#The problem being Dog isn't named Dog anymore and also has no memory of being them.

[microraptorreactor]

Constantly torn between the fact that I want to yell about my Destiny OCs and the fact that they are tied to a written work now. Like before I can post about Dogteeth I need to get anything about Dogteeth postable. THe writer's curse.

[moistlasersguns-blog]

B(w)ITCH - Dan Avidan x Reader PART 1

Prompt: "well this isn't where I wanted to teleport, sorry for appearing in your bed at 2 am."

Explanation: Magic shit is going on.

Roles:

Witch = Reader

Owner of bed, and best friend = Danny

Notes:

*Found online, rip

**also onilne lmao kms

***Pronounced Vay-Duh

extra:

(r/name) = random name

____________________________________________________

"Are you ready to record?" I asked, glanced at the two males I sat between.

Guest Grumps.

I was decent friends with Arin and really good friends with Dan, but because I'm a lead actress in a popular TV show of my own called 'Pots and Pans'*, I didn't see them as much as I wished I could. The show is about a stoner and a pansexual person living together as roommates and dealing with life's bullshit while also not owning pots or pans.

The show was taken really well with LGBT+ youth and of course, stoners, which gave it most of the popularity it now has.

I had been friends with the Grumps for a while since we got to know each other a few years back.

So, they thought that maybe it was time that I made an appearance on Guest Grumps, which I had been waiting forever to do.

And there we were, Arin began the episode while murmuring to me;

"You're fucking funny, so don't force anything, they'll love you." then he coughed, "Welcome!"

"Heyyyyyyyyy!!!" Danny happily exclaimed, "welcome back to Game Grumps, but it's a special Guest Grumps this time!"

Arin nodded, even though there wasn't a camera, and no one would see, "That's right, because today, we are playing Super Smash Bros."

I laughed and elbowed him, "Hey!"

"Oh!" he joked, "and (Name) (l/name) is here too!"

"Yay!" Dan laughed, fiddling with his controller.

"So, (name) while we set up, tell everyone what you do," Arin said, clicking buttons to get to the brawl screen.

"Well," I began, "I'm like a part-time Grump now, and by part-time I mean one time, and a full-time asshole so that's pretty cool."

Dan let out a quick laugh, "Nah, for real."

"Yeah but I um.. I'm in the show 'Pots and Pans' I play the latter, (r/name) as the witty Pansexual who can make weed brownies for her stoner roommate." I laughed, "But that shit doesn't matter I wanna play some fucking Smash Bros."

"Wow, woah, okay jeez." Arin huffed, handing off a controller to me (he hadn't done this before because he was attempting to tease me, knowing I wouldn't be able to reach across him to get it).

I smiled, hoping the next half hour or so would be as fun as these two promised.

━━━━✶━━━━

"Okay, so I've always wanted to ask this, and now that we're being recorded I thought that this was the best time," Arin said while being destroyed by my skill in-game.

"Yeah?" I asked, "what is it?"

"I've known you for a while, so has Dan, and we see clips all the time but... First off, why can you fight so well?"

I raised my brow, attention not leaving my character, "Um, I have older brothers. And like, neither of them were typical brothers. One was captain of the chess team and the other, with high heels and makeup on, started a riot about rights at the school. I've always had to know how to beat up people bigger than me since the beginning."**

Dan and Arin both turned to me, "Are you serious?"  "Really?"

I nodded.

Arin shrugged and turned back to the game, "Okay, another thing we just recently witnessed is; A bit ago, you were talking to Ross and he said something to piss you off-- jokingly of course--"

Dan, knowing where this story was going, laughed at the thought. I joined in.

"He like, ran away a bit, and you flipped him off, then he immediately tripped and fell flat on his face. what kind of magic shit have you got going for you, because I want some."

"Yeah," Dan agreed, "I could've used that power all of Guild Grumps."

"Fuck Ross," I said, laughing.

"Yeah, fuck Ross." Arin agreed.

"Oh! Also, what the fuck is up with your amazing ability to speak other fucking languages? Like you can just learn that shit?!" Dan brought this up this time.

The themes of these little things were making me sweat, they all had to do with my secret, but I thought I was playing it cool.

"I don't know, I have a good memory."

"Say something to us in another language." Arin mused.

"Uh... Here, I'll do German." I prayed for my necklace, "Fassen Sie mich nicht an!"

There was a bit of silence.

"That means 'don't touch me.'"

They began laughing, "what," Dan wheezed, "are you afraid of being fucking raped by a German person on the daily?"

"Nein!" I laughed, "But like, my favourite thing about German is that like, when you know what the fuck you're doing, like 'step back I've done this shit before', you say; 'Da liegt der Hund begraben.' which means 'that's where the dog is buried.'"

I paused, because the two were busy laughing, "So like, there's a serious fucking thing going on and you know all about that situation you just scream; 'THAT'S WHERE THE FUCKING DOG IS BURIED.'"

"But, German is a truly beautiful language filled with the love of pigs."

"What?"

━━━━✶━━━━

The recording session ended a while ago, so Dan, Arin, and I took a seat in the office somewhere to talk about shit.

"So, (Name), you travel a whole lot, do you feel like you maybe wanna get me a nice little souvenir?" Dan joked, nudging me lightly.

"Oh? I know something you should love." I mused.

He raised his brow and looked me over, "Yeah? What is it?"

I gave him a sly smirk, "A shit ton of tea that will, over time, fix your stomach problem. And then you'll be able to eat whatever the fuck you want."

He stared at me in utter disbelief.  Arin exhaled in shock, "Are you serious?" and when I nodded, he looked over to Dan, "Holy shit dude!"

Dan searched my eyes before finally speaking, "I would actually marry you if you got me some of that shit," a blush crept to my face, "won't it cost a fucking dickload amount?" he asked.

I smiled sweetly, thinking about the large tree growing near my home in my gym bag.

"It won't cost me much, promise. I'm going to uh.." fuck. where would they think would have special bullshit enchanted fucking herbs? "Asia.. yeah, Asia, and they have them in a certain spot there. While I'm there also," I said, turning to Arin, "I can get you something, so I think you'll end up with a few more toys for your office, and a few good luck chars so that you don't suck ass at gaming anymore." I shot a wink his way and he groaned with a small smile.

"So do those sound good?" I asked, glancing between the two.

Dan had stayed still, "If you're being serious, I might actually cry, man." he said, trying to laugh it off.

I chuckled, waving it off, "Danny don't cry! It’s all okay, I promise you it will work.  On your ten minute power hour, you mentioned that if you could get rid of one thing, it would be your stomach problem, so I did research. ASLO ARIN," I turned to him again, "I may find something that will take the piss stench off your bookshelf."

~~~~~~~~~~