#The post is half joking but seriously i wish when I see Chinese stuff it wasn't always takeout

[trans-leek-cookie]

I want REAL Chinese representation and that means OLD CHINESE WOMEN WHO I DONT KNOW WELL AND SEEM SUPER JUDGEMENTAL BUT IM NOT 100% SURE HONESTLY BECAUSE THEY ARE VERY SARCASTIC SO IDK WHEN THEYRE JOKING OR BEING HONEST and also FOOD OTHER THAN TAKEOUT

[yozzers]

vexos hcs and random notes

ill update as i go, because yes i do update my masterlists every once in awhile, i should probably add them to my pinned... 

General

I sincerely hope they have a small living arrangement so I can inflict them with the pain of having to share almost everything with each other

I just want Shadow and Lync to share a bunk

Like to think that alongside Volt, Mylene and Lync were also recruited by Hydron

None of them officially joined until they were a bit older but probably trained to eventually join the Vexos; in the mean time they probably worked for Hydron or something like that

Volt recruited at 11; Lync a year later and Mylene following not long after (respectively 13, 8, 12 when they’re all gathered)

My reasoning to why Volt is patient with Lync’s antics and Mylene less so but doesn’t lash out as badly as you think she would around annoying little kids; grew up tgt moment

Spectra probably forced his way into the Vexos like “hiiii i see you dont have any Vexos members <3″ bcs obv he wasn’t using royal scientist dad privelages (i think, bcs Clay seems horrified abt Spectra being a Vexos and well, being Spectra) 

Shadow had an advantage of being a nobleman (in terms of him being accepted into the Vexos’ ranks)

the Vexos and their set of rules magent-ed on the fridge door or something and every time they go over a page they have to staple/tape a new page on

Joined in this order, Volt, Spectra, Shadow, Mylene, Lync, Gus 

Vexos being a “chance of death low but the chance is still there” type of job... they feel like idols girl help they are bakugan idol group who work for the government 

sorry the way the vestal kids talk about them... going to treat the Vexos like a kpop group now

Spectra Phantom / Keith Fermin 

[canon] son of a (royal?) scientist. definitely had it good and comfy

think it’d be REALLY funny if he already knew Shadow before he became Spectra, Shadow just doesn’t recognize him bcs of his stupid get up

throws childhood friends Shadow Spectra at you, just two weirdos 

Keith specifically keeps Shadow from ever meeting his sister which is why neither of them really recognize each other

Pre-Spectra; probably would’ve been really into bakugan biology and what not. Feels like the kind of person to talk w/ his dad about “do you think we could change their appearance if we messed w/ their mechanical ball form or would it not carry over to their released forms”

this mf looks like a biology major i feel it in my guts 

mom isn’t dead she just divorced Clay bcs he didn’t know how to balance family and work, good for her

probably lives in another city now, and it’s a bit more of a hassle to meet with her kids so they don’t see her as much but she is present in their lives (keep in contact in other ways) 

probably went a bit silent when Keith went missing

didn’t bleach his eyebrows bcs he didn’t want to harm the skin around there and he never thought he’d take the mask off around others, or about how stupid he’d look without the mask

please please please please draw him with his pink hair roots in his MS fit he should've grown out some of his bleached hair by then

daddy issues is truly the root of evil

Gus Grav

Just Some Gut background; middle class just living life

[canon?] was going on a route to being an “idol brawler”, because that’s kind of what their brawls felt like, since it was all purely for show with some competition. it felt less like a sport and more spectacle.

Gus wanting to be an idol brawler is actually such a funny string of words put together I’m making that a thing, if he didn’t join the Vexos he would’ve been an idol brawler

I like the Gus needs glasses hc (shoutout to @marmeladebois ‘s post on that) 

The hc of him being half human and Runo’s half brother is so good 

Cooks well but refuses to help cook fr the Vexos (unless Spectra specifically asks) --> that job is usually left to Volt

not related but reminds me heavily of yugioh vrain’s Spectre (or other way around... Gus was the blueprint) 

Shadow Prove

[handbook canon] a vestal nobleman 

has an older brother (oc; Lux- casual Haos brawler)

inferiority complex or whatever, the only thing he bested his brother in was Bakugan

the Prove family being typical prim proper noble family and forcing Shadow to be repressed is something, but the Proves having the same kind of wavelength as Shadow but in different variations is funnier. They’re just Like That.

Probably not a military family, does work closely with the government still; um im thinking somewhere under the Fermins but not by much

Considered running away from home several times 

Unwillingly has knowledge on Vestal classic literature/ music

hard clutching a wall whenever he wants to join in on discussions about it bcs he knows this stuff but no way is he going to make himself look like a nerd + hes not actually that interested

*debates you for fun and bcs i hate u <3* 

You know how he doesn’t take his job as a Vexos member super seriously, I wonder:

did his parents force him to be a Vexos since he wasn’t interested in the political side of his family and probably against taking up anything related to it, so they had him do something that’d still be beneficial to the family?  

joined to pursue a freedom he didn’t have as a nobleman and is now just taking it really easy?

has clowns > jesters debate with volt; obv he’s team clown, volt is team jester

incredibly irrelevant but if he was a human he’d be chinese, i’ve claimed him, prodigal son older brother and fail son dynamic is there 

Mylene Ferrow

While I like the idea of her being from a military family, I want to make her like Ling Wen (TGCF) in the sense she started from the bottom and climbed to the top... it fits her ambitious nature of grasping for more, she hasn’t reached what she considers the top just yet... 

[very Ling Wen specific but Mylene being put in jail fr crimes unknown to me and being recruited  by Hydron bcs she kicked serious ass is an entertaining thought] 

I like to think she’s closest to Shadow due to the fact he kind of forces his presence onto her so... not her choice in that matter. “annoying” to “endearingly annoying, you still aren’t getting special treatment though”

Ofc Volt and Lync are on the same level, but I think they all know when to give each other space so they’re more of a “we hold each other at a distance, but we’re aware of out closeness which is enough for us”

Then its Spectra and then Gus in the “closest to Mylene” scale; she just straight up hates Gus and it’s mutual

whoever made the “Mylene and Spectra were exes” hc I think it’s really funny so I’m adding it here 

terrible fashion, she’s the one who chose the outfits when she and Shadow went to earth; her fashionable armor look she usually has was designed with Volt’s help, she just voiced what she generally wanted 

Her red lipstick look was bcs she thought it’d make her look more serious/ intimidating (Volt and Lync approved, it rlly does work on her)

Shadow matches w/ her (via his red nails) after they get teamed up tgt several times bcs he thinks they’re basically the go-to duo matchup whenever they’re assigned work n it’d be cool

Very forthcoming about the fact she used to be considered a criminal and was from same rundown area Volt and Lync come from

She’s grateful she got out of jail but she still has no respect for Hydron and despite how much she tries to hide it she does make it pretty clear to him she doesn’t really like him

I wish I had more to say about her... but It’s all relationship esque, i think in general she’s enjoyable and good so what I want more out of her is character dynamics

Lync Volan

[eng dub] he has grandparents; whether they’re still alive or not is...? 

was part of the same area Volt is from

probably aware of each other but didn’t really know each other

you sound like you have mommy issues 

came from the same area as Volt, but lived further out and closer to those areas where there were some bits of nature left 

ill expand on why he got picked up by Hydron another day lazy rn

Volt Luster

[canon] he’s from an area that just straight up looks like yugioh 5ds’ Satellite, and Hydron was the one who pulled him out of there  

He says Hydron pulled him out of there when he was a kid? I’d assume at youngest it’d be like Hydron (8) and Volt (11)

has a neat collection of handmade jester dolls 

lot more artistic than he seems 

Had his guardian bakugan with him the longest; had Brontes even before he met Hydron

Would the others consider him weird fr having a talking Bakugan that acted friendly with him n cracked jokes? 

[hadnothing]

OKAY, SO — QUICK TALKS ABOUT THE SHANG-CHI MOVIE AND IMPLICATIONS OF IT.

as a reasonably vocal asian american i’ve been having this conversation with friends and family a few times since the movie was announced. people have a lot of different thoughts about a lot of different things and so i’m gonna break down mine here so that i can point to this post instead of rehashing it all for the umpteenth time ‘cause i’m a lazy bastard.

i absolutely think that marvel is continuing a trend of picking somewhat well-known but not too beloved characters to bring to the big screen, yeah. it allows them to rework a lot of the material and not have too many comic buffs pissed when they inevitably change too much or ‘get something wrong.’ shang-chi is a pretty good choice for that imo; he’s been around a long time and he’s been reworked in comics as well because of the whole fu manchu debacle and it’s a chance to consolidate a nicer background for him yet again. it’s also about time for the representation, and yes, i do think this is an extremely marketable move for them as far as an asian american audience goes and most of their american fanbase in general.

i do not think it is a marketable move for them with asian audiences in asia, but absolutely it is for asian audiences in the west. you have to understand that representation is only a big deal for people like me, who are used to not seeing people like myself on screen in major roles. in a similar way to the way that crazy rich asians was seen as a step back and totally flunked in china, etc., i would predict that shang-chi won’t meet a ton of success outside of the north american fanbase because guess what? representation isn’t an issue in that market, and to be bringing a character with this kind of really questionable background up is definitely a more lousy move and comes across as kind of an insult tbh. it comes across as a sellout move, because in a way it is even though it’s probably meant somewhat genuinely as representation is overdue, and i get that. but also, it’s representation that comes at a time when suddenly it’s going to make them a lot of money to put it out there. it’s not like there weren’t resources before. it’s because people yell about wanting this more now. and that goes for a lot of things now, but it doesn’t make that faint sour taste go away, y’know? i think that because i’ve been able to live back and forth with my family in taiwan and america, it gives me a lot of perspective i wouldn’t have otherwise, and like, dude. seriously, it’s a step back for sure for me. i think they would’ve done a lot better to work with an asian american character, because that’s a way more accessible and understandable experience for the western audience and would mean even more to see, and it’s additionally something that the eastern audience wouldn’t begrudge nearly as much and would be more likely to celebrate. i’d be personally mortified to try and see that movie with my fave cousin or something, he’s like, what is this? this is some crazy silly caricature! this so old, wow, i don’t get it! i would rather see something about somebody like you! and i kind of have to agree. whether or not i actually go to see the movie at all on my own, i’m undecided about as well, just because it’s an emotional mix-up for me personally. it’s also worth noting that while liu is chinese, he’s a canadian citizen, and it would have been entirely possible to cast a chinese citizen. and yes, leung is chinese, and guess what? my cousin told me there’s calls to boycott him for signing into this. so that says something.

i would have preferred to see a different asian hero (even though i have a lot of nostalgia for mokf) - however, you also have to take into account that good representation in comics is a much newer thing, and marvel does like to pull more established characters for films. shang-chi has been around a hell of a lot longer than, like, amadeus cho or kamala khan, or any of the newer generation folks (which, we also don’t know if or how they’re going to be worked into the current mcu). why this is, idk, i don’t think it’s a source material thing given how much they like to change things, i think it may fr be solely a whole ass thing about getting the chance to improve on what they’ve made mistakes with and revive their marketability. they’ve been working shang-chi into a lot of stuff lately like domino’s solo series and appealing to asian americans in general with amadeus, and new agents of atlas, and things like this.

i do have a lotta concerns with possible fetishization. i think everyone can acknowledge that marvel sells you heroes on a lot of sex appeal, and simu liu’s hot. fair enough! but like, consider the kind of sometimes rabid adoration people have over rdj, and hiddleston, in their mcu roles. blind stanning and drooling. now consider that with an asian man, from a whole bunch of white people who aren’t really aware of a lot of chinese culture except for this COMIC BASED movie that they watched, or maybe the k- and c-pop idols they already uwu over to a terrifying and often-ignorant degree, and wince with me. and dude, yes, i know not everyone is like that. i have tons of wonderful friends who make efforts to connect with me and like, surprise me with culturally appropriate gifts on holidays i celebrate, and cool things like that. but i’ve personally been fetishized by people i was dating, or people that were into me, and been subjected to so many stupid-ass questions more than i can count, and i’m only half taiwanese and white-passing a fair enough percentage of the time. this is going to open up some floodgates for dumb movie-linked jokes and assumptions. there’s always people that just don’t make an effort and don’t think that they’re ignorant and say what they want. and there’s enough asian fetishization in the world. i mean, fuck, lmao, just think of bts fangirls or whatever, right? it’s that line between enjoyment and total manic adulation that’s so dangerous.

i do not approve of shang-chi’s comic origins. if anyone has read the original master of kung-fu series, you are probably super aware that a - there’s a lot of white savior connotations, b - fu manchu is the most hideous, stereotypical, racially villainizing bullcrap, and c - it just wasn’t that good, period. there were a lot of issues with the series and if it weren’t for the fact that i read it as a kid and was excited over seeing media in comics about people like me, i would absolutely fucking hate it as a new reader today. but i can acknowledge that marvel did try to give him a new background later, even if it still wasn’t exactly stellar imo, and appreciate it for what it meant to me when i was too young to understand the problems in the writing, and that’s ok too. there’s definitely reasons i have a heavy preference for one of the lesser-seen villains over the titular character and have a whole ass blog for him where i’ve canon diverged heavily. 

all that said, i do think that reworking shang-chi is a pretty decent idea. if it wasn’t, i wouldn’t have him here. there’s a lot that can be done with what is, more or less, a really cool idea that can be done better and i can at least hope that the movie is just that. a good movie that hopefully nods to old kung-fu tradition. idk if i’ll care for it. for now i’m going to do my thing with writing him how i wish he was, that’s it, and keep my eye on things as they go. 

[ficdirectory]

Blink (An AU Fosters family fic) Chapter 57

CHAPTER 57

 Pearl’s hands are shaking on the steering wheel.  Her phone is on speaker so she can talk without having to hold it.  She can’t move.  Can’t think.  It’s 9:32.  Six minutes since she saw him.  She keeps checking the rearview mirror, but hasn’t seen him come out yet.  Steve and Sue.  But not him.

With those three kids in tow, she’ll definitely notice when he comes out.

 Kids.

 The thought makes her sick to her stomach.  How could a man like that have kids?  Pearl can’t stop crying.  She can’t focus.  Can’t breathe.  Can’t hear Jesus or Stef.  

 Gracie’s with her, though.  She’s come up on the passenger seat and stretched across it so her front paws are on Pearl’s lap.  She’s whining and licking Pearl’s face.  It helps.  Just barely, but it helps.

 “I’m not going to be able to calm down until I know he’s gone…” she manages, gasping every few words.

 “I know,” Jesus offers. Not advice.  Not a directive.  Just understanding.  He gets what a hellish experience this must be for her.

 “Just stay where you are.  Don’t try to drive anywhere.  Let me know when you see him leave.”  Stef.  With all the advice and directives.  Well, Pearl needs someone to advise her.  She has no idea how to cope with seeing him for the first time in fifteen years.

 She’s seen his picture, sure.  He’s been in the papers at the center of the town gossip, but not for what he’d done to her.  That, somehow, had only smeared Pearl’s name.  It’s everything that being in close proximity to him brings up.  The scent of him.  His eyes on her.  His categorical denial of having done anything wrong at all, even at the time.

 “I’m sorry for calling.  For bothering you.  God, I’m such an idiot.  It’s early there…” Pearl rants trying to catch her breath.

 Gracie’s still right in Pearl’s space trying to calm her down the best she can.  Having her there anchors Pearl in the present in the way nothing else can.  Surrounded by all these people and places she knew at sixteen, it’s hard not to feel pulled back through time.  But Pearl hadn’t had Gracie then.  

 “Hey.  It’s okay,” Jesus insists.  “I don’t mind.  I was up anyway.”

 “It’s the weekend…” she manages.  “Saturday!  God, I’m a horrible person.  Just hang up with me.  I’m fine…” she sobs.

 Her phone clicks off, almost causing Pearl to hyperventilate until she sees the Skype call coming through.  From Jesus.  She thinks about not answering.  But what would she do without somebody to help ground her?  Gracie’s doing great, but Pearl needs all the help she can get.

 Reaching out a shaky hand, she hits the green button and waits.  Jesus’s concerned face and messy bed hair fill the screen. Pearl tries not to focus on what her own face must look like right now.

 “I know you’re not fine.  And that’s okay.  You can be however you are,” Jesus says patiently as Pearl looks away.  Her eyes flick to the clock inside the car.  9:39.  

 “God, where is he?” she insists, craning her neck around to see.

 “Try to breathe,” Jesus says gently.  “I’m right here.  I called so you could see me.  Like you called me, remember?  In the car?  And a bunch of other times?  I think it helps to see each other.  What do you think?”

 “He has children….  How is someone like him even allowed to have kids?!”

 “Pearl.  Hey,” Stef’s firm and in control voice.  Her face fills the screen.  “You need to talk to us.  When you see anyone come out, check your mirror and tell me if you see him leaving the area.  Are there other cars still in the lot?”

 “Not around me, but yeah…”

 “Okay.  I know you’re worried.  I want you to stay with us.”

 “Mom, I got her,” Jesus interjects, and his face fills the screen.  “I got you.  Okay?  I’m not right there, but I have your back.  Don’t think about him right now.  What do you need?  Do you know?”

 “Just talk to me...about anything else…”

 “Okay...I drew a tree yesterday in therapy,” he offers.

 This gets through.  Pearl can feel her gaze sharpen even with the tears and the shaking and the racing thoughts and the freezing and the shorting out of her brain.  “Really?” she asks, touched.

 “Yeah.  You wanna think about growing?  I know trees don’t usually grow in cars, but it might help.  Think about growing more steady.  More firmly rooted.  All that stuff you said to me.  Try to breathe slower if you can.”

 Pearl does try.  It’s awful.  Her body feels like it’s completely out of her control.  She can’t stop shaking.  It reminds her of that long night in the woods.  She can’t even focus her mind much less her energy.

 “The post office is only open until 10:00!  It’s 9:45.  He’s been in there almost twenty minutes.  No one needs to take that long!”

 Gracie licks her face.

 “If I had just come yesterday or brought it last week when I was here, none of this would be happening…” Pearl moans.  

 “It’s not on you at all,” Jesus says.  “It’s not.  You deserve to be able to go out and live your life without being scared all the time.  If he saw you coming, it was on him to turn the hell around and walk the other way.”

 For a while, all Pearl can do is cry quietly.  She knows Jesus is trying to help, and he is, but she feels so alone out here.  She wishes somebody were here to help her.  To get her home safely.  So she didn’t have to sit here in terror for a half an hour while she…

 “He’s coming out…” she says suddenly, sitting forward, her eyes fixed on the rearview mirror.  “With the post office employee.  They’re talking.  Laughing.  She’s helping him with the kids.  He’s getting in his car.”  Pearl holds her breath.  Watches Jolly wave as he pulls out and turns onto the main road.

 She watches until she can’t see his car anymore.

 “He’s gone,” Pearl sighs.  Then she cuts the call, leans out the door, and vomits in the parking lot.

 --

 “Mom.  Where is she?” Jesus asks, eyes wide.  “Seriously.  Why would she just hang up like that?”

 “Honey, I don’t know.  If you need a break, you should go in and talk to Mama.  I’ll keep trying to get a hold of Pearl.  Make sure she’s okay.  But we need to make sure you’re taken care of, too, yes?”

 “Yeah,” he admits.

 “And this is very stressful on you.  So I am calling ‘Time’ right now.  Go take a break,” Stef opens the door and calls inside for Lena, making sure she hears a response before sending Jesus inside.

 When she’s alone, Stef calls Pearl back on her own phone.  Keeps calling, until Pearl picks up.

 “What?” she says in a ragged voice.

 “Pearl?  It’s Stef.  How are you, love?”

 Nothing.

 “Pearl?  I know it’s hard but I need you to answer me.  Are you okay?”

 “No…” she manages, voice breaking.

 “Okay.  Stay on the phone.  You’re still safe, though, yes?  He’s gone?  You’re still in your car with the doors locked?”

 “Yes.”

 “Good.  So, we’ll just hang out here together.  I sent Jesus in to talk to Lena for a bit, so you don’t have to worry about keeping it together for him.”

 “I wasn’t,” Pearl sniffs.  “Some role model I am, right?”

 “You are, actually,” Stef says warmly.  “I’m very glad Jesus has you to talk to.  Lena and I try to be there for him as best we can, but when it comes down to it, we don’t understand.  He needs to have someone he can relate to.  Someone older, who can tell him it’s going to be okay.”

 “But it’s not…” Pearl whispers.  “It’s not okay.”

 “Well, Jesus hasn’t had it easy lately either, love.  And I hesitate to speak for him, but I’d like to think that it’s reassuring for him to know that he’s not the only one struggling.  It’s okay to have hard days.  It’s not okay what happened to you, but your reaction to it makes sense.”

 “You don’t have to be so nice to me... “ Pearl mutters.  “I realize I’m a huge mess.”

 Jesus sticks his head out the door.  “Mom?  Can I talk to Pearl?”

 “Did you take a break with Mama?” Stef checks.

 “Yeah.  I showed her and Frankie how to grow like trees.  They even did it with me.”

 Stef gives Jesus a confused look.  She misses out on so many references having five teenagers, and this tree thing of Jesus and Pearl’s is no different.

 “It’s a grounding thing I taught him,” Pearl offers tearfully.

 “I see.  Well, I’ll leave the porch to you both,” Stef says as Jesus calls Pearl back from his own phone.  “Pearl, you let us know when you’re home safely, please, and Jesus?  If you start to feel unsafe, let someone know.”

 “I know.  I will,” he answers.

 --

 Jesus is in such a better place after talking Mama and Frankie through growing like trees.  It was hard for Frankie, but she managed, when he, she and Mama all held hands as they grew.  He’s thinking that everyone could benefit from Pearl’s version of grounding, but for now, Jesus is focused on actually being there for Pearl.

 “You okay?” he asks.

 “I still have to drive home,” Pearl offers, sounding hollow.  Empty.  It’s nerve-wracking seeing her like this.  

 “You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.  There’s time,” he offers.  “I know it’s hard, but try not to shut down.  Okay?  Please?”

 It’s a comfort that Jesus can clearly see Gracie all over Pearl.  With all that on her lap, there’s no way she can shut down totally.  Jesus hopes, anyway.

 “Do you have any food with you?  Anything sweet?” he asks.  “I don’t know why, but sugar seems to help me when I’m super scared.”

 Jesus waits as Pearl struggles to glance around Gracie.  “I have old dressing from a Chinese place...and an expired can of Coke…” Pearl grimaces.

 He watches as she tries to steady herself enough to open the can.  Wishes he could just reach out and help her.  Offer it to her the way his Moms help him when he can’t manage.  But Pearl opens it on her own and takes a small sip.

 “Surprised it’s not frozen solid,” Jesus jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

 “Amazingly, no.  Gracie, back.  You can’t drink this,” Pearl admonishes, sounding a lot more like herself.  She’s still shaking but she seems to be coming around.  She takes another sip.  “This is seriously disgusting.”

 “Why do you have it in your car?” Jesus wonders.

 “Because my mom wanted Diet Coke but they were out, so I picked up this out of a vending machine and she didn’t want it.”

 “Too bad for her...good for you, though…” he offers.

 “I suppose.  Listen, I am really sorry.  This is the last thing I wanted to do.  I told myself I wasn’t gonna bother you today.”

 “Stop.  I want you to bother me.  I always want that.  I told you yesterday that I’d come with you here, if you wanted.  I wasn’t kidding.  Stop apologizing.”

 “It’s just...you’ve been dealing with so much.”

 “And sometimes our stuff overlaps.  You obviously called me for some reason.  And I knew I might need backup, which is why I got my mom.  I didn’t wanna be telling you the wrong things to do.  I can handle myself.  When the pressure’s on.  When I have to act.  That feels normal to me.  Being at home, safe and comfortable is what doesn’t.”

 “I called because Mariana said you outsmarted Him...so I thought...Jesus will know what to do…”

 He smiles, just a little.  “Well, I don’t know about that.  But I tried.  And I’m glad you called.”

 Pearl takes another breath. “I need to try to get home.”

 “Will you call?  Let me know you got home okay?” he asks.

 “Sure, if you want.  But then, I’m pretty sure I’m gonna crash.”

 “Okay.  Drive safe.  If you need to pull over and call back, do it.  Don’t hesitate.  Don’t try to push through.”

 “I will,” Pearl says.  “Or...I won’t…  Whatever’s appropriate.”

 When Jesus hangs up with Pearl, he goes in the house to grab a notebook and a pen and ducks back out again.  Sits on the swing.  Writes:

 Dear Pearl,

 Most people don’t know this but I have a hard time putting pen to paper.  I have a lot of scary memories that go with doing that.  But I wanted to write you because I know how important it can be to have proof of someone’s words and feelings especially after something tough.

 I carry important people’s words around with me: yours, Mari’s, Isaac’s.  This way, I hope you’ll be able to have my words to look back on if you’re ever scared again.  Getting your letter after I had a panic attack in the car really helped. I read it every day.  I want the same for you,

 So, I hate that this happened to you, but you are every bit as strong and fearless as you ever were.  I don’t view you as weak or a horrible person.  Because your MY person, Pearl.  Your so important to me because you give me hope that I can grow up and be like you and maybe help someone like me who needs it.  

 Please don’t get down on yourself,  You are so awesome, okay?  Believe that.  With freaking out.  With trauma.  With all that.  You don’t have to be perfect.  Because your just you and that’s enough.

 You are enough.  And I’ll always have your back.

 I care about you so much,

Jesus

 His phone pings with a message from Pearl.  It’s a house emoji, probably because there isn’t a cabin one.

 Jesus doesn’t want Pearl to have to wait days for this letter so he snaps a pic of it and texts it to her.

 Doesn’t hear back.  But he doesn’t really expect to.  She needs to rest.  And he needs to let her.  

 He’ll check in with her tomorrow.

 Jesus closes his eyes.  He hopes she’ll be a bit better by then.  He hates to see his friend having such a hard time.

[adventuresaroundasia]

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info. 

I’ve noticed that the more I travel and the busier I become, the more impossible it becomes to keep up with my travels in real-time. Well, never fear monthly recap posts are here!

Pin Me!

This month I headed back to the US for a week of friends and family. First I stopped by Seattle for a few rainy days to see my parents, and then I was on to Napa Valley for my high school friend’s wedding!

May was also a month of moving. I moved out of my private office and into a public open office area (Which wasn’t as horrible as I thought it would be). I also began the process of moving from my Andingmen apartment to my boyfriend Chris’ place, because surprise my landlord sold our apartment and kicked us all out.

Where I Went

I spent most of the month hanging out in Beijing, but for one week I flew to the US where I went home to Seattle and headed to Napa for a wedding. In Seattle, I mainly relaxed and did a million errands, but in Napa, I rode I hot air balloon over the wineries with Tinggly Experiences and attended the fanciest black tie wedding I’ve ever been to at Auberge du Soleil.

Unfortunately, I was a bit too hungover for wine tasting the next day, but I drank enough fancy wine at my friend’s wedding that I didn’t really feel like I was missing out.

The beautiful couple!

Posing with my wedding parasol!

Monthly Highlights

A lot of great things happened this month! Let’s go through my favorites.

A Beautiful Napa Wedding

Last month one of my best friends from high school married her college sweetheart in Napa, so I flew down from Beijing for the wedding. Fun fact: In the summer of 2013 I actually traveled to Tibet with her husband (without her!) having only met him once a few years prior. Weird, right?

A year or so later, they let me crash in their Palo Alto apartment while I was applying for a Chinese visa, and we visited the Napa Wineries together. It’s crazy to think that the next time I’d see them together would be at their Napa Wedding!

They were married at Auberge du Soleil, a stunning resort overlooking the Napa Wineries. This was my first “friend-wedding”, and I didn’t think I’d cry… but I did. After a tear-jerking ceremony, they had a great reception with food and wine pairings and a lot of dancing. I sat at a table with the bride’s cousins and high school friends and we all had a blast!

Let’s hope my future wedding is at least half as good as her’s was.

My friend and I waiting for the ceremony to start

We suffered through our heels together

Road Tripping with My High School Friend

Unfortunately, I didn’t get as much time with the bride as I would’ve liked, but I did get to bond with another high school friend who attended the wedding!

Living in China, I feel like it’s pretty hard to keep in touch with my friends from back home, especially my high school friends who now live all over the country! So this wedding was a perfect opportunity to spend some time with a friend I’ve barely seen since high school.

The two of us rented a car (a first for me!) and drove from San Francisco down to Napa Valley where we crashed at a Motel 6. Classy, I know. We had a great time getting ready for the wedding together and eating all the non-Chinese food I could get my hands on.

a beautiful sunrise flight

Floating in a Hot Air Balloon Over Napa Valley

While the wedding was incredible, floating over Napa’s wineries with my high school friend was a close second! While I wasn’t a huge fan of the 5 am wake-up call, the two of us threw on some warm clothes and hopped in the rental car to a parking lot in Yountville, twenty minutes north of our Napa motel.

I gazed in wonder as they filled up the hot air balloons around us. I had seen a hot air balloon up close once in my life before this moment and I barely remember it because I think I was roughly eight years old.

The sensation of flying in a hot air balloon was literally magical. You float along with the wind, so the air is surprisingly warm and calm. For one hour we watched as the sun rose and spread its golden light across the sky. We also lightly crash-landed into a golf-course pond and took off again without a hitch, our guide cackling at our gasps of surprise.

Afterward, my friend and I ran across the road to the famous Bouchon Bakery to stuff our faces with macarons and sip on crafted lattes. It was a perfect way to start the day before our friend’s wedding. Granted, we did have a pretty big nap in the afternoon… We needed it.

I was invited to check out this hot air balloon ride with my long-time friend and partner Tinggly, the ultimate gift-giving site for travelers. With Tinggly you can purchase an experience for a loved one that they can cash in anywhere in the world. Seriously, if you want to give an awesome gift to someone who doesn’t like “things”, this site is gold. I almost wish I could’ve taken my boyfriend along as a surprise, but this “friend date” was a blast as well.

[button url=”http://www.adventuresaroundasia.com/tinggly&#8221; label=”Check Out Tinggly’s Experiences!” size=”large” target=”_blank”]

Back in Seattle!

Spending Time at Home in Seattle

While this trip home was rushed and a bit rainy, it was a good one. First, I had the opportunity to see my parents and grandpa, who I hadn’t seen since Christmas. I ate all the Mexican food and stocked up on healthy quinoa and brown rice for my upcoming diet in June (more on that later). Seriously, Trader Joes is heaven.

While I was home I also had time to sit down with my mom to plan my parents’ trip to China this September! Both of my parents will be flying to Beijing where we’ll spend two weeks exploring my China home, along with Xi’an and Yunnan province. I’ll be sure to write out our itinerary and share it with all of you because it really is a perfect two-week China trip!

Finally, I had the chance to get some hiking boots at REI for all of my upcoming Great Wall trips (and hopefully a surprise long-term trek that isn’t set in stone yet so you’ll just have to wait!). Having read the book Wild not too long ago, I paid extra, extra attention to whether or not my toes hit the front of the boot when going downhill on the fake rock they have set up in the store. I don’t want to loose all my toenails like Reese Witherspoon.

Overall, I’m super happy with my Oboz boots, and I’m glad I bought them through REI because they have literally the world’s best warranty.

I forgot to take pictures…

Flying First Class!

While the long haul flight from Seattle to Beijing and back was nothing to rave about, I did have a chance to experience first class on the trip from Seattle to San Francisco!

This was my first time ever purchasing first class for myself, so I felt pretty fancy! Why did I buy a first class ticket? Well, when you factored in the price of checking a bag, it was only $40 more expensive to spring for first class. TREAT YO SELF.

On the plane, I drank one too many Bloody Marys and enjoyed my antipasto platter, while all the business travelers around me chugged coffee and worked away on their laptops. Sorry, not sorry.

I only wish the flight was more than two hours!

America! Why you so expensive??

Challenges

Life can’t always be perfect. Here were my least favorite moments of May 2017.

Why is America so Expensive???

For the past few years, my only time in the US has been lounging at home in Seattle, with the brief exception of crashing at my friend’s Palo Alto apartment for a weekend. What does this mean? It means I have very little experience traveling in the US.

Living in a place is much cheaper than traveling, and I was shocked by how expensive the US has become. Over $100 a night for a shitty hotel room at Motel 6? Seriously?! My Uber to In and Out and back was how much???

Living in Asia has its benefits, and us bloggers are definitely not lying about the cheap cost of living and travel. Why spend $100 a night for a motel in Napa when you can spend $30 a night for a beautiful boutique hotel in Dali? (Yes, my parents and I will be staying here in September.)

Travel bloggers NEVER get a vacation!

Blogging Overload

This trip home to the US was extremely busy, which meant I got a bit behind on my blogging. Seriously, I got back to China I realized I was responding to emails from 11 days prior. ELEVEN DAYS!!!

Many bloggers joke about how their inboxes are out of control, and I am no exception. But I usually pride myself on responding to emails within at least a few days. Well, after a busy week in the US, I arrived home to China, and then promptly suffered a mild heart attack.

My inbox was out of control. I hadn’t written a blog post in two weeks. I was behind on work at my college counseling job. I hadn’t even looked at any of the THREE paid courses I’m working on right now. AHHHHHH

Now at least I’ve kind of caught up on the emails…

Drama in the hutongs!

Apartment Drama

Throughout March and April, my roommates and I lived under the constant threat of expulsion. My landlord started showing the property to potential buyers and we had no idea what was going on. In early May we got the official news: You all need to be out by the end of June.

Of course, I wasn’t too bummed by this news because I was basically living in Chris’ apartment half the time anyway. I was tired of living in two different apartments, never having the right belt, dress, or my external hard drive when I needed it. So, I figured I’d wait out my lease until the end of June, moving my stuff to Chris’ apartment slowly over the course of a month.

In the last week of May, I received an update: they managed to postpone our move out day until the end of July!!!

JULY?! I had already agreed to start paying rent in June for Chris’ place, and now all of a sudden I need to come up with another month’s rent at my old apartment? You can’t just drop that on someone last minute. When you say I have to be out by June, I assume I need to be out by June, end of story.

My old room! (In my THINX period panties?)

When I said I wanted to be out by June, my roommate who I’m subletting from insisted I needed to find someone to cover the rent for July. This led to a mini passive-aggressive fight between the two of us, as I asserted that I didn’t think paying for an extra month’s rent was my responsibility, and she took days to respond to my texts.

How would I be able to find someone to sublet my apartment for just one month? How would I find the time to show my apartment to a bunch of people when I was basically living at Chris’ place?

But, within a few days, a friend of a friend dropped out of the sky and into my lap. He needed an apartment for 6 weeks and was set to leave Beijing two days before we had to be out of my apartment. Score!

So, I went from moving to Chris’ over the course of June to needing to be out of my apartment in the first week of June. At least I found someone to cover the rent?

Having a little too much fun on the wall

My Most Popular Post

The best post of May was definitely my story about hiking the Wild Wall! Remember last month when I talked about my Great Wall birthday adventure in an off-the-beaten-path section not officially open to tourists? Well in this post I told you the ENTIRE story, from hacking my way through overgrowth on the wall to the near-death experience I had trying to get off of it!

I also give some great advice about how to plan an off-the-beaten-path Great Wall adventure of your own, where you can enjoy the Great Wall with no tourists.

Last month I also published a post about an incredible new water filtration bag from DayOne Response. While this bag is great for long-term trekkers, etc. it’s best for disaster relief, providing clean water to those who need it most. Why? It’s reusable, lays flat, and can filter enough water for an entire family in just 30 minutes.

DayOne Response is actually a finalist in the Chivas Venture competition for non-profit funding and I really hope they win! Unfortunately, voting has already closed, but you can always support them by sponsoring a bag for a family in need.

Best Instagram

My best Instagrams of the month were all from my Great Wall adventure this April! This first shot was taken when I first spotted the beautiful lake through a Great Wall tower.

Don’t usually break the square, but I had to for this one! . After hours of hiking on a crumbling, overgrown wall, @aussieontheroad and I stumbled on this view of Huanghuacheng below. . While this wall is a bit dangerous 😨😳 it was worth it for this view!!

A post shared by Richelle (@adventuresaroundasia) on May 11, 2017 at 8:03pm PDT

This second photo was taken on the way down. Just look at that view!!

Want to explore a section of the Great Wall not officially open to tourists? 🌸🌺Ever dreamed of having the wall all to yourself? . My latest post on adventuresaroundasia.com shows you how!! . Pay a villager $1 USD for the privilege of hiking a stunning, off the beaten path stretch of Great Wall literally NO ONE visits. ☀️Trust me, it’ll be worth it!

A post shared by Richelle (@adventuresaroundasia) on May 30, 2017 at 8:16pm PDT

Finally, I decided to make a second Instagram account, just for fun. I thought this new account would be a great way to connect with my friends and post photos in real-time without worrying about editing them in Lightroom or how they look in my Instagram grid (#ThingsBloggersWorryAbout). If you want to see some fun, behind-the-scenes photos that aren’t edited to perfection, come check it out @RichelleInAsia 

Song of the Month

This month I’ve been listening to John Legend’s Surefire. I’m obsessed with this music video about acceptance featuring a young romance between a Muslim girl and an illegal migrant boy from Mexico. Enjoy!

What I’m Reading

This month I read Oryx and Crake, the first book in a series by Margaret Atwood. After reading the Handmaid’s Tale, Chris suggested I read Atwood’s dystopian series that Atwood likes to call “speculative fiction” rather than science fiction because of course, everything she writes could feasibly happen in the near future.

In this book, Snowman, once known as Jimmy, struggles to survive in a world where he may or may not be the last human. In the aftermath of a world-wide plague, Snowman both protects and despises a new, genetically engineered humanoid species known as the Children of Crake, while he laments his lost best friend, the love of his life, and everything that went so terribly wrong.

I also literally just found out that this series is being made into a tv show on HBO. I’M SO EXCITED! Seriously, if you like the Handmaid’s Tale you’ll love this.

[button url=”http://amzn.to/2rTxDqY&#8221; label=”Download it on Kindle!” size=”large” target=”_blank”]

Best Blog Posts of May

What are my favorite posts from May? Check ’em out!

Taking Mom Overseas: Our First Mother-Daughter Trip – The Sweetest Way

I loved hearing about Leah’s trip with her mom to Greece. From their rocky past relationship to their experience wandering around Greece in the offseason, this was such a great read. I can only hope my trip showing my parents around China this fall will be as good!

Falling in Love with Northern Norway – Young Adventuress

This post makes me want to get a new blog theme so I can display full-width photos… and buy a better camera… and go to Norway.

Orangutans!

Orangutan Trekking in Sumatra – Aussie on the Road

I still haven’t written at length about my experience orangutan trekking in Bukit Lawang, but thankfully my boyfriend is literally the quickest writer on planet Earth and has been cranking out stories about our trip. Read along as he details that time we were chased through the jungle by an angry orangutan.

Cultural Clash: Why I and Many Others Will Gladly Serve Our Husband’s Food First – The Blog Abroad

I’ll be the first to admit, as a white non-Southern American, the idea of needing to serve my husband’s food first at a party before serving myself was kind of alien to me. It’s hard not to jump to conclusions that any woman who acts in this way is repressed. But from the quotes of women from all over the world Gloria collected, you can see that the answer is a bit more complicated.

None of this!

What’s Next for June 2017!

I have so many things going on in June! Firstly, I’ll be heading to a coworker’s wedding in Fushun, Liaoning province where I will be celebrating amongst 500 people! Second, I’ll also be moving into Chris’ apartment, which will be a nice change from having my stuff scattered across Beijing. I’ll also be welcoming (FINALLY) our third foreign counselor at my college counseling job… It only took them a year and five months to find someone.

Finally, I’ll be embarking on the test of a lifetime: and incredibly strict 1-month diet. In June I’ll be giving up alcohol, sugar, and simple carbs in China. Wish me luck!

This Beijing Life: Month 21 This post may contain affiliate links. Please read my disclosure for more info.  I’ve noticed that the more I travel and the busier I become, the more impossible it becomes to keep up with my travels in real-time.

[disparais]

you can’t stay in your corner of the forest

today was rather eventful, and i’m truthfully rather pleased that i stretched my usual boundaries of social interaction and made time to meet so many people. it is 2.40am as i begin this post and i’m really really tired so there will be plenty of parentheses; this is my mind at its rawest and most unfiltered state so.

study progress: rolled out of bed at 11 and rushed to med - was taught by the ever-brilliant zp at anat museum for a while (histo crash course, basically). grabbed lunch with zp, cl and ql, where zp and i discussed lokun’s shortcomings and what could be done about them. went to anat museum, where dr j gave us a wonderfully compact anat summary/revision. took a photo with her, gave her that card (after some acting on cl’s part lmao) and she texted us individually afterwards to say thanks and jy. so sweet of her aa ;w;

dinnered with p: possibly the highlight, because i always love intellectually stimulating conversation/conversation that prompts introspection and reflection (that hopefully leads to self-improvement?) and p is definitely someone i can count on for such quality convo. i just wish that he hadn’t gone into it with an explicit ministry mindset, but rather a friend kind of mindset. i don’t like the implicit relational separation (in a similar sense to how g describes social work, with one being a service provider and the other the client) that comes with the idea of being ministered to. but i guess i did manage to minister to him in a smol way, at least in the sense that i affirmed his efforts as cgl throughout the year (which definitely greatly pleased him c: ).

regarding leaving the church: still not sure about whether or not i’m being called to leave. God, i feel, has been strangely silent on the matter (or have i deafened my ears, shut my eyes and made my heart impervious to his calls?). the j debacle was never resolved (personal hurt), the quality of bible study and discussion never improves (the exercise that s and cy implemented just gave me false hope*) (not being fed), and i’m not personally clear on my membership with the church (meaning at the very least i didn’t knowingly sign myself over or anything like that, even though i was baptized in this church). and the lack of relational grounding is what makes it so easy to walk away, i suppose - no one would miss me, honestly, and i’d probably still find time for g and yy somehow.

*another personal hurt is probably that i feel xy has a lot of work to do in her empathy/effectiveness of communication, so even though m thinks we’re intellectual equals (which i objectively agree with), she’s much more unthinkingly cruel in communication than i am, imo. but, i digress.

regarding rhc: i am Not Sure. i’ll be hauling l with me because l has good judgment in general and isn’t biased since she doesn’t know p at all (even though i admittedly have been effusive with praise for cf (and thus, by proxy, p)). p seems strangely eager to bring me into his flock, and i can’t confidently say that his motives are not coloured in any way which is similar to c and her bbtc conversion stuff (comparison brought up by g).

thing is, p is rather introspective and sound in doctrine and i trust him to the extent that i would like to believe his intentions are pure...but i’ll only be able to tell for sure if i see him and his rhc friends and can get a clearer feel of their intentions, i guess. i loosely quote p: “i wouldn’t encourage you to leave [your current church], but i would encourage you to stay”. not sure if that can be considered praise at all - i suppose it is heartening since it means i’m not heretical/unworthy of induction into a place he clearly considers sacred/holds very close to his heart, but at the same time, i wonder if it’s a generic advertising tagline (i was half-probing when i joked with him that becoming a salesperson would be a viable alternative career path.).

another interesting revelation: p is isfp! i didn’t quite expect that...well, mostly the p part, i guess. never really stopped to categorize him otherwise, but he does exhibit similarities to me in certain senses (which is probably why we generally find each other sane). isfps are FiSe, which is interesting juxtaposed against my SiFe. it seems as though we process things very differently, yet we come to similar conclusions, especially when it comes to objective truths.

i do think p’s aux Fe helps him appreciate God’s awe-inspiring creations and see God in plenty of everyday things to a greater extent than some people (my dom Si helps me very much with this). just a random thought that i might text him about later. (i was so shocked that he was aware of dom/aux/tertiary/inferior functions...it pleased me as much as his matching bible + diary seem to “please” him, heh.)

j and p: Not Pleased at all that j seems to have judged him superficially based on his mannerisms/quirks; i don’t like people who are quick to judge + stuck in their assumptions. p commented that m seems like a godly guy (HAHA fml he also said his parents have a 13-year age gap w h o a) and candidly admitted that he didn’t know j well enough to declare anything about him with confidence.

i...am decidedly unimpressed by j for now, because i did make sure to clarify with j and what i got from that conversation (i might be wrong! i definitely have to clarify this as it Greatly Displeases me) was that p’s mannerisms and their doctrinal disagreements (which are relatively trivial + i’m sure j knows on some level that p is logical and would never consciously take an entirely biblically-indefensible stand) are what give j the impression that p is weird/not-entirely-sane. ugH no don’t ruin your day thinking about this shh brain

ameens: sacrificed suite photo/hangout time at roc’s farewell event for ameens with j, j, j, zy, zp, k, r. (interesting how as an isfj i called up my mental snapshot of the scene where we were talking about j being a mole to recall who was there.) didn’t even eat but i did bring bubble tea so it wasn’t too bad. just a really chill session (my first time going to ameens!! isit devirginizing march lmao) where i mostly laughed because i was so drained from the good talks with p. ubered back to utown with j and r, made plans to study with k tomorrow (today).

g and rape: talked about the broadly mini-docu on revenge porn with g (which mostly involved me being horrified), and somewhere along the way the conversation segued into me mentioning invisible wars and we arrived at the thordis elva/tom stranger TED talk. which, on closer inspection, reads like a load of bs to me. seriously, counting the total number of seconds in 2 hours, even though she claims to be drifting in and out of consciousness? simply preposterous, from a medical standpoint. 

more on thordis elva/tom stranger: the way i see it, it was either dubcon (since she never states she explicitly said ‘no’ or fought back, even feebly) or regret sex, and she’s just capitalizing off it now. she claims to have contributed more significantly to the book - fair enough. but he’s not allowed to profit off the book in any way. why? if he owns the crime and shares his experience to validate the true victim status of victims (in opposition to the usual culture of victim-blaming) then isn’t he entitled to enjoy some of the royalties in exchange for his sacrifices in terms of stability and (denial-turned-)peace of mind he gave up? if their story is to be believed, it happened years ago. he could have never owned his actions. he could have ignored her. it’s commendable that he responded, and owned it. thinking about the biblical idea of “tsedeq” - restorative justice - this is a prime example (again, if it is to be believed.)

i did a quick google to see if anyone else had pointed out the logical loopholes and nothing. (apart from a fantastic video done by some girl who reminds me of quinn fabray (a compliment of the highest order, by the way.) some people were disgusted to see that he had gotten redemption/absolution in any sense of the word, some people thought he deserved harsh punishment, etc. what about her? i think that victim-blaming is horrific and unjustifiable in most rape cases, BUT in this case, i’d be hard-pressed to agree she was entirely blameless.

kt: remembered she has her chinese mod final tomorrow (again, today) so i popped in to wish her good luck/ended up hanging out with her for a bit! pleased.

summary: many social much tired so happy.