#The red is fountain pen. Gave a really nice effect while I tried to be resourceful with it :> | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

anavoliselenu · 5 years ago

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freedom ch 16

Selena and I walked, her arm threaded through mine, along the brightly lit city streets as the sun set over the tall buildings. It wasn't too cold outside, but the snow was falling lightly, creating the perfect Chicago Christmas season. I could take a picture and put it on a postcard.

The store windows held precious merchandise that they pushed on costumers who didn't have enough money to pay for anything. No wonder this country was in debt.

It wasn't that I hated Christmas, but I hated all the pageantry. It was overwhelming and tedious. Why couldn't we just wake up and have a nice family breakfast while opening a few gifts? Instead, it turned into the season of parties, carolers, expensive obligations, and a fake icon used to guilt kids into being good for the entire year. I hadn't believed in Santa Claus since I was five. It was a ridiculous notion, and I didn't know how parents could let their kids grow up fantasizing about a fat man in a red suit. Selena called me Scrooge. I liked to call it realism.

"Justin, what do you think we should get Alice?" Selena asked, window shopping from afar.

"She likes clothes."

"I know, but we can be more inventive than that."

"Um, expensive clothes."

"I'll think of something."

"Selena, are you done yet? We still have to get home and prepare for the party tomorrow."

"Not yet, Justin. I still have to get something for my mother."

"But we've been out in these streets for five hours already."

"You act like I'm trying to kill you."

"You basically are."

"We get one afternoon away from the babies, and you can't even handle it."

"I'm sorry that I prefer my warm house to this congestion." Yet another person bumped into me on the street. It took all I had not to kill him.

"You just don't like to be happy."

"Three things make me happy. You, Roman, and Sophia. I can live without all of this extra stuff." I held up the bags in my hands.

"We'll go in a second."

Selena and I rounded the corner and saw a Santa ringing a bell, begging for money. Being the charitable woman that she was, Selena pulled out her purse and dropped a rather large wad of cash into his red pale.

I suppressed the groan and words that threatened to erupt from my mouth.

We passed a few vendors selling various things, but I didn't pay any attention to them. This year, I was determined to just go as simple as possible with my gifts. Hell, my brothers were getting fucking pens. That was it. Granted, they were expensive fountain pens that cost more than most people's mortgage payments, but still pens nonetheless.

"What's that?" Selena pointed across the street to a man holding up a sign.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Can we go?"

"Wait." She let go of my arm and ran through the standing traffic.

"Selena!" I shouted after her.

By the time I got to her she was cooing over a small puppy that she had picked up from a box. There were about six and they were hanging on each other, trying to paw their way up the sides.

"Look, Justin. They're so cute." She wrapped one in her fur coat.

"They're for sale," the man said.

"Where is their mother?" Selena asked.

"She died from birth complications," he replied regretfully.

"That's so sad."

"Selena, don't touch those things. You don't know where they've been." I cringed.

"They're purebred German Shepherds. Just eight weeks old."

"Don't even ask me if we can have one." I picked the dog up from Selena's arm and placed him back in the box. "Gross."

"I wasn't going to ask," she said, but her face told me otherwise.

"We can't have another dog, especially not a puppy."

"You act like they have some kind of disease or something. I was just trying to pet them." She wrapped herself up.

"They might. You don't know."

"Fine," she sighed. "I guess we're done. We should go home before it gets too cold."

William was somehow immediately there with the car and got out to hold the door open. Selena ducked inside and instantly began dialing on her phone, probably calling the house about the babies.

"Damn it." I growled and stomped my foot in frustration. "Why does she always do this to me?"

I put the bags into the trunk of the car, and then got in myself. Selena and I didn't talk to each other the entire way home. By the time we pulled into the driveway, it was dark and the lights of our house shined proudly.

Selena had done an exceptional job decorating; the place really did look amazing, inside and out.

Katy Nana was running around trying to tidy up before the party tomorrow, while carters were using the kitchen for their pre-prep. This party was a very big deal with a lot of guests, so Selena wanted to make sure it was perfect. I stayed to myself and let her do it all. I had to sign all the checks, though.

"Mr. Justin, you can't eat that." Carmela took a stuffed mushroom from my hand as I was about to pop it in my mouth.

"Why not? They need to be sampled."

"Mr. Alec has already done that." She put the tray in the fridge.

"Is there anything I can eat?"

"Not at the moment. Dinner won't be ready for another hour or so." Katy Nana shooed me off.

"Fine, I'll be in the basement for my workout if anyone needs me."

I changed and stuffed my ear buds in as I set the treadmill on its highest setting. When I was about halfway through a mile, Francis nudged the door open and hopped up on the machine next to me. I set it on low and he walked with his fat legs. This was our routine for most mornings. I had trained him to get some exercise in at least once a day. By the time three miles were finished, I was exhausted, but kept going.

Selena made her way into the room with a tray of food. She set it down on the table, and I shut off my machine, sweat dripping from my brow.

"I brought you two some food." She sat in one of the chairs. "I figured you might be hungry."

"Well, thank you." I inhaled and exhaled easily.

We didn't speak for a couple of awkward seconds.

"Look, Justin, I didn't mean to snap at you earlier." She played with her hair. "I'm a little on edge, if you haven't noticed."

"Oh, I noticed."

"I'm just trying to make this holiday a memorable one."

"And I'm making it difficult, I know."

"It wouldn't kill you to be a little happier." She came to sit on my lap. "At least for the pictures I expect a smile."

"I will give you anything you want."

"At the party tomorrow, don't kill anyone and try to be on your best behavior."

"Yes, ma'am." I shook my head, flopping sweat all over her from my hair.

"Ew, Justin. Stop it. You're worse than Francis."

My dog was currently panting and lying spread eagle on his stomach on the floor. I hadn't bothered to turn off his machine so he had been on there at least as long as I had.

"I think he's dead." I kicked him lightly. He rolled over with a grunt.

"He's too fat to be doing all that running." Selena left my lap and sat on the floor, rubbing his stomach.

Carmela interrupted the moment and ran into the room. "You have a call, Mr. Justin. It's your father."

I rolled my eyes taking phone from her. "Hello."

"Why hello, son. Your mother and I were just RSVP'ing to your party tomorrow night."

"I don't recall you being on the invitation list," I lied.

He was silent for a second. "We can find something else to do if you'd rather us not attend."

Selena gave me a stern look.

I sighed, "Fine. You can come."

"Thank you. We'll be there."

I hung up before he could say anything else.

"I don't like this," I said to Selena.

"It's going to be one hell of a party. Don't worry."

The next night, I had spent a good hour properly grooming before the party. I tried to stay out of everyone's way because they all seemed to be working so hard. I took my time, styling my hair, and then changed it up again when I didn't like it.

I could hear feet downstairs of servers who were preparing for the night. Katy Nana's voice was loud and demanding as she ordered people around. If I peeked out of the window, I saw the line of valets, all in nicely pressed suits, ready to take cars from the guests. We still had over an hour left, but Selena wasn't leaving anything to chance. These preparations had been going on all day.

I went downstairs for breakfast and lunch, but spent most of my time in the bedroom. That was a rare occurrence. I would usually scoff at the thought of wasting countless hours in bed, although, I did have Roman and Sophia. I laid them out on blankets and just kept them with me all day so that Selena, Katy Nana, Carmela, and Agata could focus on other things. The house was decorated like a winter wonderland, with all sorts of adornments that made it look like we lived on a movie set.

My navy blue suit had been tailored with the final touches just this morning so the fit was perfect.

"Very handsome." Katy Nana came into the bathroom, carrying both babies impressively in her arms.

I took Roman and held him close to me so that we could see each other in the mirror.

"Look at us." I pointed. "You're going to be the spitting image of me. I just know it, and I'm sure the girls will be chasing after you."

Katy Nana shook her head.

"It's all in the eyes. Women love the eyes," I told him. "That's how I got your mother. And my smile. She likes that."

He reached for my hair, effectively messing up my hours of work, but I didn't mind. It was always kind of amazing to me how Selena and I created children. They were the perfect mixture of the both of us with each of our features within them, but I knew as they grew older, they would be completely different people. I was actually kind of proud of my kids just for being them. I was such a fucking pussy.

"Everyone out of the bathroom." Selena came in, tearing her shirt over her head. "We only have half an hour left, and I need the place to myself."

"Selena, you need to calm yourself down," I said.

"I can't. I haven't even picked a dress out yet."

"I have several ready for you." Katy Nana smiled. "They're all hanging up."

"Thank you. You're a lifesaver."

"We shouldn't upset her," I whispered to Roman, and we all left the room.

"Here," Katy Nana handed me Sophia, "I have to go finish the final touches."

I set Roman and Sophia down on my bed so that they could look up at the ceiling. They were very expressive for just being three months old. Maybe all babies were like that, but I was convinced that mine were special. It wouldn't surprise me if they started talking or walking before the normal time.

I lied down with them and entertained them until Selena was done. I heard the shower running for about ten minutes, and then a string of curse words for another half hour. When I asked her if anything was wrong she just told me her hair was a mess and I should leave her alone.

It wasn't long before I heard cars start to pull up in the driveway and guests downstairs.

Selena glided out of the bathroom in a spectacular silver dress. It was floor-length and embellished with shiny fabric that caught the light. I wasn't sure what they were from a distance, but they made her look like she was shimmering. Her wavy dark hair was coerced into a bun at the base of her neck with a few tendrils left to frame her face. One feature that was fairly new was the bright red lip that she wore. I had never seen that before, and it was oddly enticing.

"That is your mother. She's the most beautiful woman in the entire world," I told Sophia, rubbing her stomach.

Selena took the compliment, blushing, and didn't look at me.

"I wasn't lying," I assured her. "Have you seen yourself? You look amazing tonight."

"Thank you." She kissed me.

Sophia started to coo, moving her little feet around and looking up at the ceiling. Selena came to join us on the bed.

"I'm surprised you're the first one dressed tonight," she said, pecking Roman's cheek.

"I took my time for once and didn't freak out. It's a wonder how much calmer I feel now that I'm not worrying about anything. Tonight is going to be a great party."

"I hope so."

There was a knock on our door.

"Come in."

Carmela peaked her head in and smiled impishly. "I was told to come relieve you of baby duty so that you two can enjoy the party."

"Good." I got up from the bed and straightened myself out before pulling Selena up with me. We looked ourselves over, making sure that every aspect of our appearances was perfect.

"Okay, so don't kill anyone tonight and be nice to your parents," Selena warned me.

I rolled my eyes.

I didn't know how on earth we were planning to fit four hundred people in our house, but it was far too many. I didn't even know who all was there, and I couldn't enjoy myself because I was more focused on keeping everyone in check.

No one was allowed on the upper levels. There was security in place to prevent any wandering guests, but even so, I was weary about people getting nosy. On more than one occasion, I saw a few visitors trying to secretively poke their heads into drawers and sneak around corners where they shouldn't. And then there was the touching. Everyone felt the need to put their hands on every single object in my house. I was about to explode.

We had originally planned on having children at the party since Selena wanted it to be more of a family thing, but it I vetoed that quickly and was glad I did. I had more than enough trouble keeping the grownups in line. Everyone who was invited had to bring a gift. Selena had the idea to donate them all to local children's charities, so the house was filled with them.

I tried being social and succeeded for a while, but left most of the talking to Selena. She was quite the social butterfly with a personality that was infectious. The holiday spirit suited her well.

"Justin, why don't you smile more?" Emmett asked me as we played a round of poker with Alec and Jasper at a corner table away from most of the mayhem. At this point, the party had been raging for a couple of hours and everyone was rather tipsy.

"I smile when I want to," I objected. "I don't like you so I don't waste my smile."

"Harsh." Alec folded his cards. "I'm out."

"As usual."

The pot was getting pretty large. I was determined to win, but Jasper and Emmett were better players than me. They had card savvy that I never would. I wasn't losing big bucks, but I still didn't find their jabbing remarks encouraging.

"This is a great party," Jasper said with enthusiasm. "And no drama so far."

"Have you seen Mom and Dad?" Alec asked.

"Not yet, hence why I said so far."

"I might have been a dick to Carlisle on the phone last night. My tone made it perfectly clear that he wasn't welcome in my house."

Alec leaned in. "I shouldn't be telling you this, but he's distancing himself from us."

"Why? What did he say?"

"Mom told me that he's writing a book."

"A book!" I shouted. "On what?"

"On us, the family."

"He can't do that," Jasper protested. "He's bound to give away secrets he shouldn't if he writes one."

"That's what I said." Alec shrugged. "He's still writing it. He doesn't know how to tell you, Justin."

"Because he know I'll shoot him. I won't allow it." I slammed my cards down.

"Can we talk about this later?" Emmett asked. "This is a party, after all."

"I need more booze." I drank the last of the bourbon in my glass.

A server was there instantly to retrieve the empty cup. "Anything else, sir?"

"I'll have a martini this time."

"Of course." He scurried off.

There were Christmas carols playing throughout the house, beautiful lights everywhere, and lots of camaraderie. With the little buzz I had going, the atmosphere was rather enjoyable. After two more rounds of poker, we had been joined by Selena and Rosalie.

"You don't have a very good hand," Selena informed me.

"I'll win. Emmett's bluffing," I whispered to her.

"How do you know?"

"He sucks on his teeth when he's lying; a horrible habit that he's done since we were kids."

Selena and I watched Emmett with inspecting glares. After a minute or two he sucked once on his top tooth and made a strange noise. I smiled, laying down my hand.

He cursed and banged his fist down. "Damn it. I thought I had him."

"We won!" Selena started to collect the money from the center of the table.

"I knew it," I said triumphantly.

"You cheated. Let's play again." Emmett grabbed the cards and began to shuffle.

"Fine. I can go all night."

There was a tap on my shoulder and a low voice in my ear. "Sir, we have a security issue."

"Oh?" I turned my head slightly towards him, trying not to appear concerned.

"A Vienna Volturi is trying to get into the house, but she's not on the list of people that Mrs. Bieber gave us. She's not allowed in, is she?"

"Not under any circumstances."

"We're trying to remove her from the property quietly, but she's making it difficult."

"Give me a second." I waved him off.

"Is everything okay?" Selena asked me, her smile not faltering from her face. She was having a good time, and I shouldn't ruin it.

"It's perfect. You stay here and play for me."

"I'm going to lose everything."

"I trust you." I kissed her lips shortly before getting up from the table.

As I walked through the house, several people stopped to chat. I gave them head nods and shook hands, being the perfect host. It took me about ten minutes to get outside.

Vienna was shaking, her body barely concealed in a short dress. Her skin was tight against her small frame. She looked strung out, completely unhealthy, and disgusting. There were bodyguards trying to hold her up, and she was fighting them off.

"Let me go! I was invited," she protested.

I stood on the front steps, watching her embarrass herself further. At one point in my life, I cared about this girl. We had a very long standing sexual relationship from the time we were fifteen. We always went back to each other, no matter what. Even if our fathers were fighting, it never affected what we had. Now I felt nothing. She was a gnat that never died.

"Vienna, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Oh, thank God. Justin, you can help me." She stumbled forward. "They won't let me in."

"What made you think you were invited?"

"Everyone who's anyone is in there. I should be too." She smiled drunkenly.

I instructed the security team to leave. They silently dashed inside and shut the door.

"Vienna, how did you get here?"

"I… don't remember." She swayed.

"You need to leave. I'm having one on my cars take you home."

"No! No, please." She grabbed at my arm. "Justin, please. I just want to come inside and enjoy myself."

"You're wasted and high. Stop acting like a fool."

"You don't want me to come inside?" She pouted, dancing her fingers up my chest. "We used to be together all the time."

"Vienna, you're humiliating yourself." I pushed her away. "If Selena wanted you here…"

"Don't mention her name," she seethed. "It's always about her now. Everywhere I go, it's all about her."

"I don't want to hurt you, Vienna, but I will if you don't leave." I was trying to be civil. I felt pity for this woman.

"I see the way you look at her." She began crying. "You used to look at me that way."

"It was never the same, and you know that. I never loved you."

"But I loved you!" Vienna screamed. "I always have, and you just tossed me aside."

"Go home."

"This could have been my house." She looked around. "You could have been my husband. Those babies could have been mine. They should be mine."

"Vienna, you're crossing a line. Leave." I was more forceful with my tone.

"Or what, you're going to kill me like you did Aro? I'm not scared of you, Justin."

I took a step forward, and she flinched violently.

"Get off of my property. I don't want to see you ever again."

"You've said that before, Justin." She laughed humorlessly, walking towards me. "You've said it plenty of times, but I'm not going anywhere because I know you love me too."

"You're delusional and sad. Move on with your fucking life or you're in for a lot of disappointment."

Next thing I knew, her lips were on mine, sucking, biting, licking. Her fingers latched into my hair, pulling me closer, and my reflexes weren't fast enough at the moment to get her off. I didn't even know what was happening until it was too late.

"Come on, Justin. I know you want it." Vienna took my hand and shoved it between her legs. She wasn't wearing panties, so I felt everything.

I pushed her off of me, and she fell to the ground, snow flying out around her.

I was so shocked I didn't know how to respond. I was beyond furious. I wanted to strangle this woman and slap the ever-living shit out of her. My fists were shaking violently, so I stepped back.

I roared, "Who do you think you are?"

"I belong here," she wailed.

I kicked snow in her face, and she fell further backwards, sobbing pathetically.

I started to wipe my mouth clean. "Get her the fuck out!"

A group of security men engulfed her, and she started to scream in complaint. They held her tightly.

I turned around to go back inside, but stopped in my tracks when I saw Selena standing at the door. Her face was set in stone, her glare unfaltering.

"Selena, I didn't…" I began.

She held up her hand to stop me and started to walk down the stairs. Outside, in the snow and dim lights of the house, she looked incredibly beautiful, but that still didn't mask the fact that she was terrifyingly pissed.

"Bitch!" Vienna was shouted a slew of vulgar obscenities in Selena's direction.

Selena went right up to her. I wasn't close enough to hear the words between them, but it was obviously enough to make Vienna shake with fear… or anger. I wasn't sure which. I didn't dare walk forward. I had learned long ago that a fight between women was one not to get involved with.

Suddenly, Selena whipped her hand back and slapped Vienna across the face. It was so unexpected and forceful that I cringed slightly. The sound echoed off of the walls and left a mark on Vienna's cheek.

"Come near my family again and I'll shoot you myself." Selena's voice was uncharacteristically cold. "We've tried being nice to you, but you always come back for more. I won't put up with your shit any longer."

"I hate you," Vienna spat.

Selena began walking back over to me, her arms crossed. "I want her gone, Justin."

"She's leaving right now."

"No. I want her gone… from our lives," she clarified. "I can't have her threatening my family anymore."

The message was clear.

I nodded. "I'll handle it."

Selena bit her lip, and looked away from me for a quick second.

"I'm sorry about this." I took off my jacket, putting it over her shoulders.

"Just make sure I never I have to see that woman again." She began to walk back inside, leaving me alone to clean up the mess.

Vienna had since quieted down and kept hanging off of the security like a limp noddle. I lifted her head so that she could see me.

"I don't know what you did to make my wife so angry, but it couldn't be anything good. You're about to get everything you deserve, and I hope you rot in hell."

"You don't mean that." She slurred.

"I really do. You've taken things too far." I let her go limp again.

"What do you want us to do, sir?"

"Drop her somewhere; off a cliff, into a ravine, the lake. I don't care. Make sure she's dead and won't bother me again. Should I shoot her now or can you gentleman handle that yourselves?"

"We'll take care of it, sir." They began carrying a now sedated Vienna down the driveway.

"Good-fucking-riddance." I wiped my lips again for good measure.

Selena was sitting in one of the chairs on the porch, trying not to cry, and huddled in my jacket.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm not going to lie and tell you I'm fine. It's not a great feeling to see your husband get kissed by another woman."

"She's crazy, Selena. Don't put any stock in that."

"I'm not, but if I ever see her again, I don't know what I'll do."

"That won't be a problem. I promise you that." I sat next to her.

"She said she would kill Roman and Sophia if she ever got the chance."

I went rigid.

"She said that was the only reason you were still here; I trapped you."

"Selena, that's not true. You must know that by now." I took her hand.

"I know, but she's been saying that for a long time. I gets to me after a while."

We stayed quiet for a long minute, watching the snow fall.

"If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable like that again, please let me know. Don't try to fight them by yourself."

"I'll tell you one thing, before you even try to kiss me again, you need to go through an entire bottle of mouthwash." She smiled.

"Agreed."

Christmas morning came with a blizzard of snow. The grounds were covered in it, and I couldn't even open the door all the way. We were shut in, but it was fine since we weren't really doing anything anyway.

Francis woke us up, knowing that something exciting was happening. That was quickly followed by the babies who screamed in unison. It took us about half an hour to calm them down enough to start our morning. We dressed them in the most ridiculous red and green onesies. For once, they didn't protest.

The main tree in the family room was lit by the time we got downstairs and gifts over poured from underneath. In an effort to give Selena a break, I had sent her upstairs last night around ten and nearly locked her in our room. I did the gifts.

"Justin, you went overboard yet again." She kissed me, holding Sophia in her arms.

"I couldn't help myself." I shrugged. "Once I started with shopping, I couldn't stop. It's quite addictive."

"And you didn't want to go shopping last week."

"Everything can be done online nowadays. It's more fun that way."

"Look at all this stuff." Alec was stuck under the tree, trying to pull things out.

Carlisle and Esme had invited him to spend Christmas at their house. He declined politely. They hadn't shown up at the party, and I hadn't attempted to see them since. I spoke to Carlisle once, to invite him to Christmas dinner tonight. He gave me some bullshit "maybe" answer. He was isolating himself from me. It was his loss. I had a feeling Esme had different feelings on the subject, though. He still didn't realize I knew about his book. He would certainly be hearing about it soon.

The staff got a few days off and were all currently holed up at a ski lodge an hour away. Well, Katy Nana decided to stay. She wouldn't even entertain the idea of a vacation.

"Picture time." Selena handed me Sophia, and I sat on the couch with both babies in my arms. They were very active this morning.

"I don't think I can take any more of these photo sessions, Selena."

"Well, get used to it. We have at least eighteen more years of this." Selena began snapping. "This is only the beginning."

"Great. Do you hear that, babies? We'll have more pictures than we know what to do with." Both Sophia and Roman looked up at the sound of my voice. Their eyes were stark green, and I loved that.

The morning was more enjoyable than any Christmas I've had in recent memory. Granted, we didn't really do Christmas in Brazil, but this was still a lot of fun. I think it was different this year because I had a family and the happiness just wasn't about me anymore. Just to watch Selena and Alec go crazy over gifts was enough. I only wish that the babies were a little older so that they could enjoy the hundreds of things they received.

I got Selena everything under the sun since I never really asked her what she wanted. For over a month, I just kept collecting gifts for her. If I passed a jewelry store, I would pop my head in to take a look. Or a clothing boutique, shoe store; whatever caught my eye. Needless to say, she had boxes stacked up to the ceiling. The only thing I didn't get her this year was a new car, since there wasn't any more room in the garage.

Alec also received a hell of a lot. I was a fucking softie and spoiled him. He was a good kid, rarely drank, never touched an illegal drug, and got good grades. He was better than I was at that age and caused me little to no stress, so I didn't feel bad getting him extra shit. Plus, he stayed loyal to me when Carlisle and Esme returned. He was always on my side.

"Okay, it's your turn." Selena dragged a large wrapped box from underneath the tree.

"I told you not to get my anything," I scolded.

"That's ridiculous. You love getting gifts." She rolled her eyes.

"But not from you. I've said that for years."

"Well, I didn't spend one single cent on this."

"Really?" I set the heavy box on my lap and began to unwrap it.

"Don't make fun of me." She bit her lip.

"I would never do that. Did you make it?"

"You'll see."

I tried to be as delicate as possible so that I didn't tear anything important. I pulled the red paper off to reveal a simple shoe box. I looked at Selena with a confused expression, and she urged me to continue.

I lifted the lid to find a decent sized photo album bound in black leather. My initials were scribed in gold on the front cover.

"What is this?" I picked it carefully out of the box.

Selena shrugged, blushed, and ducked her head.

I opened it up and was shocked to see my younger self staring back at me. It was a close-up shot of Selena and me. It must have been taken right around the time when I first met her, at some family function. I looked like a fucking college kid compared to my appearance now, but there was a smile on both of our faces. There were a lot less stress wrinkles, that's for sure.

"Whoa." I brought it up closer so that I could see better. "How old is this?"

"The first time I came over your parents for dinner after church. One of your cousins had it. I've been begging family members for pictures since Thanksgiving." She turned the page.

There were a couple more of our earlier years, some of them posed and others candid. I was smiling in every fucking one, always staring Selena down with a gaze that could only be described as "loving". There must have been hundreds of pictures in there, and every page was filled. The end featured a lot with the babies and me, right after they were born mostly and other shots that I wasn't even aware of.

"You've been busy." I tried to speak clearly, but there was something in my throat. I coughed. "This is… great, wonderful. Thank you."

"I kept saying to myself that there wasn't anything I could buy you, so I might as well make it." She scooted closer to me. "Do you really like it?"

"Of course I do. I can't wait to go through all of these. Our whole history is in this book."

She breathed a sigh of relief, "Good."

"Thank you." I kissed her as much as I could with our awkward position.

"Merry Christmas." She wrapped her arms around me.

"Merry Christmas. I'm going to keep this thing forever."

She pulled away and wiped her face. "I'm being so emotional. I can't help it."

I chuckled at how cute she was. "I have one last gift for you."

"Really, Justin? I can't take much more."

"This is it, I promise." I got up from my seat and went to the closet on the other side of the room. I brought the rather large box over to the tree, trying not to jostle it too much. It was already shaking a little.

Selena's eyes shone when I sat it in front of her.

"What is it?" Alec inched forward.

"It's not yours, so it doesn't matter," I snapped.

"Fine," he huffed.

Selena lifted up the lid, and her mouth hung open slightly. She picked up the small dark brown puppy and pulled him out of the box. He was a rambunctious little thing, licking at her face and being an overly excited newborn. His fur was almost the exact same shade as Selena's hair color, which I found funny. His eyes were black and those floppy ears were his selling point. He just looked at Selena, and she melted. He had a bright red bow around his neck. Amun convinced me that was a necessity.

"Justin, you got me a dog?" she cooed.

"Yup. The same one you nearly cried over on the street."

"I don't even know what to say." She held the puppy closer. "He's so cute."

"He's been at the vet for the past week. I had to make sure the thing was clean."

I was so glad that Francis was sleeping in a different room, because I didn't know how he would react to this.

"Another dog?" Alec held out his hands, and Selena put him in them. "This is great. And he's a German Shepherd. We can teach him how to be badass."

"What do we name him?" Selena petted his head.

"Whatever you want. Just keep him away from my stuff. I don't think he's housetrained yet."

Katy Nana shuffled into the room, but backed out quickly so that no one saw her. She peeked her head around the corner and motioned for me to come over. I subtly nodded.

"Sweetheart, I'm going to go get us some eggnog."

"Okay." She nodded, barley paying attention to me anymore.

I quickly went into the hallway.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I didn't mean to interrupt the day, but I thought you might want to see this." She handed me this morning's paper.

There—amongst the holiday joy and wonderful snippets of cheer—was a small blurb about the death of Vienna Volturi. She was found at the bottom of a lake with stones in her pockets. The coroner called it an accidental suicide since her blood alcohol level was triple the legal limit, but the man who wrote the article slanted it as if she was murdered. It had been seven days exactly since I last saw her.

I didn't bother reading the thing thoroughly.

"I was wondering if we should keep this from Mrs. Selena. That might be the best thing for now," Katy Nana said.

I looked around the corner. Selena was happily making faces at Roman and Sophia. Alec was right along with her, dressing them up in their new Christmas outfits. The new dog was very nervously walking around the room, trying to sniff things out. It was picture perfect.

"I think you're right," I agreed.

This had been the best Christmas of my life, and I wasn't going to ruin it with anything. Especially not the insignificant death of Vienna Volturi.

SELENA POV

"The angel of Death brings no freedom to the wicked. In its place, pain and destruction survive."-Socrates

All things Twilight related belong to Stephanie Meyer

I sipped my coffee and sat on the sofa, watching the snow melt outside. I was more than happy to let the cold go. It was the first of March and spring was right around the corner. I was ready for some sun.

On this rare day, when the babies were sleeping, the house was quiet, and no one needed my attention, I took the time to think about everything going on in my life.

Somehow, the drama was at a minimum. Hell, it was almost nonexistent, compared to last year at this time. But I think that was because Justin and I had learned how to deal with it all better. We were really good at leaving the extra shit behind and focusing on each other.

The babies were healthy, and we were happy. That was what really mattered. Of course, there was always something going on with the family, mainly Carlisle and Esme. We had ostracized them, left them out in the cold to rot. The only thing "Bieber" about the two now was their last name. They still hadn't even seen the babies. Justin wouldn't allow it.

There was a huge fight about a month ago, something to do with a book that Carlisle was writing. It apparently had things in it that shouldn't, and Justin blew up like I've never seen before. The things he said to Carlisle were some of the most vulgar and toxic utterances I had ever heard in my life. They weren't on good terms, so neither was anyone else. Esme would try to call, but I didn't have much to say to her. She was allowing her husband to write this thing that would hurt our family, and I didn't want anything to do with it. She stopped begging to see the babies after a month or so. They stopped coming to church, they didn't talk to any of us, and Justin had all but placed a scarlet letter on their chests. I was sticking by my husband on this.

Besides that, things were good.

Roman and Sophia were growing every day. At six and a half months old, they were very advanced for their development. I almost started crying the other day when Sophia tried to crawl. She didn't make it very far, but I was terrified and overjoyed at the same time. Little Roman had a mind of his own. He rolled around like a tire. If I just set him on the floor for a minute, he would take off and try to roll away. It was exhausting keeping up with him.

They were eating pureed food now, and we stocked up on hundreds of mashed products. Thankfully, they took to it well and were both sitting in highchairs with easer. I was so proud of them, even though I was sure all mothers say that.

We had a slight health scare when Roman had a bad cough about two months ago. It was right after New Year's, and it sounded like he couldn't really breathe. We rushed him to the hospital where he stayed for some observation, but the doctor said this might be happening more often as his lungs began to grow. I got so terrified at night because I was always thinking about Roman. What if he stopped breathing? What if we couldn't get him to the hospital in time? Now I saw why mothers don't get enough sleep. It was impossible.

"Mrs. Selena!" a scream came from upstairs.

My heart stopped, and I set my coffee on the table, running out of the room. I took the stairs two at a time, worried about what might be happening.

"Where the hell are you?" I shouted.

"In your room," Agata called back.

I hurriedly opened the door and let out a frustrated sigh when I went into the closet.

"I was trying to hang up your laundry, and I found him in here. I don't know why to do. Mr. Justin is going to kill me." Agata looked like she might start crying.

Bosco, the new dog, was ripping one of Justin's shoes to pieces. And it wasn't just any shoe, either. It was one of Justin's favorites.

"Not again!" I pulled at my hair. "Bosco, stop it."

I started to rip the shoe from his mouth, but he thought I was trying to play and tugged harder. Agata helped, and we yanked with all our might, but it was no use. My grasp slipped, and I fell to the floor into a pile of freshly folded laundry.

Bosco tackled me, licking my face and slobbering all over me.

I giggled as his tongue tickled my skin. "Get off of me. You're in trouble."

While Francis was the obedient, good dog, Bosco was the opposite. He was the rowdy teenager who could be fiercely protective, but made messes that were disastrous. I kept trying to convince Justin that Bosco had a good heart, but he hated this dog with a passion. I even heard him muttering in his sleep a couple of times about how he wanted to run the poor thing over with his car.

To be fair, Bosco didn't like Justin either. They would glare at each other and have silent fights. I think Bosco just liked getting on his nerves, which he found out was fairly easy to do. The good thing was that Bosco never once snapped or bit anyone. He was always playful, and I loved him to death, but he became another item on my list of duties.

The dog was getting bigger by the day. I didn't know that German Shepherds tended to eat… a lot, and he was almost up to my knees at this point. There were huge bags of food in the storage closet downstairs, but Bosco could devour them all in no time. Even Francis couldn't keep up. Thankfully, those two got along fine. They were like best friends, but Francis knew when to back off of Justin. Bosco didn't. As a result, Francis and Justin were never separated. Whenever I wanted to find one, I just had to find the other. They were always together.

"Justin is going to throw a fit." I picked up the shoe and let the drool pour out. He licked his chops.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Selena." Agata bit her lip.

"It's not a problem," I assured her. "You did nothing wrong."

She nodded and smiled, continuing to put away the laundry.

I got up from the floor and grabbed Bosco by his red collar, dragging him out of the room. His heavy feet padded down the stairs, and I opened the back door to let him run free in the yard.

"You're in big trouble when Justin gets home," I said to him. "I can't save you this time."

He ran off to chase something in the wet grass.

Francis sat at my feet, watching Bosco. I could have sworn I saw him shake his head in shame. He tried to set an example for the young one, but it never worked.

I shut the door just as the phone began to ring. I rushed to get it, but of course Gioni beat me there. He liked to piss me off like that. I could at least answer the phone by myself, but he wouldn't hear of it.

"Bieber residence. Of course, Mr. Bieber." He handed me the phone. "It's Mr. Justin for you."

"Thank you." I took it, "Justin?"

"Hello, sweetheart."

"Hi. I didn't get a chance to see you this morning before you left."

"I know. I had to be in really early and didn't want to wake you. How has your day been?"

"Oh, you know; the usual. Babies to change, dogs to feed, staff to argue with."

"Would you like the evening off?"

"Sure."

"Come have dinner with me in the city. We can go out for a nice date."

"Really? That would actually be kind of great." I sighed. "Can I meet you in about an hour?"

"Sure. William will pick you up."

"Okay. Let me go make myself beautiful."

"Selena, you're already beautiful to me."

I swooned.

"Well…thank you." I blushed.

"You're blushing, aren't you?"

"No!"

He chuckled, "See you soon."

William dropped me off at one of Justin's favorite places. It was a tiny, private Italian restaurant with enough room for about ten small circular tables. It reminded me of a movie with soft music playing and only candle light illuminating the area. The food was incredibly fresh and homemade, which made Justin a very happy man.

He was seated in the far corner of the restaurant, reading through some emails on his phone. He put it away when he saw me approaching.

"Finally. I haven't seen you all day." He stood, kissed me, and pulled out my chair. "It's been hell."

"Really? What have you been up to?"

"I don't even really know." He chuckled, taking off his glasses to clean the lenses before putting them back on. "I'm so fucking tired, though."

"I know. You barely sleep anymore. Something's going on that you're not telling me."

"For your protection, of course."

"Of course." I sipped my water.

Justin had been very strange for the past two months. All the Bieber men had, actually. There was a huge investigation going on about the disappearance of some very high profile crime bosses. They just vanished, without a trace. One-by-one, they were falling off the face of the earth, no explanation or investigation. Justin was probably behind it. Correction, Justin was definitely behind it.

"And how are my children? Good, I hope." He grinned.

"They're feisty as ever. Roman refused to eat today so he spit peas in my hair."

"I told you he won't eat that stuff. He has to have sweet potatoes. Sophia is the one who likes peas."

"Well, I'm trying to make him sample it, at least. Peas are healthy for you."

"Gross." Justin shuddered.

"Like father like son, I guess."

"We have an appointment tomorrow to visit a pre-school downtown."

"I know. I didn't forget. I still think it's too early, though."

"It's never too early to have an education. I was talking to one of our neighbors and he has his one year old in math classes. I'll be damned if that baby gets a leg up on ours."

"But they can't even talk yet," I argued. "I'm not saying we shouldn't look into it, but we can at least wait a little longer."

"You just don't want them to leave you at home bored."

"That's ridiculous." I put my napkin in my lap, trying to hide my face from him.

"I know you too well, Selena. You can't lie to me."

"I'm plenty busy, thank you."

"By the way, your boss keeps calling me."

"I don't have a boss."

"From the TV station. He says he's trying to get in contact with you, and you're ignoring his calls."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I shrugged.

"You don't want to go back to work, do you?"

"Not particularly."

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

"I just don't want to miss the babies growing up. Every day they do something amazing, and I would hate myself if I worked through it all."

"Like me?"

"No, not like you. You're home most of the time," I said regretfully. I didn't want him to feel badly. "But it's just different with me. I can't take my eyes off of them. I want to stay home for now."

"That's perfectly fine with me. I don't have a problem with it, but you've got to call the guy back. He's starting to annoy me."

I nodded. "First thing in the morning."

"Good."

Our food arrived just as my stomach was about to eat itself. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I smelled the aromas around me. Justin and I had a peaceful meal. He was in very rare spirits lately, laughing and smiling at lot.

"Oh, we had another accident at home?" I told him as we were finished up.

"What happened?" His grin faded. "Who got hurt?"

"No one, but your shoes are being destroyed."

"Which shoes? Not my brown Armani shoes."

"Sorry."

"I'm going to kill him."

"He can't help it."

"Selena, he does this on purpose," Justin grunted. "He's got to go. I hate that mutt."

"No, you don't. Bosco is just adventurous."

"Well, why can't he be adventurous with your shoes?"

"Because he loves you more." I made a half-hearted attempt to suck up.

"He does not love me. I won't allow it. He's a dirty beast that needs to stay outside."

"What if Francis started eating your stuff, would you hate him too?"

"Francis would never do such a thing. He knows better. I'm putting him in obedience training. He can't keep acting like this. Last night, I found him in the library eating a book. He was ripping apart my first edition copy of The Great Gatsby. I'm going to shoot that thing."

"I think obedience training is good enough. He'll be perfect once he goes through that."

"I hate him, and it's your fault. I can't believe I got you another dog."

"I happen to love the cutie. He's getting so big."

"Yeah, we'll see how long we keep him." Justin got up from the table and helped me with my coat.

We walked outside into the chilly night and almost got ran over by some bike messenger. He screamed his apologies, but kept on peddling.

"I hate this city," Justin griped. "I want to move."

"We can't move. You have obligations here."

"I don't care. I can do work from… a beach in Brazil, for instance."

"I don't think the family would be too keen on that."

"Who cares? I can do whatever I want," he protested.

"No, you can't. We're not moving because the babies need stability while their growing up."

William screeched to a halt on the side of the road and got out of the car to hold the door open.

"You go home. I have a couple more hours of work to do." Justin pulled me close to him.

"More work? But you've already had a fourteen hour day. It's time to rest."

"Wish I could." He rested his forehead against mine.

"Are you sure I can't convince you? There are a lot of fun things to do at home."

"Well, what did you have in mind, Mrs. Bieber?"

"Use your imagination."

"I have a dirty mind. You might not like what's inside."

"I think I'm prepared for it." I kissed him urgently, my hands traveling up his chest and into his hair.

"Selena… please don't do this," he pleaded as my lips played with his, teasing and nipping as I went.

"Do what?" I replied innocently.

"Okay, okay. I'll go, but half the world is going to be pissed that they didn't get their shipment of guns."

"Half the world can wait. Mrs. Bieber is horny." I pulled him into the car by his tie.

William took off, driving like a mad man.

"Selena, you're a temptress of the worst kind." Justin huskily spoke while kissing up my neck. "I'm highly shocked by your forward and brazen actions."

"I can't help it."

Thank God the backseat was big enough for us to lie vertically. Justin hitched my leg over his hip and pushed deep against my center.

"Oh, wow," I squeaked out.

"You are in for a very interesting night," he nearly growled into my ear.

"I can't wait."

"William, hurry the fuck up!" Justin kicked the back of his chair.

"I'm trying, sir. There's an accident up ahead."

"Damn it!" he barked. "Fine. Take the next right and drop us off at the Marshall Hotel."

"Justin, we need to go home. The babies…"

"The babies can spend one night alone." He silenced me with rough kisses.

Five minutes later, I was nearly carried into the hotel; William barely had time to open the door before Justin rushed us out. We checked in and raced into the elevators like horny teenagers after prom.

Justin had me up against the mirrored wall as we rode up. Unfortunately, a father and his two kids got on the elevator on the second floor. We were pushed into a corner, and Justin made inappropriate noises of frustration under his breath.

"Stop it," I whispered.

We rode up in silence for another ten floors before they got off, leaving us alone once again. Justin and I continued kissing for the rest of the floors.

"I have to open the door," he whispered against my lips as he fumbled with the key in the hallway.

"I'm not stopping you."

"I can't see." He chuckled, reaching behind me. The door finally clicked open, and I was forced inside.

My jacket was gone and shoes were kicked off, as I laid back into the bed.

"Selena, you are about to be defiled in every way possible." Justin quickly worked on his tie.

"I would love that." I put my hands above my head.

"Turn over." He ordered.

"What?"

"Over. Now." He got on the large bed, rolling me until I was on my stomach. He lifted my shirt so that my lower back was exposed.

Justin dipped his head, and I gasped quietly as his teeth began softly biting the flesh. He placed wet kisses on my back and began taking my shirt off as he traveled up my spine. After another minute, my shirt was gone completely, but I still had my bra on. I stayed faced down in the covers as Justin began to lick almost every part of my back, and I couldn't help the moans that went through my body from the feel of his lips on my skin. It was indescribable.

"I don't want you to move unless I say," Justin groaned hoarsely.

"Yes, sir," I replied breathlessly.

Justin's arms snaked around my body until they were underneath me. He lifted my hips slightly so he could fumble with the button on my jeans before slowly pulling them down my legs, nipping at the back of my thighs as he did.

"Am I going to have to beg again?" I asked.

"Depends on how good you are." He chuckled against my calf and took my jeans off all the way.

I hated when he did this slow and sweet thing. It really did get on my nerves. I just wanted him to fuck the brains out of me without holding anything back, but he rarely did that for fear of hurting me.

He began traveling back up my body until he reached the clasp of my bra and unhooked it with his teeth. Needless to say, I was impressed with that trick.

I heard my sighs turn into moans and I didn't know how much longer I could take this without jumping on him, but I tried. I turned my head and saw a full length mirror on the wall, showing our reflections. He didn't seem to notice or didn't seem to care, but either way, the sight of him on top of my body licking and biting was incredibly hot.

By this time, my panties were ruined from wetness, and I knew they weren't ever going to be dry again.

"Justin, you have to stop teasing me," I panted.

"I haven't even started yet," he said darkly and I knew this was going to be pure torture.

Justin kept me face down as he tantalizingly pulled my panties towards my ankles, and then flicked them into the corner.

I made the move to turn over but Justin's strong hands caught me before I could. "I told you to stay put," he said firmly.

I watched in the mirror as he began raking his heated hands up my naked body, squeezing when he reached my sensitive areas. His eyes locked in on mine in the reflection, and I didn't ever want to look away. I felt the bed move as he got off. He was back on within a couple seconds, but this time, he pushed his naked body on top of mine, and I squealed as I felt his hardness against my back.

Justin moved my hair to the side and placed wet kisses on my neck. "I want you on all fours," he growled in my ear, and I smiled happily because this was my favorite position.

He moved me slowly so that I was hovering with my weight on my elbows with my ass in the air. I watched in the mirror as Justin brought his hand between my legs and felt the groan erupt from my mouth as he slowly dragged his fingers over my slit.

"Jesus, Selena, you're so wet," he snarled.

I couldn't reply because my entire brain shut off. I was in such a state of lust that I don't think I even remembered my name.

He moved a finger so that it was inside of me, and I gasped as went deep into my body causing me to lightly shake. He added another finger after a minute of steady movement, and I didn't know how much more I could take.

"Please, Justin?" I begged, and I saw him smirk in the mirror.

He moved so that he was positioned at my entrance from behind, and then thrust deep into my body with a growl.

"Holy fuck," Justin breathed and started moving slowly so that his hips rolled into mine.

I could already feel my walls begin to clamp down, but I wasn't done yet, so I pushed back the pleasure. He continued to move within me and after a minute or two picked up the speed.

He panted as he movements got even faster; the sound of our flesh colliding sent my mind reeling. I looked in the mirror and saw how his hips rammed into mine and his hands grabbing at my ass.

The sound of slapping flesh filled the room, and our whimpers turned more guttural with each passing second.

He spread my legs wider and brought his hand down to begin rubbing the place where we connected. That was as much as I could take, because a second later, both our bodies erupted and I felt myself turn to jelly.

"Fuck." We both yelled at the same time and let the pleasure rip through our bodies.

He lied on top of me while staying connected and placed light kisses on my shoulders while I tried to catch my breath.

"That was… too good." I licked my lips.

"We're going again," he demanded, lifting me up into his arms and placing me on my back.

Four mind-numbing hours later, we collapsed against each other for the last time. I was so sore, it hurt to breathe. Justin's hands never left my body, feeling my skin and pulling me closer to him.

"This has been the best sex of my life," he admitted.

I groaned. That was the only thing I could come up with.

"Did I kill you?" Justin, seemingly happy with his sexual accomplishments for the night, laughed heartily.

"I'm so spent."

"That's what happens when your husband is an Olympic Sex Master."

"Is that what we're calling it nowadays?"

"Yes, and there's plenty more where that came from." He rolled on top of me, his tip barely enticing my entrance.

"How can you still be hard? You're a fucking machine." I laid further into the pillows.

"Genetics? Experience? Take your pick."

"It's not healthy." I pushed him off playfully. "I'm all for the multiple orgasms, but I'm going to fall apart in a minute."

"You're an amateur."

"Compared to you, everyone is."

Justin placed his hands behind his head. "I can't help that."

I pulled the sheet around my body and started to clamber over his body to get to the phone.

"Who are you calling?" he asked.

"The house. We really should tell them that we won't be home tonight." I began dialing the numbers. "And I want to wish the babies goodnight."

Justin rolled his eyes.

Gioni picked up. "Bieber residence."

"Hi, this is Selena," I said excitedly.

"Oh, Mrs. Bieber, how nice to hear from you tonight," he replied, his voice all-knowing about the inappropriate actions going on in this hotel room.

"I was just calling to see how everything is going. How are the babies? Have they been fed? Are they sleeping? Can I talk to them?"

Justin took the phone from me. "Gioni, Mrs. Bieber is having a slight meltdown. Please inform her that everything is fine before she goes into shock."

I snatched the phone back.

"All is well. Katy Nana has attended to the young ones. and they are sleeping for the night."

"Did you give Roman his inhaler? He needs it every night before bed."

"Yes, we remembered."

"Good," I sighed in relief. "And the dogs," I whispered.

"Oh, that's another matter on its own. Bosco, the little terror, has decided to sleep on the leather couch in Mr. Justin's office. His claws are scratching up the upholstery."

Justin heard the conversation and took the phone. "Get that dog out of my house! Put him in the fucking yard and tie him to a tree. We'll be back in the morning, and if that thing has ruined any more of my stuff, I'll kill him."

He slammed the receiver down with a clang. I cringed.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Selena, if I didn't love you so much, I would have that thing made into a rug."

"Don't say that."

"It's true. He's going to some kind of doggy school where they teach him manners. I won't stand for it."

I nodded. "But you have to admit this is kind of funny."

"I beg to differ." Justin sat up, swinging his legs over the bed.

I went up behind him, starting to massage his shoulders. "We can get rid of him, if you really want to."

He sighed, "No. You love that dog."

"But you hate him."

"He just needs training. I'll survive." Justin ran his hands through his hair.

"How about," I kissed his neck, "we get a couples' massage and work all this stress out of your body."

"In case you haven't noticed, the sex put me in a rather lethargic mood. A massage seems redundant." He smirked.

"Well, I want one."

"Ah, the root of the request. You want a massage."

"But it's more fun if it's for couples." I reached for the phone again and dialed the front desk.

The next morning, William pulled up in front of the house and I nearly fell out of the car.

Gioni opened the door with a smile. "Nice to have you home."

"Where are the babies?" I asked immediately.

"Still sleeping."

"Still?"

"Well, they woke up earlier and are down again."

"Damn." I really wanted to see them, but I knew not to wake sleeping babies.

"See, Selena, I told you." Justin came into the house. "Just relax."

"I don't like spending the night away from them. It doesn't feel right."

"And where have you two been?" Alec's voice bellowed. "I was up half the night until Gioni told me you were staying in the city. I've been worried sick."

"Thanks, Dad." Justin pushed past him, going into the kitchen. "We just needed grownup time. Away from kids."

"You could have called."

"We did," I said.

"Called me."

"Please. You aren't the keeper of my schedule," Justin argued.

"Well, I should be. I thought you were out doing…"

"Don't! Shut your mouth right now before you saying something you shouldn't." Justin's voice carried throughout the kitchen.

Both of their eyes shifted to mine. Once again, they were up to something and wouldn't say what. It was probably something dangerous and illegal. They knew I would kill them if it was something too bad, so it was just best for me to stay out of the loop for now.

Justin sat on a stool, and Agata handed him a glass of orange juice.

"I was still worried." Alec sat as well. "But I kept the babies entertained. They love me."

"They love everyone," I said, "Don't be too flattered."

"They're so cute."

Justin grunted some kind of reply.

"You're really not a morning person, are you?" Alec asked.

Before any of us could say anything else, we heard the loud padding of feet that could only be coming from one animal.

"Oh, God." Justin banged his head on the counter.

Bosco rounded the corner so fast that he hit the opposite wall before correcting himself and running into the kitchen. He went straight for Justin, putting his front feet on his lap.

"I told you he was in love." I petted his ears.

"I'm done being civil with him. Gioni, call a trainer! Someone from the military or animal control. This thing needs extra help."

"Yes, sir. Right away."

There was a lot going on in the kitchen, but the baby monitor was on loud so I could hear the wail of a baby. I ran up the stairs faster than I ever thought possible, part worried and part excited to see my children.

Roman and Sophia were both awake, rolling around in their crib.

"I'm here." I lifted Roman up into my arms. "I'm right here. It's okay."

He quieted down. I missed him so much last night, and I knew it was irrational, but I couldn't help it. They were my world, and when I was away from them, it hurt. Was that normal? I was a young mother, but that didn't mean I loved my children any less than if I was older.

"How was your night?" I kissed his forehead. "Were you a good little boy?"

"Katy Nana said they were perfect without us." Justin entered the room, picking up Sophia. "We have very well behaved babies."

"I wouldn't expect anything less."

"I can't wait until they're older when they can understand us."

"I bet they can, but can't respond, obviously." I bounced Roman in my arms.

"Someone needs a change." Justin laid Sophia down. He switched out diapers like a pro, without a word of disgust or revulsion. "There. All fresh."

The next morning, I had to take the kids for a checkup at the doctor's.

It was rather uneventful. They got a few shots and the basic lookover. I was thankful that nothing was wrong with either of them, and even with his underdeveloped lungs, Roman was doing well.

After that, I had William take us over to Justin's office. I hadn't been in a while and it was nice out so I didn't want to go home yet. We got waves on our way through the lobby, and since no one had really seen the babies before, we were stopped several times. Everyone always wanted to talk to you when you had newborns.

We finally made it up to Justin's floor and Mario greeted me at the elevator.

"Hello." He waved.

"Hi."

"Security told me you were coming up." He bent down and waved at the babies in their double stroller. "Do you need water or anything?"

"No, I'm good. Is Justin around? We just wanted to come see him."

"He's in an interview right now, but he should be done in a second."

"An interview?" My eyebrows rose.

"Yeah, he's getting a new lawyer. Mr. Jenks is retiring."

"Since when?"

"Since his wife is making him. Health reasons."

"Hmm. I wonder if I could pull that off," I thought out loud. "Is he stressing over it?"

"You know he is. He hasn't eaten lunch in about a week. I don't know when he gets the chance to even breathe."

"Okay, clear his schedule for tomorrow, please." I began pushing the stroller down the hall.

"I can't do that without his permission."

"I'm giving you permission."

Jane, who was on the phone, hung up when she saw me coming and nearly bounced over to see the babies. She held Sophia close and started making all kinds of noises.

"You came to visit us today!" she exclaimed. "The day just got ten times better. Justin is riding my ass so much these days."

"I'm sorry. Has he been saying anything bad?"

"Not particularly. He's just… um, aggressive." Jane phrased herself carefully.

The door to Justin's office opened and a rather irritated man stepped out. He looked pissed as fuck and stomped over to Jane's desk.

"That man in there is a pyscho."

"I take it the interview didn't go as you would have hoped." Jane put Sophia back in the stroller.

"No. He's ridiculous."

"I'm so sorry for the inconvenience…"

"Get out!" Justin bellowed from his room. "I don't want you anywhere near my office, and especially not with my wife in the vicinity."

"Go to hell!" The man angrily began marching towards the elevators.

I stood stunned for a couple of seconds. Justin's face was red and not pleased, at all. He calmed down quickly, but you could still tell that he was upset about something.

"Wow. That was interesting," I muttered.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," Justin apologized. "That bastard and his fucking…"

I stopped him. "Justin, we talked about swearing in front of the babies."

He inhaled, closed his eyes, and then exhaled. He did this several times. "Today is not a good day for you to be here."

"I know. I should have called."

"It's fine. I'll just need to rearrange my schedule a little. We're supposed to be seeing schools anyway."

"No, don't do that. We just wanted to stop by for a second."

"I need a break. What about lunch, does that sound good?"

I nodded.

"Jane, can you give me a free hour, please?"

"No problem. Go eat."

Justin took the stroller from me and began pushing it towards the elevators. The babies were very excited to see him, waving their arms around and squealing.

"I had Mario clean your schedule for tomorrow. You're not going to work," I told him.

"That's ridiculous. I have things to do that can't be ignored."

"Justin, you're going to kill yourself if you keep going like this."

"It's what I have to do. I can't help it."

We rode down towards the cafeteria. It was fairly sparse today compared to the other times I came down here. Justin and I ordered light sandwiches before sitting down.

"You are going to be an eater like your Uncle Emmett," Justin said to Roman while feeding him his sweet potatoes. "He just keeps on going."

"Well, to be fair, babies are supposed to eat a lot." I stopped Sophia from grabbing her jar of peas. I was determined not to make a mess this time.

"True."

"We need to talk about something kind of important." I fed Sophia.

"And what is that?"

"Me going back on birth control."

"Oh? Is that what you want?"

"Well, I figure I need to unless you want another kid in nine months. I, for one, can't handle that right now."

"Agreed," Justin chuckled, "but it's not my decision. If you think that's what you need to do, then go ahead."

"Would… you want more kids?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant.

"When the time is right, sure."

"How many more?"

"However many you'll give me." He was trying desperately to help Roman eat, but he kept opening up his mouth, letting the sweet potatoes fall out.

"We'll see where we are in three years." I wanted more kids, of course, but not so close together that we were completely exhausted. But then again, I didn't want them so far apart that everyone was disconnected. Three years seemed like a perfect amount of time to wait.

"Roman, stop that. You have to finish your lunch," Justin said sternly. "And now you're making a mess."

I handed him a wipe, and he began cleaning up Roman's face, which was currently splashed with all kinds of pureed food.

"He does this on purpose," Justin complained, wiping his own face free of food.

"I think it's cute."

Before we could continue the conversation any further, Jane ran into the room. She was out of breath and frantically looking around. She spotted us in the corner and came gliding over.

"They've moved your meeting up at the preschool by an hour," she wheezed. "You have to leave now."

"What?" Justin choked out. "Did they give any explanation?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "Something about the headmaster going home early. I'm not sure, but you two need to get over there."

"Okay, well…. can you take care of the babies until we get back?" I asked her, gathering up my stuff.

"Yeah, they'll be fine. Mario and I can handle them."

"They've been feed and will need to be burped soon. Then they can just go down for their naps," Justin instructed, standing up.

"Everything will be fine. Go!" She pushed us forward.

Justin and I were in the car in record time, speeding off through the crowded streets with William at the wheel.

"Okay, so what do I need to know about this preschool?" I asked.

"It's in an old bank, which is interesting, and has a wonderful track record with higher education. They start early with developmental math and speech."

"Do they play with blocks and stuff?"

"Selena, this is not the kind of place where they play with blocks," he replied in disgust.

"Well, the babies need fun."

"You can have fun at home. School is for work."

Justin and I had every different ideas of education. I wanted Roman and Sophia to have the best in life, of course, but they were just babies. I didn't want them growing up too fast. Preschool and the early years were a time to just be kids.

"I'm guessing you went to this preschool?" I said, not bothering to leave the acid from my voice.

"In fact, I did," he said smugly, "and then to Catholic school after that. I don't know about you, but that's something I don't want to subject Roman and Sophia to."

"Catholic school?"

"Yes. It's the worst experience in the world."

"Sir," William rolled down the partition of the car, "we have a problem."

"Yes." He sighed.

"Um… that thing… we were discussing earlier… It's happening now."

"That thing?" Justin questioned, before it dawned on him. "Oh, shit!"

"Yes, so what would you like me to do?"

Justin pondered for a minute, muttering to himself and then snapping out of it. "Take Selena home."

"I don't think there's time, sir. I would have to drive all the way back across town."

"Damn." Justin pulled out a very large gold gun from behind him, checking the chamber. "Selena, listen to me very carefully. I need to you stay in the car and don't move a muscle, is that understood?"

"What's going on?"

"Something very important." That's all he said. I doubted I would get anything else out of him.

The car took a sharp right, and we were off onto another part of the city, our appointment at the preschool forgotten. I stayed silent on the way, just thinking about what could be going on. Justin's leg bounced, which only happened if he got nervous.

"Justin, should I be worried?" I asked quietly.

"No. Everything's fine."

We ended up at the recreational docks near the water. William parked in a secluded alley and kept the car running Seagulls cawed above, and it was fairly quiet since it was still too cold for sailboats to be out. There was a single black car waiting further down the alley.

"I'll be right back. Don't get out of the car, no matter what happens." Justin gripped my hand and squeezed. "Everything's all right. I promise."

"I don't like this," I admitted, my voice weak and questioning.

Justin kissed the side of my face and then opened the door. "Please stay here."

When he shut the door, the locks clicked with a loud, enforcing sound.

"Everything's fine, Mrs. Bieber. He knows what he's doing."

"I sure hope so." I slunk down into my seat, but still kept my line of vision.

Justin stood near the other car and stepping out, I saw Shinobu. I had only met the man a couple of times, but he had never really intimidated me like some of the other mob bosses. I didn't find him imposing at all. He was skinny and just seemed unimportant next to Justin.

They talked for a second, both of them clearly uncomfortable with the situation and trying to seem professional. Their lips moved and their heads bobbed in silent conversation. When Shinobu looked towards our car, Justin's pose changed, but then relaxed slightly.

He seemed so different compared to minutes ago when we were just having a leisurely drive. It had been a long time since I had since this side of him.

Justin made sure his gun was visible during the talk, which seemed to drag on for quite some time. When Shinobu pulled out his own gun, my breath hitched. I knew something bad was about to happen just by Justin's stance. He wasted no time, raising his firearm to Shiobu's head.

I wanted to shut my eyes, but couldn't.

Justin was forcefully yelling now, his face turning red, and I could see a prominent vein in his neck emerge. I was sure his voice was raised six decibel levels, and I was somewhat glad that I couldn't hear his rage. Shinobu either didn't care or want to waste the effort to fight him. The barrel of Justin's gun was basically pushing a hole through his head.

"What is going on?" I whispered to myself as I watched Shinobu submit to Justin, falling to his knees. He didn't look sad or scared at all, but more resigned to the fact that he was probably going to die within the next couple of seconds.

Justin took Shinobu's head roughly and pushed it forward, leaning him until his stomach was on the floor. Shinobu opened his mouth wide and placed it on the curb. It almost looked like he was trying to take a bite out of the pavement.

What happened next, I wouldn't even imagine in my worst nightmares.

Justin lifted his foot and brought it down hard on the back of Shinobu's head. I could almost hear the snap of his jaw and could his teeth shatter. It was such a simple yet violent act. I covered my mouth and jerked away from the horrible sight of blood splattered concrete.

It took me more than a minute to breathe. I just couldn't do it. I felt so sick and so terrified. I had no idea I would be attending an execution when I woke up this morning. This wasn't the first time I had seen Justin murder someone, but it was surely the most violent.

The car door opened and the smell assaulted my nose like a sickness; the Italian leather of Justin's shoe and Shinobu's blood. I kept myself on the far edge of the car, not looking at him.

"I'm going to have William take you home." Justin's voice was cold, dangerous, and unsympathetic, yet fluid and calm. The fresh kill didn't matter to him. They never did.

I tried to speak, but couldn't.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Selena." His hand rubbed mine for a quick second. "Make sure she gets back."

"Yes, sir. Of course." William nodded.

The door shut and the car engine revved as William sped away.

JUSTIN POV

"All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope."-Winston Churchill

All things Twilight related belong to Stephanie Meyer

I drove the Mercedes smoothly and steadily, letting my hands caress the steering wheel to calm my nerves. I tried to go as slow as possible, watching my surroundings pass me by. The twisted and gnarled wrought iron gates of our house were up ahead. Large C's were warped into the metal on each side, loudly announcing who lived beyond the entrances, just in case you didn't know.

The guard, who basically lived in the same spot, never moving or leaving, noticed me and the gates slowly opened. I purposefully let my foot idle over the pedal before pushing the car forward. I crept up towards the house, which stood grand and lofty, illuminated by lights on all sides. Men with guns silently crept around the grounds, patrolling and keeping my most precious items safe.

I got out of the car and didn't even bother turning it off. Someone would put it in the garage later. I was more concerned with getting inside.

With my clothes grimy and my shoes still bloody, I climbed the stairs of our elaborate stone porch and the door opened without question. Gioni was there to take my jacket, silently nodding his head in greeting.

"Where is she?" I demanded an answer with my harsh tone.

"Outside, sir."

I bit my lip as I walked through the house, letting my footsteps echo off of the walls. My heart thundered in my chest when I neared the back porch. The large, glass French doors were open, letting the warm breeze flow. It blew the drapes in a rhythmic motion that was oddly soothing.

Selena was in one of the comfortable outdoor couches, the fire pit in front of her raging with the flames lapping at the night air. Both dogs had accompanied her. Francis was curled up to her side, making soft puttering noises as he slept. Bosco's head was nestled on her lap, providing her with more comfort than I probably could at this point. A bottle of white wine was on the table near the couch, more than halfway emptied. She held a large glass in her hand.

She didn't turn when my shoes clicked on the pavement, but I knew she had heard me. The dogs both raised their heads, though they didn't move.

"Selena?" I called to her softly. She didn't answer. "Selena, please…"

Her face was stained with tears that had since dried, but it still hurt me like hell to see the red of her cheeks and the purple under her eyes. Seeing my wife cry was one of the worst pains in the world. Selena in any kind of distress was almost too much for me to bear. I hated it, and even more, I hated that this time, I had been the cause of it.

"May I sit?" I asked, my voice tentative like I was walking on glass.

"If you want." She took a sip of her wine and sniffled.

I kept to the far side of the couch, pushing myself away from Selena at all costs. I wanted to comfort her, wrap her in my arms and tell her that I was sorry, because I was. She was the only person in the world I could apologize to without feeling shamed or embarrassed, and even now, the words wouldn't come. An apology didn't seem to be good enough to right the wrong I had made her witness.

Selena didn't raise her head to look at me, but all I wanted to see was her eyes. They would tell me how much pain she was in. She ran her hand through Bosco's thick fur behind his ears. He purred at the contact, and I detested him for being so close to her and enjoying her touch.

"Selena, I never meant for you to see me like that," I began. "It was never my intention to scare you. I just wasn't thinking."

She nodded. "I understand."

That was all I got. Her tone wasn't clipped or angry. I expected more, something, anything. I needed to be yelled at and scolded like the criminal I was. Yet, she gave me nothing. It made me feel even worse.

"I told you I was a monster," I whispered. "On our first date, I warned you. I've hid it well these past years, but I slipped up tonight. I didn't want you to see that side of me."

"This isn't the first time I've seen you kill a man, Justin." She sniffled again.

"But it was always in protection. I never offensively killed anyone in front of you, and never as violently as I did just now. I am sorry for exposing you to that. I'm a monster, a sinner, " I repeated.

She didn't deny it, though I didn't expect her to.

We sat for a long while in silence, watching the cool winds whip around the trees of our expansive backyard. At some times, I think we lived on a military base with the high fences and guards and security measures. None of it made for peace and quiet, like we needed tonight.

"If you're a monster then what does that say about me?" she asked quietly. "I married you. I had children with you. Does that make me a sinner too?"

"No, Selena." I inched closer to her, but still kept some distance between us. "Don't ever say that. You're the only truly innocent part of my life. You and the kids, of course. I carry the weight of all my bad deeds. Please, don't think that way. I should have never dragged you into any of this."

She gargled out a laugh. "It's a little too late for that, Justin."

I pulled my hands through my hair, disturbing it further than it already was. I wanted to look at her before, but now I couldn't. I didn't feel worthy. I hated to feel like this because it wasn't in my nature to be so self-deprecating or regretful.

"I understand if you hate me." I shook my head in disgust.

"I don't hate you, Justin. I don't think I ever could and that's what scares me." I felt her body come closer. Feeling compressed, Bosco jumped down from the couch leaving us with little room between us.

"Scares you?"

"You don't understand how immensely you have me wrapped around your finger, and it terrifies me sometimes. I should be running for the hills, calling the police, turning you in but… that all seems wrong to me. I watched you kill a man, and I'm sitting here drinking wine like it's some garden party. What does that say about me?"

"Why are you so fucking pure?" I jumped up, suddenly angry. My voice raised several decibels. "You are the good one! Stop this nonsense."

She didn't shy away from my rage. "I know what you do is wrong, but I can't walk away. I've convinced myself that it doesn't matter."

"I've made you this way." I wanted to get on my knees and beg her for forgiveness. This wasn't right. "How could you love me after what you just saw me do?" I questioned.

"It's a sickness, Justin, and I wouldn't want it healed even I could. It's always been that way." Tears feel from her eyes and I sat down, wiping them away from my fingers. "I'm scared for myself. Charlie was right. I've changed so much and I don't think I would ever want to go back because that means I couldn't be with you. I know that sounds pathetic, but I don't care."

"No, Selena. No. You didn't have to change for me." I was trying to find a way to take this burden. "I'm so sorry."

"I even told you to kill Vienna and I felt nothing over it. I'm so screwed up in the head."

"That had nothing to do with you. You were protecting your family. It was the right thing to do."

"Really? Because it makes me a little sick thinking that I could do something so terrible."

"I gave the order Selena. It wasn't your fault."

This was when I realized that this wasn't about tonight's free kill. It was a pebble in Selena's mind compared to the boulder that rested inside her. Selena was cracking before my eyes, years of pent up emotions spilling forth in a torrent of confusion. She hated me. She loved me. She wanted and needed me, but didn't know how to accept me. She was wholesome and I was not. Our kind shouldn't mix, and yet they did. It was against nature, but I fought it for all those years, convincing myself that it would be fine.

I couldn't take any more of it and understood that I was useless at comforting her through this, so I called the only person in the world I knew who could.

"Justin, what happened?" Esme bounced up the stairs to greet me at the door. "Is everything alright? Is it the babies?"

"No, it's Selena." I bowed my head. "I don't know what to do. She saw something tonight that she shouldn't have and I think I've scared her into some kind of shock."

She pulled off her coat and handed it to me. "Where is she?"

"Out back." I pointed.

Esme took off, her feet making soft noises in the foyer.

I left them alone for half an hour. I didn't know how they felt about each other on a superficial level, but I knew that my mother loved Selena like her own daughter. She and Carlisle had been back for three months now, and we hadn't exchanged more than ten words. It was breaking our family apart, and as much as I hated my father, I realized that I needed to make a change. Maybe I could start with Esme.

After calming myself down, I went out to them.

Selena was wrapped in a blanket, her face still covered in tears. Esme was so loving with her touches, caring for her wounded child.

I sat as far away as I could, in a chair across the porch behind them, but still in hearing distance. I don't think they noticed me.

"You were so young and it's hard, I understand that." Esme patted Selena's back. "It's difficult to wrap your mind around things like this at eighteen. Even now, you're too young to be dealing with the things that you do."

"I try to stay strong. You did. Rose and Alice do. But watching him… like that, but still loving him…"

"Justin was wrong, not you. You should never have seen him in that way."

"I'm a cop's daughter and I sleep next to a man who kills people." She wiped her face. "And I'm okay with it. That's what confuses me."

"Would you ever leave him?" Esme asked seriously.

Selena raised her head, offended. "What? Of course not!"

I sent up a soundless prayer of thanks to whatever God was keeping her here.

"You're loyal and you care for him beyond belief. That's why you're still here, Selena. Our men do what they do out of tradition, honor, pride. But we stay because of love. It makes us powerless and powerful at the same time. I don't know how to explain it."

"You don't have to. I understand completely."

"That's why I never left Carlisle. I was so mad at him after I found out Justin was alive, unbelievably mad. I didn't speak to him for weeks, but I realized that leaving would do so much damage to both of us. We went away because we had to in order to save our marriage. We traveled and got to know each other again. It had been too long."

"I don't blame you for leaving when you did."

"Even after all these years, I love him to a point that I shouldn't. It's not healthy. That's what I think you're starting to understand."

"I must sound like such a wimp."

"No, Selena. I was surprised you even stayed around after you learned about us. And when you did, I knew you were the one for him."

Selena nodded, seemingly better.

Esme continued, "The love was already there, you just needed the acceptance. We convince ourselves that our husbands do good deeds when they really don't. Stop trying to trick your brain because I can tell you right now it will never work. Justin is a bad man who does bad things, but at home, with you and those babies, he's the sweetest, most caring person alive."

"You're right," Selena choked out.

"I know you've seen The Godfather, everyone has." My mother chuckled, "People think that we live our lives like that movie, but we really don't. It's not a movie. This is very, very real and I'm sorry you are hurting because of it."

"I guess I just wasn't prepared."

"Did he tell you exactly why he killed that man? Sometimes if helps if you understand the reason." Esme explained.

"Something about a hit list. Justin's…ambitious, as you know. He's getting rid of everyone who poses any kind of threat."

"He gets that from Nicola."

"He's being so irresponsible. How long does he think he can keep this up before it's his ass on the curb? What does he expect me to do then?"

"Tonight was his fault. He should have never mixed his two sides. But this wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. There will be unspeakable acts of violence that your husband will commit, and you have to know that he would never be that way with you. It's what's required of him."

"He calls himself a monster."

"They all do. But you need to support him and care for him, because he won't get it anywhere else. Justin didn't choose you so much as he needed you in his life. You calm him and make him a better person. You might not be able to see it, but I can. All my boys are stronger because of the women in their lives. It's what we do."

Selena let out a long exhale, still not noticing me behind them. She was processing all this information without a pained expression ever crossing her face.

"And… I'm sorry." Esme dropped her head.

"You're sorry?"

"For what I said to you at Nicola's funeral. I'm so incredibly sorry. I know you hate me for it but... in the heat of the moment, I was overwhelmed and shocked. You never deserved to lose that baby."

"I forgave you a long time ago, but it still hurt."

"I know it did and you don't know how many sleepless nights I endured, trying to think of a way to apologize. After being back here for all these months, I realize that I'm not half the woman you are."

"Esme, you're being ridiculous."

"No, Selena, I'm not. I thought I was a good mother, and I pride myself on having raised my boys well, but everything I've done, you've done it ten times better. This life was thrust upon you so quickly. I was born into it; it's different. You had to adapt and lead this family in my absences. Carlisle and I are so proud of you and Justin. Even if you two hate us."

"We don't hate you."

"It's okay." Esme patted Selena's knee. "I would hate me too. I abandoned my family when they needed me most, but you kept them going."

"No," she protested.

"You know what I did when we got back? I asked Alec if he wanted to live with us again." Esme's lips went up slightly into a smile. "I could tell he would say no, but I had to ask. We might have adopted him, but he thinks of you and Justin as his parents. You raised him, not me. You're an amazing mother, and an amazing wife. Our family owes so much to you because you keep Justin going."

Selena didn't reply. She knew it was true. I knew it was true. All of Chicago knew it was true. I would be nothing without that woman.

"I used to be the queen of this city, but not anymore. I'm okay with that because I've passed the crown to a wonderful person." Esme hugged Selena so tightly, I thought her eyes might pop out. Selena immediately clung to my mother, holding her close.

"Thank you," she whispered.

It was so quiet outside, that the cry of a baby from upstairs reached our ears without a problem. My first reaction was to jump up and attend to my children, but I didn't want to move from my spot. I didn't want to leave Selena.

Selena pulled away. "You still haven't seen them yet, have you?"

Esme shook her head, embarrassed. "Justin doesn't want us to. I understand."

"Would you like to now?"

I think Esme might have exploded if she could. "Really?"

Selena nodded, her eyes finding mine. "Yeah, I'm sure they would want to finally meet you."

Esme gasped in short breaths before getting up and turning to walk back into the house. When she spotted me, her face fell. She whispered to me. "Justin get your shit together. It's causing your wife pain and I won't have it. Do you understand me?"

I chuckled lowly. Even after all these months away, she was still my mother. "Yes, ma'am."

She hugged me fiercely. "We'll talk later, but thank you for calling me. It means the world."

"Go up and see the babies." I rubbed her back.

Esme nearly shot out of sight.

It took me a minute or so to get up the courage to move closer to Selena. I hesitantly sat next to her. She smiled and melted into my arms, her head resting against my chest. I nearly drowned my nose in her hair, trying to savor our closeness.

"You're not a monster," she said adamantly. "You're my husband."

"I'm both and I'm sorry for it." I kissed her forehead. "But I love you. Beyond all the blood and anger that I have for the world, I love you. Don't doubt it."

"I never have." She cuddled closer to me.

We spent the night on the porch, wrapped in the blanket while the fire kept going strong.

A week later, I was sitting in a dark corner of a Thai restaurant, trying not to gag on the atrocious and offensive smells coming from the table next to me. I hated Thai food, but this was one of Carlisle's favorite places, so I conceded. It was as much of an olive branch as he was getting at the moment.

I took large gulps of my water, swishing it around in my mouth and tapped my fingers on the table. I stupidly arrived half an hour early and didn't have anything else to do, but wait. It was torture because it left me with time to go over my main speeches that I had planned for this meeting.

With the reconciliation of Esme and Selena, I felt it was time to have a manly talk with my father. It had been too long, and if they could do it then so could I, even if that forced me to be the more mature of us. That being said, if Carlisle crossed me, I wouldn't hesitate to lay down the law. He wasn't in charge anymore, and this was my city now. He needed to understand that.

He strode across the room, smartly dressed in one of his better suits and actually greeted me with a smile. I stood and buttoned my jacket. I hated to admit it, but even though I was a man in my own right, Carlisle was the man. The fucking clouds parted for him, and he had a level of control that came with time.

We shook hands before he pulled me into an unsuspecting hug. "Justin, my boy."

Either he was purposefully oblivious of the tension in our family, or he was choosing not to acknowledge it.

"Dad, it's nice to see you as well," I ground out, trying not to be repulsed by his hands on me.

"Sit, sit. We have a lot to talk about." He unbuttoned his coat and took a seat. I did the same. "This is the first time in a long time that we've been in the same room. Last I saw you, you were kicking me off of your front step."

"Yes, well, that was under different circumstances." I suddenly felt oppressed and suffocated in this little restaurant. "Let's start with you. Where exactly have you been?"

"Everywhere," he sighed. "You mother and I, as you could have probably guessed, needed a lot of work after everything was revealed. We went on spiritual trips in Tibet and China, volunteer excursions in Israel, and a rather odd archeological dig in Venezuela. It was a lot, but we spent every day together. It saved our marriage."

"I've never seen you so… animated." I looked him up and down. He was changed.

"I can't explain it. I feel so weightless these days. I have a lot to look forward to in retirement that I didn't even consider possibilities before."

"Yeah, that happens when you leave your son to do your dirty work."

Carlisle nodded. "You're angry with me."

"Is that a question?"

"No, it was a declarative statement."

"Hell yes, I'm mad at you!"

"Justin, watch your tone," he said seriously. "I never meant to leave you in a lurch. I thought you could handle things. I set everything up so that there would be as little problems as possible."

"It's not even that you left. I was expecting that, but to not leave any contact information? That's what pissed me off. Do you know how often I wanted to call you and just pick your brain? I made a mess of things for a while because of my stupidity…"

He interrupted me, "Oh, I know. Justin, why did you think I left you behind with no way of contacting me? Because it made you a better man; that's why. A better leader. If I was on your ass every five minutes, you would have ruled this city like I did. That's not what our family needed. You needed to make your mark."

Damn him for always being right.

"That doesn't make me feel any better." I rolled my eyes.

"It wasn't meant to. I never meant to leave to make you feel bad. Emmett could contact me if need be. If things ever got too bad. But you handled yourself well. I'm very proud of you."

"Well… thank you," I said strangely.

"And I am sorry for any troubles I caused." He really did seem regretful.

We stayed silent for a few minutes.

"I know you're still mad at me, but I am your father and I miss my family," Carlisle sighed. "Can you forgive me?"

"No," I snapped, "I don't forgive easily."

"Your grandfather taught you that."

"Fortunately for you, my wife is far more accommodating."

"Thank God or you wouldn't be here," he shot back. "Selena is one of the most courageous women I know and to put up with our shit… She's strong."

"That she is."

"I heard you had an incident last week. How is that going?"

"It's none of your concern." I shut him down once again.

Selena had bounced back extremely well. I had shown her a side of me that was too frightening, but she was handling it in her own way. She was hesitant, of course, although she hid it well. Selena was built for this life and told me as such. She just said it was shocking for her to see me in that way. I couldn't blame her.

"I understand," my father said. "It will take time to rebuild our relationship, but I'm glad we're meeting. That's the first step. A monk in Mongolia told me…"

I tuned him out because I was in no mode to hear his philosophical teachings of wisdom. I was over it for the night. We didn't discuss "the book" because he already knew how I felt about it. The thing was obscene and supposedly a history of our family. Anyone could read our dirty secrets and pick us apart. What if they made it into a movie? No one would be able to stomach that shit on screen. That thing would never be published as long as I was alive and Carlisle wouldn't dare try.

Awhile later, we moved onto more pressing matters.

"I see you haven't appointed a Consigliore." Carlisle said casually, even though his statement was anything but.

Consigliore: my right hand man, confidante, main advisor…

"I didn't think one was necessary."

"Oh? You plan on running our entire mafia operations by yourself?" He chuckled to himself.

"I have brothers. It's different if I was alone. They help out more than any one person could."

"Yes, but they need a chain of command."

"Maybe that's how you ran things, but I don't."

"But you should." He leaned in, "I'm trying to help, Justin. Please don't shut me out right now. I want you to succeed and you need help."

I thought for a long minute. He was right, but this was a decision I couldn't afford to make a wrong move with.

"I could…talk to Alec about it." I said quietly.

"I thought you would say that." Carlisle replied, not giving me any of his opinions or views.

Surprisingly, I found that I wanted to hear them.

Half an hour later, I wrapped up dinner. I couldn't take much more. My father paid and I stood outside, smoking, waiting for my car to be brought around by a valet.

"Justin, what are you up to tonight?" Carlisle asked me.

"Just some family business."

"Really?" His interest was piqued.

I bit my tongue for a second, choosing my words carefully. "It's a… planned execution, type thing."

"Sounds wonderful. Mind if I tag along?"

I suppressed my groan, but didn't answer. I really just wanted to get away from him right now. Too much Carlisle in such a short amount of time was not healthy.

"Come on," he nudged my shoulder, "give your old dad some fun."

"Fine," I growled.

Someone brought my Mercedes around, and I dropped a tip into his hand as he held the door open for me. I sunk into the seat, Carlisle getting in as well. I took off, faster than usual, but I had places to be.

"Justin, why are you speeding?" My father asked as I took sharp turns and evaded traffic. "Goodness, I know I taught you better than this."

"I've always driven this way. I like speed."

"Well, slow down. You're going to hurt someone."

"You can't tell me how to drive." I got defensive. "I'm a thirty year old man. I can drive how I want."

"This is ridiculous." Carlisle's face blanched. I was getting an odd sense of satisfaction watching him squirm. He was never one for fast cars. He was always more into just looking at them.

"Just sit back and stop worrying." I pushed the vehicle faster.

We reached our destination quickly, and I let up on the pedal as I reached the gates of a regular storage facility. It had rows upon rows of storage units that people could rent out to dump their stuff. It was all forgotten over the years, but as long as the monthly bill was paid, no questions were asked.

I put in the simple six digit code—my birthday—to enter the gates and drove quietly through the deserted alleyways.

"So, what exactly are we doing here?" Carlisle asked me.

"I have someone that needs to be disposed of," I answered simply.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with that hit list I keep hearing about, would it?"

"Who told you?" I swerved slightly.

"Alec."

"Of course," I grumbled.

"I think the idea is wonderful, if not overzealous and completely obsessive, but it should work well for you. You're insane enough to actually take everyone out before they catch you."

"I'm almost done. Just a few more names to go."

"You've always been extraordinarily gifted when it comes to this kind of thing."

I stopped in front of one of the smaller units. It was at the end of a row on the corner and pretty much the most secluded one I could rent. I shut the car off and got out with Carlisle following me to the door. The lock was simple and easily breakable, but if anyone wanted to rob me, they would be in for quite a shock once they opened it up.

The lock fell from the latch, and I lifted the door above my head.

There wasn't a light in the container, but the moon was bright enough to see inside.

The smell hit me first. It was putrid and rancid, all wrapped in a reek of overbearing filth. A man with pale skin and shaggy dark hair was resting in a wooden chair. Silver duct tape covered his mouth and his body was sunken in, the wasteful product of malnutrition and dehydration. He was naked and sitting in his own stench. I think this was day thirty of his imprisonment.

"Well, well, a Mangicavalo." Carlisle walked closer. "Impressive."

"The youngest son, Adriano. The father and oldest two are already dead. Everyone thinks they went back to Italy."

The man tried to raise his head, but didn't have enough strength to hold it up. His eyes were red, puffy, and jaundiced. He looked rather disgusting.

"He needs to be gone tonight." I shut the door behind me, enveloping us in darkness. The smell intensified. I took a handkerchief from my pocket, covering my mouth and nose, trying to dilute the odor a little.

I used the light from my cellphone to illuminate the area.

Carlisle was staring at him, inspecting his face and smirking superiorly. "I like this one. He's feisty."

"He's exhausted. He wants to die." I kicked the chair over. Adriano fell to the floor, his hands and feet bound, sloshing around in his own filth.

I withdrew my gun, prepared to kill, but Carlisle stopped me. "May I?"

"Oh, sure." I hesitantly pulled away. "If you'd like."

Withdrawing an even bigger gun, Carlisle hunched low over his victim.

It had been awhile since I'd seen my father in action and a familiar, cold tingle ran over my body. This man could make you bow with just one look. It was such a contrast, seeing him like this, compared to an hour ago when we were discussing the weather over grilled chicken eggrolls and spicy shrimp soup. He could turn his ruthlessness on and off like a light switch; a talent I had yet to master.

Carlisle ripped the tape from Adriano's mouth, taking along with it flakes of dried skin and blood. The area around his lips was raw with redness and irritation. Adriano was fed once every other day and kept in this storage unit for a month, for no other reason than for me to gain some sick pleasure from extracting every ounce of humanity left from him.

He writhed and yelled obscenities to the high heavens, begging for someone to hear him, pleading for a savior.

Carlisle shoved the barrel of his High Standard 22LR pistol sound suppressor deep into Adriano's mouth. He gaged and choked, but Carlisle pushed deeper, effectively gagging the man.

His kill was silent and excruciatingly gory. The shot was muffled and sounded like a soft thump into a pillow, but the bloody scene was far from relaxing. The back half of Adriano's head shot off and left a giant cavity. Brain matter, blood, muscle tissue and bone flew in different directions, coating the walls like a sadistic Jackson Pollack painting. It was oddly… beautiful.

I admired my father's handiwork as I swept my cellphone across the scene, letting the light travel into every nook and cranny.

"Simple and easy, like it was back in my day." Carlisle stood up, wiping his hands on his pants.

And that was that. Another member of my hit list down for the count.

The dogs followed me as I bound up the stairs, their clawed feet making noises on the hardwood as they raced me. I began pulling off bloody and soiled clothes as I went further down the hall, but I stayed quiet since the house was dark and silent.

The lights in my room were off, so I crept to the bathroom and jumped into a hot shower, cleansing my body from the filthy killing of the night. The scalding water beat on my skin and turned my flesh red. The steam enveloped the bathroom, almost suffocating me, but I welcomed it.

I got out of the shower and dried off minimally, shaking the water from my hair was I walked back into the room. I pulled on boxers and nothing else.

Selena was softly sleeping in bed, and the moon, which once brightened such a graphic, horrible scene earlier in the night, shone on her. I couldn't think of a better vision to come home to.

Selena liked to sleep in slouchy clothes; things of mine that she could move around in, but tonight, I was treated to something different. She was in some kind of black, lace lingerie. She was lying face down, the sheets of the bed wrapped around her legs, and since it was a rather warm night, she didn't find the need for a blanket, thank God.

The panties were sheer and skimpy, covering just enough of her perfect ass to entice, but still keep me guessing. The top was tight, fitted and lacey as well. It had straps that were falling from her shoulders, and a sliver of skin around her midriff was driving me insane.

I bit on my knuckles to quiet my lascivious and wanton noises.

I started at her calves, kissing and savoring each inch of silken flesh. She stirred slightly and moaned my name.

"Is that you?" she asked.

"No, it's some other man, sneaking into your bed at night." I continued up higher, to her thighs.

"Oh, well don't tell my husband." She giggled as my breath created gooseflesh on her body. "He can be an animal when he's jealous."

I growled.

Since the pregnancy, Selena had naturally gained some weight. I had convinced her not to lose it all, even though she was determined to get back to normal. She was naturally skinny and probably always would be, but she carried the few extra pounds nicely. I liked it a lot better that way. She was firm in all the right places and voluptuous in others. So tantalizing.

"I was waiting up for you. Sorry I fell asleep." Selena came alive, but didn't turn over. Pressing herself deeper into our mattress.

"This is such a nice surprise." I reached her ass, biting softly.

"I take it you like the clothes I bought today." Selena gasped with surprise as I smacked her cheek, causing a red mark.

"Why do you wear such things? You know I'm just going to rip them away from your body. They are a waste of money."

"Completely pointless?"

"I didn't say that."

"I thought it might be nice for a change."

"To tempt me further into wanting you? I thought it was impossible, but you keep surprising me."

"Maybe," she sighed, rolling over and opening her legs so that my head fit between them.

I kissed her inner thighs. My feather-light tough, making her wriggle and fidget above me. She bit her lip, running her hands through my wet hair and tugging, pulling me higher until I reached her lace covered center.

"You smell… so good," I rumbled through my chest.

This had the making of such a great night, but unfortunately, the babies had other plans.

"Damn," I nearly cried my own tears when I heard the wail from down the hall.

"One of them probably just needs a change." Selena sat up quickly.

The mood had passed, and I watched her jump out of bed, the lingerie forgotten as she put on a damned robe before running out of the room.

That night, after the babies had been settled, our lovemaking was slow and tender. I worshiped Selena's body until I had no more to give. When we were done, she tried to put on a shirt, but I wouldn't allow it. I pulled her close to my body, feeling her naked skin against mine, and let her sleep against me.

I couldn't shut my eyes and decided to forgo resting. I didn't even try. My brain just didn't want to shut down.

Sometime around four in the morning, I rolled out of bed, disentangling myself from Selena, and paced around the room for a bit. I was antsy, and for no particular reason other than the fact that I needed to move around. I didn't feel settled. I decided to do something productive.

I pulled the double doors of our closet open and looked around, thinking about re-organizing my ties. This was a process that would take me at least a couple of hours since I had so many. Once I was inside, though, I was shocked. It had been too long since I actually looked at our closet.

"This place is a mess," I said to myself.

I began with my half of the closet, pulling everything off of the racks, shelves, and hangers. I refolded hundreds of undershirts and re-balled socks, dress and casual, alike. I spent an hour polishing my shoes with an old rag. That took up the bulk of my time since my shoe collection was…extensive, to say the least.

I redid all the drawers, switching certain sections around. I had never liked my workout clothes in the bottom drawers, but Katy Nana insisted on it. I finally placed them on a top shelf where I could see them better. I then moved on to my suits, which I packaged up to be sent away for dry cleaning. All of them.

Most of the brands were Armani and Calvin Klein, the makings of a well-dressed man. I had tried out different things at some point, but didn't particularly like the fit or the colors or the fabrics. It was best to stick with what I knew.

Once I was done, sometime around seven, my side of the closet was spotless. I was very impressed with my work until I turned around and my face fell as I looked at Selena's mishap of clothes.

I nodded in determination as I got back to work.

By this time, the dogs were up and lying on the floor to watch me. It was a wonder what one week in dog training could do; Bosco actually listened to me when I told him to sit in the corner while I rearranged Selena's shoes. He wanted to bite the hell out of them. I could tell. But he stayed restrained.

Selena had more clothes than I did. I don't know how that happened, but her shelves were overflowing. The problem was that Selena didn't believe in organizing. She would hang things up wherever she was at the moment. I had to fix that. I pulled everything down, replacing it as I saw fit. She had hundreds of dresses that I sorted by color. I moved onto her shoes, categorized by heel height, and then alphabetically.

Armani, Burberry, Chanel, Christian Louboutin, Dona Karen, Jimmy Choo…

She had flats, boots, sneakers, and sandals, which I kept on the bottom rack of the closet. It always amused me when Selena wore anything with a heel. Not only was she so damned sexy in them, but she stayed upright, which was something I would have never seen five years ago.

Then came the handbags and purses, once again, done alphabetically.

Alexander McQueen, Bottega Veneta, Diane Von Furstenburg, Fendi, Gucci, Hermes…

I chuckled to myself, just thinking about exactly how much I had spent on her wardrobe in the past year or so. I probably didn't want to know.

I was on my hands and knees, going through her sleeping wear when I came across a simple blue and red plaid shirt. I held it in my hands, feeling the scratchy fabric. I remembered this shirt.

When I first met Selena, she used to always dress in plaid, a product of her Northwestern upbringing. They would always be too big on her, but she didn't care. It was endearing and confusing at the same time. Back then, I didn't understand it. Why would I ever be attracted to a girl who thought that plaid was a fashion statement? But Selena was different. Her fabric was abrasive, mine was soft. She had clothing that was outdated since 1980, mine was overly fashionable. She was plaid; I was silk. We should have never mixed, and somehow we did. But even then, I knew she was "the one". I couldn't help myself.

These thoughts seemed redundant to me since they had been rolling through my head since last week. I had tried to warn her to stay away, but she latched onto me and promised to never let go. That's why I loved her so much and always would.

"You're starting to sound crazy." I shook my head.

I stood up and decided to keep the plaid for myself. I neatly folded it and placed the shirt in one of my drawers, secretly hidden under a stack of freshly pressed light blue underwear.

"Justin, what are you doing?" Selena stumbled into the closet. Her sex hair was so glorious in the morning and she was pulling on the same lingerie that I swore I shredded last night, but somehow survived.

"I'm spring cleaning," I answered, making sure to shut the drawer with her plaid shirt in it. She wasn't getting that back.

Selena looked around, her face filled with confusion. "What happened to all of my clothes?"

"I organized them. Don't you like it?"

"Sure." Her brow furrowed as she ran her hands along her coats and jackets.

"I couldn't sleep, so I decided to get this done while I had the energy," I explained.

The dogs ran to Selena, licking at her legs. She pet them eagerly. "Well, that's good, I guess. I hope you weren't up all night with this."

"No, not at all. It was rather quick, actually."

She tripped over a pile on the floor. "Justin, what are my dresses doing down here." She picked one up.

"That's the stuff I'm throwing out."

"Throwing out?" Her voice went up an octave.

"Yes," I answered with finality. "Those dressed are too short for you. You can't wear that stuff."

"Says who? And they are not too short."

"That thing barely covers your ass," I argued.

"You're exaggerating. I'm not throwing any of them out. I happen to like these dresses. They're for summer BBQs and girl's night out." She started to hastily pick them up.

"Selena, I'm not fighting you on this. Leave them on the floor so Katy Nana came get rid of them."

"You never seemed to have a problem before with my dresses. As I recall, you like my legs."

"Don't patronize me. Your legs are for me. Not everyone else." I wrapped her in my arms.

"They aren't that short, Justin." She sighed. "Can we compromise?"

"No," I said immediately then amended my answer when she glared at me. "Maybe."

We agreed on throwing out all dresses that didn't come to at least three inches above the knee, but I think she tricked me because Selena only had about two of those. I measured. I ground my teeth together as I watched her hang them back up, just thinking about all the filthy men I would have to fight when we walked down the street or when she would visit me at my office.

"I still don't like this." I stood against the opposite wall and crossed my arms.

"You'll be fine." She rose on her toes to kiss me. "Come help me with the babies."

We left the closet, my mind finally free from clothing, and went to the nursery. It had been repainted recently, a six-month birthday gift to the babies. The pastel colors had been covered over with fantastic scenes from Mother Goose stories. I didn't know any of them personally, but they looked kind of calming and playful.

Roman was up and giggling when I picked him up.

"Hey, buddy." I bounced him in my arms. "You look so happy today. What's going on?"

He reached for my face, patting my checks with his chubby hands.

"He recognizes you." Selena lifted up Sophia.

"Of course he does."

As I looked at the picture before me, I never thought I would get to a place like this. I had a wife, two kids, dogs, and a stable life. And to tell you the truth, I wouldn't have it any other way. What the hell happened to me?

I chuckled to myself, kissing the top of Roman's head.

"What's wrong?" Selena asked me.

"Absolutely nothing."

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