#The jacket might be ugly but I tried fr fr fr!!!

[teaitis]

Bright boy!!

[ringmyheart]

Can I request Vin Jin boyfriend headcanons and some fluff? (You don't have to force yourself)

(This and the other vin jin rq were merged!)

Honestly the way I see it, it doesn’t matter if you’re a very calm person or outgoing person. No matter what this relationship is gonna end up being considerably chaotic

He ropes you into everything he does. Doesn’t matter if u r a design student or an architecture student or if ur on the opposite side of the school from him, u r practically in his class. Dating him is like signing a contract sealing away ur own life bc he makes it a point to be ALWAYS w u

In class he doesn’t gaf if the teacher has ur seat on the other end of class, he is somehow finding a way to sit next to u against ur will or not. And when the teacher moves u two away from eachother INTENTIONALLY bc of this, he is threatening whoever happened to sit next to u to trade seats w him. He will go as far as to dress up as them to make it look like they’re them to be next to u and he’s so dramatic ab it.... being away from u felt like u were star crossed lovers whom the world was fiercely against

And if UR against this cuz ur tired of getting in trouble in class, or if you reject any of his advances, he’s gonna be really, really, really offended. He will at first sputter and be kinda shy and embarrassed about it, before he goes “fine! Have fun on your own without me, the greatest thing in your fucking life!”

He move seats back and will glare at you periodically every five minutes to pavlov dog you so that every five minutes every day, even when he’s not there, you feel the burning stare of vin jin

If you’re his s/o, he’ll buy you a matching pair of sunglasses so ur the freshest looking couple around Seoul (they’re hideous and thick but he thinks u look fly)

The glasses don’t have nearly as many layers as his does for himself so u can see, and u wonder how he managed to make them just as bulky and if he did it on purpose to sabotage u. Like “did u make my glasses purposefully ugly so no one else will want me?”

U have to dodge a punch after saying anything like that ab his fashion decisions LMAOAO

He’s rlly proud of u two matching. With the glasses and anything in general. He’ll make you wear a jacket matching his, or the same shoes and he will stop people in the hall and be like “wait. Notice anything cool ab us today?? Cooler than normal??”

And when they don’t respond he boasts “that’s right!! Me and my other half r matching. Look at us and weep, losers.” He thinks u two look so good....... if ur enthusiastic ab wearing matching things too he is elated u have to pray that tomorrow he won’t show up w another “if lost return to Vin Jin” “I’m Vin Jin” pair of jackets or anything of the like bc it happens SO OFTEN

And on the topic of sharing when it’s cold he likes to share jackets and blankets w u. Ur desks r moved by eachother by vin jin himself and u two share one blanket over u and shiver bc he just likes it, sharing w u plus he’s slightly warmer. And yes if you guys had indivizual blankets you would be warmer, but u guys have to struggle together he doesn’t care what anyone says (yes even ur protests ur sharing that one blanket wether he has to wrap it around u himself and tear up the one u brought on ur own or what”

He is so blind in love that he cannot tell when u guys suck at stuff. Like if ur in the wrong he doesnt care ur RIGHT and he’s taking that to the grave. He can belittle u and call u out but if someone else says ur in the wrong it’s on sight

Will die protecting ur name even when ur the one who was genuinely wrong

He forces u to make a beat for him to rap to. He loves rapping and wants to enjoy it w u, so ur forcefed YouTube videos of how to beatbox so u can be his bgm and eventually u probably just start to enjoy it to

And u always start a beat and he starts busting out rhymes and it’s SO BAD. It doesn’t matter if ur good at beatboxing if vin Jin is on the track w u it’s gonna sound terrible he brings the quality down immensely but u two just cannot tell

Like after a two session ur like “omg... that was so good. We should go pro?” “Fuck yea we should we’re better than those posers” “we could rlly make it in the industry fr” no u absolutely could not

During the school festival, u sang with him and it was SO bad. Half the crowd is gonna have 2 be hospitalized but u two had FUN up on the stage

Like I said, he has absolute faith in u. All u do is right. If ur driving a car for the first time, he is going to be ur little hype man doesn’t matter if u suck. U hit a curb and he went “YES babe!! Ur killing it cant wait till u hit the road bby” Ur not allowed to touch a car for the next two years now bc he kept cheering u on when u we’re doing CLEARLY wrong things

On a plane u r looking for the bathroom like pensively and u see a handle and look back and r like “is this it???” And vin jin thinking u r all righteous will go “yea babe go for it” and u open it and u depressurizate the cabin immediately

Now both on like 5 no fly lists

He loves to do things with u, like I mentioned earlier, and things he wouldn’t do alone he’ll do w u. Like drawing alone?? Boring. Drawing w Y/N??!!! Who knows what could happen..... so much fun could ensue. Maybe he will draw u cutely. Maybe he will draw u so ugly u will be forced to engage in a fight.

He likes to play just dance w u and compete for the “greats/all star!” Little titles above, and it becomes like a Friday night ritual for u two to turn just dance on and just go at it. But sometimes he’ll get too intense and suddenly he’s actually fighting for the chance to beat u. Will trip u so u lose on purpose

He makes u listen to him sing and rap to u. And u try to leave and he hugs tightly and is like LISTEN IFS FOR U, DONT BE UNGRATEFUL and now u have to listen

He makes u a mixtape of songs he made himself and they are all considerably worse than “remember the times we had”. It’s uploaded on SoundCloud and all the comments r hate and u listen to it a lot bc u know he loves u sm he made u a mixtape ya ur gonna play that but everyone else hates it w a passion

Like the comments r like:

Daniel: well.... it’s definitely a song 😅 I’m glad you love (y/n) so much!

Duke: he’s not making it out the hood 😐

Zach: never let this man in a studio AGAIN

Mary: this should’ve stayed in the CD

(Y/N): love it! 😍

Zoe: kill your producer 💀

Mira: ...

He’s overprotective too

If someone looks at u for more than a second he’ll go “what?? U think she is hot, huh? I’ll kick ur ass fucking perv.... cmon babe let’s go”

Will throw his arm around u and streer u the opposite way of any potentially good looking ppl to keep ur eyes on him

Oh Daniel is coming?? What a coincidence u and vin Jin suddenly have to turn the corner to the other way of ur classroom for some reason

Eli is near?!!! Oh no u just got milk spilt in ur eye!! Oh no now he has to wipe ur eyes and u two have to leave the cafeteria whatever will he do

It’s not that he doesn’t have faith in u, he doesn’t have faith in other men. Like he thinks they r all competition, and doesn’t doubt ur loyalty rather doubts how good he can b for u

WILL beat someone up for u. If someone smokes while ur around suddenly his fists r swinging at them cuz even if u smoke or vape urself no one else can get that stuff in ur lungs but YOU or HIM!!

If ur crossing the street and a car almost hits u, it’s the cars fault and he’s kicking the license plate and cursing it out for almost touching u “stupid fucking piece of metal”

Is the type of boyfriend to call u when he knows ur in an Uber and be like “babe u got ur gun w u right?? Oh don’t forget ur BOMB and ur MACHETE!! Yeah just left the house I killed some ppl nbd haha anyways HRU what’s ur Uber driver like” so the driver of ur car won’t even think ab kidnapping u. He has got ur back even when u do not want it

He doesn’t want u to see his eyes, so he’ll tell you to look away so he can take his glasses off and look at u in full color in all ur glory but he never tells u WHY he’s telling u to look away u think it’s a weird thing of his, or he’s insecure ab his face which is partially true but really he’s taking his glasses off and just looking at u. Adoringly.....

He hates PDA. He loves PDA. Do u see his dilemma

Like he loves PDA but doesn’t want anyone seeing him vulnerable even u.... so he’ll hold ur hand and be like “EWWW WHAT R U DOING GET YR HAND OFF MINE”

If u take the lead THATS best bc he can blame it on u and it’s ur fault he HAS to lock fingers w u cuz u did it to him first and he has an excuse to touch u and v like u started this im just sending u ur own energy back 😤

The type to be just like blind, overwhelmed in love. Always thinks ab u, always wants to be w u, worries ab u a lot and frets over u without showing it.... he hates it and loves it to death. Despises it but wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world

Eats lunch w u in the cafeteria and if u sit w someone else u r the ultimate traitor and he will trash talk u to hide his hurt to Mary the entire lunchtime. Kinda possessive.... wants u to also only think about him

WOULDNT EVER fight u for real. Play fights occur VERY often, like pillow fights, tripping ur foot when u say a joke insulting him, grabbing ur collar but he would sooner die than lay a finger on u

Verbal fights happen a lot and if he ever like LOSES it he may lash out and almost hit u and follow thru. I don’t think he’d be able to catch himself that quickly, and if he ever did he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Literally until the day dies he will take it to his grave

He may not sputter out apologieswill just look at u incredulously and then at his hands because what had he done? What did he just do? To you???????? (Y/n))))?????? His (y/n)??? Light of his life?

Will apologize probably over text or through a note or call, and if u don’t respond he is consumed by regret and tries to find u instantly like runs back to ur place

If u forgive him he feels bad still, because does he deserve it? And he might just isolate himself for a bit bc he can’t face u and if it left a scar he is dead inside. It kills him, literally

I could go on w this but I’ll probably save it for another separate pair of hcs later 😭

If u guys ever break up he will fight for u again and won’t stop till ur back together like flowers in ur locker every day, chocolate give during lunch, etc. He wont ever give up hope that he can win u over again and be w u again. He would keep trying, when he wakes up his first thought is ur name in a cold panic bc he can’t rest easy till ur his again and he will try and show off and poorly serenade u and trash his price and be corny and cheesy to get u back

Will set up a performance w the school to let him rap w a mic during lunch for u and he’s saying bars like “(read in bad rapping voice w inconsistent beat) (y/n), love of my life, uh, without you I’d die, uh. Please won’t you take me back? Yuh, without you ima have a heart attack. (Wha!). (Y/n), love of my life, yeah, without you I’m in strife, yup! Please be mine again, (babe), I can never rest till then.”

If the embarrassment doesn’t make u take him back so he’ll pls stop, and when he stands up on the lunch tables to do a little performance doesn’t do it either, then the odd sincerity of his voice and pain in his look (even tho while rapping he sticks out his lower lip in a weird pout) definitely, hopefully will

U make everything worth it !! Truly the light of his life

I hope these were what u wanted, I just had fun w them and wrote stuff that came off the top of my head when I thought of VJ!! ❤️

[mistymark]

the boyfriend one. [jaemin]

masterlist // part of the nct as boyfriends series // 1.1k

taeil // taeyong // johnny // doyoung // ten // kun // yuta // winwin // jaehyun // jungwoo // lucas // mark // renjun // jeno // haechan // jaemin // chenle // jisung

the OG boyfriend material

look it up in the dictionary

you will find NA JAEMIN

like we been knew sis

this boy

*deep breath*

IS THE MOST BOYFRIEND BOYFRIEND TO EVER BOYFRIEND

can u tell he’s my bias bc I cant breathe

we’re gonna get this out of the way now:

Stares. At. Your. Lips.

a lot

like imagine what he does to jeno,,, and then multiply that by a thousand

especially when he laughs???

like its just a random habit he has

whenever you make a joke or say something dumb he just laughs and his gaze automatically goes to your lips

its never something you've brought up but you've always been curious as to w h y

is So Obvious that he likes you

especially when ur not actually together and ur in the pre-dating // extreme flirting stage

would leave u little notes and buy you small things and send you music he thinks you'd like and was Constantly touching u

like he'd have his arm around your shoulders (bc boy is tall af) but still claim that you're “just friends”

like okay jaemin everyone knows ur in love calm down

walks you home and waits for you to go inside before he leaves just to make sure youre safe

dresses rly well and its enough for your friends to be very kinda jealous

because he’s literally the perfect boy and he just outshines everyone else you know

like catch jaemin winning plushies at arcades and gifting them to you

and then complaining when you don't win him one

or sharing his drinks with you without being asked

and laughs when u splutter at his caffeine overdosed-coffees

and he makes it so obvious that he truly loves you

that it both sickens and makes others jealous

bc when he looks at you his eyes are just filled with love

doesn't cook a lot but when he does its mostly for you

like its enough for other members to comment on him actually cooking for once

its usually things like “wow that's a lot of food,, y/n coming over?”

doesn't talk about u a lot with the members

like he wouldn't bring you up in conversation

but trust he's thinking about u

like someone will mention a new movie that has just hit the cinemas and in his head hes thinking “oh y/n wanted to see that movie”

but he won't say it

has sooo many clothes to give you

like a whole wardrobe of hoodies and sweatshirts that he is Ready To Provide 

when ur going out and u need a jacket he's always throwing his or a hoodie at you the minute you shiver

squishes ur cheeks when u wear ur clothes bc youre so cute

likes it when u surprise him by coming to put ur head in his lap

always buys 2+ facemasks at once bc u bet when he puts one on ur running into the room like wait !!!! me too !!!!!

pouts when u laugh at him for wanting you to put it on for him

hums into your neck when u hug

and u can feel him smile at the sound of your giggles

when u laugh he always steps back and lets u put ur head in his chest

hugs u really tight

you've never had a light hug from Jaemin

he doesnt do that kind of stuff

gets rlly excited abt going shopping with you

picks out clothes he thinks would look good on you but also,,, thinks,, everything,, would look good on u

gives u one AirPod when ur out so u can listen to the same music

holds your hand in cars and on buses and trains

he doesnt know why he likes it so much

his background is a super aesthetic pic of u at the beach bET

like its probably a silhouette

but knowing jaemin his home screen is a super zoomed in pic of ur pre-pubescent self

like maybe u have braces maybe u have zits maybe u look nothing like what you look like now

but he loves that photo so much

also bc he knows you hate showing it to others

so he feels flattered that he gets to see it

and fully plans on exploiting it like the evil genius he is

buys you dumb shit from every country hes been to

for some reason he thinks its hilarious to give you the ugliest keychains he could find in each country

and u both divide them up and hang them from the zippers on ur backpacks

low-key its the only couple thing u sport in public

u don't have matching hoodies or many (intentionally) matching clothes

bc he just gives you his

you bought matching phone cases once but “one of the members” broke it

he tried to get jaehyun and Johnny to glue it back together

they ended up almost super-gluing jaemins phone to the case

he gave up after that

you have jewellery you've bought for each other but they're not exactly matching

so yeah

the only really matching couple things is the ugly keychains

u still really treasure them

ur faves are in a safe place in ur room

one is an ugly fridge-magnet-thick keychain that has a rubber photo frame, with a pic of the two of you inside

sure, youre both pulling ugly faces

but the colourful cartoon Tokyo skyline surrounding the picture makes it better

when hes gone he makes playlists for you

and hell text you when hes added to it

makes u those playlists that just have a message in the song titles

like “hey” “I miss you” “and” “I fucking love you” “butt” “I know you” “stole my shirt” “asshole”

- a playlist he made after he facetimed you and saw you wearing one of his shirts

he left it there for you !! he gave it to you !!!

but will he recognise this fact? no

will 100% ditch the other members for u

in the sense of PDA

like jisungs cheeks might be his focus one moment but the second ur cheeks puff out while youre eating

hes over in a flash poking and prodding your face

the biggest shit-eating grin on his face 

renjun groans every time bc he busts out the aegyo voice

OH BUT IF YOU DID AEGYO

ironically or to make him do something fr you

hes Fully Gone

screaming

raising his arms

falling to the floor

like

how can

you be

so

c UT E

you can always bring a smile to his face

all in all ur relationship is so pure

so so so so so so pure

100000/10 for boyfriend jaemin

[searchforthescars]

Little Beast - Chapter 6/9

It wasn’t until we were well past the middle of it 

that we realized the old dull pain, whose stitched wrists and clammy fingers, far from being subverted, had only slipped underneath us, freshly scrubbed.

Mirrors and shop windows returned our faces to us, replete with the tight lips and the eyes that remained eyes and not the doorways we had hoped for. 

Murphy can’t remember the last time he has been this anxious. As he paces the diner floor during the downtime of his shift, he has to make a conscious effort not to blush or rub his sweaty palms against his jeans. Those are two obvious tells that he’s nervous, and everyone on shift today is too observant for his taste.

The date is more of a symbolic action than anything else, he reassures himself. They’d been living together since June, after all, so there’s really no need to keep up a pretense or act like anything other than his shitty self.

Then again, she doesn’t seem to think he’s that bad. That’s part of what blows his mind. Everyone he knows, including Raven, might disagree. Then again, they don’t know her the same way he does. Emori has a way of pulling empathy out of him that he still can’t understand. [Read on Ao3]

“You good?” Lincoln asks quietly as he reaches over the stove to grab a box of chips. “You’ve been lost in thought all day.”

“Yeah,” Murphy says, shaking his head. “Sorry. Just thinking.”

“About Emori?”

Murphy snorts. “That obvious?”

Lincoln gives him a smile that’s almost proud. “Only to the observant.”

“Meaning that I pointed it out to Lincoln,” Luna interjects, whacking Lincoln on the arm with the ledger as she exits the office. “He couldn’t discern his way out of a paper bag.”

“Ouch.” Lincoln shakes his head ruefully. “She just attacked my whole life.”

Murphy laughs under his breath, trying not to think about how that’s something Emori would say. Everything circles back to her these days, and the only reason it bothers him is because he’s sick of being such a sap that even Monty can get an easy rise out of him.

“Is she coming in today?” Anya asks, apparently having heard the entire exchange from the back near the refrigerators. “She’s usually wherever you are. It’s kinda cute. Or depressing,” she adds as an afterthought.

“I asked her to stay home today.” Murphy jabs at the burgers on the grill with a metal spatula. The scraping sound it makes is rewarding. “I want to actually pick her up and shit. Like a real date.”

“Language!” Jasper shouts over the counter. Monty laughs. Murphy rolls his eyes.

“It’s my kitchen and I’ll swear if I want to,” he retorts.

“Actually,” Anya corrects, “it’s my kitchen. And watch your language; there are kids in here.”

Murphy looks out into the dining room, where two families with young kids in booster seats chat amongst themselves and peer out the windows. “Sorry,” he grumbles, turning back to the food he’s supposed to be making for them and his friends, who are apparently bottomless pits when it comes to unhealthy food. It’s going to be a busy day today, and he’s only two hours into an eight hour shift.

Oh, well. At least it will keep his mind off Emori. He hasn’t thought about her this much since he realized he was in love with her. It’s not that she wasn’t memorable or important to him, it’s that she’s managed to weave herself into his life so effortlessly. He can’t remember what it was like before her. He likes it, but he’ll never admit it. The second he gets attached is the second everything goes to hell.

When he goes on his lunch break, he shuts himself in the office and opens his phone to find three new texts from Emori. He still feels warm every time he powers on the phone she gave him; it’s the nicest thing he’s owned in a long time, even if it was stolen.

Hey, the first text reads, where do you keep your mixing bowl? And spices? I don’t want to mess up your stuff but I’m trying to be useful. And I’m bored.

The second text came in an hour later. Update: found them. I didn’t burn the place down. Going for a run now. Be back in an hour.

Back , said the third text, which had come in a couple minutes before Murphy’s break started. He starts to draft a reply, then decides to just call instead. Texting frustrates her since she only has one usable hand.

“Hi, John!” She sounds happy to hear from him. Another thing he’s not used to. “Are you on your break?”

“Yeah.” He blinks hard, tries not to sound so dead inside. “It’s busy today. Everyone and their weekend-warrior mother is out on the roads.”

Emori laughs. It’s low and warm and makes butterflies explode in his stomach. “Can’t say I wish I was there.” A pause, then, “are you excited for tonight?”

He nods. “It’s all I can think about,” he admits quietly.

He can hear the smile in her voice. “Me too.”

“Oh, and I saw the jacket you left for me.” He looks at the rack in the corner of the office, where an army-green jacket with a peculiar red shoulder patch hangs. It’s unique and a little weird, but it fits well and reminds him of Emori. She had folded it neatly and left it near the cot while he was asleep, along with a note that said just because . “I really like it.”

“I’m glad.” She laughs. “Clarke thought I was crazy to buy it, but it made me think of you.”

“What were you doing, shopping with Clarke?”

He can hear the mischievous smirk in Emori’s voice. “You’ll have to wait and see.”

“Uh oh.” He waves at Luna when she lets herself in to sit at the desk. “Am I going to like this.”

“Probably.” The uncertainty in her voice worries him, but he knows she’ll just dodge if she asks. “You’re still picking me up at five, right?”

He nods. “Yeah. I’m ringing the doorbell and everything.”

“You’re cute, John. I’ll see you then.” She hangs up, and Murphy allows himself the barest of smiles, knowing that only Luna is in the room to judge him.

“You really like her,” Luna notes, not even looking up from the receipts spread over the desk.

“I don’t deserve her,” he retorts. “She doesn’t know about the shit I’ve done.”

“Are you going to tell her?”

“Did you tell Raven? About what you are? What you’ve done?” he asks. Luna flinches. The old familiar hatefulness fills him again. “I’m gonna take that as a no.”

“There’s no reason to.” Her voice is even, deadly calm. If Murphy didn’t know better, he’d assume she was unbothered by his comments. But he does know better, and he knows that he has just pushed on a very dangerous boundary.

“The darkness inside of me is different than what’s inside of you,” she finally says, looking at him. “You could change. Choose to be better.”

Murphy snorts. “The darkness can kiss my worthless ass.” He stands up, shoving his phone into his pocket. “What Emori knows won’t hurt her.”

“Until she finds out,” is all Luna says as the door swings shut. The thought does nothing but make Murphy’s blood run cold.

It’s a little weird ringing his own doorbell, but Murphy doesn’t mind. He brought a change of clothes to the diner and had changed after his shift, reappearing in a clean button-down and the only pair of slacks he owns. Raven and Bellamy had wolf-whistled mockingly. All Anya had done was tell him to fix his collar, but he wasn’t trying to impress them anyway, so what did it matter.

Realistically, he knows it won’t really impress Emori either. She doesn’t seem to care what he wears or how he looks, which is a relief because he usually dresses like a hot mess. But his father had prepared him for dating, and told him to always look his best when taking a girl out. The lesson is still at the front of his mind.

When Emori pulls open the door, he plans to say something, but all words fail him as he regards her. She’s in a dress. An honest-to-God dress. Murphy doesn’t know how to react. It’s plain and black, sleeves covering her big hand and a long skirt covering her boots. On anyone else, it would be ugly, but it fits her, somehow; it’s just as interesting as she is when she tries. Makeup covers the tattoo on her face – Murphy’s almost disappointed by that, but he knows she’ll be more comfortable so it’s okay – and her hair is down, falling haphazard over her shoulders and down her back.

Murphy wants to kiss her. He doesn’t, but he does close his mouth and bring his eyes back up to her face. She’s wearing an uncertain expression, her eyes fixed on the floor.

“Hey.” he tilts her chin up so she looks at him. “You look beautiful.”

She smiles slightly, her small hand fisting in her skirt. “I wanted to try something new. Do you really like it?”

He nods, taking both her hands in his. The smooth fabric of the dress glides right over her left hand. “Hell yeah.”

She exhales a breath he’s sure she’s been holding. “Good.” Then she looks him up and down - just like she had that day in his bedroom. Heat flares through him, and he briefly wonders what else the hands he holds are good for. “You look nice too,” she tells him, getting on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his cheek. “I didn’t know you owned nice clothes.”

“You mean you didn’t go through my drawers while I was gone?” he asks, teasingly. “I figured you would have.”

She laughs, and the tension between them dissipates. He takes her down to his car, remembers to get the door for her, and they spend the drive to the restaurant in near-silence, listening to the radio, their hands resting atop one another.

“So,” he starts after they’ve placed their orders. He had ordered for both of them, telling her to trust him. She did, surprisingly. That’s a habit she’ll have to break. “What did you need spices for?”

Emori fiddles with the fork at her place setting. “I found your recipe books. I wanted to try making something.”

Murphy frowns. “What recipe books?”

“The ones in your hall closet.” She takes a sip of water. They’re sitting outside, their table lit up by flickering lights strung above their heads. She looks ethereal in the glow.

“Oh.” Murphy remembers those now, remembers when he shoved them in there since it’s the last place he’d ever go. “You shouldn’t have been in there.”

Now it’s her turn to frown. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine.” He tries to keep anger from his voice. It’s not her fault. She didn’t know. Calm down, Murphy. “Did you make anything decent?”

She shrugs, obviously still perturbed that she accidentally invaded his privacy. “I think so. You’ll have to taste it and tell me. I don’t really know what I’m doing in the kitchen, but I wanted to do something to help.”

He reaches out, takes her small hand in his. To their left, the older couple at the bar gives them soft, reminiscing looks. “You don’t have to do anything. I like having you around; you don’t owe me anything.”

“I know, but it’s not right.” She runs her thumb over his knuckles. “I don’t feel like I’m your guest, not since…”

“Since we’re together?” he finishes. When she nods, he feels equal parts fear and happiness shoot through him. “I get it. If this becomes a long-term thing, then we’ll split things up, okay?”

She nods. “Deal.”

Neither of them knows how to do this. It becomes increasingly apparent to him that she’s unused to men treating her with respect, and he knows it’s obvious that he’s horrible at carrying on a conversation without negativity or swearing. He knows she wants to ask about the cookbooks, about his angry reaction, and maybe she will when they get home.

He’s beginning to wonder if this is a bad idea, if he needs to pull the plug on this, and ask her to leave before he falls so deep he can't pull himself out when she finally breaks his heart or leaves . He’s not an idiot – it will happen. Nothing good can stay. Not in his life. Besides, he knows she’s a conwoman and that she’s lived all over the eastern seaboard. How many guys has she done this to? Maybe their entire life together – can he call it that? – has been a lie.

He does believe her brother is dead. The nightmares are too intense, too frightening to be fabricated. But everything else could be an act. Is he paranoid? Maybe, but he’s had too many losses and betrayals to be anything less than wary.

Still, he thinks, looking over the table at her and smiling at her when she grins at him, while he has her, he’s going to try to deserve her. And when she leaves because she’s found another place or gotten bored of him, he’ll try to pick up the pieces.

“See, what did I tell you?” They’re standing on the old bridge overlooking the gap between the two mountains that make up most of the Blue Ridge range. The sun is setting in the space between them, turning the sky into a mess of orange, red and pink.

“It’s beautiful,” she murmurs, resting her head against his shoulder. Without really thinking, he presses a kiss to her hairline, ignoring the voice in his head that’s only growing louder in its insistence that this is a lie. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

He says nothing. She twists her head to look up at him. “So.” Her voice is light, teasing. “Will there be a second date?”

Murphy tightens his grip on the bridge railing. “I don’t know. Depends on how long you’re going to stay.”

Emori lifts her head and frowns at him. “What do you mean?”

Murphy sighs. “Never mind. I’m being stupid.”

“No, John.” Her voice takes a hard edge, a defensive edge. He’s never heard her like this. It makes him nervous. “What did you mean by that?”

“Just that if this is a con, it’s a damn good one.”

She thumps her big hand on the railing. “I knew I shouldn’t have told you that,” she exclaims. “John, I’m not lying to you. I want this; I want us . I want your life, and I want you.”

“For how long?” The f ear is welling up in him again, and he lets it sit in his gut, fueling his anger and harsh words . “How long until you get bored of me, bored of Virginia, and move onto the next city? The next man?”

“What?” She’s angry too, now, and incredulous. Her eyes are bright and her hair whips in the sudden wind coming in from the hills. Above them, a bird cries. “You don’t know what you’re talking about, John.”

“Then explain it to me,” he counters, “because I don’t know a damn thing about you. Not really.”

“That’s not true.” Her voice is close to breaking. The sick, selfish, broken thing in him is satisfied. “You know all the important things.”

“That’s not good enough!” His voice is loud enough to echo back to them. “Why are you here, really? What do you want? I think you’re here for a reason; I just don’t know what it is yet.”

“It’s you!” she cries, shoving her hair out of her face. “I came with you because I trust you! When you found me by the sea, I was trying to figure out a way to get back to you - to find you again.”

“You barely knew me,” he argues, not daring to consider that the thought of him had followed her for that long. “Why?”

“Because you trusted me!” she yells. “You let me stay in the diner with you, let me help you close and drove me home even though you barely knew me. You talked to me; you actually liked me. That never happens!”

“So you based everything on coming back to a shitty town to find one shitty person you didn’t even know?” He laughs. It’s cruel, mean. “I find that hard to believe.”

“Maybe…” her voice goes soft, her face turning vulnerable. “Maybe I felt safe with you. Maybe I knew that something bad was following us and maybe I would have liked to stay in your car for a little longer that night.”

Murphy stops at that, his anger dying when he looks at her, really looks, and sees her rounded shoulders and glassy eyes. “I don’t know why you’re doubting me,” she all but whispers, “and I can’t control what you think. But I want this. I want you. And I’m not leaving you anytime soon.”

He knows he should apologize, maybe take her hand or hug her. But he can’t make himself. The sting of a future betrayal still weighs on him. “Let’s go home,” is all he says, turning his back on her, knowing that she’ll follow him.

The drive back is quiet and miserable. Emori doesn’t speak until they walk through the door.

“I think you should take your room back,” she says quietly, not looking at him as she pours herself a glass of water. It feels like a rejection. Maybe she meant it that way.

“Emori…” He can’t make himself apologize. Why should he, when she should hurry up and admit that she’s using him for something that isn’t entirely honest? Nothing about her is honest - nothing that he can trust anyway.

“You don’t believe me?” Her voice rises suddenly; she’s angry now, he guesses, now that she’s had enough time to process what happened on the bridge. “Let me tell you a story, John.” She takes a step toward him, then another and another until he’s sitting on the arm of the couch and she’s standing over him, eyes hard, hands shaking.

“When I walked in my front door after you dropped me off, I had a gun to my head. My brother was on the ground, either out cold or just faking, and I didn’t have a clue what was going on. Apparently he had stolen tech from a very angry gang and a very angry supplier, and they wanted it back. Of course, Otan had already sold it, so there was nothing else they could do except make us pay up. We were locked in a warehouse for months . Sometimes they left us alone. Sometimes they didn’t. Otan smuggled tech for them a few times, but I couldn’t go with him.” She laughs bitterly. “I guess they knew my reputation for running.”

He tries to say something, but she cuts him off. “Don’t. Don’t even think about it.”

“Emori-“

“Shut up.” She runs her hand through her hair. “After a few weeks of this, the guy that took us in when we were young and taught us how to strip and trade tech showed up. Surprise, surprise. Apparently he worked with those guys now and wasn’t even a little shocked to hear that Otan had stolen from him. But he didn’t believe that Otan acted alone, even though I didn’t have a fucking clue what was going on and was scared to death. So, since Otan couldn’t cough up the tech, he set about making my life a living hell.”

She’s speaking through gritted teeth now, her eyes flashing, her hands balled into fists. Murphy is both captivated and terrified. “When they killed Otan – put a bullet through his brain, by the way, so at least it was quick – they just left me, dumped me by the ocean. I’m sure they figured I’d drown in high tide or some unsuspecting surfer would find me. I ended up in the hospital somehow and had to let them shove my knee back in place. I drew the line at any other tests, and then I ran away when the night guard got lazy.”

“So yes, John, I wanted to go back to Virginia. Because the only person who had shown me any kindness was there, and because I didn’t know where else to go. Even if I hadn’t found you, at least I knew there was somewhere I could hide.”

She rocks back on her heels, her chest rising and falling rapidly, and it’s only then that Murphy realizes she’s crying, silent tears rolling over her cheeks and down to her lips. It’s more than she’s ever told him before, and he senses that there’s more that will come out, but right now he’s killing himself over the fact that the only way he could convince her to be vulnerable was to make her angry enough to spill her guts.

He waits too long. She turns on her heel, walks silently into the bathroom, and shuts the door. He can hear her sob once, then again, before the water starts running. She comes out a minute later, face and the ends of her hair damp, and gives him an unreadable look.

“I want you to trust me, John.” Her voice is almost broken. “But if you can’t, maybe it’s better for both of us if I go.”

“Don’t,” he chokes out, finally moving, lurching forward and upward, rocketing to his feet and nearly startling her in the process. “I was a dick, Emori. I freaked out because it seems too real now, you and me, and I didn’t think about it, about how much it would hurt if you left, if you really weren’t in this for good. I was selfish, and I’m sorry.” He holds out his hand, palm up. “I want you to stay. I want you to stay for a long time.”

She regards him distrustfully, as if he’s a poisonous snake and she’s trying to decide whether or not he’ll strike. Finally, after a long breathless minute, she takes his hand, weaving her smaller fingers through his. “I have to trust you, too,” she whispers, eyes turned downward. “I was scared to sleep every night for a week even though I knew you wouldn’t hurt me. I don’t know if I’m even capable of loving someone the way you deserve.”

The room is growing dark; they had forgotten to turn on the lights when they came home. He turns on the floor lamp now, and the glow casts an eerie sheen over Emori’s face. In her black dress, she looks like a spirit. “I’m gonna choose to see your fear of me hurting you as a good sign,” she says. “It means you’re letting me in. And I like that.”

“And John?” She asks, stepping close, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “I have never lied to you. That's something I can't say to anyone else.”