#The people of Palestine are able to rise against their oppressor and are able to organise and to lead their liberation movement and have

[ladychlo]

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[prettyyoungtragedy]

Free Palestine!

I was six…six years old when I was taught about Quds, shown the beautiful golden dome of Qubbat al-Sakhra, when I was taught about the beautiful olive farms, the welcoming people,about the richest and deepest history a land could have, the prophets that had walked this land, the people who stood against crusades and kept alive religion and peace in Masjid-al-Aqsa, the deep love and courage that is carved into the souls of palestinians for their land, when I learned to love Palestine like it was where my heart always belonged. 

I was eight when we painted flags and watched our parents shed tears over the loss of lives of our palestinian brothers and sisters. When they marched in solidarity and gathered communities together to donate to help our brothers and sisters in Gaza, Ramallah, Jenin, the West Bank, Nablus, Haifa…I was eight when I saw the blood of martyred Palestinians on a bloodied hospital floor and the media calling their resistance terrorism. 

I was ten and I sang From the River to the Sea, for my brothers and sisters in palestine. 

I was twelve and I made bracelets with my friends to sell and raise money to send to our brothers and sisters in Gaza. and I was twelve when they called people who looked like me and my family, terrorists. 

I was fourteen, and then sixteen and eighteen and twenty, and I still said FREE PALESTINE! When I cried when I saw photos of the elderly being abused at Al-Aqsa when they just wanted to speak to their creator in the house his holy prophets constructed in his remembrance. 

I was twenty two when I witnessed Israeli brutality in Gaza, in Ramallah, in Jersusalem. Persecuting the people of Palestine for simply being. Walls constructed to keep them in, bombs dropped on homes, children orphaned and still I cried Free Palestine but Palestine had a smile on its face. It’s people loved and lived and said: 

“حَسْبُنَا اللَّهُ وَ��ِعْمَ الْوَكِيلُ”,

“Sufficient for us is Allah, and [He is] the best Disposer of affairs.”

Then I was twenty four, and twenty six and we still cried Free Gaza, help the children of Palestine, free Palestine. 

And now I am almost thirty, and I am watching and my heart is crying, broken, my eyes have not been able to look at the world the same, I feel as if I am watching my own brothers and sisters die again and again. We are watching Palestinians die by the thousands, every video brings me to tears and i feel as if I cannot breathe, the sadness that has taken over me is a shadow when I compare it to the horrors the Palestinians are living at this very moment. We beg the world to see us as more than human animals, we beg the world to help Gaza and the children of Palestine. We have to convince you all we are humans, who deserve a chance to live, that this is immoral, we have to justify WHY we want the right to live? We are watching a genocide, children dead by the thousands and hospitals unable to cope with the death tolls and no one who wants to stand up to this oppressor but the Palestinians … The Palestinians' bravery and courage and absolute devotion to their faith is simply stunning. They repeat again and again “God is sufficient for us” and I feel as if I am the loser…they have such a love and fervor for their land and their faith that even in the face of death it isn't something worth giving up. 

And their love of Palestine has brought such unity around the world, that we all feel as if Palestine has been in our very souls from the beginning of time.  We are in the streets by the hundreds of thousands now, screaming FREE PALESTINE, and I am so filled with pride for their resilience that has driven us all. And Palestine will be free from the river to the sea, they will rise up again and every Palestinian child who left their heart in the beautiful lands of Al-Quds will get the chance to return and walk the land the prophets walked and sing in the fields their ancestors were forced to give up and they will be free.

As I grew older I began to realize, the saying Palestinians shouted with such fervor “By soul, by blood, we'll defend you oh al-Aqsa!” is the embodiment of Palestinian resistance and love for their homeland. And now I know love, dignity and courage were born in Palestine, a land that was created for peace but never saw a peaceful day. 

Free Palestine…

[matan4il]

A part of me is terrified of what will it take for most of these "anti-zionists" to realize that there has been a large rise of antisemitism, specifically in the left.

Will it be another mass shooting at a synagogue, but this time done by an anti-zionist college student? Will it be another October 7th? Or even worse?

Idk what it will take for these people to realize they're being blatantly antisemitic, evidence won't work, and I doubt every single person here can get a check from reality.

Hi Nonnie!

I'm not sure there is anything that will make them recognize this left wing antisemitism, but more importantly, I don't think anything can make them care about it. Take the Holocaust, did the Nazis need its full scale to be published, to realize that Jew hatred was on the rise in Europe at the time? No, they knew. They just didn't care. It wasn't a problem. If anything, it was a good thing.

The anti-Israel crowd has cast Jews as the ultimate evil in their world view (powerful, rich, capitalist, white, colonizers, oppressors, representatives of the west), so at this point, antisemitism doesn't bother them (except they will still call it out when it comes from white supremacists, and they think this "proves" they're not antisemitic). It's not a problem to them, it's the "right stance" against oppressors. That's why they can look at Oct 7 and justify it, dismiss its horrors, or (when called out on the double standards they're employing to do the former) deny they even happened. And it makes them feel good, they think they're on the right side of history, and that this proves their moral superiority (just like the Nazis' antisemitism boosted their sense of racial superiority).

Oct 7 was... as extreme as I hope we'll ever see the Israeli-Arab conflict get. It was the single bloodiest day for Jews since the Holocaust, but also the single bloodiest day in the conflict. I went back and forth over every event in the conflict, and I can't find a single day that was as bloody as this, not on the Israeli side, and not on the other side. And the anti-Israeli crowd still don't care, showing it's not really about human life to them, or they would.

If Oct 7 didn't get to them, nothing done to the Jews ever would. Maybe if they'd end up being victimized by this same sort of hatred and violence, maybe that would change their POV, though I still wouldn't wish that on ANYONE, and I suspect some would be able even then to employ the kind of mental gymnastics that explain why what was done to the Jews was just, while what was done to them was wrong.

And in the context of the rise in antisemitism globally, outside of Israel, if they don't feel any symapthy upon seeing the vids of Jewish students having to barricade themselves inside a uni library for almost an hour, while an angry mob bangs on the doors, chants "From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free," and the Jewish kids have to wait for the police to get them out safely, or upon learning about the homicide of a 69 years old Jewish man just because he was out demonstrating, or care about the countless vids with testimonies from Jews the world over talking about how scared they are, or stop to wonder why are there swastikas at anti-Israel rallies, then these people are too far gone. They just don't care about Jews.

What I think matters is to relentlessly call them out on their antisemitism, to make sure they never forget they're vilifying Jews (and the Jewish state), and treating Jews with complete indifference when it comes to Jewish rights, safety and lives. I believe we need to make it socially unacceptable to treat Jews this way under the guise of being anti-Israeli, just like it is socially unacceptable to say they're gonna go "death con 3 on the Jews." And I think it matters that we keep talking to the people who aren't brainwashed, who do care about Palestinians lives, care about those for real (not just as a tool to attack Jews), and at the same time they care about human lives for real, so they're capable of feeling real empathy for Jews. It matters that we remind them, that true compassion takes both sides into account, and advocates for what is best for both in this conflict. And that this IS a complex conflict, one in which there are no clear cut villains, and no easy solutions, but we have to keep striving to make it better even when it's hard.

I'm doing my best. The more of us do this, the more hope there is.

Thank you for this ask, I hope my reply somewhat helps! Have a good day and take care! xoxox

(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)

[orc-apologist]

The thing is that the boycotts are not going to do anything. There are various reasons for boycotts, the way people do them today, not working.

First and most importantly, it places the pressure on the wrong people, which is the consumer. As much as people like to think so, the consumer has next to no power over his own consumption. We all need things, we all have different budgets, and we all different venues available to us. If people said to boycott Walmart for example, how would someone from Backwoods, Texas where there's no other grocery store for miles do that exactly?

Second, it is actively harmful because it placates people. Those who have the ability to choose their own consumption so thoroughly will rest on the laurel of not buying McDonald's, as if that is actually going to change anything. We can't do this through the choices of the individual. This has to be collective. Not only do you have to organize people, you would have to give them alternatives. Feed them, supply them with clothing, etc, everything they can no longer reliably get because of the boycott. Even then, i genuinely do not think it would work. Besides, now I'm just describing a strike, which would be way more efficient.

Third, why do we need to continue to pay for the crimes of the rich? That's it, just a simple question.

Fourth, in Keynesian politics, low sales do not hurt big companies. They are so thoroughly protected by the state that they will always be bailed out.

There is another way, though, and it's... well, I'd like to say it's simple but it's actually quite a lot of work. That work is organizing for socialism. True, genuine socialism. Worker's control of the state and of all means of production. If we claim that power we will truly have the power to shape the flow of money. That is how we get out of the war machine.

We organize with the working class. We urge them to strike. We give them programs to work towards, together. That is how we change society, by raising the working class to the ruling class of society. Because when we control the means of production, we will have choice over who gets weapons, who gets money.

In short, we will be able to disarm the Israeli state, while empowering its working class to rise up against their oppressors. Those who lie to them, use the millennias of crimes committed against the Jewish people to drive them into a racist frenzy, which turns them into a docile working class, eager to be exploited by them - fight for them even.

THAT is how we liberate Palestine. Sounds utopian? Perhaps at the moment, when Gaza is being razed to the ground, but socialism is a science. In can and will work, but it needs organized people working towards it, educating themselves and acting together to mobilize the working class against the rich owners of capital towards a socialist and eventually communist future. A classless future where poor and rich, apartheid and racism, war and genocide and all the other despicable things that come with a class society are a thing of the past.

Sound good? Are you a communist? Then get organized!

[muted5ilence]

Do you wonder if the rising prices and shitty economic and political and societal and environmental stuff as a whole is kind of just to do

Erm

I dont know terms well enough, but…

Weaken everyone who can’t afford it so only the elite few survive selfishly?

If you are weak you will eventually die off

If you are weak you wouldn’t be able to fight back

But this is why a bundle of sticks is so strong compaeed to a single stick.

But they’re making sure that bundles cant form. And even if we could, they use growing technology and destroying those sticks from the inside out to ensure those bundles can be broken. Every time. Without fail.

The longer it goes on, one of two things happens. One day these twigs will finally piece themselves together, and be able to overpower the technology that breaks them repeatedly

Or they all die, rot in the ground, to be consumed by the fungi and such that take the decay to keep themselves and their interconnected web alive.

Like the whole deal with capitalism at this point (which is why I’ve liked other ideals a little more when its combined for the BETTER) is that you take advantage of others for your own gain. Be unique enough to be successful to survive, but be smart enough to abuse those that are not smart enough. Eventually it perpetuates a cycle of stupider and stupider people, weaker and weaker, more compliant and complacent. That’s what work has always been, afterall. Which is what school was meant to teach. It teaches you to be compliant, to obey, to work and toil away with your life for meaningless grades until you die. The teachers dont benefit much beyond their meager pay. Students dont benefit because the system actively DENIES what they need to learn to FUNCTION. The only beneficiaries are the ones above ALL of them. The government and corporate entities that feed off of those stupid drones. Teachers, like many workers, are NOT paid enough to actually care, and are stuck being unable to do anything. If they tried to change things or speak out or do anything that might be considered manipulating the kids to believe smth specific, anything to get people to care, they could get fired and lose their lifeline. So they’re stuck in complying in order to survive.

This should not be how a society functions EVER, but it’s the BARE BONES ENDLESS CYCLE. Wars, revolution, etc etc. Every dystopia has this. I am reminded of the promised neverland.

We shouldn’t have to feel like we need to fight back against oppressors. You always root for the underdog because that’s literally how it works in society anyways.

I’m getting mixed up in my train of thought, hard to focus, but my point still stands. Flowers blooming in antarctica had made me break down over life. I want to die but I know I can’t. I can’t kill myself or let myself die. I care too much, I think. I can’t really tell inside my head, but I think some part of me (could be survival instinct, could be smth else) is just too stubborn. I can’t NOT have hope for the future!!! I can’t!!

I can’t stop myself from hoping things will be okay in the end, which is the only reason I can’t die. Because I need to live to see better days again. Despite the objective fact that there may never be better days in all senses.

Society sucks because people are just… selfish, close-minded, and disrespectful? Like in general? All things that have likely been cultivated BY the whole capitalist system.

Politics sucks because it became capitalist. And considering the whole Palestine genocide, I am pretty sure that capitalism is just as bad if not worse than communism at this point. Could be fascism but like I said before, I’m not great with terms. But its colonialism, too. Politics sucks because it’s ran by the elderly usually, or by idiots. I stand by statements I’ve made that experts should be the ones in charge. People who have done the research, have the knowledge, who care about it actively and always, SHOULD BE THE ONES IN CHARGE OF THOSE THINGS.

It kinda bleeds into the whole mental health issues that happen, because you have people who aren’t professionals saying that people dont have any issues. Inherently, those people must have issues of their own. But they have to be out of touch or selfish or close minded (which ig is related to out of touch) BUT ESPECIALLY disrespectful to do such things. And the only ones who can actively make things RIGHT with the people who HAVE the problems, say it with me… ARE PROFESSIONALS!!

Professionals, being people who were interested in the topic, did the research, learned the skills and have the knowledge, and actively care.

You are not a professional if you do not care. Then it’s just a profession. You are simply a worker at that point.

We are led by idiots. Not professionals. Perhaps professional politicians. But that just means professionals at looking good and appealing to others. Professional actors. Actors should not get that seat of power. You cannot act your way out of your genuine beliefs and behaviors—or even lack thereof. The fate of society should NOT be determined by a popularity contest, but even in school that’s promoted!!

I stand by my belief. Professionals in the specific fields of study should be in charge, and not the ones who haven’t done the research or put in enough work (like they insist the newer generations should do). This is an idealized and general series of statements from someone who doesn’t have in-depth knowledge of language: Historians should probably be in office in the way that they could be advisors. They know what has happened, how it happened, how it affects things, and how it should be avoided. Economists should probably be the ones in charge of how the economy goes, even though I’m sure they work more like commentators. I think just in general that a whole advisory council should be made of professionals. And you need someone who knows how to listen and critically think, who cares about society as a whole, to run the country if we follow a similar structure. Traditional checks and balances are not working!!!

I was told by my U.S. History teacher, a male history teacher that I enjoyed for the time I had him (before covid hit): Normal people should be running this country. But they wouldn’t want to.

It’s so fucking true, too. But like… have a council. Of professionals. Professionals IMPLYING that they care. Not workers. Workers leads to compliance, complacency. To a damn salary.

Have people who actively research things and always want to learn and keep up with those specific things, be in charge of those things!! They know more! And it should be because they fucking CARE!

If you want this stupid structure to work, with a president, then a qualifier should NOT be age. Obviously boomers are fucking stupid anyways at this point because they’re out of touch, stuck in the past. You need an open-minded individual, who actually has a heart, that can make the right decisions! Especially in times of crisis.

Please. Let it be that people who are stronger than I am are able to fight for these things. Fight for the good causes.

I’m not mentally, physically, nor emotionally strong enough for this. I’ve been sheltered. I’m cursed with so many mental issues from trauma and abuse and likely the ways my brain wouldve been structured anyways. I could never progress at the fast pace that is expected. And I am not strong enough to fight like I wish I could.

I am simply a dreamer. Someone that has been left isolated for so long that I can only think. About nothing, about everything. And I wish I could lose hope, that I could kill myself, but I can’t. I’m a coward, always have been. I could never set myself free in rebellion to fight. I would get killed by someone sent to do so. And you would lose another human life. Insignificant only when you consider humans as stock, a number in a category. But every individual matters, I promise you. I don’t do much, but I’d like to be a person who supplies hope.

(Seriousness aside, I’ve literally been called an “emotional support creature /aff”, and a “perfect friend”, so I am completely fine with this support role.)

Please… Let there be people who can understand such messages, and who are stronger than me. Because power has always mattered in societies. Don’t let money = power in the end. Money can change, because that’s what is valued in exchange. It’s all bartering. Please, do not let cotton and paper have a higher value than that of human lives. Houses have a higher value than human lives do in the current economic state. The VALUE placed on HUMANS and THEIR POTENTIAL should NOT be LESS than that of the OBJECTS MADE BY HUMANS

Break this system down. Make it bad for business if thats what they care about. And once one thing ends, dont stop. Keep forcing their hand. Make sure that the corrupt system used to overpower us is unable to do so. If you recognize they are making advancements to increase force used, I see no reason that we couldn’t do the same. Dont play games. Its not a game. It’s life. They will see it as a game because they are winning, they made the little game with a handicap in thei favor. Turn the tables. Treat them like a game. Show them it’s more than that. Show them that it is good to care. That they dont care, and they should.

Ideally no mass self-destruction lmao, ik they need workers to supply themselves and we are the workers, so dying would mean no more supply, but they have technology on their side as time goes on, so they still dont care.

You have to make sure they CARE. CARE can do good.

Have hope for a better future where people care. Dont stop caring. If you stop caring, you comply. If you comply, you die. Hope fosters care. Have hope. If you lose hope, you cant care, and that is quite literally why suicide rates get so high, isn’t it? A hopeless situation?

That is my message. My belief. And I have certain beliefs I will always hold. They are what keep me from killing myself, afterall.

Let Hope foster Care to work with Action to bring Change.

Its the ideal family system (/hj).

[mitigatedchaos]

Remember US asians marching against "white supremacy," meaning increased attacks by conventional criminals? They were renegotiating their position within the 'progressive' coalition by demonstrating that they were willing and able to leave that coalition.

Jewish people as a group are having their position within 'progressivism' renegotiated due to the Israel-Palestine conflict, the rise of "decolonization" ideology, and demographic change within Western countries including the US. While it's true that Jewish people have historically been oppressed as a group, they can no longer have it both ways - 'progressives' see Palestine (~$4k GDP/cap) as the underdog, and Israel (~51k GDP/cap) as the (European) oppressor.

Previously people with pre-X blue checkmarks (effectively endorsement of the establishment) would make an unprincipled exception on opposition to borders, cultural policy, etc, for Israel, and rejected calls to adopt a more consistent position, presumably due to feeling comfortable within the 'progressive' coalition and not wanting to spend the resources (reputational, cognitive, etc).

Right-wingers are demanding a show of coalitional loyalty. Blaming the rise in antisemitism on white rednecks is easy because no 'progressive' will call for your employer to fire you for criticizing conventional neo-nazis. However, evangelical Christians have some of the highest favorability ratings towards Jewish people.

What is being demanded is to punch left - to attribute antisemitism towards left (and Democratic) coalition members.

This puts Jewish people as a whole in a tough position, as the contemporary Democratic Party leadership support Israel, but the next generation of leadership will have different demographics and will, unless "decolonization" ideology is dismantled, have much higher opposition in 10-20 years.

A better approach would likely have consisted of two prongs: In the US, fight the left-identitarian ideology during 2014-2022 to prevent it from getting into power. In Palestine, build the cultural capability to wind down the conflict instead of just letting Iron Dome shoot down the rockets. (That second one does sound pretty difficult, though.)

(Note that the Rationalists are disproportionately Jewish, and while many of them support increased immigration, pretty much not a single one embraced 2014-2022 left-identitarianism.)

Recent conflict has right-wingers pushing farther into anti-semitism, saw it from Elon Musk, Tucker Carlson, Charlie Kirk, but in ways that don't focus on Israel, not sure what's going on other than just a raise in salience.

[anaxolotladay]

( big fucking word dump to get my thoughts together; TW for antisemitism and a lack of editing

tentatively titled, “Lucky”, ‘til i can edit it to the essay i want to write )

❝  We didn’t know much about Jesus of Nazareth at all, but wasn’t that guy Jewish, too? He wasn’t as lucky as I was.  ❞

it took a while for me to be able to joke about being the “token jew friend”. because really, what was so “token” about it? ever since i stopped wearing my star and keeping my hair tied up, it’s harder to tell. i’ve been teased about “pointed ears” and my family’s long-passed-down “jewy nose”, but with these thick rimmed glasses, it takes the attention away. i’m aware of the privilege my skin color affords me. nobody looks too hard; i’m passing. i’m lucky, something i’ve always been told by every generation of family i meet. i’m lucky, and i know it.

my elementary schooling was private hebrew schools (on scholarship for our low income large family, where my mom worked as a school employee) between two different states. i grew up in so many jewish communities and with such a large family, i never thought of it to be so different.

that was lucky.

fifth grade- the first year of junior high- we couldn’t afford private school any longer, nor could the majority of my sixteen-person grade level. three of us switched to the same public middle school. nobody knew where we came from, but that was alright until somebody asked. Dan H. in art class asked if we were “hebrews”, because “oh, i thought ‘jew’ was a bad word”. the three of us laughed! that was hilarious! until he started interrogating us, asking us if we knew it was OUR people who killed Jesus.

we didn’t know much about Jesus of Nazareth at all, but wasn’t that guy Jewish, too?

he wasn’t as lucky as i was.

throughout middle school, more and more students had just started to learn about the Holocaust and Hitler- aka my second grade history unit, aka my family history-- and all the jokes they’d heard and read about began to make sense. the “shoah”, the “fire”, the “ovens”. hilarious. the wise words of my old hebrew teacher echoed in my ears: as long as we don’t forget, it will never happen again. but i started wondering why we had to teach THESE kids about it, and fuel THEIR jokes. middle school, it was mostly all just poorly timed jokes in bad taste.

THAT was lucky.

come high school, i shared a bus with the only other jewish kid in my neighborhood, Ari J.-- a year younger than me, left our old hebrew school a year later than me. he was a bully and i hated his guts, yet, he was kin. we didn’t talk in all my four years of high school. but at the back of the bus sat another group of boys, the ones who wore shirts that read: “That’s nice, babe, now make me a sandwich”, and called eachother “f*gs”, and told jokes in racist accents. they were larger than Ari and i combined. we kept our heads down.

they dared not crack the same racist jokes in the hallways of school-- there were black, indian, AND asian teachers around, who could call their parents, god forbid!-- but the gays and the jews of the school? outnumbered and quiet. i heard nazi jokes shouted two hallways down. i heard the laughter that followed.

one day, boarding the bus about four seats in front of Ari, the ringleader of Back of the Bus Bad Boys waltzes up the steps and shouts, “HEY, you Jew in the back!!!” i felt my blood run cold, and sat completely still as he stormed down the aisle. i smelled his gym sweat as he breezed past my seat, and exhaled a relieved sigh. except, turning around to see who he was referring to, i couldn’t believe my eyes: the lot of them had slid into and behond Ari’s seat, were tousling his hair, were shoving his shoulders and laughing. “Pretty hot outside, but not as hot as those ovens, am I right?” i couldn’t hear if Ari replied. i didn’t know what to do. the bus lurched forward and the insults were hurled louder: “Hitler wasn’t such a bad guy, y’know? Just incompetent. He never carried through, but he had the vision.” when i got home that day, i cried and cried. the next morning, i reported them to the counselor, but begged her to wait a few days to take action; what if they thought it was Ari who’d reported it? what would they do to him?

would he be so lucky again?

a year later, i’m on a trip to New York City- the second time i’ve been, but the first time alone with my mom. it was a busy day over school break, and the city was bustling-- walking back to our lodging, there was a pro-palestine rally occurring about a block away. flags were waving! people were shouting for justice! it was amazing! we raised our fists in support and kept walking. but after packing our bags and leaving the same way we came in, we stepped to the sidewalk and heard louder noise down the road. the streets were stuffed to gills, police officers stood with their backs to the rally, face to the crowd. the proud rally had turned angry, blaming not israel for their troubles, but their “rabbinic leaders”. new flags were hoisted, depicting the magen david, star of david, crossed out in red. their faces were pink with righteous fury, shouting against the ears of the officers to let them march, to take vengeance on their jewish oppressors. my mother and i ducked to the back of the crowd, removed our star necklaces, and kept our heads down. i felt the points digging into my palm. i wore it a few times afterwards-- the star i’d fawned over at our Yom Ha’Atzmaut festival, supporting local israeli immigrants, bought for me in surprise by my bubbe-- but after the chain broke, i couldn’t find it in me to wear again. i’d never felt so scared, but i emerged unnoticed and unharmed.

that was the luckiest i had ever been.

during my first year of community college, i had a class with a nazi apologist. nobody thought about it too hard, since he was also the best designer in our group, but walking to our class, i’d hear him shout from behind me: “What’s up, you fucking kike?!” i’d never heard it out loud before. when i whirled around, it turns out he was greeting his “buddy” further up in front of me. i walked a little faster to class, hoping he wasn’t suspicious of me now.

he wasn’t. how lucky of me.

on that same campus, i heard more jewish slurs than i could even recognize at the time. some i’d only read of. others were learned of in hindsight. ignorance was bliss. past tense.

i told my family these stories, face burning. my zayde’s eyebrows would raise and my mother would shake her head, recounting her own stories. my siblings had never been familiar with these terms. i wish i could apologize for teaching them.

they were pretty lucky, too.

when i transferred schools, it was during election season. i never brought up my judaism until the high holidays-- early in the school year-- when i’d need to miss class, and would be returning home to NY for a few days. even then, i told my roommates and teachers, that was it. i was alone for some of those holidays for the first time ever, and there was no community to be found. it was an irrelevant secret.

during election season, however, were the pro-Trump rallies. the protests. the women’s marches and the mud slinging. some of my friends saw words on the news that they’d never heard of before. the mistake i had made was explaining them, outing myself. again, it was no big deal at the time, my friends were supportive.

but from then on, i was referred to as one of their “minority friends”. and that was annoying, because i didn’t have the right to claim that title. i wasn’t being “oppressed”. i had just started to learn about “privilege” and “oppression” and politics and diversity. i knew i was privileged, i never had the RIGHT to claim oppression. i didn’t experience racism daily and i never would. there were people of color who were harassed and discriminated against and denied service because of the way they LOOKED, things they could not change about themselves. i will never experience that. it was 2016, i was not oppressed!

multiple times, i was introduced to others as the “jewish friend”. and it stopped bothering me, because it wasn’t untrue. apparently, jews were a rarity in these parts. it was funny. it was part of my identity. and for the most part, people didn’t care. 

then, our 45th president was elected.

within three days, over four dozen synagogues, campuses, homes and vehicles had been vandalized with swastikas. jewish cemeteries were torn apart. hasidic civilians were punched in the faces. i couldn’t bring myself to call home for an entire week, because that would mean admitting out loud that i was scared. my research writing essay that semester was a small 8-page essay, analyzing and documenting the rise in jewish hate crimes, and where they happened. i had to stay in the know. i brushed up on jewish history. i listened to family stories. i relearned everything i could so i knew how to navigate arguments, debates, and accusations. afterall, i’d been pretty sure i was the only jew on campus.

within a year, i met another one. it shouldn’t have been such a big deal, but my excitement was tangible. we’d throw yiddish back and forth and tease eachother in brooklynese or russian-bubbe accents. he knew what holidays i would refer to. it wasn’t a big part of the friendship, but it was nice to have some familiarity.  i was brought into a new group of friends who were curious, and eager to learn. i’d never thought about judaism as a culture or history before that, until these discussions ensued and i realized just how MUCH my life was shaped by it. and it was fun to share stories and meals and holidays with people who wanted to celebrate with me.

this past semester was the first time i didn’t go home for the high holidays. i found a synagogue in the next city over, and two whole other jews who wanted to celebrate with me on campus! on yom kippur, we met up to break the fast. they were clearly as excited to meet another jew as i was.

unfortunately, i was a girl. a “nice jewish girl”, if you will. their view bled into the conversation. and on top of that, one of them wanted to chant the barucha, loudly, OUT LOUD, in the middle of a dinner-busy campus dining hall. the other guy and i mumbled it with our heads kept down. suddenly, we were tense. we were scared. my roommates asked me why that was. i told them that you can’t just chant hebrew in public in this day and age!  why was that? have you ever heard of muslims speaking arabic in public and being labeled terrorists? do you understand the kind of danger semitic languages entail?!

we had been ignored, but some folks aren’t so lucky!

a week ago, i was walking down the hall of my class building. it was mostly empty, save for one or two other students. out of the blue, i hear one of them say loudly, “Shalom!” i spun around. “excuse me?” the girl walking behind me laughed and said, “it’s just something he does”. we walked down the hall for a few more min, chuckling about it. i asked if she or he was jewish, she said neither of them were, but thought it was hilarious when i explained how the guy had managed to say “shalom” to the only jew in the department.

i let out a breath i hadn’t realized i’d been holding. funny, right? he never would’ve guessed.

yesterday, at 9:50 AM, a synagogue was shot up an hour and a half away from me. but not just any synagogue. one of the most well known conservative shuls in the Squirrel Hill area.  in particular, the one my pittsburgh family were members of. the one i had watched my two cousins become bat and bar mitzvahs on the bimmah of. the one i had, for the first time, met three branches of family from my adopted uncles’ side, family who had welcomed me to their congregation and introduced me personally to the rabbi: “Yes! She’s our brothers’ niece! Our family has come such a long way to celebrate with us, tonight!” and then-rabbi, Rabbi Chuck, laughed a booming sound and shook my hand with both of his, cracking jokes and telling me how happy he was i was here.

yesterday, at the Tree of Life--Or L’Simcha temple, there was a baby naming ceremony- a time in jewish tradition where a new baby of the community is spoken into the family and recognized by the congregation. the rabbi will speak its names-- english and hebrew-- and the world rejoices under them.  yesterday, there were twins to be celebrated. yesterday, three congregations had come together under one roof, so many families and friends supporting and celebrating the new arrival.

yesterday, a celebration of life turned into a vigil mourning death.

eleven shulgoers were not so lucky.

i have never met Rabbi Hazzan Myers, but i know he’s taken care of the community since then. i can’t imagine the fear he must have felt, after hosting the tight-knit community he’s helped build, harbor, and lead. i can’t imagine walking back into that building a week from now and continuing to read torah, the way i know he will.

Rabbi Hazzan will forever remember how lucky he was, to make it to next week’s torah portion. living in a community that has always been safe, and hospitable, and embraced eachother as neighbors, the remaining minyan will never forget how lucky they were, as well.

my family in pittsburgh-- aunt janice, uncle steve, and cousins hannah and tyler-- were so lucky to have stayed home, yesterday morning, and i am so lucky that we live in a day and age of cellular devices.

i was on the phone with my father and grandfather, both in florida, when dad received a group text between his brothers, their sister janice, and him, assuring everyone that they were home safe. he asked me to look up what happened in pittsburgh.

i never thought it would be my family.

i never thought it would be their home.

12 casualties could have been 16.

i’m so lucky it’s not my family sitting shivah, this week.