#The one and only instance in which ‘do you know who I am’ is warranted and justified

[aeolianblues]

Girl they are arguing with Rusty fucking Egan (Ultravox, Vidage, god knows how many other genre-defining hit bands of the 80s New Romantic scene) about how Spotify cheapens music.

[andivmg]

My experience with Luke (Punz)

CW: toxic relationship, racism, dubious consent

I know in the past i said that i would no longer speak about him publicly, and when talking about my experiences with abuse and emotional mistreatment i begged to keep it anonymous but after reflecting on this for a week and seeing so many incredibly smart and strong women tell their stories. they have given me the strength to say his name.

this is really scary to talk about because of the copious levels of harassment i have received from his fans in the past so if this spreads or gets out of hand i will simply log off.

If you read my last post, i nicknamed him 1.

So aside from everything i said there, there were a lot of things i didn’t include because they would’ve made it obvious that it was him and it could potentially backfire on me so, i’m very afraid to post this. but i’m going to do it scared anyway, because it’s not fair that he gets to just go and live his life worry-free as if he didn’t practically ruin mine.

Because I already made a very lengthy post about him, i won’t include everything i said last time to avoid being redundant but if i repeat myself, please bear with me.

In our year long relationship i had to endure emotional neglect, gaslighting, verbal abuse, one instance where there was dubious consent, and much more.

Starting off at the beginning of our relationship, that’s when i was getting copious amounts of hate and harassment from his fan base (warranted or not), he decided that our relationship must be kept private. he said it was to “protect” me from his fanbase when in reality it was to protect himself. it was so he wouldn’t get all the backlash i was getting. this is funny because one of the things i got called out for was saying the B slur (derogatory term used against mexicans/latinos). I won’t get into the nuances of if i could say it or not as a puertorican because that’s discourse that does not pertain to this specific situation. But you know who definitely can’t say it? A white boy from Massachusetts. When i was getting cancelled for this and getting thousands of tweets calling me names, he decided that was the perfect time to say “I mean you are a b***** aren’t you? my little b*****.” Now, he said this completely unprompted. I was in the process of writing my apology and he just said that. I tell you this because i immediately shut him down and told him that there was no universe in which it was okay for him to say that word and especially not one where he could just call me that. While i was reprimanding him, he was smiling and laughing. he apparently found it amusing to call me a slur. regardless, he gave me a half-assed apology and said he wouldn’t do it again. and he didn’t. but this wasn’t the only time he was weirdly racist to me. this was my first time being in an interracial relationship so i was led to believe that this was normal by all the white people around me at the time. But, sometimes my spanish accent would come out and he would make fun of me and the way i pronounced some words. He also refused to visit me in Puerto Rico when i lived there or come meet my family when i really wanted him to because he “didn’t like the heat” or “it’s dangerous there isn’t it?”. Once, while we were watching season 2 of Bridgerton, he implied that the Sharma sisters were “too dark” for him to be attracted to them. This hurt me because they are brown skinned girls. I am a brown skinned girl. Then this, combined with the fact that he told me once he wasn’t attracted to me made me feel like my skin color was unattractive. These are only a few examples i can think of at the moment, but i’m sure there were more. Our relationship ended in 2022 so some of my memory is a bit hazy. But, I do remember feeling inferior to him throughout the relationship because he was white and I was not. I chalk that up to all the micro aggressions i had to deal with because i had never felt that way around white people before.

Another thing i had to endure was him constantly making me feel like he was embarrassed to be with me. Because i was cancelled, he didn’t want to associate with me too much. He did defend me on multiple occasions, I’ll give him that. But, he only did it because his name was getting dragged in the mud along with mine. Excusing my actions made him look better for being around me. In reality he didn’t really care. Because he was such a big content creator and someone i looked up to professionally, I took his advice as law. He told me to tone down my personality, to keep a low profile, to change things about myself to be more palatable to his audience. The same audience that spoke about me like “The pussy can’t be that good punz please stop defending her”. So i changed a lot of things about myself and my content to better suit what his audience liked. He made me feel like if his audience liked me, he would be public about our relationship and stop hiding it. He told me the reason why he wanted to keep our relationship a secret was because he didn’t want to get hate for it. But this wasn’t true. On my 20th birthday he went to Las Vegas for a twitch rivals event. That night i asked to facetime him to say goodnight and he refused because he was at a hotel room with his friends and he didn’t want them to know that we were together. It was as if my mere presence or the utterance of my name was a source of embarrassment for him. And he didn’t let me forget it. It wasn’t just a public thing at that point. He didn’t want people to know we were together, period. This was devastating to me because I would talk to all my friends about him. I was so proud to be with him and I was just one more problem to him. He made me feel so small and insignificant just because his fans didn’t like me.

He would berate me a lot. Not just due to getting heat online, although he did do that a lot. But in general whenever we would get into an argument or a disagreement he would always call me names like annoying or weird or stupid. He would raise his voice at me if i did something he didn’t like and call me an idiot. And that really hurt, i felt like i couldn’t bring up anything or do anything without getting insulted. If I hadn’t seen him in a few days because he was too busy streaming and i asked to hang out he would call me needy, clingy, and annoying. Granted, he might not have been wrong, but that is not something you say to someone you claim to love. He also insulted me when i was in depressive episodes. I have BPD and at the time i was not being treated properly for it. So, I was all over the place emotionally and he was what i clung to for validation, reassurance, and love. I talked to him when we first started dating about my disorder and told him that if it seemed like something he couldn’t handle that he could opt out of the relationship. I guess he didn’t think it was that bad or something idk because whenever i had really bad depressive episodes, he would tell me I was too sad to hang out with. He said that my sadness was a burden to him. Which would be fair. But, once my mother had a conversation with him about me. She told him that i am someone who needs a lot of love and caring. She said that if he wasn’t willing to put in that kind of effort into a relationship to just leave me alone. He reassured her that he would be there for me no matter what. He told my mother that he would protect me and my heart. He did not. He took all the warnings I gave him and ignored them and then made me feel like I was the problem. And even worse, he would say that i was pretending to be sad to get his attention when he would neglect for days at a time.

There were also some smaller things like the fact that he made me feel really guilty whenever he would spend money on me. Also, he would be really mean about my eating habits. For context, i used to suffer from an eating disorder. I was anorexic and had a really unhealthy relationship with food during high school and my first year of uni. This relationship began when i was recovering from my ED. For me, eating was really hard. So i had certain comfort foods that, while sometimes unhealthy, at least it was something to eat when i didn’t feel like eating anything. He knew this. Yet, whenever i would crave some of these foods he would call me fat. Constantly told me I’d gain weight from eating all that junk food. Saying that to someone with an eating disorder is crazy. Other smaller things were that whenever I would post tiktoks where i was lip syncing or just looking good he would yell at me and say i was looking for attention. Same with Instagram or Twitter whenever i would post photos where I looked hot. He never planned out a single date for us. I would beg him to get me flowers and he did maybe once but i’ll get into that in a bit. He would make fun of me in front of his friends to make himself look better. He let his friends say really degrading things about me in his presence. For example, once when i was showering, i overheard him on a discord call with George and Sapnap and i heard George say “if you don’t go in the shower and have sex with Andi, i will”. Once, when i was really struggling with my legs (for those of you who don’t know, i have arthritis and it’s very painful. at the time i wasn’t diagnosed but i was in a lot of pain) I literally could not walk. I had to beg him to take me to the ER because i didn’t know what was wrong with me. He didn’t want to take me but eventually i convinced him, and while we were there all he did was complain about how long it was taking and that he would have rather been at home streaming. Whenever I would talk about my interests that i was excited about like shows or books he would be incredibly uninterested and say that those things were stupid and he didn’t want to hear about them. I know all of these seem very silly or superficial but cumulatively it was awful.

Now for arguably the most serious thing i’m going to talk about. I want to preface this by saying i am just telling my side of what happened. You can come to your own conclusions about this.

On April 25, 2022 it was our one year anniversary, and i had made a dinner reservation for us. I expected him to plan something throughout the day for us to do. He told me he was going to spend the whole day playing Valorant so I got upset and cancelled the reservation. After a very heated argument, we calmed down and i asked him to come over. He came over about an hour later with flowers and drinks (I was 20 at the time so I couldn’t buy the drinks myself). He brought Smirnoffs and Trulys. For context, I am a lightweight. I always have been. I literally get tipsy on half a cocktail. And that day, I hadn’t eaten anything because i was in distress over our argument. So we get to talking and drinking. I blacked out after my second Smirnoff. Apparently I drank 3 but I genuinely cannot remember anything after finishing the second one. The next morning i woke up naked in my bed. I woke him up and asked him “Luke, why am I naked?” and he said “Because you didn’t want to put your clothes back on.” When I clarified to him that that was not what I meant, he got defensive and said that he didn’t realize how drunk I was. He proceeded to tell me that I initiated sex with him and that i was very enthusiastic about it. He said he didn’t know i could black out on three smirnoffs. He made fun of me for being a lightweight and continued to make light of the situation. Then he mentioned that i fell off the bed at some point in the night and that it was funny how drunk I was. I then questioned him. Because if he thought that me tripping and falling off the bed because i was so drunk was funny, how did he not know that i was too drunk? He responded by saying that i fell off the bed only after we were done. That day I broke up with him. I’m still really confused about what happened that night. I don’t remember anything and all I have to go on is what he said to me. We were in a relationship at the time and he says he didn’t know how drunk I was so I’m not sure what to call what happened. A while after that day, his friend that hmu while we were broken up and I started talking again and i confided in him about that night. He told me to be careful saying things like that because they could get me into trouble. I spoke to some of our other friends about it and they told me it was no big deal and that it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t know how drunk I really was. Because I don’t remember, I have been led to believe that this is not a serious matter. You can think what you want, come to whatever conclusions you want. That is just my side of the story.

I want to add that I’m not proud of how I acted after the relationship ended. I felt really angry at all the shit he put me through and I guess a part of me wanted him to hurt even a quarter of how I did. So I started talking to his friend and got involved with him. This backfired on me because his friend ended up really hurting me too so ig i got my karma. But the thing that hurt the most is that because of what I did, some of our friends took his side in the break up. I was told that I did something terrible by getting involved with his friend that he was already insecure about and that he didn’t deserve that. These are the same friends who were witness to the dumpster fire of a relationship we had and all the things he did to me. They turned their backs on me because of this one thing I did. But stood by and watched as he treated me like garbage for over a year.

I will conclude this by saying that while this relationship has been “over and done with” for almost two years now, I carry a lot of trauma from it still. I still talk about him in therapy and have had to put in a lot of work to heal from what he did and i still cannot say that i am okay. I am very blessed to now have a patient and understanding partner who has helped me heal from that trauma and i just want to quickly thank him for that. Nobody deserves to go through what I did. While yes, it was a toxic relationship, and I had a part in that, it does not excuse all the awful things he said and did to me. This is my truth, thank you for taking the time to read it.

[cl0wncakez]

Say whatever you want about the black and white anime, but the one thing i will always stand by is that IRIS AND CILAN WERE NEVER PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!

i did a full watch of the bw series a few weeks back, and the main 2 complaints i had about it were ash’s pokemon (he caught too many and most of them didn’t get enough screentime as a result) and team rocket (they were like barely there and didn’t even do the blasting off gag until the last season i think)

but for me the best parts of it were iris and cilan!!! i was kinda expecting them to be annoying cuz of all the hate they got, but i was pleasantly surprised at how enjoyable they were.

first off, i am the number 1 iris defender. all the posts i see that complain about her say the same thing everytime: “all iris does is say that ash is a little kid!”

well, as someone who’s binged the entire unova anime in like a week and a half, i can say that there is so much more to her. but for one, she doesn’t even say that ash is a kid as often as you might think. she mostly says it in the first few episodes when she first met ash. for the rest of the series, she’ll occasionally say it in passing, but it is not her one defining trait. while there are a few instances where i thought that it wasn’t warranted, there are plenty more times where ash was being big dummy and deserved it.

what people seem to forget about iris is that at the start of ash’s unova journey, iris is practically a new trainer. her axew is at most only a few weeks old, and her excadrill, while strong, hasn’t battled for who knows how long after being brutally defeated by drayden’s haxorous, leaving it in a state of shock. so obviously, she isn’t going to be the most experienced trainer out there.

iris grew up in the village of dragons, which as the name suggests, is a village inhabited by various dragon type pokemon. having spent her whole life surrounded by dragon types, iris has made it her dream to become a dragon type master. while at the beginning of her journey, she’s just with her axew, she over time has several encounters with dragon type pokemon, all of which help her better understand how to communicate with dragon types.

in one episode, she helped a druddigon out from a trap set by team rocket, while everyone else assumed it was rampaging out of anger. in another, the gang were helping out at a pokemon daycare, and in it was a deino, who was extremely shy. it’s trainer hadn’t returned for days after they said they would (the trainer ended up getting lost in a cave) and it was beginning to refuse to eat due to its anxiety. and what did iris do? she stayed with the deino the whole night, helping it relax in a place it wasn’t familiar with. it’s episodes like these that show that she’s not a one dimensional character, and like the rest of ash’s companions, she has character development.

but what helped fully flesh out her arc was when she caught her dragonite.

unlike axew, who was by her side from the beginning, she and dragonite did not get along immediately. dragonite was stubborn, wouldn’t listen to iris, and had its own way of battling. in order to become a dragon master, she would first have to understand dragonite. the trust that was built happened really slowly, but she did get there. by understanding a pokemon as troubled as her dragonite, iris would then be able to reach out and soothe her excadrill, making it confident enough to battle again, and help axew evolve after her journey with ash ended. and i think that was a solid way to end her arc until pokemon journeys, where offscreen, she fulfilled her dream as a dragon master and became the champion of unova.

now onto cilan.

cilan doesn’t get hated on nearly as much as iris, he’s more or less just forgotten about. so while i was expecting to hate iris when i first started watching, i had zero expectations on cilan. and tbh, i think he’s my favorite traveling companion?? if not than at least top 3.

cilan is the oldest of three siblings, and he first met ash and iris when ash came to battle at the triplet’s restaurant/gym. usually, the challenger only battles one of them, but ash was the first person to want to challenge all 3 brothers. when it was cilan’s turn to battle, he assumed that he would win due to him having the type advantage (ash choosing to battle with oshawott against cilan’s pansage)

well, ash won. and a few episodes later, cilan asked if he could join ash on his journey. the reason cilan wanted to come along was because he saw a new side to pokemon battling that he wanted to better understand.

something about cilan is that while he is a gym leader, he doubles as a pokemon connoisseur. a connoisseur is someone who makes critical judgements in fine arts or matters of taste. for cilan, he analyzes the bond between trainer and pokemon. and during his battle with ash, he evaluated his and oshawotts bond based on their battle. and he dug INTO ash, almost outright insulting his capabilities as a trainer, due to his assumptions from ash using a water type against a pansage.

but the thing is, cilan was wrong. in the end, oshawott ended up winning with ash’s strategy and support.

he fully expected to win, and was given an entirely new perspective of battling after seeing ash pull through. like cooking, pokemon battles aren’t just about type advantage and throwing moves out. it’s about thinking outside the box and trusting your pokemon, which ash accomplished by having oshawott use its scallchop to deflect a bullet seed attack. wanting to become a better trainer and connoisseur, cilan tagged along to gain a new understanding between trainer and pokemon.

and outside of his arc, cilan is just a genuinely fun character!!! did you know that along with being a pokemon connoisseur, this man is also a fishing, cooking, detective, judge, and film connoisseur??? and he can cook!! (EDIT: people are mentioning that he is also a train connoisseur!!! sorry :( i forgor)

cilan is shown to be more composed with his emotions than the previous traveling partners ash had. he also plays a mediator role whenever ash and iris bicker. and remember, cilan is the oldest sibling of 3 triplets, so he’s likely had to play mediator countless times if his brothers ever argued. ash and iris also seem to have a sibling-like bond, so their clashing was probably similar to what cilan faced before with cress and chili.

as i said, cilan is much more patient and gentleman-like. so the few moments where he genuinely loses his shit leaves a stronger impact.

the most notable example was with skyla, who instead of fulfilling her gym duties, played out battles in her head, and made her own judgements on if she could win a battle or not. this lead to challengers either being pushed away without a chance to battle, or given a gym badge without deserving it.

now cilan, who is a gym leader, sees this as a disgrace. it goes against everything a gym leader is supposed to do. skyla was lazy, arrogant, and wouldn’t do her job, which set him off. while he did lose against skyla, it was a big character moment to try and defend his honor as a gym leader.

overall, cilan is soooooo cool you guys don’t get him the way i do!!! i am the number 1 cilan fan!!!!

i think the reason people complain about iris and cilan more than any other companions ash had is because they were different.

iris had a completely different goal than everyone before her, it was a complete 180. she had zero interest in contests or performing, her dragon master dream was brand new in the anime. additionally, her relationship with ash was more like siblings than best friends, which likely made some viewers think their bickering was annoying.

and cilan. poor guy didn’t even have a chance from the start. not after brock was around for like a billion seasons.

overall, the black and white anime does have its problems, as does every pokemon anime. but leave iris and cilan out of it THEY ARE INNOCENT PARTIES :(

[italianpersonwithashippersheart]

IQIYI is a Chinese streaming app so of course they would label anything with LGBTQ content as restricted even when it’s not warranted. Nothing I’ve seen from We Are suggests that it will go any higher than pg-13. So everyone needs to lower their expectations for that PhumPeem scene. It will be the usual Gmmtv ‘spicy’ scene: AWKWARD! featuring light closed mouth kissing, hands interlocking, shirts come off and then the camera pans away. Only Friends was not the norm for them, and it even that show never hit DMD, MMY or BOC levels of spice. To be honest I don’t think a show like We Are needs it anyways, considering it’s been mostly fluffy and friendship vibes.

Ok first I want to say thank you for the ask and I do agree that it would be weird to have one spicy scene when their other sex scenes have been very mild. And the show overall doesn't really need it.

A couple of the BLs there did have 13+ and like I said in my post a lot of their dramas are legitamately rated 18+ and it does seem that @poetry-protest-pornography might have been correct with saying that anything with more then a couple of simple smooches might get the 18+ rating that said I do not know what their criteria is for Het shows I don't know if they have similar standars for those as well they might just have a different rating system.

I am not super comfortable with any type of blanket statements not just in this instance but at all.

Also I don't actually agree that GMMTV has only awkward sex scenes. Yes not every drama needs explicit sex scenes and yes I do think different standars might be at play here, but plenty of their shows have conveyed a lot with simple pan away scenes:

Moonlight Chicken and Bad Buddy for exemple.

Even Wandee Goodday right now which has made strides in term of sex rep, with references to Lube and 69ing and explicity asking for a partner to pay attention to their dick, and while it might not have been as high heat as other shows it certantely conveyed a lot about their sex life.

Not to mention the Warp Effect and 3 Will Be Free --- I also want to point out that I have been weirded out before that their het shows - or at at least non bl shows - can have open kink but none of their male relationship have ever had, if the puppy play in The Warp Effect had been gay that wouldn't have been allowed on YouTube no matter who owns what even with no nudity. The world is very cruel and hypocritical about queer media and obviously it isn't the creators fault.

Only Friends was higher heat for GMMTV but not the only thing there, even if you are correct nothing is as high heat as the other companies you mentioned.

That said obviously GMMTV being the disney of BLs like @bengiyo (I hope you don't mind the tag - it honestly a great way to describe what GMMTV has become) has refer to them probably will always tend more to pan away sex scenes in their bls.

Obviously you are not wrong for feeling that away about GMMTV sex scenes I just think there is plenty of good in there as well I personally liked the AouBoom scenes even without being super into the drama. Sometimes you don't vibe with specific type of chemestry I have been there. I think PondPhuwin were pretty amazing in Never Let Me Go chemestry and intimacy wise and their sex scene in NLMG was amazing.

[hesitationss]

fb+/meta or whatever is one severely unfunny joke. i know i am mostly a hater of social media, but i don't see how threads is going to be better for usability and reach. especially given how shit numbers are on IG (i get more noted "per capita" of followers on tumblr and twitter for untagged posts). i already made a small thread of zucc apps being shit which I'll copy paste here. i don't know how people are thinking threads is going to be better than any of the twitter alternatives when it's most likely the WORST option out there. anyway-

the reason why the other twit replacement apps aren't as insidious as threads (zucc/fb owned) should be obvious, but i'll list some things:

• infamously on zucc platforms you can get reported for saying "white people" which is why so many of us say yt now (a bit of poc social media history for u from the 2010s)

• private messages are sold/given to police no warrant: this could be anything used against you, could be protest info, where you've been, etc.

• right wing propaganda/misinfo is lucrative for facebook. this is something that heavily affects the global south btw.

• they lie about views and growth for business accounts to keep you on their platform. the case i know best is that they inflated college humor's analytics to compete w youtube. this resulted in so many businesses throwing money and labour at facebook w out much return.

also zucc sucks, he's pure evil... like u don't need me to get into *that* hopefully

addition:

omg 🙄 so shocked 🙄 that zucc is further propelling nazism on his latest app that has the exact same content moderation as all his other fucking apps lol 🙄 who would have guessed ?

Far-right figures, including Nazi supporters, anti-gay extremists, and white supremacists, are flocking to Threads (Media Matters)

Adding sources:

Point 1 - i can't find any formal articles that document the particular insidiousness of this, but I and many others who were in BIPOC only "leftbook" groups had either our accounts or groups we joined completely nerfed for using language against white people. hubs that had been for info dissemination, discussing theory, and organizing were marked as hate speech or reported by white reactionaries (even "leftist" ones)

Point 2 - Has been apparent since Michael Brown's murder by police in 2014 and the protests following, but was esp apparent in protest following George Floyd's murder and subsequent protests.

FBI trawled Facebook to arrest protesters for inciting riots, court records show (NBC News)

Point 3 Links - Facebook Admits It Was Used to Incite Violence in Myanmar (NY Times) | Whistleblower: Facebook is misleading the public on progress against hate speech, violence, misinformation (CBS) | How Facebook and Google fund global misinformation (MIT Tech Review)

Link for point 4 - Adam Conover talking about College Humor's inflated FB numbers (plus many other articles have been written about this)

more on the privacy shit - sex workers who have used fb AND ig on burner emails with fake names, had their emails and real names auto linked bcuz of how much a little bit of information goes. how fucked up is that.

How Facebook Outs Sex Workers

BTW i have been preaching this for years but if you want to learn why our internet is fucked up, learn about what happened with net neutrality cases in the US, and then later, SESTA FOSTA (primarily targetting sex workers but is the reason why everything is censored now). ppl online have been warning everyone about this for years, but you are just now experiencing the consequences. but again, nobody listens to things that target primarily sex workers.

plus from a functional standpoint, if you want to delete your threads account, your instagram is deleted as well. like it really doesn't seem worth it for people who are desperate to find the social media that will stick. i don't have anything nice to say about any of the other social medias except that some Mastodon instances do a great job at keeping nazi's out and using alt text, but the bar is extremely low and everybody else is even lower ^_^

[princesscolumbia]

I am convinced that a lot of management are addicted to crisis mode.

So, bear with me on a little background; there's studies (because I'm not the kind who bookmarks this stuff when I find it because I never think I'll need it until suddenly I do, I don't have the links, sorry. I welcome someone who has them to comment and correct me if necessary) that show that people can get addicted to crisis mode, that is, the mode your brain chemistry is in when you have something that could be life or death and obviously you wanna choose life.

There is nothing inherently wrong with crisis mode in humans. It can, in fact, be one of the most beneficial things you do in a situation where a crisis actually exists. Rent is due and someone stole your money, sideswiped in traffic and having to deal with all that, let alone the fallout. Anything that warrants a trip to the ER, etc. Crisis mode is your friend in any of those situations. It shoves aside all the mental and emotional clutter, often gives your energy a boost, juices your metabolism, etc.

Problem is, humans aren't meant to stay in crisis mode. It literally becomes too much of a good thing; sleep deprivation sets in, anxiety rules your life, you need calories because your system is burning them at a frantic rate. This is how you burn yourself out.

During the pandemic the company I work for had a record number of service requests come in from our clientele. Without giving too much out in the way of detail, the vast majority of the work was simply stuff that people were noticing needed done because they were now home 24/7 when they used to be gone from home 50+ hours per week. Some of it was legitimate emergencies that were going to cause damage to people or property, but a lot of it was just , "Hey, I noticed this, fix it."

My job was to go through the list of the service requests and get them scheduled or otherwise off the list. We had to go through all of them before the end of the day every day. Which is nearly impossible when you have 600 of them and 300 are being created every day.

The litany was familiar:

"We need to buckle down and just cram through this"

"All hands on deck"

"Mandatory overtime until it's done"

etc.

Now in that instance it made sense; record numbers, no increase in staffing, a hard limit on being able to add new people, hell, they couldn't even fire people because there was no way to know when they'd be replaced.

But then time dragged on, we started to get a handle on it, I got so good at my job I was not only handling the 600-900 service requests I was taking on some of the manager's tasks that happened to dovetail into my job duties as well.

But we kept getting demands from the VP suite to have everyone "buckle down" and "all hands on deck" and "five markets are behind again" and...

My team (I wasn't the leader, but we got really good at our jobs and so we wound up being a team) kept getting called in to troubleshoot other markets. We'd knock the workload down to a normal, manageable level (and I had numbers to prove they were manageable, so everyone knew I knew what I was talking about)...but within a couple weeks it was "all hands on deck because there's more work than xyz team can handle."

Finally I started asking, "What's the plan to stop being in crisis mode?"

I got the blankest of confused stares you have ever seen.

"We do things the way we do because we're in crisis mode, right?"

"...yeah?"

"So what's the plan to not be in crisis mode?"

"...I don't...understand?!"

So I stopped listening when the panicking and the screams for all hands on deck went out.

Sure, I did my job, but when people tried to push for me to work faster than I was (I was one of the consistently fastest workers in the company) or do x more work than I was supposed to do, I just asked what this was an emergency for. Is someone going to be injured or someone's property damaged if we don't do this thing right now? No? Okay, I'm going to do this over here, which is going to result in damage or injury if we don't take care of it.

Eventually, people learned to not act like everything was a crisis around me...because it wasn't. I just didn't put up with it.

To this day people will slip into crisis mode when they think something is an emergency. When I'm able to produce hard numbers to show that no, this isn't an emergency, we deal with this all the time, you're just perceiving an emergency because you're addicted to the rush of crisis mode, they have to step back and re-evaluate what they're doing. They usually don't like it, because they realize I'm right, and people hate when someone else is right about them being wrong.

please please please remember that no matter what your manager says, it is never that serious. unless you are literally performing surgery or defusing a bomb, it simply is not that serious

[intimate-confessions]

How Her Woolfy Shall Devour His Minx

(30 minute read)

Listen, my gorgeous Muse

Be attentive so You shall know

Before more precious time dissolves away

I'd love to tell You of a splendid intention

Something of a life long desire

Such a moment is not of an every day occurrence

Nor shall it be forgotten from my memory

Though it must be experienced first hand

As any interaction between us must be sacred

As are the intentions between us

So as You are nestled onto my arms

I have devised this ritual

To which shall come true with You

Only You

Would You approach me?

Join me in this bed?

Yet I shall not be the one to lay on it

Feel free to be comfortable

Cradle Your body onto Your back

Whether You close Your eyes

Or outstretch Your arms

It's truly up to You

Though all I ask of You

Is that You relax

Let go of everything outside these walls

And trust me

Since I don't want anything more than this

Take care my immaculate Goddess

While my eyes meet Your body first

It's the way I ensure myself of where I will go

Where I want to take You

And who I have the pleasure of company

This gaze will be drawn lower and closer

As my eyes will be parallel to Your body

So I may observe You

Almost as a predator is attentive to his prey

For very different reasons

Yet somewhat the same

My heart shall delight in watching You breathe

A joy beyond words

As The light of Your skin glows before me

Not a single detail shall escape my attention

Not Your finger tips

The smooth red undertones

Nor the curves along Your hips

Even through the softness of these toes

To which shall acquire an audience very shortly

But not before I begin to draw my finger unto You

Very slight, with immense care

Who is this that I am with close proximity?

Such a marvelous occurrence this is

As we have been so apart most of our lives

Yet there is something we both cannot deny

Fate brought us here this evening

It was the cruelty of this world that kept us apart

But it is the yearning of our hearts

That bring us together

My fingers unto Your skin

Sharing body warmth

At long last

So where shall my caress acquire it's purpose?

On the side of Your hips of course

Lest we remember that You are still with garments

This pretty evening dress

Which is but a container for this body

Such a wonderful and gorgeous body

Hush!

Lose those thoughts of imperfection

Never mind those things about any shortcomings

About Yourself

Since for now, as does this occasion

There is no judgement

Devoid of inadequacy

Because You belong to me

And You are my Minx

To whom I shall shortly devour

My fingers of both hands

Draw along your sides

From both Your hips down to your legs

And back up again

This grin upon my face

Doesn't justly express this satisfaction

Nor do these touches

Accurately show the desperation I have

For this moment

Again, I gaze with intent

But with certain attention

For Your natural reactions

I know how You're enjoying this

Letting the sensations take You over

By Your gentle reactions

Also by the depth of Your breathing

And the slow sway of Your waist

I will never draw away from this

For this is a gift You give to me

As much as this is for You

These fingers now move in between

From the insides of Your calves

To the softness between Your knees

I shouldn't dare move too fast

This isn't an instance to be rushed

Though my hunger for You intensifies

These touches keep moving over Your dress

But for the first time

My fingers slip underneath

Not too far

Just a taste

Let's not grab all the prize at once

It's slightly warmer there

Just enough to warrant a tease

And a very affective encouragement

By the way You've reacted to it

Slight twitch

And a gentle hum from Your lips

This is all the motivation I need

To proceed from here

But where do I go?

If I'd want to delight even more

Without moving too soon?

I know just the treat

Not any less desirable

To where I'd ultimately linger

These touches keep moving from Your sides

Around and onto Your calves

But they move lower

Straight over Your ankles

My hands forming a bowl

As Your heels are to be served

For my pleasure

These fashionable sandals have done You good

Bringing You this far

But for now, they must be set aside

Gently removed from my grasp

This also becomes a slow affair

Since revealing more of my Mix

Should become a ritual in it's own right

And what a gorgeous reveal this is

Creamy perfection

Delicate softness

The prints You've presented to me

I've seen these before

Are now before my eyes

Pure and marvelous!

Clean and proper of course

I remember the effort You take

Where fairy dust comes from

Amounting to this moment

For this purpose

Which now belongs to me!

Your five toes meet my five fingers

Tips to tips

I rub them together

And slowly slide them down

Gathering my fingers to the balls of Your feet

To the smoothness of Your arches

Gorgeous veins slightly visible

Again, nothing I've not seen before

Yet this time, it's with the company of my hands

This thought excites me intensely

As my fingers form a bowl again

One hand under each heel

Before wrapping them around

To grasp them firmly

I cannot refrain any longer

My lips approach them close

My eye lids draw together

While gentle kisses are planted

From Your toe tips

Onto these immaculate arches

So much joy in my heart

While keeping attention to Your motions

Smooth motions

Feminine moaning

The harbinger of my addiction

While my exploration deepens more

This isn't where I intend to stop

Nor is it where I'd draw my most gratifying delight

So as I leave kisses of reminiscence

My hands move higher along Your legs again

Past Your calves

Do You feel this?

Beyond Your knees

Can You sense my urgency?

Slowly moving up this dress

With every bit of intention

To draw Your skirt higher

Yet before I do

My face slides between Your thighs

Moving beside my hands

As I move all the more higher

And higher

Suddenly my heart beat makes itself present

While Your knee slightly bends

Let this instance become the prologue

While we enter into our destination

Even now my touches sway

moving my fingers from your hips

Moving between Your thighs

The warmth just became more intense

As is my urgency for it

So my fingers brush onto Your panties

As Your pelvis thrusts a little higher

These fingers are where they belong

Delighted in the sensation of the fabric

With the suppleness of Your skin

Suddenly it dawned on me

I don't want to be anywhere else

Not on Earth, Nor in time

And there's nothing else I want more

Than to taste the blessing of Your flower

While having nothing to do with anyone else

Other than my Goddess

So let me proceed

As if I have no other purpose

And nothing left to aspire for

Let my fingers slide over Your panties

Then curl underneath their upper edge

As the chorus defines the mood of the song

So does this become the turning point

Where the perfection of my Love is revealed

These fingers pull gently

Sliding down these panties away

Removed and set aside

My attention never waivered

From my ultimate desire

To see You in Your perfection

Is this power?

Is this vulnerability?

What She really is

Unrelenting magnificence

Astounding example of femininity

Unparalleled among any other

Reserved only to be loved

So here I am, my Muse

Here You are

Let me approach You with care

To give You what I've been wanting to give

So You may have what You've been wanting to receive

With only the sound of Your breathing

And the motion of your body

Smoothly swaying to my gestures

Let me approach You closer

Have my face be within proximity

I want this more than anything

The sensation of my fingers yield to that of my breath

Blowing between Your thighs

Now You know how hot and intense I am

How much I want You

There is never another occasion

Where my eyes had stared like this

Just as my fingers move in again

Just with a single hand

Approaching You between Your lips

One on one side, and one onto the other

My other hand grasps under Your thigh

Consider it another way to indicate

How this is driving me out of my mind

By how firmly I clinch

Yet with my fingers over Your vulva

I rub gently

Slowly

From the upper edge onto the bottom

Guided by the rhythm of Your breath

These fingers stray fromthe bottom to the top

Then down again

I'm salivating profusely

Somehow remaining calm

Dwelling in this instance

Right before I devour my Minx

My fingers over Your vulva

They rub together

Drawing right down the middle

pressing a little harder

And sliding with care

The feeling of moisture delights me

I smear just once more

Before drawing my fingers out

In a moment that is slightly out of line

I slide my fingers into my mouth

Squeezing my lips

Closing my eyes

And having a taste

Beyond any measure of delight

The first taste of my Muse

Euphoric!

Ecstatic!

Do You know I am deprived of this?

Of what You have an abundance of?

Come to prove something

We were made for each other

For an occasion such as this

While my eyes open

And without letting a single second pass

I draw my face even closer

Just enough

So I may take a breath out

And breathe You in

Mmmm

I need this

But we are not done yet

Again

I inhale

Deeply, with strenght

Even Your scent invades my being

To the point where I turn

This mind of a hungry male is released

As my primal form begins to take over

These eyes have a look of hunger

And unmet intention

So let my lips draw close

Right onto Yours

Planting a first kiss

Like a gift, given as an offering

Which is followed by another

Somehow much warmer than the last

Yet another

Lasting with not enough time

To ever be satisfying

So these kisses turn into manifestations

Of a desire beyond words

The next kiss turns into a grasp

My lips wrapping slightly

Squeezing

Soothing

Drawing away before having another

These are no longer kisses

As much as they are tastes

Inevitably, the next kiss engulfs over Your entire vulva

With slowness and rhythm

And enough pressure

To cause a gentle moan from my Minx

This is it

The culmination of my thoughts

Have amounted to this

Softness

Closeness

Heat

Let's make this go on forever

I don't want to leave

Hunger

Moisture

Unquenchable

Desire

And love

I can't hold off anymore

There's no use to resist

Any Longer

My lips split slightly enough

To allow my tongue to make way

So as these lips press over Yours

My tongue slithers between

Another taste becomes my enjoyment

So it gathers for more

Pressing further

Opening wider

Your legs shivering

Your voice deepening

Becoming louder

A wandering tongue

Seeking for Her core

While having my eyes closed

I find it

There She is

Not even the lust of a thousand Vixens

Can draw me away from Her

Not in Mind

Not in body

For She has my heart

And I have Hers

And I'm halfway there

Keeping the rhythm in mind

I soothe Her flower

With tongue moist and soft

Your cervix becomes my playground

Pressing in one moment

Caressing in another

And swalloing on occasion

Your moaning intensifies

Followed by heavy breaths

And the swaying of Your body

Where is She?

This arousal

It won't take much longer

So my fingers come again

Laying over Your lips

Right where they meet mine

So as I suckle and caress

My fingers squeeze the lips of Your vulva

Your reactions intensify even more

As does my delight

I seek further

I press on

Holding my breath

As I dive deeper

I know I can't see Your face

But Your neck is stretched

With Your arms grasping hard

I open my mough even wider

And pinching further with my lips

All the while, my tongue keeps it's motion

Wrapping around the ball of Your pleasure

I found Her

I found You

And I want Her all!

So as this rhythm persists

I use You as my guide

You let out some screams

Just as You press my head deeper

Harder

I can feel the structure of Your pelivc bones

Shrouded over the cradle of my lips

Yes!

Let me have You!

Oh yes!

YES!

Even Your leg presses onto my back

Could it even be possible

That this gives me even more delight?

So as I have a few more tastes

Swaying my tongue just enough

Squeezing my lips to their extent

With my fingers stimulating for satisfaction

I feel you let go

Your breathing changes

And Your body loses strength

This is for me to loosen up

So my rhythm slows gradually

This tongue retreats

And my pressure turns to kisses again

Just a few more

While I draw back a bit

Just slightly

As I enjoy Your scent once more

This heat

This moisture

This becomes as a reward

So let me draw further away

As I grab a towel

Just to keep You as before

Then I lower Your skirt once more

To crawl up beside You

Hush, my Minx

No need to say a word

I know how You feel

In Your ecstatic joy

With this embrace

And with a kiss on Your forehead

You shall know mine

Since this is more than erotic pleasure

This is satisfaction that is met

This is purpose

And unrelenting love

Which we were made for

[witch-hazels-musings]

Hey there! I wasn't sure if this was something you're comfortable writing, so if not, feel free to skip! I couldn't find anything in your faq but I just wanted to make sure!

Can I request a reader who never really drinks getting a little tipsy after a particularly stressful day? Just acting kind of giggly and clingy to their s/o? Nothing dubious ofc just some fluff 🥰 for Diluc, Xiao and Kaeya?

^ This made me laugh. I am a LIGHTWEIGHT, so I tend to get drunk after like ... one beer - haha! Anyway - enjoy ;) 

Tipsy, Touchy

Warning -> flirty, touching, fluff, mentions of alcohol, and getting drunk

Includes: Diluc, Xiao, Kaeya

Character x GN Reader  |  Anthology

Diluc

He’s a bit shocked when you go beyond your normal one drink, in fact, he’s a little surprised at your demeanor in general - normally you only had a drink if the event warranted it, but today, you seemed to be throwing them back all on your own 

“Did something happen?” he asks you, his attention on the third glass you’ve begged him to pour. 

“Today,” you groan, your words already slurring a little, “was … not. good.” He can see the alcohol already making an impression on your skin. Your cheeks were flushed and you kept fussing with your hair, little strands making their own decisions as if in defiance of your touch. 

“Hmm, well don’t go overboard.” 

Once you reach your fourth drink, we gotta cut you off, too drunky. And worse, you were starting to get a little handsy with the people around you. You’d already given a few of the female patrons a hug goodbye, telling them you were the designated “send-off committee”

In fact, you were having a hard time keeping your hands to yourself especially when it came to Diluc. When he forcibly switched you from wine to water you grabbed onto his arm, or tried to convince him to lean in close so you could share with him a secret - he wouldn’t 

You thought everything was funny, and he often caught you giggling to yourself or chuckling after the small conversation you and he shared 

He wasn’t really on board with your ostentatious behavior, but he did enjoy seeing you smile in the grandiose way you were - unreserved and relentless 

As the evening beings to slow and patrons leave the bar, you were trying to work out a thought in your head. It had been floating around for a while and you weren’t doing a good job keeping it off your face. 

“Hey,” you finally speak up. You wait to finish your thought until Diluc looks at you. He’s been gathering the final glasses from the tables so he takes a bit to react to you. “Come here.” You beckon, uneasily, with your finger for him to walk closer to you. 

When he does, you wave him down so his face is close to yours. 

“You.” You point your finger at him, “are my favorite person.” There is a smirk on your face and playful energy in your eyes. 

He scoffs at you and tries to retreat but you grab his face in your hands, “Wait. Wait. Diluc Ragnvindr ... “ he’s so close to you, his face, his eyelashes, his lips … it’s too much and in defeat you let him go, dropping your head in your hands. “Ugh, you are much too attractive for me right now.” 

“You are a lot of things right now.” You peek your eyes out from over your arms and see him rubbing the back of his neck, his head turned to the side. There is no doubt in your mind he is blushing. 

“You’re blushing!” you shout. The excitement of his reaction is too much to handle. 

“Shut up.” He tosses a towel your way and disappears into the back office. 

Diluc makes a mental note to not let you drink that much in public again, not only is he worried you might do something dumb, but he worries how he will keep his composure

Xiao

Xiao would have no idea what to do with alcohol. He doesn’t touch the stuff, so he wouldn’t really know the common behaviors of inebriated people 

He’d probably take whatever you were drinking and dump it out in front of you the drunker you became - he could barely handle normal humans, let alone a drunk one 

“What are you drinking anyway?” He looks at the bottle, turning it over in his hands. 

“I don’t know, I picked it up on the way out here.” You rub your hands over your face, the wine hasn’t fully hit you but you know with the amount you drank it’s only a matter of time. 

“Is it normal for humans to drink so much, all at once?” 

“Meh, maybe? Today was the worst though, so I’m giving myself permission.” 

It’s hard to tell if he would have any reaction to your tipsy behavior other than being exhausted by it

The way you laugh at things, that to him, aren’t funny or how you try to ask him really silly questions about things he wouldn’t know anything about 

Xiao is prickly, so you’d have to push through a lot of spikes to get to the gentle core he’s given you flashes of, so don’t get offended if he reacts to your clingy-ness in an irritating way 

He just doesn’t let people in very easily, and even though you two are together, and you’ve been physical before, this level of touch might be overstimulating for him 

You look at him from the floor of the inn. He is sitting on a pillow with his eyes closed. There were many nights you spent with him where you just fit yourselves into each other's space, like pieces of a puzzle nestled tightly together. He looked so regal, and you wondered how he would act if you poked at him. 

Carefully, you crawled your way over to him with wobbly limbs. When you got close enough you whispered his name. 

“Xiao…” He opened his eyes and is startled by how close your face is to him. His arms launched to his sides to steady himself as he leaned back away from your proximity. The reaction made you laugh.

“What?” 

“Nothing, I just wanted to get closer to you.” you desperately want to touch him: his cheeks, his forehead, his collarbone, his arms and hands, you wanted to touch them all. The alcohol emboldened you. You scoot closer to him, your sides practically touching, and, in an instant, you wrap your arms around his. The grip you have is possessive. 

He sighs but doesn’t push you away. So you tread onward. You slide behind him and wrap your arms around his chest, each of your legs on either side of him Rubbing your face against his back you breathe him in, he smells like rain after a thunderstorm. 

“I like you.” You place a kiss on his exposed shoulder before resting your cheek against him. 

It’s quiet for a time, all you hear is his beating heart and slow breaths. You don’t expect him to answer you, or say anything, you know he likes you by the way he lets you cling to him like this. That’s all you’ll ever need him to say. 

“Are you always going to be this clingy when you drink?” the question breaks the silence. 

“Mm, possibly, I don’t normally drink this much. Why.” You return his question with your own, slightly tilting his body to the side so you can strain your head to look at his face. 

“No reason.” Even in the dim lighting, you can see the blush on his face. 

Kaeya

Kaeya finds your behavior hilarious. He’d be so enamored with the way you were acting and amazed it happens with only a few drinks of alcohol in you

“You’re putting those away,” he’d muse over his own beverage. 

“Well,” you’d say as you empty yet another glass. “Today sucked! So i’m drowning my stress in sweet, sweet alcohol.” 

“Cheers to that!” 

When you laugh he melts, when you giggle he nearly passes out, and he’s having a hard time not fainting right now. Everything he says to you sends you into a fit of laughter and he just can’t stop himself - he’s obsessed with you and when he can see something new that he’s never noticed before he is filled with pride 

For instance, he didn’t know that when you laugh when drinking that you shield your eyes and nose and let out breathless laughter. He didn’t know that when you had several drinks you started to get louder and louder - which may have annoyed others, but he found it endearing

“... and after finishing the bottle he passed out for three whole days. And that is why our aloof bar owner doesn’t drink.” You can’t help but laugh, you’ve heard this story already but it makes you chuckle every single time. 

“Kaeya, how many times are you going to tell that story…” Diluc warns from behind the counter, his hands dangerously wrapped around the neck of a wine bottle. 

“Oh, come on. Look at how happy it’s made them.” 

“I’m cutting you both off.” 

“Hey!” Even with the cap on your drinking for the night, you couldn’t stifle your laughter. 

Normally, Kaeya is the overly touchy one. His hands cannot keep themselves from your tempting body. So when you cling to him he finds the action rather refreshing 

Wrapping your arms around his, leaning your head on his shoulder or digging it into his arm. Scooting closer to him, practically sitting on his lap, he finds it all a riot - don’t be shocked if he helps you into a comfortable position on or between his legs 

“Kaeya,” you look at him, your head bobbing around, your cheeks the color of pomegranates, and your hair falling out of place. 

“Yes, lovely?” He helps steady you, a possessive hand wrapping around your lower back and his other moving from your shoulder or lower arm, whichever one needs the most support. 

You giggle, and the sound pulls at his heart, “Do you know that you’re handsome? Like, really, really handsome.” 

“I’m glad you think so.” 

“No, listen, it’s kinda ridiculous how attractive you are. LIKE … WhO do you think you are with this face?? hmmM?” You wave your hand in front of him as if to drive home your point. You aren’t sure what answer you wanted from him, but his laughter seems satisfactory enough and you join in shortly after. 

He finds everything you do to be adorable, but multiplied by ten when you start drinking - he will always make sure you have a good time, and as long as you are safe and happy he will be there to join in on the fun

[lunarblazes]

I don't necessarily disagree with your take about mcc's ace race but I think it's just not true saying the only reason dteam is still in is the popularity. mcc people like these people!! people like to team with the dteam and have fun when they do! it is not that weird to be upset when you think youve won and then you didn't. sapnap did not complain much at all.

I think people who complain about funneling in dodgebolt (and do so in chat!) are whiny too but I not gonna make a post about it saying that mcc needs to have an intervention??

also some genuine advice do not let twitter drama affect your mcc experience.

hi!! okay this is the kind of opposing opinion i can work with, thank you anon! i respect and genuinely appreciate your response here, and i’ll take this opportunity to further clarify some things.

to your first point—you’re right! they’re not ONLY here because of their fans and it was wrong of me to make that exaggerated assumption in my post. that’s on me. i try very hard not to assume anything about ccs personal friendships or relationships with one another, and i’m sorry i did that there. HOWEVER, i feel as though i am still warranted in being upset with dream and sapnap specifically for their conduct about the ace race decision and other things in the event. for instance, the streamer i was watching was smallishbeans, who got sixth in the first run and dropped ten places in the redo. he was not in favor of a redo but acknowledged it would be the most fair thing to do. he was upset at his score drop, but never once did he argue directly with noxcrew’s choice, MUCH less in the in-game chat. because he’s an adult with manners. being upset because you got a lower score in the redo of the game is completely understandable and that’s not what i’m frustrated about. my frustrations stem from the fact that dream continues challenging and being snarky with the admins in chat when he is not and never has been in the position to make these decisions for an event. nobody else does this. everyone else is simply frustrated and moves on. nobody else feels the need to be an asshole like dream does. now, i cannot remember what sapnap did during ace race in particular, my issue is decidedly more with his behavior about build mart, but my point stands with him as well. he constantly spams messages against build mart to the point where the bit has completely run dry and it’s genuinely annoying to me. people don’t constantly reply to mcc tweets asking them to remove battle box even though it’s a few participants’ least favorite game and that’s because those participants aren’t fucking obnoxious about it. both of them need to grow the fuck up and learn how to talk to people normally.

2) funneling. i admittedly have a bit of bias here because i think funneling is fucking stupid (what a shocker, i doubt you could have gleaned that from anything i’ve ever said on this blog lol), especially with what the yellow yaks did. to me, it makes the event predictable and shows a lack of faith in your team and the fact that dream does it every fucking event no matter who he’s with gets boring as hell. the other participants seem to share my belief and it’s literally not fun to watch if they have such poor sportsmanship they can’t handle giving someone else an arrow for ten seconds, especially if those people are BADBOYHALO AND SKEPPY, WHO ARE NOT BAD SHOTS BY ANY MEANS. i don’t recall anyone saying bad things about funneling in chat, but i wasn’t fully watching dodgebolt this time, so there could have been some comments. regardless, as i’ve said before, it’s not poor sportsmanship to voice annoyances about the event. the difference between frustration and targeting hate is both patterned behavior and direct challenging, both of which dream and sapnap have done. fruitberries thinks funneling is stupid and i know this because he said it on stream. you know what i didn’t do? send hate to dream about it on twitter. i didn’t even mention funneling in my first post even though i dislike it. i wanted to focus solely on direct disrespect. while i can see your point about supposed bad sportsmanship from anti-funneling participants, i posit that it doesn’t have the same horrid effects that dream’s comments do at all.

3) this is some great advice, seriously! i know that some people do struggle with this and it’s truly something to keep in mind. however, twitter drama is not ruining my mcc experience—the behavior of these actual participants is. i have had multiple people in the last 24 hours tell me that they cannot watch mcc anymore because they know the dteam will throw a fit and it’ll be horrible to watch. if this was just twitter drama, i would filter it and move on. but because it is literal, actual behavior from literal, actual participants during the literal, actual event, there is no way i can avoid it. it’s exhausting and the worst constant of mcc. things can and should change, whether that’s a shape up in behavior or a removal.

[for-the-writing-artist]

I'm going to need some explanation as to why you think anyone would or should ever entertain telling the truth under either of the examples I've given. Unless I've misunderstood something here; I'm genuinely having trouble seeing what point you're making with this.

Alright. In case it was not clear, in your example you ask why you should ask forgiveness for something you do not think is wrong ─ lying. I counter that in the same example, to not lie imputes you a greater wrong. In a sense, I am agreeing with you, as was my intention with the examples above.

I hold that God can be cut and dry, that lying is wrong, and I also recognize when circumstances give reason for a lie, due to nuance/ambiguity of human situations. Hopefully this clears things up.

Definitions are descriptive, not prescriptive. That's one definition you can take for morality, sure. But morality is also the process by which we determine which actions are right or wrong. And it's all a social construct, subject to a myriad of factors and it often changes as we evolve and adapt to new situations.

Well, almost? Yes, human morality will change as often as we change, and that's all we can agree on.

Society's moral standard varied a lot! Human sacrifices were considered acceptable, women's rights, and inability to vote sparked the suffragette, and then later the feminist movement. The criminal justice system was created, along with law enforcement, to penalize even small things like, whether you are wearing a seat belt while driving.

But what is right or wrong does not change, because ─ and this is what I believe ─ society's construct of what currently is moral or immoral do not have the power to define right or wrong.

Nothing stated above tells me if [x] is right or wrong, so how can I subscribe to such volatile teachings, when today I am allowed to do x thing, and tomorrow I may not? Which, to me, doesn't seem like it denies the existence of a higher being? Argh, anyway.

*Enter God and Divinity, and why it makes more sense to have an eternal status of good (or moral) value ─ that exist regardless of our existence*

“Exists” is a word I'm hesitant to use here. Some people think that there's some intangible, ethereal abstract that is somehow present in the universe or whatever and I'm not comfortable adopting that without evidential warrant. Like I said, it's a social construct and subject to change, and if we imagine a universe with no thinking agents there could be no morality there. It exists as a philosophical concept, a brain pattern that we use to make decisions. By my definition, morally good actions promote well-being and reduce harm, but morality does not and cannot “do” anything on its own, instead needing variable input in order to do any kind of work.

Hmm, I get what you're saying, but even in the absence of our existence, two plus two would still equal four. It is an absolute truth, and, in the same way, morality (right) or immorality (wrong) transcend our existence. Lest, this is what I believe in. We don't need to exist for murder to be wrong.

You are aware that there are over 600 commandments in the Bible, right? I don't think I'm out of line in thinking that every time god says to do something it's meant to be a command. Certainly if you don't think so I could find any number of Christians who do, so I'd have yet another instance of not knowing who's right.

Slavery was very common in antiquity. The entire Eastern world at one point owned slaves. That is a fact. It was also very common to have multiple wives, something we know God abhors ─ yet it is written in the laws not only ways a man may treat his cohort of wives, but also how he can divorce one. Something God also abhors.

And you will, I guarantee you, find people calling themselves Christians out there that do believe polygamy is endorsed by God. It doesn't make them right.

And you know that slavery is wrong, but to my understanding the Bible fails to ever make that statement, so how did you come by that awareness? The god described by the Bible sure seems to be a fan. He's infallible, but you disagree with these passages. Why are you more moral than the perfect being you worship?

There are laws on how to treat slaves (Ex 21:1-2, 16, 26-27, Dt 23-15-16). There is also detailed punishment for whomever is found trafficking slaves (Ex 21:16, Dt 24:7).

With this latter part, along with the endorsements in 1 Timothy 1:10 and Galatians 3:28, coupled with the two greatest commandments, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” ─ Mark 12:30-31

The golden rule, “So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.” ─ Matthew 7:12-14, and God himself freeing the people of Israel from the slavery they endured in Egypt (Ex 1:8-13) ─ you can only claim that if you really want it to be true, somehow.

Christianity exhorts us to be freed from spiritual bondage, and it is in direct opposition to that, to condone someone be physically enslaved. If God wants us spiritually free of sin, He cannot want us physically enslaved to someone else.

And the irony, is that the Bible was used by both, to condemn and endorse slavery. One used the exact chapter you quote to claim God approved of slavery. The other used it to prove that God holds all lives in equal value, and that one is not inferior to another. (Galatians 3:28, Acts 17:26, Acts 10:34-35).

And this inferiority, God has never decreed.

So I've addressed your points, and the points of other people, and so far all we've done is looked at what people believe. A lot of claims, but I'd like to re-center the conversation around how anyone can show any of this to be true. Why do you believe? Why don't you believe in any of the other gods who are proposed to exist (I mean Krishna sounds like kind of a cool guy maybe...)? And why should I be convinced of any of it? I can tell you all day about why I'd refuse to worship a deity that commands genocide and slavery but we're still in the realm of hypotheticals if all you've got to stand on is a book full of unsubstantiated claims.

Indeed, this could turn into a back and forth on how God does not command slavery or genocide; and we could look at the history of things, like how the Bible has been used both in support and condemnation of slavery ─ and it would be good to research this part of history.

And none of it will answer if He is real, or why He is real, or how it should convince you. I don't think I came to argue about that.

I get that the burden of proof lies on me, and I would be genuinely interested in your reasons for why God isn't real. But a discussion can only go so far in unequal footing.

And, if by some miracle, it is proven without a shadow of doubt that God is real, and all your answers and reasons for disbelief disproved ─ would you acquiesce? Would you believe then?

Something is. Something exists that is higher than me, or you. It could be this Krishna, it could be God. But I cannot argue in favor of this, if you believe that Nothing exists (really weird, as nothing is the absence of something). I would need to disprove this Nothing to then argue in favor of Something.

@wayward-wren that other post was getting to be a chore to scroll through, so I hope you don't mind that I'm moving my responses to a new one. If I've missed something you'd really like a response to, just remind me about it and I'll do my best. I think I've pulled everything that I wanted to go over here.

> Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 1:22-23  "For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles..." You're not alone in your skepticism, and that's why we have to rely on God.

I understand why you think that way, but my skepticism means that I can't rely on god. I can't appeal to something that hasn't met its burden of proof in order to explain other things that haven't met their burden of proof either. This just doesn't work, it's not a logical conclusion to make. In the absence of evidence for the claims, I must reject them until they can be shown to be true.

> Where does your morality come from? You can't claim God is evil without defining what evil is. Is evil hurting others? Then being a personal trainer would be evil, because exercise hurts.

This is hard to explain briefly. I mean, philosophers have been trying to nail down morality for about as long as all of written history. But what we see is that morality is an ever shifting social construct. There are things that we understand now to be morally bad which were seen as good or neutral in the past. And in the future I'm sure there are things we won't look upon favorably that are totally fine today.

Morality can't exist in a vacuum, so it needs a goal in order to sort of ground it. For me, it starts simply; the goal is to promote human flourishing and well-being while mitigating as much harm and suffering as possible. The evidence that this is a worthwhile goal is this: we, and even other mammalian species, have an awareness that individual suffering diminishes the chances of group survival, so in order to make sure we all flourish we ought to care for one another.

So I really don't believe in evil, though this might be a semantic point. With respect to my goal stated above, how can I see any moral value to a commandment that tells me that people should be used as property? This degrades and dehumanizes both subject and master, maybe even irreparably, and does nothing to promote human flourishing.

And this view is capable of accounting for nuance, whereas "don't look at someone and think they're sexy," is a harsh, black and white statement that amounts to thought crime, which is something that has no use other than to mentally dominate people and make them subservient. And for what? Thoughts like this cause no harm as long as the thought doesn't lead to any external, non-consensual action, and most of the time if not all, they're completely involuntary. It's control for the sake of control without even approaching being a moral value.

The nuance comes in as well with your personal trainer example, though I'd argue that the trainer is not harming directly but guiding a person through a process that will indeed cause some self harm, but with a positive goal. It's contractual and the recipient knows that the slight harm is to their benefit. Similarly, we consent to surgery which can be very risky harm, with the goal of becoming well. Absolute, black and white commands don't leave room for this and should ultimately be rejected in favor of a reasoned approach that takes all available information into account.

If god commands us not to lie, did he know that in 1930's Germany a great number of compassionate people, often devoted believers, would hide people in their homes who were taking refuge from a fascist regime? Did he expect those people who lied to the officers banging at their door, in order to protect innocent lives, to beg his forgiveness for misleading men with murder and torture in their minds? If my friend is in an abusive relationship and they've come to my place to call for help, and their enraged partner comes to me asking where my friend is, what forgiveness do I need for telling them that my friend isn't there? I've done no wrong, but this imperative given with no caveats or grey areas allowed brands me with the title of sinner and I object. Real life application of morality is rarely, if ever, as cut and dry as these ancient edicts would imply.

> If there is a God who created the world and is so much more powerful than the beings He created, why can't he make the rules?

I don't think that there is a god, or that the world was created, but to entertain the hypothetical; of course, I'd have no choice but to accept that those are the rules, but I'd also have no obligation to follow the rules if I have the free will you say I do. I don't necessarily believe in free will, but I would never follow an immoral command. If a god told me to go and do a genocide on the Canaanites or to keep slaves, for example, I would have all the information I needed to conclude that this god is a tyrant and undeserving of obedience or worship. I'd be damned, but my conscience would be clear.

> The thing with Christianity, is it's a story of God reaching to man. Every single other religion is man reaching to God. Every single other religion is a works based religion. Every single other religion is focused on how we can be Good Enough for God.

I don't have much to say here, except this: do you know every single other religion that has ever existed? Have you studied the Vedas of Hinduism, or whatever texts are foundational to Shintoism? How about ancient religions of fallen civilizations lost to time? Is it not more than a little bit dishonest to make broad, sweeping claims about "every single other religion," especially when your own's adherents can hardly agree among one another on what the official doctrine demands? These things are complicated and we shouldn't make such generalizations given the vast amount of study one would have to go through in order to truly know what you're claiming to know here.

[cappymightwrite]

What draws you to incest ?

*sighs* Ok, here we go. I'm a real card carrying Jonsa now aren't I?

Anon, listen. I know this is an anti question that gets bandied about a lot, aimed at provoking, etc, when we all know no Jonsa is out here being all you know what, it really is the incest, and the incest alone, that draws me in. I mean, come on now. Grow up.

If I was "drawn" to incest I'd be a fan of Cersei x Jaime, Lucrezia x Cesare, hell Oedipus x Jocasta etc... but I haven't displayed any interest in them now, have I? So, huh, it can't be that.

Frankly, it's a derivitive question that is really missing the mark. I'm not "drawn" to it, though yeah, it is an unavoidable element of Jonsa. The real question you should be asking though, is what draws GRRM to it? Because he obviously is drawn to it, specifically what is termed the "incest motif" in academic and literary scholarship. That is a far more worthwhile avenue of thinking and questioning, compared with asking me. Luckily for you though anon, I sort of anticipated getting this kind of question so had something in my drafts on standby...

You really don't have to look far, or that deeply, to be hit over the head by the connection between GRRM's literary influences and the incest motif. I mean, let's start with the big cheese himself, Tolkein:

Tolkein + Quenta Silmarillion

We know for definite that GRRM has been influenced by Tolkein, and in The Silmarillion you notably have a case of unintentional incest in Quenta Silmarillion, where Túrin Turambar, under the power of a curse, unwittingly murders his friend, as well as marries and impregnates his sister, Nienor Níniel, who herself had lost her memory due to an enchantment.

Mr Tolkein, "what draws you to incest?"

Old Norse + Völsunga saga

Tolkein, as a professor of Anglo-Saxon, was hugely influenced by Old English and Old Norse literature. The story of the ring Andvaranaut, told in Völsunga saga, is strongly thought to have been a key influence behind The Lord of the Rings. Also featured within this legendary saga is the relationship between the twins Signy and Sigmund — at one point in the saga, Signy tricks her brother into sleeping with her, which produces a son, Sinfjotli, of pure Völsung blood, raised with the singular purpose of enacting vengence.

Anonymous Norse saga writer, "what draws you to incest?"

Medieval Literature as a whole

A lot is made of how "true" to the storied past ASOIAF is, how reflective it is of medieval society (and earlier), its power structures, its ideals and martial values etc. ASOIAF, however, is not attempting historical accuracy, and should not be read as such. Yet it is clearly drawing from a version of the past, as depicted in medieval romances and pre-Christian mythology for instance, as well as dusty tomes on warfare strategy. As noted by Elizabeth Archibald in her article Incest in Medieval Literature and Society (1989):

Of course the Middle Ages inherited and retold a number of incest stories from the classical world. Through Statius they knew Oedipus, through Ovid they knew the stories of Canace, Byblis, Myrrha and Phaedra. All these stories end more or less tragically: the main characters either die or suffer metamorphosis. Medieval readers also knew the classical tradition of incest as a polemical accusation,* for instance the charges against Caligula and Nero. – p. 2

The word "polemic" is connected to controversy, to debate and dispute, therefore these classical texts were exploring the incest motif in order to create discussion on a controversial topic. In a way, your question of "what draws you to incest?" has a whiff of polemical accusation to it, but as I stated, you're missing the bigger question.

Moving back to the Middle Ages, however, it is interesting that we do see a trend of more incest stories appearing within new narratives between the 11th and 13th centuries, according to Archibald:

The texts I am thinking of include the legend of Judas, which makes him commit patricide and then incest before betraying Christ; the legend of Gregorius, product of sibling incest who marries his own mother, but after years of rigorous penance finally becomes a much respected pope; the legend of St Albanus, product of father-daughter incest, who marries his mother, does penance with both his parents but kills them when they relapse into sin, and after further penance dies a holy man; the exemplary stories about women who sleep with their sons, and bear children (whom they sometimes kill), but refuse to confess until the Virgin intervenes to save them; the legends of the incestuous begetting of Roland by Charlemagne and of Mordred by Arthur; and finally the Incestuous Father romances about calumniated wives, which resemble Chaucer's Man of Law's Tale except that the heroine's adventures begin when she runs away from home to escape her father's unwelcome advances. – p. 2

I mean... that last bit sounds eerily quite close to what we have going on with Petyr Baelish and Sansa Stark. But I digress. What I'm trying to say is that from a medieval and classical standpoint... GRRM is not unique in his exploration of the incest motif, far from it.

Sophocles, Ovid, Hartmann von Aue, Thomas Malory, etc., "what draws you to incest?"

Faulkner + The Sound and the Fury, and more!

Moving on to more modern influences though, when talking about the writing ethos at the heart of his work, GRRM has famously quoted William Faulker:

His mantra has always been William Faulkner’s comment in his Nobel prize acceptance speech, that only the “human heart in conflict with itself… is worth writing about”. [source]

I’ve never read any Faulker, so I did just a quick search on “Faulkner and incest” and I pulled up this article on JSTOR, called Faulkner and the Politics of Incest (1998). Apparently, Faulkner explores the incest motif in at least five novels, therefore it was enough of a distinctive theme in his work to warrant academic analysis. In this journal article, Karl F. Zender notes that:

[...] incest for Faulkner always remains tragic [...] – p. 746

Ah, we can see a bit of running theme here, can't we? But obviously, GRRM (one would hope) doesn’t just appreciate Faulkner’s writing for his extensive exploration of incest. This quote possibly sums up the potential artistic crossover between the two:

Beyond each level of achieved empathy in Faulkner's fiction stands a further level of exclusion and marginalization. – pp. 759–60

To me, the above parallels somewhat GRRM’s own interest in outcasts, in personal struggle (which incest also fits into):

I am attracted to bastards, cripples and broken things as is reflected in the book. Outcasts, second-class citizens for whatever reason. There’s more drama in characters like that, more to struggle with. [source]

Interestingly, however, this essay on Faulkner also connects his interest in the incest motif with the romantic poets, such as Percy Bysshe Shelley and Lord Byron:

As Peter Thorslev says in an important study of romantic representations of incest, " [p]arent-child incest is universally condemned in Romantic literature...; sibling incest, on the other hand, is invariably made sympathetic, is sometimes exonerated, and, in Byron's and Shelley's works, is definitely idealized.” – p. 741

Faulkner, "what draws you to incest?" ... I mean, that article gives some good explanations, actually.

Lord Byron, Manfred + The Bride of Abydos

Which brings us onto GRRM interest in the Romantics:

I was always intensely Romantic, even when I was too young to understand what that meant. But Romanticism has its dark side, as any Romantic soon discovers... which is where the melancholy comes in, I suppose. I don't know if this is a matter of artistic influences so much as it is of temperament. But there's always been something in a twilight that moves me, and a sunset speaks to me in a way that no sunrise ever has. [source]

I'm already in the process of writing a long meta about the influence of Lord Byron in ASOIAF, specifically examining this quote by GRRM:

The character I’m probably most like in real life is Samwell Tarly. Good old Sam. And the character I’d want to be? Well who wouldn’t want to be Jon Snow — the brooding, Byronic, romantic hero whom all the girls love. Theon [Greyjoy] is the one I’d fear becoming. Theon wants to be Jon Snow, but he can’t do it. He keeps making the wrong decisions. He keeps giving into his own selfish, worst impulses. [source]

Lord Byron, "what draws you to—", oh, um, right. Nevermind.

I'm not going to repeat myself here, but it's worth noting that there is a clear through line between GRRM and the Romantic writers, besides perhaps melancholic "temperament"... and it's incest.

But look, is choosing to explore the incest motif...well, a choice? Yeah, and an uncomfortable one at that, but it’s obvious that that is what GRRM is doing. I think it’s frankly a bit naive of some people to argue that GRRM would never do Jonsa because it’s pseudo-incest and therefore morally repugnant, no ifs, no buts. I’m sorry, as icky as it may be to our modern eyes, GRRM has set the president for it in his writing with the Targaryens and the Lannister twins.

The difference with them is that they knowingly commit incest, basing it in their own sense of exceptionalism, and there are/will be bad consequences — this arguably parallels the medieval narratives in which incest always ends badly, unless some kind of real penance is involved. For Jon and Sansa, however, the Jonsa argument is that they will choose not to commit incest, despite a confused attraction, and then will be rewarded in the narrative through the parentage reveal, a la Byron’s The Bride of Abydos. The Targaryens and Lannisters, in several ways excluding the incest (geez the amount of times I’ve written incest in this post), are foils for the Starks, and in particular, Jon and Sansa. Exploring the incest motif has been on the cards since the very beginning — just look at that infamous "original" outline — regardless of whether we personally consider that an interesting writing choice, or a morally inexcusable one.

Word of advice, or rather, warning... don't think you can catch me out with these kinds of questions. I have access to a university database, so if I feel like procrastinating my real academic work, I can and will pull out highly researched articles to school you, lmao.

But you know, thanks for the ask anyway, I guess.

[imaginationbeyondreality]

So, what’s new?

These past few weeks have been hectic. I feel so tired but for some strange reason, I do not feel sleepy. Well, maybe it’s because the board exam is pretty much just around the corner. So, I don't have the time to dillydally.

This year has been rough for me and… for my baby. I know she’s kinda old. We’ve been together for like seven years. And maybe, it’s about time she shows how much she has aged.

For starters, I do not even remember when was the last time I had her washed. Yes. Yes. It’s so irresponsible of me but I just don’t have the time these past few months.

I had to pay someone for a scratch (about a foot long) I caused in her car when I was leaving the parking lot. I’m not sure actually if I was the one who scratched her car but the security guard insisted. Though, what baffles me is that I have no scratch in mine. I mean, if I was the one who caused it should my car have a paint transfer of some sort? I don’t know. But because of this incident, I now have trust issues with security guards.

I stupidly left my car with the engine on for 20 hours. That’s almost a day! I wasted my fuel which I tanked up that day. Seriously, how stupid can I get?

For the first time in seven years, I had to visit a vulcanizing shop. I was alone and scared and skeptical. I mean. Is he doing the right thing or he’s just after sales? Silly me.

I had a mishap with a motorcycle, twice actually. Different instances. Alhamdulillah, no one got hurt. So yeah, I have new scratches on both sides.

One of my brake bulbs busted last year and now, two of them are not working. Back then, I had a hard time finding a replacement in CdeO so I gave up. But I realized, I have to replace it. So we searched again in IC but we still got no luck. We ended up asking someone to buy them in Manila and get them shipped here. So, yes. I got new bulbs but to my disappointment, both brake bulbs just stopped working. I think something is wrong with the wiring. And it’s definitely something that I cannot solve.

Next. Three of the warning lights on my dashboard are now persistently illuminated. I read my manual, did some research, and I found out that those warning lights are kinda serious and warrant a visit to an auto shop.

And just recently, my windshield cracked. I don’t know how and why, but it happened. I felt so sad and sorry and stupid. ‘Coz I think I am the only one who got her windshield cracked for no apparent reason. I did not see any other damage exteriorly, just the crack. Something might have hit it. Accidentally or not? I don’t know. Or did it crack because of too much heat? Or because she’s worn out? Well, I can’t tell.

But you know what’s funny? I religiously hang my sunshade cover every time I park and leave my car out. But strangely that day, I did not. Looking back, I remember having the urge to hang the sunshade cover before I leave but I dismissed the idea telling myself that I will leave early the next day so I don’t have to do it. But I did not leave the next day. I did not! And it totally slipped my mind that I did not hang the sunshade cover. So I basically left my car out in the scorching sun for two days. When I got in my car the next day, I did not notice the crack. I turned on my AC, as usual, and lowered the temperature. And it somehow occurred to me at that time that if I set the temperature too low, will my windshield break? And, AGAIN, I dismissed the idea. ‘Coz it’s what I’ve been doing for years. I turn my AC on immediately. I only noticed the crack when I was outside the compound. Wait. Did I really notice it when I was out or was it when I turned my AC on? Did something fall and cracked the windshield when I left the car to close the gate? Ugh. I don’t know. My memories are playing tricks on me. They’re confusing me.

I can’t help myself but be bothered. I keep on thinking that I was the one who made it happen. It’s my fault. I feel stupid and irresponsible and broke. ‘Coz the repair, you know, would definitely cost a lot. I know it’s wrong of me to wallow in sadness, but I couldn’t help it. I have this feeling that none of these could have happened if I was careful. I might have prevented it had I listened to my inner self. But really. Whom am I kidding? They are bound to happen. They happened for a reason.

Ya Allah. Grant me wisdom and strength.

Sigh.

[parachutingkitten]

Y'all suck at dissecting Kai's character, so I guess I have to do it.

And I'm not even a Kai stan. He's a bottom tier ninja for me, which I guess means you can trust me, cuz I'm not biased, but also why am I the one doing this? I don't know about y'all, but recently on my dash, the method by which Kai fans try to make him sound good is... saying the writers hate him, ignore him, and that he isn't written well? Which... I mean there is a little bit of truth to, but like yikes guys, is this the best you got? Kai is a wonderful character with plenty of attention from the writers, a meaningful piece of the cast when put in secondary rolls, fairly consistent character writing with actual progression and valuable qualities that help the team without having to be the smart one- despite what some posts might tell you.

Let's get one thing cleared up: Ninjago isn't the best written show. By high level Hollywood standards, most the character arcs are kinda weak or too heavy handed, character consistency can be iffy, and most things serve the plot rather than the characters. There is no character you can point to and say "wow, this character is written so well! No complaints!" Nya and Jay were butchered by their weird love plot, Cole's one season doesn't actually give him an arc, Zane's been nothing but the robot numbers guy for like 10 seasons now, and Lloyd seems to be incapable of doing anything but relive the same one piece of dad angst for depth. Sorry, it's true. All the characters suck when you look at it from a large scale writing perspective. So when I say Kai is well written, I mean by ninjago kids show standards- cuz that's the scale we're working on. No, you couldn't drop Kai into a well written drama, but as far as ninjago goes... he's got a lot going for him, and by no means is he the biggest victim of poor writing.

(fair warning, wall of text below)

The title is a bit disingenuous. There are plenty of good Kai character break downs. What I am presenting here is a more positive perspective. On the whole, I will tend to give the writers the benefit of the doubt, and credit for what they do right writing is hard guys. That's what I'm doing here. I don't see much sense in getting mad the writers on behalf of Kai, or any other character. Ninjago is a simplistic ensemble show that works because of the identifiable simplicity of its main characters with some deeper layers hidden underneath if you keep watching. They've given us a damn good show with some damn enjoyable characters, so here are some criticisms I feel are a little flawed:

First, let's get the 'focus' thing out of the way. Apparently there are people saying Kai doesn't have a season yet? Which... what? I mean, I get that the pilots aren't a full season, the first two seasons, though he is the central protagonist, aren't "Kai seasons" as we've come to define ninja focus seasons, season 7, though he gets majority focus, he shares with his sister. But like... did y'all just forget about season 4? You know, the season where he had the title card, was on the box sets, got the love interest, and the majority of the A-plot? not to mention it's the best season don't @ me Like... if season 4 isn't a Kai season, I can make a damn good argument that season 3 isn't a Zane season, and I doubt anyone wants to go down that rabbit hole. I really can't wrap my head around this one. And I get that the fandom hates season 11 for some reason, but like you can't just pretend it doesn't exist. Kai has a consistent arc across 30 episodes in which he takes his powers for granted, loses them, and learns that, not only does he have value within the team without them, but that his element is intrinsically a part of him that he reclaims, bringing them back more powerful than ever, and with new respect for them. That's one of the most solid arcs in the whole series- the location is even thematically connected to his element. That's some good stuff right there! (Quick plug for season 11 if you haven't watched it in a while. Give it a rewatch, you might be pleasantly surprised)

Not to mention the writers give him fun side stuff all the time. Lots of fears of tech and water to overcome, a deep protective streak with Lloyd, becoming a chancellor, having a true potential actually relevant to the plot as a whole, blacksmith responsibilities, befriending dragons, hanging out with his dad. Not to mention actual focus stuff we haven't talked about yet, like his whole "my dad is evil" phase, and his "I might be evil" phase with him and Skylor. And on top of that, even when he doesn't have an explicit side plot, he's always just a fun and dynamic side character to make jokes or give exposition.

Now, into character stuff. Let's start with Kai's hot headed-ness. Some people say he's been loosing this quality, and I will admit, that's true! But those that claim this makes him inconsistent... I strongly disagree. In early seasons, Kai's temper would lead him to snap at his friends or make stupid decisions that set the team back (see episode 2 Zane freak out)- these are bad things. These are character flaws, yes? Now, in newer seasons, people say that he's inconsistent, cuz sometimes he'll be hot headed, and sometimes he won't. I'd say, this is exactly how being hot headed... works? It flares up without warning, and as an individual gets control of it, it'll pop up less and less often because they're channeling it into productive things - like say directing the anger towards an enemy (see season 11 end freak out). Kai has gained control of a character flaw, and though it still pops up on occasion, the fact that it's a once in a while kind of thing speaks to his growth. I have a little brother who has this exact personality, and watching him grow up, I can tell you, this is how it is. He used to snap all the time, and he still does sometimes, but much less frequently, because he's a more mature person with better control of his emotions. This is a good thing. This is overcoming personal flaws. This is progression we're seeing.

And while you're hyper focused on this one aspect of him, things like his cocky confidence haven't changed a bit. I mean, that season 3 bit between him and Pixal, and his season 11 "fire maker" streak have the exact same energy. You can not convince me otherwise.

Another adjacent quality that hasn't been dampened is Kai's impulsiveness. This can be a good quality of his, he'll get into a fight without thinking, getting the jump on the enemy. Good stuff. But, this has become such a well defined trait of Kai's that it has been used in a comedic capacity. This is what happens when a character is extremely consistent to the extent that both the audience and the characters in universe would be able to predict their actions. Kai's impulsivity used to be a more serious quality that put himself and others at risk, and was a big power move whenever he did something rash, but it's become such a staple of the show that it's now being used for comedy. That isn't Kai's impulsivity going away, that's Kai's impulsivity being recontextualized for the sake of the show. The season 9 "Who's stupid enough to jump on that thing" isn't a joke at the expense of Kai just for being dumb, it's a joke at Kai's being so predictably impulsive that everyone already knows he'll be the one to put himself in an insane amount of danger without thinking twice (you know, something stupid that might get him killed). But because in this instance, the danger is warranted, this is bravery. It's a complement to his character- it's what ends up defeating the colossus. Why are some people so bothered by this joke?

Oh right, cuz for some reason people want to peg Kai as the smart one? Look, Kai isn't stupid, none of the ninja are. All of them have smart moments (all of them have dumb ones too) and Kai can certainly handle himself, but "smart" is definitely not one of his defining characteristics- I think some people are confusing smart for his actual strength. Connected to his impulsivity, Kai has very good simplistic instincts. He sees the big picture and looks at the most surface level solution- which when the situation calls for it, that does indeed make him smart. But the same logic that led him to think "This snake has a glowing target on its head, lets hit it" also led him to think "I'm in a video game, therefore I am immortal." Are you really going to look at me and say he figured out Lloyd was the green ninja through logical deduction and a careful consideration of the facts? No. He had a gut feeling, and he trusted it. Instincts- instincts paired with his impulsive following of said instincts is what leads him to solve problems- and sometimes, that can be extremely effective. This goes for other ninja too. Jay isn't the smartest ninja- I would really only classify Zane and Nya as having intelligence define them (hence their ship name). But Jay is extremely creative and crafty. He also knows his was around mechanics, and as such, this will lead him to come up with creative tech based solutions which are smart. But, idk about you, if I had to point to another ninja as being 'dumb' it would 100% be Jay. Kai is a lot of things. He's passionate and determined and confident and persistent. He's a good improvisor, he's powerful and he's charming! These are all wonderful qualities, he doesn't also have to be the smart one. I am the worlds biggest Pixal stan, and she's a smart, sassy, powerful character, but I'm not gonna sit here and tell you she's also hilarious and adaptable and strong willed. She's a straight man to all the ninja's antics, extremely tied to her samurai x suit, and lets people push her around all the time. That doesn't mean she can't be funny, or self interested, but when she does act these ways, it stems from her other more prominent qualities. That make sense?

And while we're clearing up what Kai isn't, please stop characterizing Kai as an overly protective brother - especially romantically. The only two times he's been romantically protective to Nya are in Wu's Teas which I mean, come on and in the pilots when Jay is literally a stranger. For crying out loud, by the end of the pilot, he's smiling when Jay and Nya hug. That's not overly protective, that's just normal, any reasonable person would react this way, protective. And it's such a great stereotype break for a kids show like ninjago, having an older brother who actually trusts his younger sister to be her own independent person who can make her own decisions. I mean, I guess it's fine if you HC differently but like... idk, I don't buy it.

Now, is there still room to criticize the writers? Yes. Hell yes. But not to an extent greater than any other character. Could he have had more of a defined reaction to events of the most recent season that I won't name for the sake of spoilers? Yes. But could Zane have reacted for more than .5 seconds at being an evil war lord for apparently 60 years? Yeah. Has Kai taken a back seat in the past 4 seasons? Yeah. But so has Lloyd- and he's literally the main character of the show. Not to mention two of those seasons have gone to people who had to wait over ten seasons to get one to themselves, and one of them is a 40 minute special. Kai's doing just fine.

Anyway. Kai is great. He's a fun, stereotype breaking, impulsively driven, ball of energy and confidence who gets a good amount of screen time and some fun side plots.

One last thing to clear up: no hate to anyone. This isn't targeted at anyone specific, this post has been a long time coming, I've just seen some weird overblown claims on various platforms over the past few months and I finally sat down to write about it.

I like the Kai content we have. After all, if the writers were really that bad at writing him, then no one would like him.

Wow this was so much longer than I thought it would be. Um... if you have other long winded rants you'd like to see from me... let me know I guess?

[renegadewangs]

Enigmatic Gnomance

Last night was movie night in my Discord server and we watched Sherlock Gnomes. Needless to say, things escalated very fast and I wrote a 2000+ words one-shot regarding the ending. Everyone liked it for some reason??? So here it is! (I’m not an expert on the gnome cinematic universe, please forgive me if I got a little detail wrong.)

Characters: Sherlock Gnomes, Watson Fandom: Sherlock Gnomes Pairings: (Lord help me,) Gnomes/Watson Warnings/rating: None. Summary: With the movie’s events behind them, Sherlock Gnomes ruminates on difficult matters.

Enigmatic Gnomance

The sun had set on the backyard when at last, Gnomes and Watson returned to their little home. Mrs. Udderson was nowhere to be seen, for which Watson found himself quite grateful. After all that'd occurred tonight, he wasn't in the mood for her invasive mooing. Gnomes hobbled over to the nearby armchair and settled himself down there. The deep crack in his leg instantly caught Watson's eye. He wasn't really a doctor- such a title was no more than an accessory in the world of gnomes. Even so, he found himself yearning to fix the injury somehow. He was responsible in a way, he felt. He'd been weak and he'd gotten cocky, which had made him a blind and unwilling pawn in Moriarty's little scheme.

But there was nothing to be done about it now; porcelain would never heal. Even with glue, Gnomes ran the risk of losing his leg forever if he were ever reckless.

Watson hesitated for a moment, then approached the armchair. His gaze wasn't being met. Gnomes had folded his hands together and was now peering towards his own feet. "Gnomes, ah... Are you alright? Can I get you anything?" he asked awkwardly.

Even with their reunion atop the bridge and their agreement to continue being partners, Gnomes still hadn't quite acknowledged the betrayal. It was maddening. Why wasn't he scolded? For Gnomes to come to terms with his rude dismissal of others had been the entire point, that much was true. However, to not see the gargoyles' true nature and be used by their master... That had been worthy of a good scoff, surely. Or at the very least an indignant sniff. Gnomes could have died, all due to Watson's own naivety. Sure enough, Gnomes didn't reply. The silence was worse than anything else he could have said.

"Gnomes..." Watson trailed off for a moment. Then he decided there was nothing to be gained by keeping his feelings bottled up. That was what'd caused this whole mess in the first place. "It's only us, now. Please, just talk to me."

"... I was ruminating, Watson," said Gnomes, still staring at his feet.

"Oh?"

"Yes, indeed. Ruminating. Quite deeply, I might say. My mind palace lost an entire dimension, attempting to process these hectic thoughts of mine. However, I'm afraid I'm drawing a blank. Perhaps, if you would be so kind, you might refresh my memory?"

The sober, forward nature of Gnomes's words caught Watson off guard. He hadn't known his friend to be so earnest, nor so willing to ask for help, for a very long time. Perhaps the day's events had made a difference after all. But then... Had it been Watson to make Gnomes see sense, or had it been Moriarty's doing? It was best not to think too hard on that, so he attempted to force the notion out of his mind.

"Of course, old friend." Watson placed a hand on the back of the armchair, smiling meekly. "If you need my help, you need only ask for it. Though perhaps... A bit more politely than you used to."

Gnomes uttered a chuckle, bitter as lime(stone). "Hah, quite right," he admitted. "I was wondering... Whether I actually took the time to say how sorry I am."

Watson felt his eyes widen and his body stiffen. Had he heard that correctly? Surely not. "Sorry" was a word not uttered aloud by Gnomes in a long time, short of demanding it from others.

"... What?"

"Quite a bit happened tonight. Moriarty is nothing if not a distraction. I'm certain I said quite a few things- to him and to you. However, it's all a bit of a blur, you see. Did I? Apologize?"

Watson shook his head fiercely. This was all wrong. This was what he'd wanted, and yet... No, he didn't deserve it, did he? "Gnomes- You aren't the one who needs to apologize. I put innocent gnomes in danger- I put you in danger. Moriarty could've won, all because I-I... I thought you'd..."

A hand on Watson's wrist caused any other words to vanish. He looked down to meet Gnomes's eyes. Even more out of place than the gnome's apology was the expression on his face, which Watson couldn't recall ever having seen once in all their years of partnership. What was it? Some sort of turmoil, certainly.

"My dear man, you were right to confront me with my attitude. To treat others in such dreadful a manner is already mortifying to me, in hindsight, but you... You deserved so much more and I fear I took your companionship for granted for the longest time. I'd forgotten just how brilliant you are, and so, you played the game quite well."

"Gnomes... Truly, you don't need to-"

"I am sorry, Watson. More sorry than even my own brilliant mind could ever begin to formulate."

Watson sighed and placed his own hand atop Gnomes's own. "I know. And I'm sorry as well."

For a long moment, nothing was said. Gnomes's eyes merely flitted towards Watson's hand and lingered there. Then, at last, he found his voice again. It had cracked almost as badly as his leg. "... I don't deserve a partner like you. Should you follow Irene's example and find your luck elsewhere, I would not blame you."

"Don't be a fool," Watson replied straight off the bat. "I did not go through so much trouble to teach you a lesson, only to toss away the benefits before I could reap them."

"You were perfectly content to abandon our partnership earlier."

"Well... It wasn't quite a partnership earlier, now was it?"

Gnomes appeared dumbstruck, though only for a moment. Then his lips carved themselves into a grin. "... Fair enough."

Watson took another shuffling step closer to the armchair, leaning forward and eyes narrowing into a bit of a squint. "Are you alright? Your leg... It looks quite damaged."

"It's only a few surface cracks," Gnomes replied, sticking his nose up in the air. "Nothing to worry about. The great Sherlock Gnomes is nothing if not resilient. It is a shame, though. That was my favorite leg."

Watson chuckled dryly. "I don't believe there's anything in this world you love more than yourself."

But Gnomes didn't reply. He merely stared ahead blankly at the wall. Had he gotten lost in his own thoughts again? Watson hadn't thought he'd said anything worth contemplating, nor blocking out.

"... Are you certain you're alright, Gnomes?" he asked.

"I... Yes." Gnomes blinked fiercely and rapped the fingers of his other hand against the armrest of the chair. "It's curious. You are quite clever, Watson, but then... Perhaps, unable to decipher the very same enigma which plagues me."

"An enigma, Gnomes?" Watson repeated. What was there still left to solve, at this point? It must've been significant, if Gnomes himself still struggled to put a finger on it. How tragic, then, that he would assume Watson would be unable to decipher it also. Were the learned lessons being foregone already? He hoped not.

"The time I spent with Irene... Well, surely you recall. It was a jolly good romp for a while, but I always knew she would come second place to the mysteries and the chases. And she came to know this as well. So in the end, a jolly good romp was all it was. I did not think I could ever love someone the way she expected me to."

Indeed, Watson did recall those 'jolly good romps'. He remembered the pain on Irene's face, which grew more severe with every instance where she'd been snubbed. He also remembered her resolution on the day she decided she would get over him. It was so very easy to rope her into his plans because the two of them related to one another. They both knew just how painful it was to be dismissed by Gnomes. They both agreed that the lesson had needed to come sooner and there was nothing left to salvage, but then... Watson hadn't given up quite as much hope as Irene, it turned out. It was a good thing that he hadn't.

"Indeed. But what's that got to do with another puzzle?" he asked.

"When I saw you fall and I heard that dreadful smashing sound... Well, I didn't want to think about it, really. I pushed it from my mind before it could ever take root there, because if I'd allowed that... Well, I'm sure I would've been quite useless for the remainder of the investigation."

"Oh, Gnomes, I didn't mean for you to-"

"It was a clever ploy, of course. I fell for it. Didn't even stop to consider you might catch yourself. That warrants another apology, I believe."

"No, really, it's fine. Perhaps I'd gone too far with that."

Gnomes's hand curled around Watson's wrist more fiercely. He turned his head upwards once again, brow furrowed, features pleading. "Watson," he began softly. "If I'd lost you... If you were truly gone, what would I do with myself? That's what I was ruminating on, you see. It pains me simply to envision the hypothetical, which is to say nothing of what would happen if it were a reality. I've never felt anything of the sort for Irene. So will you tell me, please?"

The situation was surreal. To hear words like that coming from his old friend... Well, the plan truly had been far more effective than Watson had expected it to be, though the result was overwhelming. Perhaps even unnerving. To earn Gnomes's respect and partnership was one thing, but to hear that his presence would've been missed so very dearly... That was more than he'd ever bargained for, or even dared to wish for. He didn't know how to feel now. He didn't understand what was being asked of him.

"... Tell you what, Gnomes?"

"Isn't there someone I love more than myself, or the thrill of the hunt?"

Watson's mind went blank. He felt quite cold, all of a sudden. But then... Also hot at the same time, as if he were standing out in the blazing sun of a warm summer's day. Gnomes's eyes were still on his own, waiting, perhaps deducing. Watson didn't dare look away. He was cornered now- trapped in Gnomes's intense stare.

Before tonight, his response would have been clear. He would have laughed bitterly at the question, then turned away from it. But then... Before tonight, it never would have been asked. Gnomes had never taken such things into consideration until he'd been forced to. To have Gnomes reflect on how much he'd always relied on Watson, that had been the goal. An unexpected side-effect, then, was that Watson now had to reflect on how much he'd relied on Gnomes. He'd wanted be looked at, to be acknowledged, to be praised- to be close to Gnomes, the way he used to when they first began to solve cases.

"I think that... The only one who could ever answer that question is you, Gnomes," he ultimately said.

"I... I need a hint, I believe," Gnomes replied in a bit of a stammer. "Just a clue, a morsel. The tiniest bit of guidance when it comes to deciphering these feelings."

"I'm not much help there, I'm afraid. I may be just as lost as you are."

"Oh... Are you really?" Gnomes paused for a moment, lips pursing and nose crinkling as he mulled it over. "If we're both lost in the same manner, does that not imply we both experience these same feelings?"

"Ah..."

And still, Watson had no true answer to give. Just as Gnomes's brilliant mind failed to form an apology strong enough to do the sentiment justice, so too did Watson's own fail to translate his feelings into words.

-Feelings? Were there feelings after all?

After about ten seconds, Gnomes tore his attention away from Watson's eyes and returned to gazing at his own feet. "Perhaps... It would be presumptuous to expect an answer to this riddle this very night. We are both taken by exhaustion, I'm sure. Delirious with it, perhaps. So..."

Still, no cohesive sentences came to Watson. Even so, he did have a reply, he thought. It wasn't a very clever one, but it was a reply all the same. He leaned forward to press a kiss against Gnomes's cheek. The gesture clearly shocked his friend, for he made a rather funny noise and attempted to jump up out of the chair. His bad leg, however, had other plans. Gnomes slumped backwards before he could ever fully stand upright and Watson caught him by the shoulders with both hands on instinct, cushioning the fall.

"Whaa- Whaaaat... son....!" Gnomes tilted his head backwards to peer up at him. "What...?"

"That was the small clue you were searching for, which ought to help you decipher these feelings of yours," Watson explained with another wry smile.

Gnomes appeared stunned. However, he soon relaxed in Watson's hold and eased himself back into the chair properly. "Indeed, that was quite helpful," he said. "Whatever would I do without your assistance, dear fellow? You truly are indispensable."

"It's good of you to say such things out loud, Gnomes. I expect to hear much more praise in the future."

"Of course!"

Indeed, they were both exhausted and had more than enough time to continue 'ruminating' on their feelings. For now, Watson was quite content to leave it that. Immense progress had already been made, and aside from that... Mrs. Udderson was still lurking high above them.

[consumeconstantly]

Lady Cross (first aid)

Summary: Somehow, Marinette always ends up biting off more than she can chew. It started off with a kid and a nasty gash on their knee. The sudden escalation to treating the new head of Gotham’s underworld? It can only be explained by the fact that she’s catnip for trouble. 

_____________________________________________

Marinette supposed she should have expected something like this to happen eventually.

Really, she patches up a few street kids and offers a meal and some resources and suddenly she's made a name for herself in the slums of Gotham. It’s not like she’s doing anything revolutionary. Well, okay, maybe she does cheat a little bit and uses her healing powers on a few of the tougher cases that really should have been out of her realm of expertise, but she’s living near the slums of Gotham for a reason. That reason being Marinette is just a little broke and can’t really afford to send everyone she comes across to the hospital, and the people who are injured certainly can’t. It’s not like she can leave them to die. That would be heartless.

When she stopped treating scrapes and cuts for kids on the streets as she came across them and instead found her apartment balcony frequented by families who needed her help, she couldn’t just say no. And so, more and more serious wounds started coming in. Kids brought their parents and friends. The parents and friends brought... well, if the police stopped by her apartment any time soon, she’s fairly certain they’d have a field day.

But again, it’s not like she’s going to turn these people into the police when they’ve come to her for help and have a small army of people who swear up and down that they’re good people and only doing what they have to do in order to get by.

Morality comes in such a variety of shades, who was she to judge? Ladybug and Marinette have both certainly had their fair share of mistakes that they’d gladly go back in time to rectify, and her hands weren’t clean of blood either. Sure, the Miraculous Cure may have brought people back, but their deaths were still on her. And Hawkmoth? Yeah, he’s alive now, but she hammered him into the pavement after dropping him from the top of the Eiffel tower, and she’s not going to pretend that she didn’t take a bit of morbid joy in that moment.

But back to the matter at hand. Which was, the notorious Red Hood—responsible for a coup amongst Gotham’s drug dealers and responsible for taking down a man whose morality truly vanished with the wind, Black Mask himself— was currently bleeding out on her second floor balcony, smoking a cigarette and lounging against the rail like he owned the place. 

“Lady Cross,” he inclined his head.

“Red Hood,” Marinette returned his greeting.

God, she really didn’t want to get involved with Red Hood. She wasn’t opposed to helping out street thugs and criminals, but Red Hood was a different league. He seemed to be a fairly decent guy, ensuring that kids weren’t dealt drugs and tried to keep them out of the circuit as much as possible. He took down plenty of worse criminals while he was at it. In fact, Marinette would go so far to say the Red Hood as one the good guys.

But the issue was, once she started treating people of a certain level, she’d be open game. And that didn’t seem very enticing to her. Not at all. Everyone knew that Red Hood had beef with the Bat Family for some reason or other, and also made enemies with almost every single rogue in Gotham, and a good number of enemies outside of it as well. Basically, Red Hood was a universal enemy of both the vigilantes and rogues. Someone she shouldn’t get involved with while she was trying to investigate the darkness surrounding Gotham whole running her online boutique and going to college at Gotham University.

Unfortunately, Tom and Sabine and her own stint as Ladybug taught her that she could never ignore someone in need. Marinette sighed and slid the mesh open, leading Red Hood to her living room. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?”

“Real nice place you got here,” he said.

With the mask covering the whole of his face, Marinette had no facial expressions to figure out whether he was poking fun at her current living situation or not. His voice sounded genuine, but vocal emotions were easy to fake.

The apartment she was living in was not on the nice side of town. There were three bullet holes in the wall between her living room and bedroom that she just didn’t have time to patch up, some pretty nasty looking stains on the ceiling near her kitchen, and a huge, spray painted red cross on one of her walls, which was where her street name derived from. Her floor and coffee table were also in states of disarray; she hadn’t gotten the opportunity to clean up after working on two commissions and the last guest whose wounds were heavy enough to warrant several rolls of gauze, which was now half stuffed into a garbage can sitting next to rolls of fabric. Perhaps not the neatest or most sanitary situation, but she didn’t have time to clean up before every single one of her unexpected guests came in.

Look, it wasn’t her fault that she didn’t have time to fix things up real nice and neat. She’d only been living in the apartment for a month and a half, and most times, she barely spent any time in it other than to sleep, cram last minute projects for her design course, or to help heal people. Her living situation wasn’t the biggest of worries.

“Sit,” Marinette gestured to the one of the few pieces of furniture that she specifically bought for the apartment. She didn’t mind the stained, half broken, and extremely creaky couch the last owners left behind for the first week, but after she started bringing back her first… visitors, it seemed important that the couch was comfortable, sturdy, and most crucially, cleanable.

Rummaging through a cabinet, she pulled out a tattered briefcase she thrifted a while back to keep all of her medical supplies in. Not the prettiest of things, but she tried not to keep expensive looking items in her apartment because she wasn’t a fan of getting mugged. The medicine she kept was already expensive enough, she didn’t need to attract everyone’s attention by owning one of those metal containers used in hospitals. Even though most of the people who dropped by her apartment were thankful to be treated, she had a few instances where people tried to steal things from her.

“What’s the damage, doc?” Red Hood’s voice came through rather tinny through his helmet. 

Marinette grimaced. The helmet must have awful air circulation. It looked like some sort of metal, and wet and metal never smelled good together. “I don’t know, you tell me.”

“Thought you were supposed to be some mystic healer who came from the far east.”

She paused and looked at the man, trying to judge whether he was racist as well as rude. “That’s rather insulting.” 

Red Hood shrugged. Marinette applauded the man for showing no outward sign of pain at that, even though there was a bullet embedded in his shoulder, and shrugging had to bite. “That’s what the word on the street is, though you sound French to me. Thought I’d come and check out who’s healing Gotham’s criminals. What’re you planning?”

“Sorry to foil your plans, but I’m not planning anything other than getting my college degree and not pissing off the people I live near.” She paused, flipping the lock on the briefcase upwards. “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t use me as your go to healer from now on. You’re going to bring trouble my way.”

“Trouble? Me? Perish the thought.” His hand rested comfortably on the holister of his gun, ready to shoot if the girl pulled out a weapon from the briefcase. “We’ll talk about repeat appearances after I see how you do today.”

Marinette rolled her eyes. “Any wounds other than the obvious?”

“Just need the bullet out, and some stitches on the gash.” His shoulder and his abdomen, respectively. The gash looked nastier than the bullet; no shrapnel, but the cut on his stomach was jagged and wide. Not a normal, sharp blade. Probably needed a good cleaning.

She grabbed the tweezers, a sterilized needle, and medical thread. “That’s fine. Now are you going to undress, or am I going to have to cut your… costume… up?”

“Getting me naked already? We haven’t even had our first date yet.”

“Very funny, little Red Riding Hood. Now hop to it. I have class at 9 tomorrow and projects to finish tonight.” Somehow, trouble always seemed to find her when she least wanted it to. Not that she wanted to have trouble find her at all, but luck was a two way street, and for all that being Ladybug granted her good luck, she attracted criminals like catnip. 

“And here my informants had me thinking you were a regular Florence Nightingale.”

Marinette snorted. “They wish. I’ve got to ask who told you, because everybody should know the rules. You know, the ones where they don’t speak of my existence to their higher ups?”

“I’m not a rat,” Red Hood said, taking the top part of his outfit off. “And it’s not like you would have gone unnoticed anyways. You might be treating small timers now, but people catch on to healers pretty easy.”

“Because some gauze and sewing skills make me such a prime target.”

“No, your magic does.”

Shit. Marinette never told anyone she was using magic, and she rarely used it unless it was a dire situation. If she could patch them up using regular skills, she did. 

“Yeah right, if I had magic healing powers, do you think I’d be shoving my fingers into your shoulder to get a bullet out?”

“Not a very good liar, Lady Cross. You have this deer-caught-in-the-headlights look about you.”

“Thanks for the compliment. I’m also the deer that tramples through your windshield and takes a dump on the driver’s seat.” She maneuvered the tweezers a little rougher, hoping to make Red Hood hiss in pain. He just chuckled, amused. His high pain tolerance was getting rather annoying. She had half a mind to pour hydrogen peroxide over the wound just to see if that would make him show he was in pain, but thought better of it. Even though she didn’t like the man, she also didn’t want to piss him off. Or worse, have him come back and make her fix him up again. 

Threading the needle, she made quick, small stitches on his shoulder, sewing the bullet hole up, then put some petroleum jelly to speed up the healing process and reduce scarring. At least the wound was in a position that didn’t require a lot of gauze. She needed to go out and buy some more soon. She barely had enough to wrap around Red Hood’s waist.

“So, the magic,” Red Hood started. “Is it a conditional thing? Can you not use it all the time?”

“Again, I don’t have magic.” Marinette did have to use some antibacterial on the knife wound. He would need to take good care of that one to make sure it didn’t get infected. 

“So a meta, then. What are you doing in Gotham? Everybody knows Batman hates metas.”

“Not a meta, either, sorry to disappoint.” She tied off the gauze, then stood to wash her hands. “Make sure to clean the stomach wound well. Hope you have your tetanus shot, otherwise you should look into getting one.”

“Surprisingly, I’m inclined to believe you on the not-a-meta thing. Back to the first thing, then. Magic. Why don’t you show me the old razzle dazzle? Do you have to say one of those weird spells like the godmother in Cinderella? Bibbity bobbity boo?”

“You’re hilarious,” Marinette dead panned. 

“How’s this for magic? Bibbity bobbity boo, kindly leave. Shoo.” She followed his suggestion, made a show of jazz hands as well. “Pity I don’t use magic otherwise you’d be gone now. Anyways, it’s time for you to make your exit. It would be great if you didn't visit me again. Ever. Thanks.”

She ushered him out onto her patio, then slammed the sliding door. He saluted her before dropping off the side of the building. She could imagine the man under the helmet smirking.

Marinette ran a hand through her loose hair. “He’s going to come back, isn’t he.”

@jasonette-july-2k20

[heliads]

One Moves On Chapter Four: Crow Rock

Stiles Stilinski doesn’t know what to think when he’s taken by the Ghost Riders. He’s grateful to be joined by Y/N L/N, although when he finally escapes, no one seems to remember her at all.

previous / series masterlist / next

Now that he’s finished his research, Stiles isn’t sure what to do next. Does he drive over in a fit of glory and bad decision making, hope to find Y/N and pray she hasn’t left before he gets there? Does he risk traveling without a pack to one of the areas with the most supernatural activity other than Beacon Hills? 

In the end, Stiles decides to just go. Deliberating and hesitating won’t do him any good, not when Y/N is still out there, weaponless and with no idea where she is. Stiles spends a haphazard half hour running about his house, trying to put together supplies he might need for the trip, before finally stumbling over to his Jeep.

When he finally makes it out, keys clutched in his hand, Scott is waiting for him.

His best friend is leaning up against the driver’s side door, arms folded across his chest. Stiles’ steps falter. “You knew I was going?” Scott lifts a shoulder. “Your dad called me, said he was worried. We knew you’ve been concerned about Y/N, but we didn’t know that you would go this far. Where are you going, Stiles?”

Stiles holds up a hastily printed map. “Actually, I’m going to a town called Crow Rock. Good supernatural activity, and I followed the law of triangles-” Stiles’ voice dies off as he takes in the look on Scott’s face. “The law of triangles, which is a very reputable law from a very reputable manuscript which we all know about. Right. Well, I know how it sounds but trust me, it’s going to be alright.”

Scott sighs. “I want to believe you. Honestly, I do. But Y/N died months ago. You have to know that. I didn’t even know you cared this much about her. I’d call it grief, but you watched her die some time ago. She’s already buried.” Stiles frowns at him. “Is she? Where?” Scott fumbles for a moment. “Uh, in some cemetery.” Stiles presses his advantage. “Which cemetery? If we saw her buried, where is she?”

Scott’s brow furrows, and he stares at Stiles in bewilderment. “I can’t remember. I know where Allison and Aiden and all the others are buried, but I don’t know where she is.” Stiles throws his hands in the air. “This is exactly what I’m talking about. You don’t know because she isn’t dead. We never buried her so of course we can’t remember the cemetery. Scott, you have to believe me. She’s out there somewhere and I have to bring her back.”

Scott’s face softens. “You’re sure this will work? You know where to find her?” Stiles nods fervently. “I’ve done my research. Sometimes, people are pulled away from rifts by something called etheria. I was able to make it back safely from the Wild Hunt, but she wouldn’t. She’s not the first either- these victims, they call them etherials or something, have been disappearing for centuries. I’ve managed to track down another hotspot where she might be located and I think it’s my best shot at finding her.”

Scott nods once, then claps him on the shoulder. “I think you can do it.” Stiles looks up at him. “Really?” Scott smiles trustingly. “From what I’ve heard, you’ve put in a considerable amount of time for research. I think if anyone could track down an etherial who everyone else thinks is dead, it would be you.” Stiles grins. For some reason, hearing his best friend’s belief in him is enough to give Stiles a boost in confidence.

Scott steps away from the door of the Jeep, allowing Stiles access at last. “I just wanted to check with you before you go. To make sure you knew what you were doing.” He glances at the map, taking in the location of the hotspot. “There’s going to be a lot of supernatural trouble there. You sure you don’t want a backup group?” Stiles shakes his head, smiling. “I’m good, thank you. I think this is something I have to do by myself.”

Stiles climbs into the Jeep, giving himself a moment to think. This is it, the last moment before he sets off on his journey. He’s spent so much time preparing that it’s strange to think that this is his stepping off point, the last opportunity he has to back down and say that this is too dangerous, or that the chances are too great that he will fail.

Stiles turns on the ignition in a roar. Scott waves goodbye as the Jeep disappears down the road.

Stiles has only been driving for an hour or so before he notices a shift in the air. It’s not much, barely there, but yet something is not right. It’s like the atmosphere of the car has become quieter, even more silent than before. No one has entered or left the vehicle to warrant this silence, but it’s still enough to make Stiles feel slightly uneasy. He’d felt it a little when he was crossing over the boundary to Beacon Hills, a slight change in the energy as if by leaving he was passing through a barrier of some sort.

Stiles supposes it makes sense- you leave a hotspot, you might notice some change. Stiles doubts he would have noticed it had he not just been taken by the Wild Hunt or even gone without his temporary possession by the Nogitsune. He has a feeling that sensing this change in supernatural activity is an ability usually attributed to the supernatural, and the fact that he, a supposedly ordinary human, can sense it sets Stiles’ teeth on edge.

Stiles becomes aware of another change about fifteen minutes later. He sits up straighter in his seat, trying and failing to figure out what exactly is filling him with unease, and then he sees the sign. It’s faded, paint crumbling off of a metal backing. Even with the weathering of the sign, Stiles can still read the derelict letters: Welcome to Crow Rock. Stiles has made it at last.

The Jeep rumbles on, past the sign and onto the twisting roads. Scott, Lydia, and Malia had told him about visiting Canaan while he was still in the thrall of the Wild Hunt, and how the entire town had given off the uncanny, almost sinister energy of a ghost town. Stiles has no idea what it must have been like to walk those streets, but he has a suspicion that it would be pretty similar to how he feels right now, driving down the blocks and avenues in his truck.

Stiles has looked at images of Crow Rock from larger topographical maps, and realized that the town itself isn’t actually that big. He’d been happy then, thinking that maybe this was one instance of luck for himself and that it might not take as long to search the town for Y/N, but that hope is starting to wither away from him now. The town may be small, yes, with fewer hiding spots, but it also means fewer people to watch him. With fewer bystanders, the chance of supernaturals backing down from a public attack grows slimmer and slimmer with each mile Stiles travels within the town.

Stiles intended to drive to the center of town, where the hotspot of supernatural activity would most likely be the highest. However, as he goes he finds that certain roads are blocked off or congested with traffic that miraculously vanishes a few blocks down. He’s forced to take alternate routes, driving him on a convoluted path away from the entrance. It gives Stiles a sneaking suspicion that he’s being intentionally misrouted, that something is drawing him close.

Stiles has just taken a turn into a new street when he’s forced to come to an abrupt stop. A construction barricade has been laid across the road, orange and white paint signaling that he can travel no further. Stiles checks his rearview mirrors, ready to make a U-turn and get onto another road, when he freezes in place. A group of people is slowly spilling out into the road behind him, and they come to a stop at the main road, blocking off any chance of escape. They all consider Stiles with identical glares. This is not good.

Seeing as he can’t drive anywhere without mowing down this group of people, Stiles turns off the ignition and starts to climb down out of the Jeep. All of his instincts are screaming at him to stay in the car, to not give up the one piece of shelter he still has left, but it’s not like he has much of a choice. At least he’d be able to run on foot- if he remains in the Jeep, he’d just be a sitting duck.

Stiles walks away from the car, coming to a stop a few yards away from the group. One man steps forward, glaring at Stiles with an almost animal rage. “You should not have come here, human. You reek of enemy packs.” Most people would be smart and hold their tongues, choosing to live instead of delivering a supposedly witty retort. Stiles prefers to save his academic success for the tests in school.

“I think it’s kind of mean to go up to people and tell them they smell. I mean, I showered this morning, I can’t be that bad.” The man raises an eyebrow. “You are a human with a death wish, I see. It is not wise to pick a fight that you cannot win.” Stiles shrugs. “I’m just a tourist, man. I can see why your driving tours got such low reviews on Yelp.”

The man scoffs, the sound skidding deep in his throat like the roar of an engine. “I am quickly tiring of you. I will give you one minute to leave this town. If you are not gone by then, you will be dead.” Stiles shakes his head slowly. “I can’t do that. I’m here for someone.” The man roars at him, the sound echoing off of the buildings around them to culminate in a low din of noise. “Then you will die here instead.”

The man charges towards Stiles, claws already starting to extend from his fingers. Stiles takes one look at him and decides to do what he does best: run. He spins on his heels, dashing towards his Jeep with every ounce of energy still left in him. He’s almost there, one hand flung out towards the door, when a werewolf skids to a stop in front of him. It lets out a piercing howl, the sound of an animal about to attack.

Suddenly, a knife slams into its throat, and the wolf slumps sideways. Stiles’ head jerks up as he looks for his savior. A blur of flashing knives and running limbs appears out of nowhere, and a figure grabs the knife from the werewolf’s throat to throw it at another approaching wolf. Then the figure turns to Stiles, and he feels like he could dance with joy.

“Y/N?” She flashes him a grin. “Great to see you. Get in the Jeep.” Stiles doesn’t think twice, diving for the door and throwing himself in. Y/N climbs into the passenger seat, slamming the door closed just before a werewolf can slash her to ribbons. Stiles turns on the ignition, thanking everything holy and then some that the engine doesn’t fail him. He begins the turn to direct his car back towards the road, and then hesitates.

Y/N stares at him. “What are you waiting for? Do you enjoy being killed by enemy packs?” Stiles gestures towards the road. “The werewolves are blocking all the lanes!” Y/N’s eyes widen in something like incredulity. “Then run them over!” Stiles returns her startled gaze. “They’ll wreck my car!” Y/N grabs his hand, forcing it back onto the wheel. “If you stay here, they’ll wreck your car by dragging your dead body out of it and tearing it to shreds. Drive!”

A wolf howls nearby, raising his hand to slash at the metal body of the car. This is enough to motivate him, and Stiles slams a foot on the gas. The Jeep lurches forward, and the werewolves are forced to dive out of the way lest they get flattened by the wheels. The Jeep races around corners and through straightaways before they finally lose the enemy pack and the roads become deserted once more.

Stiles stares at the windshield unseeingly. His hands still shake from the close call. “You know, I don’t think I used my turn signal once during all of this.” There’s a quiet sound next to him, and for a second Stiles thinks that Y/N has started sobbing. Then he looks over and realizes that she’s doubled over in silent laughter. She manages to choke out two words. “Turn signal?”

Stiles stares at her for a second, then starts laughing too. Maybe it’s the thrill of yet another near death experience, or the rush of gratitude that he’s managed to find her at last, but all of a sudden every single thing in the world seems funny. He has to divert his attention back to the road in a jolt lest he run over a suicidal squirrel, which just makes them laugh even harder.

At last, they approach the sign announcing that they will shortly be leaving Crow Rock. Y/N’s laughter dies on her lips as she stares at the sign, then speaks abruptly. “Stop the car.” Stiles stares at her as she jumps out before the wheels have even stopped moving. He puts the car in park just a little bit beyond the sign, then leaps out after her. “What are you doing? Do you like the idea of being slashed to bits by the enemy packs?”

Y/N shakes her head, staring at him with quiet grief. “I can’t leave the town.” Stiles walks back over to her. “What are you talking about?” Y/N looks at him, and Stiles realizes that she doesn’t look afraid or even disappointed. Her face only holds a calm acceptance of a depressing fact. “I can’t leave. I’ve tried before, but the town won’t let me. Look.” She moves to step forward, past the ‘Leaving Crow Rock’ sign, but her feet refuse to budge. It’s as if she’s trying to walk into an invisible wall.

“I’ve tried to leave, ever since I showed up here, but I can’t. It’s like the same magic that brought me here intends on trapping me here forever.” Stiles’ eyes widen. “It’s the etheria. All those manuscripts talked about how people would be yanked away to other hotspots and never return. I thought they just meant that it was the olden days or whatever and that long of a distance was too far to travel without cars or something, but they literally meant that they couldn’t leave.”

Stiles shakes his head, unable to accept this. “I’m not giving up, not now. I’m not losing you again.” Y/N laughs quietly at that. The sound is bittersweet and tears at his heart. “I don’t think you have a choice, Stiles. There’s no way around this.” Stiles’ pulse is thundering in his veins. “No, I’m going to make a choice. Even if I have to do it all myself. No one is supposed to remember the etherials, but I remember you. We’re the exception, Y/N. I am not leaving you again.”

Out of some impulse, Stiles steps forward, wrapping his arms around Y/N and pulling her close. She stiffens for a second, then returns his embrace. After so many days of hearing everyone tell him that she was dead, that she didn’t exist, having her so close is like a dream or an impossibility. They stumble slightly as a strong wind hits them, shifting slightly but not letting go. Y/N gasps quietly, the sound torn away from her chest. Stiles looks at her. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Y/N shakes her head slightly. “I don’t know. I feel like-” Her eyes widen as she stares at the sign to Crow Rock, the sign that is now behind them. In that brief moment, when they’d moved to avoid the wind, they’d moved over the town barrier. It had just been mere inches, but it was enough. Y/N stares at him in awe. “How did that happen? It’s never happened before.”

Stiles can just smile at her, feeling relief crest over him like a wave. “I told you, didn’t I? We’re the exception. Now, I don’t know about you, but I think I’d like to go home.” She beams at him. “I think I’d like that a lot.” Stiles reaches out, wrapping his hand around hers to guide her back to the car. They’re together at last, and they can finally make their way back to where they belong.

one moves on tag list: @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​, @blahhhhhhhaaa​