#The problem being Dog isn't named Dog anymore and also has no memory of being them.

[microraptorreactor]

Constantly torn between the fact that I want to yell about my Destiny OCs and the fact that they are tied to a written work now. Like before I can post about Dogteeth I need to get anything about Dogteeth postable. THe writer's curse.

[thedancingcrab]

This week marks mental health awareness week. I don't know how much a social media post really does.. Maybe nothing at all. But I'd like to start this off in saying that I've become a lot more confident in my body since I let myself gain weight instead of holding onto the idea that I should always be slim to be considered attractive. And let me tell you why.

This past year and probably years and years before that I've had to put so much time and energy into healing. It's been one of the most exhausting processes but also so rewarding at the same time. Because I can tell you this whole heartedly. I now like myself. No. I love myself. I love everything that I am and what I've become. But this wasn't an overnight process. It's been painful, I've had to confront a lot of my wrong doings, mistakes and negative thoughts about myself to get to where I am now. I had to find hobbies. I had to pour my energy into other things than myself. Because honestly. When you die, no one's gonna think about how beautiful you were. They might say it, but they will focus on how you were beautiful in other ways. Maybe how you lit up the room with your smile. How you were so positive and how much they miss your energy.

A hobby I've found in this past year is cycling and going hiking and it's done wonders for my mental health. Because I started worrying less about what my body looks like and more what it can actually do for me. I have legs that allow me to walk up mountains. Not everyone is that lucky. I live somewhere where I get to see some of the most beautiful sights in the world (Wales isn't a shithole trust me there really is incredible places). We hardly ever criticise how nature looks so why do we do it to ourselves? Another thing I've noticed as well is that the only person who really says bad things about my appearance..is me. Nobody really cares. People are so focused on themselves and what they're doing. I used to get told I was ugly in school all the time. Even by girls who were supposed to be my friends. But I refuse to carry the weight of those opinions with me around anymore. Maybe I didn't look the best in school, but it wasn't my focus. I was quirky and I owned that. But I didnt have the self awareness back then that I do now. And the weight of those opinions got on top of me so much, until they became a problem and I found myself with an eating disorder and I stopped eating and increasing the amount of makeup I wore cause I thought that was what happiness felt like. Skinny, glamorous. It didn't get any better.

I convinced myself I was happy whilst I ate sugar free jelly and low calorie ice cream. But it was hell and I'm so glad I know what real ice cream tastes like now. As for my face, it's nice to let it breathe every now and then as well. I'm beautiful with no makeup on and I'm beautiful if I want to wear it. But I don't always feel that way. I still have bad days and there's still that voice somewhere that tells me I'm out of shape and should maybe increase my exercise and eat a bit better. It will probably always be there. When you've struggled with your body perception for years I'm not sure it ever quite goes away. But I also recognise when those thoughts come up now and it's easier to flick them away. Cause I know there is so much more to me than how I look and I get so sad when others don't have that awareness too cause I've been there and I know what it's like to have your appearance consume your mind day in and day out. I think all the women I've compared myself to over the years are dealing with the same thing. Maybe when I was comparing myself to the girl that had the body type I wanted and the face I'd love to have she was also dealing with the same battles of her own. The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is the previous version of ourselves and how much we've grown or will continue to grow. We don't know what others are dealing with at the end of the day. And just because someone looks like you want to look doesn't mean they're better than you in any way shape or form. You don't need to be pretty like somebody else you need to be pretty like you. Cause nothing compares to that. If there's anyone else that I know who is still battling with what feels like a never ending hell of not loving yourself.. Here's some tips I've learned along the way that really help me.

- Try to stop mirror checking. I say try, because I still do now and it's a work in progress. When you find yourself doing it, create some distractions. Think about other things you have to do. I guarantee your washing basket needs sorting out right now. I can guarantee something in your room or anywhere else needs tidying and fixing. Go and sort it. We can't change our bodies in an instant, but we can sort out those mundane tasks we keep putting off and it's way more fulfilling when you do one of those tasks. Trust me I have plenty...

- The next time you go outside, look around at people. Is anyone really focusing on you? Probably not. They're probably focused on themselves. Or their dog if they're out walking them (I'm also trying to focus less on myself and the cute dogs I get to see when I'm out). Another thing.. Acknowledge what you're doing in that moment. We get to use our legs, our legs are allowing us to walk and see daylight. Not everyone is that lucky as I mentioned before. Okay maybe my legs weren't as skinny as they used to be but seriously who cares. There are so many other things I can be focusing on right now and you can too.

- Again another work in progress but seriously I'm working on it and it's getting better. When people compliment you, stop trying to find reasons on why they're wrong. Because if they turned around one day and told you everything you say to yourself on a daily basis it would break your heart. Trust me it would. But the people who love you don't think those things and they never will. Because if you asked them what they like about you the most your appearance won't be one of them. Maybe your partner will say something jokey and sweet about it. But trust me, it's not what they love about you the most. Other things are far more important. And they probably love you because you make their life so much more bearable in some form. We all have our own problems. Think about how much you add to that person's life when they're facing struggles of their own. I guarantee, you will be able to find at least one thing.

- No food is a bad food. We can all have too much of something but that goes for every kind of food. And exercise is amazing for our mental health but it doesn't mean we have to over indulge in it just because we ate 'bad' for a few days and now we feel guilty. Be kind to yourself in those moments. Once again it's another work in progress for me too. I pretty much eat whatever I want when I want now. But there's still that voice in my head. They're a bit annoying at this point I don't know whether I should give her a name.. Maybe Ursula cause she was my least favourite Disney villian. Ursula just needs to piss off sometimes. I went through years of restricting myself and I don't wanna do it anymore.

- Let people take pictures of you. I know. Its terrifying. I still hate it now. But one day all people will have of you is a memory and that picture you hate of yourself so much might be their favourite. In this day and age all we ever get exposed to is picture perfect filtered people who probably shaved off half of their thigh with some editing programme like face tune or whatever it's called. Then someone takes a normal picture of us and we zoom in on it and start criticising ourselves from our face all the way down to our toes. We start asking people to put a filter on us before they take the picture because anything is better than being confronted with our real selves. I just don't wanna live in a world like that anymore. I'm still guilty of doing it myself from time to time, but the less people do it the better. I'd love to start being more of an advocate for that.

When you put your phone down and get into the real world and it's something I've started making more of a cautious effort to do lately, everyone just looks normal!! Everyone has textured skin, everyone's got pores, people have oil, people have spots, people have dry skin. Maybe some are better at hiding it than others. But it's just skin. Thats literally it. Social media has warped our brains into thinking we're not good enough cause we don't look like the person who's completely cellulite, pore and acne free in their gym gear living their best life. But in all honesty, they probably don't look like that either. I'm not saying people can't, but the tiniest bit of editing can go into a photo and we think it's realistic. And they're probably insecure about something as well. Don't compare yourself to images that aren't real life. I know it's hard. Once again I still do it myself. But we can make a cautious effort to realise when we're doing these things and implement little changes on how to stop.

If you got this far and read all of this, then thank you. It means the world. I hope I was able to maybe get you to think about life in a different way and maybe.. Just maybe more positively. If not then thank you for reading anyway! I hope we can all stop being so unkind to ourselves one day. 💚

[moistlasersguns-blog]

B(w)ITCH - Dan Avidan x Reader PART 1

Prompt: "well this isn't where I wanted to teleport, sorry for appearing in your bed at 2 am."

Explanation: Magic shit is going on.

Roles:

Witch = Reader

Owner of bed, and best friend = Danny

Notes:

*Found online, rip

**also onilne lmao kms

***Pronounced Vay-Duh

extra:

(r/name) = random name

____________________________________________________

"Are you ready to record?" I asked, glanced at the two males I sat between.

Guest Grumps.

I was decent friends with Arin and really good friends with Dan, but because I'm a lead actress in a popular TV show of my own called 'Pots and Pans'*, I didn't see them as much as I wished I could. The show is about a stoner and a pansexual person living together as roommates and dealing with life's bullshit while also not owning pots or pans.

The show was taken really well with LGBT+ youth and of course, stoners, which gave it most of the popularity it now has.

I had been friends with the Grumps for a while since we got to know each other a few years back.

So, they thought that maybe it was time that I made an appearance on Guest Grumps, which I had been waiting forever to do.

And there we were, Arin began the episode while murmuring to me;

"You're fucking funny, so don't force anything, they'll love you." then he coughed, "Welcome!"

"Heyyyyyyyyy!!!" Danny happily exclaimed, "welcome back to Game Grumps, but it's a special Guest Grumps this time!"

Arin nodded, even though there wasn't a camera, and no one would see, "That's right, because today, we are playing Super Smash Bros."

I laughed and elbowed him, "Hey!"

"Oh!" he joked, "and (Name) (l/name) is here too!"

"Yay!" Dan laughed, fiddling with his controller.

"So, (name) while we set up, tell everyone what you do," Arin said, clicking buttons to get to the brawl screen.

"Well," I began, "I'm like a part-time Grump now, and by part-time I mean one time, and a full-time asshole so that's pretty cool."

Dan let out a quick laugh, "Nah, for real."

"Yeah but I um.. I'm in the show 'Pots and Pans' I play the latter, (r/name) as the witty Pansexual who can make weed brownies for her stoner roommate." I laughed, "But that shit doesn't matter I wanna play some fucking Smash Bros."

"Wow, woah, okay jeez." Arin huffed, handing off a controller to me (he hadn't done this before because he was attempting to tease me, knowing I wouldn't be able to reach across him to get it).

I smiled, hoping the next half hour or so would be as fun as these two promised.

━━━━✶━━━━

"Okay, so I've always wanted to ask this, and now that we're being recorded I thought that this was the best time," Arin said while being destroyed by my skill in-game.

"Yeah?" I asked, "what is it?"

"I've known you for a while, so has Dan, and we see clips all the time but... First off, why can you fight so well?"

I raised my brow, attention not leaving my character, "Um, I have older brothers. And like, neither of them were typical brothers. One was captain of the chess team and the other, with high heels and makeup on, started a riot about rights at the school. I've always had to know how to beat up people bigger than me since the beginning."**

Dan and Arin both turned to me, "Are you serious?"  "Really?"

I nodded.

Arin shrugged and turned back to the game, "Okay, another thing we just recently witnessed is; A bit ago, you were talking to Ross and he said something to piss you off-- jokingly of course--"

Dan, knowing where this story was going, laughed at the thought. I joined in.

"He like, ran away a bit, and you flipped him off, then he immediately tripped and fell flat on his face. what kind of magic shit have you got going for you, because I want some."

"Yeah," Dan agreed, "I could've used that power all of Guild Grumps."

"Fuck Ross," I said, laughing.

"Yeah, fuck Ross." Arin agreed.

"Oh! Also, what the fuck is up with your amazing ability to speak other fucking languages? Like you can just learn that shit?!" Dan brought this up this time.

The themes of these little things were making me sweat, they all had to do with my secret, but I thought I was playing it cool.

"I don't know, I have a good memory."

"Say something to us in another language." Arin mused.

"Uh... Here, I'll do German." I prayed for my necklace, "Fassen Sie mich nicht an!"

There was a bit of silence.

"That means 'don't touch me.'"

They began laughing, "what," Dan wheezed, "are you afraid of being fucking raped by a German person on the daily?"

"Nein!" I laughed, "But like, my favourite thing about German is that like, when you know what the fuck you're doing, like 'step back I've done this shit before', you say; 'Da liegt der Hund begraben.' which means 'that's where the dog is buried.'"

I paused, because the two were busy laughing, "So like, there's a serious fucking thing going on and you know all about that situation you just scream; 'THAT'S WHERE THE FUCKING DOG IS BURIED.'"

"But, German is a truly beautiful language filled with the love of pigs."

"What?"

━━━━✶━━━━

The recording session ended a while ago, so Dan, Arin, and I took a seat in the office somewhere to talk about shit.

"So, (Name), you travel a whole lot, do you feel like you maybe wanna get me a nice little souvenir?" Dan joked, nudging me lightly.

"Oh? I know something you should love." I mused.

He raised his brow and looked me over, "Yeah? What is it?"

I gave him a sly smirk, "A shit ton of tea that will, over time, fix your stomach problem. And then you'll be able to eat whatever the fuck you want."

He stared at me in utter disbelief.  Arin exhaled in shock, "Are you serious?" and when I nodded, he looked over to Dan, "Holy shit dude!"

Dan searched my eyes before finally speaking, "I would actually marry you if you got me some of that shit," a blush crept to my face, "won't it cost a fucking dickload amount?" he asked.

I smiled sweetly, thinking about the large tree growing near my home in my gym bag.

"It won't cost me much, promise. I'm going to uh.." fuck. where would they think would have special bullshit enchanted fucking herbs? "Asia.. yeah, Asia, and they have them in a certain spot there. While I'm there also," I said, turning to Arin, "I can get you something, so I think you'll end up with a few more toys for your office, and a few good luck chars so that you don't suck ass at gaming anymore." I shot a wink his way and he groaned with a small smile.

"So do those sound good?" I asked, glancing between the two.

Dan had stayed still, "If you're being serious, I might actually cry, man." he said, trying to laugh it off.

I chuckled, waving it off, "Danny don't cry! It’s all okay, I promise you it will work.  On your ten minute power hour, you mentioned that if you could get rid of one thing, it would be your stomach problem, so I did research. ASLO ARIN," I turned to him again, "I may find something that will take the piss stench off your bookshelf."

~~~~~~~~~~