she knew enough.

“Is this about Lauren?” Keana suddenly spoke. It had been so quiet aside from the distant noises from the party that it almost shocked me. I nodded in confession.

“Look, Lauren’s my friend, but sometimes she doesn’t know a good thing when she’s got it.”

I tweaked an eyebrow upwards, speaking for the first time in minutes. “Ha.. funny, I was thinking that about myself.”

“What do you mean?”

I sighed. “I have a girl back home.. I have a lot of history with her.. Not to sound cocky, but I could probably make her mine right now if I wanted to.” I was worried I was saying too much to this relative stranger, but to my surprise, Keana was listening intently.

“Well, I guess that’s the thing,” she murmured.

“What?” I was curious to see what this outsider had to say about my situation.

“If you wanted to, she would be yours right now.. so I guess deep down that’s not what you really want.”

I stared at her, speechless. Was it really that simple? Had this girl I barely met figured me out before I could? That’s not the truth though.. right?

“What if I do really want her, but I’m too scared to give her another opportunity to hurt me?” I wondered out loud.

“Looks to me like you’re giving Lauren an opportunity to hurt you.”

Well, shit. I turned and made eye contact with Keana. There is more to this girl than meets the eye. I see now why Lauren took a liking to her. She is smart and intuitive. I reached over to grab my bottle and took a big swig. “I misjudged you.”

Her eyes softened and a light laugh escaped her lips. “Let me guess, did you think I was a whore?” she asked with a wide grin.

I smiled with guilt at her and nodded slightly.

“Well I am,” she chuckled. “I’d have my way with you right now if you really wanted it, but I’m not stupid. I can see it’s not me you want.”

“Am I that obvious?” I inquired.

Keana shrugged. “No.. you weren’t to me until I saw the way you were looking at her while she was kissing Matt. You looked so sad.”

I looked down, reminded of that horrible moment. I took a deep breath. I couldn’t believe it, but my gut was telling me to tell her something I hadn’t told anybody. She just seemed so understanding and trustworthy to me in this moment that I couldn’t seem to stop the words before they were forming. It also didn’t help that I was pretty close to drunk.

“I’m falling for her, Keana.”

There. The words were out. I had finally admitted it to not only someone else, but myself as well.

Keana’s comforting voice returned, “I wish I could tell you that I know how she feels, but I really don’t. She keeps most things to herself.”

I nodded, completely understanding. “She definitely does.” All I’ve been doing since I met Lauren is trying to deconstruct those thick walls she has built up. I’ve known her for about three years now and I still feel like I have so much more to learn about her.

I couldn’t believe how wrong I was about Keana. In her words, I guess I was still right, but I only knew her on a superficial level. Now I had seen how much deeper her mind and soul is and I was very thankful I ended up trying to hook up with someone like her. She was a very beautiful girl on the outside, but I could see now that she wasn’t bankrupt on the inside like I had originally thought.

Keana stood up as well and when she did so I pulled her in to a hug. “Thank you,” I genuinely said to her.

“Oh, I’m on that level with you now?” She joked, referencing our conversation from earlier today.

I grinned from ear to ear. “Yes, you are now.”

“Can I at least cop a feel of your ass?” The original Keana I met came out of nowhere. I laughed so hard at that request I probably could have been heard by everyone at the party.

___________________

AN: Back from a long hiatus! Hope you all enjoy :)

[santanalo]

Finntana || Can We Talk?

TAGGING: Santana and Finn

WHEN: Tuesday, April 2nd 2013

WHERE: Outside at Finn’s Aunt’s lake house

NOTES: Finn and Santana smooth things over and she explains her walking out after his announcement

The conversation she’d had with Mercedes had been going through her head for the rest of the day. Maybe she should just talk to Finn. Clear the air and make sure he knew that she wasn’t out to ruin his life. That she didn’t mean to seem rude or uninterested when she’d walked out after his big announcement. In reality, she left so that she didn’t need to admit how much the words he spoke had made her nervous. Santana was sitting outside by herself, staring at the lake as the sun was setting above it. It was then that she figured she should get this talk out of the way. So she quickly sent Finn a text asking him to meet her outside. ‘Hey, can we talk? Promise it won’t get crazy… I’m in the back.’

The talk had gone better than he’d hoped. He knew Kurt was still a little mad at him, and Santana had just walked out. But Finn figured she'd done so because she just didn't care that he was leaving. It hurt a little, but he could understand it. So when he received her text, he was a little surprised that she wanted to talk. It made him nervous, but she'd promised it wouldn't get crazy. So he was choosing to believe that. “K,” he texted back before he headed to the back of the house in search of Santana. He found her sitting on the porch, looking at the lake and sat in the empty seat beside her. “Hi…” he said softly, watching her for a moment before he looked out as well.

Santana played with the sleeve of her sweatshirt for a while as the nerves started to kick in. It would hopefully all be smooth and they could go on with the trip without any problems. “Hey,” she replied easily, turning to look at him with a soft smile on her lips. Santana let them sit in a silence for a minute or so, wanting to simply sit with him without the chaos of everyone else around. Before the silence got awkward, she cleared her throat and finally spoke up. “I just wanted to say that I hope my leaving after what you said wasn’t taken the wrong way. I honestly assumed no one except Mercedes would really notice, and you’d already said what you had to.” She ran her fingers through her hair and put her legs up on the railing in front of them. “I only walked out because it was just kind of a shock to me and I guess I got a little nervous about the whole thing.”

Things still felt really tense between them, and it sucked because a lot of his good memories in high school were with Santana. A lot of his not so great ones were with her too, but the good outweighed the bad. And now they weren't even really friends anymore. So as the silence sat between them, Finn toyed with his fingers wondering why she'd asked him to come talk when she wasn't saying anything. He almost asked but then she started talking. “Oh…” he replied. “I just figured you left because you didn't care that I'm leaving.” He glanced at her and realized what he’d said and held up his hands. “Not in a mean way...just it doesn't really change anything so it didn't matter.”

“Shit,” she whispered. She sat up a little bit, turning in her chair so that she could properly look at Finn. “Of course I care that you’re leaving. I actually care a shit ton that you’re leaving. It scares the crap out of me…” Santana felt like she didn’t really have the right to be worried about him, or to share that she did, so she left to not have to deal with it. Now she wished she had just stayed. “I guess I figured what I think or feel about it doesn’t actually matter, you know?” She crossed her arms over her chest, almost holding herself. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t care. I mean, that’s a huge commitment and a fucking giant decision to make. Guess it just hit me out of nowhere.”

Well it did make him feel better that she cared, but he wasn't sure what to do with the rest. “I don't want you to be worried,” he began. “I know it's kind of scary. My mom cried when I told her what I did, but I only told Quinn I was thinking about enlisting. I didn't want anyone to tell me I shouldn't or try to talk me out of it. It's just that...everybody knows what they want to do or where they wanna go, but not me...I don't have the grades for college. I don't like having to go to school. I...the Air Force is gonna make me stronger and better than I am now. I wanna make a difference in the world.”

Santana chewed on her lip as she listened to Finn explain why he actually enlisted in the first place. She knew he was never the biggest fan of school, but she had kind of assumed he would just go along and attend college anyway. “I think there’s a lot of other ways to make a difference in the world without risking your life.” She brought her knees up to her chest and curled a little to get more comfortable. “But obviously whatever you wanna do, I’ll back you up. It’s not my life, it’s yours. I’m still probably gonna be freaking the fuck out whenever you’re gone, but I guess I won’t hear much about that stuff once we all go our separate ways.” It sucked that he wasn’t really in her life much anymore.

“My dad was in the army, and he was just...my mom always said he really loved it. Plus, I think no matter what you do to make a difference in the world, you’re always risking your life. If you’re a cop or a firefighter or anything like that,” he reasoned, looking out over the water again. Did he want to risk his life? No, but he wasn’t afraid either, he realized. Sometimes, it was overwhelming to think about, but he also felt good about his decision. “You don’t need to worry. I’m gonna be fine. Plus, in a few months, you’re probably not even gonna be thinking about me anymore.” Which was weird to say since he’d always thought they’d be getting married someday. Now he was sure it would be Quinn he was coming home to.

She understood his reasoning for all of it. Especially because of the connection with his dad. She rolled her eyes when he said she didn't need to worry. “You know that shit’s easier said than done. You're, like, one of three people I worry about. If I don't worry then my yearly quota won't be filled,” she joked to take it away from the seriousness of caring about him. Santana looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows. “I'm sure I'll still think about you sometimes. I mean, you don't just forget about people; especially if they're heading to the Air Force.” She hoped that one day it would just be a quick, hope Finn’s okay, thought instead of her usual. But she knew she’d still think about him from time to time. He was her first for most things and that didn't just go away.

“I think you’ll be fine. You’ll be in New York, right? You’ll be living it up.” Finn was happy Santana was getting to go to New York like she wanted. This moment kind of drove home why it was better that they weren’t together anymore. Finn didn’t want to move to New York. There wasn’t anything there for him to do. He didn’t like big cities that were always crowded and loud. He liked his quiet life in Lima. It was just another reason why they didn’t belong together, and looking at her now, he felt the last bit of whatever he was holding onto from their relationship fade away. “Maybe we can write letters or something.”

“I’ll be busting my ass to get top notch grades so I get accepted to a badass law school. I’m not exactly gonna go partying every night.” Though she would definitely still have a social life. She’d never be the girl that focused solely on her studies. “Plus I of course leaned towards New York knowing that it’d be the best city for Mercedes too.” Santana didn’t bother to add in that she no longer had Finn’s placement to worry about. Or else she probably would’ve factored that in before she decided where she’d be going. “Yeah, maybe. Though you’re gonna be either focusing on not getting hurt and then a mix of your mom and Quinn. Your free time, as little as it is, isn’t going to be spent on me.”

“Well, if you really want to get into a good law school, you’re totally gonna. You’re crazy smart,” he said with a grin. He hoped Santana had a great life in New York. She really deserved it. “You’re gonna do really great things.” He cleared his throat when she mentioned his mom and Quinn, and he nodded. He’d given Quinn a promise ring, and he hoped it would one day be an engagement ring. “Yeah, hopefully...this year didn’t end how I thought it would, but I think maybe...it’s ending how it was supposed to. Anyway, I don’t wanna take up all of your time. Thanks for telling me that you didn’t walk out because you didn’t care. That means a lot, Santana.”

Santana smiled when he complimented her. “Thanks. I hope so… At least right now I do. Who knows if I’ll end up changing my mind.” She rolled her eyes at his mention of the year ending how it should. That was something that she didn’t agree with, but she wasn’t going to start a fight right now. “You’re not taking up all of my time. Unless that was just your way of saying I’m taking up all of yours.” She slowly stood up from her chair, arms still crossed as she turned to face Finn again. “I’m glad you’re happy, you know. Like, contrary to popular belief but I don’t actually want you miserable or some shit. I may not be in the best spot right now, but I’m really glad you are.” She offered him a small smile and then started back across the deck towards the door. “You know where to find me if you ever need me.”

She didn’t really give Finn much of a chance to talk. So he didn’t get a chance to reply to her saying she wanted him to be happy. It was probably for the best. He didn’t know if he believed that, but he hoped that it was true. He watched her walk away from him and turned and headed back into the house to find Quinn.